#but man just sits there
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s0up1ta · 3 months ago
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toxic yaoi or something idk i haven't watched gravity falls
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shushmal · 6 months ago
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"Dude," Steve says, pressing on his eyes because he feels like he's about to cry. "What the fuck."
"What?" Dustin squeaks, alarmed. "What? Steve, you're freaking me out!"
"Good!" Because Steve just worked eighteen hours and it's past midnight and he got thrown up on twice and there was a bed pan incident and even though he showered at the hospital he probably smells awful and it rained and he lost his keys so he had to take the bus and he's sweaty and tired and wet and cold and Dustin's DnD friend is hot. "I can't believe you'd do this to me!" Okay, maybe Steve's feeling a little delirious.
"Do what??" Dustin is full on shrieking right now. His hot friend is standing in their apartment looking more and more worried and hot.
"You didn't tell me he was hot!"
The expressions that go across Dustin's face is impressive, before they stop and he settles on a flat glare. "Seriously??"
Hot guy is now blushing and Steve will collapse if he doesn't keep with the righteous fury.
"I've been TRYING to get you two to meet for months now!"
"You didn't tell me he was hot, though! Dustin!!"
"I don't know what guys are hot, Steve!" Dustin says indignantly. "I thought you didn't like nerds!"
"Dustin!"
"Um," says hot guy. He looks like he's panicking.
Dustin's face changes again. "Oh, no. Oh, no, you're right."
"All this time!" Steve says and he really is close to tears. "You've been nagging on me all this time to find my soulmate, and you had the perfect guy right here?? You had him in my home??? Dustin!"
"Whoa," whispers hot guy.
"I'm sorry," Dustin wails now, just as distraught. "You love nerds, all your favorite people are nerds, I don't know what I was thinking, oh my god!" He whirls on hot guy. "Eddie, give Steve your number right now!"
"Okay," says hot guy Eddie, immediately. His face is super red and his eyes are wide, and he looks scared out of his mind as he fumbles his pocket for his phone. "Yeah-Yep-Absolutely. This is a thing that's happening."
Steve, tears burning in his eyes, watches as Dustin punches his number into Eddie's phone. "Okay," he says a little nasally, wiping quickly at his face. "Okay, I'm going to shower and then sleep for two days, and then pretend like this never happened so I can look hot guy in the eye when he asks me on a date. Sound good?"
"Sounds great!" Dustin says, all cheery now. Behind him, still looking vaguely scared for his life, hot guy gives him a shaky thumbs up.
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adriles · 1 year ago
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
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chloesimaginationthings · 7 months ago
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FNAF Pizza sim’s plot is just the Afton’s fighting
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vmkhoneyy · 10 months ago
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I think if I could be the kind stranger in someone’s memory, that’d be enough.
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courfee · 9 months ago
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oby jeggy is a different kind of dsfkdsf so here is them from the first fic in that series, i will touch you with my mind by my love @itsjaywalkers
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neptunezo · 5 months ago
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The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!
Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!
Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???
Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!
Steph: Cass and I are adopting…
Bruce: Holy shit, actually???
Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt
Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.
Steph: Too young…?
Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?
Cass: Too young for an iguana?
Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.
Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?
Damian: This is my second kid, duh
Bruce: Are you talking about goats?
Damian: Of course I am father
Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!
Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant
Tim:
Bruce: Is it a dog?
Tim: No it’s a tiger
Jason: I have something to tell you
Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?
Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter
Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her
Jason: What the hell are you talking about?
Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????
Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian
Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!
Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?
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mywolvie · 3 months ago
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captain-krow-drozdov · 3 months ago
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Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him
Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.
It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.
So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.
Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.
Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).
Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?
All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.
Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.
One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.
They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.
Memes For The Vibes:
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#captain's posts#this has been haunting me#the flash/any of the speedsters:*exist*#danny:*can feel the speedforce on them* i like your vibe funny man#basically danny is actually an alternate version of Ra's Al Ghul and gets chucked into the dc vesrse#because natural portals are bitches hijinks ensue#and while i do love batfam adopting danny i think its very funny for flash to just yoink him while the big bad bat isn't looking#i desperately need him and tim to be besties tho specifically before they find out danny is an alternate Ra's Al Ghul#danny:*sitting in a park and tinkering with some circuitry* oh hey flash :)#flash: hey kid! great news i might be adopting a kid soon!#danny: oh really? thats cool-#flash:*holding out adoption papers and doing his best puppy eyes* its you. sign here.#danny:*vague memory of clockwork complaining about speedster pops into his mind* hmmm#danny:*deciding to be a little shit cause what else do you do when you're almost a year into being stuck in an alternate dimension* >=)#danny: sure why not? soooo full name or what?#flash:*didn't expect to get this far* uh-#i also really like danny being clockworks apprentice/time line clean upper so danny just remembers cw bitchin about the speedsters#also cause im a sucker for tim x danny...#tim:*having a crisis cause the cute meta kid he befriended/has a crush on may or may not be a vlone of Ra's Al Ghul* aaaaasaaaaaaaasaaaaaaa#dick: you okay buddy?#tim:*aggressively points at the dna match of danny to Ra's Al Ghul on the bat computer* AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dick: Oh-#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc
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zephyrchama · 8 months ago
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Demon brothers who will go out of their comfort zone for you. Lucifer, who stands higher and prouder than anyone, kneeling to tie your shoe. To be on your level. You could have easily tied it yourself, but you didn't even have to ask. He only does these gestures for you.
Mammon, greedy to save up every last grimm he can, giving you money to buy the silly trinket you wanted. Your enjoyment is worth more to him than anything in his wallet.
Leviathan, who'd do anything to hide himself away and disconnect from other people, following you anywhere you want to go. He'll brave crowds, embarrassment, and the worst anxiety to be by your side.
Satan, on a never-ending quest for information and respect, teaching you anything. He'll share his knowledge only for you, telling you everything you want to know and finding the answer to all your questions.
Asmodeus, always perfect and pristine in every way, showing you his vulnerable side. The side no one else knows of. His tears and insecurities are visages reserved only for you.
Beelzebub, gluttonous for immediate satisfaction, holding himself back for your sake. Waiting to eat because he knows you'll be cooking for him. Waiting to savor it. Waiting so he can share with you and make your day just a little brighter.
Belphegor, a sloth with little intrinsic motivation, pushing himself for your sake. Staying up later and later to stay around you. Not just in a dream, but the real you. Doing better in school so that you and your praise can be his reward.
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egophiliac · 11 months ago
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I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!
I am not normal about any of these characters!
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#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters#if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime#i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy#he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent.#and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me.#he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say#(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting)#('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage)#(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him)#(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality')#(sounds about right)#on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨#who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth#everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb.#now we know where malleus gets it from i guess#also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences#tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago#frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate.#also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness.#they fit right in with everyone else#<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess.#and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)
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obsob · 10 months ago
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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!
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anniebass · 4 months ago
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high spice tolerance, my ass
(old man smut)
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xcleanx · 7 months ago
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were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? were you writing a book? were you a sleeper-cell spy? in fifty years will all this be declassified? and you'll confess why you did it… and i'll say good riddance ’cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden…. I WOULD’VE DIED FOR YOUR SINS INSTEAD I JUST DIED INSIDE!!!!!!!!! AND YOU DESERVE PRISON BUT YOU WON’T GET TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’LL SLIDE INTO INBOXES AND SLIP THROUGH THE BARS YOU CRASHED MY PARTY IN YOUR RENTAL CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SAID NORMAL GIRLS WERE BORING BUT YOU WERE GONE BY THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KICKED OUT THE STAGE LIGHTS BUT YOU’RE STILL PERFORMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………. and in the plain sight you hid……. and you are what you did…… and i’ll forget you but i’ll never forgive…. the smallest man who ever lived.
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aithusarosekiller · 6 months ago
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Imagine how mad everyone would be when 'school sweetheart, funny, sassy, modern Adonis, gryffindor prince James potter' had almost the entire school in love with him and chose to go for 'nasty, angry, Victorian looking Slytherin seeker Regulus Black, who pretends to hate him all the time'
And James doesn't even care he's just head over fucking heels for his boy
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spielzeugkaiser · 1 year ago
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How it started-
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How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-
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