#but man does social interaction of any variety feel like work right now

[iamthecomet]

The long dark days of January are really digging their teeth in right now. Sorry if I am less responsive/vaugely MIA/slower to answer things. It's not you. And I promise I am fine, genuinely, and will continue to be fine. I am just exhausted and all I want to do is sleep and craft and listen to murder podcasts and not think. It's hibernation days. Maybe I'll be back to normal by Wednesday when I finally have a day off (last week was also the busiest week I've had in months), maybe not. But just didn't want anyone with unanswered messages or asks (current and future) to think I didn't want to answer. I do I am just so, so tired. I will get to them when the energy returns, I promise.

[aingeal98]

hiii i consider u a cass expert and since this has been eating at my brain for a few years at this point; do you have any thoughts on the way cain's poor excuse for parenting impacted cass on more of a cognitive/developmental level? like children need stimuli of all kind that she clearly didnt get even outside of literacy and social interaction and i think its super interesting to explore how cass has complicated relationships with things most people take for granted (like... did cain allow her to have any toys? to play any games other than the "two for flinching" thing? does she struggle with the fine motor skill needed for writing bc she really didnt have smth similar? omg is she ok?? i want to peel her like an onion so badly) sorry for brain vomiting over here i have thoughts and feelings about cass cain and its incurable

Anon you've come to the right place for incurable thoughts and feelings about Cassandra Cain! And you raise such a good point like there's no way Cain's abuse didn't leave her with more than just aphasia, illiteracy, cptsd, all the emotional issues... OK well he left her with a lot of stuff but still! You're definitely right that there's more. I'm no expert but one thing I know how to do is ramble about Cass, so:

In flashbacks we see young Cass doing a jigsaw of a rose in the dojo Cain's raising her in, which makes me think he did want to find ways to make sure her cognitive skills functioned even without words. Of course this is just me theorising but in terms of toys I think he would have carefully selected things that would stimulate her brain and improve her motor skills even without reading and writing. The image of David Cain carefully buying Jenga and Operation and making sure all the packaging with words on it never reaches Cass is now permenantly stuck in my head so thank you for that.

I do think she was definitely deprived of a lot though, and things like the jigsaw were clearly meant to be filler stuff for her before the actual fun games like "getting shot and dodging the next few bullets". I don't think Cain would have ever wanted Cass to be relaxed and comfortable enough to actually fully enjoy playing with toys, you know? If she was actually able to find things like jigsaws meaningful and fulfilling then his conditioning of her to associate getting shot with "fun game of dodgeball" wouldn't have been as successful. Cass may not have liked two for flinching but she did love the fighting and the dodging. Any thoughts of "why am I in pain when I could just be playing Jenga" would have never been allowed enter Cass's head. Which would be easy enough because (understandably so given the isolation) Cass looked up to Cain and got joy and fulfilment from seeing him smile. He doesn't care if she finished the jigsaw other than getting angry/worried if she fails. Whereas being able to assemble and break apart a gun while blind makes him light up with happiness/pride. So naturally, even with Cain making sure her brain isn't TOO different for her not to be able to function as the perfect weapon, she would still be deprived of important cognitive skills and stimuli.

The writing specific fine motor skills would definitely be impacted imo because while her training makes sure her hands can work a massive variety of weapons and probably permenantly injure a man in multiple places with each finger, writing is such a specific task that only comes naturally to us because we learned it so young. It can be learned later in life of course but the natural act of holding a pen and writing would feel so alien to Cass. And that's before you factor in her dyslexia like no wonder we only saw her pick up a pen once 😭 Cass being able to write the alphabet with any sort of ease and lack of intense focus would be a massive accomplishment given David Cain's fuckery.

And just in general being so isolated for most of her childhood would have impacted her brain so badly like even without the autism Cass must have been in overstimulated sensory hell after leaving Cain. So many voices talking, which she'd never heard before. So many smells and sounds and new textures and sights that are too intense for her eyes to handle. She missed out on an entire world and only got to start experiencing it when she was 8, that's got to have a longterm impact. I think as well as autism Bruce and Barbara had her tested for adhd due to all the symptoms she displayed. Doctors aren't clear if she actually has it or if its something different brought on by her upbringing. She spent nine years homeless and travelling so she's more adjusted than she was at the start but there's still times that the whole world just goes blurry and whoops panic attack time need to find an empty place and hide.

I'll stop here so I don't rant forever but thank you for giving me the chance to yell about head. canons and theories. Cass is indeed the most fascinating onion, and the layers are endless. Feel free to rant in my inbox whenever you want I love hearing other people's thoughts on her!

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

random hcs for rob. 'scuse me if some have already been written out-

robin:

while not religious, what's his opinion towards deities, aspects, and so on?

should he be given the means to, would robin do it all over again or take another path regarding his deal with a demon?

how does robin feel about socializing?

what keeps him going when all odds are stacked against him?

robin has one single wish granted, right now, without thinking about it too long. what does he wish for?

WHAT'S UNDER THE HAT

═══ HEADCANON INQUIRIES ═══

While not religious, what's his opinion towards deities, aspects, and so on?

Robin's views on "higher beings" definitely changed after the incident with his family, they fall more in line with Pantheon's view if anything. Throughout his life Zaun already felt like it was going to kill him, he was a poor little Zaunite rat and Gods (or help) were always missing whenever he went looking for them. They represent the callous heartlessness of the universe to him; they don't care and human lives are like candy wrappers to them, light as air and inconsequential.

This also becomes a positive driving factor in the new AU I'm working on for Robin, where he changes course and works to save those already living instead of focusing on reviving the dead. He's well aware that the deities of the universe don't give a damn, so he'll do it himself. "The people cry out for strength that is already theirs" <- That sort of thing.

The only entity that Robin doesn't have a dislike for are the Kindred, within their neutrality he has no place to judge them, they are what they are.

Should he be given the means to, would robin do it all over again or take another path regarding his deal with a demon?

I've often said that if Robin had a single person to push him in another direction his story would have been very different <- New AU is actually going to explore this idea. That being said, if he was able to go back with the knowledge he had today, he wouldn't make the same decision since he'd know the horrific consequences of such decisions. He WAS the villain of his own story - not Abel, not the person who killed him, he was the one who led himself into Hell.

Though...if he simply went back without anything changing, he'd make the same decisions easily, and go through the same hardship. Robin's doom wasn't spelled out on the day of the incident, it wasn't an immediate damnation but a slowly simmering destruction that took about 6-7 months to finally boil over. He didn't immediately lose himself, but no one was there to help him from fading away. The tiniest little change could have shifted this; which therein lies the true tragedy.

How does robin feel about socializing?

Despite his high level of charisma and easy sociability he doesn’t usually interact with people in his spare time, preferring to skulk around by himself and take in things he finds interesting. He's REALLY good at talking to people for the most part, but usually needs a push from Bel to do it. This was the same when he was alive, but he was much more open to the idea of being the one to approach someone else.

Shockingly he has interacted with a WIDE variety of muses and made quite a few accidental friendships - these people are the ones that will actually get his genuine attention and care. He will actively seek them out since they, for the majority, don't drain his social battery or make him feel like he has to play a part.

What keeps him going when all odds are stacked against him?

Well! Funny about that actually--

“Loss is nothing but change, and change is nature’s delight.” Nature’s delight and Man’s personal hell: a foe to friendship, an inescapable punishment, a necessary evil in the never-ending cycle of existence. There was no relief, steadily he had lost all joy once found in everything around him, had it ever mattered? What did this cruel misery have to offer him? Any beauty had turned to ash as he saw what Life was worth when the rest had gone. His mind wandered to the window sill, how far would he fall until Lamb's arrow pierced his heart? He craved it. An escape from this nightmare.

As I said a slowly simmering destruction. The promise of him finally having someone through A/Bel stopped him during the past, but without that intervention he would have ended it. He was tired and in too much grief without any support system.

Now....well, he has no choice but to perservere, he can't die, the demon won't let him.

Robin has one single wish granted, right now, without thinking about it too long. what does he wish for?

"Take me back to that day, just a few hours earlier." - Funnily enough, at least in the canon timeline of his life, he doesn't wish for them to be revived. I think by now he's WELL aware of the calamity that would bring to them. But given the chance he would go back and get them out, avoid the entire issue by removing them from the house for that night. Even if it ultimately only buys them a little more time.

WHAT'S UNDER THE HAT?

UNDER EVERY HAT IS ANOTHER HAT.

TWO WHITE MICE PULLING HIS HAIR LIKE IN RATATOUILLE.

BEAUTIFUL FLUFFY HAIR THAT HE SHOULD GROW OUT AGAIN.

A SMALL ROSEMARY PLANT.

AN ELDRITCH GOD WITH COUNTLESS EYES THAT WILL BLACKEN THE SUMMER SKIES WHEN IT OPENS ITS BURNING WINGS.

A single, long forgotten piece of bread - probably moldy.

[virghogh]

NCT Dream Birth Charts x Hexaco Results Analysis pt. 3

recently NCT Dream were on a new reality show called Mental Training Camp where they are doing a variety of activities and all of their behavior and interactions are being analyzed by professional psychologists

ofc my virgo sun mercury ass was thrilled and I had their birth charts pulled up the whole time to cross reference.

I wanted to share some of my personal thoughts on how the 2 might connect!

Thank you for all the support on the previous parts <3

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 

**key: in the hexaco charts the blue represents the Dreamies, the orange is an average result of 300 college students who took the same test**

Haechan - “Popular and Ambitious” 

✨gemini sun // leo moon // cancer mercury // gemini venus // gemini mars✨

they started Haechans analyses by labeling him as popular and ambitious, and even without looking at the hexaco or his birth chart these 2 traits are very easy to see in him. Haechans birth chart and hexaco are really interesting and almost refreshing to me because everything is so straightforward. I honestly think Haechan is a very what you see is what you get kind of person. I think the psychologists on the show were feeling some of that interest and refreshing feeling too because they described him as being very different from the rest of the group (and the college students), and kind of special. A somewhat rare personality.

the first thing they talked about was his insane level of extroversion. I have to say when I first saw that I choked on air a little. Not only is it just ridiculously high, but it’s also so obvious given his birth chart too. looking at the hexaco chart, the focus on extroversion and then how the other areas are either just around the average or below is very interesting to me. we saw something similar in a few of the previous dreamies too. Some of them had highly above average scores for one area and to me that says a lot about the dominant parts of their personality. 

Looking at haechans birth chart, we all know he’s practically on par with Seventeens Hoshi for being an iconic gemini. Having such a social, extroverted and excitable sign in 3 different planets will certainly make someone extroverted, but charts have to be looked at as a whole as well and he’s also fortunate to have a leo moon because it doesn’t add any kind of introversion. He is a pure excitable, affectionate and social extrovert. His extroversion can be seen in the ways he’s very interested in whats happening “out there”. Gemini’s are very curious and restless and like to explore the world and environment around them, and have a lot to gain from connecting with people. 

Right after they mentioned this though, they quickly added that it’s actually somewhat rare for highly extroverted people to be highly conscientious too. If you look at his hexaco his next highest scores are conscientiousness and openness. Even though gemini is a mutable sign and likes to try new things and stay entertained, they are some of the most determined people I’ve ever met. You do not want to get in between a Gemini and their work. Gemini is a very mental sign as well, they’re good with tasks and enjoy getting them done and focusing on their work. As well as his firey Leo moon. Leo is a sign that I often think can change quite a lot depending on the chart and houses but his with the gemini, is creating a highly focused, ambitious and driven person. 

they described him as the “relief pitcher” for the team when in crisis. He’s the one that comes into the game for a round or 2 when things aren’t going well to secure their win, then steps back out. If this isn’t the most accurate description for haechan and gemini/leo?! Leo and Gemini are both highly intelligent signs, I feel like people don’t talk about that a lot with leo but it’s true! Also his combination of leo with gemini is interesting because sometimes people have drive, ambition and passion, but there are other placement that kind of complicate how it gets expressed. And they can’t always fulfill all of their desires and passions. But having all gemini and that one leo is really in his favor, he’s very “this is what I want, so I’m going to get it”. It’s easy for him. He can easily bring his ambitions to fruition which is why he’s the “relief pitcher”. It’s gemini magic and leo talent honestly.

this was the extent of what they said for Haechan but I have more I’d like to add! 

his openness is on par with his conscientiousness and that is also no surprise because even though gemini gets a rep. for being “detached” it’s actually a fairly open sign too. What gemini is open about depends greatly on the other placements, and in haechans case with his only other influences being leo and cancer, he can easily be open about those traits and desires. The attention, validation, love and affection. They are all very big parts of him, and he also has no problem speaking his mind. But he also isn’t as obsessive as other leo and cancer combinations because of his overwhelming gemini. It’s very “in this second I want affection” and then the next second he’s over it. With haechan I’ve always found it interesting how he is so openly affectionate but it never seems like an unhealthy attachment thing? he isn’t reliant on it, and can easily go from wanting it, to not. It’s very uncomplicated. This is also part of the Gemini rep. they are very flighty and their minds change by the second, but are also very self-reliant and independent. This is also why his emotionality is low even though his openness is high. Again, I don’t think he’s an emotionally driven person, he’s just open with his desires. 

tldr; talented, confident, skilled, self-sufficient and independent. He is driven by exploring the world and people around him, he enjoys making connections. Very open about his thoughts and needs, but emotionally uncomplicated. His drive and ambition is bottomless, never-ending. What he wants, he gets. 

Jaemin - “Optimistic My Way”

✨leo sun // capricorn moon // leo mercury // virgo venus // leo mars✨

I would like to start by saying that Jaemin is the sole reason that it took me so long to get this post out. This boy has always, and probably always will, confuse the hell out of me. And I’m sure he likes it that way. Actually, I’m confident he likes it that way because he admitted to the psychologists that on the test they took he answered number 3 for every question, so he wouldn’t have to reveal too much about himself. This is why they labeled him as “my way”, very “do what I want” kind of person. They said he really made them use a lot of brain power, and I relate lol. Even outside of this post every time I watch nct dream I’m always trying to understand Jaemin. So here goes my best shot at understanding this man. 

they mentioned jaemin is difficult and complicated, he’s hard to read, and he’s someone that cannot be perfectly described with one personality test. I agree, which is why I hope one day we can get those house placements please! 

The first thing that caught my attention based off his chart is how small his blue hexagon is. I actually had to double check that the blue was him and not the average😅 because of how he answered the test I don’t know how accurate the hexaco is? they didn’t really comment on that but they did continue to reference it. 

the main thing they talked about with Jaemin was about how he is very aware of what he does and doesn’t like, he knows who he gets along with and who he doesn’t, he has no problems showing when he doesn’t like something, and he is very uninterested and borderline apathetic when it comes to things and people he is simply not interested in. 

I think where I get really tripped up with Jaemin is because he has 3 leo placements, yet I feel like he doesn’t act much like a typical leo in my opinion? At least not to the cameras. I honestly think Jaemin might be someone who is very different off camera and at home. When I see jaemin I see flashes of it, but I get a lot of his earth influence. 

I want to start with his capricorn moon because I feel like it’s something i see the most in him. For starters, it is literally why he is so private. Even before this show, it was a well known thing amongst NCTzens that Jaemin is a very private person. He also comes off as very reserved, in control and calm. Jaemin answering every question with a 3, so that it neither over or under represents him, but puts him in the questionable middle, is very capricorn moon. Not wanting to be understood. Not wanting to appear as having any exact problems. They’re practical, controlled, level-headed... right? They’re not the ones with messy emotions, couldn’t be them.... That’s the whole capricorn struggle. The moon is put in a very tough spot with Capricorn. Scorpio moons are in fall and Capricorns are in detriment. But it works very differently. Scorpios have wickedly intense emotions that they are kind of scared of, so they hide them, but they want to be understood and feel safe enough to express them. Capricorn moons straight up deny their feelings. 

On the bright side though, I feel like his Capricorn moon is also responsible for the other part of his personality which is: how weird he is. Capricorn moons are also known for being ridiculously funny and weird. Very weird. I think this is also where his Leo comes in and kind of teams up with his moon. Leo’s are natural performers and sometimes when I watch Jaemin I find myself being like “he is really putting on a show right now” but not in a bad way, I’m always highly entertained lol. He is a natural performer.  

In haechan’s section I mentioned how, to me, leo is one of the signs that can change so drastically depending on the other planets and houses. I think jaemin is a really good example of this, because even without his hexaco chart we all know Jaemin is a huge introvert. He is actually a self-proclaimed introvert. He is open is the way he shows it, and he even said in a show that talking with people is hard because he loses so much energy. I think his Capricorn and Virgo play a big role in this and it’s why I’m so curious what his houses are and where that leo is. Because even though our moons affect us a lot, with 3 leo placements i would expect someone to be a little more extroverted. 

Where I also see a lot of his Leo though, is of course, with how affectionate he is. he’s also very creative and a huge provider. A big misconception with leo is that all they do is take. This is one side to leo, and Haechan is a good example of that side because he has the gemini and leo moon, but Jaemin is a really good example of the strong provider and caretaker side of Leo. With his earth placements too. he is definitely someone who prides himself on taking care of people. 

now to compare his hexaco to his birth chart, his extroversion, emotionality, agreeableness and honesty-humility is lower than average. Sure, part of that could be the way he took the test, but I also think it can be seen in his very controlling earth placements. Having earth in 2 of the planets that hold a lot of our emotions and expression, and the fact that it is virgo and capricorn and not taurus, is making him very in control of his emotions and expression, and he has strong boundaries. It also makes him more introverted. The low agreeableness is just his whole chart honestly. Leo is a fixed sign, and even though virgo is mutable, they still have very particular ways they like to do things, and capricorn is a leader and takes charge. 

His openness is interesting to me and I wanna say that I think it’s very similar to what I wrote for haechan. He’s open, but not necessarily emotionally driven. He is open about the things that drive him, so not emotions, but something else. Work. His morals and values. His boundaries. Things he does and doesn’t like! lastly, his conscientiousness also fits into this, virgo capricorn and leo are all extremely driven, passionate and hard workers and we know work and stability is a high value and priority of his.  

tdlr; hard to read, very private and likes it that way. He is driven by work, ethic, stability and providing. He knows his values, and has little interest in things he doesn’t care for. Optimistic, weird, funny and a natural performer. Likes to be in control and needs to recharge a lot. Probably the most different off camera and at home. 

and that’s part 3! Thanks you to everyone that has tuned into this series it was so much fun. Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3

[moonloredraws]

House of Blood

A story about an overworked and stressed out individual who goes to a vampire brothel for some consensual hypnosis to start off her holiday off work.

M Vampire x F Human (NSFW, tw hypnosis , tw vampire biting ) 4277 words

---  Life had been a cycle of stress and problems, and things had been spiralling for you recently. Your job had become too much to handle, your co-workers had once again proven to be unreliable and your boss had been more unreasonable than usual. Things had been hectic.

Your holiday had come up, fortunately. A couple of weeks away from the incessant stream of issues was a welcome reprieve. You had planned on enjoying yourself, treating yourself to some new clothes and other goodies. 

You had even decided to go to the local smut bookshop. The Moonlore Bookstore had always piqued your interest, but you'd never really had any reason to go in. The interior was surprising, the inside seemed much older than the modern facade of the building led you to believe, but the atmosphere was cozy and welcoming. The front was a cafe, with the back half of the space hiding the books behind some discreet dividers. It had an unusual vibe for a place to buy erotic books.

The thing that most had stood out was an extensive board of flyers, business cards and other advertisements of all kinds.

This was clearly a busy place that many supernatural beings frequented, but that made sense, given how the owner seemed of elven descent and her husband was a werewolf. Much of the ads were specific services for the variety of creatures that shared the human world, though much of the ads were for different places that you hadn't even heard of. Why would there be adverts for services in Amsterdam, Chicago, London and some other notable cities all in one place? It boggled your mind.

However, as you scanned the board with curiosity, you noticed a stack of discreet ash grey cards with a bright red embellished pair of lips. They stood out, and you looked a bit closer.

“Are you stressed? Want to have your worried sucked away?Come to the House of Blood for a fresh reset.”

It was in your area, too. 

  You had never heard of such a place before. You unpinned one of the cards, and took a closer look. It seemed like some kind of establishment run by vampires. Brothels run by the supernatural community was nothing new, but you had never frequented something like it before. Your gut twisted with excitement. You had never really cared for such things, but something about having your stress relieved fast and possibly having fun on the side tickled your fancy.

With your new treats and purchases, you went home, and did some more digging on the House of Blood. It had a discreet website, and it was definitely a brothel of some kind, as you had suspected. It seemed legit, had a small gallery of some incredibly well dressed vampires, some information on the workers and the owner, and you gave a sigh of relief at it being legit.

It did have a appointment form, but encouraged people to go there in person to have a chat about the different options they offered and what would be most appropriate for the client. 

  So you got yourself hyped up. This was all new and exciting, and you waited until an hour after night-fall. Following your phone's GPS, you made your way to the place. It was in an alley off a very busy street, which may have rung some alarms bells if it weren't for the beautiful state of the alley. It was clean, no dumpsters, bright neon signs lighting everything up and with a clear big sign next to the door. You let out a breath you didn't know you had been keeping, and slouched your shoulders as you walked to the door nervously. The beautiful ashen door had the same red lips on it as the card, and you nervously turned the handle, and entered into a small hallway that had some stairs leading upstairs.

Climbing the red carpet covered stairs, you looked around at the rich reds and ashen colours of the interior. Clearly the same person had designed this place and the vampire run nightclub in the area. Or maybe the owner was the same. Perhaps, though, they simply kept up the same “vampire aesthetic” for the other people around. You weren't sure. However, as you got to the top, you came to a brightly lit waiting room. There was a desk of bright cherry red plastic, and behind it was a woman, her blonde hair pulled into a messy bun, with lipstick to match the desk and a slouchy cream coloured sweater. 

  “Welcome to the House of Blood! I don't believe I've seen you here before?” said the woman, her cheeks lifting as she smiled. You nodded as you walked closer, still a bit nervous.

“It's my first time here, yes,” your voice wavered, as you came up to the desk. “ Well, welcome! I'm Amandine, but you can just call me Mandy. Since you're new, I need you to fill out a simple questionnaire, and a little form. I'll help you through everything, so don't worry about it if something is unfamiliar!”

Her cheerful and helpful disposition helped put you at ease, and you swiftly filled in some details, the medical history part took you by surprise, but it made sense. Vampires drink blood, after all. 

  The 'little form' ended up being a pretty big list, actually. Most of it was kinks and things that you would be alright with in a sexual situation. What intrigued you was the box marked “hypnosis”. 

  “What does that involve?” you looked curiously over to Amandine. “Is that something like becoming puppeted...?”

Amandine shook her head, giving a slight chuckle. “No, when we 'hypnotise' people, it's more like we induce a state of intense tunnel vision. You'll feel things more intensely, and I haven't found an easier way to say this, but it just makes you very horny. We haven't found a better term, so we just use 'hypnotise'.” “Huh,” you hummed at it.

“Since you're looking at some stress relief, I do suggest that. It's very difficult to have your mind wandering while under the effects.” Amandine added helpfully. That sealed the deal. All in all you weren't really looking for a very extreme interaction, you just wanted to have some fun, but the added benefit of not having to worry about much seemed too good to pass up.

Amandine settled the paperwork, clipped it all together, and then pointed at one of the doors. 

  “You'll want to go to room 4. There are no locks, for client and worker safety, but rest assured, nobody except the right person will walk into your room,” she gave a playful wink as she stood up and walked to a different door in the lobby, directly behind the desk. 

  “There's a box for your clothes, and there's a fluffy robe, if you'd like to get into something more comfortable, waiting for you in the room.”

You nodded, butterflies tickling your stomach as you walked through the door, into a well decorated hallway, to a door with the number 4 on it. Cautiously, you opened it, and entered.

The interior was plush. There was a soft looking bed, and a couch, and a door to bathroom. Everything was some sort of red or dark grey tone. You found a small night stand, and a fluffy maroon robe. 

  You did as Amandine suggested, and stripped completely, shoving your clothes unceremoniously into the empty nightstand's drawer. The rest were filled with a pile of sex toys and condoms. Your cheeks flushed as you quickly put the robe on and went to sit down. 

  Your current situation began to dawn on you, and you restlessly played with your hands. Before you could get overwhelmed with doubt and stand up to put your clothes back on, you heard a knock on the door.

“Come in!” You squeaked. It was happening. No turning back now.

The door opened and a tall, pale skinned man slid in, a tray in his hands with two cups and a teapot. Your heart skipped a little as he flashed a fanged smile at you, dimples appearing on his cheeks.

“I'm Xavier, please to meet you!” He quickly set the tray down, and went to shut the door behind him. You nervously introduced yourself, noting how much your voice was shaking. 

  Xavier had a fluffy mop of wavy brown hair, and a slight 5 o'clock shadow painting his jaw. His eyes were a friendly brown, and if it hadn't been for his fangs, you could have sworn he was just some guy who didn't get outside much.

 He wore a lightly cream coloured shirt, an intricately patterned green and gold vest, and some brown dress pants. He seemed much too overdressed to be part of a brothel, he'd be a much more fitting sight in a themed host club. 

  “No need to be so nervous. You're here to have a good time, right?” Xavier said as he sat down on the couch, placing the tray between the two of you. “Mandy said you preferred chamomile, so that's what we have.”

“Can vampires even drink tea?” The question had left your lips involuntarily, and Xavier let out a chuckle.

“Eating and drinking depends on what kind of vampire you are. Most turned vampires have a hard time processing food and some drinks, but I'm a born vampire, I can deal with this all just fine.”

You let out a 'huh' at that, and then picked up one of the cups which Xavier had filled with tea.

“So, a little bird told me that you've been dealt a bad hand by life at the moment.” Xavier took a sip of his tea. 

  You nodded, and began to tentatively recount some of the more frustrating events. Soon, you let yourself get more relaxed, and your gestures become more intense as you vented your worries, and Xavier ended up being a very good listener. 

  The conversation eventually started to lose steam, so Xavier picked up. He started to talk about himself. He had an interest in very fine embroidering, and occasionally would make some clothes for himself. He showed off his vest at that point, beaming at his creation. 

  “So... how come you've ended up working here?” You asked. Someone so skilled at sewing ending up in a brothel instead of working as a designer seemed odd.

“I enjoy helping people like this, and I'm a bit of a social butterfly. I tried being a host once, but that didn't end up working so well. I have... a slightly voracious appetite.” He smiled apologetically. You inhaled sharply at that, and you felt your cheeks warming up, and you felt a jolt in the pit of your stomach.

“I'll follow your lead, whenever you want to move onto something else, we can do that.” Xavier chuckled. 

  You nodded, blushing, and your shoulders tensed up. Xavier regarded you with a warm gaze, and slowly moved the tray to the side and shuffled closer to you, gingerly putting a hand on your shoulder.

“You're a bit tense again. Would you want me to give your shoulders a little massage?” He purred.

The vibrations of his voice went straight to your loins, and you stiffly nodded, turning your back to him. He gently tugged at the collar of your robe.

“Loosen your robe a bit, I can reach a little better that way.” He pulled the robes a little looser around your neck, and then gently pressed his fingers into your shoulders. As it turned out, his skills also extended to massaging, and you slowly found yourself sinking towards him. 

  You sighed, and soon he removed his hands. 

  “Feeling any better?” Xavier smiled at you.

“That was amazing,” you said, and then sighed.

He leaned slightly closer, leaning his head on his hand and sitting in a more casual pose. “I can keep going... or we can move onto something different?”

You debated on it for a moment, before the ache in the pit of your stomach started to become a little more incessant. 

  “I think... something a little different might be nice...” you said, slowly, and something lit up in Xavier's eyes. 

  “Then... may I touch you, pet?” His voice had changed, something almost predatory came alive in him. You nodded, almost afraid, but something about being in the presence of this creature excited you.

He gently placed his hand on your knee, and then slowly slid up your thigh, giving it a little squeeze halfway up. His hand started to skirt along the edge of the fabric of the robe. 

  “I won't touch anywhere that is covered... so you lead.” He purred, keeping his hand on your thigh, rubbing languid circles with his thumb. You let out a little huff, and then bashfully began to untie the belt on the robe. As you slowly let the belt fall away, your robe opened slightly, and Xavier let out an approving sound, slowly trailing his finger higher up your thigh.Soon, his hand dragged up your partially exposed stomach, between the groove of your breasts, then lightly touching the line of your collarbone. 

  “Mmh... you already smell so good and we've barely even started. You must really want this, that, or you're just naturally a treat.” Xavier licked his lips. “If you want me to make you feel better just say the word.”

The slow drag of his fingertips across your skin and the mood of the room made you a little bit braver all of a sudden.

“What do you have in mind?”

Xavier let out a chuckle, and you let his hand travel around to tip your chin upwards. “I can make you feel a way you've never felt before.” 

  “Is that right?” you tested him, before shakily breathing out, “show me what you've got then.”

He grinned, and something changed.

In the split second that you had challenged him, your body suddenly got hot, your vision blurred and your brain suddenly felt trapped in a bubble.

“Look at me, pet,” Xavier whispered, holding the back of your head with one of his hands. “It's alright. Nothing bad will happen.”

Your head was spinning, the sensation was odd and uncomfortable, but soon enough you focused on the way that his other hand was petting your thigh. You focused on the way his eyes were staring at you, the way his lips moved, and before you had a chance to get used to this strange sensation of being partially stuck in your own head, your entire being became a ball of nerves.

You started to breathe heavily as the fabric of the robe began to feel constricting around you, and you started struggling out of the fabric. Your body didn't want to listen very well, and you couldn't managed to make the fabric slip off you.

Xavier hummed, looking at you.

“What's the matter, pet? Having some trouble taking your clothes off?” He was clearly enjoying this, but you found that you didn't mind his teasing. “Do you need me to help you?”

You tried to reply, but all that came out was a moan, so you weakly nodded your head.

In a swift motion, you found yourself pulled onto Xavier's lap, your front exposed to him, your legs spread obscenely. The new sensation of the fabric of his pants made you let out another soft moan, and he quickly pulled the robe from your shoulders. The way his hands felt on you was mind blowing, and you didn't hold back the pleased rumbling that came from your throat.

“You look comfortable.” His eyes scanned you up and down, and his hands began to move up your sides. Everything was so sensitive, his fingers were like fire licking at you. In the haze of this dark, dimly lit room, there was only Xavier. You couldn't think of anything else but his hands, his face, his beautiful full lips. Your stares didn't go unnoticed, and he smirked. 

  “It seems that someone wants something more, hmm?” his voice was a purr, quiet, meant only for your ears. Weakly, you managed another nod, and he pulled your hips a bit closer and pulled on your shoulders to make you lean over. His lips connected with yours, and you let out a lewd mewl, breathing out hard. His kisses started out softly, massaging your lips, clearly ignoring your needy attempts at making out with him. Kissing him, and feeling his hands running up and down your thighs, hips, ass, it made you feel on cloud nine. So much of his touch made you feel turned on, you'd honestly never felt anything like this.

You were momentarily pulled from your frustrations when Xavier ran his tongue over your lips. It sent a jolt down your spine, and you involuntarily shivered. You vaguely heard a chuckle through the murky horniness of your mind, and you let out a deep moan.

You weren't allowed to recover from this assault on your senses when Xavier put one of his hands behind your head and he deepened the kiss, darting his tongue through your lips and exploring your mouth. You had to close your eyes, and grabbed tightly on his shirt to avoid floating away, your brain being bombarded with too many sensations.

You lost track of time, you lost track of yourself, you couldn't tell where you ended, and where Xavier started. Everything that you felt in that moment was so unfocused, but the pleasure was beyond what you believed was possible.

Xavier pulled away, and you were ripped from your intense pleasure. You managed to make a frustrated noise, and Xavier gently stroked your jaw.

  “Come on, surely kissing isn't the reason you came here?” He gave you a curious look and you had a moment of clarity through the haze. He noticed the momentary sobriety, before letting one of his fingers gently rub against one of your nipples.

The sensation shot through your body and another moan ripped through you. “Thought so.”

You were quickly bundled into strong arms, and were laid out onto a soft surface. Xavier joined you on the bed, and moved to trap you between himself and the bed.

“Time for the main event, pet.” he breathed out, his eyes having grown even more intense than before. 

  Something about this well dressed, hungry vampire looming over you made you feel so desired, you wanted him to drink from you, to have a taste of you, to fuck you senseless.

It wasn't long before he dipped down and took your nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue over the sensitive bud. You writhed under him, and he had to grab your shoulders to keep you still. It was torturous, each flick of the tongue made you feel so good, but it wasn't enough.

That is, until he moved one of his hands to gently stroke at your folds.

You came instantly, and almost screamed, the feeling of that sudden action tipping you over the edge. 

  You felt Xavier chuckling against you, still licking at your nipple as he hovered his hand over your pussy.

“That was fast. Do it again,” he went right back to sucking on your breast, and you felt his hand come down on you again.

You didn't come instantly this time, but you weren't far off as the haziness of your mind and the overload of sensitivity had you hurtling towards your next orgasm. Xavier didn't let up though, and your body didn't put up any resistance as his fingers played around with your folds and clit, the little bundle of nerves almost on fire under the thorough touch of his fingers.

You were vaguely aware of him moving upwards, kissing a trail on your skin, before nuzzling your neck.

Xavier hummed in approval, and gave a quick lick over your neck. “You smell so good.... I want a taste.” His voice was quiet, skirting over your skin. “Can I?”

A noise came out from you, approving. You could barely concentrate on anything, and when Xavier's soft lips touched the base of your neck, his fingers still in you, your mind suddenly went blank.

For a while, your mind and consciousness was almost separated from your body, the only thing you were aware of was immense pleasure.

It lasted for so long. You couldn't tell how long you were in this state of pure bliss.

Slowly, you felt like you were coming back to yourself. 

  With a sigh, you blinked your eyes open, finding yourself cradled next to Xavier, wrapped in a blanket.

“Hey,” he said, sheepishly. “How are you feeling?”

You couldn't help the blush that crept on your face at the sight of his warm smile. Were his cheeks a bit red too? Something had changed in him. You couldn't pinpoint it, but he seemed more lively.

“I-I'm ok,” You mumbled into the blanket. “That was... amazing.”

“It's pretty cool, huh?” Xavier laughed, before smoothing back his hair and sitting up, his clothes still impeccable despite what had transpired. “Would you like me to get you some tea and cakes?”

You had requested for a caring service, but you hadn't quite expected to be tucked into bed and to get served tea and sweets after getting fucked thoroughly. You hadn't even fucked, really, but it certainly felt like you had been. Xavier left the room, giving you a warm smile as he exited the room. You were left in this cozy, luxurious room, alone. You tentatively sat up, feeling a bit wobbly, and you reached for the robe that had been set neatly on the bed. 

  You quickly robed yourself, and it wasn't long before Xavier returned with a new tray and sauntered over to the bed. “Here, we have tea, chamomile again, and some cakes. I wasn't sure which one you'd like, take your pick.” He set down the tray after sitting down, and gestured over to a selection of little slices. “You should definitely eat. I didn't drink much, but you need to make sure that you eat something to get your strength back.”

You reached for what looked like lemon drizzle cake, and took a bite from the slice. It was delicious.

You let out a throaty moan at the taste, and reached for the cup of tea. Xavier lifted up his own cup of tea, and took a sip.

“So, happy with the service?” He turned his head to look at you, smiling. 

  You smiled back at him, feeling your cheeks burn again, and nodded.

“That was... definitely unlike anything else I had ever experience.” You took a sip of your tea. “I'm more than happy.”

You shared that little moment together, silent save for the sound of tea being sipped and cake being eaten. You didn't mind, it was comfortable, and you had a chance to collect yourself. 

  “Would you like me to stay for a bit or are you ready to head home?” Xavier broke the silence, putting his cup down onto the tray with a clink. You sighed, and eventually put down your own cup.

“I think... that I'm ready to head home. Your company was lovely tonight and, well,” you avoided looking at him momentarily as an unprecedented wave of shyness overcame you. “I think... I would definitely like to visit again.”

Xavier smiled, and you felt your heart flutter for a moment as he leaned over and gave your hand a kiss.

“I do hope you come by again, you're delectable, pet.” He winked, before picking up the tray again and heading towards the door. “I'll be going now, I hope you have a safe trip back home and I hope to see you again, but remember, there's a mandatory 2 week wait between visits so you can recover.”

“Yes, I remember,” You nodded, and waved as he disappeared behind the door, shutting it with him.

You got up, cleaned yourself up, and dressed yourself. You left the room behind, and exited the hallway. 

  “Heyo, is that you done for tonight?” Amandine asked, smiling as you came out to the lobby.

“Yes... it was certainly an experience.” You said. You dug through your handbag for your wallet to pay up the fee, and soon you noticed how soft your body felt. “Relaxed? Xavier's a pro at what he does. If you want to make sure you get an appointment with him again, then please do phone up beforehand.” Amandine quickly shuffled some things behind the desk and brought up a small gift parcel, placing it on the counter.

“What's this?” you asked, quizically.

“All visitors get a little gift parcel. It's not much bit it's a few goodies and snacks to make sure you recover.” Amandine smiled, nudging the parcel over. “After all, there's a bit of a symbiotic relationship between us and our clients.”

You have an understanding nod and picked up the parcel, and bid your farewells.

On the way home, you felt calm, but there was a bit of a pep in your step, as you walked with confidence. That visit had definitely left a mark on you, and you made sure to write up a note on your calendar for exactly two weeks from then to set up a second visit to that handsome vampire.

[fantasia-monogram]

As the clock strikes midnight, part 1

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / epilogue

♥️ Taeyang x reader (nonbinary, female anatomy) x Jaeyoon; mentions of other SF9 members

♥️ Suggestive (~2k words); smoking, mentions of alcohol, (lightly) implied BDSM. Mutual pining. Next part is going to be NSFW (and reveal more about the characters’ history).

♥️ You’re a beast at work, having to be tough to climb up the corporate ladder, but what you never thought of is that your attitude might be intimidating to your long time crush. Luckily, your much more laid back friend is here to help... both of you.

♥️ Disclaimer: this is just for fun! I’m not claiming that’s how they are in real life, it’s just my imagination doing whatever it wants. Read at your own discretion.

“Ah, the exciting world of corporate banking.”

You were too tired to check the time, but one look over the room gave you a clear idea of what kind of stage the party has reached: vast office space, with all the desks pushed against the wall and a long table situated in the middle, was littered with barely-sober people, most of them in groups of two or three. The goal was to let coworkers of various titles and positions mingle in a casual manner, as the fairly young company’s hierarchy and employer count was expanding proportionately to its growth - friendly office culture was a staple in this place. Truth was, after a couple drinks (or, in case of some tougher individuals, whole bottles of soju), everyone would group into their regular lunch break cliques, usually within the same department.

Long gone were the days when the business was much smaller, and it was easier for people from different departments to form close bonds.

Luckily, you remembered them very well, and that’s why, as the party was dying down, you shared a (small and not very comfortable) couch with your two best colleagues: Lee Jaeyoon and Yoo Taeyang.

“Look at him. What a fighter,” Jaeyoon said with a hushed voice, pointing his almost full glass of whisky towards another corner of the spacious room. There, behind one of the squished-together desks, Quality Department leader Kim Inseong was still angrily babbling about work-related statistics to the nearly-wasted Training Supervisor, Baek Juho. The latter, with his forehead propped on his hand, kept waving at his superior to stop, as coherent words would not come out of his mouth at this point no matter how hard he tried. Inseong, incredibly professional yet warm and welcoming when sober, would do a total 180° after a single bottle of soju and turn into a snarky bastard ranting at everything going on in the company.

“Supervisor Baek is holding on strong, though,” Taeyang added in a matter-of-fact tone before taking a sip from his glass.

You couldn’t help but cover your mouth and snort with amusement.

The three of you were an unusual group. 

You all joined the company on the same day, and underwent basic training for a couple weeks. Even though Jaeyoon was close to your age, the gap between you and Taeyang was much bigger. Add their impressive height and you had to admit, it was awkward to sit between these two guys every single day. Soon enough though, your small talk during short breaks would turn more and more enjoyable, and when the last week rolled in, as the oldest one, you mustered up the courage to invite them to a nearby coffee shop. Formally, you just wanted to celebrate the end of your training stage, but honestly… You grew fond of them, so there was no harm in getting to know them better away from the workplace.

Who knew the three of you would find common ground during that fateful meeting?

“Hey… Y/n… You there?” Jaeyoon’s voice snapped you out of a trip down the memory lane.

“Yeah. What were you saying?” you asked, a bit embarrassed.

“You don’t seem to be having fun at all. I haven’t seen you around the bar even once,” Jaeyoon ranted, haphazardly shaking his glass.

“You know I don’t drink.”, you stated calmly.

“Aish… It’s a party! No need to be so strict. Am I right?”

For some reason, Jaeyoon looked towards Taeyang with a wicked grin, and you followed. The youngest one, sitting by your right side, cleared his throat theatrically.

“I’ll go get myself another one.” he mumbled, already leaving the couch.

“Don’t overdo it!” Jaeyoon yelled, then turned back to you. “You could really use some percents, though. Just saying.”

“I have an image to maintain,” you said quietly, crossing your arms against your chest.

“You dressed like it’s every other day at work, too,” your friend pointed out, “It’s just a different colour.”

You looked at him resentfully. That’s true, tailored suits were your usual look, not just because you simply didn’t like dresses or skirts. It was the easiest way to elongate your silhouette, and you were already lacking in height compared to all the higher-ups attending company meetings with you.

A powerful look was expected from the Compliance Supervisor who rose to that position in a record-breaking time and was nowhere near done career-wise. 

Besides, you had to admit, your neat suits in a whole variety of colors boosted your confidence every single day. You had all of them adjusted, so they would accentuate your figure in all the right places. Oh, all the times you and Jaeyoon would shamelessly ask poor Taeyang who’s got the best ass out of you two (“Okay, forget it. Taeyangie does,” Jaeyoon would end the competition each time, making Taeyang cringe).

"You're just jealous because I look better in red than you do," you barked, although lacking any real bite. 

"Listen, what I'm trying to say is…" Jaeyoon leaned dangerously close to your ear. "...I don't mind your uniforms, but someone over there is on the brink of losing his mind right now." 

You backed off, wide-eyed. Your friend discreetly threw a glance towards Taeyang, who just came back with his glass refilled. 

Still dumbfounded, you kept looking back and forth at each of your friends, not realizing how silly it must have looked.

"Did I miss anything?" Taeyang asked, clearly feeling something went down during his absence. 

"Yeah, I just said that maybe we should leave this remnant of a party and move somewhere else," Jaeyoon replied, looking over your shoulder at the youngest. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, but ultimately decided his idea wasn't that bad after all. 

"I don't know… Wouldn't it be rude to leave so early?" Taeyang mused. 

"Seokwoo left, like, at 9," Jaeyoon pointed out. "Way before anybody had a chance to get drunk." 

"Ah, our lovely Escalation Specialist," you sighed, talking about Kim Seokwoo, your right hand man at the Compliance Department. "You could say the party escalated too much for him."

"At nine!", the older of your friends laughed. 

“What time is it anyway?” you asked. It didn’t matter that you could just check it yourself. You were used to people doing things like this for you around this place.

Jaeyoon, who knew it very well, fished his phone out of his shirt pocket.

“Uh… Fifteen to twelve,” he announced.

Taeyang tapped your shoulder. 

"Happy early birthday," he threw casually. 

Pleasant warmth rose to your cheeks. You were just starting to smile, your eyes crinkling already, when Jaeyoon jumped in his seat, startling both of you. 

"Wait, what?!" he yelled, making a few heads turn for a second or two. 

"What kind of a friend are you, really?" Taeyang snorted dryly, "It's y/n's birthday tomorrow." 

Jaeyoon let out a sound that could best be described as a happy roar and pounced forward in an attempt to give you a bear hug. You dodged it by moving backwards, thus colliding into Taeyang's side. 

You briefly glanced at each other, awkwardly nodding as an apology, before he uttered a quick it's fine and slid further into the couch. 

"Hey, that hug was supposed to be a present!" Jaeyoon whined, recovering his dignity after the failure. 

"Thanks, but no, thanks." you retorted, staying at a safe distance.

"Okay, but now we really have to go somewhere else. This calls for a celebration!" Your overly enthusiastic companion wasn't giving up that easily.

You turned to your other friend. 

"Taeyang?"

"That's enough social interaction for today," the boy in question replied, "One more crowded place and I'll pass out on the spot." 

He was known for his introverted tendencies; even at work, he occupied a desk that was a bit further from everyone else, guaranteeing him all the peace he needed, and had only one coworker he was somewhat close to apart from you two. 

"What about we go to my place instead? I've got no alcohol, but there are plenty of leftovers for a late dinner if you're hungry," you offered instead. 

"Sounds like a plan!" Jaeyoon clasped his hands. "I'll pay for the cab." 

Taeyang bottomed out his glass. 

"Wanna go for a smoke while we wait?"

As soon as you put a cigarette in your mouth, Taeyang was there to light it. You could swear his eyes lingered on your lips, but maybe it was so late that your eyes started pulling tricks on you. 

A good five minutes passed of the three of you smoking in silence, enjoying the cool summer breeze and the sight of a nearly full moon above you. Taeyang was the first to finish, with you following. Jaeyoon was the last to end his cigarette, throwing it into the trash can nearby in a somewhat angry manner. 

"Taeyang, I can't possibly imagine a better time to tell them than now."

Both you and Taeyang turned your heads towards Jaeyoon.

"Tell what?" you posed a question, confused. 

The guys exchanged looks. After that, Taeyang averted his eyes, while Jaeyoon locked his with yours. 

"I think he should be the one to explain." Jaeyoon stated firmly. 

"It's fine," Taeyang's voice was unexpectedly weak, "I'm fine with you telling them." 

You felt your heartbeat quicken all of sudden. 

"He's head over heels for you." 

And then, it was as if your heart just stopped. No, that couldn't be. Your pretty, soft spoken dongsaeng you always had your eyes on? In love with you?

"No way." you muttered, turning to face Taeyang. He still couldn't bear to look at you. "Is that true?" 

Internally, you were screaming for him to say yes. 

Poor guy seemed like he was about to get a panic attack, breathing in and out loudly, hands balled into fists. You could see him biting his lips.

"Come on." Jaeyoon ushered, "I did the hard part for you. Now it's your turn." 

Taeyang slowly raised his gaze. His doll-like eyes were glazed over with tears - a sight so stunning it almost made you gasp. 

"It's true. It's been going on for more than two years now." His voice was quiet, but steady.

You kept staring at his gorgeous, flushed face, unable to say a word. It was a clue for him to continue. 

"I knew I had a chance. I'm not stupid. I noticed you treated me differently than Jaeyoon or any other friend at work. But I also knew your no relationships at the workplace policy and your attitude towards age gaps, and decided to keep it to myself." 

Your heart was about to burst. 

"I'm just as demanding in love as I am at work," you explained, "I'd ruin you."

Jaeyoon circled you. As soon as he stopped, he put his left hand on Taeyang's shoulder, while his right on yours. 

"Tell them," he encouraged the younger guy again. 

As if on command, there was fire burning in Taeyang's gaze. You felt it consume you as a whole.

"I'm not fragile," the boy declared, “I want to be ruined.”

You thought you were dreaming, but a squeeze of Jaeyoon’s hand on your shoulder anchored you back to reality, this reality being your crush at first sight confessing to you.

“Your confidence… How strict and relentless you are…” Taeyang went on, his voice breaking, “The tone of your voice… And your suits. Oh, your suits. It all turns me on so much.”

“What a guy,” Jaeyoon chuckled, shaking his head.

Both you and Taeyang decided to ignore him for now.

“I repeat,” Taeyang insisted, “I want to be ruined.”

Despite Jaeyoon’s continuous hold on both of you, you reached towards Taeyang’s face to caress his smooth cheeks with the back of your fingers. That was all he needed to surge forward and plant a brief, fluttering kiss on your lips that still managed to leave you with your head spinning, needing more.

“Happy birthday, y/n,” Taeyang whispered, holding his forehead against yours.

It was only then when you realized you were both breathing heavily, even though nothing had happened yet.

The moment was interrupted by the ringtone of Jaeyoon’s phone. At last, the guy ceased his hold on you to check the device.

“Okay, lovebirds, the cab is here. It’s gonna be a fun night.”

You glanced at Jaeyoon, then locked your eyes with Taeyang’s again. He reciprocated your devious smile.

(to be continued)

[usedtobe-angstyoikawa]

Mask

Zuko x reader (tea shop au)

Summary: you become friends with the two baristas from your favorite tea shop and slowly start to fall for one of them (keep in mind this takes place in the modern day, covid is still around sorry :p)

A/n: I came up with this love story kind of idea while in quarantine since where I’m from things are still pretty messy (not just because of covid but the whole country is a mess lol) so it’s hard for me to imagine love scenarios that are so different from the reality I’m currently living in. That being said, this seemed to be good enough to make my brain enjoy it while also tricking it into believing maybe it could happen to me one day (even though I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die alone :’) Anyways I was thinking of making these a series? Don’t know maybe I won’t finish it I’m too busy but I’ll give it a try

Warnings: none at lest yet

———————————————————————

Being alive during a pandemic isn’t easy, not to mention how stressing it is to be a college student as well. The combination of trying to take care of yourself while also loosing your mind and dealing with anxiety isn’t the best. The student life is already tiring on its own, but the social interaction and good fun memories that come with it makes it a little less dreadful. Of course, that is gone now too, so we’re left with only the overworking-yourself-till-your-body-gives-out part of the experience. It may sound depressing but after a bit more than a year you learn to live with it, you adapt and find new ways to relax and have fun.

That’s why you’ve been visiting the new tea shop near your house. It opened a few months ago and since you first stepped foot in the warm, inviting place you haven’t been able to go a day without their so contagious good vibes (and tea too, obviously). Well maybe you don’t visit it every single day but at least three times a week, on mondays, wednesdays and fridays to be exact. It’s become part of your routine, not only is it good because it implies spending time outside of your room but the friendly, cozy atmosphere of that place also helps you concentrate on your studies and actually get the work done. And yeah maybe having to wear a mask the whole time isn’t super comfortable but it’s worth it, at least the shops were opened again. One of your favorite things about the tea shop is the staff, from the baristas to the waiters to the owner, this last one being the first one you met. This man is incredibly sweet and is capable of lifting your mood with such simple words and a warm cup of tea. Iroh, that being his name, moved to your hometown a year before the pandemic started with no intentions of working at any shop, let alone open one. It was the arrival of his two nephews in need of a helping hand that made him come up with the best idea of his life, and the best thing that happened to you later on. You don’t really know what his relatives coming to town has to do with him opening a tea shop but he never explained, so you never asked. He is very fond of his nephews, specially the older one, a boy named Zuko. The other is a girl named Azula, which you learned is the youngest sibling even though she seems a lot more mature than her brother. Both of them work with his uncle, Zuko as a barista and Azula as the cashier, but sometimes she likes to take and prepare your orders too, just to prove she’s better at tea-making than her brother. Every time she does so you play along with it, nodding to everything she says only to then confess to Zuko that you find his tea to be better warmed than her sister’s. You’d like to say that comments like that one make him blush, but there’s no way of telling with the damned mask covering his face. This place has very strict covid prevention policies, which you are glad of cause not many shops did, so you’ve never seen their faces (or at least not the entirety of them). It’s kind of weird cause you’re pretty sure they do know what you look like since you have to take yours off every time you take a sip of your drink or a bite of your food. You only once saw Azula with her mask off, hanging from her right ear. She was outside standing next to the entrance while smoking a cigarette, she had the prettiest face you’d ever seen. But you don’t know what the faces of her brother and uncle look like, though you try to imagine it from time to time. You’re pretty sure Iroh has a beard, you can see it poking out of the sides of his mask, but what really intrigues you is his smile. He’s one of those people who are able to smile with just their eyes, so you imagine his smile is the phisical representation of happiness itself. Now Zuko’s face was harder to imagine. He wore his dark hair right in front of his eyes, kind of like grown out bangs that covered the upper part of his face. You know his eyes are of this yellowish but also hazel like color, and you’re 99% sure he has dark bags under them. But apart from that you aren’t sure what to think of his facial features, you don’t know if he has a beard or a sharp jawline, nor if his nose is pointed like his sister’s or a bit round like his uncle’s. He could have no nose at all for all you know! This types of thoughts are the ones that roam your mind while you’re trying to solve the algebra problem sitting on the book page in front of you. Maybe it’s time for your you to take a break and order another tea, you think of trying out the new matcha one Iroh added to the list last week but instead you opt for the good old jasmine tea, the old man’s favorite.

You’re surprised when you see Zuko starting on your order instead of his uncle, even though he works as a barista too he usually takes care of the food orders. It’s not that he’s bad at making tea (like his sister states), he’s only extremely good at making a few variety of them and messes up any other order completely. Bobba, black and green tee are his specialties, with oolong and herbal coming right behind them, but jasmine is one of his worst. And you’re gonna have to be the one drinking a whole cup of it. You look to your left and catch Azula’s eyes fixed on his brothers back, then they move to you and even though words aren’t coming out of her mouth you know exactly what she wants to say. Shit, good luck.

“Here you go, a jasmine tea with three sugar’s” his voice breaks your staring contest with the girl next to him and it takes you a good minute and a half to react and take the cup. You really wish you had taken a seat next to the window instead of opting for the counter, now you’ll have to try the drink while he’s standing in front of you.

You can feel Azula’s eyes burning the side of your face, you know she’s either at the verge of tears or feeling sorry for you. Before chickening out you lift the cup and bring it to your lips, letting the liquid in and swallowing. Everyone behind the counter stops, waiting for your reaction. They don’t really know what they’re expecting you to do or say, but it definitely isn’t what is currently going on in your head (and mouth).

“Oh. My. Fucking god. This is amazing.”

a/n: this wasn’t proof read so thank you for making it this far :)

[kimistorm]

Bang Chan x Reader || Dreams of Soulmates

Fandom: Stray Kids

Pairing: Bang Chan x GN! reader

Genre: Soulmate AU, Idol Chan, exchange student reader

Warnings: mentions of food

Word count: 3.1k

Something felt off when you realized you were dreaming. The flower field you were in was a comfortable, almost unnoticeable temperature, and the sun was partially covered by clouds, not enough to make it dark, but enough so you weren’t blinded by sun rays to your face. You hesitantly pinched yourself and stared down at your hands in shock when the pain didn’t register. You were definitely dreaming, especially since you had no recollection of how you got into this lush field, but you were aware of what was happening.

And then you saw him. There was another man in the field with you, looking about as bewildered as you felt. You lightly ran up to him, your white clothes brushing lightly against your body from the wind. He too was wearing a loose white shirt, with blue jeans that seemed to match the color of the sky around you. However, that wasn’t what caught your attention, it was the elegantly styled purple hair that rested atop his head. “Hi,” you tested out a little breathlessly when you were a respectable distance apart.

He started and spun around to look at you with a shocked look on his face. He evidently didn’t see nor hear you running up to him. “Hi,” he replied back with a smile, recovering from the shock quickly, “do you know what this is?” he gestured to the field surrounding you and you gave him a sheepish shrug in return.

“I was honestly hoping you knew,” you couldn’t help but look around in wonder as you voiced your thoughts, “this is the first time I’ve been here.” He let out a hum of agreeance. You continued to watch the stranger in front of you, you had never seen him before, you figured purple hair like that would cause enough of a memory for you to remember, but as you wracked your memory, nothing came up. “Are you a figment of my imagination?” you couldn’t help but ask. If this was all a dream, was he also just a dream?

His face scrunched up cutely as he thought about your question, his eyes darting around in confusion, “I don’t think so.”

You couldn’t help but laugh nervously, wherever you were, you and Mr. Stranger were both completely lost. “Well, I’m (y/n),” you held out your hand for him to shake, which he promptly did.

“Chan. Nice to meet you.” He gave you a brighter smile than before, making dimples show up on his face.

“You as well.” You gave him your own bright smile, he seemed like a good person. You thought back to what you did before bed. You finished up an assignment before flopping onto your bed to check your social media for any notifications (only to be disappointed with nothing of importance) and then falling asleep. Nothing out of the ordinary, and definitely no drugs that would’ve caused this wild dream. Could it even be called a dream by this point?

“So what do you do?” you were snapped out of your thoughts to see Chan had taken a seat in the field with his hands behind him as he leaned back comfortably. You quickly took a seat next to him, the tops of the grass hardly coming up to your elbows.

“I’m a student,” you answered honestly, “studying (your choice). Took a gap year, but I’m going to graduate soon!” you replied excitedly, the thought of being free from school brought a smile to your face, “what about you?”

Chan turned his attention to you and you took the opportunity to notice how clear his skin was. How you wished you could get clear skin like that. “I make music,” he replied with a smile.

“That’s so cool!” you couldn't help but gush in excitement. You loved listening to music, and while you entertained the idea of making your own music, the layers of vocals, harmonies, backing tracks, and the programs were all too discombobulating to you. So you were content to just listen to what other talented people could make. “What kind?”

His face quirked as he thought about it, “a variety. Mostly hip hop and rap.” You nodded eagerly and seeing your excited expression, he elaborated a bit more, “I mainly do it with 2 friends of mine, they’re amazing honestly.”

“I’m sure you’re very talented as well,” you replied reassuringly with a confident nod.

He ducked his head shyly, “how can you say that when you haven’t even heard it?”

“It takes amazing talent to know amazing talent,” you replied with a knowing grin. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he and the field suddenly vanished. Leaving you discombobulated as your hand fumbled around for your phone that was blaring at you to wake up. As you sat up in bed, trying to figure out what day of the week it was, you remembered Chan’s smiling face. That dream...it felt like more than just a dream.

                                                       ☁☁☁

Several weeks passed and your nights passed without a peep from Chan. Maybe that was just a dream. But you couldn’t help but feel something was different about that encounter. It felt more substantial than your past dreams, and you could remember every moment of the interaction, something your other dreams couldn’t come close to (if you could even remember them).

So it was to your delight when you found yourself in the field again. You quickly looked around for Chan and rushed over to him when you spotted his figure. “I thought this was all a dream,” you couldn’t help but rush out breathlessly when you got close.

His eyes widened in recognition as he smiled and you felt a warmth grow in your chest, “(y/n)! It’s you again!” his head tilted to the side cutely, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Same here,” you replied before plopping down to take a seat in the field, “so how’s life been?”

He smiled again, “it’s been good! I’ve been doing a lot of performances with my friends, it’s hard work learning the choreography,” he replied honestly with a shy look on his face, “but totally worth it.” He sighed happily as he gazed up at the sky, “I love being on the stage.”

“That sounds wonderful!” you couldn’t help but smile with him, his happiness was just contagious like that.

He turned attention back to you, “and how about you?”

“It’s been good! I think I’m finally getting the hang of Korea,” you replied with a grin as you thought about how you finally navigated the route from your dorm to the grocery store without the use of a navigation app.

His eyes widened in shock, “oh! Korea?”

You nodded and gave a hum of agreeance, “I guess I forgot to tell you, I’m studying abroad this semester, and I chose to go to South Korea!”

“How do you like it?”

You didn’t even have to think about your answer, “the food here is so good!” The other exchange students and you made it your mission to go out and eat at least three times a week, it was a pain on your wallet, but hey, you were in a new country and you were going to use every opportunity you could get.

His eyes widened in delight, “right! Korean food is so tasty.”

“Do you live in Korea?” you were nervous to ask it, but what if he did? Would you be able to meet Chan in real life? Did you even want to? You’ve only met him twice, and meeting an almost-stranger seemed pretty sketchy. Turns out you didn’t have to worry about his answer though, as you were suddenly yanked out of the dream and pulled back into reality.

You sighed, you wanted to talk to him more, but you smiled again when the image of him smiling at you popped up into your mind. There was just something soothing about his atmosphere. In the dream world, you felt safe with him, and time always seemed to fly by. You felt a blush rise to your cheeks as you recalled how his smile made your heart skip a beat, you couldn’t be falling for the man, you’ve only met him twice. Yet, even just the thought of him made you feel safe and happy.

                                                      ☁☁☁

(friend’s name) gave you a (somewhat) judging look through your phone as you recounted your dream experiences with Chan, “not gonna lie, that’s kind of weird.”

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair, “gee thanks.”

“Let me finish my thought,” (pronoun) responded with an eye roll, “it’s like, soulmate level of weird.”

You froze, then blinked. Once, twice, “you think he’s my soulmate?”

(f/n) shrugged, “I can’t think of any other reason why you’d be able to vividly remember your dreams of him.”

You couldn’t help but just stare in disbelief. You’d heard stories. Only a small percentage of the population had signs of their soulmates, you never thought you’d be part of that population though. For your entire life, you had gone with hardly a second thought about it. Your eyesight was fine, there were no markings on your body, heck, even if it was the dream world, why did it make itself known now? Why was this your first time ever setting foot in that field? “Do you think I should ask him about it?” you were nervously biting your lip, what if Chan didn’t believe in soulmates, and you bringing it up would make him hate you?

“I mean, I don’t know him, so I can’t say,” (pronoun) responded honestly, but you could see concern leaking in (pronoun) eyes, “but what can you lose?”

You looked away, “I enjoy our conversations, I could lose a friendship.”

“Or, gain a soulmate,” (f/n) wiggled (pronoun) eyebrows mischievously, “but it’s only happened twice?” you nodded as (f/n)’s tone became serious, “if you think he is your soulmate, and that he does live in Korea, you’ve got to make a move. You’ll be moving back to (home country) before you know it and the opportunity will be gone.”

You gave a firm nod, (f/n) had a point. You’d ask the next time you saw Chan.

                                                      ☁☁☁

Almost as if the world knew, that night you met Chan in the field. “Chan!” you gave him a happy wave and the two of you ran to each other.

“(y/n)!” the two of you became inches away from a hug before you froze, and he quickly did the same. “Oh, sorry,” he replied nervously and took a step back before taking a seat in the field again, just like normal. You couldn’t help but silently curse at yourself, why did you freeze? You wanted him to be your soulmate, you wanted a hug, but maybe you just made the whole situation awkward before you even asked the question you’d been worried to ask. “How you doin’?” he asked after a moment of awkward silence.

You gulped as you sat down next to him, this whole soulmate thing has been on your mind ever since (f/n) mentioned it, your mind really hasn’t been on anything else other than it. “Good, um,” you had to ask it, but you were still so nervous. Chan looked at you curiously, not pushing you to continue, but just waiting and letting you go at it on your own time, “do you believe in soulmates?”

You nervously awaited his response as he turned his attention to the sky again and thought about it, “yes.” He replied finally and you felt your heart skip another beat. He turned his attention back to you with a soft smile, “why do you bring it up?”

You wanted to shrink under his gaze, it wasn’t harsh by any means, but you suddenly felt uncertain. Maybe he didn’t feel the same pull as you. “Do you think we could be soulmates?” you couldn’t look at him as you asked the question, opting to mumble into your knees instead.

“Sorry?” he leaned closer to hear you better.

“Do you think we could be soulmates?” you repeated clearer, but still avidly averting your eyes. There was silence and you tried to will yourself into a smaller ball, wanting to disappear from the awkward atmosphere you created.

“And that we’re connected through our dreams?” Chan’s soft voice didn’t sound judgeful, instead, it sounded like he suddenly came to a realization. You looked up from your knees and saw awe settled on his face. His dark eyes met yours with a sudden passion that almost scared you, “do you go to sleep at like, normal times?”

“If you’re saying midnight, then yeah?”

Chan let out a sound that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a cry, “then that might be why I hardly ever see you.”

You tilted your head in confusion, what revelation did he make that you didn’t know about? You wanted to ask him but once again, your dream with Chan was disturbed by your alarm. You let out a groan as you turned it off. Why couldn’t you and Chan have a proper conversation?

                                                      ☁☁☁

Much to your surprise, for the second night in a row you found yourself in the field of flowers, however, that did nothing to dampen your delight when you saw Chan already pleasantly sitting in the field. “Glad to see you again so soon,” you grinned as you took a seat next to him.

He turned his dimpled smile to you, “your hunch, or maybe my hunch, either way, it was correct.” You looked at him in confusion, you had no idea what he was talking about. You mentioned soulmates the last time you met, but you didn’t know how that had anything to do with controlling when you met up in the dream world. He seemed to notice your confusion and quickly took it upon himself to explain, “I think the only time we meet is when we’re both asleep, and I’m,” he nervously shifted his gaze, “not one for sleeping before 5 am.”

You couldn’t help the cry of shock that escaped from your lips, “you need to sleep!”

He laughed, “I know, I know.” He then met your gaze with a quiet intensity that you had never seen on his face before, “but I think I’ve found a reason to go to sleep at a decent time.”

You couldn’t help the stuttering of your heart and lips as you pointed at yourself, “are you talking about me?”

“Of course I am!” he replied with a bright smile, “even though I remember these interactions vividly, I still wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.” You couldn’t help but nod in agreeance. Yes, it took you a hot second to wake up (as usual) but it never felt like you got any less sleep.

“So you live in Korea?” that seemed to be a logical conclusion, seeing as he was talking about sleeping at normal times and was so excited about Korean food, but his accent made him sound Australian, which could make sense, considering the two countries weren’t too far apart from each other.

“Yeah,” he nodded, confirming your hunch, “I’m from Australia though, and I’d like to keep my accent.”

You smiled at his comment, “cute.” You found the words spilling from your lips almost naturally. You gasped and clapped a hand to your mouth, but Chan was laughing joyfully, seemingly unperturbed by your sudden exclamation.

He stopped laughing as he looked at you, “do you, want to meet in real life?” he fiddled with the collar of his shirt nervously and turned his attention away from you again as if he was afraid of what you were going to say. You, on the other hand, was at a loss for words. He already seemed to know what you were going to say and what conclusions you were coming to without you even saying anything. Was this what it meant to be soulmates? You seemed to be on the same frequency, coming to the same conclusions and having the same experiences from the dream world. “Ah, nevermind, forget I said that.” He hurriedly took back his words after you accidentally let the silence drag on for too long.

“No wait!” your hands reached out in a panic and he looked to you curiously, “yes! Yes, I’d love to meet you in real life!”

A bright smile broke on his face, “when are you free?” he asked eagerly.

“I should be free this-” the field suddenly disappeared and you found yourself staring at your dark ceiling, “weekend.” You finished your sentence quietly before you turned to your phone. It was still early in the morning, so it wasn’t your alarm that ended the connection. You couldn’t help but feel dejected, you were so close to finding him, but something stopped you. Again.

                                                      ☁☁☁

You were in the grocery store, staring at a wall of tofu that you could throw into a pan and make a quick stir fry, but your mind kept on wandering to Chan. Was it him who broke off the connection? Or was it something else? Something more ethereal and had to do with you being soulmates? “Sorry, excuse me,” you jumped back to let the person get access to the tofu you were standing in front of. He had a bucket hat pulled over his hair and a mask on, just like everyone else, but you couldn’t help but feel your gaze was drawn to him. Something about him seemed familiar, though you couldn’t put your finger on why.

He seemed to notice your stare as he awkwardly turned to you, “can I help you with something?” you met his eyes and that’s when it hit you like a lightning bolt.

You recognized those eyes, they matched the eyes on a face you couldn’t stop thinking about. “Chan?” you let out a breathily, not believing that this was real. You pinched yourself and winced when it actually hurt this time.

“(y/n),” his eyes widened in recognition before they folded in a smile. “So we get to meet in real life anyway!”

“Wow,” you couldn’t help but say back breathlessly, “this isn’t a dream right?”

He grinned back, “I don’t think so.” He suddenly fished in his pocket for something, “what’s your phone number? This way we can talk without being dependent on our sleep schedule.” You eagerly nodded as you dug around for your own phone. You quickly exchanged numbers, and you felt giddy when you saw a simple ‘hi’ from Chan appear on your phone. “Sorry, I’ve got to run,” he apologized once you traded numbers, “but let’s talk later yeah?”

“Of course! Looking forward to it!” you couldn’t help the goofy grin on your face as he gave you a wave before rushing to wherever he had to go. You found your soulmate.

Masterlist 

[imagine-gintama]

I love all your posts! Can you please do gintoki, okita, hijikata and kamui asking someone out?

Headcanons of Gintoki, Okita, Hijikata and Kamui asking someone out.

What a cute request! ^^ I’m back from my unannounced hiatus! I took a very rigorous summer school course, but that’s finally over, so I have time to write again! Thank you for your patience!

Sakata Gintoki:

Gintoki is far from shy, in fact some would actually call him shameless. Although, the way he acts when he’s contemplating whether or not to ask his crush out may be mislabeled as timidness, it’s actually his insecurities that are holding him back.

Constantly running through his head are thoughts of whether or not he’s the one that they deserve. Gintoki is painfully aware of his shortcomings, his flaws, his poor habits, they’re what’s holding him back from asking them out.

Whenever he feels a bit courageous, those same few thoughts run through his head all over again., stopping him. Eventually, if it gets too obvious that not being with them is hurting him in turn, Kagura and Shinpachi will give Gintoki a lecture about it. Gintoki would shrug it off, but eventually he understands, and decides to give it a shot.

At first, it starts out with Gintoki extensively planning it out. He’s by no means a romantic, but hey, he’s seen his fair share of television. A walk at the park, dinner together at one of their favorite places, and then he’d walk them home is what he has in mind.

As Gintoki finds himself at their front door, Gintoki’s palms get slightly sweatier, as he feels butterflies in his stomach. “Don’t chicken out now. What are you, some high school girl?” He curses to himself. He would ultimately ignore his fears and ask them out.

Okita Sougo:

Sougo isn’t romantic at all, in fact, sometimes a few social nuances and social cues fly past him. This isn’t because he isn’t aware of them, but rather, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It was never like him to try and fit in anyways.

Just because he isn’t romantic in the sense of the word, doesn’t mean he doesn’t try when he knows he needs to. To put it simply, he has his own way of being romantic and affectionate. Asking the person he likes out is one of those times where he goes the extra mile.

Sougo doesn’t want to be the one making the first move, at least not until he’s got at least an idea of how they feel about him first. Relationships aren't a priority to him right now, so if Sougo finds out that they aren’t interested, he doesn’t want to spend useless time and effort trying to court them.

If they are interested, Sougo would find himself frequently visiting them, usually during his Shinsengumi shifts. If his shift is at the other side of Edo, he would switch with someone who has sifts near them. If they’re free, Sougo asks them to tag along, if not, Sougo would hang around where they are. Close enough that they’re in sight, but not close enough to be considered a stalker.

Once Sougo finds himself comfortable enough and ready to take the next step, he would visit outside his shifts, loitering around them. Eventually, on one of his free days, without notice, Sougo takes them somewhere homely, probably a food stand, for a light meal, where he asks them out.

Hijikata Toshirou

Hijikata is a bit of a disaster, an emotional disaster. He’s sure about how he feels towards the person he likes, however, a variety of things are constantly weighing his mind. This results in Hijikata never really deciding whether or not he wants to ask them out.

He’s not one to prioritize relationships, he’s more of the ‘married to my work’ kind of guy. Plus, with his dangerous line of work, he questions if he’s even ready for any relationships. Thus it will take a while, who knows how long, for Hijikata to be vocal about his emotions.

That doesn’t stop him from being embarrassingly obvious about his feelings though. Hijikata can’t help it, his body is honest. Redding cheeks and ears are usually a tell tale sign that the person he is pining for is nearby.

If and when Hijikata finally comes around to asking that person out, he wants to be smooth, but yet true to himself. He wants the person he likes to like him for who he is. If they don’t, well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be anyways.

Hijikata would ask them to go on a small walk with him. He’s a bit awkward at first, but he gets his act together quickly. After a while, he would just ask them out, straight to the point without any fluffy or flowery words.

Kamui

This mans isn’t clueless, he knows what love is, he doesn’t live under a rock. Its simply that Kamui didn’t expected that he would be the one to like someone.

Kamui is a man who is confident. In the sense that he wouldn’t hesitate to ask someone he liked out, because he isn’t afraid of rejection. However, Kamui doesn’t have a very good understanding of romantic relations between people in general. He never really saw it as something essential to his life.

He would likely seek help from Abuto, as Kamui views him as a person who understands human interaction better than he does. He wouldn’t know what to do with his emotions in the beginning, hence he would take it out on the battlefield to distract himself.

Courting people is still a foreign concept to Kamui, and, quite frankly, he’s found himself unsure of how he himself would act. Thoughts of them starts appearing to him while on the battlefield, that’s when he knows its more serious than he expected.

When push comes to shove, Kamui will appear nonchalant and assertive as he asks them out. His signature closed eyed smile conceals the nervousness and uncertainty behind his eyes as he waits for the answer.

[nissakii]

Is Nishinoya an ESFP? MBTI Analysis with Functions

With a height of 159cm and the number 4 on his back, our fierce libero of Karasuno has always a big presence wherever he is.

One of the manliest among the crows and with his apparent animal-like instincts he never fails to impress the people around him.

All those things are visible by simply looking at Nishinoya first hand by watching the anime or reading the manga.

But there is another thing: Nishinoya is an ESFP.

Something you cannot directly see on first glance.

ESFP?

Oh yes, for those of you who are not familiar with MBTI personality test, the MBTI personality test basically gives the tester four letters meaning you are either E or I, N or T, F or S, and lastly J or P.

Last time in our post we only covered those letters and didn’t go much deeper into the cognitive functions, we only went over the letters without making any connections to the stack.

As an supposed ESFP Nishinoya’s stack is the following: Se-Fi-Te-Ni.

Step by step we will cover each function, it’s meaning considering the position on the stack and also Nishinoya’s extroverted nature (E).

I will show you my deep analysis on Nishinoya’s personality type through my own observations until the latest season and the manga (status: season 3), showing you in detail why Nishinoya is potentially an ESFP. (Yes this is a spoiler warning.)

Let’s not wait any longer and dive into the journey of Nishinoya’s personality!

Extroversion:

Ever wondered that there are people who are either surrounded by a group or have someone else around, but you never see them alone?

That’s extroversion, the kind of person who feels the most energized and happy when they can be around others.

The E in ESFP stands for the trait that shows how someone ‘charges’ their battery, meaning if they get exhausted by spending time alone or with people. In case of an extrovert, they get easily drained when they are spending time alone and derive their energy when they are around others, seeking much more social contact to refill the battery.

And Nishinoya is just that kind of person if you observe him throughout the anime.

The very first indicator of his obvious extroversion can be seen right away when he is introduced in the series, someone who is very loud and open-minded, boldly saying anything that comes into his mind at the moment.

After Hinata talks to for the first time he shows an easy-going and open nature that seems ready to interact with even strangers. He gets easily excited as seen when Hinata called him senpai and he immediately got carried away by that offering him anything he wants in return, teaching him at any time he wants to.

Not only does he get excited over that single thing but in several other scenes you can see him as a moodmaker as he pushes away the most negative aura due to the excitement of a new opponent he can learn from or confront.

He doesn’t fear direct confrontation and speaking his mind, and even when got suspended, the others asked him how he was in such good form despite being absent. Nishinoya stated that he had trained with the neighborhood women and other people to keep his training on-going.

After returning to Karasuno and playing as a regular again, it’s seen that he casually talks to the new members as well as his upperclassmen.

Additionally Nishinoya is always standing next to someone, very close, jumps on their back or like in Tsukishima’s case even bites his shoulder despite the fact he isn’t that close to him.

A true extrovert through and through.

Dominant Se:

Our first actual function, the dominant Se.

What is Se?

Se is a perceiving function aka the S for Sensing and since we established Nishinoya is an extrovert the first function on his Stack is, to no surprise, also extraverted.

Therefore Nishinoya’s dominant function is extraverted Sensing.

What does that mean now?

Having a perceiving function as your dominant function can already say a lot how you interact with the world around you and it’s the first thing people will notice when they look at you without even having to interact with you.

Since the dominant function is the first one that develops in our functional stack it’s the strongest and the most natural one we use, meaning it’s the easiest to use.

The Se in Nishinoya’s stack being his first function represents a lot about how we perceive him as a person, it could also be seen as the function when you introduce someone and the first words you would describe a person with.

What are the first words you would describe Nishinoya with?

Probably a lot and I can tell you: all of them would fall into the Dom Se category!

Now after a long explanation let’s see what the Dom Se is actually telling us.

His dominant function tells us that Nishinoya interacts with the world directly as his relationship with the world is established through physical sensation, it relies on sensory experience meaning what is happening around me is a constant question that his subconscious is trying to answer by observing the things around him.

Stimulating experiences to get a kick of adrenaline and enjoying the world around him, taking any opportunity that comes his way as he spots them and takes advantage of them.

People with Dom Se can be described as adventurous, loud, bold, courageous, adaptable and entertaining.

They also think that actions speak more than words, does that ring a bell?

Starting with the most obvious part is his strong sense of focussing on opportunities as he brushes off worries and concerns that others might have by playing them off, especially Asahi is someone he always explains not to be a worrywart, he often scolds Asahi for whining a lot instead of properly doing something unlike some other Aces.

Another one would be wearing shirts with word plays on them, especially those which sounded manly to him, as he also is determined to become a manly man despite his height and does live by those principles to fulfill the desire of becoming what he wishes to be instead of simply saying it or pretending to.

This is not the only decision he made based on the excitement he felt, even joining Karasuno was due to the fact he liked the uniforms and wanted to wear them as he regarded them as cool and manly.

His way of intaking all the events happening is clearly shown in the anime many times.

Nishinoya never takes his eyes off whenever they are playing or watching someone, always having the people and events around him in sight.

In-game his reflexes are unmatched as seen in the first Dateko match in season one where he got the ball with his foot at the last second.

Shortly before the first Seijoh vs Karasuno match, Hinata and Nishinoya were sitting next to each other watching Oikawa serve against another team. Especially in the manga Nishinoya emphasizes his strong desire to receive one of his serves since he mentioned that in his middle-school years he heard about an extremely talented setter that had powerful serves, even though they were not that strong like the current Oikawa.

His adventurous and courageous side wanting to enjoy the challenges around him is seen here clearly. He never directly spoke to Oikawa and in the practice match he wasn’t there but immediately spotted him. He also got angry when Aone spoke to Karasuno before their first match as he still holds a small grudge against him, even though he wasn’t at the scene at that point he always looks around and spotted them talking, quickly joining in.

Nishinoya’s constant watch on what is happening around him is also shown when he receives during practice despite just arriving at the gym or training independently without anyone asking him to receive, he also looks out for his team members and has a close watch on his opponents all the time like Yaku from Nekoma who stated that people like Nishinoya who constantly watch others with the desire to grow are indeed scary.

Yet those parts also show us that Nishinoya’s Se can go into extremes that may be considered unhealthy.

We see that Nishinoya is very moody at times and his behaviour flips in an instant, which can be - in Daichi’s case f.e - very annoying and unpredictable.

Nishinoya is a serious player and we also see him being hard-working showing us that he actually cares about his team but at other times his simple curiosity and superficial mindset can cause more trouble, yet we see it rather off-court than on-court when he interacts with people.

Auxiliary Fi:

The second function on his stack: Auxiliary Fi.

The feeling side we can observe in Nishinoya without digging too deep is also due to the function being rather on the top of the stack as the second function works like a support for the dominant óne.

Fi stands for introverted Feeling which is one of the judging functions, since Nishinoya’s Dominant Se is a perceiving one the information he constantly gathers also needs processing to evaluate situations and develop a good moral judgement before rushing to things.

Therefore the Se-Fi works like that: Se intakes information that Fi is going to process and evaluate properly in order to reduce more damage and help his emotional state by not completely being too reckless.

Being the second function Nishinoya resisting his Fi would be quite hard so we can see a lot of moments he actually uses it in the anime as well.

We have different varieties were his Fi is present one would be when he sticks close to his Dom Se, his comfort zone and tries to ignore the Fi but it comes out in a way or another, which is displayed through brushing off important feelings or emotions, ignoring warning signs, the lack of understanding why some paths may be dangerous and unhealthy,looking down on those who are too earnest and avoiding responsibility by playing the victim.

While Nishinoya is earnest himself and also displays those types of behaviours rather than the beginning in the series we see those slight resists in some examples.

The first scene in which Noya appeared was showing that he broke a mop and was very angry as he lashed out due to his emotions. That very scene was due to Asahi declaring that he would stop playing which stirred him up, also showing that he stopped coming to the club as well (even without his suspension) because he just can’t play if Asahi is not around, making this decision heavily based on emotions only.

Nishinoya doesn’t need Asahi to play his position, rationally speaking and with his skill-level it wouldn’t be a problem at all to keep playing with other people instead, yet he simply was against it irrationally choosing what felt right to him as he tried to blame Asahi for the whole situation they were in.

We also see that when Asahi is overly earnest and tries his best Nishinoya tends to make fun of him or look down on him for his good-nature and soft heart which is one of Asahi’s good sides yet a weak point as well.

He doesn’t take any warnings either as he brushes them off easily one example would be when he ignored the warning that the vice-principle was coming and he still ignored that fact causing him to get suspended.

Still Nishinoya’s Fi also displayed itself in a manner that can be viewed as overindulging in Fi which means when still developing Fi and don’t knowing how to use it, Nishinoya for example can use it subconsciously in an extreme manner.

The Asahi example can be again taken for that.

Another one would be that negative feelings are kept unresolved and inhibit his judgement, one of that moments are few but in the case of season 4 we see that even Nishinoya can stop to function in his position as a Libero after meeting Atsumu Miya’s serve that made him remember how he messed up many times and how he used to fear everything at a point making him feel useless.

Nishinoya takes things too personally at times too, as he almost started a fight with Kageyama on the court when they played against Dateko in season 4 episode 6 and 7.

His first reaction was feeling attacked by Kageyama’s remark about him being in the way which was justified, after the matter being explained Nishinoya backed off but the immediate reaction showed his trait.

But most of the time, especially apart of the beginning where Nishinoya started to appear, we can clearly see him use his Fi in a healthy manner.

Nishinoya’s emotions are always authentic and he accepts emotions very well not making fun of them (in a serious way that is).

He wanted to play against Oikawa due to his respect to him and his immense development in that short time he had heard from him in middle-school, motivating him even more as he played against him.

All in all his emotions are easily spotted, genuine and he shows them openly. When he is sad or touched he easily cries, when angry he gets louder and yells at people, even when Hinata talked to him he got touched and therefore offered to help him right away, simply because Hinata said some nice words.

Especially when excited and happy he even jumps high and climbs on other people’s backs.

He is also very understanding towards mistakes and short-comings, being the first one to encourage his teammates no matter if it was a good play or a big mistake.

Even on the sidelines he is the first one to jump over and rush into a hug to congratulate the one who made a point.

His famous line “I got your backs”, also shows us his other ways of showing emotional encouragement and himself displaying his empathetic nature of thinking about others while pushing his own self-care of confidence.

Someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, that is Nishinoya Yuu.

Tertiary Te:

As his tertiary function is Te his balance consists of Fi-Te.

Even when someone with an auxiliary Fi tries to resist it or there is a lack in it, in Nishinoya’s case it being the second on his stack makes it hard so Te is the defense mechanism that comes in when Fi is in one of those mentioned states.

Te rewards the lacking Fi with a sense of competence and strength, this means the lacking Fi misuses the Te causing the person to fall into a Te loop that tries to find a short-term “solution” for deep-lying self-image or self-confidence issues.

Nishinoya is very stubborn when it comes to his own skills and competences, despite being an amazing Libero and proving that fact in every match he stills seems to be never satisfied with himself and always seeks to improve, as he does that in a very domineering way not letting anyone stop him or even gets angry and resentful when someones tries to threaten or advise him that he is fine as he is. He refuses help from others at those times and does what he believes his right, as long as he sees he is competent enough to reach his goal his Te rewards his Fi with that false sense of strength to make him more confident about himself for the time-being than he actually is.

When he tells himself that he can do a certain thing for sure and obsessively emphasizes that even when he is in a monologue it is mostly to negative emotions, f.e when he fails to get receives several times or especially when he is not confident.

In season 4 we also see him almost not doing an overhand receive because it was the more secure way despite Nishinoya clearly trained to do exactly that receive especially when it came to jump floaters after experiencing Hanamaki doing it in the game of season 2.

His negative emotions mostly are buried behind a facade of I got your back, I am sure I can get any receive and many other words that should express his power.

Since we saw in the manga part and anime in season one, in the first practice match against Nekoma that Nishinoya praised Yaku for his skills but didn’t recognize his own, Yaku mentioned that Nishinoya probably doesn’t even see it himself. It shows that Nishinoya might be aware he is not confident but subconsciously expresses confident manners when in a loop.

Inferior Ni:

Ni, the last one on Nishinoya’s stack and it’s also the function that could be considered the least developed one out of the four.

While Ni is there to learn about intuitive connections it’s there to encourage yourself to nurture the inner world and reflect on the things happening around you, as well as connecting them into a context so you can fill the unknown in yourself. It also provides the imagination of idealistic ideas and envisioning the future ahead of you all that is part of introverted Intuition.

Yet in Nishinoya’s case Ni is his last function on the stack, it means he is more prone to resist and ignore his NI, especially when his Dom Se is going to extremes, this can cause the ignored Ni to become louder and louder when the problems caused by the former and it even can be threatening over time.

And that’s where Ni grip comes in, it unconsciously tries to compensate for the lack of the Se or Se extremes, but since the Ni usually is still underdeveloped it doesn’t turn out well and then the so-called grip happens.

The grip can be described when people would say this isn’t like you at all since usually the one exhibiting the grip behaviour isn’t even aware of that fact.

Nishinoya in Ni grip would be almost the opposite of what he almost is.

Hard to believe that the upbeat Nishinoya could be anything but loud and excited?

Well very wrong, in season four we actually see Nishinoya in his best Ni-grip behaviour.

Where do you ask?

Atsumu Miya standing on the other side of the court.

Yes, Nishinoya may be really excited and loves the challenge but especially in the course of the match we see him being quite different than we usually know him and see a whole different side of him.

It’s almost as if he was isolating himself while he felt trapped, felt very gloomy, frustrated, helpless, unassured and doubtful which are all signs of Ni grip.

He was doubting himself over and over and panicked about not being able to move, totally frozen and paraylzed by fear.

It’s as if the Nishinoya who said I got your back was a whole other being in that moment, his calm and contemplating nature about all the mistakes he could make by getting targeted and not being able to even move for Atsumu’s serves started in entire flashback about how he used to fear everything in his life.

He himself explained he moved on from that point where he was scared and after a long time admitted he was scared yet again like he used too as he indirectly questioned his confidence, abilities and his own value.

Usually Nishinoya who might be stubborn when it comes to advice or help but still accepts that he has Daichi and the others next to him, felt totally alone and trapped in that situation, closed-off and being able to reach out if it wasn’t for Kinoshita getting him out of that wrecked thought-process.

But Nishinoya himself questioned if this is all he could do, if this is the so-called Libero he should be and was almost freaking out by not being able to do anything due to he fear that overcame him,

It was a rare moment but that vulnerable, deep in thought Nishinoya who was unusually quiet and almost going crazy due to his inability seeking much more in that moment - That’s also part of Nishinoya but only the part that comes up when he is at his lowest.

As we understand now we surely can say, it was a moment where Nishinoya’s inferior Ni worked against him in a stressed situation, seeing it not being as developed as it should be but since it’s his inferior function around his age it’s quite normal for him to subconsciously misuse it to compensate for his Se extremes.

Conclusion:

Nishinoya is the very depiction of an ESFP as he embodies all the traits that his functions should represent. His personality type that is called the entertainer fits his fierce and energized nature, unpredictable of what he is going to do next.

With his short height yet big presence, he always stands in the spotlight as his amazing skills, loud voice and strong personality overshadow his much taller allies and opponents.

Even his flashy way of talking, his hairstyle and confidence Nishinoya earns the title of an ESFP.

Never getting tired of what is possible and what has to come, and never stopping to explore much more to what is there in the world.

Can you agree or do you see other traits in Nishinoya?

Write it down in the comments!

Until next time, rushing for my tea with a rolling thuuunder!

Makii

[daydream-ideas]

The Shadows

I’m not sure if this an actual real life concept, as yet again, I have not done any research, but I saw it in a few manhwa’s and stole it for my paracosm hahaha. 

The Emperor’s Shadows. 

People who are tasked with following and protecting the emperor in secret, away from the eyes of anyone who might be watching, even the emperor’s own knights and average guards. They’re useful for protection when the emperor has to go somewhere discreetly and the addition of knights would give away too much, plus, they can be sent on errands to gather intel as spies. 

Lyr gathers up all the assassins who previously worked for the king of Misian (though the king said that he ‘owned’ them) who Lyr usurped the throne from and makes them into his Shadows, having them be spies rather than assassins as they previously were, since the skillset is rather similar (having to be stealthy, etc.) but I still just refer to them as assassins anyway.

—

warnings for: torture, conditioning, assassins (wow shocker), war mention, human experimentation, drugs, addiction, slavery, forced labor

Silas  – the first assassin

He was the best of the five, and the one sent to kill Lyr when he first claimed the throne of his home kingdom, Avimier. Lyr defeated him (which honestly was just kind of luck and Lyr’s paranoia since he’d just gone through a coup at the hands of his knights, so he was really on edge, but Silas is super good at fighting) and had him sent to the dungeons, where he pretty much forgot about him for the next couple of years lol. When he sentences Silas to be imprisoned, he tells his guards to “find out who sent him” which, given the history of Avimier’s past monarchs who were typically cruel, the guards interpreted the order as “torture the assassin until he reveals who sent him” which Lyr does not consider at all (he’s new to this and doesn’t yet know how things work) and that’s how Lyr accidentally had a man tortured 😬 

He later releases Silas when he discovers what’s been done to him in the dungeons, but this isn’t until after the war with the Sylnera’ti kingdom which occurs much later in the timeline (it’s the third kingdom he conquers) and the king who sent Silas (the Misian king) is already dead. 

The Misian king (he doesn’t deserve a name) tortured all his assassins so he could condition them to follow him as living weapons and nothing else, and as a result, Silas had shut off any part of himself that could feel emotion as a way to survive, long before he ever even met Lyr. Due to his past conditioning, him hearing Lyr’s name during the vicious torture he endured in the dungeons, it rewired his brain to be absolutely loyal to Lyr as his king, rather than as a target. 

This is something that brings great discomfort to Lyr when he finds out because it’s not like this is something he wanted to have happen, even if it does technically benefit him. It’s also not something I was planning on sharing here? because it is super fucked up and Lyr is still my precious bean even if he did something like this, but yeah, there’s that. 

Silas has long white / silver hair and grey eyes that hold no emotion. He’s the most anti-social para of the whole cosm and prefers to skulk in the library rather than interact with anyone. People also don’t like being around him as even his presence unnerves them — they don’t even know he’s an assassin, it’s just that monotone, expressionless way about him that creeps them out. He likes to nap in odd places that aren’t meant for sleeping. 

—

Casimir – the second assassin

Given a less dramatic backstory than Silas, as the remaining assassins all dispersed from the Misian castle after Lyr usurped the throne, going their separate ways to try and hide out while making a life for themselves — not that it was really much of a life. 

Casimir had it the best out of all the assassins being that he was remarkably average. He was still tortured by the Misian king just as the rest of them were, but didn’t garner any unwanted attention for being the best or worst. 

After leaving the castle, he joined a band of mercenaries and used his skills to complete jobs and earn a little bit of money, and for once feeling a semblance of freedom, though he was still bound by the anger and bitterness of his past. 

He was the easiest to find when Lyr went looking, as he wasn’t really being inconspicuous, though he was not happy to see another royal. Lyr, being a supreme idiot who wanted to gain Casimir’s trust so that the assassin would come back to the castle with him, allowed Casimir to take out his anger on him without fighting back (well, it’s the trust thing and also a bit of Lyr’s guilt complex but we’re not gonna get into that) and so this just, did not go very well with Alex, Lyr’s personal guard. The two still don’t get along. 

Casimir did end up joining Lyr, but is also now filled with guilt about how he treated Lyr because Lyr is nice to him unlike the Misian king, though Casimir would never admit to any of this and just takes to deliberately annoying Lyr to cover up how much he wants to apologize for what happened. (me: smh, why are you like this.) 

He develops a taste for the finer things in life after going back to the castle with Lyr, as Lyr starts giving him a stipend for his work (which the Misian king never did) as well as actually decent meals (which he also never got) and so Casimir is overwhelmed with guilt, kindness, and nice fancy things he has no idea what to do with. 

—

Ghislaine – the third assassin

contrary to Casimir, this one had it the worst out of all the assassins. He was the worst at being an assassin, and the most rebellious during the ‘conditioning’ stage, and generally disliked by the Misian king the most, which lead to a whole variety of unpleasantness. 

He was tortured even more than all the other assassins, which left him with hundreds of tiny, meticulously cut scars all across his hands, arms, face, and chest. The Misian king also decided to try and ‘enhance’ Ghislaine’s abilities by experimenting on him to try and make him a SUPER ASSASSIN which notably, didn’t work out so well. 

Because of the experiments, Ghislaine now survives on this custom-made drug which damages him and keeps him alive in equal measure — he needs to take it or else he’ll die, but it’s also getting him addicted and giving him terrible side-effects that cause him great pain. He takes as much of the serum as he can when he escapes the castle when Lyr usurps the throne, but he still runs out of it some months later and has to break into the castle to try and get more. This is when he meets Lyr, as he’s captured while trying to steal the serum. It’s early winter, just before the big snows but at the point when things are starting to frost, and Lyr can see how withered Ghislaine has become. 

He’s been living on the streets as no one will take him in—whether at an inn or for a job, because no one wants to look at him because of his scars. They’re very apparent and impossible to hide, so they make it hard for him to go anywhere without being chased off, so he ends up on the streets. 

Lyr makes him a deal that he’ll let Ghislaine have the serum and will have his potions man try and engineer something that doesn’t cause as much damage to his body, if Ghislaine will stay and serve him. Ghislaine doesn’t want to serve another royal after what happened to him at the hands of the last one, but he also knows he can’t stay out on the streets during winter, and needs that serum to survive. 

He’s also my favorite of the five ❤

—

Devere – fourth assassin

This one I know the least about since I haven’t really daydreamed with him too much, but he’s a good boi. He leaves the castle and goes to the coast to work on a ship, even though he’s really not suited for it or good at it. He’s constantly harassed, teased, mocked, bullied, and beaten by the other sailors and shipworkers, but he prefers that to everything he went through in the castle. His soul is slowly dying like this, but he pushes away the feeling because he knows it could be so much worse. 

He’s the most reticent of all the assassins when Lyr comes to try and retrieve him, so it takes a lot of negotiation in order to get him to go back to the castle. He doesn’t try to harm Lyr like Casimir did, taking out his anger and bitterness on a figurehead, rather, he just shuts down and tries to ignore them like he’s trying to ignore his own trauma.

—

Zev – fifth assassin

He’s the last acquired assassin due to being the hardest to get to. He’s not even in the empire, but in the kingdom of Inscitus, which is ruled by a king who’s not actively at war with Lyr, but the two still don’t have a good relationship because of reasons.

Zev was sent away to the salt mines of Inscitus by the Misian king, before Lyr usurped the throne, where he was imprisoned and forced to mine as basically a slave for several years. He’s gaunt and thin and sickly when Lyr finds him, and since Emperor!Lyr can’t just go and ask another kingdom for a prisoner without raising suspicions or endangering relations, it’s time for Servant!Lyr to do a prison break with a very willful assassin.

Lyr, Alex, and Silas rescue Zev from the mines and escape the kingdom, having to travel back to the castle on a small wagon through the forest with an angry, sick man who didn’t even make it to death’s doorstep, he passed out on death’s front lawn.

Probs my second favorite of the five right now

 —

[krabjoons]

book it [knj]

⮕ summary: back to school shopping. two people. one book. what could go wrong? a lot of things, actually. but then again, some things could also go right.

⮕ pairing: kim namjoon x reader

⮕ genre: fluff, crack, angst, bookstore!au, college!au, a condensed version of enemies to lovers

⮕ word count: 3.9k

⮕ rating: pg-13

⮕ warnings: mild cursing, the slightest references to what happens at a frat party

⮕ a/n: okay first things first, aAAAHHHH dynamite came out! and it’s an absolute bop (and record breaker)! so i decided to post my very first piece of writing in celebration. and also, because it’s that time of year again, you know, back to school season (yay? idk), i decided to use that as the theme to this drabble. hope you guys enjoy! :-D

p.s. if you wanna talk to bookstore!namjoon or bookstore!y/n, feel free to do so here!

okay so

maybe it wasn’t exactly the best idea you’ve had to go back to school shopping literally ONE week before school starts

you can’t help it! you’ve just naturally been a procrastinator. there’s nothing you can do about it

well, there actually are lots of things you can do about it, but you’ll get to it later (haha, get it?)

anYWAYS

you’ve finished all of your supply shopping and almost all of your book shopping

keyword being almost

you would’ve got everything except barnes and noble didn’t have one of your textbooks

hoW?!?! isn’t barnes and noble a giant bookstore retail chain? how can they have literally every book you can think of exCEPT the very one you need?!?!

and you’ve gone to other bookstores too but they don’t have your book either

today is just not your day

so you’ve decided to take a look at one more place before you have to turn to the online edition of your textbook

which really isn’t ideal because after two minutes you’ll probably “accidentally” end up scrolling endlessly through your instagram feed

so in short, if you want to pass this course, you really, really need this textbook. like, a lot

you pull up to a cute little bookstore, nestled in between a starbucks and a barber shop

Pied Piper Books, it reads. cute.

you push the door open and are immediately welcomed with the smell of warm vanilla. bells on top of the door jingle to alert the (cute) guy at the front desk to your presence

“hi! welcome to pied piper books. i’m jimin, how can i help you today?” he asks with a grin, eyes shifting into happy crescents

“hey, i’m y/n. i was looking for a psychology textbook. um, this one?” you say, holding out your phone to show him the title of the book on your phone

he squints at the screen before nodding eagerly

“oh yeah! there’s a whole rack of psychology textbooks in the back,” jimin exclaims, “you should be able to find it there”

you thank him profusely before strolling to the back of the bookstore, taking in everything around you. there are books of all kinds: nonfiction, historical fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, and more! it’s incredible how this cozy little bookstore has enough variety of books to rival the last barnes and noble you went to

“ah! here it is!” you exclaim when you finally see your textbook in the middle of the shelf

what luck! it’s the last one there, too. you reach your hand out to grab it when, suddenly, another hand bumps into yours

“oh, shoot, sorry!” you hear a smooth, low voice say

you turn to look at who the owner of the voice is and you have to physically concentrate on keeping your jaw from hitting the floor

in front of you is one of the most attractive men you have ever seen in your life

actually, scratch that

in front of you is possibly the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life

he's got honey colored skin and black hair. his burnt umber colored eyes twinkle with the lights of the bookstore. his lips, very plump (and kissable), are forming into a smile

he's smiling at you! 

wait- why does that smile look kind of weird?

now that you're getting back to your senses, you realize he's giving you one of those tight-lipped smiles, not a genuine one. and his hand is slowly tightening on the book you have your hands on as well

"um," you're not sure how to phrase this because:

1) there's a vERY handsome guy nearly holding your hand

2) said guy isn't looking very fondly upon you right now

3) he's trying to take the boOK YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ALL DAY

so as much as you would like this hunk to see you in a positive light, you would like to pass your psych course a lot more

"i, uh, i really need this book. like, a lot. for a course? that i need to pass. yeah. so this book is gonna help me pass. and i need it. a lot. yup," you blabber

what? it's not your fault this (very attractive) guy is making you all flustered

he nods slowly and smirks, making heat rush to your cheeks

"that sounds really fun," he drawls. "but i need this book too. i mean, isn't it fascinating how the human mind works? i'd love to read this book, especially once i get out of class."

is he being serious right now? he's got to be kidding… right? no sane human being just reads a textbook for fun

"oh, yeah. very funny. but out of all the other textbooks here, why choose this one?" you say, rolling your eyes, attempting to yank the book to your chest

unfortunately, you're not as strong as you hoped because Textbook Boy didn't seem to budge at all

that's when you see his arms

long story short, they're very attractive. and his hands, too. are those rings you see? um, is it getting hot in here?

gulping, you add on, "plus, what kind of lame person chooses to read a textbook instead of, i don't know, an actual book?" keeping your eyes trained on his hands holding the book, inches aways from yours

he chuckles. "wow," he remarks as you finally look into his eyes, "do you not know what sarcasm is? of course i'd rather read something carl jung has written over whatever pearson has published here. i need this for my psychology class too, sherlock," he shakes the book that the two of you are holding

did he just insult you? of cOURSE you know what sarcasm is. you're the queen of sarcasm. novices tremble in your wake. who does this guy think he is?

"well, i'm not going to just give up this textbook. i spent all day looking for it! can't you just go somewhere else?" you groan out, running your free hand through your hair in frustration. you miss the way that his face softens for a second before returning back to its original determined appearance

"sorry, but as much as you need this textbook, i do too. i have class next week and-" he begins before you cut him off

"wait, do you go to seoul national university?" you ask, to which he nods uneasily. if he ends up wrenching the textbook out of your hands sometime later today (because it doesn't look like you're going to let go of it anytime soon with the death grip you've got on it right now), you're not going to follow him back to his dorm and kill him just to get a textbook, are you?

he didn't think you were mental upon first glance, but now he's starting to change his mind. maybe going on another long search in other stores for the textbook (that he'll probably have to end up purchasing online anyway) is worth it if he comes out alive at the end of the school year

"oh, cool! i go there too. so do you have professor lee for psych, then? i have him. i'm so glad he didn't give us summer work. like other professors i have assigned so much stuff for us to do. i'm happy that-" you start rambling again, making the guy smile and shake his head

"yeah, i have professor lee. and i also need this book," he lamely tugs at it again. you pout and are about to say something when someone interrupts him

"well, well, well. what do we have here?" jimin saunters over, taking note of Textbook Boy and you. specifically your guys' hands and how close together they are

“i came over because i thought i heard some yelling. but you two look, um, busy right now. glad to see you resolved any issues,” he teases after seeing the two of your flushed faces

“no, jimin, we actually do have a problem-” Textbook Boy begins before getting cut off by jimin

"you know namjoon, when you asked me for a book, i didn't know you were also meeting your lady friend here,” jimin interjects, wiggling his eyebrows at you teasingly, making you even more embarrassed than before

so his name is namjoon

wait, as in kim namjoon?!

like THE kim namjoon?!?!?!

you’ve heard a lot about him before but never seen him in person yet. (what? is it really that bad of a thing that you prefer binge-watching netflix over social interaction?)

he’s one of the most popular guys on SNU’s campus. the guy that everyone swoons over, boys and girls alike. beauty, brains, and brawns, kim namjoon’s got it all. the perfect friend group, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect life. he’s got everything

well, almost everything. just not this textbook, and you’ll be darned if you go down without a fight

“okay, wait. there’s been a misunderstanding. i’m not his lady friend. i need this textbook for my psych class. like right now,” you explain

so let’s think

if you just yank the book out of namjoon’s hands, run through the aisle and dodge jimin (who might side with namjoon because you’ve heard they’re in the same frat), the book could be yours. if you’re lucky, you can run up to the front desk and see if anyone else is there so you can pay and leave before namjoon and jimin catch up to you

taking in a deep breath, you decide to bring your plan into fruition

namjoon's talking right now: "jimin, you know how much i need this book, man. come on, man. i mean, we're bros. who helped you pass midterms last year? me, right?"

great, now's your chance!

you yank the book to your chest and start to run, when all of a sudden-

"hey, wha- oOF!" namjoon exclaims as you try to run away from him, suddenly tightening his grip on the book, but it's too late. the tug you gave on it sends him flying into you

“what the- OW!” the two of you begin to drop to the ground. bracing yourself for the fall, you close your eyes in anticipation and land with a thud, book clutched to your chest, and back on the ground. not the most comfortable fall, but definitely better than face planting

when you open your eyes, you nearly shriek

positioned right above you, staring into your eyes with a dazed look, is namjoon

you’re under him. like, not even in a frat party or anything! in the middle of a bookstore out of all places!

eyes widening, you push him off of you, quickly scrambling away and look at jimin sheepishly, who watched the whole ordeal go down. if you were embarrassed at being caught holding the same book, you’re downright mortified right now and ready to crawl into the nearest hole

“okAY! so uh, i’ll leave you two to whatever it is you guys are doing. uh, but just hold in all your desires till you guys get home. this is a public space, after all.” jimin teases, eyebrows raised and inching slowly to the front desk where he wouldn’t have to see whatever the two of you would do next

it’s strange, jimin thinks to himself. namjoon’s never mentioned a girl to their frat before, but here he is, cozying up to y/n. weird. he shakes his head with a soft smile and continues on his way

oh no

so now you’re back to square one

alone with namjoon

and the textbook

did you forget to mention that you’re alone with namjoon?

it was much easier when you didn’t know who he was and could talk smack in front of him, but now? now you’re a lot more nervous

because you fought with THE kim namjoon over a textbook. SNU’s kim namjoon. and then you essentially pulled him on top of you in front of his friend. and on top of that, you still haven’t got your book yet

who knows? if jimin and namjoon are friends that could mean namjoon gets a preference, and thus, the textbook. they could make fun of you afterwards and you’d be forever known as the lunatic who tried to seduce namjoon to get a textbook. ouch. not a pretty picture.

for the first time, things are starting to look bleak

“uh, so we can totally pretend that didn’t happen. no worries,” namjoon chuckles, scratching the back of his neck in a combination of nervousness, embarrassment, and shyness. you can now see his dimples, which means he’s probably giving you a genuine smile, but you still can’t help but feel bad

tucking your knees into your chest and placing your chin on top of them, you whisper out, “i’m sorry.”

you squeeze your eyes shut and continue, “i really shouldn’t have done that. i didn’t mean to make you fall.  like i just- i’ve been looking for this book everywhere, you know? and when i just found it, i guess i got way too excited. by the way, i didn’t mean to offend you with whatever i said. it’s just, you know that i have a tendency to- “

“ramble, i know. really, y/n you’re fine. i get it. i’ve been freaking out over this book too,” namjoon consoles you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “don’t be too hard on yourself, okay?”

you nod weakly

“hey,” he continues, “how about this? we share the book instead. we anyway both have professor lee, so this method could be easier, you know? plus, we can share notes too.”

regaining your senses, you snort, “no offense joon, but i barely know you. it’s cool if we share things, but let’s start small and just share class. i don’t know how much of you i can tolerate.”

you meant for that to be a joke. can he tell? oh god, that was not good timing. you were literally having a breakdown a couple minutes ago. does namjoon have the same sense of humor as you? does he even have a sense of humor?

“for your information, yes i do have a sense of humor. you were thinking out loud by the way,” namjoon mentions dryly when you look at him in confusion. “and ‘joon’? we’re making nicknames for each other already, baby? i thought we’d wait till at least the second date. are we counting this one as our first?” okay, so now he’s pulling your leg

wait, kind of literally

his hand (the one that was around your shoulders at first) is now resting at his side. and because the two of you are sitting against a bookshelf next to each other, it’s now slightly brushing against your thigh

you stare in shock. THE kim namjoon touching you??!?! not sure if this is a blessing or a curse

“oh shit, sorry. my bad,” he finally notices after following your line of vision after seeing you gape at your legs.

great, now you’re going to think that he’s a creep! just because he’s popular on campus and in a frat doesn’t mean he likes to spend his free time feeling up girls

plus, he wants to make a good impression on you, as crazy as it sounds. he’s heard about you before, and you’re one of the smartest people on campus, staying holed up in your dorm to study rather than go to a party

(he doesn’t know about your crippling netflix addiction that you disguise immaculately. no one does, thankfully)

plus, you’re pretty and, although he would never admit it to your face, funny

anYWAYS

so what if he has a teeny-weensy crush on you? it’s not even that big of one. it’s so tiny. the smallest. not even there

yup

namjoon doesn’t have a crush on you

spoiler alert: he’s wrong about that

and you definitely don’t have a crush on him either

spoiler alert: he’s wrong about that too

so the reason why his heart skips a beat whenever you make eye contact with him is definitely a coincidence and not because he has a crush on you

right?

spoiler alert, again: wrong

he clears his throat, “sorry, you can have the book. i’ll just buy it online, i guess”

you pout and start to argue because you still feel a bit guilty, but he stands up and offers you a hand, which you look at hesitantly but still take

“you’re not gonna like, pull a WWE superstar move on me are you?” you joke

“who says i won’t?” he smirks at you, while pulling you up closer toward him

the sound of footsteps round the corner, probably jimin, and the two of you break apart before anyone can catch the two of you in another compromising position

an excited voice exclaims, “goOD NEW GUYS! i found an extra copy in the back! wow, i mean, that’s SUCH a coincidence! what great news!” jimin waves a textbook in his hands with a big grin on his face. a little too big of a grin, if you’re being honest

“i DEFINITELY didn’t know that we have extra copies in the back at all times! wow! isn’t this awesome?” he continues

is he JOKING?!??! you know you did NOT just spend this much time fighting for a book you could have had the entire time. and you definitely know that you did not spend a solid fraction of it embarrassing yourself in front of kim namjoon

speaking of namjoon

he doesn’t look so happy with jimin either. his jaw is now clenched and arms are crossed intimidatingly. he glowers at his friend and raises an eyebrow.

wait… that’s kind of hot. if you’re being honest, it’s really hot

"jimin, you're shit at lying, you know?” he says, “what was the real reason you didn’t give us the extra copy ahead of time?”

should jimin tell you guys the truth? well, a part of it wouldn’t hurt. he can already tell the two of you like each other based on your body language and thought leaving the two of you alone would help you two get even closer

he laughs, “no i literally forgot for like the entire beginning of your little argument and then i thought it would be fun to see how it pans out.” the smile on his face turns to a slight grimace as he sees the two of your unamused faces

you turn to namjoon, wondering if he’s thinking of getting “revenge” on jimin like you are. still keeping his eyes trained on jimin, he nods imperceptibly as if the two of you had communicated telepathically

“well, jimin, you did get us to agree. unfortunately, it’s not about the thing you want.” you say in what you hope is an intimidating manner. thankfully, namjoon adds more oomph to your words by cracking his knuckles

“okay, great! while you do that, i’m going to be at the front desk, ready to ring you guys up. you know, actually doing my job? have fun, you two! try to come up with something original and scary if you’re getting your so-called ‘revenge’, won’t you?” jimin grins and ambles off

oh my god, why is he so carefree? it’s lowkey frustrating

when the two of you are alone once again, namjoon turns to you, a question at the tip of his tongue

“so are we gonna beat his ass or what?”

you shake your head and furrow your eyebrows (namjoon finds it endearing that you’re serious about teaching jimin a lesson but he’ll never tell you)

“no, we have to think something out and be clever about it. plus, physical violence isn’t exactly my forte.”

“that’s fine,” namjoon replies, checking the time on his watch. “but it’s getting kind of late right now and i have to get some stuff ready for my frat.” seeing your face fall he adds, “let’s meet up sometime soon though, okay? how about we meet up at the starbucks next door later?”

is this his way of asking you out on a date? you’re kind of in shock at the idea

nonono, don’t overthink it y/n, it’s a casual meetup. casual.

namjoon doesn’t like you! you don’t like him… that much

it’s fine!

“oh! can i have your number then? it’ll be easier for us to communicate,” he adds on, feeling slightly nervous. which is kind of weird because pretty much all other girls on campus would flip their shit if he asked that and say yes without hesitating. but then again, they also don’t accidentally pull him on top of them in the back of a bookstore

who knows? you could say no

“sure,” you stammer out, still in surprise. namjoon hands you his phone to fill out your contact information and you save your name as “y/n :-D”

he lets out a little chuckle at that, simply saying, “cute,” and you swear you can hear your heart combust

the two of you head to the checkout counter, where jimin smiles knowingly at you two

“i’ll be expecting something extraordinary from you nerds,” he teases, to which the two of you roll your eyes

“i’ll catch you later, okay?” you tell namjoon while heading out the door, to which he nods with a dimpled smile. “and thanks for nothing jimin!” you call out, waving at him sarcastically

“you got the book in the end so be grateful!” jimin yells back

before the door completely closes, you hear namjoon threaten jimin, “once we get back to the house, i’m going to beat your ass for real,” to which jimin responds lazily with “sure, but you’ll be thanking me when the two of you start dating.”

you bite your lip to stop laughing. when you open your car door and look down when you see that someone has texted you

from unknown number: well today was certainly interesting… does meeting next week at 3 work for u?

from unknown number: shoot, sorry i forgot to say my name lol. this is namjoon btw

smiling down at your phone, you type back a response

to namjoon: sure! sounds great! c u then :)

you jump in surprise when you hear a noise come from inside the bookstore which seems to be jimin’s voice

“DUDE LOOK, SHE SAID YES!!! SHE’S TOTALLY INTO YOU!”

wow, he’s surprisingly loud. and accurate, too? are you that obvious about your crushes?

“NOW’S YOUR CHANCE, ASK HER IF THIS IS AN OFFICIAL DATE!”

well, it could be your chance too

smirking, you quickly type back a response before namjoon can say anything

you hope you said the right thing

to namjoon: it can be an official date if you want it to be one ;) i know i’d like it that way

setting your phone down, you let out a deep breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding and get into your car

slowly pulling out of the parking lot, you sneak a quick glance into the window of the bookstore and see namjoon staring at his phone in shock with an open mouth and jimin standing next to him, eagerly looking at the screen

jimin catches your eye through the window and winks at you with a smile

okay

so did you say the right thing? fingers crossed you did

your phone buzzes again, indicating someone has texted you (hopefully it’s namjoon)

a big smile breaks out on your face once you pick up your phone

from namjoon: i like the way u think ;)

from namjoon: so it’s on then? an ACTUAL date next week at 3? we can decide on how we’re gonna mess with jimin later lmao

yeah

you definitely said the right thing

[wr173r-8l0ck]

What if My Hero Academia Characters were in the Riordanverse pt. 1: Students

Yeah, yeah, this is just MHA students for now, I’ll have other characters soon, okay! Anyway, here’s MHA students of 1A and 1B (including Shinso) as demigods in the Riordanverse!

Yuga Aoyama: Son of Aphrodite. Not even a good one, unless you need someone blinded by his glitter-gun. Oh yeah, he has a glitter gun with lasers for maximum flare. Is he completely over-the-top? Absolutely. But is he good in a fight? Surprisingly, yes, kind of very, turns out glitter confuses monsters very well.

Mina Ashido: Daughter of Hermes and legacy of Hecate, capable of inhuman movements and can produce a slime that magically dissolves anything. She also tattooed her eyes black and yellow for some weird masochistic reason that no one, including herself, doesn’t understand. She’s still neat though.

Tsuyu Asui: She’s a frog-turned-human by Ochako. She still has her tongue, leaps, hops, camouflage, a reversible stomach and poison that can kill a group of whales. And he can still inflate her throat like a balloon, which makes for good scares. Very good scares…

Tenya Iida: Son of Mercury, he never skips leg day. Never. Seriously, have you seen those legs? He could crush a car with those puppies! Or crush monster heads with those thunder thighs! Which he actually does quite often. He doesn’t skimp out on upper body exercises either, but LOOK AT THOSE LEGS OF THUNDER!

Ochako Uraraka: Daughter of Hecate, she specializes in a set of spells that manipulate an individual object’s or being’s gravitational pull. It’s gotten to the point where she makes anything she touches with five fingers on one hand, it will float, no matter what, which is why she wears gloves all the time. She likes floating whoever she finds particularly annoying way up into the sky.

Mashirao Ojiro: Son of Mars, he’s an expert martial artist and very, very good at multiple of them. He’s lost multiple sparring partners because of his profinity with a number of weapons, and his lethality without any weapons. Seriously, he once defeated a Drakon with his bare hands! And another dead drakon’s teeth!

Denki Kaminari: Legacy of Zeus and Apollo, each by about 50 generations. About as bright as his godly ancestors (not very), but he still makes one Hel of a lightning bolt, and he’s also pretty good with a guitar and lyre. And classical literature and culture, like Apollo’s Kettle, who taught him all that?!

Eijiro Kirishima: Son/creation of Vulcan, his blood and skin are pure liquid gold, bronze and diamond he can infinitely harden for a period of time. It also obtains unnaturally sharp edges, and given his tendency to go hard when excited, he has made his friends frequent the infirmary for cuts and broken ribs.

Koji Koda: Son of Actaedon, he can talk with wildlife. He’s also a Legacy of Heracles, hence his size. His hugs are nice, war and gentle. Unless you’re an enemy, his bear hugs can break spines and it’s fucking terrifying.

Rikido Sato: Son of Mars, this guy has a serious sweet tooth. He’s also surprisingly gentle for a guy that can decimate an opponent with a single hit. Oh yeah, he can one-shot a hellhound with one punch (que the epic op) to the head.

Mezo Shoji: Son of Ares, he’s surprisingly level-headed. And malicious. Seriously, this guy always has at least ten different weapons on him, on top of him knowing a variety of potentially lethal moves. His arms are known as the Anacondas for a reason. Well, he lost his two precious anacondas in battle, but now he has six bronze automaton anacondas, fuly articulated and loaded up with all kinds of weapons for maximum effectiveness in battle! Actually fuck that, he’s way more terrifying now, who let him get all that stuff?!

Kyoka Jiro: Daughter of Apollo, she’s a top-tier musician, singer and is moderate with a bow and arrow. She can whistle in the ultrasonic range, clap like thunder, sing and play like either a sweet little bird or a whole-ass heavy metal choir without ruining her vocal cords, and she gives the opposite amount of fucks that Zeus does (ie. zero).

Hanta Sero: Son of Hermes, he inherited a pair of magical tape dispensers that can dispense any tape in any amount of any properties he chooses. He uses them to swing around like Spider-Man, which made him a regular visitor of the infirmary until Momo made him a special harness to keep his joints from dislocating. Somehow, he still gets his shoulders dislocated.

Fumikage Tokoyami: Son of Erebos, he suffers from split-personality disorder, but it’s fixed nicely by his inner demon incarnate made of pure darkness he calls Dark Shadow. They have a strangely healthy and wholesome relationship for a boy and his literal inner demon, and they even help each other (or embarass, take your pick) in social interactions.

Shoto Todoroki: A Legacy, descendant of Hel and Surtr, capable of making ice that freezes fire, and fire that burns ice. He gives so little shit he’s actually oblivious to social cues, which makes for more than a few funny moments on quests with him.

Toru Hagakure: Legacy of Iris, she can manipulate light around her to turn invisible or project bright flashes. Campers often say hi to her even if she’s not there just in case.

Katsuki Bakugou: Son of Ares, with rage and instincts of combat so strong and powerful he can convert his sheer rage and passion into explosions in the palms of his hands. He generated more than one explosion with the explosive yield of a nuclear weapon in his life. How he hasn’t gone deaf yet is beyond most people, though he does still know a variety of sign languages in case he does go deaf.

Izuku Midoriya: Son of Athena that was gifted the Spartan Spirit, a powerful enchantment formed by Kratos, Nike, Bia and Zelus, to protect humanity in its greatest times of need, and bestowed upon the most well-meaning and kind-hearted individuals of an era. He ends up breaking his bones an absolute shitton, and is a regular at the infirmary. The healers and smiths absolutely loathe him by now.

Minoru Mineta: Died on a quest. His quest-mates say ‘by accident’. Everyone knows it was very deliberate, but then again, everyone hated him and is fine with him dead. Some people wanted to be the ones to kill him though.

Momo Yaoyorozu: A Legacy, granddaughter of Hephaestus and Athena, capable of making virtually any machine. She’s also very fidgety, and once made an entire army of fully autonomous grass soldiers that went on to terrorize the other campers for a bit. In thirty minutes.

Yosetsu Awase: Son of Hephaestus, he also likes to make stuff. Though mostly he combines already existing tools, gadgets and machines, and makes weird amalgamations. He once fused an automaton bull, an automaton dragon and a school bus, and it actually, somehow, despite all logic and reason, fucking works.

Sen Kaibara: Son of Ares, he’s pretty chill compared to his kin (especially Katsuki and Setsuna), mainly due to him bottling up his anger. Which he can unleash as tornadoes around his limbs, which he can use to drill through walls. Thank gods he doesn’t lose it too often.

Togaru Kamakiri: Son of Ceres, he likes farming tools. Especially ones with blades. That’s lead to him using all kinds of sickles, scythes (both farming tools and war scythes) in combat, and even axes, shovels, various lawn mowers...

Shihai Kuroiro: Son of Nyx, him and Tokoyami get along exceptionally well. Given his ability to shadow-travel and use shadows and darkness as materials to make some pretty nifty weapons only he can use, he’s strangely bright and like a Sun. At least among the two stepbrothers of darkness, and the bar for eing the sunny one is set very low.

Itsuka Kendo: Daughter of Athena, she excels in critical thinking and a variety of martial arts. And knocking out her piers with precise attacks when they start to get exceptionally annoying. Mostly Monoma. Scratch that, especially Monoma. Okay, nevermind, only Monoma.

Yui Kodai: Daughter of Trivia. She excels in potions and spells that manipulate the size of objects, so much so that she has to resort to gloves because she now naturally makes things smaller with her left hand, or bigger with her right hand. She’s the calm one of the 20 people here.

Kinoko Komori: Daughter of Demeter, she has a soft spot for fungi and mushrooms. Which she can make grow rapidly. Very rapidly. She’s fun at parties.

Ibara Shiozaki: Daughter of Demeter, she dyes her hair green with actual chlorophyll for some reason (“To feel one with the beautiful plants,” she says), but she can also grow and manipulate vines and other vine-like plants, along with trees, quite effectively, and she has some rose and poison oak (she’s immune to it) seeds in her hair. Don’t ask, her answers are just as ridiculous as the chlorophyll-dyed hair.

Jurota Shishida: Son of Mars, he’s been cursed by most likely Hera to be a humanoid boar/dog thing. He’s especially good at wrestling, and is very diplomatic in his approach. Until he gets pissed, then he charges like a boar and yes, he keeps those tusks of his sharp.

Niregeki Shoda: Legacy of Hermes, son of Hephaestus, he likes to make explosives and plant them everywhere. More than a few campers were scared. Except Katsuki, who tried to outdo the ground (Niregeki’s mine) in explosive yield and put skylight access in the roof of Bunker 9. Niregeki had to repair it.

Pony Tsunotori: Legacy of Poseidon, she can shapeshift. She likes to shapeshift into horses, bulls, deer and goats (including mooses and buffalo), and she has a nifty gadget from the Hephaestus and Vulcan campers in the shape of horns that transform with her, giving her detachable remote-control horns. 

Kosei Tsuburaba: Legacy of Jupiter, son of Ares, he’s competitive and can make walls and blades out of air. Especially annoying for monsters because they can’t get to him, period, and every time they try, they don’t get past his walls of air for a whole minute before someone either cuts/hacks/slices them to bits, freezes/burns them alive, blows them up with their fists/explosives/expanding stones they previously ingested or some other way of disposing of a monster.

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu: Son of Vulcan, capable of turning to pure steel over his entire body, also increasing his strength. Because of this, and his tendency to go hard whenever he’s excited, he’s made his friends frequent the infirmary for bruises and broken ribs. Except Kirishima.

Setsuna Tokage: Daughter of Ares, she’s actually been hurt pretty badly in one of her fights (she went on a Quest with Katsuki, and no, it wasn’t him who hurt her, and yes, no one really believes that story either) and had to have automaton grafts to replace her limbs, a part of her lower jaw, her eyes and the muscles around her spine, along with parts of the vertebrae. Which she asked to be detachable and splittable in as many pieces as possible, which she can control telepathically and uses to troll other campers. A lot. Especially two certain sons of Vulcan and her half-siblings.

Manga Fukidashi: No one knows what he is, they just know his head is a speech bubble and he can make anything he writes real.

Juzo Honenuki: Legacy of Gaia, he can virtually liquify the ground (does not work on metal or wooden floors). He trolls a lot with this ability. And I do mean a lot.

Kojiro Bondo: A golem? A person? His head makes it hard to tell whether he’s a demigod or a monster to be honest. And his glue-like spit doesn’t help much either.

Neito Monoma: Legacy of, you guessed it, Zeus! He has a superiority complex because of this, and he frequents the infirmary on the basis of Itsuka or whoever he was annoying KOing him constantly. All that brain damage probably isn’t helping his mental issues…

Reiko Yanagi: Daughter of Hecate she can make things she touches float and fly around using some sort of incantation. The biggest she can do is double her own body weight, but that doesn’t stop her from delivering high-speed flying punches and scaring other campers.

Hiryu Rin: Son of Mars and Legacy of Poseidon, he can shapeshift into various animals. Most notably a mix of human, hedgehog and a lizard. Sharp, painful and deadly precise. And also meditating. And a lot of it.

[alexannah]

Just Keep Digging PART THREE

Chapter One | Chapter Two | FFnet | AO3

Summary: Lila makes a big mistake when showing off one day to the class. But her mistake may turn out to be not such a bad thing for Marinette and Adrien. From a prompt by @countingdowndays

Author Notes: Okay since this is no longer a one-shot, I discovered (thanks, Keyseeker) that I need to clarify where this fic stands canonically. Most of my fics I actually ignore season three, but obviously I can’t do that entirely here since we’re post-Chameleon.

So … This fic takes place shortly after Chameleon, and obviously we’re now AU because of the reveal, but it takes into account season three up until and including Startrain. (Whether I’ll get as far as events in those episodes actually occurring, I have no idea.) However Kwami Buster onwards is NOT taken into account. So no worries about our heroes having to give up their Miraculouses, or future Hawk Moth, or any Cat Blanc stuff. None of that exists here!

And for the record, I’m a fan of Gabriel and Nathalie and a supporter of the redemption arc. Whether this fic will go there or not, I don’t know. Still improvising here!

Just Keep Digging

By Alexannah

Chapter Three: Just Keep Intimidating

“Do you have any idea how lonely Adrien gets, Mr Agreste?” Marinette blurted out.

Gabriel Agreste blinked at the abrupt change of subject. “I’m sorry?”

“You’d better be. He spends most of his time shut up in this house, not allowed to leave except for school and classes. I get that you want to protect him, but all too often you cross the line between keeping him safe and keeping him a prisoner. He hardly ever complains because he’s used to it, it’s his norm; but that doesn’t mean it’s right or best for him. People need social interaction, sir. He hates being so isolated; you may not mean to, but you hurt him so much by doing that to him.”

“He told you this?”

“He doesn’t have to. We can all see it a mile off. Which makes me wonder why you can’t.” Marinette paused. “No, actually I know why you can’t. Because while you keep him physically close, you keep him emotionally distant. You don’t give him any quality time, or make him feel like he can approach you. I understand that you’re a busy man, but surely you can spare some time to spend with him, instead of always palming him off on your staff. It would make him feel so much better to at least know you’re trying. Instead there’s this massive wall between you and it’s growing bigger every day. And wrapping him in cotton wool isn’t the answer. You know what happens to people when they’re wrapped in too much cotton wool, Mr Agreste? They suffocate.”

There was a long, long silence once she finally stopped talking, wondering if she had completely blown it. Mr Agreste was still staring at her, no recognisable reaction on his face except extreme surprise.

Finally he broke eye contact, removing his glasses and polishing them. “I see you care deeply for my son,” he finally said, quite quietly.

“Yes, I do.”

“Hmm. Most of his fans desire him because he’s handsome and famous.” He replaced his glasses and looked back at Marinette. “But not you.”

“I’d love him just as much if no-one had heard of him and he had a face like a gorilla’s butt.”

Mr Agreste’s mouth twitched. “So I assume your intentions towards him are of the … more long-term variety.”

“The forever kind of long-term,” she agreed. “The ‘till death do us part’ kind of long-term.” For a moment she thought something weird flickered in Mr Agreste’s eyes at the ‘death do us part’ bit, but a second later she was sure she had imagined it. “The ‘married with three kids and a hamster’ kind of long term.”

“I see. And what do you imagine Adrien would be doing, other than helping you look after three kids and a hamster?”

“Whatever makes him happy. Whether that’s modelling, or his music, or tap dancing in the street.” Marinette tried not to giggle as she remembered him actually doing that as Cat Noir. “I’m sure you have your own grand ideas about what Adrien should do with his life, sir, but he’s his own person who deserves to make his own decisions. Even if you think they’re the wrong ones. Maybe I don’t meet your high standards; maybe none of his friends do. But we all love Adrien and want what’s best for him.”

Silence fell for a long moment as he gazed at her thoughtfully. “Tell me, does Adrien share your very specific vision of your future?”

“Well, I don’t know if he wants the same number of kids and a hamster, but I know he wants to spent the future with me. We should probably work out the details after we’ve been a couple for more than a few hours.”

Again, Mr Agreste’s mouth twitched, and Marinette dared wonder if he was actually amused by her words. Whether or not that was a good thing, however, remained to be seen.

“I will allow your relationship with Adrien,” he said finally. “But I have conditions.”

“So do I,” Marinette said before she knew what she was saying.

His eyes widened. “I beg your pardon?”

“I already told you, Mr Agreste, that there are areas of your relationship with Adrien—well, the whole thing, really—that you need to work on.” Marinette folded her arms decisively. “So if you really want him to be happy, then I expect you to be willing to do so.”

She received a speechless gape in return.

“I expect you to choose presents for Adrien yourself and put thought and care into them. I expect you to make it up to him whenever your work gets in the way of spending time with him. I expect you to find time to actually tell him you love him, because to my knowledge he’s never heard that from you. I expect you to consider Adrien’s feelings and consult with him when making decisions for his protection or whatever, and if necessary reach a compromise you’re both happy with. I expect you to be more open to suggestions from other people who care about him on what’s best for him and what he needs to be emotionally healthy. I expect you to try, Mr Agreste. I expect you to want to be a better parent and be willing to learn.”

It was impossible to work out what he was thinking, but for some reason she couldn’t explain, she thought her words might actually be getting through to him.

“And this isn’t just about Adrien,” Marinette continued boldly. “Assuming that our future progresses as we both hope it does, then one day I guess I’ll be your daughter-in-law.” The expression on his face was suddenly beyond laughable. “And I may as well make this clear now so there are no surprises in the future, so you can’t possibly have any reason to withdraw your approval of us later on.”

“I’m listening.”

“I expect you to learn not to be such a control freak, so that when he’s an adult, you don’t make him feel like he has to do everything you want him to rather than what he wants, in order to keep you happy; because that’s not healthy—it’s not healthy now—and you can’t regulate his life decisions forever. I expect by the time he and I are married for you to have let go and let him have his own life. Assuming you take on board everything I’ve said, I’m hopeful the two of you will have a much better relationship by then than you have now; and if, as I think, you really do love him, then I can’t see any reason why you wouldn’t want that.”

“I do love him,” Mr Agreste said quietly.

“Good. So we’re in agreement.”

He still looked a bit stunned, but didn’t disagree.

“I haven’t finished,” Marinette continued. “Our future children.” He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I expect you to make an effort. I expect you to actually have a relationship with them, not be this distant figure they hardly ever see and barely know. You will respect that Adrien and I are their parents, and therefore our decisions are the ones that go; and while we’ll be open to advice, at the end of the day we’ll be the ones making the decisions we feel are best for them. You will do your very best to be present at every single special occasion; and I won’t accept any excuses, only the most valid, out-of-your-control reasons. Every Christmas and birthday, every school play and concert, every fencing meet or whatever interests they end up pursuing, regardless of whether they meet your approval or not. You have been absent from the important things in Adrien’s life for way too long and I won’t stand for you treating your grandchildren the same way. I want them to have a grandfather they can actually have a good relationship with, someone they will love and look forward to spending time with. And I know Adrien would want that too.”

Once again, the room was dead silent once she had finished.

“So what were your conditions, Mr Agreste?” Marinette asked, almost sweetly.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Er …”

~*~

In the next room, Adrien was trying desperately to resist the temptation to listen at the door. His father and Marinette’s voices were muffled, so he couldn’t work out what they were saying, but they sounded quite heated.

If he were alone, he probably would have listened, but Nathalie was there. While he wasn’t entirely sure she would stop him, he didn’t want her to mention to Gabriel later that he had overheard whatever was going on in there.

“Thanks for letting me tell him myself,” he said finally to break the awkward silence.

Nathalie nodded. “Do you love her, Adrien?”

“Completely and utterly,” he said with no hesitation. He thought about adding “I’d die for her,” but stopped himself just in time, thinking that might not have the right effect.

Her expression softened. “I very much hope she can win your father over.”

“So do I. She’s so wonderful; and if anyone can, she can; but … Father’s so stubborn.”

“He is,” Nathalie agreed. “And overprotective. But he does have a heart, Adrien.”

“He has a funny way of showing it sometimes,” Adrien muttered.

Nathalie sighed. “I know.”

There was an awkward pause.

“So … how did the two of you …?”

Adrien hesitated, quickly sorting through the memories and censoring the superhero identity stuff in favour of a simpler version of the story. Marinette coming to comfort him after what Lila had said, and him realising she felt the same way about him than he did her … yes, that would do.

“Well, it started with us all talking about our favourite movies …”

~*~

Marinette opened the door, and saw Adrien sitting talking with Nathalie, who looked quite angry for some reason. She quickly schooled her expression to be more neutral as she saw her, and stood up. “How did it go?”

“Er … well, he’s happy for us to date.”

Adrien beamed. “He is? Yes! I knew you could win him over, Marinette!”

“You sound quite relieved nevertheless,” she teased, drawing up to him.

“Well … maybe I was a bit worried,” Adrien admitted. “That’s not a reflection on you at all, though.”

“I know. Anyway, it’s all okay. Though he has set some conditions.”

Adrien frowned. “Conditions?”

“Nothing bad. Just, you know, sticking to curfew, bodyguard, stuff like that.”

“That was an awfully long conversation for just going over ground rules,” Nathalie said, in a tone which made Marinette sure she suspected a lot more had been discussed.

“Other subjects may have come up,” she said vaguely.

“Oh? Like what?” Adrien asked.

“Well … er … your dad’s lousy parenting …”

“What?” he gasped, and Nathalie choked.

“You’re the one who told me to be honest!” Marinette said to her.

“Sheesh, Marinette, what did you say to him?”

“Basically, everything I and the rest of your friends have wanted to say to him for the last few months.”

Adrien groaned. “I can hardly believe you’re still breathing! Let alone that he actually approved us dating?”

“Apparently I proved to him that I’m not after you because you’re a famous model.” She kissed his cheek, and he blushed. Aw, she would never get used to that. “And on a completely unrelated note, he’s made a resolution to have dinner with you at least four times a week, let you attend at least one social thing a week (three in the holidays), and he’s coming to see you in the school talent show next Friday.”

And when you turn fifteen, you’re getting a surprise birthday party, she silently added.

Nathalie raised her eyebrows. “Goodness,” she said, sounding very impressed.

“Wow,” Adrien said, sounding just as much so. “Marinette, you do realise that apart from my mom, you and Nathalie are the only two people who have ever been able to get my father to change his mind about something like that?”

“Um … no, I didn’t.” Marinette looked at Nathalie. “Thanks for the tip.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, Adrien, here’s your phone back.” She handed him his phone, then looked between them. “Is Marinette staying for a while, or do you two have other plans?”

“Er, I think it might be a good idea to give Mr Agreste some space from me for the rest of the day.”

“And we do have other plans,” Adrien agreed, taking her hand. “I promised her ice cream at Andre’s.”

“Ice cream?” Nathalie glanced out of the window. “Are you sure? It looks like it’s going to start storming again soon.”

“Oh,” Adrien said, sounding disappointed.

“We could go to my house instead,” Marinette suggested. “Only fair you get to meet my parents now.”

“They’re not going to interrogate me, are they?”

“Not like that. My dad is a very different kind of intimidating.”

Adrien raised his eyebrows. “Er, what kind of intimidating?”

“You’ll see.”

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway, and they all looked over to see Mr Agreste had appeared. “Nathalie, could I have a word?”

Marinette gulped, wondering if this was about Adrien’s birthday present.

“I wonder what that’s about,” Adrien said, frowning slightly after Nathalie had followed her boss from the room.

“Er …” She cast her mind around quickly for a change of subject. “Yeah, um … there’s someone else we need to talk to. Master Fu,” she said in a low voice.

Adrien paused. “Oh. Right. We know our secret identities now … Do you think he’ll be upset?”

“I don’t know, but whatever his reaction, we shouldn’t put it off.” Marinette took out her phone and selected the turtle icon in her contacts.

~*~

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Nathalie said after closing the door behind her.

“They’re dating, not engaged,” Gabriel said quickly, though he couldn’t help silently adding yet. He shook himself and remembered what he had actually intended to talk to her about.

“I think you made the right decision, sir. Marinette seems a sweet girl. And Adrien is clearly absolutely smitten with her.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it goes both ways. She was very …” Gabriel paused, searching for the right word. “… specific about her feelings for him.”

“Really?”

He knew from her tone that it was not actually a surprise, and wondered what she had said to Marinette before the meeting. “Yes. Very bluntly honest.”

That was putting it mildly. Marinette Dupain-Cheng had let him have it with both barrels. Gabriel thought the last time he had been that intimidated by a teenager, he had been the same age himself. Fortunately he didn’t think he had let it show.

“I see. Good for her.”

“Yes.” He paused. “The thing is, she did bring up something which I should ask you about.”

“Oh?”

“I understand that the present she intended to give to Adrien for his birthday, was somehow mistaken for being from me.” He arched an eyebrow at Nathalie, whose eyes widened.

“Oh. Er … d-did she tell Adrien?”

“No. And she stated she has no plans to do so. Apparently he was delighted to think it was from me, and she doesn’t want to disappoint him.” Gabriel fixed his assistant with a sharp frown. “I don’t suppose you could shed any light on how this misunderstanding occurred, Nathalie?”

She sighed. “On Adrien’s birthday, Marinette dropped off a gift for him, shortly before you … asked if I had got him a present from you. I … didn’t remember you having asked me to before, and … I panicked.”

“You told Adrien that Marinette’s scarf was from me.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Why did you not simply go out and get him something?”

Nathalie fixed Gabriel with a surprisingly hard look. “Because that would have required leaving Adrien to eat lunch alone on his birthday, Mr Agreste. Which I didn’t want to do. Nor did I want to have to tell him that his father had either not got him a present, or asked me to and that I had forgotten. I knew any of the above would hurt him.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “And as it happened, because of the Bubbler, he had lunch alone on his birthday anyway.”

The accusation was impossible to miss, and a long, very tense silence fell between them.

“I … will not akumatize anyone on Adrien’s birthday again,” Gabriel finally relented.

“Especially not friends of his who only wanted to do something kind for him,” Nathalie added.

“Er … yes. I mean … no, I won’t.”

Her expression softened slightly. “Marinette really got through to you, didn’t she?”

“You put her up to that, didn’t you?”

“All I did was advise her to be honest. The rest was all her.”

“Well, it worked,” Gabriel admitted. “There are some … changes I need to make.”

Nathalie nodded slowly, frowning again. “Talking of honesty … did you by any chance sense any negative emotions from Lila Rossi earlier today?”

Gabriel blinked, completely taken aback. “Yes, actually. She’s been very emotional for most of the day, but you know I’ve been tied up with work I couldn’t delegate. It’s been quite frustrating having to wait; I was planning to seize the opportunity once Marinette had left. How did you know?”

“Adrien told me about something that happened this morning between the two of them. And … well, you’re not going to like it …”

~*~

Lila checked her text again.

We need to talk.

She didn’t know why she had come to the meeting place Adrien had specified. What more did he want to say? Adrien was the forgiving type, but she was certain this was beyond even him.

One little miscalculation, and everything had been ruined. Usually Lila planned her stories with care, but from time to time had simply grabbed an opportunity. And now she’d had the horrible misfortune of picking the wrong person to lie about.

How the hell was I supposed to know she was his mom???

If she transferred to a new school (Lila was already formulating an argument to present to her mother why it was necessary), then she would be more careful. At the very least do an internet search before opening her mouth.

She turned as she heard the car pull up behind her. The back window rolled down, and her eyes widened in surprise as it revealed not Adrien, but his father.

“Get in, Miss Rossi,” Gabriel Agreste said shortly.

She did, hesitating as she realised he was alone in the back. “Where’s Adrien?”

“He did not send you that text. You are not the only one with the ability to deceive.”

A cold chill went down her spine as the car pulled off, and Lila was suddenly very aware of the fact that no-one knew where she was.

“S-sir? What do you want?”

He didn’t look at her, face set in grim determination as he stared straight ahead. “Adrien told Nathalie what you said about his mother.”

Lila had guessed he’d found out, but still felt the blood drain from her face. “Sir, I swear, I never meant—I had no idea he was talking about his mom!”

“That is not the point. Your story could have severely hurt him, and the only reason it didn’t was because he believes something tragic happened to her.” He suddenly fixed Lila with a glare so fierce, she wished he was still looking straight ahead. “I wanted to tell you personally that if you ever do or say anything that could hurt Adrien again, regardless of whether or not you meant it to, you will severely regret it.”

Lila waited for the car to stop, but it didn’t. She glanced at the driver. It wasn’t Adrien’s bodyguard as usual; it was the aforementioned secretary. For some reason this felt foreboding.

“Um … wh-where are we going?”

He did not answer her question. “Miss Rossi, your relationship, in any sense, with my son is over. You are not to go near him again. You are not to talk about him or to him, and the same goes for his friends, because when they are hurt so is he. You are toxic and I will not have your poison harming my family.”

“I understand, Mr Agreste.”

“I’m not sure you do. You have been akumatized … how many times?”

“Er …” Lila said, taken aback at the question.

“Four, as I understand it. And you have a deep hatred of Ladybug which has made you valuable to Hawk Moth.”

“I’m not sure I understand—Wait, how do you know?”

“I am very well informed, Miss Rossi. Especially about the people around my son. I want to make one thing absolutely clear. Should you be akumatized again, no matter what Hawk Moth wants of you, Adrien and his friends are off limits. You cannot use that as an excuse with me.” His eyes sent icy daggers of fear through her. “You will find I can be a much more dangerous enemy than Hawk Moth.”

Before she could register the movement, his hand had crept around her throat and started to squeeze.

Lila choked, struggling to draw breath, and grasped weakly at his strong fingers, trying to pull them off. They were immovable. He wasn’t blocking her airways, but it hurt. She saw Nathalie glance in the mirror but merely look away, showing no sign of mercy.

Mr Agreste finally let go. “Is that absolutely clear?”

“Y-yes, s-sir,” Lila gasped, massaging her throat.

“Now you are going to get out, and you are going to tell your parents about every single lie you have told. If I find you have missed any out, I will tell them myself.”

They stopped, and Lila saw they were outside her home. She had never been so relieved to be able to get out of a car. She would take being grounded for the rest of her life over spending one more second in that man’s company.

“This is your only warning,” Gabriel Agreste said darkly, before closing the door again. The car pulled away.

Lila braced herself, and approached her front door.

~*~

“Don’t dawdle on the way home,” Gabriel said to Nathalie, settling back in his seat, satisfied and in anticipation. “I will not miss this opportunity.”

“Of course, Mr Agreste.”

He could already feel Lila’s anger and frustration, but once her parents found out everything, it was bound to increase. Her next akumatization would be her most powerful form yet.

“Do you think she’s afraid enough to leave Adrien alone?” Nathalie asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. “She might have thought you were bluffing.”

“She didn’t. I can tell.” Gabriel looked back at his assistant. “Do you think it was too big a risk?”

“As long as you left no visible mark on her—”

“I didn’t.” He had been very careful not to.

“—and she’s convinced that you really would hurt her if she hurt Adrien again—”

“Which I will. And she is.”

“—then no. Even if she tries to tell someone you attacked her, no-one is going to believe her now.”

Gabriel nodded. That had been the plan. His Miraculous glowed as Lila’s emotions suddenly spiked. “Faster, Nathalie. I mean … Catalyst.”

To Be Continued …

Author’s Note: Thanks to phantombullets240 for your idea; it’s what turned this into a multi-chapter fic.

I initially drafted the penultimate scene with Gabriel ending his deal with Lila, then remembered it hadn’t happened yet in canon. Which is a shame because it would have been so much more tense. But I’m happy with the rewrite.

Part of the scene between Marinette and Gabriel was inspired by a conversation from Monster In Law, but it’s been years since I’ve seen the film so I’m not sure how close it is to the original.

I have a plan for the next chapter, but action isn’t my strong point, so it might take a little longer than the others to write!

[generalchelseamayhem]

I got a whole bunch of rants I need to get out there that are critical of trans activism and other various forms of activism, but that I think it would be beneficial for the trans community and other related communities to hear and take on board in the long run

When you put them all together, they’re about language.

Put simply, the language that we use to describe marginalized people and the life circumstances of marginalized people changes too suddenly and too punishingly to take seriously as a means of impactful social change, and it does so in a way that, dare I say, shows the privilege of the people who coined whatever new terms are considered acceptable to use.

Take, as an example,

this post by phd_balance on Instagram

, ostensibly in celebration of Trans Awareness Week. In it, the creator makes the statement “Language changes over time. While certain terms may have been commonly used years ago, they are now outdated and should be replaced with the current terminology”

That’s great and all, but that’s... not entirely your decision to make. I’m not naive enough to believe that there is one singular trans community groupthink that everyone subscribes to, and since you’re the one doing the trans activism, you shouldn’t be that naive either.

It risks - who am I kidding? - it actively and rather shamelessly contributes to othering the kinds of people within the trans community who are not fashionable enough to keep up with the terminology as it changes. Should you refer to dysphoria as Gender Identity Disorder? Maybe not. But what happens when a trans people who are firmly embedded in the community, but exist on the fringes of the activist clique, have known terms such as Gender Identity Disorder and Sex Reassignment Surgery their entire lives and don’t feel the desire or the necessity for the change? Okay, so that term sounds offensive to you, but to others it may be how they’ve conceptualized their entire existence as trans people. A trans man who thinks of themselves as “FTM” should not have to confront their own perceptions of themselves as problematic and outdated before they are allowed to engage in discourse and activism for their own human rights.

It is also worth mentioning that the discourse around language is more often than not highly performative, and with each passing change it serves the actual needs of vanishingly smaller and smaller numbers of already tiny groups of people.

The other problem is that any changes in the language used by the trans community have to be picked up by the institutions that trans people interact with in their everyday lives, and look. Brigading someone on Twitter for using the wrong language is a very fast and very toxic way of getting social change to happen. It has a steep, steep cost, but it works.

But even then, most major social media websites, government services, and any other places which are in-touch enough with the cultural zeitgeist to make the changes swiftly, they have only really come around to concepts like “preferred pronouns” within the past 3 or so years, and suddenly a term that, for them, is effectively 3 years old is being denounced as old and out-of-touch, just as much as they were out-of-touch when they weren’t offering wide varieties of gender and sexuality information options at all.

That is not sustainable. You are never going to find a perfectly inoffensive term for everything, that has 0 cultural or social implications for absolutely everybody involved, and in the quest for trying you are going to leave everyone who wasn’t college-educated and already involved in trans activism discourse in the dust.

Plus which, when you try too hard to accommodate absolutely everyone who fits a certain criterion under a term with absolutely no capacity to offend whatsoever, you get a term that offends everybody.

Harvard Medical School hosted a panel on experiences relating to pregnancy and childbirth. Discussions of womanhood and manhood are surprisingly fraught these days because trans activists have got it into their head that, say, discussing childbirth as something a woman does erases the existence of all the trans men who happen to have vaginas, and so on.

Personally I would have thought that a trans man would like to have people think of them as a man, and therefore not want to be constantly reminded of the bits of themselves that run contrary to that perception, but you know, whatever, that’s just me.

So Harvard Med School suddenly finds itself in a conundrum, because, shock horror, a number of terms have been thrown at the wall for the better part of a decade to describe people who happen to have vaginas and in the vast majority of cases are women but who in fact may or may not entirely be made up of women, and none of them have stuck. But they have to use a term that offends nobody, or else how can this conference go forward??

So what do they come up with?

Birthing person.

I know the TERFs leap all over this kind of language and scream “JUST SAY WOMEN!!”, and to be honest, I don’t entirely disagree, but they will also say that terms like this exist to erase womanhood in order to make a tiny minority of trans people feel comfortable.

To which I say,

Am I supposed to believe that the term “birthing person” is actually going to make any trans people feel comfortable and welcome in this discussion??

No. Of course not. It is a clear-cut instance of the ever-increasingly prevalent phenomenon of trying to be as inclusive as possible and accidentally reducing everyone’s personhood to their genitals and body functions in the process. In my opinion it is not a term that you should use to describe anyone for any reason ... except, apparently, as a performative concession to the existence of trans people without actually engaging them as anything more than a demographic checklist.

And maybe I would understand the temptation to Do Something Just So We Can Say We’d Made A Difference if this wasn’t all coming from the most privileged educational backgrounds on planet Earth, but language discourse threatens to derail important and provocative and frankly uncomfortable conversations that, sooner or later, people need to have without worrying whether their choice of words in every other sentence is going to cause a firestorm before anyone has even tackled the subject matter.

The best way to handle language is not to decide which terms are and are not offensive. The best way to handle language is to decide which terms best describe the thing or phenomenon that you are describing. Some of those will have connotations - and that’s good! Connotations inform meaning just as much as words do. That is how meaning is formed. That is why taking a whole meaning from a word or phrase and trying to staple it to a totally different word or phrase that nobody has heard in that context before doesn’t work. That is why Even More Inclusive new words just develop their own set of connotations year after year, and likely wind up being less all-inclusive and more acknowledging-a-subset-of-a-subset. But the important thing above all, when you are expressing ideas and saying words to convey those ideas, is just that people know what you are talking about.

Being concise, and being armed with a full list of pre-made connotations that have developed over decades and even centuries, helps people to understand you when you speak. Going out of your way to stumble over new terminology that includes people that, in many cases, weren’t terribly excluded to begin with, does not help.

As I said much, much earlier, this is not a phenomenon limited to the trans community, but I like to think I’ve been good at supporting trans people so far throughout my life and I’ve been seeing a lot of activist discourse coming out of the trans community in particular over the past month or so that has really ticked me off. End rant.

[bi-outta-cordonia]

In Another World, Part II

The continuation of the Colt x MC piece I was hoping to finally put out for @rodappreciationweek. The week itself is over, so this is just me slamming chapters up hoping to finally do a thing I’ve been thinking about for a minute!

Part I --> here!

Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance. Colt Kaneko x f!MC(Deidre Wheeler). PG-13, with warnings going out to Brandon’s rancid vibes. ~4k words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seventeen, eighteen—her keyboard clacks in steady strokes, each letter spelling out a larger plan that should take no more than three years and some change to complete if she works hard enough. Every orientation event is over. Every “meet and greet” has long since burned the flames of excitement out her bones. Extracurriculars, plus honors programs, plus a few personal hobbies will fill her free time in between classes. But the main question again…

Seventeen credits or eighteen credits?

Deidre’s hands hover over the keyboard and she chews her lip.

“I know it’s not my business…” Deidre tosses a look back at Ingrid, her pouty lips pursed and her brow drawn. Ingrid glances pointedly at the open document on the computer screen. “We’re definitely still doing the competition thing, right? Pushing each other or whatever?” Deidre nods slowly. “Which is cool! But like…I don’t want you to burn out before we really get into it!”  

Deidre frowns. “You’re taking seventeen credits.”

“Yeah, but that’s because I’m doing my lab first!” Ingrid waltzes up and clicks to the next screen, displaying the course load Deidre painstakingly puts together months before the first day of classes. “Do your lab first, duh. You already have a bunch of high school credits for the 100 levels.”

“But I’d still have to drop a class,” Deidre says.

Ingrid rolls her eyes. “God, I respect you so much but you can really be irritating.”

Deidre balks. “Alright—”

“Here, take a bullshit class and you can keep your seventeen.” Ingrid clicks a few buttons and lands on a page describing a philosophy class. She squints at the screen. “Blah blah blah, classical and modern conceptions of love, blah blah. You just need to get an A and you’ll be solid, yeah?”

Deidre shakes her head and turns her attention back to the screen.

~ 

“A look at the ways in which classical and modern conceptions of love and romance have changed over the natural course of time. What the course aims to do is interrogate how love has been defined and shaped by society and cultures. Bring an open mind and an equally open heart to a two day a week lecture!”

Seems simple enough.

Day one doesn’t fully prepare her for the sheer amount of bodies filling every concrete path between her and the rest of Langston. The way she works out her schedule, serious classes take place Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. “Bullshit electives” (Ingrid’s words) occupy her Tuesdays and Thursdays for the time being. One class that focuses on life skills and the other is apparently a philosophy class about love.

A comfortable pair of jeans and even more comfortable sneakers gets her through the throngs of people jockeying for space on the sidewalks. Some souls are brave (or foolish?) enough to bike through the madness but she remembers her favorite self-defense trick from her father—throw them bows.

Deidre shoves her way to Terrence Hall and wanders around the building twice before she finds the lecture room. “Room” because it’s small like a classroom and filled from front to back with desks. The age of the building shows in some of the dusty corners and faded paint on the walls. A good number of her peers sit scattered throughout the room, some leaning on desks and carrying on with casual conversations. A few of them eye her as she walks in. Their gazes immediately catch her old shoes and even older jeans. It’s almost funny how the braids and brown skin are the last things they see—at Mar Vista, it was the first but she at least had four years to show them all the money their parents had still couldn’t afford them a brain like hers.

She takes a seat in the front and rummages through her bag when she sets it down. Notebook, lead pencil, laptop open and ready—a long ten minutes pass and the professor walks in holding a cup of coffee.

He’s a small man and most certainly older.

“Thirty of you this year! Much less than I usually get for the fall semester,” he exclaims. His eyes scan over the class and the collective mood drops in an instant. Most of the students are sophomores. A lot of them are just trying to bang out electives first and this was one of the easiest classes the university offers. “Well, anyway—introductions, yes? As many of you should know by now, I am Professor Pines.” Some of the students giggle. “Yes, yes, terrible name, isn’t it? Regardless, I’d rather not spend too much time reflecting on my family’s awful choices in naming conventions.”

He hands a stack of papers to a girl in the front who passes the papers back. A steady stream of motion fills the room as students pass around what she assumes is the syllabus. When she receives her copy, she purses her lips:

20% for quizzes—

15% participation—

15% mid semester report—

25% group project—

25% final exam—

She almost groans along with the rest of the class when they all see it—group project. Professor Pines seems a bit too gleeful despite knowing he’s just cast them all to their doom.

“The basics of the course first,” he starts. “As this is a philosophy class, most of the materials we’ll be working with are going to come from a variety of readings we’ll be doing, examining facets of love and romance across multiple sources to answer that big question that hangs over us all—what exactly is love? What does it entail and how do we define it?” The professor clasps his hands behind his back and looks out over each student. “There are about a thousand ways to describe love but I want to have you all truly engage the topic. How we see it, experience it, and demonstrate it varies wildly and I’m eager to see what the lot of you come up with. Now, if you could all—”

The door opens and the professor stops for a brief moment. He continues with his next topic but it’s hard not to notice him digging through the papers on the table near him as he searches for a spare syllabus for his newest student.

Deidre sits up and thinks the weird boy from the frat party might recognize her as he scans the room for a seat. His eyes find her for all of a second before he struts down the path and takes a seat at the back of the room. She sucks her teeth and turns her attention back to the professor.

He goes on for a long while covering the basics and answering questions as he goes. Most of the students are just using the class to fill up electives—her included. Engagement seems like it’ll be interesting compared to her other classes but at the very least, she’s going to put some effort in. She took top spot back home and she’s going to have to work hard for even the smallest chance at achieving that out here.

“Before I let you all go, I just want to ask…” Professor Pines steeples his fingers, eyes intently watching the class. “What is love?”

His gaze rakes across the length of the room, each student slinking down in their seat and holding a careful breath as they gauge whether he’s the sort that will call on people or let them speak on their own. The silence lasts for a few more minutes until Deidre raises her hand.

The professor beams and the classroom lets out a collective sigh.

“Love can defined in a number of ways but the most basic would point to it being a psychological effect between individuals with well-defined social bonds,” she answers. “It can be a series of emotions, complex affections, and highly specific in terms of behavioral patterns defined by the parameters of a person’s relationship with the object of said love.”

Professor Pines nods approvingly and looks up. “Yes? In the back?”

“It’s a collective of impulses disguised as particular receptors in the brain that dictate meanings behind specific actions.” Deidre turns around in her seat and catches the boy from the party bringing his coffee to his lips for a sip. “Doesn’t always have to be deeper than that—sometimes the brain just does weird shit and we run around trying to add meaning where there doesn’t need to be.”

The class buzzes and Professor Pines seems even more giddy.

“Ah, a realist!” he says and the boy shrugs. “I always get one! Perspective is going to be key here, both in your understandings of the material and of what you take away from this class.”

Deidre raises her hand. “But the whims themselves would become receptors based on the emotional bond between the individuals in question, wouldn’t they? People can act out of a sense of impulse but love requires those impulses be tailored to prior experience with an individual.”

The boy snorts. “Not necessarily. People can say or do something under the guise of love but that doesn’t necessarily make it so. It’s the brain assigning meaning to whims.”

She bristles. “The presence of whims would require a prior interaction that shapes it.”

“Does it? I mean, I don’t believe in that ‘love at first sight’ crap but the existence of such narratives makes a pretty strong case for love being just the brain trying to find ways to assign meanings—”

“Which still can be explained through a prior interaction because ‘love at first sight’ still requires some form of meaningful—”

“And there’s the idealist,” the professor says, nodding thoughtfully. Professor Pines continues, “I don’t really want to keep any of you any longer, so please make sure to read over the syllabus.” He pauses for a moment, glancing between the front and the back of the room. “I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting semester.”

Deidre glances around and sinks a little in her seat at the other students tossing looks between her and the boy from the party. When she looks back at him, he lifts a brow and takes a languid sip of his coffee.

~

“Don’t ask me about that,” Deidre snaps. “I don’t even want to talk about it.”

“That bad?” Riya snorts.

“He’s a douchebag! He actually tried to pull some bullshit devil’s advocate crap day one of the entire semester and he wouldn’t even tell me his fucking name at the party!” Deidre dodges a couple rushing out the dorm and ignores Riya’s cackling.

“I mean, he sounds pretty hot…”

“Riya!” Deidre yanks her phone away from her ear and glares daggers at it. Her teeth grind as Riya’s raucous laugh rings through the tinny speakers and she lets out a roar that has heads turning her way. “You’re being a bad friend!”

“You have a crush on him! Look—Deidre—”

“I’m hanging up on you. Hand to God, I will absolutely end this call right now—“

“Oh my god, stop being dramatic.”

“And of course he shows up ten minutes late to class with Starbucks in hand—didn’t even give a fuck about everyone staring at him or the fact that he chose to further disrupt everything by walking his—” She fumbles her keys at first but eventually jams the metal into the door, “—stupid—dumb!”

Ingrid sits up but Deidre only gives a small wave as she quite literally throws herself on her own bed. She puts Riya on speaker and tosses the phone on her nightstand.

“Dee?”

“Hey Riya!” Ingrid says. Her eyes dart between Deidre and the phone. “Everything okay?”

“Deidre’s got a crush.”

“Shut up.” Deidre rolls over and faces the wall. “There’s a douchebag in my class.”

Ingrid pauses for a long moment. “Like frat boy rich douchebag or just regular smegular rich douchebag?”

“She’s got budding sexual tension with a boy that’s probably as smart as she is.”

“Riya—” Deidre pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Oh, mood.” Ingrid readjusts her glasses. “If he’s as hot as the dude you saw at the frat party, I’ll be the first to say you should go for it.”

Deidre braces.

“Speaking of which—”

“Riya.”

“You wouldn’t believe it but it just so happens—”

“I’MHANGINGUPTHEPHONEGOODBYE.”

A profound silence hangs in the room like the most uncomfortable and bloated thing in the world. Ingrid keeps penning away on her notebook and occasionally peeks at the textbook lying open next to her. Deidre lets the silence fester as she gets up and digs through her bag, pulling out notebooks and textbooks to get started on her own work.

An hour passes before Ingrid speaks up. “Ohhhhh…it was the hot guy from the frat party, wasn’t it?”

Deidre pointedly ignores her.

~

Three hours and seventeen minutes. She times herself only because it’s necessary. Darius used to joke and say she was going “beast mode” when she got so into her work that time just stops existing as a concept.

Even if time stops existing, hunger doesn’t so it comes as no surprise that her tummy growls when she finally shuts her last textbook. Day one and she’s already diving deep—perfect. She stretches as she gets up and grabs her keychain.

The dining hall is something else entirely. A bevy of appetizing foods fill the buffet and even more is served by the dedicated cooking staff, of which are all chefs of significant renown if she remembers correctly from the online facilities tour.

Stepping through the doors almost feels like stepping into another dimension. Extensive wood finish fills in every panel of the floor, mahogany furniture with fine leather seats make up a sitting area, and ornate paintings hang on all the walls. Her stomach gurgles again when the smell of baked chicken wafts in her nose. Deidre makes a beeline towards wherever that smell leads her.

Rotisserie chicken, beans and rice, steamed vegetables perfectly seasoned, freshly prepared mango and passionfruit juice—

It isn’t even the most delectable thing from the kitchens: lobster bisque, the freshest produce, the most tender cuts of steak, oysters, and even more. Savory and sweet collide in a mesh of flavorful smells that sets her appetite from moderate to desperate. She swipes her card for her meal and carefully dodges students shuffling about the dining area.

“Oh, right…” she mumbles.

Seems like every person decided now was a fantastic time to get dinner. The dining hall is packed from top to bottom with students. Some sit in groups with textbooks and laptops out on the tables. Others sit off on their lonesome reading from books while absently shoveling spoonfuls in their mouths. There’s a group of extremely attractive girls that waltz past flanked by some fit boys all wearing identical shorts and boat shoes.

Deidre takes a few tentative steps forward and scans the room carefully.

There’s a butt in every seat. Some eyes dart towards her as she walks past but they don’t seem to mind her presence. Or maybe they just don’t care.

She finds an empty seat and moves to set her tray down when a girl clears her throat. The smile that spreads across the girl’s face is sickly sweet—she’s clearly not happy seeing a face trying to squeeze into such a big space and her eyes noting the simple style of Deidre’s fashion makes the smile spread a little wider.

“I’m waiting on some friends. Sorry,” the girl says, clearly not apologetic.

Deidre stares at her for a moment before shaking her head and turning back towards the packed dining hall. She starts her hunt anew when a hand touches her on the square of her back.

“Hey, Deidre, right?” She turns around and finds Brandon’s face. His gaze roams uncomfortably, where he looks she isn’t sure but she’s just as equally sure she doesn’t want him to do that. “Where’s Ingrid?”

“Uh, studying,” she says. “How’ve you been?”

He shrugs. “Day one, so nothing really exciting yet. How about you? First day of college going well?”

“Yeah, just—” She nods towards the full room, “—looking for a place to sit. I didn’t think so many people would be here.”

Brandon’s hand slides a little further up her back and there’s a pressure there that feels like he’s trying to guide her. Her feet lock in place even though her body sways and when she locks eyes with him, he’s staring at her like he’s trying to gauge his next move.

“You should come sit with me and my friends,” he suggests. He points out a table full of students with laptops sitting out. “We’re all STEM—engineering mostly. Ingrid said you were mechanical engineering, right?”

The whole reason she goes to that frat party is to try out new things as a young adult. Life here doesn’t have to be all about hitting the books, it’s about exploring and Ingrid attempts to give her that on the first night. Going back inside was for Ingrid’s sake then and for the remainder of the party, Brandon couldn’t seem to keep his eyes to himself. He wants to get to know her and she should try getting to know him but there’s just something so strange about this.

Her eyes dart around the room and a piercing gaze connects with hers.

The weird boy—the douchebag in the leather jacket.

He’s holding a book but he’s got it hovering over the table like he’s about to set it down. His gaze flits to Brandon behind her and he makes a subtle nod at the empty chair in front of him. He’s got his feet in it.

“Uh, actually…” Deidre steps away from Brandon and tries not to sigh in relief as his hand falls away from her back. She musters the best sheepish smile she can handle. “I just saw a friend! I’ll see you later!”

She wants to kick herself—she doesn’t want to see him again if she can’t help it. But it doesn’t matter now, getting away is all that’s important.

The weird boy moves his feet quickly and sits up in his chair. His gaze lingers on Brandon while she sits down and lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in.

“Is he gone?” she whispers.

He doesn’t answer her for a while. Eventually, he leans back again and opens up his book.

“You’re good.”

Silence fills the void between them as he occasionally flips through his book. Her confused stare morphs into an annoyed glare and she digs into her food once it becomes clear he’s done his one good deed of the day. Savory food fills her belly bite after bite and she swears to try the fried plantains next time. It won’t be anything like how her mom used to make, she’s sure, but the thought fills her with a sense of nostalgia.

She wonders what her dad’s doing right now.

He’ll be getting ready for work soon. The three hour time difference is still something she hasn’t gotten used to just yet but he doesn’t seem to mind getting “good morning” texts at six o’clock.

She sighs—he’ll have to find something to occupy his time now that she’s gone. He’s truly alone this time around.

Deidre looks up and the weird boy is staring straight at her. She hates his look almost as much as Brandon’s.

“What?” she says around a mouthful of food.

“You keep making weird noises and I’m debating on whether or not I want to ask what’s up with you,” he responds.

“You just—” She swallows her food. “I’m fine. Thank you for letting me sit down.”

He keeps looking at her and she tries her best to pointedly ignore him. Every so often her eyes dart to the book in his hand—Mount Washington by James Ashton.

“What’s really up with you?” Deidre looks up at him. He shuts the book and sets it next to his already empty tray. He crosses his arms and leans on the table, subtly glancing over her shoulder. “You were way too chipper for an eight o’ clock in the morning elective so I’m assuming you’re either new to campus or...”

His lips quirk when she narrows her eyes.

“Or?” she asks, already aware of the answer. “I’m a ‘nerd?’ God forbid someone takes their education seriously around here…”

He shrugs. “You still haven’t said what’s wrong with you.”

She chews on a bit of chicken slowly before swallowing, eyes finally connecting with his again. His are black as the night and striking. There’s nothing wrong with admitting he’s handsome in a boyish way. He tilts his head and her face grows a little warm.

“I was thinking about my dad,” she finally says. “It’s been the two of us for a while and I’m wondering what he’s going to do now that I’m not home.”

A small silence hangs between them.

“Where you from?” he asks.

“LA.”

The boy snorts. “Bullshit.” She fixes him with a questioning look and he shakes his head. “I’m from LA. I knew Mar Vista sounded familiar—you went to that prep school. State of the art or some shit.”

“It wasn’t all that, I promise you. Where’d you go?”

“Just a little further north—H.H. Huntington. Public school though, so nowhere near as fancy as what you got.” His face softens a bit though not nearly by much. “I left my mom back home but she’s had a year to figure out the benefits of having a house to herself by now. Your old man will get there soon.”

There’s a part of her that can’t help but think it’s a little sweet that his hard gaze softens further at the mention of his mother. Babies all grown up and flying out the nest is how their parents will see them. She wonders if her dad will even recognize her when she comes back—wonders if the boy’s mother has already accepted the young man that now walks through the doors when he comes home.

“You seemed pissed about earlier today.” His voice brings her back and she stabs at a piece of broccoli.

“In class, you mean,” she clarifies.

“Studious types—you can’t stand being wrong.”

“I wasn’t wrong—”

“And neither was I,” he interrupts. His eyes dart over her shoulder once more and she turns a bit just to follow his gaze. Brandon sits over with his friends and turns the minute her body starts shifting. The boy drums his fingers on his arm. “You done yet?”

~

“You were valedictorian, weren’t you?”

Her brows draw. “Why?”

“Chipper for an eight o’clock and you’re scared about the semester already…” He glances back over his shoulder. “And I told you Langston doesn’t take average kids.”

The boy is so weird. Not weird like Brandon is, which is the kind of weird that makes a person want to double bolt their doors. He’s weird in the sense that there’s a constant game of hot and cold that seems to fuel his every word. He’s perceptive—he remembers her mentioning Mar Vista despite only speaking to her for a total of two minutes. The last time she speaks with him (prior to dinner), he prods at her like an asshole kid poking at a hornet’s nest. His ability to pick things apart is apparent and—

Her brain literally stops.

Langston is filled with money. Langston is money. Average students means average in status only and it’s an extremely competitive school to get into.

Deidre’s eyes rake over the boy—his face, the leather jacket, the backpack slung over his back, and the white motorcycle helmet he holds in the other hand…

“You were…” It’s like the wheels are turning and his gaze immediately meets hers.

“Go on,” he quietly urges.

“You were the valedictorian of your school,” she manages.

He cracks a smile that she can only describe as vicious—she’s not sure why. “Yeah, this semester is about to be hilarious.”

She bristles. “You’re a dick.”

He smirks like he’s proud of it. “I’m walking you home, aren’t I?”

Deidre scoffs and turns away. Day one and she’s regretting some of her decisions already. 

“I don’t even know your name,” she says.

“I don’t know yours either.”

“I tried to ask you at the frat party and you just blew me off,” she counters.

The boy shrugs. “My roommate wrapped up her date and I didn’t want to waste any more time. I guess I could tell you now but it’s way funnier thinking your name is...” A wicked smirk spreads across his face.

She looks at him. “Is what?”

“Stacy,” he says and laughs at the indignation on her face.

“It’s Deidre.”

“Or Becky,” he keeps prodding. “But ‘Deidre’ is nice. I bet people say it right.”

She sighs. “The first time, sure. But then they see the face that goes with the name and it’s impossible to get them to do it again.”

He goes quiet for a second. “Colt. And, no, it’s not short for anything. My last name’s the one that gets butchered though, but I’m not telling you that.”

Colt. His name is “Colt.”

“I prefer thinking of you as ‘the weirdo’,” she teases.

“Most girls save that kind of talk until after the first date.”

Deidre sucks her teeth.

“You think you can get away with things because you’re a smartass,” she bites.

“No, I get away with it because I’m cute. But if you want to go head to head over this, I won’t stop you.” Colt stops—they’ve reached the halfway point across campus. She looks up at him and feels one side of her brain wrestling with the other in the form of an oncoming headache. They stand there awkwardly (mostly on her part) until he nods down the path leading to her dorm. “Be careful, alright?”

So strange—one minute he’s a smartass and the next he’s being a white knight. Deidre wraps her arms around herself and nods.

“See you on Thursday…” She says, turning down the path. A quick glance over her shoulder and he stays rooted there until she gets a safe enough distance across the quad.