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#but make sure you’re not an ass :)
lakefama · 9 months
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she flies onto my phone whenever i’m paying more attention to it than to her
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hijinxinprogress · 1 month
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Civilian Gothamites realizing they can get vengeance through Sword!Robin
Gothamites figuring out if they happen to mention a rogue treating animals poorly within hearing range of sword!Robin that rogue will be in custody with at least four fractures and a concussion and Damian being completely aware that like 63% of these people are lying but it’s the only way he can get experience with the nonlethal takedowns he’s experimenting with bc everyone keeps complaining about how he treats his opponents and allies 
Like he’s guiding a civilian to safety and they mention that “this would be the worst thing to happen to me today if riddler didn’t stab my fucking cat” and this civilian does not own a cat but they did own a car that was just paid off but riddler fucking crushed it with a stupid ass hot air balloon that’s shaped like a fucking question mark and Damian is aware of this bc he was the one that verified the insurance claim (but he’s been looking for a reason to punch Nygma in the throat since his last Arkham escape when he called Damian a moron)
And he also knows that if he plays along with it and says ‘as if I’d let that gaudy and tactless imbecile get away with committing such atrocities’ when prompted that he’ll get away with barely a slap on the wrist like he gets three half hearted but long lectures he’s not going to listen to and an online sensitivity training seminar he goads Tim into completing (Damian and Tim 100% try to trick each other into doing work they don’t want to do and full heartedly believe the other has no idea what they’re doing)
Bruce’s tendency for finding small crashouts at risk of becoming future rogues in Gotham and deciding they need love & supervision but what actually happens bc he’s so fucking awkward is they get almost the same amount of supervision just with like an hour of intense helicopter parenting a week but honestly besides that they just have more money and resources to do fuck shit
Tim 🤝🏾 Damian: using the manipulation tactics they learned from their mothers then later improved on with help from an assassin cult and bat/cape interrogation questioning techniques on the homies
#Both central city and gotham are referred to as crashout central and no one’s ever sure which city is being mentioned unless a cape is named#random Gotham civilians outsourcing a rogue getting their ass kicked to a middle schooler with a katana is fucking funny#Damian & Tim 100% try to trick each other into doing work they don’t like and definitely believe the other has no idea what theyre doing#Whenever damian gets benched the civilians protest until he’s back on duty#and are just generally unhelpful like ‘answer your questions?? That’s crazy I got a question for you: where’s my guy??’#Random gothamite: Batman’s so mean like free my guy 😔 he didn’t even do anything?? He’s just a little guy#Their friend visiting from out of state who’s pretty sure they saw that kid fuck up a dinosaur with no backup: 🤨 ikyfl#the loa ninja who came for a welfare check: you’re joking right???#Sword!robin#robin 5#Robin V#gothamites definitely tried to count the robins but they change names heights & costumes so often that no one’s really sure#so there’s angry!Robin nerd!Robin emo!Robin blonde!Robin and sword!Robin#but there’s also the theories of robin being an amalgamation of every child ghost in Gotham or a shapeshifter with an emo dad#only in gotham#dc civilians#Damian Wayne#Damian Al Ghul#Damian Al Ghul Wayne#dc robin#robin#dc comics#Civilian Gothamites: that polite young man!!#The bats & everyone else that knows Damian: 🤨#Damian currently using psychological warfare against scarecrow a rogue w/ a doctorate in psych and winning: dr crane?? more like dr cringe#Damian: sometimes I just get the urge to weep inconsolably not out of fear but bc I know you believe yourself to be a threat & that’s false#Insurance companies in Gotham either make so much money it’s insane or every employee has 746 hits out on them at all times
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little-pondhead · 1 year
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DPxDC Prompt:
[this is a long one please forgive me]
Bruce lied to the others about his trip through time. Not all of it! Just…one specific thing.
During the early parts of his timeline hijinks, before Tim realized Bruce was still alive, he had a bit of a respite in between his endless time jumps. (Maybe a certain ghost was helping him out.) With a fuzzy memory at best and a strange itch to investigate the unknown, Bruce had been taken in by an old couple who had no kids but wanted to pass on the family name. And who better than a thirty-something amnesiac stranger who could actually be related by blood?
Bruce, with nowhere to go, accepted his new name, grew out his hair, and quickly got accepted into college for engineering. There, he met two of his closest friends; a redheaded woman who could kick his ass and a wet chicken of a man who could also kick his ass. They both made him nostalgic for something he didn’t remember, and that made him sad sometimes, but the two were always there to cheer him up.
Years passed, and Bruce’s life moved on. He settled well into his new name, mourned his parents when the eventually passed, celebrated his wedding with the redhead, and grieved when the last of their trio fell out of touch. He had a daughter, and then a son! They were both so smart, even if they didn’t share the same passion he had for exploring the science behind the afterlife. (Something about the dead just itched his brain in an infuriating way, and Bruce wasn’t one to let sleeping dogs lie. He just had to find out why he was so obsessed with this stuff!)
Eventually, his and his wife’s research yielded results, and that’s when bits of Bruce’s former life started coming back to him. After the portal opened, he spent his days with his head in a fog, oblivious to the world around him as he struggled to continue his work.
Why did he remember a boy named Dick? Who would name their child that? And Jason…who was Jason? That name always made him sad. There were more names, more faces, but none of them were his. He could never remember what his name was supposed to be. All he had was the one his adoptive parents gave him.
His wife was worried. His daughter was struggling. And his son…his son sometimes hurt to look at. Bruce didn’t know why. He knew he was being a terrible father, but something in him wanted to cry whenever he gazed at those clear blue eyes, just like his own. His son was too smart for his own good, and realized his dad had started avoiding him.
The day his son purposely left the room so Bruce could relax was one that hurt him even now.
Time kept passing, and Bruce was becoming anxious. His brain fog was as bad as its ever been. He had constant headaches, and his hands kept twitching for nonexistent tools on his belt. Something was going to happen. Something had happened. A voice in his head told him it was all his fault.
So in an attempt to clear his head and spend more time with his family, Bruce insisted they all go to dinner at the local diner. His son invited his friends. Even better! More people meant more distractions from his messed-up thoughts. He wouldn’t spiral with the kids around.
And then something exploded.
The last thing Bruce remembered was his son’s (green??) eyes widening in fear and horror as something yanked him violently backwards. He fell farther than expected, through a portal and a green sky full of black stars. A hand tightened on the back of his jumpsuit, hauling his giant body through another portal with a roar of a motorcycle.
And then…and then…and then what?
All of a sudden, Bruce was sprawled in some mud in the middle of a forest, dizzy and coughing from the explosion’s fumes. He’s singed all over, and his ears still rang from the force of the…what happened again?
Bruce sits up, and all of a sudden, he’s in the era of the pilgrims. His memory has been wiped clean, his new name and family forgotten thanks to the hands of time. His adventures through the time stream continue, with him assuming many different identities throughout many different decades.
The memories of being Jack Fenton don’t return to him until he’s back in 2004, once again in his own time and living as Bruce Wayne. A glowing green sticky note informs him that “The Nasty Burger Incident” had just occurred. His “other self” just had his ass dragged to another era, so the time loop would continue.
It also informed him that he had an orphaned son crying for him at Bruce’s own grave.
Well, his forgotten son (that sounded bad, even to him) was supposed to be about fourteen now, right? Bruce hopes he doesn’t have to fight anyone for custody.
#pondhead blurbs#danny phantom#dpxdc#writing prompt#‘Alfred get the Guy’#‘you haven’t even left the house today’#‘my dad senses are tingling and I may need to fistfight another billionaire so have the Other Guy on standby as well’#Bruce becomes Jack Fenton#he went to college and literally built a life for himself at the same time ‘Bruce Wayne’ existed#‘Jack’ just never watched the news#clockwork had to make sure Danny existed so guess what! you’re the son of the bat happy birthday#the nasty burger incident happens but in the two seconds it took to kill everyone#Johnny 13 dragged his ass to another era#he was ordered to by clockwork#I have zero clue how old Bruce was during his timeline shenanigans and idk when it took place either#just work with me on this#please I am begging you#he only got his memories back when the time matches up with Jack Fenton’s ‘death’#Danny loses his dad and then gets him back in the span of 24 hours but now his dad is a billionaire??#well he gets to watch Bruce fistfight Vlad for custody and then stop him from killing clockwork#cause how DARE Clockwork just make him FORGET an entire family he had???#morally grey clockwork#Danny is trying really hard not to become Dan and Bruce is trying really hard to explain this to his other kids#‘no this one is ACTUALLY mine’#‘yes I know I was a teen in Europe when the wedding would have happened’#again don’t know the dc timeline just work with me here#please don’t ask me to continue this I will cry#if someone else does I’d be happy to read it though :))
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zeb-z · 1 year
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my favorite thing about Samakro is how ride or die the man is, yet is so adamant that he’s not. he rationalizes most of it out as being for the greater good of the ascendency, as following his commanding officer well, but it’s really much simpler than that. you earn his loyalty, and he will die for the cause. the ascendancy has his loyalty, and now so does thrawn, personally
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a-lonely-dunedain · 1 month
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Made a new Tossdir on Angmar but forgot how stingy the Before the Shadow intro is about giving out armor. He went to Fearless difficulty at level 4 and became probably my first alt not to achieve The Wary lmao
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novelconcepts · 6 months
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The fucking choking noise I made when I tuned into a podcast for my run and heard a recent favorite actor go, “I’m still on Tumblr, don’t tell anyone.”
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luvuomi · 3 months
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“let me guess…your roman empire is pre released kazuha-” WRONG‼️ its marius von hagen
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deityofhearts · 6 months
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I honestly just don’t get how people default to thinking southern accents are like unserious and unintelligent, I know I live in a bubble and I’ve never been outside of the south so like my world view is skewed but like idk I can’t like conceptualize hearing someone’s accent and going “your accent is too stupid and silly for you to have a brain” like ???
#deity dialogue#sorry I’m rlly half asleep#obvs my worldview is different cause I’m southern I’m surrounded by southern ppl I hear the accent all the time#so it’s like normal obvs but idk it still baffles me#idk if I ever go north are y’all gonna be mean to me cause I talk in a way that y’all perceive as stupid and lesser than how you do??#I’ve already mentioned that even here we aren’t safe from the ‘haha youre a dumbass southern hick’ statements#which is rich cause like bitch who are you to be talking you live here too I don’t wanna hear you call me a red neck cause you’ve been here#for a long ass time to and I’m sure if you went up north they’d be on your ass the same way they’d be on mine#like what gives you the right?#like I will say also that I do make fun of the accent but in the way that lexi and I will be heatedly talking and get more southern with#each word and that amuses and delights us like idk it’s fun to look at someone who just said one word in a more extreme southern accent on#accident and repeat it back to them#but like at the end of the day we like being southern we don’t think there’s anything wrong with it or like inherently worth mocking#plus there’s a difference between two friends being silly and strangers telling you you’re a stupid redneck hick :)#this is also coming from someone who compared to other southern ppl doesn’t have the most strong southern accent (it’s there onvs but ya#know) and I still have to deal with this shit :/#sorry I need to go to bed and shut up no one caressss
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kingkatsuki · 1 year
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It literally blows my mind when people say shit like this. Like you never thought to reblog fanfic, but you’ll reblog any shitpost going like?😭
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anameorsomthing · 10 days
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Lil’man wants to strife
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#I think I’m genuinely going crazy#not sure if it’s like a menstrual thing#or the sleeping 4 hours a night for several weeks in a row#but regardless I feel so Ass it’s gross#I went to sleep in my RV and woke up in my car#I don’t think I drove it but like???? idk#between that and the hallucinations I feel so absolutely fucking dead#I’m so tired and I’m doing my best to be what I need to be but it literally took me hearing g*nsh*ts and screaming that wasn’t happening#and then sobbing for my girlfriend to see I wasn’t doing well#and like now THREE different people have told me to smoke#which is crazy because last semester everyone was mad at me for being a stoner#and now one of the people that was mad about that is telling me to fucking do it anyways.#but I’ve been sober for two months and I’m so mad because how dare you shame me into quitting and then turn around and tell me to turn to#it when shit hits the fan???#like I was in this position when I was a stoner and you blamed me calling me an addict which#I WASNT#And now you’re like “you should turn to drugs!’’#like tell me how the fuck that makes any sense#I’m so tired#I’m so fucking tires#for the past like six mornings I’ve woken up and prayed#I’m not religious#but I keep praying for fucking anything to go right#I just need one happy moment#I’m genuinely so fucking sad and mad and tired#idk how to even properly express my emotions#I’m crying in a truck stop bathroom#that’s how I’ll sum it up#idk if you made it to the end sowwy my metaw heawth is the the shittew uwu#I don’t have anywhere else to put this so 🤷🏻‍♂️ it’s just me talking to the void
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fellhellion · 1 year
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The way Miles accidentally hits what seems to be - given the severity of Miguel’s reaction - such a huge fucking bruise with the “Are those claws? Dude, are you sure you’re spiderman?” and it’s this trigger for Miguel just fucking. Exploding with everything he’s kept under lock and key like. Resentment over the way he seems to feel deeply isolated in the emotional burden of what he does, blaming Miles for what he believes was the catalyst which led to him being in this position (RIPeter’s death), hitting back (verbally) to hurt with the anomaly comments when it’s like dude. If they keep your origin intact, you’re both the so similar, and because this kid is living proof of every doubt you’re trying to suppress.
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redhotarsenic · 12 days
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Need to either disable reblogs or delete the art I drew for cosplayer man I’m sick of seeing it in my notifications
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gregmarriage · 21 days
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i don’t understand ppl who leave their packing, until the last minute. i am already packing and i don’t go anywhere for over a week, imao
#*walter white voice* jesse we need to pack#imao i’m watching brba and thinking about packing at 2am#i actually haven’t started packing but i’m gonna pack all my clothes and just leave everything else until the day before#bc a lot of stuff i still need in the meantime#i also need to put pins on my jacket but that’s a separate thing that i keep forgetting to do#bc i think a lot of my best pins would be better on my jacket#i actually need to work out which clothes i’m wearing#like which ones to pack and which ones i’m wearing on the drive#i’m planning on probably just wearing sweats and a regular ass shirt#and i’ll dress up when i’m actually there#and i gotta make sure i have my meds all sorted#and i need to make sure i don’t forget anything and that i keep everything safe#this post is kinda just me talking to myself imao#but honestly they usually are#okay but like someone tell me to not to pack at 2am bc i can literally do it tomorrow during the day but my brain is like ‘pack now!!’#bc i have it stuck in my head#imao i’m also only going for three days but travelling is a whole thing with me#leaving the house in general is a whole thing with me#what may seem like nothing to some people is a huge deal to me#like wow you’re going on vacation for three days? so what?#but this is only the second time i’ve done this#and the longest i’ll have been away from home aside from when i was in the hospital#so yeah it’s a big deal#the worst part is the travel tho#when i’m actually there i’ll have a fun time bc i did last time#well kinda i also got homesick and was in the middle of a depressive episode but i digress#but this time i’m not! so go me!#gwen actually leaves the house and feels good about it for once!#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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randomtheidiot · 1 month
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God, I fucking hate Red.
#More accurately#I hate his fucking fans#Red’s accomplishments are NOTHING compared to every other protagonist to ever breathe.#Every other protagonist has saved the world. Hell P:LA’s protagonist is literally Ancient Aliens time travel Jesus. Red ain’t do SHIT.#He is not the Messiah figure the fandom makes him out to be. He’s not even the strongest. He gets his ass beat by every other protag.#He won a league like every other protagonist. Mildly inconvenienced Giovanni. Then fucked off to live on a mountain.#He has no canon achievements or events outside of what was confirmed by HGSS and SuMo. He did NOTHING.#His own talent reflects the talent of the person who played as him so obviously fans are gonna dickride him to the moon#The only reason people like him is because they can project onto him.#And god forbid you say the name “Ash” around his fans. That boy’s very existence makes the Red dickriders SEETHE.#Either they demand the public execution of anyone who thinks Ash is stronger/a better person/anything that the anime canon supports#Or they try to consolidate his existence by making him Red’s kid and therefore another one of Red’s achievements#Also they use the Animation Guide canon to back up this theory which is just SO FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL TO DELIA.#Ash’s dad in that canon was a horrible shitty person who got Delia teen pregnant and vanished before his son was born.#And somehow Red being that horrible shitty person is a good and cool thing for his character arc. It’s something to celebrate.#If you want Red to be his dad. That’s fine. It breaks the timeline but sure. But acknowledge what you’re getting into when you use The Book
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zamalie · 9 months
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my favorite criticism of rose quartz is that she wasn’t following proper etiquette in polyamorous relationships like wtf are you even saying. how was she supposed to know. where pray tell was she supposed to uncover this information when she started sleeping with people probably before the beginning of known history and pearl was still in 7 layers of denial about how much she didn’t like it
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