#and then sobbing for my girlfriend to see I wasn’t doing well

[lily-bisque]

៹ this is a repost from my old account ! wc: 7.5k

“fuck,” your exboyfriend!satoru groaned through quivering lips, eyes fluttering his wispy, snowy lashes and threatening to shut. he’s perched over his desk, vision growing fuzzy and trying to make out the image resting idly on this desk.

it’s you. or your thighs, more like it.

his hand is wrenching his shaft, a slow up and down movement he wishes was your cunt, fluttering around him. there was no way in hell he could possibly mimic the feel of your gummy, warm walls that had always managed to threatened to milk him of every. last. drop.

but you’d broken up with him. and it’d been months since he’d last spoken to you, save for the occasional glances towards each other in the halls that would leave the of you flushed and fidgety and his heart aching.

he remembers when you'd snapped this photo, on a date where he couldn’t keep his eyes off your bare and plush thighs below the hem of your skirt, resting in his passenger seat. “a photo’d last longer,” you teased, then grabbed his camera and did the work for him.

he knows he should’ve deleted this, out of respect for you. but he couldn’t do it. erasing any memories of your time spent together—it was impossible for him.

so now all he could do was jerk himself off, biting his lip and gripping the armrest of his chair in his dorm room after attempting to study and giving in to the constant twitching of his dick every time he thought of you. even if it was mid-day and anyone walking in the halls outside his dorm could hear him. fractured moans of your names would echo off his walls as he pictured your tongue slipping over his bottom lip before he’d push his own pink and warm muscle into your mouth.

he felt like some twisted pervert, a peeping tom at your intimate image, utterly obsessed with his ex-girlfriend in degenerate ways.

but, the taste—your taste… it was unforgettable.

the sound of your voice as you pleaded for him to go faster, go harder, or even when simple whimpers were all you could muster as he pounded into you.

the mere thought had pre leaking from his slit and rolling down the veins of his pink length. his grip tightened, slender fingers and veiny hand squeezing for that sweet relief.

tossing his head back onto the headrest, he imagined trailing his fingers down the skin of your waist, gripping it and plowing down into you. your small fingers would make their way onto his shoulders, his back, his forearms to mark him and claw for any sense of mercy from his ruthless pace.

he knew you loved it, though.

he could hear you calling out his name as that familiar coil tightened in his gut, spinning and spinning—

“yes, baby… ngh, m-my girl i’m fuck i-i’m so sorry…” he whimpered out, pure lust rolling off his tongue.

“...satoru-“

his eyes flipped open and he could feel his heart skip a couple of beats. that voice… it wasn’t in his head.

with slow deliberation, gojo turned his head to the doorway.

and there you stood. hand on the doorknob to his door, still wearing your uniform, a few bundles of paper and books in your other hand and your jaw slacked.

but your eyes weren’t on his, or the violating display and mess in his lap. no, it was on his desk.

pretty and innocent orbs bearing onto the printed out image of your thighs on his table, along with a few ropes of his seed from his previous rounds that day.

your breath quickened and he could see the way your mouth trembled to say something, anything. that was when your eyes welled up and gojo felt his heart drop. ripping your gaze from his desk, you walked the books to his bed and turned back to his doorway.

with your back turned to him, you murmured, “professor w-wanted me to drop these off since you uh, missed lecture for your meet.” gojo had been busy with his two out-of-city tournaments, debate and basketball, this past week and was only now catching up.

before he could respond, you stepped out of the room, a small sob leaving your lips, and shutting the door behind you.

gojo felt a lump rise in his throat, and swallowed hard. shame and embarrassment washed over him, along with regret for making you see that. you must hate him now, which was all he could think.

he needed to fix this.

scrambling to shove his cock back into his sweats, he hurried to the bathroom to wash his hands and threw the door open, practically running out of the dorm room and down the hall, frantically searching for you before you could disappear.

he spotted your retreating figure near the stairwell door, before you walked inside, forearms wiping at your face.

following suit, he ran in and called your name at the top of the steps, panting slightly.

you turned your head, looking up at gojo with wet eyes. his grip on the knob tightened, his knuckles nearly turning white.

with your heart rate thrumming in your ears, you found yourself frozen as he neared you, walking down the steps until he stood on the one right above yours and towered over you.

his fresh scent wafted into your nose, a smell you’d missed dearly that made your nose twitch. when you had broken up with him, you didn’t give him any explanation as to why. just simply stating that you had lost feelings and wanted to focus on school.

of course, anyone who knew satoru gojo knew that he wouldn’t let it end there. he had pleaded and begged and bothered you for weeks until you flat out told him that you were disgusted by it all. it wasn’t true, not one bit. every inch of you craved him, wanted—no, needed to be with him.

but after the secret meeting with his parents, they had made it very clear what kind of future they wanted for their son. not one with a girl who had no societal standing, a mere student at his university. he was promised to the daughter of another major corporation and for a merger to occur, the sole heir of gojo group, he must marry their daughter.

gojo had fought it with his parents, day in and day out, and one day they just gave up. he told you that there was a possibility that he was free to avoid this arranged marriage. until his parents practically threatened to make both your life and gojos life, a living hell. they said they would make the two of you hate each other.

so you stepped away. you let yourself distance from him, pushing yourself to believe that this was for the better and he would be happier in that arranged marriage. allowing gojo to think you wanted nothing to do with him.

but as he neared you now, you were scared he could see the small ways your body betrayed you—your hand twitching to touch him, your pupils dilated, goosebumps prickling your skin and your mouth parting just slightly, enough for him to hear your soft breathing.

he sounded out your name, his eyes darting between your left and right one’s. “i’m so sorry you had to… i’m sorry. jesus, i didn’t mean for you to see that,” he breathed out, fingers twitching to come to your side and gently caress you.

when you had walked into his room, the sweet sound of his moans filled your ears and the display before you had a familiar feeling pooling in your gut. he was an idiot—he hadn’t even noticed that he had left his door unlocked, which you had twisted open after a few unanswered knocks, nor did he notice you standing there and of course he was too stuck in his fantasies to hear you calling out his name a couple of times.

but when your eyes landed on his desk and the name trickling from his plush, cherry and wet lips—your heart nearly stopped. that picture… you remember taking it. and here he was, pleasuring himself to the thought of you. touching himself in some fantasy and imagining doing god knows what to you.

you’d never seen him like this. this distraught and frantic, milky strands of his locks sticking to his forehead and adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. he looked carnal, primal. the grunts that left his mouth rippled immense pleasure over your body and you relished in it. you missed it.

and then that familiar wave of guilt washed over you. you had broken his heart and left him to pick up the pieces. it was obvious he still felt for you after all these months of you avoiding him.

calling out his name to announce your presence, you weren’t expecting the familiar feeling to be bitter on your tongue, making your gut twist. you had no right to intrude like this, eyes welling up in an undeserved longing.

he looked flustered and you set the books you had forgotten you were holding onto his bed before hurrying out.

the tears came faster than you expected, feeling as if your heart was beating too loudly in your ears and you held back your sobs.

yet, he followed you out into the stairwell. why? was he upset that you had intruded so rudely? or maybe he had something to say to you after all this time—pent up anger and frustration to release onto you.

but no. right now, his face searched yours in what looked to be worry, concern painting his expression and he even lettered an apology?

“n-no,” you mumbled and you saw the way he flinched, hearing your voice again. “i shouldn’t have just walked in… ‘m sorry.”

he turned away from you, wrapping his hand over his nape and sighing. “didn’t mean to make you cry. i honestly didn’t think i’d get to talk to you again… i wish it’d been on,” he coughs and scratched his head, “better circumstances.”

you looked up to meet his gaze and saw a gentle, familiar smirk creeping upon his lip. he found this funny? you couldn’t help but mimic his expression, a soft chuckle leaving your lips.

at the time, you had no idea how much hearing your laughter healed him.

“maybe better circumstances could’ve been you finishing,” you teased, feeling your cheeks flush at the dirty comment.

his brow arched and he slid his hands into his pockets, head tilting and studying your expression. “you don’t mind that i… get off to you?”

the heat that pooled in your cheeks only got warmer, hearing his low voice make such a lewd comment. ���n-no, not at all. i really don’t mind. i didn’t even know you still had any pictures of mine,” you rambled, lowering your gaze to your fidgeting fingers.

“like hell if i’d delete anything of yours.”

your head snapped back up to meet his gaze, his eyelids low as he watched you. what the hell does that mean?

“you didn’t?”

“i meant everything i had told you back then. that you were my one and only. even if you don’t want me…” he trailed off, lifting a hand to your face and your breathing stopped. using those slender fingers of his, he curled a strand behind your ear and you leaned into the touch, a whimper nearly leaving your throat at the action. “i’ll only ever want you.”

every nerve in your body was on fire, feeling your knees nearly buckle at the touch of his you so dearly missed.

“please,” you pleaded out breathlessly, eyes shutting as you nuzzled your cheek into his hand. tears welled in your eyes as your fists clamped shut, your entire body now remembering its resolve. “forget about me.”

“no. i don’t know where i went wrong, my love. fuck. i’ll die before i do that. i just need to fix whatever i did and then you’ll want me again… i’ll figure it out.”

how did he look so handsome when he sounded so toxic? so needy.

moving your cheek from his hand, you turned away and bit your lip so hard you nearly drew blood. “i’ve already forgotten all about you. save yourself the hurt and just… do the same.” despite your nerves, your voice steeled itself and came out even colder than you’d expected it.

he placed his hand onto your forearm and squeezed, firm but gently, as his gaze pierced through your back. “that’s a fucking lie and we both know it.”

“i can’t keep doing this. you can’t keep doing this. it’s exhausting and,” you felt your voice cracking as you imagined all the nights you’ve sobbed yourself to sleep due to the aching in your chest, a corroded hole that wouldn’t stop bleeding. “it doesn’t matter how either of us feel. w-we can’t be together,” you spat, refusing to meet his gaze.

his chest heaved, confusion and anger bubbling to the surface at your stubborn resolve. “who the fuck says we can’t be together?” his growl made your stomach twist.

you couldn’t reply. you’ve already said too much and mentally slapped yourself for it. you couldn’t tell him that his parents would never give him the blessing of your relationship, so you kept your mouth shut.

but this was all news to gojo, there had always been a piece of the puzzle missing and he was only now realizing where he could start.

he spoke out your name in such a flat and dry tone that the guilt in your chest only blossomed. “who the fuck said something to you?”

before you could reply, someone had pushed the door open at the top of the steps and you wrenched your hand from gojos grasp, basically pushing him away.

quickly wiping your tear stained cheeks with your hands, you turned to meet his gaze with a whisper. “goodbye, satoru.”

and with that, you hurried back down the stairs and out of the stairwell. you had left gojo standing there in confusion, his heart and mind racing with pain and confusion.

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gojo spent the next couple days, attempting to track you down. however, you, ever the avoider, managed to slip from his predatory search and basically locked yourself in the confines of your friends dorm room.

“why don’t you just talk to him?”

stuffing your head into her pillow, you let out a loud sigh and kicked the bed.

“because, shoko, i know what he’s like. he won’t just… roll over and accept his parents saying no to us. he’ll make sure to never leave my side, he’s stubborn like that and it’ll make it hard for the both of us. i can’t turn him against his family.”

“you’re stubborn just like him. s’like you were made for each other,” she drawled, tapping away at her phone without even sparing you a glance.

propping yourself up in your side, you watched the way her lips curled up at the device illuminating her face. “who’re you texting all giddy?”

“utahime,” she stated plainly, waving her phone in your face then going back to texting her.

“and you say i’m stubborn,” you whined, laying on your back and staring at your ceiling. “why don’t you just ask her out, you idiot?”

“because, stupid, there’s a system to it. a method to my madness. i’ve got it all planned out and it’s gonna be a night to remember.”

she continued to ramble about her marvelous plans at swooping the shorter girl off of her feet and they made you a tad bit jealous, melancholic even. your mind rolled back to the day gojo had asked you out, inviting you to one of his basketball games where he made the winning shot then pulled out a giant poster in front of the entire gym reading “i’d love to be the star player in your game of love.”

everyone talked about it for weeks to come and you couldn’t help but relish in it. gojo had a way of making you feel like the only girl in the world.

“knock knock. anyone home?” without you noticing, shoko had made her way over to you and was tapping your skull, making you seat her hand away. “what’s got you so focused you can’t hear me yelling at ‘cha?”

you shook your head, propping yourself up on your elbows. “sorry. what were you saying?”

she waltzed over to her desk and grabbed her bag that was slung over the chair. “i’m staying at utahime’s tonight. so you get the dorm to yourself, you don’t need to go back to yours. i know you wanna avoid him at any cost.”

you nodded your head and gave her a soft smile while she watched you, a bit of careful concern washing over her face. “you gonna be okay?”

“mhm! i’ve got my manhwa and my snacks. i’ll be perfectly fine. make sure to use protection!”

the last comment had you giggling and her slithering out of the dorm room with a final goodbye.

the next couple hours, you tossed and turned in shokos bed, flipping through the pages of your manhwa and snacking on your pretzels. once it had neared midnight, you realized you hadn’t brought any pajamas or skin care this morning so you slid a pair of sneakers on and left the dorm room.

shokos dorm was only a few blocks from yours. the walk over was quick and you hurried up the steps to the second floor and into the hall where your room was.

as you neared, you noticed a figure propped up on the floor outside of your room. you warily slowed down and squeezed your eyes to make out who was so close to your room.

“shit,” you murmured, realizing who it was. but before you could turn around, his head popped up and those cerulean orbs connected with yours. his face looked tired, eyes heavy with exhaustion. yet, he jumped to his full height and made his way towards you in the short hall.

you couldn’t escape now. he would just chase you down. for now, you’d just have to figure out a way to push him away.

he stopped before you, those beautiful ocean eyes of his assessing you. “are you okay? where have you been?” that velvety, low voice of his was laced with a concern that guilted you. he was worried?

“at a friends,” you mumbled and looked past him, wondering if you could outrun him to your dorm.

his hand twitched as his gaze made its way down your casual outfit. “…your boyfriends?”

your head nearly snapped to match his gaze, basically ogling as he anticipated the worst. “what?”

“do you have a boyfriend? is that who you’ve been staying with these past couple days?”

your eyes observed that familiar jealous glint he got, the clenching of his jaw and the furrowing of his brows.

maybe if he thought you had a boyfriend then he would move on, leaving you in his past.

“y-yes. i’ve been… staying with him.”

he let out the most twisted scoff you’d ever heard, turning his head and gritting his teeth. you’d never seen him this angry before, his eyes glowing with a murderous intent.

“does he make you feel better than me?” he asked, still not meeting your gaze.

“w-what?” how were you supposed to answer this and what exactly did he mean?

slowly turning his head to meet your gaze, you felt your body tremble under his frustrated expression, the rage nearly radiating off of him.

“does he fuck better than me?”

your mouth nearly went slack, trembling as you struggled to answer. what were you supposed to say?

he let out a tsk, along with a bitter laugh. “s’what i thought,” he drawled, inching closer to you. you stepped backwards as he preyed on you until your back hit a wall.

lifting a hand, he placed it beside your head and leaned in. you could hear his inhale as he breathed in your scent. his exhale was shaky, as if he couldn’t tolerate letting it out. “baby…”

you didn’t mean to let out a whiny “mhm,” as if he had commanded answer from you, or you had missed the endearment.

“can i touch you?”

when he had pushed you against the wall, you had shut your eyes in instinct, too afraid of his close presence and how it would make you act. but now, they fluttered back open and you had full view of his gorgeous features.

greedily, you took them all in—his snowy and silky hair you remembered the feeling of under your tight grip, those lovedrunk, blue eyes of his that unraveled you under his gaze, those lips you missed kissing until you couldn’t breathe, that jawline you’d caressed whenever he’d touch you, that throat of his you remember leaving spotted with love bites, oh the list could just go on.

gojo enjoyed watching you watch him, letting yourself go possibly for the last time. and if it was for the last time, he’d be okay with it. he couldn’t let understand why you didn’t want him anymore but he would allow you to come back to him for whatever you needed from him.

you nodded slowly, a gulp rippling down your throat as your hands came up to his chest and rested there.

“touch me.”

the words that trickled from your lips went straight to your ex-boyfriends cock, blood rushing to his erection and creating a tent in his slacks.

his eyes trailed down to your lips and he let out a breathy exhale as you so greedily savored in his scent you dearly missed. the lingering fragrance of his signature body wash, fresh and cloying like the sweets he had always consumed.

“yeah?” his voice was low and sultry as he lifted a hand to your waist, his fingers ghosting over the dip. your back curved just slightly, arousal rippling through your body and trembling from his light touch.

your gaze was glued to his lips before sliding up to his eyes and you had to stifle a whine. with low lids, he was watching you with such a fervor that looked almost primal. like a tiger that’d been starved for days and planted its eyes on its newest meal.

“where do you want me to touch you, baby?” those simple words blossomed a heat in your chest, your heart thrumming in your ears as your lust began to take over.

you knew you shouldn’t—it would be wrong to give in again when you knew the two of you wouldn’t work out. the thought alone was enough to well tears in your eyes.

“hey, look at me.” with his slender fingers, he lifted your chin to match his gaze. leaning in, he breathed gently against your lips, “don’t think too much.”

that was enough for you to push forward and crash your lips against his, wrapping your arms above his shoulders. your small fingers found their way into his snowy tresses, running your digits across the familiar silky feeling and tugging him closer.

he took the chance to lift you up, his large hands finding their way to the underside of your plush thighs. wrapping your legs around him, you didn’t mean to let out a moan into his mouth when his crotch rubbed against your clothes crotch.

“f-fuck,“ gojo said, bowing his back ever so slightly at the contact that only made him more sensitive. he took the chance to push you against the wall and his fingers gripped against the flesh of your ass.

your tongue always found its way pushing into his mouth, attempting to fight for dominance and losing every time to his. he found it cute and the thought that you haven’t changed had his heart beating even harder against his ribs.

“n-not here, ngh,” you whined out, pulling from the kiss and looking around the empty hall. gojo grinned, eyes never leaving your flustered figure. your cheeks were flushed and there was a bit of saliva on your lip.

leaning in, he licked it away and chuckled. “still not a fan of the whole exhibitionist thing?”

slapping his arm, you felt the heat creeping up your neck and a frown crossing your face. “put me down.”

he pouted but agreed, letting you down gently and towering over you. digging into your pockets, you pulled out your keys and walked around your ex-boyfriend to unlock your door.

pushing it open, you shoved your hands into your pockets and signaled with your head that he could come in.

as he carefully entered your space, his eyes flickered around your dorm room that had changed quite a lot since he’d last been here.

when the two of you first started dating, your room was adorned with soft pastels and colors, along with plenty of pretty decor. he knew what a girly girl you were at heart.

but now, as he stepped in, he’d barely recognized the space. it was darker, with blackout curtains and lacked the color it initially had. there was little vibrancy and it seemed you’d gotten rid of a lot of things.

“you plannin’ on transferring?” he teased, though the underlying concern in his tone didn’t go unnoticed. the sight would have anyone wondering if you were in the process of moving out.

“no, i just…” you trailed off, feeling a bit vulnerable under his gaze. he peered around your room with his hands clasped behind his back and studied his surroundings. you began fidgeting with your fingers as he turned to look at you. “…got sick of all the color.”

he raised an eyebrow, walking over to you as those blue orbs flitted over your figure. “and why’s that?”

you shrugged, unable to look him in the eyes as he loomed over you.

“talk to me, baby.”

your eyes welled up, but you blinked the tears away rapidly. a hand stroked the top of your head before resting against the back and tilting your head upward.

gojo could feel his heart twist, seeing the saddened expression on your face, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

the words tumbled from your lips quicker than you wanted them to, “i missed you.”

you could hear the way his breath hitched, pupils dilating and darting between your left and right eye. there was an unreadable expression flickering across his face as if he was thinking something through—before he leaned downwards and placed another kiss against your lips. this kiss was different, it was less needy than before—instead laced with a heavy longing that pulled tears from your eyes.

cupping your cheeks, his large hands rested on the sides of your face and angled your head upwards for more access to your mouth that trembled against his.

the tears trailed down your cheeks, and gojo could taste salt on his tongue. your small hands found themselves against his bulking biceps, squeezing for some semblance of stability. he walked you backwards, until you felt your bed against the back of your knees, making you sit down.

with the kiss now broken, your wet eyes looked up at gojo who looked at you with an unreadable expression. his hand continued to stroke your hair as he took in your beautiful form. “you wanna do this?”

you nodded your head, refusing to break eye contact as he brushed his thumb over your cheek to wipe away a tear, then pushed that digit between your parted lips.

pressing down on your tongue, you held back the need to gag.

“so pretty and messy f’me, ‘n i haven’t even done anything yet.” those cerulean orbs of his flickered across your tear-stained cheeks, puffy eyes, quivering lips and the sight only made him harder.

he continued to press down and your hands found themselves against his wrist as a gag left your lips.

his other fingers cupped your chin and pushed you down until your back hit your comforter, rolling your tongue against his thumb.

you felt a cool touch slip under your hoodie and find its way to the hem of the sweatpants you were wearing. tugging them down, gojo left your bottom half in only your panties.

you could hear a scoff leave his lips as your eyes glossed over with lust, boring into the ceiling. “you get this wet for him?”

with furrowed brows, you glanced your head down at gojo who was staring at your lower half. the flush in your cheeks only got worse as you attempted to shut your legs and he used his free hand to push your thighs open with consecutive tsks.

seeing you like this, something in gojo’s head clicked.

“ya’ know, you don’t gotta lie about having a boyfriend,” his hot breath warmed your panties and just then you could finally feel just how soaked you were.

this whole ordeal felt embarrassing—it was like he could see right through your facade but you were adamant about keeping it up. “m’ not l-lying,” you whined after he pulled his fingers out of your mouth and pushed your legs further apart, causing you to squirm against his firm grasp.

a curious finger of his trailed up on the wet spot through your panties and you let out a stifled gasp, arching your back and gripping your sheets.

“s’ not what she’s telling me,” he groaned, his voice an octave lower and practically growling into your clothed cunt.

“shut up,” you attempted to spat but it came out breathy, wriggling yourself to free yourself form his grasp. he let out another patronizing laugh and removed his hands from your thighs.

you finally looked down after being too shy to meet his gaze, then seeing him walk over to your bedroom door to lock it.

an audible gulp of yours echoed through your room, finally understanding rhetorical situation you had gotten yourself into, as he turned back to you, feeling the pure lust rippling off of his form. he towered over you again, tugging his shirt off and handing it to you.

“can’t have you bein’ too loud. bite into this if you gotta,” he smirked down at you, knowing you were gonna, and kissing your jaw gently before trailing a hand down to your panties and working them off with such a teasingly slow pace. while he did so, he admired you, white locks dangling from his head and framing him so beautifully.

your hands found themselves up to his hair and tried to pull him up to your lips but he wouldn’t budge. your hazy stare found his eyes hovering over yours, a confused and somewhat fucked out expression already painting your face.

before you could ask why he wasn’t doing anything, cold fingers found themselves brushing your entrance and pushing into you.

your mouth dropped into a sweet o shape, one that gojo mimicked with a mischievous grin, breathing out with you as you did. “still tight as ever, huh?”

a loud moan echoed through your room as those 5-inch long double digits plunged even deeper, finding your sweet spot, the same area he’d discovered the first time he had you like this.

but before the pleasure could continue, those digits pulled themselves out and an empty whine left your lips.

“tch. what did i say? y’don’t need the entire campus to remember how good i make you feel, hm?” he grabbed the shirt you had tossed aside in a frenzy and held it to your face. “bite.”

and that’s what you did. his commanding tone had you clenching around nothing. your teeth clamped down on the cottony fabric, the scent of him enough to have your eyes glaze over once more.

“good girl,” he drawled out, leaning up to place a kiss to your forehead before inching his fingers back in. your gummy walls clamped down on the intrusion, your juices oozing out and drenching his hand.

“mmm, how’s that feel sweetheart?”

all you could do was grit your teeth down into the fabric to mask your whines and moans. it was hard for you to keep quiet—gojo remembered and loved it. he relished in the thought that he could overstimulate you from barely working you open and you were always so loud.

your lack of response only made him all the more feral, pushing those slim fingers further into you and you let out the most sultry whine into his shirt he’s ever heard. drool trickled down your chin, his scissoring fingers nearly pushing you to the edge.

the last time you’d spent the night with someone, it’d been with some asshole you met at the bar and he gave you a total of 10 seconds of foreplay along with orgasming inside of you with a rubber after 3 seconds.

you’d thus been celibate.

so this treatment, after nights spent with your hands in your panties and moaning your ex-boyfriends name to yourself, you’d sorely forgotten just how good he really made you feel and how you lacked at mimicking his hands.

gojo knew it too. he called bullshit now—with his newly learned information giving him the justified confidence of working you like this.

a coil began knotting in your gut, finding yourself lifting your hips to match his speed, the heel of his hand slapping against the hood of your clit. your fingernails clawed against his back, leaving red marks as you neared your high, jaw tensing.

while you thought it couldn’t get any worse, gojo leaned down and sucked on the exact spot he knew would have you seeing stars, his snowy tresses tickling your bare skin. his free hand found its way up your hoodie and began kneading with your buds and squeezing the mounds. those thighs of his pushed the underside of yours so wide, keeping you nice and spread for him.

you had no idea how he was stimulating all of these spots at once but all you knew was that you were close, and he did, too.

before you could gush all over his fingers, he swiftly pulled them out and lifted himself off of you. he wasted no time pulling your hoodie off of you and tossing it to the side with haste. he moved down and angled his head between your thighs once more, admiring the mess he’d created.

“fuck, i missed this,” he groaned before nudging his face between your folds.

a stifled yelp left your lips, quickly grabbing his shirt and covering your mouth once more, preparing yourself to keep quiet. you could swear, through the daze of lust, that you could hear him whisper “good girl” into your sex.

like a man deprived of water, he began lapping up at your juices messily, his tongue diving in and out of your folds with vicious tenacity, slurp sounds resonating through your room.

“you, ngh, taste as good as i unh… remember.”

your free hand that wasn’t muffling your moans found its way to gojos hair, unsure if the overstimulation wanted him to delve deeper or to get away.

he pushed his wet and long tongue through that ring of resistance.

“f-fuck… ‘toru,” you whined through his shirt, and that had his tongue pausing. he pulled away and met your needy gaze, your juices mixed with his saliva dripping down his chin. he pulled the shirt from your mouth like a madman and tossed it.

“say that again, baby.”

you blinked, an innocent confusion on your face before he began ravaging you once more.

“slow mnh… slow d-down,” you gasped, eyes widening at the sudden stimulation.

“not mmmf… till… you say that… fuck, again.”

his tongue made one long languid strip up your throbbing core that had your thighs going weak, to which he brought them over his shoulder. his nose nuzzled against your bundle of nerves that had you nearly pulling his hair out . “r-right t-there mmmf.. ‘toru!”

his fingers slid back inside and pushed against that sweet spot, and with a bite of those canines over your clit, it was enough to send you over the edge and releasing your pleasure through a strangled and broken scream of his name once more.

those dexterous digits continued to work you open, riding out your high on his fingers and face and releasing an ocean of juices along the lower half of his face. once you’d calmed down, he pulled away and slipped those fingers into his mouth, the lewd display making you twitch.

“sweet as a cupcake,” he compared, teasingly licking his fingers and winking at you. the view made you giggle and cover your flushed and sweaty face.

“oh, come on… you don’t want a taste?” pulling your hands from your face with his, the admiring smile on gojo’s face made you obediently drop your jaw with a grin, to which he spit in. “swallow.”

gojo loved how obedient you were, towering over you and brushing a hand over your forehead to remove the stray hairs. placing a hand on your waist, he watched you and another grin tugged at his lips. “sweetheart, you will never fail to astonish me with your beauty.”

the sudden confession had your eyes widening as a familiar knot now spun in your core, your pussy clenching around nothing. “toru’…” you trailed off, eyes searching his.

“yes, my love?” the endearment had your mind spinning with infatuation and lust, as if your eyes could gloss over again.

“n-need you,” you breathed out, angling your hips to his clothed crotch.

at your confession, gojo wasted no time slipping his slacks and boxers off and your gaze flickered down to his length, eyes widening at his angry, pink and pale shaft. you remembered your ex-boyfriend was massive, but seeing it again after all this time was truly shocking.

“don’t worry, we’ve made it fit before,” his cheeky comment came out breathy as he rubbed his tip against your drooling folds, mixing with his premature cum and slipping around. your hips lifted to push against his dick, attempting to slide him in.

a stifled gasp left gojo’s lips, lashes fluttering, as he finally pushed forward, barely an inch in as he squeezed your hips with such a grip that you were sure you’d have bruises by tomorrow.

“f-fuck, you’re, mmnh, so tight…” did you just make gojo stutter? yes. yes you did. you were the only person to have the smartest and richest person on campus stutter.

you brought your arms underneath his and hugged his body to yours, his forearms falling beside your smaller frame. the size difference between the two of you was previously forgotten, as you gazed directly into his neck as he shoved himself deeper. to stifle your moans that were increasing in volume, he brought a hand up to cover your mouth and finally bottomed out.

a scream was muffled into his hand, the stretch so painful but so good.

“doin’ so g-good for me, m’angel,” he breathed out, his meaty tip kissing your cervix. he was so deep in you, your eyes widened as you early choked on your breathing, his cock shoving into your lungs.

through his painfully slow thrust, he noticed you’d grown quiet, lifting his wet palm from your lips, drool trickling down your cheeks with a fucked out expression. he was nervous you were on the verge of passing out.

just gently, he tapped your cheek and halted any movement inside of you. “baby, breathe. look at me.”

your eyes glossed over to him as your chest began lifting in breaths again, the influx of air only making you groan out again. “there we go,” he drawled out with such a confidence, lifting his hand to cover your mouth again and thrusting slowly to allow you to adjust.

with lashes clamped shut, you braced yourself for each sloshing jam of his cock into your pussy. with the hand not muffling you, he wrapped his arm around the top of your head to push you down onto his length, utterly manhandling you.

your screams rattled out into his hand, his breathing picking up as he huffed out, shoving himself deeper and deeper with each push. “s-so good for me, so mmm fucking perfect, you s’made f’me,” he breathed out, praisingly. and soon enough, the cock drunk girl you were, watched your ex-boyfriend become entirely pussy drunk, babbling out every thought in his dazed mind.

“takin’ me s’well, gonna fill… gonna fill you up,” he groaned. “gonna stuff ya with ma babies.”

eyes widening open, you met his gaze down at you, and the man looked crazed off of your cunt. “that… that okay? pump ya full of my… my fucking seed?”

his words made you clamp down on him, the thought rushing straight to your core as your high neared.

“f-fuck, baby. don’t d-do that mmmngh. need ya to l-let me know.”

like a mad woman, you bobbed your head up and down, legs wrapping around his waist. a fucked out grin lifted on his lips, pushing himself somehow even deeper into you with each thrust.

“yeah? want me to fuck you full of my babies?”

another whiney groan left your lips as you nodded your head up and down, shutting your eyes.

an idea popped into gojo’s head at the thought. “gotta make sure t-this… sticks,” he groaned and you felt shuffling. he lifted both hands far above your head, gripping your comforter and shoved himself so deep inside of you that it sent you over the edge, sexually and physically.

without his hand to muffle your sounds, you were positive you’d receive a noise complaint now.

“fuck! toru’!” you screamed, pussy clamping down on his shaft as liquid began to spray from your cunt.

you were squirting. gojo made you squirt.

the wet feeling of your juices along with your tight and snug cunt had the veins of his length bulging, before the slit released ropes upon ropes of cum into your cervix, bullying their way inside so painfully yet so pleasurably.

he moaned out your name, shoving you up and up your bed with each thrust as ribbons of seed leaked from his tip and dribbled out of your pussy. the man made sure to allow the both of you to properly ride out your highs, vein in his forehead bulging as his breaths shuttered.

your arms and legs fell slack against the wet sheets as he pulled out of you, admiring the juices drip from your nearly abused cunt. the orgasm had you twitching and trembling beneath him.

sleep could’ve taken you then and there, but the fluttering in your heart remained. glancing up at your boyfriend, he folded your legs to the side to give you some semblance of dignity, then walked to the bathroom. hot and wet rag in hand, he sat beside you and cleaned you up gently and cooed you with each soothing wipe.

“toru’,” you whispered, watching him quietly.

“yes, sweetheart?” he continued to clean you up but turned his gaze to you. how could someone look so pretty after a session like that? the afterglow was insane, making your heart wrench.

“i’m sorry,” you muffled out, steeling yourself to push him away. you’d managed to stay away from him for so long, the thought of having to undo all of both of your healing from each other sounded exhausting.

he watched you quietly before setting the rag on your nightstand, then pulled your back up to his chest. leaning against your headboard, he held you in his arms and stroked your thigh softly, tracing imaginary circles.

“i spoke with my parents.”

your head spun around to meet his gaze, the unsubtly of your reaction earning a chuckle from the white haired man. “put two n’ two together the other day, when you said we couldn’t be together.”

you clasped your eyes shut, turning away in embarrassment at your idiocy. he obviously figured that someone that wasn’t you, was keeping the two of you from being together. aka his evil parents.

“ya’ know, i think you did that on purpose.”

“h-huh?” what does that mean? you turned back to him and furrowed your brows.

“think you just wanted your knight-in-shining-armor to come and swoop down to fix things. that’s my pillow princess, everyone,” he teased, making you elbow his side with giggles when he tickled yours.

“…were they mad?” you asked after a few seconds, turning your gaze to his large hand on your bare lap and fiddling with it.

“fuck yeah. but so what? when i get my girl pregnant, they can’t do nothin’,” he stated plainly.

the thought made your eyes widen, realizing the situation you just put yourself in after your fucked out decision. “well. nothing better than being knocked up in college, don’t’cha think?”

pushing his head into the crook of your neck, he let out a low chuckle that made you squeeze his hand. “think your boyfriend’ll be pissed off?”

“oh yeah, my totally real, not fake, totally not imaginary boyfriend? he’ll kill you. can you handle that?”

“course’ i can, sweetheart. i’m the strongest on campus.”

[canibalistic-brownie]

.

[g4rvez-r3id]

I’m Here, Now

Post Prison! Spencer Reid x Girlfriend!Fem Reader

Synopsis: Your boyfriend, Spencer gets released from prison and you’re his first stop after dealing with Cat Adams and her schemes. And all he wants to do is see you and love you.

Category: Smut, Fluff

Warnings: 18+ MDNI established relationship, prison arc, spoilers of season 12 of Criminal Minds, it’s a lil sad tbh but it only lasts for a second, reader’s in disbelief, spencer and reader being cutesy, crying, kissing, mentions of bruises, threats, sappy speeches, fluffy ending, lowkey not true to 12x22/13x01 so this could be an au! smut warnings: soft!dom spencer (firm believer here🙋‍♀️), a lil body worship from reader to spencer, oral sex (m receiving & reader receiving), facefucking, cum swallowing, “good girl”, riding, unprotected sex, mentions of masturbation, creampie, overstimulation, spencer lowkey being a munch- that should cover it 😃

Author’s Note: hey lovelies, i can’t stop writing smutty oneshots ahhhh i can’t help it, i just love my man 🤭 i hope y’all enjoy this because i’ve had my mind on prison arc reid bc i’m watching s12 rn and oooo he so fine in 12a and in 12b 😩 anyways hope y’all like this <3

You worried that maybe he’d never come back. Upon hearing he was in jail in Mexico, you worried you’d never see Spencer again.

If your past self could tell you that your boyfriend, Dr. Spencer Reid, who was a nerd at heart, who spent his free time playing chess and reading and watching Doctor Who with you under your fluffy blankets and wore mismatched socks because he believed it was good luck, that he would one day end up being framed and sent to prison, you would’ve laughed in your face.

You never would’ve expected this to happen. But then you heard why. He was framed for murdering a woman named Nadie Ramos, who was helping him get his mother medicine that seemed to calm her from her episodes. If there was anyone he would’ve risked everything for besides you, it was his mother.

And to be honest, you were a little mad at him for lying to you. He told you that he was going to Houston to talk to some of his mom’s doctors. You’d been together four years now and not once did he ever lie to you until now. When he got transferred to the Milburn Correctional Facility, due to overcrowding, he’d requested to see you and only you.

It wasn’t until Spencer wrote you a letter, practically begging you to come and see you. The first time you’d gone to see him, you actually didn’t even recognize him, skipping over him and almost staring at him in confusion when he walked over to the other side of your plexiglass.

And you tried to play it off like you expected him, even while looking like he did, but he knew deep down you didn’t recognize him. He chose not to acknowledge it but you both knew.

And you visited him frequently, until he decided to cut you from the visitor log with no warning. You were hurt, to say the least. And you ended up avoiding everyone after that. You even ignored the many fruit baskets Garcia kept sending over but you kept sending them back.

But then a miracle happened.

They proved his innocence. And he was out.

You would’ve found that out if you’d checked your phone but you spent the entire day in bed, away from society and sobbing at the fact that he was gone and he wasn’t here, comforting you like he did so well.

You hated him, you hated him for putting you in this position, for making you deal with the aftermath, for pushing you away. But you loved him. You would never stop loving him, no matter how much you hated him right now.

You’d been laying in bed, tossing and turning all day as the TV played some random sitcom you watched every now and again. And you’d heard something. A soft knock coming from your front door.

You almost missed it but it was faint. And you heard it. Choosing to finally get out of bed, you opened your room door and walked to the front door. You opened it without checking the peephole, because at this point you’d had enough and just wanted death to get you over with already.

But death may have stopped your heart only for a moment when you open the door.

Because standing there, in the suit he’d gotten arrested in when his bail was denied, his hair outgrown and his stubble framed nicely on his face — was your boyfriend, Spencer Reid, in the flesh.

You gasped softly as you backed away from the door and stared at him, almost as if you were disbelief. You’d had a dream like this before. Where he came back and promised he was here to stay. (But it was another one of God’s cruel jokes and you cried when you woke up the following day).

He walked in and closed the door right behind him, standing tall in front of you. You noticed the bruises on his face, how his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and stared at you.

“Hi.” He said softly and all you can do is stare at him. “Am I dreaming?” You find yourself asking out loud and his heart breaks. He can see that you’re scared. Scared that if you go up to him, he’ll disappear like smoke. And he hates that.

“No.” Spencer shakes his head and he waits for you to approach him and you do, walking slowly towards him as the floorboard creaks beneath your socked feet.

He waits as you first grab his hands, and interlock your fingers together. When that seems not to be enough for you, your hands move to his face. You caress the sharp new grown stubble on his face and drag your index finger to his plump lips and stare into his hazel eyes and they’re full of wonder and love.

You don’t even register the tears until you hold him in your arms and you hold onto him for dear life. He holds you tightly in his arms as you find yourself wrapping around him like a koala and all he can do is hold you back. And it grounds him, you ground him.

Your head moves towards his and you kiss his lips, like you’ve longed to do for three months. And part of you still couldn’t believe this, that he was here, holding you like you were going to break.

You kiss him a few more times before you pull back and ask with tears in your eyes, “Are you okay?” Spencer nods toward your forehead, “I’m okay, now that I’m here.”

“You’re here, now.” You look him in the eyes as you say this and he nods at your words, repeating them to himself. “I’m here, now.” It’s as if he’s reminding himself that he’s here with you because he’s worried he’s gonna wake up any minute and he’ll be back in that cell. You weren’t the only one who had a hard time believing this was real.

Spencer’s lips catch yours and he pushes into the kiss and you get back on the ground, your hands (or mouth) not leaving him for a second and making their way up to his hair and pulling. You whine into his lips as he you pull him by his belt and walk backwards to your bedroom with him following you.

With your strength, you twirl the two of you around and straddle him as you continue to kiss him. You rock your hips into his growing bulge and he moans into your mouth and you smirk in the middle of the kiss.

You begin to unbutton his suit and successfully get his blazer off and now next is his dress shirt but he’s quick to grab your hands and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” You ask, willing to put a stop to this if he wasn’t ready. “Nothing, I just…” Spencer looks down as he lets go of your hands and seemingly now growing insecure all of a sudden.

He stands up from the bed and you look up at him as he holds his arms over his stomach. “I just… I got hurt pretty bad in there. You’re gonna see some bruises. I just don’t want you to freak out. He admits and your heart breaks, “You don’t have to take your shirt off. Or we can just stop entirely and—”

Spencer shakes his head, “No, it’s okay. You’re gonna see them eventually.” With that, he begins to unbutton his dress shirt and you give him all the time in the world to do so, not wanting to rush this at all.

When he takes off his dress shirt successfully, you finally see it. He has bruises everywhere on his ribs and some near his belly button and on his stomach. Some are still in the process of healing with yellow and gray hues and some are purple and mucus green.

“Oh, my love…” You whisper to yourself as you stand up and you turns him around and find more on his back and there’s just too many of them. You find yourself tearing up but you know you need to keep it together for him. Who could hurt your sweet boy? Was this why he didn’t want you to see him anymore while he was still in there? How long did this go on for?

It’s then that you register the bruise near his eye. You thought that it was due to the lack of sleep he’d been getting and assumed it was the bags under his eyes he so often got but it was a bruise. How did you miss that when he walked in?

He almost wants to hide himself, like a turtle under its’ shell and you look down at his body. “Baby…” You start but he shakes his head. “I’m so sorry.”

He looks at you as you guide him towards the bed and he lays back and you go back to straddling him, but this time, you’re careful as you hover over him.

You kiss his lips before making your way down to his neck and then to his body and it takes a second for him to register that you’re not just kissing his body, you’re kissing the bruises.

He feels himself getting choked up as you kiss every visible one and his heart swells for you. What did he did to deserve you?

You begin to unbuckle his belt but he rests his elbows on the bed and looks down at you. “You—You don’t have to…” He trails off but you quickly shake your head. “I know. But I want to. It’s your first night back. This is about you tonight, baby.”

Spencer doesn’t interfere, just stares as you unbuckle his belt and pull out his cock through the hole in his underwear and it springs into action, dripping pre-cum from the head. “Oh, my sweet boy. You must be so pent up.”

You kiss the tip of his dick and he shuts his eyes tightly as if he’s trying to hold back from already cumming. You lick up his shaft and fit his cock inside your mouth and he curses to himself as he grips your bedsheets as tight as he can.

You notice this, grabbing his hand and interlocking your fingers together, as if you’re telling him and giving him permission to touch you as you bob your head up and down.

He takes this opportunity to caress your face as you take him into your mouth. He ties your hair into a makeshift ponytail as he pushes deeper onto his cock and even lifts his hips to ensure that you’re taking all of him until you’re gagging.

“Let me know if it’s too much, okay?” Spencer tells you and you nod to the best of your ability until you begins to fuck your throat, using your mouth for his pent up pleasure. “Fuck… God, you’re so good at that. Letting me fuck your throat like the good girl you are.”

His words could make you cum on the spot without him even laying a finger on you. He rarely cursed in your domestic setting but he did it often when you two were in bed.

All you can do is take it as deep as it can go in your mouth. He whines into the ceiling as he says your name until you feel his hot cum dribble down your throat and your nose is buried into his crotch as he holds you there and makes you take all his cum into your mouth.

He pants as he releases your head from his cock and you swallow the rest of his cum. He looks at you with worried eyes, concerned that maybe he’d gone too far. “I’m sorry, baby. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He asks, like he didn’t just cum into your mouth and call you a “good girl”.

You shake your head at him with a small smile. “That was just about the hottest thing you’ve ever done.” (And everything he did was always hot). He blushes and crooks a smile.

“Are you willing to keep going?” You ask him and he nods with an immediate answer, “Absolutely.” He’d never let you go to bed without making you cum at least twice.

You climb on top of him with a smirk and look deeply into his eyes. They’re filled with lust, love and adoration for you and for you only. “You’re so beautiful.” You say to him in a whisper but Spencer chuckles a bit, “I should be saying that to you.”

You look down as your pussy catches the tip of his cock and you sink down into him carefully. He moans at the feeling and you gasp. He fits perfectly.

“God, I missed you. Missed this…” Spencer catches his breath. “Perfect pussy.” You chuckle and looks into his eyes as you rock back and forth. “It was so lonely without you, Spencer.” You whine. “I missed you so much.”

You lean down as you kiss him on the lips. “Did you…” He pauses, not wanting to be crude even while he was inside of you. “While I was away?” It took a second to figure out what he was talking about. And then you realized that he was asking if you’d masturbated while he was away.

“A few times,” You admitted shyly, despite suffocating him with your pussy. “I thought about you every time. It just wasn’t the same. Missed your body.”

Spencer smiles darkly, “Maybe I should punish you for that.” He says, half-joking. You lean forward as you smirk, “I’d like to see you try.”

And without a second thought, it was as if a switch flipped as Spencer was quick to flip your bodies over and he hovers over you, both hands on either side of your head, gripping the pillows. “You really wanna test that theory?”

You bite your lip and smirk once more as you pull him in for another kiss and he glides himself into you and you gasp at the feeling of his dick inside of your pussy. It’d been such a long time since you felt him like this, here, in your arms. God, you love him.

He rocks his hips, thrusting deeply into your body as leans his head in your shoulder, mumbling sweet obscenities and how good your pussy feels and how responsive you were. He dreamt of the day he’d have you like this. And since being in prison, he longed for it more.

He reached down in between your legs as he found your clit without even looking down and staring deeply into your eyes and your moans reverberate through the walls as keeps his eyes on you and you only.

“Baby, I’m sorry, I need to cum— where? Where?” He asks and you shut your eyes tightly as you shout, “Inside! Oh, god, inside!”

He pushes himself hard into you as you finally cum, your legs shaking as you moan his name into the ceiling and he collapses on your body, still sheathed inside of you.

You both lay there, panting and reveling in the feeling of each other. Eventually, Spencer does pull out of you and you feel as he lowers himself, eyeing your pussy up close and you look down at him sleepily. “Baby, you don’t have to. This was about you.” You assure.

“Nonsense,” Spencer tells. “I need to clean up my mess and even the score, might as well kill two birds with one stone.” He jokes, diving face first into your pussy and you whimper at the contact he makes, especially with the way his stubble is rubbing against your thighs, cleaning his own cum out of your pussy and relishing in the way you both taste.

His mouth captures your clit and he twists his tongue around the bud in that delicious way you love and he moans into your pussy. “We taste so good together, baby. Cum again on my tongue, this time.”

You tug at his messy hair as you hold his head to you pussy and you use him, rocking your hips into his mouth. You feel as your legs shake once more and you let go of his head for him to take a breather.

That breather lasts only a second before he dives back in and you whine at the contact. “Spence… baby, I’m sen—sensitive.”

“You can take one more, baby. I know you can. You can cum again.” Spencer says, his pupils are blown as he looks at you and he’s commanding you to cum again. “Just one more, baby.”

You nod at him and Spencer grabs your hands. “Here,” He interlocks your fingers with his and somehow, the pleasure is so much and yet not at all as makes you cum for a third time tonight. If he could spend forever eating your pussy, he would.

You close your eyes for a moment and when you finally open them, he’s right next to you and holding you. (He’d cleaned you up properly with a warm rag and left your favorite snack and water bottle on the desk next to your bed whenever you were ready to wake up). You remembered the loving words he whispered to you as you drifted off into a heavy slumber.

And you’ve finally woken up. You look up at him, still in awe of him being here. You take the chance to check the time. It’s already 5am and the sun is still shy away from rising but it doesn’t matter. None of it matters because you have your boyfriend right next to you, holding you for dear life and loving you the way you deserve to be loved.

You worry that he’s still up, but you figure that after all those months in prison, maybe he has trouble sleeping every now and again. You find yourself holding him tighter as you look down at the bruise near your head. You can’t believe he was hurt. How did he manage to survive in there? You’re still wondering why he’d taken you off the visitor’s log.

“Spencer?” You ask and he looks down at you, your voice surprising him. “Yeah?” You sit up and look at him, face to face, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Why did you take me off the visitor’s list?” You decide to ask.

He’s about to respond and you don’t want to hear another lie. You’d been through plenty of those already. “I mean, I didn’t even want to see you at first and then you begged me to and then all of a sudden, I wasn’t allowed to. I feel like I have the right to know.”

“No, no, you do,” Spencer knows that much. He hates the fact that he’s lied to you and has forced you to deal with this when all you deserved was the best from him. He sits up next to you he knows he’s gonna need to tell you, even though he doesn’t want to.

“The last time after you came to visit me,” Spencer started. “I got cornered in my cell. A lot of the guys there were asking about you. And they said that it’d be a shame if something happened to you when you came to visit again.” You look down as he talks about it. “And I didn’t want to risk that. And I wanted to tell you, really, I did.” He grabs your hand assuringly. “But I didn’t have any way to. And I didn’t want you to get hurt. I would’ve died if something happened to you and I didn’t do everything in my power to stop it. I’m sorry it went down like it did.”

You shake your head. And you finally understand. Because if the roles were reversed, you would’ve taken him off the visitor’s list, too. If it meant protecting him. “You were just trying to protect me, I understand.”

“I just…” Spencer looks at you, holding your face in his hands. “I love you, so much.” He looks deeply into your eyes. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He reveals and your eyes widen. “What?”

Spencer closes his eyes and holds his index finger up. “One second.” He stands up and grabs his blazer from off the floor and digs into one of the inside pockets and pulls out a red velvet box.

Your eyes widen as you cover your body with the sheet and he kneels down on one knee in his boxers and opens the velvet box to reveal a ring. “I didn’t want to do it like this but I’d rather do it now than wait for the right time to.” Your eyes glance down at the box for a mere second and then to the love of your life.

“I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You make my days better, hell, you’ve made my life better. And no matter what we’ve gone through, you’ve stayed by my side and you never ran. I love that you sing off-key, I love that your nose twitches when you get mad, I love that you like… pineapple on pizza, oddly enough.” You chuckle at this. “I love everything about you. And I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve you. But… but true love, it fosters a connection that goes beyond the superficial. It's a bond that often involves understanding each other's core values, beliefs, and life goals. And you’ve made me believe in true love.“

You stare at him in disbelief as he continues, “Will you marry me?” You feel tears spring into your eyes as you nod vehemently, “Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!” You smile widely and he smiles at you, slipping the ring onto your ring finger as you continue to mutter a million yeses.

When you finally get the ring on, you pull him in for another kiss and he holds you to his heart’s content. It wasn’t the way he envisioned it going, but with you, you knew you didn’t want big and bold ways of him saying he loved you and wanted to marry you, you were content with something small and sweet because it was coming from him and that was the biggest gift of all. You were one for grand gestures, you liked it just the way it was. It was perfect. He was perfect. And you’d spend the rest of your life reminding him he was.

So, you laid back in your bed with your fiancé and talked and talked about sweet nothings until the sun came up. And all of the ache you felt the night before, the pain you endured was long gone and now replaced with something beautiful and sweet.

[writtenbythemoonandstars]

Bedazzled

**This story contains discussions of injury, medical trauma, sexual harassment, and emotional distress. Please read with care!

Dr. Robby's carefully private life is exposed when his girlfriend arrives at the ER after a violent attack. Dana and Collins piece things together when he rushes to her side, revealing a side of himself they’ve never seen.

1.1k words

He never explicitly said he was seeing anyone but everyone in the Pitt knew Robby was at least getting laid.

Over the last few weeks he'd been less high strung. Not snapping at the residents or med students. "Whoever it is I just want to say thank you." Dr. Mohan, Samira, mumbles to Dana.

Heather, Dr. Collins, leans in. "We're talking about Robby's new girlfriend?" She asks. They both nod. "I think she-" Heather is cut off as a young woman, dressed in a tight short red bedazzled dress, limps towards them. A despondent look in her eyes. A hand pressed against her shoulder that oozes blood beneath it, matching the blood running from her nose down her chin. Her long pin straight dark hair messy like it had been pulled on.

Heather immediately jumps into action. "Are you alright?" She asks looking over the woman's body.

"I- I was stabbed." Is all she says. Dana helps guide her to a gurney nearby and she slowly sits down. Dr. Collins walks up to her, gloved up, and gently removes her hand from her shoulder. She winces but stays still. "We are going to take good care of you, okay? Can you tell me your name?" Collins cuts the strap of her dress to get better access to the wound though there wasn’t much of a strap to begin with. Dana supplies her with a blanket.

"Michael… uhm Dr. Robinavitch works here right?" She asks.

Dana and Heather share a look. "Yes he does. He goes by Dr. Robby here."

"Oh.. Uhm.. Okay. Dr. Robby. He-" She jumps when the antiseptic is wiped over her cut.

"Sorry." Heather frowns, continuing her work.

"Honey, can we get your name?" Dana asks, "for your charts. We wanna run some labs."

She gives them her name. "I'm 26." She adds. "And I wasn't raped." Her voice soft. Scratchy. She knew that was the "labs" they wanted to run, at least one of them.

"Have you had an STI check recently?" Dana asks, no judgement in her tone.

"Last week." She nods, "Can I… could I see Dr.. Robina- Robby?"

Dana looks up from the tablet. "I'm not sure he's here yet. Robby works at 7." It was barely 6:30am. "Do you know him?"

No response.

"When he gets here can I see him?" She asks. Biting her lip as tears fill her eyes while Collins stitches her arm.

"When I see him I'll let him know you're looking." Dana offers a kind smile and a gentle hand on her wrist. Then she quietly exits the room.

"What happened?" Dr. Collin's asks, cutting the string, turning to find a large enough patch bandage.

"Was walking home." She begins.

"Alone?" Heather knows all too well what it's like for women walking in the dark. Alone. Late at night.

"My boyfriend usually picks me up from work but he was busy… He didn't answer his phone." She looks down at her hands twisting together in her lap. "I don't live that far. There was this client of mine… I don't do private dances. Not anymore-" She explains. "He was upset that 300 dollars wasn't enough to bribe me after I said no-" There's no need for her to continue, even if the tears or choked sob hadn't cut her off.

"You're safe now honey." Heather reassures her. "You sure you don’t need the-"

"He didn't rape me." She replies sharply, "sorry I-"

"Don't be sorry." A shake of the doctors head. "You need a phone? Call your boyfriend again?"

A nod.

Heather hands her the landline. Then gives her some privacy.

"I'll be there in 20 minutes. Stop harassing me-" Robby's voice half teasing half annoyed when he answers the phone.

"Michael?" Her voice soft. She can practically hear his heart stop beating. "It's uhm-"

"What the hell are you doing in the ER?" He cuts her off.

"Well I- you didn’t answer your phone earlier when I got off- which is fine-" She's quick to excuse, "so I was going to walk-"

"Baby you know how I feel about you walking home alone." His voice sharp. Dominant. But not angry with her. Never angry with her.

"S-Sorry-"

"Fuck honey don't be sorry." He sighs. Guilt filling his body. "I'll be there in five minutes."

"Dr. Collins already stitched me up." She tells him.

"Stitched you up?" his voice tense.

"I- I was stabbed." She hears the mumbled curse words.

No one has ever seen Robby move so fast. Dana points to the closed curtain in the corner of the room. Just having intuition. So much for keeping his relationship, not necessarily a secret but, private. They don't need to know everything about him.

His hands are on her face before she even realizes anyone had entered the room. Her body immediately relaxing. His hands pushing her hair back in that way she knows he does to calm himself more than it calms her down. "Did you hit your head?" He asks.

"No." Her voice soft.

"No fractures?" Robby prods at her nose until she winces and he stops. Sending her an apologetic look.

"I'm not a doctor but no one has mentioned fractured nose to me." She replies.

"You tell the police who did it? It was the fuckin' guy whose been harassing you?"

"I haven't talked to the police yet. But yes it was. She nods.

He holds her hair gently, running his hands through it again. "I'm real sorry I didn’t answer the phone baby." He sounds truly guilty. You'd think he was the one that hit her.

"Not your fault. I know you worked a long shift.." Over time is what he worked. The emotional trauma yesterday caused on top of physical labor.

He sighs. "Can I take you home?" He asks.

Her discharge papers are held up to his face. "Don't you have to work?"

"Haven't clocked in yet. I can be a little late." A kiss is pressed to her head. She leans in to his touch.

"I've also got some clothes for ya." He looks down at her attire. The blanket Dana had given her covering the cut up dress.

"Okay." She nods. He grabs the things she came with before carefully helping her stand. The mild pain killers making her a bit wobbly but she can walk on her own. Except… the shoes she came in with her those God awful high heels.

Robby loves them, don't get him wrong, but not when she's walking around in them.

He throws a scrub top over her head. Letting it fall past her knees and making sure not to irritate her stitches. Then he throws her dress away. "I really loved that outfit." She pouts.

"I'll buy you a new one." He mumbles, helping her into some temporary shoes, carrying the heels along with her other things.

Dana bites her lip, as if she's trying not to say anything when they walk by. He shoots her and Heather a look. That he'll explain later.

He was not looking forward to it.

---

This is my first work on Tumblr (and Dr. Robby) so I hope you enjoy! This is not edited..

[jays-bonnie-on-the-side]

JUST A LITTLE

PAIRING : beau arlen x younger fem!reader

SUMMARY : beau lies before coming clean.

WARNINGS : age gap. strong language. angst. depression. mentions of (you’ll see at the end 😘—don’t worry, it’s not bad)

A/N : sorry for making y’all wait so long! it took me forever to make up my mind on how i wanted to continue this fic. there will be one more part after this so stay tuned but for now, i give you part 2 of are you ashamed? ! (hope y’all ain’t too disappointed with this)

“Wait a second, he did what?” Cassie asks, her eyebrows drawn together.

“And you let him live?” adds Jenny.

You had driven home and attempted to sleep everything off, but you couldn’t; Your mind only raced. After tossing and turning, you decided to seek unbiased advice from your mutual friends. So, you visit Dewell and Hoyt Private Investigations' office.

“I can’t believe he would do such a thing,” says Denise.

“Yeah, well, neither can I. I’ve never seen that side of Beau…” You stare off into the distance, replaying the memories that occurred earlier this morning. “I know he didn’t mean to be rough. I know that. You should've seen the hurt in his eyes when I told him we were done...I don’t know. Maybe I should just talk to him.”

“Well, now’s your chance. He’s coming over.” Jenny points out.

Everyone looks out the large windows, and sure enough, Beau and Emily cross the street, walking right towards the building.

“Fuck,” you murmur under your breath. “I should go. Can I use the back door?”

But he sees you. He sees you in their office. His heart races, and so does his feet. Before anyone answers you, he opens the door. Is it too late to leave? You ask yourself. The answer’s yes. Emily walks in behind her father, a big smile on her gentle face as she greets the ladies with warm embraces. Beau would’ve followed his daughter’s actions if he didn’t feel the tension in the room. He knew he screwed up, and he knew they knew too. Her gaze shifts towards you, smile unfaltering.

She extends her hand, introducing herself, “Hi, I’m Emily.”

You take her hand, and a whirlwind of emotions overcome you. You’ve waited—dreamed—of this moment, but it was nothing like you envisioned, not under these circumstances. Instead, you swallow your feelings and return her bright smile.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard such great things about you. I’m Y/N.”

Beau hadn’t taken his eyes off you. He, too, had many emotions swirling within. Every possible thought rushes to his head, wondering how to play this. He hadn’t expected to see you here, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking for you all over town. Emily could tell he was distracted as they bounced from store to store, but she brushed it off, assuming it was just his hatred of shopping.

“Awe, thank you. It’s nice to meet you, too.” She looks at her dad and sees his stare. She glances between you two. Feeling the tension, Emily asks, “Do you know each other?”

His attention snaps to his daughter, and his breath catches in his throat. She’s my girlfriend, he wants to blurt, but it doesn’t pass his lips. You wait, desperate to hear his answer. It was his chance to come clean, to declare your love.

“No,” He shakes his head, and your heart sinks. Beau looks at you and raises his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Nice to meet you. Like a sucker punch to the gut, you’re left breathless. Your heart shatters into a million pieces. That was it…he made his decision. He erased the last seven months like it was nothing, erased you like it was nothing.

All eyes are on you, waiting for what you'd do next. With a swallow, you choke down on a sob. His hand hangs in the air, and you know if you touch him, you’ll crumble in front of everyone. Your bleeding heart begins to quicken, and your breathing becomes uneven; You need to leave.

"I—" You try to speak, but your voice fails. Tears threaten your vision, and you know you need to get outta there. After clearing your throat, you excuse yourself, "I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Emily."

You bolt of out the office without giving her a chance to reply. This particular afternoon was busier than usual, so you had to park further away. Once you get to your car, you realize you left your keys on Denise's desk. Fuck, you wanted to shout. Just your luck. You couldn't go back in there, not with him there, not with everyone else, and NOT after storming off the way you did.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck! Okay—I can sit inside my car, call one of the girls, and have them bring out my keys. You pull the car door handle, and low and behold, it's locked. Panic sets in. Maybe I didn't pull hard enough. You try again. Nothing. And again and again and again, until you either look like a thief trying to break into the car or a crazy person who can't take a hint. No, no, no. Please don't do this to me! In frustration, you pound your fists against your vehicle. This can't be happening.

You hear footsteps approaching your car, and when you glance over, you see it’s the cowardly man who disowned you. He stops near your front bumper, keys in hand. Why him? Why did he have to come out and give me my keys? It's clear you’re desperately trying to avoid him, but if you ever planned on going home, you needed to engage. With a huff, you walk over and snatch them away.

As you turn around, he grabs your wrist. "Sweetheart, please—"

The stun of your open hand colliding with his breaded cheek interrupts his sentence. The impact had forced his head to the right, and despite the tingling in your hand, you feel the tiniest bit better. Your chest rises and falls as you begin to see red. His head slowly turns to you, reminding himself he deserves that and more.

"Don't you dare try to feed me some lame-ass excuse! Pretending not to know me? You've got to be fucking kidding!" You shout, fighting back tears. "I can't believe I wasted all those months on you, and for what? To be disrespected and thrown to the side like trash? I deserve more!"

"I know that, and I am so sorry. I-I panicked. But I swear, I’m gonna make it up to you. I just need some time—“

“No, Beau. You need someone your own age,” You say bitterly. It was the hard truth, but you both needed to hear it. “It was my mistake for thinking we were more than what we were.”

The overbearing weight of harsh clarity begins to root itself in your soul. He kept you around ‘cause he wanted to, not because he needed you. He didn’t need you like you needed him. You fell head over heels the first time you met Beau, and you were sure he felt the same way, too. Clearly, it was your mistake. You begin to feel weak, so you turn to head back to your car.

"Don't say that..." Then, you faintly hear the words that were now an insult, “I love you.”

As you swing open the passenger door, barely holding it together, you remark, “Well, you certainly have an odd way of showing it.”

After giving him more time than he deserves, you throw your key into the ignition and speed away from your ex, incredibly fragile and numb all at once. That was two rough weeks ago. Beau hadn't slept much since your last interaction, and neither had you. Every night, he'd lay in bed, clutching your bra; It was the only thing he had left of you. When he did sleep, he dreamt of everything as it should be, with you by his side.

He hated being alone with his thoughts. All the horrible things he did to you haunted him. So, on days when he wasn't scheduled to have Emily, he occupied himself with work. Everyone walked on eggshells around him. He was no longer the easy-going Sheriff they all knew him to be. No, he was a ticking time bomb. One wrong move would set him off, but not with his daughter.

One night, he and Emily sat outside as the rom-com of her choice played before them. He didn't want to watch the cheesy love story, especially when his love life was a living hell, but his daughter wore him down. A while into the film, she turned to her father, observing the way he stared through the projector screen. He wasn't even watching the movie. Instead, he was trying his best to ignore it.

A frown crossed her face as her heart ached to see him feeling so blue. Emily wondered if it had anything to do with you. She was both intelligent and intuitive, just like her parents. But it didn’t take a genius to see something was going on between you two, and given the way you had practically run off, it only added to her suspicion. She mustered the courage to speak with her father as he wasn't the most communicative person.

"Dad?"

He turns to his daughter, a distant concern written on his face. “Hmm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Beau looks back at the screen, pretending to watch, but she pulls his attention again. “No, I mean…in general.”

“‘Course, I am,” He lies before asking the question he hoped she didn’t have a valid answer to. “Why’d you ask?”

“Well, you’ve been kinda down lately, and you haven’t been yourself.”

“Well, Em, work’s been—“

“I know it’s not just work. There's something more you aren't telling me. I’ve been talking to Jenny and—“

“Why are you—what'd she tell you?” He inquires sternly, his heart beginning to race. I swear if she fucking told my daughter..!

“Nothing, just to talk to you,” The urgency in his question added to her nervousness, but she pushed through. “Is it because of Y/N?”

His heart stopped at the mention of your name. It was the first time he'd heard it since that horrible day weeks prior. No one knew of Beau's betrayal besides the girls, and no one dared bring you up, knowing they would receive the backlash. He was grateful there hadn’t been someone stupid enough to do so but had felt alone without anyone to talk to, especially when the only person he wanted to speak to was you. You never answered any of his calls, but he remained relentless.

He adjusted uncomfortably in his chair. It was the question he hoped she wouldn't ask. His mouth opened and closed, resembling a fish, as he struggled to answer. He wanted to tell Emily the truth, but the fear crept in. He didn't want to lie anymore. Beau wanted you back, but he was afraid of what his daughter would say.

“What makes you think it’s because of her?” His voice nearly cracked.

“Ever since that day at the office, you’ve been off. I can see how sad you’ve been, and I’ve only ever seen you like this twice: after your partner died and when you and Mom were divorcing. And from the way you and Y/N looked at each other…I don’t know. It seemed like there was something more going on.” He would’ve smiled at her observation if he wasn’t heartbroken, replaying all the memories in his head. She detected his sorrow when she spoke, and despite her reluctance, she asked, “Dad, who is she?”

His heart softened. It was time. He should’ve told Emily all those opportunities ago. She deserved it, and so did you. The two most important women in his life were right about him: He didn’t respect you enough to profess the best relationship he’s ever been in to his family, and he’s never been sadder than how he’s treated you. So he takes a deep breath and confesses.

“She’s my girlfriend. Or was…I don’t know. I’ve hurt her in more ways than I care to admit.”

Emily slowly nods, taking in the not-so-shocking news. She knew there had been someone making him happier than usual. Ever since you came into the picture Beau wasn’t hung up on his ex-wife anymore. Sure, he still cared for her, but if it hadn’t been for his daughter, he would’ve forgotten about Carla completely when he met you. Em was a little concerned about the visible age gap you and her father shared, but she didn’t say so.

“Pretending you’ve never met her in front of everyone was pretty harsh. I can’t imagine how hurt she is.”

Hearing it out loud, especially coming from his daughter, brought tears to his eyes. How could he do that to you? Hell, if someone ever did that to Emily, he’d kill them. He’d make sure the fella would never hurt her again. So, how did he stand a chance at winning you back?

“Yeah,” He nodded as he looked at the ground in defeat. “I wouldn’t blame her if she never wants to see me again. I just…I’m so in love with her.”

“How long have you two been together?”

He swallowed hard. Your anniversary was next week, and he wasn’t ready for it. “Almost eight months.”

“Why haven’t you told anyone?”

He grimaced. “I have. ‘Just haven’t told you or your mom.”

“So you told everyone else before your own daughter?” She was angry, and her tone showed it. “Do I mean that little to you?”

“No, Em, that’s not—“

“Then why?!”

“Because I was scared!” He blurts. “I was scared that you wouldn’t like her. I was scared you wouldn’t approve, that the age gap was too hard to get passed. But none of that matters anymore because I let my doubts push her away. I lost her.”

His shoulders slumped, and his head had hung in dejection. The tears finally fell as he whispered the last sentence again. I lost her. He refused to believe it before, but it was inevitable. He was finally honest with Emily and himself. She had seen her father tear up before but never cry. Her heart ached to see him so distraught.

“If you really love Y/N, you have to fight for her. I can overlook the age gap but you also should’ve given me the chance to, especially if she makes you happy. I want you to be happy, and I know Mom does, too.”

Beau wiped his tears dry, and so did his daughter’s words. “I know. I should’ve told you sooner, and I’m sorry I didn’t.” Despite the newfound comfort, it was too late for him. “But I think I ruined any chance with Y/N. I’ve hurt her for so long…I don’t deserve her.”

“Don’t say that!” Emily insists. “You are an amazing person, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my dad.“

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He gave her a small, lopsided smile.

“You deserve to be happy, and I know she’s the reason you have been. That’s why I already like her. I’d really love to meet her as your girlfriend.”

“I don’t think that’ll happen.”

“If she’s put up with you all this time, I know you can win her back. I’ll even give you some ideas!”

More than anything, he wanted to make you his again. His heart yearned for it. He admired his daughter’s eagerness to help make up for his mistakes. Hope began to fill his soul and gave him the encouragement he needed. And with the first real smile in weeks, he vowed to do whatever it took to win you back.

Meanwhile, back in your apartment, you hold the home pregnancy test in your hand. Your heart pounds out of your chest as you stare at the result.

Positive.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

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[melanchoire]

meyaa!! thoughts on giselle who is so horny for gp!reader that she would let them do anything they wanted? literally anything. she would let them take her from behind, breed her, make her use a leash and fuck her like the needy slut she is, etc.

this ask caught my attention since i received it and i spent all day thinking about it...

cw: breeding, creampie, riding, unprotected sex (👎🏻)

giselle would be a complete pervert for this 😭 i mean giselle has a hot girlfriend that she loves to show off but you just happen to not match her freak? she can’t believe it!

she always goes to big lengths to get you to make a move. for example, giselle finds comfort in tank tops or shorts, so she decides to wear the dirtiest, shortest clothes possible to get a comment from you? of course! although she gets a little disappointed when you don’t seem to be too affected. maybe she asked you how it looks and you say fine, but she is like “🤨” because she doesn't understand why you’re not jumping on her and ripping her clothes off her body!

and gigi has to take matters into her own hands, climbing onto your lap and sitting in a position that ensures your cock is against her ass, taking your hands and positioning them on her tits while saying “fuck me” SIMPLE but effective 🙂‍↕️ she really enjoys seeing how the surprise appears on your face and you look speechless given her daring actions, but she was focused on giving you a stern look and a serious tone that made it clear that she wasn’t joking!

you know giselle usually posts pictures from time to time where she is lying on her stomach, right? well, that's because it’s her favorite position I KNOW. giselle enjoys nothing more than lying comfortably and being fucked without having to be in an uncomfortable position that makes her very tired or makes her body sore

and as anon said, giselle is a slut! i think she loves rough treatment because it turns her on and also brings an involuntary smile out of her 😭 like she may be burying her face in the pillows but she wants you to pull her hair hard and make her lift her head, she doesn’t mind if you pull her locks in a way that makes her grimace and sob a little! she loves pain and doesn’t care much about a simple hair pull when she has worse and more twisted ideas in mind 💕

obviously you use protection because you want to take care of yourself and your girlfriend at all times, but giselle doesn’t seem to care 😧 often asking you to breed her and give her your babies, a statement that always leaves you frozen in place like a statue and almost makes you rethink the entire existence of humanity 🤕 and you always pull out of her before you cum! maybe cumming on her tummy, thighs or lower back, but that always pisses giselle off! always giving you an annoyed look, clicking her tongue and sometimes arching an eyebrow while tilting her head, whatever the option, you were scared of giselle’s reaction! 😣

then imagine one day she is riding you, making your head spin and your mind in the clouds until you notice you’re close!

“love, i need to cum—”

“don’t even try to do it. you’re not going to take it off.” oh 😳

no matter how hard you try to free yourself from her, giselle is more agile and stronger! as you tried to place your hands on her hips to lift her off your lap, she would grab your wrists, holding them above your head and pinning you to the bed while she rides you with quick and precise hip movements that were making you slowly lose your mind 🥴

and even though you kick and struggle with giselle, you end up cumming inside her, filling her belly with all your seed; a problem and a risk for you, but a dream come true for giselle 💕

your body rests limp on the mattress, your chest rising and falling with your eyes closed. but giselle's voice manages to bring you out of your trance. “don’t give up now. you still have to make it up to me for all those times you wasted all those loads of cum.” and you know it’s going to be a long night…

[no-144444]

HI! i love your writing and i was wondering if you would do a grid reacts to us finding out we were a bet? And if you wouldn't mind adding Logan too?

Thanks ml xxxx

the grid reacts: you find out you're a bet!

Featuring: Oscar Piastri, Logan Sargeant, Daniel Riccardo, George Russell, Alex Albon, Charles LeClerc, Lewis Hamilton, Max Verstappen, Lando Norris

thank you for requesting! xxxx

-----------------

Oscar Piastri:

He walked into your shared apartment, a smile on his face. He hadn’t seen you in a week, and you’d both been too busy to call or text too much, so finally, he’d be back with his girl. 

He wasn’t expecting the bare apartment he’d known so well before you’d moved in. He wasn’t expecting your things to be gone, or the note on the table, or your engagement ring beside it. 

Dear Oscar, 

I found out. I know we were a bet, and I know you’d try to convince me that you loved me, and that it was all real. I don’t doubt that it was real. I know I loved you, and I felt the love from you (either that, or you’re a brilliant actor and picked the wrong profession). But I feel betrayed. I wish you would’ve just come to me immediately and told me how we started, even if I was mad at you for a while. You kept a huge secret for 2 years, Oscar. That’s not a short amount of time. I love you, and I still love you, but I need some time on my own to figure stuff out. I moved back out into my old apartment, and don’t worry, I’m still your girlfriend, but I just wanted space to think. We’ll work our way back up to being fiancé’s but until then, I am still very much yours, unless you don’t want me to be. I need to trust you again. 

Love, Y/n. 

His heart sank. He knew it was stupid to try and keep it a secret, and it had truly been tearing him apart for the last 2 years, but this… this was too much. He was thankful that you two at least we’re breaking up. But the engagement reversal thing was fucking with him. He adored you. He loved you. Yes, it was stupid, but he did stupid stuff all the time. Forgetting his keys, sleeping through his alarm, wearing his shirt inside out. You always told him it was endearing. 

“Hey,” your voice brought him out of his trance. “I wanted to be here when you came back, sorry, there was traffic.”

He turned around to see you. You looked at him. He was crying.

“I’m so sorry,” his voice broke as you nodded. 

“I know you are,” you stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “We’ll get through this, yeah?”

He nodded, burying his head in the crook of your neck. You let him cry it out for a little while, then pulled away. 

“You’ll be ok, we’ll be ok, yeah?”

He sniffled. “Yeah.”

“I love you,” you reminded him, wiping away tears as you went along. 

“I love you so much, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just… I was so scared a-and-”

“I understand,” you nodded. “But that doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

He nodded, playing with your engagement ring in his hands. He broke again, sobbing. You wrapped your arms around him again, letting him calm himself down. “Please put it back on,” he whispered, begging you. 

You thought about it for a moment. You loved Oscar, and you knew you’d forgive him. It was harder not to forgive him, in all honesty. You’d read his hundreds of drafts of the speeches he had planned to say to you. Lando had shown them to you when he told you. You knew how this had been tearing him apart. But you knew how it stung, being betrayed like this. 

“Ok,” you nodded. He slipped the ring back onto your finger and a weight was lifted off of his chest, while one was placed onto yours. 

God, maybe love did conquer all. And that idea fucking terrified you. 

-----------------

Logan Sargeant:

“Go up to her, she’s a McLaren engineer,” Lewis’s friend’s voice rang out over the speaker of your phone. “I’ll give you 2 grand if you can fuck her tonight.”

“It’s not like I need the money,” Logan smirked, cocky as ever. “But I’ll take that.”

The camera panned to Logan walking up to you, and your world shattered. 

------

“Hey babe,” he called, walking into the apartment. There you were sitting, seething on the couch. “How was your weekend?”

“Great,” you answered shortly. “Have you looked at social media recently?”

“No, why?” he asked, resting his hands on your waist. He tried not to read into your stiff posture. Was this the moment? Had you really found out? 

“I was a bet,” you sighed, brushing his hands off of you. “And you didn’t even have the heart to tell me.”

You hadn’t planned on crying, you thought you’d scream at him, give him a piece of your mind, but it was hard to get angry when he was standing there, looking so helpless. You loved him, and all you’d ever been to him was a bet. You’d only met a year ago, started dating 6 months ago. You’d meant nothing the entire time. Just a fuck and a check. You just felt… defeated, and used. 

“Baby please, let me explain, it’s not what-” He started but you sighed.

“Explain what? That you ‘love’ me? I don’t care. I deserve someone who tells me the truth, and you couldn’t even do that. I had to find out with the rest of the world. Don’t you realise how stupid I look? All the posts I made, everything I told my friends and family, and the entire time it’s all been a lie? I look like a fucking idiot.” 

Logan looked down, ashamed. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, taking your hand. “I’ll do anything to make this right, please Y/n, I love you.”

“How am I supposed to trust you? And how am I going to look going back to you? Why did you fuck this all up?” You groaned in frustration. “I fucking loved you!” 

“I love you too!” he pleaded. “Please let me make this right, I don’t care about the media, or whatever, I care about you, and I care about us.”

“What ‘us’? We’ve been based on a lie this entire time!”

“Please don’t say that,” he was crying now, so were you. “Please don’t say it was a lie.” 

You took your hand from his. “Logan, we’re done. Please don’t contact me.”

And that was that. He broke your heart and you broke his. 

-----------------

Daniel Riccardo: 

He watched in horror as you opened the message on his phone from Scotty. 

“You have to tell her. This isn’t right anymore Dan.”

“What is Scott talking about?” You chuckled. 

“Nothing,” Daniel smiled, but it looked forced. 

“Dan, come on, you can tell me,” you smiled sweetly. 

“Seriously, I have no clue what he’s talking about,” he nervously chuckled. 

Your face dropped into an angry frown. “So he was right, you wouldn’t even admit it if I gave you the chance,” you sighed. “That’s great, thanks Daniel.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I know about the bet,” you sighed. “Scotty told me last week.”

Daniel sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” you turned to him. “Why would you lie?” 

“I was scared.”

“Of what?” 

“Of losing you,” he shrugged. “I thought it would just be better to… keep you in the dark I guess. I wasn’t really thinking straight.”

“I wish you would’ve just told me,” you sighed, looking up at him. 

You were both silent for a moment.

“What does this mean for us?” he asked. 

“What ‘us’? We were based on a lie Daniel. A lie you told for a whole year.”

“So that’s it?” he gritted out. 

“That’s it.”

-----------------

George Russell: 

“Have you talked to her about it yet?” Alex asked. “You have to tell her mate, it’s gone on too long.”

“It’s been 6 months Alex, and, by the way, I actually love her,” he scoffed. “I’m trying to figure out the best way to explain it.”

“Explain what? That you were dared to ask her out for money? Mate, you sound like a dick no matter what, she’ll break up with you no matter what,” Alex sighed, disappointed in his friend. 

“She’s probably right to,” George admitted. “Fuck!” he groaned. 

You stepped into the room, trying to pretend that everything was alright. Both of the men looked up, terrified of what came next. 

“Please let me explain,” George rushed out, taking your hand. Alex quickly left you two to speak alone, patting you on the back as he left. George stood up and took your hand. 

You nodded. “Explain.”

George’s frown lifted slightly, elated that you would even give him the chance to explain. “It was a stupid bet and I never took any money. I stopped speaking to the guys after we met, and I promise I’ve been trying to tell you, I just… I get scared every time that I’ll lose you. I don’t deserve you, but I love you Y/n. And I’m so sorry.”

You nodded. “I just… give me some time, yeah?”

He nodded. “All the time you need, of course.” 

You took a deep breath, wrapping your arms around his neck in a short hug. “I’ll call you, yeah?”

He nodded, letting himself enjoy your embrace. “Please call me. Anytime.”

You pulled back, still holding back your tears somehow. “Yeah. Good luck today.”

“If I win, it’ll be for you. It’s always for you,” he smiled softly. 

“Yeah,” you sighed, leaving with a broken heart, and a choice to make. 

-----------------

Alex Albon: 

“Can we talk?” Alex asked, 2 months in.

“About what?” you questioned. You were sitting in his apartment in Monaco, eating dinner before catching a movie at a nearby cinema. 

“How we met.”

“Proceed,” you nodded, turning your full attention to him. 

“We met at Jimmy’s, and I was there with my friends, and we were being assholes, and I'm sorry that’s how you met me,” he hesitated. “And that night, I was dared to go up to you, only because they knew I’d never get a chance with you because you’re… well, you’re you, and I’m me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but we were just having so much fun and-”

“You thought you couldn’t get a chance with me?” You chuckled. 

Alex looked up. “Well, no. You’re gorgeous-”

“You’re a very hot Formula 1 driver! Alex, I was losing it when you came up to me!” 

“I thought you didn’t know anything about F1?!” 

“I don’t! But I know about hot famous guys!”

“You liar!” he laughed. 

“You lied too!” you laughed. 

He smiled. “ I guess we’re pretty evenly matched then, yeah?”

“I guess,” you shrugged, then leaned over and pressed your lips to his. 

-----------------

Charles Leclerc: 

You and Charles were new, like new new.But he’d invited you to the paddock nonetheless, and you had the weekend off, so off you went to the Ferrari garage. You’d met the so-called ‘Prince of Monaco’ at an Indycar event a few months back when he got your number, and since then you’d been texting back and forth. He finally asked you out, and you agreed, I mean, who wouldn’t, right? Even though you worked in Indycar, you were a born and raised Monegasquean and you were proud of your heritage, and pretty excited to be dating the Monegasque. 

“Oh shit,” Pierre grumbled, bumping into you. Recognition finally crossed his face and he smiled. “Y/n, right? We met at the Indycar thing, right?”

“Hi Pierre, yeah, nice to see you,” you smiled. Behind him came Charles, a bright smile for you. 

“Are you here for work or-? Oh, for Charles,” he smirked and turned back to Charles . “Le pari est-il toujours valable?” (is the bet still on?)

Your face faltered. Charles didn’t tell you about any bet. What bet?

“Je ne lui ai pas encore dit,” Charles mumbled. Pierre’s smirk grew, as did the sinking pit in your stomach. (I haven’t told her yet.)

“Hey,” Charles turned to you with a smile on his face. 

“Hi,” you nodded, more reserved than before. “Congrats on pole.”

His smile dampened. “Is everything alright?”

“All good,” you mustered up your fakest smile. “Ne parie peut-être pas sur une fille qui vit à Monaco, connard.” (Maybe don't make a bet over a girl who lives in Monaco, asshole.) 

Charles looked dumbstruck for a moment, and you left him like that. You were worth more than that. 

-----------------

Lewis Hamilton: 

“Have you told her yet?” George asked, eying you from the other side of the garage. 

Lewis shook his head. “I can’t find the right time.” “You need to tell her soon, it’s only a matter of time before someone else tells her.” 

“I know I do, I just… everytime I try to bring it up it’s like she’s extra sweet and perfect and I just can’t break her heart like that-”

“Break who’s heart?” you asked, standing beside Lewis. 

George shot him a look to say ‘tell her now’, and he nodded. George left you two to talk. 

“I was… I came up to you… I-”

“It was a bet to ask me out, I know,” you nodded, sipping your drink. “Whose heart are you breaking?”

Lewis’s brow furrowed. “Yours?”

“I overheard you and your friends at the bar that night,” you explained. “I don’t care. We’re dating because of it, I love you, blah, blah, blah,” you smiled. “Unless it’s been a charade the whole time-”

“NO! It hasn’t, I love you, I promise,” he wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed kisses to your cheek as you laughed. 

“You thought that would break my heart?”

His ego was becoming a little bit more than bruised. “Hey!”

You laughed. “OK, ok, relax. Yes, it would’ve broken my heart,” you teased. 

He pushed you off, smiling. “I don’t want your pity-”

“Not even a pity fuck?” you whispered, a mischievous smirk on your lips.  

He smiled. “Well, I always want that.”

-----------------

Max Verstappen: 

“Fuck this game!” Max cursed after his game had crashed for the third time. You made your way into the living room, looking in on the game.

“Everything alright?” you asked. 

“All good, sorry liefje,” he responded, not even turning around. 

“Is that the girl we put the bets on?” One of his friends asked. Max panicked and shut down the stream, then immediately turned to you. 

“Liefje…” he started. You stood there in shock. 

“Is that true?” you started. “Was I a fucking bet?!” you shouted. 

“It- I- Yes, it started like that, but I love you, I-I’m in love with you!” 

“How can I ever fucking trust you?” you shot back. “You’re a liar!”

“I’m sorry-”

“What the fuck does ‘sorry’ do? I’m leaving Max. You are so not the man I thought you were,” you pushed past him, grabbing some of your essentials from your bedroom as he followed behind you, begging you to stay. 

You left. He was the one who messed up. 

All because of a dumb bet. 

-----------------

Lando Norris: 

He was sweating through his shirt. Max’s eyes bore into him all night, more specifically, how his arm was draped over your shoulder. He understood his best friend’s confusion. It was mere months ago that Lando had been dared to go up to you and ask you out, mere months ago when he sent a photo into the group chat of you sleeping soundly beside him, asking for the transfers from the men who’d told him to ask you out and somehow get you back into his bed before the next morning. Since then, things had in fact changed. He had changed. You had changed him.

“Lan,” Max hissed. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Max,” Lando mumbled. “Not now.”

“She deserves to know,” Pietra shook her head. “Y/n, listen to me, I know Lando had probably been a lovely guy but he asked you out because he was dared to-”

“Pietra!” Lando groaned. “What the fuck!”

You turned to Pietra, pushing Lando’s arm off of you. “Are you serious?”

“She’s telling the truth,” Max added. 

“Y/n please, just let me explain-”

“There’s nothing to fucking explain. You’re an asshole, don’t call me again,” you scoffed, getting up and leaving with Pietra following quickly behind. 

Lando was helpless.

-----------------

navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[traveler-at-heart]

Doctor's In - Chapter 11

Summary: You try to fix your relationship with Wanda.

Yelena struggles to open her eyes. The constant beeping of the alarm annoys her, and she protests.

“Five more minutes” she pleads, reaching out to snooze it.

“Yelena. It’s me” a soft voice says, and she can feel fingers caressing her forehead. “It’s Mama”

“Mama, I don’t wanna go to school” Yelena says, earning a chuckle from Melina.

“You’re in the hospital, sweet girl” her mother says. “You almost drowned”

It all comes back to her in a rush. The feeling of sinking, the freezing water paralyzing her. Your voice, asking her to stay awake.

“Y/N. Is she ok? Where is she?” she tries to stand up, but her mother stops her. Natasha walks in that moment, locking eyes with her sister. “Something happened to Y/N”

“No. She’s ok” Natasha shakes her head.

“Then why do you look so worried? Don’t lie to me” Yelena asks, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I’m not lying, sestra. You just scared me, that’s all” Natasha promises, leaning her forehead against her sister’s.

She tries to pretend everything’s ok.

—

Wanda is in your arms, reassuring you. It’s overwhelming, to feel her, to hear her.

Knowing what you just did.

And it all comes crashing down.

The stress of the past months, the lack of sleep, your resentment towards your mother and your last encounter. A sob breaks out and you can’t stop crying, because you fucked up.

Wanda’s gonna hate you, she’s going to leave you.

You wish you had drowned, because it’s better to die than to hurt the only person you’ve truly ever loved.

“Wanda, I…” your voice shakes. Your girlfriend looks at you, alarmed. She’s never seen you this shaken.

“Baby, look at me. You’re safe. I’m here” she tries to calm you down, but your sobs intensify.

“What’s wrong?” Darcy appears behind you, trying to check for any internal injuries. “Hey, Y/N. You’re hyperventilating. You know what you need to do. Breathe. In and out. Ok. Just like I’m doing”

You allow Darcy’s voice to guide you, while Wanda stays by your side.

“I…” you stutter.

“I think we should keep her in observation for a bit. Maybe she’s in shock or had a concussion. Did you hit your head?” Darcy asks. “Ok, come with me. Wanda, we will be right back”

“Ok. Hey. It’s ok” she says against your lips. “I’m not leaving”

Wanda’s gonna leave when she finds out. And you won’t blame her. But as your thoughts spiral, and you begin to hyperventilate again, Darcy drags you to an exam room.

“What happened? Talk to me, Y/N”

“I should have died out there. She’s gonna leave me, Darcy” you cry out.

“Damn it, ok, breathe. Do you want me to give you… something? Just to calm you down”

“Ok. And page Carol. I need to talk to her”

“Yeah. Ok”

Carol joins you a couple of minutes later.

“Hey” she looks between you and Darcy, not knowing how much she can say.

“She asked me to page you. What the hell happened? She’s having a nervous breakdown” Darcy hisses. Add her to the list of people who have never seen you lose your shit.

“Just tell her” you mutter, looking away. You need someone to say it out loud, so it’s real. And you can understand how much you fucked up.

“I walked in on Natasha and Y/N kissing just now” Carol says, looking at you with pity in her eyes.

“What the hell were you…?” Darcy’s first instinct is to yell at you, but as she sees you shutting your eyes, she calms down. “Ok, just tell me what happened”

“I don’t know. I walked in to find some gauze for this scratch on my arm and then she was there and she kissed me and I didn’t pull away. Not at first”

“So she kissed you?” Darcy clarifies. “You didn’t go after Natasha?”

“No, I wasn’t… I thought she’d be worried about Yelena and when she came in, I assumed something bad had happened” you stumbled with your words. It’s all a blur.

“You weren’t kissing when I walked in. She had her hands in your neck but you were leaning back” Carol says.

“I don’t give a fuck, it doesn’t matter. Wanda won’t care. I fucked up, it’s over”

“I think it’s important to… make the distinction. That she went after you. If you tell Wand at all” Carol adds.

You sigh, looking at your best friend. The one person who has been a constant in your life, who knows how much you struggle. The only one who understands that Wanda is your world. And how devastated you’ll be if when you lose her.

“I think you should tell her” Darcy says. “I’m sorry, I do. I know you’re honest and you’d never be able to live with yourself if you don’t tell her”

Not only that, but knowing what you know about Wanda and how she got cheated in the past. You can’t lie to her.

Even if it means losing her.

“I’ll do whatever you want” Carol says, squeezing your hand. “I won’t ever judge you, Y/N. If you decide to keep it a secret, I’ll take it to my grave. I swear”

“Thanks, Carol” you sigh, wiping the tears that won’t stop. “I need to get home and calm down. She deserves to hear it when I’m sane and won’t make up a stupid excuse hoping she’ll forgive me”

“I really think you can get past this” Carol says before leaving the room.

“I hope so too” you try to smile.

But the truth is you’re not very optimistic.

—

The next day, you refuse to leave the room. You’re not sure if you catched a cold with the freezing water or it’s your body’s response to the stress of what happened, but you run a fever that knocks you down.

At one point, you dream about the encounter with your mother. But it’s not her outside the hospital. It’s Wanda, and she’s hitting you as she finds out you’re a liar.

Your eyes fly open and you sit up, running to the bathroom to throw up. As you look in the mirror, you understand one thing.

You’re not gonna be able to keep this up any longer. You have to tell Wanda.

She’s nowhere to be found, probably because it’s a school day and someone has to drive the kids. While you wait for her to return, you run a bath and try to clear your head.

How are you even starting?

When you hear Wanda come back, your stomach drops, but you push through, sitting in bed.

“There you are. How are you feeling, my love?” she greets with a smile.

“I’m ok, I guess” you manage to say, looking anywhere but her.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me” Wanda says, knowing something’s changed. Truthfully, she’s expecting to hear that this life and death experience made you realize you want something different in your life.

Someone else.

“I… Wanda. I’m so sorry” you whisper, tears rolling down your cheeks. “I didn’t want it to happen”

“What? What are you talking about?”

With a deep breath, you finally say the words that will change your relationship forever.

“Natasha kissed me. We kissed. I mean, I didn’t look for her, she just walked in the room and then she was kissing me, but that doesn’t really make a difference, right?”

Wanda stays silent for a second, and then turns to leave the room.

“I’m going to kill her”

“Wanda” you catch up to her, stopping her at the top of the stairs. “Wait, please”

“No! Who does she think she is? Everything was fine between us, and then she comes and you’re pulling back. And now she thinks she can kiss you and I won’t fight back? Seems like someone should put her in her place”

“I don’t care about her” you plead, taking Wanda’s hand.

“You’re mine”

“Of course I am” you agree, trying to pull Wanda into a hug. She relents, but you can tell she’s tense and struggling with your closeness. “Wanda, I love you. I’m sorry, I didn’t want this to happen, I’ll do anything to make it right, just please, please…”

“Did you kiss her back?” Wanda pushes you away suddenly.

“I… don’t know. It happened so fast. I didn’t even think. I pulled away”

“But before that, did you kiss her back?” Wanda insists, looking at you expectantly.

“Wanda, I don’t know. She just came out of nowhere and I was trying to recover from almost drowning”

“I think… I think you should leave” she interrupts you. “You told me you were different, that you’d never lie to me”

“I didn’t…”

“Please, leave” she raises her hand to stop you. “I just can’t look at you right now”

Looking down, you nod. As you walk back to pack a bag with clothes and other stuff, Wanda stays rooted to her spot in the hallway.

You want to say something, but words are not enough to convey everything you feel. “Sorry” is an understatement. “I love you”? It feels like you lost the right to say that.

So, you walk out of the house, and drive to a hotel, wondering if it’s really that easy to lose your entire world.

—

The next days are hell.

You really wish you’d drown that day on the river.

There’s a hotel close to the hospital, and you stay there, wallowing in self pity and regret. You ignore everyone’s text and calls, because you’ll only answer one person.

She never reaches out.

“Hey, bud” Darcy greets when you get to work after two days. “I take it it didn’t go well”

“Nope” is all you say, not wanting to talk about it at all. You need work, distractions. Or a bus than runs you over. Whichever is fine.

“I’m here if you want to talk” is all she says, knowing you’d rather not.

“Thanks”

Kate greets you, a little too cheerful for your liking. Maybe it’s because she has the ER for herself. Speaking of which, you don’t even know if Yelena was discharged.

“Is Belova ok?” you say, looking at all the reports you need to sign.

“Yes, she left yesterday. And, uh… Doctor Romanoff was asking for you” Kate hesitates.

“I’m not speaking to Romanoff under any circumstances. If she asks again, tell her I said she can go to hell” you answer with a harsh tone.

“Maybe I could say you’re very busy?”

“Whatever keeps her away from me” you agree, walking to the entrance as an ambulance parks outside.

It’s a hectic day and you appreciate it. You also lose track of how many times you go out to smoke. At some point, you give up waiting for Wanda to call you.

Actually, now you don’t want her to reach out at all. You’re not ready to hear her say it’s over, so at least now you can pretend there’s a chance you’ll get past this.

“Did you sleep at all?” Carol says when she sees you next morning.

“For a half hour, maybe”

“Listen, you need to…”

But whatever well intended advice she’s about to give is interrupted by Fury.

“Doctor Romanoff would like a word”

“I’m busy”

“Not for her, you’re not” he cuts you off, practically pushing you in the direction of a conference room.

This is a new low, using Fury to talk to you.

“Doctor Romanoff, I’m so sorry, as you can imagine our Head of Trauma is busy” Fury says, moving so you can step forward. “Meet Doctor Y/L Y/L/N”

Wait, what?

A brunette approaches you with a wide smile. She has the same nose as Natasha, and even if her eyes are more hazel than green, you definitely see the resemblance in the determined stare.

“I can’t thank you enough for saving my daughter’s life”

Right. That Doctor Romanoff.

“Just doing my job” you say, hoping Natasha won’t join you.

“She’s eager to get back to work. Yelena said you’re a fantastic teacher” the woman says, smiling.

“Well, she definitely has a lot to learn” you say, which makes both people in the room turn to you.

“Doctor Y/L/N” Fury warns. But you don’t give a fuck. You want them gone from the hospital and the city and your life.

“Yelena’s good, but she could be better. That reckless behavior almost got me killed. She also needs to move faster and be more precise. Her work can be sloppy”

“Thank you, Doctor Y/L/N. That would be all” Fury cuts you off.

You nod, avoiding Melina’s stare as you leave the room.

Unfortunately for you, one of her daughters is waiting outside.

“Can we talk?” Natasha says. You ignore her, walking back to the ER. “What? Seriously?”

She grabs your wrist and you finally turn around.

“Don’t. I have absolutely nothing to say to you, Romanoff”

“What? Did your girlfriend forbid you to talk to me?”

“You don’t think about her or talk about her or anything related to Wanda. Stay away from me” you say, opening the door. Of course she follows you before you can lock yourself in, blocking the only way out.

“I didn’t think you’d be such a fucking coward, Y/N” she accuses you.

“Excuse me?”

“You kissed me back”

“I did not!” you kick the chair next to you, groaning. “I had just seen my abusive mother and almost drowned saving your sister. Do you really think I had the mental capacity to act rationally? I was still on fight or flight, Natasha”

“Lie to yourself all you want, but you’re not gonna lie to me. I know the way you look at me”

“Which is?”

“Like you’re picturing me naked”

You scoff at that, looking away.

“I don’t hear you denying it” she challenges, stepping closer.

“Don’t”

“If you were really sure about your feelings, you’d tell me to go to hell and move on. You wouldn’t be looking around the room, desperate to find a way out” Natasha says, moving closer and closer, until you’re inches apart. “Because if we stay this close, you know damn well that we’re gonna end up fucking each other”

“Please, stop” you say, trying to push past her. Natasha takes your wrists, and pulls you closer, letting you decide.

And you pull away. You do.

“Don’t mistake attraction with devotion. Wanda is all I want and need. I’m not playing games. Stay away from me”

You try to look composed as you leave the room, but in your mind, you know you hesitated.

A fraction of a second, but it was hesitation nonetheless.

—

Carol finds you outside the hospital, smoking as usual.

“Though shift?”

“You could say that”

You stare at her as she takes the cigarrette from your hands.

“Don’t tell Maria” she warns you and you laugh.

“Nu-uh, you need to be on your best behavior. One of us has to have a happy ending”

“Did you tell her?” Carol asks.

“Yeah. She kicked me out. Which is a very nice reaction. If I were her, I would have run me over repeatedly with her car” you sigh, lighting another one. “And now Natasha’s on my ass, saying I can’t deny that I have feelings for her too, when all I’ve done is be friendly”

“Ok, don’t shoot the messenger, Y/N, but it was obvious you two were flirting” Carol says. You stay quiet, and since you don’t argue, the woman takes it a sign to continue. “Look, when Maria came back… I hesitated too. I never told you this, but I wasn’t just trying to move on from her. I liked you, your committment to work. How kind you are. Honestly, with a little more time I could have seen myself in a different situation”

“But?”

“But Maria came back and I made a choice. What I’m saying is… I don’t think it’s unnatural for people to be attracted to others, even if you’re in a relationship. We seek connection, and surgeons have a fucked up schedule and life that only other doctors understand. Of course you felt something”

“Natasha is… a challenge. She’s funny and stubborn and quick witted. She doesn’t give a fuck about anything except work. It’s like an adventure” you finally admit out loud, knowing Carol understands. “But Wanda is my family. And I can’t lose that”

“There you go. I think admitting that you feel attraction is how you move past this. The important thing is if you act on it” Carol insists.

You think back to the encounter you had with Natasha just now.

You pulled back.

This time, she didn’t just kiss you. She gave you a choice. And you made the decision to step away.

That’s gotta count for something. Right?

“Thanks, Carol” you sigh, feeling better for the first time in days. To your surprise, Darcy comes next.

“Is it my turn now? I’m freezing, Danvers” she complains.

“Turn for what?”

“Well, this is an intervention” Carol explains, leaving the spot next to you so Darcy can sit.

“An intervention? Next to the trash? Really?” you say, looking around.

“You practically live here with all the smoking. Which, by the way, stops now” Darcy says, throwing away the pack you’re holding. “Now, as you know I briefly considered a career in Psychiatry. So I’m going to give you my analysis”

“Ugh, I hate this” you mutter. In spite of everything you’ve been through, you’ve never once considered going to therapy.

You have a job and a life. You’re obviously fine.

“Ready? I’m about to tell you some harsh truths. You can cry if you want to” Darcy says, settling. “You don’t believe you deserve good things. Of course, your mother showing up out of nowhere didn’t help. You’re self sabotaging because you think you don’t deserve Wanda. It’s a self fulfilled propechy. And it’s frankly stupid. You don’t need to fight your demons on this one. Just tell Romanoff to piss off and go get your girl. Speak up, tell her how you feel. This passive shit of wallowing in self pity is beneath you”

“Wow, anything else?” you say, trying not to be offended.

“Yes” Darcy says, looking at you. “You’re my best friend. I want you to be happy. Don’t cry” she snaps when tears roll down your cheeks.

“You just told me I could cry!” you complain, laughing at her.

“Yeah, well. I changed my mind. Now come on” Darcy nudges your side. “I’m freezing”

—

It’s uncharacteriscally quiet lately. No one says anything, but Pietro can feel it.

Your absence is the most obvious sign that something’s wrong.

Wanda can lie to the kids and tell them you’re working day shifts, but Pietro is not easily fooled. He never hears you come in, or leave.

You haven’t been home in a week.

“What’s going on?” he finally asks when Wanda’s doing the dishes, the twins fast asleep.

“What do you mean?” she plays dumb, without turning to look at her brother.

“She’s not working. Did you fight?”

“Leave it” Wanda says.

“No. You’re obviously not fine and I can imagine how Y/N’s doing”

“Y/N is very busy fucking that Russian” Wanda spits out, finally turning to look at her brother.

“You mean she cheated on you?”

“That woman… kissed her. And now, I kicked her out and heaven knows what she must be thinking. It’s perfect for Natasha, isn’t it? She didn’t have to try that hard to break us apart”

“Ok, so it was a kiss? Or more? I think you need to start over” Pietro asks, sitting at the kitchen counter and leaving his crutches against the wall.

So, Wanda tells him everything. How you began to spend more time at the hospital, and she got jealous and pushed you away as response. How her insecurities and your attitude made things harder and put you through a rough patch.

“But… she told you right after it happened?” Pietro tries to understand the timeline. “And it was just a kiss?”

“It’s not about the kiss. It’s about swearing nothing was going on, making me feel like I was acting crazy and…”

“How do you know she didn’t think the same thing?” his brother says, which makes her stop talking. Wanda shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe she thought they were friends. The thing is, she was honest, Wanda”

“Yeah, but…”

“You can’t let your past influence your future. I know he hurt you and it’s not easy to trust people. But not everything’s black and white. Do you honestly think Y/N was trying to hurt you?”

“Of course not” she says, shaking her head. “I just don’t know how I will get over this…”

“So it’s better to pretend nothing’s wrong?”

Pietro couldn’t say it without hurting his sister, but she was always so afraid of taking risks. And now she took the easy way out.

“Look, avoiding the issue won’t solve anything. If you want to fix it, do it. If you really can’t get past what happened, you at least need some closure” he says, his tone becoming softer as Wanda’s eyes well up with tears.

“I just hate this. I wish we could just go back to how everything was” Wanda sobs, covering her mouth. “And I miss her so much”

“Maybe you should tell her that” Pietro struggles to stand up, and goes to hug his sister. “It will be ok, sestra”

—

It’s kind of shitty to be happy over having a lot of injured people on your shift. But you’re so exhausted you’re positive you’ll pass out the minute you get home.

Well, the hotel.

That minor correction stings.

Your room’s a mess, but you’ll clean it up after you get some rest.

There’s a knock on the door right as you plop down in bed and you sigh.

“I don’t need any room cleaning, thank you!”

“It’s Wanda”

You get whiplash at those words, running to open the door.

“Hi” you say, trying to not sound too anxious. There’s a pang of guilt as you notice the bags under Wanda’s eyes.

“Hi. Can I come in?”

“Sure. Yeah” you step aside. “Uh, sorry about the mess. Work’s been crazy”

“So listen… I think we need to talk” she says, looking back at you.

“Oh”

So she’s here to break up with you. You stay quiet, urging her to continue.

“I… I’m not happy with this situation. Honestly, I really wished you had set boundaries with that woman from the start. I don’t know if you were just being friendly or a part of you was attracted to her at all”

“Wanda, I…”

“I don’t think I’m interested in knowing the answer to that. But I do know that we’re not gonna fix this by staying apart” she says, crossing her arms.

“Oh, so you wanna fix… I thought you were here to break up with me” you sigh, your shoulders relaxing at the realization that she’s giving you another chance.

“I have some conditions”

“Very reasonable. And my answer is yes to everything” you hurry to say, scared that she’ll change her mind.

“You sure you don’t wanna hear them? What if one of them is doing the laundry for a month?” she teases and seeing her smile is like a breath of fresh air.

“Wanda, I’ll cook forever if you ask me to”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It’s not like we can eat pancakes every day”

You both smile at that, and you let her take the first step, reaching for your hand.

“Pack your things, and I’ll meet you back home” she says, giving you a light squeeze.

“Ok, babe” you nod, wanting to kiss her. But she pulls away before you can lean forward, smiling.

You really hope there’s a way you can fix everything.

Because losing Wanda is simply not something you can deal with.

—

The first week back is definitely challenging.

As soon as you get home the boys run to hug you and you try really hard not to cry. You thought you’d never see them again. Pietro gives you a knowing look but keeps whatever he has to say to himself.

That first night you take the kids out to the arcade and to eat pizza, and though you’re a little disappointed when Wanda declines to join you, you understand she must be exhausted.

When you come home, you find a blanket and a pillow in the sofa. The message is pretty clear, but you take it without complaining and sleep there.

It was unrealistic to expect everything would be back to normal right away.

“How’s work?” Wanda asks one morning when you’re getting some coffee, ready to leave.

“It’s better. We’re not as short staffed anymore. Why? Do you need me to take some time off? I’ll talk to Fury” you hurry to say, desperate to prove your worth to Wanda.

“No, that’s fine. Uh… is she still there? I mean do you still have to take that course?” she asks, looking away.

“Oh. No. I mean, yeah, she’s still there but we don’t talk and I haven’t joined the last sessions. Darcy just brings me up to speed later”

“I don’t want you getting into trouble. I can manage if you have to be there” Wanda says, curious about your answer.

“It’s fine, love. I’m busy in the ER anyway” you appease her, reaching for a Pop-Tart. As you leave, you kiss her cheek out of pure habit, too busy with picking up your things to remember Wanda’s been avoiding physical contact. “Catch you later, have a good day”

“Yeah, you too” Wanda’s hand goes to the spot you just kissed, blushing.

Your day starts as usual, and you make sure you don’t leave the ER unless it is absolutely necessary. Thankfully, Yelena is eager to do any task you assign to her. That way, you avoid running into her sister.

At some point, you do have to go to the front desk to deliver some schedules and signed discharges.

“We have missed you these past sessions” someone says behind you.

You recognise Melina’s voice and answer without looking up.

“ER is very hectic”

You think that’s the end of the conversation until she asks something that almost makes you turn.

“So, which one of my daughter’s pissed you off?”

The only sign of surprise you show is how you stop writing for a second, but then you keep going.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand”

“I think you do, Doctor Y/L/N”

“Excuse me” you say, saved by your pager.

Melina hangs around, waiting for you to come back and finish the conversation, or find either Natasha or Yelena to get them to fess up.

The woman is looking around when a brunette joins her in the front desk, greeting the receptionist.

“I’ll page Doctor Y/L/N”

“Are you a patient of hers?” Melina says, looking at the woman up and down.

“I’m her girlfriend” Wanda answers, feeling like there’s something familiar about the woman.

“Oh, Y/N’s girlfriend. Yes, we’ve heard about you. She’s such a good teacher to my daughter. I’m Doctor Melina Romanoff”

Of course, Romanoff. No wonder Wanda’s gut was telling her to get out of there.

“Y/N’s teaching Natasha?” Wanda says, confused. She thought it was the other way around.

“No, Yelena. She’s working in the ER”

“Oh, good. There’s more than one of you” Wanda grumbles, wondering if Yelena flirts with you too.

“What was that, dear?” Melina says, confused.

“Oh, nothing”

Thankfully, you show up, smiling at Wanda.

“Hey, come here” you say, dragging her away from Melina.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Wanda asks as soon as the woman is out of earshot. You tilt your head, confused. “You’re teaching her sister. The whole family is here”

“Oh, that. Fury made me do it. Trust me, if it were up to me they’d all be long gone” you mumble.

Wanda’s taken aback by your bitter tone. No matter how annoying someone can be, you’re rarely unkind. It seems like they’re really testing your patience.

“Ok, well. I just wanted to drop off these cookies for Darcy”

“For Darcy and none for me?” you pout, taking the container.

“Yours are at home” Wanda says, and you’re busy checking your pager so you don’t notice Wanda looking over your shoulder, eyes locking with Natasha’s.

Wanda pulls you down, meeting your lips in a kiss that is not at all appropriate in the middle of your shift.

“Try not to be late tomorrow” she says and all you can do is nod, taken aback by the sudden display of affection. It only makes sense when you turn around, Natasha staring at you. Rubbing the back of your neck, you walk past her, only looking back once to wave your girlfriend goodbye.

Wanda stands there a little bit longer, arms crossed as she glares at Natasha. When the Russian gets annoyed, she drops her folder and makes her way over to Wanda.

She doesn’t have a chance to say anything, as Kate comes out of nowhere, dropping her coffee in the middle of both women.

“Oh, shoot” she says, not sounding sorry at all.

The sudden intrusion makes Natasha walk back and leave the reception, annoyed at having to keep to herself all the things she wants to say to your girlfriend.

Wanda, on the other hand, leaves the hospital with a smile on her face.

Kate is on the fence about telling you of the almost argument between your girlfriend and Doctor Romanoff.

To those close to you, is very obvious your relationship with the other surgeon went south, and considering how Wanda looked at Natasha, Kate has a very good guess around the reason why.

“I miss Boston a little bit” Yelena is talking your ear off while you check some X-rays. “Mama and Natasha are going back today and I wish I could too. And by the way, why is she acting strange around you?”

“Page Ortho and tell them we have a surgical case. Run lab work for the patient” you ignore her. “Questions?”

“Yes, did you and Natasha fight?”

“About the case, Belova” you clarify, turning to leave.

“Oh. No. So what happened?”

“Bishop, the case is yours now” you snap, annoyed at her insistence. You already had to deal with her mother’s questioning today, and it ran your patience thin. “Belova, you are in charge of post ops” the blonde opens her mouth to protest and you look up. “Reconsider what you’re about to say or I’ll send you to the morgue with Vidal”

Yelena nods, but you can see she’s hurt. A part of you feels guilty, but then you remember her family is incredibly wealthy and they could simply pull their heads out of their asses and hire a new Head of Trauma in Boston.

The rest of your shift is semi chaotic, until the end when you have to stay longer. Wanda doesn’t respond to your text when you explain why you’ll be late, so you’re in a hurry to leave.

“What the hell is your problem?” a voice chases you down the hall, making several people turn. You look over your shoulder at Natasha.

“Can I help you?” you ask in a bored tone, gathering your stuff to leave.

“Whatever happened between us is our business. Don’t be an asshole to my sister because it got into your head that I’m the one that screwed up your perfect relationship”

“Well, if your sister doesn’t like it she can go back to Boston, as I hope you’ll do soon and without any plans to return” you spit out, taking your bag to leave.

“I was so wrong about you” Natasha says when you walk past her.

“I’ll find a way to sleep at night” you mock, but then Natasha hits you where she knows will hurt.

“Yeah. In the couch, I bet”

Her mocking tone makes you turn.

“What a great relationship it must be, if she only likes you when you do what she wants”

Whatever you are about to say is stuck in your throat, so you turn around and leave.

The words repeat like an echo in your head until you get home.

Figuring Wanda must be in the bedroom, you go up and knock.

“Hey, sorry I had to stay longer. I texted you”

“Yeah, I got the text” Wanda nods with certain indifference. So, she’s back to being distant.

“Well, I’ll just grab a change of clothes” you say.

Wanda turns to look at you. Something takes over when she imagines Natasha kissing you, watching as you undress yourself.

Without warning, she turns you around, kissing you.

“Hey, what is it?” you ask, trying to get her to slow down. Instead of replying, she pushes you to the bed, barely giving you time to react when she straddles your lap. “Wanda, maybe we should…”

“I don’t want to hear it. You’re mine” when she doesn’t get a reply, she pushes forward. “Are you gonna let me fuck you or not?”

All you can do is nod, and she takes off your pants and underwear. You’re conflicted, because Wanda doesn’t seem to be in a right state of mind, pushed by her insecurities.

And then you feel her tongue on your clit, any coherent thought pushed to the back of your mind as she laps at your folds. Your hands go through her hair, but she pushes them away with a slap.

She doesn’t give you time to protest, moving up until she kisses you. The taste of yourself renders you speechless, except for the moan that leaves your lips when Wanda pushes two fingers inside you.

“Babe, slow…” you plead, overstimulated.

“No, you’re gonna take it” she shuts you up, biting your lip.

Her hand moves faster and you cling to the comforter, moaning until you’re pushed over the edge, squeezing her fingers as you come.

“Wanda” you say, trying to catch your breath. But she stands up immediately. “Where are you going?”

“To pick up the kids”

“Can I come with you?”

“Stay” she answers, leaving the room.

You plop down in bed, the rush of your orgasm quickly forgotten at her cold demeanor.

This wasn’t about pleasure, it was about jealousy, as everything seems to be lately.

She only likes you when you do what she wants.

You take a shower and drift off, appreciating how comfortable the bed is compared to the sofa.

The sound of footsteps and laughs wakes you up, Billy and Tommy entering in a rush to the bedroom.

“You’re here!” they say, jumping on the bed. Lately, they always seem anxious to know exactly where you are, as if they sense you’ll disappear without a trace.

It’s as endearing as it is heartbreaking.

“Hey, there” you laugh when they pile on you, shouting about their day at school. “Ok, ok, one at a time, kids!”

“Boys, no shoes on the bed!” Wanda walks in a minute later, making them go get changed for soccer practise. “Why did you let them do that?”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

It’s been a week, of course you’re gonna be in the dog house. But honestly, even when you’re not doing anything, Wanda seems to find a way to be mad at you.

“Why don’t I take the kids to soccer practise?” you offer, thinking she couldn’t possibly be upset about that.

“Pietro has physical therapy, you drive him and I’ll take the kids to soccer”

“Or we can all drive to the rehab clinic and then to practise” you say.

“Ok, I don’t have time to argue. If you’re not gonna be of help, stay out of the way” she snaps, which makes your eyes widen in shock.

“I’ll drive Pietro” you mutter, going out of the room.

You wait for him in the backyard, throwing Sparky’s ball and relaxing when he gets tired and sits next to you. At least someone in this house still likes you.

“What happened now?” Pietro asks from the backseat, and you shrug your shoulders, starting the car.

“She’s just in a mood. I guess it’ll pass”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Come on, no one can stay angry for that long”

Can she?

“Y/N, she hasn’t spoken to our mother in three years because of what happened with Dad” Pietro says.

“Ok, but she lives in a different country and this was a very serious subject…” you try to excuse her.

“Listen, I love Wanda, but it’s hard for her to let go of things. Unless you push a little. Mom’s giving her space, but you live with her and you shouldn’t be hiding forever. We all make mistakes”

“Well, look at you, being a couples counselor and all. You have a backup plan in case snowboarding is out of the picture” you say, opening the door for him.

In a split second, you decide to drive back to practise. Even if Wanda doesn’t want to see you, you want to be there for the boys.

To your surprise, Wanda is laughing alongside a tall man, her hand going to his arm. You walk around the field, standing next to other parents and looking over at her.

They’re both engaged in conversation, standing a bit away from the crowd. Wanda only notices your presence when Billy runs by and waves at you.

“Hey” she walks over to you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll pick up Pietro in a bit, I just wanted to see the kids play”

“Yeah, that’s fine”

“So, who’s that?” you say, referring to the man she was talking to.

“Oh, he’s Richard. His son joined recently”

“No missus?”

“They’re separated. So, you know, sometimes he’s here and sometimes she is the one driving Daniel”

“Nice. Glad they make it work” you comment. Tommy waves at you because he’s having issues with his shin guard. “I’ll go”

You jog to him, smiling as you walk past Sharon.

“There you go, kiddo” you ruffle his hair, encouraging him to go back into the field.

“Friend of Wanda’s?” a voice says and you turn around. The so called Richard is smiling at you. “She’s great”

The way he says great makes you want to punch him in the face.

“Yeah. She is”

“Do you know if she’s dating anyone?”

“Me” you say, frowning at him. “Why? Wanna sell us a time share or something?”

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry” he turns red. “She didn’t mention you at all”

“Huh. Funny. Just moved in together, it probably slipped her mind” you say, offering your hand. “Doctor Y/L Y/L/N, nice to meet you…”

“Richard”

“Dick” you say, punching his arm a little too harsh as you walk away. “Pleasure”

Asshole.

“Your friend’s nice” you mutter, walking past Wanda. “I’m picking up Pietro”

She didn’t mention you at all.

Funny, you can’t shut up about Wanda but she forgets you exist when someone new shows up.

Fine, whatever.

“What now?” Pietro says, sighing. It must be written all over your face when you go back to take him home.

“Nothing! I didn’t say anything” you defend yourself.

This time he doesn’t push it, probably because he’s too tired from the physical exertion.

You help him out, walk Sparky and then, once the kids are back, spend the rest of the afternoon with them going over homework. Whatever it takes to be away from Wanda.

During dinner, you stay focused in your food and only speak when the kids ask you something.

“Are you gonna be home this weekend?” Billy asks and you nod, smiling when he gets excited.

“Yeah, buddy. Wanna do something fun? We can go catch that movie you wanted”

“Oh” they both turn to look at each other. “We went yesterday with Daniel and his dad”

“Mom told us you wouldn’t have time to go to the movies” Tommy apologizes, looking sorry for something that’s not remotely his fault.

“We can go do something else, kids. Anything you want” you promise, smiling at them.

“Did Darcy like the cookies?” Wanda asks, trying to asses how pissed you are.

“Sure” you mutter, looking anywhere but her. “You know what, I’m not that hungry so I’m going to start cleaning the kitchen”

As you leave, Pietro starts to speak Sokovian in what you think is a reprimand, but who the hell knows.

Everyone else finishes their food and you clean everything, being deliberately slow to avoid Wanda. But there she is, leaning against the counter while you load the dishwasher.

“Wanna come to bed?”

“Nope”

“You don’t have a leg to stand on, Y/N. I was just being nice to Richard”

“He didn’t know about me” you snap, turning to glare at her, “And he wants to ask you out, so don’t let me get in the way. Maybe your next outing should be without the kids”

“It hurts, doesn’t it?”

“I never once hid you. Everyone I work with knows about you. Everyone I meet, that’s the first thing I tell them. My girlfriend and my kids, because I love them. And I love you”

“It’s just hard for me not to…”

“Not to what?”

“Not to hate you! For hurting me. For lying” she says, looking away.

“That’s fair. If you want to hate me, by all means, Wanda. But then be honest if you think this will always be the case and let me go. Because right now? It hurts a lot more to stay than to walk away”

She bites her lip, fidgeting with her hands as you walk past her.

As you’ve done every night for the past week and a half, you lie down on the couch, wondering if things will ever get better between you.

—

The weekend was nice, if only because you got to spend time with the kids. You asked Wanda if she wanted to join once, more out of politeness than genuine desire for her to come along.

The first time she made an excuse about having to work on the book. So you went to the mini golf course, the arcade, to get some pizza and then buy a couple of videogames.

Billy and Tommy were very happy and that’s all that mattered to you.

On Sunday you went grocery shopping, turning a blind eye when they sneaked a couple of chocolates. There were some nice flowers, so you decided to get them, just to have something that made you smile.

You weren’t planning on sticking around for dinner, having a night shift. As you’re having a snack in the kitchen, scrolling through your phone, Wanda walks in, unsure if she should say something to you.

She’s very aware that with her hot and cold attitude she’s done her share of damage to your relationship.

Wanda’s never been good at forgiving people.

“You’ll spoil your apetite” she tries to joke when she sees you eating a couple of cookies.

“I have a night shift” you smile, briefly looking away from your phone.

“The flowers are nice”

“Yeah, I liked them too” you agree.

Your girlfriend wanders around the kitchen, trying to come up with something that can be remotely interpreted as a peace offering.

Looking at the calendar, she notices a circled date two days from now.

“Did we have plans for anything?” she asks, trying to remember what the date means.

“It’s ten months since our first date” you say, looking away.

“Oh. Ten months? Time flies”

Yeah, it does. Not in a million years would you have guessed that things would go so bad in the course of a few weeks.

Even the ring you were so excited about is now stored away in a box in the garage.

“We should do something” Wanda says. “We could go to dinner to that restaurant you like”

“If you want to” you say, unsure if her mood will be the same two days from now. Hell, maybe she’ll go back to hating your guts by then and it will be an awkward dinner.

“Yes” she hurries to say, standing in front of you when you get up to wash your cup. “I’d want to… I think I’d like to just… talk like we used to. You know?”

Of course you do. That’s all you’ve wanted since this nightmare began but every time you think you’re making progress she pushes you away. And you’re not sure how much more you can take.

“Ok. I’ll make the reservation” you agree. “I have to go now. Have a good night”

“Have a good shift at work”

You go up to take your bag and say bye to the kids.

“See you Tuesday after school”

“You promise?” Billy says and you nod, offering your pinky. He links it with yours and you both laugh.

“Be good, kiddos”

At the door, Wanda’s waiting with some food.

“In case you get hungry”

You nod, taking the container and smiling as you walk past her.

Wanda wishes she had the courage to go after you and kiss you. But all she does is watch as you drive away.

—-

“Where’s Belova?” you say, annoyed. She’s supposed to be here and it’s only you and Kate in the ER.

“She said she had a family emergency. And that she’d tried to be here early in the morning”

Right. You can afford to skip a night shift if your mother is a reknowned surgeon.

“Well, go get some rest and if anything urgent comes up I’ll let you know” you say, not feeling very tired.

The brunette nods, grateful for the chance to sleep. Ever since Yelena joined you, she’s been staying longer in the hospital to get whatever cases she can get. You appreciate her commitment.

For once, it’s an easy shift. The worse that comes is a group of college kids that are drunk, one of them breaking his nose as he fell.

“I’m kinda hungry” you tell Barnes as you finish up with the young man.

“Go, I’ll stay here”

“Would you like to join me? I have plenty of food” you offer, suddenly realising you’ve never spoken to Barnes beyond work. He thinks about it for a second and then nods.

“Sounds nice”

You take it as an acheivement, going to a break room where you split Wanda’s lasagna in half, while Barnes comes back with a couple of sodas.

“Thanks… sorry, I call you Barnes, but is there other name…?”

“Bucky” he says, sitting down.

“Alright. Bucky” you nod, following suit. You both eat in silence for a moment.

“You’re a good cook”

“That’s my girlfriend. I can only do some decent pancakes” you admit.

“Oh, is that the woman that came the other day?” he asks and you nod, surprised that he noticed.

“Yeah, that’s her” you say, suddenly remembering everything that’s happened in the past weeks. “She has two kids”

“I like kids” he says, which makes you chuckle. He raises an eyebrow, amused. “What?”

“I’m sorry, but you’re always so serious. I can’t imagine you with kids. I’m being rude” you mumble, watching as his smiles widens.

“Nah, I get it. I’m just not good at making friends. And it feels like everyone knows each other already”

“I’m sorry, I guess we should have made more of an effort to include you” you nod, thinking that it must be awful to be left out. “Tell you what, we’ll all go out for drinks one of these days. There’s a bar close to the hospital”

“Maybe”

“There’s a pool table” you insist and he smiles.

“Ok, yeah” he finally relents and you celebrate. Once you’re done with the food, he hands over a chocolate bar. You appreciate the gesture, and munch on it while holding back a yawn.

“Go get some sleep, I’ll page when there’s something” Bucky says.

“Thanks. This was nice” you pat his shoulder, happy that you got to speak to him.

You’re paged a couple of times but manage to get a few hours of sleep.

The next time someone calls you is to go to the third floor, to a conference room. Of course it’s Melina Romanoff.

“Yes?”

“Oh, good, you’re here. Have a seat, please” she speaks, completely indifferent to your mood.

“I have work” you refuse the offer, but she’s clearly not speaking until you do as she says. You sigh, relenting. Maybe she’s about to rip you to shreds for being an ass to Yelena.

“You know what I like?”

Dancing in the moonlight like a witch?

“No, not really”

“Honesty. Someone who doesn’t care about anything other than the truth. And skills” you remain impassive and then she takes off her glasses, smiling at you. “All those things you said about Yelena are true. She has great potential, but she’s missing the drive. It’s about consistency. And hard work”

“Yeah, and yet she skipped the night shift”

“That was my bad. Her father is in town” she says, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Anyway, the people who have worked for me are always too afraid to tell me the truth. Because they want me to like them. But not you. Which is why…”

Melina extends a letter. An offer letter to be the Head of Trauma at Romanoff Medical.

“I’m not interested” you say, noticing the pay is triple what you currently make.

“And why’s that?”

“My family’s here”

“Hum, I see. We can arrange for relocation. You’ll have enough money to buy a beautiful house”

She’s probably referring to the sign up bonus you get if you accept the job.

“Wanda would never want to move. I appreciate the offer” you hand back the paper and she stops you.

“How long have you been with this girl?”

“Ten months”

“And it’s good? There’s a future?” she insists.

“Maybe”

A month ago you would have said that absolutely there was a future. Now, it’s very uncertain.

“Ok, well… sometimes we have to make choices. This is one of those times, Doctor Y/L/N. You work for Romanoff Medical and everyone will know your name. They’ll try to steal you and I’ll double your pay at some point to get you to stay”

“The money isn’t…”

“It should be. Because you’re good at your job, one of the best I’ve seen. At least take the letter and read it carefully. We’re going back to Boston tonight but call me if you change your mind”

“Thanks” you nod, hearing your pager. You fold the letter and put it on the pocket of your lab coat, finding Kate in the ER struggling with a doppler ultrasound.

You smile at the pregnant woman that is waiting, looking worried.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Y/L/N. What brings you to the ER today?”

“I’m having some pain, and contractions but we’re only at 35 weeks. It can’t possible be…” the woman says.

“We’re having twins, boy and girl” her husband explains.

“Congratulations” you smile. “Twins are fun. You’ll have to get two of everything for Christmas, though”

“Do you have twins?” the woman asks, trying to forget about the pain.

“Two boys. Here” you check for the heartbeats, but notice the woman’s water broke, blood mixed with the fluid. “We’re doing an emergency C-section. Don’t worry, we’ll take great care of you and your babies”

Kate pages OBGYN and Maria for the delivery of the babies.

“Everything will be fine, Miss Hardwick” you say, introducing the surgeons. “Your husband is on his way to the OR, the nurses are helping him scrub in”

“Tell me about your boys” she asks when the procedure begins. You smile, looking at her.

“Well, Billy likes science and art. So I don’t know if he’ll be a scientist or an artist like his mom. Tommy is really fast, the fastest boy in the soccer team”

“Two moms?” the woman says and you tense up, unsure if she’ll have a problem with it. “Your house must be very clean”

Maria and you laugh at that.

“You know, it is. But she does the cooking and I try to keep everything neat, and help with homework and taking out the dog”

“Honey, I think I want to be a lesbian” the woman says, and her husband looks around.

“It’s just the anesthesia talking, she’s joking” you calm him down, smiling.

After an hour of surgery, you admire the new family, though the babies will have to spend a few days in the NICU.

“Thanks, Maria” you smile at the woman as you scrub out. “I’m glad they’re all ok”

“We just need to be careful with the post op, can your team handle it?”

“Yeah, of course” you say.

Yelena finally shows up, with a million apologies about how her dad surprised her with a visit from Russia. You decide her punishment should be sticking to the Hardwick’s post op.

“This was a high risk pregnancy. You’re gonna be checking up on her by the hour, no excuses. Can you handle that?” you say.

“You got it”

“Good. You’re also on ER duty, since I’m sending Bishop home. She just pulled off a 36 hour shift and three surgeries” you grab your charts and turn back to look at her. “Better catch up, Belova. Right now, you’re way behind”

Hoping the rest of the day can be better, you instruct her on how to work the ER and she seems to be eager to follow your instructions.

A little too eager, as Yelena hurries to pull out a knife from a man’s leg and getting you sprayed with an alarming amount of blood.

“Oh, my God! I’m so sorry” she says, being pushed out of the way by Barnes so he can fix the mess.

You wipe your face and arms. Well, it’s been a while since you’ve had that happen.

“What did you do wrong?” you calmly ask Yelena.

“I… I didn’t take X-rays. Or his BP”

“Yeah, make sure that doesn’t happen again” you say, tired of being too hard on her. It’s clearly not working. “Stitch him up, I gotta get changed”

Cleaning up proves difficult when you don’t have a change of clothes in your bag. This is what you get when you’re in a hurry to leave.

“Don’t” you warn Tony when the elevator doors open and he watches your bloody scrubs.

“Fine. I won’t say I told you so”

“Screw you, Stark”

“Romanoffs! Evil!” he says as you roll your eyes, walking to your car.

Wanda’s reaction is a little different when she sees you come in.

“Oh, my God! Are you ok?”

“Not my blood” you reassure her. “I forgot my other scrubs. I’ll take a shower and throw these away”

“You got some on your lab coat too”

“Damn it” you raise your elbow. That’s gonna be a bitch to clean.

“Leave it, I was doing laundry tomorrow” Wanda says and you nod, smiling.

“Thanks”

Worrying about the mess Yelena could make while alone in the ER makes you hurry up, taking a quick shower and walking out of the bathroom in your underwear, jumping around as you put on your pants.

“In a hurry?” Wanda asks, eyeing you curiously.

“Yeah, she almost got someone killed while I was standing there. Wanna guess what happens if I leave for more than an hour?” you huff, looking for a new pair of sneakers. “Hey, how was it when the twins were born?”

“What do you mean?” Wanda tilts her head.

“I don’t know, we delivered twins today, and it made me wonder, what happened when Billy and Tommy were born, ya know? Was your family there? Did Pietro cry? All that”

“Oh, that’s a long story” Wanda smiles. You stand up, ready to leave and she leans forward. “Why don’t I tell you over dinner?”

“I’d like that” your heart flutters at her beautiful smile. She kisses your cheek.

“See you later”

“Bye, love” you smile, feeling like something’s changed between you two.

Hopefully, for the better.

—

Love: Happy ten months to us.

Love: I love you, detka

You smile at the text you got from Wanda right at midnight.

“It’s feeding time, wanna help?” Maria says as you stand outside of the NICU, watching their oxygen levels and temp.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, come on”

You both change into special gowns and cover your heads and shoes to avoid contamination. One of the nurses hands you the little girl and you begin to feed her, amazed at how strong she is in spite of being a preemie.

“You’re a natural” Maria comments and you laugh, while the baby wraps her entire hand around one of your fingers.

“Oh, man. It’s happening again. I’m catching baby fever. How have you managed your entire career, Maria?”

“Well, dealing with Carol is a lot like having a kid” she jokes and you both laugh.

Feeding time is over too soon for your liking and you’re honestly thinking you’ll come back before your shift ends just to enjoy this a bit longer.

And then Yelena walks in the room.

“Belova, you’re contaminating everything”

“Mrs. Hardwick is crashing”

“What do you mean, crashing?”

You run out of the NICU, hearing the code blue over the speakers. By the time you get to the room, Bucky is working with compressions. You spring to action, asking for medications and taking over CPR.

“Talk to me, Belova”

“We have a pulse” she says, not taking her eyes off the monitor.

“Ok, let’s do blood work and an ECG. Did you do the post op, Yelena?”

“Yes!”

“Every hour?”

“Every 45 minutes! Y/N, you have to believe me, I did everything. What about? Ok, I know I’m just an intern but I’ve read about peripartum cardiomyopathy?”

“It was a high risk pregnancy. We need to get those lab results to rule it out. The bad news is…”

“That in critical cases, a heart transplant is the only way. And there’s a high rejection rate” Yelena says, and you nod.

“Very good. I wish I could say you’re wrong, but it’s not the case”

The results aren’t good. Neither is your chat with Mr. Hardwick, who’s facing the potential loss of his wife and their children are still in the NICU.

“What are our options?”

“We can start with beta blockers, diuretic, other treatments. If it’s not good enough we will have to consider a heart transplant”

“How long will that take?” he says, desperate.

Your pager interrupts you. Her room again.

“Wait here”

But of course he doesn’t.

“She’s crashing again. Charge to 200”

“We have to do something now” Maria says, helping you with compressions.

“LVAD. It can be a bridge treatment for medical management or heart transplant. Page Ross” you turn to one of the nurses.

“He’s out”

“Then page him and tell him a woman is dying”

“He’s not in the country” Bucky clarifies.

“Alright, whoever’s available in Cardio, Jesus. Is that so hard to find? We’re not wasting any time, tell them to meet us in the OR…”

“Doctor Bernard is two hours away”

“Not good enough” you yell, feeling desperate. All you see is a woman with twins, like Wanda, who needs to see her babies grow up.

“Natasha’s still here” Yelena offers and you nod without hesitation.

“Call her”

The adrenaline makes it seem like it’s been a second since you began to prep for the surgery, and Natasha walks in, ready to go.

“An LVAD can be a temporary solution. But she needs the transplant. My mother is already calling UNOS”

“Ok, let’s begin” you nod. You stand opposite to Natasha, doing everything she asks.

Her movements are calculated and precise. You find yourself looking in awe at her skill.

She was born to be a surgeon.

“There’s a heart in Boston. You need to go now” Melina says when you’re almost done. Tony is right behind her. Seems like everyone wants this case to have a happy ending.

“I’ll go” you and Natasha say at the same time.

“Take the jet” Tony says. “Mine, not Romanoff's”

“Yeah, ok” you look at the clock. You have twelve hours for dinner with Wanda. “Let’s just wrap up before dinner, or my wife will be mad”

“Wife?” Maria says and you look up.

“Girlfriend. Sorry, my mind was elsewhere” you mutter, shaking your head.

“I didn’t know you’d propose. Congratulations” Natasha says, looking at you over her surgical mask.

“Not proposing… Not anytime soon at least, things haven’t been so… nice” you say, focusing on the LVAD.

“I’m sorry” Natasha says, and for the first time, it seems like she means it.

“Not your fault. Not all of it, at least” you joke in a low voice so only Natasha can hear.

“Jerk” she says, but there’s no malice in her tone. “We’re done here. I’ll leave instructions for the post OP while we get the heart”

“Jet’s waiting” Stark confirms.

“Thanks, Tony. You’re my favorite nepo baby” you smile, taking off your gloves.

—

It’s all a blur. People greet Natasha, and it feels like the entire room stops when she walks in. Of course, her family owns this place.

In Stark Hospital, she’s a guest,

Here, Natasha’s the boss.

One of them, at least.

“This is Doctor Y/L/N, scrubbing in with me”

You feel a little intimidated, at the sheer size of the hospital. Twice as big as the one you work at. So, maybe that’s why Tony doesn’t like them that much.

Men and their obsession with size.

“You should see the ER” Natasha says when she catches you looking around the facilities.

“Maybe some other time. Let’s get our heart”

“Now I think I just owe you a pair of lungs” she jokes and you laugh, remembering the time she went to Westview.

Everyone’s ready for the organ harvest but Natasha takes a deep breath, approaching the woman in the operating table.

“You’re about to save a mother’s life. We hope she can see her children grow up. Thank you”

With that, she turns to nod at you.

Again, you are in awe of her technique, even if it’s your third surgery together. You realize the first time you hadn’t noticed because you were too busy joking and admiring her green eyes.

Yeah, the damage to your relationship wasn’t Natasha’s fault at all.

I’m such an idiot.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, just worried”

“About being late for dinner?”

“Among other things” you say, avoiding her stare.

“Well, we’re done here. Let’s get back to Westview”

—-

This is the third time she calls you. Wanda looks at her phone, worried that something might have happened to you.

She decides to call the hospital, but it’s Kate who answers the ER line.

“Kate, hi. Is Y/N ok? She hasn’t called or texted” Wanda says, holding her phone between her cheek and her shoulder, getting the laundry ready. She picks up your lab coat, and a sheet of paper falls.

An offer letter.

To work with the Romanoffs.

“Hi, Miss Maximoff. She’s on her way back from Boston. Her and Doctor Romanoff…”

“She went to Boston? With Natasha?” Wanda stops reading the letter, catching up to what Kate is saying.

“Well yeah, we had a…”

“I have to go” Wanda hangs up, dropping the phone.

She reads the letter one more time before crumpling it in a ball.

—

It’s been a while since you had such an intense shift. I mean, sure, maybe fishing Yelena out of the water was hard, but this was one of those cases that had the entire hospital on edge.

Mrs. Hardwick is in post OP with a new heart, and her twins are getting stronger by the hour. You desperately hope there’s a happy ending.

Also, you made it in time for dinner, with some actual time to shower.

“Hey” you greet Wanda when you walk in. She’s sitting in the dining table, glaring at you.

“You have a lot of nerve to show up”

You’re about to ask what’s wrong when she throws a ball of paper your way. Of course, the offer letter.

“Wanda”

“No, don’t even start. You broke your promise. Why were you in Boston? Looking for a new place?”

“Jesus fuck, Wanda!” you shout, exhausted. “I was in Boston for a heart transplant so a woman who just had twins can live. I mean, a mother could have died, her babies are still in an incubator and you are worried about a job I’m not even gonna take? Get a fucking grip!”

“Don’t talk to me like that. You said that you were done speaking to her, that nothing was happening. And now this?”

“Her mother made the offer that I rejected because my family is here. As for the surgery, well, yeah, I broke my promise for a good reason. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, your wife will have to die because my girlfriend is paranoid?”

“Don’t you dare call me paranoid when you kissed her, not to mention all the times you were calling her Professor Romanoff, or how you always talked about having dinner or going out”

“How do you…?” it takes a moment and Wanda licks her lips nervously, looking away. “You went through my phone”

“What else was I supposed to do? Here she is, this stunning woman that is offering you so much thrill and excitement while I’m nagging you about taking out the trash. And not only that, but a chance at a better life too”

“So you went through my phone and my stuff. That’s great, Wanda. Very healthy and mature” you run your hands over your face, resisting the urge to kick the wall. “I would never sign that stupid contract, in a million years. Our life is here, but no matter what I do, you always doubt I’m committed”

“You’ve been lying to me for weeks and I’m the bad guy” Wanda says, looking defeated. “Is that all you have to say? No apology for hurting me? For betraying me?”

“I apologized over the kiss. I kept my promise and yeah, I broke it to save a life. Natasha’s on a plane back to Boston, and she’s never coming here again. But if you can’t trust me…” you sigh, and wipe the tears that roll down your cheeks. “If you don’t trust me, I don’t see how we can do this. Because then the issue isn’t Natasha. It’s us”

“You’re right” Wanda says after a beat of silence. You relax at her words, thinking the fight is over and you can talk rationally about it. Her next words hit you like a brick wall. “I don’t trust you. And I don’t think I ever will again”

Wanda stares at you, until you look away and sigh.

“Then what? The kids…”

“They are my children. I should have never involved them, that was my mistake and it is one I’ll never make again. We’ve been doing good our whole lives, just the three of us. It’s best if you leave us alone. We will be better”

We’ll be better without you.

“I should go” is all you say, closing the door behind you.

—-

Bucky leaves the hospital, sighing. What a day. He even stopped by the NICU to see those cute babies.

He’s about to get on his motorcycle when he spots you, sitting in a bench.

“Hey. Came to check on your patient?”

“Yeah. And talk to the Chief” you sigh, looking at him. “How about that drink we talked about?”

“I’m kinda tired”

“You sure? Because this is the only chance you’ll get”

“What do you mean?” he asks, noticing the tear that rolls down your cheek.

“Well, I just quit my job”

[lowytavis]

But you're not Xaden - Bodhi Durran x Reader

Warning - love confessions

____

"But you’re not Xaden, and I don’t want you to be fucking Xaden, Bodhi! Why don’t you get that?" she screamed, her voice raw with frustration.

Then, before I could even open my mouth to respond, she slammed the door in my face.

The sharp bang echoed down the empty hallway, leaving me standing there, fists clenched, jaw tight.

My arms were trembling—with anger, frustration, and grief.

“Please, open the door, Y/N,” I pleaded, my voice raw with emotion. But nothing.

No response.

I waited another ten minutes in front of her door, clinging to the desperate hope that she would change her mind.

But nothing happened. No footsteps, no muffled sobs—just silence.

“What are you doing here?” Xaden’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

He was walking down the hallway, Violet tucked securely in his arms.

The sight of them made my anger flare up instantly.

“Why the fuck do you care Xaden? Not everyone can be as fucking perfect as you are.” I snapped, my voice harsher than I intended.

Without wasting another second, I turned on my heel and stormed into my own room, slamming the door shut behind me.

____

(YN POV)

I muffled my own silent cries. Bodhi didn’t need to hear them, and I was certain—100% sure—that he was still outside my room.

A few minutes ago, I heard his desperate pleas, begging me to open the door.

But now? Silence.

Until suddenly, his voice erupted again—but not directed at me.

He was yelling at someone else. Xaden. Great.

Exactly the person who started this whole mess. Well, not on purpose, but still.

Bodhi just didn’t get it. He didn’t need to be like Xaden. Hell, I didn’t want him to be like Xaden.

But that didn’t stop him from trying.

Not once, since we started dating a few weeks ago, had he just been himself.

Before all of this, before us, he was Bodhi.

But now? Now, he wasn’t Bodhi Durran anymore. He was acting like a fucking Riorson.

And it was driving me insane.

From the other side of the door, I heard Bodhi’s voice, sharp with frustration. “Why the fuck do you care, Xaden? Not everyone can be as fucking perfect as you are!”

Then—frantic footsteps. Fading. Leaving.

I let out a sob, loud and unrestrained, no longer caring if anyone heard.

A soft knock followed.

I hesitated, then pulled the door open—only to be met with a confused-looking Xaden and a frowning Violet.

"Hi," I choked out, stepping aside to let both of them in.

Violet gave me a concerned look as she walked in, her voice soft.

"What’s going on, Y/N? I thought you and Bodhi were almost... boyfriend-girlfriend official?"

She muttered the last part hesitantly, like she wasn’t sure if she should say it out loud.

Xaden, on the other hand, just frowned in confusion, dropping into my armchair without a word.

"I thought so too," I sobbed, wiping at my face. My gaze flickered to Xaden. "But your cousin—he’s trying too hard to be a Riorson. To be you. When all I want is Bodhi."

Xaden let out a short, amused chuckle. "He what?"

I exhaled shakily, frustrated beyond words. "He tries to act like you. It’s our fifth date, and things were getting pretty serious, Xaden. But he keeps ruining it by doing shit you would do. Not what he would do. You and Bodhi are polar opposites, but he just—" My voice cracked, and I shook my head. "He doesn’t seem to understand that he is enough."

Another sob escaped my lips before I could stop it.

Violet wrapped her arms around me, holding me in a gentle embrace.

Her voice was soft, almost hesitant. "Is there anything we can do? Anything I can do?"

I shook my head, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"No... but thank you for stopping by."

I hesitated, my fingers gripping the hem of my sleeve.

"Also—please don’t tell Bodhi anything. I... we’ll see how—if—this turns out."

Violet exchanged a glance with Xaden, but she just nodded, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

____

Breakfast was awkward.

Uncomfortably so.

Usually, we all sat together—Xaden and Violet, Dain and Sloane, Ridoc with one of his flings, Sawyer third-wheeling him, Rhiannon and Tara.

And then there was always Bodhi and me. Snuggled up together, even before we were dating. Because we were best friends.

But now? The dynamic had shifted. Bodhi sat at another table with Garrick and Imogen, his back turned to me.

It felt wrong.

Like something had cracked in a place I didn’t know could break.

I must’ve looked lost because Sawyer tapped my side, snapping me out of it.

"Hey, Y/N, scoot down here," he said, smiling knowingly.

I swallowed hard and slid down next to him, murmuring a quiet "Thanks."

Tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to spill.

"Try to hold them in, love," Sawyer muttered, nudging me gently.

His voice was warm, kind. One of the kindest souls I knew—along with Bodhi. And that thought alone nearly broke me.

I stabbed my fork into my food, but I hadn’t taken a single bite. Hadn’t even tried. My stomach was in knots, and I knew—if I did eat—I wouldn’t be able to keep it down.

Bodhis POV

I felt her before I even saw her. The air shifted, thick with the weight of her presence, and it took me a long while to muster the courage to actually look at her.

She slumped in her seat. Not in her usual spot. But then again, neither was I. She sat next to Sawyer, who nudged her lightly. J

ealousy pricked at me, but I quickly reminded myself that she wasn’t mine. Sadly.

She slammed her fork into her food with a sharp *clink*, but didn’t take a single bite.

*Cuir,* I called through our bond, my voice low. *Tell Clover to tell Y/N she must eat.*

*Very well,* Cuir responded. His tone made my skin crawl with a mix of annoyance and something deeper I couldn’t place.

But I didn’t have time to argue with him as the rest of my table began standing up, preparing to leave.

I glanced at Y/N one last time, unable to stop myself.

Our eyes locked for a brief moment.

She held the fork in her hand, but then slowly, painfully, placed it in her mouth. She forced a smile, but the tears welling in her eyes—those were impossible to hide.

And it broke me. 

"Can we talk?" Y/N mumbled from behind me, her voice barely audible.

I was already preparing for the sparring match with Xaden, mentally focusing, tightening my grip on the moment.

''No,'' I said sternly, pulling my shirt off and stepping onto the mat. I didn't look back. I couldn't.

Xaden and I squared off, the fight beginning with each of us pushing and pulling, testing each other's limits.

My movements were sharp, but my mind kept drifting. Every punch, every block, felt empty—like I was trying to fight off something that wasn’t even in the ring with me. 

I could feel the adrenaline coursing through me as I squared off with Xaden.

The mat beneath my feet was slick with sweat, and my muscles were already burning from the intensity of the fight, but I refused to back down.

This wasn’t about winning; it was about control—something I had to find, especially with everything else falling apart.

Xaden moved first, a blur of motion. He swung high, testing my defense. I blocked, stepping back, trying to predict his next move. He was faster than I expected, more fluid than anyone I’d ever sparred with. But I wasn’t going to let him get the better of me.

I jabbed toward his ribs, but he anticipated it, dodging to the side with a grin that was almost too knowing. Damn him, I thought. He was always so composed, like he knew exactly how to push me without breaking a sweat.

I lunged again, this time more aggressively, swinging for his head. He blocked easily, the force of his arm knocking me off balance. My heart hammered in my chest as I stumbled back, trying to regain my footing.

"You need to focus, Bodhi," Xaden's voice came low, taunting. I gritted my teeth, anger flaring inside me.

He was right. My mind wasn’t on the fight. It was on everything else—the mess with Y/N, the tension building between us, the way I couldn’t seem to do anything right lately.

Xaden’s next strike came without warning—a quick jab to my stomach, knocking the air out of me.

I wheezed, vision blurring for a second as I gasped for breath. He pressed the advantage, stepping closer, pushing me into a corner. I tried to push back, but it felt like my body was betraying me. He was everywhere, his fists like lightning, his movements a step ahead of mine every time.

I barely saw it coming. A punch straight to my jaw, hard enough to snap my head back.

Everything around me spun, and before I could even react, I felt the world tilt. The impact from the punch rattled my skull, and in that split second, I was completely out of control. My knees buckled, and I felt the floor rush up to meet me. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

The last thing I saw was Xaden's face, a flicker of concern mixed with something else—something I couldn’t place—before everything went black.

(YN POV)

I saw Xaden’s punch coming before Bodhi even had time to react, and I swear, I could feel it in my own chest when it landed. Bodhi stumbled, took a step back, then another. And then, he fell.

I didn’t think. I just moved.

I jumped up from where I had been sitting on the nearby mat and rushed over to him, my heart pounding in my throat.

Dropping to my knees beside him, I gently lifted his face, my hands trembling.

“Bodhi... Bodhi, Bodhi...” I muttered, my voice breaking with every word.

His eyes were unfocused, and his breathing was shallow. Panic surged through me, my fingers brushing against his skin, searching for any sign of life.

Xaden's hands were suddenly on me, pulling me away. His grip was firm, but careful, as he lifted me up by my arm.

“He’ll be alright, Y/N,” Xaden said, his voice oddly calm in the chaos of the moment. “A concussion, maybe. Let’s get him to his room.”

But even as he said the words, I could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on me, the uncertainty clouding my mind.

____

I had been sitting beside Bodhi’s bed for what felt like hours. Two hours, to be exact.

The rain outside had started pouring, the sound of it slapping against the window oddly soothing, calming me down.

Sitting here, next to him, felt like the only thing that could ground me right now. No matter the circumstances, he always felt like home.

I gently swiped a damp cloth over his forehead, carefully wiping away the last traces of blood, my hand trembling slightly.

He stirred then, a soft groan escaping his lips.

“Bodhi, carefully,” I mumbled softly, pressing him back down into the pillow.

“Y/N…” His voice was low, raspy, like he was waking from a dream, eyes wide and unfocused.

“Careful, Bod. You’ve got a concussion. Xaden got you pretty good.” I chuckled lightly, wiping his cheeks gently with the cloth.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he murmured, his voice still thick with exhaustion.

“Always will,” I whispered back, my fingers lingering on his skin.

“I’m sorry I’m not perfect—” I didn’t let him finish.

I leaned closer, cutting him off before the words could leave his mouth.

“Stop, Bodhi. Please.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, my voice shaking.

“You are perfect. You are all I want. And yes, you’re not like Xaden. You’ll never be Xaden, Bodhi. But you are Bodhi Durran. My best friend. The kind one. You’re one of the kindest souls I know, and—”

I took a shaky breath. “God, I love you so fucking much, Bodhi. It hurts me.” 

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

I had confessed my love.

We had never said those words before, never crossed that line, but in that moment, it felt right. It felt fitting.

Bodhi’s eyes widened in shock.

“Say that again.”

I hesitated, feeling the weight of my own confession settling in my chest. But there was no taking it back now.

“I love you, Bodhi Durran,” I choked out, my voice trembling.

Tears didn’t fall, but I could feel them swelling behind my eyes.

“I’ve loved you for years. I think I always will, Bodhi.”

His expression softened, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

“I love you too, Y/N. So much. So, so fucking much.”

My heart swelled at his words, a mixture of relief and joy flooding me.

Then, without warning, he pulled me in, his lips capturing mine in a soft, lingering kiss. The world seemed to fade around us, everything that had been heavy and painful just disappearing.

But then he pulled away, a low growl of pain escaping him.

I chuckled softly, pulling back just enough to smile at him.

“We better wait until you’re better to make out.”

“No fucking way.” Bodhi muttered, his eyes filled with mischief.

Before I could react, he pulled me back in, deepening the kiss immediately, ignoring the pain in favor of this moment we’d both been holding back for too long.

[pb5luvr]

not “just a video”

a/n: heyyy. i’m back!! maybe…anyways im back to writing pazzi since you guys did NOT like the paige x reader fic LMAO. this is based of a fic i saw but i forgot the author my apologies 😔😔 also i kinda fucking hate this so sorry if you do too

3rd POV

azzi lay awake scrolling on her phone while paige was dead asleep next to her. she wasn’t watching anything particular, just scrolling on tiktok watching funny tiktoks that made her stifle her laugh and paige edits that she saved to her collection. the collection paige had no idea about.

just as she was about to shut her phone off for the night, one video in particular caught her eye. it was an animated video of a dog who was abandoned by its owners. in the video, the dog was caught in a storm and was trying to find places for warmth. with sad music playing in the background, azzi was so invested she didn’t even notice the tears welling in her eyes.

as azzi continued watching the sad but fake video, the tears began to fall. at the end of the video, it showed the dog finding a person who was homeless to sit with and the person gladly accepted the dog. this happy ending only made azzi cry harder. she was on her period after all.

unfortunately, azzi failed to keep quiet and let out a small sob when the video stopped. quickly, she stilled. she was not about to make paige wake up to her crying over some random tiktok. of course, paige being the light sleeper she was, did wake up.

“azzi?” paige asked groggily, feeling the space next to her where azzi lay

“yeah?” azzi responded, sniffling, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes in hopes paige wouldn’t notice

paige shifted so she was now face to face with azzi.

“baby, why are still-“ paige started before she noticed azzi’s watery eyes, “are you crying?” she asked, concerned

“what? nooo” azzi tried playing it off

“don’t lie to me az” paige said softly but firm

tears brimmed azzi’s eyes as she suddenly remembered the video.

“the dog paige” she said before beginning to cry a bit louder

paige, confused as ever, didn’t say anything but pulled azzi into her arms as she cradled azzi’s head into her chest and started rubbing up and down azzi’s back.

“baby what dog?” paige asked, trying to find the reason for her girlfriends tears

“in the video” azzi responded, still sniffling, “on tiktok”

“can you show me the video, my love?” paige asked, reaching for azzi’s phone

azzi turned around and paige’s arms so paige was now spooning her. paige, knowing azzi’s password, unlocked her phone and pulled up tiktok. the video, still on azzi’s for you page, played for both to see. of course, the video made azzi cry again while paige held back a laugh.

“baby it’s just a video” paige said as she shut azzi’s phone off

“no it’s not you don’t understand paige!” azzi replied as paige’s words made her cry harder. her hormones were going crazy.

“oh azzi” paige whispered as she pressed her lips to azzi’s temple, “you need some sleep”

reluctantly, azzi shifted in paige’s arms so that she was back laying on paige’s chest.

stubbornly, azzi didn’t say anything as paige played with her hair and traced lazy circles on her back. meanwhile, paige was still trying to hold back a laugh as she recalled azzi’s emotions over the video.

“i love you” paige said softly

azzi let out a loud huff, her way of telling paige she was annoyed with her.

“i love you too” azzi whispered softly, still mad at paige but couldn’t not say ‘i love you’ back

this only made paige smile more knowing she made her girlfriend crack. with that dumb smirk on her face, paige closed her eyes and let sleep take her over, once again.

[igotanidea]

Haircut: Jason Todd x reader

Inspired by the post from @pop-culturereference about what Jason's fans really want from DC (link here)

***

„AH!!”

An involuntary scream left her mouth the second she came home. Jason was not used to his girlfriend being so expressive, but protective instinct kicked in as he jumped off the couch he was reading a book on and immediately rushed to her side.

“Y/N! Love, what happened?” his hands found hers, squeezing them gently, trying to ground her in reality and assure her that whatever scared her so much was no match for him.

“What happened to you?” she sobbed, not even trying to stop the tears running down her cheeks.

“Huh?” Jason frowned “Look, I know I’m not exactly model handsome, but—”

“WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!” she wailed as if someone was tearing her heart out or squeezing her lungs.

“What are you--?” he tried again, quite taken aback by the intensity of her emotions. She wasn’t ever crying this much when he came home bloodied and bruised. She never let a single muscle on her face twitch while  patching him up. But when he was okay, just chilling and for once – not getting into trouble she got into a waterfall mode. “Y/n? Look at me. Look at me!” he grabbed her chin and forced her eyes on him.

“I AM!”

“Then you can see I’m all good. It’s all good! Come on baby, whatever fear took over your brain, you have to wake up from this!”

“Your hair!” she broke into crying fit again

“My hair?” he instinctively ran his fingers through his strands. “What about them?”

“WHERE IS IT?”

Oh.

Oh, so finally they were getting to the bottom of the problem.

He cut his hair shorter than she was used to and clearly she didn’t like it.

“Look, I just thought-“

“Was it Roy? I’m sure it was Roy. I swear to God, I’m gonna kill him! How is it that I leave you guys for a few hours and you always end up causing trouble.”

“It was not—”

“Then who was it? Dick?”

“Ugh! As if I would ever let him anywhere near my head!”

“Then who helped you did this atrocity?” she pressed, taking a look at his inch-long strands.

“I did it myself.” He responded, almost sounding proud.

“You-you-yourself…?” Y/N’s eyes grew wide as she stuttered. Her bag was dropped to the ground with a concerning sound of rattling, but neither of them care about the possibility of something being crashed. They had more urgent matters at the moment. The sense of betrayal slowly started creeping inside her heart.

“It’s just hair—”

“Just hair?! Are you insane?” she snapped at him “You should have asked me what I think first!”

“But—”

“Do not argue with me, Jason! You’re my boyfriend! It is not just about what you like! You can’t just act on whims without finding out my approach to the matter!”

“It’s just hair—” once more, the poor attempt at reaching her reason failed.

“How am I supposed to run my fingers through it now? And how am I supposed to live without your mop tickling me when we cuddle?”

“Y/n…” he smiled softly, cupping her cheek, meeting her eyes

“I liked them longer… I’m sorry if that hits your insecurities, but—”

“It does make me a little unsure, not gonna lie.” He chuckled. “But only a little. Cause what I’m hearing now, is that you liked my wilder look. For example when I was taking the hood off and have my hair all ruffled? Or when I was –”

“I see what you are trying to do here, Mr. Todd and I’m not falling for it.” Y/N read right through his intentions to invoke an innuendo and tried to step back.

“Come on, baby.” Jason quickly grabbed her waist, circling arms around her like two snakes, preventing her from backing out. “Admit it. You liked the bad boy image I had. It turned you on, didn’t it?”

“Well it doesn’t anymore—“

“Guess that only means, I’ll have to try twice as hard… Cause too bad for you, sunshine, my hair is gonna stay like that for a while. So you have to like it. “

“Oh really-?”

“Most definitely. In fact, I think I’m gonna ditch the longer hair for good. This kind of haircut is so much more practical, you know. No strands sticking to my forehead when we get sweaty. None of them in my eyes when I fight only in the domino mask, no tangles and all that stuff-“

“You’re terrible!”

“Yeah, yeah I am, and what are you going to do about it baby?” he smirked and leaned forward, giving her a teasing look “you love me either way, we both know it.”

“Well maybe I should cut my hair too.” Her eyes glistened with mischief “you know- to match your new style.”

“What?” Jason turned a little pale. His princess was going to get rid of her perfect locks?! Over his dead body! (Even if that meant dying again.) “You are not!”

“Too bad for you I already made that decision. In fact I’m gonna go to the hairdresser first thing tomorrow—”

“I won’t let you out of here! You can’t just make such important decisions without talking to me first!”

“But I just told you.” She fluttered her eyelashes innocently.

“And the answer is no!”

“It was not a question.”

“You are not cutting your hair. It is not only yours! It’s mine too! We’re a couple, practically like one being!”

“Well maybe if we attach some of mine to your head we can both have what we want?”

“I got a better idea. I’ll keep you trapped here for as long as mine grow back, how about that?”

“And what shall we do for so many months Mr Todd?” she hummed with a glint in her eyes.”

“Duh! I’ll make sure to convince you that the length of my hair is not the one that should be of your concern, baby…” Jason smirked letting his hoarse tone reveal what was on his mind.

Was he acting like a hypocrite? Yes.

Did she care? No.

Cause one thing that was absolutely sure about Jason Todd that there was only one like him in the world. Capable of twisting the words in a way that always turned the situation a little less serious. And whatever hairstyle he was sporting, she was not going to change him for anyone else.

[ruinedsapphic]

On my knees begging for smut with Cassandra Kiramman eating out fem reader please 🙏 And how does she like the reader to return the favor? Hands or mouth or strap?

a.n: feed me more whoever said this I fw u (asks are still open! feel free to talk!)

warnings: milf x underage fem reader, fingering, oral, cunt slapping, hyperfemme reader/heavy sensitive reader :3 (no reader is not a goddamn child grow up..???), modern au because in arcane she’s already…quite…um..you know! Cassandra canon age while reader is entering her late 20s.

“five,” Cassandra told, her tone serious but not unkind. her gloved hand repeatedly slapped your abused cunt, it was already leaking with previous orgasms Cassandra gave you but she wasn’t even satisfied yet! she wanted you to return the favor as well but first, it’s mama’s job to be first! ^_^ the glove texture rubbed down harshly on your clit, causing you to whine out and grasp onto her shoulders before she slapped them away from her. “mm. I haven’t recalled you to touch me, have I?”

your face turned into a scrunched pout, your manicured hands going down to the silk covered sheets, one hand on the sheets and another was gripping the pillow behind your head. You slightly pulled down the pillow to your face, biting onto the soft texture of the pillow. Cassandra was NEVER the type to get messy, but when she’s alone with you? The only thing she’ll get messy with is how she speaks and how well she uses her mouth. She watched you almost like a prey eyeing down its predator before giving you a smirk, “can’t you give me another? Caitlyn’s not coming in, don’t worry. She’s with her little girlfriend.” She reassured, the thought of Caitlyn coming in to see her mom destroying an innocent civilian? Interesting.. Her gloved hand spreaded your folds once again, her face going between your thighs all over again.

You didn’t even know how long it has been, but she finally came off you, she looked down at your spent cunt, seeing the fluids come out of your entrance, she swiped them up with her fingers before shoving them back inside you. “So fucking messy.”

BUTTT when it’s your turn to return the favor? she is NOT playing about it. She never decides to bottom, never. Unless she’s drunk then maybe you get to top but that’s like every blue moon! Though….

The one time you did decide to try it out, the only thing you had with her was your mouth. Your mouth latching onto her clit and you weren’t listening to her at all, you literally sucked the soul out of her body, just because she’s old and you two have quite the age gap, it doesn’t mean you guys can’t have fun!!

you can only recall the point where you were messily eating her out, the obscene slurping noises and your manicured hands digging into her thighs to force her to stop squirming and moving, spitting and biting down on the poor woman’s cunt. That was the only time you had fun. Her moans and sobs were definitely music to yours ears.

Only time. Do wish it’s once in awhile though.

[russo-woso]

I’ve always loved you || G!P Leah Williamson x reader

Request | Masterlist

Warning smut 18+, G!P content, cunnilingus,

Summary Leah’s always loved you but has kept her feelings hidden, but when your girlfriend cheats on you, Leah takes it upon herself to make you feel the love you deserve

“You fucking cheated on me, Liz! You’ve been cheating on me for four months!” You shouted, your girlfriend standing on the other side of the room as she shook her head.

“If you were good enough, I wouldn’t have had to cheat on you! You’re not good enough, Y/N! You’ll never be good enough. You’re shit at football! You’re shit in bed! You’re a shit girlfriend. That’s why I fucking cheated.” Liz screamed back, inching closer and closer to you as she held out her index finger.

Tears bubbled in your eyes but you couldn’t let her see how much this had hurt you.

“You’ll never be good enough for anyone.” She said, her finger pushing at your chest after every word.

“Get the fuck out of my house! I’m done with you.”

“It’s my house too!”

“Are you on the mortgage? Do you pay the mortgage? Do you do anything around here that even remotely comes close to what I do? No! So get the fuck out of my house!”

“I’ll happily leave.”

And with that, Liz stormed out, slamming the door leaving you shaking and crying.

Something had changed between you and Liz months ago but you thought maybe it was a blip and that everything would go back to normal, but after that… that’s definitely not the case.

You reached for your phone, clicking on the number of the person you needed the most.

“Le?”

“Hiya baby, what’s up?” Leah asked, her flirty voice evident in her voice.

You and Leah had always had a close friendship, that friendship being one where everyone thinks you’re a couple but just best friends instead.

Leah had always been the too cocky for her own good one, always flirting with whoever, whenever.

“I broke up with Liz. She’s been cheating on me.” You admitted, your voice small and hoarse.

“Oh, Y/N. I’ll be right there, babe. Is the door unlocked?” Leah asked and you hummed in response. “I’ll be ten minutes, I promise.”

“Thank you, le.”

Leah kept her promise and was at your house within ten minutes.

She walked into the living room to find you curled up in a ball, sobbing your heart out.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here now. Shh… follow my breathing.” Leah cooed softly, pulling you onto her lap.

You listened, your breath soon evening out as the odd year fell down your cheek.

“There we go.” Leah’s said, pulling your hair out of your face. “What happened, Y/N? What did she do?”

“She’s been cheating on me for the past four months. I found a bra in her car and it wasn’t mine. The things she said though… to me. They were-” you began but stopped as you felt tears well in your eyes again.

“Hey, it’s okay. You can stop if you want to.”

“She said that I wasn’t enough, that I’ll never be enough for anyone.” You revealed, anger consuming Leah as she heard the words that had been shouted at you.

“You’ll always be enough, babe. You always have been and you always will be. She took you for granted. You need to find someone who loves you for you. Someone who loves everything about you, your eyes, your hair, your lips, your heart, your kindness, your caring nature. Someone who’s known you for years, someone who has always loved you and always will.” Leah whispered, her voice now soft.

“Like who? Tell me, Leah, who will love me?”

“I will love you. I’ve always loved you. And that’s why I always hated Liz because she took you away from me. You’ve always supposed to be mine. Let me show you how love is supposed to be like. Let me love you, Y/N.” Leah said, her hands now firm on your hips as you moved to straddle her lap.

“Show me what love feels like, le. Love me.” You murmured, your lips meeting hers as they connected.

Your hand reached for the back of her neck, your fingers playing with her baby hairs as your lips slid over hers.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Leah mumbled as you both pulled apart for air.

Instead of replying, you placed your lips on hers.

Leah grabbed at your hips, squeezing gently, allowing her tongue to slip into your mouth - taking control of the kiss.

You moaned as her tongue licked the roof of your mouth.

Her lips - in a rush of desperation - moved from your mouth to your neck.

“I need you, baby.” She murmured against your neck.

“I need you too, le. I need you so bad.”

You couldn’t believe how quickly everything had changed.

Three minutes ago, you’d been on the floor crying, and now here you were straddling your best friend’s lap as she kissed your neck.

“Can I?” Leah asked, her hands finding the bottom of your shirt.

“Yes.” You breathed out, allowing her to take your shirt off.

She soon reached to your back, undoing your bra with one hand.

“Show off.” You smiled as she smirked at you.

“God, you’re so beautiful babe.” Leah said, her lips finding the valley of your breasts. “She never deserved you. You were always too good for her.”

You whined at her words and the feeling of her lips on your nipples.

“Gonna make you feel so good.”

You rolled your hips over her growing bulge.

“Take me to the bedroom, le.”

Leah stood up with you in her arms, whisking you up the stairs and to the bedroom.

She placed you on the bed, admiring you before hovering over you.

Connecting your lips, you pulled at her shirt, which she took off.

The next few moments, you spent taking each other’s clothes off, admiring one another whilst keeping your lips connecting.

Leah’s lips moved down your body gently, making sure every part of your body felt cherished.

Leah had something to prove tonight - she had to prove that you could be loved, that she could love you.

You felt her breath against your inner thighs before the feeling of her tongue separating your folds.

Leah moaned shamelessly into your pussy.

“Fuck, you taste so fucking good.”

You released a shaky breath, Leah’s tongue lapping at your folds.

You rested on your forearms, looking down at Leah.

She looked up at you, her eyes full of love and affection.

She sucked gently at your clit, admiring in the way how your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

The whole scene, you in front of her, your taste, it was all too much for Leah.

She had dreamed of this for months.

She ground her hips into the bed, her dick rubbing against the duvet.

She moaned, causing vibrations to run through your pussy.

“Oh, le. You’re gonna make me cum, baby.” You managed to say, your voice shaky as pleasure coursed through you. “I’m so close. Please.”

“Cum for me, love. Let me watch you cum.”

Within a final lap of your core, you came on Leah’s tongue.

Your back arched off the bed as you cried her name.

Your chest heaved up and down as you came down from your high.

Leah sat up, a proud smirk on her face as she looked at you.

“Do you have a condom?” She asked, as you shook your head.

“I’m on birth control. It’s fine. You don’t need one.”

“Are you sure?”

“100%. I just need you, le.” You told her, your fingers wrapping round her length.

“Fuck.” She grunted, her hips jerking at the contact. “On your knees.”

You listened to her, getting onto your knees as her hands came up to rest on your ass, kneading it gently.

She lined her dick up with your pussy, pushing the tip in before slowly stretching you out.

Her head fell back at the feeling of you around her dick.

“Oh my god, le…” you whined, reaching behind and grabbing the back of her thigh for comfort.

“I’m here, baby. I know.” She cooed, rubbing your back.

She bottomed out and allowed you to get used to her.

Slowly, she pulled out before thrusting back in.

“Being such a good girl, darlin’.”

You shut your eyes as your pussy was filled again by her dick.

“Faster, le.”

Leah did what you said, speeding up her thrusts.

Her hands on your hips pulled you back to meet her thrusts.

Your jaw dropped, your hands scrunching the duvet under you at the feeling.

Moans fell relentlessly from your lips, your mind not being able to process anything apart from pleasure.

Leah’s dick pounded into you as a loud smack was heard, an immediate red mark forming on your ass.

“Oh my god! Fuck! I’m gonna cum!” You screamed, your arms giving way as your head fell onto the bed.

“Fuck, im gonna cum too. Your pussy feels so fucking good.”

“I’m gonna cum, Leah.” You warned her, your eyes squeezing shut.

“Wait, baby. Cum with me. Hold it just for a minute.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can.”

“Le…”

Leah sped up her thrusts, hitting your sweet spot over and over again.

“Leah!”

“Cum, love.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, you came all over her dick.

Leah’s thrusts slowed down as she pumped her cum into you.

Leah collapsed next to you, out of breath and sweaty.

“Come here.” She whispered, helping you to cuddle on her chest. “I’ll get you cleaned up in a minute. I want you to know first that you will always be loved by me. I’ve loved you since I first saw you Y/N and I’ll never stop loving you. No matter what people tell you, I’ll always love you. What liz said was so wrong.”

“I’ll always love you too, Leah.”

“Be my girlfriend? I know you’ve just broke up with liz but I’ve waited so long. I understand—”

You cut her off by connecting your lips with hers.

“I’d love to, le.”

[babydoll372]

Babies

Pairings: older!emily prentiss x younger!r (Emily is early 50’s and R is around 26)

Word count: 1977

Warnings: angst, kidnapping mentions, mental exhaustion, age gap, breeding kink, slight belly bulge kink, mentions of masturbation, slight oral (r receiving), intersex!emily, p in v, cumming inside

Emily got on the jet to head back home, quickly wiping her eyes before anyone could see her emotions. This was one of the toughest cases she faced, and she knew it would be the moment Garcia mentioned there were children involved. It brought out this deep maternal side of her she never really got to use considering she spent her prime years working herself to grey hair. Now she was in her early fifties with only dreams and regrets of the life she could’ve had compared to the one she did. She loved her friends that she called family, and she loved her beautiful girlfriend, but there was just something missing.

JJ sat across from her and tapped the table, making Emily zone back into reality as she was faced with the blonde woman who held a concerned gaze.

“Hey, you okay? I know this case was..rough, trust me, it was on all of us.” JJ said, trying to coax her friend into talking but Emily scoffed under her breath.

“I’m not a mom, it shouldn’t affect me this much.” She looked up when she heard the other woman’s laugh, as if the statement was absurd.

“Are you serious? We just saved multiple innocent little kids under the age of ten from being slaughtered to death. They will never be the same again, Emily, and you are allowed to mourn that for them.”

“…I just wish I could’ve protected them more, I don’t know. I know we protected them, I know we saved them from literal death, but I just wish I could’ve done more.” Emily said with regret, looking out the window as she leaned her head back on the chair, not wanting to face the tightness swelling in her throat.

“We all do. But there’s nothing you could’ve done to stop him from taking those kids, you saved them..give yourself some credit, okay? Don’t beat yourself up over what you couldn’t have done and just think about going home and finally getting some rest.” JJ said to lighten the mood, adding a small chuckle at the end as Emily followed, but she wasn’t finding anything funny. She just wanted to be with you, you knew how to make her feel okay. Her friend was trying her best, and she was doing a good job, she’ll admit, but all Emily needed right now was you.

And when the BAU Chief got home that night she knew you’d be asleep, but yet she was still holding out hope that you were somehow waiting for her, fully awake and ready to care for her needs. It was selfish, maybe, but she needed to be right now. She entered your shared bedroom and found you peacefully sleeping in one of her old band t-shirts and shorts, making her smile at the sight. She did everything as normal, showered, got dressed, brushed her teeth, all before lying in bed behind you and wrapping her arms around you. She thought she could wait until morning to talk to you, but she proved herself wrong when she broke out into a gutterful sob, her body shaking as she clung onto you tightly. You slowly arose, turning around to face her as you went from barely awake to concerned in mere seconds.

“Hey, hey, Em, talk to me, what’s going on?” You worriedly spoke, sitting up right as she followed, and one hand fell on her lower back as the other came to her shoulder. “Why don’t we take some deep breaths together, okay? Breathe in…and breathe out. Follow me, baby - breathe in…and breathe out…” You repeated this for a few minutes until her sobs turned into gentle cries, her chest now slowly rising and falling at a normal rate.

“Are you ready to talk or do you need some time?” She shook her head no and didn’t say anything else, and so you presumed she wasn’t yet ready to speak. “That’s alright, I can wait. I’ll just tell you about my day, hopefully that’ll get your mind off of things. Well, first I woke up with a text from my awesome girlfriend and that made my whole day better. Then I got up and went to the store and guess who was working there? Sam! Remember him? From the gym? He was that guy who- never mind, it doesn’t matter. Anyways, I was shopping as usual when I realized, I forgot my wallet! So then-“

“I want a baby.” She cut you off, yet you could almost not make out her tiny, whispered voice that was held with a shakiness.

“C-come again?” You stuttered, almost sure you heard the words correctly but not wanting to get your hopes up.

“I said: I want a baby. I’m getting old, Y/N, I have spent my entire life just working and working and I always thought, ‘oh, I’ll have one eventually’. I can’t keep waiting, I-..I need one and I need to have one as soon as possible.” She glanced up at you and slowly sat up, gulping nervously in fear of how you’d react. When she saw a smile break out on your face, she let out a breath she was holding.

“You have no idea how badly I want a baby with you, Em. But-“ She shook her head and cut you off.

“No, no, my love, there’s no buts! Let’s just have one!”

“But we’re not even married.”

“So? Y/N, I swear to spend the rest of my life devoted to you and only you - well, our baby too. We don’t need a stupid license to be happy, all I need is you and our baby!” You sighed, unable to resist her tempting gaze as you obliged, giving her a small nod to which she quickly pounced on you, laying you down on the bed and making you yelp, only to be cut off by her lips connecting with yours. She was smiling against you, feeling as if her dreams had been achieved. She pulled back when her oxygen was low, cupping your cheeks and staring at you with the utmost gratitude.

“When are you ovulating?”

“Uh, yesterday.”

“Okay, good, we’re still in the perfect timeframe.” Emily muttered as she lowered her boxers and hurriedly pulled off her shirt before doing the same to yours and glancing up at you for permission before your shorts were removed. She trailed kisses down your neck to your chest, licking your nipples ever so softly as she heard a sigh of relief and felt your hand fly to her hair.

“Mm, you’ll look even more perfect - these breasts swollen and heavy, leaking so much..” She chuckled, clearly aroused at the thought. You felt your nipple being playfully tugged by her teeth, and she spent a few more minutes gathering your deepened satisfaction before approaching your cunt. Two fingers were used to gather your slick, creating a lubricant for herself. Her tongue found your clitoris, and her free hand found her cock, stroking her length into further erection. She was powered off of your moans, working to get you off, and she knew she was doing well when she watched your head lull back and heard your whispered repetitions of her name. She watched your fingers tease your nipples, missing the way she was doing so earlier, and she couldn’t help but groan into you.

“Just like that..fuck, I need your cock, Emily, I need you to fill me up.” You pleaded, and she didn’t waste any time in giving your sensitive bud one last kiss before pulling away, and then lining up her penis with your hole. You bit your lip as she slowly entered you, your hand clasping tightly with hers for support. She leaned down to kiss along your neck, sucking along your pulse points to leave generous marks.

“There we go, you’re okay..you’re alright, sweetheart. You let me know when you’re ready for me to move, okay? There’s no rush.” Emily assured you, and you nodded to her words. You were generally a bit tighter than most so she’d have to go easy with you considering her girth, but you would always communicate your needs properly which she loved. And when she got the approval, she slowly began thrusting in and out, causing moans from both of you.

“I’ve thought about you all fucking week, Y/N. I didn’t want to bother you, but I just couldn’t fucking stop…” She whimpered, remembering all the nights she spent in her hotel room with her hand around her throbbing penis, and her lips uttering your name as her orgasm would erupt. She couldn’t entirely blame herself though, she was faced with one of the hardest cases and was desperate for your soothing attention, and her mind only steered her differently when night rolled around.

“You’re never a bother to me- oh, shit! I- I mean it, don’t you ever think you can’t call me.” She nodded, her mouth lifting into a sly grin as she thought of future possibilities. Her hands fell to your thighs as she tried to keep them around her hips, forcing a new angle to be created as she heard a loud, deep moan come from you.

“Right there! D-don’t stop- don’t you dare stop!” You cried out, gripping onto the bed sheets beneath you for dear life, your jaw slacking open as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. She had found it before, yes, but it always made you feel such deep pleasure when your girlfriend's dick repeatedly thrusted against your g-spot.

“Yeah? You close already, huh? You gonna let me fill this tight little cunt up with my cum? You gonna let me make you a Mommy?” She knew the answer to that, of course it was a yes. Of course you wanted nothing more than to be filled with her semen and have her babies, but seeing your desperate nod only turned her on more. The bed shook beneath the two of you, the wall faced brutal abuse from the headboard hitting it repeatedly, and the sounds of your skin clapping together mixed with your sweet juices splashing against her length filled the room. She pressed a hand down on your stomach, watching as the just noticeable imprint returned and disappeared with every thrust she made.

“You see that, pretty girl? You see how deep I am inside you?” You looked down, groaning deeply at the sight.

“Fuck, you’re so big…please, baby, I want to feel you filling my womb up with your cum! I need it- I need your babies…” It was like you ticked a switch inside of her and she grabbed your knees, placing them together and hovering them over your chest as she could feel her balls slapping against your skin with every movement.

“Mhm, I’m gonna cum for you! And I- I need you to do the same for me too, okay? I want to feel it, baby, let me feel you cum around my fucking cock like the dirty girl you are- that’s it! Oh, you’re such a good girl…such a good little girl.” She grunted out, and seconds later she twitched as her semen spilled deep inside of you, filling your womb with every last drop she had. She loved feeling your release envelope her dick, it ensured her that you were just as pleased as she was.

“You think I got you pregnant?” She asked breathlessly, breaking the silence as you scoffed lightheartedly.

“After one go? We’ll need at least a few rounds before we can even consider it.” She smirked at your response, grabbing a hair tie from the bedside table and putting it on as she put your legs back around her waist and positioned herself correctly.

“Then I guess I’m not getting any sleep tonight.”

[millerskitty]

Running If You Call My Name

❥ dbf!joel / f!reader x joel miller

❥ (18+) nsfw

❥ reader insert

❥ medium burn, no outbreak au. some timelines are changed to fit the story.

dividers by @/saradika !

click here for chapter 1

click here for chapter 2

click here for chapter 3

warnings: angst, lots of angst, angry joel, mentions of infidelity

Chapter 4

The call came in the middle of the night. Sarah had texted you “SOS” and “You up?” half a dozen times and you’d only woken up when she’d finally called you.

“Hello? What’s wrong, Sarah?” You asked groggily.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” She sniffled, “I need you to come over tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“Please. It's not a medical emergency, it’s for emotional support.” She sounded desperate.

“Fine, meet me on your lawn in five minutes.” You hung up and threw your feet over the edge of the bed. You realized it was two in the morning. You grabbed a toothbrush and a blanket and walked over in your little shorts, tank top and bunny slippers.

“I’m so sorry to wake you. I swear I wouldn’t if it wasn’t a crisis.” Sarah whined.

“Shh, s’okay, I’m here, love,” you said, wrapping your arm around her and heading into the Miller home.

You hadn’t even registered that you’d practically snuck into Joel’s house until you were sat in Sarah’s room on her twin bed. She turned on the Christmas lights that decorated her bedroom walls so you could properly see.

“So what’s going on?” You asked, rubbing your eyes.

“My girlfriend…” She looked down at her feet. “She cheated on me tonight.”

Your jaw dropped for many reasons, but firstly because you didn’t know that Sarah was dating anyone. “Girlfriend?” You exclaimed.

“Shhh!” She said, nodding her head towards Joel’s bedroom. “Don’t want them to hear us.”

“You mean Joel?” You asked. Them? As in plural?

“Yeah and his, whatever she is.” Sarah said, shrugging.

You didn’t have time to ask, you fought to stay on topic and settled for getting details later despite the pit that formed in your stomach.

“You have a girlfriend and she cheated on you?” you whispered.

“Yes, and she doesn’t know that I know yet.”

“Well how are you sure?”

“Someone showed me proof. She’s spending the night at a guy’s house.” Sarah’s eyes welled up with tears and you grabbed ahold of her hand, caressing it with your thumb.

“Who could possibly know that-”

“The guy’s brother is one of my closest friends and Avery doesn’t know that.” Sarah whispered, her voice cracking, “He sent me a lot of pictures of them cuddling in their living room and then one of them heading to the guy’s bedroom.”

“Oh, honey…” Your own eyes welled up with tears. “She’s fucking horrible for this.”

Sarah’s lip quivered. “Why do I still love her?” She broke into a muffled sob, clinging to your arm.

It was a loaded question. You wondered how it was possible to love someone who’d hurt you so badly. You thought of Joel and his rejection, how he’d made you feel like you weren’t worth the risk despite sharing feelings for each other. You knew that this didn’t quite compare to full on infidelity, but it was all you had.

“Because you have a forgiving nature and a generous heart.” You said, rubbing her back.

“She was my best friend, I don’t know how she could possibly forget about me.”

“Sometimes people do fucked up things,” You pulled her down to be your little spoon.

“It feels like Hell. I don’t know what to do with all this pain.”

“Feel it, think about what you’re going to say to her. See if she confesses, and then make a decision.”

“What would you do?” She sniffed.

“I’m not so merciful. I would humiliate him and then cut him out of my life completely.”

“How?”

“I’d show his mom the proof and show her the son she’d raised was nothing more than a tool.”

Sarah giggled at the idea of showing Avery’s mom what kind of child she’d been raising.

You spent hours talking about the situation until you fell asleep.

~

You woke to the sound of Sarah whispering your name and shaking you. Light flooded the room from the large window and you remembered the night before. You panicked, sitting up in her small bed and checking the time on your phone. It was eight a.m. Pop was at church. You were in Joel Miller’s home. You were starting to devise a plan to escape unseen when Sarah interrupted your thought process.

“Hello? I said she confessed.” Sarah waved a hand in front of your face.

“Oh. Wow. Good morning, did you even sleep?”

“Some, but you stole the blanket so I was cold and I woke up to see a super long message from Avery. She confessed to the whole thing. But my friend said it was because she’d figured out that I was close with him. I guess she’d seen my pictures on their fridge at some point and realized.” Sarah said.

“Fuck. So you think she’s trying to save face? Did she-Did they?”

Sarah’s eyes welled up with tears again, “Yeah.”

“Baby girl, I am so sorry…” You pulled her into your arms and let her cry for a few minutes.

“I’m going to do it.”

“Do what?” You asked, pulling her back to look in her eyes.

“I’m gonna show her mom what kind of girl she raised.” She said, her lip quivering.

“Oh, you don’t have to. I don’t want to be a bad influence.”

“It's going to make me feel better. And then I’ll cut her out of my life.” Sarah wiped her face with a long sleeve.

“I stand by you no matter what, kiddo.” You said, standing up and stretching. “Mind if I use the bathroom?”

“Girl, please. Take your ass to the bathroom.” She half smiled, plopping down onto her back and getting straight to texting up a storm.

You poked your head out of the room, toothbrush in hand and then made your way quietly down the hall and reached for the doorknob to the bathroom before it was yanked out of your reach.

A young redheaded woman stood there in a t-shirt. One of Joel’s t-shirts.

“Who are you?” She asked, her brow raised.

“That’s my daughter,” Joel said, coming around the corner. He stopped cold in his tracks to see you face to face with his “whatever she was".

“I’m actually not, I’m his neighbor. I’m here with his daughter. But I was just leaving.” You said after a very awkward moment of silence.

Your body was on fire with embarrassment, you had no time to register the shock of seeing Joel shirtless, freshly fucked by the woman you’d just met.

You popped your head into Sarah’s bedroom. “Hey, something came up. Gotta go, but text me all the details.”

“Okay, thank you for being here for me!” She called as you ducked out and headed for the front door. You heard the sound of footsteps padding on the wooden floor behind you, sending a chill down your spine as you made it to the door and practically leapt out of it.

He called your name. Once, twice, then on the third time you swung around, anger had finally registered. “What the fuck do you want?” You spat.

“What’re you doing here, let’s start with that?” Joel hissed.

“I was here to emotionally support your kid through something she obviously couldn’t bring to her preoccupied father.” You knew you had no right, but the venom spewed from your mouth anyways. You regretted it immediately.

“What?” Joel shook his head in disbelief. “When did you get here?”

“In the middle of the night, she called me crying. Girl problems. It's fine though, it’s handled.”

“Look, I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Joel said, stepping closer to you.

“I don’t care, Joel. I have no right to feel any type of way about who you put your dick in.” Your voice was getting louder and you knew you should have stopped, but it felt too good to say how you felt to the man in front of you.

“But you do. You do care, don’t you?” Joel asked, towering over you, just a foot of space between you.

“No, I don’t.” Liar.

“Hmm. Funny, I’ve never seen you this upset in all the time I’ve known you. So I call bullshit.”

“I’m not in the mood for your mind games, Joel.” You said, starting to turn away when his hand wrapped around your wrist and he pulled you to face him.

“I’m not the one playing games. Does Chad know you give such a huge fuck about your old man of a neighbor?” He had the nerve to crack a smile.

“Caleb? No. Why would I tell him about the biggest mistake of my life?” You said, instantly regretting it. Joel’s face fell and a little piece of your soul descended to Hell.

“Mistake, huh?”

“Well, what else would you call it? You made a fucking fool of me.” Joel’s hand was still holding onto your wrist when the front door swung open and Sarah came jogging out with your blanket and phone in hand.

“Hey, you forgot your-” She stopped when she saw her father’s hand on you. “You guys okay?”

Joel dropped his hand. “Course, baby, just tell me next time you bring a guest over, will you?”

“Dad, it’s just” She said your name and Joel’s eyes flashed over to yours guiltily.

She looked between you and then decided to remain neutral, handing you your things and slowly retreating back into the house.

“I’m sorry,” Joel said, rubbing the bridge of his hooked nose.

“Don’t even mention it. We can pretend like it never happened, right?” Your words aimed to kill, but they killed a part of you too.

[eunoia-writes]

Knight In shining armour • Felix Catton x Reader

Request - MAKE A FIC WHERE FELIX IS COMFORTING READER AFTER SHE’S HOSPITALIZED CAUSE SHE DRANK THE LACED CHAMPAGNE BUT DIDNT DIE JUST GOT REALLY SICK PLEASE PLEASE!!!🫶🏻

Warnings - 18+ Smut, Oral (M&F receiving, PinV, Oliver being a creep, Drugging

When y/n awoke without Felix next to her it wasn’t out of the ordinary. Felix typically got up before her to go in hai morning

“Morning Darling.” Elspeth said as y/n approached at the table adorned In Felix’s jumper and her usual bed shorts

“Good morning.” She said with a smile while Duncan brought out her usual of scrambled eggs while she made her way to the breakfast bar grabbing her usual multiple spoons of fruit and few slices of toast.

“Felix and Oliver have headed out of the day so I thought you might like to accompany me and Venetia into town to get costumes for the party tomorrow.” Elspeth said taking a sip of her coffee her eyes not leaving y/n as she walked back to the table

“I’d love to.” Y/n said taking a sip of her orange juice “it’s been far too long since the three of us did anything without Felix.” She added while Venetia laughed

“It would be nice to see you without my brother attached to your hip for once.” Y/n blushed slightly, everyone adored how inseparable the couple were especially Elspeth, she loved seeing how smitten her son was, the way he doted on his girlfriend she just adorned how in love he was.

“Don’t listen to her you two are just darling together.” Elspeth said making y/n smile as she finished up her breakfast before rushing off to get ready for the day.

After hours of walking around the streets of London the three girls got back to saltburn. Y/n walked into Felix room to see him sat on the bed as she carried in multiple bags

“Oh Fi I got us the best costumes for tomorrow you’re going to love it honestly.” She began before she realised something was right

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Y/n put the bags down walking over to him as he looked up at her with tears in his eyes “oh my pretty boy, whatever’s the matter.” Felix took a deep breath as he pulled y/n into his lap

“Ollie lied… about everything.” Felix whispered as her hands came to his face wiping his tears away “I mean everything baby, the stuff with his parents… his dad is alive.” The last four words felt like a bullet In her chest.

“Oh.” Was all she said and Felix knew how hurt she was just from that. Y/n had bonded with Ollie over the loss after she lost her dad a few months prior. She didn’t want to believe that someone could be so cruel.

“I’m so sorry pretty girl.” Felix said as tears rolled down her cheeks

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.” She asked her bottom lip quivering it was taking everything in her not to breakdown sobbing

“I brought him into our lives… I should have known.” Y/n shook her head before kissing him softly

“It’s not your fault.. how were you to know” She mumbled into the kiss before pulling away. She wiped the few stray tears that feel onto his cheeks away before standing back up and clearing her throat.

“Now back to those costumes.”

—

“God baby, you look so fucking hot.” Felix said as y/n came out of the bathroom in her costume. The same gold wings in his back adorned her. The bra, skirt and matching wings combo leaving very little to the imagination. the pair dressed as a Greek god and Goddess which Felix would argue she is regardless of the costume.

“You’re the sweetest.” Y/n leaned up to kiss Felix who’s hands instantly began to roam her body “Fi as much as I would love to stay in your room all night you mother will kiss us if we don’t show after all the effort she’s put into this.”

“Don’t really feel like celebrating.” Felix said his hands on her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck

“I know baby, I’ll make you a deal well go down there and show our faces for a while, have a few drinks and then I’ll finally let you show me round that maze yeah?” She suggested with an innocent smile on her face but the suggestion was far from innocent

“Get moving then pretty girl.” He said wasting no more time making sure to slap her arse as they walked out of his bedroom and down to where the party had already began

“Wow don’t you look hot.” Venetia said as y/n and Felix walked over to her hand in hand the music was already thumping as Elspeth walked over handing the pair a glass of champagne each making sure to tell them how cute there matching costumes are.

“Our dear cousin is out back with something to make this party a little more fun for us.” Venetia said watching the way Felix eyes lit up as he pressed a kiss to his girlfriend’s temple before hurrying off.

The pair had managed to avoid Ollie so far that evening while drinking their way through bottle after bottle of whatever they could get their hands on. Felix had hardly taken his hands off her the whole evening when she suggest a late night stroll, although he knew what she was really suggesting.

The couple made their way outside into the cool summers air, the alcohol in their veins doing more than enough to keep them warm.

“You know the way right baby?” Y/n asked as they neared the entrance of the entirely pitch black maze while Felix had stopped to plant sloppy kisses all over her neck mumbling for her not to worry as she ran her hands through his hair.

Felix took the lead their laughter echoing against the labyrinthine walls, stumbled forward, hand in hand. The scent of blooming flowers lingered in the air as they weaved through the twists and turns, their steps becoming a delightful dance of tipsy synchronicity. Every few steps, he paused, their laughter bubbling over into kisses that tasted of desperation mixed with booze.

“My feet hurt.” Y/n mumbled into the kiss as she kicked off her shoes making her even smaller than her boyfriend who always towered over her.

“Not much longer pretty.” Felix said interlocking there hands once again as they continued into the darkness. The maze, a playground for their intoxicated affection, led them to its heart, where, surrounded by the fragrant maze walls, they shared a final, lingering kiss.

“Wow s’lot bigger than I imagined.” Y/n joked looking up at the statue in the center that towered over the pair of them

“The only thing you should be sayings big is me.” He joked as she rolled her eyes in the moonlight cocking her head to the side as she pulled him closer by the buckle of his belt

“Pretty heard to say that when I’ve got my mouth full.” She teased as she dropped to her knees staring up at him while she fumbled with his belt

“God pretty girl you’re killing me.” And just as he was about to have his way with her a loud snap came from a few yard away

“What was that.” She stopped in place much to his dismay

“S’nothibg baby.” Felix’s hands made there way into her hair as she looked up at him pouting slightly but ultimately brushing it off as she continued undoing his belt and pulling his jeans and underwear down just enough to pull him out of his underwear

Y/n wrapped both of her hands around the bottle of his length her eyes never leaving his as she kitten licked the tip. Felix let out a shaky breath making him tremble in his spot gripping her hair tighter. Her tongue swirled around his tip before she took him into her mouth her head bobbing up and done and she took more for him each time.

“Fuck just like that.” Felix groaned as her throat tightened around him as she gagged slightly briefly coming up for air before wrapping her mouth around him again she moaned around him as he let our a rather loud moan

“Such a good girl.” He groaned which only encouraged her she kept up her exact pace feeling him tense in her throat.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum.” He said mere seconds before he finished in her mouth with a groan watching as she swallowed him and licked up any mess. Flashing an innocent smile just to top it off.

“God what are you doing to me y/n.” Felix waisted no time tucking himself back into his boxers as he scooped her up placing her on the base of the statue wasting no time attacking there lips as he stood between her thighs his lips trailed down to her neck she let out a soft wine as he found her sweet spot

“Up.” He mumbled into her neck telling her lift her ass up so he could pull her underwear down shoving them into his back pocket while he continued sucking marks on her neck.

He left a trail of open mouthed kisses down her chest to right were she needed him the most before pressing a kissed against her clothed heat “please.” she moaned he smirked looking up at her once more as if he was asking permission

“Fi.” She wined once more before he blew hot air over her swollen clit before diving in. his tongue traced her folds before he lapped at her clit. Y/n’s back arched, electricity bolting through her nerves. Her hands flew to tug at his hair as he lapped at her clit feverishly so Desperate to taste her. He caught her off guard slipping a digit into her, groaned into her when your legs locked around his head, securing him in place. Not that he needed it. He’d stay here forever if she’d let him.

“Please Fi .” She moaned his fingers pumped in and out of her while his tongue made work on her clit. her thighs tremble and eyes roll back into her head. One hand grip the Stone she was sat on her knuckles white, while the other tugged at his locks. The pressure in her abdomen built but so does something else, something deeper at the same time. Felix took note pulling away

“you taste just Devine pretty thing, but not so fast I’m not finished with you yet.” He said as she whimpered at the loss of contact.

She watched as he pulled himself out of his boxers leaning down it kiss her again before he lined himself up with her entrance before he sank into her both of them gasping at the feeling. 

“fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned. She was appreciative of his slow thrusts her constant wines were evident of that.

Y/n’s legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer as his hips rocked back and forth

“Faster.” She groaned in his ear as she clenched around him. His free hand moving to wrap around her throat squeezing slightly as his hips moved faster.

Y/n opened her eyes for a few seconds spotting someone in the distance. She let out a gasp pushing Felix off her as she attempted to cover herself

“Ollie what the fuck!” She said as she realised who had been watching them. Felix fumbled to cover himself up before protectively standing in front of y/n.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Ollie.” He said while y/n grabbed into his arm

“We need to talk.” Ollie slurred as he made his was over to the couple. Y/n climbed down off the statue staying hid behind her boyfriend

“You’re a fucking liar Ollie.” Felix said as Ollie got closer and closer

“How could you Ollie, after I confided in you.” Y/n said snatching the bottle of champagne out of his hand chugging most of what was left

“I know I’m so sorry y/n… I really am.” He said but she just shook her head and walked away from the pair cradling the bottle as she wobbled while she listened to Felix and Ollie argue

“You need to leave Ollie.” Felix said his eyes flickering to y/n was was now slightly hunched over

“You’re still my friend? We’ll all still be friends right?” Felix didn’t give him an answer before he rushed over to y/n which Ollie took as his que to leave

“Felix.” She said as she started to go dizzy. Y/n reached out for him while he grabbed onto her

“I don’t feel good.” She whispered before her legs gave way. Alarmed, Felix scooped her up in his arms, concern etching his face.

“Stay with me, baby.” Y/n mumbled something drowsy, her eyes struggling to stay open. Felix, with a sense of urgency, began navigating the maze's twists and turns running as fast as he could carry her

“No baby keep your eyes open.” He said as he held her head up with one hand. As he neared the house he spotted Elspeth seeing a group of her friends off by there cars

“Mum!” He yelled out catching her attention, noticing the distress, she rushed over, her face turning from joyous to concerned.

“I don’t know what happened, no baby keep your eyes open for me.” Felix said once again noticing the way she was struggling to stay conscious “y/n, look at me.” He said as Elspeth rushed them towards the car calling out of Duncan.

Felix sat y/n in the back seat sliding in next to her while his mother told him she’d get the rest of the family before telling Duncan to drive to the hospital as fast as he possibly could while she climbed into the passenger seat.”

“M’tired.” Y/n mumbled incoherently as she fell limp into Felix said

“I know baby, I know but you’ve gotta Stay awake for me.” Felix’s heart was in his throat he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Felix, what happen? Did she take something?” Elspeth asked Felix had never shook his head so quickly

“No mum, she would never. she was fine a few minutes ago.” He said the panic in his voice evident he head tears in his eyes as y/n kept mumbling nonsense to him.

“Love you Fi” He heard her say before she fell unconscious

“Drive fucking faster!” He yelled hitting the back of the seat as he tried to shake her awake but it wasn’t working

“Calm down Felix we’re almost there.” Elspeth said in reality she was also just as panicked. She loved y/n like her own she couldn’t bare the thought of something happening to her.

“I can’t fucking calm down!” He yelled and as soon as they turned into the hospital Felix wasted no time rushing her inside begging for help. Multiple doctors came rushing over taking him from her arms discussing things amongst themselves.

Felix stood frozen in the middle of the room, the weight of fear anchoring him to the spot. The harsh light overhead accentuated the pallor of his face as doctors fired questions about what happened with his collapsed girlfriend. His voice caught in his throat, and his limbs felt like lead, rendering him incapable of articulating the events that led to this moment. The fear consumed him, the uncertainty of y/n’s well-being tightening its grip. Just when the anxiety threatened to suffocate him, the hospital door opens and Elspeth entered, a comforting presence amidst the clinical sterility. Her eyes met Felix's, conveying a silent reassurance that he wasn't alone in this ordeal. In that shared gaze, a glimmer of strength returned to Felix, grounding him in the support of his mother amid the overwhelming uncertainties of the hospital room.

Elspeth took over the questioning answering every question she possibly could as a nurse took Felix into the waiting room where he sank into one of the chairs terrified for y/n’s life. A few minutes later Venetia, his dad and Farleigh came rushing into the room. No one said a word.

Venetia took a seat next to her brother taking his hand in hers trying to offer him some sort of comfort in the horrific moment. The reality of the situation had completely sobered him up the adrenaline of the alcohol wearing off.

“Felix, darling have some water.” Elspeth said handing Felix a plastic cup that she had filled with the water sat off to the side of them. His hands shook as he took a sip of the water finally speaking up for the first time since he’d let the doctors take y/n from his arm.

“I won’t be able to live if something happens to her.” It was almost a whisper but everyone heard it

“She’s going to be okay.” Farleigh not only told Felix but also himself and everyone in the room for that matter all of them having the same sinking feeling.

“But what if it’s not.”

In the hush of the hospital waiting room, Felix ensnared in a web of anxiety, perched on the edge of a hard plastic chair. His knees are caught in a restless rhythm, an involuntary dance fueled by the uncertainty of y/n’s condition. The minutes stretch like elastic as he nervously glances at the clock, each tick amplifying the echo of his worries.

Unable to contain the nervous energy, Felix succumbs to the urge to pace back and forth across the linoleum floor. His steps are uneven, a physical manifestation of the emotional turbulence swirling within. The harsh fluorescent lights cast shadows that play on his strained expression, the weight of concern etched across his face.

Meanwhile, His family huddles nearby, attempting to offer solace in whispered words and gentle touches. Their eyes mirror his apprehension, but they muster comforting smiles and attempts at casual conversation, striving to create a shield against the suffocating atmosphere of the waiting room.

The air is thick with anticipation, each passing second an agonizing reminder of the unknown. Felix, caught between the pull of hope and the gravity of fear, finds solace neither in the uncomfortable chair nor the sterile surroundings. All that matters is the impending news about y/n’s well-being, an answer that lingers just out of reach, teasing the frayed edges of his nerves. What felt like an eternity later a doctor came into the room everyone’s attention on them

“I’m Doctor Robinson I’m y/n’s doctor Today.” The woman started but before she could get another word out Felix croaked

“Is she okay?”

“Y/n is doing better than we could have hoped for her case, you did the right thing getting her here when you did. Her toxicology came back and it looks like she ingested a lethal amount of benzodiazepines which we believe after conversation with Elspeth to be as a result of spiking in something she will have drank at the party this evening.” The doctor explained everyone felt a weight lifted off there shoulders as they said she was doing better

“Can I see her?” Felix asked

“She’s not awake yet, however you are more than welcome to sit at her bedside until she does wake up.” Felix shoot up out of his seat almost instantly the others silently agreeing to let him go alone as he followed the doctor to her room.

Felix heart broke as soon as he walked into the room seeing y/n laying there with multiple IVs stuck in her arm. He chocked back his tears as he made his way to sit next to her taking his hand in hers.

At what felt like only moments later as if she was awoke by his presence she was finally conscious again. Felix kiss the back of her hand as he thanked god for keeping her safe

“Hey pretty.” He whispered softly as a few tears rolled down his cheeks she smiled softly at him squeezing his hand

“Hi.” She croaked out her eyes half open. Her entire body ached as she reached out to wipe his tears away “Don’t cry Fi, I’m okay.”

“You scared me so much baby.” He said as more tears rolled down his cheeks

“god if you had - but I didn’t and I’m okay.” She said knowing where his train of thought was going. She shuffled herself to one side of the bed making room for Felix next to her as she patted the spot which he waisted no time climbing into

“Did they tell you what happen?” She asked as she got comfortable on his chest as Felix petted her head. Felix let out a sigh not sure how to approach the topic.

“The doctors said you had a lot of benzodiazepines in your system.” Felix started and he felt her tense up

“What- I don’t do that kinda thing… I’d never.” She said as tears rolled down her cheeks

“I know baby I know, mum knows that too everyone knows you’re not like that.” He whispered y/n had always made it gleaming obvious she didn’t like the idea of every taking drugs while she never judged those who did she couldn’t bare the thought of losing herself to drugs the way her father did.

“Then how?” She asked knowing exactly how but she needed him to say it

“The doctors think something you drank was spiked.” Felix said and her heart sank. Saltburn was supposed to be a space space where she didn’t have to worry about stuff like that. A place where nothing bad could possible happen.

“You don’t think…” she started and Felix knew exactly what she was hinting at. Ollie. The only thing she had drank that she hadn’t opened the bottle or poured herself was the champagne she snatched from his hands.

“I… I Really fucking hope not.” Felix whispered just as Elspeth and everyone knocked at the door wanting to check in y/n themselves

“Oh darling, I’m so glad You’re okay. You had us all worried sick.” Elspeth said rushing over to y/n’s bedside who gave her a weak smile

“Is there anything we can do or get you?” James said standing next to his wife placing a comforting hand on her shoulder

“I would really just like to go home.” Y/n said and just as Venetia was about yo say she’d go speak to the doctor Felix spoke up

“No, you can’t go home yet.” He began looking down at her “you need to stay here and get better.”

“Fels, I’m okay I just need to rest.” y/n said just as her doctor walked into the room

“Ah y/n, glad to see you’re awake.” She began as she picked up her chart from the end of the bed “I’m sure Felix here told you, we found a lethal amount of benzodiazepines in your system which is what caused you to lose consciousness. If it wasn’t for your lovely family getting you here when they did we’d be looking at a very different outcome.” Y/n squeezed Felix’s hand softly nodding to what the doctor was telling her.

“For now I suggest you go home and rest up take it easy for a few day, which I’m sure everyone in this room will see too that you do and make sure you’re drinking plenty of fluids.” Y/n looked up at Felix while the doctor went to collect the discharge papers

“See baby, I told you I’m okay.” She said as he leaned down to kiss her softly

“I’m so glad you’re okay pretty.”

“Well Im lucky I have you, my knight in shining armour.”