#but also like. imagine your favorite actor knowing your tumblr blog from Before

[novelconcepts]

The fucking choking noise I made when I tuned into a podcast for my run and heard a recent favorite actor go, “I’m still on Tumblr, don’t tell anyone.”

[le-trash-prince]

Em, I came into the whole 'Benz-Garfield are desperate to get paired and/or make KimKenta happen' thing halfway through and I feel like I'm still desperately playing catch-up. Congratulations to them on making Part A happen and good luck with Part B, though! But in the interests of me continuing to play catch-up on this whole fascinating process, do you know if there's a timeline of events or a tiktok folder or *something* out there to help me piece together when all of this properly took off and when Benz in particular decided to go full unhinged with it?

Thanks for your help!

Anon if you weren't watching Pit Babe as it aired, I hope you are prepared for the emotional roller coaster that happens when you are waiting every week to see if Kim and Kenta even get screentime together. I felt like I was watching the last several episodes of Pit Babe on a fever high.

I am actually working on a timeline, but it’s not fully cohesive nor complete yet, since there’s simply so much to sift through on multiple social media platforms, and no platform has a perfect search function. It also doesn’t yet include social media posts where they were simply just… flirting with each other, but all the social media posts on the blog should at least be dated.

If you want to go through things more quickly, the archive page has a tag filter (one of my favorite tumblr features), and you can swap in any tag you like in the url, since the dropdown only lists featured tags.

It’s also hard to pinpoint a single moment when Benz decided to go unhinged with it, since he’s been pushing it from pretty early on. There also aren’t any dedicated translators in BenzGarfield fandom who are fluent in both Thai and English, so we either get machine translations or translations that are few and far between. There's also a lot of old posts that have been deleted, or accounts that have gone private, so even just the act of gathering everything is an effort, let alone organizing it into a big picture.

Here's what I can give as a highlight timeline though.

They met in late 2022 (Love Fest Thailand in November or December I think, I couldn't find pics, but I did just watch an old interview last night where they talk more in depth on their first impressions, which I plan on recording and uploading, but Garfield said something that can be paraphrased to the extent of "Do people this friendly and charming exist in real life?")

Benz was mingling with Change2561 actors, but they officially became coworkers in Feb 2023 when they were both cast in Pit Babe

Boys Journey started filming very shortly after—I don’t have a sharp timeline but the range is sometime from Feb to May. Benz was already going at it in Boys Journey (“BenzGarfield forever” - ep 10), when they ostensibly didn’t know their roles or if they’d be put in an actual ship (they were somewhat rotated around with ppl until later in Boys Journey, when I imagine the staff had chemistry based partnerships in mind)

In March, Garfield said he would choose Benz to flirt with out of all the cast.

By August, Benz was asking Garfield to take his last name 🤷‍♂️ (but Garfield keeps trying to take Benz's first name instead)

There was a lot going on while Pit Babe was filming (Sept-Nov). They were excited about filming the two whole scenes they had together, they tweeted about it the night before, they were improvising what communication between Kenta and Kim might be like, Benz was visiting set even when he didn't have any scenes (albeit likely for the free food, but keeping Garfield company while Charlie fakes his death is a nice bonus)

I haven’t been able to find it again (yet)(thank you YT’s horrible search function) but there was a livestream last year where Benz talked about Kenta calling Kim and inviting him to Thailand, which… never happened, so I can only assume they were at the point of making things up (which actors sometimes do when they need a better grip on a character), and probably explains the really loaded look they gave each other in the elevator, bc to them there had been more interactions between their characters.

The first event they did together (outside of full-cast stuff) was the RealMe sponsorship in September 2023, but it was presented as Garfield & Benz (didn’t stop Benz from once again asking Garfield to take his name). The first time (that I’m aware of) that they had an event with their ship name was the GarfieldBenz x Central Rayong event in December 2023. Filming was completed in November, so they obviously had known for a while that KimKenta weren’t a couple, but that wasn’t going to stop them from bickering over which of their characters would like the other first

In February, they were posting really shippy stuff right before the Pit Babe finale, which felt like queerbaiting at the time, but we didn’t know that Long Beans was being planned (they would begin the physio workshop a month later), so I think this was either a “we’re excited we get to play a ship but can’t say anything yet” or a “staff hasn’t made up their minds on casting us so let’s just show some potential.”

Also at the finale in February, Garfield said he wanted to be Kim's faen.

By the time Long Beans was announced in March and they were officially announced as BenzGarfield, there was no holding back, especially on the KimKenta front. Benz made a fuss during Long Beans presscon about them not getting any screentime together, and during the Changing event in April they talked about going to the writers and begging for KimKenta/KentaKim.

Anytime they're asked about S2, they're vague about it, and I imagine they will be until we see something onscreen (they have to keep me desperate and foaming at the mouth), but they have expressed that they want to continue working as screen partners for a long time. If KimKenta happens I don't think anyone will be happier than those two.

I hope this helps, anon! Trying to capture and organize all of their moments is a daily task, and it sometimes feels like I am Sisyphus.

[duckprintspress]

Fandom Lexicon: R

We’re in the home stretch on updates to our main fandom lexicon! Today, check out the entries starting with “R”!

View the entire Fandom Lexicon posted to date.

See something we missed? Notice a mistake? Let us know!

Lexicon Entries Starting with R: (read more)

RACK: Abbreviation for “risk-aware consensual kink.” A term used by members of the BDSM community who engage in more dangerous power-exchange activities to emphasize the importance of being educated about the risks associated with that activity before engaging in it. See also: PRICK. Read more about RACK.

Ravatar: On Ravelry chat boards, a person’s avatar is often called their “ravatar” as a joke on the name of the platform. See avatar.

RB: Abbreviation for “reverse bang” or “reblog.”

Re: [Thing]: Shortened way of saying “In reply to [Thing]/As regards [Thing].” On social media, Re: precedes discussion of [thing], usually as a means of circling back to [thing] after talking about something else or to make it clear that a point being made is directly related to a specific previous thing that has been mentioned.

Reader Insert: Stories written so the reader might imagine themselves as the protagonist. Often use Y/N or YN (both short for “your name”) to refer to the protagonist. Reader inserts are tagged as “Reader” on AO3, for example: Reader/(Character). May also be referred to as “x reader” fics. Read more about read inserts.

Reblog: Tumblr lingo that refers to sharing a post written by another blog using the “reblog” function, which ensures the content remains connected to the original blog. Not to be confused with a repost.

Rec List: Shortened form of “recommendation list.” Like a mixtape of the creator’s favorites in a given category. Could be fanfic, movies, books, TV shows, blogs to follow, etc. There is no upper or lower limit on how many things can be in a reclist. Can be very specific (e.g. only works featuring a precise trope of a specific ship in a specific fandom) or very broad (e.g. “my favorites”).

Redacted: A term that means the previous text has been removed for Reasons (specified or unspecified). Within fandom, this is typically used facetiously to refer to information that fans are not supposed to know (or not supposed to share), assumptions that may or may not be correct, unpopular or controversial opinions, or simply for the laughs. Read more about redaction.

Reddit: A forum-esque social media platform. Visit reddit.

Remix: Mixing up the elements of a source material. Fandom usage can refer to art, writing, video edits, music, or pretty much any other media imaginable.

Repost: Copying an original post (most often artwork – including photographs – or animated gifs) and posting it to one’s own blog, rather than using the reblog function. When done without permission, this is a form of content theft. When done with permission and credit, it’s fine. Don’t take other people’s hard work without asking! Not to be confused with a reblog, retweet, or other platform-based forms of post-sharing.

Reverse Bang: A collaborative creation event in which artists create an art piece and write a small amount about it to offer guidance, then writers sign up to write a story for that piece, usually with a minimum length of at least 5,000 words. See also: big bang, creation challenge.

RN: Abbreviation for “right now.”

RPF: Abbreviation for “real person fic.” Fanworks about people who actually currently are alive or have been alive in the past, rather than about fictional/made-up characters. A lot of RPF involves shipping real people together. Sports fandoms and bandoms are big, popular examples of RPF communities, and it’s also common for lead actors who play popular fictional ship characters to get shipped together (for example, the actors Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins from Supernatural who play Dean Winchester and Castiel, the very popular ship Destiel, are also often shipped together as the popular RPF ship Cockles). Read more about RPF.

RPG: Abbreviation for “roleplaying game.” A game in which individuals create characters or play a game-assigned character and play the role of that character throughout. RPGs can be played via any venue/channel/platform that allows individuals to interact with each other or with a gaming system. See also: JRPG, MMORPG, TTRPG (pending).

RPS: Abbreviation for “real person shipping.” See RPF.

RT: Abbreviation for “retweet” on Twitter or “retoot” on Mastodon.

Rubberduck Debugging: Explaining a problem to an unresponsive target in order to identify and fix the origin of that problem. Originates from The Pragmatic Programmer. Read more about rubberducking.

The Rules of the Internet: The Rules of the Internet is a loose, unofficial list originally spawned from 4chan. The list is memetic and subject to change, and a few specific rules have been widely adopted in fandom. Read more about the Rules of the Internet. Rules most often mentioned in fandom spaces:

Rule 34: If it (whatever “it” is) exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

Rule 35: If there is no porn of it, porn will be made of it.

Rule 36: No matter how fucked up “it” is, there is always worse than what you just saw.

Rule 63: For every male character, there is a female version of that character, and for every female character, there is a male version of that character, and there will always be porn about both versions of that character. This is by far the most widely spread Rule in most fandom spaces, and “rule 63” is a common tag used on content of this type. See also: genderbend, genderswap.

Rule 64: There is lore for everything that exists.

Rule 65: If there isn’t lore yet, there will be imminently.

Rule 66: The longer a piece of lore is, the weirder it will get.

[destinyc1020]

I’m curious with your take on “Stans”. I joined the tomdaya fandom last January and I think the most shocking behavior and discovery I found were Stans. I’m in my late 20s and never really followed a celeb or couple before, so I never really crossed them on social. I found it almost strange and alarming at some of their behavior- or I just couldn’t relate to people creating fan accounts? Idk. I stopped following all fan accounts of TZ on Twitter, TikTok, and IG because of how uncomfortable they made me and only stick with tumblr as the community is very different and (IMO) healthier…

I’ve been following you since I joined tumblr and like that you also have interests outside of TZ and are exposed to different fans from different celebs. Do you have any opinions on the different variety of Stans (Harry Styles/Chris Evans level to TZ level)? Opinions on these “Stan wars”? Have you seen a difference in behavior from pre pandemic to post? Their overall behavior and psychology just fascinates and alarms me at the same time.

Ooo....I LOVE new/different types of questions and asks!

Anon, are you SURE you want my opinion on this?😅 Cuz I’m about to write you an essay, and it’s gonna be

REAL TALK lol.

You asked for it!

RE: Stans and Stan Behavior...

Whew, this is a tough question to answer tbh. Mainly because I have mixed feelings about this.

On one hand, I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with being a stan of your favorite celebrity(ies), or anything wrong with having a blog or a fan account dedicated to your fave(s). I don’t see anything wrong with that at all?

I think the problem however comes when some stans go a little TOO far, get way too intrusive, engage in stan wars (when those actors/celebrities don’t even hate each other lol), or just become toxic overall in general in the fandom.

I always feel like there should be a clear balance when stanning celebrities. Like, it’s okay to be a massive fan, but also know your place, and realize that these “celebrities” are really just human beings just like the rest of us at the end of the day. They just have higher pay checks lol, and have to live life in the public eye. But at the end of the day, they put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us.

Another thing that I think gets fans in trouble is putting their fave on a pedestal. Yea, it’s nice to think highly of your fave, but imo NOBODY should be put on a pedestal. Imo, nobody is perfect (number one), and number two, think about how hard it would be for you to live up to some measure of perfection that others have put upon you?

I think it’s best to wish the best for your faves, but at the same time, don’t expect PERFECTION.

Otherwise, you might be sorely disappointed one day lol. 🥴 Recognize that people are human, they make mistakes (just like the rest of us), sometimes we have “off” days, sometimes stress/anxiety can cause us to react to things in ways that aren’t the most “ideal”. It happens! Just like we afford ourselves some grace, we should also afford others (including celebrities imo) some grace as well. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I think we should leave room for growth and mistake-making. So many people are so ready to “cancel” someone out here these days if they don’t live up to some measure of perfection or ideal in their mind that they had smh lol. That is so exhausting... I can’t even imagine how it must feel for people living under a microscope in the public eye.

Tom & Zendaya, for example, get so much pressure from fans (imo) to behave a certain way, be a certain way, VACATION a certain way, DATE each other a certain way, have a career a certain way, be friends with co-stars a certain way, etc.

I’m like, can’t y’all just let them BE?? Geez! #REALTALK Let people just be, my gosh. 🙄

RE: Harry Styles, Chris Evans, TZ

Wow....Those are all 3 (or 4?) different fandoms girl... Each have their own pros and cons lol.

With Harry, oh boy.... I just feel like SOME in the fandom can be a bit..... unhinged. I’m sure it’s due to him being in 1D back in the day. Sometimes idk what’s worse...the fandoms of music artists or actors lol. Don’t even get me started on the Larries lol.

With Chris Evans and his fandom... I feel like a lot have a certain image of him that they want to uphold, but if he ever does something contrary to that, they turn on him like a pack of wolves lol. I swear...that tweet I posted on here when it was revealed that he was in fact dating Alba looked like something out of a stalker’s notebook lol. Some fans (of ALL fandoms imo) seriously need to really remember to separate themselves from the celebrity they love/stan over.

You have to realize that this person isn’t in your life, they don’t know you, they aren’t your “friends”, they don’t care what you think about their relationship lol, and they’re gonna keep doing whatever the hayell they want, whether you like it or NOT! 😤

I’ve already touched a bit on the TZ/Tomdaya fandom on my blog several times before, but I’ll also add that I feel like this fandom can be a bit more complicated because we have the stans of Zendaya only, the stans of Tom only, the stans of BOTH Tom and Zendaya equally, and then the stans of just them and their relationship lol. It’s almost like some weird Venn diagram of various fandoms that sometimes operate separately, and then sometimes mix in together. It can be crazy lol. 🤣

The ONE thing I would love to see from 2023 in the TZ fandom (for both together and separately) is just fans allowing them to both GROW, and evolve as adults, and to NOT expect perfection from them, or to infantilize them. I feel like SOME (not all) fans are unnecessarily harsh on TZ. That is so much pressure.

I also feel like some infantilize Tom so much, and he’s a grown man? Then, there are the fans who feel like Zendaya can do no wrong, and will cut you with a knife if you ever say anything that has ANY hint of negativity or just room for improvement lol. I can understand it...most of us have followed her from her young Disney days...so I get it lol. She’s like our sister in our heads, and a LOT of woc get a lot of unfair hate unnecessarily, so we want to protect her from all of that. But we have to also be HONEST about our faves too. There’s nothing wrong with saying that you thought a project sucked lol... 😂

But you can STILL LOVE your fave and continue to stan them regardless. I haven’t liked EVERY single project the actors I like have put out, but it’s not a big deal! Art is subjective anyway. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Idk where fans got this "it's gotta be either/or" or, "you're either on board with everything or you're against us", limited type of black and white thinking from, but it's not healthy imo. 🥴

I think one of the most toxic things in some fandoms is not allowing people to have a voice, a difference of opinion, and also thinking that if you like your fave, you can’t possibly like any OTHER actors or interests, like we’re in some kind of CULT lol. 😂

Honestly? Imo it’s OKAY to like a variety of actors. Variety is great! I think expanding your interests also helps to prevent silly stupid “Stan Wars” btwn fandoms. To me, fan wars are so dumb, especially when there isn’t any real beef btwn the two individuals in the first place. 🥴

I’ll admit that I was “Team Jacob” in the Twilight fandom back in the day lol, but I didn’t HATE “Team Edward” or Robert Pattinson. I just preferred Jacob (Taylor) more? These days, I feel like fans feel like you HAVE to “pick a side”, and to me that’s not even fair...or even healthy tbh.

Imo, VARIETY is the spice of life! 😁👏🏾

Sorry for this long dissertation and rant lol. I’m going to just stop rambling here. If you’ve even made it down this far Anon lol, I hope I answered your question. I’m very interested in the psychology of this as well.

[idy-ll-ique]

Paparazzi.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: TOO META, m*sturbation, mentions of s*x

Requested: nope

Summary: I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me... Y/N Y/L/N writes Marvel fanfictions. One day, Sebastian stumbles upon her account and, unable to help himself, reads all the stuff she has written about him. He didn't mean to fall so hard for her but he does. How can he not? She has shown him parts of himself that he never even knew existed.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay so a few weeks ago I read a similar (but dark) fanfic and I really wanted to write a softer version of it... Enjoy!

---

Same old, boring routine.

Y/N hit post and slumped against the headrest of her bed, sighing. She waited; a minute, then two passed and she noticed that someone had liked her post. She smiled to herself as she kept her phone away. Though boring, she wouldn't trade her life for the world. Y/N… well, she was a university student first and foremost but she was also a writer.

Being a big fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she had started writing fanfictions a few years ago. She posted them on Tumblr, where her blog, though not very well-known, stood out enough for her posts to get around 800-1000 likes per post. She loved it; she loved writing, she loved posting her stories and especially, she loved the feedback.

Sometimes people were rude, but most times, the reviews she got were fantastic. She read each and every one of them, smiling goofily as people freaked out over her fanfictions. It warmed her heart. A smile automatically blooming on her face, Y/N lay down on the bed and decided to go to sleep, it being almost 3 am.

Unbeknownst to her, someone else was up at the same time, tossing and turning in his bed, restless.

Sebastian sighed as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. He drank some water and lay down again, closing his eyes but it was like sleep was mad at him. Refused to be anywhere near him. He groaned to himself and picked up his phone from the nightstand, deciding to go through Instagram, hoping he'd finally fall asleep to the glare of the screen.

As he logged into his account, he skipped the activity page and went straight to the explore page. Bored, he continued scrolling until his eyes landed on a specific photo. And the breath escaped his lungs when he clicked on it; the woman in the picture was absolutely gorgeous. He just couldn't resist going to her page, smiling widely when he read her bio.

It gave him her basic information; her name, her age, the university she attended. But what caught his eye was the link below the bio. My Marvel Fanfictions Master List. Marvel fanfictions? She was a writer? Smirking, he clicked on the link and it took him to Tumblr. Of course, he'd heard of the site, but didn't have an account on there. At 3 am, his mind sure wasn't working right.

A post popped up on the screen, the same master list she had mentioned earlier. And his eyes bulged out of their sockets; damn, those are a lot of fanfictions. He went through the whole thing, smirking again when he noticed that she had written the most fanfictions about him. Not Bucky Barnes, no, Sebastian Stan.

He clicked on the first one. The date of posting was way back, in 2019. He started reading; nothing about it felt weird to him; he was intrigued, if anything. And as he continued reading, he couldn't help but imagine her being in the stead of the female protagonist. Her, the writer. The woman whose picture had made him end up reading in the first place.

When he finished the story, his heart thudded wildly in his chest. Wow, she really has a way with words. And he had also noticed how in the author's note, she used a lot of slang but reading the story had made him realize that she had an amazing, extensive vocabulary. He went back to the master list and clicked on the latest post under his name.

Posted: 15 minutes ago.

His breath hitched in his throat when he read the warnings: there was going to be sexual intercourse in this one. For one moment, he hesitated; did he really want to read this? "Oh fuck it," he huffed and scrolled, starting to read. The more he read, the more his shaft twitched in his pants. He wasn't really like that during… but oh damn, he wasn't complaining.

"Oh, Seb…"

His hand slid down and he rubbed himself through his boxers, unable to take his eyes off the text in front of him. His strokes got harder and faster as the sex got steamier. "Ungh, I'm gonna cum—" And he suddenly came in his boxers, groaning. Slumping down on the bed, he quickly finished reading the rest of it, going back to the master list.

He took a screenshot with the account's name in it and then went back to her Instagram account to take another screenshot. Keeping his phone away, he slipped out of his boxers, cleaned himself and pulled the covers on top of him, finally feeling tired enough to fall asleep.

---

Y/N was walking across the campus of her university, going to the cafeteria when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Taking it out, she opened Tumblr to read the message someone had sent her just then.

his-username: Hi there! I was binging your account last night, you write really well

your-username: Omg thank you!!!! I really appreciate it, I love getting feedback! 🥺❤

his-username: You're welcome! Especially your latest post, that was really good ;)

your-username: hehe 😈 glad you liked it!

Smiling widely, she kept her phone away and continued walking, not knowing that the person who had texted her was the same man she had written about. Sebastian smiled to himself when he read her text. After getting up in the morning, the first thing he had done was install Tumblr on his phone. Then he made an account for himself.

Figuring out the app was easy; he found out that there was an option to keep your liked posts and the accounts you followed hidden, and selected it immediately. No one needed to know what he did on the app. Then he went back to her account, pressed the follow button and started binge-reading her fanfictions again. Last night had he read only two, and that had left him wanting more.

Funny how much things can change in a night. He liked and reblogged all her posts without a second thought; he even read all her Bucky Barnes posts. She understood his character so well, put him on what he thought was an undeserved pedestal while writing about him. Some of the stories were AUs, which he found out stood for Alternate Universes. Mostly mobster or mafia stuff.

He had the day off, and he spent the entire time cooped up in his apartment, on his bed, reading. The more he read, the more he started fawning over her, over the version of him that she put out to the world. Dominating, suave and just perfect. He loved it. At the end of the day, he decided to text her again, hoping she wouldn't think he was weird or find out the truth.

his-username: do you wanna be friends, maybe? I'm new to the app, don't really have any friends here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That was a lie, he knew Mark Ruffalo had an active Tumblr account. But it's not like he could tell him.

your-username: Yes sure!!!! I was also thinking of making some friends on this app lol

his-username: You don't have any on here? But you've been here for years, haven't you?

your-username: haha yeah, but I don't really reach out to people much. Sometimes people leave their feedbacks on my posts, text me but that's that

his-username: Ohhh

his-username: well, let's start with names. Mine's Sebastian

your-username: Really?????? omg that's so cool lmaooooooo (didn't think you were a boy but 😳👀)

his-username: Not a boy, I'm a man 😤😂

your-username: 🤣 im y/n, btw

his-username: Y/N, that's a nice name

your-username: thank you!!!! So, what do you do?

his-username: nothing really that interesting, I'm in theatre

your-username: theatre is nice! I'm studying at [university] in New York lmao

his-username: Wait you're in New York? So am I!

your-username: ASDFHKSHKGF that's awesome!!! also I noticed that you've been going through my account the whole day 😏 notifications upon notifications keeping my phone busy

his-username: Oopsie?

your-username: 😂😂 I really don't mind, it was great! Despite the amount of likes on my posts, I only have a few loyal followers lmao gaining one more felt nice

your-username: You a big fan of Sebastian Stan? Cuz I noticed that you were only reading his and Bucky's fics 👀

Sebastian's face heated up.

his-username: kinda yeah 🤷🏻‍♂️😁

your-username: Cool cool cool, I'm a big fan of his too!!!! also got a crush on him but whatever 😳

Sebastian smirked at his phone. A crush on him, huh? That… was acceptable. He suddenly felt his cocky side coming out; the one she described in nearly all her fanfictions.

his-username: wouldn't blame ya, I mean, look at him. You have also written the most fics about him and Bucky

your-username: right????? damn that man has raised my standards. Anyway, I gtg now, I have to finish a paper before midnight. ttyl!

his-username: Bye! 👋🏻

He kept his phone away and took in a deep breath. This was the most fun he had had in years, and he was not letting her go so easy. He realized he was quickly falling for her; rather unhealthy, but he couldn't help it. Look at her. She looks like a goddamn angel, writes like one, makes him feel like one, do you really expect him not to fall for her? That's insane.

---

Months passed by like a breeze. Y/N and Sebastian had become very good friends, and he knew his way around words just enough to keep her from finding out his identity while not lying to her. Y/N also appreciated his friendship, because he was the one to whom she could rant about her most favorite man in the world— Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes, she thought about how weird of a coincidence it was that her new friend and the actor shared the same names, but then she used to brush it off; that was a common name, right? They talked for hours on end; Sebastian (her friend, not the actor) was extremely witty, smart and fun to talk to, she had to admit. Sebastian felt the same way.

His feelings had worsened. Y/N entirely owned his heart now. Somedays, he'd just go on Instagram, go to her account— her username memorized by him— and stare at her photos until he grew tired; he'd never get tired of looking at her beautiful face but his stiff body afterwards begged to differ. She was just so Elysian. He longed for the moment when he could meet her in real life.

His personality had also changed majorly, and people had caught on. Especially his Marvel co-stars, who knew him to be introverted, shy and, in Anthony Mackie's words, "boring". They were surprised at his sudden change in attitude; he knew his worth and Y/N had helped tremendously in finding it. Now, all those adjectives that she used in her fanfictions fit him perfectly.

Sebastian was never tempted to read fanfictions about himself from authors other than Y/N. No, he only loved her work. He was sure no one else could write as beautifully as she did, he was her #1 fan. Y/N even sent him funny Marvel memes she found on the app and he used to enjoy them heartily; God, the others have no idea what they're missing out on. Our fans are awesome.

Everything was going well.

Until one day.

Sebastian was getting bored at home, so he decided to go to the nearby library to clear his mind. He had read not one book in the past few months, hung up on Y/N's fanfictions. At this point, he was obsessed with her and he knew it. It was nothing dark, per se, it was— it was similar to how Y/N was attracted to Sebastian. How she was a fan of his work.

Just the same. He was a fan of her work in the same way. Just how she was attracted to him, he was attracted to her. Walking into the library that he visited often, he gave the librarian a smile and ventured further into the dark place. He checked his watch; the library closed at 12 am, it was currently 9:30 pm.

Not many people were around, heck, nobody was around. He thought himself to be all alone until he heard it. A sigh, coming from a few aisles away. He walked in that direction and peeked around the corner, freezing when he saw the other person. Y/N? Her books were strewn all across the table as she sat alone at the booth, rubbing her temples.

"You okay?"

She looked up and her breath caught in her throat. I'm dreaming. This is not real. Now I know for a fact that Sebastian Stan is not standing in front of me, asking me if I'm— "Hello?" He snapped his fingers in front of her face, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I, uh— I'm— h-hi," she stammered and he almost chuckled. "Hi." She gulped visibly and blinked at the table, not meeting his eyes.

"Can I have a seat?" He wants to sit with me?! "Y-Yes, sure, sir," she blurted out and he easily slid into the booth next to her. "Hey, please, call me Sebastian. What's your name?" He gave her a friendly smile, even though all he wanted to do was push her back into the booth and kiss her wildly. His shaft twitched just by thinking about it; Y/N was a thousand times more beautiful in person.

"I'm Y/N, it's very nice to meet you, I'm… I'm a fan," she admitted, playing with the ring she wore on her left thumb. I'm your fan too, sweetheart, the biggest one. "Y/N, nice name. You come here often? I haven't really seen you around." She shook her head. "Oh no no, I moved to this part of the city just a week ago, this is my first time here. The library is cozy," she shrugged, easing out of her tense position.

Sebastian nodded. "Yes, I know, this place is awesome. Got all my favorite books here," he chuckled and she smiled at him. "What's all this?" A groan left her lips. "Ugh, stupid university work. I have to write a book report but I don't even know what to write about." He smiled gently. "Well, I have a few favorite books, would you like some suggestions?"

"Oh, please! Tell me!"

He started listing some of his favorite works and Y/N noted the names down until he said the last name. At that, she froze. That's the name of my latest— She looked up but he had a smile on his face. "Oh, and the last one is by my favorite author." He took a pause. "Y/N Y/L/N." She froze completely, staring at the man with her jaw dropped.

Sebastian grinned. "We finally meet, Y/N, I've been waiting for months." Her mouth opened and closed several times as she recalled every interaction she had had with her online best friend— scratch that— her celebrity crush. All the times she had confessed her love for Sebastian Stan, all the dirty and inappropriate memes that she'd sent him…

Embarrassment flooded her entire body as she exhaled shakily. "It was you," she croaked out, "On Tumblr, the account— I'm so sorry—" Sebastian frowned in confusion when she blinked back sudden tears, a few still rolling down her cheeks as shame replaced embarrassment. "Y/N, please don't cry…" She looked up at him, his figure blurry due to her tears.

"You've read everything, haven't you? I just— I'm sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable—" He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. Y/N couldn't hug back, though she appreciated the hug especially since it came from him. "You don't know how much you mean to me, doll," he mumbled into her shoulder, using the nickname she often used in the stories she wrote about him. He grew accustomed to it easily.

"Huh?"

He pulled away to wipe her tears. "It was an accident," he admitted, "But I stumbled onto your Instagram account from my explore page. Then I clicked on your account, saw that you wrote Marvel fanfictions and I just couldn't resist the urge to read what you had written. Blame it on 3 am me, to be honest. You're a great writer, and I was immediately drawn to your works. They're awesome.

"They've helped me so much in the past few months. You see this changed attitude that everyone's been talking about lately? All because of you, sweetheart. I'm sorry for keeping my identity secret, but after reading your works, I knew I had to get closer to you. I made the Tumblr account just for you, just so I could talk to you. I'm sorry for lying, but thank you."

Y/N dumbfoundedly stared at him for a few moments, her heart beat getting steady with each thump. Here was a man she admired, loved more than anyone else in the world, telling her that he harbored the same feelings for her. How crazy was that?! Not trusting her words, she simply pulled him into another hug. Sebastian wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her flush against him.

"Can I kiss you, doll?"

She slowly pulled away from him and nodded, shyly biting her lip. Grinning at the endearing gesture, Sebastian cupped her face and leaned in, gently pressing his lips to hers. The kiss grew hungry in a matter of seconds, and Y/N responded just as eagerly. His hands slid down to her waist and tugged on it, pulling her on his lap. She straddled his thighs as they continued kissing.

"Fuck," he groaned when they finally pulled away from each other, out of breath and panting. "You see what you do to me, doll?" Sebastian spoke huskily as he took her hand, placing it right on top of the tent that was forming in his pants. "Oh," Y/N whimpered when she felt him, the sound going straight to his shaft. "How about I take you home and we recreate some of the scenes from your stories, hm?"

"O-Okay."

"Good girl."

---

A/N: What a meta experience 🤡 Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[buckys-other-punk]

Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick. 

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend. 

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’ 

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony. 

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy 

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant. 

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend. 

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too 

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over. 

sebstan_fan: alright have fun 

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself. 

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn��t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.” 

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside. 

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you. 

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing. 

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath. 

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?” 

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince​ @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan​ @princess76179​ @anbrax5553​ @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes​ @miraclesoflove​ @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie​ @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom​ @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^

[thedukeofhastingssexyrobe]

I stumbled across your tumblr and I love your posts! I relate to them so much. So I came here to get something off my mind. I can’t warm up to Anthony Bridgerton at all. I knew season 2 was going to be based around him but since Simon isn’t going to be in season 2 anymore I’ve become one of those people that just doesn’t see the point in watching it. Anthony’s character is kind of a douche and really cold. Before I read that the second season was going to be based around him I was actually hoping we would see less of him in season 2 lol. I’m the type of person that likes an attractive main male character with a lot of charisma in a tv show and the Duke fit that perfectly for Bridgerton. Anthony doesn’t even compare at all. Sorry this is just my opinion and I needed to rant lol. Forgive me

Hey nonnie!!!

There is nothing to  forgive or to be sorry about nonnie!!Your opinion is relevant since we are talking about season 2. And as one of the anons said yesterday this blog is now a rant central so welcome to the rant central lol. l love anthony and l know l’m going to love his and kate’s dynamic because the enemies to lovers trope is one of my favorite tropes. But l agree with you, there is anthony and then there is the DUKE.  I cannot see anybody in Hollywood that could play the Duke of Hastings perfectly like Regé did. He played this character to excellence and gave the character depth and a lot more personality. Did l mention the fact that he also gave the duke his signature move? the eyebrows game !!!

 From his mannerisms to the way he talked, walked, his smile....Regé was the perfect Duke of Hastings.  I can't imagine anyone else in that iconic spoon licking scene or the one where he explains to daphne what happens at night but l can totally imagine other actors playing anthony’s role.

[thehollowprince]

1.Hey just want to let you know that I am the first anon who asked about Jensen Ackles and Tyler Posey - I don't know which teen wolf anon you assumed I was, but that was the first time I send you an ask. I am a TP fan and check your blog for TP stuff and was surprised to see you reblogging jokes about Ackles being homophobic - since I see him facing the same issues that Posey did - a toxic fandom that bullies actors just because they don't subscribe to wanting two hot white men to get together.

2. Same anon. I don't think we should be throwing around words like homophobia lightly or based on rumors about how Ackles made a showrunner change the character based on his preferences etc. Ackles maybe homophobic - we don't know for sure. All I know is that from my experience, the Destiel fandom is as toxic as the Sterek fandom. Sure, Ackles shares part of the blame as he makes hundreds of thousands of dollars off these fans at the various cons - ( contd. in part 3)

3. But that does not mean that actors or their family should be subject to cyber bullying and online hate or that the showrunners should pander to this toxic fanbase. Scott would have been and was sidelined to pander to and queerbait Sterek fans and he was called homophobic when he pointed out how nonsensical the ship was. Destiel is the same and I don't mind Ackles not giving two shits about acting out a badly written scene pushed in to appease a toxic fanbase. Just my two cents.

Okay, first off, I want to say the only anon I've ever gotten that used Tyler Posey and "double-standards" in the same sentence has been the Asshole Anon I tagged. And given the fact that this anon was in my inbox within an hour of posting that ask, it stands to reason that my paranoia is well founded. This would not be the first time they've tried to trick anyone into a "Gotcha!" moment, and I was the next on the rotation of people they harass.

That being said and out of the way, let's get into this.

Starting off, you're right. Claims of homophobia shouldn't be a joke. Homophobia is a very real thing that affects many people around the world. And given the shipping fandoms that habe arisen in the past decade, along with thr use of social media by celebrities, it allows these fans to harass and belittle them from the comfort of their homes, no matter where said celebrity is. I would never make jokes regarding how fans treat the loved ones of their favorite celebrities, because I find it abhorrent. We saw something similar to his happen with the Star Wars fandom, particularly the R*ylos, when they doxxed and harassed Adam Driver's wife in the hopes that he and Daisy Ridley would get together, thus fulfilling the fantasy they have about their ship.

I don't keep up with the actors of Supernatural because I don't watch it anymore, but I imagine that's the case with Jensen's wife. Fans harassing her because she married him and they've based their entire personality and fandom experience around a ship between two fictional characters and the actor's personal life interferes with that fantasy. The fans that are harassing Jensen and his family aren't doing it out of any sense of morality in their efforts to fight homophobia, but because they want to see Dean and Cas together, and can't (or won't) accept that they're fictional characters played by two actors that have their own private lives.

Something similar happened with the Sherlock fandom, when they decided to cancel Martin Freeman and his wife because they asked fans to stop sending them NSFW fanart or J*hnl*ck, especially when they were with their children. I'll admit I'm a little fuzzy on that one, because I've never watched BBC Sherlock, but I did follow a few blogs that did so I remember the discourse. This all just feeds into the idea that shipping fandoms "own" the actors that play their favorite characters and has made for quite a toxic environment on most social media.

If the D*stiel fandom is anything like the St*r*k fandom or the J*hnl*ck fandom , than I applaud Jensen for standing his ground in the face of what I'm sure is countless inappropriate fics and art that are constantly thrown at him.

Now, there are a few differences between how Jensen is being accused of being homophobic and how Tyler was accused of being homophobic. The first major difference is something you said in this ask. They're jokes. Keeping in mind that, yes, I did say we shouldn't joke about homophobia, all the "discourse" around D*stiel has been jokes due to a variety of reasons. From how uncomfortable Jensen looked in that scene (leading some to think they were filmed separately and not told how the other was reacting) to the fact that it was happening during election week before the election was called. The fact that the rumors that Putin was stepping down came out at the same time and the whole situation took on this hysterical, otherworldly quality, like this was a collective fever dream we couldn't wake up from. The jokes came about, breaking the tension that had consumed Tumblr and uniting a large number of people in the absurdity of everything.

There's also the fact that the jokes about Jensen being homophobic were just that - jokes! I'll admit that I haven't gone looking, but I haven't seen anyone calling for Jensen to be cancelled or for his career to be derailed or his life to be ruined because of that scene. No, I've seen countless jokes about how Dean looked constipated or memes of random images found on people's phones used to "recreate" that scene. The fact that Jensen apparently wrote into his contract that his character in The Boys wasn't to have a gay sex scene just added to the satirical nature of everything.

Now let's compare that to Tyler Posey. When asked about a crack ship (that had nothing to do with his character) for the umpteenth time, he said that, if that's what fans were watching for, they're probably watching for the wrong reasons. It never condemned the ship or mocked its fans, he simply said that they were watching for the wrong reasons. And given how this interview took place after filming was done for that season, that could be interpreted as him saving people from wasting their time on something that wasn't going to happen. Personally, I just think he was fed up and frustrated about being asked about a crack ship that had nothing to do with him.

And for that one simple sentence, he was (and still is) deluged with hate. He received death threats and threats against his mother while she was battling cancer, all because he said something that wasn't a glowing appraisal of a ship that the fandom made up. To this day, there are people hell bent on proving how Scott was the true villain of the Teen Wolf series, and how Tyler Posey is just an awful human being.

Did any of those things happen to Jensen? No.

Would those things have probably happened to Jared if he'd said something negative about D*stiel? Probably.

Would the Teen Wolf fandom have acted the way it did if it had been Hoechlin or O'Brien who shot down St*r*k? Definitely not. We know that because they both did say something against St*r*k and the fandom at large likes to pretend that it never happened.

So, as we can see, there is a very clear difference between how Jensen was treated and how Tyler was treated. Could racism play a part in that treatment? Most likely, though, many would never admit to that. But, at the end of the day, its important to look at the differences between these two actors and how they were treated by their respective fandoms for what they said in regards to ships that fans have based their entire fandom experience around.

[rachelillustrates]

An Exploration of Kiliel

OKAY, fandom thoughts on my art blog because of Story Study.

My Wife and I finally watched The Hobbit movies, so I’ve finally gotten to Kiliel (..... ❤ ) and I have some headcanons/thoughts about Tauriel’s introduction to the story, the flow of their romance, and what’s important.

(So this will be part meta, part headcanon as I sort that out.)

What’s striking me right away - other than the fact that I came into these movies ALREADY shipping them and am damn pleased about it, thanks Tumblr - is that we are given.... well, bupkis on Tauriel’s motivations and backstory. And the person I’m watching these movies with, who I love very much, was quick to point out that her introduction and immediate positioning as a Romantic Female Lead could read very shallow to the casual viewer.

(Which I am not, thank the Gods.)

So, what of Tauriel’s backstory and deeper life goals? Digging into the fandom, I found notes that her parents were killed by Orcs when she was young, and that Legolas took her under his wing afterward (making him her mentor, and thus making the idea of their romance even less attractive to me, since that means he would hold even MORE sway and authority over her and there would be very little equality for her there. Also, Gimli).

But that’s it. And we’re not given that in the main plot of the movie at all.

What we are given is the information that she’s conscious of the dangers to the outside world, and wants to protect her people by stopping those dangers at the source, despite contrary orders from her King.

So what I think the movie intended, with that scene where she talks to the Elvenking about her concerns and how she immediately chooses to go after the Dwarves later - motivated primarily by the thought of saving Kili - is that Tauriel has a deeper drive to help save the whole world from the threats she sees to it. Because of what happened to her parents, because she knows the spiders are coming from outside their borders, etc. The featurette “Tauriel: Daughter of the Forest” says of her “She has a great curiosity of other races, of the world outside - she literally hasn’t been anywhere...” (mentioned in part 2, part 1 is here). So, to me, her motivations for leaving Mirkwood include that - as well as saving this Dwarf she feels an inexplicably deep bond with already.

On that note, I wish they had gone a bit deeper into her and Kili's immediate connection than what we were shown. I do appreciate how she insisted on fending for herself, in their Battle Couple introduction, and how Kili immediately accepted her for who she is - the trousers joke was, admittedly, a little uncomfortable for me due to personal reasons, but I think it could be read as him meeting her aggression in battle with aggressive flirting, and in that light, her positive response to it (in what she said to Legolas, and in returning to check on him of her own volition) makes a lot more sense to me. And while I really enjoyed and understood the Feast of Starlight scene, those less romance-genre minded than myself may not have understood that as deep "enough” (for more of the intentions of the plot in that scene and the take the actors had on it, click here. Includes a hysterical Leoglas moment at the end!). 

Rewatching it, I do see and recognize how deep their connection is and how meaningful what they choose to share of themselves is - especially with the idea of Kili honoring and respecting (nay, being attracted to) her ferocity, and the fact that most of her kin probably don't automatically respect her for such things. The sexism among the Elves is not as bad as it is with humans, but it is still there. Who knows how much Tauriel has had to fight for her place as the Captain of the Guard, being a woman. And again, it probably wasn’t as bad for her as it was for, say, Eowyn - but no matter how much space there is for women to step up and be active agents of the story in the mythology of the world, Tolkien didn’t choose to make women part of the action, actively, most of the time. So the world still reads as a mostly Men-at-War, Women-at-Home place. And that has to have had an impact on Tauriel’s life. And in addition to how charming Kili is, just as himself, the fact that he sees that part of her, respects her and admires her FOR it, must hold a lot of weight.

Another part of what I've seen, in re-immersing myself in the fandom now, has been this idea that both Kili's culture and Tauriel's culture have an idea of soulmates, the One person who, when you meet them, shakes you to your core, and you are never the same again. I really think that's what the writing was going for (see Evangeline Lily’s comments in part 2 of “Tauriel: Daughter of the Forest,” particularly), but it wasn't given the space and depth that it needed to be apparent on surface level of casual viewing. 

So, from my fangirling perspective, I imagine that they both felt that right away, but were so surprised by it - because of the unexpectedness of their circumstances, and the animosity between their peoples- that they didn't know how to handle it, and fell into awkward humor, and slightly clumsy attempts to get to know each other as they tried to sort it out.

I imagine that Tauriel's outright denial of any connection to Legolas, and immediate acceptance of his father's racism toward her in that context, was also swayed by her newfound feelings. They (Tauriel and Kili) probably did talk more, as well, about their families and their deepest dreams after the Feast of Starlight scene cut off. We just aren’t given that information.

(Anyone else for a romantic adventure Kiliel-centric mini series?)

Then of course, we are given the healing scene. What I got from this, beyond their romance, was that Tauriel always looks to be helpful. When she takes the athelas from Bofur, she looks like she’s had a revelation. She realizes she can help, she can heal Kili, and that gives her an outlet of action for all the confusing feelings she’s having. She goes right into business mode about that - and Kili, all pained and fevered, barely realizes it’s her. But when he does, he looks at her in wonder (with a fever-dream angelic view of the magic around her, even! Sidenote - I LOVE how messy her hair was. Both beauty and realistic adventure life). And she looks back at him with such serious kindness, telling him to trust her, without words. Of course, he does....only to then believe that she wasn’t there at all, and spill his heart out to this apparition of the person he already knows he loves.

And in that, he is so sure that she’s beyond his reach, even though he knows he loves her already. Even though as he talks about how she’s on another level of existence than his, his action is still to reach for her hand, still reaching for her, despite the words he’s saying. He still wants to believe it is possible - that they are possible - even as he’s trying to accept that they can never be.

Which, of course, leads into the beach scene. After the whirlwind of surviving Smaug’s attack, too (extra shoutout to the writing there, regarding Tauriel and Bard’s children - she’s aware enough to realize that Bard’s son is the only one of the three of them that might have had any sliver of training for situations like this, because human misogyny, so she uses that to protect all of them - “Your sisters will die if we stay here,” etc. - but as soon as he runs off to help his father, she still makes the girls her priority, as well as the Dwarves. Headcanoning that if Kili had survived, and they married and moved into Erebor, she would have damn well taught those girls how to fight).

Anyway, back to the beach. I think my favorite part of that moment, other than the Heart Wrenching Perfection of what Kili says to her (and how it’s acted!), is that he has realized that she wasn’t a fever dream after all - that he did, in fact, say all those potentially embarrassing romantic feely-feels things right to her actual face - and instead of being embarrassed, he just GOES for it. He is that sure. Sure enough, that even when she can’t let herself reciprocate his feelings (even though she clearly does - and she doesn't say no, btw, she is interrupted by Legolas' arrival and thusly the reminder of her duty and her 'place') he then gives her the token from his mother, to let her know she’ll always be in his heart, no matter what she decides. And he almost doesn't, he almost leaves, but turns back in the last moment, in that desperate, loving attempt to try again. No matter how impossible it seems.

MY freaking heart.

Also, when Tauriel then learns of her banishment, she looks shaken at first - but quickly, almost relieved. See here, at about 39 seconds in. She has clearly been fighting against her own heart each moment since Kili came into her life - even though, as I mentioned before, he provides a grand excuse for her to go help other people beyond Mirkwood’s borders. And now, released from the obligations she has to her people, to her King, who doesn’t fully respect her anyway, she is free to do what she could not just moments ago. She is free to choose her own path - to follow her heart, and her ambitions to help the world.

Of course, she follows Legolas first - the path of least resistance being to follow her mentor and Prince. And I get from that that she’s shut herself off from her own emotions for so long - likely due to her parent’s death, early in her life - that she really doesn’t know what to do with herself, in that freedom, and in love. So, following her nearest authority figure, giving herself a moment to breathe and decide later, seems natural.

But, luckily, that path leads right back Erebor.

And unluckily, right into the tragic ending.

But first, she confronts the Elvenking (who has banished her, and therefore freed her, though that was not his intention) about his refusal to stay and help. His concern for his own people, again, will lead to them not being there to save the lives of others suffering in the world around them. And she’s not having that - in general, even if a large part of it is her love for Kili. The script focuses only on that love - with Thranduil refusing to accept that she really loves Kili, comparing what he imagines she feels to what he felt for his late wife, it seems - but there is so much in her whole narrative that has already pointed to her desire to help the whole world, even before she lets herself start feeling for Kili. And this moment plays right into that deeper motivation.

Of course, her story being a romance, finding and protecting Kili is her first priority. And sadly, that goes, as we know, badly.

It bothers me a LOT that she “had” to be damseled in the Big Fight. BUT. We at least get the strength of their connection before she gets trampled by Bolg (and the surety of her voice when she calls for him, and the focus that hearing her, and his calling back out to her, gives him - yes. It’s subtle, but its very strong and very there). And at least they get to see each other one last time - Kili knows, no matter what happens, she chose to come after him after all.

And all the emotion, in her watching him die, and him realizing what they’ve lost even though she did choose him.....ugh. My heart, again. They are both just so clearly broken - Tauriel so confused, not able to accept that its come to this, after she chose to find him, after everything. Kili so brokenhearted that after all his hoping - after she chose him back - they still can’t be together (not to mention the fact that he’s just lost his brother, too, the only other person we see him love as intensely as her). And then, in the last moments of (this part of) the fight, when Kili is gone and Tauriel is alone again, her pain is so great, her anger so clear, her love so deep, she is willing to use her own momentum and throw herself off the tower’s edge with Bolg, just to try and make for damn sure that he pays for what he’s done.

(I will forever maintain that the fact that that didn’t kill him - that SHE didn’t get to kill him - is a travesty. Especially with his murder of Kili, but also for the gross tongue thing. Very uncomfortable with what that implied.)

I’m gonna skip over the intervention of Legolas to save her life, cause that’s not important here, suffice to say that once again I am Pissed as Hell that they felt the need to damsel her so much. Sigh. I must assume, from a writing standpoint, that they chose to nerf her in this battle because she’s never been involved in war like this - fights to protect Mirkwood, yes, but not War Battle. HOWEVER, there are ways for them to have written through that and not made her look so weak. Especially considering that she is a seasoned warrior - AND had fought Orcs before, as we saw in “The Desolation of Smaug” - and between her and Kili, who one of Thorin’s strongest warriors, they should have at least been able to do better together. Crudmuffins! That, of course, would have messed with the outcome of the source material, but who of us would really be complaining? Hmm? (Sorry Tolkien.)

Their canon story ends, of course, with Tauriel having to come to terms with her feelings and Kili’s death all at once. As as much as I spent most of the movies harshing on Thranduil (except to honor how fabulous he is, stylistically and attitude-wise, and make as many Party Elk jokes as I could), i am glad they brought him back for this scene - not only that he gave Legolas a direction away from mooning over Tauriel, but that he got to help Tauriel accept what had happened (in his own blunt way). The way he watches her here, and looks at her, I feel like he’s really seeing her and accepting her as a person and not below him for the first time. I’m also headcanoning, since we know that Tauriel was orphaned and bonded with Legolas soon after (as her mentor - and honestly, I read their relationship as more of a broship/sibling situation), I feel like she was taken under the wing of his household - not because he approved, but because it was the Right Thing and probably looked good to his people, even if he couldn’t fully accept her due to her heritage. I also feel like the fact that she asks him to take the love away from her, since it hurts so much, also points to a more parental role than he would admit. If your heart was broken, who else would you ask to take those feelings from you - at that first heartbreak - than a parent?

But of course, he can’t - all he can do is finally admit, despite his earlier insistence otherwise, that her love for Kili IS real (I feel like he might have gone through something absolutely similar with his wife’s passing - finding her falling in battle, mourning over her body). And that smashes any hope she had that she could keep denying how she feels - it passes over her face, visibly and physically, that shock that he’s admitting it, then frustrated realization that if it’s real, she can’t deny her feelings anymore and can’t close her heart to it, and then just pure pain again as she realizes what she had and the full measure of what she’s lost.

And then she kisses him, as if she’s sealing that love and acceptance - the only time, super duper heart-stabbingly tragically, that she’ll ever get to you know, according to this version of the story.

I can only hope that afterward, Tauriel chose to honor herself and Kili’s memory by continuing to help the world at large, in her exile. And that she surprise and “oh shit”-ness of Thranduil’s expression upon realizing that an Elf could truly love a Dwarf means that he will be kinder to Legolas when he brings Gimli home.

Now, as far as the runestone goes, I initially wanted to believe that Tauriel would take it back after she gave it back to Kili in death, maybe to return it to his mother on a well-intentioned trip to meet her, to give them both closure. However, upon learning about what’s specifically written ON the stone, I have a different thought - Middle Earth News points out here that the runes on it translate to “Return to me.” Obviously, at its creation and initial giving, that was about Kili’s mother bidding her reckless son to come home safe. But when Kili gave the stone to Tauriel on the beach, he made it theirs as well. He bid Tauriel to return to him by giving it to her. And so now, in returning it to him upon his death, Tauriel bids Kili in turn to return to her, death be damned.

So while at first glance, that returning of the runestone may look like Tauriel denying her feelings again, its really a further, even more solid gesture of that acceptance. And honestly, to me, an expression of hope.

And I feel like hope is what really strikes me, about this ship. They have SO much potential, not only in how little we’ve been given of them in canon, but the potential they see in each other in those brief moments where they obviously imagine what their lives could be like, if they could be. One of my favorite shows says, early in its story, “Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a powerful thing.” And that is exactly what I see in them, and why they strike me as so wonderful. They are hope, and the belief in love despite all odds against them, despite all the darkness around them.

And no matter how shakily that might appear to be set up, that is gorgeous, at its heart and root.

And if you got this far in all my scattered ramblings, thank you!

(The art above is my own, btw. For more of my own star-crossed inter-fantasy-racial height-difference queer fae, click here 💕 )

~~~

Patreon ~ Etsy ~ Ko-fi

[destieldrabblesdaily]

hello there (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty new to destiel and just found your blog because I wanted to look into some fanfics and someone recommended & turns that you have like a billion one shots for destiel! love your writing style but, I'm not sure where to start in your drabbles tag because it's soooo much (ﾟдﾟ) can u maybe point me to some popular ones or some that you preferred writing or something like that to get me started? thank you anyway (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿

Hey friend! 

Ahh, I totally get you. :p A billion is a bit ambitious, but with like 400 stories in one tag and no way to sort, it might get tricky. *sweats nervously for not having a better tagging system*

But anyway, you rock for finding my blog and liking my style, so here is a little something to help you out! For starters, a lot of my stories are also on AO3, which is still a realm of chaos, but is a hell of a lot easier to navigate than my tumblr tag. 

Anyway, here is a little map to get you started, sorted by my most popular Destiel fics (according to AO3), and ones I personally just loved writing!

—

Canon!Verse fics, most popular:

1) CursedTeam Free Will is hunting a witch, but before she dies she turns Cas into a kitten. They can’t find a cure, and after two weeks everyone is losing hope. One night when Cas is sleeping on Dean’s chest, the curse fades and he turns into himself again. As Dean’s luck would have it, Sam walks into the living room seeing Dean sprawled out on the couch with a very naked Castiel on top of him.

2) JealousyWhen Dean, Sam and Castiel are having a drink at a bar after a hunt, Dean finds Cas flirting with a guy, and suddenly realizes something about his own feelings for the angel… 

3) Dream A Little DreamCastiel goes after a Djinn but gets captured, and of course his dream world is all about Dean and him being happy together, so he’s very disappointed when Dean and Sam save him and he wakes up… 

4) With A Little Help From My FriendDean is really nervous about finally telling Castiel how he feels, so he practices over Skype with Charlie. Naturally, Cas chooses that exact moment to drop by, and ends up hearing the whole thing…

5) WhiteboardFor a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room. When failing to say the words out loud, there’s always the option to write them down. So that’s exactly what Castiel suggests, and Dean humors him, the two of them finding new ways to understand and forgive each other by working through some issues from both the present and the past.

—

Soulmate AU’s, most popular:

1) What Can’t Be SeenSoulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

2) The PendantAU where instead of a tattoo/name everyone’s born with a pendant/charm necklace that matches their soulmate’s. Dean walks into their bathroom thinking it’s empty, but there’s Cas taking off his shirt to take a shower and Dean sees his necklace (that matches Dean’s, obviously) and freaks out (because Dean is totally 100% NOT gay at all). Bonus if Cas already knows.

3) Daffodils & Forget-Me-NotsSoulmate AU where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

—

High School AU’s, most popular:

1) No HomoFor the prompt: ‘I wasn’t gay, but then I kissed you in front of some homophobes to piss them off, and turns out I might be kinda gay for you after all’. In which a kiss makes Dean realize that he has feelings for his best friend.

2) This Game We PlayDean and Castiel have been best friends since they were little, and sleepovers are a common event. They’ve always loved playing the game where they draw out letters on each others backs and try to guess what the other is writing. Even though sixteen seems to be a bit too old to still play the game, Castiel uses it as a chance to silently confess something that he’s been wanting to share with Dean for a long time.

3) Camping and CuddlesDean and Castiel have been best friends since forever, and they decide to go on a camping trip to celebrate graduating high school. When it starts raining and Cas’ tent turns out to have a huge hole in it, the boys are forced to share Dean’s tent, and things heat up.

4) The CallCastiel accidentally butt dials his best friend Dean, and Dean overhears a conversation that wasn’t meant for his ears. Or: the one in which Dean finds out that his best friend has feelings for him.

5) Practice Makes Perfect‘It’s not gay if it’s practice, but shit that was actually really nice wanna practice some more?’ Or, the one in which Dean offers to help his best friend Cas improve his kissing skills, until it’s no longer just ‘practice’. 

(If you are particularly into High School AU’s, I also made a complete list of al my HS AU’s that you can find here –> Click!

—

College/Roommate AU’s, most popular:

1) What It MeansDean’s roommate and best friend Castiel always says ‘I love you’ to him every night before they go to sleep. Seeing as Dean has some serious feelings for his friend, he can’t take the confusion any longer and one night asks Cas what it means when he says ‘I love you’. 

2) If At First You Don’t SucceedFor the prompt: “Wait, did you just flirt with me?“ “Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

”Dean has a huge crush on his friend Castiel, with whom he also shares an apartment. When he decides that he finally wants to woo Cas, everything that could possibly go wrong, does indeed go wrong.

3) UnbrokenDean’s best friend and roommate Castiel is asexual, and it’s causing Cas a lot of trouble when it comes to dating. Cas feels broken, but Dean deeply disagrees; he’d be with Cas in a heartbeat, if only Cas would see him as more than a friend… 

4) Safe And SoundFor the prompt: ‘College!AU where Dean and Cas are roommates and one of them is afraid of thunder, so naturally they have to huddle/cuddle together until the storm is over.’

5) Hot & ColdDean and his best friend Castiel get stuck in the middle of nowhere when the Impala’s engine gives up on them. A snowstorm is raging, and it seems that the only way to keep warm is a method that sounds a lot like ‘naked cuddling’. Not that Dean is complaining.

—

Blind/Deaf AU’s, most popular:

1) Through Your EyesDean’s best friend Castiel is blind, which is why Cas loves it whenever Dean describes the things as he sees them. When Castiel gets curious and wants more details about Dean’s looks, Dean is reluctant to go into detail about them. Castiel’s solution is simple, and demands nothing more than a gentle touch.

2) At First SightDean has been blind since he was four years old, but at 18 years old he regains his sight through special surgery. This also means that he will finally be able to actually see his boyfriend Castiel for the first time. Castiel is excited, but at the same time utterly terrified that Dean won’t approve of his looks…

3) MisunderstandingsWhen the handsome new student Castiel Novak arrives at Lawrence High, Dean has every intention of making him feel welcome. However, Castiel seems to ignore Dean whenever Dean tries to talk to him…

4) DeliciousImagine your OTP, based on this text post: ‘Okay, so I’m a waitress at this restaurant that’s open really late and it’s nearly 1am and this family comes in and I’m so tired that I handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this” in a serious voice and I fucking snorted.'With blind!Dean and waiter!Cas.

—

Personal favorites to write:

1) Her Favorite Love StoryThe story of Dean and Castiel as seen through Mary Winchester’s eyes; AKA how she witnesses her oldest son fall in love with his best friend. 

2) The MatchmakerBased on this prompt: “My cat keeps breaking into your apartment next to mine, so I tied a note to its collar to apologize, and you write back. We keep exchanging cat notes, and you turn out to be pretty cute.” 

3) WingsWhen ten year old Dean Winchester and his family move to a new town, he becomes best friends with the boy next door, who happens to be an actual angel. Dean is fascinated with Castiel’s wings from the start, however when they get older, Cas suddenly starts hiding them and no longer wants Dean to groom them for him.

4) BlackboardsFor the prompt: 'Dean and Cas are both high school teachers, and they leave each other cute notes on each others’ black boards.’

5) To Date a DickCas is out on a date with a complete and utter asshole in a really nice restaurant, and Dean is their waiter who feels the need to intervene.

6) Angel Grace (2 Parts)Dean Winchester loves going to conventions to meet the cast of his favorite TV show 'Angel Grace’. Aside from being good at his job, lead actor Castiel Novak is charming, handsome, and has a heart of gold. Like many fans, Dean has a serious crush on the guy. However after meeting Castiel several times, it’s starting to look like Dean’s crush isn’t as one sided as Dean had always assumed it was.

—

Holiday Specials:

❄ Destiel Drabbles: December/Christmas Edition Fluffy Christmas-themed Destiel stories to warm the cockles of your heart during the cold December days! 

❄ All I Want For ChristmasDuring a big family get together, a drunk Castiel starts singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ to his best friend Dean while the whole family watches.

🕷Destiel Drabbles: Halloween EditionSome fluffy Halloween themed Destiel drabbles. Happy Halloween!

🕷Kiss Or TreatCastiel has been dutifully handing out Halloween candy all night, entertaining the many kids ringing the Novak house’s doorbell, but he’s in for a big surprise when the bell rings once more and it’s his crush Dean Winchester suddenly standing there on his front porch…

🕷Of Holding Hands and Haunted HousesFor the prompt: 'You’re scared of haunted houses and Halloween attractions, and I don’t even know you but your friends left you behind (what dicks) so I’m gonna hold your hand and get you through this, alright?’

♥Valentine’s DayFor the prompt: 'Cas anonymously sending Dean one of those school Valentine’s Day flowers with a little personalized note, thinking that someone as popular as Dean won’t notice his message anyway because he gets so many. Little does he know that Dean sent one to him as well…’

—

If you feel like reading a multi-chapter Destiel fic, I wrote one of those as well: 

Fortune CookiesDean and his best friend Jo own a bakery together. When a salesman named Crowley visits Dean to make a deal, Dean has no idea of the consequences, and his world turns upside down when an actual angel literally crashes into his life. For the first time in his thirty-year-existence, Dean is overwhelmed by real companionship, wings, and most of all… love.

—

Or for easily reading and clicking through short fluffy (mostly canon!verse) Destiel stories, go here:

~ 100 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

Or here: 

~ 30 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

—

Hope this was helpful, and happy reading! :D (I really need to become a better tagger, ahum. :p)

[ever-searching]

what are your favorite icons for each muse? (I don't actually know what this question means. So, I am curious to see how you will interpret it! lol)

In some fandoms, roleplayers use icons (i.e. small cropped images) when doing Tumblr RP. I’m not sure if that’s a relic from LiveJournal, where a single blog could have several avatar icons which could be changed between posts, but as I haven’t done much Tumblr RP - and especially not in a while - I don’t have any icons for my characters.

Instead, I’ll list the anime/game characters whom I could use as icons for my FF characters, whether due to their looks, personality - or sometimes a bit of both!

Cain: Ren Amaki (The Rising of the Shield Hero)

I like to think that Ren Amaki is pretty much what Cain would be like if he'd been given a sword and told that he was a hero a few years before his adventures actually began. They give me similar vibes, as vague as that might sound.

//Edit: In hindsight, Alto Saotome (whom I've gushed about separately) from Macross Frontier might be an even better option despite the different colour schemes.

Lumien: Julious (Angelique)

While Julious is quite a close match to Lumien when it comes to looks and colour scheme, their personalities are fairly different due to Julious being self-assured and somewhat stiff and Lumien being timid and a bit sensitive. 

Storm: Doppo Kunikida (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Kunikida’s appearance bears (at least some) similarities to Storm’s (original) character design, and while Kunikida has no chill and Storm has a lot of chill, both of them have a strong moral code which others may consider naive.

Narangelel: Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis Evangelion) & Zelgadis Greywords (Slayers)

Nara gets two characters because although Rei feels somewhat similar to Nara (acting rather quiet and subdued despite being a soldier), I haven’t actually watched enough Evangelion to make proper judgement. Zelgadis, on the other hand, is much more familiar to me; he acts differently and is male... but he was a notable source of inspiration for Nara’s looks, admittedly.  

Merces: Allelujah Haptism (Gundam 00)

Very serious? Check. Backstory which involves questionable scientific shenanigans? Check. More or less considers himself a human weapon? Kind of check. They also look somewhat similar.

Haldswys: Faris Scherwitz (Final Fantasy V)

Haldswys was partly inspired by Faris, which can probably seen from her purplish hair colour and the pirate-related bits of her backstory (although Haldswys herself isn’t a pirate; her mother was).

Chaz: Haseo (.hack//G.U.)

In addition to somewhat similar hairstyle, both Chaz and Haseo can be considered whiny and snarky at times - and are capable of wielding double daggers. I could also imagine them sharing the same voice actor(s).

Missing: G’ilas, Sasameru, Brenda

G’ilas’s looks were created by playing with the character creator, and his personality simply combines traits from a few OCs and things my characters usually don’t have.

Sasameru started off being a Merces expy, believe it or not, and then went on to develop in a fairly different direction.

Brenda is/was... something of a self-insert, only with white hair because Red Mages in Final Fantasy I had white hair (and I like Red Mages a lot for Reasons(TM)).

[smallblueandloud]

hi essbie!! you seem super awesome❤️❤️ if you would like to talk to me about the west wing i would love that! i’m watching for the first time now and i’m in LOVE with it- tell me all your thoughts! otps, favorite episodes, arcs, characters... anything!

oh my god, this is my FAVORITE ASK THAT I HAVE EVER RECEIVED EVER. i’m so happy to talk about the west wing because the fandom that’s still alive today seems to be TINY (although high-spirited!!). thank you for asking!! i will endeavor to talk a lot.... which isn’t hard for me, lol.

(psst, before we begin, can i recommend you check out @donnajosh, who posts gorgeous new gifsets of tww pretty regularly [and also has gifs tagged by episode so you can find the right post to reblog when you’re liveblogging, shh], @etraytin, who’s written some AMAZING multichaps that have gotten me through this very stressful week, and @cassiesinsanity, who’s just plain genuinely amazing?? okay. now that that’s out of the way.)

i tried to figure out from your blog where you are in the show, but i can’t find anything more detailed than “probably has finished in the shadow of two gunmen”, so i’m just gonna keep things anti-spoilers. there are some really, really cool plot developments in tww, and i don’t recommend you spoil yourself for things on purpose! but also like. i DEFINITELY spoil things for myself all the time. so what the hell, don’t listen to me lol.

(i tried to put this under a cut, but tumblr glitched. sorry, peeps who don’t care about the west wing. also, WATCH THE WEST WING.)

my ALL TIME, dearest headcanon is adhd josh. i just. i love my boy so much. i love my impulsive, ridiculously-sensitive-to-perceived-rejection, loud, hyperfixated boy so much. i don’t know everything about adhd, but from what i know josh is TEXTBOOK. or at least he’s a lot like me! and i’m reasonably sure i have adhd. so. i’m REALLY, REALLY into that headcanon and everything about it. (i actually wrote a fic in which i wrote him the way i see his adhd presenting, because i love him so much. hmm, i should write a fic about josh being adhd. what kind of stims would josh like??)

i love and adore josh/donna, like many many other people. i like zoey/charlie, just because i think they make each other happy and both of them deserve that. i... like cj/danny? sorta? i think they’re adorable, and they have some REALLY good moments (no spoilers but. oh my god. danny really out here chugging his respect women juice and i love him for it). but also i am EXTREMELY ATTACHED to cj/toby and more specifically cj/toby/andy.

HEAR ME OUT. cj has EXTREME wlw energy and cj and toby have A LOT of married energy but then toby and andy... love each other so much, it’s so clear, in literally everything they do, i don’t know if you’ve gotten to the end of s5 yet but i cry. so like?? obviously, because i am who i am, polyamory is the answer! basically the rundown is: andy and toby are a typical couple except that they fight a lot. cj is kinda in the middle. if gay marriage had been legal / socially acceptable in the 80s (because god knows this ot3 has been thinking about optics since they graduated college), cj and andy would’ve gotten married and toby would’ve come and gone depending on who he’d pissed off recently, and everything would’ve been perfect. instead, andy and toby got married and it didn’t work because they really just couldn’t function as a unit, especially since their getting married meant that cj isolated herself a bit more. definitely cj and toby have a couple of SCREAMING arguments about the whole relationship. idk.

but just like. imagine with me, if you will, cj and toby... not dating, while working in the white house, but being exes. friendly exes. friendly exes who are still in love with each other and know it. please imagine that and then think about “i love you desperately / i know” and “you wanna make out with me right now, don’t you? / well, when don’t i?” and “we had it good there for a while / yeah, we did” and then join me in the pit of sadness.

(sidenote i have a sense8 au for the west wing and the second story is just me being emotional about their cluster for 5k. i have another story vaguely planned that i’ll probably never write about the development of the ot3 and about their cluster and how it functions. but don’t read that story until you finish... the first half of s7? or thereabouts? actually probably you should finish the show before you read the sense8 au in general if you’re avoiding spoilers.)

(when i say “i’ll probably never write”, i mean “until the next time i get obsessed with the west wing”. which will probably be years from now. oh, well, we can all hope the muse actually does something efficient for once.)

so yeah. those are my ships. i know a lot of people shipped josh/sam, but i don’t really see it? sam always seemed Way Too Straight for that to work lol, although i DO like the idea of sam pining tragically for josh for years just like donna does. (can you tell i read such a winter’s day a few days ago? it’s amazing. i haven’t left a review yet because i have not been a human being recently, but go read it!! it’s awesome!!)

also, i love the idea of bartlet/abbey/leo, although i can’t really visualize it lol. but there’s some amazing fic for them out there. maybe one day my stupid brain will realize the angst potential and actually let me write something for them, hopefully within the sense8 au. (sam also has a cluster! and i would love to write about them! .....but my brain doesn’t do what i tell it to. ever.)

my favorite arc.... i don’t know. i really loved the early seasons, which were a little more episodic, but ALSO i actually really liked the tone after aaron sorkin left after s4? it takes some getting used to, but it’s WAY more emotional, and i am ALL HERE FOR THAT. i definitely have a least favoite arc, or at least a least-favorite way-that-they-handled-a-storyline (spoiler alert: i hated how they handled the end of bartlet’s presidency in the white house. like. SHE’S ALL ALONE IN THERE- anyways. trying not to give detailed spoilers!)

favorite episodes: hmm. i love the thanksgiving episodes. i loved any episode with the ainsley-and-sam dynamic. noel is a phenomenal episode. 26 could make anyone weep. the flashbacks are the best. the fucking- the fucking what’s next motif.

honestly, probably i’d have to say my favorite episode is either 4x20 (evidence of things not seen, for “stupidly noble cluster” reasons and cj/toby reasons and bartlet & charlie reasons. also i feel like there’s some good josh/donna there too but i can’t remember exactly?) or 7x21 (institutional memory, because i’m pretty sure the writers reached into my id and pulled out EXACTLY what i needed from them to be okay with the show ending. jesus CHRIST i have never felt so satisfied after an episode. literally everything i ever could have wanted happened in that episode. i’m STILL reeling. it’s a perfect episode.)

my favorite characters are... literally everyone? i know that’s cheating but i love them all SO MUCH (except mandy and amy, of course). josh is my favorite, always and forever, but i love cj more than words and sometimes i can’t breathe for love of toby. leo and bartlet and charlie and sam and donna- here i was thinking i was gonna resent will forever but i LOVE will. ainsley is an amazing woman. abbey is such a good character, god, talk about a flawed woman who’s allowed to be a good person.

AND THEN THEY MADE ME ROOT FOR A REPUBLICAN. again, i doubt you’ve gotten to s7, but the republican nominee in the last election... jesus christ. i love that man so much. arguably, i’m very biased, but also how D A R E they expect me to root against him. how DARE.

(i swear this will make more sense once you meet him. i just love the actor a lot, okay?)

anyways. this got ridiculously long. i would LOVE to talk about the west wing with you, feel free to reblog this with your own thoughts or tag me in your own post or message me or something. i would love to hear your reactions!! it’s such a good show, and such a smart show, and every character is so mcfreaking good at what they do and i adore it. enjoy the ride because there’s nothing as perfect and as quality as the west wing. if you’ll please excuse me, i’m going to go cry about 7x21 again.

[monsterkinkmeme]

FAQ & Rules

Hello! Welcome to Monster Kink Meme!

This blog is a source for writing and art prompts for monsters & kinks. Pretty straightforward. Here’s a basic FAQ, mixed with our rules.

What is the point of this blog?

This blog is to generate writing and art prompts, similar to @write-it-motherfuckers and @writing-prompt-s, specifically for exophilia writers and artists.

Can we submit prompts?

Yes! Please do, either through the submission button or through asks. Asks are best for short prompts, or things that you want to keep anonymous. Submissions are best for longer prompts, and cannot be anonymous. We love getting prompts from folks. If you have a request for a story, please phrase it as a prompt. We aren’t a request blog, but a prompt blog. 

Who can participate?

Anyone over the age of 18.

How can we participate?

Other than submitting prompts, if you see a prompt that inspires you, write or draw something and reblog it with the original prompt. Also, tag liberally.

Art submitted cannot be anonymous and must be from either the artist who created it or posted with permission from the artist who created it. Do not repost someone else’s art without their permission. This includes using it in moodboards (those collages at the top of stories.) 

I see you suggest genders/monsters. Do I need to use those?

Mod prompts will sometimes have suggested genders & monsters. Those are totally optional and can be ignored if something else inspires you.

Submitted prompts that include requested monsters or genders should be considered mandatory, since people submitting those are setting up specific situations they’d hope to see.

Do I need to use a specific tense or point of view? [x]

No! The exophilia community does a lot of writing from second person present tense as a stylistic thing, but that doesn’t mean you should limit yourself to that. Write what feels comfortable to you. If that’s third person, write that! If it’s past tense, then that’s fine, too!

Can I write about sexy stuff? Kinky stuff? Polyamory?

Yes! We leave our prompts open, but if something you write takes a sexy turn, or features extra kinks, or multiple partners, that’s totally fine by us. (As long as it abides by the rules below re: what we don’t allow.) We love that stuff, it’s just that a lot of what we’ve gotten so far has been sweet rather than spicy.

Just make sure you TAG APPROPRIATELY. Use the citrus scale, tag for content (anything that people may want to know about before choosing to read your story), and follow the content rules. (We want consent, no incest, no underage sex, and no bestiality. Beyond that, it’s fair game.)

Where do I find monster inspiration?

We’ve got a post here. The short version? Everywhere! Pop culture. Cryptids. Mythology. Dungeons & Dragons. Video Games. Movies. Your Imagination.

I need writing help. Do you have advice?

We have a post here. It’s got advice from a bunch of us about how to start, how to continue. How to do the thing. The biggest thing is just to go for it. You’ll never get better without doing.

If a prompt has already been “filled,” can someone else write about the same prompt with a different story?

Yep! We’d love to see as many iterations as you guys can think of! (Someone asked Aelia about it, there’s a post.)

Are there any format expectations/requirements for stories?

Generally we like to see something that lists Characters, Content, and Rating, and a Read More link when appropriate. 

Characters tells people who/what is in your story. Reader & monster genders would be listed here. 

Content would be where you put any tags (see the next question) and warn people about anything that may squick or trigger, as well as any acts or situations that they may be interested in, or which they may wish to avoid. This allows people to make good choices for themselves. 

Rating is based on our Citrus Scale. 

If your story is more than about 6 paragraphs, or it’s explicit or potentially triggering, we love to see you use a Read More/Keep Reading tag  after the first paragraph or two so when we reblog it people don’t have to scroll forever.

How should I tag?

There’s two spots we love to see tags!

1: Ahead of your story. If you put tags before your story, your readers can make informed choices about what you’ve written, and whether it’s a good/safe choice for them. This is where we want to see tags about any kinks, sex acts, or content warnings for readers.

2: In the tumblr tags. This is where you put things to make your story searchable, so DO NOT put NSFW or “sexual” tags here, as it will make the post inaccessible by searching. This is where all the tags about citrus scale, monster types, reader & monster genders, pairings, and fandoms that apply should go. Here’s a post about unsearchable tags. Using these tags will make your post “disappear” and we’d hate to see that happen.

We have a handy guide to how we want to see the citrus scale used for stories that people hope to see on our blog.

Overall, USE CONTENT WARNINGS. We cannot stress this enough. We want readers to be able to make informed choices about what they read to avoid “squicks” and triggers.

Should we use the “teratophilia” tag?

We would prefer you didn’t for two reasons: A: teratophilia is no longer a searchable tag, and B: given the original definition of the word (sexual attraction to deformed, disfigured, or monstrous people and a form of paraphilia, I.E. attraction to the disabled), the moderators of this blog feel it is both inaccurate and insensitive.

Most (not all, but most) monster-lover writers now use the much more accurate term exophilia (the love of extraterrestrial, robotic, supernatural, or otherwise non-human life-forms) to describe our work. Robophilia (sexual attraction to robots) and xenophilia (sexual attraction to aliens) is still permissible.

Topics we don’t allow/won’t post/reblog:

Real people (like actors, musicians, and other celebrities)

Incest (including step/adopted family members)

Non-con/dub-con (including rape-play)

Whump (”Hurt/Comfort” fics that focus more on the hurt and less on the comfort. Not to be confused with standard Hurt/Comfort or BDSM)

Bestiality (creatures that don’t possess the mental capacity to consent)

Under-aged/pedophilia (with the minimum age being 18)

Everything else it totally fine.

If you plan on writing anything along these lines using our prompts, please make it a separate post, and do not tag us in it. This is because we want our notes to be relatively safe for people to look through, but also because we don’t want to be associated with things that violate our policies.

We would also like to point out once more that this is a prompt/prompt fill blog, not a request or roleplay blog. If your story/submission does not meet our rules and is NOT a prompt/prompt fill, we will not be posting it on our blog.

Do not plagiarize books/movies/video games for your prompts. 

We’ve seen this cropping up a lot recently. We will not post them if we spot them, and if we miss it and someone points it out, it’ll be deleted. [x]

General Expectation for Respect/Sensitivity

We didn’t want to phrase this one as a question necessarily but we wanted to make it clear that on the whole, not only do all of the mods of this blog embrace the idea of an open community, but we endorse appreciation over appropriation, as well as sensitivity and respect when working with creatures from races and cultures that are not your own, or sexualities, or genders which you do not identify with. We love representation, we just want to see it done well.

Mod Traveler has a post on her blog that sums it up well and includes links to educational resources for people looking for more info, but you should be able to reach out to any of us for more information about what we mean.

What are “theme days”?

We (sometimes) have two theme days a week where we request prompts that fit a specific theme. Prompts that come in on those days which fit those themes get posted immediately instead of getting queued.

Trope Tuesday is all about our favorite tropes with monsters mixed in. First Date Friday is about the trials and tribulations of first dates. We currently do them weekly, but that’s subject to change.

What are tropes?

We’ve had a few questions come in about this! We’ve answered it here, and here. But the short version is; storytelling shorthand. Common “cliche” situations that readers recognize, and may have set expectations for. (”Oh no someone is getting married and I need a date!” etc.) 

I saw you reblog something from [other prompt page]. Why?

So, we reblog from other prompt pages because we are trying to keep enough prompts in the queue to have stuff posting with consistency. We’ve been trying to share relevant prompt posts from other places (with permission from the other blogs, in every case) to ensure there’s enough content.

I wrote a story but you didn’t reblog it!

If it didn’t violate any of our rules, we just might have missed it in the notes, or it wasn’t about monsters. Please feel free to tag us, or message a member of the mod team directly. :)

Will you post a story I submit to you?

Only if it’s a direct response to one of our prompts, and/or it involves monsters. We’re a monster prompt blog. :) 

Do you have a masterlist?

We do! We have one for Fills and one for Prompts.

I don’t like something I saw posted, what do I do?

We can’t control what people post in response to prompts posted here, but we won’t ever reblog something that doesn’t fit the spirit of our blog, and we’ll never post prompts that go against our rules.

With the exception of our explicitly not allowed list, we abide by the “your kink doesn’t have to be my kink, and that’s okay” rule. The tl;dr version of this is “if it doesn’t violate the rules, but you don’t like it, just keep scrolling.”

If you feel it does violate our rules but it slipped through the cracks somehow, please send one of the mods a message, and we will help you out with it.

That’s it! We’ll update as needed! Have fun and get creating!

- Team Kink (AKA: @aelia-likes-monsters, @elizabethtarington, @hufflesmonsters, @monstersandmaw, @cozycryptidcorner, @demonsigh, & @thetravelerwrites)

[go-diane-winchester]

New question:  Why do I dislike Misha and his fans?

@super-who-loser asked the following question:

Hey, I’m not trying to come across as rude or anything I’m just wondering why you dislike Misha so much? I know Jared and Jensen have been there since the beginning and yes, there have been times where his character has been pretty useless but I don’t hate him and you’re being really mean to some Destiel shippers and like I know that it’s obviously never going to happen and Cockles is a big no no for me but I am confused about why you really don’t like him? I’m honestly just curious

Thank you for the question.  Let me point out before hand, that my irritation towards Misha has nothing to do with a ship.  I used to read destiel slash.  I used to like Cockles AU.  I don't ship wincest.  I ship AUs.  Its my favorite slash subgenre.  So no, this is not a ship argument.  Ship whatever you want, but mind your manners.  There are many things that I don't like about Misha.  However I am choosing to answer only from a SPN perspective because that is the primary way that we know him. 

MISHA AND SLASH FICTION

You may not realize this but Supernatural has been on the air for so long that it, plus its fan base, has experienced and initiated a few changes and trends.  In the space of fourteen years, filming became digitalized.  Social media, which was a fledgling thing back then, is the norm now [I have a disdain towards social media].  To put it into perspective, the child actors that played Asher, the Antichrist kid [I forget his name] and Little Lillith from the early seasons are likely in their 20s now.  Trends in entertainment changed.  Hollywood seems poised to implode upon itself, geographically, with major entertainers moving house to outlets like Netflix.  Netflix, not bound by geography, is likely to become the next Hollywood.  Slash, too, has undergone change.  And as far as SPN is concerned, that change has not been organic.  It has been by design and at the hands on Misha Collins. 

When Castiel came on board, there were already two prevalent pairings in Supernatural:  Wincest and Bobby/John.  There were other pairings.  But these were the most prevalent.   So Supernatural had slash fans already.  These fans were already aware of what slash fiction was, and they were a self-monitoring group.  They realized that the actors were aware of slash and didn't want it to be the focal point of their con appearances, because they didn't want the fans to think they were hinting at anything.  The fans understood and ever since, they have respected the actor's wishes.  When some fans liked Dean's interaction with Cas, they started shipping destiel. 

Destiel's old fans were just like all the other shippers.  They were treating destiel the way it should be treated.  Like a fantasy.  They did artwork and literature about it and kept it to themselves, as they should.  Misha never knew what slash fiction was, until he looked on Tumblr and found Destiel.  In his words, he used destiel to ''keep this gig for longer''.  He kept talking about destiel even though he was instructed not to, and pulling the LGBT into it, to make it look like destiel was about gay rights and queer art, when it isn't.  There are various kinds of destiel written by different people, from different perspectives, for different reasons.  That is true for all pairings everywhere.  By making destiel about the LGBT and waving the ''no shipping question'' rule in convention panels, he did two things. 

He turned destiel into a vehicle for LGBT activism.  Instead of being a pastime, now destiel is used to fight for LGBT representation, even though, many of the LGBT people within my own circle despise him for it.  Most of the people fighting for LGBT representation are actually quite homophobic and insulting in their thinking and logic.  And they are not even LGBT.  They are just a bunch of straight girls for whom, their fantasy has become a drug, and they wont stop until destiel becomes canon. 

He turned Jensen into the bad guy.  Misha spoke openly about slash.  Jensen chose not to.  He didn't want any part of it, and this is true about all the pairings he is a part of, not just destiel.  Because of his choice, Misha fans make negative comparisons between him and Misha, even saying that Jensen is a homophobe/biphobe because he doesn't want to talk about destiel or make it canon.  They ranted about it on social media and mass media picked up on it.  The University Of Sydney has an academic paper, under Celebrity Studies, dedicated to Jensen's supposed homophobia.  The destiel shippers are literally Jensen's reputation. 

Misha should have left slash alone.  Any fan of his will know that he overindulges the slash fans.  And the one thing that I noticed about slash fans, is that you don't give them excessive attention, or they will go completely crazy.  It doesn't matter what they slash.

Harry Styles and Liam Tomlinson learned that the hard way, because the Larry fans destroyed their friendships when they over-emphasized the fan servicing.  They did the fan servicing because Modest Management told them to, they  ended up hating their fans for what the fans became.  They have since severed ties with Modest.  Even on a day when one of them was mourning the loss of a parent, the fans who pushing the other guy so they could have a ship moment.  These two boys were very young when they entered the band.  Harry was 15 years old.  They had youthful ignorance to blame for making the decision to blindly follow the manager's instruction.  Misha cannot make any of those excuses. 

Misha got into the show at age 35.  He was already a grown man.  He was not a pivotal part of the show and therefore the only notes he was getting, was for his acting.  He wasn't being coached by anyone as to how he should engage his fans.  He was too small a fry for that.  In fact, no one was sure how long he would last on the show.  So these notes were only acting, including one telling him not to adlib his lines.  Whatever transpired between him and the destiel fans, happened because he orchestrated it. 

MISHA AND SUPERNATURAL

When Cas came on board, he was fun new character.  By the end of season 5, he had run his course on the show.  The show didn't need his character because [and as a writer I understand this] the presence of Castiel hampered the progress of the story.  Sera Gamble dealt with that frustration during her tenure as showrunner.  Cas was an angel.  If he was an ally to the boys, the boys should have a more powerful nemesis.  After all, they have an angel buddy to help them.  Unfortunately, they couldn't keep coming up with more and more powerful bad guys and negative elements, especially on a show where the biggest bad guy, the devil itself, and the worst case scenario [the apocalypse] has already been dealt with.  

During 6 and 7, they had Soulless Sam, Sam's wall, the leviathans, Metatron, the demons, Crowley, Dick Roman and even the Alphas, if I am not mistaken.  So many bad guys and bad situations, because the good guys had a powerful angel.  They could make him lose his power, so he wont be such a powerful ally.  And they did exactly that.  But Misha has very few skills to show off.  Imagine if Osric was Cas.  Even without power, he would still be able to taekwondo the stuffing out of bad guys.  He wouldn't be useless.  Cas, without his grace, didn't help the story along.  He didn't bring something extra to the story.  He was pointless.  So they made him a bad guy and for the first time in a long time, Cas was pivotal to the story.    

Eventually, she got fed up of shoehorning him into the script and just did away with the character.  But, rumor has it that Singer brought him back.  And he was welcome by the worst Q score measurement ever.  That would tell you that he was not appreciated as an actor by everyone, just his shipping and cult fans.  Since then, Cas has done nothing important in the script until recently where he made a deal for Jack.  Other than that, he has been an add on, and that is Misha's fault.  Every time Jensen and Misha did a scene, Misha would overemphasize the destiel aspect, either via social media or during his panels.  And eventually Jensen got fed up and cut the scenes short.  Basically, Misha shot himself in the foot.  The DeanCas fan service made for annoying television for people who didn't want to deal with shippy nonsense while they were watching their favorite show. 

If they didn't add anything shipping related, the hellers screamed.  If they did, the hellers screamed canon and queer baiting.  Misha's interference did that.  All he had to do was stop talking, and he couldn't do that, because his fan base will lose interest in him.  In order to keep that one group of militants, Misha isolated all other fans and potential fans. 

MISHA AND THE DESTIEL FANS

Misha's fan have sent Jensen various death threats, the receipts of which are on my blog.  A few days back, a heller was setting Jensen's picture on fire because Misha tweeted a lie that there will be a turning point for Dean and Cas in the upcoming episode.  So even though Misha was the guilty party, this psycho is punishing Jensen.  These fans have also discussed kidnapping Jared's children.  When they bully Jensen and Jared, they tag Misha in many of the tweets.  Misha randomly does Q and A sessions based on his tweets, but he has never seen a single threat and bullying remark??.....in ten years??.....really??  Nah, I am not buying that.  Frankly, I think the man just doesn't care.  Acknowledging them will mean he will have to stop them which means he will eventually have to stop peddling destiel which means he will not have an audience which means SPN will kick him right out.  The funny thing is, I think he is wrong.  He might actually have more fans if he didn't alienate them with his special brand of shippy vulgarity.  I could fill a page with all the receipts of the death threats.  And Jensen doesn't deserve that. 

I also call out destiel shippers on Tumblr so that everyone else can block the problematic ones.  Have you noticed how many names there are for the destiel pairing?  DeanCas, CasDean, DeanxCastiel and recently I discovered Dastiel.  Have you ever wondered why?  It is because they don't want you to block them.  If you filter destiel, they will use another name.  Why is that?  That is not a ship.  That's a cult.  They want to indoctrinate.  They tag destiel in other fandom names.  They are trying to create more fans for a ship.  That is why I call out specific people.  Especially the ones that tag AKF in their destiel garbage.  I have no issues with the good shippers.  I have done posts about them.  The bad ones might do something criminal one day, which is why they bother me. 

This answer, only just scratches the surface.  I am not telling you everything.  I am not telling you about Jared, Robert Berens, Kim, Briana, Travis, Sera Gamble, Ben Edlund, Ty Olsson etc.  I am just telling you the brief basics.  I hope this answers your question.  Have a nice day.  Apologies for the inevitable typos.

[this-is-rina]

Just “Networking”|| Noah Centineo Imagine

Hi everyone!  It’s been a very long time since I wrote on Tumblr and my first time writing on this blog. The last time I wrote on a personal blog was for One Direction when I was in high school (Ack!).  I did not like posting my writing to my personal and made many blogs for my writing (I wonder how many of you will recognize my style :O)  I vowed I would never write on a personal blog again...then I saw a few interviews with Noah Centineo. He has such an interesting personality for an actor and I was inspired to write a story about him. 

It’s gonna be a long one, so I’ll put it under a read more for all my fellow silent scrollers.  However, I’ll leave the synopsis up top so you know if you’re interested!

~Rina xoxo

Plot:  You are an aspiring screenwriter who currently manages a computer repair store in Hollywood with your stepbrother, Xavier, an aspiring composer.  By chance, you meet Noah Centineo in a coffee shop.  Not recognizing him at first, you think nothing about your acquaintance, until Xavier realizes that Noah could be both of your tickets to fame. Suddenly, your writing has a real chance, and that appeals to you, just a much as getting an adorable and kind boyfriend in Noah. However, you highly doubts Noah would agree.  But, what if he doesn’t know? 

You were running late...which was kind of the usual lately.  Ever since you moved out of your brother’s apartment, you had yet to come to work on time.  Xavier, who was technically your stepbrother, but you only made the distinction when you did not want to be associated with him, used it as proof that you couldn’t take care of yourself. However, you both knew that you were one of the most responsible people either of you knew, as long as you followed the schedule you programmed in your phone.

You dashed through the double doors of the computer repair shop, panting.  Xavier shook his head with a “Tsk, tsk, tsk,” as he watched you stash your stuff in the back and run behind the counter.

“You know you’re late, right?” Xavier emphasized. “So, you know what that means...”

“Oh come on!” You complained, smoothing your hair to make it more into your usual style.  “You totally came in early because you know I’m still getting used to the commute.”

“And?” Xavier questioned, “A deal is a deal, kiddo. The last person in buys everyone coffee.”

“Ugh, you only came up with that rule to spite me for moving out.” You complained.  “We should not even be wasting money on coffee when we could just make it at home.”

“Don’t forget my whip,” Xavier said as he tended to a fried PC.  That was your signal that the conversation was over.

“That’s not healthy...” You muttered as you went into the back room to fish out your wallet.  “What would your mother say?”

“That you should be on time to work!” He retorted and you rolled your eyes as you walked to the coffee shop across the street.

You and Xavier were pretty close, when you weren’t fighting over lateness.  Your dad married his mom when you were both around 13 years of age.  Both of you lost a parent young, and were only children until meeting each other. Your Brady Bunch family came together well, and you two grew closely together.  

Xavier was the first to decide he wanted to do showbiz.  He would practice piano and guitar daily, writing new tunes for his performance at the local bookstore talent show ever week.  You were more quiet about your aspirations as a writer, but he broke you out of your shell after college.  While you both studied computer science, you both also also concentrated in your passions, English Language and Music respectively.  You both moved to LA and through a series of lucky breaks and connections were able to manage a computer repair shop.  You hoped that by being in Hollywood you could hone your craft and make your dreams come true.

For now, you settled for fixing broken computers and fetching your brother’s coffee. At least you could buy a chai for yourself to relax too.

When you got to the coffee shop, it was clear that you missed the early morning rush.  You walked straight to the menu next to a guy who was several heads taller than you.  He had long, unruly brown hair, a scruffy beard and wore the baggiest t-shirt with the tightest jeans.  He glanced at you, feeling your presence and he gave you a gorgeous smile.  You gave him a coy smile back, trying not to fall for his chocolate-y brown orbs.  You cleared your throat and looked at the menu.

There was someone ahead of him who was taking awhile to order, and you could see him stealing glances at you from the corner of your eye.  You were definitely flattered.  This guy was pretty cute.  With his tan skin and athletic frame, he looked like that lovable sweetheart who would skate to your house just because he was in the neighborhood.  Whenever you would look in his direction, he always pretended to look away.  However, he would do it in an obvious manner.  He would look you directly in your eyes and then look at the ceiling, and then back to your eyes and then down at the floor. Back and forth his eyes and neck would move in this circular motion until he got a laugh out of you.

“Finally!” He cheered as you laughed, causing you to laugh more.  “I really wanted to make you laugh.  Have a great day, beautiful.” He flashed you a bright smile and then stepped up to make his order.

You couldn’t help, but blush.  It was always nice to be acknowledged by a cute guy.  You wished he stayed longer to make a move.  He finished his order and didn’t look back as he picked up his coffee from the counter.  You were bummed he did not have to wait for his drink, as you hoped you could chat some more, but settled for your bit of luck that he even noticed you.

“Hi,” You said with a smile to the cashier.  “Can I get a small chai and a medium iced mocha latte with extra whip and caramel drizzle?”

The cashier smiled.  “Is this for Xavier?” It was embarrassing how much your brother frequented this place.

You laughed, “Yup. I was late again!”  You snapped your fingers and wagged your fist, pretending to be upset.  You handed the cashier your card and he shook his head.

“That guy ahead of you paid for your order.  He had me write down his name and telephone number for you to reach out.” The cashier pulled out a slip of paper and your jaw dropped.

Noah

213-xxx-xxxx

“Wow, okay.” You weren’t sure what to say. This only happened in movies.  You made a mental note to add this to your list of romantic gestures for your next romcom screenplay.  You slipped the note into your wallet and closed it to put it back in your bag. You took the drinks and sauntered happily back to the repair shop.

Xavier was running a scan on another computer when you walked in.  You handed him his drink as you sipped yours happily.  He narrowed his eyes at you,

“Why are you humming?” He rolled his eyes. “You didn’t spit in this, right?’

“Gosh!” You huffed.  “Can’t a girl be happy and not be judged?”

“Any other girl, of course. You, no way!” Xavier laughed, “You’re always in a crappy mood when you lose bets.  Why is today any different?”

“A really cute guy bought our drinks!” You cooed.  “And he left his phone number.”

“Oh my god!” Xavier imitated your high pitch voice. Then his voice dropped back to a disinterested tone as he added, “Well that’s great, I hope he can pay for both of our rent too.”

“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” You sighed.  “I’m going to text him.”

Xavier shrugged as he focused on removing the hard drive of the computer. “Do what you want...”

You pondered what to text him and then smiled to yourself as you wrote your message.

Y/N: Hey, this is Y/N from the coffee shop.  Thanks for the free drinks! I hope to repay the favor some time soon.

It wasn’t much longer before you received a reply.

Noah: Hey, Y/N! Gorgeous name, by the way ;) Absolutely! How about tomorrow afternoon, let’s get a coffee after work?

Y/N: Works for me! 

You continued to text lightly throughout the day.  It was clear that you both had busy schedules, but you would try to continue the conversation as much as you could during breaks.  You were pleased to see how friendly and genuine he seemed.  You were impressed by his passion for acting, and relayed your love of writing.  He was supportive and encouraged you to try to get published.  You were too shy to admit that was the goal, and instead insisted that he was being too kind.

“Have you been texting that guy all day?” Xavier asked as he closed up shop.

“Yeah,” You said absentmindedly as you read the article Noah just sent you. 

“Well, make sure he’s not a serial killer.” He warned.  “Have you googled the guy?”

“I will when I go home, just chill, okay?” You shrugged it off, but you were moderately concerned.  This guy was kind, charming and a great listener. He was either perfect for you or an ax murderer...hopefully not both.

The next day, you met Noah for coffee dressed in your favorite outfit.  You waved at him as he walked in and he gave you the widest grin.  You had been texting all night and up until this morning, so when he pulled you into an embrace, it felt natural.

“Get whatever you like!” You offered.

“I’ll probably just get my usual coffee and maybe some sweets to share?” Noah smiled, “Since I only paid for drinks, I’ll contribute to the sweets as well.”

“No!” You insisted.  “My brother’s drink was also covered, so I think it is only fair.”

You argued about it for awhile until it was decided that he would buy one sweet and you would buy another and the two drinks. You tried to ignore the fact that the one sweet he bought was the same price as the two drinks combined.

“So, this is going to be really dumb...” You warned, “But I never did get your last name...”

“Oh,” Noah chuckled.  “It’s Centineo. Yours?”

“Y/L/N...” You responded as you sent the text to your brother.  Just in case he was going to kill you, you wanted Xavier to trace it back.  You were pretty sure you spelled his name wrong, but you hoped it would be enough.  You put your phone in your bag and then gave him a smile.

“Now that we have been formally introduced, let’s eat!” You said, picking up a fork and digging into the mini-cheesecake first.

You two exchanged ideas on your favorite books, popular films, and making it in Hollywood.  You were surprised at how much Noah knew about showbiz.  He said he was on a few tv shows and in a couple movies, but you did not expect him to be so wise.  It made you a bit self conscious.  You had just been working on scripts in your downtime.  Maybe you should get training by going to workshops...

“Oh man, you seem sad.” Noah pouted.  “What did I say?”

“Ah, no.” You shook your head.  “It’s not you! I just feel a little overwhelmed, maybe? You just seem so together. I’m just starting out.”

“I mean, I’m only 22.” Noah laughed.  “I’m still learning too.”

You grunted as you sipped your chai.  He was a bit younger than you. It was less than a year, but still, you felt envious.

“However...” Noah bit his lip.  “...you’re quite a distraction for me.  I realize that if I don’t get my daily dose of Y/N, I may lose track of my goals permanently.”

You coughed to hide your snort of laughter.  “Is this your way of saying you want to hang out more?”

“Absolutely.” Noah grinned at you and you returned it.  “I’m going to this pool party on Saturday.  Would you like to come? You can bring your brother and a few friends...”

“Sure,” You nodded.  “There’s a few dudes and dudettes that work part-time at the shop.  If it’s after hours, I can bring them too.”

“Yeah, it starts at like 8pm and goes to like 5 in the morning.  It’s supposed to be a dance party slash pool party slash cocktail extravaganza.” Noah laughed.  “Plus, I heard a few really cool people might be there like the cast of my last film.  It would be great to introduce you.”

“Are you sure you want a girl like me on your arm?” You teased.  

“I wouldn’t want anyone else...” Noah leaned over, lifted your hand and kissed it.

You could feel yourself swooning and knew in an instant that he were falling for him.

When you returned to the store, you were greeted by a very excited Xavier. He was almost ready to jump up and down when you entered the store.  You made a weird face as you waited for him to explain.

“That Noah guy recently got mega famous.  He was cast in two Netflix films and is basically the white hottie of Instagram.”

“Oh wow,” You nodded to yourself. “No wonder he’s so knowledgeable.”

“Y/N, don’t you know what this means?” Xavier looked like he wanted to scream.  “If you get with this guy, we’ll be in the in-crowd! This will be our big break.”

“Woah, woah, woah.” You said quickly.  “That sounds like I’m using him.  Xav, he’s a great guy. I really like him.”

“Do you not want to be published? Recognized? Rewarded? Think about the looks on our parents faces when they see that sending us to Hollywood was not for naught.” Xavier used hand gestures to show the grandiosity of his ideas.

You made a deep sigh.  “Of course, I do! I just...I really like him.”

“Even better,” Xavier said with a smile as he put his arm around you.  “Then you’re just networking...that’s all.”

“Networking...not using...is that what you’re saying?” You repeated it to yourself. “I guess...”

“That’s my girl!” Xavier snapped his fingers happily.  “Now, when do we meet him...”

You hesitated to tell him about the party on Saturday.  However, the more you thought about it, the less worried you felt.  You did have feelings for Noah, it did not hurt to take advantage of his connections.

Noah met you, Xavier and one of your other co-workers, Andrea, outside. He was in baggy swim trunks that were low enough to show his chiseled hips and impressive core.  You tried not to drool, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed by your monokini under your see-through cover up.  Noah greeted you warmly, putting an arm around you.

“Hello kiss?” He asked sweetly, making you smile.

You extended your cheek in response and he gave you a light peck.  Then he turned to your group as you introduced them.  You walked into the party, and started to see the familiar faces of the cast of To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. After Xavier told you Noah was famous, you decided to look him up, and the guest list of the party was like all of the related actors on Noah’s Google Search.

He introduced you to Lana and her boyfriend first and you were in awe of her beauty.  She was so down-to-earth, but she also had this respectable air about her.  You pointed out your brother and Andrea for her to meet as Noah pulled you to meet the rest of his friends and co-workers.

At one point, Noah pulls you to the bar and offers to get you a drink.  You pick something light, deciding not to get sloppy drunk in front of the guy you liked. He got a beer and you both turned to watch the party.  You were a bit away from the speakers which allowed you to talk a bit more. 

Suddenly, Noah pulls out his phone and reads a text message that makes his brows furrow.  He excuses himself and runs over to Lana.  She clearly looked upset and was gesturing towards you and also towards Xavier and Andrea.

Oh no... You thought as you pulled out your phone and texted Xavier.

Y/N: Tell me you didn’t do something stupid!!!!!

Xavier:  Nope! I was just talking to Lana about my music....

Y/N: She looks pissed.  You didn’t ask her for anything, right?

Xavier: Oh man...I had a few shots and I think I might have mentioned how glad I was that you’re dating up by dating Noah...

Y/N: WHAT?!

Before you could chastise Xavier further, Noah and Lana walked up to you.  

Lana spoke first.

“Can I just say I’m really disappointed?  You seem like such a nice girl, but clearly if you and your brother and his friend are here to use Noah, you are not as nice as you seem...” Lana’s lips were tight with anger.

“Stepbrother...” You said sheepishly.  “Look, I’m not proud of what Xavier said, but he means well.”

“Does he?” Lana asked. “Does he know what it’s like to grind and hope and work and pray for an opportunity only to have people try to attain the same success on your coat tails? It’s one thing to come to a function like this for that, but to toy with Noah’s heart...that is unforgivable.”

“Lana, you have every right to be upset. I’m sorry.” You looked at Noah who was looking at you sadly this whole time. “Noah, can we talk, please?”

He nodded and you apologized to Lana again before he pulled you inside of the house that was hosting the party.  He pulled you into a small bedroom after a few failed attempts at finding your own space. Clearly, the house was meant for hooking up not break-up-before-you-even-started-chats. At this point, you were crying and once you were inside the room, you struggled to compose yourself

“Noah...” You exhaled a shaky breath.  “I swear, when I contacted you I had no idea who you were.  When we talked all this week, through text and on the phone and on our dates, I was not trying to use you.  Even after I knew you were famous, I was convinced that if I really liked you, then it wouldn’t be a problem if Xavier and I tried to network.  Although it was Xavier who planted the idea in my head I need to own up to it and--”

Noah lurched forward and hugged you tightly.  You were so shocked and overwhelmed that you began to weep. He rubbed your back as you let it out before he stepped back.

“I know.” Noah nodded.  “Lana means well.  She knows how much I like you and really doesn’t want me to get hurt.  At the same time, she knows that I’m not an idiot.  If I tell her that I trust you, then she will trust you too.”

“You believe me?” You asked with a sniffle.

“Of course, Y/N.  Look, I can tell that you’re into me.  I’m into you too and I want us to continue to date.” Noah smiled, “And for the record, I am happy to support your and your brother’s dreams.  Just be honest with me! I’ll read your scripts, and if I think they are good, which I am sure they are, I’ll connect you with some people who maybe interested. Hell, I might even audition for a role or two if you’ll have me...”

“I’d love that!” You said excitedly.  “But even if you don’t do that...I want to work hard in my own right to earn being by your side.”

“You are already too good to stand by my side.” Noah grinned.  “Let’s grow together, okay?”

“Okay...” You leaned in and looked at him with sultry eyes.  “So, uh, since we’re in this private room...”

“Yeah?” Noah asked, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close.

“Well, I guess that was technically our first fight so we need to make up, right?” You suggested.

“I like where this is going.” Noah smirked.

“Then kiss me.” You said as your lips were almost at his lips.  

And he did.  He lifted you in his arms and kissed you like his life depended on it. You would reprimand Xavier and make it up to Lana later...right now, all you could think about was Noah and his soft kisses.

Fin

[gottaenjoythelittlethingzz]

@mastery-in-procrastination, who is busy doing some awesome things for the community, was kind enough to send me this ask: “How long have you been working on "The Reaper's Only Daughter"?” Tumblr ate the ask, but I was able to save my answer! I may have gone a little over broad in my explanation. Thanks for the question, now sit back and experience the journey. 

Ah yes. My origin story. I remember it like it was yesterday. Allow me to take you back, to before the beginning...

2018! For me it was the year of television (as ‘17 had been the year of the movie). I vividly remember searching for shows on IMDB to compile a sort of list in January. Some well-known, some old hat, but two in particular stuck out to me. Two my mother specifically enjoyed and had for many years. Sons of Anarchy and Shameless. I was finally at the age to where I could start enjoying these shows and so they were added to my list to be watched later. I remember reading the description of SOA and looking through pictures of tough guys on motorcycles. I knew I had to watch it!

Fast forward to May 15th. I was nearing the end of my high school/senior year. I believe I had taken all of my finals at this time and just had a few meaningless things left to turn in for one or two classes. I had just finished The Punisher (thank the godz) and was ready to start the next series. It was again between SOA and Shameless and I have never made a better or more damaging decision in my entire life than when I hit play on the pilot episode of SOA at 7 am as I was getting ready for school that Tuesday morning. Mind you, my school was a dead zone as far as internet goes, but the media godz were shinning down on me that week. I chased the signal every single day.

For the next 6 days, it was all I thought about, all I watched, all I wanted to talk about! I watched 92 episodes, roughly 70 hours of content in 6 days. Though my mother has seen it many times (as it is also her favorite series with her favorite actor(s) in it) I retold her the stories (nearly every episode, or several at a time) as I watched them. She was the first person to see me “live react” to a show in text or otherwise. She enjoyed it because she hasn’t had anyone to talk to about the show in what is now nearly 5 years and she liked hearing my takes on things. 

I stopped talking to friends, I stopped eating (not really so extreme, but I mean...), and on the last 3 nights I hardly slept. I watched it absolutely everywhere! That Friday I skipped school. I reasoned I wasn’t doing work anyway and it wasn’t going to hold me back. If my memory serves me correctly, I watched the finale of S3 through S4 and maybe a little more on either side (but for certain these 14 episodes, technically my favorite in the series) in one straight sitting. In truth, nothing was going to be able to hold me back from this show. I was hard pressed to leave my room, much less my house which made work Saturday difficult. I told my coworkers I was watching it as I jumped up and down waiting to go home (business was slow you see) and I actually left early. I have a bad habit of watching things while driving (don’t do it kids! Listen to your mother!) and actually watched an episode on the way home. 

I ended up pulling an all-nighter on Saturday trying to finish it as I had more plans Sunday. Well, it didn’t work. I fell asleep around 4 am with 4 or 5 episodes to go. I watched a few episodes to and from where I was going in the car, but on Sunday night May 20th, 2018, I watched the final two episodes of the series back to back and a weight had been lifted off my shoulders (it also left a hole in my heart, quite literally). I was no longer susceptible to spoilers and I knew the “secret”. What’s more, I completely, 100% agreed with the creator’s decision as to how and when he ended the show. 

SOA was the first show that ever captivated my attention in such a way. I was never bored, not for a minute. I wouldn’t call many of the episodes fillers even now that I’ve watched each a couple of times (too many to count, for research purposes, I assure you.) And it is one of the most consistent as far as new ideas and character development/design I have ever seen. What's more is I absolutely adore the main cast and characters alike. It honestly took over my life and has changed it for the better. So much so, that it was still all I thought about for several weeks after I finished it. To the point where I had to watch it again top to bottom, though it took me about 2 weeks while sleeping that time. I’ve never watched a show like that, before or since, no matter how much I like a series.

Alas, life goes on, there were more shows to watch, and for the next month or so I turned to watching Shameless (another story entirely) and, though I didn’t want to, I stopped thinking about SOA for a time. That was, until I started thinking about moving to college. My mother had an SOA poster that use to be in her office that she gave to me to put in my apartment. I wake up every morning to see it hanging over my bed and I am reminded that I should be writing TROD. I went down to my college apartment about a week before term started. It was the first time I was technically on my own, though I have roommates, and you will never guess what I did during that week. Go ahead, guess. I did 2 things, actually.

I rewatched SOA, though this time I stopped on series 5 (and if you’ve seen it you may know why) and I “broke down” and created a Writeblr. I’ve always loved to write and actually was in the process of shelving what was originally meant to be my first novel length WIP (on the grounds that it did not have a plot to hold the characters together) that now hasn’t been updated in 6+ months. During this third rewatch an idea came to me. “What would it be like to be in this world?” More specifically, “What would it be like to be a woman in this world”?

This was apparently the right question to ask. The rest is history, swirling into a big black and crow feathered blur. I spent a few months creating Schuyler. I slowly stopped talking about the shelved WIP online and started answering questions for her instead. I figured if I was going to shelve 1 project I had better have another to replace it with, and so TROD was born! I nearly immediately had a character personality and a title when I started. The name Schuyler and her family lineage to link her to the canon story took more time. But while I was thinking of all the technical stuff I was also imagining all the fun scenes that would take place in this imaginary novel I was picturing.

I spent so much time thinking about it, specifically the first chapter which you have seen is now available to read on this blog, that the first time I sat down to write I wrote out 5,000 words flat. Many remained in what is currently “the final draft”. This had never happened to me before and I was inspired! I have been working on it ever since. As far as physically writing for it I have only been writing TROD for about 4 months. But in actuality, TROD has been a project a long time in the making. Nearly 9 months of thought and devotion to a Fandom nearly gone, but I’m here now to carry the torch!

9 months in and I have 6 moodboards, a chapter, and far too many tag games/posts to count. I have roughly 30k words written (continuously, obsessively tweaking the first 3 chapters) and another 2k or so of notes (outlines, dialogue lines, and ideas for scenes). This is actually the first story where I’m consulting a sort of outline (my own that I’m always adding to, but also the canon story) and it’s been my best writing experience to date!

This project is going to be long. Longer than anything I’ve ever dreamed of taking on before. I still have much to explore, plot kinks to work through, and many months, if not years, of work to go. But w/o SOA I would have never become so involved in media (as now I want to make it my career), met some of my favorite actors, created my Writeblr or been inspired to continue writing, and I certainly never would have entered into this inclusive community or met so many awesome writers!

*Whew. That was a lot. But SOA and my WIP TROD means a lot to me as you can see. Thanks so much for the ask. Feel free to stop by anytime! 

I’m also going to tag @themildestofwriters as I know you may be thinking about diving into this series yourself and I want to both warn you and wish you well if you choose to do so!

And @aspire2bu, as I believe I saw you post recently about how you first got into K-pop in the first place and I found it interesting. Hopefully you’ll find this interesting too!