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reallyromealone · 1 year ago

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DAY 🎃SEVENTEEN🎃 DOUBLE PENITRATION - NAGA! Sephiroth

Warnings

Male reader, bottom male reader, two penises, egg laying, I should have made Sidon this day ffs, biting, drugging kind of?

(Name) was facinated as he walked through the shrouded jungle, the young man was on the search of a plant for his research and this forest was the prime location of this seemingly elusive plant.

"HOLY-" (Name)s foot catching on a root and before he knew it he was tumbling down a hill "damn it..." He whispered in pain as he got up, thankfully his satchel was in tact along with its contents "replacing the magnifying glass would be a pain..." He whispered as he got up and dusted himself off, he was deep within the jungle, trees high up and endless "well I didn't come here to quit.

What he wasn't expecting was sharp eyes to follow him, a twelve foot long obsidian iridescent tail slithering through the plants as the Naga watched the adventurer closely.

Sephiroth liked this human.

He would be his mate.

"Not what I'm looking for but you are a Beauty" (name) crouched before a rare flower "you beauties have seeds thankfully so I don't have to take all of you" he said pulling out a pair of scissors from his bag and clipped a plant and pressed it into his flower book, tightening the strap over it to keep it secure "there" he said pleased, he loved pleasant surprises.

But what (name) forgot is that the flower released a gas when cut that could knock out an elephant for a few hours.

The last thing he remembered was silver hair strong arms.

(Name) grunted as he woke up, candles lighting the cave he was in as he sat in a nest of sorts "what the..."

"Ah you have awoken" a voice rang out and (name) looked to see a tall man...wait "A Naga?" He went that deep to manage to get into naga territory?

"You didn't eat me?" (Name) blurted out, normally Nagas would attack then eat "why would I eat my mate?"

What.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little confused--- I'm not your mate" he said awkardly "first off I'm male and second I'm human, can't exactly be a mate"

"Humans make excellent mates, I could smell you from miles away, you are mate" Sephiroth said simply and slithered around (name) "pretty mate..."

(Name) tried not to blush at the contact "I-I can't be your mate, I'm a researcher in the village..."

"Research here, I'll help you find that plant" Sephiroth kissed his neck and (name) tried not to blush at this beautiful man-snake, the scales that framed his cheekbones and his abs... Are all Nagas this beautiful?

"O-oh!" (Name) yelped as the Naga nipped at a sensitive part of his neck "my human is sensitive..." He chuckled and (name) pouted "what's your name human?"

"(N-name)... What's yours" he said as if he didn't have a halfie in his pants "Sephiroth..." He said simply "my mate has a pretty name" the silver haired man said, telling the human pretty words to convince him.

Nagas were bigger than humans as Nagas were predators to things like cows and humans depending on the Naga clan.

"So what do you...o-oh god!" His hips bucked as the Naga palmed his pant covered cock "A-alrighty..." Who was (name) to deny getting fucked by a handsome Naga who looked at him like he was his everything?

Nagas had an ability to draw people close, not quite hypnosis but more pharamone related and was usually used for hunting but in sephiroths case it was to calm his pretty human who melted into his touch, he was so willing already.

So docile... So bendable...

Sephiroth removed the annoying fabric and (name) shivered at the cold air against his cock "already? You humans are so needy..."

Sephiroth stroked his cock, firm and slow as (name) let out small moans and pants "I haven't even mated you get and you're already undone, cute"

Sephiroths other hand tugged and played with (name)s nipple, poor (name) choking as he moved his head to give him more space to kiss and suck.

"Close..!" (Name) panted as he thrusted into Sephiroths hand to try and get some more friction "n-no!" He cried as Sephiroth removed his hand from his cock "please please!" He begged but the Naga just tutted "behave human, I will give you what you desire" his fangs scraping (name)s neck before using his tail to manover (name) who was entangled in it and his cute ass before the Naga "I'll make sure you are more than satisfied, filled with my clutch..."

(Name) was dizzy as he let the Naga do as he desired, gasping as a thick tongue circled his rim before pushing in "o-oh god..." (name) clung to the thick tail, feeling the muscles move throughout it as Sephiroth began stretching him out with his tongue, hitting every spot within (name).

"Please... Need it" (name) whispered as his body shook at each thrust, god if this is what his tongue could do Imagine..."two?" He said hazily as he saw two cocks amerge from slit "to ensure proper mating, ones for fertilizing and ones for eggs.." Sephiroth said moving (name) so his back was against Sephiroth chest "gonna fuck your tight little human hole twice to make sure.."

(Name) was hypnotized as he stared down the two twin cocks that had ridges that would hit the best spots "both.." (name) whispered "gimmie both.." (name)a eyes were dilated fully and Sephiroth looked curious "you humans are kinky little things..." He grinned and lined them up "you asked for it..."

When pushing in, (name) struggled to calm down and tears built up "do you trust me?" Sephiroth asked and (name) could barely focus as he nodded and before he knew it Sephiroth bit into his neck, pain rushing through him before his body relaxed and pleasure filled his being "hah...what...?" He said as the Naga slowly bottomed out "my venom works as a setative of sorts, you couldn't relax...so..."

"Feels good.." (name) said and yelped as Sephiroth began thrusting, slow and deep before picking up speed, the stretch delicious and both cocks hit every spot that could be hit "fuck!" He cried as he let the other fuck him like a doll, hooking his arms under the humans legs and pounding into him.

"yesyesyes!"

"M-more!"

"Please fuck! Oh god!"

(Name) moans echoed through cave and Sephiroth used his tongue to tongue fuck his mouth as the two felt themselves grow close "mh!" (Name)s body shook as he felt hard objects shoot inside him along with got semen, his own cum shooting on his chest and sephiroths tail "fuck..."

He barely remembered passing out again, letting the Naga take him deeper within the cave.

He couldn't even bring himself to be mad.

#kinktober 2023 #sephiroth x male reader #sephiroth x reader #naga #smut #final fantasy 7 x reader #final fantasy 7 x male reader #ff7 x male reader #ff7 x reader

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dirty-jammies · 2 years ago

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💕🍰 A Treat for the Prince 🍮🦈

(Prince Sidon x Chubby!Fem!Reader)

You and Sidon attend a royal banquet. You're instantly drawn to the vast array of desserts, but your lover wants to indulge in something even sweeter...

Contents: bad dessert innuendos, body worship, breast touching/sucking, oral (fem recieving), multiple orgasms, overstim, vaginal sex, double penetration (Sidon has 2 dicks), rough sex, little bit of breeding kink, uhhh and our Prince loves thicc Hylian ladies!

(Notes: Here we go! The first of (hopefully) many Sidon x reader fics from yours truly!)

As King Dorephan gave his speech, you tried your best to pay attention, though your eyes kept drifting to the large display of food on the table before you. It was a celebration banquet for the citizens of Zora's Domain, so they went all-out. Celebrating Bazz's promotion to Sergeant of the Royal Guards, welcoming the new head physician for the domain, Yona, and, of course, honouring yourself as the newly-named official consort for the Prince of the Zora.

You glanced up to Sidon, who immediately met your eyes and gave you a smile. The title of consort was simply a formality, you and Sidon were already far, far closer than that, though that was a secret just the two of you kept. The bitemarks on your shoulders from last night were proof enough of that. You hid them well under a soft cloak that complimented your silk dress beautifully. It was a sapphire blue that matched the jewels decorating the Prince's armour. The fabric hugged your soft middle in a way that made the Prince's eyes keep running up and down your lovely form. You flushed under his gaze, and gave him a look that said "Later."

King Dorephan finished his speech and the room applauded. Everyone took their seats and you followed suit, sitting next to Sidon and smiling at the bountiful feast everyone could enjoy. Naturally it featured fresh seafood, but there were also several Hylian dishes to suit your palate. You took a little of everything, making sure you'd have room to enjoy the desserts you could spy off to the side.

Sidon took your hand under the table, "Is everything to your liking, my droplet?" He spoke softly, lest anyone hear the endearing pet name.

You hummed around a forkful of salmon marinated in herbs and stambulbs, "It's magnificent, my Prince." You smiled brightly.

Sidon matched your smile, "Wonderful! I'm glad you enjoy it," he gestured to some crab cakes on his plate, "I've never had these before, they're quite good! I never knew Hylian food was so rich!"

You laughed a bit and politely wiped your mouth with a napkin, “It shouldn’t concern you, my Prince, with all the swimming you do, you can indulge for a night.”

“I’m not concerned, and you shouldn’t be either,” Sidon brushed your leg with his own and you shivered at the rough texture of his skin, he leaned down to whisper to you, “I do so love watching you indulge in the finer things in life~” he slid another helping of fish onto your plate and you flushed.

Sidon sat back in his seat, as though nothing happened, and he turned to interrupt Muzu, who was beginning to say something like “What kind of royal consort is served by the prince!?”

You kept eating, enjoying the flavours of the different types of fish mingling with vegetables and herbs. Before long, the entree plates were emptied and cleared away, and plates full of decadent-looking desserts were brought out.

Sidon hummed, looking at the treats, “Oh my, I haven’t seen any of these, either! Let’s see, y/n?” you looked up as he said your name, “Which of these would you recommend?”

You swallowed, not having seen this many desserts in one place before. You surveyed the selection before your eyes caught on a simple white ramekin. You smiled and picked it up, “I think you’d enjoy this one, my Prince!” you set it before Sidon and handed him a spoon, “It’s called crème brûlée. It’s custard with burnt sugar on top.”

Sidon looked at the dish curiously, “It’s burnt… on purpose? Intriguing,” he went to scoop some out, and he grinned when the top crust cracked, “Oh! It shattered!”

You smiled up at him as he tried a bite. You loved watching him indulge, too. He was always so worried about the Kingdom and his responsibilities, you always adored when he simply relaxed. You were very good at helping him relax, after all.

Sidon’s eyes widened, “This is simply perfect! It’s creamy and sweet, and the top is very crunchy and it has a different flavour entirely!” He hummed and looked at you, his eyes becoming half-lidded, “You know… this treat reminds me of you.”

“O-oh?” you felt your heart skip a beat at the heated look in the prince’s golden eyes, “How do you mean?”

Sidon ran his spoon through the silky custard cream, “It’s so sweet, and soft…” one of his hands squeezed your thigh through your dress, making you jump slightly. You could see his sharp teeth glint in the low candlelight as his low voice, only loud enough for you to hear, rumbled from his chest, “and so delightfully fun to break~” the spoon cracked the top of the brûlée and you felt a jolt go through your body as his claws poked into your plush thigh, no doubt leaving pinpricks in your dress.

“Is everything okay, y/n? Your face is positively red?” Sidon asked louder, feigning ignorance. You could see the cheeky, lusty look in his eyes still.

You cleared your throat, “I-I’m fine, thank you, my Prince.”

“Ah, I see the problem, you haven’t had any dessert yet,” Sidon laughed, “Go ahead, have whatever you’d like!”

You looked at the variety of the desserts still on the table, eyes being drawn to a personal-sized red velvet cake tiered with icing and wildberries. You smiled and set it in front of you, giving Sidon a coy smile of your own, “Hm, what a coincidence, this one reminds me of you.”

Sidon looked down at you after taking a sip of his drink from a tall glass flute, “Is that so, droplet?”

You licked your lips, “It’s red and rich and delicious…” you brought a forkful to your mouth and looked at your beloved through your lashes, “and I don’t know if it can all fit inside me.”

Everyone at the table turned your way as Sidon shattered the stem of his glass with the way his hand clenched. You hid your grin with a mouthful of cake, not caring about the cold liquid spilled on your lap. He covered his fluster with a cough and a laugh.

“O-oh! How clumsy of me! I spilled my drink all over y/n’s dress!” he laughed and took your hand, “It simply won’t do for my consort to be in such a state! Come, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Without another word (although with some cut-off protests from the other nobility at the table), Sidon whisked you away from the banquet and straight towards his (and your) quarters.

You giggled as he hastily locked the bedroom door behind him and fixed you with a lusty gaze.

“My naughty little minx,” he purred, caging you in against the bed, “You really know how to make me lose control.” He leaned down to capture your lips with his own and you moaned as you felt his huge hands run up your plush form, your dress bunching up at the sides, the silky fabric sliding up your body sensually, delighting the sensitive nerves of your sides and tummy. Your prince’s hands wasted no time and started feeling up your newly-exposed skin. Sidon’s tongue explored your mouth, the different flavours of caramel and berries mixing into an intoxicating sweetness.

“Sidon,” you breathed as he released your mouth, hands reaching up to undo your cloak. As the fabric fell away, the Zora let out a pleased rumble and started showering wet kisses to your shoulders and neck, “Ah, that feels so good!”

Sidon laughed roughly against your skin, “As sweet as that dessert was, I much prefer devouring you, my sweet~” He groaned as his hands dipped under your panties, getting two handfuls of your ass. You gasped as his sharp teeth grazed the tender bitemarks he left on you last night as he groped you roughly. “You drive me absolutely wild…” he panted, breath hot against your neck.

“Let me,” you put a hand on his chest and the prince pulled away just enough to let you completely pull off your blue dress, tossing it to the side. Sidon’s eyes were downright hungry as you reached behind you to unclasp your bra, leaving your top completely bare, “Come here?” you fell back on the bed, sandals coming off of your feet, and reached out to him, needing his hands on you again.

Sidon took a steadying breath and removed his cravat and armour pieces, watching you watch him with an equally greedy, needy desire. He set the pieces on his dresser and nearly launched himself at you. Your mouths met in a messy, desperate kiss, your arms around his strong neck and his hands exploring every dip and curve on your gorgeous, soft body. Your tongue ran over his teeth, and Sidon rumbled as he tasted some of your blood on his own tongue.

“So delicious,” he purred, moving down your body, trailing his long tongue down your body, leaving sucking bites all over your plush form. He lapped at your nipples, teasing the buds until they were stiff before pinching them roughly making you squeal. He grinned up at you, “Such a gorgeous reaction. I adore playing with you like this, droplet~” you squirmed in his hold, moaning in pleasure as he sucked dark marks into the soft, tender flesh of your breasts.

You were shivering in his hold, moaning into the cool air of the room. Sidon nuzzled into your belly, kissing right under your navel, once a part of your body you disliked, but that opinion swiftly changed when your lover told you how much he loved it.

Sidon held your thick thighs apart and grinned. Your face flushed hot as you realized he must be looking at your completely-sodden panties. He looked up, meeting your eyes with his own heated, golden gaze. You could see his teeth glint in his smile as he trailed his tongue up the sensitive skin where your thigh met your pelvis and he let out a rough growl as his teeth caught on the fabric of your panties, snapping the thin material and making you gasp. He repeated the action just as slowly and sensually, leaving your panties tattered and your pussy exposed.

“Mm, I love seeing you like this,” he breathed, hot breath washing over your most sensitive part and making you whimper, “This is by far my favourite treat in the world…”

Your head rolled back in the pillows and you moaned as Sidon’s thick, slippery tongue slithered up your pussy, collecting your juices and bumping into your hard little clit. You reached down and held Sidon’s head, gentle on the sensitive fins even as your mind went numb from pleasure. You struggled not to use your thighs to hold him in place, and he must have felt them quaking. Sidon groaned into you and used his hands to grope your thighs, bringing them to lock around his head. He pulled off enough to whine, “Please, please, my love! I love feeling these juicy thighs around me,” he smiled, grazing his teeth over your inner thighs, “I want you to hold me down until you cum for me~”

You cried out, thighs holding Sidon in place as he went back to work, teasing your lips and clit, with his tongue, slurping so loudly it made your face flush in embarrassment. Your prince was loud, too, letting out loud groans as he ate you, his hips grinding into the mattress beneath you. You gasped as his tongue finally slithered inside you, teasing your gummy walls and reaching deep, deep inside. You writhed in the sheets, Sidon’s hands holding your thighs around his head and keeping you where he wanted you. Your hips started grinding down on his tongue, urging it further inside. His teeth grazed your clit and your eyes rolled back, crying out as orgasm rippled through your body. Sidon moaned with you, his tongue held taught, letting you ride it through your pleasure. Your body went limp and Sidon pulled away from you. As you came down from your high, you looked at him and saw him lick his lips lewdly.

“So very delicious~” he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and straightened up, kneeling on the bed. You could see both of his cocks already starting to protrude from their slit.

You panted and readjusted yourself amongst the pillows, opening your arms, “Come here, my Prince,” you called with a lusty smile, “I want seconds.”

Sidon smiled and crawled above you, “Oh, my sweet little droplet, I’ll give you anything you desire,” he held up your hips to align with his claspers, the long, tapered, tendril-like lengths stretching up to tease over your sopping-wet lips, “do you know what I’m going to do to you, darling?”

You bit your lip and shook your head, pretending not to know exactly what he was planning. (hint: it’s the same thing he did last night, and the night before, and the previous morning…)

Sidon groaned as his hands started groping your sides again, moving you to line up his cocks with your pussy, “I’m not only going to fuck you,” the word was spoken roughly and it made your heart skip a beat. He never swore unless he was with you~ “I’m going to stuff you. I’m going to stuff you so full with my seed that you’ll be dripping with it, so full that you’ll become addicted to the feeling of being a sweet little depository for my cum.” He panted harshly, his hips grinding his cocks against you, bumping your oversensitive little clit and making you whine at the feeling and his filthy words, “Do you want that, my droplet?”

You nodded, feeling like you were losing your mind, “Yes, please! Please, Sidon, fill me up!” you panted, rocking your hips down. You cried out as just the tips breached your well-lubricated pussy.

Sidon snarled and grinned, holding your hips above the bed with his superior strength, “Get ready, darling,” He groaned as he slowly eased both cocks inside you, letting you adjust when they were halfway in, “Oh, gods, my droplet, you’re so hot inside!” he cried out.

You cried out and panted, adjusting to the twin lengths inside you. You could feel them squirming around inside you, looking for a place to hold you open as you were bred. The thought alone made you feel hotter and you nodded, needing Sidon to fulfill his promise and stuff you full.

Sidon eased his hips forward, his cocks delving as deep as they could go before they spread. You screamed and gasped as a second orgasm rocked your body. You whined and urged Sidon to keep going. The prince let out ragged breaths, letting out a rough groan as he was fully inside you, and he started pumping his hips, cocks drawing in and out, in and out, his hips smacked into your own, and he looked down at you, vision hazy with lust, as he saw your thighs, stomach, and tits jiggle with each movement, “Fuck, my droplet, my… princess! Fuck!” His eyes dilated, the gold of his irises barely visible as he lost himself to the pleasure. The lingering taste of your juices, your blood, your dessert on his tongue, the scent of you, powerful in this room from the nights you spent sleeping in the sheets, the feeling of your soft body welcoming him in, your hot, wet, tight pussy embracing his cocks and begging him to breed you, to fill you, to stuff you. It was all too much.

Sidon roared and moved, holding your legs up to your shoulders, and you could see him grin as he easily maneuvered you into a mating press. He started slamming into you, cocks flexing and reaching deeper than his tongue could, sliding against your sweet spot and teasing your cervix with every rough thrust. He leaned over you and he pounded you, hot breaths ragged against your neck as he growled more filth into your pointed ear.

“You’re mine! This body, all of this gorgeous body is all mine!

“You're so lovely, my sweet droplet! I need you, I need you so badly, all the time! I want you like this every day!

“My darling, I’m going to fill you up, you'll come un-done! Around me, and, and, unggh, I’m going to- going to-!”

You grabbed Sidon’s head and smashed your lips together, not caring how his sharp teeth cut your lips, tongues warring as he came. You gasped into his mouth at the feeling of his thick and heavy cocks unloading into you, his thick seed pouring into your womb as his chest rumbled against your own thundering heartbeat. One of Sidon’s giant hands came down and started roughly rubbing your clit, sending you over the end for the third time that evening. You whined and shuddered against him, toes curling in the sheets.

“My beautiful princess, my sweet droplet…” Sidon panted and held your cheek, “I love you so much…”

You held his hand and kissed inside his palm, “Oh, my Prince, I love you too, with all my heart…” your vision was bleary, but you could see how tender the prince’s smile was for you. Only for you.

Sidon lowered your legs and you whimpered, startling him, “Oh! Dear, I was too rough on you, wasn't I?” He looked ashamed.

You reached out and pulled him back against your chest, “No, you were perfect~” you giggled and kissed him again, sweeter this time. Sidon sighed pleasantly and licked up the dried blood on your lips.

“Everyone is probably worried about us,” Sidon said with a half-smile, “But I don't quite want to leave yet.”

You hummed, “Oh? And why is that, my Prince?” You teased and flexed around his cocks, still inside you, getting hard again.

Sidon purred and ground his hips into yours, “I don't think you're quite full yet~”

#This is self-indulgent but that's what fanfic is all about babyyy #enjoy!#sidon x reader #sidon x fem reader #sidon smut #Pajama Writes #chubby reader #plus size reader #fat reader #sidon totk #prince sidon #Sidon x reader smut

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slime-crafters · 2 years ago

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The second camp queen 🥵

He is a camp QUEEN

#tears of the kingdom #loz totk #video games #gaming #YOOOO RAAAGH #gay gay homosexual gay #fuck it sidon has two hands. one for yona and one for link #i like how she just. appears. like girl where DID you come from

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cherryblossombankai · 4 months ago

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Day 12: Double Penetration with Prince Sidon

Warnings: fem!reader, monster fucking, sidon has two dicks, anal sex, double penetration

Tag List: @pixelcafe-network, @actuallysaiyan, @sweet-chocolate-sweet, @kenpachisbrat

Wanna be on the tag list? CLICK HERE!

His hips rock gently. Alongside his thick cock, he has two fingers shoved inside you to help stretch you out. His second cock is slapping against your ass with every thrust, leaking all over your skin and throbbing with need.

“Are you ready, my love?” his voice is gentle and sweet, reassuring you that it’s okay if you’re not ready.

Early in your marriage taking only one of his cocks was nearly too much for you, but recently you’d been brave enough to suggest trying to take both. You wanted to be good for him, to help him achieve maximum pleasure.

“I-I’m ready,” you look over your shoulder at him.

He leans down to kiss you softly on the cheek. He pulls his fingers from your tight warmth to replace them with his cock. He pushes it in carefully alongside the first one. You whimper at the stretch of having both of his cocks inside of you. It feels like the first time all over again. You’re panting and your walls are tightening around him.

He feels you tense up. The squeeze is so tight it borders on pain for him. He places his hands on your hips, trying to still your trembling.

“Please relax, love,” he pants softly. “It’s too tight.”

After a few deep breaths, you acclimate to the stretch of him. His thrusts are slow and deliberate. He wants you to enjoy this as much as he does. Perhaps even more if it can be achieved.

“F-fuck,” you moan in pleasure. Every thrust has him rubbing against your sweet spot.

“I won’t last much longer,” he warns you. The clenching of your walls around both of his throbbing cocks is almost too much already. His balls are drawing up in anticipation of his release.

“Sidon,” you whine. You push your ass back against him, allowing him to go deeper still. You can feel the bulging of your stomach from his size.

Your knuckles turn white from clinging to the bed sheets as you cum. Above you, Sidon is panting and growling. He plunges deep into you once more before going still, his cocks twitching with every shot of cum released into your waiting depths.

As he pulls out of you, he watches his seed leak out of you in thick globs. He shudders, feeling a heat of arousal in his core.

“You did wonderfully, my love,” he says as he guides you to lay down, to rest after exerting so much effort.

#🌸.writes #🎃.kinktober2024 #🎃.kinktober #prince sidon x reader #sidon x reader #sidon loz x reader #prince sidon #sidon totk

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littlefreakelio · 2 years ago

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Sidlink headcanons bc i am unwell about them

- the first time Link sounds out Sidon's name Sidon tears up 😁👍

- Link is very bad at receiving compliments. Sidon is very good at giving compliments and turning Link into a Mess

- Muzu shaking his fists when he realise not one but BOTH of King Dorephan's kids...he can't help but grow to like Link too tho bc Link is the domain's errand person 🫡

- matching body jewelry sets (sidon's is opal & luminous stones and he had one ruby & luminous set made for link because it matches his scales....)

- over time they develop certain signs for Link to communicate ideas and the most used one has to be "are you alright/safe?"

- Link adopts Royal Guard Mode when he's out with Sidon out of instinct...Sidon finds it adorable but also "Link I can't see you if you walk behind me please I just want to hold your hand"

- they go swimming together all the time with Link on Sidon's back

anyways two dumbos in love.......

#sidlink #botw #totk #sidon #link #headcanons #hc #mine

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randomguy0ntumbir · 6 months ago

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Reasons the Tears of the Kingdom Zora Quest is hands down the best of the four "Regional Phenomena" quests (moderate spoilers):

-Sidon

-the Zora's domain is gorgeous

-the sludge is genuinely annoying and makes you want to get rid of it

-the whole quest is an multi-layered, befuddling puzzle that takes time and head-scratching to figure out

-the childrens' game is very funny

-the "missing" tablet piece being like four feet away from the rest is very funny

-the Sludge Like that appears at one point being titled "The Ambusher of Mipha's Court" is very funny

-Sidon

-swimming up a waterfall and flying out the top wheeeeeee

-the sky fish literally being just a regular island shaped like a fish is very funny

-Dorephan's hideout being behind a waterfall, the most cliche videogame trope, somehow works because

-A. the Zora domain having like 20 waterfalls makes you either not register to check them or get bored after the 5th one

-B. the Zora armour makes you not realise that there might be something behind waterfalls because you now expect their gameplay purpose to be wheeeeeee

-it's already funny how short Link is but seeing him next to Sidon is just that much more funny

-I swear the quest has a lot more cutscenes and setpieces than the other ones

-Sidon

-the water temple being in the sky makes no fucking sense and yet it does

-the journey to and the water temple being isolated in the sky makes it feel more like a Prominent Location and less like just another point of interest

-the trek to the water temple is long and complex and obtuse and has many enemies and is dramatic as fuck

-low gravity wheeeeeee

-the water temple is gorgeous

-the water temple's puzzles feel more like puzzles and less like "find seven things" (looking at you, fire and wind temples)

-the water temple's two left puzzles fking rock

-SIDON LITERALLY PROPOSES TO LINK

-Sidon's ability in combat is somewhat more nuanced than "big rock man go boom" or "big lightning lady go boom"

-Sidon's regular weapon is a spear, giving him both speed, range, defense, and utility

-Sidon's wink face is peak character design

-everyone in the kingdom coming to see Sidon's coronation and it's like 20 people is very funny

-Sidon actually figured out that Zelda is in to the past and the current one is an identity thief, unlike most other sages

-Sidon

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lastoneout · 1 year ago

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I do think he'll pick Sidon tho, bcs once when he was replaying BotW he had reached the point RIGHT before you trigger the first cutscene with Sidon but it was late so he put the switch into sleep mode and went to bed and then work, looking forward to seeing his fish boyfriend when he got home, but this was back when we had one switch and I wanted to play something, and I didn't realize that's where he'd paused, so when I turned it back on it immediately played the cutscene and I panicked and couldn't put it back to sleep fast enough to stop it.

When he found out he was lowkey devestated. I still feel bad for doing that. So yeah my fiance has two great loves of his life, one is me and one is Sidon. I don't mind sharing tho.

Can i ask why that poll would kill your fiancé??

Because he has a massive bisexual crush on both Sidon and Kass.

#I encourage him tbh #we make each other more bisexual like a bi feedback loop #and when speaking to him I almost always refer to Sidon as “your buff fish boyfriend”#he also doesn't mind sharing Sidon with Yona tbh #Sidon has two hands and a heart big enough for several romantic partners #actually sorry he has two big buff fish boyfriends #he loves Jimbe One Piece also

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the-moon-files · 8 months ago

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Aaaaa, hi!! I'm the anon who sent in the fairly recent ask with the Guide!Reader ideas (martial artist mention, Dehydrated Ganon, strength possibilities, Ganon not being able to escape from Guide!Reader's voice, etc)! I'm really glad that you liked my ideas so much!! 😊 I was so pleasantly surprised to see you expand on my discombobulated thoughts, haha! Thank you so much! ^w^ I loved reading them!!

I said that I made memes for the Guide!Reader/Space Orc concept, and now I shall deliver them >:D Firstly, I'm super sorry that I took so long to share these with you!! Life decided to kick me in the shins for a hot second 😭 And secondly, I made a LOT of images for this one,, Fair warning, this is going to take up a lot of space 😭 orz

But anyway!! Here are the text memes first:

Guide!Reader: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Wars: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Guide!Reader: Not when you’re playing with Zelda, it’s not. She’s out here putting in words like “ephemeral” while I’m putting in “dog.”

☆

Guide!Reader: *pointing out Magic Powder* Legend, look, it’s the good kush!

Legend: …This is the Rupee Store, how good can it be?

☆

Ravio: Hi, welcome! Are you part of our Super Savers Shoppers Club?

Guide!Reader: No, I’m not.

Ravio: :D :) :| Oh.

☆

Legend, looking into a banged-up Water Temple: …It’s trash.

☆

Time, whenever Guide!Reader uses modern slang: We need IRL subtitles. What are you even saying.

☆

Guide!Reader: My Furby died in my arms when I was a child.

Hyrule, has no clue what a Furby is: I’m so sorry for your loss.

Guide!Reader: It wasn’t a loss. I had never felt more like a god.

☆

The Chain: *getting told off by Time*

Guide!Reader in the back: …

Guide!Reader: *starts playing the ukulele* 👁👄👁 🎸

Time: 🧍

☆

Four, talking about Guide!Reader: So, I’m interested in someone…

Dot: :D Oooh! What do they look like?

Four: *slow realisation*

Four: I don’t know

Dot: Wh

Dot: What do you mean you don’t know?

☆

Guide!Reader/Ganon, about hearing Guide!Reader every dang game: The universe has a sense of humour, and I respect the commitment to the bit, but girl please.

☆

Guide!Reader, to Link once they reunite with the Chain: Now… *puts hand on his shoulder* We’re back on our bullsh*t.

☆

Guide!Reader and Wild, meeting Sidon for the first time:

Guide!Reader: …Would.

Wild: Would what?

Guide!Reader:

Wild: (Name)? Would what?

☆

Wind: When you become famous you’re called a legend because your leg ends.

Guide!Reader: What?

Wind: Your leg. It ends.

Guide!Reader: I’m not a linguist, but I think you’ve got it wrong.

Wind: Are you saying your leg doesn’t end?

Guide!Reader: I mean, at some point it does, yes.

Wind: Then what’s the problem?

☆

The Chain, waking up at dawn to get ready:

Guide!Reader and Sky, just trying to process being alive:

☆

Guide!Reader/Time: You need to get out of bed faster than this.

Sky, struggling: I’m giving it all he’s got, boss

☆

Guide!Reader at Ganon: Your anger amuses me. Please don’t find inner peace. Please.

☆

Guide!Reader, playing through LoZ game: *at an annoying NPC* Let me ask you a very fair question. What do you do successfully? Quickly. :|

Link, trying not to laugh:

☆

Hyrule, probably: I hate it when a recipe tells me to add two cups of onions. They don’t come in cups. They come in onions.

Guide!Reader, head in hands: Please

☆

Hyrule/Twilight, looking at two NPCs: Are they lovers?

Guide!Reader, who knows the lore: Worse.

☆

The Chain, enjoying Guide!Reader’s affections:

Legend: 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

☆

Legend, defending himself from the “You like him” allegations from Wind: 🤸🤸🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

And now, onto the images- I hope you don't think the sheer amount of these memes is too excessive or anything!! 😭 /gen

Aaa and that's all the memes I've got! I hope you like them,,! orz

I'm also still pretty new to Tumblr, so I'm sorry if the format looks a bit weird,,

Oh, but also?? That last point you mentioned in your most recent post about the cultural differences between humans and Hylians on physical affection/touch?? I am VERY excited to see that,, 👀 👉👈

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW IN LOVE W/UR BRAIN I AM RN

IM SO FUCKING ECSTATIC TO SEE THESE >>> ANYTHING IVE EVER WRITTEN U MADE MEMES??? FOR MY BS?????? DAOHGHOAKJSALKGFS;NDFKNDNFKJBDBFLN;

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BLESS YOU, BEHEAMOTH SCREAMOTH MY BELOVED <3333

HAVE THAT HYLIANS V. HUMANS AFFECTION CULTURE POST HERE, THE ONLY PAYMENT I CAN THINK OF FOR THIS 😩😩 🛐 🛐 🛐

I LIED ITS TOO LONG, ITS GONNA BE A SEPERATE POST COME BACK AND PLS READ IT AS PAYMENT (but dont read the nsft/w if ur a minor)

BRO u got all the energy, and the dynamics i was pushing ilysm 🥺🫶

like the Hyrule = beloved agenda ive been pushing, bc i need more underrep links content, the way u carried the ganon eternally getting haunted by guide reader voice?? 10/10 ahdsfkhadl

AND WIND’S CONSTANT ENERGY OF A YOUNGER BROTHER LOOKIN U DEAD IN THE EYE LIKE “u kiss the homie (singular not even plural) goodnight?? Brother, that’s GAEY.”

u have no idea what this means to me, the impact, the understanding u have to have of my bs to make these, and how many posts youve read of mine?? im so sorry for ur loss w/my rough writing lmao

thats how you know youve made it tbh is if someone makes memes of smth u made, anyway day brightened, complexion clear, depression medicated, by this post

I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF UR PILLOW ARE COLD, UR PETS CUDDLE U EXTRA, U GET ALL THE GRADES/GOOD WORK SHIFTS U NEED

Peace out my beloved <3,

🌙

#u know u made it when the memes come #i feel legit honored #like #id like to thank my hands for typing for me #my brain for finally cooperating #and my adhd for being managed by a pomodoro timer #linked universe x reader #lu x reader #linked universe reader #lu x male reader #male reader #link x reader #loz link x reader #linked universe male reader #moon chats #starry submissions #my tag for when ppl give me incredible gifts <33 🥺🥺

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