#but like idk how the tumblr would like stuff like this :'>
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Yems, it's really a mess sometimes, and honestly it's partially my fault, idk why I'm so compelled to call out misinformation, I just really despise pseudoscience and fearmongering, and I didn't expect these people to jump to telling me to kill myself, however! I'm slowly filtering them out of my dash, but tumblr does still shove em at me sometimes It's just wild, some of these, there are some that still circulate, that one talking about how the fact we see sex as binary is hurting intersex people and that because of that we need to change what trans means and just like
Hey science hasn't considered sex binary for years, these people are really out here fighting ghosts, and they just get more and more and more radicalized into believing that anyone outside of their subcommunity within the larger communtiy is out to get them, including said larger community, that everyone hates them and invalidates them, going as far to say stuff like trans women would say that trans men's voice dysphoria is invalidate which is insane, it's the same dysphoria, they both get it, idk it's dumb Or the post that apparently all of american pop culture is designed specifically to hurt intersex people These demographics face real issues but holy shit this ain't it
this website is increasingly going down the shitter as it becomes more and more openly transparent that if you hold beliefs that go against the zeitgeist of the average white liberal fandom blogger you are just straight up at risk of having your entire account permanently nuked. the thinnest skinned people on the planet have made this place their home and would honestly rather there was not a single person outside of their exact demographic posting here if it meant they never had to see anything that caused them a single second of discomfort. digital redlining. and yet there is fucking nowhere else to post! so who knows what to do really
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Different fashions reddit user say is the same thing and why they are not
i cant believe this is a post i am making lol but ima clear up how these reddit users r wrong lol (pls dont harass anyone this is just for educational purposes)
Dark girly vs Jirai
Dark girly kei is a fashion that predates jirai (jirai is a lifestyle!!!) The only reason Girly kei is associated with jirai is cuz the girly kei style is what was trending when jirai became a thing. i go more in depth about jirai here
with the next sections i do not know as much sadly but i shall use the knowledge i do have and please feel to jump in!
Cutecore vs Jojifuku
cutecore 1 2
jojifuku 1 2
As we can see there is a lot of overlap. Cutecore is a style that emerged around 2020 (🩷) meanwhile jojifuku is from the 2010s (🩷)
Cutecore often has themes of spookier stuff (not always tho!!!)
Jojifuku (女児服) translates to girls clothing. the look of it is to look like youre wearing kids clothes.
(again i dont know much about these styles so feel free to correct me!)
Coquette vs Hime kei
Honestly I dont know what they are really talking about here lol. Hime gyaru? Hime lolita? Himekaji? So ill show how each one is different form one another
Coquette 1 2
Hime gyaru 1 2
Hime lolita 1 2
Himekaji 1 2
Coquette is a style thats super popular on this app (tumblr) and imo its recently gotten pretty popular. meanwhile ive seen styles like himekaji dwindle in popularity (at least from what ive seen) i think its pretty obvious to see the difference with just pictures so i wont go into a lot of detail (unless you would like me to)
yes all styles of similarities but they also have noticeable differences. Some similarities include 1. all being a more feminine style 2. all often having pink colours 3. all are fashions (and more) But some differences include 1. where/when they originate 2. the silhouette/certain parts of the look 3. the popularity (and more)
Kidcore vs Decora
kidcore 1 2
Decora 1 2
Kidcore as the name states is a more "childish" style. Its very colourful and gives off nostalgic vibes.
Decora is a style that is about decorations/accessories. You cant have a decora fit without them.
Cottagecore vs Mori kei
Cottagecore 1 2
Mori kei 1 2
I dont even know where they got the idea these were the same thing lol
Cottagecore is based around wildlife, farming, cottages, nature. it has a "rural and pioneer" vibe
Mori kei is is more earthy. The best way i can think to describe the difference without rambling is cottagecore is the ppl living in the forest and mori kei is the forest? idk lol.
Rococo vs Lolita
if anything its flipped. Rococo inspired lolita. Also there is so many different types of lolita. sigh.
If you take anything from this I hope its to do your research. And not just listen to the voices you agree with. Listen to the history. Listen to the people who know what they are talking about. Pls lmk if I can explain anything better and feel free to add on! have a good day! (also i am just one source pls go do ur own research!!/nf)
#reddit being dumb#jfashion#fashion#j fashion#lolita fashion#decora fashion#gyaru fashion#gyaru#girly kei#info#information#fashion info#long post#good to know#coquette#hime lolita#mori kei#cottagecore#decora#kidcore#hime gyaru#himekaji#cutecore#jojifuku#jirai#jiraiblogging#dark girly kei
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i realized they had the same birthday (dec 21st) so i was like "yoooo i should draw them together"
silly bonus:
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#utau#utauloid fanart#utau fanart#根音ネネ#nene nene#nene nene utau#oliver vocaloid#oliver vocatone#oliver maghni ai#i guess??? because that's his maghni ai design? chose it for fun and for color/composition purposes ig (slightly more yellow? and details)#don't know how to tag this... and since yuki only appears in the bonus doodle idk if i should really tag her#i don't actually know if oliver would be scared of nene or not aksjhgk that little guy doesnt seem scared by most things#but i just thought it would make for a funny side doodle so thats why its there lol#potential successor to the kagamines/iku doodle? in a way maybe... i should find more vsynths that share bdays and draw them together#fun fun fun... ofc its not the exact same day and year like tho iku and the kagamines tho (which is crazy); nene came out in 2009#but ya. showing penance in some way because i was too depressed to draw anything for oliver's bday last year lmao 😭 im sorry my boy#i mean i did do that shitty short meme video which i almost completely forgot abt but that doesnt counttt im talking art piece#this piece was gonna look way more different originally but i couldn't get it to look right so i went for something simpler#cause i was running out of time... and also experimented a little since this one's weird in that i did the colors first rather than lines#then did lines based on the colors and cleaned up the coloring after. and i was gonna add some more stuff to bg but got tired rip#so yeah maybe its a bit simple for my liking but im too tired to redo this again. i had to resize it bc i accidentally made og file huge#and it just wouldnt upload to tumblr lmaoo so apologies if the quality got crunched#IVE BEEN WAITING ALL FUCKING DAY TO POST THIS AND THE OTHER SHIT HAHAHAHEH... i couldve scheduled them but NOOo... oliver day
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I STAND by this (btw i wrote this 23 military time so it might be messy and a bit crazy, i don’t have sources but.. most of the proof i got has been talked about on Tumblr, i’m not someone who thinks about this stuff without some sort of base. Unless it’s something i really wanna think about.)
I love Snape, he’s so intriguing and the only character i can properly relate to. I get what it feels to make bad choices that other people never forget. I feel like Snape is the perfect morally grey character that all us 2 thousand mistakes losers can relate to.
I hate how the marauder fandom hate Snape cause he’s mean to children and is “ugly”.. Like my guy is literally a rockstar with how he’s described!! HES NEVER EVEN CALLED UGLY. And then these curtain lovers (yes that was a Stranger things ref, link at bottom) Stan and bow down to characters with half a page of info! Don’t get me wrong, i love Eileen Prince (which i don’t see enough of) and Regulus black, all of that sort. But come on man… Barty jr is not an angel compared to Snape! Thats a canon fact, he’s a cold blooded murderer. Snape feels remorse! For Lily OR not, it wouldn’t matter cause the same was with Regulus. He betrayed Tom for his house elf, not muggleborns. Snape betrayed for his MUGGLEBORN childhood friend. Pretty similar huh?
Just because Snape is weird and had unrequited feelings who he never forgot doesn’t mean he’s a creep?? Also saying Snape would touch Harry like THAT if he looked like his mother is HELLA icky. Don’t take traumatized characters with flaws and make them worse. People who have been in Snape’s situation will feel like shit. If i hear one more person saying that crap I’m gonna go insane. Because it connects to a much worse problem in real life. Curtain lovers (i cant find a better name, its just so broad) have always blamed the “Losers” for unordinary or bad situations, stuff that doesn’t fit well. Or stuff the Curtain lovers messed up on. An example would be the past belief that witches lived among us. Now, i don’t want to bring real life situations into this, but hey, at least I’m not saying that Death eaters ARE the Nazi’s…
“Witches” consisted of people the curtain loving in command people (i would say government but idk if it was called that back then, oh well. I’ll just say curtain lovers) found a threat. People that were out of the ordinary. People that thought differently, that were WEIRD and easy to miss-understand. The curtain lovers would blame misfortunes on witches. Uncle Sam’s crops died? Sweetie call the priest cause it’s another darn witch! Oh I’m sorry Rebecca? You like books? As a woman?? I need to call the priest you filthy witch!
I know this might be a bit too deep for some god darn children books but saying Snape would SA Lily is such a dirty way to say you hate a character that you don’t even try to understand. It really dives into what type of person you are.
Also, hating Snape for being weird is SOO hypocritical. I mean, have you seen the other Harry Potter fans? Eughh.. I don’t even wanna think about the Tom Felton fans 🤢. That poor guy.
My point is that undermining a character is the least diverse thing you could do.
And the thing og blog said about Snape looking Jewish really adds to it. People really pick and take favorites. Leaving others to rot.
Hope you like this text. I might make a more proper argument in the future, its too darn late rn.
Marauders fans just be having double standards on the point they proud themselves the most on: Diversity
They be like "let's make James brown" (ik that it's in the whole fandom in general but ykwim) and reject the Jewish-looking guy
They be like "let's make Lily obese" and reject the underweight guy
They be like "let's make Regulus abused" and reject the canonically abused guy
They be like "let's make Regulus get groomed into joining the DEs" and reject the canonically groomed guy
They be like "let's make Barty's actions look right by saying it was for love" and reject the guy who did everything for the girl he loved (platonically or not)
Double standards, double standards everywhere.
Diversity only exists if Snape is not involved
#harry potter#snape defense#im serious#dead serious#and no i dont mean Black#lmaooo#long text#i think
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UH- UM- MY HAND SLIPPED-
Tw// suggestive material
#was reaallllyyy debating if i should post this one here#so im doing so when its hopefully quiet#its just a super quick 20 minute warm up doodle#but like idk how the tumblr would like stuff like this :'>#all my rise friends you didnt see this-#i have no shame-#HEHEHE ANYWAY I LOB THEM :D <3#tw // suggestive#?#just to be safe yk?#tryna think about others#HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY EVENING <3#MWAH!#tribbletalks#tribbleart#huskerdust#angel dust#husk#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin fanart
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ghanaian miku
#zeno's art#hatsune miku#vocaloid#vocal synths#ghana#theres a trend on twitter where you draw miku as from your country#and i dont think anyone's done ghana yet!!!#her outfit is inspired by fashion + fabrics that my mother would wear and also stuff i found on pinterest#ghana kind of has a gold fixation lol so theres lots of gold#and the drink she's holding is supermalt. idk if its actually ghanaian but i know that ghanaians love it#(its very yummy btw idk how to explain the taste cuz i havent had it in a while but you should drink it if you ever come across it)#ok tumblr gets this early#ill post at like 4pm for twitter
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smallidarity highschool au
came up with this au like actually 2 years ago where it's mainly empires 2 smallidarity centric, with Jimmy as a student council member and Joel as an honours student who doesn't like the way Jimmy runs things around the school.
As payback for the regulations Jimmy put up that Joel thought was stupid, Joel does these elaborate 'The Office' style pranks on Jimmy (specifically) while Jimmy retaliates by trying his best to dig up dirt on Joel. This banter goes on for a while— however Joel ends up doing the pranks less as a statement, and instead more just to see how Jimmy would react... with his comical, cartoony villain yells, and... weirdly cute face....? (YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI)
very very old au drawings below:
from July 2023
😭😭 joel does NOT look like a highschooler here 😭😭😭😭 (i also wanted to draw angst in the first two ig idk a year later it's pretty cringe [i am still cringe]) (also partially inspired by when I read "Go for it, Nakamura!" and the mc reminded me of joel for no actual reason. or maybe i was just thinking about that manga while drawing smallidarity. idk)
from November 2022:
I think these doodles were genuinely the first instance of me converting from being against mcyt shipping to for shipping LMAOO
#smallidarity#my art#empiresshipping#finally writing out this au GOSH it's been in my head for so long#despite that I'm still not very sure about the au plot-wise ? 😭#like idk if i want canary curse limited life angst or not#(eg. Grian is the occult club president and Grian warns Joel about Jimmy's forboding demise#or to keep this au romance drama? without any fantasy stuff yk?#this was my first time making an au idk how else it goes lmao 😭#anyways hopefully day 2 of posting daily ✌️#smallidarity highschool au#<- I POSTED OTHER STUFF ON THIS AU BEFORE PLS CHECK IT OUT MAYBE#also btw this is separate from that highschool isekai harem anime posting i drew a few months ago#extra thoughts: 'solidarity' and 'smallishbeans' are nicknames they got for themselved#'Solidarity' (probably) comes from Jimmy's campaigning for Student Council President (which he's tried for and failed many times)#and 'Smallishbeans' comes from a running gag between Joel Lizzie and Oli from a bit he did when they where kids#where he would act like a 2010's millenial tumblr girl and call himself a 'smol bean'#smallidarity daily#day 2
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I told you that I'm not going to fight with you.
You keep saying that my emails are posted verbatim, and yes, they are, but with your commentary on them, interpreting me saying "I'm confused" and "I'm baffled" and "I'm not in the habit of sending people things they don't order" as me saying "you're stupid." This response makes me quite certain that you are, indeed, just looking to make bad faith arguments - you must be aware that this is what I'm referring to when I talk about projection and adding words I didn't say. I'm well aware that my emails are posted verbatim. I know what I said.
The high irony of snarking at me about disability & then assuming someone whose header says he's autistic is being a big meanie and not ... you know... super precise and meaning only exactly what he actually says... that's not lost on me. But. I don't hold you responsible for that, even though that's information about me that you had very easy access to. I get that people are often not very careful about these things when they're as angry as you seem to be.
That said, I'm not going to apologize that your friend didn't understand how one of the most common sales in the world works? That is not actually something I'm responsible for in this situation. Yes, you have to put something in your cart to receive it. You have to check out with it to tell the company you want to get it. That's how buying things works. Do you pick up one can and go to the front of the store and assume someone will just put a random second can in your cart if the grocery store says "buy one can of vegetables and get a second can from this selection free"? Or do you pick up the second can and put it in your cart? Like. I'm truly, deeply baffled by this argument. This seems like pretty basic "dealing with the world" shit to me, but as I said, I'll be sure to put a note in future emails saying, "You have to actually pick out the second item." That still does not make me responsible for explaining basic e-commerce; that's just me saying I'll do people a favor and explain more than has ever been necessary before now.
The difference between the conversation I'm having and the one you're having is that you seem to think there's a problem that still needs to be solved by me. There is not. Your friend made a purchase from me and got exactly what they ordered. I'm not going to spend more money than I made on the transaction to send them a free product because they expected to receive something they did not actually ever order. If I had made the mistake, I would feel obliged to go into the negative on the transaction to fix it, and I have, many times, and will again.
You can try to make as many snide comments as you want about assuming that this is how I handle everything, but that still doesn't change that your friend placed an order with my shop & received exactly what was on the order they placed. There is no error here on our part, and no amount of trying to blame our site or me or anybody else is going to change the fact that an order was placed and an order was received as placed. Your friend even helpfully sent me a picture of what they received - and it's exactly what they actually ordered.
And if this was some sort of white-knight attempt to, like, resolve stuff for your friend, IDK, maybe don't lunge to Tumblr with a bunch of nastily annotated emails in the middle of the night & without me actually ever seeing or responding to the emails you seem to think are most damning. You keep acting in incredibly bad faith and then reacting with shock when that doesn't get you what you seem to want. I'm not going to fight with you, and all of this isn't going to get you anything but this thread muted.
So... yeah. I mean. You can try and fight with me, but there's nothing to fight about here, so.
Reminder to all: don't fight with this person. This is where I end this conversation.
Couple weeks ago my friend sent me a link to @vaspider shop with their promotion for a buy one get one free on hot/cold packs:
Razz loves to spread the word about shops they buy from, especially small businesses or shops owned and operated by queer people. I did not need a popcorn scented heat pack, so I did not buy anything, but they did.
Tonight I got these messages: 

Emails, you say? Let’s see…
I just want you guys to know that this last line, “after this interaction I can no longer in good conscience promote your work or buy from you,” is akin to burning your crops and salting your fields coming from Razz. They are the most polite person I know. They do not want to stir up trouble. Part of it is because, as a blind person, they have had to learn to be non-confrontational in order to protect themselves, but it’s also because Razz is just genuinely a kind hearted and understanding person.
They live off of disability and occasional commissions, but they use what little money they have to support small businesses and independent artists because they appreciate the quality as well as the work that goes into each item. You can see here that Raz was trying to figure out if it was a genuine misunderstanding on their part because they hadn’t read the site correctly.
They were not able to read the site correctly because they’re blind.
This isn’t really about a misunderstanding, or Razz wanting to get the other item. It’s about Vaspider immediately treating them with contempt when Razz sent an email asking what had gone wrong. Is it the businesses responsibility to eat the cost of shipping due to someone not being able to understand the terms of the sale? It’s certainly good business practice, but I think Razz would have understood if they had been told that it would cost the store too much for another item to be sent if Vaspider hadn’t been such an asshole about it.
Razz is, unfortunately, used to disappointment. They are used to having to struggle to navigate websites that are not made with people like them in mind. They are even, at this point, used to having to lose money on things due to brain damage suffered from being forced into a botched medical procedure last year. But that isn’t how they opened this conversation. They opened with, “I think something may have gone wrong, can you help me understand what happened? “
The way Vaspider treated my friend is disgusting. I hope that those of you reading this will take Vaspiders behavior in this exchange into account when you’re deciding where to spend your money. The next time that you see one of their posts, a link to their store, or receive an email about a sale, I hope that you remember these emails and recall how Vaspider treats people that they don’t think are important. I want you to think about whether the group of people that Vaspider considers to be worthless might include you. 
I know that there are a lot of people willing to come to Vaspiders defense because they’re well-known and popular. They are so well-known and popular that they’re willing to treat one of their customers like garbage over $10 in shipping, and they’re willing to do it right out in the open for everyone to see.
Happy holidays, and eat a big old bag of dicks. 
Let’s fucking go.
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Small indie artists in need of support for moving out by September!
💜 These lovely folks [@QuinsCurse (they/them) & @sswitchblade03 (xe/xem and he/him)] are part of a small queer-owned Youtube community I'm in. 💖
💖 If you could lend a helping hand by reblogging & queueing this post up until the start of September, I'd greatly appreciate it & I'm sure these fine folks would too! 💜
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"Hi everyone! Requests are officially closed as I am opening emergency commissions! Please consider supporting me as we are getting kicked out and have managed to find a place that’s affordable but need to save up 5k by the end of the month! Anything helps! I also have a dontations page if you are willing to help do that! All the money received from commissions will be going to the deposit! https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/commissions https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/goal?g=32"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/commissions https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/goal?g=0 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!! My roommate @QuinsCurseand I are needing about $5000CAD for a down payment on a new place as we need to be out of our current place by September! Every bit counts! My goal is to be set to $3000CAD. I will draw anything (coloured and rendered) for $5 CAD each! If you are willing to give more it will be appreciated. Examples of my work below!"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
#I tried to replicate the youtube posts to the best of my ability#text is in alt descriptions as well as the post itself because idk how to navigate tumblr in this way for these uses#couldn't get the images from yt itself without it messing up the formatting so hope this is good enough <3#I just went to one of the pages itself to find the closest possible images I could that looked like the ones on the original post#highlighted the links on the 2nd part though to make it easier to find the links in the post#the pronouns listed are accurate as of time of posting for those who see this post in the future; just so you're aware; go check if you wan#I have on idea what mutual aid tags are okay in our increasingly worsening internet of 2024 so I'm just gonna not tag it & queue a bunch#I just said I would post it; idk currency conversion or anything of that sort; this is my first time doing something like this so apologies#if it's not up to par with expectations#mine#op#indie artist#yknow what for the sake of not having people block my post tags; ill add a unique tag for this sort of thing#roses campaigns#FILTER THIS PREVIOUS TAG IF YOU FEEL IT NECESSARY; ill try to remember to use it when stuff like this comes up
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staff logging on to tumblr dot com today
#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site#changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too#this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus#if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear#if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine#the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money#someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont#tumblr staff#EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but#that doesnt stop the post from being stupid#the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase#if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything'#staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did#so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post#edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post#they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us#i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded#and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money#tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol#ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years#but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one
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Thoughts on Lycion's identity, species, gender. (CW: mentions of internalized transphobia)
as someone who is trans and has species dysphoria (and whose transness is intrinsically linked to species dysphoria, the human female form being too exaggeratedly human to feel comfortable in) it feels a bit odd when people exclusively discuss Lycion's body dysmorphia as exclusively a trans allegory (which is a perfectly reasonable read! but it can be more than that...) seemingly without much awareness that people who are like him, and especially trans people who are like him in a more literal sense exist... So I figure, as one of those people, I might give some observations on Lycion, along with some anecdotes of my own experience and how it parallels it, how his characterization reflects real-world struggles- both literally and as a trans narrative, and why I appreciate characters like him so much.
What is fascinating (but also so relatable!) to me, both when viewed in a literal sense and as a trans allegory, is that Lycion does not actually have a particular affinity to another species, but rather feels a visceral discomfort with his own elven body.
We even see in his raceswap portraits, Lycion is visibly happier as anything but an elf. Unlike Laios, who wants to become a monster, Lycion doesn't want to become anything in particular, he simply wants to stop being an elf.
Most depictions of transgender characters in media are focused on the idea of wanting to become something. Feeling in your heart you were always meant to be a boy or a girl or perhaps some secret third thing. Having a specific goal. What is less often depicted is the experience of I don't want to be what i was born as, I'd rather be anything else but this. anything is better than this. And, in both my struggles with gender and with my own humanity, this has been my experience!
Of course, there are a great many creatures I look at and think "I would be much happier if i were one of them", but those feelings are broader and less pressing than the overwhelming discomfort with my own body, and the desire to be less human. I aspired to masculinity and ultimately pursued transition not out of a particular affinity with any idea of maleness, but because masculine human features, to me, appear more animalistic, less of a strange naked thing that sticks out like a sore thumb in the grand scheme of things. And so too did Lycion pursue becoming a beastman, not because he felt a particular affinity with being a wolf, but because it would make him less of an elf.
And after pursuing it, even though he still has to spend much of his time as an elf, Lycion is far more comfortable, no longer nihilistic and self-destructive. He's confident, prideful even! He has a body that doesn't feel wrong, even if he can only wear it sometimes.
And, myself having been on HRT for nearly four years now, i have to say my experience has been much the same! Even though, of course, I'm still human, my dysphoria has essentially been eliminated, I feel comfortable in my body, and I genuinely like the way I look. I admire my reflection and find joy even in the changes that i was merely indifferent to the possibility of when beginning my treatment, and it even eased some issues completely unrelated to gender...!
Finally, Laios' dismissal of Lycion's identity here feels very reminiscent of people casting doubt on a trans (most often nonbinary) individual's identity due to transitioning for what they view as "the wrong reason", even at times arguing that only people who meet their personal standard for transness should be allowed access to transition. And like with Laios, who himself wishes to become a monster, these arguments are often coming from within, from others in the trans community.
Is someone who identifies as male because they don't want to be female less justified in their desire to pursue transition than someone who doesn't want to be female because they identify as male...? Should people be denied the right to feel comfortable in their own skin because they are seeking to escape something, rather than reaching for something specific...? Of course, you know what my answer is, but I digress.
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#lycion#cicada's analysis#also: my gf has expressed similar feelings about tobias from animorphs but i have not personally read it yet#but if you have and would like to share some insight on the similar themes going on i would love to hear it :)#a bit nervous posting this idk how receptive tumblr is to this stuff lol#sidenote: i am genderfluid#cicada's thoughts
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So we know that Wei Wuxian's treatment after his death was horrible. Even if nothing could impact him directly, there was still neverending slander, hatred, misinformation, theft...
But, for a while after he died, the sects did try to impact him directly – namely, frequently trying to resummon his soul. And today I'll explore the possible reasons for this, their likelihoods, and why I'm so, so thankful that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the summons. Because, spoiler alert (or, you know. maybe not)... none of them are good.
(Long meta ahead)
In my opinion, there are four likely motivations for this: confinement, coercion, torment, and potentially destruction.
Out of all of these, confinement is probably the most likely motivation, at least for most sects (Jins and Jiangs excluded, though it was likely what the Jin sect said their motivations were – but I'll get to them later). This one is the most simple – we know spirit-trapping pouches exist, and we know the sects also placed 120 stone beasts on the Burial Mounds to prevent Wei Wuxian's soul from escaping. Therefore, this seems to be the most likely motivation – and fortunately for Wei Wuxian, probably also the best case scenario, though it still certainly isn't a good one.
For the second, coercion – this is where the Jin sect come in (more specifically Jin Guangshan with the help of Jin Guangyao). Due to their wealth and resources, they're likely the sect who played the largest role in the soul-summoning rituals. We know what they're willing to do to try to gain power – keeping Wen Ning under the pretence he was burned to death and trying to control him with the nails, and working with and helping Xue Yang torture people to help him refine his demonic cultivation, in order to have the Yin hufu fixed. Along with working with many other cultivators, alongside Xue Yang – Jin Guangshan really, really wanted that seal.
And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources and these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
(Note that working with these cultivators very likely happened after Wei Wuxian's soul had failed to be summoned, since this happens some time after Wei Wuxian's death, whereas the soul-summoning ceromonies presumably started happening very close to it.)
In the previous paragraph, he's also quoted as having 'lusted after' the Yin hufu, which we already knew but it's nice to have a direct quote as evidence.
Now, would Wei WuXian willingly work with the Jin sect in doing this? No. We know that, and, given Wei Wuxian's actions in his first life (refusing to hand over the Tally, not being afraid to stand up to the sects, etc), I’m pretty sure Jin Guangshan knows that, too:
He beat around the bush a couple of times, using all his skills, yet Wei WuXian didn’t give in no matter what, and it made him run into a bunch of obstacles. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
So this could actually make things go two ways. One, I'm wrong and that wasn't actually part of the Jin sect's motivations, since they know they wouldn't be able to control him (and in that case, had they managed to summon him, I could imagine them putting him in a spirit-trapping pouch and doing something similar to what Jin Guangyao did to Nie Mingjue's head. Which, also, not good). Two, it was a part of their motivations, and they hoped to find a way around that. After all, there are other guidao users out there now, and Wei Wuxian would now be a gui*. Also, cultivators can obviously harm ghosts – see the very existence of Night Hunts, and I'd include Xue Yang's talisman-caused destruction of A-Qing as well (while he isn't a traditional cultivator, talismans can be used by everyone).
Now, would either of these methods actually work? I'm inclined to think not really (and I expand on the former method in a note below). Would that stop Jin Guangshan/Jin Guangyao/the cultivators they employ from trying? Especially considering Jin Guangshan's lust for power?
I'm inclined to think no, too.
For the third, look no further than Jiang Cheng's reputation of capturing and torturing demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death, due to thinking they could be him. And this does happen – Jin Ling knows and talks about it, and there's not real motivation for him to negatively lie about someone he loves. Also, when they come across each other at Dafan Mountain, we're told this in Jiang Cheng's inner voice:
A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. - MDZS Chapter 10, EXR translation
This mainly shows that he's tortured people before, rather than that he's tortured people because he thinks they're Wei Wuxian, but this reason is confirmed by Jin Ling in Chapter 24. Of course, the reason is also mentioned in this chapter, and there are other moments in the chapter that illustrate my point better**, but they come from second-hand sources which I know are easier to deny. Do take note of Jiang Cheng's expression both times he comes across 'Mo Xuanyu' (after he suspects he's Wei Wuxian) in Book One***, though:
After a moment, the corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand started to unconsciously stroke the ring [Zidian] again. He spoke softly, “… Well, well. So you’re back?” - Chapter 10, EXR Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy. - Chapter 23, EXR
This does seem to line up with what people say his attitude to Wei Wuxian is – there doesn't seem to be any happiness at seeing him again at all. The only time a word that could suggest that ('ecstasy') is used, it's accompanied by 'raving', and considering the context and the other possibilities of his expression, it's... probably not due to happiness at being reunited.
So, considering 1) this, 2) his contribution to the Siege specifically intended to kill Wei Wuxian, and 3) that at the time of frequent soul-summoning Jiang Yanli's death would be even closer for him, I feel pretty confident in saying that yes, this is likely a motivation for the Jiang sect in trying to re-summon Wei Wuxian's soul after his death. And, as mentioned earlier, cultivators can harm ghosts (and we know Zidian is able to remove souls posessing a body from that body, and that Jiang Cheng used Zidian on 'Mo Xuanyu' in Chapter 10. If it wasn't able to restrain/harm ghosts, or other methods weren't able to, why would he risk Wei Wuxian's soul escaping?).
And finally, option four: destruction. We're heading into much more speculative territory here, so don't consider this on par with the first three. But consider this:
We know there are some spells, like Xue Yang's talisman used on A-Qing and the body-offering ritual, that can ruin the returning soul’s reincarnation cycle by destroying it. Therefore, soul destruction is possible.
The 'main'/supposed reason for summoning Wei Wuxian's soul back is to stop the "cultivation world, or even all of mortal land" from being "faced with the most insane damnation and revenge, sinking into nothing but chaos and despair" when Wei Wuxian inevitably returns. While, as mentioned above, I severely doubt this is the motivation for certain sects – and to me is likely a rumour which the Jins (again, especially Jin Guangsha) fanned the flames of to justify summoning Wei Wuxian back for their own purposes**** – there are other sects which would take it more seriously.
Although likely disrespectful, people already thought it served Wei Wuxian right to die without his body intact by the time of the second siege – something believed to negatively affect your reincarnation in your next life*****. This is only the logical next step, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people would believe that, again, it would serve Wei Wuxian right, or would at least lead to less harm of the world in the long run.
For these reasons, I could definitely see this as an option for some sects, especially the sects who consider themselves more 'righteous' (cough cough the Nies under Nie Mingjue cough cough). After all, evil is evil and good is good, and the evil deserve what's coming to them. And what better way to prevent that than from preventing his soul from returning at all? So for the Nie sect – and likely some of the smaller sects involved in the Siege, since among them, additudes probably vary – yes, I do think it could be a motivation.
I’m not as sure about the Lans being willing to go this far, and that’s largely for two reasons. One, Lan Wangji’s presence and his relationship to Lan Xichen, who does (not always, but he does) let this affect how he treats Wei Wuxian. An example of this is that, when Wei Wuxian's return is made public, Lan Xichen does let him hide and shelter at the Cloud Recesses instead of trying to pursue him, likely majorly due to Lan Wangji. I'd argue that the aftermath of the Nightless City also acts as an example of this, although it definitely isn't perfect. But though he, Lan Qiren and the 33 elders do come to find Lan Wangji and do not let him continue to shelter Wei Wuxian (after they see Lan Wangji's feelings), Lan Xichen doesn't use this opportunity to kill/capture Wei Wuxian, despite Lan Wangji being in a worse condition due to having fought 33 elders, Wei Wuxian being catatonic, and Lan Qiren likely supporting this outcome (especially considering he was the one who led the Lan sect in the Siege – chapter 68, Wei Wuxian's POV). And he did let Lan Wangji take Wei Wuxian back to the Burial Mounds after:
After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! - Chapter 99, EXR
Again, this was right after the Nightless City massacre – there isn't any goodwill towards Wei Wuxian at this point in time.
Of course, the Lan sect did participate in the siege after Lan Xichen knew of Lan Wangji's feelings towards Wei Wuxian, which Lan Xichen was no doubt a part of (although Lan Qiren lead the Lan sect in the siege, Lan XIchen had to have at least known/given his support, if not participated.) And it should be considered that Lan Xichen letting Wei Wuxian shelter at the Cloud Recesses was after Wei Wuxian had been back for a while, and had not caused the downfall of the Cultivation World, like many suspected he would after his death. And of course, as stated previously, his handling of the aftermath of Nightless City wasn't perfect either (though please note that his main motive here was to protect Lan Wangji from being potentially executed, rather than anything about Wei Wuxian himself). So caring about Lan Wangji doesn't mean he won't harm Wei Wuxian. But I do think he could find bringing Wei Wuxian's soul back to completely destroy it a bit excessive. There is, though, the chance that the elders of the Lan Sect would react to this differently, and of course they would have a sway on both Lan Xichen and the Lan sect as well.
The second reason is smaller, but there seems to be more focus in the Lan sect than in others when it comes to letting ghosts rest peacefully/helping them move on. And that could definitely lead to more resistance to the idea of summoning a soul back to destroy it as well, which could especially impact the elders. So I'd assume that the Lan sect would be the most likely sect to summon Wei Wuxian's soul back just for confinement, or just for some way of making sure any resentment is disippated, his spirit moves on, and he can't cause more harm to the world (eg via Inquiry)******. Not that he would or does as a ghost or as a reborn person, but that's unfortunately not relevant to this.
But yes, as a motivation for the Nie Mingjue-led Nie sect? Absolutely.
So, these are the main motives I suspect to be behind the attempted summoning of Wei Wuxian's soul after his death (and if I've missed any, please let me know – I'd love to have a discussion). And, of course, none of them lead to anywhere good. Because of course it wasn’t enough to besiege Wei Wuxian, murder the 50 non-combatants he was responsible for (and throwing them into the blood pit as a mark of disrespect because why not?), and lead to his death via him getting torn apart. It wasn’t enough to steal all his inventions, and use them commonly while still slandering him with no reprieve – or to steal his notes and give them to people like Xue Yang to study (Villainous Friends, again) and to use for their own, extremely extremely harmful, purposes. Of course, the cultivation world has to try to harm Wei Wuxian after death as well ((:
We don't know whether Wei Wuxian rejecting the summoning ceremonies was conscious or unconscious, but if it was the former, these are very likely reasons he refused to return in this way. If it was unconscious – for example, maybe during the frequent soul-summons his soul was in a weakened state due to him dying from a backlash of resentful energy and getting torn apart, and it healed over time but not before the soul-summoning rituals stopped – well, I can only be thankful.
Finally, let me leave you on the thought that – although it may well have happened since we don't spend much time in the immediate aftermath of the Sunshot campaign – there isn't even any textual mention of this happening to Wen Ruohan. Who, while not being a guidao user, was still very dangerous, still an extremely powerful cultivator, and still had a lot of reason to feel resentment. So.
:')
Thank you for reading!
--
*Considering what we see of how Wei Wuxian's guidao functions – redirecting the ghosts'/corpses' resentment into doing something they'd want to do, eg attacking people, and directing it towards a target – I'm not sure using it to force a spirit to do something 1) extremely specific, and 2) explicitly against their will would actually work. Iirc the closest thing we get to this in text is Wei Wuxian using the corpses of Wens to attack other Wens in the Sunshot Campaign, but he's still just directing their resentment to a target of his choice, and fierce corpses do tend to be on the less concious side of things (hence why Wei Wuxian had to awaken Wen Ning's consciousness). Considering how Wen Ning attacks Wei Wuxian and the Burial Mound Wens before his consciousness had fully awoken, I... really don't think those fierce corpses were able to differentiate (or didn't care).
Meanwhile, ghosts seem to be a bit more in control of themselves – see A-Qing, and Wei Wuxian's own descriptions of his ghost self.
That, alongside ghost!Wei Wuxian being able to resist his soul-summoning and the fact that pretty much all of the new guidao users are a lot weaker than he was, does make me think that this this wouldn't work. I do wonder about Xue Yang, since his methods are pretty different as well, but he's more of a modao user than a guidao user (he controls living corpses rather than dead people) and I don't think you can insert physical nails into ghosts?? Though if he was specifically instructed to figure out some way to control ghost!Wei Wuxian (who's probably kept in a spirit-trapping pouch in this scenario), he might be able to do something at least. Though also he was also struggling to piece Xiao Xingchen's ghost soul back together, so he may struggle with those areas?
Well, whatever the potential outcome, I'm so so happy once again that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the soul-summonings...
**Mainly this:
Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. If he wanted to take someone back, the opposition would surely lose half of their life. - Chapter 10, EXR
But I have heard people say 'you can't prove that it's just more rumours' before, and I wanted my evidence to be as watertight as possible.
(And, off-topic... isn't it really sad how Jiang Cheng, in the present day, is described as young? Because, for a clan leader, he is. And another thing he is, is close in age to Wei Wuxian – who was killed 13 whole years prior :') )
***And do note that the only other time they run into each other before Wei Wuxian's identity is revealed to the world apart from this is their brief interaction at Jinlintai, where he can't just act however he wants. The next time they run into each other after it, Jiang Cheng is literally taking part in another siege against him, and still extremely hostile ("surrounded by hostile energy, face insidious, staring straight at him" – from EXR chapter 60). Then he loses his spiritual powers and can't do anything. By the time he regains his powers, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and the Wen remnants' corpses have saved everyone during the Second Siege, and though public opinion hasn't properly shifted quite yet, it will soon after Sisi and Bicao tell the story of Jin Guangyao, and voila, a new scapegoat (do note that he doesn't completely bar Wei Wuxian from entering Lotus Pier after the Second Siege, though). Plus, throughout it all, Lan Wangji is still constantly present, which makes it hard for Jiang Cheng to really do anything. And then he's finally faced with the Golden Core reveal, which does alter his motivations towards Wei Wuxian (obviously the resentment is still there – read chapter 102 – but it's also mixed with other complex emotions, and he seems to start being able to move away from that a little in Chapter 103). I still definitely wouldn't describe Jiang Cheng's attitude towards him as positive, but it isn't at the point it was at the start of the novel (eg Chapter 10).
But even if his attitude does change, or would for whatever other reason apart from the reveal, that still doesn't change an initial motivation so isn't relevant to this meta. We know his intentions at the start.
****It's also possible they may have originated it, but I think WWX's reputation was bad enough for it to form naturally. Though you can trace a major part of that back to them, too.
*****That belief isn't outright stated in MDZS, but the fact people are specifically talking about the status of WWX's body in the aftermath of his death suggests that this belief does have some grounding in the MDZS universe, at least? And we know MXTX has included it in TGCF (though that doesn't mean it's definitely in MDZS), so she has used it in her works. If this isn't the case in the MDZS universe I am sorry (although that could also mean there's less importance placed on not disturbing the reincarnation cycle in the world of MDZS...? Which would work towards my original argument) – I don't want to spread misinformation that something is definitely true, I just think there's evidence to suggest it is true, which isn't the same thing.
******Again, I think this would depend on who ends up having more influence over who in the Lan sect. After all, normal resentful spirits only do what they do because of their resentment in death, whereas Wei Wuxian is 'dangerous' because of who everyone thinks he was in life – so him being reborn naturally could also 'cause a lot of harm to the world' during the time period this version of him would live in, unlike the resentful ghosts they appease. This could definitely lead to many advocating for confinement, I think.
#writing this takes me back to my nie huaisang one#'detective metas' i'd call both of them#as opposed to analysis of characters or themes#it may be less 'meaningful' but it's still fun to explore and speculate within a world you love#...albeit maybe not for this one because. mdzs jianghu when i get my hands on you-#also i fully acknowledge i may be wrong#but again i'd love to have discussions about these! debates and knowledge exchange are what leads to better understanding of source materia#which is a major goal of mine in writing these#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs cultivation world#long post#mo dao zu shi#gdc#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#魔道祖师#mxtx#detective meta#<– if i ever make this a tag#also i feel like you could write a fic (angsty or not so angsty depending on where you go with it) where the lan sect somehow-#-summons ghost!wwx back (not sure how bc the jin and jiang sects would probably want 'custody' of him more - and i don't think summoning-#-rituals are done by just one sect at a time? but imagine it happens) and idk he's kept in a spirit-trapping pouch or sth#lwj probably isn't told bc of what happened after nightless city - elders can't really trust him in matters to do with wwx#but maybe lxc feels bad for him or sth (especially bc he's mourning him and stuff + what happened after he found out wwx was dead)#and tells him and maybe brings wwx's soul to him for a bit so wwx can respond to inquiry#and they talk and obv. wwx is NOT happy with the situation (both rn and yk bc of the VERY RECENT SIEGE)#but but but! the thing that would stop this being completely depressing is that LWJ HAS A-YUAN SO WWX FINDS OUT HE SURVIVED#also lwj's injuries would likely come up at SOME point which would lead to wwx finding out abt nightless city afermath#AA NOO THE TAGS WENT ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER BUT I GUESS TUMBLR DOESN'T ALLOW SO MANY i'll have to make another post...
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(context for watcher/listener!sausage can be found in the “videos” tag on my blog if you want it, but this ficlet can be read without said context)
- - -
“Y’know, of all the Hermits I was expecting to be pulling me into a dark corner tonight, I did not expect you to be first, Grian! I love the initiative!”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Grian says in a voice near a hiss. He’s got Sausage by the wrist, leading him into a small area of the upper floor of the tavern in Sanctaury that does look like it was built for the exact purpose Sausage is implying. Grian decides to ignore that as well.
“What are you doing here?” Grian’s straight to the point. He always has to be, with these Things, if he doesn’t want to get trapped in a loop of slant rhyming pleasantries.
“What do you mean?” Sausage asks, shaking his wrist out of Grian’s tight grip and leaning comfortably against the wall. “This is where I live. It’s my home. If anything, I should be asking you mysterious strangers what you’re doing here, but I’m sure you’ve heard that question enough for one day.”
“You know exactly what I mean.” Grian crosses his arms and tries his best not to look petulant, but he sure feels like it. “I thought They’d given up on trying to snatch me back, so why would They send you of all people? What’s your game?”
Sausage laughs, honest to god laughs, like he can’t believe Grian’s even asking him such a question. Grian thinks it’s a reasonable question, in this scenario, but what he thinks and what’s reasonable rarely seems to matter with these things.
“They didn’t send me,” Sausage looks him up and down in that way that makes Grian have to physically stop himself from curling inwards. This is why he never talks to Them. “Nobody sends me anywhere, they don’t tell me what to do and I like it that way! I just do my own thing. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“No you’re not! You’re not- you can’t be! That’s not how this works!” Grian begins to notice that he’s no longer whisper-shouting and starting to just-normal-shout and takes a deep breath, trying not to draw the attention of his friends enjoying themselves on the floor below. And, realistically, in the other dark corners Sausage seems to have built into this place.
“That’s exactly how this works. You didn’t think you were the only person who’d left, did you?”
Grian opens his mouth, closes it, and thinks. In hindsight… yeah, he had kind of assumed he’d been the only person who’d left. Not for lack of trying, probably- but They’d tried for so long to get him back, kept him closely surveilled even when They’d accepted he was gone- surely some people had caved to that pressure eventually. When there was no sign They’d ever let up, ever let you go… he could understand eventually letting it overtake you.
“Did- did you leave, too?” Grian doesn’t remember the last time he saw Sausage’s face. He didn’t know him back then, of course. He probably would’ve connected the man with the person Pearl so often spoke about sooner. But he knows it’s been a long time, maybe even longer than the last time Grian had gone There. He doesn’t think Sausage had been There, that day. This might explain why.
“Eh, not quite?”
“What-“ Grian flails, both mentally and with his arms a bit. “What do you mean not quite?”
“Exactly what I said! I was never- it’s complicated, y’know?”
“Explain. Now.”
“Well, uh,” Sausage seems to flounder for the first time since this conversation started, which Grian is choosing to take as a victory. “Look, I wasn’t- they didn’t pick me. For this, or for anything, ever. Sometimes things just happen and you get yourself into a place you shouldn’t have and then… they can’t get rid of me, I can’t get rid of them, it is what it is.”
Grian stares at him for a long moment. Really stares at him, in the same way Sausage had looked him over earlier, in the same way that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope. Judging by the sudden nerves in his eyes, Grian can assume he feels it too. Grian remembers his face. That had been the first thing he’d noticed, when the Hermits had arrived. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, but Grian knew his face. And now that Grian was studying him, really trying to remember… he’s not sure he quite likes what memories he’s dredging up.
“What are you?”
“Grian!” Sausage’s voice drips with mock offense as he puts his hand up to partially cover his mouth. “We only just met, do you think that’s polite?”
“Answer the question,” Grian sighs. How Pearl deals with this man on the regular, he doesn’t know.
“Well, if you insist.” Sausage sighs, somehow even more exaggerated than his previous movements. “It’s just… if you’ll believe it, it’s somehow even harder to answer the first question.”
“It shouldn’t be,” Grian says. “They’re two very different People, you know.”
“But they’re the same species, when it all comes down to it. Like, you might be very different than a chicken, but you’re both birds in the long run.”
Grian pauses, fanning his wings out a bit behind him as he considers. “I don’t think that metaphor’s quite landing the way you want it to.”
“No, me neither. Anyways, let me continue.
When they don’t pick you, things go a little differently! You don’t get sorted onto one side or the other since, well, you’re not really supposed to be there? So I’m… whatever I want to be, really. I think I’m feeling like more of a Listener, today, but we’ll see how the mood shifts.”
Grian flinches at the Name, on instinct. He doesn’t know how to feel about that, so he files it away to be dealt with at a later date. As for the rest of what Sausage said-
“What?”
“You heard me.” Sausage shrugs. He’s so nonchalant, Grian thinks he might strangle him, if not for the worry that that’s exactly what he wants out of this, somehow.
“Did I? Did I hear you?” Grian wants to pace, but that requires leaving the security of the corner, so he forces his feet to root themselves to the floor. “I thought- I thought you had to- if you wanted to change sides, I thought you had to-“
Grian closes one eye and takes his thumb to it, twisting the finger into his eyelid. The gesture seems to get the point across.
“Well, that’s the funny thing about this, actually.” From the way he’s been talking, Grian assumed Sausage thought this whole thing was funny. He restrains himself from saying that out loud if only so Sausage will finish his explanation.
Sausage reaches up to his left eye, pulls his eye lid back a bit, and unceremoniously pops out his prosthetic eye.
“All these processes and rituals actually have a lot of loopholes.”
Grian doesn’t know what face he’s making, but it’s enough to make Sausage giggle while he pops the eye back in. Because of course he does. Because this how his day is going, apparently. Walk through a weird portal in his basement and wake up in a world filled with his friends who don’t recognize him and also a guy he only ever saw There, who he was never supposed to see again. Sure. Of course he’s laughing about it. Grian thinks if he was a slightly different person, he’d be laughing too. It is, undeniably, absurd.
“Well, I think we’re done here then!” Grian would probably object if he weren’t so shocked about the loopholes. As it is, he just stands there a bit stupidly.
Sausage turns away to return to the party before turn around again for just a moment, reaching over, and ruffling Grian’s hair. That shocks him enough to shake him out of his stupor and swat Sausage’s hand away, though not before his hair is suitably messed up.
“What was that for?!”
Sausage smiles as he reaches up to rough up his own hair as well. “I assumed you didn’t want your friends asking questions about why you were dragging me into a dark corner, you know?” Sausage even goes far enough to pull his shirt a bit out of where it’s tucked into his pants, because of course he does. Grian tries not to cringe, but Sausage is right about this one thing. It is the easiest way to dodge any questions about where he’d gone off to- at the expense of the many knowing looks and teasing remarks he’ll be getting from the other Hermits instead.
“Have a good night, Grian!” Sausage calls over his shoulder as he turns to leave for real this time. “And remember, drinks are on me for all you guests tonight! You look like you need it.”
#empires smp#hermitcraft#grian#mythicalsausage#hermitfic#empiresfic#long post#my writing#….do i need to tag shipping on this#they’re not actually DOING anything. and i would say i’m not really going much further than sausage usually does#but like. idk man. if i wake up in the morning and decide i need to tag shipping i will#anyways. fics for an audience of like two people total#but that’s ok cause i like this SO MUCH#the first few sentences have been rotting in my tumblr drafts for like at least two months#and i finally kicked myself into gear to just finish it#and i had fun! i liked the way i used capitalization here to really wedge the difference between how these two think of the watchers#(and listeners)#grian doesn’t necessarily respect them but he does still see them as Other. and he’s maybe a little afraid#so all the important stuff gets capitalized#sausage doesn’t. he doesn’t respect them and he doesn’t fear them and they’re just a weird bureaucracy to him#so no capitalization!#also ten seconds after posting this i got a post on my dash#of sausage posting a screenshot of e’s tumblr post about him checking tumblr in their twitter replies#terrifying. hey king if you see this keep the bit up. i think it’s funny#my art
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We really need a newsies fandom group chat.
#I know discord is popular for that stuff#But I don’t have it#And I need parental requests to get apps#So that’s not an option for me#Can you make a tumblr group chat?#Idk#I just make the idea someone else can figure out how to do it#But like imagine how awesome that would be#Let me know if this is something we should do or just one of my silly ideas
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
#or maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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Thinking about Wendy's first weeks in the Constant and the confusion she must've felt when she realized her tormentor looked identical to her father. I'll never buy into the idea that Maxwell and Wendy didn't recognize each other (well its possible Maxwell didn't realize it at first...but Wendy would've known almost immediately), and now I just wonder if Wendy realized it was her uncle, or if she spent an uncomfortable amount of time believing it was her father who betrayed her, who brought her into this world to suffer.
I think about Jack and Wendy a lot. About Wendy isolating herself from the world, confusing dreams for reality, obsessing over her grief until it killed her, until she ceased being Wendy and became Abigail's shadow. And I think about Jack, losing one of his daughters only for the other to reject him at every turn... watching her become a shell of her former self, and nothing he could do about it.
I think about their house. About the empty bed, the empty chair in the dining room, the untouched toys and clothes gathering dust in their boxes. I think about the silence. And it kills me.
How did Jack cope with his grief? Did he try to erase every trace of Abby's existence, pretend it never happened, and get angry at Wendy for bringing her up? Did he fall apart just as terribly, did they enable each other ? Did he shut down emotionally, stand stoic and solid, even as Wendy crumbled, refusing to share any tears, anger or comfort?
And did Wendy despise him for it? Did she lash out at him, blame him, wish he had died instead? Or did he simply disappear from her mind entirely, kicked out to make more room for Abigail...one night, after crying all the tears she could possibly shed, her eyes glazed over, incapable of seeing anything beyond her grief and sadness.
Im sure we'll know someday but until then....I can only wonder....
#dst wendy#sneed talks#should i make a tag for like. dst rambles specifically. im always shy about posting these but idk so much on my mind#dst rambles#ok im making it. dunno if ill put it to use. meep.#should i also tag maxy...feels like id be spamming#that's another thing i dont wanna flood main fandom tags with “low effort” stuff#meep. I think i just think too much about these things#tumblr culture/etiquette is still unknown to me#but YEAH that shit aside. erm. the carters.......omg they break me#how fucked up would that be for Wendy lol#“ohhh ok so you said youd bring my sister back but now im stuck w her ghost as an eternal reminder of my grief.”#“and also im being violently killed by monsters left and right”#“and also ur like. dad. Ok. wow thats how it is”
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