#but like i hear someone in a podcast or dnd show use it and i get so amped

[raptorix]

Used my Beacon access to buy a ticket for the Live Show next month (Yay!) And also listened to the first 3 episodes of Re-Slayer's Take podcast. :D

Thoughts on Re-Slayer's Take:

Great for newbies who are familiar with but not caught up with all of Critical Role. The GMs spell out more setting unique character descriptions, (What's a Tiefling? What's a Firbolg?) but also reward veterans with references we would know (like Vox Machina's brief run with The Slayer's Take.)

More spoilery thoughts behind the 'Read More'

So this is a far more produced & edited podcast than an actual-play. You're not going to hear out-of-character jokes or discussions about gameplay rules. Fully sound edited & music score.

Did my best to endure the constant squelching noises they used for the Gelatinous Cube encounter in the first episode. Someone recorded extended sessions of playing with slime or slurping on Boba *just* for that foley. DX

As for characters: Good charming cast! They utilize the 'DM PCs & player PCs' play style. One of the DMs plays as Timpani the Firbolg to help guide the story directly, while the other does narration & gameplay, and I think plays as the Goblin sidekick, Poogs.

I think I need to go back and re-listen to the first episode for intros. They don't spell out what classes the characters are playing. D:

I can't for the life of me understand why Farah the half elf (???) uses a gravely voice besides 'She's older.' Guessing from her choice in crossbow she's a ranger, though she might be a blood hunter/ranger build? She's been working as a monster hunter prior to her audition to try and join the Slayer's Take, and seems to be looking for a more consistent employment with them.

Heera Agniheart is possibly an Inquisitor Rogue, since she has a high intelligence & insight ability stats, and used sneak attack and a finesse weapon. Also an ochre yellow tiefling w/ water buffalo style horns. The artwork crops that feature out and I'd love to see a full portrait of that :O

Frog is delightful, and I hope to see more Aeormaton characters in Exandria. To make it easier, lore-wise, she was revived w/ full amnesia & is fully unfamiliar with current day Exandria. But she apparently trained with some Monks first, so gets to be the dodge-tank for the group.

Idrin Shadowstep is a Half Elf/Half Orc (I think of the lineage Matt designated as common in Jrusar) and appears to have a sorcerer lineage of either clockwork soul, or an Exandria-Dunamancy variant of it. He has a special time reversal ability he can use to re-roll his or his party member's failed rolls. Very noble of intentions and the neophyte adventurer.

DM PC Timpani Guff took Matt's Midwestern/Canadian accent he used on Pumat Sol and ran with it. A circle of spores druid who fills in as the party's healer & guide. He's trying to get the Slayer's Take to listen to his observations of an extra-planar force bringing old Slayer's Take monsters back from the dead. But because he's lied about his affiliation with them before, the members wont listen to his warnings. So now he's leading this little adventuring group to investigate this while the Slayer's Take willfully ignores it.

Re-Slayer's Take is a difficult title, IMO. RST might be a good acronym. Maybe shorten it to 'Reslayers'?

It's also all-ages friendly. No curse words!!! Injuries also are not graphic. (PCs get bruises or get knocked out, but nothing deadly.) Stakes are challenging, but like in an action cartoon and not infantilizing. I have listened to another podcast attempt to an all-ages spin-off after the prior story setting was explicit, and they started out with kid-gloves and low stakes that almost put me to sleep. Thankfully Reslayers doesn't go that route. We're playing DnD and we got DnD monsters to fight!

Setting timeline-wise is between The Mighty Nein and Bell's Hells. So maybe if we revisit Issylra in the current campaign, we might see/hear of the Reslayers. We'll have to see later, however, as the Reslayers progress their storyline.

Reblogs with any lore corrections from a re-listen or future Encyclopedia Exandria entries.

[bafflegab-z]

I was watching hbomberguy's new video and during the part talking about angryvideogamenerd and monster madness, he mentioned he used to watch the show when he was hungover during college. which as someone who is currently in college absolutely floored me.

I've heard stuff like "when I was in college this was popular" all the time but for some reason this particularly struck me and I'm not sure why. I was just immediately sent into a spiral of "I'm in college now! I want to make videos like this! Oh my god, will I be referencing things I watch now like this in the future? In a decade, when I am 28, will I be talking about how I watched dnd podcasts and minecraft streamers? Will I still be watching those shows then, will they still exist? Did people in college a decade ago have this same feeling? One day today will be the past. I am so young I am so old I am constantly changing."

And maybe this is me being dramatic but I got the same emotions from hearing hbomberguy say that as I do as an artist seeing old cave paintings. This isnt me making some snide joke "oh haha guy old" this is me trying to say I felt like despite everything being different, things are also the same. I use my computer to write research papers now, scholars used scrolls. I doodle on my homework, Onfim did too in the 13th century. But to have this feeling, the original work doesn't need to be from hundreds or thousands of years ago.

Hearing someone talk about their college experience so closely paralleling mine IS the same effect. Maybe he watched different shows, maybe media was so vastly different and I was barely even conscious as a living thing, but we do the same. College students then are echos of college students now, we are all just sleep deprived nerds listening to our little videos on our little devices and I think thats kind of beautiful.

I wonder if in the future, a college student my age now will find this post and feel the same. If so, hello!! Remember to turn in your final exam and drink water!! I'm going to go work on my research paper :-]

[apopheniazzz]

ok here’s the clues + my thoughts bc i’m insane

starting off: 1. lou, brennan, erika, aabria and someone named taylor moore are posting not only links to the website but tiktoks n other vids hinting to stars/fire related symbolism……

2. the domain name: “ears to the sky new ground all around heaven split open and oh what a sound” sounds like something brennan would say but also aabria is the one posting her face on tiktok responding to the confusion which she’s only done in the past when she’s dm’d…..

3. there’s an audio titled: the worlds whisper and it’s 11:04 long, seems like a fantasy sound track or something idk?? perhaps the number 1104 means something??? feels like you’ve already got a song past 10 minutes why stop 4 secs after 11 ykwim??

4. the count down goes to new years???

5. SO MUCH FIRE AND STARS/CELESTIAL HINTS, the website, the star twinkle sound effects in the audio, and all this shit:

6. now who the fuck is TAYLOR MOORE?

apparently he has produced a dnd podcast called Rude Tales of Magic at Fortunate Horse!!!!

at first i thought it’s a count down to announcing something probably small outside of drop out because they’ve been doing a lot of UCB shows so i originally thought they’re looking to branch out/away BUT 7. in aabria’s post on tiktok she hashtag’s #ttprg

i saw someone say it’s just a count down to new years amongst friends… but that is doubtful? lou has zero social media presence also making an ENTIRE website just to mess with us seems unlikely.

i don’t think this is calamity 2 because then more cr cast would be posting about it ESPECIALLY sam he’d be eating up the mischief of this type of crumb leaving promo—and it’s not misfits and magic because Danielle didn’t post anything

SO my closing argument is perhaps the count down on the mysterious website lou erika and bren posted…. is leading to an announcement of a drop date for a dnd podcast? maybe? and maybe that’s why 8. the title of the countdown timer says “hear it comes” because we’ll be listening instead of seeing? maybe a stretch but hey

maybe i’m reading into things; or maybe i’m a genius, only time will tell. 3 days 6 hours 42 minutes and 50 seconds to be exact (at the time of posting) ;)

is NO ONE going to talk about the fact that Brennan Lee Mulligan, Aabria Iyengar, Erica Ishii and Taylor Moore just posted a link to a MYSTERIOUS WEBSITE WITH A COUNTDOWN that could very well contain hints or some kind of ARG? because CHRIST i want to poke around this website so bad.

[hotboiessek]

do any of y’all have a spell in dnd that you consider yours? like that 1 spell that when you hear someone else use it you’re like “hell yeah” 

mine is chain lighting 

[xyloophones]

Hey Cher, seen you posting abt dimension 20 a bit, and yeah I could Google it but it looks very cool and I'd rather hear it from you if it's that cool 💜

helloooo my beloved pal <333 yes yes lemme talk about dimension 20 !!

dimension 20 is an actual play dnd show (theres also an audio only version if you prefer podcasts !) !! there are several campaigns, some with wildly different settings & different players, most of them DM'd by brennan lee mulligan who is an INCREDIBLE storyteller. d20 has a diverse cast & really memorable characters and i've kind of passively watched for a while but i recently finished watching one of their campaigns and Fell In Love

i'm just gonna list the campaigns ive seen so far in order of my favorites:

fantasy high. 6 teens go to a high school that like. specializes in adventuring parties, found family and shenanigans ensue. everyone is gay and neurodivergent. i'm very attached to the characters and their dynamics with each other AND the npcs <33 season one is on youtube for free, however season 2 is my favorite bc it contains probably my fav dnd npc to ever exist (i am an ayda aguefort stan until i DIE). i'm making my way through The Seven right now, which is a spin-off of another adventuring party that are friends with the original 6 in seasons 1 & 2.

a starstruck odyssey. fun campy space romp feat. more found family. this one is has the same players and dm as fantasy high! it has a sci-fi spacey setting and the party is the crew of a spaceship that looks like a giant hotdog. the fights in this one are absolutely wild.

the unsleeping city. an urban magic setting in new york city! another one with the main player cast and dm and once again the party dynamics and character relationships are just !!! so good !!! you will cry over a rat man !!!!! i think these two seasons definitely made me the most emotional. i aspire to get to this level of world building in my own writing.

a court of fey & flowers. ok this one is still ongoing but !!!!!! the only reason it's not number one on this list is because it's not done yet but hsajkf holy shit it's so good?? it's dm'd by aabria iyengar and it's basically using dnd in a regency fey setting to play around with high society gossip and court expectations and AAAAA i have never been so invested in wanting someone to roll well when sending shady letters to other members in the court. it's so good.

there are a ton more campaigns + one shots but i'm still making my way through them! unfortunately, most of it is only available with a dropout subscription so i'd recommend watching the first season of fantasy high on youtube to see if you like it before diving in!

if anyone else has any questions about dimension 20 feel free to send me an ask!! i could probably talk for hours about my favorite characters and details but i'll leave it here <33

real quick edit: if anyone needs trigger/content warnings for things please send me an ask !! every episode has content warnings in the description, but some campaigns in general have darker themes so let me know if you need warnings !)

[enderspawn]

now I'm curious to know how you got into jrwi in the first place. I got into it because of your blog and I haven't been normal since, so I feel like I'm owed an explanation, you know? it's my fault for getting too invested, but all your chip-posting got me intrigued so it's safe to say you had a hand in my downfall

honestly, i think it was other ppls Propaganda Posting fjdksljfkl

i remember hearing abt it when ranboo guested on the show (bc there was a push to use that to advertise it to the mcyt folks) and thought it sounded interesting, plus id listened to dnd podcasts in the past and had a good time!

but like. considering i ACTUALLY listened to it for the first time around ep 53ish's release, and ranboo was there for 11-13 it still took me a while to try it

(..........tbh. i think at the time i was in a BIG charlie content kick? and i lowkey was running out of other stuff, so i turned to jrwi and finally watched it to Fill that gap JFKDSLJFL)

anyway tldr blame someone else im just a fellow victim of propaganda and now i TOO am too invested and infected with chip jrwi posting

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

I see a lot of stuff floating around the net about people taking the whole isolation/quarantine thing really hard. They are really struggling with just chilling at home. So I've come to you with...

✧*。Dr Morrissey's Tips & Tricks for Not Losing Your Mind While Stuck Inside™ ✧*。

✧*。TIP #1: have supplies for multiple hobbies that you can do solo & indoors. There's endless possibilities in the crafting & art realms, video games, adult coloring books, baking, reading, & writing just to name a few. Rotate through them throughout the day so you don't get burned out.

✧*。TIP #2: ever wanted to learn a new skill, craft, or language? Is there a makeup or hair technique you want to try but were afraid of sucking & looking ridiculous? Is there a dish you've been dying to learn to cook? Candies you've wanted to learn to bake? Now's the time! You have loads of time to spare & most can me done online.

✧*。TIP #3: throw some cleaning into the mix. That chore you've been putting off due to lack of time or energy? Get it done! Make those small home repairs or improvements!

✧*。TIP #4: you absolutely will get sick of streaming shows & movies. Mix it up with music, podcasts, or audiobooks while you do stuff.

✧*。TIP #5: it's important to stay active & not get deconditioned. Normally go to the gym or go for a run? Modify your workout so it can be done at home. There are loads of instructional videos on YouTube. It may not be the workout you're used to, but it's definitely better than nothing.

✧*。TIP #6: now if you aren't deeply introverted, you might be losing your shit due to lack of social interaction. Good news! We are quarantined with the best technology humanity has every gotten its fleshy hands on! There are loads of video chat apps & programs that you can use to make a group chat with your friends & family. Facetime & skype are the most obvious. Get creative with it! Host a dinner party. Finally get that dnd campaign started. (your group now definitely has the time!) Play online party games like Jackbox. Introverts, reach out to your more social friends & family. They might be struggling with this in a way you're not.

✧*。TIP #7: even though you aren't going anywhere & nobody will see you, maintain your daily hygiene & dressing routine. It will make you feel good.

✧*。TIP #8: taking that a step further, while you may be tempted to absolutely nuke your sleep schedule & do fuckall, routine is important for your mental health. Still try to have a routine bedtime & time to wake up. Can you adjust them so they are more reasonable? Absolutely! But you should still have a routine.

✧*。TIP #9: get outside in the sun for at least an hour a day, even if it's just on a porch, balcony, or backyard. If you do decide to venture into a park or some wilderness, make sure you still practice social distancing. Be safe & responsible about it.

✧*。TIP #10: if you start to feel alone or isolated, reach out to someone. Even if it's just someone online. Hell, my inbox is always open.

✧*。TIP #11: if you start to feel overwhelmed by the news, you're starting to feel that the horror outweighs the number of helpers (because Mr. Rodgers always taught us to look for the helpers in times of crisis) there's absolutely NO SHAME in stepping away to get some distance & perspective. Turn off the news, step away from websites that vomit more news stories than anything (looking at you Facebook). While it is important to be informed, that doesn't mean you have to watch or read about it 24/7. You need to protect your mental & emotional health first. Should you find yourself overwhelmed, I recommend guided meditation, specifically for anxiety. There are loads of YouTube videos & mobile apps for that. My personal favorite app is Stop, Breathe, & Think. It's free & asks you some questions to assess your mental & emotional state, then gives you a selection of guided medications based on that. SIDE NOTE: don't believe everything you hear or read as "news". There's a lot of misinformation floating around. Always fact check.

Remember, we are all in this together. Be safe, be kind (not just to others but to yourself), and remember you're not alone. ♡

[mynachopaper]

Heyo...I’d like you to answer all of the weird questions that say a lot please...😇🖤

That’s very naughty of you. I expect payment when I’m done...

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Wine glasses. I love their shape

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubble gum, I like the oral fixation

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Wierd, creepy, creative. “He needs to find an outlet or have a beating”- My arabic teacher

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Glass bottles

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Tomboy

7. earbuds or headphones?

Headphones

8. movies or tv shows?

Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

river in the cedar forest

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Fencing

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Nothing (sometimes fruit if I need to)

12. name of your favorite playlist?

SHmood

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Turkish delights

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Simon versus the Homosapien agenda

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Legs to my chest on a chair

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My trainers

18. ideal weather?

Thunder and rain

19. sleeping position?

Curled up on my side

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Notebook but laptops are great for convenience

21. obsession from childhood?

Horror stories and or occult (Yes I cringe too)

22. role model?

Don’t have one

23. strange habits?

I like to practice voices and movements (mostly for DnD) anywhere. Shopping, cooking, with the cat. normally I’m on my own but I’ve been caught a few times.

24. favorite crystal?

Obsidian

25. first song you remember hearing?

Wide, wide as the ocean- My dad sang it to me as a kid

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swimming

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Bonfire jumping (used to do it with the scout kids)

28. five songs to describe you?

Fall into me- Alev Lenz

Rush- I am waiting for you last summer

Smile- Nat King Cole

Limb to limb- Fatal

Kiss breakdown- Micheal Brook (Perks of being a wallflower soundtrack) 

29. best way to bond with you?

Discuss your passions and your fears. Other than that, play silly games with me.

30. places that you find sacred?

Anywhere that is deemed so. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

My pajamas (honestly no idea)

32. top five favorite vines?

Don’t have favourites.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

I love you to the moon and back.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

I have adblock so I don’t hear enough for them to get stuck. Maybe the old spice commercial.

35. average time you fall asleep?

12-1am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

The orly owl

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon meringue pie (obviously)

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Nothing too weird. We did have a slew of dead birds that were killed and placed in weird positions. They were claimed to be omens.

The culprit was never caught. But I did have an old journal where I kept notes on them. I lost it in the move though..

41. last person you texted?

My online friend in the uk

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie, I need the soft

44. favorite scent for soap?

sandalwood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, DnD for life

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Shirt and underwear

47. favorite type of cheese?

Brie

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Orange

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Already answered

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

When my friend and I got stuck in traffic so we listened to the John Mulaney story about the salt and pepper diner. Afterward we actually made the playlist and listened to it. We died, the song got to us and we lost our minds.

51. current stresses?

My Father being ok back home. Me not finishing uni. Breaking my promise to my friends back home of making something of myself.

52. favorite font?

Bree Serif

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Their ok, quite dexterous. My nails have grown out too

54. what did you learn from your first job?

People take production for granted. The public opinion of a show means little. The entertainment industry is weaker than everyone treats it.

55. favorite fairy tale?

The Bloody Chamber

Book by Angela Carter

56. favorite tradition?

Our family does breakfast in bed for the birthday person

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Self harm, the invasion of my country, getting out of my old life.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I improvise well, I remain calm in an emergency, and am often the first to act. I have good emotional skills. I will always find a way, though it often comes at great cost.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

After someone tells me I can’t do something “HAVE YOU MET ME?!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably Shonen. Love me some JoJoBA

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Yeah, I stayed. I stayed, because every time you threw a brick at my head, or said I smelled, it *hurt*; but it could never hurt more than every day of my life just being *me*! I *stayed* because I thought, if anyone can change me, can make me... *not* me, it was you! - Kung Fu Panda

62. seven characters you relate to?

Tarzan-Stich-Quisimodo-Ginger (From Chicken run)- Po (Kung fu Panda)- Mulan (Yes really)- Charlie (Perks of being a wallflower)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Shut up and dance with me- Walk the moon

Suzy- Caravan Palace

Rocket Fuel feat. De La Soul - DJ Shadow

Come with me now - KONGOS

Dance with me tonight - Olly Murs

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Miniclip

65. any permanent scars?

Some on my arms and a large one on my forearm 

66. favorite flower(s)?

I’m a cliche, I love roses

67. good luck charms?

My Celtic ring and my pride pin

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

It was chocolate shrimp in Sanfrancisco. Fad food with an abhorrent mixture.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Spiders don’t kill every prey that falls into their web. Sometimes they just wrap them up and let them squirm helpessly.

70. left or right handed?

Right, unless eating

71. least favorite pattern?

Uh... not sure

72. worst subject?

Maths

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Fries and Icecream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

8

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I was 5

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Baked potatoes, especially with Sour cream and garlic 

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Sushi from grocery

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

School Id (not by much though)

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

PC

83. writing or drawing?

Writing, though I wish I could draw

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Neither

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies

87. your greatest fear?

That I had no impact on anything

88. your greatest wish?

To gain the power to change the world

89. who would you put before everyone else?

The one I love. A partner (If we had a child then it falls to them)

90. luckiest mistake?

When I had an accident at work over my selfharm wounds. Some metal staging scraped against my arm.

91. boxes or bags?

Bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Fairylights

93. nicknames?

Teddy, Monster, Quis

94. favorite season?

Winter

95. favorite app on your phone?

Reddit is fun

96. desktop background?

My current Pfp

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2 My parents

98. favorite historical era?

Don’t really have a favourite

[notafeeling]

Infinitesimal (Part I)

A/N Infinitesimal (originally titled in a haze as “LOGAN IS BARRY BLUEJEANS”) is a Sanders Sides AU set in the world of The Adventure Zone: Balance, a DnD podcast made by the McElroy brothers. If you have not started The Stolen Century arc and don’t want spoilers, do not read.

Pairing: eventual logince (Logan/Roman)

Genre: scifi; slowburn

Warnings: temporary character death; TAZ-canon-typical violence

Word Count: 7.5k

Summary:

Logan had always thought that being a human meant he had to work harder and faster than everyone else to truly make a difference in the world. When his home is consumed by an intergalactic force known as The Hunger and he’s forced to go on the run through space with six others for a century, he realises that that’s not exactly true.

Or, Logan accepts an offer to join the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration and to travel around the mysterious planes that control his planet for a few months, but ends up hopping realities and dying a whole bunch alongside his mismatched crew members, learning how to love somewhere along the way.

-

Logan knows that, as a human, he has certain limitations in this world. For one thing, his 80-year expected lifespan is nothing compared to the centuries-old elves and dwarves who are considered teenagers. For another, it means he can’t rely on magic. He doesn’t have enough time to spend it mastering something he was never meant to have.

He turns to science at a young age.

The stars call him from outside his dirty, cracked window, and he dreams of the day he can fly among them. He wants to touch, he wants to grow, he wants to be something more.

Even at 8, he knows that his world doesn’t have the technology for that, and won’t for a very long time. It doesn’t stop him from yearning, though.

His parents send him to an academy at 15, only because he managed to get a scholarship. He graduates at 17 at the top of his class.

It’s still not enough.

He devotes the next five years of his life to mapping the stars and their constellations. Nothing that hasn’t been done before, but Logan’s determined to do this on his own.

If he won’t be able to live among them, then he’ll commit them to memory. Maybe he’ll travel along the constellation Pneuma Cascade in his dreams.

-

Having two suns is a fact everyone on Phaethon has long since accepted. The early civilisations made entire mythos surrounding those two stars alone, and children of his world are told stories of two lovers who chase each other endlessly. The second is dimmer because of his eternal pining, but he will follow the other to the end of times. When parents are asked why, they reply “because they’re in love,” and that’s all there is to that story.

Logan’s long-since moved on from folklore and the notion of love. Instead, he wants to know how. How can these two massive celestial objects coexist without succumbing to one another's’ gravitational pull? How does his planet, as small as it is, only orbit around the two without being sucked in?

Those questions give Logan purpose.

-

At 30, Logan finally has something to show for all his research.

The problem with examining two suns is that first of all, you shouldn’t look directly at them, and secondly, they’re too far away to properly study.

He devises a tool. It’s mostly cylindrical, and the otherwise hollow interior contains several panes of glass. Originally it was designed to filter out the sunlight, but Logan quickly figures out how to magnify the image he’s seeing.

(It’s kind of embarrassing that it took someone with corrective lenses for his short-sightedness to figure that one out, but all that matters is that it works.)

It takes him a few more years to have a perfected prototype. And he sees something no one else has.

He can see the suns in shocking clarity, but he doesn’t care about them (too much) anymore. Instead, he focuses on the slight rift between them. It’s not exactly a rift, more like… a divide. A shift.

Logan spends countless hours studying this, almost forgetting to breathe at times. This is what it’s all been leading to. There’s more! He can be more, do more!

It doesn’t take him much longer to figure out that the second sun is a double of the first. No, not exactly a double.

The second sun comes from the Ethereal Plane. The existence behind theirs, to put it simply. So it’s not a double, more like… the same one, but ever so slightly behind.

And the divide? It’s a weakened point between his plane - the Material Plane - and the other. Which means-

Holy shit. If there are other weakened points to other planes, then they could travel. He could explore! Not just magic-users who pop into the Ethereal Plane for brief moments, nor necromancers trying to break into the Astral Plane, no. Everyone.

Notes and ideas spill furiously from Logan’s mind, down through his arm and onto a thick, leather-bound journal. He lives off of caffeine and adrenaline as he completes his paper on Interplanar Travel, and not long after, he’s contacted by Thomas Sanders, the leader of the newly established Institute of Planer Research and Exploration (IPRE, for short).

Thomas offers him a position on the team of explorers that will be tasked with travelling across planes and, hopefully, beyond that at some point. He explains that although not too long ago, their world certainly didn’t have the technology, ever since the Light of Creation fell there’s been massive leaps in scientific advancement.

(Logan must have been holed up in his study during that time, as he has to pretend he knows exactly what his future boss is referencing.)

It’s everything Logan’s ever wanted, so of course, he accepts.

-

YEAR 0.

10 months later, and he meets his teammates. He’s already known and worked closely with Thomas (soon to be Captain Sanders) for the past few months, and he’s certainly earned Logan’s respect, but the rest of the team has some… shortcomings.

For one thing, he isn’t sure why they need two wizards who also double as cooks (Roman and Virgil) though he supposes the fact that they’re twins who seem to have done everything together makes them a package deal.

And, okay, he gets why they might need a cleric, but surely Patton could also double as the journalist (a young tiefling named Kalumnia), or vice-versa!

Also, if they have a ship that can withstand the heat of passing between two suns and the extremities of space, then why can’t they add a few weapons? Why do they need a security officer? Can’t the twins do magic?

He doesn’t have much time to convince Thomas to hire more fitting members (why not a maintenance crew?) because he meets all these people right before they’re given matching red robes with IPRE emblazoned on them and are told to walk onstage in front of the largest gathering of humans, elves, orcs, tieflings, dragonborns, etc. that Logan’s ever seen in his life.

He’s more than happy to let his Captain manage the questions from various reporters while he sits back and attempts to get to know his crewmates. After all, he’ll be living with them for a few months, possibly longer if the mission is a success. Might as well get comfortable.

“So,” Logan murmurs to the person he’s seated next to (Roman? Or maybe Virgil?), “why did you sign up for this?”

The high-elf casts a cursory glance in his direction as his twin whispers something in his ear, making him snort. They’re definitely laughing at Logan, which. Okay. He can deal with childish behaviour.

“Look! His ears are going red. You embarrassed him, Ro,” the furthest one says.

“I did not! You’re the one who made me laugh!” Roman retorts.

It’s a relief when Thomas calls him up to the podium.

“Salutations. My name is Logan and I’m the Science Officer of IPRE.” His voice rings out all around him and reporters call his name. He chooses one at random - a young human woman with wild hair.

“Hi, Linda from Phaethon Press here. I read your report on Interplanar Travel and I’ve been blown away with the progress you’ve made since!”

“Thank you.”

“Anyway, could you explain what you’re hoping to find or learn from your journey?”

Logan’s struck once more by how much he has to explore and a wide smile spreads over his features. “Well, not much is known about the other planes. The Ethereal Plane is usually only used for short periods of travel because of its ever-changing nature. To stay there too long would leave you clueless about how to get back to the Material Plane. And we all know about the Astral Plane, where the departed souls from our plane go. While we don’t have any concrete goals because of our limited knowledge, we do aim to explore the other 9 planes. We don’t know what we’ll find - maybe new life forms or energy or-”

Roman fakes a cough as he exclaims, none-too-quietly, “Nerd alert!”

Logan clears his throat. “Uh, so, we basically aim to explore and research the planes.”

“You don’t say,” he hears Virgil mutter.

God, he can’t imagine living with these people for the next few months.

-

The night before they leave is spent drinking onboard the newly-christened “Starblaster”. Logan makes a face every time he hears the name, but it was suggested by a drunk, giggly Roman and backed up by the equally intoxicated members of his team.

He wants to put as much distance as possible between himself and the twins, so he joins Patton and Kalumnia, who spends half the conversation listening and the other half writing down everything that’s happening. Logan has to admire her penmanship.

“Goodness, I wonder what other planes there are?” Patton wonders aloud.

Logan’s interest is piqued immediately. “Oh! I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot. We know there’s some sort of Celestial Plane because that’s where clerics draw their power from- though I suppose you already know that.”

“I do, but I don’t mind!” Patton smiles.

This guy is infinitely better than the twins, Logan decides. “So that, the Ethereal and the Astral are the planes that have the most impact on ours, so they must be closer or at least, larger and more prominent than the other planes. Therefore, the other planes aren’t likely to bear any sort of intelligent life, but the magic there could be completely different.” Magic that he might possess.

“That’s so cool!”

Kalumnia nods. Her bright, golden eyes watch Logan as he continues to talk, pointed ears perked. Patton asks questions and his own brilliant blue eyes widen whenever Logan mentions something he previously hadn’t known. Even Missy, the security officer Logan has avoided due to the scowl she wears, wanders over and joins the discussion.

For the first time in his life, Logan’s listened to. He could get used to this.

-

It turns out he could and should get used to it because as they leave Phaethon, a thick, suffocating darkness descends on it. They catch a glimpse of 11 other planes before black tendrils shoot out of their plane and pierce the others, and slowly drag it into its massive, incomprehensible form.

“Head for the rift!” Logan yells as his Captain maneuvers them through space.

Columns shoot out at them but the Starblaster dodges them with ease. Alarms blast, ringing sharp and shrill as they rocket towards the two suns, picking up speed each nanosecond.

He, Kalumnia, Thomas and the twins are huddled at the front, staring straight forward into the divide.

Patton and Missy are the only ones brave enough to watch as everything they’ve ever known, everyone they’ve ever loved, is consumed.

They just have to get to the rift. If they do that, they can break through to another plane. They can survive, they can run. They just have to get through, and they’re almost there, so close-

“Right!” Logan cries. Whatever’s attacking comes through the rift, barrelling straight for them.

Thomas jerks his controls to the right, tilting the ship so far that Logan crashes into the side.

His crewmates scream as they collide with something, sending them spiralling through space. Hungry black surrounds them, reaching out, trying to ensnare them and pull them in, but it only ends up flinging them in another direction.

“Change of plans!” Thomas yells, lifting his controls high, trying to break free.

The monster makes one last desperate grab, colliding with the bottom of their ship with a loud clang!

They’re flipped end over end, further and further from the rift. Further from the other planes. Logan’s head bounces off of hard metal, his body thrown around like a sack of bricks. There’s a snap, and then burning pain shoots through his right arm. His vision fades as the pain magnifies, becoming so intense it's unbearable. The panicked yells of his teammates seem so distant, but he manages to pick out a scream of “Roman!” and Patton making one last, desperate effort to heal them.

Black greets him soon after.

-

YEAR 1.

Pure, white light surrounds him. Threads of light stitch him together, restoring his body, and it’s not long before it unravels and reveals the rest of the IPRE members. Logan watches as its wisps are drawn away and disappear from sight, fading into the night sky. Except… he’s on the Starblaster’s deck. So it’s not the sky, it’s… It’s space.

There’s not a single scratch on any of them - apart from the battlescars Missy shows off proudly, but they had always been there. Nothing shows that they had just survived an attack on their home planet, unless… Unless they didn’t survive? Or Logan dreamt it? Or…

A sob breaks the stunned silence surrounding them. Virgil pushes past Logan as he runs toward Roman, tackling him to the floor.

“You died!” He screams. “You died. You were dead. I saw it; I saw your body in front of me, Ro. How are you- how could you-”

Roman pries his arms out from under Virgil and wraps them around his brother. “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here,” he murmurs, stroking Virgil’s purple hair. His eyebrows are knitted together, trying to remember what happened.

Logan does the same.

“Are we- did we die?” Patton whispers. “Where are we? Where’s Thomas?”

At that, Logan realises that there are only six of them. He bolts towards the cockpit. The rest of the team, barring the twins who seem content to fuss over each other, follow in hot pursuit.

The door slams open as the four of them charge through. There, at the controls, is their Captain.

He bolts out of his chair and spins around, hands raised as he readies a spell. When he sees his crew, his whole body relaxes and he goes limp. Missy rushes forward to steady him.

“You’re- you all disappeared,” Thomas breathes out as he’s lowered to the floor. “You all were taken by this- by this light, and then I was surrounded too! I came to back in this chair and you were all gone. I thought- I thought I was alone.” His voice drops to a whisper at the end there and even Logan has to inhale deeply to stop the panic that rises when he imagines being forever alone in space.

Patton grabs Logan’s wrist, pulling him towards Thomas and Missy, and Logan doesn’t fight it when he’s scooped into a hug.

Patton’s arms may not be able to reach around all of them, but they’re warm and comfy and remind him of his parents. At least they didn’t die at the hands of that… thing.

Logan’s the first to pull away. “We need to take stock of what we know and what we have. Our first priority is to figure out what that being was and if it’s going to attack us again. Then…” His gaze catches sight of a plane. And another. And another! Excitement stirs inside him. “Then we explore.”

-

It takes them around ten minutes to realise that the twelve planes they’re flying around are completely different from theirs. It takes Logan two days to draw the conclusion that by not jumping through the rift and being thrown off course, they somehow managed to enter a new… planar system? Reality? He couldn’t say.

Basically, there’s no going back home - if their world even still exists.

Roman and Virgil are the only ones who don’t seem to care at all.

Logan doesn’t know much about them (other than the fact that they delight in tormenting him) so he doesn’t want to judge, but their carefree attitude is somewhat rude to Patton, Missy and Thomas who are in mourning.

On the third day, they decide to test their luck on this new Material Plane. As Thomas eases the Starblaster into it, they’re greeted with luscious green forests and wide, stretching savannahs and grasslands and mountains-

The likelihood of that is astounding, and Logan spends quite some time with Kalumnia chronicling the biomes of this planet.

But that’s about where the similarities end. There are no oceans, though there are lakes and rivers, so water isn’t a problem. However, the fauna is even more interesting.

The population of this strange place is mostly made up of giant creatures that are up to ten, twenty, thirty times their tiny, Phaethonian frames.

“Now I’m not the only dwarf,” Patton jokes when they first hover above the planet, trying to find a safe place to land. Logan lets out a stunned laugh, but it's more from the joy of a new discovery than anything else.

-

That night, Logan lays on the deck of the Starblaster, admiring the countless new constellations and planes, all his to explore!

It’s so clear, up here on a mountain in an undeveloped world, far from artificial light sources. It’s serene, it’s beautiful, it’s-

“Ro, let him be a nerd in peace.” Virgil’s furious whisper cuts through the pristine air and immediately, Logan has a sour taste in his mouth.

“Hush, brother.”

Logan resolutely keeps gazing up at the stars, ignoring as Roman’s boots clack against the metal. He ignores it when they stop by his head, and he continues to pretend Roman doesn’t exist even when he plonks himself down beside him.

“You’re missing out on a glorious feast, you know,” Roman says at last.

Logan tries to detect the sarcasm or the hidden meaning, but he either needs to brush up on his social skills or there isn’t any. Which, coming from Roman, is impossible.

He slides his eyes to his left. In the starlight, Roman’s usual vibrant red robe and equally crimson hair are paler, softer. Instead of his constant smirk and perfect death stare, he seems almost wistful as he too stares into the sky. Logan tears his gaze away and clears his throat.

“I’m fine with freeze-dried cubes of nutrition.”

Roman laughs, and that too is gentle compared to the harsh delight Logan had committed to memory after only a few days. It’s hard not to memorise it when it’s being directed at you more often than not. “Weren’t you the one talking about rationing? C’mon, Lo, me and Virge went through all that effort to take down one of those beasts! Aren’t you going to at least try it?”

Maybe Roman just has a really annoying whiny-voice or maybe he’s hungrier than he thinks because Logan actually considers it. Then he remembers that they don’t know if the meat on this planet is even edible, let alone feast-worthy. “Who said you could call me Lo?” he replies instead. It comes out harsher than he intends.

Roman scoffs and jumps up on his feet. Logan frowns and looks up at him, only to find a scowl as Roman avoids his eyes. “Fine, whatever. Sorry for trying to include you, I guess.” The clacking of his shoes is considerably louder as Roman stomps back to his twin, who murmurs a quiet “I told you so.”

Logan’s insides squirm uncomfortably. Something in him urges him to apologise, but he fights back the feeling. He didn’t do anything wrong. He just wanted to ensure the food wasn’t going to kill him. What’s so wrong with trying to survive?

(Later that night, he sneaks into the kitchen and finds a plate with a slab of meat and a couple of roots. He throws away the note that reads “You’re welcome -R” and braces himself for the first forkful of his new diet. Instead of the strange, bland flavour Logan expected, when he bites into the mouth-wateringly tender meat, he’s met with an explosion of tastes. He can see why Thomas insisted on tasking both Roman and Virgil with cooking now.)

-

The Light of Creation falls early the next day. Logan misses it (again), but when he wakes up, it’s to Thomas flying the Starblaster at breakneck speed towards where it fell.

“Why has it come here?” Patton asks. No one has an answer.

They find it a few hours later, and already, the surrounding fauna looks… smarter?

There’s a cacophony of sound as a mixture of bleets, honks and moos turn into something singular, cohesive. It’s the sound of language.

“After only this much time?” Logan questions.

“Yeah, well. That’s kind of what happened in our- in Phaethon,” Thomas explains. “When it fell, it didn’t take long for people to start inventing things. You invented your little, uh, cylinder thing-”

“Telescope.”

“Yeah, telescope, when it fell.”

“It was a work in progress!”

“But you only perfected it after the Light, right?”

Logan can’t say for sure, so he stays silent. It’s not like it’s a bad thing to make scientific advancements, it’s just… He wanted it to happen from his own merit. Not because some mythical light suddenly gave him the ability to.

“So,” Virgil pipes up from where he’s leaning against the wall, “should we take it?”

“I really want to steal it,” Roman says.

Logan sighs. “Can we at least see what these animals do with it first?”

“No! I mean, yes, but we shouldn’t steal it,” Patton says, wide-eyed.

“It’s not stealing,” Virgil replies. “It’s not theirs.”

“But it’s not ours either!”

“Not until we take it.” Roman pats Thomas’ shoulder. “C’mon, Cap, let’s get this thing.”

They wait a week and then bring the Light onboard.

-

In the following months, Virgil and Roman rope Patton into learning the new animal language and over dinner, they talk in a series of grunts and honks that make Logan infuriated. He pretends he isn’t trying to figure it out by delving into the food (still as delicious as the first time, if not more) but at some point, Virgil and Roman confront him.

“Want us to teach you?” Roman asks, and Logan, pride be damned, nods.

-

Missy starts building herself a home. She gets Logan to make a saw and then she chops down a tree (and she only needs the one). After a month, she has a nice home that she and Kalumnia often stay in.

Patton studies the flora while Logan studies the fauna, and together they help Kalumnia with her chronicling of this world. Dwarves must have some connection with a nature god because the plants lean into Patton’s gentle touch. Flowers spring up underneath his fingers and he thrives out in the jungle.

Thomas remains on the ship, but he’s never alone. They meet up for dinner every night (Missy loves climbing a mountain every day, for some weird reason) and they talk about the progress they’re making in this world.

Logan can speak the language too now, and even though he hated it before, more often than not he, Roman, Virgil and Patton are communicating in it.

It’s a nice rhythm they’ve settled into. Logan thinks he could get used to this.

-

Another month passes. Everything goes to shit.

Patton notices it first. The grass is dull; the wind quiet. The sky is darker and the lakes are no longer a clear crystal blue. He tells the others about this and Logan wonders if it’s because of their ship, or their presence, or maybe the Light.

He’s answered a few hours later when the 13th plane arrives.

Its form is bigger this time. Darker. More violent. Shadows pierce down from the sky and form humanoid shapes - some short and stocky, some with pointed ears, some who look human - and Logan’s struck with a terrifying realisation that these shadows are people from Phaethon. Or, he should say, were.

Logan and Patton aren’t far from the ship, and the twins, although they like to explore, have been sticking close by recently. Kalumnia had already been in her study onboard, and Thomas is at the controls when Logan enters. Missy, however…

As Thomas brings the ship up into the sky, the rest of them search desperately for Missy. They know they can’t stay too long. This thing, this beast, it’s stronger. Smarter. They need to escape before one of the shimmering black columns pierces their ship and they’re bound to this plane.

“There!” Virgil cries, his elven eyes picking up Missy’s struggling form.

She’s fighting valiantly, taking out multiple shadows with just one swing of her axe. The animals around her stomp and charge, but it’s not enough.

“I can’t get close enough!” Thomas says, weaving the ship through the black.

“Fine!” Roman shouts, and then he runs out of the cockpit and onto the deck, then flings himself overboard.

Virgil rushes to the edge. “Bro, what the fuck?!” He calls, before he too leaps over the railing.

They see the twins float downwards, blasting off spells as they go, and it’s not long before they’re down there fighting with Missy.

Roman’s body becomes a force of fire, burning bright as he flings massive fireballs into the fray. Virgil summons a massive bolt of lightning and the resulting thunderclap is so loud it hurts Logan’s ears.

“We have to go,” Thomas murmurs. Logan and Patton’s heads whip to him. “We have to go, now!” He says more forcefully this time, and Patton starts arguing with him.

“We can’t leave them behind!”

“If we don’t leave then that’s just more carnage, more bodies for that thing to consume. We’re leaving.”

Logan has never, ever, heard such a cold voice coming from Thomas. But he understands.

“Look, Patton,” he begins, “when we left Phaethon, I died. And so did Roman. But we came back. I don’t know how, and I don’t know if it will keep happening, but we need to leave. Or else there’s no hope for them.”

Patton tries to argue, but Thomas is already flying them away, out of the Plane, then out of the Planar System. He doesn’t react when Patton pulls at his arms, trying to get him to turn around. He’s not cold, he’s calculating. Thomas- Captain Sanders is making an executive decision and Logan knows he can’t change it.

The black follows them, and he sees it withdrawing from the planet in favour of pursuit. The cogs in his head turn as the white threads from a year ago weaves around them again, and Logan manages to cry out “It wants the Light!” before he’s wrapped up entirely.

-

YEAR 2.

Logan wakes up on the deck of the Starblaster, Virgil behind him. Like last time.

He furrows his brows and races back to the cockpit, and sure enough, his captain is there.

When everyone piles in, Logan’s in the middle of theorising.

“Every time we leave a planar system, we’re brought back to our original positions,” Logan says, mostly to himself but Kalumnia starts to transcribe what he’s saying in her journal. “That thing-”

“The Hunger!” Roman supplies.

“Not your most creative name.”

“Got a better one, Virge?”

“Fine, the Hunger wants the Light of Creation. When we left with the Light, it left the planes alone and tried to follow us. When did the Light fall on Phaethon?”

“About a year before the Hunger came,” Kalumnia murmurs.

“And it was about a year after the Light that the Hunger found us on that plane, too!” Logan clasps his hands together and straightens up. “Is there a blackboard on this ship?”

Kalumnia nods and leads them to her study, then wordlessly hands Logan a piece of chalk.

It’s the first time Logan has been in here, and he’s blown away by the countless journals and books from their home planet that remain on the sturdy oak bookshelves. There are also sketches pinned to a corkboard, mostly depicting the strange life they had encountered on the other planet. They’re only sketches, but the extraordinary amount of detail blows him away. How had Kalumnia kept this to herself all this time?

He shakes his head and gets to work. “So, what do we know?” He asks, then divides the board in two. He labels one column “Already Know” and the other “Need to Know”, then scribbles some notes in the former.

“The Hunger’s shadows looked like Phaethonians,” Missy says.

“Yeah, but they could change their form at will. I would blast one with fire and the black would disperse before coming together as a new Phaethonian.”

“It was stronger this time,” Virgil adds, shaking ever so slightly. Roman wraps an arm around him.

Logan nods and continues scrawling. “That means that when it consumes a plane, it adds it to its… collection. Its army.”

“We just left a plane full of massive creatures! How are we supposed to fight that?!” Roman exclaims.

“Well, no. As I said previously, when we left, it followed us. It started to withdraw from the Plane.”

Patton turns to Logan. “You mentioned the Light before we- we reformed. Why would it want that?”

He shrugs. “That’s why we have a Need to Know column,” he answers, then adds that exact question to the board.

“A better question,” Virgil steps forward and takes the chalk from Logan, “is how are we reforming?” He looks around expectantly.

“There’s this light that surrounds us - almost like thread.”

“I think I know what that is,” Captain Sanders says at the same time Kalumnia adds, “It’s the Bond Engine.”

Seeing their blank looks, both of them shake their head.

“We’ve been living on this ship for a year. How do you not know what the Bond Engine is?” Kalumnia has a rare smile on her face as she and the Captain launch into an explanation.

“The Bond Engine doesn’t use any fuel, it runs on bonds.”

“Bonds are what tie us to the Planar System. They’re the experiences and the connections we have to the planes, and it allows us to travel between them without the risk of ending up in a black hole.”

“How come we were able to leave both Phaethon’s System and the other one?” Patton asks.

Kalumnia and Thomas shrug, but Logan’s quick to reply. “It must be the Hunger. We haven’t been able to leave any Planar System until it comes. It must… cut our bonds with the planes. That would mean we don’t have ties to the Astral Plane, so if we die, we don’t go there. Instead, the Bond Engine brings us back onto the ship, in our original positions.”

“So what I’m hearing is,” Roman begins with a grin that he shares with Virgil, “we’re basically immortal, right?”

“No, because we do still die, we just come back-”

“Technicalities, technicalities,” Roman dismisses. “Anyway, this year I’m going to do some wild shit!”

“If you die on me, I’m going to be so fucking pissed,” Virgil threatens, but he also seems excited to be able to do whatever without consequences.

-

The Light falls into an ocean. They’re unable to retrieve it when the Hunger comes and instead, fly away as soon as they see its black pillars descend. Call them cowards, but at least there wasn’t much life on this planet to begin with. If there was any, it’s all gone now.

-

YEAR 5.

Logan hadn’t meant to become friends with the twins. It’s more like that they decided they were going to hang out with him, and he hasn’t been able to shake them since.

He finds he doesn’t mind, which is a feat in and of itself, considering he hasn’t had friends for the roughly four decades he had been alive for.

-

One night, they’re stargazing. Well, Logan is.

Roman and Virgil are wrestling each other next to him and surprisingly, Virgil wins.

“How are you so strong?” Roman whines, flexing his arms to show off his quite impressive muscles.

Virgil shrugs. “I chug my bone juice,” he replies, and Logan decides not to question what he means by that. “Do you give up yet?”

Roman laughs and charges Virgil. His momentum carries him forward and he crashes into his twin, then he swipes his leg out from under him and pins Virgil to the ground. “Take that!”

“Oof, my bones,” he deadpans, and Roman helps him up.

“Are you two done?” Logan asks.

Instead of insulting him, like they would’ve done five years ago, they nod and sit beside him. Logan’s chest flutters when Roman leans into him easily, knee gently bumping his own every now and again.

“So,” Virge begins, and judging by the glint in both his and Roman’s eyes, Logan has a right to be worried.

“We were thinking,” Roman continues, “that we don’t know much about you.”

“And we know everything about each other!”

“So why not tell us about yourself?”

Logan sighs. “What do you want to know?”

Virgil considers this, then asks, “Do you have a last name?”

“No.”

“Cool,” Roman says, “It’s Bluejeans now.”

“What?” Logan splutters. “You can’t just give people last names! And these jeans are comfortable and practical!”

“Whatever you say, Mr Bluejeans, sir,” Virgil mock salutes.

Logan tries to argue with them, but it’s clear he’s getting nowhere. “Fine! Have it your way, Virgil… Purplehoodie.”

Virgil laughs, and okay, it wasn’t his best work, but it’s not like Bluejeans is any better. “So what? Roman and I are twins. Does that make him Roman Purplehoodie? I don’t see a fucking hoodie, nor anything purple. That doesn’t make sense, Lo.”

Logan doesn’t react to the nickname. Instead, he exclaims, “Neither does Bluejeans!”

“You wear blue jeans!” Roman protests.

“And your brother wears a purple hoodie!”

“Not all the time!”

“Almost all the time!”

“Oi, keep it down!” Missy shouts from somewhere inside the ship. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“Don’t worry, we’re just playing card games in here!” Patton tells them.

“They ain’t need to know that!”

Even though Missy was bluffing, they stop arguing.

“Do I get to ask a question now?”

“Fine, shoot Mr Bluejeans.”

“I’m never going to get rid of that name, am I?” Both Virgil and Roman shake their heads. “Alright. Can I ask a question now?”

The twins glance at each other and shrug. “Seems fair.”

Logan ponders for a moment. He doesn’t really have any burning questions, but he supposes there had been one thing he was always curious about. “Are you two identical?”

Virgil’s gaze flashes to Roman, then back at Logan. The movement is so quick he almost misses it.

Roman leans back on his palms and puts on an easy smile. Logan knows that he’s only pretending, but he doesn’t get the chance to backpedal before Roman answers him. “Nope,” he pops the p.

Logan waits a moment, then opens his mouth when no explanation follows, but Roman must have changed his mind about how much he wants to share.

“I’m trans,” he blurts. Logan watches as Virgil’s arm snakes around his brother and studies Logan for his reaction.

He doesn’t miss a beat as he says, “Oh, but you look too alike to not be identical.” It’s awkward and kind of clumsy, but he genuinely means it in an “I thought you were identical twins” way and not a “How can you possibly look so masculine?” way. Virgil and Roman seem to pick up on it, at least.

“Genetics, dumbass,” Virgil replies, and the three of them laugh. “Honestly, the scientist should know this!”

“I’m an astrophysicist, not a biologist.”

“Those words? Fake.”

“You can’t call words fake.”

“All words are fake!” Roman and Virgil retort at the same time.

Logan goes to argue. Then he considers it. And okay, maybe they have a point. Especially their words. He’s not sure if they’ll find another Planar System that speaks Common - or any of Phaethon’s languages, in fact. It doesn’t stop him from wanting to learn the others’ languages though, so he gathers up the courage to ask a second question.

“Would you two mind teaching me Elven?”

-

YEAR 12.

It’s a good thing he’s fluent in Elven now, because this new place is entirely elves. It’s literally called Elfington.

He and the twins have no problem fitting in, and to their surprise, neither does Kalumnia.

She shrugs and with an abashed smile she admits, “I know all of Phaethon’s languages.”

Roman and Virgil share a wide-eyed look. “That’s how you always knew about our pranks!”

“We thought you were a mindreader or something!” Roman adds.

Kalumnia laughs. “I do know that spell, but I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that.”

-

That year, he and the twins almost exclusively talk to each other. Kalumnia joins in on their exploits around town, and Logan notes that she’s much less reclusive than at the beginning of their journey. He supposes over a decade of selective company would result in that.

Wait. Holy shit. Had they really been doing this for a decade?

Logan catches a glimpse of himself in a store window. At fifty, he expects wrinkles around his eyes like the ones Patton’s had since day one, but no. There aren’t creases in his forehead, no grey hairs, nothing. For all intents and purposes, he hasn’t changed one bit.

Maybe Roman and Virgil weren’t too far off when they joked about immortality.

“And they call me vain!” Roman huffs as he comes to stand beside him. Despite his comment, he leans in to fix his hair in the reflection, running his slender fingers through newly-dyed red. It’s like this at the beginning of every cycle, and for the past week they’ve been on Elfington, all Roman has talked about were the hairdressers and the possibility of dye.

Logan’s friend is always excited when they begin a new year just because he gets the colour back in his hair. He suspects Virgil shares the same enthusiasm, but at least he doesn’t talk his ear off about how he should be able to invent dye when it starts to fade. For starters, he’s an astrophysicist, and secondly, he’s busy, thank you very much.

He wants to study the Light. Considering it has such a big impact on both the Starblaster crew and whatever plane it falls on, they need to learn more about it. Maybe one of these cycles, they can find a way to fight off the Hunger.

Logan doesn’t know how that would work, but this new world that’s positively teeming with life renews his motivation. He doesn’t want to see them get destroyed. He doesn’t want them to fall to the Hunger.

They’ve already recovered it so he wastes no time in setting up experiments.

Around the second month, Roman starts popping into the Starblaster to “make sure he isn’t nerding too hard” (his words, not Logan’s). At first, it’s only for a few minutes. Roman asks a few questions about what he’s doing, Logan responds with questions about what he and Virge have been up to, and then Roman goes back to Elfington.

As time passes, Roman grows more and more keen to help. It gets to the point where Roman and Logan do their experiments together. Kalumnia records for them, keeping track of what they’ve found (the Light of Creation emits waves of some form of energy) and what they need to know (what the fuck is that energy). Missy mostly makes sure that the pair eat and drink when necessary, occasionally throwing them over her shoulder and dragging them to bed.

Even Captain Sanders checks in on their progress (and with the two of them working together, it’s truly remarkable)!

The only one who keeps his distance is Virgil.

Logan finds out the reason for this on their tenth month.

It’s a typical afternoon. Logan had visited Elfington for last-minute supplies, and he had been carrying armfuls of metal parts and spell components when he heard low voices around the corner, where his newly-appointed lab was.

He pauses. He quickly figures that one must be Roman (he had told him to go ahead, but he must have wanted to wait) and therefore the other is Virgil. He considers making his presence known, but it sounds like they’re arguing. And the twins never do that.

He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, honestly.

“I know why you’re doing this,” Virgil hisses. “You want to stay here.”

“I do not! And even if I did, what’s wrong with that? We haven’t had a home since we were fucking twelve, why can’t you just settle down?”

“This isn’t about that and you know it.” When Virgil continues to speak, his voice loses the anger and instead takes on a much softer tone. “Roman, we have the Light. There’s nothing else we can do for them.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do! In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been doing this thing for over a decade. We either get the Light and some people die, or we don’t and everything gets consumed by the Hunger. We’ve tried fighting it, we’ve died, and honestly, I don’t give a shit about the planes anymore!”

“How can you say that?” Roman murmurs. Logan’s equally surprised by that revelation.

“Look,” Virgil sighs. “We’ve been to like, four planets with life on it. And each time, we decide it’s a grand idea to make friends! Why not build our bonds? But at the end of the year, it’s the same thing. We fly away and we watch those people get torn apart into nothing. They’re dust. We’ve only had each other for so long, and you and the other five people on this ship are the only people I can count on. Everyone else? They’re dust, Roman. If we see them as anything else, we only get our hearts broken. And I can’t take that. Not for however long we’re stuck on this ship, going through the motions.”

Roman’s silent for a long time. Eventually, though, he says, “You’re lying.”

“What?”

“You’re lying,” he repeats, more forcefully. “You can try and pretend like you don’t care, but I’ve seen you with those kids. I know you care about them as much as I do. And I know you’ll fight for them at the end of the year.”

“Because they’re us, Ro!” Virgil’s outburst shocks Logan. He knows he definitely shouldn’t be listening at this point, but he’s frozen in place. “I mean, seriously? Two elven siblings, living on the road? When I see them, all I see is me and you as preteens forcing ourselves to entertain sickos by streetfighting just so we can eat. All I see is you giving me your one jumper because you know I hate the cold even though you were freezing just as much. All I see is us fighting over who should have the last scrap of food, not because we wanted it, but because we wanted the other to eat. So, of course, I’m going to fight for them. But at the end of the day, if it comes to saving you or saving those children, there’s no choice.”

Logan hears Virgil stomp the opposite way and when he’s sure Roman’s alone, he steps into the corridor.

Roman’s back is to him. Logan takes another cautious step forward, then another, and as he gets closer, he can see how he’s shaking. Roman’s fists are clenched at his sides, head hanging low.

“Roman?”

Roman straightens his back and raises one hand to his face. Logan can’t see what he’s doing, but when the hand comes back wet and Roman turns around with red eyes and a watery smile, he can hazard a guess.

“Hey, Lo!” he greets, far too cheery. “Let’s get to work!”

He doesn’t have time to ask what’s wrong because Roman grabs his arm and pulls him into the lab. All day, he interrupts Logan when he goes to offer comfort, and his smile is too wide, too forced. Logan doesn’t understand why he feels sad too.

-

At the end of the year, Roman pulls all-nighters alongside Logan. He and Virgil have long since made up, but his brother still steers clear of the lab. Logan doesn’t blame him - he’s never heard the pair fight before, and he’s sure it’s something they want to avoid.

Roman’s project that he had Logan helping him with is almost complete. It radiates a golden hue and its form almost replicates the Light exactly. It’s far from perfect, but it might just work. At this point, that’s all they can really hope for.

When the Hunger comes, they’re ready. Roman and Logan order Thomas to bring the ship over a mostly empty country (some mountains bordering an ocean) and they fling the fake Light down, watching as it splashes in the water. Immediately, the black smog that was chasing them dives down.

The Starblaster uses this chance to dart away, hurtling through the skies at breakneck speeds and it's not long until they breach Elfington’s atmosphere. The Hunger chases them, having figured out what they’ve done, and it seems angrier, more determined.

Little darts of black break free of its form and head for the ship, determined to bring them down. Thomas banks right, then left, before dipping down low. The other IPRE members have long since learnt their lesson about seatbelts, but they do rub at their necks during this process.

Roman and Logan share a smile. Most of Elfington was saved. Not just some, most.

Maybe they can win.

-

A/N That was the first part of Infinitesimal! If you enjoyed it, feel free to ask questions/scream to me about it because this is possibly one of my favourite concepts and I will take any opportunity to talk about it.

I hope I was clear with the whole Planary System stuff. If not, there’s more of an explanation coming in the following parts as well as some romance and maybe a touch of necromancy! Who knows? ;)

[ideadumpingground]

What You Left Behind

This is a small idea I had both for an OC and a fanfic in the universe of TFEW! TFEW is an amazing DnD podcast that does not only have a phenomenal DnD story, but a meta story that takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. Thus, we have this little idea taking place in their meta universe <3

There it was again. The sound of something large moving through the air; the rushing wind; the beating propellers. Around and around it goes with its heavy weight only supported by those endlessly spinning blades. One mistake, and you are dead. One mistake and its lifeless eye glows red, pulsating, its weapons whirring as they power up. Within just a few seconds, all that you had ever been, all that anyone could ever be, was turned into gore, into a red smear on the dark, cracked ground below. All that was left was the silence, the echoing emptiness of a life lost and meanwhile that horrible drone just kept going as if nothing at all had happened. As if nothing was missing. 

Once upon a time, he had seen it happen. Hell, the noise, the strawking noise so piercing, so painful in its suddenness. Worst of it all had been the silence following it. Worst of all had been the silence, and the implications of it. That day he had lost his best friend, his one companion, his light in the dark, cruel world that he now found himself in. After that, he was alone again. Only, loneliness had never been that heavy.

At first, he had simply tried to just go on, remember the words his brother had told him so many times before; the promises they had given each other; the words of love and deep, tender care. How many times had he not promised him that if either of them passed, if an accident happened, the other would continue on? How many times had he not asked him to promise the same and the relief when he did? Never had he thought that his brother would be the one to go first. Never had he realised how much his presence meant to him.

Perhaps, it was the fact that the two of them had gotten out of True Reality together. They were side by side when they unplugged, side by side when they realised what hid beneath the sleek, beautiful world that True Reality tried to be was a horror beyond comprehension. If he was honest with himself, when his brother first brought up the idea of a darkness hidden beneath it all, he had not believed it. Before the horror that the lies he had been fed was, all he had been able to do was dismiss it. After all, with so many hours of endless entertainment; how could he ever think that it was a bad thing? There was no way. Now in hindsight, however, he knew that when his companion first brought forth the idea, there had never been a doubt in his mind. He had just been scared, that was all. Terrified.

And here he was again, terrified once more.

Above him, the sound of the drone slowly drifted away, leaving behind only the creaking of the metal, the sound of sand drifting in from the crack in the door. Luckily enough for him, those drones had not found him yet. After the accident, there was no way he could bring himself to go back to the home he once shared with his brother, to the bunker that they had first found together after they fled from the horrifying lie that True Reality was. Together they had made a home, but a home now lost to the silence that always followed death. Instead, he had found a new place in a strange building that reminded him a bit of the 4D cinemas in True Reality. It was nothing in comparison to what code could do to the human brain, but the big hall; the empty chairs; the high ceiling; it was all beautiful in a way that he had never seen before.

There is beauty in everything, even in this destroyed world

Those words still filled his heart to this day. After hearing it repeated over and over again like some sort of a mantra by his brother, it was stuck. Some nights when the sound of distant bombs, when the screaming became too much, he had heard his brother whisper it over, and over again into the dark, cramped space. Now, he found himself thinking about them more than he ever thought he would. After all, his brother had been right, had he not? For months after his brother's death, he lost himself more and more to the sound of the drone, to the creaking of the metal that surrounded him, to the endless supply-runs and the memory of blood that they all brought back to him. No longer did he feel like himself, feel human at all. He felt more akin to the drone outside, to its mechanical, endless cycle, than the humanity that once made him unplugged. Now, he knew that he had been losing himself. He knew that he had stood before a drop so terrifying in its implications, and at the time he had almost been blind to it.

Until, he one day stumbled upon something he never thought he would feel again - humanity. At first, as he changed the channels of his radio just to listen to static rather than the ever creaking metal, he had thought nothing of it when the static was replaced with voices. Unaware of it all, he had merely stopped endlessly changing, and stopped to listen. Eventually, he never changed the channel again. Instead, all he could do was wait. All he could do was wait for those voices to return. It was about that time that he realised what it all was. Those voices on the radio, on the broadcast, they were human. They were so painfully, beautifully human. All those months, he had always avoided Robyn, and now he had found something else. Someone else.

There is beauty in everything

Yes. No matter how dark things were, how lonely he became, the fact was undeniable. There was a beauty in everything. There was always something beautiful to find, if one just opened themselves up to listening. In the end, they were what saved him, he knew that all too well. For so long, he had felt as if there was nothing left, nothing at all left in this cruel world, but then he found it again. Hope entered his heart once more as he listened to the confirmation that there were indeed people outside of True Reality that still lived, that still laughed, that still loved, that joked, that played. And he listened. Week after week after week, he listened. Together with those strangers, he laughed quietly for the first time since the loss of his brother. He cried, but they were no longer tears of desperate hopelessness, but of emotions he had been void of for so long. In their voices, in their stories, he found hope, he found strength, he found determination. As their voices filled his heart with hope, his conviction grew.

There was no way he would let himself sit there forever, no way he could let his brother's memory die with him. If there were people out there fighting, out there living, he wanted to find them, he wanted to join them, needed to. Thus, he had packed the backpack that now stood leaning against his leg where he was seated in front of his radio. Everything he could possibly need was therein; food and water to last weeks, a torch, a knife, clothes, a portable radio with headphones that he had somehow managed to find after weeks of searching, and the drawing he had made of his brother. All was ready for departure and his heart was hammering in his chest, its beats sending shivers of anticipation through his body, filling him with a nervous energy that made him almost tremble. Yet, he remained calm, remained strong, remained sure. Soon, he knew they would come on once more. They were his signal. They were his hope. The drone was long gone, and now was a better chance than ever.

The radio filled with a stronger static, its white noise a melody he was long used to, but he could hear the familiar tones, the familiar ways that always came before a broadcast. His grip of his backpack grew tighter as he took a deep breath.

"My name is Saga" he began whispering to himself, his voice hoarse from months without speaking, from his isolation, yet strong with a conviction that finally stilled that hammering heart of his even as it broke. For a moment, he merely breathed, before he cleared his voice and continued speaking in a hushed, quiet voice. "My name is Saga and my brother's name was Anders. This is the day I’ll finally try to find people again” the more he spoke, the more he felt the strength course through him, could hear his voice grow stronger, steadier. “I will join their cause against Portablyat. I’ll fight for a better future, for Anders, for everyone that have died at the hands of those monsters.”

“I-I know none of you can hear me, but I'm coming to join you” his voice grew into a whisper once more, though a small smile played on his lips, a weak one cracked by months of pain. “I don't know where you are, or how even to find you, but Strawk! I will find you! Kevin, Mitch, Jemarc, Manny. Thank you for showing me that there is still love in this broken world. Thank you for reminding me that I can’t give up"

Tears were welling up in his eyes, his heart heavy with the loss of his brother, but light with a hope that made him smile even as his eyes stung, even as the cold, salty tears were rolling down his cheeks. In front of him, the radio made a scratching sound once more before he heard their voices, their familiar voices that had told him stories of three characters that found companionship in each other despite their circumstances, that found hope even as they were in literal Hell. Again, he could hear their laughing voices, and his heart filled with a calm, with a steadiness he had not felt for a long, long time. Yes. Somehow, he was going to find them, he was going to join them, and they were all going to survive.

There was always beauty, even in this broken world, and Saga had found beauty in a tale told by friends. On the radio, Mitch finally spoke the words that Saga loved to hear, and with them, he hoisted up his backpack on his shoulders. With another steadying breath, he dried the remnants of tears on his cheeks, and looked at the radio one final time.

"So, are you guys ready to play?" Mitch asked his friends as Saga left his bunker to join the fight for freedom.

[mrsmummifikation]

You reblog a lot of stuff of taz, is it cool and where do I start reading/watching/listening? (idk what is it abour)

OH. Okay. Yes. Yes, it is cool.

So, The Adventure Zone was actually just a special episode of the McElroy brothers’ podcast My Brother, My Brother and Me that became its own series after they received positive feedback. Griffin is the DM in a game of dungeons and Dragons that stars his two brothers, Justin and Travis, and his father, Clint.

Griffin knows how to play, Travis played once years before, and the other two know next to nothing about how it’s played, which makes for a really, really fun game and a hilarious story.

As someone who has only had a couple chances to play dnd and barely knows the rules, I really enjoyed it. So, even if you know nothing about dnd, I feel like it’s easy to follow.

Travis plays a human named Magnus Burnsides. He likes dogs and woodcarving and is miraculously good at everything he does. He rushes into situations without thinking and is always ready to fight for his friends.

Justin plays an elf named Taako. Agood chef and a chaotic-good wizard, he does almost everything for his own benefit or amusement. As the series goes on, he opens up bit by bit, showing his capacity for caring for people outside of himself.

Clint plays a dwarf named Merle Highchurch, a blasé cleric with a flimsy belief in his own god and a penchant for the spell “Zone of Truth”, which he reliably uses at inopportune moments. He is not a very good healer, which the others are quick to point out.

The three of them get into general hijinks that goes from zero to one hundred in a span of a handful of episodes and before you know it, you’re hooked! Seriously, though, the story evolves from a cheesy, funny-ha-ha show to a heart-wrenching, multilayered, but still funny-ha-ha show that kills me.

I started listening to it when I worked graveyards because I was out of podcasts to listen to. It was just to pass time while I worked, I didn’t think anything of it for the first few episodes, but I had to stop a few days later when I found myself attached to the characters and crying my eyes out in the staff bathroom. 

The first episode is available on youtube, but it is long and full of the technical parts of the game, so it was rereleased in a cut version, here. (I like the McElroy brothers, so I listened to the long version so I could hear them stumble through it all, haha.)

All of the episodes are available on Maximum Fun (it is in reverse chronological order starting on page 14, so you have to work your way backwards)

[quirkfics]

Ayyo long time no message, hope im not too late to the party! But like catch me out there wanting to be in the TAZ universe. Partly because of the crack-ass world they created and partly because I just want to live my best DnD Wizard Life™. Like the dnd world is so good and the Tres Horny Boys world is even better. (also highly recommend listening to TAZ if you haven't 10/10 worth)

It’s never too late to answer this question. Tbh, if I could use it as an icebreaker in public settings and not draw really weird attention to myself? I totally would. This is why I’d rather tell my extroverted SO to ask this question for me. SO gets attention, I get to hear interesting answers and make noises of agreement if I have something in common with someone, lol. 

I’m also not entirely familiar with TAZ! I know what it is, and I’ve seen some absolutely gorgeous fanart for it, but like a lot of shows and other podcasts - it’s been on my ‘To Be Consumed’ media list for a while, and I’m just Busy. 3Another magic world though?! Yes, good, I am Interested. 

DnD is another good thing that I participate in only vicariously through others, lol. I’m all about the written roleplay, because even though rolling doesn’t bother me, being put on the spot and having to speak as my chara out loud? Stage fright. SIGH. 

[the-fashiongeek-blog1]

What even is a “fashion geek”? (An Intro Post)

Alright, what even is a “fashion geek”?

     Glad you asked, my friend! You’ve given me a great segue into my blog’s introductory post. “Fashion geek” was a term I started using circa 2012 as a fun way to tag any fashion posts I reblogged to my personal account. It was meant to be a play on the term “fashion week” as well as a reference to the fact that my blog was predominately fandom-centric at the time. (No, it wasn’t a Superwholock blog, though there was some SWL content on there. No shame in admitting to it; I try not to subscribe to cringe culture.)      Of course, I can’t lay claim as the person who coined the term. I’m sure other lovely folx have used it way before me. All the proof I need is the fact that I had to throw an apostrophe into my username because “thefashiongeek” was already taken.      But to answer the actual question, a fashion geek is someone who follows designers switching houses or brand collaborations the same way others follow the latest comic team-ups. Someone who waits for fashion season like they’re waiting for the next season of their favorite show. Someone who is unabashedly enthusiastic about the world of fashion.      So, by definition…me.

…And who are you again?

     Ouch, burned by my own narrative device. Fair, though. You can call me Katie. My full name is a lot longer than that, but I’m gonna keep that on the DL for now. Gotta maintain that air of mystique, you know?      I’m a born and bred Manhattanite, dreaming of the day I make my triumphant return to my hometown. In the meantime, the college town life it is. I love traveling and visiting new museums. Dance, hiking, and bouldering are my favorite ways to keep active. Outside of fashion, my major hobbies are creative writing, costuming, and pretty much any other nerdy thing you can think of. No really; this past weekend I cosplayed a character from a DnD podcast to a renaissance faire. (Really earning my fashion geek title here.)      If you need further proof of my nerdy credentials, I graduated several years ago with a B.S. in Biology and a minor in Geology. My original intention was to become a curator of invertebrate paleontology at a museum. Clearly, such is no longer the case.

How does a scientist wind up getting into fashion? No offense.

     None taken. And, honestly, I’ve been surrounded by it my whole life. Both of my parents are artists. My mom is an art restorer now, but she formerly worked as a runway stylist, a production designer - and even a model for a short time. She was probably the most influential in developing my love of the fashion world. To this day, I love to call her up and hear her opinion on recent collections I’ve loved or hated. (And I might have to liveblog a few of her reactions. She’s one of the funniest people I know.)      I also happen to have a lot of friends and family involved in the fashion business. Then there was the whole “growing up in a fashion capitol” thing. Even though I lived uptown, practically a world away from most of the shows of NYFW, it was nearly impossible to avoid. Our major newspaper had a fashion section. The Metropolitan Museum of Art was only a few blocks from our apartment and holds a special place in my family’s hearts - it was where my parents got engaged after all. During our monthly visits, I always insisted on visiting the Fashion Institute exhibition. I have vivid memories of their shows going as far back as the “Goddesses” exhibition.      The first time I took a real interest in my personal style was when I moved out to a rural town in the middle of seventh grade. Clothing became my way of holding onto my identity as a New Yorker and even inspired a bit of teenage rebellion. More recently, I wound up becoming more interested in fashion through writing, but that’s a post for another day. Long story short, combining my passions for writing and fashion was what inspired me to create this account in the first place.

So what’s this blog going to be?

     Well, for one thing, it’s not going to be a fashion blog. At least, not in the traditional sense. Don’t expect too many #ootd’s - not unless the outfit’s fabulous enough to overwhelm my own self-consciousness. Instead, this blog will focus more on fashion as a whole; opinions of recent seasons, trend reports, discussions about the industry, and so on. But I’ve opened up new Twitter and Instagram accounts under @heyfashiongeek if traditional-style blogging is more your thing.      My intention for this, um, blog is for it to be a kind of gateway into the world of fashion. So many people I know don’t want to get into fashion because it’s something that’s perceived as “frivolous” or “girly”. (I’m not going to get into it now, but trust I have a LOT to say about that one.) Others have avoided it because it seems inaccessible. In future posts, I plan to dispel these rumors and get readers as interested in fashion as I am. A lot of the articles (tentative term; bear with me while I figure things out, please) I have planned are introductions to different aspects of the industry, like the fashion season schedule and what qualifies as haute couture. And, if best comes to best, you’ll have a laugh or two along the way.      Some posts will be a little more personal, or could focus on current events. I might even attempt a video blog and I have a couple other surprises coming up. New articles will be published every other Sunday with daily queued reblogs in between. Once I figure out how to make satisfying fashion edits, I’ll start posting those too. In the future, I hope to post original content more often. For now, I’m just throwing things at a wall to see what sticks. Hopefully, I’ll find out along the way. Full disclosure; I have no clue what I’m doing here. With that being said, I can’t wait to get started!

[miamaroo]

Northern Migration Chapter 15 (Notes + Preview)

  We’re finally inside Wonderland, so you know what that means! I hope everyone is ready and geared up for what is ultimately going to be a very strange version of everyone’s most painful taz arc. Like always, these notes are going to contain spoilers for the new chapter, so make sure to read that first before giving this a read. You have been warned.

Spoilers Ahead!

I think that given the fact that both Taako and Lucretia were wandering Faerun at the same time in search of the same person, it would be a little strange if they didn’t run into each other at some point. I think this scene kind of highlights one of the things I find to be the most interesting part of Taako—how little of a grasp he has on his own emotions. He seems like someone who is guided by really strong feelings, but he doesn’t want to be so he has to twist his logic around to make it seem like he’s in the right. He sort of knows deep down at his anger towards his family has reached irrationality, but it’s easier on himself to just believe that he still has a reason to be upset. This is probably a bonkers interpretation of his character, but it’s a tad too late for me to back out on it now.

Ren doesn’t remember meeting Lucretia because, honestly, it was a long time ago. She hasn’t really put two and two together yet.

Sorry for all the sudden scene changes throughout this chapter. If I wrote out everything in detail like I usually do, we wouldn’t have gotten to Wonderland this chapter.

Carey isn’t gone! We’ll come back to her!

I am legally obligated to have a Magnus and Julia scene every arc where they’re just being a good couple. 

FYI, Davenport got a new wand off screen. I was supposed to have mentioned Magnus and Stevie picking up a new wand for him when they were shopping a few chapters back and I forgot like the damn fool I am.

Fun fact, originally they were going to meet up with Killian, Avi, and Ren outside of Wonderland via realizing that they were being followed. I cut this out for logistical reasons, but there was going to be a gag where everyone got a billboard with their chosen reward on it. Ren’s was going to be an image of one of the Wonderland elves holding a finger over their lips that says “you know” (like the Griffin meme) in order to imply that Taako’s life could be won back. I’m sad that this joke was cut, but ultimately the chapter works better this way.

Okay, this is going to be a whole can of worms. But let’s talk about the actual changes to the Wonderland formula I had to make. As we know, I try not to do a retelling of the podcast. I think it’s both boring to read and impossible with how many changes I’ve already made. So I felt like I couldn’t do Monster Factory again. This time around, our heroes haven’t had forty odd episodes of hunting down monsters. Having a tournament where they can go up against characters that we already know the motivations and abilities of works better thematically. And, honestly, the added drama of that is going to work better in print than a straight up DND fight will. Luckily, in canon we know that the trials of Wonderland changes based upon who’s competing so I hope that this at least isn’t coming out of nowhere.

Trust and Forsake was also met with an unfortunate cut from the story. I tried making it work here, but the fact that it wouldn’t be anonymous really detracted from its effectiveness. It ended up just making the whole process feel bloated. Hopefully, the tournament style will make up for the lost drama.

Also I will mention now that I’m going to do my best to keep the whole tournament MBMBAM themed. 

And, finally, we’re at the wheel spins for Killian, Avi, and Ren. As mentioned in the chapter, Avi took one of Ren’s spins because he didn’t want her to lose any more than she already has. So he got hand and brain which means he lost his left thumb (which will really hurt his ability to do his engineering work) and the knowledge of why he wanted to try to become a member of the militia in the first place. We haven’t really covered much about that yet in his backstory, but just know that he did some things he regrets in order to make it as far as he did in the process. Killian, meanwhile, landed on eye. She sacrificed her ability to see color.

One final note: yes, the spins are going to be a lot meaner than they were in the show. This was still a fairly nice round, though I did try to raise the gravity of it by having Edward not give glasses to Davenport and having Lydia take Avi’s thumb (which is a very important finger). It will get worse, trust me.

And that’s that. That was a whole heck of a lot to go over. Wow. Anyways, here’s your preview for the next chapter. Until next time!

Music that rattles the space between their bones pulses through the air, matching the flashing neon lights as the crowd roars their enthusiasm. Lucretia still tries to yank her feet out of the metal binding her to the ground as Davenport keeps a wary eye between where the Wonderland elves lounge on their thrones to where their enemy team stands in a similar state of frantic confusion.

Julia has her shield in one hand and her sword in another, taking a step back so that she can hear over the music. “Guys, what do I do?” she asks. “This is sadistic.”

“I don’t think they’re going to attack us yet,” Davenport says.

“I can’t get this to…” Lucretia groans and pulls out her wand, muttering angry words under her breath as she fires a spell. The blue sparks of her magic zip over the metal before crackling, turning black as it ricochet’s up her leg. She yelps, dropping her wand as she tendons go rigid.

“Careful.” Julia scoops the wand off the ground and hands it back to her, smoothing her hand over Lucretia’s cheek and shoulder. “Istus all mighty—are you alright?”

“Yes. Thank you.” She winces, squirming as she continues to try to free her legs. “Damn it. That was supposed to be an unlocking spell.”

Up on the elevated dais. Edward throws a lazy head back as he holds up a goblet of wine. “Dear Lydia,” he says. “This is getting a bit boring. I don’t think either team is taking this game too seriously.”

Lydia hums. A wicked grin curls through her lips. “I think it’s time we raise the stakes a bit.” She rises from her throne, coming to the edge of the dais so that the spotlight can shine on her. “For this game, we’re going to need some volunteers from the audience.”

From the audience encircling the arena, beams of light arc through the air—about half a hundred. They strike the ground like meteors, bluish smoke wafting into the air as humanoid figures rise from the wreckage. “A quick rule change—now we’re going to have some new participants playing alongside you guys. If any of them hit either button, then you both will lose and face the penalty.” She flicks her half curtain of hair. “I suggest you protect your button very carefully.”

[diceysitchcast-blog]

Dicey Situations Episode 1: TRANSCRIPT

In this world building/character creation/game building episode, Jess takes us to the city of Pinnacle, a techno-magical dystopia mirrored by the VR world of The Dreaming. She also introduces us to a hybrid home-brew game with elements of of DnD 2.5 and 5e, Normality, and various other systems. There is no actual play in this episode, but we hope you’ll enjoy hearing us talk organize a game and create characters!

Drew exercises his right to bear arms, Ellie achieves robotic sapience, Avery decides to become an intolerant tank, and Ronnie invents a new pronoun.

[NOTE: It's our goal for Dicey Sitch to be as accessible as possible, which is why we want to provide transcripts for every episode we release. We are disappointed to say that transcripts will likely update at a slower pace than audio episodes, which is our own fault. However, we're still dedicated to make sure that transcriptions are released as close to audio episodes as possible. For now, please enjoy Episode 1 of Dicey Situations!]

Dicey Situations!

Season 1: Pinnacle

Episode 1: Have You Seen My Robot?

Jess: The city is made of spun green glass. It fades into the distance and then focuses in. The city’s name is Pinnacle. It’s been around for a few hundred years, and it blossomed from the end of the world.

In this city, there are, well, they’re not really factions, but three different groups of believers. Those that believe magic came back into the world to rise humanity above, those who believe magic is a penance from the Gods, and those that believe magic mostly doesn’t exist, and when it does, it’s more technology than anything.

[Music starts]

In this city, there is the Dreaming: a massive, cyberkinetic, shared VR reality that people use to escape from their own. And in the Dreaming, you do escape. There are sometimes mistakes, sometimes firewalls get breached and people’s properties and lives get destroyed, but no one dies in the Dreaming. Your body can be killed outside, but if you die in the Dreaming, you wake up in real life.

[Music continues, then fades.]

Jess: So! Welcome to Dicey Situations, the.... podcast! It’s... this is the people! Go! Drew!

[laughter]

Drew: I’m Drew. I use he/him/his pronouns. I am an on-again off-again Internet user. I shamelessly use Facebook way too much, and I get paid to do that sometimes.

Ev: My name’s Avery, I use they/them pronouns, I’m agender, and I am on the Internet on Twitter @crapiocaa with two a’s.

Ellie: My name is Ellie, I use she/her pronouns. I’m not giving out my personal tumblr, but my fun tumblr is badlifeadvice.tumblr.com! It’s awesome, it’s full of things you  shouldn’t do, like stalling the intro for a podcast!

[laughter]

Ronnie: I’m Ronnie, I use they/them pronouns! I draw queer comics on the Internet! You can find them at gqutiecomics.com. It’s spelled GQ............ U...TIE comics dot com!

Drew: [sarcastic] “I know what I’m doing!”

Ronnie: I totally know what I’m doing!

Jess: My favorite thing about that was the pause as you had to, like, remember [laughs]

Ev: As Ronnie remembered how to spell their webcomic!

[laughter]

Jess: And I’m Jess! I’m your... I don’t have a fancy name for this session, like, I can be a Dungeon Master or a Keeper, but this is house rules, so I haven’t got a name, so I’m Jess. I use she/her pronouns, and I use this as a coping mechanism, and my comic’s at closertohomecomic.com... if you want it!

Ronnie: It’s great!

Ellie: Why don’t you call yourself the Master Controller?

Drew: You should be a Dungeon Guru!

Ellie: Ooh!

Jess: Maybe I’ll just introduce myself as something different every time.

[laughter]

Drew: I like it!

Ellie: Do it!

Drew: Do it!

Jess: I think Dungeon Guru will work for this week, cause this gonna be all about me, like guiding you down this like, fucking, homunculus, this is... this is a homunculus game you guys.

Ev: I don’t know if that’s the right way to use that word by the way!

[laughter]

Jess: Uh... a chimera?

Ronnie: That makes more sense!

Ellie: Yeah, I was gonna say chimera, but, you know.

Jess: You guys are insurance agents! Clerics and wizards and fighters and rogues hired by an insurance agency to go out and investigate insurance claims. Be they someone suing a corporation, a house being burned down, you guys know what to do.

And... that’s pretty much it so far. That’s my pitch to you guys about your characters. So, it’s future cyberpunk with elves and magic and clerics and stuff and...

Drew: I always wanted to be an insuranceman, so...

Jess: That’s good.

Ev: That’s exactly what I said when I heard about this campaign! [laughs]

Ronnie: Hey Jess!

Jess: Yeah?

Ronnie: In the Dreaming, do people have... avatars?

Jess: Shit of course they...! [laughs] Actually, last night Ev and I, uh, created, oh shit, come on computer, don’t do this to me right now... I know you’re hot... You’re gonna be fine...

Drew: Sexy!

Jess: Yeah I’m sweet talking my computer into working. Ev and I have made a ton of...

Ev: Puns!

Jess: Puns! Pun objects, because we went through, like, the DnD objects list and... like, just kind of updated it to be futuristic. Clerics in this world, and druids, and technomancers, and paladins believe in different kinds of gods, and part of that is they have to maintain a Holy Site, which is like a fansite for their religion!

Drew: Oh!

Ronnie: I love it.

Jess: And then, as one of your perks is that you can get a Church Verified Avatar, which makes you less likely to be hacked!

Ronnie: Eyyyy!

Ev: Yeah, everyone should definitely have the game items list open by the way.

Ellie: Yeah, I just opened it.

Jess: Ev and Ellie kind of have ideas for their characters so if, you guys actually wanna, like, summarize your characters real quick, so Ronnie and Drew know some places that you can go with this...

Ev: Or have you guys looked into it, too?

Jess: Have you guys got any dreams?

Drew: Um, I don’t. Ronnie might. I’ve like, worked the past two evenings, so I’m ready to go now but I haven’t done any homework. I’m a bad student!

[laughter]

Jess: Keeping you after class, young man!

Ronnie: For me, I’m imagining, like, this sort of shitty teenager character, who is like, a teen radical who puts up tech graffiti places...

Jess: [laughs] I love it.

Ronnie: And wants to encourage the rising of the proletariat and stuff.

[laughter]

Drew: You know what would be fun? A like, a middle-aged, kind of balding, really angry person, that actually turns out to just be all those things.

[laughter]

Ev: What kind of class would that be? Would that be like a rogue or something?

[Inaudible because we’re talking over each other like dorks.]

Ronnie: I was thinking Bard, but I don’t think Bard is available, is it?

Jess: It is actually!

Ev: Oh no it is!

Jess: It is totally available!

Ev: That’s an awesome way to be a Bard, actually!

Jess: Yeah, we were trying to figure out how to do Bards, because one of the custom classes for this campaign is LARPer which is similar to Bard but different. LARPers can create different alternate identities and stuff.

Ev: This is my favorite part of the campaign right now.

Drew: Where are the funky different classes?

Jess: I shared the items list, and that has all of the different classes that we have, but mostly the classes are just DnD classes, but with like a little bit of a cyberpunky upgrade. So like, your wizard’s going to be a technomancer, your thief can be a hacker and your rouge can also be a hacker...

Ev: And then of course there’s, you know, LARPers are like, masters of disguise crossed with rogues or thieves basically, right?

Jess: Yeah, they’re masters of disguise, they’re also the ones who can kind of impersonate people, they can doxx people, and like, take on their personality and act like them, and they’re less likely to get caught doing it.

So, so far we have two religious dudes, [laughs] and I feel like, honestly Drew, if you wanted to play a cranky old dude, you can definitely play a cranky old wizard dude...

Drew: Yes.

Jess: ... who’s like, just been showing up for his paycheck at this insurance agency.

[laughter]

Ev: One day away from retirement!

Drew: Oh, that’s when the shit goes down, though!

[laughter]

Ev: Yes!

Drew: “It’s my last day before I retire, guys!”

[laughter]

Drew: “Nothing’s gonna happen to me!”

Jess: Man I sure hope nothing happens to that guy!

Ev: “I sure hope I don’t end up in a Sin City comic!”

Drew: “Ha ha!”

[more laughter]

Jess: So, Ronnie, can I make some suggestions for your Anarchist, like, shitty teen?

Ronnie: Yes.

Jess: Ok, I like the idea of them being a thief or a rogue or a hacker or a LARPer or a combination of that. And I also like either they’re interning at this insurance agency to make money for like, paying rent or something...

Ev: Interns don’t make money!

Jess: Well, my other thought is maybe it’s a community giveback program that the agency is doing to show great they are, like, “look at this teenager we’re rehabilitating really badly”...

Ronnie: [laughs]

Jess: But also it could be like, some sort of future community service, like I’m kind of imagining a Shitty Corporate Future, where like, if you get arrested you have to work it off at a corporate 9 to 5 job.

Drew: I mean, that’s not really that far from what it is now, so that’s sounds like a pretty good movement.

Jess: Are any of these appealing to you, or do you have your own ideas?

Ronnie: I enjoy the intern. [NOTE: Ronnie said this but then went with a sort of combination of both, which may be confusing, woops!]

[laughter]

Jess: Yeah, the miserable intern! [laughs] Alright, I like this. Okay! So let’s start some characters, then. You got your character sheets. Your traits are gonna be just how you would roll your DnD traits, so your Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. You roll four d6 for each, and then you take away the smallest one, and then you can plug them in wherever they’re needed, okay?

Ellie: Jess I already did mine, like I did them before... but I can roll again if you want.

Jess: You don’t have to because it’s probably good that other people can talk while people are figuring out the math bits, right?

Ellie: I suppose, yeah. I mean, I haven’t put them anywhere, I just have them.

Jess: Oh, well, you can plug them in if you want, ‘cause, Ellie your character is basically a robot druid, which is the coolest thing!

Ellie: Yeah!

Ronnie: Oh my god, that sounds awesome!

Ellie: Oh man! I wanna, I wanna tell you my robot’s name.

Ev: Yeah, tell us all about your robot.

Ellie: Alright, my robot’s name is H u M 4 N, and it’s pronounced–

Ev: Oh Christ!

Ellie: –it’s pronounced Human!

[laughter]

Ev: Your character, your character and mine are going to get in so many fights!

Ellie: My, mine doesn’t fight! It’s a lovely robot!

Ev: Just wait.

Jess: What’s your lovely robot’s pronouns?

Ellie: I’m trying to figure that out, y’know?

Jess: Okay, yeah.

Ellie: Um, maybe put N/A because I’m not sure.

Jess: Yeah, I’ll put pronouns N/A. And HuM4N, the robot! [laughs]

Ellie: I might give a 15 Charisma for my druid robot!

Jess: So he’s like a religious, they’re like a religious leader a little bit?

Ellie: No, I mean...

Ev: Or just like, really charming!

Ellie: Yeah, like a charming robot!

Jess: All robots are charming robots.

Ellie: Yeah, but this one’s especially charming because HuM4N’s surrounded by... other... little robots?

Jess: Okay. Ev, give me, hit me, let me know. [laughs]

Ev: Okay. [laughs] Uh, my character is named Adrianna Arkadie Usko, and she goes by Adie for short, or Ah-die, I’m not sure. But anyway, she, I, fuck, I gotta stop calling her “she”, they’re a they!

Jess: Okay!

Ev: They’re a human cleric, and they belong to a church that believes that machines should be tools of flesh-and-blood people, instead of sentient beings.

Jess: I...

Ev: And they’re gonna be in a party with a robot named HuM4N!

[laughter]

Drew: I’m sure a great friendship will totally grow, and not hatred!

Ev: Oh yeah totally! They’re also, like, you know, their church is considered somewhat moderate in that they’re not anti-technology in general, but they definitely have the basis of their church’s beliefs is that, uh, machines are fallible, and that if you want something with a real, actual sense of responsibility and life, that it should be a flesh-and-blood being. That robots can’t understand the true meaning of life, basically.

Drew: I want the two of your characters to become Platonic Life Partners by the end of this campaign.

Jess: I ship it!

[laughter]

Ev: That’s a, that’s a possibility!

Jess: It’s the future!

Ev: I also do, you know, in true Avery fashion have, uh, a two page backstory and personality document for this character and... yeah.

Ronnie: Also, also Jess...

Jess: Yeah?

Ronnie: Can my character be a ratfolk? Can they?

Jess: Yeah they can definitely be a... I feel like gene modding is kind of a thing that kind of was, like, used early on.... Okay, wait, do you have ideas about the rat creatures? I should not just stumble over your ideas before you get to put them out there. What do you, where do the ratfolk come from, Ronnie?

Ronnie: Um, they either came from underground, or they came from the desert, whichever.

Ev: And they’re part of like, the magic coming back into the world, basically, like they’re magical creatures?

Drew: I want them to be like, nuclear devastation, and they’re like pet rats that have evolved through toxic sludge.

[laughter]

Jess: See, can I put forward a third proposal? Of they are, like the results of “Hmm, well we figured out how to cure cancer in rats. We haven’t cured it in humans yet. What if we can we make kind of humany-rat things, and then try and cure cancer that way?”

Ronnie: [laughs] Excellent!

Jess: Like, you got some choices out there!

Ev: It could be, it could be both, you know! They could be like, lab rats that became human when the magic came back and they just were like “What the fuck?!”

[laughter]

Ev: “When did this happen? Okay, I guess we’re people now! Sure!”

Drew: I like it!

Jess: They’re also underground, and like I imagine... Although we’ve kind of built up this robot-human conflict, and elves and dwarves... I feel like they’re not super happy, like that’s probably why your guy’s so proletariat risey-upey.

Ronnie: Uh-huh. They dream of a utopia in which the sun’s warm, and there are fields of grain, and everything is happy farmland, I dunno!

Drew: And there are no cats!

[laughter]

Jess: Alright, do you have any names or anything? Or...

Ronnie: Ooh, how about Sybil?

Jess: Ooh, I like it!

Ellie: Aw!

Drew: I’m only gonna think of the author now that you say that.

Ev: How do you spell... What way is Sibyl spelled?

Ronnie: S-I-B-Y-L. No! It should be a Z! It should be Z... Zibyl!

[laughter]

Jess: Yes! I love the future. And Drew, do you have any ideas about your guy? Is it just like a human guy, or is it like a...

Drew: I’m like “Oh, I wanna be something fantastic” and then I’m like “No, I kinda just want to be an old, crotchety human with, like, age spots on his face and I want his name to be, like, Earl.”

[laughter]

Ev: Good.

Ellie: Earl the Human.

Jess: Oh my god.

Ev: What class is Earl? [laughs]

Drew: I haven’t thought that far ahead, but Jess did say Wizard, and I thought that was kinda good.

Jess: Um, wizards are the ones who get guns in this universe, by the way. Cause, we figured that magic missile is basically, like–

Ev: It’s a gun.

Jess: –a projectile. It’s a gun! It’s like a laser rifle but in a fantasy setting. So, Wizards get guns.

Drew: [drawling old man voice] “It’s my right to bear arms, that’s why I got bear arms attached to my body when I was seventeen!”

Jess: ...Wait, please tell me this is true.

[laughter]

Drew: Maybe! We’ll find out.

Jess: Old wizard with bear arms. I like that.

Drew: And he’s got a tattoo of a human head on his shoulder.

Jess: [laughs] On his bear arm he has a tattoo of a human head drawing?

Drew: Yeah.

Jess: I love... okay. Yeah.

Ev: These are the best one-line character descriptions that I’ve ever written in my entire life.

Ellie: Woo!

Ronnie: Also, also, my character’s, like, underground username was going to be The Oracle, but somebody had already taken that, so it’s like, TheOraclexx27.

[laughter]

Ev: So good.

Jess: Is it also, does it also have x’s in front of it, so it’s like xx_The_Oracle_xx27?

Ronnie: Yes!

Jess: Oh my god, this is such a good party. I’m just imagining this old shrively guy with massive bear arms that like come out of his shoulders and drag along the ground, but...

Ev: What kind of bear arms? Are they like Sun Bear arms, or Grizzly Bear or Panda Bear...

Drew: Brown. Brown Bear. He couldn’t afford to get the Polar Bear ones that he wanted when he was younger, so they’re just Brown Bear’s.

Jess: Does he dye them white, though?

Drew: Yeah, he cleans them.

Ev: I gotta bleach my bear arms today!

Drew: They’re kind of blondish, but don’t... don’t talk about it.

[laughter]

Jess: I’m just imagining frosted tip bear arms.

Ronnie: Oh my god!

Ev: He’s a 90’s kid!

Drew: What’s the retirement age?

Jess: Um...

Ev: Old.

Jess: Yeah I think it’s dystopian, like, future-hell, so... Basically, like, the concept is Paprika meets Brazil, meets Ghost in the Shell, with a little bit of Wizards, the 80’s cartoon about nuclear magic.

Drew: I just wanna know how old my guy is. I’m okay with him being super old. I’m fine with that. I just wanna know.

Jess: It’s all about how old you want him to be.

Drew: I feel like... I dunno, 63?

Jess: 63 is a good age. He’s... he’s a pretty old guy.

Ev: 63’s not like, unreasonably old. It’s not like he’s, you know, 95 or whatever.

Drew: Nah, nah, he’s not 95! But he’d be pretty... he’d be a different class of wizard if he was 95 though, let’s be real.

Jess: Yeah, he’d have maybe gone up the ladder a little bit. ...Oh shit, Drew, you get a hat!

Drew: It gets to hide his head so he doesn’t get a sunburn on his balding scalp!

Jess: Well, we decided that, like, it’s like the class ring of wizards. So, wizards who go to school get a class hat, and you get to choose a spell that goes with that hat.

Drew: He didn’t go to school, he’s old school!

Jess: He went to the school of hard knocks?

Drew: He was in the Trades. He learned from the people… I dunno. He failed High School, I dunno.

[laughter]

Jess: Maybe his apprenticeship ended with him getting a hat from his gruff boss man? It’s his hat?

Drew: Sure.

Ev: Okay, so I have to go and eat dinner. I will be back in fifteen, twenty minutes.

Jess: Ev, you have your Spirit and Objectives done, so I can probably just do that for everyone else while you’re gone, is that cool?

Ev: Yeah, I’m gonna leave my recording running, and then I’ll just let you guys know when I get back, but I’ll try and be quick.

Jess: Cool! Have fun!

Ev: Alright. Laaater!

Jess: Lates!

Ronnie: Bye!

Drew: What do the hats look like?

Jess: Whatever you want. It can be whatever hat you want. It’s just a magic hat. It can be a magic fedora, it can be a magic, like, helmet, one of those mining helmets, it can be a magic…

Drew: What about… it’s a fez. It’s a fez hat.

Jess: It’s a magic fez?

Drew: Yeah.

Jess: Okay. Why don’t you figure out a spell that goes on your magic fez? So, for Spirit, you guys, Spirit is pull three random books, then go to a random page and pull a sentence that you think describes your character.

Ellie: That involves moving!

Ronnie: I happen to have three books on my desk!

Drew: They have to be random books! Those aren’t random!

Jess: As long as they’re on your map it’s fine.

Ellie: There’s books around Finn’s [Jess and Ellie’s little brother] bed. I’m just gonna pull those books.

Drew: So you said to grab three random books?

Jess: Yeah. If you have three near you that’s fine.

Drew: There’s a bookshelf…

Ellie: So wait, it’s a random line as well?

Jess: Well, you can choose a line on that page if you want. I don’t mind!

Ellie: Alright, uh, Jess, say a number.

Jess: 27

Drew: [counting to himself]

Ellie: Page 27… [flipping pages]

Drew: [laughs] Alright… oh man my three books…

Jess: Okay!

Drew: Where the Boys Are: Urban Gay Erotica…

Jess: [laughs]

Drew: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets…

Jess: [laughs more]

Drew: … Jaws.

Jess: These are all… definitely titles!

Ronnie: My books are Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder… Queer and Trans Artists of Color… and Fruits Basket! [laughs]

Jess: Nice!

Drew: And we just have to pick a random sentence? From each of them?

Jess: Or you can just pick a sentence. It doesn’t have to be random. I pulled this from Normality, which is a really fun game.

Drew: Yeah.

Jess: You pick from your favourite book a random page, and then pick a sentence from that page.

Drew: Oh man, I picked a page and there’s a lot of…

Ellie: Jess, say another number.

Jess: Sixty… nine.

Drew: [reading] “Gripping his jaw, I kiss him, I kiss him for…”

Ellie: 69?

Jess: Yeah.

Drew: “...our noses rub, our tongues exploring, our teeth crushing together.”

Ronnie: [laughs]

Jess: So like, your guy is gay, right? That’s what that means?

Drew: I feel like... Well, he can, or like bi.

Jess: That’s true.

Drew: I mean, let’s be real, though. He’s got bear arms. He’s clearly a gay Bear.

Jess: Oh my god!

Ronnie: This is really funny, because the book I have actually landed on a quote by Nietzsche.

Jess: [laughs]

Ronnie: And so, the sentence is, “From this point of view even the blunders of life have their own meaning and value– the occasional side and wrong roads, the delays, “modesties,” seriousness wasted on tasks that are remote from the task.”

Jess: Oh that’s kind of horrifying, and also kind of nice, and also kind of in character.

Ronnie: Yes.

Drew: So, the sentence I wanna do is “I lift my hand off his face just long enough to reach for the ball gag on the bedside table.”

Jess: [laughs] Alright!

Drew: There’s… there’s not a lot on that page I can get through. Most of it is about nipple clamps and sex. So… well, I’ll write down what I got from it.

Jess: Okay.

Drew: Where the Boys Are… he’s gay, and he likes ball gags!

Jess: [laughs] His spirit is strong.

Drew: Oh man, but he… so he should get some sort of special rope ability, ‘cause he’s clearly into bondage.

Jess: Rope is very expensive, I’m warning you now! I literally only made it super expensive because Ellie wanted it to be included.

Ellie: What?!

Drew: Is there any way that he could just have like his bondage rope, and then it just could be half as useful as actual rope but no one really knows why he has this kinky rope?

Jess: Except him?

Drew: Yeah.

Jess: I think so. [laughs] I like the idea of, someone’s like “Does anyone have some rope?” and he sheepishly pulls it out, and they’re like “Yeah! Thanks guy– where did you get this?”, and he’s like “...Adventure reasons.”

Drew: He’s like, “I can’t really hold a lot of weight, but I can tie a whole bunch of knots if you want.”

Jess: “I can suspend this bad guy from the ceiling a whole bunch of ways.”

Drew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ronnie: Oh noooo! Mine just got so angsty!

Jess: Oh no!

Ronnie: Fruits Basket pulled up for me, “They didn’t really want me.”

Jess: Awww no!

Drew: Mine’s just like, Dursley yelling at Harry. “I warned you, I will not tolerate mention of your abnormality under this roof!”

Ronnie: Oh no!

Jess: So sad!

Drew: So he comes from a family that, like, doesn’t believe in magic, and he’s magic, and they’re like “Fuck you! Get lost!”

Jess: Aww!

Drew: I dunno! That’s what I get from that.

Jess: Yeah.

Drew: They don’t care he’s gay, they just don’t like that he’s magic.

Jess: I’m just, it’s so sad. Some tragic backstory shit happening all of a sudden.

Ronnie: [in the background] Oh no!!

Drew: Are we using “magic” with a “c” or “magik” with a “k”?

Jess: Um, I think it’s with a… well, you’re the magic guy, you choose.

Ronnie: The quote that I got is “I’m not going to exploit my grandma just because somebody gave me money.”

Drew: That’s nice.

Ronnie: This rat… loves his grandma.

Jess: Aww! His ratma!

Ronnie: I say “his”… I’m going to say “they.”

Jess: Okay.

Drew: I don’t know what to say from this. Um, there’s a lot of, like, weird stuff on this page, but a lot of it has swearing, so he likes to swear.

Jess: Ah. He’s such a gruff, old, like BDSM guy.

Ronnie: [laughs] It’s great!

Jess: I think I’ve met this guy at Pride before.

Drew: Probably.

Ellie: I think I’ve got my quotes maybe. From The Supernaturalists… [correcting self] Supernaturalist, single.

Jess: Aw, I love that book.

Ellie: “Even if sometimes, she couldn’t remember her mother and father anymore,” from that.

Jess: Sad.

Ellie: From Martin the Warrior, “I’ll try to get back to you this time tomorrow night,” and then from Itch, “‘Reading’ said Itch.”

Jess: [laughs]

Ellie: Those are my quotes.

Drew: Did we have to write down the actual quote because I just wrote down what I got from them.

Jess: You can do either, it’s about how you’d interpret it best.

Drew: Okay. My brain keeps being like “But Jess, what’s your character?!” and I’m like “Uhh never mind, shut up.”

Jess: [laughs] Don’t worry! Ev and I have been discussing some of the side characters and stuff. You’ll meet some fun types.

Um, so, I think next we’re gonna go on to adjectives ‘cause you guys are kind of getting what your character is.

Ellie: What about Ev?

Jess: Oh, yeah, Ev! Sorry!

Ev: [sarcastic] Alright, cool. [laughs] That’s how it is!

Jess: Shut up! Shut up and speak!

[laughter]

Ev: Okay, um, sorry, I’m just moving things around a little bit.

Okay, so, I have “A little voice in her head said ‘Are you doing the right thing?” which is that, uh, Adie’s always questioning their faith and their motivations.

Um, “String me up ‘cause I’m in it now,’ he said to no one,” which is that they go whole-heartedly into things, and they commit to things.

And, “If you’ve had a freakish education, at least use it,” which is that they were brought up in a weird, like, super technophobic, like... I called the organization that their parents were in “Radical Organicists,” which is like, in my head it’s like a combination of, like those weird culty communes, and anti-vaxxers, and anti-GMO vegans, and basically everyone who, like wants to go back to the Earth, but in kind of like really harmful, bad ways. [laughs] So…

Ronnie: Did I tell you that my grandma totally lived in a couple communes in the 60s?

[laughter]

Ronnie: She’s a cool grandma.

Ev: This is like, they grew up in a bad commune. It was definitely much more cult than anything else.

Jess: Okay, so adjectives. And your adjectives are describing words. This is something I pulled from MechNoir, because I’ve been listening to a lot of Friends at the Table, and this is something they do. But you get to choose three adjectives to describe your character, and they can give you bonuses on rolls if you can convince me that it’s relevant.

Ev: My, my adjectives for Adie are committed, clever, and blunt.

Jess: Committed, clever, and blunt.

Ev: Yep.

Jess: I like it. Has anyone else got any thoughts on theirs? I guess it’s very soon.

Ronnie: What’s the word for when someone is really good at, sort of, MacGyvering things? I-Innovative? No…

Ev: Resourceful?

Ronnie: ...Resourceful, there we go.

Jess: Yeah, that’s good, yeah.

Drew: I wanna use Persnickety.

[laughter]

Ev: Solid.

Jess: So far very good. Ellie, you got anything?

Drew: Crotchety…

Ronnie: Oh my god.

Ev: That’s the same thing as persnickety!

Drew: No, it’s not! Persnickety is being particular, and crotchety is being “ill-tempered, irritable, or grumpy.”

Jess: [laughs] I love this old man!

Ev: He’s so hard to work with, it sounds like!

Drew: Persnickety is "fussy or putting too much emphasis on trivial or minor details."

Jess: I love, I love, oh my god the worst co-worker of all time.

Ev: Right? This is gonna be so... man, this party is just a nightmare. We've got like a shitty teen, we've got a grouchy old dude, we got a religious zealot, and we got a robot, who's just like "Yep."

Ellie: Oh, Ev! And you're like "And a robot!"

Ev: [laughs] I'm becoming Adie!

Jess: My favourite thing so far is that you guys have all, like, fallen into being like of each other? Already? It's very exciting. Does anyone else have extra adjectives, or do you wanna like, you can also sleep on it and we come back to this next week.

Ronnie: We need to do it NOW!

Jess: Okay!

Ellie: I've got something note worthy.

Jess: Okay.

Ronnie: I thought of "resourceful," oh wait, I already thought of "resourceful," but "rebellious"!

Jess: Okay.

Drew: Um…

Ellie: "Volatile"

Drew: Oh I know what I wanna… Oh, sorry!

Ellie: How's "volatile", Jess?

Jess: Volatile's good!

Ev: It's really good.

Jess: Surprising but good, yeah. I wanna see how that runs out.

Ev: Like, temper-wise or in the fact that your HP is so low and you just explode when someone touches you?

[laughter]

Jess: Oh no!

Ellie: I said the wrong words and wrote the wrong word down, so that means I'm keeping it!

Jess: I like it though!

Ellie: Yeah.

Ev: What word were you thinking?

Ellie: "Versatile!"

Ev: Oh!

[laughter]

Ellie: Um, I'm keeping it either way.

Jess: I like volatile and versatile.

Ellie: I'll put both! So, my character is trustworthy, volatile, and versatile.

Jess: Aw!

Ev: That's a good robot.

Jess: That's a good... yeah!

Drew: I'm, uh, so "charitable" is the other one I wanna put down.

Jess: Ah shit, that's really interesting! Like, as a third, compared to "crotchety" and "persnickety"... and charitable.

Drew: Yeah.

Jess: I like it. How're you doin', Ron?

Ronnie: ...Good. I'm trying to think of a... specific word.

Drew: Oh I know!

Ronnie: Um…

Drew: [typing something for Ronnie]

Ronnie: Uh... no.

Drew: Ronnie's third word is "stinky"!

Ronnie: No it's not!

[laughter]

Ronnie: They can't 'cause [rats] clean themselves so much!

Drew: They do.

Jess: Especially 'cause this rat has high Charisma! This is a fancy rat.

Ev: Yeah!

Ronnie: I-It's more than just cleanliness, like... like... he grooms a lot, they groom a lot.

Drew: Obsesses.

[Ronnie mumbles]

Jess: Uh, "neat," "clean"...

Ev: Hygienic?

Jess: Uh…

Ronnie: Fussy! There we go.

Ev: Fussy!

Jess: Fussy's good! Yeah!

Drew: That's the same thing as "persnickety!" Except my word's better.

Jess: So what were your three words in the end, Ronnie?

Ronnie: Resourceful, rebellious, and fussy.

[Multiple "aww"s]

Jess: I wanna bully that rat!

Ev: Everyone's so cute!

[laughter]

Ev: Ronnie and Ellie, did you guys decide on like, genders or pronouns for your characters?

Ronnie: My character's pronouns are they/them, yeah. Or maybe zey/zem to keep with…

Ev: Zibyl, zey/zem, oh good!

Jess: Okay! I love it. Uh, Ellie, do you know what your robot is yet?

Ellie: Might be she/her?

Jess: Aw! Yeah, I like it.

Ev: Yay, we got a girl robot! [laughs] It's perfect!

Ellie: Ev, have I show you my robot?

Ev: No, show me your robot!

Ellie: My robo…

[paper shuffling]

Jess: She's so cute. I love her.

Drew: She's the cutest!

Ev: Oh my god, that is really charming! [laughs] What kind of hat is that, or is that an antenna?

Ellie: It's a little, it's a bird!

Ev: Oh!

Jess: A ro-bird?

Ev: Too cute!

Ellie: Ro-bird! [laughs]

Ev: It's a little bird on her head!

Ellie: And then, that's the feet! Because, poor Dexterity.

Ev: [laughs] Oh my god! All of our guys are so good!

Jess: This is so good!

Ev: Uh, my character looks like Michelle Forbes in, uh, Battlestar Gallactica. I'll find a link. Hang on.

Jess: Nice.

Drew: I'm so bad with names!

Jess: Are you, are you going back on Earl?

Drew: What? No. No no no, I... Ev just said some person's name, and I was like "I know Battlestar Gallactica, but I have NO idea who that is."

Jess: Oh!

Drew: No, Earl is Earl, like... Earl cannot be any more Earl than Earl already is.

Jess: It's true!

Ev: Let's see���

Ellie: Unless he wakes up in the morning... Because then he gets up EARL-ly.

Ev: Heh.

Jess: [grunt and long sigh]

Ev: I linked to Michelle Forbes in the chat.

Ronnie: Okay.

Ellie: Ohh!

Drew: Yeah, okay.

Jess: Nice.

Ellie: Good

.

Drew: I want them to get in a relationship!

Jess: Well…

Drew: Ship it! Ship it!

Ev: [laughs] They're in a relationship and they have a, have a son. I'm telling you, I go so deep into character building!

Jess: Wait, they have a son?!

Ev: Yeah. You want me to read this, part of this real fast?

Jess: Yes.

Ev: Okay. "Adie grew up within a commune that was also slightly a cult. They retained some of the ideas they were raised with, but actually consider themself very moderate compared to what they grew up with, even if that's sort of reactionary in most society. They became an insurance investigator because they wanted to reduce the dependence of flesh-and-blood people on machines and change the system of the Dreaming from the inside, in a way they're not completely sure how that's going to happen, yet." [laughs] Um, "They love travel and reading, and they're very curious, not very funny, and maybe not quite as clear on what their ideals are as they should be. Adie is estranged from their parents and extended family due to aforementioned cult/commune thing. They have a life partner named Robbie McCabe and a seven year old son named Colin."

Drew: Are they Poly [polyamorous]?

Ev: Hm?

Drew: Are they Poly?

Ev: I want them to be! I'm not sure if I should do that, because then, like, I think most of that's going to stay deep in the background, but I kind of wanted them to actually be married to two people.

Jess: It is Space Future.

Ev: Yeah.

Drew: I just wanna ship them with, um, with Ellie's character.

Ev: With HuM4n?

Jess: It would be so symbolic!

Ev: It would. It would be so solid. Their, their wife wants them to stop being such a zealot.

[laughter]

Jess: That's a fun table talk. "Adie..."

Ellie: I think HuM4n would have a nice tea session with Wife.

Ev: Yeah! I can, I can see Robbie meeting HuM4n and being like "Oh, you guys should date because then Adie would just, fuckin' chill for a minute."

[laughter]

Ev: What a bunch of trash babies.

Jess: Um, okay. So, we've got our adjectives... we're gonna do... Luck next. So I want you all to roll 3 d6 [dice]. And don't cheat, goddamn it!

Drew: Roll 3 d6?

Jess: Yes.

Ev: Whoa! I did Ellie rolls on that one.

Ellie: Wow!

Jess: What did you get?

Ev: Five, four, five.

Jess: Okay!

Ellie: I didn't, I did the opposite of Ellie rolls!

Jess: What did you get?

Drew: Oh, Ronnie got shit! Ronnie got anus hairs!

Ronnie: Oh nooo!

[laughter]

Jess: What did you…

Drew: I got 12. But Ronnie got 3!

Ellie: Well, my robot's…

Jess: Oh no!

Ronnie: I got 4!

Ev: Shit!

Jess: What did you get, El?

Ellie: One, two…

Jess: Oh my god!

Ellie: ...and one.

Drew: Hey, you got the same thing as Ronnie!

[hysterical laughter]

Ev: Wow, you are SO unlucky.

Drew: What is this roll for?

Ev: For Luck.

Jess: For Luck!

Drew: For Luck…

Jess: Yup!

Drew: I got twelve.

Jess: Well, okay. So, here's the thing about Luck.

Drew: Good luck and bad luck.

Jess: There's good Luck and there's bad Luck, and um, you can actually trade out skills for better Luck, but you have to take three points away from your skills to get an additional point of Luck, and you can do the reverse. You can trade your Luck to get more skills.

Drew: I dunno, I kind of like having high Luck, even if it could be bad for me, 'cause it feels fun.

Ronnie: You say that because you also have high skills, Drew.

Drew: [evil laughter]

Jess: It's true.

Ellie: Here's the thing. I think it would be hilarious if my robot, who's got all these high skills has really, really low Luck.

Jess: Aww! What a squishy baby!

Ev: That's really charming.

Ronnie: As my quote spirit says: "Even the blunders of life have their own meaning and value."

Jess: Aw! [laughs]

Ellie: Ronnie! Your character and my character should get tea!

Ronnie: [laughs] Yes!

Ellie: Well I mean…

Drew: My character will buy the tea and grumble about it.

Ellie: Everyone's invited!

Ronnie: He doesn't have to!

Drew: Yeah, but that doesn't matter, I'm your elder!

Jess: So, I'm just figuring stuff out on this end, but um…

Drew: There's no spot for age.

Jess: You can put age down... somewhere.

Drew: So, are we following, um, the rule with, uh, I think D&D has a thing where you actually get lower skills if you're older…

Jess: No, we're not. We're ignoring all that. [laughs]

Drew: Okay. Did I say I was 68 or 63?

Ellie: I think 63?

Ev: Yeah.

Drew: 63, okay.

Jess: Okay, so here's how Luck is gonna work. You can use it to re-roll rolls. For example, if you have a 20 on Luck, you can reroll 3 rolls a session, and they don't have to just be yours, they just have to affect you in some way or another. So, if you have 20 Luck you can reroll 3 times. If you have 19, 3 times, Eighteen, three times. Seventeen, two times. Sixteen, two times. Fifteen, one time. Fourteen, one time. Thirteen, one time. Twelve, eleven, ten, and nine have no Luck values one way or the other. And then, if you have…

Drew: Twelve has nothing or twelve is still one?

Jess: Twelve is nothing.

Drew: Twelve is nothing.

Jess: Twelve is average. Yep. You can't reroll, um, unless you have greater than twelve. If you have eight or less, I get to reroll a roll against you!

Ronnie: Oh…

Jess: If you have a 4 or a 3, I get to reroll two rolls against you! And if you have a 2 or a 1, I get to reroll three rolls against you. There are some other things that Luck will have, and you can combine Luck for things, and Luck does have other applications, like there will be times where I won't know if something's going to go one way or another, where you'll roll a Luck thing. So, at the moment I get to roll against Ellie and Ronnie twice a session.

Ronnie: [laughs sadly]

Ellie: It's okay.

Drew: Sucks to be them!

Ellie: HuM4n's fine about it.

Jess: And the only people who get rerolls, are Drew and Ev, which... wait, no! Drew doesn't get any!

Drew: No.

Jess: So only Ev gets to reroll.

Ev: Heyo!

Drew: I don't get any rerolls but you don't get to roll against me!

Jess: Yup.

Ellie: You said three d6 right?

Jess: Yeah.

Ellie: Wow, I rolled so terribly!

Jess: I kinda like it! I kinda like the low…

Drew: I think it's hilarious that you and Ronnie both rolled the same thing.

Ev: The same really bad thing!

Drew: Yeah.

Jess: It's so impressive... Christ. Okay, um, now let's do materials. Um. Which are Status, Education, Money, and Equipment. Your Status and Education will have some effect. Money's probably going to have the most effect to start, because that's going to depend on what, it's gonna change your budget around, and then Equipment is also a thing. So, roll one d6.

Drew: Pardon?

Jess: Roll one d6.

Drew: Okay.

Ellie: Okay, I rolled a six.

Jess: Okay, that's your... that's your Status, so you have been with this company the longest, Ellie.

Drew: Oh man, I rolled a four.

Ev: Hey, that doesn't make any goddamn sense! [laughs]

Drew: Hey it's your bad luck.

Jess: I mean, it's kinda like, if you're middle management, and this robot's kinda come along and is kind of, muscling you out.

Ev: Climbing the corporate ladder!

Jess: Yeah! [laughs]

Drew: That means I'm gonna hate you!

Ev: [sarcastic] Goddamn robots takin' our jobs!

Jess: You could get along!

Ronnie: I got a five.

Ev: I also have a five.

Drew: That doesn't make any sense!

Ev: Aw man, I'm at the same Status as the, the intern?

Drew: I have LESS Status than the intern!

Jess: I don't, I think it also is like, societal level Status, so if you have Status in certain groups, that might also count towards this. So maybe the fact that Ellie's kind of the leader of a church is gonna bump her Status up a little bit.

Ellie: I mean, it's kind of a church. Kind of, but not really.

Ronnie: I'm internet famous! [laughs]

Jess: [laughs]

Ev: You have a lot of followers on Tumblr!

Drew: People are just jealous of my bear arms.

[laughter]

Drew: My friends have all died. I have no Status because they're all dead.

Jess: Aw!

Ev: Oh my god, Drew!

Jess: It's because our society doesn't respect the elderly.

Ev: Yeah.

Drew: I'm sure they just ship us off to get burned or something.

Jess: Aww! It's not THAT dystopian! I'll just work you until you're dead!

Drew: Oh, okay.

Jess: Okay so roll me another d6, guys.

Ellie: And this is for Education?

Jess: Uh, actually I'm gonna let you roll first, and then we'll figure it out, so it makes more sense next time!

Ellie: I rolled a three.

Jess: 'Kay.

Ronnie: I got a one!

Drew: I rolled a two.

Ev: I have a five again.

Jess: Okay, it does make sense for this to be Education, right?

Drew: Yeah!

Ev: I think so.

Drew: I already said that my character did go to, like didn't go to school, he just learned his stuff from Trades.

Jess: Yeah.

Drew: He failed high school, so.

Jess: I'm guessing that Ev, your guy went to, like, your person went to like, a Clerical college? Like a religious…

Ev: Yeah. Um, yeah, probably.

Jess: And then, Ronnie is like, a homeless teenager, so... Roll again, guys!

Ronnie: Gah! [dropped their dice probably]

Ev: Frick, I got a three for Money.

Jess: 'Kay.

Ellie: I got a four.

Ronnie: Oh dang! I got a four for Money.

Jess: Okay!

Drew: I rolled it off of the edge of my book. [laughs]

Jess: Don't do that!

Drew: I rolled a six! Retirement money!

Ev: Retirement mon! [laughs]

Jess: Okay, nice, so, this is your weekly income in Creds, which are the currency. Actually…

Drew: Six dollars a week!

Ev: [laughs]

Jess: Well, if you'll look, I think you actually get twice that.

Ev: Yeah, you said it was two weeks back pay when you start.

Jess: Yeah, it's two weeks back pay, is what you've got sort of behind you, so you've got twelve creds to start. You get six a week but you have two weeks of back pay. But, you do have, like, weekly things you might have to pay, like rent and rations, uh…

Ellie: Question!

Jess: Yeah?

Ellie: Do I pay rations if I don't eat?

Jess: Um, oil, maintenance, that kind of thing.

Ellie: Ahh.

Jess: Also, you as a druid/technomancer/paladin have to pay for a Holy Site with 1 Cred monthly, so you can subtract that from your income.

Drew: That's complicated.

Jess: Yeah, I wanted to make this, uh, a game about budgeting.

Drew: In the loan section, are we doing compound loaning?

Jess: No, because I don't want to have to do that much math.

Ronnie: Hey! Hey! Stop! [laughs] Noooooo! [yelps]

Jess: I don't know what's happening over there, but I bet it's disgusting.

Ev: I think Drew and Ronnie are being married right now. [laughs]

Jess: God... damnit.

Ev: They're doing married shit.

Jess: This is what happens when you invite married people to anything, right?

Drew: I'm tickling them!

[laughter]

Jess: [sarcastic] Gross.

Ronnie: Okay, okay.

Jess: They don't deserve that. Anyway! Um, you guys all need rent to rent out a place and rations. You can combine those however you want. If you want to eat fois gras in a gutter, that's fine. If you wanna eat spam in a mansion, that's also fine. Uh, you can get yourself some prosthesis…

Drew: There's very little money to start with!

Jess: You guys don't have, like glamorous jobs, you know that right? Like…

Drew: Yeah I know, but we've been living for a while! You'd think we'd have SOME money to start with!

Ev: I have a partner who brings in her own income, presumably!

Drew: Yeah, right?

Jess: It's Capitalist Space Future! Do you wanna... [laughs] You have to pay Air loans probably!

Drew: Can I just get a tattoo of a corporation on my ass and call it a day?

Jess: I mean, you can if you want! That's probably why you get six, six pay a week!

Ev: Earl is so into body modding. [laughs]

Drew: Earl IS into body modding.

Jess: There is totally like, underground body modding places, and people get addicted to modding their bodies until they're like, weird. Ah... Space Future.

Ellie: Can I use my creds that aren't, that are part of my Money to get a tiny automaton familiar?

Jess: Yes, of course you can!

Ellie: [happy sound]

Jess: Um…

Drew: Where are the familiars?

Jess: The familiars are for wizards and druids. You can get one. It's gonna be alive by magic whereas Ellie's is gonna be alive by religious…

Ellie: It's a tiny robot!

Drew: But, but isn't that like a baby then?

Jess: I was thinking more like the daemons from The Golden Compass and The Amber Spyglass, but robots.

Drew: I was just thinking 'cause it's robot, I'm like isn't there some sort of like, weird existential thing that you have to consider because you're also a robot?

Jess: Yeah, Ellie! Do you?

Ellie: Sorry?

Jess: Do you have to consider that, that they're babies, or is it different for robots?

Drew: Or that they're equal?

Ellie: They're different for robots!

Drew: But doesn't that have like a weird supremacy thing for robots though?

Jess: [laughs]

Ellie: No! It's my buddy!

Ev: It's like, you know, being a human and owning a dog. Like, they're still flesh and blood guys, they're just like, dumb and you know, you have to take care of them.

Drew: A dog, a dog isn't a tiny human, though!

Ellie: I have a connection with my tiny robot friend! It's like we're both friends on equal terms.

Jess: Also, I think in this society, there are like, dogs that are as intelligent as people, and dogs that aren't. I think that it's gotten to the point where people occasionally will just make a creature or a species super smart 'cause they can.

Drew: That that mean that there are like, super not-smart people?

Jess: Hmmm…

Ev: I dunno if I like that, 'cause that gets into weird like, weird territory.

Jess: That gets kind of into, um, what's-it-called, that one dystopian, not nineteen-eighty... Brave New World! It gets a bit Brave New World. I'm not sure we're gonna go that far into the like, intelligence hierarchy, some-people-are-better-than-others…

Drew: Yeah, I'm fine with not doing that! I was just asking about robots.

Ev: [sad laugh]

Jess: It's interesting from a robot perspective. I wonder if it's like, based on how, like, close they are to the Singularity.

Ev: Well, plus we also have in this world, robots that are dead people's souls put into machines.

Jess: Oh yeah! That's a thing!

Ellie: Maybe I built my own familiar.

Jess: Aww!

Drew: Oh I know what, I know what I want now!

Jess: Yeah?

Drew: I want Earl's, like, Life Partner to have passed on [Ev gasps], and they had decided he was going to go into like, one of those, um, machines and then like he was super fit-looking and awesome and he's like "See ya later, Earl!" and then just like leaves.

Ev: Ohh!!

[lots of sob laughing]

Drew: So that was Earl's like, retirement funds.

Jess: Aw!!

Ev: Oh my god!!

Ellie: He's... he's so sad and awwuh!

Jess: So, does Earl not have any money anymore? Did you get it, like, the large…

Drew: He gets six Creds! Of course he doesn't have any money! I'm trying to explain away the fact that he's saved for like sixty years and he's got like, 12 Creds!

Jess: [laughs]

Drew: Um, do I need to pay for my prosthesis or should I just like imagine that I paid for them when I was young like I said?

Jess: I think I might have to make you pay for your prosthesis.

Ev: Noo!

Jess: [laughs]

Drew: I still have one dollar left!

Jess: You have your Equipment money! I gave you Equipment money!

Drew: Yeah, then I'll just be naked! [laughs]

Ronnie: [laughs]

Ev: Christ.

Jess: I'm assuming you have…

Drew: Do I have to pay for each arm or can it just be 11 dollars, 11 Cred?

Jess: I think you just paid for it all. You can can also have been in debt for the last like…

Ev: Rope is really expensive.

Jess: That's... [laughs]

Drew: Oh, what's the deal with the bondage rope that I had suggested?

Jess: You get to keep your bondage rope, but if Ellie wants rope, she has to pay full price.

Drew: Okay.

Ellie: Jess, how much are weapons and what what weapons are available for a druid?

Jess: Um, so... mostly, you just have to look at the druid weapons in AD&D and then we're gonna adapt them.

Ellie: Can I have a quarter staff?

Jess: Yeah.

Ellie: Alright.

Ev: And that goes for spells, too, right?

Jess: Yeah.

Ev: We're just doing AD&D ones?

Jess: Yeah. If you want.

Drew: Is there, like, a certain amount of spells?

Jess: Uh, same as AD&D, it's just whether we're gonna start you as level one or level three. What would you guys prefer?

Drew: Uh…

Ev: What's a man catcher?

Jess: What?

Ev: I'm looking at Cleric weapons and there's something called a man catcher.

Jess: Like a net? [laughs]

Drew: Jess?

Jess: Yeah?

Drew: I'd like to advocate because I have bear arms, that I get to use one of the D&D things where I have claws, which actually is an attack weapon.

Jess: Okay, but you don't get any other weapons except for a magic gun if you wanna shell out the money for that.

Drew: Well, I mean, I'm already shelling out the money for my arms, they're 11 Cred, right?

Jess: Yeah, it's true! [laughs]

Drew: So I just wanna be able to use my claws if I need to!

Jess: Yeah, those are probably gonna be a 1d4 damage. And I think the thing is, the reason they would be kind of lower as well is because I think there are a lot of robots and people who have body mods and you're gonna need energy weapons.

Drew: Well, and also I'm just old. So my physical body is probably pretty old, even if my bear arms are rad.

Jess: Man, you could probably get your claws, like, upgraded into laser claws at some point.

Drew: That'd be cool. I wonder if my bear arms need to be replaced at points because bears, like, live way less and so every like, ten years my bear arms have to be replaced when they, like shrivel up and fall off.

Ronnie: Gah!

Jess: [laughs] So they're like actual bear arms not just like, look like bear arms?

Drew: Yeah, they're actual bear arms!

Jess: I love it, okay, yeah.

Ellie: So Jess, are we first level or third level, 'cause that changes how many spells I can get.

Jess: I know! [sighs] ...I guess you guys are third level.

Ronnie: I have picked out my stuff!

Jess: Oh yeah? What do you have?

Ronnie: I have a Hacker's kit, one alternate ID which is The Oracle... xx27…

Jess: [laughs]

Ronnie: Uh, two costumes, a glow worm, and... a set of Dream Interference. And... no weapon because this shitty teen doesn't understand.

Jess: I am gonna get that shitty teen a hoverboard if it's the last thing I do.

Ev: Oh good.

Jess: [laughs] Like, I just want the shittiest, eighty-est, 80s-est…

Drew: So the hat actually says that it doesn't have to be a spell! I get a special effect, which can be frost resistance, advantage on charisma rolls, or an extra spell slot!

Jess: Shit! [laughs]

Ev: Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking when we were talking about it, Jean. You can change it if you want, but I was thinking like, it's like having an item equipped in a video game where it like, gives you a buff or something.

Jess: Yeah, I think that's it. I think I just said "spell" because I'm a sleepy baby all the time, and I don't know what's going on in the game I'm creating! So.. yeah!

Drew: I think I'm gonna end up getting a loan, I think.

Jess: I'll just have to keep track of that, and then there'll be creditor organizations who are keeping an eye on you, and I'll just have to remember that.

Ev: Can I have a, a sword?

Jess: Yes.

Ev: A non-haunted sword?

Jess: Yyyyyeesssss... I feel like you're kind of edging more towards the Paladin territory in some ways…

Ev: That's true.

Jess: I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it kind of, almost fits with the character more than the Cleric?

Ev: I can do a Paladin.

Jess: Yeah.

Ev: Alright, yeah, I'll just be a Paladin. Fuck it!

Jess: I feel like there's probably a cool name we could give to the Paladins, for the Future Times, but we'll figure that out.

Drew: Pala-don'ts.

Jess: [laughs] Pala-do?

Ev: [laughs]

Drew: Pala-outs!

Jess: Uh, Pala-drives?

Ev: Pals!

Jess: Like, drive? Like... a computer drive?

Ev: Hm....

Jess: No?

Ev: Mods? [laughs]

Jess: Oh no wait, I love that! [laughs]

Ev: Well, that doesn't really make sense, 'cause they're not really in charge of any, like, they're not like, well... I dunno! A mod?

Jess: Um, admins?

Drew: How come technomancers get to be in the druid/cleric/paladin AND in the wizard section?

Jess: Uh, 'cause technomancers can use, uh, pretty much they can use wizard or druid magic to affect the Dreaming.

Drew: Okay. ...What's a spring belt?

Jess: Oh, the spring belt is, uh, if you have your weapon in it, it means you always have it at the ready, so even in surprise attacks, you're not gonna get surprised and you can attack and roll initiative.

Drew: Okay. Um, and what's a travelling duster?

Jess: Like, a cool duster, like the jacket in [shyly] ...Fallout New Vegas.

Ev: [laughs]

Ellie: You're a nerd, Jess.

Jess: Hey.

Ronnie: I might need it.

Jess: [laughs] Oh my god, you do need it!

Ev: That's what that hoodie is! [laughs]

Jess: Oh my god, no. I need…

Ronnie: My hoodie is actually a travel duster?

Drew: Ooh what's a festival lantern do?

Jess: I think it's just a cool lantern! [laughs]

Drew: Dentures?! C'mon! I've been working here for how many years and I don't get coverage for dentures?

Jess: Yeah, there is definitely only private health insurance in the future.

Drew: I'll gum you to death!

Jess: [laughs]

Drew: Uh, so right now I need, I would need a 14 Credit loan.

Jess: I think you can get a 14 Credit loan. I'll just write it down. Does anyone else need a loan?

Ev: Yeah, I need a loan of... 4 dollars.

Drew: I'll, I'll probably need to get one or two Credits more just so I can clothes. Um, but, that's what I'll ask for right now, and then I'll email you about it later.

Jess: Cool.

Ronnie: My clothes come from the garbage!

[laughter]

Ronnie: Except for the cool duster thing.

Ev: You saved up for a good jacket.

Jess: Aw, that's so, like, like, I'm just imagining zem like, saving all of their money for weeks on end and spending it all on a jacket.

Is there anything else you guys want to go over before we leave? Any worldbuilding stuff that you think is really appropriate to this world that you need me to inject right now?

Ellie: Well, I don't know if it's really anything important, but I thought, so we all have usernames in the Dream, right?

Jess: Yeah.

Ellie: My robot's username is Sore_491, and it's that because the robot had to have a human friend help to log in because of the prove-you're-not-a-robot, and that was what, that was the code that needed to be typed in, and the human thought it would be funny to name the robot's…

Jess: Username.

Ellie: Yeah.

Drew: Hey, can my guy's name be deepthroat_69?

[laughter]

Jess: Yeah! Absolutely! And I bet, yeah, he had to be really fast on the draw to get that, that username.

Drew: What I, well I, well he's old, right? But he…

Ev: Yeah he's had it since the Internet was new!

Drew: I want it be that, basically they, um, you can't change your username once you have it, so like, so like he just went into the Dreaming when he was horny one time or something, and then he got this job later on and he was like "Fuck, whatever." [laughs]

Ev: There's probably SO many people with that, that that has happened to!

Jess: Yeah, like... Oh, I want the mayor's username to be, like... 420justblaze$$$, and like, part of their campaign was being like, now I'm a serious candidate!

Ellie: One of the heads of the churches is called MiLady450.

Jess: [laughs] Cleric…

Ronnie: There is so much Vaporwave in this, in this RP right now.

Ev: It's so good. I'm trying to think of something that Adie would have... It's probably something that they thought was really clever when they were a teenager... shit.

Ellie: Can there just be a, epidemic of memes? In the church? Like…

Jess: [laughs]

Ellie: [laughs] like another head of the church has one that's "Can I Haz Churchburger?"

Drew: Noooooooooo!

Ellie: [laughs]

Ev: I bet this is a future where there's definitely, like, a church of Our Lord Dril, or something like that. [laughs]

Jess: Oh god! Oh god....

Drew: I want people to be back to worshiping cats again.

Jess: I think, I think we can do that. Think they probably put on performances of Cats every Sunday. IN the Dreaming, though. Like, they got kicked out of other... they can't do it Live anymore. They, have a Live, once a year, Cats performance.

Ev: Oh, oh! Can we have it, can he have "Hugh Jackman's Huge Act-in" be canon in this universe?

Jess: Yeah, definitely.

Drew: Hugh Jackman's what?

Jess: It's a CoolGames Inc. ... it's a podcast where they make up game ideas, but one of them was "Hugh Jackman's Huge Act-in." You get to be the actors in Broadway show of your dreams, and it's virtual. You're virtually kind of, filled into a lobby.

Ev: It's VR theatre, and, and it's such a good concept, and I'm so mad that it doesn't exist. [laughs]

Jess: I feel like there's, like, bazillions of entertainment channels, and some of them are just like virtual, and some of them are real actors, and some of them are just Amateur Hour. In fact, I'm pretty sure there's a, like, station called "Amateur Hour."

Ev: [laughs] Good.

Ronnie: [laughs]

Drew: I, I drew Ronnie's and my character. [shuffling paper] [The drawing shows Earl with an arm around Zibyl.]

[chorus of giggles and "aww"s]

Jess: "You're gonna go far, kid."

Drew: [laughs]

Ev: He's so little!

Drew: He's super short! He's like 5'2" or something!

Ellie: Like, he's reaching up with his arm!

Drew: Yeah.

[laughing and yelling, probably because Drew's showing a drawing of Earl with a leather harness and black g-string.]

Jess: That's happening. I guess.

[laughter]

Ev: Is that...

Ellie: Earl's the best.

Ev: Is that his avatar?

Drew: That's his, so he's got two avatars. He's got his like, cruising avatar, and then this is his regular avatar. [Drew shows the drawing of Earl's avatar, which has him in his normal dress and slacks with suspenders and bowtie, but taller and more svelte.]

Ev: Oh, yeah!

Jess: So cute!

Ellie: Earl is the best.

Ev: Earl's the cutest character I've seen in my life. Oh my god.

Drew: Back to his cruising avatar! [laughs] [Earl is in a harness and g-string again in this drawing, but with his more "ideal" build as an avatar.]

Ev: Jesus Christ. [laughs]

Ellie: Wow.

Ev: Oh boy.

Drew: [showing another drawing] This is his partner that left him when he got downloaded into a robot!

Ev: Aw!!

Jess: [laughs]

Drew: Um, what's in the, uh Adventurer's kit?

Ev: Whatever we want, I think, right?

Jess: Yup! And, like, you can...

Drew: Whatever we want?

Ev: Well.

Jess: And if you can try to convince me it's like, something you would carry, I will just say yes to you carrying it, but you can't go ridiculous with it. You can't be like "I have the item we're looking for!" or "I have the Heart of the Dreaming!" Neither of those things are gonna happen, so, like.

Ronnie: [laughs] So, like, in Pathfinder there's actually a Perk called "Packrat," for Ratfolk, which is, if there is a mundane item that we need, I can just say "Oh, I happen to have it!"

Drew: That is one thing I like about Pathfinder, is that they give you, like you get to pick a couple qualities and they affect your characters, like what is that?

Ev: Oh, that's like what we have!

Drew: The [traits] are really cool, and they can be things that like affect your character, so one of the [traits] can be like you're rich, and you start out with like, three times the amount of money, but that wastes one of your [traits] so it only affects you at the beginning of the game, basically. Whereas, um, you can have a [traits] where, what is it? One of them is that I was an orphan, so everyone who didn't have parents trusted me more automatically.

Jess: Heh! It does kind of also sound like, uh, the proficiencies, almost. Which, are just things you're kinda good at. You'll get proficiencies, you can be good at stuff that isn't, like, directly based... like dancing and cooking an' things like that.

Drew: Earl's really good at tying things.

Ronnie: [laughs]

Jess: Okay.

Ev: That's not surprising.

Drew: We had that discussion.

Ellie: Can I have animal handling?

Jess: Yes, but you can apply it to robots.

Drew: Do you have a list of possible ones or are we just making them up and asking?

Ellie: I'm gonna apply it to robots.

Ev: Uhh... can we, I think we can make 'em up, right? As long as they're not weapon proficiencies?

Drew: Um, and how many do we get?

Jess: Uh, magic-user has three non-weapon, but a Druid begins with three non-weapon slots and gains another at level six, book rules suggest a character should receive two additional slots every six levels. [distant meowing] So you get up to five at level six. A paladin gets two non-weapon slots, one more is gained at level three. A thief acrobat, which is...

Ronnie: [distant] Sheppard, come here!

Sheppard: [continues meowing]

Ev: [laughs]

Jess: Um. [laughs]

Ev: Everyone be quiet, there's a cat talking!

[laughter]

Jess: I don't want to interrupt, but here's something else that's also useful. [sends link]

Sheppard: [meows louder]

[laughter]

Ellie: Jess, I want ancient history!

Jess: Okay. Oh, here's a great list, shit!

Ev: God, the background on this site is balls...

Drew: It's balls and ass!

Ev: [laughs]

Drew: It's a, like, hairy anus.

[laughter]

Jess: But it's useful! Look, I, I didn't make this site!

Drew: Just paste it to a google doc and save our eyes!

Jess: I will paste it into a google doc later!

Ev: [laughs] How difficult are we making your job right now, Jess?

Jess: Not, I mean, you just changed the rules of the game like six times, but...

Ev: Well...

Jess: But it's fine! [laughs]

Ev: It's like, okay so...

Sheppard: [meows loudly into the mic]

Jess: Oh my god that's the loudest cat in the world.

[laughter]

Ev: Who even is this cat?

Drew: You know what's even louder? I'm reading about a spell called Ghost Sounds that sounds completely useless.

Jess: What, what is the spell called Ghost Sounds?

Drew: Um, you just make a sound that people think could be a ghost. You send a whisper fifty feet away.

Ev: Ohhhh, I wish my character believed in ghosts! [laughs]

[laughter]

Jess: This is a decision, okay? Uh, so I decided that technomancy comes in three forms, and... There are Clerics who can like, religious people use their belief to manipulate the world and technology. Magic users use magic over technology to manipulate technology and, um, LARPers, Bards, that lot use technology to manipulate magic, and mechanically, that means that if you are a religious person, you roll under your Wisdom to Hack. If you are a Wizard, you roll under your Intelligence to Hack, and if you are a Bard, you use your Charisma to Hack. Because basically Bards sweet talk the machine into doing what they want.

Drew: "Hey baby... take your cables and tie them up real nice..."

Ronnie: Actually it's... [laughs]

Drew: "Heheheheheh..."

Jess: Earl is a terrible Wizard. Um, here is the other thing, Drew, I'm just making sure you know this... You can use spells that aren't in your spellbook, but you will forget them forever.

Drew: Okay...! I didn't know that, but now I'm like... I'll have to look into spells that I wanna have as like my eventually-I'll-forget-this-spell but it's a pull-it-out-of-my-ass kind of thing.

Ev: Your burn spells.

Drew: Yeah. I don't have my Ass Spells yet though, so.

Jess: Yeah, I just figured you should probably know that.

Drew: I appreciate that.

Ev: All of Earl's spells are Ass Spells.

Drew: Heheheheh!

Jess: [laughs] 'Specially those rope spells. Anyway! Moving swiftly... on!

Ellie: Alright, I was just saying I'm having swimming as one of HuM4n the robot's... proficiencies... even though HuM4n is a robot.

Ev: They could be waterproof. I mean, she could be waterproof.

Ellie: Yeah, but she feels uncomfortable!

Ev: [laughs]

Jess: It's so cute!

Ev: That doesn't sound like a proficiency!

Ronnie: [laughs]

Ellie: No, it's like she's, she's good at swimming, it's just she hates it!

Drew: That's fair.

Ellie: You know how you have parents and they're like "Err, you're gonna do this," and you're like "Why," and then you get good at it, and you're like "I still don't like it!"

Ronnie: [laughs]

Drew: Yeah.

Ellie: That's HuM4n's experience swimming.

Ronnie: Obviously Zibyl is good at sewing.

Ev: Aw!

Drew: Why is it obvious?

Ronnie: Because, Zibyl made zeir clothes from garbage!

[chorus of "aww"s]

Ronnie: And also, uh, and also...

Drew: Why does, uh, Zibyl have red eyes? [Referring to a drawing Ronnie is making]

Ronnie: 'Cause that's what that breed of rat looks like!

Ev: [laughs]

Ronnie: Anyway! Zibyl makes zeir clothes from all of the hand-me-downs from zeir gazillion sibilings, and so...

Ev: Their zibilings?!

[laughter]

Jess: No!

Ronnie: Zeir gazillion ziblings! [laughs]

Jess: No!

Ev: [laughs]

Jess: No! Please... Okay, I'm going to get more water, you guys have to make some decisions! We have to move on this!

Drew: This, this list of spells is, like, terrible! It's so hard!

Jess: Yeah, you shitty spells 'cause you're a shit wizard!

Ronnie: [laughs loudly]

Jess: Get a promotion! Maybe get some better spells!

Drew: I more mean that it's difficult to find what it is, but that's fair! That's fair.

Jess: [laughs]

Drew: Um, you didn't get back to me about, you were going to think about my hat, because what you had told me and what the sheet said about what my hat can do is different, and you said you were going to think about it.

Jess: Yes. It can... buff you. Choose a buff. But choose a buff that isn't, like, "I want this for my character for gameplay reasons." Think about it in the world. Like, what did... wait, I can't remember Earl's... oh, Earl. Not deepthroat69, which is why I have it written here.

[laughter]

Jess: Um, what did Earl's, like, mentor... what would he, or she, or they have wanted to pass down to Earl? And what kind of person would they, like what kind of buff would they have put on that hat? So you think about that, I'm gonna get some water...

Ev: My character wants to mentor Ronnie's character, that's, like immediately what they, like... I was talking to Jess about this, they're... actually no, I was talking to Ellie about this I think!

Ellie: Mm-hmm!

Ev: Which is that, they want to take Zibyl under their wing and have Earl take zem under his wing! And then they'd want HuM4n to just not be there. [laughs]

Drew and Ronnie: [laughs]

Ellie: [in a robot voice] HuM4n understands, but will not comply. Beep boop!

[laughter]

Drew: I love it. ...There's not a lot of spells, because they're not sorted in any way, on this Wiki, so it's like going through all these shitty random spells that all like, does this weird obscure thing from this one side quest thing.

Ev: Hmm.

Jess: I'm back!

Ev: Well, I mean maybe you could think about what kind of effects you wanna have, and then just pick something that's similar to that and you can mod it, y'know?

Drew: Yeah, I'm just, a lot of them do things that I don't even know what they mean. So I'm just trying to find ones that make sense, 'cause there's a lot of like weird, stuff being like "alter normal winds" and "avert evil eye, means that Evil Eye doesn't affect you," and then I have to read about what Evil Eye is...

Jess: Evil Eye is someone watching ya. Creepin on ya.

Drew: Oh, okay. That's actually not bad.

Jess: Yeah, I mean I would say you could mod that and be like, it means that cameras around you will go out!

Drew: I like that!

Ev: I really wanna fast ask about, are we, are we doing alignments, because a lot of my stuff has to do with alignments. [laughs] And if it's, I mean, I can totally pick and choose and sort of ignore the whole Detect Evil stuff, but...

Jess: I think... [sighs] Ah, shit, are we doing alignments...

Ev: I don't want to have to be Lawful Good. I, like, that's the most boring thing about being a Paladin ever.

Jess: Oh, I'm definitely not, like, constraining anyone to anything, like...

Ev: Okay, okay...

Jess: Like, those systems exist, but you do not have to abide by, like, race restrictions, character class restrictions... all that shit. Nah. Nah son.

Ronnie: I think, Ev, is that, it's not necessarily that your character is Good because everyone's vision of good is different, just as long as your character falls within their scripture, the honoring the five things...

Ev: Yeah.

Ronnie: I can't remember which... the body things. The bones and the blood stuff.

Ev: Yeah, I think... Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with, like, they... maybe "evil" in this case is stuff that doesn't... well, that's a really really broad base... I dunno. I think maybe, maybe it would be best to just ignore the "what here is evil" skill, because it's so weird and broad, and it doesn't make much sense in terms of actual morality.

Jess: What about "What here is malevolent," or what if you have a virus scanner?

Ev: Ooh! That's exactly what I'm gonna do!

Jess: Like, you can just check if things have bad spells and bad viruses and shit.

Ev: Yeah! Okay, I love that. That's awesome. Oh, and I also have uh, a thing called "Aura of Protection," which is that if Evil tries to attack me within, like, a certain range, it take a -1 penalty, and I'm just gonna say I have really good antivirus software.

Jess: [laughs]

Ev: Okay.

Jess: Okay!

Ellie: So, Jess?

Jess: Hmm?

Ellie: I was thinking about "Speak with Machines." Does that mean there's more than one language with machines?

Jess: I think there might be multiple languages. Because there are like, Ev and I were talking and there are like, different platforms that can get you onto the Dreaming with, and we're making some analogies to like, Wizards and Clerics and Bards being, like, your Mac users, your PC users, and you Linux users. So that's that, and then like to get to the Dreaming you have different "browsers" quote unquote...

Ev: There's also like different programming languages in general that you can use.

Jess: Yeah. That's what I was thinking like, the different classes maybe create... they can all create robots, right? So maybe a robot created by a Cleric has a different language to one created by a Wizard, to one created just by mechanics, to one created by a Bard.

Ellie: But maybe robots speak just like, maybe the spell, 'cause I've got a spell "Speak with Machines," maybe they speak to each other on a spiritual level.

Ev: How would you communicate with a microphone that doesn't have any kind of... maybe that's what allows you to communicate with machines that don't have any kind of like, sentience or whatever, or...

Drew: Maybe you would give them sentience briefly?

Ellie: [dramatically] But Ev! We're ALL from the Earth!

Ev: Yeah but, I can't talk to cows!

Jess: [guffaws]

Jess: [quietly] Sorry.

Ev: Or I can but I can't communicate with them!

Drew: Oh dear.

Jess: Can I also just say, uh one thing we did talk about was that Hymn is the language of the Church of the Born, their like programming language is called Hymn. Like H-Y-M-N.

Ev: I, I thought it was more like, the language of religious things, because the Church of the Born, their whole thing is like, "we don't really do that," so... [laughs]

Jess: Okay, yeah, so maybe it's just that. Religious things.

Ev: Like Clerics use Hymn to do their shit.

Jess: Uhhh, oh, and I found the browser names for where you jack in. Uh, it's Reverie, which is like, Opera, and then Lotus and Morpheus are the ones we have already.

Drew: Uh, so this, uh, thing doesn't actually have anything about the duration of the spell or anything like that, in the Wiki.

Jess: Well, uh, we can just make up durations.

Drew: Kay.

Jess: [laughs]

Drew: We'll figure it out when I actually use it.

Jess: I figure that probably, yeah, it's probably just going to be as long as narratively relevant, so I might just cut it out at a slightly inconveniently time. Cause that's more interesting.

Ellie: Maybe it could be Luck dependent.

Jess: Oh shit yeah! That's a good idea.

Ev: [to Drew] You do have nice Luck.

Ellie: And I have terrible luck!

Ev: That's a great way to use that.

Jess: Yeah.

Ronnie: Also it's funny how the things that I'm interested in have snuck into this roleplay. I mean, rats is obviously one of them!

Jess: [laughs] It's not surprising.

Ronnie: Oh, but, since I'm actually reading through the AD&D book I have a second time, like highlighting shit, I'm just, the things that I've read are just coming into the...

Drew: The what book?

Ronnie: The ADD... the ADD book, sorry.

Drew: [laughs] The AD&D book!

Ronnie: Oh no! [laughs]

Drew: That's why I was asking what you said!

Jess: We're all... yeah.

Ronnie: The ADD book... uh, so I guess Zibyl has ADD traits now. [laughs] Because that's sort of what...

Jess: That's fair.

Drew: Can we go over talking about what my familiar does?

Jess: Oh yeah.

Drew: And like where...

Jess: Where is your familiar right now by the way?

Drew: I don't know! Um, I don't know what my familiar would look like right or anything. We could retroactively have my familiar on my shoulder. A small one?

Jess: Yeah. Or you could have it on your desk?

Drew: I, I could be so creepy, I'm like, "I have a rat familiar!"

Ronnie: Ahh!

Drew: Like a little rat!

Jess: Aw! [laughs]

Ronnie: See, I was thinking about, about Zibyl being like super fond of cats.

Jess: Ha!

Drew: But I feel like the cat wouldn't be the small one.

Ronnie: No, probably not a tiny one, unless it was a tiny cat.

Drew: I could have a squirrel!

Ronnie: Can I run a couple proficiencies past Jess?

Drew: I don't have my proficiencies...

Jess: Yes. You can.

Ronnie: Uh, proficiency in telling whether or not food is good?

Jess: [laughs]

Ellie: Like poison detection?

Ronnie: It's like, yeah, it's like poison detection, but it's like, people are like "That looks bad," and then it's like, "No, you'll only just get mild diarrhea, it's fine."

Jess: Ha!

Drew: Yeah, but that would require you to know other peoples' makeup if you can tell what's going to affect them. I can see how it would affect you, but then you'd have to know like everyone else's biological makeup to know how it affects them.

Ronnie: Hmmm...

Ellie: It could be through observation.

Drew: Yeah, it could be through observation, I just meant like you can be that specific in that sense.

Ev: It is though a pretty like, I mean you could be that specific just because it might not be, like, THAT useful

[laughter]

Ev: Like in general, like it's a very specific thing, you know? It's not like it's an overpowered trait or something, y'know?

Ronnie: [laughs] It's true.

Jess: I mean, it might not even be poison detection, technically. Like you can't tell if it's poisoned, but man, those eggs in the back of your fridge? You should really throw them out.

[laughter]

Jess: Oh! No! You know what this is? Like, I think it's a magic thing. Like, I think some of the ratfolk have this weird, like, inborn useless magic and yours is like, it's not even like because you can smell good, it's 'cause... you have like, a sixth sense of whether food has gone bad or not.

Ronnie: [laughs]

Drew: I feel like that's probably gonna bite Earl in the butt because he's gonna look through something and he's gonna want to eat it, and you're gonna be like "That'll make you sick!" and Earl's gonna be like "Fuck you!" and then eat it, and then he's gonna get sick, and he's gonna be like [dramatic gravelly sick voice] "Euurgh, I'm not sick, I dunno what you're talking about! I'm gonna go away now..."

[laughter]

Jess: I also like the idea of like just being able to sense that food is rotten is just kind of really annoying. Like, there's like a constant anxious "Oh shit, in the back of that fridge, it's got someone else's name on it, someone else has labeled it, but there is mould growing up the inside of it, oh god."

[laughter]

Ronnie: Yes.

Ev: And yet, like a totally useful skill if you're a little rat child!

Ronnie: Yes! And so I'm thinking that, and sewing, and... the other thing is... is just like able to sprint for a long time.

Jess: Real hard.

Ronnie: Like compared to other people. Just because, having to run from shit constantly. [laughs]

Ev: And four legs!

Ronnie: And so, and so, if something goes bad, he's just like gone. Bye.

Drew: So we get three, um, three proficiencies right?

Jess: I think you do, yeah, I think everyone at this level has three proficiencies.

Ellie: I get four!

Jess: ...Fuck you, Ellie. [laughs]

Ellie: Aw, whatever. [laughs]

Ev: Do you really or is that...

Jess: Druids get four, and Paladins start, like if we'd started at level one you'd have only gotten two.

Ev: Yeah I'm annoyed. Goddamn it, I chose the wrong class. It's okay, I'm gonna fight the heck out of everybody! Just gimme a minute! [laughs]

Jess: Let us pray.

Drew: Um, okay so I've got knots, like, as one of my proficiencies.

Ev: Catch.

Drew: Well, slash rope. Um, I want leatherworking to be one of my other ones, and then cooking.

Jess: Good. Yeah. Done.

Ev: [laughs] Oh my goodness.

Jess: Okay. Outro! This has been Dicey Situations! I'm Jess.

Drew: I'm Drew!

Ev: I'm Avery.

Ellie: I'm Ellie!

Ronnie: And I'm Ronnie!

Drew: [sarcastic] No you're not!

Ellie: Breaking it down now!

Jess: No!

[laughter]

Jess: This has been a podcast about a game that's kind of being made as we play. We'll find out. It should be fun. See ya next week! [Makes clicking noises, probably while doing finger guns]

[Music fades in]

Drew: [laughs]

Jess: [shyly] Stop laughing.

Ellie: [singing] Ba ba ba, ba ba bada!

[Music continues, then fades out.]

Drew: But before we continue, is this, are these mechanics popular, or are they unpopular mechanics?

Jess: They are really, really unpopular. They've been bullied in the past.

Ronnie: Awwww!

Jess: You NERD. I'm gonna bully Drew!

Drew: [laughs] Bring it on!

Ev: [laughs]

[wayfaringreader]

my time has come

in all seriousness here’s my favorite podcasts! also i love using overcast to listen to podcasts bc it’s easy to keep track of plus there’s voice boost (makes voices louder) and smart speed (cuts silences) which you can set by podcast or in general. (some like kalila stormfire i leave as is or it gets weird sounding, some with lots of talking i always use them on)

not knowing your tastes here’s a guided info dump: 

REGULAR PODCASTS OF PEOPLE TALKING:

Spirits two friends getting drunk and talking about mythology i love their your urban legends episodes and u really can’t go wrong with any of the episodes 

Join the Party one of the girls from spirits playing gay dnd with a bunch of nerds. just hearing the theme song lifts my spirits so much! i wasn’t into dnd podcasts at all (taz) because i had never played but their first episodes really walk you through it also if u wanna skip to the newer stuff they have little catchup episodes & they have little afterparty episodes where they break down what happened but they’re not necessary if you don’t want to listen to them. the Bachelorette Party (oh no we’re stuck in a dating show!) and Labor Party (each episode is a different task a la Hercules) were my two favorite arcs!

HORSE has the DM from join the party and the host from potterless (more on that later) talking about basketball and as a self proclaimed basketball-hater i’m confused by how much i like this? it’s about all the dumb stuff that goes on: NBA cafe? a team hired a witch to curse another team? a deep dive into whether aaron carter REALLY beat shaq? ep 14: do you have any sons? and ep. 19: sunny and i like it with jeffrey cranor are some of my favorite episodes 

Potterless the other guy from HORSE reads harry potter for the first time as an adult and it’s great. each episode has a guest that’s a big harry potter nerd and they go through all the books together. also 10/10 best ad reads on a podcast 

Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them two friends reading each other the weirdest harry potter fanfic imaginable and OH MY GOD do i struggle to keep it together when listening to this in public. just choose one based on the name and you’re in for a ride. if they have explicit content it’ll have a warning (if u want to avoid that) also don’t start with the anniversary episode!

Say More two poets interviewing each other (and sometimes guests) about various life topics. 10/10 healing and therapeutic to listen to & feel like ur at a fun cool girl sleepover. the audio quality gets WAY better after the first few. 6 - True Crime & Selena was super memorable but they’re all good episodes 

AUDIO DRAMAS:

Kalila Stormfire’s Economical Magick Services local witch for hire keeps an audio log of all the customers she has with a really good mysterious subplot & also a very cute romance. give it a few episodes (at least until case 3: music) bc i wasn’t sure at first but it gets SO GOOD

Wolf 359 space and it’s creepy for so many reasons - what’s out there? what’s inside the space ship? who are the people that sent us up here in the first place? i refused to listen to this for the longest time but if someone had said it’s creepy i would have been listening immediately 

Tides space marine biologist trapped on a planet voiced by one of the girls from spirits

Unwell midwestern gothic horror and i was SO SAD when i started listening right as they went on hiatus but it’s back and they’re working on season 2 and it’s so good!!!!!

Forest Guide a little mini series 4 episodes long about coming of age very pure and wholesome to listen to 

on a completely different note, 

i’ve been trying to get into podcasts and i have no clue where to even start. 

please guide me and tell me your favorite podcasts. tell me what you love about them! :)