#but like i feel like i couldve made this work
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im reading over some old chapters of something i wrote years ago and while the story is a mess, the writing is actually good and it pains me to have to delete it 😭😭
#im rewriting the same general story but with a better storyline if that makes sense#but like i feel like i couldve made this work#but at the same time its pretty similar to another thing ive read so maybe its not all that great#idk#kinda like it tho#boredbeestalk#boredbeeswrite
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hatsunegenia
#I couldve just made this an unrendered doodle#hatsune miku#miku#miku fanart#hallucigenia#cambrian era miku#lobopodian miku#lmfao#miku birthday#ive drawn i feel like countless mikus these past two weeks#like ive been working on a painting that i had to fully redo so thats two#then corn miku then this#and i had another one planned and now my mom wants me to draw her a miku#help#art to shit your pants to#digital art#worm
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Tell me, what's...
Tell me, what's your favorite colour~
#ore no kao#been a few selfieless weeks hmmm#had a fun third time seeing Tokyo Police Club Tues night--but ofc lucky#no. 3 was for their farewell show 🥲#also i feel like i made decent eye contact with Dave Monks (singer)--he was v cute lol#(part of me getting so into TPC may have been finding him attractive lol)#also still wish i couldve talked with the one cute guy on the L train after who seemed interested but oh well#but yeah past few weeks have been a bit of a lot given life/family stuff and work and all#hi :)#yes this is another post-show selfie in probably my favorite jock why
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Corphyeus did feel like a mustache twirling villain at the end of DAI but at least they gave him that cool speech "I saw the throne of heaven and it was empty! God is dead and we killed him! I will lead the flock back to the righteous path now that I know the truth™" but Elgarn'an and Ghilian'nan?? Their whole raison d'etre is 'blighted gods do evil shit' that's it. Meredith had a red lyrium Idol driving her insane, but that is not the whole reason she becomes evil. She had to witness her 7 yr mage sister become possessed by a demon and burn down her house killing her whole family in the process. That causes her to follow the Templar Order, gives her a very negative outlook on mages, and makes her strict in her governance of Kirkwall's circle because she believes she is doing the right thing by protecting mages from themselves. The idol just speeds up the process of her become more and more paranoid about mages, and one can argue, she wasn't entirely wrong about the mage situation in Kirkwall (see crazy serial killer necromancer running around for two whole acts). If they weren't going to do anything interesting with Elgarn'an and Ghilian'nan then they should've dropped them and focused solely on Solas.
#dont get me started on the executors plot point it adds nothing to the story and takes away a lot of complexity from the world of thedas#anything epler has had abt it sounds like cope!!#personally i feel DA games work better for me when the stakes are lower DAI was kinda pushing it but the way u act as a herald of a prophet#made it work it and the way the inquistor looks sounds and acts like some one no younger than 27 feels more believable#that they can be a leader of men BUT rook??#comes off as very goofy 19yr old giving life advice he picked up from reading how to win friends and influence ppl#the saddest part of all this is the elven gods couldve been SO interesting if they wrote the religious and political implications for it#cuz it was very weird posing as Neve's elven man slave when infiltrating the venatori cult#as they worship Elgarnan in all his pointy eared glory as a god meanwhile im just standing there?? second class citizen?? hello???#datv critical#datv#da posting
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my take on Edward and Lydia. The graphic novels pulling me back a little wont lie …
#taz balance#lydia edward taz#edward taz#lydia taz#whatever their tag is#idk about the accent colors but the skin tone hair is just always how i imagined them#i love the adaptation but theres a few choices i dislike like wonderland hvaing a clown theme instead of the gameshow feel#i like me a circus but the tv host personas just worked so much better for them also SORRY I hate the green skin so bad#i apologise to the green elf fans i cant stand it#also i have a vague memory of griffin saying they were dark elves that i probably made up but its just how ive always imagined them#also very minor nitpick wish the arc in the novel couldve had one more round so taako got to lose his beauty#its a minor nitpick just cause in the grand scheme of things its not very important and its brought up once#but that conversation with kravitz is so dear to me#tis whatever tho#is it obvious i like using tumblr tags a lot
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they shoulda let us see rook's reunion with their companions right when they rescued them from the fade prison. cowards.
#mage talks#da4 spoilers#like... you mean rook was such a good leader that not only did they bring the team together to finally defeat an elven god#but when another elven god trapped their leader in the fade#they all were able to band together on their own and work without rook bc they were all so determined to bring them back????#a team that couldnt even operate cohesively when it was formed despite the fact they were all skilled professionals in their fields#a team that needed someone like rook to bring them together on a personal level as well as professional#a team that clearly could do things on their own now didnt even think for a moment to go after elgarnan and solas without their leader#because they could have. they couldve just written rook off as dead and thought they needed to save the world for the people theyd lost#like god rook was truly their linchpin and the only time we feel that and see it clearly is in that moment when they hear their team#and we just get a cut to the lighthouse meeting#that would have been such an incredible and emotionally charged reunion and we just got the fucking huddle#and the varric thing gets a side mention from... idk i think 2 people?? maybe???#and the time loss i thought they made it seem like it was days but other people are saying it was weeks????#idk i should go to sleep for real for real
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can russia and north korea just nuke us already this is hopeless
#sorry to be so fatalistic on main i just have zero faith in the american public atp#i just rly wanted to believe that more americans couldve used this opportunity to prove to the rest of the world that we arent all a bunch#of sensationalist/conspiracy-driven/aggressively braindead/violent/bigoted alt-right lunatics#& i never had much faith in kamala & walz to begin with obviously im incredibly cynical towards these status quo gatekeepers and the#downright impotence of the neoliberal democratic party#but this wouldve been an easy swerve away from dozens MORE of horrible awful inhumane policies that will ultimately vanquish#the quality of life for the entire american working class like myself and our already pisspoor education system and our lousy#climate change policies and impossible living standards#but no unfortunately there is no way in hell for americans to prove even a modicum of intelligence or worth we're all basically suicidal#and despite my own immense yank bashing tendencies and complete disdain for our government i really wanted this country & my ppl to defy#our own reputation of being so fucking stupid and backwards i really did. in the tiniest little place of my heart was legitimate hope#& a tiny bit of patriotism thats now been squashed completely & this was just another large-scale international humiliation that we legit#voted that guy BACK IN after everything that has happened the last four even eight years. its unbelievable.#again obviously i dont like kamala but it still wouldve been a grand opportunity to stall against what the gop is already destroying#and with push and shove we could have made slight progress forward as a country and try to protect our social programs#be it as flawed as they are and with enough support we could have strengthened them a little. make drugs less expensive. continue forward#with clean energy decreasing our use of fossil fuels even more.#protect our education system so the up and coming generations could receive higher standards of learning than what the rest of us had#NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. im too poor to continue living here and im too poor to fucking leave !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SORRY THIS WAS EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY LONG THANK U FOR READING IF U DID MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE MUSH RIGHT NOW SO I DONT KNOW HOW#INTELLIGIBLE THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE#and if this makes anyone mad @ all then ill just delete it cuz by god i dont need more grief and self hatred !#txt
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Still thinking about this bc being a shitty teacher isn't the same as being evil and yet- *gets shot*
#Porter discourse bc good god if theres ever a character that I could write at length about their character assassination its him#Porter becoming comically evil for a bit I can handle but then the grooming being tacked on is like horrific in a way thats like.. okay#but why did that have to happen??#and I don't think brennan meant anything malicious by it y'know? it was more like 'hey! Emily would LOVE this & she'll still play fig!'#And yes the seeds were planted in sophomore year with the nightmare kings crown and Ragh#But we also saw how he was when working with other students and how much he cared for Ragh zelda and Fig like he was proud of his students#HE BECAME PROUD OF GORGUG#So to find out he was basically just grooming Kip is like- and then the seriousness of the grooming isnt addressed#its not handled with the level of seriousness like when the table realizes Bobby Dawn groomed Sandra Lynn#It's played as a bit and it feels like are we eating our cake and then having it too by making him a bumbling idiot in the finale when#he was shown as clever enough to fly under the radar except to fig who in the meta emily kept playing up the porter is evil bit bc no one#else believed it and it was funny to play up fig being extra sus of him#but then its also like okay we dont care about the grooming now also because it was kipperlily who they were beefing with- its just?#I wish the grooming never because part of it and I feel like thats the thing that bothers me about junior year and Porter specifically#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Porter cliffbreaker#not main d20 tagging this bc i know I'll look fucking insane but I do think porter as the big bad couldve been cleaner and it made me lose#a little faith in the storytelling of FH and made me not want a senior year#it kinda turned me off from d20 like i just have been less interested and the last 3 episodes are a massive reason why#and now theres too much shit left hanging so its like.. we kinda need a senior year but its like.. ehh.
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thinking about cinderlion kits and how hollytufts reaction to flywhisker and snaptooth leaving to become kittypets was to aggressively call them traitors
#i speaku#rotating these six guys in my brain#i know i said i wish cinderlion had way smaller litters and i still feel the same way now but i can still think about them#w a dynamic of having drifted apart due to the shit theyve been going thru as well as the distance bet the two litters bc of age and stuff#nd spotfur feeling so ostracized from her fam bc of 'gestures at everything'#im ngl the first lotter really genuinely are kinda just there 😭#litter*#i wonder if you couldbe just made them be one singular cat and it wouldve worked better#thats an interesting dynamic i think... a one kitten litter being excited over the prospect of having siblings when cinder n lion announce#the news and getting devastated when two of the second litter decide to leave#maybe they n spotfur couldve beeb close once but the hypothetical only child just xouldnt get rid of those feelings of betrayal and anger#that their sibs left just grew very distant bc of that#i like sibling dynamics have i mentioned that yet
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maybe i do need to go to therapy bc its probably not good that ive been living on autopilot and the last 7 years went by so fast but also bc i was deliberatly Wanting the time to go by to put as much space between me and the events of 2017-2020 as possible all while somewhat knowing my young adulthood was slipping me by and now both my teenage years and my early 20s are gone and i still feel like my 19th birthday was yesterday yeesh!!
#i do feel like im out of time completely and its kind of.making me insane bc its not fair lol#life could be worse! but it couldve been a lot better too#like on one hand i think i had a normal reaction to exceptionally traumatic shit happening to me with no support system.#and everything that happened was caused by shit out of my control and i Know that bc i spent my teen years specifically working hard to Be#in control#like i did make the choice to give up sure. but that was when absolutely every effort had been exhausted#and theres only so much a human being can take especially when i was so young#but on the other hand!! even when i found a support system and things are better now than they were#i still feel like im trapped perpetually in this Waiting period#waiting for life to begin Waiting for an OPPORTUNITY to make my life begin already#and no effort on my part yields anything so i have no choice but to WAIT#but im TIRED. of waiting#im sick of seeing videos of people way younger than me making art ive always dreamed id have made by now#theres also this invisable wall i have always had built around me that is Impenetrable and i keep hitting it#and its gotta be me but it really feels like the universe has some unseeable chains on me which aounds so stupid#but im not allowed to get passed it#im way past the point of even being capable of showing the agony it causes me now like its just a dull joke#ANYWAY the fact ive typed all this makes me think ok. yeah maybe it is time to talk to someone LOL#carry on im fine this happens to me all the time. helps to get it written out at least
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The fact that Dawn Summers' favorite sandwich is salami + peanut butter (5x19) will never not be funny to me because the monks did that to her ON PURPOSE!!!!!!! Like why??
They were trying to create a human teenager and in so doing they gave her so many normal teenage qualities like an interest in keeping a diary, being moody, and a need to slam doors and act out and screech at an impossibly high pitch when she's upset which is all fine, totally normal teen behavior
But then they also decided she should be a kid who is gonna get bullied every day at lunch by eating weird sandwiches and liking anchovies on pizza (7x07). And on top of that they made her clumsy and socially awkward and fairly dorky with her mother/daughter book club membership and I swear Dawn thinks her best friend is Janice but she's actually closer to her own family and Buffy's friends and just??? She's already a key, is that not hard enough??
The monks went into create-a-sim and made Dawn Summers. THEY COULD HAVE MADE HER REMOTELY NORMAL AND CHOSE NOT TO I'M????? I mean to be fair she is made out of Buffy who also isn't at all remotely normal AND I adore Dawn exactly as she is and being "normal" is a stupid and overrated concept of course OF COURSE. Seriously, all the love for Dawn being her funky self but like the monks could've cut poor Dawnie a little slack I'm just saying. A hell god is looking for her they could at least make middle school surviveable
#dawn summers#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#tuserjana#i know theres a chance that the spell couldve just crafted dawn but im choosing to believe otherwise#that one monk tells buffy very clearly that they made everyones memories of dawn and that feels purposeful to me#like it wasnt just random#they crafted those#also theres that whole part where glory thinks tara is the key and says she likes all the 'detail work' the monks did#that they gave the key 'quirks foibles passions'#so even glory is under the impression that the monks didnt just cast a spell and things happen#they created an entire human being#the monks went into create a sim and made dawn summers
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taking a break from writing band of brothers to watch band of brothers i take my job very seriously
#took me 2 days to watch the last patrol i kept pausing it to take screenshots of speirs and replaying scenes. mr normalman in the house#i know ron was the first to congratulate lipton but they couldve let him say smth when they made it official..... for the crumbs#ive been writing all day and im still like damn i miss them bc im writing pre war so it feels like Less Them....#love my absurdly rich boy ron and his working class bf tho. putting them in situations
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my brain . is fucking soup. adhd medication shortage my ass JUST MAKE MORE OF THEM ‼️‼️‼️‼️ I CAN'T KEEP GOING ON LIKE THIS GIRL HELP
#musings#i had to leave work within an hour because i just Couldn't Do It today#i like . think i maybe couldve if nobody got onto me about being on the floor at exactly the right time. maybe#i was already feeling bad but having my Time Issues laid bare made me. idk. frustrated??#im usually great about this stuff. y'know when i have my meds#it's been like. a month. im going insane
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if u like l4d you should play drg its like l4d but endlessly fun
#-- like left for dead in the loose sense that ur given a task to complete while fighting hordes of enemies. and its good#never gets boring bc you always have things to work for and missions to complete and the worlds are randomly generated#it runs off a 'battlepass' system but its one i actually enjoy. youre able to switch between seasons at any point with saved progress#all of the mission types are fun and it continually adds new enemies/encounters/structures as you play#like im still finding new shit w my friends n ive played like 150 hrs#it feels so rewarding challenging fun...... im constantly awed by how much thought is put into the mechanics and the environment#theres sooooooo many ways they couldve made this game annoying like so many others. but they dodge the bullet every time
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watching good man goes to war and the balls they dropped having 13 grapple with gender feels like an actual physical injury right about now
#i could make this worse by watching some choice 12 episodes i think#i was watching into the dalek earlier but i didnt watch the am i good scene#coudl watch 8x12#it does feel different with 12 but i really really REALLY you dont get it **REALLY** wish 13 couldve grappled with like#the whole good-man combination concept shes made over the years#12 putting so much work into being Good#but never realising the way they tied that to Man like#good-man = good-person#like!!! SHE SHOULDVE FACED THIS#YOU HAD A SEASON 11 CHIBNALL YOU HAD A SEASON BEFORE THE MASTER#im gonna chew off my own leg#bite bite maim kill
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i forgot to finish my fucking post before turning off my pc. another au where both emet & lachesis exist in present time but maybe lachesis is hydaelyn or maybe he simply dodged the sundering unintentionally perhaps he was near emet for whatever reason & maybe the wol is their sundered child. scratches neck. idk i like the idea of them being opposed forces on a relatively even field. also i started thinking about it bc of like. ancients living until their duty to the star is fulfilled. & had a thought of lachesis embracing & perhaps trying to soothe him as he tries to convince him to let go. that hes spent such a horribly long amount of time working toward a goal he knows will never come to pass, not the way he wants it to. & that hes long fulfilled his duty. & its time to rest now
#ffposting#hildemet#wol watching their doomed yaoi unfold at the end of shb: (shuffles feet awkwardly) this feels like a reverse divorce can i go now#now big problem. the azem crystal.#mhmm. emet couldve made it for lachesis like normal. but it ends up being passed down onto the one who needs it#parents from another life bestowing power upon them... joint parting gift...#i can work anything out. i can literally imagine anything
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