#but like I know that people who don't know what I am will paint me with the nuance-less brush of
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Hiii! How would slashers react if their usually soft s/o ask them to kill someone for whatever reason?
OOOOHH I LOVE this idea!! give me a sec to whip something up!! (Post production edit: I'm so sorry it took so long! I had a long spell of creative rut!)
VARIOUS SLASHERS WITH SOFT S/O ASKING THEIR PARTNER TO KILL SOMEONE FOR THEM!
Includes: Jason, Micheal, Vincent Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Bo Sinclair, bubba Sawyer, Thomas Hewitt, Charles Lee Ray, Freddy Krueger
AS ALWAYS MDNI! I AM AN 18+ PAGE! THANK YOU!
Jason Voorhees:
Jason was confused to say the least- you WANTED him to kill someone? What did that bastard do?
When you first come to Jason, your usually cheerful face set in grim determination, and almost resignation- he feared the worst, that you wanted to leave him.
But when you uttered the question, when you asked him to kill someone- his already dead heart felt like it may break again- what did they do? Why did you feel the need for him to kill them?
Does he need to make them suffer? How badly did they hurt you?
It may be overwhelming how many questions he asks (signs) you.
Of course in the end he will of course kill the person- if for nothing else than because he cares for you and your mental health.
He will set you up all cozy before he leaves to do the deed, leaving you with blankets and movies and hot cocoa.
Michael Myers:
No questions asked- he is out the door.
dont even expect to be able to explain WHY you want this guy/girl dead- he will already be grabbing his weapon and heading for the door.
Of course he will make it especially painful- they hurt his S/O after all.
But once its done, he'll slink home, wrapping his arms around you from behind and burying his face in your neck, still bloodied from the asshat who DARED make you upset.
And of course he would cuddle you close, silently holding you and stroking your tummy, low growls are expected if you try to get up at all.
he probably will keep you home for the next few weeks- for your 'protection'
and he does mean it!!!
he wants you safe!!
Even in his own fucked up way <3
Vincent Sinclair:
Vincent will pause- eyes scanning you- thinking perhaps it was a joke
you HAD to be joking right?
but when he realized you weren't his stomach turned-
what the hell had this bastard done? clearly he didn't DESERVE to be immortalized- so of course Vincent wouldn't use him at all in his art
rather making Lester 'dispose' of the body quietly
he would make it painful- violent; much more than usual
Once the deed is done he will coddle you, showing you little sculptures, or if you are interested in art- draw and paint with you, his watchful gaze never leaving you- you were his messiah, his god/dess you were his everything-
he would make sure you were safe.
even though he would usually leave this to his brother, it's personal now
Lester Sinclair
Now Lester, he's taken off gaurd by this request, you his sweet lil angel cakes are asking him to off someone?
But of course he won't tell you no.
He will make sure to get his Bowie knife all ready to 'take ojt the trash'
He will ask how painful it should to be
If your crying when you ask, even more reason for him to make that bastard suffer worse than they made you suffer.
Bo Sinclair
Bo doesn't ask anymore questions.
All he needs to know is when where and who.
Of course he will make it painful
And of course he will make the fucker suffer, maybe he will even remove a few fingers to torture them.
He wants his partner happy, so hearing you ask him to kill someone sent him off the fucking rails.
Bubba Sawyer
Bubba sees red
Why would you of all people want someone dead?
Unless they hurt you real bad.
That makes him really angry
He doesn't like the idea of you being hurt, let alone someone else hurting you so bad you don't want them alive anymore.
It will be painful
And slow
He knows how to kill fast, so it stands to reason if he doesn't hit vital points he can make them suffer longer
Thomas Hewitt
Tommy sees red, very similar to bubba
Except he will put on a full on manhunt for the fucker
Using more phycological methods first, stalking them like prey
Before snatching them up and ending them brutally
Charles Lee ray
An excuse to kill some sad mother fucker? Gladly.
But when he sees the tears in your eyes, the way you are shaking, it's personal.
It isn't any longer something to waste time.
This fucker hurt his partner.
This bastard dated touch what was his.
Honestly he will probably fillet the fucker
Freddy Krueger
He won't make it easy.
He will torment the bastard for weeks in their dreams before finally striking.
And of course he won't let you forget that you asked him to kill someone
Of course he is worried, he doesn't fully grasp what the sudden change was about, but he doesn't mind killing for you.
#slasher fucker#slasher boyfriend#slasher x reader#slasher hcs#slasher headcanons#vincent sinclair x reader#lester sinclair x reader#lester sinclair#vincent sinclair#bo sinclair x reader#bo sinclair#micheal myers x reader#micheal myers#jason vorhees#jason vorhees x reader#bubba sawyer#bubba sawyer x reader#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x reader#charles lee ray#human chucky#charles lee ray x reader#freddy kruger x reader#freddy krueger#18+ mdni#mdni blog
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Before the year ends, I want to say thank you for still following me! I know I've barely posted anything in what feels like years. Part of that is me trying to figure out a balance between art and my job.
A much bigger, truer part is that my best friend of 16 years died. The time between finding the brain cancer and her death was less than 3 weeks and all I felt for a long time was a hollow sense of utter unfairness.
Grief is such a strange new part of who I am, and what I've learned is that there's literally nothing new to say about grief. She's gone and I go to work and I live and I do my best and she's gone and I'll have to do that forever because she'll be gone forever.
Since then it's been almost impossible for me to paint or draw. Like my hands don't remember how to hold the pen and I find no meaning in it at all. I'm trying to get it back. I hope it does comes back and I hope I can find some joy in posting and sharing art and finding new interests again.
Right now it's just very hard. But sincerely, if you've read all this, if you're still following me, if you want to see what I'll do from now on,
I hope you get to hold the people that you love and I hope you get to follow whatever brings you joy
happy new year <3
#i don't know how to talk about this#but i'm starting to crawl back i think#so i wanted to give an update of some kind#death tw#i'm... well i'm not fine. but you know. i don't need checking in and i have a lot of people helping me.#it feels good! to write it down and somewhat explaining the state of my online presence#i know that new years arent real in terms of new beginnings or anything changing. but maybe it could be! things could get better.
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kinda scared my first time requesting something but could you do a killua x reader where the reader is a idol and killua and reader have like a secret relationship tysm i love your fanfics btw
pizza—
ᯓ killua
oneshot
note; well my brain was working but then it crashed so this is sooo buns 😭😭🙏🏾 but you did an awesome job so don't worry 🫶🏾 I did not proof read this
"y/n, you're on in 10 minutes... where's your outfit?"
"how am I supposed to know— I thought JJ was getting it from the place."
"that was like 20 minutes ago?!" Your manager, Julissa begins to pace around your dressing room, gnawing at her fingertips in a state of worry. You are sat in front of your vanity with the various hair stylists and makeup artists surrounding you like a sworn of bees. This was nothing new but you have to admit, it does get pretty overwhelming when there's constantly a makeup brush in your face or someone's fingers picking at your hair.
you swipe on your phone, scrolling through various posts made about you by your loyal fans. They were posting about your upcoming show with various creative hashtags and cute handmade posters. You absolutely adored your fans they meant everything to you if it wasn't for them— you wouldn't even be here today.
'YORKNEW'S TOP IDOL, (your idol name)'
but with every famous idol, there comes some—or many complications like who were you dating?
what's your sexual orientation? You know, the usual. You've seen some posts made on TikTok that apparently you were with some chick? Which that CHICK happen to be your manager.
people always mistake you two for a secret gay couple which was funny when you told her about these absurd rumors.
you love the girl, but you had someone else on your mind.
"Isa," you say, placing your phone down for a moment. You swat away the professionals working on your appearance to sit up and walk over to your loyal best friend. Julissa looks up from her phone with an anxious expression painted over her tinted face.
you sigh and rub her shoulders carefully, "It's okay, things are going to be okay. Do you know how many times JJ is late with these things?" You snicker. She pinches the bridge of her nose with a faint sigh, "Gosh, why do we still have him?"
"because he sells me that good stuff." You wink. Julissa gives you a look that makes you chuckle nervously. "I'm kidding!"
"you better but, later save me some green." She winks back at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes. You smile at your bestfriend and nod.
"of course."
you slide your hand off her shoulder when you hear a knock at the door, Julissa is the first to look with an eager expression. "Is that JJ?" She runs after the door, you following along.
when the two of you reach the door she swings it open about to make a scene when she suddenly comes to an abrupt halt. It wasn't JJ.
"who is it?" In a curious tone, you ask as you move to the side of the door to get a clear view.
your eyes widen when you see the mysterious person.
"It's you again," your bestfriend sets a hand on her hip. You look at the silverette as he holds a fresh and hot pizza box.
"yeah, someone ordered pizza again." He responds almost sarcastically. The two glare at each other as if there is some weird rivalry going on between them while you stand awkwardly in silence. You clear your throat suddenly and smack your lips.
"uhmm okay! Can you guys get out for some privacy reasons?" You turn toward your staff, they look at each other oblivious then shrug and leave the room, walking past the silverette with no other thoughts. You motion the boy to come inside with a finger, Julissa watches him carefully.
as you walk to your wallet you turn towards your bestfriend with a sheepish smile, "Hey do you mind giving us some privacy real quick as well? I uhm, just need to tell him something." Julissa looks at you then the 'pizza deliver' then back at you. Her sharp suspicious glare spoke volumes when she sighs and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
you wait till you hear the door click to let out a sigh.
"I think that went well." You smile, looking at him. Killua looks at you with a eyebrow.
"you think?" you set your wallet down and walk towards him, he sets the pizza down on a table nearby and watches you as you grow near.
"I've missed you." You mutter. You cup his pretty face to squish his cheeks together. He makes some disturbed noises as you play with his face with a laugh.
"I can tell.." killua grips your wrist causing you to stop messing with his face. You look at him and smile nervously, he looks unfazed but smiles nonetheless.
his sapphire eyes softening in your gaze as he leans in, still holding onto your wrists. As soon as you know it his lips are against yours, such a electrifying sensation you missed so terribly.
you couldn't exactly kiss him in public, it would be too much of a risk, so moments like these were crucial and special to the both of you. You tilt your head and kiss the boy back with some force, you feel him smile against your lips just causing you to do the same.
after a few minutes or so you let him go to pant heavily, you hadn't left his eyes which were now burning with unspoken desire... It made your tummy flutter when he stared at you like that, made you nervous...
you playful push him away with a bashful smile, "you know we can't do anything now.."
"not even a—"
"no, killua." You interrupt with your sharp glare. He backs off and pouts. "You're no fun."
"and you're a pervert." You smile, walking over to peck his cheek and continue to the door. He follows behind, restraining himself from grabbing you by the waist and tonguing you down.
"thanks for the pizza, I'll make sure to pay you back." You wink, a coy smile evident in your lips. Killua reaches for the handle, "Yeah I want my money back, you big back." He teases.
you roll your eyes, playfully flipping him off. He returns the gesture with his tongue out, you smile at this and groan.
"bye asshole!"
"bye idiot." With that you two stare at each other with a loving glint before he leaves you with his hands tucked into his pockets. You open the door and watch him leave with a longing look. Little did you know Julissa was lingering around the door and spooked you.
"you're fucking the pizza guy??"
"HOLY SHI—"
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hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.
#ramble#literally very hot. like very hot#there is so much sweat#'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it#trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do#and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT#i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me'#*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones*#it's all fearmongering and it's SICK#personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL
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CRAB IS YOUR MOON OKAY WITH HUGS?
PLEASE THIS GUYS NEED SOME AFFECTION
LET ME JUST-
GHHHHHH-/pos
#fnaf moon#Moon New Do Same You AU#fnaf dca#dca fandom#mutual shenanigans#other people's art#crab art#traditional art#Moon likes hugs#but he's very particular about them#he prefers hugs around his shoulders or his waist#he does not like being hugged from behind#he does not like being hugged by surprise#he's a bit skittish#like a cat#you have to learn his habits#and sometimes just wait for him to come to you#you know i am up to No GoodTM when i draw extreme close ups of Moon and his back#i also don't know what possessed me to do this in watercolours#but... i'm okay with the final look#i'm just very rusty#and i remembered why the last time i painted in watercolour i went into an artblock#it really do be a “trust the process” kinda deal#also for people who saw the wip#haHA you thought this was about moon ass but it was actually MOON ANGST#MOON ANGST FRIDAY#i always post my moon angst on friday it seems
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As usual I read your tags always and so you said Apollo did not ask for resurrection of Asclepius and Hyacinthus so i just wanted to share this. About Asclepius death I read it on theoi.com, that earlier authors don't make him resurrect as a god but that's a later development mentioned only by Roman authors like Cicero, Hyginus and Ovid. But still Apollo has a role in Ovid's version
Ovid, Fasti 6. 735 ff (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) : Clymenus [Haides] and Clotho resent the threads of life respun and death's royal rights diminished. Jove [Zeus] feared the precedent and aimed his thunderbolt at the man who employed excessive art. Phoebus [Apollon], you whined. He is a god; smile at your father, who, for your sake, undoes his prohibitions [i.e. when he obtains immortality for Asklepios].
So here it is actually because of Apollo the decision was taken to resurrect him as god. And with Hyacinthus, I don't think I've read about Artemis playing the primary role. I know in Sparta there was a picture of Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite carrying Hyacinthus and his sister to heaven.
This is not on theoi.com but I saw on Tumblr it's from Dionysiaca by Nonnus
Second, my lord Oiagros wove a winding lay, as the father of Orpheus who has the Muse his boon companion. Only a couple of verses he sang, a ditty of Phoibos, clearspoken in few words after some Amyclaian style: Apollo brought to life again his longhaired Hyacinthos: Staphylos will be made to live for aye by Dionysos.
So since he is singing inspired by amyclean stories it probably means in that place it was believed Apollo was the one to bring back his lover to life.
Apollo as god of order was very important so i think it shows how special these people (and admetus too) were to him that he decided to go against the order for them 🥺
ANON!! Shakes you like a bottle of ramune!! BELOVED ANON!!!!! I'm littering your face with kisses, I'm anointing you with olive oil and honey - you absolutely made my night with this because, not only did I get the pure serotonin shot of having someone interact with my tags (yippee, wahoo!!) I also got to have that wonderful feeling of "oh wow, have I misunderstood something that was integral to my understanding of this myth/figure this whole time or is this a case of interpretational differences?" which is imo vital for my aims and interests as someone who enjoys mythological content and literature.
I'll preface my response with this: Hyacinthus is by far the hardest of these to get accounts for because his revival itself, as you very astutely point out, is generally accounted for in painting/ritual format which muddies the waters on who interceded for what. I wasn't actually familiar with that passage from the Argonautica - and certainly didn't remember it so thank you very much for bringing it to my attention!
That said, what I've come to understand, both about Hyacinthus and about Asclepius is that in the accounts of their deaths, Apollo's position is startlingly clear.
For Hyacinthus, it is established time and again that Apollo would have sacrificed everything for him - his status, his power, his very own immortality and divinity. Ovid writes that Apollo would have installed him as a god if only he had the time:
(Ovid. Metamorphoses. Book X. trans. Johnston)
Many other writers too speak of how Apollo abandoned his lyre and his seat at Delphi to spend his days with Hyacinthus, but they also all agree that when it came to his death - he was powerless. Ovid gives that graphic account of Apollo's desperation as he tries all his healing arts to save him to no avail:
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book X. Apollo me boy, methinks him dead. trans Johnston)
Bion, in one of his fragments, writes that Apollo was "dumb" upon seeing Hyacinthus' agony:
(Bion, The Bucolic Poets. Fragment XI. trans Edmonds)
Even Nonnus in the Dionysiaca speaks constantly of Apollo's helplessness in the face of Hyacinthus' fate where he writes that the god still shivers if a westward wind blows upon an iris:
and when Zephyros breathed through the flowery garden, Apollo turned a quick eye upon his young darling, his yearning never satisfied; if he saw the plant beaten by the breezes, he remembered the quoit, and trembled for fear the wind, so jealous once about the boy, might hate him even in a leaf...
(Nonnus, Dionysiaca, Book 3. trans Rouse)
And the point here is just that - Apollo, at least as far as I've read, cannot avert someone's death. He simply can't. Once they're already dead - once Fate has cut their string - all Apollo's power is gone and he can do nothing no matter how much he wants to. And this is, as far as I know, supported with the accounts of Asclepius as well!
Since you specifically brought up Ovid's account, I'll also stick only to Ovid's account but in Metamorphoses when we get Ovid's version of Coronis' demise, he writes that Apollo intensely and immediately regrets slaughtering Coronis. He regrets it so intensely that he, like he does with Hyacinthus, does his best to resuscitate her:
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo's regret)
And like Hyacinthus, when it becomes clear that what has happened cannot be undone, Apollo wails:
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo wept.)
Unlike his mother, Asclepius in her womb had not yet died and so, with the last of Apollo's strength, he does manage, at least, to save him.
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo puts the 'tearing out' in Asclepius.)
But it goes further than even that because Ocyrhoe, Chiron's daughter, a prophetess who unduly gained the ability to directly proclaim the secrets of the Fates, upon seeing the baby Asclepius, immediately prophesies his glory, his inevitable death and then his fated ascension:
(Ovid. Metamorphoses, Book Two. Ocyrhoe's prophecy. trans Johnston)
Before she too succumbs to her hubris and is transformed by the Fates into a horse so she can no longer speak secrets that aren't hers to share.
These things ultimately are important because it establishes two very important things: 1) Apollo can't do anything in the face of the ultimate Fate of mortals, which is, of course, death and 2) even when Apollo is Actively Devastated, regretful, yearning, mournful, guilty or some unholy combination of all of the above, when someone is dead, he accepts that they are gone. Even if he is devastated by it, even if he'll cry all the rest of his days about it - if they're dead? Apollo lets them go. In Fasti, when Zeus brings Asclepius back, he does not say Apollo asked him to - Zeus, or well, in this case Jove, brings Asclepius back because he wants Apollo to stop being mad at him.
(Ovid, Fasti VI. Apollo please come home your father misses you. trans. A.S Kline)
Even Boyle's translation which you used above in your findings hints that Zeus made Asclepius a god because he wanted Apollo to stop grieving. (i.e 'smile at your father', 'for your sake [he] undoes his prohibitions')
And like, Apollo was deeply upset by Asclepius' death - apart from killing the Cyclops in anger, in book 4 of the Argonautica, Apollonius writes that the Celts believe the stream of Eridanus to be the tears Apollo shed over the death of Asclepius when he left for Hyperborea after being chastised by Zeus for killing his Cyclops:
But the Celts have attached this story to them, that these are the tears of Leto's son, Apollo, that are borne along by the eddies, the countless tears that he shed aforetime when he came to the sacred race of the Hyperboreans and left shining heaven at the chiding of his father, being in wrath concerning his son whom divine Coronis bare in bright Lacereia at the mouth of Amyrus.
It all paints a very clear picture to me. Apollo did not ask for either of them to be brought back. Though bringing them back certainly pleased and delighted him, they are actions of other gods who are moved by Apollo's grief and mourning and seek to mollify him. Him not asking doesn't mean he didn't want them back which I think is a very important distinction by the by, but it simply means that Apollo knows the natural order of things and, even if it hurts, he isn't going to press his luck about it.
Which, of course, brings us to Admetus. And I'm really not going to overcomplicate this, Admetus is different because, very vitally, Admetus is not dead. Apollo can't do a thing once Fate has been carried out and Death has claimed a mortal but you know what he absolutely can do? Bargain like hell with the Fates before that point of inevitability. And that's what he does, ultimately for Admetus and Alcestis. He sought to prolong Admetus' life, not revive him from death or absolve him from death altogether and even after getting the Fates drunk, he's still only able to organise a sacrifice - a life for a life - something completely contingent on whether some other mortal would be willing to die in Admetus' place and not at all controllable by Apollo's own power.
All of these things, I think come back to that point you made - that Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore these people are very special to him if it means he's willing to go against that order but, I also wish to challenge that opinion if you'd let me. Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore, I would argue, that it is even more important that it is shown that he does not break the divine order, especially for the people that mean the most to him. The original context of my comments which started this conversation were on this lovely, lovely post by @hyacinthusmemorial which contemplated upon Asclepius from the perspective of an Emergency Medical personnel and included, in their tags, the very poignant lines "there's something about Apollo letting go when Asclepius couldn't that eats my heart away" and "you do what you can, you do your best, but you don't ever reach too far" and I think that's perfectly embodied with the Apollo-Asclepius dichotomy. Apollo grieves. He wails, he cries, he does his best each and every time to save that which is precious to him but he does not curse their nature, he does not resent that they are human and ultimately, he accepts that that which is mortal must inevitably die. There is nothing that so saliently proves that those who uphold rules are also their most staunch followers - if Apollo wants to delight in his place as Fate's mouthpiece, he cannot undo Fate. And, if even the god of healing and order himself cannot undo death, what right does Asclepius, mortal as he is, talented as he is, have to disrespect it?
The beauty of these stories isn't that Apollo loved them enough to bring them back. The beauty is that Apollo loved them enough to let them go.
#this is such a long ass post oh my god#ginger answers asks#This totally got away from me but I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS AAAA#Anon beloved anon I hope you don't take this as me shutting you down or anything because that really isn't what I'm trying to do#I'm definitely going to dig more into the exactness of 'who petitioned for Hyacinthus to be revived actually?"#I always stuck to the belief that it was Artemis because of the depictions of his revival + his procession is usually devoid of Apollo#I know some renaissance paintings have him and Apollo reuniting but that's usually In The Heavens y'know#I genuinely couldn't think of any accounts that have Apollo Asking for anyone to be revived#Apollo does intercede sometimes but that's usually for immortals like Prometheus#Or even when he's left to preside over Zagreus' revival and repair in orphic tradition#Concerning Asclepius there's like a ton to talk about tbh#There's the fact that in some writings (in quite a lot actually) the reason Asclepius was killed wasn't necessarily that he brought someone#back - it was that he accepted money for it#Pindar wrote about it and Plato talks about how if Asclepius really did accept gold for a miracle then he was never a son of Apollo#It's a whole thing really#I think it's very important that it's Asclepius in his mortal folly that tests the boundaries of life and death tbh#The romanticisation of going to any length to bring back a loved one is nice and all#But sometimes the kindest and most lovely thing you can do for someone is to accept it#Just accept that they're gone - accept that there was nothing that could be done and even if the grief is heavy - keep living#Maybe we won't all get our lost loves back#But there are definitely always more people worth loving if you just live long enough to find them#apollo#asclepius#zeus#admetus#greek mythology#ovid#oh my god so much ovid#hyacinthus#coronis
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does it ever make you sad to see a piece of art that is like. fierce or sharp or incisive commentary on society they exist within. and then see the absolute mush the artist was forced to produce for an artist's statement, so as not to trouble the people they're criticizing, who are also the people with the money to buy art
#it makes me genuinely so sad every time. i'm just like babygirl i can see your painting i know what it means.#you don't have to chew up the 101 level version of your content and regurgitate it into my mouth i am not a baby bird#and i hate that all the people who will pay your rent are.
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ugh I reallllyyyyy didn’t want to get in on this but like
The assumption that all atheists are people who’ve “never touched a religious text in their life” basically says to me you have a specific view of atheists and have probably not known many.
Most of them grew up IN the system and DO know the text and THAT’S why they walk away.
If you’re gonna make a whole post on ppl not using nuance with CR stuff right now the least you can do is use nuance yourself and not paint an entire group of people with a brush that TV taught you, or a bunch of white men into power *cough* Dawkins *cough* coopted a movement in a society where to not believe in god is synonymous with being immoral.
So just keep in mind, the representation of people without faith that you see on TV or twitter isn’t the majority and 9 times out of 10 isn’t correct at all.
thanks ^_^
#I learned a new word the other day#apatheism or something#b/c there isn't a word for what I am#but like I know that people who don't know what I am will paint me with the nuance-less brush of#oh you're atheist or whatever#but yeah#maybe also pick up on the nuance that Matt's putting down#that not all the Prime deities are the saammmme#can't paint them all with a brush too#just funny that so many people saying I want to be free to not worship anything rn brings so much ridicule#I'm sad ppl are taking a really fascinating complicated take on gods and such is being turned into this stupid fight#just BREATHE please#yes I'm sub-blogging a little b/c I don't want to get into it#I just want ppl to keep in mind that some people out there are ppl too#sorry I don't mean to go off but it's a sensitive point for me#something I never talk about b/c of opinions like that out there#can't wait to see my follower count drop b/c this sorta thing always does T_T#I just wanna be me and make the world a better place isn't that enough#Tria rants
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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition
Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another
You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed
Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)
Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can
I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that
Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn
#I won't say anything else on this; but I will say that to me one of the groups that it feels like is most forgotten is Syrians#including by me if I'm honest#I don't know what's currently happening in Syria... but... my understanding is it still hasn't really gotten better#assad is still brutalizing people last I had heard#so rather than saying anything else I'd prefer to simply focus on some people it feels like were forgotten back during Obama#and... and have remained forgotten#and I'm sorry I can't do more to help with the suffering in the world#but... you notice what I'm not having to do here?#I'm not having to throw a single other person under the bus#I'm able to just focus on how much I wish for Syrians to be ok (which is a hollow gesture on my part in many ways I think)#and I can keep all the focus on Syrians rather than throwing anyone else under the bus or doing any whataboutism#and that's literally all I'm asking of you fucking people#don't downplay human misery to try and make your thing seem more important#they're both fucking important... they're all important#there's so much suffering I can't even keep up with it#there's so much of it that I can only name without knowing the details; Congo; I believe Sudan is still suffering; Haiti#I don't know how things are in Ethiopia right now... I can't keep track#and none of these situations and the horrible things they're dealing with; things I haven't even been able to follow#none of it detracts from and of the issues I am following more closely#I don't need to compare them and say 'well it's not as bad'; because... bad is bad and any is too much#and nothing I say here will do a damn thing; no one'll hear and even if they did they'd ignore it or get pissed#that's what my evidence shows me about how people behave#but suffering isn't a competition; the correct amount is zero#and... perhaps I'd have more tolerance if I hadn't watched how you behave with stuff#...the worst part is the person I adore who... man... I wish I could just get them to really think through their words#they mean well; they're coming from a place of love; but I just haven't been able to paint the picture for them of the harm#and I'm flawed; I don't have all the answers; I could be wrong here#but... can you at least see why I feel that maybe we shouldn't pit misery against each other#that the people suffering have more in common with each other than opposed and... maybe westerners aren't fucking helping#eh... too fucking drained thinking about this; end of tags
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Been binging some new frogger vids at the moment (i heard 6v6 is coming back soon and am sadly getting hyped) and I had a horrifying realization about two of the characters in the series. behold my madness and weep at my lack of knowledge on both troll quadrants and character interactions. I'm not a fishmonger, I wouldn't know that stuff.
#the rot has gotten worse. this is just evident of it.#I caught myself saying gog today. it might be infecting my lexicon and fake swears like how when i got into 40k I picked up ork lingo and->#now use it unironically in my day to day. Don't like swearing but i like the challenge of having something similar.#and get this. this morning I thought to do troll cosplay.#?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 1: i dont even do halloween anymore? 2:I hate body paint/makeup/nailpolish/other junk you put on your flesh. just grosses m#out and gives me shivers just thinking about it. eugh.. 3:who in the warp would i even cosplay? Terezi? How would I even explain that???#yes hello family. I am breaking my halloween costume absence of several years now to cosplay as a random alien girl from an obscure ->#internet webcomic. Do not think about The Implications™ of that one bit. Don't know what i'm doing in this costume as i am too old for tric#or treating so you have even less to ponder about as I walk around the empty house as a random girl character covered in grey paint while#you all are at various halloween parties. This is normal [NAME-REDACTED] behavior and of no cause of concern or interest#luckily the it passed quickly but still. oi vey how long would it even take to get to that point? you homestuck gits know because I don't#ugh almost forgot i gotta do actual tags. don't want this to be too much of a ->#midnight brainrot#(heh see what i did there)#frogger#kismesis#overwatch#I do NOT pity the people coming across this mess while browsing the overwatch tag for some reason
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Eww just saw a terf/radfem in my notifs.
Just so we're clear, I don't tolerate y'all and will block on site! The second I catch even a whiff of terfy shit, let alone bold faced terfy shit, I am pretending you do not exist- there will be no debate because that lends credibility to your bullshit ideology. I am not arguing with a brick wall; I am not arguing with someone whose ideology is built on hate, misogyny, and the pain Olympics.
Hope this helps!
#couldn't find the post they tagged me in or whatever it was#but I was told it was very “not like other girls” of me#to say that the difference between men and women isn't as big as people act#and that feminism has slid backwards from “girl power!” to “I'm just a girl uwu” ass energy#I don't know who needs to hear this but you are not a gender crit or a radfem or a terf#you are 20 and need to interact with people who go outside and carry even an ounce of love in their hearts#the radfem/gender crit/terf bullshit (cause let's be real it's all the same shit in new paint) is built on misogyny#and tries to instill fear in you#they want you to be afraid and think they're the only sources you can trust because it fuels their agenda#I am begging y'all to log off and interact with trans people/women not involved in radfem shit#anyway go tell a trans person you love them#I was having a nice night we were all having a nice night#“women are just as capable as men” lol what are you a pick me? -radfems#can y'all be serious for like five seconds#gods above#rant I guess?#yeah sure this became a rant#lemme figure out how to pin posts real quick this needs to be at the tippy top#as if I wasn't already clear enough on where I stand#gods grant me some damn patience because if y'all give me strength I will start biting
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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I know I've thought about this plenty of times before, but it really sucks being someone who likes things very intensely and defines themselves by their interests a lot, when you were/are always surrounded by people who do nothing but make fun of everything you like.
#just... man it fucked me up#all I want to do is talk about what I like but I can't because I 'know' everyone will make fun of me#my mother my father my brothers every other relative except my grandma#and of course everyone in school including the teachers#like fuck man I still don't know how to get over it#this comes back to me not being able to let people see my art#though in a weird way. because that was always the only#thing I ever got compliments for. even the people who bullied me liked my drawings.#so it became this Thing#this super mega important thing I NEEDED to be good at so that anyone would ever say anything nice to me#like it's all I am and all I ever was#and I'm objectively not that good at it!!! I have this horrendous inescapable fear that paralyses me when I'm drawing or painting#because it matters too much. my entire worth as a person is this because I have nothing else#idk I'm way overthinking this but it just feels really frustrating#it's literally just some silly doodles in a sketchbook why can't I let people see. I've never thought anything bad about anyone else's art#so why do *I* have to be perfect?? when that doesn't even exist?!#I hate myself so much
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Gentle reminder that
Smart ≠ Wise ≠ Literate ≠ Jerk ≠ Know-it-all
A character can be really good with, say, numbers but know absolutely nothing of history. Or be really clever and tactical but never once in their life has opened a book. Or be a genius when it comes to music, but being a complete idiot when trying to efficiently arrange objects in certain space. Or instinctively coming up with clever solutions, but lacking the words to express them. Or having a very vast vocabulary, but but it's not someone actually clever.
The say way someone can posses a lot of knowledge in a variety of areas but being unable to put that knowledge to practice, to use, or intertwine that knowledge to find a new and creative way to come up with an answer to a problem.
There are a lot of way to be smart. A character can be smart and ignorant. A character can be smart but know oh-so-little about a lot of things.
Yes, the character can be your stereotypical know-it-all that has all the solutions in less than a minute, doesn't miss a thing, gets impatient and cocky because no one can keep up with them and so one, but it doesn't need to.
#Like look at me- I'm what everyone calls smart and do you think I'm a clever jerk that effortlessly solves all their problems??? lmao no#I'm just someone with like two braincells available- ask me anything about- idk- design#I can have a lengthy conversation about physics or history and so on#but try to get me to talk about cars#or fashion#or modern politics#i don't know a THING about those#You can also take as an example my friend- she's really REALLY smart#she's good with numbers- whatever thise numbers may be#she can do math like a calculator#all physics problems- no matter how elaborate and difficult - are a piece of cake for her#she can see a room a calculate how much paint or cement or wall tiles or rafters or whatever you'll need to make a renovation#she know how to code and knows how to make electronic circuits#try and ask her what ethereal means#she's so bad with words and explaining herself to the point that I am her intermediary when we're in a group#and she doesn't know English either#she knows only one language#I could go on and on#about people who are really smart in something and really dumb in another thing#myself included#it's more common to be smart in a few things and dumb in others than be a complete genius#and ofc you CAN write a complete genius if you want to#there's nothing wrong with it#just saying that it's not the only way to be smart or clever#writing#writers#writers on tumblr#writing humor#long post
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as i was saying
#necessary' sticker down from a wall#so that's fucked#it's all fucked.#and there's no room really even for me to express what i want to that's actually AZ#or at least neged isr policy#like the ongoing n*kba in wb#i see stuff about that every day on insta bc i have curated my feed such that i am receiving that info#but AZs don't even talk about that#and do you know why#bc a lot of them don't know details about anything happening on the ground#they know only broad strokes and express themselves in bombastic tweets and memes#it's ironic bc violent s*ttlers actually do fulfill their stereotype about how isr*elis see 🍉 people#on that note actually im glad they don't talk about it bc if they did they'd paint all isra*lis w that brush#oh yosi from dumbass hilltop ancient j*dea sheep cosplay outpost is a violent sob who is ethnically cleansing 🍉 villages bc he and his#buddies got bored of pretending to know how to shepherd?#and he wants all 🍉ians gone bc he's racist and k*hanist?#clearly all isr think that way#/s#but fucking hell - the eye dee eff and the cosplay sheep yosis are using the cover of war to distract everyone from the fucking aggressive#ongoing n*kba#and i call it that bc im not speaking only of s*ttlement building#which is ... complicated#but specifically pushing 🍉ians out of towns and villages where they live#which is dif from s building bc many s's exist alongside p towns#and yes their presence causes issues and there's water stuff but this is. a whole different thing#also j*nin - i am less knowledgeable about that but its also quite bad from what i can see#but yeah i rly feel like no one is talking about this except these few little orgs explicitly dedication to protective presence#ALSO#this is absolutely a thing z's can talk about and advocate for#cause if you're an lz this is theoretically smth u rly oppose right?
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#the mental illness is really mental illnessing tonight#it's just... my period. it's just the hormones in my body. that's all#it's just the reoccuring aching feeling of.... that weird feeling I get stuck in#people have always wanted to be my friend but never wanted to be my friend#just an idea of me#and I know. I know. I know it's the /fucking/ DID probably and how long it went undiagnosed and unexamined#how was I *ever* expected to believe that a friend truly wanted to be my friend when each piece forms their own relationships with people-#but everyone else only forms a relationship with what they view as a Singular Me#years of reading messages and feeling like they're meant for someone else#years of conversations where I could tell someone was reaching for connection that I didn't feel. And either fumbling the ball terribly#or faking it#not understanding what was *wrong*#and I know the problem now but not how to fix it#I don't even know who I am. I don't. I don't.#Sometimes it feels so obvious. Sometimes the pieces click and I *know*#part of me feels so desperately like.... like this would be easier if it was the more mainstream-recognized presentation#if there was a paula and a mike in my head-#not just the endless versions of myself- crystallized by their necessity.#mona lisas side by side- can you tell which one was painted by which apprentice?#chunks of my life- chunks of my memory- of my connections to others seperated out because the other option was-#I'm not sure what the other option was#I have a psychotic break down as a small child? Unable to tell the authorities what was wrong?#like anyone would have believed me.#like anyone believed me#I can't blame my brain for doing this. I know too much about child development to pretend like it should have been able to handle it.#sometimes I just.... sometimes I wish she'd been successful#that's all#but what an unkind thing to wish upon my parents.#'Everything would have broken... everything but you.'
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