#but knows he'll never have it back
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saym0-0 · 1 year ago
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listen you will not convince me that dogwarts did not sing songs around the fire every night and only have like a 50/50 chance of getting back to their own bases bc they always passed out leaning against each other late into the night
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sanasanakun · 2 months ago
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People try too hard to make Curly an active participant in Jimmy's abuse. Isn't the whole point that he's passive in everything Jimmy does? Abuse occurs because he actively doesn't do anything? Not to call someone out or be mean, but I saw a post saying Anya's ID being in Curly's locker at the beginning shows that he intended to prevent Anya from filing an HR report and I disagree. I get where that interpretation is coming from, but I think it's a little uncharitable. I don't like being too kind to Curly because he's like...a morally mid dude at best lol But if we're going by the HR report interpretation, I would say it's more likely he requested Anya's ID in order to file an HR report on her behalf. After all, the only way to contact Pony (that we see) is in the cockpit, he's the Captain, and Pony Express sucks bad so I wouldn't put it past them to only allow the Captain to use the communication device thing. As we see before, Curly is the only one able to use tools around the ship that you would think other employees could use (ex. Swansea should be able to use the axe if he's the repair guy. Idk why they'd need an ax but that falls under manual labor which Swansea is designated for as the mechanic/fixer dude. But it has to go through Curly). I never got the vibe that Curly moved to actively protect Jimmy. He just lets things happen without say a word; Jimmy walks all over him, and by extension, the whole crew. I get why people would think that because he gives the whole "Hey Jimmy, we can get through this together, bud" spiel right before the crash. This part interests me a lot because there's so many ways to interpret Curly's intentions there. My interpretation is that Curly is on autopilot mode. The responses seem so stilted in comparison to Jimmy's. Like it's the kind of thing Curly's said before again and again and again when Jimmy's gotten in trouble. However, as others previously pointed out, I don't think Curly ever dealt with Jimmy doing something this irredeemable. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just goes for the default "You've gotten through tough situations before. Work through it one step at a time." Like the response is lame af lol I think he was in shock; he was scared (and just so I can say it one more time: he's super lame).
Anyway, this is way longer than I intended and I've said things a billion people have already stated. But uhhh tldr the whole point of Curly's character is he's passive; he never acts. He just watches. Making him an active participant in the abuse by taking actions to cover for Jimmy (like preventing Anya from filing an HR report) defeats the purpose of his character. He's a bystander.
#and I'm defining active as in like consciously taking actions to help Jimmy cover his tracks and stuff like that#because I know being passive can be seen as the same thing as actively participating in the abuse (which i agree with)#I just mean I don't think he's actually intending to help Jimmy by doing anything for him like taking Anya's ID away with nefarious purpose#I just didn't get that vibe#again I just thought he sucked lol like he just does nothing#so idk I just don't vibe when people make him too into helping Jimmy if that makes sense? I think it destroys the grayness of his character#they will never make me have a strong opinion of you Curly#but he is fine as hell ok lol I am not immune to buff blonde man#also like I hope this doesn't come off as mean to the person I'm referencing with the ID take if they see it#I just was thinking about their interpretation and was like ehhh i don't know if i agree and wanted to respond on my lil side account ;p#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#ok and I could see people saying he actively covers for him by doing the psych eval for him and being like uhhhh good enough lmao#but to me that's him trying to placate any issues between crewmembers on his ship esp. when it comes to Jimmy#which just falls under the bystander thing because he'll do the bare minimum to keep things peaceful#but when it comes to doing anything he's just like whelp idk what I can do and just stands there#he's so cool#ok also I realize they need the ax for the foam I just forgot about that lmao#i was a little tipsy when I wrote this plz forgive hahaha I just meant like an ax isn’t like normally in a mechanic’s tool kit lmao#adding a link to the Twitter post I mention so people can refer back to it if they’d like
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thelilylav · 11 months ago
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We only see each other at funerals
(On Jason, Thalia, Nico, Bianca, and their parallels/connections)
The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan), @/anxiousmaya_, Right Now (Gracie Abrams), The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan), Joan of Arc (Mary Gordon), The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan), Episodes Toward and Elegy for Halley's Comet (Lindsey Drager), Jason Grace (Riordan Wiki), The Gods Show Up (Michael Kinnucan), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), What the Living Do (Marie Howe), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), Planet of Love (Richard Siken), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), Tangerine (Nolune), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/abhorarchive (Twitter), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), Seventeen (MARINA), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/rollercoasterwords, The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), @/the-overanalyst, Where Things Come Back (John Corey Whaley), Grit (Silas Denver Martin), Softcore (The Neighbourhood), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Frost (Mitski), @/moonbends, I'm Your Man (Mitski), Sun Bleached Flies (Ethel Cain), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Three (Sleeping At Last), My Art
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toxintouch · 3 months ago
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Headcanon that Ais never feels fully rested. He doesn't feel tired, but he doesn't feel right either. Not since joining the groupmind.
He sleeps, but his mind is never really at peace. When and if he manages to fall into a deep enough sleep, he's in a constant state of something akin to lucid dreaming.
He gets flashes of the other members of the group mind in place of any real rest. Their current actions; errant memories; whispers in long-dead languages he's leaned to understand.
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jannacalendar · 6 months ago
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I understand why it wasn't possible, but it's such a shame we couldn't get Jenny back for The Wish. She and Giles fighting a losing battle side by side and being hardened from it, but remaining each other's solace. Them piecing together the puzzle Cordelia presents to them and having faith in a world better than this, only for Anyanka to try and throw them by hinting at Jenny's death should they return. Giles faltering at the thought of losing her and Jenny, once again, sacrificing herself and destroying the necklace. The way she sees it: she'll either be dead by The Master's hand or by her own, and only one of those inevitabilities gives the man she loves a chance of survival. She kisses him as she plunges herself into the abyss, wanting the last thing she experiences to be his love.
Giles waking up the following morning, the pang in his heart he always feels whenever he remembers Jenny accompanied by a newfound feeling of emptiness, and he's not quite sure why.
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tea-cat-arts · 6 months ago
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The donghua adding in that Lan Wangji was waiting for Wei Wuxian to come back from the dead low key makes him look like an insane person, but it's fun to combine with the book lore of "He spent 13 years grieving" and turn into some maladaptive coping mechanism like-
"Lwj flipped back and forth between full confidence that wwx would come back and crushing despair over wwx just being dead. He collected alcohol for wwx to gift on return, but the only thing stopping lwj from just consuming it himself and getting alcohol poisoning was that he had to stay together enough to raise their son. Lwj incorporated wwx's ideologies and inventions into the Lan students teachings and worked tirelessly to make the world a better place, but could never simply enjoy the results as he was still waiting for the one he wants to show it off too (even if he's kept up at night knowing wwx will probably never see any of it). His hope that wwx could come back only made their time apart hurt more and made it so he was unable to move on"
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hopeswriting · 17 days ago
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do you guys ever just think about tsuna and want to cry your eyes out and never stop? asking for a friend
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr text post#sawada tsunayoshi#this is about a tumblr post i've only written and posted in my head#tsuna's just so#tsuna's just /so/#i CAN finish this sentence btw it's the thing#because tsuna wears his heart on his sleeve and the shape of his soul is always reflected in his eyes#because the essence of tsuna's very being is always laid bare for the whole world to see and grasp and do with it as its see fit#and still he'll always continue to keep it within reach. always /so/ caringly and kindly and lovingly and mercifully within reach#it makes you want to fall on your knees and worship him#it makes you want to fall on your knees and weep#it makes you want to fall on your knees and throw up#it makes you want to fall on your knees and love him love him /love him/-#you will never deserve him (he's /so/ very grateful for the love you have for him)#you will be worthy of him if it's the last thing you do (he will tear the world apart before ever allowing it to touch even a hair out of#you)#TSUNA'S JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the love he has? the love he /gives/? the love that's given to him? the love that's given /back/ to him?#loving tsuna will not hurt you (this is a lie)#tsuna's love will not hurt you (you couldn't care less even if it does)#loving tsuna will not save him (you will sooner tear the world apart than ever surrendering to this truth)#BANGING AND SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS DO YOU GUYS GET IT#you know what maybe i WILL cry my eyes out about this and never stop 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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matzofficial · 2 months ago
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thinking about ex!boyfriend san who is still very much in love with you but can never bring himself to admit it.
he still looks for you in the morning haze, still seeks out your warmth on colder nights, still hopes you'll walk through the front door again, chipper smile on your lips as you press kisses to his face. but san wakes to an empty bed everyday and an even emptier home: the walls of the apartment were stripped bare, with only faint dust marks along the way to serve as proof there were dozens of pictures once hung there; the potted plant you kept by the kitchen window now sits in a secluded corner on the balcony because despite everything, san can't bear to throw it out or to let it die, not when it was one of the few things you left behind. there's a stillness in the air of his apartment now, like even the room held its breath in your absence. some part of him desperately wants to hate you for it. but for all his ire, san just wants you to come home.
he'd never admit it out loud though.
no, never aloud, where anyone could hear his want for you if they listened closely enough. where the air in his lungs expands and expands and expands until it's pressing against his ribcage and heart and suddenly he wants to fall to his knees from the pressure in his chest. it's painful — to know that there's air in your lungs and yet, not be able to breathe properly. that's what it's like without you. he's alive, he's breathing, and yet why does it feel like he's not at the same time? why does it feel like he's stuck in some sort of limbo, living just half of his life? san has always wanted to live a fulfilling life and to live it to his best ability but he always imagined you there with him, living your lives to the fullest together. but he's here, going through the motions and you're out there somewhere. he hates himself for thinking you're as miserable as he is, hates that little bit of hope in his heart that maybe you'll realise life was better with him and come back. but then he remembers the finality in your words and the cold gaze in your eyes and that bit of hope dies quietly in the same place it was born.
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shakingparadigm · 8 months ago
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horrendously sick and twisted btw
#IT TEARS ME UP TO THINK ABOUT THE METEOR INCIDENT. I AM GENUINELY TORMENTED BY IT#slipping through his fingers.#it's crazy they were actually crazy for the whole meteor thing whoever thought of it needs to financially compensate NOW#i love you so much ill break every rule if it'd mean you'd be happy with me. run away with me#here i am im setting you free im giving you everything you want. could i be part of that? could i be part of what you want#till slips through ivan's fingers. world has now completely shifted#and he can't even be mad. not properly#because this is why he loves till in the first place. he just cant give up on what he cares about. he'll never stop fighting for it#ivan smiles like. this is why it's you#a lot has been said about the meteor scene already but that doesnt stop me from going insane over it#freedom means nothing if till isn't there with me WHAT IF I SHOOK YOU LIKE A RATTLE BOY#ivan was well off. he was eating at feasts. given fine clothes. groomed clean and celebrated for his achievements#yet he was willing to throw it all away#thinking about how they'd probably live on the streets again. struggle to get by on their own as lost little children#their lives would be closer to the one ivan lived in the slums#except the difference would be till. back then he had nothing. if till ran with him he'd have everything#and yet till turns and runs the other way and ivan follows him because of course he does. theres nothing else he'd rather do#any kind of suffering is worth it as long as its for you#till is stubborn. he's persistent. he can't let go.#well fortunately (or unfortunately) so is ivan. incredibly persistent#so here we go again. back in this prison brushing past one another knowing we almost had it all#I WILL GRAB YOU BY THE BOWLCUT AND WRING YOU AROUND LIKE A JOYSTICK BOY!!!!#YOU MAKE ME ILL!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#random ramble sorry i have Feelings
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angeart · 5 months ago
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My brain keeps going back to the hhau rambles and Grian asking Scar about taking his wings off and just...how incredibly short-sighted that "fix" would be. Because like, even if he lost one/both his wings and lived through it....he'd still have his instincts. He'd still chirp...he'd still wanna be high up in nests but he'd have to climb now. He'd never be able to wrap himself in wings again... depending on when that earring of Scar's might be the last of his feathers... and oh gosh post rescue? The hermits seeing him without wings and all the questions and looks of pity. Some well meaning hermit maybe brings him an elytra which he's never needed before and oh that could cause a spiral
-🎀
oh gosh. oh okay. i see you're bringing angst to my doorstep.
grian definitely wasn't thinking clearly in that moment. he simply reached a point where he can't see any other solution. so much of his anguish is tied to his wings. he's in pain and scared and he desperately wants it to stop.
he's learned to despise his wings. they cause him so much turmoil and everything that was ever good about them—everything he loved—has been meticulously erased. they're not pretty. they are dirty and grimy and itchy. heavy, unwieldy, muscles locked up, clumsy and aching from disuse. they no longer feel like a proper part of him. he's not using them, he's just constantly fighting to tuck them away. to make the world believe they're not there.
well then... wouldn't it be easier? if that was the reality?
to him, it sounds like a long-term solution to an otherwise never-ending problem.
his wings are a beacon, and wouldn't him and scar be so much safer without them? if he didn't have them, there'd be no reason for people to madly hunt him. maybe then they could stop running and catch their breath. maybe then scar wouldn't be in constant danger just from being near him. maybe then the fear lodged into grian's spine and the endless string of triggered panic attacks would finally go away.
yes, he'd still have his instincts. but he's already grounded. he's already not using his wings for any sort of comfort at this point, and flight is not an option. he's craving nests and high places, but that doesn't mean he can get them, wings or no wings, and— he was fine without that on hermitcraft! surely if the pain and fear stop, his instincts will calm down? surely, he can get at least a semblance of control back?
and you need to realise. there was no thought spared to the hermits. at this point, scar and grian have given up and no longer expect or even hope to ever be rescued. in their minds, there's no one coming to save them. there's no home to go back to. it's just this.
it will always be this.
and this is painful, and grian is clawing at ideas of making it better somehow—anyhow—no matter how drastic or gruesome that option might seem.
that all being said... man. that big what if. what if he really lost them? what if, one way or another, he managed to get rid of his wings? what if that happened and he survived?
your point about how scar's earring would be the last of grian's feathers is so heartrending. that'd be so tragic and sad.
and then post-rescue, the hermits would have even more proof of the damage. even more questions, too. even more helplessness as how to help, when the damage done is long since unfixable </3
grian, having to wrangle with having a safe environment to fly again, but having no wings to fly with... especially if that was his own choice. if it was preventable. ouch.
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supervisormeero · 4 months ago
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It's dark and windy and rainy outside and I'm making myself sad about Syril Karn
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teatitty · 8 months ago
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Genuinely I think my most contraversial take is that the anime only backstory for Mizuki fucking sucks and I hate how fandom took that and ran with it and basically fandomised him as Iruka's abusive ex or just a shitty friend in general because to me his betrayal hits way harder if he genuinely was a decent good dude before that point in his life so it isn't just a shock to Iruka but the village as a whole since absolutely nobody expected it
If you decide that everyone but Iruka noticed his shitty behaviours it just kinda... cheapens the effect of the betrayal, especially since the kids trusted him and looked up to him too. Naruto, for instance, is fucking devastated by everything that happens there. Idk man it just kinda irks me that so many fics jumped on the anime bandwagon of making him a piece of shit from day one when I think there's so much more angst potential in him having been a good friend all of Iruka's life only for this to happen yanno?
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krotiation · 10 months ago
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Even though I don't think Timothy would ever miss Jack per se I imagine that his death still left a void that Tim doesn't know how to fill
Because what exactly do you do when the man who essentially dictated every aspect of your life is now dead? What can you even do when you're still wearing his face? Fuck if Tim knows
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spotaus · 7 months ago
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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stardustinthesky · 1 year ago
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Lois and alt!Clark in Lois & Clarks
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shadystranger · 7 months ago
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I watched the man I love die
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