#but knowing i dont have a Friend that really understands all of me not just one or two aspects is really sad

[unknownperson246]

a/n: heyyy i sent you this on tumblr but i dont really know if my ask thing is working lol could you maybe do a fluffy fic where the reader has a sexual trauma so she always feels weird and uncomfortable after sex so izzy takes a moment to take care of her and make sure she knows shes safe? or something like that it can be izzy or modern izzy tho

*trigger warning: this fic involves some sexual trauma in no way am I trying to romanticize it. This is for a friend who specifically requested me for it. If you don’t or can’t read it then don’t read it*

Modern Izzy: Heavy Feelings

words: 367

warnings: *mentions of smut* *fluff* *mentions of trauma and SA*

✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙

You were lying on the cozy bed you shared with your boyfriend Izzy. You were always in pain during sex and Izzy understood that and went at the pace you always preferred. He was always so soft and sweet to you. He always helped you understand and how to deal with all the heavy feelings you had for everything going on around you. You always appreciated Izzy for that. You loved him for treating you right. After you both had done it you were so tired of everything. You wanted to sleep all day. 

“Hey baby you okay?” Izzy asked you concerned for your well-being.

“Mhm sure” you replied dryly.

“Come on I know why you’re upset you're always like this after sex,” Izzy said. 

“If you know why then why don’t you leave it alone Izzy?” You said quietly. 

“I want you to know that you’re safe with me sugar pie. I love you and this will always be a safe space for you bunny” Izzy said holding onto your leg.

“Thank you, babe,” you said, getting up to hug him. 

You wrap your arms around him hugging him tightly making sure that he would never let go. You felt an urge. You softly kissed his neck. You gently bit the cartilage of his soft ear lobe. You loved him so much. Your arms rubbed against his back. You pulled back and smiled at him. 

“I love you, babe,” You said to Izzy.

“I love you too honey,” He said with a smile on his face.

Izzy ruffled your hair.

“Let’s go out to have dinner tonight if you feel up for it,” Izzy said smiling.

“Sure what were you thinking?” You asked Izzy.

“Whatever you want,” Izzy said, giving you a small kiss on the cheek. 

“First let’s take a shower together babe. Nothing sexual just showering” You told Izzy.

“Of course babe. Let me set up a nice tub with warm water for the both of us” Izzy said while getting up to use the bathroom.

Izzy knew you both did everything together because it made you feel safe and loved. He always loved to help you feel like you were secure and happy.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Theres this post i saw a few days ago that was like "i think its very telling that Rhysand talks about illyria and the night court as though theyre seperate" and Ive been thinking about it a lot. At first I was just gonna say that that doesnt seem weird to me at all because ive been watching a lot of media that takes place in austria-hungary lately, and my understanding is basically that colloquially people would usually refer to austria and hungary as seperate entitites regardless of what was going on with the state borders or government or whatever

So I was just gonna say "the night court is like the austria empire so thats. fine" and leave it that. I mean, thats pretty bad but thats just how it is in canon. But then I thought a bit more about the austrian empire and made more comparisons, I dont really feel like explaining it further than that, and I was like "yknow, illyria is referred to as 'a country within the night court' but I dont think theres any kind of border seperating it from the rest of the night court" so I looked it up and yeah

So theres no hard border like the ones that seperate the courts and theres not even really a 'natural border' in the form of a long river or maybe a mountain range. And yet, we never really see any non-batboy illyrians outside of illyria other than Emerie whos still Nesta's friend and thus atleast somewhat adjacent to the ic. So I was like "hey. are you not allowed to leave illyria? like, if you were born there i mean" and then I thought, yeah no, because all the males have to go to war camp when theyre 9 and then join the army if they dont die or become disabled, so they presumably cant just leave, and they never say anything about helping all the females in abusive situations leave their homes much less their country, so Im guessing they cant leave either

And I mean, that tracks like thats not a surprise to me at all, but its still pretty fucked up. The Batboys said "ladiessssss, we know youre being abused by the men in your life and youre living in a place that 100% enables and amplifies that abuse, but dont try to leave!! just learn how to fight them!!"

[honeydewandcake]

hey! been watchin your blog for a while (a friend showed me one of your first (?) fran bow razzdazz drawings and i thought ut was So Cool and have been payin attention since lol), and ive been ponderin glisten in the asylum au for a bit? i saw someone else talk about givin him dysmorphophobia, and i think thats so fun and i would like to build on it a little bit? moreso in the direction of just giving him body dysmorphia in general.

body dysmorphic disorder is categorized as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and generally is confused as something that inherently comes with eating disorders? i think the main difference with them is body dysmorphia is centered around a specific part of the body and not a general weight thing. i think he probably would count for that with his face, honestly? his mirror part specifically? its what he seems to put the most effort into (aside from his bow but thats an accessory) and hes So Appearance Based.

also hes shown to be very insecure about how people perceive him in game with his dialogue and the toon rooms in roleplay mode, and. while his twisted form is shown to be more concerned with being alone, and monophobia, and its so fun to explore i honestly think thats something that should be left to be explored with his twisted form in this whoops, ^^;; its smthn we know is there but dont really see in his normal toon form

but ! yeah, theres my two cents. i dunno if my rambles make much sense lol but i love this stupid mirror and i love fran bow so <:33 buh bye

This is a lot more detailed and deep than I could have ever written it!!! This is actually a huge help in understanding dysmorphia so thank you as well!! I'm keep all these things in mind if I ever draw Glisten :3

[aro-culture-is]

I've been questioning if I am aro or not for the past year, previously I identified myself as a lesbian because I dont have an interest in men, and I usually feel more comfortable on women. However when I try to imaginr myself in the future I dont see myself being in a relationship in the future, like I am wondeeng "how the hell does one manage a relationship"

But I dont know if I am really aro because when I was in middle school I had a sort of "crush" on a person but I was mostly thinking "Hey this girl is really nice and the only person that understands me maybe I have a crush on her" and I really love the idea of romance and shipping characters and seeing other aromantic people being repulsed by the idea made me question even more.

hi! thanks for reaching out. since it's been a while since I've answered stuff like this, reminder that all asks of this nature are filed under the tag 'am i aro'

Your first paragraph is such a common experience in a-spec communities - initially, most folks start from "well, i'm not attracted to x gender, so I must be attracted to y?" or "well, I'm equally attracted to all genders, so I must be bi/pan?" when the problem is, 0 attraction to one gender is not related at all to how you feel about others, and 0 = 0. You're in very, very good company among a-spec folks, including yours truly - who rotated through the whole of LGBTQ before realizing aromanticism was an option that actually fit very well.

With regards to the second paragraph - first of all, mood! Personally, that "crush" was something we'd later identify as a squish, or friendship crush. Hilariously, we no longer like this particular person at all, as becoming friends led to us discovering our specific neurodivergent flavors interacted to constantly frustrate us. Enjoying - or not enjoying - romance and shipping is not at all something inherent to your attraction.

Plenty of outwardly aro folks talk more about our experiences with romantic repulsion and frustrations with shipping culture because we are in aromantic spaces and talking about the sociological implications, but - personally? I adore shipping, dislike seeing irl romance, and think it's mostly interesting to talk about how romance interacts with expectations and laws in society. I don't like to call myself romance repulsed, romance favorable, any of that - I think those are personally limiting to my identity and how I interact with those subjects. Other folks find it useful as a shorthand to explain how they feel, and that's great too!

I can't tell you what your identity is, but I think it's useful to say this: you've described to me a very, very common story to many a-spec folks. You're seeking advice from me, which tells me it probably matters a lot to you, and I wouldn't be surprised if, in some ways, you feel like you need permission, or verification, or any of those sorts of things.

I think, rather than relying on that - what would happen if, privately, you give yourself permission to explore what it feels like to say "I am aromantic", or "I think I'm aromantic"? How do you feel? Nervous, anxious, bubbly, weighed down, vulnerable - those are all common. But the thing is, if I think of an identity I am 100% sure I do not belong to in that way - I certainly don't feel a little flutter of hope. I don't feel like I might be onto a scary new journey. I just feel like I've said that the world is shaped like a rabbit - nonsensical and wrong. If you feel like there's a possibility - does it hurt you to say, "I might be, and what does that change?" The worst that happens is, quite literally, you learned something about yourself.

-- mod axel

[cerealmonster15]

i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[wormchaser]

you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.

i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[volivolition]

suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.

[risoria]

posting him because if he can make one person smile today, its worth it

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[19871997]

.

[harvestmoth]

heres my one page thesis on why hinomori mafuyu real

[bunnihearted]

🐰🕸🌙