#but ive been too scared to commit to it again

[spyres-moved]

should i remake. should i merge my art blog with my main if i do. should i rebrand as i've been using primarinite as my online namesake since i was like 17/18 and while i still love it it feels kinda outdated.

devil on my shoulder telling me to remake again because a good chunk of my mutuals are remaking and also i gained too many followers too quickly on this account

[itsalwaysdark]

i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list

[kalashtars]

venting in the tags yippeee

[miazetomer]

Heartless | Rafe Cameron x pogue(ish)!fem!reader (Part IV)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, fluff, smut, alcohol use, drug use, takes place during season one, brief mention of SA, the usual

Summary: You never really felt like you belonged anywhere. Your father was a pogue, your mother a kook. You felt out of place in The Cut, in Figure Eight, at the Academy. And Rafe Cameron certainly didn’t make things easier, he knew how to push your buttons, grinding your gears in just the right way, but he loved the little game you two played.

prev next

♡♡♡

Two weeks. For two weeks you’ve avoided Rafe Cameron and the Cameron estate like the plague. You’ve kept your curtains in your bedroom closed and your window shut. You’ve only hung out with Sarah at your house or in town and any time she wanted to relax by the pool, it was your pool you guys relaxed by.

“Sweetie, is everything okay?” Your mom asked one day after coming into your room. You were sitting at your desk finishing up a summer project when she decided to come knocking on your door.

“Yeah, Mom, everything’s fine.” You muttered, continuing to tap away on your laptop keyboard.

“Are you sure, because you haven’t been going out as much and honestly, I don’t know the last time you went over to the Cameron’s.” She said sounding concerned as she sat down on your bed.

“I’m just trying to finish up my summer work.” You explained, turning around in your chair to face her. But, you knew it wasn’t the truth.

“And it has nothing to do with Rafe?”

“Mom, why would it possibly be about Rafe?” You asked, rolling your eyes as you turned back to your laptop.

“Well, you know, he gave you those nice flowers and then you just kind of stopped going over to the Cameron’s. I know you’re not fighting with Sarah, because she’s been over here every day, not that I mind. And I know you’re kind of scared of commitment-”

“Mom.” You said softly, turning to face her once again. “Nothing has happened between Rafe and I, nothing is going to happen between Rafe and I. Please, just drop it.”

“Alright.” Your mom stood from her spot on the bed and you thought she was leaving until she turned back around. “What about you and that Routledge boy?”

“Mom please leave.” You sighed, dropping your face into your hands.

“Okay, okay.” She said, finally leaving your room, closing the door behind her.

You thought that once you left you would finally get some peace and quiet until your phone vibrated on your desk. You checked it and it was a text from Sarah.

party at my house tonight :)

please say you’ll come y/n you haven’t come to any of our parties in two weeks

You sighed as you looked at the texts. You weighed the pros and cons in your head. It was only one party, there’s going to be tons of people there, the chances of you actually running into Rafe were probably minuscule. But on the other hand the probability of running into Rafe was definitely high.

You sighed and rubbed your temples with your index fingers. What were you doing? This wasn’t like you. You didn’t hide in your room from a boy, much less Rafe Cameron. You grabbed your phone with a sigh and quickly typed out your reply.

fine i’ll come

but don’t expect me to have fun

You walked into your closet, if you were gonna go to this party, you needed to find something cute and fast.

♡♡♡

You walked into the Cameron party with your head held high. Plenty of people said hi to you as you walked through, but the tensions in your shoulders relaxed a little once you saw Sarah making her way towards you.

“She’s here, she’s here.” She cheered, practically skipping towards you before giving you a hug. “Thank God you’re here, I was surrounded by too much male energy. Come on, let’s get you a drink.”

You and Sarah stood around the kitchen, drinking and laughing, when Sarah looked over your shoulder and saw a guy approaching you.

“Oh my God.” She mumbled, before taking a sip from her drink. “Lucas is coming over here.”

“What?” You said, before turning your head in his direction. Your face immediately dropping when you saw him. Lucas Channing, your ex-boyfriend.

“Y/n.” He smiled, looking down at you, clutching a beer bottle. “Happy you’re here. You’re just the person I was looking for.”

“Is that so?” You asked with a raised brow, taking a sip from whatever drink Sarah made you.

♡♡♡

You weren’t quite sure how it happened, but there you stood in the Cameron’s backyard, with your back pressed up against the tree as you made out with your ex-boyfriend, Lucas. The kisses weren’t desperate or hungry, just the right amount of perfect. His hands had a firm grip on your hips as you had your hands pressed into the back of his neck, pulling his hair at the bottom of his head ever so slightly. His hands traveled down to your ass, gripping it softly as he pushed your body impossibly closer to his. You gasped lightly and he took this opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, tasting you and whatever drinks you had that night.

“I’ve missed you.” He mumbled against your skin before he placed a few delicate kisses on your neck.

“Uh-huh.” Was all you said when you turned your head to the right and your eyes locked onto Rafe, who had a girl hanging off his arm. His arm was thrown over her shoulders, but he wasn’t looking at her as she talked to him, he was looking right at you. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were shooting daggers at you, like how dare you come to his party and let someone else put their hands on you. You smirked and grabbed Lucas’ hand as you led him through the party.

“Where are we going?” He asked, looking at you slightly confused.

“My place.” You responded with a smile as you looked over your shoulder. But before you could go any further Rafe blocked your path.

“Where you guys goin’?” He asked with a smirk, looking down at you.

“We’re leaving.” You answered, dropping Lucas’ hand to cross your arms, pushing your chest up. You didn’t have an amused look on your face, but Rafe sure did.

“So early? The party’s just started.” He said, lifting his arms up, pointing out the bustling crowd. Rafe knew Lucas, he knew how much you liked Lucas before the two of you started dating.

“What are you two losers talking about?” Rafe asked, stepping outside where you and Sarah were talking by the pool. Rafe decided to sit next to you on the couch outside, letting his knee graze yours and throwing his arm on the back of the couch right behind you.

“Lucas Channing.” She answered, looking down at her hands as she inspected her manicure.

“Why would you be talking about that dickhead?”

“Someone’s into him.” Sarah said with a smile, looking at you, causing you to roll your eyes. This was just great, Rafe knew you were crushing on someone and you were certain you weren’t going to hear the end of it. He always did this thing when he found out you were into a guy, he would say the worst things about them, point out their biggest flaws to you, and it pissed you off to no end, leading to yet another fight that always turned out to be a bigger deal than it needed to be.

“Just let us leave, Rafe.” You sighed, clearly annoyed that he was cockblocking you.

“And let you miss all the fun? Absolutely not.” Rafe threw his arm around your shoulder and started pulling you back into the party, leaving Lucas behind. “Trust me, I’m doing you a favor.” Rafe leaned down and whispered in your ear, keeping a smile on his face so as to not arouse any suspicion.

“Okay, get off me.” You huffed, pushing Rafe away from you once you got further into the party and away from Lucas. “What the hell was that?”

“Um, I just saved your life as far as I’m concerned. Seriously, that dude just got arrested for sexual assault in Charleston.”

“Then why is he at your party, kick him out or something.” You felt disgusted, you just let this man touch you, he had his tongue in your mouth and all you wanted to do now was brush your teeth.

“I didn’t know he was here until I saw you with his tongue down your throat. Besides, some freshman is supposed to be on door duty.”

“Door duty doesn’t make any sense Rafe, how is he supposed to stop somebody from coming in?”

“They get pictures of banned people.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Right, and they’re gonna stop every person at the door and check the pictures. Real effective.” You glared at Rafe, shifting your weight to one foot as you kept your arms crossed.

“Okay, look, I will go deal with Lucas personally, just stay here.” Rafe said, an attempt at trying to make you feel better.

“Thank you.” You sighed, watching Rafe as he went back to the last place he saw Lucas.

“Hey.” Sarah said with a smile as she came over to where you stood. “Where’s Lucas?”

“Long story.” You muttered, looking down at your heels.

“Do you want to get another drink?”

“Desperately.”

♡♡♡

You and Sarah stood in your place in the kitchen just talking and laughing when you felt someone’s hand on your waist, making you jump.

“It’s just me.” Rafe said when you turned around. “I just wanted to let you know you don’t have to worry about Lucas anymore.”

When you realized what Rafe had said, you relaxed into his touch a little. He stayed there joining in on yours and Sarah’s conversation, rubbing circles into your side with his thumb. Sarah’s eyes darted between the two of you, attempting to keep her cool, because why are you two acting like his hand on your waist was the most natural thing ever.

Rafe noticed when you started getting too drunk and started leaning into his side more, his hand on your waist tightening a bit to keep you steady.

He leaned down to your ear and asked, “Do you want to go to my room? I think you’re ready for bed.”

You just nodded in reply, taking Rafe’s hand as he led you up the stairs. Rafe opened the door to his room and let you in first before closing the door behind him.

“I need to shower.” You muttered, stumbling towards the bathroom. Rafe followed you, making sure you didn’t fall on the way. He turned the shower on and put your hair up for you. He knew how precious your hair was to you and he was sure you weren’t going to use his ‘manly’ hair wash.

“Sit.” He said, pointing towards the toilet. You sighed and sat down on the toilet, Rafe kneeling in front of you. He took your heels off for you and you watched as he looked concentrated.

“How many girls have you done this for?” You asked as you looked down at him.

“Just you, baby.” He answered, looking up at you with that stupid smirk on his face.

“Mhm, are you sure?” You said, crossing your arms across your chest, dropping your foot from his knee once he got your first heel off and putting your next foot up on his knee.

“Trust me you’re the only one who’s gotten this kind of five star Rafe Cameron treatment.”

Rafe stood up and took your hands, helping you stand up.

“Come on, let’s get your dress off.” Rafe said, turning you around to unzip your dress. You stepped out of your dress once it hit the floor and took off your thong tossing it on top of your dress.

“Your turn.” You said, turning around to face Rafe. “I’m only getting in if you get in.” You crossed your arms and looked Rafe up and down.

“Fine.” He sighed, taking off his polo. You stumbled towards Rafe and helped him take off his belt.

Rafe looked down at you, watching you fiddle with his belt. He couldn’t believe this was happening. You, naked, right in front of him, taking his pants off.

You peered up at him through your lashes, your eyes drifting down to his lips.

“Come on, let’s get you in the shower before you make a bad decision.” He said quietly, guiding you into the shower. You stepped under the stream and let the hot water wash over you, tilting your head back ever so slightly, leaning it against Rafe’s chest. You let Rafe wash your body, he made sure not to let his hands linger any longer than they needed to, no matter how bad he wanted to. He gently grabbed your waist and turned you around to face him. He gently washed your face with whatever face wash he had, making sure to get all your makeup off. “How do I get your mascara off?” He held your face in his hands, quietly inspecting your eyelashes.

“Don’t worry about it.” You muttered, wrapping your arms around his waist as you leaned against him. Rafe was trying everything in his power not to get hard, but it didn’t work and you felt it and he definitely felt it, but nobody said anything. Just the two of you trying to keep the precious moment going as long as you could. You opened your eyes and looked at Rafe, but he was busy looking down at your lips, his own slightly parted.

“No bad decisions, remember?” You quietly reminded him.

“No bad decisions.” He agreed, reaching around you to turn the shower off. Rafe led you out of the shower before wrapping a towel around you tightly and then wrapped his own towel around his waist.

Rafe held your hand and took you into his closet, grabbing a t-shirt for you to wear. You dropped the towel and he quickly pulled the shirt over your head. He put his own pair of sweatpants on and guided you to his bed.

“Let’s go to sleep, you need it.” He said quietly, pulling the covers back for you. You crawled into his bed and he got in next to you, facing you.

“Rafe.” You said quietly, looking down at his lips, before looking back at his eyes. “I think I want to make a bad decision.”

“Y/n-” He started, but you cut him off, kissing him gently at first, just testing the waters, but he started kissing you back, deepening the kiss. It was different than the kiss you shared with Lucas. That kiss was purely just a pre-sex kiss, this kiss with Rafe was like years and years of tension was finally crumbling, like it was all you needed all this time. The kiss felt like coming up for a breath of fresh air after being underwater for too long.

Rafe’s right hand gripped your waist and his left hand cupped the back of your neck deepening the kiss. Before you knew it you were straddling him, your hands on either side of his head, grinding your hips against his. Rafe licked your bottom lip, begging for entrance into your mouth and you gave it to him, opening your mouth just enough for Rafe to get his tongue in. The kiss was enough to make you even more drunk than you already were and you didn’t think it could get better until Rafe put his hands exactly where you wanted them, on your ass. He gripped onto it like he wasn’t ever going to get another chance to touch you this way, pushing your hips down against him. You could feel the heat pooling between your legs, arousal dripping down your thigh, you were sure Rafe could feel it when he groaned against your lips.

“We-we shouldn’t be doing this.” You muttered in between kisses with Rafe.

“I know, baby.” He groaned, leaning both of you up and you wrapped your legs around him as he trailed kisses down your jaw, then your neck. “We won’t go any farther than this, I promise.” He whispered against your skin before sucking on that spot right below your ear, nipping at it lightly. You moaned lightly, tilting your head to the side to provide more access to Rafe. If Rafe was gonna make sure of one thing tonight, it was marking you up. He wanted to make sure tomorrow everyone who saw you knew one thing, you belonged to Rafe Cameron.

[z0mb1epuzzy]

okok so i just found your blog and lemme tell you ive been eating it UPPP

how would you feel abt josh or maybe chris? (rlly any of the men tbh) with a s/o who has nipple piercings?

i feel like josh would be sooo into it when he found out/when you first got them done. he wouldve def been so so so supportive if you wanted to get them done during the relationship. hed love the sensitivity after theyve finally healed, lowkey would sit there admiring them for a hot while just looking and fiddling with them(i headcannon josh as a tits/thighs man gonna be honest)

more smutty imagine, his s/o is bouncing on his lap, and your tits are just so perfect, and he just cant resist himself anymore, hes gotta know how they feel on his tongue. he takes one of your nipples in his mouth and just rolls his tongue over the piercing, mapping out the feel with his tongue carefully. hed be so content i fear.

chris would be shy about it, like, "oh wow, those mustve hurt pretty bad, huh?", not drawing too much attention to it at first, but eventually, maybe youre sat on his lap, grinding your hips against his, youre both sensitive and heated, panting, and chris has been admiring the way the balls of the peircing really perk up your nipple, and after a particularly rough stroke of your hips against his clothed hard-on, his large hands grip your hips or ass, digging into the flesh and he leans down, taking your nipple between his lips in an attempt to cover his loud whimper. after all, with you riding his hips, youre just elevated enough where your tits are right there, at a conveniently perfect level to his mouth.

someone save me my goddd 🙀

anon thank you for leaving this wonderful little gift in my inbox holy shit

warning 4 this one! afab reader potentially implied!??

josh:

i totally agree that josh is a tits man, but honestly - he just loves any curves… ass? tits? thighs?? and they’re not on his face rn?? 🤨

he’d totally love nipple piercings… man’s a FREAAK!! first time he sees them he’s like 🧿🧿.. absolutely baffled!??! during intimacy he’d love them too, teasing them with his lips or fingers just to hear you whine and shudder like hello!?!😵‍💫

also to elaborate on your thought… he’d definitely give them some special attention if you’re riding him, i mean… they’re LITERALLY right there.. and he’s a strong man, but not that strong… it would definitely satisfy that little part of his brain that wants to analyze and commit all of your little reactions to memory… running his thumbs over them, maybe a lil pinch, kisses, sucking on them, y’know.. the works. he wants to know what makes you moan for him the most!!

as for chris… oh boy..

he’s a lot more flustered by them, AND more hesitant to mess with them.. his eyes getting all wide when he sees them for the first time..like? BAFFLED.. “oh, wow… uh.. man, did those hurt?” and like.. obviously yeah, so he’s a little scared to fuck with them? BUT once he knows they’re healed and in fact don’t hurt anymore… oh lord!!!

he loves having you in his lap CANON! his face getting all flushed while you grind down on him, him touching ur piercings just to hopefully mess you up like you’re doing to him… he’s sensitive!! he doesn’t wanna cum first :( and ur tits look so pretty with the bars through them, making ur nipples look extra perked up, ?!yknow!?

chris def has a secret oral fixation.. i have no reason or explanation… my brain is saying its true so i’m sharing it with the masses!!! he needs to he doing something with his mouth, especially when he’s close 😵‍💫 so he’d love to wrap his lips around your nipples just to hear you whine for him like… UGHH!!

i hope i fulfilled your expectations anon!! praying this is good or else….. (idk nothing will happen i’m just dramatic)

another note, i typed this shit like 3 days ago and it went to DRAFTS. INSTEAD OF POSTING.

thx bbg @ghouleaterr 4 giving me motivation once again…

[hballegro]

i have more conspiracies about MASH that may or may not be true, but ive decided they are. they also just might have been explained, but im dumb, and cant remember. heres your sequel.

in 7x3 where hawkeye tackles bj, bj goes "AAH!' and hawkeye says 'WRONG! THAT STARTS WITH AN H!'. this is because mike farrell's line was 'hey!' but due to the force and drama of the scene, just Yelped instead.

All the dogs that turned up that never appeared again [like the one bj and hawk "ate" when they were trying to scare a visitor, dogs seen in 1 shot, etc] were just dogs that the production crew/cast owned and wanted to bring to work/volunteered their animal for acting duty

in the handful if scenes where hawkeye is actually knitting [and not using the red yarn, for the reason given in the previous edition], hes making a blankie for erin. [co-credit my sibling]

klinger got his ears pierced during the course of the show, starting with clearly just clip-ons and then later declares he doesnt want his ears to close up. some say continuity error, I say commitment (and also it would probably be easier to find real earrings instead of clip-ons)

in s7e2 Peace on Us, no one told bill christopher to tie that red streamer around his neck, he just thought it would be silly

in s7e2 Peace on Us, again, no one told alan alda to drive the jeep back to camp with his leg up like that. he just knows the character well enough to make that call. which he's correct about

the scar on hawkeye's lip was caused by a fishhook in his youth. got called Troutboy a long time afterward because of it.

bj is a vaseline girlie and takes good care of his hair as well.

hawkeye sniffs food because, having grown up partly during the depression, eating spoiled food was a real risk, so giving it a good ol' sniff-test was a given

fr mulcahy cares deeply about his appearance and engages in more grooming activities than any other guy in camp [the shower cap, always looking perfect, owning gardening gloves, manicured hands and feet, etc]. he even irons his stole on a bi-weekly basis and launders his clerical collars

hawkeye's issues with people leaving and not saying goodbye began with his mother after she passed, since his father didnt want him to worry

on nights where charles goes to bed after the other two, he will occasionally clean up a little bit. this contributes to why he's so pissed in 'Pressure Points'- he's been doing his own cleaning and some of theirs without them noticing or caring.

once again these are all just things that came to mind while watching, i didnt think too hard on them. the only one 'researched' on was the food sniffing, solely because i needed to do Year Math lol

[underlanternglow]

TENDER KISSES — ♡

anon asked → a sweet request on how boys would react being woken up with tender kisses until they wake up~ ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀ for shogo, dongha and hajun, tenkiuu <;/3

a/n - THIS IS CUTE!!!! sorry this one took a while, ive been staring at another request that i want to write but im scared. lol. ANYWAY

shogo yamato

it takes a long while for him to wake up on his days off. he wants to sleep in just a little, since being an idol is very tiring!

he’s a bit grumbly during the first few kisses. they’re not enough to wake him up, and he absolutely asks for five more minutes, trying to drag you back down with him

you have to be a little bit more forceful to finally wake him. after a few more tries, his eyes finally open, not really registering what happened. he stares are you for a second, and it’s not until another kiss later that the shock sets in

he gets a little flustered honestly. sure he gets attention from his fans, but the intimacy he experiences with you is different. it’s special. he looks like a young boy having a crush for the first time as you continue

he has a goofy little smile on his face, and honestly looks like he’s in heaven. he thanks you while laughing, and hopes you’ll surprise him again. he does not let you go kissless either!

dongha yeon

it’s rare for you to even be up before him. he has a very busy schedule, and unfortunately, not enough time to sleep in. you think he’s up at an impossible hour, but being an heir is tough work

that doesn’t stop you though! you’re fully committed to giving him a special treat, setting an alarm so you’ll be up before him. chungsung notices, and thankfully, he’s in on it, agreeing that it would be a nice thing to do for him

your plan manages to go off without a hitch. you wake up quietly, and very carefully, start giving him little kisses on his cheek. he makes little noises in his sleep, stirring a little, until his eyes flutter open

he is so grumpy! he’d definitely not happy at being woken up early, but his features soften a little when he realizes what you’re doing. he grumbles, letting you continue

when he finally wakes up more, the first thing out of his mouth is do you know how early it is? do you know he has to get his sleep so he can put in his work as heir of the yeon family? since you’re already up, you can keep going though, it’s fine (he loves it)

hajun yeon

honestly, it’s nearly impossible. he’s always up at the crack of dawn going on runs and cooking for the rest of BAE, and somehow, he seems to know that you’re up to something

he drops little teasing hints, implying he knows exactly what you’re going to do (he doesn’t), almost like he wants to figure it out before you do it. but you’re strong, and tell him you’re up to nothing

he’s another you have to put serious planning into. he’s a man who gets things done promptly, so working around his schedule is hard. you manage to get some help from anne, who wishes you a very huge good luck

somehow, you quietly wake up earlier than him. it’s very different seeing him with his guard down, and honestly, he looks so at peace that you almost feel bad for waking him up. almost. but you press on, giving him a soft kiss to his forehead

he wakes up almost immediately, a little satisfied he finally figured out your plan. he smugly asks you what you’re doing, as if it wasn’t obvious enough, trying to fluster you, but it doesn’t work. you pepper his face with kisses, and he has to admit, being woken up like this every once in a while isn’t too bad

[maxmoffs]

gonna just post this quick psa yap about my interactions here on wanda and the rest of my blogs from here on out , then i'll be fully committed and indulged into finally ! fulfilling my owed starters , inbox and drafts and writing entirely, just because i want to get it out of my chest and so that im fully comfortable and happy with my blogs and want to be able to come on without feeling so anxious ! this is the most I’ve approached everyone and bravely finally after being shy and hesitant so pls be proud of me uwu . it’s been a long time coming i know , im finally actively interacting, i do know that i had been so yappy ooc the past weeks that just went by! its because i haven't been doing anything but work and training and with the christmas holidays chaos, so it had gotten me incredibly sporadic which is the reason for my lack to keep a consistent flow of my writing on all my blogs no matter how much i wanted to ! i actually have no idea who is following me or not still from the last time ppl had been more enthusiastic of when i made wanda weeks ago uuhuhu , but i hope all of you are still interested because when i write and post all my owed writing its both old and new bahaha just bc i hadnt had the proper opportunity to write wanda as how ive been wanting to with full focus like right now bc i had been so busy :( <3 please continue below for the psa , i appreciate you if you do get where im coming from <3 because after this , i want to just feel happy writing wanda and the rest of my muses . without feeling like i have to prove my worth or place , but im finally at a good mental balance of both , and i now have slower days since christmas is finally at its end of holiday chaos for me work wise which was the only thing holding me back and life is life and i will now stop for apologising to be slow ! i now have discord anyways , which is also finally open and im migrating to as an avenue to 'yap' and plot with those that dont mind my excitment hahahaahah so as long as we're mutuals , im already a big yapper and will always be welcoming , so you are welcome to add me just pls understand that i do get overstimulated or busy sometimes but i'll use it more now ( arden1ly . )

im gonna just consider this as an add to my rules . but as i continue here on out now , i think i will now stop following people first anymore unless obvs we are moots and you're moving blogs . and will just focus my time and attention to those of you that just want to write with me and wanda and my multi , who are already here, my mutuals and my mains / friends who's stuck by and been patient and understanding with me . i will always be an open book , and will always always keen a nurturing and safe environment because i love writing , and love being able to write with everyone as best i can, but will no longer go too above and beyond to push myself to others and i will always be here to come back to when the interest rises again of interest to write with me , because at the end of the day ! im here to write with you ! and along with that , a bonus when i create wonderful friendships which i also know and feel that i have now <3

it is what it is, and i have lost a few wonderful moots i had been writing with a couple of weeks back out of the blue that i never even noticed probs bc of that very reason , i have kept myself quite so very open book and half of the time i literally dont know whats going on so i tend to really keep my and i noticed that it definitely scared ppl that my inability to hold my excitement can be sometimes excessive so i will try to refrain from it now , because ive always advocated kindess and positvity on my blog and nothing else ! but i know tumblr is so scary! and can be so judgemental , and im a super open book but also can barely keep up so sometimes i barely scroll through tumblr, but i always try my best. from here on out though , obviously i will always and stay welcoming especially if you are a mutual already here , but i just no longer want to keep apologising for my speed / slow -ness , or for my personality bc really half of the time its just me approaching with excitement to write and interact, but ive noticed that its probs annoyed ppl , and i dont want to also be annoying for anyone <3

[lupucs]

I have a few questions! Mind answering? 1. What/who is your persona and what is their name? 2. What animating software do you use? 3. What software do you use to edit? 4. How long Have you been doing this 5. Are you open for 3d commissions ?? 6. whats your most famous video 7. Whats the least famous video? 8. Favortie video you have made? 9. Favortie model you have made? 10. Least favortie model + video you have made?

My youtube avatar? They're just a scruffy little goblin, their name is Lu (short version of "Lupucs"). They are supposed to be a loose representation of myself for stuff like 3D timelapses. As for my profile pic, that's just an oc. Her name is Ruby and she's a scarecrow who can wield magic and turn into a giant crow

Blender

Blender for animation editing, adobe premiere for timelapse editing

I've been doing 3D for about 6 years on and off, though ive only started doing it more regularly roughly 4 yrs ago

sadly not since i have a full-time job, but I really appreciate the interest!! It wouldnt feel right accepting commissions without the reassurance of being able to set aside enough time to commit myself to them, not to mention balancing my hobby of making animations and 3D models. i'll definitely post an announcement on here if I reopen them again!! it's definitely not out of the question.

it's the susie noelle lunch break one!! back then i didnt even wanna upload this to youtube but my friend convinced me to do it anyway and... it sorta exploded. never expected so many people to love these two goobers so much. I'm still both shooketh and a little scared but also extremely grateful!!

probably those few old oc animations i made years ago. like this one, it's my icon but it's animated! :P this is so old lol

ooh that's tricky! there are a few that come to mind, but i think Hometown Fall studies is my favorite. I like how the cozy vibe turned out and it was so much fun animating these characters playing off of each other in a mundane scenario like that. Im also really happy with how my Alphys and Undyne anim turned out. It took about 5 months (on and off) to make

i'd say susie and papyrus. oh and alphys too!! none ut/dr models would be king from TOH, and this fanart of my friend sphinxmothra's ocs

I guess that would be my Little My Moomins model from a while ago... i kinda wanna remake it one day as i really dont like how the shaded gradients look. Oh and this old oc. As for least favorite video, it's this animation. It's so floaty lol!!!

[thephoenixandthecrocodile]

My Thoughts of Rings of Power Episode 07 Part 2

I love that I’m legitimately rooting for the Orcs and the Elves in this battle, again highlighting the waste and stupidity of war.

Ooo interesting to catch a glimpse of Orc burial traditions. And Adar’s tears? His pain? This man who has been through every torture under the sun can still shed a tear for his children. *sobs*

Also, Galadriel, you’re fooling no one, girl. Frodo and Sam did a better job disguising themselves than you

Arondir and Galadriel time! I love their friendship even though they’ve had like thirty seconds of screen time together. I don’t know, but they work really well together.

“He has taken everything else from me.” ☹ Arondir, what about your adopted sons: Isildur and Theo?

God damn it Durin III. Now is not the time to commit some kinslaying. Also, Durin IV looks good in his armor.

I mean I know you have to put your people before all else, but I think Disa can handle Durin III just find by herself.

This fucking conversation between Celebrimbor and Sauron about Morgoth and torture being a game and pain a reward, I love everything about it. Also Sauron is such a delusion, manipulative little shit.

I love that Celebrimbor almost understands what Sauron means about pain and perfection. Just like Galadriel, there is a core part of Celebrimbor that understands and even appreciates Sauron and vice versa. That’s why he’s able to manipulate them. Pushed one way too hard and Galadriel and Celebrimbor could have fallen into the darkness, just like Sauron.

“You truly are the Great Deceiver. You can deceive even yourself.” Fuck, yeah, Brimby!

Yes, Celebrimbor, rebel! Destroy those rings! (although we know it won’t work)

I CANNOT BELIEVE what Celebrimbor did! Ahhhh! Such a deep lore reference, an example of how willful and brave Celebrimbor truly is, and how much Sauron underestimated him.

“Whose will is the mightier.” Such badassery. Love you, Celebrimbor!

For fuck’s sake just let this man escape the forge!

Also fuck those soldiers for their disrespect. Don’t feel bad when any of you die.

Yay! Galadriel put those assholes in their place

The Celebrimbor-Galadriel reunion. The sadness, the guilt, the shame, the soft care and love they have for each other. *sobs even harder*

And his speech about the light and how it most likely inspires Galadriel to become the Lady of Light we know in the Third Age *sobs even harder*

Seriously give Charles Edwards ALL the rewards or we riot!

That little head nod and attempt at a brave smile as he returns to the forge to face torment and death. ☹

RIAN! FUCKING BAD ASS QUEEN OF THE NIGHT

Love this core principle of Tolkien’s world: fight and keep fighting (however you can) evil until your last breath. That is all we can do.

And then Adar sends in Damrod, ensuring his own children will turn on him. ☹

Yes! Arondir, Gil-Galad, and Elrond team up to take down the troll!

Although seriously where has Gil-Galad been this entire time? XD

Sauron is an evil bastard, but his take down of the Elven guards was cool.

Also, poor Celebrimbor. He now stands against Sauron alone – again. ☹

Again, Charles Edward killing it with the uncertain swallow, the scared, but determined look in his eyes. He knows he doesn’t stand a chance, but he will do what he can while he still can

“Durin will come” – all right, just kill me now. My heart is shattered beyond repair

Please don’t take the Durin-Elrond friendship from me. It’s all I have.

Also, everyone in Elrond’s company except for Galadriel and (maybe) Camnir has died in front of him.

SON OF A BITCH!!!! Arondir IS NOT DEAD!!! NO! NO! NO!

Someone better use Nenya’s powers to fucking heal him.

[blookmallow]

hi ive been looking through fallout dialogue files. here's some butch lines that make me (certified butch enjoyer) feel things

i love this stupid boy

i think this was if you fire him:

:'( dont hurt him

reaction if you commit a murder in front of him:

honey baby...

and reactions when you become too evil for him

his death line:

the script notes on this are killing me but id be lying if it doesn't break my heart a lil bit every time he dies on me (i reload saves a lot. fallout 3 is not kind to me but i refuse to let him die)

on the radroaches

baby... i wish his voice actor had done more with the script notes i feel like the intensity isn't quite there but also it would break me

i dont think ill ever be able to bring myself to do this to him but one of the things you can say if you choose not to help him save his mom is like. well shes a goner. oooo i hear the roaches coming for you next

this hurts me,

anyway. i dont know where i was going with this. but this dumb stupid boy has infected my brain. i spent ages breaking into peoples terminals over and over again and like, stealing trash when no one was looking to knock my karma down enough to get him to join me bc he's pretty and i thought it was funny but the more ive looked at his lines. even though fallout 3 gives me next to nothing. im obsessed. i randomly stop him to talk about distance all the time for no reason just because i want to hear him say the one flirty line i can get from him. i took him to the one singular beautiful forest left in the world and he immediately goes "can we get inside? i hate it out here." he's scared of the sky. i want him. i need him

[aettuddae]

im here again cause i have more thoughts that i cant keep to myself SORRY FOR THE MINI SPAM (is this considered a spam? idk)

every single crackship ur anons have made ive opposed, BUT i love ning & serim um 😲😲 idk they are just both cutie patooties

also since serim is such a plant freak i like to think her dream role would be someone in little shop of horrors and probably has preformed tbe whole thing on weverse live (and maybe to jimin now too😭😭)

i love that serim is a sone because karina is also a sone ahhh 😭😭 i hope when they finally can be around eo without having the urge to commit a homicide they can fangirl out (they would probably debate about stuff regarding the group)

im actually so not ready for this angst thats gonna come 😖😖 ur ability to go from silly to serious is diabolical (in a good way ofc) so im scared and still slightly scarred from hole in one…

its been awhile since ive complimented ur writing so i just want to say i hope u never lose a passion for it cause ur genuinely so good. whether its making smau on tumblr or writing about ur day in a journal i hope u continue to thrive and let ur creative juices flow😭😭 i seriously love when u update, it makes my day!! (i be reading it on my bed with my feet kicking back n forth like goo hara in the pretty girl mv)

AND ITS GETTING TOO LONG so ill finish it by saying something i say all the time but yeah to see how much youve grown as a writer is such a privilege!! okay thats it byeeeeee

- 🕷️

you know i don't mind the asks 🫶🏻

my anons most times want the oc to be far away from karina, i don't know how this blog has kept sailing 🫴🏼 ning and serim are a fan favorite 😭 they are adorable

as much as i like musicals, i didn't know about little shop of horrors and now i'm searching it, it feels it was made for serim. she totally knows it from start to end, and i don't know if she would perform it in front of jimin, but jimin has heard it so many times already she knows the songs

YES, my little sones 😭 they would watch the concerts on youtube and yell about what's their favorite japanese release. jimin will so tease serim about how she knows them, was on got the beat, and so on. when they come clean about snsd to eo, the smau is merely gonna be about it, sorry

it's crazy bc if you are a new reader who's only familiar with business matter you wouldn't know angst is my specialty 🤷🏻‍♀️ but chill, we have time before that 😉

writing makes me really happy, even if it's for an au or the format i feel like putting it out that day, i can't run away from it. i like finding ways to share it with people, and i'm glad there are ones that enjoy it. you've been around for a while, so thanks for liking what i do and being supportive, it makes me really happy when i see your asks too 🫂 since there are people who care, i still make stories 🤍

thank you for being so sweet 🫶🏻

[lilioopdf]

success story!!

i never ever post success stories but this one’s for me to remember because ive manifested lots and lots of stuff before but this one actually makes me the happiest

okay so my earbuds (right one, specifically) stopped working randomly one night and i was so miserable about it like ive changed so many earbuds and headphones before but these ones were my actual favourites and i didn’t even notice until one side stopped working. basically it would still charge in and out of the case and stuff but when i took it out it wouldn’t turn on or anything and none of my devices could find or connect to it at all.

the night they broke i quickly read a success story about someone manifesting their earbuds to start working again after they got put in the washing machine to motivate myself before i went to bed and i just kept repeating things like how grateful i was that they started working again, that they sound better than they ever have, that im so grateful these earbuds lasted so long and how much i love them. to be fair i was committed to repeating them but when i was falling asleep i still had random little thoughts like “please please please if this doesn’t work i hope i don’t wake up tomorrow” because i really didn’t want to travel with one-sided (?? 😭😭) music.

spoiler alert: they were, unfortunately, still not working in the morning, and i woke up and was forced to live through that

and i was MISERABLE because i listen to music like all the time and i physically do not know what to do if i’m not listening to music and daydreaming so i was miserable on the way to school and i took the longer route home to get new earbuds.

and these new earbuds are really good, a really popular and well known brand, more modes to try, longer battery life and everything— but they were not my earbuds. my old earbuds were from a swedish brand and they were literally perfect to me okay the audio was perfect, the size is smaller than most earbuds ive used which was perfect for me, and like idk the design and everything was matte and not shiny, which i preferred. and i was also so used to the controls and everything.

but okay anyway

i even emailed the support centre for my warranty even though i’m terrified of stuff like this and they replied and i was already in the process of claiming my warranty when i took them out of their case and they randomly started working again. it was a little weird because they were out of sync which was unexpected but i just did a quick factory reset and they were perfect again (although i do have to email the person and tell them im sorry they started working again which is UGSHSHSHSHS im so scared 😓😓 but ill take this over broken earbuds any day)

things to note:

ive been intentionally manifesting a lot of things for really long, but even i had some doubts when manifesting. but ive always been really optimistic and hopeful too— i used to be really pessimistic and depressed about a lot of things in life but i realised that i still have to get through certain things regardless of what i feel so i thought i might as well try to be happy about it. so i would check the earbuds frequently and randomly be like omg what if they start working again, and they eventually did.

[the-whispers-of-death]

im a sucker for all the tropes ever so. may i present uhh. one of those things where a character gets sent to a different world. yeah. putting my dearly beloved criminal!stone trough all the situations ever

imagine that reader is just your average joe. a 9to5 job, living alone, that sorta deal. biggest crime he's ever commited is crossing a red light or not paid for a bus fare, yknow, that sorta thing

maybe a regular job. warehouse manager, cashier, mechanic. that sorta thing.

maybe hes just gotten off his shift. probably did overtime. definetly takes a shortcut trough an alley.

absolutely does not expect to hear running footsteps and to get yanked backwards and turned around to face criminal!stone

WhoTheFuck and WhatTheFuck

maybe stone's internally freaking out. what IS this place, the streets dont look like that!! where's his boss??? the street names are the same but. theyre clean. safe. what??? not a thug in sight

what if he spotted reader from a far and sprints his way. too much distance! what if something happens? but the distance means he cant see that not a single scar is on his body. that he doesnt even have a gun. not even a knife! maybe he was 100% convinced this was his boss but. nope. just a look-a-like

maybe as hes processing this, stone freezes up for a second. a second too long as hes getting shoved back.. thats... thats not what his dearly beloved would do to him. did he do something?! wait- why is his love running away?!

reader is probably scared shitless. a strange man who knew my name and was grabbing me at night would 100% scare me, at least. even more so if he gave chase.

what if criminal!stone can never find a way to return back to mafia!reader tho.. hm now thats the real question.

i mean his options are either try to slowly gain readers trust.. i mean, they have the same face and very similar mannerisms so that MUST be them, right?? ... just ignore how he broke into their apartment to sleep on the couch. ("i didnt know where else to go"). guard dog acquired...? ... and a guard dog means a dog that can be also slowly eased into relaxation, into accepting safety and peace. also a trope i deeply enjoy ;)

or. well. gun emoji to the head. i guess. i mean he has to know this isnt HIS love. and whats the point of it all if he abandoned his boss, intentionally or not? and with no way in sight to get back home.. welp. goodbye cruel world moment right there

anyways my fingers are numb ive been typing for 30min and holding my phone really weird

~ rusty

Criminal!Stone: He's not my love, not exactly. But I can't just abandon him.

He's just like, it's kinda my love. They share the same DNA and thus, Criminal!Stone thinks he has to protect you like the beloved he unintentionally left in his own universe.

He does in fact sleep on your couch, you can't kick him out. He'll just come back every time. He'll gain your trust.

But I like to think Criminal!Stone ends up back in his original universe and you (the same mafia boss as always) wake up to him clinging to you. And he's convinced it was just a dream. A nightmare, if you will.

He follows you around for weeks, not wanting to wake up again in a universe where you two aren't together. No, no. You'll stay his beloved, here in this universe. He won't allow you to be separated again.

As for how he got back into his own universe, well, I've already kinda established that Serial Killer!Stone can travel between universes and he regularly does so to ensure his other Stone variants are happy and safe. So he probably saw Criminal!Stone out of his own universe and was like "Alright, I guess I'll help you get back home."

[allthefoolishdreams]

hi! i hope you're well! for the ask game - 1, 10, 15, 18, 19, 21, 26 and 30? <33

(this is jeonghoneyss btw, i'm not sure if i mentioned before haha)

hi!! thank you, i am doing well, i hope you are as well!! <3

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

Something new I tried this year was non-linear narrative (in my minchan divorce fic), I've always loved non linear narratives since its an interesting way to tell a story. I think so far its turning out well! although it is based on a story so that did help make it easier. Either way, I would absolutely love to write more non linear narratives if I come up with an idea that it'll work best with

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

Honestly? I don't know! Out of the ones posted this year, I think maybe the superchan fic might have been my happiest to work on. I do know working on you are strange always makes me pretty happy as well (when i'm not hit with writer's block)

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023

I have only posted 4 fics this year and I know you have read 2 of them, so I'll just rec the other two: chansung fic (which is angsty and about commitment issues and complex feelings regarding relationships but i enjoyed writing) and this minchan fic (which is a bob's burgers au and just overall a silly and fun time)

18. What was the hardest fic to title?

without a doubt it was my spidey minlix fic, I just didn't know what to call it even when I had the first chapter completed already which is unusual for me because by the time ive written that much I have title ideas already. I'm not sure if you read the author's note but i did almost title it "spider-boy (king of thieves)" which is a taylor swift lyric because it fits far too perfectly but i decided to search it on ao3 and saw that a lot of the fics using that as a title were spider-man aus which made me scrap the idea so fast. I ended up scrolling through Black Cat and Spider-Man panels + looking up Black Cat quotes for inspiration and decided that i really liked the line ""You are strange, my love. I guess that's why I find you so irresistible." and shortened it because I thought the quote would be such a fitting line for minlix considering they are both strange (affectionate) <3

19. Share your favorite opening line

if I keep it to fics I posted this year, I think my favorite would be from my chansung fic: At a young age, Jisung learns just how easy it is to pack up your life and leave it all behind.

I feel like it fully captures the main vibe of the fic

Also, here's one for fics I've written this year and not posted. I'm cheating here by giving several lines but here's the opening for my jilix songwriting fic because I really like the opening paragraph:

The first time Jisung meets Felix, he’s struck by how gentle and kind he is.  He’s mesmerized by his voice, like everyone else is; the deep, smooth tone and accent. The clumsy way he stumbles over his Korean in a way that makes it obvious he’s still learning. And he’s especially mesmerized when he starts to show off his vocal abilities, the range he’s capable of. It’s something else entirely. Perhaps, more importantly, he’s mesmerized by his bright grin despite how prickly Jisung is towards him, which isn’t necessarily anything personal, he’s prickly towards everyone. Unlike the others though, Felix brushes it off and continues to ask questions like he doesn’t genuinely mind how closed off Jisung is; he's never annoyed or scared of him. All while offering him bright smiles each time they interact. And it’s a beautiful smile.

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

I can't think of any off the top of my head. I do think a lot of my favorite dialogue I've written is from you are strange, especially the minho and felix conversations when they're bantering in their respective alter egos, it's always so fun for me to write. Their dialogue in their civilian life is very good to me too, but I don't think I can choose a favorite. I also remember enjoying the group discussion from chapter one when they're discussing Spider-Man since it was so fun to write

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

I don't think I have any specific satisfying writing moment, but I guess seeing my word count on ao3 go up so much just within the year was pretty satisfying to me especially since like i mentioned i only posted 4 new fics

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I'm not gonna lie, my goal is just to finish all of my wips. But I do want to write the batman!chan fic thats been brewing, I havent started since I know it'll become a monster of a fic and I'm trying to prioritize finishing my current superhero aus before starting a new one lol. which reminds me, I have Thoughts on other superchan side stories, other than the felix one so thats also on the list, so far nobody has pointed out the Minho (or Hyunjin) name drops in chapter one of superchan which goes along with my thoughts regarding the au. Another thing I want to write is that seunglix christmas fic I mentioned before, I'm thinking of writing it out in advance for next december

Also, not going to lie, all the descendants talk makes me want to dabble into fic for it but im not sure yet. We shall see!

(thanks for the ask <3)

[i-need-some-advice-on]

how do i break up with my partner?

ive (17m) been considering breaking up with my partner (17nb). theyre my first serious relationship, we’ve been together 2 years and for a long time i was scared of committing because we’re young and i know we’re immature and dumb but after a while i decided id rather commit and get my heart broken than ruin a perfectly good relationship out of fear. i kinda regret letting myself commit now.

im gray aromantic, theyre one of the first people ive ever been romantically attracted to and we’re good at communicating and supporting eachother but lately its just felt. wrong. a few weeks ago they came over for the weekend and for whatever reason i was just miserable. i didnt want to kiss them, i didnt have fun, i felt like i was being forced to hang out with an old friend i didnt have anything in common with anymore. nothing has changed so i dont know why i feel this way.

ever since then theyve been texting me and i just dont want to respond. i thought at first i wanted to avoid everyone because after that sleepover ive been really depressed but ive realized its really just them. i still want to love them, i dont know how ill ever find someone like them again i just feel like staying with them is torture for absolutely no reason.

the idea of breaking up is so fucking scary. they want to be with me forever, we’ve made our college plans around moving in with eachother, theyve been my rock through so many horrible dips in my mental health and loved me through all of it.

im scared of what the aftermath would be. i know theyre the happiest theyve ever been right now because of our relationship. i dont want to hurt them, they didnt do anything to deserve this. i still care a lot about them, they literally didnt do anything wrong its completely a “its not you its me” situation. we have a lot of mutual friends but almost all of them were my friends first and i feel like if we break up they wont feel like they have anyone to talk to since they arent still friends with most of the people they were when we started this relationship.

im scared of what the aftermath for me would be too. like i said i am really depressed right now, being in this relationship is making me really stressed out and contributing but breaking up would probably be even worse.

i really have no idea what to do. i know breakups are kinda always scary but this is just too hard.

.