#but ive been told with my partners parents it could be a problem
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I think one of the hardest things about having a qpr is what you tell people about it. I recently became official queer platonic partners with someone and we've agreed we will tell our close friends, and if strangers ask us if we're dating we'll just say yes because it's easier and I don't want to come out as aromantic to people I don't know well.
The really complicated thing is what we'll tell our families. My partner has their own situation so I'll just talk about mine. Right now my family knows we are best friends and a couple of them know that we were friends with benefits. I have three options. The first is the truth: I don't want to come out to my family as aro, I'm not ready yet. My sister has said before that she both doesn't believe that aromanticism is a thing and she doesn't think platonic partnerships work out long term, so it would be very difficult and I don't think I or our relationship will be accepted and understood.
The second is lying and saying that we are dating and in a romantic relationship. This would make both of us uncomfortable, and it would mean I would be completely lying about my identity and feelings. My sister has been questioning me a lot about my feelings towards my partner and insisting that we really feel romantically for each other, so if I lied and told her we were dating she'd be very smug and I would hate it. Just the thought of it is awful.
The third option is lying again and just continuing to say we are best friends with benefits. This feels wrong because I feel like it's downplaying how important my partner is to me and the kind of relationship we have. People are already suspicious, so I don't think that explanation would hold up for long and it's already hard to explain without outing myself. We are planning that my family will meet my partner in the summer, and we do behave like a couple so we would definitely be questioned if I go with this option.
I really don't know what to do, and when you consider my extended family it becomes even more complicated. Sometimes I remember those posts that made fun of qprs and said that "it's just best friends haha cringey ace aro people" and it makes me so mad. It's more than that, and I feel that this struggle proves that. It's giving me a lot of anxiety, if anyone has advice I would really really appreciate it.
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vigilskeep · 10 months ago
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how do u like get into da2 bc ive only finished it twice (compared to my 7 complete origins playthrus) and its just so like unsatisfying to me like roleplay wise. it just feels so hard to build a character and a unique story which sucks bc i like some parts of the game!! its just hard to get thru the everything else about it
at some point i’m not going to be the best person to answer this because i have the opposite problem but !! i did have an initial playthrough of da2 that is like. nothing to me bc it was so generic so i guess i did develop from that point
i think using the “colour system” of personality to its fullest really helps. especially having a “secondary colour” to use for flavour or in certain situations? if you’re struggling with your character feeling unique from other people’s characters, i would recommend avoiding primarily purple to begin with... as fun as it is, it’s kind of considered default for hawke. not to push my own agenda but for example, trying out a primarily red hawke can really refresh the game without losing entertainment value. and a blueish red and purplish red are really different, and where you use that blue or purple really alters things. and i would recommend rivalling at least one companion... let your hawke have some opinions instead of just being blank slate to win everyone over
idk da2 is the kind of developing a character i love so it’s hard for me to explain the appeal. it gives you a set of really specific circumstances and you get to decide what kind of a person those circumstances create. here are some of the major questions that distinguish one of my hawkes from another:
how do they feel about the magic in their family? do they value it or resent its dangers?
how do they feel about being the eldest sibling, pushed into protecting and leading the family? did they accept that? does the pressure weigh? how does that affect their memory of their father and their relationship with leandra?
does their father have elven heritage, or heritage from another part of thedas? how does that affect their experiences in and out of their home? do they want to engage with or ignore that part of themselves?
what did they do before the game starts? where did they get and practice their skillset?
what makes them choose the spells and abilities they use? what specialisation do they take and why? who taught it to them?
do they care about their appearance? do they care about conforming to gender norms? how do they want to look and why? do they achieve it?
do they wish they could return to ferelden, or is kirkwall their home?
are they just doing all this to protect their family and stay out of the templars’ reach, or are they ambitious? do they want money? power? the luxuries of hightown? the ability to really change things? the status their mother told stories about? do those priorities change?
what are afraid of? how do the dangers they face every day affect them? which quests linger in their memory? how do those traumas affect their decision making?
have they ever been in love before? what are they looking for in a romantic partner? is the person they fall for what they would’ve gone for, or a surprise? what is it about their romance that made them fall for them? do they hold their parents’ romance as a perfect fairytale ideal or a fate to avoid?
maybe you can’t do anything you like with a hawke, but get a few unique ideas and a cohesive and interesting enough combination of the yes/no questions, or pick an answer to one of these questions that really grabs you and take that as far as you can to its natural extreme as the centre point of their character, and you can really do a lot
(and don’t be afraid to let them have answers to the above questions that you disagree them/that are morally imperfect!!!)
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foolishdragon · 3 months ago
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Uhhh guess I gotta introduce my oc Indra. Shes a melanistic silkwing and has a whole Backstory ive been working on. Yesh. Its below the read more bc its quite big. Description in alt. @crypt3ral its quite big but i wanan dhow u this
Indra
Indra's mom: Eri
Indra's dad: Ulysses
Mistress: Rhyssa
Psocid
Psocid's mother: June
Psocid's father: Thorax
Indra is a melanistic silkwing born a couple years after the Tree Wars in Jewel Hive. She wasn’t killed or thrown out because her family’s hivewing mistress thought she had such an exquisite appearance that she couldn’t get rid of her.
However… Silkwings couldn't be black, could they? This was something Indra was always puzzled by. She needed to know why she was the wrong color.
She believed it was because she was a hybrid. It was obvious to her. Silkwings never had black scales, but hivewings always did. After her metamorphosis, she didn't get an assigned partner because her mistress wanted her to focus on helping her. This was allowed because the mistress was rich.
Until she meets Psocid, an albino hivewing with no black scales. In fact, his scales had no color at all.
He is seen an outcast of the tribe. Hivewings belive his family has been cursed, to give them a godless heathen as a son.
Indra's misstress is the equivalent of a psychic and claims to be able to heal curses. Of course, Psocid is often brought with them as they spend more and more scales trying to get rid of their son's curse.
Indra is used as a marketing strat to give her more credibility. Like, she was able to connect Indra's parents with Clearsight to give her her black scales, so she would be seen as more respectful than those other silkwings.
Indra doesn't belive a word she says, but she is a silkwing so she gets no rights.
Again, she only doesn't get killed because her mistress insists she is proof of her powers.
During this time, Psocid and Indra become friends, since his parents and her mistress are often in deep private talks about lifting the curse or whatever and leave both alone.
Indra's mom worked for the hivewing mistress. There was a silkwing she loved and wanted to start a family with but he wasn't her assigned partner. She still had Indra with him, but when she was born with all black scales, her parents saw this as a bad omen, that what they were doing was wrong, so the guy left for a different Hive, and she gave Indra away to her mistress.
The mistress ratted her out almost immediately (but was allowed to keep Indra, as the guards didn't know that she had black scales, and again, she was rich. The only thing that can topple being rich is status). Her punishment for adultery was jail, and because she refused to reveal who the father was, she got stuck there for life.
Psocid's family, after the mistress slowly but surely drained them of their welth but their son was still white as snow and hadn't darkned a bit, started getting more and more suspicions that this "curse lift" wasn't working. They called her out, she acted like the problem was that they never had any faith in her so the healing process wasn't working, they shut it but decided to investigate.
Psocid's mother was a guard, which meant she had access to prison records. Soon she discovered that Indra's mother was in the prison (during the initial conversations the mistress let her name accidentally slip by) and went in to question her.
The mother wasn't eager at all to help a hivewing, but eventually told her story to Psocid's mother under one condition: she would be allowed to see her daughter again, even if its just once.
During one of the sessions, Psocid's mother exuses herself and goes to talk with Indra. She tells Indra that she can let her go see her mother, but she firstly has to gather proof that the mistress's powers are fake, and the best way to do that is by revealing that she didn't actually connect her with Clearsight, that she was simply born this way.
Indra, so blinded by the urge to see her mother, fails to realize that by doing this she is digging her own grave, by revealing that she isn't actually blessed.
After it gets out that Indra was born from an adulterous relation and that the mistress doesn't actually have anything to do with her black scales, the mistress is arrested for scamming dragons with her fake powers, and Indra also gets arrested for being a symbol of blasphemy.
Psocid's mother doesn't help her get out of jail, saying that she will not ruin her reputation by saving a silkwing. She does one good thing, and that is making sure Indra ends up in a cell close to her mother. But that's it, and only because the jail is mostly empty and she can choose whatever cells the prisioners get put into.
Indra's mother and Indra get to talk, and she reveals to Indra who her father really is. Indra is shocked she isn't a hybrid, like she was so sure of, but really wants to meet her father.
Psocid, in the dragon equivalent of "bring your kid to work", helps Indra and her mother get out of prison. He is risking everything to help them because he is really close to Indra, she was the only one who didn't make fun of his scales or thought he was cursed, or wanted to change him completly.
They escape, undetected. Psocid because of his sensitivity to sunlight is always covered in veils and fabrics, and blends in perfectly with the other fancy hivewings in Jewel Hive, so he uses that to lead both away. Again taking advantage of the fact no one looks at silkwings specially if they have a hivewing near them.
Indra's mother reveals Indra's father name, description and the Hive he said he would be working at.
But the mistress denounced them so now dragons are looking closely at silkwings. So they get spotted and have to run. This is brought to the attention of Wasp and she uses her mind control powers to possess Psocid and force him to bring Indra and her mother out of hiding.
But because Psocid isn't that strong physically nor does he have any hivewing powers Indra's mother can take him down. Using her silk Indra makes a little blindfold for him so that Wasp cannot see their location.
Indra insists they take Psocid with them because he saved them, and they can somehow find a way of cutting the connection with Wasp. Her mother argues that he'll just be a liability and could get them arrested. In the end Indra wins.
Her mother then says is best if they run away instead of going to look for Indra's father, as it will only put him at risk of getting caught too. She still loves him and doesn't want him to get in trouble for sheltering them. Indra reluctantly agrees. Wasp has been listening closely in Psocid's body and sends in guards to the location they're at.
Indra's mother and Indra, carrying Psocid with them, run away, out of Jewel Hive, and fly through the savannah. Guards pursue them, but they narrowly escape.
Eventually Wasp loses interest and lets Psocid go. She makes everyone belive she killed the runaways and everyone is like "good ridance, glad we got rid of the blasphemous hivewing and silkwing." Execept for Psocid's mother who is trying her best to find her son.
Indra, her mom and Psocid keep flying. They are flying along the river, and while Indra's mom isn't happy with walking so out in the open, specifically because of Psocid's scales, but there isn't any other option. She shields him as best as she can with her wings and Indra is doing more swimming than walking because her black scales absorb the sunlight and make her overheat. Her mom isn't happy about this either, who knows what kind of dangers are inside the water but there isn't much she can do.
Psocid feels bad. He feels like hes gonna get possessed by Wasp at any moment and let her know of their location.
They are going to Vinegaroon Hive, where Indra's father lives. They spend a while inside the Hive, trying to look for them, but eventually they give up and leave, unware that they have been spotted by some guards. Word travels, and reaches the ears of Psocid's mother, who up until now had been in a mad dash to find her son (or his corpse, since no one gave her closure on what exactly had gone down) hears the words "sickly pale hivewing traveling with a light blue silkwing and a weird dark colored silkwing" and starts making preparations to travel to Vinegaroon Hive.
Outside, just near Beetle Lake, there's a small fishing settlement. Its not big enough to call a town or a village, but some hivewings moved there so they could fish the well known fish from Vinegaroon Hive and, with permisson from Lady Vinegaroon and Queen Wasp, brought their families and silkwing servants with them.
One of those silkwings happens to be Ulysses, Indra's father, who sees her pass by and recognizes the pale blue scales of Eri, and how the black scaled dragon beside her looks nothing like a hivewing. He thinks he's hallucinating. Wasp had chased her around and then killed her, he had heard his hivewing employers say over the strange mind control Wasp had.
But one night, when everyone was asleep, he walked outside to drink water, and there she was. Eri, and his daughter, the one he abandoned as soon as she hatched. He wished he was wrong, but he only knew of one silkwing with scales as black as the night sky. They were accompanied by a white hivewing with big red eyes.
They meet, reconciliation or something, he apologizes for abandoning Eri and Indra, they ask that he help them.
"Help you... with what exactly?" He asks.
"I don't know. Hide. Get away. So we can live our lives. Psocid here is also with us." Eri says.
"I cant. I cant do anything. But maybe..."
Ulysses then reveals that up north from Beetle Lake, if the rumours are true, then there are dragons living there. No one has ever been able to confirm, because all that go there to investigate, including elite hivewing soldiers directed by Queen Wasp, either came back empty handed or never came back at all.
What do they do in such place? He doesn't know. But because not even Queen Wasp can get inside, it must be pretty secure. Eri doesn't buy this. She thinks its too convinient and too suspicious. Plus, the three of them are tired from the trip. Ulysses says that they could rest around here for a couple days. They can meet at midnight, and since the fields around beetle lake are filled with mounds, very tall grass and places to hide, they can stay safe for a while until they decide on the next step of their journey.
This continues for a couple days, but eventually, June arrives and starts searching Vinegaroon Hive from top to bottom. Being the dragon equivalent of head of the police force in Jewel Hive doesn't give her much authority in Vinegaroon Hive, but she is a desperate mother and does not let up, even if it puts her career at risk.
She's conducting this opperation alone. Involving her soldiers would attract too much unwanted attention, and doubting Queen Wasp's word would be, as her husband said, seen as treason and she could go to jail or even get killed for that. Her and Thorax had a huge fight over this, with him beliving that Psocid is dead and all of this is just her being in denial because why would their good Queen Wasp ever lie to them and really, what chances did a dragonet who is weak to the sun have of surviving in the savannah, and her fully ready to throw Wasp's judgment out of the window if it meant her son was alive.
Eventually she finds her way into the village, in the middle of the night, and sees Eri, Ulysses, Indra and Psocid.
"YOU!" She snarls at them. "Wasp thought you were dead, but look at you, just as alive as you were in the day you stole my kid from me."
"Mother, they-" Psocid tries to calm her, but it doesn't work. She says she's going to announce to everyone that they are still alive (without thinking of the consequences of calling Wasp a liar) and make sure they are dealt with this time, either rotting in jail or dead, and this includes Ulysses too, because taking care of prisioners is a crime, and so is cheating on your assigned partner.
June is making enough of a commotion that dragons are waking and walking outside to see what's up, so the group flies away as fast as they can, heading north, with June on their tails.
They pass by a little forest, and Indra and Psocid are confused because they've been told their whole life that trees were only avaliable in the Poison Jungle and Wasp had taken them all down, but there isnt time to question it with the hivewings of Beetle Lake curious to see what happened and June flying right behind them, trying to grab Psocid and go back to the Hives.
Up north they find mountains, with a long winding river, and have to land because they are all too tired to continue flying. The ground cover is strange, and Indra has a distinc feeling that this isn't what green grass is supposed to look like. June of course keeps flying overhead, and manages to snatch Psocid. As soon as hes out of the ground and before Ulysses, Eri or Indra have time to fly after June, vines shoot from below and pull them into the Earth, and Indra sees that the ground cover wasn't grass, but thick sturdy vines that pull them under the cover and return back to normal.
Three dragons are there, waiting for them. A silkwing and two brown dragons that they dont immediately recognize. They are shocked to know there are still some leafwings around, alive and kicking and that they have just been saved by a group of dragons that refuses to follow Wasp's orders and has been living in peace underground even before the Tree Wars.
These two leafwings, Eucalyptus and Snakeroot come from the Poison Jungle. They are from the first generation after the Poison/Sap split, when the "dragons from these two subtribes cannot interact" rule wasn't all that solidified. So they ran away togheter, and ended up on the other side of the continent. The silkwing, Metalmark, is a blind silkwing from Beetle Lake. Their mistress was an old, old hivewing, that cared a lot for them, even going as far as considering them a part of her family more than her own kids (who pretty much abandoned her the minute they got the chance to go live the more sofisticated life in the Hives) so when she died, she left some stuff on her will for Metalmark. Her kids didn't like this, and came after Metalmark to demand what they "stole" from them. Knowing full well they would not survive a trial against a hivewing, Metalmark ran away.
Indra wants them to get Psocid too, to save him from June, but the 3 refuse, saying he'll just be a liability because of Wasp's mind control. Snakeroot points out that getting them in front of two hivewings was dangerous as is, but Eucalyptus insisted. Indra retorts saying that Wasp thinks Psocid is dead, and if June ever reveals that they are alive and implies Wasp lied, they are more likely to execute her for treason than to belive her.
They still refuse, Metalmark remarking that they can't feel them anymore which means they probably are still flying and are impossible to reach. The canopy that serves as ground cover took years of dedicated leafspeakers to grow, and neither Snakeroot nor Eucalyptus are strong enough to move them very high, even working togheter.
Snakeroot, Eucalyptus and Metalmark take them deeper, to the actual settlement. To their surprise they actually start going up instead of down, and its revealed that the mountains have extense cave systems that go almost to their peak, so everyone doesn't need to stay 6 feet under. (Said by Snakeroot)
Aboveground, June has Psocid in a firm grip and is flying him back to the hives. However, the sun is starting to rise and Psocid doesn't have his veils, which means that his scales will likely burn in the sun as they dont have time to get to the Hives before the sun rises completly. June doesn't want to land, she saw the three silkwings being eaten by the ground, and is fearful that the vines will steal her son as well.
With the sun rising, Psocid insists even more, and June finally caves in and lands, in the forest they saw earlier. They both land in a tree branch, and don't say anything to eachother.
Psocid asks about the forest.
"Where do you think Wasp gets stuff to make paper from for all the books in her library?," June replies, "Where to you think she got all that treestuff to repair Mantis Hive when part of it collapsed? As much as she might deny it, we need the trees."
"But... doesnt treestuff come from shrubs? And the paper we use comes from silk, doesn't it?" Psocid asks.
"Those shrubs are more leaves than sap. Sap is what we use as glue to keep the hives togheter. If you get a talonful of treestuff from a shrub you're lucky. The trees just speed up the process enough for it to be profitable. And you're correct, most of the paper we use comes from silk, but the finest, most pristine books that end up in the Wasp Hive Library are made from real trees. We need the trees as much as we need the silkwings."
"I find it funny that we need the silkwings so much, yet treat them like they're less than dirt." Psocid says, even if he doesn't find it funny at all. Neither are laughing, and June doesn't say anything else.
The sun is up now, and they cannot leave the forest, not if they want to risk Psocid's scales burning.
Psocid asks about his father. June tells him he didn't care, that Thorax fully belives him dead. June is unsure if he cares about her either. She has the disctint feeling that if he cared he would have come with her.
While they wait for the sun to go back down, June does a bit of self reflection. She had been so caught up in trying to get her son back that she hadn't really thought of the consequences of actually bringing him back to the Hives and proving Wasp lied when she announced he was dead.
They couldn't go back to the Hives. But where would they go?
Psocid suggested they go back to the vine floor thing, and explained what Ulysses had told them. June sighs and agrees.
At sunset, when the sunlight isn't as harsh they can make it back.
Metalmark senses them and Snakeroot and Eucalyptus bring them both down, blindfolded for safery. Indra vouches for Psocid, saying that he's her friend and Wasp declared him dead, so she wont be possessing him. She does have her doubts about June, but Psocid swears she is on their side now.
The moments afterwards are very awkward. Psocid never had a good relashionship with his mother and June sees how much the stunt with Rhyssa damaged him and how being constantly trying to change him was not a "mother knows best" situation, and more of her trying to mold him to fit their status. They try to rebuild their relashionship togheter but it will take time.
The end (for now)
No, not really I wanted to add more but its a work in progress so no true ending for now lol.
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17gz · 4 months ago
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do you mind me asking what just happened w you guys’ roommate? of course lmk if youd rather not talk about it, i just didnt wanna ask about the situation through replies and thought itd be better to ask here in case youd wanna answer privately 🙁 regardless i hope you two are okay
tldr:
a friend i've known for 6 years + the two of us moved into this apartment last summer
i'd lived w this friend a few years before this and i thought they'd grown and worked on shit (boy was i wrong)
things were okay in the first half of our lease, minor problems but it seemed like we had a good foundation laid out for living together and we had plans to renew when this current lease ended
abt 4 months ago, my roommate met this person off a dating app and they basically immediately got together and their partner showed up one day and never left
even after trying to put boundaries down abt this, they didnt listen to any of it
i also don't trust their partner bc everyone thats met them has caught some of their lies. their entire story doesnt check out
the partner (on the day our friend found recent texts on their phone to their ex) got evicted from their old place bc they couldnt pay rent and they kinda cornered us and "asked" if their partner could live with us (not paying any rent btw) and we had rly no choice but to say yes
on top of that, their partner has been fatphobic and shitty and disrespectful to us on a near daily basis. nobody in my friends life likes this partner, not their parents or any of their friends, and especially us. i tried talking to my friend about this and they acted like they took it seriously but clearly didn't...
shit kept building after they were making us feel uncomfortable and intrusive in our own apartment for 4 months, and initially i said we could renew the lease since $875 rent per person sounded tempting + i found this unit + i like this unit + i hate moving, but it just really wasnt a good idea
the final straw was my friends partner being extremely rude and disrespectful to my high school friend during pride (my hs friend is a trans woman) and when we talked to them about it, they denied everything and deflected so fucking hard, we were completely fed up with it and realized that 4 months of this has been hell and i can't do another 12 months of this
last tuesday, we told them that we would not be renewing our lease, which ends july 30. we apologized about the late notice, and explained our side and tried to be as sympathetic and helpful as possible abt them renewing the lease with other roommates, but they were upset and i get being upset, so i was giving them some space etc
we made our conversation as mature and non aggressive as possible, ive been trying to stay as collected and polite as physically possible, especially since we are the only two men in this unit
they started being extremely passive aggressive and rude and awful to us throughout the past week, and even when i was helping them figure shit out with our landlord etc, they were still so rude to us... i mean slamming doors and stomping their feet and rolling their eyes when we walk past and deadbolting the door when we leave the apartment etc
after so much hostility etc in this unit, we stayed with mutual friends for the weekend and we told them abt everything and they were all extremely supportive and said we were not at all in the wrong for this, and that we have been extremely patient with them for so long. even a friend i didnt expect to side with us was 100% on our side and wants to talk to them one on one
we're in the process of applying for a new unit and fingers crossed we can move out asap. we started properly packing today, and during that, our friend asked to talk to us
they asked what we left out of our convo and what personal issues we had, i said i'm not comfortable talking about that until we're in our separate apartments and things have cooled down more. they were really mad that i was firm on that, they accused us of creating the tension and hostility in the apartment, despite the fact that we have actively been avoiding causing shit because our stress levels are through the roof and they're already demonizing us to others bc we put down a boundary, i can't be petty etc and give them an actual reason to demonize us.
as we kept talking, they were like. shaking with rage with a smile on their face and saying passive aggressive shit to us and saying we need to move out sooner than our planned move out date...
important context: my dad is the guarantor, i found this unit, and 99% of the furniture etc we have here is ours.
(disclaimer before i say this, i know various people with BPD. people that will take accountability for their actions and take steps to work on their coping mechanisms and behavior etc.) but this "friend" has BPD that they use as an excuse for every single one of their shitty actions and does not take any responsibility for their behavior. their partner, as far as i know, is not diagnosed with anything and while i'm no psychiatrist, i've had 3 diff people (including my actual psychiatrist) say this is telltale NPD. again not to say that makes you a terrible person, but when you don't take any steps to work on yourself etc and harm others around you, thats what i take issue with. its the definition of a volatile BPD + NPD relationship...
ive also been there for this friend more times than i can count. i've wiped so much snot and tears from their face, i've put aside my own shit to help them and i've done so much for them. thats rarely been reciprocated... they do not give a shit about us and it completely showed today when they talked to us and it became clear they were trying to financially trap us here and they're furious that we put a boundary down. they treat us like their parents, their therapists, and their savings account, and if we EVER did something like that to them, the fallout would be nuclear.
i'm literally shaking typing this and hearing them come out of their room slamming doors and shit. i don't know what they're capable of, and i don't know if they're planning on doing anything, but im afraid because i don't know. i've been having nonstop panic attacks recently and the living situation here is adding immense stress on top of the apt hunting process and moving process. i feel fucking sick genuinely
i'm sure i've left a LOT out, but its been nightmarish here
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snail-berry · 1 year ago
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My whole life I’ve felt like I’m never enough of something to fit in to a group/community. I’m non-binary but I present very femininely so most people assume I’m a woman which I was ok with at the time. I’m Jewish but I was raised Catholic and sent to catholic school (my parents were told it would be a better education) so I am not as educated as I’d like to be (but I have been learning) and I don’t fit in with my Jewish family as much nor did I ever fit in with my Catholic classmates as I was always “the Jewish one”. I’m fat but until recently I was in between sizes where I still got ridiculed for being fat and doctors told me losing weight would fix all my problems but was never fat “enough” to fit into a community or have support. Overall, I was too much or not enough to fit in with my peers in some way or another.
So, I tried to be “normal” and fit in with my classmates or friends but it never worked. Trying to be straight and cis did not make me straight or cis and trying to be thin did not make me thin, it made me miserable and self conscious and have disordered eating and hate myself for being the way I am. I have never been able to fit in with others and finding out I’m probably autistic has explained part of that but Ive always felt like I’m either too much or never enough for everyone I’ve ever met and it makes just being me so hard.
In recent years, I’ve become the kind of person who is unapologetically myself because for so long I completely hid who I was to try to fit in with these communities. I tried to be cis, I tried to be “Catholic” and hide that I was Jewish (which is hard with a very Jewish last name haha), I tried to lose weight and dress in ways that made me appear thinner so I could be “normal”. But becoming unapologetically myself has been something that has made me so much more confident and happy with myself and my life. I’ve never gotten more compliments than when I dyed my hair or when I wear outfits that don’t hide my body. I’ve gotten a partner who loves and accepts me for who I am and stopped being friends with people who didn’t support me as I am. I express myself how I feel comfortable doing so and while I still face homophobia and fatphobia and lots of judgements from others I am becoming who I want to be and that has made me so much happier.
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kasaneteto · 11 months ago
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sorry i simply must complain for a moment
ive been complaining about my roommate too much on instagram so im doing it here instead 🖕 fuck you
MOTHERFUCKER CANNOT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF!!!! tell me why this man is turning 26 NEXT WEEK and can’t remember to pay me back for the bills. won’t do any chores unless he’s asked to or HE has friends coming over. i literally feel like im living with a teenager.
i’ve recently realized just how much ive coddled him and made excuses for him because of his mental health struggles and the way his parents treated him his whole life. ive also realized that its entirely up to him to recognize that his mental health struggles & trauma are HIS problems to deal with and i shouldnt have to temper my expectations because of that. i can only tell him he needs therapy so many times before it’ll just go in one ear and out the other like every other thing i say to him. he is so incapable of any kind of self-reflection or self-awareness, has no concept of how his actions might affect others, can’t make any compromises without throwing a fucking tantrum about it. it’s exhausting. he requires so much attention and validation in order to be happy. being in the same room is like an invitation to talk to him. AND HE SAYS THE SAME SHIT. its like ive exhausted all dialogue options. he always makes the same stupid jokes that are just *goofy or purposefully obnoxious comment about what im doing* and i DONT have the energy to entertain that shit every day. but it RUINS his mood if you dont partake in his humor and then he just sulks. he cannot be serious. everything is jokey goofy fun time. when finn and i told him she’s trans & that we broke up his response was just to stare at us like a deer in headlights and go “oh. okay. sorry thats just a lot to process” which is like. just such a perfect prime example of how he cannot handle anything serious or heavy. when he got cheated on he was inconsolable and would not leave finn and i alone (and we wanted to help!!! we care about him!!!) he literally would follow us to our room and we would have to ask him for alone time!!!! he’s like a baby!!!! he’s so deadset on finding a new partner and i just wanna scream in his face NO RELATIONSHIP YOURE IN WILL EVER WORK IUT UNTIL YOU WORK ON YOURSELF AND UNPACK YOUR TRAUMA!!!!!!
he always uses money as an excuse like “ohhh i cant afford it” motherfucker. you can’t afford anything that isnt something you want. so you cant afford to pay me bills on time but you can afford a new monitor for cyber monday? you can’t afford therapy but you can afford to get a shitty fake christmas tree because THATS what’s important to you? he lives so fucking hedonistically and acts like he lives paycheck to paycheck when he makes 22 DOLLARS AN HOUR. MOTHERFUCKER YOU MAKE MORE THAN ME. YOU CAN FUCKING AFFORD IT YOU JUST DONT BUDGET OR SAVE AT ALL.
ok sorry i had to get that shit out because im so frustrated with him. i had a party the other night and he just sulked around until his friends came, hung out with them and only them the whole time, then continued to sulk and complain once they left. then sat around scrolling on his phone while my friends helped me clean everything up. my friends who actually are responsible and arent just in their own world with no consideration for others.
its not like he’s a bad person or even a bad friend because he truly isn’t. he’s just so emotionally immature and does not have the strength to look inward & realize that he is the source of most of his unhappiness in his life currently. its really hard to live around given the stage of my life im currently in.
i wish i could tell him all of this to be honest but hes so fucking sensitive. i HAVE tried to talk to him about a lot of these issues too (him needing to he asked to do chores, not paying me back etc) and its always the same thing. he gets better for a couple months but it quickly goes back to how it was before. im just like so done acting like his problems are mine. done asking him for favors. i hate that living with him has made me lose so much respect for him (he has no moral backbone) because like. i can see that he wants to be better. he just isnt strong enough to admit that hes the problem in his life right now. anyways. thanks for reading this if you did lol
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justasadcookie · 6 months ago
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I dont know what to do anymore. Im thinking about ending my life.
When I was a child my parents were really strict and their punishments were physical. I wasnt allowed to go out, have sleepovers and stuff like that. Nowadays I would say we are on I guess I could say good terms. Especially since I moved out a year ago.
When I was 5, my kindergarten teacher sexually assaulted me.
I was bullied throwout my whole primary school.
I lost a family member when I was 15. I got raped by a police officer at 18.
Ive been in toxic relationships.
Now Im broke. Im a drug addict. Already struggling with depression and OCD.
I have a partner of 3 years at the moment. We have our ups and downs, but we are really trying and fighting for our relationship.
Ive cheated on my partner with people that I thought I could trust which I thought were my friends. I would get so wasted to the point they took the advantage of it. I would wake up in cars, from the waist down naked. One time there was a storm and this friend called me if they could go to my place, and hang out till the storm stops so i agreed naively(we used to live in the same area). I invited them in. They were drunk and really fucking high. They sat on the couch, forcefully pulled me into their lap and starting taking my clothes off and started humping me on the floor. This also happened with a previous landlord, they would come in drunk as fuck. Me being a dumb bitch asking if they could drive me to the gym. They would stop in the parking lot and force me to take my pants off and start touching me. Mind you these guys were twice my height and weight so it's not like I could fight back.
This happened on multiple occasions and I always kept my mouth shut, because they would threaten me if I ever told anyone, they would ruin my life.
Recently Ive found out I have two tumors, an autoimmune disease, thyroid disease and an undiagnosed stomach problem. Next week I have an ultrasound to find out what's going on.
My biggest dream and goal is to become a mother. I think the world is telling me that I'm useless, a waste of breath and just not worth living.
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mdhwrites · 2 years ago
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 I actually think the fandom is scared of Boscha being strong because they don’t like admitting the bully IS sometimes much stronger than you. I have consumed lots of Boscha content, and I’ve seen L U Z written as lifting Boscha in the air with one arm by the throat, or just generally deleting her in single hand combat?
 Meanwhile I’ve read Boschlow (and Scarscha) content where Boscha is perfectly strong and capable even in comparison to Willow (yes I know Boschlow is controversial but the Boscha content that isn’t just hateful to her is HARD to find, luckily most of it drags Boscha through a long ass redemption arc or just makes her nicer from the get go?). Its usually Boscha haters who paint her as an inhumane monster and make her incompetent… or homophobic (SOMEHOW??)… or fatphobic… or transphobic... or a perv… or an abuser… yes i have seen all of these in various fics.
 Hunt//w does do the whole… uh… make Willow’s partner pathetic to emphasise her strength. But part of that is the fandoms obsession with having Hunter be cradled and petted for being such a good trauma dumpster, and Willow tends to baby Hunter in a lot of stories ive read.
So… This is honestly touching on the fact that the fandom projects a LOT of themselves onto the characters to an EXTREMELY unhealthy degree. You can see it on multiple levels throughout the show. Because Luz is canonically nuerodivergent with ADHD, they will protect her to the ends of the Earth. Because many of have experienced some form of parental abuse or have strained relationships with their parents, they push onto Odalia and Alador the idea that they truly are the most evil people ever. Though actually, even back between Seasons 1 and 2, you have people playing dual fantasies. The godlike parent who would always understand them in Alador but just couldn't do anything their hellish partner who hated everything about them, Odalia.
And of course, you have the possibility that much of the fandom has been bullied for many reasons (say, all those phobic elements you brought up? Just saying the writer may have a personal reason to bring those in). As such, the bully character is going to be hated beyond comparison. They're also going to be treated in such a way as to make them feel strong. Hence why people will even ignore "My weak nerd arms" Luz for the sake of allowing themselves to feel like they're beating the bully. To feel like they're superior.
Admittedly, most of this comes from the Twitter side of the fandom in my eyes. However, Twitter kind of cultivates this attitude for a show like this? How many people do you see making hateful content towards Boscha who are
Constantly online LGBTQ+ Heavily expressive of themselves Do not wish to be told what to do Incredibly hurt and angry at certain other groups, especially white dudes?
And none of these are inherently bad, especially the LGBTQ+ part, except for probably that last one because racism is still racism even against a dominant class. eyes Velma and how it's still on the air despite being racist because of that fact I also want to admit that I very much so fall into the first, third and sometimes even fourth categories. And eight years ago I was such a shit. If I hated an element of My Little Pony back then, EVERYONE had to agree with me. You were a moron if you didn't and just blind.
I crashed hard and lost a lot of friends because of that mentality and changed though. I try to see other perspectives and actually listen to other people. It's this listening that allows me to write LGBTQ+ characters despite not being one. I'm not going to say my stuff is as good as what an actual sapphic writer could do but it seems like sapphics do in fact like my work and don't find it offensive.
Sorry, got a little sidetracked. The larger point is that what people do with Boscha is… Fine. It's what fanfiction is for honestly. To release or explore the emotions and ideas you want to. It only becomes a problem when that fiction matters more than the reality of things. When you might see a blog like this and scream at me for enabling abuse or supporting bullying just because I think Boscha has more depth than you do.
No one has done that to me because of Boscha btw. Luz? I've been told to go die because "She's a minor and nuerodivergent" (I'm not kidding. TOH fans unironically use that meme to excuse Luz) despite the fact that… She's a fictional character. And I'm not. She'll never be affected by my words or your feelings. I sure as shit will be.
sigh And to touch on the last point: Yes, Huntlow definitely gets pushed for infantalizing Hunter but the show in general does that with how everyone treats him. It's not malicious in my eyes though because it happened to Amity too. It's just more of a thing in the fandom art while most people don't focus on the fact that Amity has quite obviously become less skilled, focused or impressive in general since getting with Luz. Somehow she's more powerful despite not training and seeming to not have any interest in magic anymore but that's because the show runs on "It's magic and fuck you."
sigh This show doesn't do character arcs well. And the fandom is blinded by how the characters can represent them and what they want more than what is actually happening on screen. Which is nothing new. Not for fandoms or for this show.
And sorry for how rambly this got. I have complicated feelings towards this fandom for so many reasons.
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heecyon · 3 years ago
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Enhypen Little Angels Series: When they find out their s/o is pregnant
warnings: cursing, mentions of miscarriage and hospitals, collapsing, vomiting and couvade syndrome (for Sunghoon and Sunoo)
this happens before the og enha little angels
taglist: @skyaura-koo @serendipityclick @en-sun @envirae @exulansis-eun @gamezzzz
Pls tell me if I forgot anyone from the taglist and I'll fix it immediately.
I'll try to fix any grammar mistakes. Sorry for the delay
word count: 1,523 words
Lee Heeseung:
“Heeseung... What if i'm really pregnant?” Mina said bouncing on her feet.
Being nervous wasn't the words that she would use to describe how she feeling at the moment.
“If you are pregnant, then that means that our child will have the most amazing mother and the most amazing father.” He set his hands around Mina's waist, then accommodated his head on her shoulder.
“I'm not talking about that.” She sighed, looking at the ring on her finger.
“You mean... the loss?” Mina nodded, her gaze was sad and her eyes were glossy.
“It wasn't your fault jagi, and I know that you fear that the same thing will happen again, but I promise you that everything will turn out for good.” Heeseung placed a soft kiss on his wife's lips, then unified his forehead with hers.
“I think... I'll go check the test.” Mina said before placing a kiss in Heeseung's cheek and going to the bathroom to see the results.
He waited a few seconds and then...
“Heeseung, I'm actually pregnant!”
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Park Jongseong
“How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?” Bella said looking at IV hooked on her hand.
Jay kept walking around the hospital room, he was a little bit mad, he thought that Bella hadn't taken care of herself as he told her to.
“As many times as you want, because it's not gonna work for me, or make me feel better.” He kept pacing around back and forth, trying to keep himself calm.
“If you keep rambling nothing will be solved.” Jay huffed, as he pinched the skin of his left arm.
“And if you keep dismissing your health nothing will get solved!”
Bella groaned, sometimes Jay could be way to stubborn.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I've been taking care of myself.” She pouted.
“It doesn't seem like that to me.”
Just in time the doctor appeared on the room.
“What is it doctor? Is she healthy?” She smiled at Jay and then at Bella.
“Well, there isn't any problem... Except that you have high levels of HCG.”
They both looked at the doctor completely confused.
“This high level of HCG only appears on pregnancy. Congratulations, you are pregnant.”
If they were confused before then, I don't know how to describe how they felt by the moment.
“Huh?!”
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Shim Jaeyun
“Do you think is something bad?”
Jake shook his head, while looking around the doctor's office. He was way more anxious than what he showed, but he tried his best to stay calm for Teagan.
It had been days since Teagan started vomiting and having nausea, to the point that she spent most days locked in the bathroom and nearly fell down the stairs because of how dizzy she felt.
“I'm done! I'm taking you to the doctors!”
Teagan looked at him dumbfounded. Why did he wanted to take her to the doctors so suddenly.
“But I feel fine.”
“Being fine is not nearly falling down the stairs because of dizziness.”
Teagan hated hospitals with all her might, and always tried everything to avoid them, but guess who still drag her to the hospital? Jake!
The doctor finally entered the office, making the couple turn their gaze to him.
He gave them a small smile, before saying:
“I already have your lab results...”
Jake grabbed his wife's hand, trying to calm himself down a little and also reassuring her that everything will be okay.
In the best case he thought you had a stomach bug. In the worst case you could some kind of terminal illness.
... But gladly those weren't the cases.
“It seems like you have high levels of human chorionic gonadotropin.” Teagan looked at the doctor with a dumbfounded gaze.
“What those that mean?” Teagan looked at the doctor and then looked at Jake who was in shock, but then spoke.
“It means... that you are pregnant.”
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Park Sunghoon
... It started when Sunghoon started having symptoms. Hyeyoung noticed how tired Sunghoon was does days and how he started having cravings... A lot of cravings.
“And can you please add an extra order of fries please?” “Thank you.”
He hanged up on the call while Hyeyoung looked at him weirded out.
“You sure you are okay?” She walked up to him, seating beside him on the sofa.
“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”
“Well... because you are acting like a pregnant woman.”
Sunghoon giggled a little, before he realised that...
“Hyeyoung? When was the last time that you had your period?” The girl looked down for moment, and then she finally realised what was going on.
Now they were both looking at the positive pregnancy on their hands.
“Oh shit!”
“OH HOLY SHIT!”
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Kim Sunoo
Another case of couvade syndrome...
“Ah! Noona! Sunoo-Hyung just fainted!” Aera ran to the studio and saw the boys fanning Sunoo to make him feel better.
Sunno saw Aera's worried expression and then smiled at her to ease her up.
“I'm fine jagiya. I'm just tired.” He stood up with the help of his oldest members.
He walked up to Aera, who changed her expression suddenly, she started feeling way to dizzy and all off the sudden she lost her balance and collapse on Sunoo's.
The rest of the members started shouting worriedly and asked the staff to call medical help.
“I guess we have the same condition or something.” Sunoo spoke when they where both in the doctors office waiting for both of their results.
“It's probably the flu, or a cold is kicking our butts.” Aera chucked and Sunoo giggled a little.
The doctor entered the room, with the results on his hands.
“Well it seems like Sunoo is pretty healthy and there is no reason for your collapse, except that you have couvade syndrome.” He frowned at the doctors words wanting a clear explanation.
“It's when a partner presents the same symptoms as their pregnant partner.” Aera was the one frowning at that moment. Was the doctor saying what she thought he was saying?
“I'm sorry, but my wife is not...”
“The fuck?! She's pregnant?!”
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Yang Jungwon
This boy rushed to the hospital the moment that he got a call from her mom, saying that Mirae had fallen down the stairs.
He freaked out, but when he got there Mirae explained him that she had blacked out and that made her fall down three steps of stairs.
“Are you sure you don't feel pain or anything?” Jungwon played with her hair, while he sat on her hospital bed.
“Wonie, I'm fine, it's just a small bruise”
“And a concussion.” Mirae's mother blurted that out of nowhere. Which made the girl murmured a "Mom" angrily.
“Ah! I guess I'll stay up with you all night.” He said rubbing her shoulders.
“I also have something else to tell you...” She grabbed a strand of hair and started playing with it.
“Hmm?” Jungwon payed all his attention ontu her.
“The doctor did a few tests... Everything's okay, but...” She passed and stayed quiet for while.
“What's wrong Rae, you can tell me anything, remember?” Jungwon smiled showing his cute dimples.
Mirae sighed, inhaled... Then exhaled.
“I'm pregnant.”
Jungwon seemed in shock by what she had just blurted out, but then started laughing immediately.
He was happy, obviously he was... But then he paused.
“When did I made you a baby?”
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Nishimura Riki
They where both visiting Niki's parents in Japan, they where on vacations so they used that to pay a visit to them.
Mei Lin wasn't feeling that good throughout the whole way to her in laws house, she felt like throwing up the ride in the plane, but she thought it was just motion sickness.
“You sure you are okay? If you don't feel well enough, we can stay at the hotel and go tomorrow.” Niki wasn't that sure of what to do at the moment, but he thought it would pass in a few hours.
“No, I think I still feel bad because of the flight, but it'll pass in a few minutes, I promise.” She said patting Niki's head before calling over a taxi.
They got home pretty fast and had dinner. They were both enjoying their time, but something about the food just made Mei feel nauseated. So she covered her mouth and nose with her left hand.
The family noticed pretty fast and Niki's sister was already looking for a pill to calm Mei's stomach down.
While Niki was rubbing her back, his mother commented.
“You know, this reminds me of the symptoms I had when I had a few weeks of pregnancy with Riki.” She laughed it off, but something about just made the rest of the family including Mei freeze.
“I think... I'll just go get a pregnancy test.”
Everybody's eyes widened and the thought of their daughter in law being pregnant was kinda shocking.
An hour later, a positive pregnacy test was on the couple's hands.
Niki and Mei were both in complete shock, they were happy of course... But still shocked.
“I wasn't expecting you guys to take me seriously when I said «I want grandchildren as soon as possible.»”
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tomboyneedshercoffee · 4 years ago
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Lovedust Pt.5 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader
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Summary: Y/N invites Josh over to work on a project while Peter goes back to his Spiderman duties which sends Y/N into a spiral.
Word Count: 4.6k
Author’s Note: WOWIE I really stayed up all night to finish this ha. Anyway! This gives more backstory about Y/N and what happened with her biological parents and ughhhh things are moving yall! Also leave comments if it’s good and if it’s bad also leave comments 🥰
Warnings: Mention of blood, death, panic attack, ANGST 
part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || 
part seven || part eight || epilogue 
Even though the Avengers Complex was your home, it was much more than a place where you crashed after school. You had to keep in mind that to any normal person, the idea of seeing alien technology in use or friends from galaxies away wasn’t an average Thursday. 
You never thought any of this was particularly strange until now as you got the text from Josh that he was parked in the back lot of the building like you had told him to. 
Since you and Josh were partners for anatomy, you thought it would be obvious that you would be staying at his house to work on your project but your dad had other ideas. 
The sheer thought of you going to a boy’s house to “study” was absurd, especially since Josh’s parents were always out of town for business. You never thought your dad would ever let any of your friends into the complex, especially a boy but in the name of science, it wasn’t too hard to convince him. 
You quietly opened the side door as Josh slid in behind you and let out a low whistle. 
“ Not too shabby Stark, although I gotta say, the lawn is looking a bit wild,” Josh smiled as he readjusted his backpack straps,” if you need me to come over to cut it, I charge $9.00 an hour.”
“ In that case, your first shift starts next week,” You teased as you led him to the main set of elevators in the building. 
You couldn’t help but feel on edge as Josh followed close behind you. You had never brought anyone over and you were scared that bringing Josh would make things turn into a big deal. You knew how protective some of the other Avengers were of you and you just prayed silently that you wouldn’t run into any of them, especially Peter. 
You weren’t sure how Peter would take it if he found out you and Josh were getting closer. 
Peter was in a fragile state and who knew what little thing could set him off. You were even more worried that Peter would find out about the party tomorrow night because it wasn’t like you could invite him along. 
The idea of mixing hormonal teenagers and alcohol was a recipe for disaster but the damage that could be made from Peter’s self-destructive state could be even bigger. 
As much as you knew how badly things could turn out with Josh in the complex, you knew you couldn’t let Peter’s actions affect what went on in your academic life and at the end of the day, Josh was just a classmate. 
Josh looked all around him, taking in everything from the colorful array of gadgets neatly built into the walls to the natural light coming from the sleek windows. 
“ I feel so out of place- am I underdressed?” Josh asked as a few lab technicians walked past giving you and Josh an odd glance,” and how do you not get lost in a place this big.” 
You pressed the elevator button and gave Josh a reassuring smile,” Trust me, they’ve seen weirder things around here. Like, way weirder things.”
When the elevator doors opened, the two of you walked in and you started pointing to the elevator buttons,” So a quick tour! We’re on the main floor which basically is used for important meetings and conferences, the second floor is for the gym and pool, the third is where some of the bedrooms are, fourth is strictly for the scientists, the fifth is the labs, and the other floors are for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Also, the basement has all the cool gadgets I’m not allowed to play with but I’m convinced it’s just where the guys all hang out and drink.” 
“ You have an indoor pool?” 
“ That’s what caught your attention?” You laughed as Josh nodded enthusiastically.
“ Well yeah! Do you even use it? I vaguely remember that when you were twelve, you almost drowned in 4ft water at someone’s pool party,” Josh said as you pressed the third button. 
“ It was 5ft but yes I know how to swim...my dad made me take lessons after that,” You mumbled as you remembered that experience vividly,” I tried lifeguarding last summer at that super fancy hotel near Greenwich but the training was too expensive so I just took a CPR course at the YMCA and lifeguarded there.” 
“ Did you ever have to save anyone?” Josh asked curiously as the glass elevators moved up towards your floor. 
You nodded as Josh’s mouth dropped,” Yup, I had to give CPR and everything. Lucky for them, saving lives runs in my family.” 
As the elevator doors opened up to your floor, you made sure to carefully scan the hallway before stepping out. Peter was supposed to be up in the labs all-day so that gave you enough time to work on the project with Josh while keeping Peter at a safe distance. 
As you were approaching the door to your room, the fridge door in the kitchen closed and revealed Peter with an IV pole on his left side and an apple in the other hand. 
“ Peter!” You said nervously as you took a small step in front of Josh, almost as if you were covering him up from Peter’s line of vision,” What are you doing here? I thought you were up in the labs?” 
Peter looked past you and eyed Josh up and down before holding up the fruit, walking towards the two of you,” Um, I needed something to eat- Who is he?” 
Peter was constantly feeling some type of distress whether it was chest pains or headaches but now that he clearly caught you hiding a boy from him, the pain felt off. 
You had never brought over any of your friends to the headquarters before so to Peter, this was already a red flag. Peter felt like his body was on high alert as thousands of scenarios were going through his head. 
Josh stepped forward and held his hand out for Peter to shake,” Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Josh. Y/N and I go to Manhattan Prep together.”
Peter looked down at Josh’s hand for a moment before shaking it hard. Josh winced but played off his pain as he pulled his hand away and stuffed it back into his pockets. You could feel the one-sided tension between the two as you looked over to Peter to try to ease him but his eyes were glued to Josh. 
You cleared your throat as you turned to face Josh,“ Peter is a part of my dad’s internship program so he spends most of his time here at the complex. He’s pretty much a part of the family and he’s a really good friend, right Peter? ” 
Peter nodded as he tried to calm his nerves down, his quick glance to Josh was almost as if he was begging his body to put his guard down.  He couldn’t control his body and this was the first time the lovedust had forced him into a territorial state. 
“ No kidding, that’s awesome man. My buddy from Midtown was telling me that he knew a guy who was accepted into the Stark Internship,” Josh said as Peter stood up a little straighter. 
“ Oh really? Who?”
“ Flash Thompson, do you know him?” Josh asked as Peter looked over at you, almost as a warning. 
While Josh was trying to be civil towards Peter, Peter couldn’t help but feel the pit in his stomach sink lower and lower with the thought of Josh even associating with someone like Flash. 
“ As a matter of fact, I do know Flash,” Peter said smoothly, his speech hardly hesitating,” you sure know how to pick friends.” 
You and Josh could tell that Peter was giving a dig towards him but Josh quickly let it go as he tried to ease the situation. 
“ Well... it was nice to meet you Peter, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine,” Josh said as he gave a genuine smile,” I’m sure Y/N already mentioned this to you but if you’re not busy or anything, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow and you should come out.”
Fuck. 
Peter looked at you for a moment before returning a small smile to Josh,” Thanks, I’ll think about it.” 
“ Um Josh, can you just wait in my room for a second?” You asked as Josh looked between the two of you and nodded. 
You didn’t want to be upset at Peter for feeling hostile towards Josh because you knew he really couldn’t help himself. It was eating away at you that you were the reason Peter was acting so jealous but come on, did he really have a reason to?
Once Josh closed the door behind him, you turned back to Peter and looked down at the IV that was in his arm. 
“ Is everything okay?” You asked as Peter looked down at his arm,” that looks pretty serious.”
“ Yeah… I’ve been having some problems but nothing your dad can’t fix” Peter deflected softly before looking over to your bedroom door,” so Josh...is he a friend?”
Peter knew he was walking on thin ice asking about Josh but he couldn’t bring himself to just go back in the labs and worry about the two of you all day. 
“ He’s just a friend Peter, we have a school project and we’re partners,” You reassured him as Peter felt almost relieved,” and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the party, I didn’t think you would want to go but I should’ve asked.”
Peter studied your expression for a moment before looking down at his feet. It was hard to tell if you were telling the truth, maybe you didn’t want him to come. School project or not, Peter felt threatened by Josh, even if Josh was trying his best to be as nice as possible. 
“ It’s okay, you’re right. Parties aren’t my thing anyway,” Peter shrugged as you bit the inside of your cheek.
You weren’t sure why you felt so guilty but whatever you were feeling, you hated how much it was stirring inside of you. You never wanted Peter to feel left out and you could easily tell that it was bothering him as much as it was bothering you. 
“ Maybe if you’re not busy tonight, we can watch a movie together. I checked the kitchen this morning and there’s a ton of frozen pizzas if you’re up for it?” You suggested as Peter tapped his fingers against the side of his leg. 
Peter wanted to jump at the offer, any excuse to hang out with you alone literally set Peter so close to having a cardiac arrest in the best way possible. While he was getting the hang of controlling his words around you, it felt like the more time you spent with him, the more he felt himself fall for you. 
“ I’m actually going to patrol tonight,” Peter said in a low whisper as he looked back at your bedroom door,” I haven’t been on the streets in a long time and I think I feel well enough to go.” 
“ Are you sure you’re ready? You’re literally hooked up to an IV bag Peter,” You said as Peter subtly pushed the IV pole behind him as if he could hide it. 
“ I won’t do anything crazy, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be out for a couple of hours and we can hang out when I get back,” Peter said as you hesitantly nodded. 
You understood that being a superhero meant that you couldn’t take sick days but this was an extreme circumstance. To you, Spiderman could wait but for Peter, that was a large part of his livelihood that he had put aside for too long. 
You wanted to tell him not to go, better yet, if you could hide every single one of his Spiderman suits you would. It didn’t sit right with you that with everything going on with his health that he would jeopardize it but you knew it wasn’t your call. 
“ Okay, but please text me updates so I know you’re safe. Things have been so crazy lately and I-”
“ Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be okay,” Peter interrupted as he felt his heart grow heavy,” I promise I’ll keep you updated.”
You didn’t know why the thought of Peter going out was so scary but before you could think things over in your head, your feet stepped forward and you pulled Peter into a tight hug. You rested your chin against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply as if hugging Peter would calm down your nerves for the rest of your life. 
Without a second thought, Peter drew his arms over your body and held you close to his chest. His heart beat even faster than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you even tighter than before. 
                                                         ----------
You checked your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour as you grew more and more anxious. 
Peter had been gone for hours to go patrol while you and Josh were still working on the project. It was eating away at you that Peter wasn’t back yet and every time another minute passed without an update, you felt like you were closer to losing your mind. 
Even before Peter made contact with the lovedust, you would still secretly pray that he got home in one piece. When everyone you knew and loved had a career that put themselves in the line of danger, thoughts of not having them around anymore plagued you whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself. 
You had lost people before to freak accidents like your biological parents who had passed away when you were old enough to know how death worked. You couldn’t imagine not having Tony as your dad but some nights whenever you were filled to the brim with anxiety,  you wondered what your life would’ve been like if your parents weren’t killed during that home invasion. 
When you’ve lost people, it never gets easier, terror plagues you. The fear of someone you know getting hurt was by far scarier than anything Hollywood could recreate with CGI and yet, it was slowly looming over you. 
Superheros were literally your life and you weren’t mentally prepared that one day, something bad could happen and you could lose them forever. With Peter, you weren’t sure if it was because of how close the two of you were now but the fear of losing him was bigger than any other scenario you had crafted in your head. 
“ Is everything okay? You seem a little out of it,” Josh said as you looked away from your phone and back towards your laptop. 
“ Yeah, I’m good, my body just feels so tired. I’ve read so much medical terminology within the past couple of hours and now everything is jumbling together,” You sighed as you looked down at Josh who was sprawled out onto your bedroom floor with a textbook resting against his stomach. 
You never realized how comfortable your floor was but seeing Josh on your floor looking as effortless as ever was a shock to your system. When Josh caught your gaze, you turned back to your laptop and rested your cheek against your palm to try to cover the blush that was creeping onto your cheeks. 
As you rested your cheek against your propped up hand, you could feel your eyelids get heavier with each passing second. Josh noticed from his spot on the ground and sat upon his hands, watching you ever so intently. 
You weren’t sure how much time had passed once you closed your eyes but once you felt a blanket drape across your shoulders, you stirred quietly. 
You held your breath as you waited for anything else but all you could hear was paper shuffling around. You peeked your eye out and saw Josh crouched down on your floor, carefully putting his textbooks and notes into his backpack, being careful not to wake you. 
Instead of waking up to say goodbye, you pretend to be asleep as if you were too nervous to even confront Josh this late. The papers stopped shuffling and as you tried to keep your breathing patterns even, you felt Josh’s hand rub your shoulder softly before walking out of the room. 
Once your bedroom door had closed, you hesitantly opened your eyes and gave a quick peek to make sure Josh was really gone. 
You exhaled loudly, not even aware that you were holding it in all this time. You let the blanket fall onto the chair before walking over to your large window that pointed towards where Josh had parked. 
You knew you should’ve walked him down after everything he had done for your project but the least you could do now was to make sure he left the complex in one piece. After a few minutes of patiently looking out the window, you saw Josh’s car pull out of the long driveway and headed down towards the front gate. 
Your mind instantly traveled back to Peter as you checked your phone again but this time you went back to your messages and looked at all of the unread messages you had left for him. 
5:12pm || Y/N: update me when you get to your post! 
5:29pm || Y/N: oh don’t swing and text loser!!!!
6:01pm || Y/N: you there yet? 
6:36pm || Y/N: don’t make me spam text u nerd
6:57pm || Y/N: im gonna just pretend you’re too busy to txt me back-be safe!
7:40pm || Y/N: helloooo?!?! Is everything okay
8:00pm || Y/N: i will leak your identity fool txt me back 
8:40pm || Y/N: whatever idc anymore
8:44pm || Y/N: still haven’t heard back from you, you dead? 
9:06pm || Y/N: ur freaking me out dude, any updates? 
9:33pm || Y/N: there was a fire near the museum are you okay?!?! The news said you were there 
9:35pm || Y/N: peter????
9:50pm || Y/N: call me im worried
10:02pm || Y/N: ur scaring me pls respond 
You cursed under your breath as you pressed the call button and placed it to your ear. After a few rings, Peter’s voicemail came on and you didn’t even bother to listen to it all the way. You had already left so many voicemails and at this point, there was nothing you could do but wait for him. 
You were filled with dread as you scooted back into your bed and refreshed the news pages on your phone. 
Spiderman Stops an Armed Gunman Outside Plaza
You knew that it wasn’t healthy for you to keep scrolling online but you needed to know if Peter was safe. You hated the feeling of not being kept into the loop and Peter wasn’t the type to completely ignore text messages unless that meant he was in real trouble, what could you do to help him, you don’t have any powers you’re just a teenager-
You took a deep breath in as you shut your phone off and stared up at the ceiling to clear your head. 
Peter is smart. He’s fast. He will be fine. You kept repeating it over and over again like a lullaby and with some luck, you could feel your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second with Peter being the last thing you thought before falling into a deep sleep. 
You held your hand over your mouth to try and stop the sobs that rocked your body from underneath the bed. You could hear your dad begging, pleading to spare his wife before the sound of a gunshot went off. 
It was louder than you remembered almost as if the sky let out a roaring thunder that shook the whole house. You could hear your dad struggling with the gunman before another shot rang out, this time even louder. 
The glowing stars that were stuck to your ceiling shook off once your bedroom door had slammed opened and you prayed silently, wanting the nightmare to end. 
You did your best to be quiet as you watched his feet walk slowly to the bed, almost at a teasing pace like he knew you were underneath there. Everytime the nightmare played in your head, the attacker took on a different appearance. Sometimes it was someone you knew, other times it was just a passing face on the street. 
But everytime you had this nightmare, one thing never changed. The shoes, black sneakers with white laces and depending on how terrible the nightmare decided to be, you could spot the splatter of blood against the heels. 
You watched as the man walked behind your bed and you let out a scream as you felt his hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you roughly against the carpet. As you scratched at the attackers face, your sob got caught in the middle of your throat. 
The attacker always took a different appearance and this time, it was Peter. 
You kicked and screamed as hard as you could as he tried to pin you down, his weapon pressed into the side of your rib as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew it was a dream and you were so used to letting it ride out or until you fell out of bed but with Peter staring at you as he dangled your life between his fingers, all you wanted to do was wake up. 
All you could do was continue to fight back through your tears as he kept saying your name, taunting you. 
“ Let go of me!”
“ Y/N! I got you!” 
“ It’s me Peter!” 
“Y/N!” 
You shot up from out of your bed, almost knocking heads with another figure as you let out a choked sob. You didn’t realize your fists were still swinging until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your body, cradling you. 
The memory of the attacker was still so vivid in your head and all you wanted to do was get away,“ Let me go!” You screamed as you struggled against their grip as they held you even tighter,” get off of me!” 
“ Y/N! Y/N! It’s me! It’s me! You’re okay!” Peter shouted as he let his grip go before cupping his hands on either side of your face,” open your eyes! Hey! It’s me, you’re okay!” 
You squirmed from his lap as you opened your eyes to see Peter in front of you, the actual Peter. As relieved as you were, you felt your chest tighten as you continued to cry and without a second thought, you leaned into Peter’s chest and buried your wet face into his t-shirt. 
Peter held you tighter as he rested one hand against the back of your head and the other was snaked around your waist. He smoothed down your hair as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm you down,” It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here, I got you.” 
You hadn’t felt so relieved to see anyone until now and as you tried to control your cries, you felt yourself slowly transitioning back into reality. You inhaled his scent as you dug your face into his neck and you never thought a smell could bring you so much peace. 
Relief wasn’t even what you were feeling, it was more than that. You couldn’t put it into words and it was heavier than the idea of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Release. To sob into someone’s embrace where you knew you would be safe no matter what felt heavenly and with every sob you let out, you felt yourself separate from the nightmare altogether. 
Peter had to hold back his own tears as he held you and slowly rocked your body back and forth like a baby. He wasn’t sure if it was comforting you but it definitely put Peter at ease. 
Just minutes ago, he had just checked on you to see if you were still awake and once he saw that you were sleeping, he went back to his room to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until he was putting on his pajamas when the hair on his arm stood up seconds before you actually let out a scream only he could sense. 
Peter literally scrambled to your room and had his web-shooters ready because from what he could hear, he thought someone was attacking you. It wasn’t until he saw that you were having a nightmare that he quickly threw his web-shooters to the side and tried to wake you up. 
It was one thing to be in love with someone and to go through the motions as if it was a normal occasion but this was different. Seeing you so vulnerable and completely terrified utterly broke Peter in half and he knew for sure that it wasn’t all because of the lovedust. 
“ You’re safe Y/N, you’re okay.” 
“ Don’t worry I got you.” 
“ Just breathe for me, okay?” 
For what seemed like forever, Peter cradled you and whispered into your ear to let you know that you were okay and that he was there for you. He wanted you to tell him everything about the nightmare and what had triggered it but he knew that it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare with the occasional boogeyman. 
You thought back to your nightmare one last time as you pictured a hazy Peter attacking you and it almost sent you into another panic attack. Peter could feel how tense you got and his grip loosened so he could look back at you. 
Your eyes were puffy from crying so much and your cheeks were flushed red but Peter thought you were absolutely beautiful. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, there was so much to say yet so little at the same time. 
“ Thank you,” You whispered ever so softly as you craned your neck up and pressed a soft kiss against Peter’s cheek. 
You both knew that it wasn’t an ordinary thank you but for Peter, he didn’t need to analyze it any further. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Peter’s heartbeat that rang throughout his body. 
From pure exhaustion of crying and anxiety, you felt even more tired than before and Peter could feel you slipping back to sleep. He didn’t want to let you go, if he could, he would hold you in his arms forever if it meant keeping you safe and sound. 
Once Peter heard your soft snores, he held you for a second longer before carefully laying you back down into your bed. Like second nature, Peter pulled the covers back over your body and tucked a strand of hair that was danging in the middle of your face behind your ear. 
Peter ignored the sore feeling that was lingering in his back and forearms from holding you up and lightly dragged his fingers across his own cheek. He was way into deep now. 
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offical-ranter · 2 years ago
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SPOILERS FOR MS. MARVEL
ok guys i expected this show to be pretty average.. nope. it was great. just 1 episode in and its already one of my favorite marvel shows. heres a bit of my thoughts on it -its so cool to see more representation. im not Muslim or Pakistani so i cant say anything about those aspects (tho im sure u could find stuff about it online from those more knowledgeable) other than its great to see other cultures and languages in a production like this. and like MoonKight they had what i assume to be cultural music, which was also rlly cool -ITS SO RELATABLE! LIKE SKDFJSGS;, i dont have the words. the fact that she daydreams all day about being a superhero, doodles during class, is a literal fangirl, and has parents who doesnt understand what she likes, is. so. relatable. this is the most ive ever seen myself in a marvel character, which is kinda the point of the show. but still. i was watching her talk about making her cosplay and looking at fanart and its just, i do those things. i have marvel shirts and dream about going to cons. the amount of, just feeling, i felt when her mom completely shut down her plan to go to AvengerCon is just, immense. like wow, so many ppls parents judge their kids for the things they like. the scene where Kamala tried to put something around her hips after her mom told her the outfit was too skimpy or tight (without even seeing it i might add) was something i just immediately felt. she didnt even need to monologue about why she felt the need to do it, i could instantly understand based on her action and expression. i cant put into words how this feels like a show that just gets us -her friendship with Bruno (im still not over that song why would u do this to me Disney). its so accurate to how friendship is and its so wholesome to watch. Kamala feeling out of place in school and being quite to meeting with Bruno and talking about the con? thats great, thats the friendships i wanna see. there was no romance, tho there may be based on the look they shared on the roof, but im surprisingly open to it. i usually never like romance in action based shows but they understand each other so well. their struggles and dreams, like even if their love is just platonic its still there. and i love to watch it (not to mention its the literal perfect superhero partner dynamic, the one who fights and the one in the chair) -the directing. ive had a lot of problems with Disney directing as of late (cough cough Boba Fett) but marvel shows have always been fine. WandaVision was rlly unique in its idea, so was Hawkeye, but none have stood out in just plain directing so far. until this. theres no weird shaky camera for no reason, no weird up close face shots (im looking at u The Falcon and the Winter Soldier), nothing like that. just good camera work and going 100% with the theme. the drawings coming to life on the walls and their texts becoming signs and Kamala's planning being animated/drawn. its like spider-verse and i love it. it seems so true to her character and the vibe of the show. reminds me of a movie i think exists where some guy in high school has the ability to make the things he draws real, but im not sure if i just made that up lol -references. some ppl call them easter eggs but either way their great. like me tell u i was screaming whenever i saw something from the greater mcu. even before the show started i noticed how MoonKight is now in the intro logo. there was a lot but some things i remember r the og captain america song at the con, the drawing mentioning his ass, also at the con, the trust a bro truck and original ms. marvel design as art during the end credits. im sure there was more and im kinda disappointed im not remembering them after just watching it -the mysteries. whyd the bracelet (idk if thats what its called but for now bracelet) give her powers? who r the ppl in the end scene (i dont think any other marvel show has had an end scene first ep)? will her old friend refriend her? OMG SHE STILL HAS THE POWER TO EXTEND HER LIMBS?? BUT NOW ITS LIKE CRYSTALS???
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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years ago
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waitwait so ive been thinking of these ships (both platonic and romantic) for a little while and...
keefe/marella and keefe/dex/biana???
for keefe/marella:
i feel like they'd vibe with each other. they're both dealing with things intricately tied with their identity but still out of their control (marella's pyrokinesis and keefe's legacy) and i feel like they might find some common ground in that.
and marella is very observant, and very reeled-in, but she tells it like it is and if keefe is off getting extremely reckless ideas (like running away again) she wouldnt hesitate to call him out on it, and to sit him down and work with it. and keefe is a very easy-going person to most people, and he wouldnt judge marella for her ability or for her mom's accident. they would be good for each other, i think.
and another weird thing they have in common is that they've both been personally mentored by fintan, which i feel like is something most others wouldnt understand and something else they could bond over (it's all about the complicated relationships with authority figures, huh)
for keefe/dex/biana:
i just think they're neat.
- pyro
(also, yes, i am aware, how dare i put marella in a straight ship. (not directed at you quil specifically more so just. yeah))
hello pyro!! it's super cool to see we were on about the same page with some of the keefe/marella reasoning, as I intentinoally didn't read fully through this one before answering the other (I didn't want to influence my answer and just repeat what I'd read from you). yet we ended up with similar ideas!
for keefe/marella:
I know they're both seen in canon and fanon as these loud, boisterous, feisty personalities, but I think any relationship between the two of them would be the calm, quiet, understanding kind. the way Marella was reserved when talking about her mom feels more defensive than offensive when it comes to her personal life and problems, similar to how Keefe avoids talking about himself by literally not talking by shifting the attention to another (usually back to Sophie). I think they'd have a relationship that was very respectful of each others' boundaries, the kind where your partner sees you struggling and if you ask them not to pry then they'll leave you alone about it (as opposed to comforting your partner about it and giving it attention, which is also a valid way to deal with things).
and yes!! Marella is observant and we should pay attention to that more! She didn't just accidentally learn all the gossip in the Elvin world at the tender age of 11/12. she knows things and has opinions on them and isn't afraid to share them upfront--she told Sophie to her face as soon as they met that she didn't like girls and why, to use as one example. Keefe, on the other hand, isn't dense, but he's more of a stubborn, this is the only way I can do things kind of person--tunnel-vision, so I could see them balancing each other out. Keefe has the focus and narrows things down, but Marella makes sure it isn't too extreme and that other options are given the attention they deserve.
oo I hadn't even remembered the Fintan thing. Despite Keefe not being a pyrokinetic, I'm positive there are elements of his mentoring style that can be applied to both of them. Also just the experience of having close, one-on-one (or nearly one-on-one) contact with someone with such an awful reputation. Of working with someone you hate and playing nice for the sake of knowledge, possibly compromising your own values for a gain that others might not see as worth it. Neither of them really wanted to, but were put in a situation where they didn't really have a choice. Keefe could've left the Neverseen, yes, but that was more complicated and risky than dealing with those lessons. Marella didn't have to agree to the training, but she had to make the hard decision and realization that she could easily loose control and that there was literally no one else she could turn to.
I think that's a recurring theme for the both of them: not really having choices in their life, just the illusion of them. We can come up with a million different options for either of them, but the fact of the matter is hardly any of them are gonna be better, more feasible, or something they'd actually do.
for keefe/dex/biana:
There's so many elements to this!! I'll just briefly touch on a few because your ask was mostly about the previous ship.
Keefe and Biana have that element of childhood friends and knowing each other for so much longer than most of the others. They watched each other grow up and manifest and knew each other before everything went downhill. I think they could have that bittersweet feeling of connecting over the past to build a better future.
Dex and Keefe have this positivity that i've talked about before, just this enthusiastic support for each other. Keefe loves Dex's ability and the things he can create, and he himself has said that they'd make a great pair, and unstoppable due capable of causing mass chaos. And Dex doesn't really have anyone else that casually supportive of him--it different from his parents (specifically his dad) who saw it as evidence that Dex was amazing and used it to shove it in the faces of the people who'd doubted him. Not that that's bad, it's just different. And Keefe has a whole hot of drama and discomfort going on with Fitz and Tam, so it's nice to think of him with someone without a bunch of complicated history and just like a friends to lovers arc.
and then there's Dex and Biana, two people who are historically invisible to the rest of their group, working from the background yet playing essential roles. I don't know if I've talked about them before but I think they could really vibe well together. They're both siblings (in different directions but similar nonetheless) and had to force themselves to be included. they're also both in Team Valiant, which could be an opportunity to bond. One thing I keep thinking is that Dex being around Biana more often might boost his confidence, just seeing the way she carries herself, but I don't want to get distracted with that.
overall: these are both excellent ships!! there's so much to them to explore and I think the connections you've made are really cool, so thank you for letting me add my own thoughts and opinions!!
also I think it's funny how I said id be brief and then wrote three more paragraphs
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icharchivist · 3 years ago
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cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)
and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)
anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)
also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)
that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)
to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)
anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)
now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)
some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)
i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!
OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c
tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.
I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.
The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.
On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)
ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c
So glad you were invested in that conflict!
Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.
But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.
both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.
admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event
i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!
It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself
I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.
Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?
The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.
And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.
I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!
And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.
Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.
So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.
Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.
So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.
ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!
DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....
AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?
The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?
but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D
oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)
DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha
And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.
Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.
thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c
Take care!
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marauder-exe · 5 years ago
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Christmas break- Fred Weasley x Reader
Request: 84 & 92 from the 2nd prompt list with Fred Weasley
Prompts: 84. “No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”
92.”I love you in every possible way.”
Word Count: 2k
a/n: The confession scene under the stars was inspired by a fic I read a while ago where Fred proposes under the stars near the burrow! Although I cant remember the name:/
also i’d love some feedback if you guys don’t mind, you can drop it in my asks or inbox or whatever, i feel like my writing is getting a little repetitive
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During Christmas break you had arranged to stay over at the Burrow with the Weasleys. Your family had decided to go on a cruise for your parents anniversary, so Mrs. Weasley gladly took you in for the break. You hadn't told Fred though, you wanted to surprise him. It was actually surprising he hasn't noticed you where keeping it a secret from him. He usually figured out your secrets within 0.2 seconds, having been best friends for the last 5 years, it wast really a surprise. So, just before your parents left for their cruise, they had driven you to Ottery St. Catchpole. Being muggle-born, they where very wary of you using magic.
So, as you pulled up to the burrow, you gave your parents a hug and a quick kiss, saying goodbye. You where far too excited to spend your Christmas break here. You had spent the previous night imagining all the scenarios that could happen over the next few weeks. It made you sad to be honest, knowing that they most likely wouldn't happen. But you could hope. You hurriedly knocked on the Weasleys door, waving a final goodbye as your parents got into the car.
Inside the burrow, Mrs Weasley was cleaning up from cooking, her family sat at the table eating, when she heard the knock on the door, she could only assume was you.
“Aww, Fred get the door please, im busy” Mrs Weasley huffed while all his siblings giggled at the table. Did he miss something? He gave his twin a confused look but brushed it off.
“Who is it, we aren't expecting anyone?” He wondered aloud.
“(Y/N)” She stated promptly, throwing a smile at him, preparing for what he would say next.
“WHAT!” He jumped from his seat. The last thing he wanted was to spend his Christmas break with her. Not in a mean way, he loved her and all but that was the problem. He was in love with her. He usually spent his Christmas fantasizing about what it would be like to be in a relationship with her, love her wholly and fully, have a life with her. He was excited, obviously to spend his Christmas with her, but Christmas meant gifts, then he had to get a gift that conveys ‘Ive been secretly in love with you since the day I lay eyes on you but I don't want to tell you in case I ruin our relationship so im going to wait for any smidgen of a hint that you like me, so I don't screw anything up and if that doesn't come then ill wait it out till you get a boyfriend, then ill cry and eat chocolate with George and try to get over it’ vibes, which was hard.
George interrupted his panicked thoughts. “Yeah! Mum invited her over to tell her all about how you drool all over her and daydream about herrrrr ”
“And how her eyes are so god damn dreamy” Ron and Harry had joined in and soon the whole table was reciting Fred's love lines.
“No! Mum don't tell her I said that about her!” He insisted. This had been going on for around 5 minutes while you where still stood outside, so you gave another quick knock on the door, as it was snowing and bloody freezing.
“Get the door!”
“Yeah, don't want to keep the love of your life waiting” Ron said dreamily, but Fred just threw a bread roll at him. He trudged towards the door, conflicted emotions but heart beating with excitement. He opened the door, there you stood, beanie on, snowflakes in your hair, basking in the moonlight, more beautiful than he had ever seen you. He was snapped from his trance by you, enthusiastically throwing your arms around him.
“Freddie! Surprise!” You hugged him and held tightly, having missed him.
“Blimey” He stumbled back from the force of your hug, but grabbed you protectively. “Its only been a week, you missed me that much?” He was right, your break from Hogwarts came about two weeks before Christmas, meaning one week to go. You subconsciously glanced at your case, wondering if he'd like your present.
“Of course I have Freddie! Couldn't live without my partner in crime!” She stated enthusiastically before they heard George shout from the kitchen. “What about me?!” You two laughed it off. You walked into the kitchen, Fred offering to carry your bags.
“How are my favourite gingers doing, and of course Harry?” They cheered as you walked into the kitchen, they all hugged you one by one, and you thanked Mrs Weasley profusely, but she just brushed it off.
“You'll be in the twins room” She smiled, Ron quietly wolf whistled in the background, causing Harry to laugh and Ginny to smack him on the shoulder, hiding a small smile. Fred nudged you.
“Wanna put your stuff upstairs?” He questioned and you nodded, he grabbed your stuff and started heading upstairs, with whoops and cheers behind you from the boys, while Mrs Weasley tried to calm them down.
When you where close to his room you asked the question that had been on your mind. “What was all the cheering about when they mentioned me sleeping in your room?” You questioned innocently.
“uh...” Fred felt a blush creeping up his neck. “its just, they know we’ll be sleeping in the bed, and you know how boys are”
It had never occurred to you that you'd be sleeping in the same bed, the thought made your heart speed up, you assumed you'd be sleeping on the floor.
“Unless of course you don't want to share a bed, id be fine sleeping on the floor” He said smiling.
“Don't be silly, of course we can sleep in the same bed, come on!” You raced him to the top of the stairs, both laughing like crazy.
The next week leading up to Christmas went crazily quickly. And the first night sleeping in Fred's bed with him was possibly a Christmas miracle, at least that's what it felt like. You guys where cuddled up, obviously George had given you the ‘no shagging while im asleep next to you two’ talk. But honestly, it felt right, being there with him. You tried to convince yourselves you where just friends, but that was never the case.
And so the day of Christmas came, and the entire Weasley family and their guests where so excited. Molly had helped Fred pick out something he knew you'd love. So the crackers where opened and candy canes eaten, and it was time to open the presents, you and Fred had waited last to give yours to each other. After everyone had finished giving gifts, they turned to you two expectantly. You ran to your suitcase, gently picking up the box, and Fred went to get his present. You'd returned to the living room, adorned In your own honorary Weasley jumper, clutching the present.
“Ill give yours first?” You asked, he nodded and you handed over the present. He carefully unwrapped it, savouring every moment. He flipped open the lid, and stared at the glinting ring.
“See, its a ring, but it has the first words you ever said to me on it” You giggled, the ring had the first words he had said to you on that train in first year. ‘Blimey, your gorgeous. Wait, what?’ The Weasleys laughed at the fond memory, and Mrs Weasley recalled all the letters she received that year, about the pretty Gryffindor that he was enchanted by.
“(Y/N), i-” He was honestly speechless.
“Oh and also!” She bounced excitedly “Its charmed to show a different picture of us and glows every time you think of mwah!” She giggled and mockingly flipped her hair. God she was perfect. He hugged her, tighter than he'd ever hugged her before. He whispered a quiet ‘thank you’ in your ear, you kissed his cheek and giggled, adding an ‘of course Freddie’. They pulled away and it was Fred's turn to give you his gift. Mr and Mrs Weasley where already tearing up at the scene in front them. Fred delicately handed you a similar box, you slowly ripped away the gold wrapping. Flipping the lid of the white box, sat a ring similar to the one you gave him, but as well as gold it had a purple stripe (your favourite colour) and a green stripe (his favourite colour). You stared at it, it was so beautiful.
“Its a promise ring” He began to explain. “i promise to always be...” He paused, breath hitched in his throat. Your faces where astonishingly close. “Your best friend” He breathed out. It honestly felt like a dagger in the chest, for both of you. You stared into each others eyes, desperately waiting, wanting, willing something to happen. Until you snapped away at the sound of Ron couching and Mrs Weasley shouting everyone for dinner.
Later that night, after dinner and the sun set, You and Fred had decided to go and watch the stars. A comforting act in itself but felt suddenly romantic with Fred. You two lay on a hill at the back of the burrow. Your head on his arm, cuddled up into him. You pointed out a star, Sirius.
“See that one?” You pointed towards the brightest star in the sky. Fred reached past your hand and pointed somewhere in the sky, that was definitely not where you where pointing.
“That one?”
You grabbed his wrist and moved to point it at the star. “See, Sirius, my uncles named after that star, ya know. Isn't it beautiful?” You questioned but Fred wasn't listening any more. Any thoughts of the stars had been discarded, he was only looking at you.
“Yeah, yeah it is beautiful” A small smile lit up his face as he stared at you in the moonlight.
You giggled as you saw Fred's ring glow brighter than any star in the sky. “Freddie, you rings glowi-” You turned to look at him but he was already staring. “What's up?” You questioned, a concerned look on your face.
“i love you in every possible way” He was still staring, a peaceful glint in his eye. Your heart stopped, your breath hitched. What did he just say? You sat up on your elbows and turned to look at him.
“What-” you whispered quietly.
“i love you (Y/N)” He matched your position on his elbows. “Ive loved you since that day I stepped foot into your carriage on the train and accidentally called you gorgeous. Ive loved you since you stood up against that Slytherin in second year. Ive loved you since you played that prank on Snape in third year. Ive loved you since you gave Hermione advice about her crush on Draco in 4th year. I love you under the sun and under the stars, in the Burrow or in Hogwarts or anywhere. I love you now and ill love you forever. I don't care if it ruins our friendship any more because I want you and only you.” You where brought to tears by his speech, and so where all the Weasleys who where watching from the kitchen windows. You threw your arms around him and kissed him. Pouring all the tears and bottled up feelings into the kiss.
“Of course I love you back Freddie, you idiot!” You jumped on top of him and he began giggling, you burst out in a fit of giggles. Mr. and Mrs Weasley watched from the kitchen, knowing his son had finally found the one. That was the most magical and memorable Christmas of your life.
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aros001 · 3 years ago
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Read through light novel vol. 15. Random thoughts.
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Well, I just found one of my favorite volumes of this series. For all the right and wrong reasons.
There is a certain trope or term I've heard of for comedy. Where a joke or skit can be really funny but can also go a little too far with the performance to where it can be a little annoying. But there are also plenty of times where the joke/skit takes it even FURTHER than that and it circles back around to being funny again. Naofumi with Raph-chan is a little like that. His love for the little furball was cute and funny at first, then it became a little odd and maybe a little cringey, and now it's gone to such an extreme that it's circled back to funny again, with the Shield hero now commanding a legion of Raph-chans. Also, Naofumi and Ruft bonding over Raph-chan is genuinely really sweet. Between that, how much he clings to Naofumi (or Raph-chan) when he's scared, and just the liking he's taken to the kid, I think Naofumi has definitely found his son figure. Honestly their relationship feels a little more parent and child than even Naofumi and child Raphtalia's was and it took me a bit before I figured out why that was, at least for me.
Naofumi was very parental to Raphtalia and does still somewhat think of her as his daughter. However, when they first met it was also a situation where Raphtalia had to grow up very quickly, and not just physically through leveling. She was bought as a slave and didn't want to go back to the trader. She wanted to fight back against the things that took her family and village from her. She wanted to be Naofumi's sword. She was the sole reason he could gain any significant experience and level up into the Shield Hero he needed to be. The romantic feelings she gained for him were almost certainly a factor but overall, for her sake and his, staying a child, staying as someone's daughter, was not an option. What Naofumi needed wasn't a daughter but a partner. Someone he could lean on and trust.
With Ruft, there is no need for him to grow up quite yet. Yes, Naofumi took him to the village so he could get some experience with the real world and he does plan on toughening him up, but Naofumi is not dependent on Ruft like he was Raphtalia. There's no pressure for Ruft to grow up because Naofumi and everyone else will be fine regardless, so he has more freedom to be a kid. And unlike Filo and the village kids, he doesn't have the added complication of also being Naofumi's slave. Naofumi can treat him and care for him like a kid.
Side note, but is it weird that, even though I know he's related to Raphtalia, before I finally was given an image of him I kept on imagining Ruft looking like Gohan from the very beginning of Dragon Ball Z? Chinese Emperor clothes and all. It feels a little unintentionally racist of me given that Q'ten Lo is meant to resemble isolationist period Japan.
“The Bow Hero mentioned that he has a skill which allows him to scout out the surrounding area from a higher vantage point,” Raphtalia recalled. Itsuki said that? I mean, he was the Bow Hero. It wouldn’t be strange for him to have a skill that allowed him to search for distant targets. That sounded like quite a convenient skill too.
I'm glad about this little detail. I was just saying in the last volume that it felt like the other three heroes didn't seem to have any abilities that weren't directly attack-based. And then later with the hero conference we get even more added to their arsenals beyond just "attack, big attack, and bigger attack" like they'd been showing up until now. Before it felt like the other three could be a bit interchangeable in battle with Naofumi, as it's three attackers and one defender, with range being the only difference. But now, between the four of them, it's a good mix of attack, defense, support, healing, and debuffs. The Four Holy Heroes actually work as a party together.
“R-Raphtalia. Brother. I just want to go and see Master Naofumi! Move aside,” Atla stated.
“No,” Raphtalia replied.
“Never,” replied her brother.
“Raph!” barked a horde of Raphs.
I can hear the freaking echo! I'm dying!
“To be more accurate, they are filolials who act like mountain bandits, attacking wagons carrying off goods and stuff like that,” Melty continued.
...
“Hold on a moment. What the hell is going on then? And—” I finished my thought in my head. If this was the issue that Fitoria wanted help with, then . . . “You’re telling me filolials fight over wagons?”
“Yes. That’s what I’ve been told,” Melty confirmed. Uwah! So she wanted me to resolve some kind of turf war? If these were wild filolials, they weren’t going to go down without a fight.
“The loser has to give their wagon to the winner,” Melty explained. “Also, if it’s the season of love, they can only find love by defeating their opponent.” What were they, hermit crabs?
This is going exactly where I think it's going, isn't it?
[Two chapters later]
“It’s been a while, father-in-law. It’s me, I say, Motoyasu the street racer!”
F******************************************K!
I get Motoyasu is under the effect of his curse series but...it's just so hard to like this guy. It was even before Witch betrayed him and his curse activated. Especially when he uses his Temptation ability to "show Filo his love", basically trying to force her into loving him. Thank goodness it didn't work and that Raph-chan can clear away the effects it did have. Naofumi could stand to be more considerate of Raphtalia when it comes to the Raphs but Motoyasu has been straight up harassing Filo. He tried to keep her trapped in her "angel" form when rescuing her from Naofumi's "brainwashing" and probably was going to keep her that way forever if Witch didn't have her "accidentally" killed along with Melty when removing the brainwashing. I'm pretty sure she was the main person he wanted to peep on in the baths at Cal Mira. He stole her favorite wagon and transformed it into...that. And then there's the shape of...
No...
No!
I'd heard a rumor but...
NO!
I thought it was a web novel thing!
WHY DOES MOTOYASU HAVE A DILDO SPEAR?!?!
Or...god, what if it's not a dildo?!
“I’m taking your daughter. Using my Lust Envy Spear IV,” Motoyasu exclaimed. God. This was all depressing me intently.
“Filo-tan! I will stop you and take your purity!” Motoyasu thrust his spear at Filo.
“Boo!” She wasn’t interested. Then I noticed what he was pointing at. Below the waist, shall we say.
....................Kill him. Kill him. F**king kill him. I don't care about the consequences to the world. Kill him. Kill him now. Have Aura and Mare come over from Overlord and Iris come over from Konosuba. They'll all team up with Filo so that the lolis he loves so much can snap his f**king neck.
I get he's under the effects of a curse (two curses even; lust and envy) but he's almost everything he and Witch accused Naofumi of being. He's brainwashing people and an attempted rapist. All he's missing is abusing his slaves and kidnapping Melty.
...F**k. Okay, back to reality.
So Quirks exist in Itsuki's universe? Last volume I made a comparison between Motoyasu #2 and Bakugo from My Hero Academia because they fit similar tropes for me, but in terms of actual backstory and character, Itsuki is definitely the better comparison. Thought he was special in elementary school because of his powers but got slapped with a bit of reality upon entering the special school for powers. For both of them, this fed into an inferiority complex. It does also add more to Itsuki's hero complex. Bakugo's Quirk and natural talents had him overpraised from youth, leading him to fear the failure of living up to expectations of him. For Itsuki, it goes a little the other way, where his expectations for himself were high, got shattered because the powers above his level were much greater and thus nothing was expected to become of him in comparison, and so he fell into console games where he could be important and the main character for once.
None of this forgives how he treated Rishia but I'd still rather have this understanding and explanation of his character than not. He and Trash have a slightly similar problem for me, and it's not the story's fault. Itsuki's curse has left him pretty fried and emotionless, though it's slowly coming back to him. He hasn't really had a chance to redeem himself. He's working to better himself, yes, but he's also in a state where he'll do everything he's told. He had a nice, split-second apology to Rishia he managed to get out but that's about it. Similarly with Trash, he and Itsuki have sympathetic backstories but he is so lost in his hatred the Shield Hero, Siltvelt, and a few other things that he has not taken responsibility or shown remorse for any of the things that had happened because of him, including his youngest daughter nearly being killed multiple times. Before he was half-crazy and now after meeting Alta and Fohl he just seems withered away and beaten. Trash and Itsuki's situations are sympathetic but they've yet to do anything that puts me on their side beyond basic human empathy and pity.
Compare that to Ren, whom I'm glad I quite like now. He never did anything as bad as Trash or Itsuki, nor does he have as tragic a backstory as either (that's been told to us yet anyway), but he still felt remorse for the bad things he did do and has actively worked to try and make up for them or make certain they don't happen again, because he knows he screwed up. I'm not just supposed to pity him. Like with Naofumi, I'm supposed to see him rise and he does, at several points in this volume being very helpful to very heroic. And I like how he and Naofumi contrast with each other without completely butting heads like stubborn bulls, like over the bandits for justice. They're both heroes but Ren is working hard to be a real hero to make up for the lack of one he was before, while Naofumi outright sees himself as a bad person, that all his good deeds are for selfish motivations and that he's not deserving of being hailed as a hero to begin with.
Well, I think that was all I was going to talk about. Yes sir.
...
.......
.................
.....................
..............................Alta on the cover. Alta on the inner art and quote page. Most of this book being about Fohl's fear over Alta's safety. There were so many red flags you'd think the Phoenix's explosion broke the fourth wall and set fire to the pages themselves.
Yeah, this death was better than Ost's. Ost's death still worked despite her short time with Naofumi's party because there was still emotion during that time and she still is often referenced, remembered, and mourned for even in volumes well after her death, so it feels less cheap and manipulative and more like it actually meant something. With Alta though, it's not just better just because we knew her longer (though that's certainly a factor) but because of the effect on the main characters, especially Naofumi. The raw pain, the denial, the begging, the self-blame, the sheer seething anger, the emptiness. Even the way it's written when she first jumps in the way and after the attack finally ends, it feels like the aftermath of a grenade. Everything is blurred and shaky, everything is silenced except for the ringing in his ears and its not entirely clear what's going on, only that something bad just happened. Naofumi runs through every emotion you'd want from someone like him and it has an even more personal meaning than that. Alta sacrificing herself for him gave Naofumi a bit of a hard slap in the face as to what everyone he cares about would feel if he sacrificed himself for them, which he's tried doing a few time already. It was a very good send-off for Alta.
This was also both the best and worst time for Naofumi to finally be told outright that Raphtalia loves him. Looking forward to either loving or being very frustrated with where this goes. Though regardless, that final art of them just hugging and crying it out is going to hold a special place in my heart.
Trash was apparently the Seven Star Staff Hero. I’d never seen him holding the staff and honestly wondered if the original king was dead and this was just a doppelganger.
Just where was he hiding the Seven Star Staff?
After the dildo spear, please don't ask me to imagine where Trash hides his staff.
Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/shieldbro/comments/fndipx/read_through_light_novel_vol_15_random_thoughts/
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elianamarie-blog · 4 years ago
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Hey bestie! could i get a ship for that 70s show?
i’m a 5’6 nonbinary (she/they) with short hair and curtain bangs my hair colour is done to look like narcissa malfoys (dark brown with platinum blonde on the underside). I have blue/grey eyes.
i’m an INFP, Ravenclaw, and a Taurus. My hobbies are making music, and playing pranks on my sister lol. I love marvel, harry potter, and criminal minds.
ive been told i’m very cocky and my ego is through the roof. I’d consider myself a very kind person who’s easy to talk to. i like to joke around a lot with my friends and sarcasm is my first language,
My aesthetic conveniently is very 70s/vintage, and my music taste is also a lot of throwbacks.
what i want to do when i’m older is forensic psychology!
hope you get to mine but if not that’s fine! Love your writing!
-M
Thank you bestie! You sound like an amazing, interesting person! (And gorgeous too) I got you! And thank you SO much for reading my content. You, are amazing <3 
Who’s Up For A Challenge?
Michael Kelso x reader
-Y/n L/n was new in town and found enjoyment in messing with the players of the town.
-She was known as “that chick”
-She was incredibly witty, sarcastic, cocky, but so kind and beautiful.
-She may have accidentally had a couple of good guys fall in love with her.
-She had to gently turn them down and that actually broke her heart.
-She loved a good challenge though.
-She was sitting in the Hub with her college lab partner, Donna, when the none other than himself, Michael Kelso, walked in.
-Y/n had heard about him.
-The infamous Michael Kelso. Playboy of Point Place.
-Donna called him over and as he sat down, he noticed her.
-Of course, he had to hit on her.
-When he asked her out, she, of course said yes.
- “Alright, I’ll be here to pick you up tonight.”
-Y/n smiled as he walked away.
-As Donna leaned in and started to warn Y/n about him, Y/n cut her off.
- “I know.”
- “You know?”
- “Yes. I’ve heard of this dillhole and I’ve got a plan.”
-Donna was intrigued as Y/n started unraveling her plan. 
- “I’m going to make him fall in love with me. Then I’m going to break his heart and make him feel what he makes every girl here feel.”
-Donna wasn’t so into it, but knew she couldn’t stop her.
-So, Y/n went through with the plan and met up with Kelso that night.
-He got her a burger from Fatso Burger and took her to Mt. Hump.
-He started kissing her neck and making out with her.
-She knew she was good at sex and everything else.
-But she refused to give it to him on the first date.
-She was a classy person after all.
-Kelso had set up a challenge to get in the sack.
-She already knew that though, because well duh.
-She ended up befriending Donna and Jackie over it.
-Jackie was thrilled and squealing.
- “Finally, he’s going to feel the hell that he put me through,” Jackie said.
- “You scare me,” Donna said. “Besides, you’re with Hyde now. It shouldn’t matter.”
- “Oh, whatever. Revenge is dish best served cold.”
- Y/n laughed and threw an arm over Jackie’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, girl. I got you. I’m going to drag him through the mud and then hang him out to dry.”
- “Oh, I love you!” Jackie squeaked and hugged Y/n tightly.
- “Okay, now you both scare me,” Donna said.
-Donna tried to warn Kelso, but of course he didn’t listen to her.
-He just took it as her being jealous that he wasn’t going to nail her.
-Even though she was back with Eric.
-Kelso this time took Y/n to a drive in and bought her the classic: popcorn and a coke.
-Y/n was down to date 2 out of 10.
-He started kissing her again, softer, gentler, but started getting handsy again.
-Y/n smacked his hand away multiple times before he finally up.
- “Well, damn, Y/n!” he cried out, shaking his hand. 
- “Keep your hands to yourself, lover boy,” she threatened.
- “Yeah, or what?” he challenged.
- “Trust me, you don’t want to challenge me.”
- “Maybe I do.”
- “Trust me, sweetie, you don’t. I can snap you in half.”
-His eyes lit up. “You must be hot in the sack!”
-Y/n couldn’t help but laugh. “Take me home, you jerk.”
- He chuckled. “Yes, dear.”
-When he dropped her off, she turned to him. “Pick me up Friday for dinner at 8pm.”
- Kelso nodded and smiled at her.
-Eric, Hyde, and Fez caught onto the challenge and decided to make it a bet.
-Hyde said Kelso would make a fool out of himself and end up being dumped.
-Eric said Kelso would actually score.
-Fez said he just wanted to be part of the action and said Y/n would win.
-Doesn’t mean Hyde didn’t try to sabotage the bet by giving Kelso wrong information.
-For example, he told him to pick up Y/n late instead of on time because it shows that he’s desperate and clingy.
-Which is what the idiot did.
-Y/n was NOT pleased.
-She made him buy her lobster and flowers.
-At the end of the night she ended up giving him a hot make out sesh, but left him to take care of himself.
-Date 3 out of 10 down.
-Now, Eric was trying to sabotage the bet by giving Kelso tips how to get laid.
-Which Kelso laughed at until Donna spoke up.
- “You got to invoke her mind, man,” Eric said. “People like her like to be intellectually challenged.”
- “Yeah right,” Michael scoffed.
- “No, Eric is actually right for once,” Donna said, bored. “Y/n isn’t like the other girls in this town. She actually has a brain.”
- “And some nice jugs,” Fez said earning a glare from the group.
- “Try talking to her about literature and psychology and music. She likes that kind of stuff. And leave out any kinds of ‘doing it.’ Intelligent people like her don’t like that.”
- “But I wanna do it.”
- “I know, but you got to make her think you want her mind, not her body.”
- “Yeah, that’s a good idea!” Kelso said and ran out the door to spontaneously surprised Y/n at her house with flowers and a...book.
- “Donna, what the hell are you doing?” Hyde asked.
- “I know, I’m such a bad friend to her,” Donna said. “I’m going to hell.”
- “No, not that. I’m trying to get her to dump him for being stupid. Don’t give the guy pointers!”
-Kelso showed up at Y/n’s door with a picnic basket, a blanket, flowers, and a gift.
-She was definitely surprised.
-He found the perfect spot under the tree and laid out the blanket. 
- “I got you something” he said and gave her a gift sloppily wrapped in paper. 
-She opened it up and it was a vintage psychology book from the late 1800′s.
-She was genuinely impressed. “Where did you find this?”
-Well, I heard you talking about your love of psychology and vintage things and found this at an antique store. Thought you’d might like it.”
-Her eyes actually filled with tears.
-Even thought it was their fourth date, she felt touched by the gift and allowed 2nd base.
-The next few dates ended going the same flow. 
-He’d take her out, hoping for sex, she would tease him and then leave him to take care of himself.
-By their 7th date, he was beginning to grow frustrated.
-So, far Fez was winning the bet.
-On the eighth date, Y/n introduced Michael to her parents.
-They were spectacle, but polite to him nonetheless.
-Eighth date consisted of the carnival.
-As the lights shown down on y/n’s beautiful face, he realized he might actually feelings for her.
-Y/n knew she started developing feelings for him after the fourth date, but she refused to say anything. It was just a reaction to the sweet gift.
-Even though she knew he had a kid with another woman, it didn’t stop her from feeling the way she did.
-He won her a stuffed elephant, a goldfish, and bought her a hotdog.
-Back in the car, they were making out again. “I think I really like you.”
-She smiled into the kiss. “I like you too, but you’re still not getting any.”
- “That’s okay,” he whispered, shocking both of them.
-He ended up panicking to the guys later on that night.
- “So? Just go bang the next chick you see. You did that to Jackie a lot when she didn’t want to sleep with you,” Hyde said.
- “That’s the problem. I can’t,” Kelso said and ran a hand through his hair. “I tried but every time I went to, I just couldn’t find myself to do it. They’re not her, man.”
-The guys gave him crap and started taunting him.
- “You love her!” Fez said and tried to make kissy faces with Eric.
- “Yeah, we don’t do that,” Eric said, pushing Fez’s face away from his.
- “What’re you going to do?” Hyde asked seriously.
- “Just...try to make her mine at this point.”
-On the ninth date, Y/n was freaking out.
-How could she have fallen for him?
-She’s never felt this way after messing with a guy like this.
-Why?
-Why?
-WHY?!
-Stupid, stupid, stupid--
-The doorbell rang.
-He stood there with a dozen red roses.
- “I got something special,” he said.
-He ended up taking her to the lake with a complete romantic dinner.
-Candles, wine, chocolates, and pasta that he had help from mom make.
-Y/n’s eyes pricked with tears.
-No one has ever done this for her before.
-Throughout the evening, he had actually engaged in intelligent conversation and opened up to her.
-He talked about his hopes and dreams, his fears, and his loves.
- “People don’t give you enough credit,” she said. “You have a lot going for you. You just don’t show this side to people. Why?”
- He shrugged. “It’s funnier this way. I don’t want them knowing this side of me, Then they’ll start...expecting stuff from me and I don’t want that pressure.”
- “Well, you’re secret is safe with me,” she said, taking a sip of wine.
- “Well, come on, you have a lot more going for you. You want to be a forensic psychologist. That’s awesome, whatever that is.”
-Y/n chuckled and explained it to him while he actually listened to her!
-She actually changed the playboy of the town!
-Y/n wasn’t sure if it was the wine, but she couldn’t take it anymore and brought him for a hasty kiss. “I want to go all the way with you tonight.”
-At this point, she didn’t care if he broke her heart, she just needed him before he could.
-The moment was actually beautiful.
-He was so gentle and and sweet, making sure she was actually okay with it.
-And it was the best sex either one of them ever had.
-As they laid down in the back of the car, they confessed they ended up confessing their feelings towards each other, including the plans they each had for each other.
- “I’ve never felt this way towards anyone before,” y/n said. “This really bit me in the ass this time.”
- “I’ve never felt this way before period,” he chuckled. “I guess it bit me in the ass too.”
- “Are we dumb for doing this?” she whispered.
- “Totally.”
-They laughed together and ended up doing it again the second time that night.
-On their tenth date, he took her to the carnival again, but he had something more special planned.
-He took her to the top of the Ferris wheel and when it got to the top, he grabbed her hand and nervously asked her if she’d officially be his.
-She grinned at him brightly and nodded yes.
- “Great, now I can give you this,” he said and took off his hoodie that he was wearing. “You’re my girl now and I want you to have it. It’s my favorite hoodie.”
-She kissed him deeply and put it on.
-She wore it everyday from then on.
-One day she was over at the Forman’s and while they were waiting for everyone to join them, they started making out on the couch.
-The door opened, revealing Hyde, Eric, and Fez.
- “DAMMIT!” Hyde shouted.
- Fez laughed. “Pay up!”
- “Wait,” Eric asked. “Did you guys do it yet?”
- Kelso smiled. “Totally.”
-Eric turned to Hyde with his palm turned upwards. “Pay up, bitch.”
- “What’s that not fair!” he bitched.
- “Oh, it totally is,” Fez laughed.
- “No, I’ll tell you what’s not fair. Michael didn’t get hurt like he was supposed to!” Jackie said.
- “No, he got something better,” Donna said. “True love! And someone to kick his ass into shape.”
- “A matchmade in Heaven,” Fez joked while Hyde handed him his cash. “Thank you Hyde.”
- “Yeah, shut up.”
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