#but its still weird and im feeling really weird about it but i keep making these like gallows humor jokes bc shdhsjdj

[enbysiriusblack]

rereading snape's worst memory:

severus is writing A LOT more than the other students around him, so like. he probably does try super hard in all his exams, but defence is clearly one of his favourites i think from this. like he's writing super small and still filling out a lot of the parchment, so he's got a lot to say about the subject, plus he's writing like really fast without stopping

if james is only a short distance away from severus and sirius is in the same row as james, does this mean exam tables aren't set up in alphabetical order? people just sit where they want or something? weird

james' hair is described as messy like 5 times by harry. i don't think we focus on that enough.

girl, pay attention to your exam. we get he's hot, but damn

remus, you're good at dada, stop worrying sm about it. u got this mate

peter having exam anxiety is soooo canon i swear. also i'm giggling at him trying to cheat

doodler!james >>>> also harry not clocking his own mum's initals is kinda sad

ooh guys, should i make stebbins (he's a guy who doesn't put down his quill and continues writing after the exam finishes so flitwick calls him out) florence's boyfriend?? should i actually give 'boyfriend' a name???

honestly, other than the weird seating plan, this is so accurate to gsce exams. like turning around just to do a face or hand gesture to your friend a few seats away when the teacher's not looking? someone always writing after they tell you to stop? laughing at the teacher? waiting for your friends to discuss the paper straight away? its so real

these guys are incapable of being serious. they are all so fucking sarcastic. i love it.

why's severus still enthralled in his exam for???? it's over mate, go fucking relax

unrequited prongstail is real (also james' nicking a snitch?? he's such a weirdo)

severus!! harry literally was describing you as super pale and like you never go in the sunlight.. and then you go and sit in the shade?? it's early summer in scotland, it's not gonna be that fucking hot.

poly marauders are canon? (they were just described as being a foursome)

handsome just keeps getting added to any description of sirius. might start doing this in my fics /j

this is making me realise how canonly accurate the personalities of the marauders are in my fic (i'm only cryptic and machiavellian), and i love that for me

yeah unrequited prongstail is def canon omfg.

"sirius was the only person for whom james would stop showing off". james doesn't need to show off for sirius, because he knows sirius will always be there for him and give him attention anyway aww

remus and james both trying to think up solutions as soon as sirius says he's bored?? i'm giggling.

peter must have been sooo dissapointed that sirius and james stopped hexing people as often... his fav entertainment. gone.

okay i swear i've read this like loads of times before but i never actually realised sirius 'barking with laughter' was how he canonly laughs, i always just write that to be funny, i didn't know it was canon

james constantly looking over at the girls by the lake. like mate, she didn't notice or care about you throwing a snitch in the air but i don't think bullying her friend is any better. like yeah it gets her attention but is that really the kind of attention you want?? oh, you'll take any attention you can get from her? okay, right, fine

peter edging... IM SORRY

"i was watching him" OKAY,, snirius enjoyers are eating today

*smugly grinning* i KNEW james' hair fidgeting thing was an anxious/nervous habit I TOLD YOU ALL

lily's hair is dark red!!! just in case anyone forgot!!

i love remus. disagree with your friend's actions? don't worry! u can always just pretend you're so enthralled in your book you don't even notice what they're doing! just look the other way and you're totally absolving yourself and your friends from any guilt!

i feel like james asked lily out only once before this. like in fourth year of maybe just a couple months before this, and like in a proper fairly private, giving her flowers, asking timidly (well as timid as he can be), and she responded in a fairly similar way to here. so james asking here, is like trying to resolve his own feelings of embarassment about the rejection ig?

lily smiling!!!! oh she's such a cunt i love her (ofc james and sirius are bigger cunts ofc!!!) like girl that's your damn friend getting 'pantsed'. although ig like. it was kinda a norm thing to like do it TO your own friends soo hmm. (btw i put 'pantsed' in brackets since it's not pantsing, like. the point is that severus isn't wearing pants, he's wearing robes. it's robesing...)

sirius and james are too wuss to duel lily <333 cause she'd thrash them <333 (they totally duelled her before and got their arses kicked)

oh severus... u suck so bad... just cause she found you getting robesed funny doesn't mean u should go call her slurs wtf man

go off lily okayyy. her insults/jokes hit harder than all of sirius' ngl (ily sirius you're still funny and got good insults i swear!!)

okay personally lily, i don't think someone who shows off and hexes people who annoy him (which is. maybe just in my opinion) majoritively people who are bigoted/do dark magic, and then someone who calls their supposed best friend a slur in front of like half their peers are as bad as each other...

^also james!! omg mate she noticed you showing off with your snitch and messing your hair up!!! (also furthering my proof that he does it as a nervous act cause he's all nervous around her so does it more often and she just thinks he's showing off)

sirius, now is not the time for your brutal honestly. like that's so real of you and i suffer from the same infliction but still..

[worrywrite]

To be clear, I am spit balling what-ifs here.

But I do have some ideas because of this response.

So, what Harrows parents did isn't siphoning per se. Siphoning extracts thalergy (? I get them mixed up every time, I might mean thanergy here) from a living creature with consent. But the neurotoxin killing cells (because it is living cells dying that produces it, not specifically people) produces thanergy which is much wilder and harder to harness when released and so you either need an insane level of mastery to harness it or an absurd abundance of it to harness what you need to do something like making a fetus a necromancer. So what I'm actually positing here in my what if is less "what if they just siphoned Gideon" and more of "what if they scarred Gideon for life, physically, and made her an immortal thanergy tap for their daughter." The 200 other kids died too, they got fated into Harrows life. But the reason it worked is because the volume of thanergy was so absurd. 200 kids on its own produces a lot, way more than enough if you have insane levels of control and mastery. But Gideon is also straight up at least 50% immortal and her cells don't die like they should (or if they do they regenerate at a stupid rate, which I feel like is more accurate based off of the few times we see her fight with serious wounds). That's fact. But exposing her to neurotoxin still might have released thanergy, and I'm saying it was likely well in the range of 100x what they were expecting.

Now, what necromancy actually is, is not well known for us as readers. I personally think it's a combination of biological mutation to be able to detect thanergy and thalergy (like a mutation in the optic nerve) combined with a certain sort of spiritual corruption or mutation that allows for the direct manipulation of those energies. And that's why you can get situations like Pyrrha, Nona, and Camilla who have varying degrees of mismatched bodies and souls with limited capacity for necromancy.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that Gideon might well have a recessive gene for the physical mutation because she's descended from a first generation necromancer, and she may well have the complete (and probably enhanced) spiritual mutation. And normally this wouldn't work, but she also has a few things going for her. Namely, she's John and Wake's kid. So the mismatching wouldn't harm her as much or at all due to her physical resilience.

I have a theory that the sicklyness of the nine houses is less to do with them being able to do necromancy and more to do with them being exposed to the undead sun. They live in an undead solar system, thanergy is leeching into everything. It's the essence of death and dying and decay. It's going to make them physically weaker. Not all at once, of course, but gradually over the course of the many generations of the myriad. They're not getting that same vitamin d anymore. They're getting the solar radiation form of mountain dew.

But Gideon is essentially a genetic foreigner. No generational deterioration. If anything, she's the most human human in the universe by modern standards. No one in her family line was ever reincarnated with necromancy (ish, im iffy on if John ever really died in a literal way, since it wasn't required for his lyctorhood even if it's sort of symbolically implied), or lived among the nine houses in proximity to the undead sun.

And, you know. The more I think about it. The weirder it is that the sun is relying on John's power to keep on. Because the sun doesn't have living cells, not in an organism or a planet way. The sun is a dense pocket of gasses that has stuck together to the point of creating a self sustaining fusion reaction (primarily hydrogen, helium, and argon? I think? Actually I've checked and it's mostly just hydrogen and helium, and some other elements). Anyway it's weird that the sun isn't self sustaining anymore. If the physical elements to make a star are still there in enough volume to be a star it should be self sustaining. So... Maybe it isn't actually a star anymore? Maybe it's just sort of a glowing mass? Like a really big and heavy grow light. Just dense enough to keep the gravitational forces of the solar system in check, but no longer sustaining nuclear fusion reactions and emitting the proper life giving spectra.

That was a detour. Sorry. What I'm saying is, generations of no real sunlight have caused genetic degradation in the nine houses. Gideon does not have that. Gideon also can't see or sense thanergy and thalergy, which would be a problem, except that you kind of need both the physical and the spiritual change for either to work.

I'm going to continue my scar theory here and say that a traumatic enough wound, even when healed, could have been enough to alter Gideons body to the point where she could no longer perceive or benefit from the mutation that allows necromancer to detect life and death energy. If she has it at all, that is. Being the daughter of John, I'm confident she has whatever spiritual changes needed to do necromancy, but she doesn't exhibit any of the physical changes needed. Maybe the low physical health is part of it, maybe it isn't, but whatever physical thing sets necromancer apart Gideon doesn't have it (at least anymore). I guess the short of this theory is "what if she had it, but the neurotoxin incident damaged her to the point she lost it."

Man I could have said that a lot more efficiently. Wild, though. Right?

What if Harrow is, not just a powerful necromancer, but a necromancer at all because her parents actually successfully drained it off of baby Gideon while she was being exposed to neurotoxin.

What if Gideon was or was supposed to be a necromancer. And they took that from her and gave it to Harrow.

What if Harrow has been living off a small and quiet siphon of her horrible situationship her whole life. Not just making her suffer because they're stuck together in a small dying colony, by because it is part of her nature.

What if the 200 other children did next to nothing, but a sliver of Gideon made all the difference. Harrows parents wouldn't have been able to do anything at all without that sliver, it should have been impossible. They were deranged. They were insane and desperate in the way that only religious zealots can be. But they just so happened to accidentally be in possession of a portion of their gods power made flesh.

Or, maybe the worst possible theory of the neurotoxin incident. What if the neurotoxin didn't make it through the vents at all. The aunts did it wrong, and most of it blew back at them. But the reverend father and reverend mother didn't know that, how could they have, they expected there to be a large explosion of thanergy, and it was just Gideon. Just Gideon, nestled up right next to the vent where only a gasp of toxin came through and went right to get her and her alone. And, like some natural reflex, she sucked dry the life force of 200 children to survive. And the reverend father and mother just sucked on the dregs of that. They didn't actually succeed at anything. Harrow was never the product of a small genocide. It was just Gideon. Just a child with godly power sleeping, blissfully unaware they were a monster the whole time.

[quietwingsinthesky]

i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

[cosettegf]

i love the penumbra podcast and i love second citadel and i really enjoyed listening to the finale but i feel. weird about the way this show treats its female characters???

[floralovebot]

ALSO ive been rereading the comics again and its giving me so much winx/specialists and specialists/specialists friendship dynamics psychic attacks again

[todayisafridaynight]

they were out of line for this. by the way.

[toytulini]

if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[x-crowmancer-x]

OKAY RANT ON VIVZIEPOP SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT CARE

--------------------

I like Viv as an artist, shes inspired me since frickin middleschool with her animations, character designs, and now 2 shows holy crap. I just really wish she'd get off social media for her own mental health cuz good god it's not great to see a whole thread of tweets arguing with someone about the dislike of fanfiction having homophobic undertones its just... agdhdh Viv is a pretty controversial person due to unfortunate past events and having shows that present some darker subject matter. Honestly? I want to see Viv not just move past the previous controversy, but learn from it to be better. Its totally fair tho if you think the handling of certain topics arent done well, there are things people will have preference over. And I dont give a fuck about shipping, I dont wanna see it, frankly. If you're doin somethin shady with it and I see it I'm certainly not going to like it and I'll do my best to not interact with you, but I think we should make tagging things just a common thing? Keeps things organized and people can intake what they want while the stuff they dont want is not being shown to them. Same goes with headcanons they're someone imagining something, they arent holding the creators hostage to make it canon. Canon is silly anyways! Both the OG and a headcanon can exist because AUs and headcanons are just another version of the thing. Headcanons arent going to change the episodes, they'll still be the same way the creators made it. So like... chill.

Just as long as it has no mental or physical negative implications or intent against actual living people I will add.

Dont harrass actors because they play a villian you need to separate fiction and reality it's literally their job to pretend to be someone else.

[boxwinebaddie]

an uncle nina check in <3

hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333

i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<

i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!

and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.

however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...

makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333

so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,

uncle nina xx

[atomiclace]

who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)

[13eyond13]

.

[autumnoakes]

i feel so bad sometimes when i see people complaining about how their favs don't get a lot of content compared to my fav who gets a ton of content and i don't... really know what to do about it?

like i know i'm literally a part of the problem but i also literally cannot focus on anything else. i literally only read fanfiction about one character at a time and anything else just does not grab me as much. i can't explain why.

[arielluva]

grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again

[hecksupremechips]

My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT