#SYSCOURSE GET BLOCKED AND EXPLODED 💥 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nexus-nebulae · 5 months ago

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it's so dumb that we still feel awkward about creating willogenic headmates in our sys when we literally found out we were plural through the tulpa community

#SYSCOURSE GET BLOCKED AND EXPLODED 💥#endo safe #tulpa safe #but like we figured out we had an actual disassociative disorder through that community #because when we first started 'creating' headmates and talking about it in the community #everyone was like 'yea its... not usually normal for tulpas to form so completely THAT fast??? especially multiple at once???'#'its not really normal to be SURPRISED by a 'new tulpa'? like... the whole thing is you have to put in effort to create them?'#when we started tulpamancy we basically had a cambrian explosion of headmates like we went from Cecil alone to 14 all at once #(and we have confirmation that Cecil did not arrive alone. his arrival (or reveal) was ANNOUNCED by A DIFFERENT GUY)#literally the conversation was just #ruby: why am i getting intrusive thoughts rn #sheo; not making himself known: it's cecils fault #ruby: WHOS CECIL?????#cecil: hi thats me #we talked about how cecil basically formed by himself (blank as well) and everyone was like... bestie that might not be a tulpa....#they were really kind abt it though i happened to be in a nice group #anyway all that backstory aside we keep wanting a headmate of a specific concept but keep feeling weird about making them from scratch #cause like. years and years ago. we ran away from home once and. well let's just say we did not intend to be found with a pulse #and like. we were texting our friends while walking and they weren't able to convince us to go home at all we were. very not ok #and i had to put away my phone bc it started raining so i kept walking for a bit and then just. stopped #bc in the middle of the road there was just. a single solitary bright red salamander. just standin there #and i just. i don't even know. i broke a little? i was just overwhelmed with the wonder of nature and life and coincidence?#I've literally only ever seen two salamanders in my entire life. one that i caught under a bush and wanted to keep as a pet but was told no #and that little fire red salamander in the middle of the road #and i genuinely think if i had not stopped to look at that salamander i would not have gone home #and i want. to have a salamander headmate that can be there for comfort and stuff #if we ever get a tattoo we're definitely getting a salamander one as our first one #maybe mixed with a semicolon bc the salamander is like. symbolizing the same thing for me #the 'i fucking made it. im still here' kind of vibes

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