#but its still as debilitating as ever
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#been awhile#not sure what got into me tonight#maybes its just the time ive spent away from you#or the time youve spent away from me#maybe its both#maybe its the things i want to say#or am too afraid to say#the things im afraid to admit even still#maybe its the person ive become#maybe its the person youve become#maybe its everything#i miss you#i thought id be over all this by now#maybe i do it to myself though#the grief isnt as bad as it was#but its still as debilitating as ever#nothing seems to be going right for me#but it makes me happy to know things are going well for you#its what you deserve#im happy to see you spread your wings and fly#and maybe someday we'll meet each other again#in the great expansive sky of life#i wish it were easier to let go#or at least wish i could find someone to fill the void#maybe its the pedestal i put you on for so long but no one could truly fill the void#one day at a time#things will get better#maybe one day youll see these
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I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.
Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.
This is one friend.
Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?
I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.
We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.
#hush catríona#this is essentially copy pasted from my twt last week but made a touch more coherent#iiiii spiral about this pretty regularly. i think this is the 4th or 5th time ive gone on this spiel bc its agonizing#i feel horrific guilt for ignoring messages for so long. and its absolutely voluntary. but i cant FUNCTION like this i cant DO it#i have friends where we talk Every Single Day and i LOVE them so much. so unfathomably much. but it KILLS me#hell take my roomie for example. one of my fav ppl in the world. we text- twit dm- discord dm- ig dm- reply to posts. thats five right?#i guess!!! but we also LIVE TOGETHER. i see them in real life and talk to them out loud with my voice and its still this much to add on!!!!#and i feel like nobody else talks abt this shit and it makes me feel crazy. am i the only person completely debilitated by this???#i dont want this to come across as like ‘boohoo we get it ur sooo popular’ that is NOT what this post means#i think a lot of ppl big acct or small. fandom or otherwise. talk to a dozen ppl online. and i dont get how anyone copes#this is agony. and every single time i ever make a post? its another opportunity to add to the pile#i only reply to comments on posts on twt and this is why. i cant DO it i cant keep up. i see every tag and im so grateful but i cant ever#reach out. i cant add to the pile. theyre already taller than me
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since i cant put this in her bio on site: perenth's actual job title is Supreme Bitch
#pin talks#flight rising#dragon share#perenth#ive had perenth for a looooooong long long time#she used to have a tragic backstory involving a factory accident in the shifting expanse#and i guess she still does but it didnt make it in the bio this time#its just more fun to make her a bitch for the sake of being a bitch#also#im in rehab#and my brain feels like someone took a melon baller to it#so the fact that i can even write bios rn is like#wooooo wow good job#you can form sentences! youre doing it!#ive been completely debilitated by this and i dont know when ill feel like myself again#if ever
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google search how to get people in your life to take your suspicions of inattentive adhd seriously when you’ve been an anxiety-ridden overachiever your entire life
#ITS THE THIRD TIME IVE BROUGHT IT UP. STILL WONT DO ANYTGING ABOUT IT#hate it here both adhd and my (i’m 99% sure actually diagnosed BUT NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING) anxiety cause executive dysfunction#but even just talking about that means they write me off as lazy. i am a fuckin mess and as always am screwing my self up at just the last#second (two weeks before finals) just in time to hate myself. this is why i always pick up a new interest around this time of year#i swear it’s like a fucking clock i cope with anxiety by fixating on reading a gratuitous amount of content on smthn new#every december may and august and it SUCKS bc it DOES NOT HELP ME and i still get by by the seat of pants bc i stay up until fuck o clock am#and get lucky. fuck.#sry for the swear laden vent i realized i have slightly screwed myself AGAIN and am AGAIN annoyed no one takes me seriously when i bring up#my actual inability to get a n y r h i n g done. basically ever#special shout-out at the one who has repeatedly made jokes throughout my life about my inability to follow two step instructions#like hi yeah literally a diagnostic. fucking hell.#yes diagnoses are just collections of observable traits that we group together and yes it’s not completely debilitating but i am near physic#ally incapable of doing anything without a looming deadline EVEN IF I WANT TO and the fact that i am good at last minute bullshiting means#i have no ducking clue how to get a handle on it or even get people to take me seriously about it#>:(((((((
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*blinks at u* hey so my brain is eating itself and this won't let me sleep so
*pulls out a megaphone* NSFW ALERT
Okay yes octotrio foursome i know for a fact that the tweels love making their sweet partners forget about their insecurities for a moment yuu and zuzu are mostly receiving WE KNOW THOSE TWO EELS ARE CUNTS (affectionately) and like overstimulating, sweet aftercare is clearly followed but now? They know you and Azul are very spent but oh how they love to bring out such debilitating states out of you two, voices breaking and thighs trembling wanting to stop and close "Too much!" they coo and tease in response "You can take more right?" it is their form of making you two take a break! Making your bones feel like jelly and mushing your brains up, forget about anything now darling! Feels too good to stop right?
Both of those greedy bastards get you and Azul into missionary, the dominant hands of each twin on your hips to hold them in place while the other can bring even more attention to your sensitive zones, so so messy! The amount of lube mixed with saliva and semen that coated yours and Azul's inner thighs from the previous positions, the three of your partners do love to pick apart and see what makes each scenerie unique so sounds, states everything is so important to them! The sloppy sounds that Azul causes when he thrusts into you and how with this position you two can clearly see what's going on, bodies trailed with hickys and bite marks you get masturbated by Floyd while Jade fingers Azul all while still going! Seeing how Jade looks down at you, you can see how he is whispering on Azul's ear giving light kisses every now and then along his neck. They know how much these little things can do for you two, they know and want to make the most of it! After some time of weakly thrusting the twins make Azul fill you up they eat up every breathless noises being made (they also made sure you and Azul held eye contact when bringing you two to the edge don't worry!)
Finally the twins seem satisfied with the state you two are in.. Maybe they can make it even better, Azul was catching his breath and then Floyd decided to steadily masturbate Azul's still twitching dick —"C'mon Azul we wanna see you paint shirmpy's body too!" —"Fufu~ you still have energy left Floyd?" —"Always have energy to make our little mates cum~" Azul threw his head back as he came again this time spilling on your abdomen
What a mess! Don't worry though you and Azul can go into the bath while the twins change the sheets, make small snacks prepare the wedding ceremony pull out fresh pijamas everything is ready for cuddling maybe taking a nap, watching something.. Or even just talking if you even can with your sore throat
They love, love you two this is just one of the many moments that make your relationship so special
AaaaaAAaAAaH this is the very first time I ever write something let alone smut! English isn't my mother tongue and I have forgotten how puntuaction commas or dots went! But this is very feeling charged hope that you can still get it! I think that now I can go curl up on my blankets and get some heavy sleep :3 nighty night Mochi!!
-Vaquita 🐄 (hope this isn't thrown in the dust.. I spent time on it and it could be forgotten forever ;( dramatically sobbing rn)
(you need to sleep love its good for the soul)
Omg no this is really good! I love when polyoctotrio includes the twins loving on Azul too, it feeds my soul! I think they really do get a kick out of overstimulating their partners, especially for someone as high-strung as Azul.
It gets frustrating when he gets too focused on work and starts ignoring his lovers. More so when their little Shrimp is running around busy with Grim and Crowley's tasks. The twins are feeling neglected by BOTH of their partners, what a sin!
The remedy? They con you two into coming into the bedroom to "relax" and unfortunately for you and Azul, relax means literally fucking the brains out of your head until you're too dumb to remember what you were supposed to do the next day.
The nice thing is, at the end, Azul is so sweet when he's like this! All the stress, and thoughts in general, are out of his mind and only filled with thoughts of his partners! He's so cuddly to the point that it's almost funny, with how Floyd has to pry his arms off you to properly wash you in the bath. It's awfully cute, so are you, though! You're clutching at Azul all the same, cherishing his affection as Jade attempts to dress you in your pajamas. Eventually the two get you both in bed again, curled into each other and practically knocking out the moment your heads hit the pillows.
A lovely polycule to be sure!
#mochi asks#vaquita anon#twst#twisted wonderland#jade leech#floyd leech#azul ashengrotto#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#twst smut#twisted wonderland smut#!nsfw
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Mithrun Dungeon Meshi is probably my favorite disabled character ever, largely because his disability is completely invisible to anyone who doesn't know him, entirely internal/mental, and still INCREDIBLY, INARGUABLY debilitating. But at the same time he's not a one-note sob story; he's a driven and intelligent person who just needs a great deal of support and understanding. And he gets it! Originally because he is useful, but even just by the time he first appears on screen he has at least one person who genuinely values his health and survival.
And then the end of his arc as the manga comes to a close is just perfect! He'll never get back what he lost, but the wounds are healing and with help he's found a path forward. He has reasons to keep living even if life itself is not something he can value for its own sake. His disability, as terrible as it is, doesn't doom him to misery.
And all of this is really inspiring for me, someone who struggles to meet my physical needs and who struggles to want things and who isn't sure how to build a life worth living given my own depression and executive dysfunction.
#Dungeon Meshi#Mithrun#there's also a lot to be said about his relationship with Kabru and the parallels between him and Thistle#But those would have to be posts on their own
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Part 4 of a 5 part series about the ways harmful practices can be made to sound appealing and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful approaches.
Sensory sensitivities are a huge part of being autistic (and sometimes ADHD, too). They can range from kind of annoying but manageable to debilitating and meltdown-inducing. They can fluctuate from day to day and situation to situation. They can seem to pop up one day out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly.
Sensory differences are dynamic, which can make them unpredictable and disruptive. Not many people want to live that way, so working on sensory desensitization with someone who has a lot of sensitivities sounds like a thing that could help. Fewer meltdowns and able to do more things? Yes please!
But as you might have guessed, there’s a giant problem with that: reducing sensitivity isn’t really a thing you can do TO someone. At least, not without inducing a trauma response or two. You can certainly get someone to learn to ignore their own body signals or pretend to be fine when they’re not, but that’s not a sensory thing. That’s a dissociation thing.
“Sensory desensitization” is usually code for exposure therapy. Exposure therapy has its uses, but addressing legitimate sensory issues isn’t one of them. And it should only be done WITH someone who can fully consent and actively participate. Coercing and/or forcing someone to interact with distressing sensory input until they stop reacting is not that.
“Sensory desensitization” also operates under the assumption that people just get used to, or habituate to, the noises and sensations around them, even ones that bother them. But studies have shown that autistic people actually don’t habituate to sensory stimuli the way non-autistic people do. It may take way longer to happen, or it may never happen at all.
You know what can and does happen? Sensory sensitivities can just kinda…change. All on their own. We grow up, our hormones change, our stress levels change, our environments change, and our sensory profiles are affected by all of those things (and more!). Sensitivities can just disappear, naturally, without any intervention. And that’s about the only thing I’d ever refer to as real sensory desensitization.
But sensory sensitivities can go any which way. Maybe new ones rear their ugly heads. Or maybe something bothers us at a level 7 one day and 2 the next, then goes all the way up to 11 next week. And then there are the ones that just stay pretty much the same, all the time, forever.
I could not handle pants for a long time as a kid, but then somewhere along the way, I could. I really couldn’t tell you when it happened. There are some foods that used to make me gag that no longer do, and there are some that I still just cannot handle. I have never been okay with things that stick to my hands, and that really hasn't changed since as far back as I can remember.
You know what all these sensory sensitivities have in common? Someone made me “tolerate” them at some point, often repeatedly. And none of them changed (or didn’t) because of repeated exposure, but because of my natural development. All I got from forced exposure was this lousy tendency to disconnect from myself.
Sensory desensitization is just not a thing we should be trying to do to people. Sensory *integration* is a real thing that can help people, but that is a whole different animal that requires more than just exposing people to stuff that bothers them. You’ll need an OT (Occupational Therapist) with the specialized training for that. Just make sure they’re not sneaking behaviorism tactics or exposure therapy in there either (yep, the words “sensory integration” can be used to misrepresent what they’re doing, too).
It is a far better thing to help someone learn about their own sensory profile and how to manage their sensory needs than to make them ignore their own body signals. Alexithymia is not #goals.
#actually autistic#autistic#autism#adhd#audhd#sensory processing differences#sensory processing disorder
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Outcaste Nakshatras: The Outsiders (part 3)
Here's part 1 and part 2
The more I study Mleccha nakshatra natives and the art they make, the more I understand how deeply lonely it is to have a Mleccha nak (Bharani, Ashlesha, Vishaka, Shravana) and I really feel for them. To live your whole life feeling misunderstood and othered is so difficult.
The movie Edward Scissorhands is a really good example of the "outcast" trope. The titular character is played by Johnny Depp who has Ashlesha Rising and his love interest is played by Winona Ryder who has Mercury (amatyakaraka) & Venus (atmakaraka) in Vishaka
I find Outcaste nak pairing very interesting because obviously you only feel like you belong/truly feel accepted in the presence of another Outcast.
Sidharth Malhotra, Vishaka Moon is married to Kiara Advani, who has Mercury & Venus (atmakaraka) in Ashlesha (if you have 2 or more planets in the same nak that energy is very concentrated even if its not your big 3)
they're both known for being pretty low-key people which is unusual in Bollywood lmao
Sid is an "outsider" which is what we call non-nepo actors in India. imagine the extent of nepotism in cinema in India that its the exception to be an "outsider"lmao. anyway Sid is pretty reserved and introverted and is known for not fitting in with the Bollywood crowd. Kiara is also kinda like that I guess but idk too much about her personality. They both seem happy together tho
Kareena Kapoor, Shravana Moon is married to Saif Ali Khan, Ashlesha Sun & Shravana Moon
Kareena's parents are famous actors who are separated (her dad was misogynistic and abusive and didn't want women to act) and even tho she's a nepo baby she didn't grow up with the same privileges as others in her famous family. Her elder sister had to drop out of school to support the family by acting as they were raised by a single mom and had fallen on bad times. You can see how the "outcast" themes were present in Kareena's life even though she's a very privileged nepo baby
Saif is also a nepo baby (welcome to bollywood lol) but he married a much older actress when he was 21 and had two kids. they later got divorced and Saif received a ton of bad press for alleged adultery, not getting custody or visitation rights of the kids, not paying child support (the amount was absurdly high tbh) etc he didn't fit in with the other actors of his generation. The media & public went crazy when news of Saif & Kareena getting married came out bc Saif is a divorcee with 2 kids (this stuff is still taboo in India unfortunately) and Kareena is one of the most successful stars of her generation. But they've been married for 10+ yrs and have 2 kids and are as happy as ever.
Even Kareena's longterm ex-boyfriend, Shahid Kapoor was a Mleccha caste nak guy (he has Vishaka Moon)
Expanding on the outcast tropes, Shahid's parents separated when he was young and he saw little of his biological father. He had to work very hard for very long to break into the industry and even now, he's not really given his due as an actor.
Alia Bhatt, Shravana Rising is married to Ranbir Kapoor, Shravana Moon
their marriage seems hella toxic to me ngl BUT they've both had similar childhoods.
Alia & Ranbir are both nepo babies (welcome to bollywood), Alia is like a tier 3 nepo (her father is a notoriously controversial filmmaker) whilst Ranbir is like a tier 1 nepo (he is a 4th generation actor from the biggest film family in India) however both their parents had unhappy marriages, and both of them had abusive fathers. trauma bonding, mayhaps? they're both also extremely close to their mothers as well (Moon dominant people often tend to be)
Its another example of Outcaste naks bonding over their shared experiences/feelings of being the outcast.
all members of Blackpink have an Outcaste nakshatra in their chart that is prominent in some way.
Jisoo- Shravana Moon, Venus in Vishaka (darakaraka), Ketu in Bharani
Rose- Venus conjunct Jupiter (debilitated) in Shravana
Jennie- Vishaka Moon, Mars in Shravana
Lisa- Jupiter in Shravana (debilitated), Swati Moon (Swati is a Shudra nak, which is the lowest caste so the themes are similar to that of outcaste naks)
This is interesting to me because BP is the biggest girl group of all time yet they are also probably disproportionately hated for things they cant even control. they were mismanaged by a shitty ass company with very few comebacks and barely got to display their true calibre as artists and their media interactions, promos, other activities etc were severely controlled and restricted. all of this is to say that despite being the most successful group their actual experiences are far from sunshine and roses. they were treated like outcasts by their company and the industry and fans. they trained for 4-6 years, enduring a brutal and toxic system, worked very hard with what they were given, with 0 creative liberty to come this far im glad theyre pursuing solo careers now and hope to see them thrive<333
the movie Lost in Translation is a good example of two outcasts/lonely people who find comfort in each other
Bill Murray is Shravana Moon and Scarlett Johansson is Vishaka Moon
Sridevi, Ashlesha Sun & Rising and Boney Kapoor, Vishaka Sun & Mercury
So they had a really fcked up marriage that I won't get into but they were both people who felt like outcasts in their lives. Sridevi grew up with a stepfather and was pushed into acting by her mother when she was 3-4 years old (she's like an Indian Judy Garland tbh) who deprived her of formal education and a normal life so that she'd be the family cash cow. Being South Indian, she also found it hard to fit in among Bollywood folks as she initially spoke neither Hindi nor English. Boney's the ugly duckling of his family and his younger brother is one of the most famous/iconic actors ever, he had to become a movie producer since his brothers became actors and his father (who was a movie producer) thought it would be better if he stayed behind the scenes. themes of exclusion and outcast-ness crop up in their lives and in the lives of all the people I mention here.
Lady Bird is a good example of a movie about a female teenage outcast. The titular character is played by Saoirse Ronan, who has Bharani Moon
Recently I came across the content creator, Alana Lintao who often makes shorts about social behaviour. This one in particular stood out to me because its literally about one person being excluded by a group of friends or being treated like "the other".
Alana plays the excluded friend in this short as well. She has Bharani Sun, Swati Moon and Mercury in Revati amatyakaraka (Swati & Revati are both Shudra naks)
Outcaste naks are vilified and crucified for mistakes others get away with.
Janet Jackson, Vishaka Rising & Ketu
Janet's career took a hit and her life took a tumultuous turn after the Superbowl incident. She did not deserve all the vitriol she received then especially considering how so many others get away with wayyy worse
Jennie, Vishaka Moon gets hated on for absolutely nothing
Lana Del Rey, Ashlesha Moon, Vishaka Rising (&stellium)
Lana does say dumb things from time to time but she gets soooo much unnecessary hate
I have noticed how Outcaste nakshatras often tend to have really difficult childhood experiences
Jeanette McCurdy- Ardra sun, Bharani Moon & Pushya Rising
Jeanette opens up about her abusive mother and terrible childhood in her memoir. I mention her other placements as well because I've noticed that both Ardra & Pushya natives also experience abuse in their early lives
Britney Spears, Shravana Moon
she has endured so much abuse from so many people including her family. i wish her peace.
Wheein, Vishaka Moon grew up with a single mother and later after she made her debut her estranged father tried to borrow money from people under her name?? there was a minor scandal about it many years ago. She also grew up quite lower middle class if not poor.
David Bowie, Shravana Rising
Bowie once said, "“It wasn’t a particularly happy childhood, my parents were cold emotionally. There weren’t many hugs. I always craved affection because of that.”
Cole & Dylan Sprouse, Ashlesha Sun
Speaking on the Call Her Daddy podcast, he explained that their mother's issues with mental health and addiction contributed to her being "financially the most irresponsible woman ever." He said that when their dad was given forced custody when the boys were 10, their mom had already spent everything they'd earned from their early acting jobs. Though their dad wanted them to be "normal kids," he ultimately decided that the boys' acting careers were a financial necessity.
Ariel Winter, Shravana Sun
Ariel Winter has spoken out about how acting wasn't her choice, but it was her mother's. Ariel shared that her mother, Crystal Workman, had dreams of being an actor herself. Ariel said that with Crystal as her stage mom, she dealt with a lot of abuse and exploitation.
Once Ariel's acting career began, she said her mom put her on a strict diet and neglected her education. Her mother also had her dress in outfits that sexualized her. Ariel claimed her mom put her in “the smallest miniskirts, sailor suits, low-cut things, the shortest dresses you’ve ever seen. People thought I was 24 when I was 12. If there was going to be a nude scene when I was that age, my mother would have a thousand percent said yes.”
Now Bollywood is an industry run by film dynasties, its very rare for someone from the outside to break in and make it big. Being an "Outsider" is very difficult, people bully you, try to sabotage your career, try to isolate you etc etc, needless to say its not for the faint of heart. So lets take a look at some of the most successful "Outsiders" in Bollywood who made it big without any family in the business
ofc we have to start with the most successful outsider of all time, Shahrukh Khan, Shravana Moon
he truly came from nothing (father died when he was a teenager, mother died before he made his debut, has a sister with special needs who he has taken care of his entire life) and became the biggest star in the world.
Akshay Kumar, Vishaka Moon, he was a martial artist, chef, waiter and worked numerous odd jobs before he started modelling in his late 20s and later started acting and today he has a net worth of $340 million
Anushka Sharma, Bharani Sun
her life is truly a case of being lucky af, she was a model and by the age of 19-20 she was cast in a film opposite Shahrukh Khan aka the biggest actor in the country produced by YRF, one of the biggest film production companies in India. its truly a fairy tale because neither can Anushka act nor is she gifted in any other way (bad dancer, heck she was even an awful model) but she's incredibly successful in every way and is now married to the (former) Captain of the Indian cricket team
Deepika Padukone, Shravana Rising
she is from a privileged background (her dad's a renowned badminton player) but she worked very very hard to get where she is today and has had more career longevity than just about any other actress.
Bipasha Basu & John Abraham, Bharani Moon
they were both a hot couple who were really popular in the 2000s
there are many other successful Outsiders but they don't have outcaste naks lol, these are the only ones i can think of rn :/
i hope this post was informative<33
#astrology notes#astrology observations#sidereal astrology#vedic astro notes#nakshatras#astro notes#vedic astrology#astrology#astroblr#astro observations#jyotish#shravana#bharani#vishaka#ashlesha
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Deafening Stillness
cw: depictions of migraines and symptoms
Johnny reads the signs the moment he walks through the front door.
Blackout blinds strung over every window. The television sitting calm and lifeless, and the usual boisterous sounds of your music defeaned by the heavy veil of silence that creeps through the halls of your shared home.
He keeps his footsteps quiet. Measured and methodical as he makes his way down the main corridor. Gently resting his dufflebag down on the floor outside the master bedroom as he meticulously turns the knob on the door.
And as he takes in the sight before him, his heart breaks. Knowing all too well the unbearable pain his love is engaged in.
--
It all started at the store. You were simply reading the baking instructions on the back of a cake box when the initial indications began to take hold.
A soft aura creeping like tendrils into the corners of your periphery. Glowing like a beacon that pulled you into a growing state of anxiety as you mentally prepared for the next symptom to make its debilitating presence known.
Quickly, you placed the cake box back into its alloted slot and moved towards the checkout aisle. The aura abated for the time being as you focused on paying for the few items you had managed to throw in your cart.
You moved with earnest determination as you crossed the chaotic parking lot. The ever growing throb sinking into the back of your head, vibrating down your spine and wrapping around the flesh of your neck as every step reverberated like thundering mallots into the surface of your skull.
Making it to the safety of your vehicle, you fumbled with the keys in your pocket with a growing tremor that echoed into your hands.
Desperate for isolation and quiet, you hastily hit the unlock button. Haphazardly tossing the bags into the passenger side and throwing yourself into the driver's seat.
You moved with increasingly wretched intent to make it home before the devastating effects would ultimately take hold. The aura subsiding, only to be replaced by a wave of nausea that bellowed up from the depths of your abdomen. Culminating in a fowl taste in the back of your throat as your mouth began to water in preparation for an eventual wave of dry heaves.
The notion of Johnny coming home had completely disappeared from your clouded and overwhelmed mind. The sole thought, single need pushing you forward, was to make it home in one piece and shut out the world. To dissolve yourself in copious amounts of medication and bathe in the defeaning stillness of silent darkness.
--
A single ray of light crept through a break in the blinds as Johnny gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the heavy blackness. Illuminating your pitiful figure wrapped underneath a mountain of blankets as he stepped ever so quietly into the bedroom.
The darkness of the room enveloping his form as he closed the door and shut out the world behind him.
Peeling off his war-torn wardrobe down and kicking off his boots until he was dawning nothing but his boxer briefs.
Your eyes twitched beneath your heavy lids as the muffled sounds of his belt buckle fell into your ears. The cold washcloth draped across your forehead soothing the sounds of his approach as the bed dipped to the addition of his bulking weight.
Still in the grips of immense pain and oppressive sensory overload, the thought of having any sensation of touch in this state at first made you pull away from him.
Yet it was the subtle scent of pine and an undertone of a musk that was so uniquely him wafting into your sinuses that had you nudging yourself back into his encompassing form.
His arm draping over the curve of your torso, meandering underneath the layers of weighted blankets and resting his hand in the center of your abdomen.
"I got'ya, bonnie. I'm 'ere." He said softly on a measured and attentive whisper. His breath fanning over the flesh of your neck as the heat of his body radiated against your pained and inert form.
You didn't respond. You didn't have to. He read the signs of your reply in the gentle touch of your fingers as your hand moved down to drape over his.
Drowning in the effects of medicated analgesia. And aiding to welcome the compassion and tenderness he emitted so naturally as he held you close and kept the world at bay until the pain would slowly begin to drift away.
-
Apologies if this isn't very good. It's all I could manage. But I didn't want to leave SSS empty. Love you all.
Drabbles Masterlist
#super soap sunday#soap squad™️#deafening stillness#johnny soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish#john mactavish#soap drabble#soap x you#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x you#johnny mactavish x reader#call of duty#cod
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Pyrite - Chapter 1: Gold Crown
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Reader.
Chapter Summary: During your first week as the Queen's handmaid, you overhear something you shouldn't have.
Warnings: Discussions of death, grief, abortion, and scheming. None of those happen to reader.
A/N: Alysanne Targaryen, you feminist icon. Mostly context.
As you walk towards the Queen's chambers, you fight a yawn. Despite the excitement you feel, you are still tired, unused to waking up as early as this.
So far, you have led the life of a girl. Playing around the gardens with the other children, running errands for your mother. But today, your life will change. You will go from girl to woman.
Today will be one of the most important days of your existence. The only other event that could surpass it will be the day you finally meet the lady you will serve.
It's a labor of love, your mother says. To serve faithfully next to a Queen is to be strong and loyal, but most of all, loving. You will get to know all her secrets, only you will see her bared body, and all its imperfections. You will learn to love this woman as if she were your little sister, for you will be the only one to know her as she is. Past the crown and the jewels, and down to the very mortal flesh that a Targaryen Queen has.
The Red Keep is where your family has served for generations. Your grandmother is full of tales about the cruelty of King Maegor, and his various wives. Your mother has served Queen Alysanne faithfully, ever since both of them were mere girls. You come from a lineage of handmaidens, born to serve the greatest Queens Westeros has ever seen.
In your family, being born a girl is a blessing. When a boy is born, the family weeps for the opportunity lost. Your mother had been the only girl out of her siblings, and now you, an only child, get to learn her trade.
One of your earliest memories comes with being taught to read and write. A handmaiden must know all the recipes for beauty, and create her own. Never for embellishing herself, but rather her lady. Every woman in your family keeps her own book, tailored to the lady she serves. As a child, you dreamed of the day you would be handed your own journal, and today is the day it will finally happen.
You will get to meet Queen Alysanne today. She is the most loved and kind Queen your family has served. Your mother has always spoken highly of her, telling tales of her beauty and grace.
Her story is the story all little girls dream of living. She had married for love, defying her family, and ended up being the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. She had it all, once. Riches, beauty and a loving family. But as of late, you know her life has not been the fairy tale it used to be.
One of her sons, Prince Aemon, passed away a few years ago. The loss of her daughter had made the Queen even sadder and morose, and now, her other son was rumored to be running himself ragged with the responsibilities that came with being Hand. He worked so much, his health was debilitating.
The Queen walked around the Red Keep as if in a stupor. Your mother said that she had left her changed. No longer, the Queen had a thirst for life, nor did she care much about anything. The only thing that had broken her out of her sadness had been the fact that her granddaughter, Rhaenys, had been declared unfit to be heir to the Iron Throne.
“If your Grace truly believes that women lack the wit to rule, plainly you have no further need of me.” The Queen had said to the King, that time. Everyone found her words so surprising, but not you. Your mother had always said she was a champion for women, noble and commoners alike.
The succession issue was not only the royal's, but yours too. On it depended whom you would serve, which Queen you would tend to for the rest of your days.
Prince Aemon left only one heir. Princess Rhaenys, a beautiful woman who inherited her father's eyes. It should be her who should be Queen, your mother says. It's only right. But she has already been passed over already, the King declared Prince Baelor his heir. Now Prince Baelor is weakening, and the issue resurfaces again.
You think that Princess Rhaenys would make for an interesting lady. She is married already and she has a young son. She would be the first Queen in her own right in the history of Westeros and that would make you at least noteworthy to your family history.
The other option is Prince Viserys. Prince Viserys is said to be peaceful and not very gifted with the sword. That's alright, though. He has a brother to do that for him. Prince Viserys is married to a young girl, around your age. Princess Aemma. They are said to love each other very much, despite having married as children. To her, you could be an older sister, you think. She is said to be very kind and royal, despite being an Arryn by birth.
Both of them have their advantages. Prince Viserys would no doubt bring stability, but Princess Rhaenys would implement changes that would surely benefit women.
It would be exciting to be part of such changes. Your mother always remembers fondly her first days as Queen Alysanne’s handmaiden, when she had convinced her husband to abolish First Night. A terrible northern custom that hurt people like you.
It had made waves, your mother had said. The Lords had not wanted to abolish it. But Queen Alysanne had interfered and saved thousands of young girls just like you.
It's difficult to think of the weak old woman laying on her bed as that same fierce Queen. You are allowed in her rooms at sunrise, with your mother and your journal. You watch as she prepares the room to rise her lady, and you sit quietly with the Queen's jewels on your hands and neck. It's one of your new duties, to warm them for your lady.
She looks frail, sleeping between the covers. Aged. Your mother draws the curtains of the room open. In the morning light, antiques and silks shine like jewels. It's ostentatious, and it makes you sick. Only the gowns in this room could feed three or four families for a year.
“It won't be long before now.” Your mother whispers to you. She opens the door and picks up a tray. On it, sits a grapefruit cut in half, eggs, tea, and bread. Your stomach growls. It smells heavenly. Your mother places it on the vanity where you sit, warming your Queen's seat and jewels. It's the worst kind of torture. Your stomach hurts with hunger and you think of your breakfast, a cup of broth that was heavily diluted with water.
As predicted, the Queen slowly starts to stir. She moves, long silver braid whipping around. She has very thin hair, and you wonder how your mother makes up for it. Your journal is ready to note down any tricks she deems to share. You are supposed to note times and other useful things for when the time comes for you to have a lady of your own.
“Good morning, my Queen.” Your mother curtsies, and you hurry to do the same.
“You brought your daughter.” The Queen rasps, eyes still cloudy with sleep. “Come closer.”
Your mothers urges you forward. You obey, unable to believe such an esteemed lady would want to look at you.
“You are a pretty thing.” The Queen says, brushing your cheekbone with her thumb. You lower your eyes, not wanting to offend her by gawking at her. Queen Alyssane's hands are like nothing you've ever felt before, made of the softest velvet. She has never worked a day in her life and it shows. Your mother's hands and yours feel rough by comparison. ��Are you married yet?”
“No, my Queen. I wish to settle into my duties first.” You answer, demurely.
“Your duties.” She smiles. “You are a good girl.” Then, to your mother. “I suppose it's not only Rhaenys’s future at stakes, isn't it?”
“It seems like it, my Queen.” Your mother exchanges a look with the Queen. You would never dare gaze upon her like that, but they share a bond after so many years together. Almost a friendship. Or the closest thing to one that a commoner can have with a noble.
“Well. Hopefully, things will speed up soon. I doubt I have many years left, and Jaehaerys…” The distress can be heard in her tone. It makes you feel sad, too. What must it be like to love someone your entire life, and then being parted from them? If you had been in love with someone since you were a child, you wouldn't know how to live without them. It was that fear what had kept the Queen abed. After losing so much, she was afraid to lose even more.
Even if you were not a noble lady, that was a motivation you could understand. Losing your family would devastate you. Fear of it happening again would paralyze you too.
“The King will live longer, your Grace. There is no need to worry.” You said, softly. You weren't too sure it was your place to say so, but your mother's encouraging nod seemed to approve.
“Isn't it? When he insists on her not being Queen. He would rather bypass her rights again instead of naming her Queen.” The Queen said, sharply. Suddenly, she was sitting up straighter on her bed, eyes blazing with fury
“I do not presume to know the King's…” You tried to appease her, but she only became angrier.
“Do you not think it's a sign? Baelor will soon be struck down. I know it. His son is not fit to be King. Rhaenys can rule as well as any man, and she has her husband's support. He rides a dragon too. She also has a strong heir. Why would be Viserys be better?”
“The Lords would…” Your mother interjected, trying to save you from her wrath.
“A cock. He has a cock, and the Lords do too. It is time I show them it doesn't mean what they all think it means.”
And suddenly, Queen Alyssane was alive once more. She got up from her bed and started barking orders to her maidens, you included.
Your mother rushed to clothe her, draping silks over her. The Queen threw them all away, reaching instead for a black dress.
“Get me a quill, girl.” She screamed. “And summon Ser Otto. We have much to talk about.”
So you did. Everyone knew Ser Otto. He was the younger brother of Lord Hightower, and one of the most trusted men in the council. Tall and haughty, he did not take kindly to being summoned in such a way. But once he had a private meeting with Queen Alysanne, his mood greatly improved.
Many more meetings began to take place in the Queen's chambers. Another man had been asked to come and see her. Corlys Velaryon. The Queen said, loudly, that it was about him retaking his position as Master of Ships, but you could tell that was not it.
There was nothing to back your suspicions, though. You were not privy to what happened inside the Queen's chambers, and you only knew so much because you had been tasked with reading outloud her pending tasks each morning.
It was only when Queen Alysanne sent you to pick up some meat pies from the tavern she enjoyed that your suspicions were confirmed.
With your basket and borrowed gold from the Queen, you had gone to the tavern most highborn enjoyed. It was not a real tavern, in your opinion. You had been to a couple of those, with other serving girls and stable boys. Lowborn like you were not allowed here, just as they weren't allowed in the expensive pleasure houses of the Street of Silks. There was no explicit prohibition, but the prices said it all.
What it was, was a good imitation, for young lords to pretend to be having the real experience, and feel adventurous. It was also a good place for seedy meetings among the highborn.
You were making the queue towards the counter to purchase the meat pies, overpriced and made with much better ingredients than any tavern grub when you heard them.
“And you have a daughter, right?”
“A newborn. Alicent.”
At first, you didn't pay much attention, letting the conversation drift over you. It contained nothing out of the ordinary. Just a new father bragging.
“Alicent is a pretty name. Queen Alicent.”
“Laenor is…”
“Barely a few years older than her.”
But then, you realized. You knew those voices! They belonged to the men who often met with the Queen. The one with silver hair was Lord Corlys Velaryon, and he was the husband of Princess Rhaenys. The other one, you could tell, was Ser Otto. There was a third man with them, that you did not recognize. He wore a hood over his head.
“It has a certain ring to it, Hightower.” Lord Corlys laughed.
“We have to move quickly. Before the news spread.” The unknown man said.
“News?” Ser Otto asked, frowning.
“Aemma is pregnant. I fear, if she manages to carry to term, some might prefer Viserys over Rhaenys. If she births a boy…” Lord Corlys grimaced.
“A line of Kings, uninterrupted.” Ser Otto grimaced too.
“She will not birth a boy.” The other man said.
“We can't be too sure about that.”
“I should leave. I have to meet with the Queen in half an hour.” Lord Corlys got up and walked out, passing near you. He spoke the truth. You had read so this morning, on the Queen's itinerary. You tried hard to look very focused on counting your gold coins, despite the Queen having handed you the exact amount.
The silence stretched. Now, you could not hear them as clearly, but you were curious. So you stepped a bit closer and asked the cashier to warm your meat pies, trying to hear more.
“Make sure she does not give birth to a boy.” Ser Otto ordered.
“Trust me. She won't even announce it. I will make sure of it.” The hooded man's voice had a dangerous edge to it.
“We can't have threats to Princess Rhaenys around.”
“And future Queen Alicent, either.” The hooded man replied, his tone turning more teasing. You wondered who this Alicent was, and how they planned to place her on the throne. You did not know any Targaryen by that name.
“That, too. You will be rewarded handsomely, of course.” Ser Otto’s reputation did not indicate him to be humorous, but there was a hint of mirth in his words that could not be faked. He was pleased by the exchange.
“I would like to be Maester of the Red Keep, I think.”
One of the men laughed. The cashier knocked the counter in front of you, annoyed. He was handing you the heated meat pies, and expecting his gold. You paid him without a word. And as you walked towards the exit, bundled pies under your arm, you heard them toast.
“Hear, hear. To Grandmaester Mellos and Otto Hightower, Lord Hand.”
“And baby Queen Alicent.”
“And baby Queen Alicent.”
Your walk back to the castle was troubled. You were smart enough to know the implications of their talk. Did the Queen know? Considering they were meeting outside the Red Keep, it was doubtful. Besides, it didn't fit with what you knew about her. She may have disagreed with the succession, but she would never hurt her granddaughter.
Corlys Velaryon had left before the discussion took place. While as ruthless as his companions, the others seemed wary of involving him. Perhaps because, if the plan was discovered, it would affect Princess Rhaenys claim.
Your mind was racing. You had to tell someone. They were talking about murdering a babe not yet born! Would the Queen believe you? You knew her enough to know that she would not hurt you for speaking, but you doubted she would heed your warning. Instead, she would go straight to Ser Otto. A lowborn girl’s word against the word of a Maester and one of her advisors? The joke told itself.
Your other option was telling the Lord Hand. But Lord Baelor scared you. He was deeply protective of his children after the death of his wife. You didn't know him enough to know he wouldn't murder the messenger.
But you could not keep the memory tucked away either. It burned at you, when you were brushing the Queen's hair. When you were bathing. When you were attempting to fall asleep.
The hooded man said that Princess Aemma would not even get to announce it. Your time was running out. You had to do something.
#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon targaryen x you#daemon targaryen x female reader#daemon targaryen x y/n#daemon targaryen x fem oc#daemon targaryen x oc#daemon x you#daemon x y/n#daemon x reader#daemon fanfic#daemon fic#daemon smut#prince daemon x reader#prince daemon x you#prince daemon targaryen#prince daemon#daemon targeryen x reader#daemon targaryen#hotd daemon#hotd fanfic#hotd x reader#asoiaf fanfic#asoif fanfic#asoiaf#daemon#cristi's bingo#pyrite series
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The Rise and Fall of Career Success in Vedic Astrology
I just watched D Angelo Wallace’s video on Katy Perry’s downfall in her music career. I found it so interesting and wanted to know whether we could see this decline present in her chart. Which is why we’ll be discussing music artists who suddenly rise to fame, as well as the indicators of one’s decline in their career and why some are able to sustain this fame for such a long time.
Note: I’ll only be discussing the D1 and D9 charts, as well as using the Vimshottri Dasha systems. If anyone who’s more qualified or has a valid opinion regarding my research, please don’t hesitate to comment, I’m always open to learning more :)
~~~~~~~~~~
✨So what causes the rise and fall of someone’s success? ✨
To make a long story short, the answer is simply “Mahadashas”.
A lot of people have fame indicators as well as very favourable yogas in their charts but many won’t ever run through the favourable Dasha in order to experience these fruits in this life time. Or they may run through it too early or late in their life.
- The dignity of your Mahadasha/Antardasha planet is SO important. If the planet isn’t strong or atleast well aspected then you won’t be able to reap the full benefits of that planet.
- The D9 chart is extremely important, if the mahadasha is well placed in the D1 but not in D9 then we can see a rapid decline in one’s career.
Exhibit A: Katy Perry
Katy Perry is currently experiencing a massive decline in her music career. Why is that? During her peak in the 2010s, Katy was running her Saturn Mahadasha which was in great condition in her chart :
- Exalted in her D1 chart
- But also well aspected by benefics.
- Saturn is also a yogakaraka planet for her D1 libra lagna.
If we look at her D9 chart her Saturn still maintains it’s strength:
-Saturn is in Taurus (Venusian sign)
- Saturn Conjunct Moon
- The ruler Venus in its own sign
As we can see she had an extremely favourable Saturn, she was destined to achieve some sort of recognition and success during that mahadasha. Especially in Venusian pursuits.
In 2014 she entered her Mercury mahadasha. Many will tell you that after 2015 her career took a sharp decline. If we look at her Mercury in her D1 chart we see that Mercury is indeed in a favourable sign. Although it is negatively aspected by Saturn it is still receiving good aspects from other beneficial planets. Saturn is still considered favourable in her chart so why was the decline in her career so tremendous?
Once we look at the D9 chart we notice how Mercury:
- Is Debilitated in Pisces.
- The ruler Jupiter is conjunct Ketu
This shows us how Katy Perry needs to focus more on improving her Spiritual life rather than just the material world. Which is why her art is no longer connecting with the masses the same way it did during her Saturn mahadasha.
I would argue to say that the only reason why everyone is so aware of her decline is because she’s currently in her Rahu antardasha. She unfortunately has eyes on her but not in the way she would like. As we can see Rahu can indeed bring “fame” but its not always in our favour.
But what about the artists receiving this sudden rise to fame?📈✨
Exhibit B: Charli XCX
Charli XCX has been a well known artist for the past decade. She had her popular song “Boomclap” reach the charts in 2014, but ever since then a lot of people would say that she kind of flew under the radar since then. So what’s the reason for her sudden success?
She is currently in her Rahu mahadasha which she entered in 2013. If we look at her D1 chart Rahu is in Sag:
- the ruler Jupiter in Leo.
- Rahu is aspected by many benefics.
But once we look at the D9 chart we see that:
- Rahu is exalted in Taurus,
- with the ruler Venus exalted in Pisces
So this period is bound to be beneficial for her especially in her creative endeavours.
She rose to sudden fame when she was in her Rahu Mahadasha and Rahu Antardahsa in 2014. But then things went silent until late 2023 when she entered her Ketu antardasha which is exalted in her D9 chart.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she continues to remain successful during her Venus antardasha due to her Venus being exalted in the D9.
Let’s take a quick look at Sabrina Carpenter who’s also been receiving some traction.
Exhibit C: Sabrina Carpenter
She had previously (2004 - mid 2024) been in her Saturn Mahadasha, Saturn is neutral in her D1:
- Saturn in Aries aspected by Ketu and Mars
If we look at her D9 chart:
- Saturn is in Leo but still very much conjuncted by Ketu
As we can see the planet Saturn is not strong in her chart. Saturn is also well known for being a planet that reinforces obstacles, so the fact that it doesn’t have many benefic influences helping Sabrina ease into the process is very much seen in her career. Due to this Sabrina was less likely to get early/easy success. As we can see in this mahadasha she faced many delays, challenges and late success. Saturn is not denying any success but rather delaying it.
Sabrina has 5 studio albums and 24 singles. As we can see she had been releasing music for a very long time but hadn’t gained any traction. So what changed?
Sabrina’s career rose to success when she entered her Jupiter antardasha, if we look at her chart:
- Jupiter is well placed in its own sign Pisces, in both the D1 and D9, which is considered Vargottama which is extremely powerful in astrology. In Sabrina’s case it is yielding positive results.
However will Sabrina sustain this success?
Sabrina had recently (last month actually) entered her Mercury Mahadasha which she will remain in for the next 17 years.
I personally think that Sabrina’s career might have a subtle decline and remain neutral. She won’t continually get the same attention like we’ve seen in the past few months. Of course she will still have a huge following and have people interested in her music, but it won’t be as “huge” as the era she’s currently in.
Mercury is heavily aspected by malefics and isn’t making any impressive moves in her D9 as well. She might currently be in her “peak” and the public might slowly start to divert their attention elsewhere.
Then again Saturn is known to give you success (after hard work) which reaches great heights and sustains for a very long time, so I could be very much mistaken.
But who knows, that’s just based on what I’m seeing, I haven’t done a full on analysis but I would love to know what your thoughts are on this prediction👀
And what about those who remain successful for a long time?
So we’ve discussed what allows massive success in a Mahadasha. We’ve also discussed why some people who’ve previously experienced massive success but have a sudden fall from grace, well others experience a sudden rise and why it took them so long.
But I wanted to check this same techniques with other celebrities who manage to sustain their relevance and success for long periods of time.
When we see celebrities like Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Rihanna etc. who manage to remain relevant and still achieve success in their endeavours it’s usually because they’re experiencing a long Mahadasha which is well placed in both their D1 and D9.
And if they do change mahadashas, that usually means that the dasha planet is still benefic in their charts therefore the success pronlongs itself.
✨Bonus observation✨
I read this article by Shankar Bhattachrjee, where he discusses this technique when checking for successful Mahadasha periods.
And he mentions how even numbered Mahadashas are more successful periods compared to the odd numbered Mahadashas.
So for example: if you were born in a Saturn mahadasha, that’s your 1st Dasha (one being an odd number) so if this mahadasha prolongs for a long time then you’re more likely to experience a very a hard and challenging period in your life.
Once you reach the 2nd Dasha (two being an even number) in this example it would be Mercury, things during this Dasha are more likely to be more successful and beneficial during this time period.
And this continues on, so Dasha 1, 3, 5 tend to be harder compared to 2,4,6 Dashas.
So if you’re currently in your 3rd Dasha then you’re more likely to face hardships and struggle in your life.
Please read the article down below, he really does explore this in greater detail and more nuance.
But I found this to be very accurate especially studying all the charts I mentioned above, as well as other celebrities. Of course there will be one or two exceptions but I found this technique to be almost 90% accurate. I also found this very accurate when studying the charts of people that I know in my personal life.
I notice that celebrities tend to almost always shoot to stardom/success during their even numbered Dasha, and will sometimes decline in their success during odd numbered Dasha. I saw this present in Katy Perry, Selena Gomez, Beyoncé, etc. who are all currently having a decline in their career because they’re in their odd numbered dashas.
Of course if the planet is well placed in the D1 and D9, and your birth chart has a promise of success then things will manifest differently.
Eg: Billie Eilish and Ariana Grande, both rose to fame during their 3rd Dasha but they of course have multiple beneficial yogas in their charts and are going through a beneficial Dasha according to their respective charts. So they are the exception :)
If you haven’t you should check out more of his blogs on the website, he has some incredibly accurate and interesting astrological insights :)
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Zosan Brainrot. haha ahaha.
tysm to @11yogurts for finally motivating me to share my debilitating zosan hyperfixation online ily
My ABSOLUTE FAVORITE Sanji hc is that post-timeskip he has WAYY too many things that hes picked up from momoiro and the crew is absolutely fine w/it, but it drives Zoro BONKERSSSS because he has a big fat gay crush on Sanji.
Example 1 : Heels
Got this idea from a a fic i read about 2 years ago, can't remember the name for the LIFE OF ME or what it was about, but not it has me imagining a post-ts Sanji coming back from momoiro wearing oxfords with a 4-INCH HEEL, both for style and combat reasons. Zoro just assumes Sanji's grown taller (which he is kinda pissed about) and goes on about his life. I imagine the realization goes somewhat like this:
~~~~~~~
Zoro would pause to say something about how this is the second time this week they've gotten ambushed on the Sunny, but he's too busy slicing the barrel off another marine's shotgun. He renders another officer unconscious with the butt of his sword, then sheaths it after looking around to make sure no stragglers try to sneak up on him.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Sanji finishing off the group attacking him in a whirlwind of fire and shouted expletives - and then he sees it.
When Sanji arcs back into a handstand, the ankles of his tailored slacks ride up to his calves and What is the fuck is on his feet.
The shoes look like regular oxfords, laced black leather with a brown bottom - and a large, square heel at the back. Oh, they're heels, Zoro belatedly realizes.
Zoro stares, his face flushed and mouth probably wide open, as he watches the cook's blocky loafers take out a man's nose. Zoro should absolutely not find that as attractive as it is.
Sanji pivots on one of his hands, bringing both his legs in towards his torso before shooting up and over the gaggle of marines still chasing after him. He twists through the air, and Zoro can see the cook's muscled thighs contracting through his dress pants as he brings those fucking shoes down on another officer's head. The heels get spattered with blood as he delivers a sweeping kick to the rest of the men still standing, sending them sprawling across the deck.
Zoro is still frozen as the cook rights himself and dusts off his suit, patting down his pockets for a cigarette and lighter. The clacking of his heels against Sunny's deck as he heads to the galley match the rapid pounding of blood in Zoro's ears, and Sanji finally, finally catches his gaze from where he's heading to the galley.
He looks- breathtaking, evidence of the fight everywhere on him. Hair mussed, shirt missing two buttons, his exposed chest covered in a light sheen of sweat as he turns to face Zoro. his visible eye narrows and his mouth curls up into a smirk, taking in the dusting of red on Zoro's cheeks.
Before Zoro can say anything, Sanji's gaze shifts behind him and widens, and Zoro suddenly feels a sharp pain on the back of his head.
"OH, YOU FUCKER!" and Sanji's heels (the cook wears heels Zoro's going to fucking die) pattering over are the last things he hears before he blacks out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ahaha zoro being stupid and not paying attention to his surroundings because he's so distracted by Sanji in battle is CANON BECAUSE I SAY SO. i love them so much aksdjgfhadjkslhflkjsad
sorry for any spelling mistakes in this little ficlet but OHMYGOD i needed to get this out into the world and its currently 3am and i wrote this in like an hour. also First ever post???? yay me!!!!!! . also should i make more of these?? cause i definitely have more ideas. lmk (���◡≦)
#one piece hcs#zosan#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#one piece zosan#zosan canon!!#one piece#black leg sanji#gay gay homosexual gay#feeding the sanji wearing heels agenda#simp zoro canon#IM GOING INSANE.
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Interesting thing to consider regarding our situation from Magdi Jacobs. She’s been fairly levelheaded so far about all this. The Pandemic really did change us all and how we perceive things.
The constant stressful vigilance we all needed during the pandemic is still in effect from that era, and that’s why there’s such a disconnect between what we see and feel as true:
https://x.com/magi_jay/status/1812531377184653581?s=46&t=9ilK5pqP73XDblTtTbb4Qg
I don't disagree with her, and I know for a fact she also agrees with what I have to say here:
Covid is part of it, maybe it is its own thing, maybe it super charged something that had been happening in slow-mo before
but I think algorithmic social media is breaking all our brains and Covid locked SO many of us inside with it for a year and a half or so where our only "human" contact was through social media and that was NOT helpful
There's lots of studies about social media and anxiety and depression, we know algorithms intentionally put stories/posts that upset you into your feed, we know that social media causes negative polarization.
speaking just of my own experience on twitter over the last two weeks it really challenges your sense of reality, twitter very quickly forms a group think about a current event and it becomes overwhelming, also it destroys any sense of time and prospective, so nothing is allowed to just be bad it has to be THE WORST THING EVER! and from the debate and now Trump's fist pump after getting shot at everything is NOW! the election is not 4 months away with all the events that will take over the news, people are voting just this second and only based on this news story rn! AAHHHH!!! !
by its short form nature twitter makes it feel as if people are having a conversation with you, but your ability to reply and question their statements is limited and I think that makes for extreme anxiety if the group think challenges your understanding of events/reality. So Joe Biden had a bad debate night, sounded bad, looked bad, he was a sick, jet lagged, overworked, old man and looked and sounded like all of that. Oh well, but the group think quickly shifted to "this is the worst thing ever, he clearly has dementia!" and you were bombarded by that over and over, in more and more shrill and condescending tones. And it became very stress inducing because people were seeing something you didn't see and insisting "don't believe your eyes and ears! believe my hot takes!" and you felt like you were losing your mind.
This is one current event but this happens on social media all the time, twitter is bad, TikTok is worse.
I also think for "younger" (under 40?) people raised on reality TV, and more so instagram, Facebook, now TikTok picture and video based social media there's a, life as reality TV show quality, an unspoken performance and need to make our lives seem perfect for an unseen (and not real) audience, and also to be seen as having the right views, but living in quick sand where liking or using anything could become a problem at any point and having to keep up endlessly. I also think this is intensely anxiety producing and also just debilitating, I don't think you can DO anything good in the world with that mindset
final thought: I've said for awhile I think why you see so many people declaring the economy is bad, regularly saying its historically, Great Depression levels bad, when it is in fact really good, as near to full employment as we've ever had lots of great economic indicators is left over Covid trauma.
We all went through a scary, sad, upsetting time in our lives. But because we ALL did if nothing happened to you particularly, you didn't get hospitalized, don't have long Covid, no one you're close with died and you couldn't be there for them, it might feel like "nothing" happened. So people are reaching for a "logical" reason for that edgy, sad, nervous, upset, unhappy feeling they can't get rid of. Normally that comes from economic anxiety, fear of not having enough money, or losing a job etc. So many people are reporting that they think the national economy is terrible while saying they think they themselves are doing well, that their local or state economy (that they see an interact with) is doing good, while the nation is doing bad, somehow. People are spending like they're doing well as well, never had it so good, never felt so bad.
I suspect its because we're all still dealing with Covid feelings, and thanks to social media, the death of common spaces, political radicalization, we never really came together and drew a line under Covid, it just kinda sputtered out and we slowly went back to our lives like nothing happened.
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Just graduated, and I’ve been dragging myself by my hair through the last 4 years. here’s advice if you’re new to college:
Basic advice:
Make friends in your lectures. You will know some of those people all four years, and some of them are better at this than you. You’re still capable, but there’s always a bigger fish and you should make that fish into a study buddy
Get a job at a food court/ campus restaurant. You get a free meal, which might be your only one for the day if you don’t have a meal plan. Work can also be a mental break from academics.
Abuse office hours. Annoy your TA. make them scared to see you. TA’s are tired grad students and you won’t have a formal relationship with them: they are students too.
Study advice:
Flash cards are for review and rote learning only. 15-30 minute power review sessions for things you already know. If you’re going over familiar shit, do it in short, repetitive bursts.
Be the bitch with annoying decorative notes. Make it a game, it’ll force you to look at the material more. I will say though, make sure you decorate with purpose.
Those friends you made in lecture? That’s where you get the big studying done. If you’re going for a higher 4 hour long study sesh, bring other people. They know things you don’t and vice versa, so you can fill in the gaps for each other. This type of studying is for unfamiliar or confusing material.
Big study sessions usually only happen a couple weeks out from exams at most. Before exams, your homework is your main means of studying.
Just go to the lecture. I don’t care if it’s at 7:30 am, go. Participation points could be the difference between a B and a C.
TI-84 graphing calculator
Pub chem
If a professor, for some ungodly reason, says you aren’t allowed to work on the homework with other people, fuck that guy.
Your $168.99 textbook is likely a free PDF online.
Date someone who fills in your gaps. I dated an engineer I met in a physics class and it worked beautifully.
Mental health (my advice on this is very specific):
Basic advice: drink water regularly, eat vegetables, exercise. You know all this.
Stay far, far away from any substance called a “study buddy” or something like that
Get a hobby. Actually. Something to do in your free time to keep you from going insane. I personally like knitting and drawing, but it can be anything. I’d say avoid something involving technology because it’s easy to fall into that for hours at a time. Do something that engages your hands and your brain. You might not be creative, but creativity is good for you. Your painting looks like shit? The benefits you have reaped from its creation are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Good job.
If you are having any kind of hallucination (visual, auditory, presence, etc.), seek professional help immediately. I have lived half my life with the feeling of eyes on me and the presence of people who aren’t actually there and never tried to fix it because I could “work around it.” Just go get help. Hallucinations can also be a symptom of neurological issues and physical illness.
OCD and disorders involving psychosis are aggravated by stress. Your classes will stress you out. Disorders like this are scary and debilitating, so you absolutely need to be in therapy, possibly on medication. They also tend to be episodic, so you may have periods of recovery where your life quality improves. Do NOT be fooled: you still need to be in therapy even if you feel good. Preventative measures are the best measures!!
Social:
Get a job. Work friends are funnier and way more entertaining than any other kind of friend
I recommend a group of 2-4 people you chill with regularly. Movie night with them once a week (barring exam weeks and extenuating circumstances)
Talk with your roommates at least occasionally. It’s no fun living with total strangers.
Do not start smoking cigarettes. A lot of people are repulsed by the smell and it clings to you.
Hygiene. Mainly you should smell good. You don’t have to go crazy with an expensive perfume/ cologne, but shower and always have a decent scent. Also try not to wear stained clothes.
Not sure how useful this is, but it’s the first thing I could think of. I’ll come back and edit if I think of more.
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Top 5 Dick and Bruce moments or things
it's gotta be what faith tells dick in JLA (1997) #73
just the implications of it all. how bruce recognizes he hurts people, whether its criminals or the people who have chosen to love him. but still. still. he is immensely and immeasurably proud of dick. he can never say it, he wouldn't know how to even begin to tell dick how much dick means to him. also the crazy thing- we all know dick is insane about bruce and how endlessly devoted he is to him. but bruce is equally insane about him in his own neurotic way. he puts dick on a pedestal (he is right to) but just how fucked up of him. bonus scene from the obsidian run (#76) that always makes me grin:
2. this one is from robin: year one (2000) #4
so bruce fired dick after two face nearly beat him to death with a bat and dick ran away and managed to end up joining a league of assassins vengeance school under this dude named shrike. i won't bore you with even more plot but something about this panel just kills me. they're both so lonely and desperate for each other's partnership. bruce knows he miscalculated firing dick even if it was for dick's safety- dick isn't going to stop being a vigilante just bc batman said so (bruce u fucking idiot) and i think this instance of firing, while glossed over later in favour of the whole two-face of it all did sth that changed their dynamic fundamentally and irrevocably. it is probably the catapult for all of dick's future doubts and insecurities about his role and place in bruce's life. meanwhile, bruce giving dick agency in what he wants to do next- he needs dick just as much as dick needs robin. it's incredibly sad because i think there is a part of bruce that believes dick is only coming back to be robin, a doubt furthered when dick eventually forms the titans and loses all semblance of a life outside the mask.
3. this one is from outsiders: five of a kind - nightwing/boomerang (2007)
basically, dick decided to hand over the outsiders to batman and this is owen boomerang, the son of the guy who killed tim's dad. this is post-adoption so dick is more secure in his role as bruce's son. and just sth about how dick won't stand for people criticizing bruce, even when he might be thinking unfavourably of bruce. bc he can do that. but other people? no dice. also the added angst from owen talking about his own dad and his own version of legacy. i like to think dick probably felt some type of way about owen yelling out 'he was my father' bc while dick probably hasn't ever verbalized that, he has probably felt similarly.
4. batman (1940) #636
bruce brooding over the past. little does he know his second son is back and ready to haunt him literally instead of metaphorically lol. but anyway, this always makes me froth at the mouth. both bruce and dick have a tendency to look back on those years very, very positively and something about how nostalgia warps your memories but also how much of it is nostalgia and how much is truth? bruce is forever living in the past. @nighhtwing summarizes one of bruce's core truths in their fic Hereditary beautifully: Bruce has lived with grief longer than he’s lived without. It’s easy, then, to mourn this moment even as it’s in front of him, alive.
5. basically all of the comic batman/nightwing: bloodborne (2002). one of the most stellar pieces of bruce and dick writing. the art's a little funky but the story is fantastic. the devotion dick has. it's debilitating, it could kill him. it should have (thinking about the blast dick took for bruce in infinite crisis and how it was supposed to have killed him). the same toxin and anti-toxin runs through their veins. something about the intimacy and inherent religious imagery and nature of sharing blood. but it isn't even a cursory thought to dick. of course he will put himself in death's way if it means being able to save bruce. dick's biggest fear: being unable to save bruce like bruce saved him all those years ago. the way it all takes place on the anniversary of his parents' death. fantastic, killer, devastating show-stopping even.
#I could add so many more but these are the best ones that affected me viscerally hope u enjoy my brain rot anon <3#dick & bruce: you'll never recover from that kind of devotion#dick grayson#bruce wayne#asks
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heyo! loving the steddie dads. was wondering if either of them suffer from nightmares or ptsd after everything they've been through? and how they might deal with that on a day-to-day/anniversary basis.
Hi friend -- took some time on this one because this is a Topic for me.
Short answer – yes, 100%. I don’t think any person on the planet could experience that kind of thing and not come out of it with some serious issues to work through.
Longer answer, and not to abuse my psych degree, but it’s really tough to say how they would be affected 10, 20, 30, etc. years down the line because PTSD and trauma are both so unbelievably complex – for many reasons, but in part because PTSD can do two things (sort of) simultaneously.
Wane over time
Completely and permanently alter the “wires” (neural pathways) in your brain
I think that there’s sometimes this perception in the ST fandom that every character in the show who experienced a trauma would have PTSD by default, but that might not necessarily be true. Stats actually show that the majority of people who experience trauma in some capacity will in fact not display PTSD symptoms. I think Mike and Dustin at the onset of season 2 are a fantastic example of how two people can go through the same events together and come out of it affected very differently.
(Sidebar: I think Stranger Things has a fantastic opportunity to show how varied the effects of trauma can be. Granted, I don’t think that’s the story they’re telling, but they totally could.)
Experiencing a traumatic event is not necessarily a one-way ticket to PTSD symptoms and/or a PTSD diagnosis – to be clear, this doesn’t mean that there are not lasting negative effects from that traumatic event, but it is still distinctly different from PTSD (in its official definition) – and right now it’s not clear why this is the case.
I have individual thoughts about each character as it relates to what they specifically experience and how I think they would be affected by it long and short-term, HOWEVER I also recognize that I haven’t answered your actual question, so I digress.
Rather than dive into whether or not I think Steve and/or Eddie have PTSD, we’re just gonna call it capital-T Trauma and move along. You’re welcome.
Anyways, by the time Steve and Eddie (as they exist in this ‘verse) are in their fifties, I doubt that any residual effects of their Trauma would still be anywhere near debilitating. Generally speaking, they can go about their day-to-day lives without thinking about what they went through all that much.
I do think that those effects may temporarily worsen around anniversaries, but even that really isn’t all that noticeable by the time they hit the 2020s.
They’ll still occasionally have nightmares and I don’t think Steve ever fully lets himself believe that it’s truly done in a way that Eddie doesn’t relate to because he never had to experience what it’s like for it all to come back.
(Small potatoes, but I also don’t think Steve could ever own a dog no matter how much his daughters campaigned for a puppy when they were in elementary school).
I think the Trauma that Steve experienced shows itself in his adulthood when it comes down to raising kids.
I’ve talked before about how Steve has a moment when Moe turns ten where it kind of clicks for the first time just how young Erica had been when he allowed her to get caught up in everything. He hadn’t been able to see it until he was a fully-fledged adult raising a ten-year-old, but he gets really hung up on it, and then he spends the next few years being like – Moe’s eleven, that’s how old Eleven was when she broke out of the lab; she’s twelve, that’s how old Will was when he got stuck in the Upside Down; she’s thirteen, that’s how old Dustin was when he almost got eaten by demobats in those tunnels.
Then the girls start hitting their high school years and Steve starts realizing – oh, it wasn’t just the younger ones. I was also a kid still and put in a really fucked up position. It’s the thing that makes him truly see how few adults he had in his corner.
Eddie has a similar moment when Moe graduates high school and he realizes that his oldest daughter is as old as Chrissy ever got to be.
That being said I also don’t think Eddie gets as torn up over Chrissy as the popular opinion suggests but i’m a little afraid to voice that one lol
I definitely think Eddie and Steve never let themselves forget how Max, Chrissy, Patrick, etc. were vulnerable to Vecna’s curse because of a very specific circumstance – they were grappling with something internally that they didn’t feel they had the resources or people they trusted enough to address outwardly. Sure, they know that their kids aren’t at risk of being possessed and murdered by an evil monster, but the notion of bad things happening when people don’t have the support that they need is a very real phenomenon with very real consequences. By no means was that exclusive to Hawkins and it certainly didn’t go away with the Upside Down.
I think that this becomes the crux of Steve and Eddie’s mentality behind parenthood – to make sure that their kids never feel like they can’t go to their dads for support, to never allow their children to be in a position where they have to suffer in silence. That, to me, is absolutely rooted in the parts of their Trauma that re-wired their brains irreparably.
Anyhooooo this is really just the tip of the iceberg imo but this is long enough already lol (but if anyone wants to hear more about the Stranger Things-Trauma paradigm, let me know because I could probably talk about it for hours).
#sorry anon you tapped into a subject that i could probably give a ted talk on if asked nicely enough#liv’s steddie dads verse#steve harrington#eddie munson#tw: trauma#tw: ptsd
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