#i thought id be over all this by now
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#been awhile#not sure what got into me tonight#maybes its just the time ive spent away from you#or the time youve spent away from me#maybe its both#maybe its the things i want to say#or am too afraid to say#the things im afraid to admit even still#maybe its the person ive become#maybe its the person youve become#maybe its everything#i miss you#i thought id be over all this by now#maybe i do it to myself though#the grief isnt as bad as it was#but its still as debilitating as ever#nothing seems to be going right for me#but it makes me happy to know things are going well for you#its what you deserve#im happy to see you spread your wings and fly#and maybe someday we'll meet each other again#in the great expansive sky of life#i wish it were easier to let go#or at least wish i could find someone to fill the void#maybe its the pedestal i put you on for so long but no one could truly fill the void#one day at a time#things will get better#maybe one day youll see these
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found out that my bnha interest never actually left it just bided its time then activated randomly this month like a sleeper agent so. here’s these
#I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS GOD#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#art#uraraka ochako#aizawa shouta#todoroki shouto#kirishima eijirou#yaoyorozu momo#ashido mina#bakugo katuski#eri#eri bnha#really ive just been revisiting all my previous interests this year#rewatched hlvrai got back into jjk started talking anout kny again and now look at me#we’ve come full circle#to those of u who thought id never draw bnha again. me neither bro. but here it is
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his fuckass loafers im losing it
#snap chats#ill take like ninety personal screenshots once he's available in-game i just ripped this from a skin showcase vid#see i dont totally hate the beard anymore now that its been rendered and i can see it better. id still prefer clean but whatever#he kinda cute all regal an lookin like rudolf from fire emblem he makin me giggle a lil 🥰 ok ill stop idk what came over me#they didnt wanna put him in chanel boots they knew i woulda made a comment .....#anyways. I CANT BELIEVE I GET WANDA AND MAGS SKINS FOR MY BIRTHDAY LIFE IS SO GOOD#my brother is not being subtle in the slightest in saying he'll get me the battlepass despite my protests so. LOL 💀#the past three weeks he be like So What Do You Want For Your Birthday 👁️👄👁️#and then we find out the skins dropping my birthday and he be like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY 👁️👁️👄👁️👁️#LIKE GO AWAY STOP that so diabolical both of them are dropping this week tho .... i thought id have more time but no#marvels trying to kill me. beautiful woman and her cunty father thats so fucked up#i wish i could say this means i should play wanda more but the guilt id feel picking dps when 90% of the time we'd need a tank or support#just gotta bet he fastest hand in the west and have no guilt and pick dps ig ervkLEAJEAKL#anyways. im gonna go back to work FOCUS YOU FUCKER
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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Please don't crucified me if this headcanon is deemed unrealistic in real life. (´;ω;`) More notes / detailed notes:
stayed & travelled with the Figs for awhile -- after being found, before finally dropped of to an institution, as the Figs think their travelling life style is not really suitable to raise a child
quickly picked up civilization as he is an intelligent child (that's why he is a ravenclaw)
exchanged letters with the travelling Figs during his time at the institution / orphanage
was a really helpful child during his time at the institution / orphanage that he is close with the staff
he thinks of befriending people is a way of learning & by helping them he gets to experience a lot of different things
a mellow temperament child in general (just like how it is ingame)
likes exploring (bcs damn! we really going places in that game)
picked the silly 'Alex Xander' name himself, maybe he heard a mother called her child with that name once and he is obsessed with that name ever since.
he always writes Xander as his 'family name' to show that he is complete even without a family
actually a bit older than his classmates, as he went through extra few years to catch up to civilization as a feral child
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#anyhow i really love our barn owl; she's so beautiful but with a face like biscuit
#i can't stop thinking of how he is a child raised by the forest; so ... ; like; that's why he got clawed scars on his face and all .......#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#character sheet#student id#hogwarts legacy fanart#fanart#i was torn between the thought of fig adopted him for several years already; exactly after he retired from travelling#or they never had any contact with him after they dropped him off#and literally only met again when his magic awakened & noticed by hogwarts; and Fig be like; Aren't u that child?#and during their time together Fig is considering to officially adopt him as their child#it makes the end game so much sadder ; ~~ ;#like; they were just going to be family for real; and suddenly AUGH; and then what's gonna happen to him; that's another story#anyhow what's gonna happened with seb; i don't think he has any other guardians in the family; tho @nne can just whoosh! without guardian;#is legal matter doesn't matter in this world; ok ; no more headache; just independency & fantasy#fsh; knowing how his family is financially stable; 0minis would want to just adopt; but he would hate adopting @nne & seb to his family#pondering i wonder if any other prof would like to take custody over my child#or probably Figs have kind relatives that would take him in#aieehhh let's not think too hard for that part now#i am not a novelist for a reason#plot holes; plot holes everywhere#fshsfh anyhow i don't know wand flexibility is a thing#i was confused what to pick and just went with what they chose for me first#is that information even important or has any meaning at all
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Why do people keep saying they want Agatha to adopt Billy or that Billy is a motherless child or that Agatha is Billy's new mom.... Y'all he says Rebecca is his mom, canonically in the show. Agatha isn't his mom.
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#william kaplan#rebecca kaplan#billy maximoff#Agatha isnt his mome hes has enough moms hes got Rebecca and maybe Wanda in the future. for THREE YEARS Rebecca was his mom#put some respect on her name#i cant believe i have to keep saying this#agatha isnt his mom. billy isnt a replacement nicky. agatha cares for billy yes but why does that have to be she his mom now?#i love my nieces ans nephews are they my children? no. im their aunt. id still help them need be. agatha has no parental power over billy#i see her as more aunt figure or mentor. why does she have to be his mom? he has enough moms? i thought we settled on Fun Aunt Agatha?#a coven is a non traditional family unit why do we have to put them in traditional family boxes?#hell the whole kaplan-maximoff-shepherd dynamic isnt traditional its messy and complicated. why would you want to water it down?#...........#i saw someone on tiktok say they want Agatha to Adopt Billy....how. would that work? he has two. perfectly alive and loving parents at home?#he loves them? he talks about them? he calls them his mom and dad? he spent 3 years with them? they're not abusive or horrible people!#why would he leave them? again HE LOVES THEM! Did you miss the part where he hugges them and looks at them fondly and they love him?#you want the twin with shit parents that would leave them and never look back? THATS TOMMY!
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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Anyone else ever fantasize about a partner muffling sneezes against you, but not into you?
Like, not being a mess person, having no interest (or even revulsion) when it comes to actually having spray/mess touch you (even if near you is alright)
But you still crave that intimacy of someone hitching, feeling their chest rise and fall, watching their nose twitch, building up to that release, as they pull you close and muffle it against you~
Catching it in a tissue as they duck into your chest, Pulling you so close that they can aim over you, Stifling completely against your shoulder,
Just that dazzling intimacy of having them indulge against you, without the aspect of ~fluids~
#waterfalltalks#idk guys i had a dream where (for the second night in a row) snz occured#and this time some guy snzed OVER me- but not against me just over top of me- half stifling#and it.... yeah i never thought id wanna indulge that much irl bc the ~mess~ of it all kinda freaks me out#but like.... now these thoughts are rotting me inside out#snzkink#snz
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i made a part 2.......💀💀💀
(I put the cup confetti on grimace nightmare)
why did I make this
part 1
Dreamtale Brothers by Joku
#now this is just getting ridiculous#grimace nightmare is something i never thought id make#oh no i made a new au#i can see it now: grimace dreamtale#💀💀💀#in all seriousness this is so silly and i love it#Grimace nightmare was requested by tiktok ppl so BLAME THEM/J#anways#this is a joke#i know the grimace trend is over but i felt the urge to make this#lol#dreamtale#dreamtale brothers#undertale#utmv#undertale au#nightmare sans#dream sans#dreamtale dream#dreamtale nightmare#shitpost#grimace shake#hbd grimace#shivered art#sans au#silly goobers#i regret nothing
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Peni Parker anime. Can you see my vision
#ramblings#she'd be great in one. it'd be horrible for her mentally but the visuals would be sick#addy and aunt may dying but like. animated#fucked up mecha anime would be a fun spider person concept give her one right now#I read all her comic appearances over again and I'm having so so so many normal thoughts about her <33#it wasn't hard she does not have many#if I knew how to draw mechs id draw out some of the concepts I have cuz I've got at ton dude#peni parker#spiderverse#sp//dr
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i dpnt want to go hoooome
#i miss drawing but thats it#talkys#at rainforest cafe we had a really nice funny upbeat server#who ended up chatting with us and saying he is 26‚ was FINALLY able to leave home from his home state (not Texas)#to be here (Texas) and he gets to be out of the closet and stuff and its like I feel this could be me too like I Get It. ive been having Fun#being away and chatting with strangers and such#i want to be away...my voice being hurt today had me dreaming about being on T again#bjut also i rly dont know its hard to see a future myself even now that my friend is continuing to help me find it ykwim#like as a kid i never looked forward to any of it. puberty high school driving college career#i thought id get over driving once i Got There but ive been driving and all i can think of is how i wasnt born to drive at all. i hate it#idk how i cld survive away from home if the driving is so difficult. the driving we did today was so stressful. i cld not have maneuvered#it at all. idk. i wanna live away but idk that its feasible and even when it seems more feasible (employment out of town) it doesnt#(the driving. the living. the sustaining self and making sure he eats the maximum 1 meal per day. the Fear. ykwim)
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Do you guys wanna hear something else ive been thinking too much about?
How did paul exist after he blew himself up? Did pokey somehow put him back together? Did he manage to only sustain damage to his torso and therefore hidden by his suit jacket? Did he purposely remain silent once he was rescued and no one questioned it? Were they all already in on it, and just pretended not to be just to fuck with emma because pokeys a dramatic bitch?
Personally i headcanon that pokey saw paul going for the grenade and purposely placed all his little zombie people to surround him in order to protect him from the blast, just so paul would have to live with his voice in his head and controlling him. And knowing that emma is important to him, because we know he can read minds to a degree thanks to alices song, fucked with him even more by torturing her- giving her hope and then taking it away. The ol’ two for one.
#so i guess im saying i dont think paul died#instead hes aware in his mind of pokeys control#they might even speak to each other#kind of like with the let it out song but its all internal now#anyways im still on this#ya’ll are lucky im not posting every thought im having cause id probably get banned from over posting#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#paul matthews#emma perkins#paulkins#starkid#starkid productions
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pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.
#pulp speaks#anyways guys youre never going to guess what au ive been thinking of lately .#i know the correct way to go about this is make sidestep the main character but you see#i will not be doing that. and actually in fact i will not be following the storyline of persona 5 in the slightest. because lol#but morgana exists in this au purely because i dont think the others would survive without him explaining what the metaverse is 💀#the rangers are a team of detective for the public sector in this au#and dr mortum is an unassuming everyday scientist that should not peak the rangers interest in any way. at all#in the video game that exists in my head the player can pick between playing julia or ricardo#it doesnt change the storyline that much but it does make the character relationships funky so#in my head chen is best friends with julia and argent is best friends with ricardo#chen and ortega stumble into the metaverse together so if you pick julia its two best friends in a life or death situation#but if you pick ricardo its your sisters best friend+kinda your boss in a life or death situation which personally i find extremely funny#regardless of which ortega you play with the other one doesnt know about the metaverse until id say like. the end of the first palace? beca#use thats when they start getting suspicious#and because this is ortega they follow them and find out about the metaverse that way#i dont think they become a phantom thief but i think they do end up covering the others asses irl#dr mortum still isnt actually a doctor but i think theyre the one providing medicine to them at the start of the game#theyre extremely wary of the rangers at the start and ortega can barely convince them to sell them things which they still charge-#-extremely high over. i think the turning point comes when they discover the metaverse because holy fuck they are So excited about it#both because of the implications and what the metaverse could be used For#chen is not thrilled about letting them know this but theyre kind of their supplier so its not like he can argue#i think mortum joins the phantom thieves eventually but as a navi#obviously its in their best interest to provide everything for free now that theyre part of the team but they still have to order supplies-#-so i think the way it works out in game is that theres certain days supplies can be ordered and you have to pay for it but the items can b#-picked up at any day of the week#but also i have no idea how that would work practically (its all in my head anyway so it doesnt actually matter but yk)#theres still more thoughts about this but im ✨running out of tags✨ and also i cannot organize my thoughts enough to explain it#im not main tagging this its going to be my silly self indulgent au for eternity ok
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Fernando Alonso × Unconventional Drinking Implements
#if i had a nickel for every time nano drank out of a trophy id have two nickels. that's not a lot but its weird it happened twice#dont ask me if theres more i didnt have the mental capacity to look up all his podium pics...theres 20 years worth#but if you do have more somehow miraculousy do of course hit me up#this is one of these things i think that youd have to experience by watching a lot of races bcs finding it by keywords is impossible imo#though i did look up various trophies and now i want to make a tier list of trophies by drinkablity 😭#but yeah some people in the tags of the pics i posted were like 'he did exactly what i wanted to do![drink from the big cup basically]'#so this is like: hey! not the first time hes done it 🤭#but like if these are the only two times hes done it thats hilarious#bcs its been 18 yrs so was he suddenly like 'oh my god wait i just remembered what i can do with this'#but like the 2005 is the wcc win so it makes sense why he did smth so over the top#but this one i really really feel like he let the impulsive thoughts win and was just 'this looks like a giant cup....'#not pictured: flavio also drinking from the trophy. he was so indulgent of his boy 🥹#also i wonder if theres footage of him pouring in the champagne in 2023 cause i didnt even know he drank from it until i was looking at pic#cause thats my fav thing about the 2005 one is watching him trying to aim and pour it from way too high hahaha#oh also there is the brazil 2005 gp as well but he doesnt directly drink from it so i dont think it fits well here#but at the same time he really is looking at trophies like 'hmmm how well would this work as a cup'#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2023 dutch gp#2005 chinese gp#fa14#we do a little bit of f1#formula one
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I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.
#superman#clark kent#kal el#comics#dc comics#smallville#martha kent#jon kent#ma kent#pa kent#im gonna rant now. this isnt at you its at the dumb fuck who was commenting on my comment on tiktok.#YES! why the fuck wouldn't he be! he was ADOPTED to be adopted you gotta have the right paperwork in order. the person im mad at LITERALLY#SAID Clark was in an orphanage... lets put our thinking caps! if he was in an orphanage Ma and Pa gave him to the state and yk what! i bet#they thought he was an abandoned baby! no one knew he was an alien. if they didnt he would have been in a govt lab! and in a comic i read ma#and pa thought he was a nasa experiment! yk how they put dogs and moneys in orbit? they thought they did that with a baby! so they took him#ok ok ok then the person i was debating said ma and pa were CRIMINALS!!!!! THEY JUST SAID CLARK WAS IN AN ORPHANAGE!#SO MA AND PA FOUND A BABY. TURNED HIM OVER TO THE AUTHORITIES AND AFTER IT WAS PROVEN THAT HE HAD NO FAMILY THEY ADOPTED HIM!#all of that is legal! they made it sound like ma snuck into a house a stole a child! put some respect on the Kents!#and for why we were debating. he had to have been assigned an ID/ss number/citizen ship because he was to the govt an abandoned BABY#they made it sound like Clark was a 20 year old! he was at best a toddler. he didnt need to take a citizenship test or anything cus HE WAS A#BABY! he was just issued citizenship cus to the govt he was an abandoned baby in the usa WHERE EISE WOULD HE HAVE BEEN FROM!#cus i cant stress this enough NO ONE KNEW HE WAS AN ALIEN! (except maybe ma and pa)#the govt gave an abandoned baby in Kansas an us id cus THEY HAD NO REASON TO NOT BELIEVE THAT THE BABY FOUND IN A FEILD IN KANSAS WASN'T#BORN IN THE USA! and with all the paperwork they did on him they gave him us citizen rights like THE RIGHT TO VOTE#there are a million possibilities for why a baby would be abandoned in a feild in Kansas and it would take awhile to aliens#this is what i think the govt thought 'ok baby abandoned in a feild of a local couple. no family to be found. a young mother probably got#pregnant and didn't want to baby so she left it where a couple who couldn't have children could find them. oh look the couple wants to adopt#let them take the baby.' babys being abandoned was so common that safe haven laws were made to give mothers who didnt want their infants a#safe place to drop their kid off (usually a special box at a fire department or hospital)
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the way i draw is that i make several doodles in one canvas and close it when i run out of space so heres the first completed pikase canvas after however many days :3
the day after this post goes up im starting goretober on my main art blog so updates might slow down here or i might draw a whole fucking lottttt we'll see ^q^
#full canvas#not sure if if i add it to the main pikase piko fukase vocaloid tags#its just a milestone post :3#looking at this kinda makes me emotional#pikase has been my otp for like over 5 years#and im only now allowing myself to indulge in them more than the occasional daydream#i havent gone full self indulgent yet otherwise id be posting gore and the piko derivate pikase from a vocaloid rp im on#but these last few days ive done something i never thought i would do#and looking at all of it together makes me happy
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