#but its so bizarre to watch a show after working on it

[stardustandash]

both of the last two shows i worked on got released this week (one of which wrapped last june, the other in january). and the press i’ve seen for both of them is hilarious. one show’s pr is like... here’s a witty comedy about a shitty professor, starring well known actor and produced by people who made one of the most popular comedies of the last 20 years the other show’s pr (that i’ve seen) is very much HEY VANCOUVER LOCALS! MAKE A DRINKING GAME EVERY TIME YOU RECOGNIZE THE LOCATION!! WATERFALL THE WHOLE CAR CHASE ON THE VIADUCT

[changeling-droneco]

Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled

First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but

This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.

Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.

YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD

I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)

First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?

This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???

Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.

The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR

This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management

A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though

Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.

I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.

Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative

Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!

Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!

In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL

Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!

My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"

I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders

Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.

I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY

Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful

Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company

Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK

We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.

I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.

Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN

First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"

Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?

If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE

Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes

"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."

First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.

"What is the goal of our content?

To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."

That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign

"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"

Gross

"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."

Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors

"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."

It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.

"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.

How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."

If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd

"It’s okay for the boys to be childish

If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"

More favoritism

"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"

Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.

"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."

I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man

[cobragardens]

My Favorite Good Omens Moment:

An Essay on Why It Is Cool and Rad (Part 1)

There's this moment in Good Omens that makes me cackle every time I see it and leaves me full of warmth, so here's an essay on its context and meaning, because explication and analysis are how I show love. I will try to keep my thoughts as tight as possible, but they do have a tendency to spiral outwards, and I am very stoned. Come, sistren, and get nerdy with me.

My favorite moment in the series so far occurs in 1601. To approach it we will first need an assload of context. There's a TL;DR in bold at the end of the Context if you don't fancy reading the whole assload. Key arguments are in italics and bold throughout.

David Tennant gives Crowley a very consistent facial expression every time Aziraphale says something so outlandish Crowley can't quite believe he's hearing it. It's this one:

Chronologically, we see the Eyebrows of Disbelief twice before my fave moment in 1601: once (above left) in that scene on the Garden Wall that familiarizes the audience with Crowley's face before adding the dark glasses, when Aziraphale admits he's given away his sword; once when Aziraphale tells Bildad the Shuhite that he, Aziraphale, has Fallen because he lied to the angels to save Job's children.

The Eyebows of Disbelief always signal surprise and amusement with something Aziraphale has said or done. This amusement is sometimes at Aziraphale's expense and sometimes not.

In the gifs above, Crowley is laughing because what Aziraphale has just admitted to doing is fantastic and unexpected and frankly pretty gd punk rock. He's not laughing at Aziraphale, he's laughing because he is delighted with him. The only record we have thus far of Crowley laughing at Aziraphale is this one:

Crowley laughs when Aziraphale informs him--him, a demon who has personally been through the process of Falling--that Aziraphale is Fallen and must be a demon now. As though of the two of them Aziraphale is the expert on how and under what circumstances this occurs.

And yet when Crowley sees Aziraphale's distress--not his fear of being taken to Hell, but his heartbreak and lostness over the fact that his conscience has diverged from God's stated will--Crowley stops laughing, and instead he acts very kindly towards Aziraphale. He validates the gravity of what Aziraphale has done and assures him he won't turn him in. He sits with him so Aziraphale isn't totally alone (like Crowley probably was) as he goes through the loneliest moments of his existence to that point and picks himself up newly weighted with the secret he must now bear.

And after this scene (in canon as it stands thus far), we don't see Crowley laugh at anything Aziraphale says or does again.

And he really has to work for it sometimes. We talk a lot about the things Michael Sheen is able to convey with his face in Good Omens, and absolutely rightly so; David Tennant earns a chunk of his paycheck in this regard as well. If you haven't given yourself the treat yet, rewatch the scene in Will Goldstone's magic shop in 1941 and focus on Crowley's reactions:

Tennant takes great care to show, with precision, that Crowley is expending effort not to react to Aziraphale's nervous chaos Muppetry and lack of self-awareness. Crowley is self- and socially and contextually aware enough that he knows (better than Aziraphale, at least, which is not a high bar to clear) what's cringe, what's funny, what's ridiculous, how to behave. But whenever Aziraphale crosses a boundary of normalcy, or even sanity, and there is opportunity to laugh at him, Crowley very carefully doesn't react. He doesn't interrupt him, he doesn't try to correct him, he doesn't make fun of him, he doesn't even smirk; he just watches him, as stone-faced as he can manage, no matter how bizarre Aziraphale becomes.

We should be reading this lack of reaction to Aziraphale's social and rational transgressions as powerful positive action. Go watch the Doctor Who episode "Human Nature," or literally any episode of The Inbetweeners, or read or watch Regeneration, and reflect on what it shows you about English masculinity; then consider again the depth of significance in how English- and male-coded character Crowley treats English- and male-coded character Aziraphale in an England created by an English and male-codedpresenting author based off a book written by himself and another male-presenting author. Within its context of English masculinity, Crowley's lack of reaction is not a neutral stance; it is a very fucking loud show of support.

This is not even an inference; it's stated outright in the show. Crowley himself puts it into words 422 years after my favorite moment:

You know how Crowley calls Aziraphale "angel" because the factuality of the descriptor offers him plausible deniability to any Heavenly or Infernal agents who might be listening? Remember how Crowley is a great equivocator? Crowley is equivocating here, too: he's using the cover of what Maggie and Nina will take as a disparaging joke at Aziraphale's expense in order to make a perfectly sincere statement. This is his genuine perception of one of the relationship dynamics he has with Aziraphale and how he feels about that dynamic. Crowley thinks he himself is quite witty (an accurate assessment), Crowley thinks Aziraphale isn't sufficiently self- or contextually aware to hide how strange he is and therefore frequently says and does mad things (also an accurate assessment), and Crowley is Into. That. Shit.

Okay. Now let's look at 1601.

Chronologically it's been almost 1,000 years since we last saw Aziraphale and Crowley. In 537, Aziraphale isn't willing even to consider a labor-saving working arrangement with Crowley of fucking off home out of the damp of Arthurian Wessex; but by 1601, he's worked (and met, and Arranged) with Crowley "dozens of times now," Crowley says, and Azirapahle does not correct him.

In that millienium, Aziraphale has grown to care deeply about Crowley:

In fact he may be somewhat smitten with him:

Seriously, go back and watch Aziraphale here as Crowley approaches and starts speaking to him: he doesn't start smiling until he recognizes that the person speaking to him is Crowley (but he only smiles at Crowley while Crowley's not looking at him).

And Crowley is definitely become smitten with Aziraphale:

Our man(-shaped entity) is so allergic to work he sets up a meeting to weasel, cajole, or (as it happens) cheat a coin toss to get Aziraphale to do an easy temptation for him in Edinburgh, and then in the same conversation agrees to miracle a play into success because Aziraphale gives him a single hopeful look. Crowley's got it bad.

TL;DR: The Eyebrows of Disbelief happen when Crowley is surprised and amused by something Aziraphale has said or done. Sometimes that amusement is delight with Aziraphale; sometimes it is at Aziraphale's expense. Crowley is aware of this distinction, and when his amusement is at Aziraphale's expense, he suppresses it, even when it takes some effort on his own part, and remains stocially composed. This is equivocation on his part: to Celestial/Infernal operatives lacking knowledge of the intricacies of human behavior, this non-reaction would seem like neutrality; to Aziraphale, who shares with Crowley and the audience the contextual knowledge of English masculinity's utter viciousness, this non-reaction is a profound show of support; and in the safety of support from Crowley, Aziraphale lets his weirdness blossom.

As another meta points out [link if I find it again], we also see in Aziraphale's wordless request about Hamlet and Crowley's immediate understanding of it that by 1601 Aziraphale and Crowley have developed an unspoken, coded method of communication with each other.

Now that we have all of that in mind, here's my favorite moment in Good Omens:

Ixi of Fuck Yeah Good Omens has even kindly archived a closeup of the aftermath, for Crowley, of "Buck up!" In gif 4, above, you can see that the tiny smile is an involuntary reaction that happens as Crowley's eyes widen: for a fraction of a second, he's caught off-guard. In the closeup it's easier to see that he suppresses the smile and gives a tiny shake of his head, Eyebrows of Disbelief heading for his hairline.

There are a number of things Crowley's reaction could mean and what messages it could communicate (we'll get to that in a sec), but regardless, his reaction is, unquestionably, one of surprise and suppressed amusement. This is an aspect of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship and characters that I like very much, viz., that one of the reasons Crowley likes Aziraphale (though Aziraphale is judgy and occasionally, unintentionally, horrifyingly cruel) is that in addition to being one of the kindest and most courageous beings in existence, Aziraphale is mad as a bag of frogs. Crowley does not know what is going to come out of Aziraphale's lovely mouth next, but Crowley does know there's a good chance he will struggle to believe he's hearing it, and Crowley likes that.

That's what makes this my favorite moment. What makes this moment so cool and rad, though, is its ineffability. We know from the Eyebrows of Disbelief that Crowley is surprised and amused, but any of several things could be read in that almost imperceptible headshake. Like:

What are you doing? or

Why are you like this? or

How can you be aware that you say these things out loud and yet still say them out loud? or

How has my existence come to this? this moment of listening to such insanity?

each of which is a fair and just feeling to have/message to communicate to a man(-shaped entity) who is yelling "Buck up!" at Hamlet.

But that's only if we read Crowley's amusement as being at Aziraphale's expense. And I don't think we should. Because watch Aziraphale here:

He's doing it on purpose. He is shouting a hilariously inappropriate, 100% authentic Aziraphale-brand thing over arguably the gloomiest passage of Shakespeare's famously gloomy play--right after Crowley complains about its gloominess--and he is watching Crowley as he does it. Look at his smile! He knows he's being Deeply Uncool, and he is doing it literally right into Crowley's face.

Remember that we just talked about how by this point in the chronology Crowley and Aziraphale have learned to communicate with each other nonverbally through facial expression? So what does it mean when Aziraphale responds to Crowley's grumbling about Hamlet's gloominess by smiling his minxious Mona Lisa Aziraphale smile, looking right into Crowley's face, and yelling at Hamlet to buck up? Aziraphale, in a carefully coded, carefully Aziraphale way, is joking with Crowley. His silliness in this moment is for Crowley.

So with aaaaaaallllll of this essay in mind, what does it mean that Crowley's reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" is widening eyes, an involuntary twitch of his mouth toward a smile, and then, his eyebrows still showing surprise and amusement, a tiny shake of his head?

Once more, with inferences:

I do propose, y'all, on the basis of this web of evidence I submit for consideration, that what we are seeing here in my favorite moment of Good Omens is the ineffable equivalent of Aziraphale and Crowley sharing a laugh.

Crowley's amusement here isn't at Aziraphale, because Aziraphale is eliciting that amusement consciously and deliberately. Aziraphale, in good spirits and happy to see Crowley, uses his Aziraphaleness to offers Crowley not only an opportunity for amusement, but the opportunity to be in agreement with him about what in this situation is funny. They're on the same side of this joke.

And his humor lands just as he wants it to: Crowley, just for a moment, is caught off-guard, and tickled--

But remember, Crowley is worried in this scene about being surveilled ("I thought you said we'd be inconspicuous here"), and he worries about audio surveillance a lot ("Walls have ears"; "Don't say that. If my lot hear [etc.]," etc.), so he's very limited in what reactions he can show or voice. Aziraphale knows Crowley must be perceived by anyone watching or listening to disapprove of his, Aziraphale's, behavior (just as he must be perceived to disapprove vociferously of Crowley's). Both of them know this.

--so Crowley suppresses the smile almost successfully, and shakes his head at Aziraphale, minutely, to say Stop. What you're doing is working, you're close to making me laugh, and if I show how much you have just delighted me, it will blow our cover of "just an Arrangement."

I offer three final data points in advancing my argument that what we see in my favorite Good Omens moment is Aziraphale successfully attempting to joke with Crowley and Crowley recognizing that overture from Aziraphale and being momentarily surprised into a reaction of genuine delight before pulling his face back under control and indicating to Aziraphale that he must stop:

Datum 1. Nothing going on with Crowley's face in this moment is accidental. We know for sure we're not seeing David Tennant react to Michael Sheen here not only because of literally every other point of Tennant's and Sheen's performances in the show, but because Tennant is wearing opaque contacts and sunglasses under film lighting and therefore cannot be reacting to anything more compelling than a level-10-lift blur because Tennant cannot see shit. Crowley's reaction is a deliberate and careful performance choice on Tennant's part, and it's underscored by director Douglas Mackinnon's choice to film Tennant in 1/2 profile to keep Crowley's eyes visible and face readable to the audience. This reaction is supposed to be there and supposed to be meaningful.

Datum 2. The husbands in 1601 is not the only moment in Good Omens when we may be seeing an angel and a demon communicate the message Stop doing that, it makes us look too familiar between themselves with a little headshake:

Datum 3: There is another moment in Good Omens when Aziraphale offers Crowley the opportunity to enjoy a joke with him. There, too, his humor lands just as he intends, so we can use this other moment as a comparison to our 1601 moment. I don't have gifs for it, but go back and watch it, S1E6 49:27-42. Snips below.

Aziraphale says something that surprises and amuses Crowley (he asked Hell for a rubber duck while he was sloshing around in the holy water)--

--but what Aziraphale says makes Crowley smile long before it makes him laugh.

In fact, his laugh, though a genuine cackle, is quite delayed, and he laughs only after Aziraphale starts laughing too.

In other words, Crowley's reaction to Aziraphale offering him amusement they're both on the same side of is exactly the same as his reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" right up until he laughs instead of shaking his head. Here, after Armageddidn't, Crowley doesn't have to suppress his reaction, so he can let the smile bloom; he doesn't have to control his response, so, although it takes him a few extra seconds, he lets the smile turn into a laugh.

But in 1601, it's not safe to laugh at Aziraphale's humor. It's not safe even to smile at him. A single piece of evidence or eye/earwitness testimony that he and Crowley have anything more friendly than the most passing and acrimonious of professional relationships could mean death to either or both of them, and depending on what Falling is like, maybe something worse than death for Aziraphale.

But Aziraphale is so funny, so effervescent for Crowley, at Crowley, that it catches Crowley just for a moment. Crowley's eyes widen and the corner of his mouth twitches toward a smile.

And that's dangerous. If Aziraphale keeps acting so charmingly mad, Crowley is going to laugh, and they can't afford that risk, so he shakes his head at Aziraphale. Stop, or I won't be able to keep a straight face around you.

And Aziraphale apparently receives that message, because he immediately eases off. Less than 60 seconds later we learn that he's deeply concerned for Crowley's safety--and that it's not so much that Aziraphale has Crowley wrapped around his little finger as it is that Crowley has wrapped himself around Aziraphale's little finger like a snake arranging itself on the tree branch it calls home.

UPDATE 14/10/23: HOLY SHIT Y'ALL IT GETS EVEN BETTER! THERE IS A SEQUEL!

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

One show ends this week, but there are several more on the way, including a surprising adaptation. Of the six shows airing now, five are streaming weekly on Gaga and the other is available via fansub.

Takara's Treasure

I. LOVE. THEM. Their little bird watching date was precious and I loved every moment of it, including Taishin's adorable outfit and over preparedness, Takara's secret smiles, and the patient search for the wallet. I was so relieved that Taishin named his fears about them not being suited upfront instead of letting it grow into a huge anxiety in his own head, and I was also happy Takara was eager to speak with him about his impending relocation. That said, NOOOOOOOO I don't want a forced separation and time skip, show. Please I am begging.

Cosmetic Playlover

This was my favorite week for this show by far, because they actually let us see the relationship at its center! I enjoyed finally spending some time with these two as a couple, though I still find the timing and sequencing of these plots confusing as hell. Last week Sahashi gave Mamiya keys to his place and it was implied they'd been dating for quite awhile and were already serious, but this week we learn Mamiya has never spent the night and they are only just having sex for the first time. It was a real record scratch for me; I can't get my bearings in this relationship trajectory with all the gaps in the story. But hey, at least they finally let them make out a little! For a show that sold itself as toxic sexy, there has been very little toxicity or sex, tbh.

I Hear the Sunspot

*rubs temples* This show is really testing my patience. I got excited last week when Kohei and Taichi finally had a real conversation and it seemed like we were moving forward, but this week we're back to treading water. This story did not need 12 episodes; this pacing, while faithful to the manga as I understand it, does not work well for weekly live action. It's been weeks since we've learned anything new about these characters or advanced the central relationship, and the show continues to stumble with its confused depiction of Maya. I just want this show to pull together and finish strong, because I think a lot of this will be much more tolerable on a binge watch. For now I will just gaze at Kohei's beautiful smiling face and hope for a full recovery.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

I said last week that the show had gotten so muddled I didn't think they'd be able to end well, and even with those very low expectations this finale still managed to get underneath them. The last several episodes made a mess of the characters, the conflict, and the themes of the show, and to add insult to injury, they capped it all off with angle kisses, a time skip, and a bizarre sex negative ending that had our "boob monster" adult lesbian refusing to have sex with her girlfriend for over a year so she could "cherish" her before randomly kissing her at the office as if that was the important resolution we'd been waiting for. A truly horrid ending that ruined everything this show did so well in its early episodes. I don't understand!! Big sigh and fingers crossed for a decent sexy gl sometime in the near future.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

I've just been beaming and staring into space for the last several minutes after finishing this episode. No matter what else happens in the shows, I love knowing I am always going to end my week in jql on a good note while this gem is airing. This week marked a transition point for Ishida and Mitsuya, as Ishida had a great conversation with Noguchi, found a new passion and put in for a job transfer, and had his final meeting and meal with Mitsuya as writer and editor. Which they immediately followed with a date and mutual acknowledgment of the feelings between them! And what a fantastic date it was, with every moment so invigorating and wonderfully adult. Mitsuya's quiet confidence and amusement at Ishida's nerves, Ishida's clarity on how he wants Mitsuya to see him, the mutual compliments and gestures and smiles and eye contact, ahhhhhhhhh. I also loved that Ishida got to be the one to show Mitsuya something new at the end, to get him to run with joy for the first time in ages and introduce him to a new food. I am so excited to see their dating era begin in earnest. You can find the episode with subtitles courtesy of @isaksbestpillow here.

Tagging @bengiyo to add this week's anime update.

[yan-lorkai]

How about an undertaker with a fem Vampire s/o?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: He is such a silly little guy, I love him. And I love this rq too since I absolutely adore vampires! Hope u like it too!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, fem reader, very brief mention of the bizarre dolls, otherwise, this is just fluff <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Undertaker has seen thousands of immortal creatures, however, this is the first time he has seen a vampire. And even more so, one as beautiful as you. As they say in the legends, your skin is so soft to the touch, your eyes dangerous and treacherous, your beautiful smile showing your sharp fangs. And he feels enchanted by you. But what enchants him the most are your jokes, even if they aren't good, they make him laugh until his stomach hurts and he cries.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ As a Shinigami he knows how immoral it is to harvest a soul before its time, but if you want to kill some people to feed on them, Undertaker wouldn't stop you. Instead, he would cover your tracks so that no one would know who the killer was. Or, if you don't hunt people but animals, he would help you, even though he didn't have that much experience with traps.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Loves watching you hypnotize people to do something you want or just for funsies. You and Undertaker usually play with people as if they were your dolls, just another harmless play. But you two do get reckless sometimes.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He buys the best dresses to accentuate your beauty. Then he praises you, he would praise you even if you were covered from head to toe with blood. He might even get down on one knee to propose.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Absolutely melts when you kiss his scar, he might or might not tell you the story about how he got it.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He makes you skull bracelets and necklaces, so you know that he is never a part. And it's imbued with his own shinigami magic so he knows where you are. Is never a coincidence when he met you at alleyways or crowded places, he wasn't just passing by, he know you never would do something to spoil your relationship with him but he is a clingy Shinigami that likes to drap himself on top of you like a cat and to fill your face with kisses.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ On the surface level he is sweet and caring, and he truly is, he loves spoiling you and acting silly to make you laugh - your laugh makes him giggle so this turn into a vicious cycle. But he is just as possessive as much as he gentle with you. He'll do anything you asked, anything you wanted, but only if he can get you whole, only if you depend on him and think only of him. Even if you don't, Undertaker has his ways to do things.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ After a while, when you two get serious, he is much more open about his past with you. He even let's you hold his scythe and absolutely love the look on your face, it's so precious how you spin it around and carefully analyze the skull at the top. You ask him tons of questions on it and about shinigamis. If you're lucky he might even tell you his true name.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ To prevent anyone from speaking ill of you, Undertaker has you working on the mortuary as his assistant. Though he hates when that butler's stare lingers on you a little longer. You're his beloved, you're beautiful but people shouldn't look at you like this, even worse, that demon shouldn't even be near you. Undertakes gets impossibly jealous when he and the little brat are gone. And of course you have to be the one to placate his burning heart, to ease his worries or else you have to deal with a cranky god of death.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You sometimes help him make his bizarre dolls and he loves it so much, guiding you to every step and explaining why he is creating them and for what purpose. It's a little strange but when you two are bonding over anything, it's bounded to be this way. Death surrounds you two daily and now it seems like a good ol' friend, welcoming.

[fazedlight]

What's Wrong with 5B?

(aka: how It’s a Super Life ruined everything)

The premiere of season 5 was simple. Kara fucked up, felt deeply sorry for it, and revealed her secret to Lena (driven solely by her guilt) after far too long of gaslighting her. Unfortunately, it was a bit too late, Lena was already (rightfully) pissed and about to exact a(n outsized) revenge about it. Easy peasy.

We see Kara struggle with it a little. She gives Lena the superwatch, looking super guilty the whole time. She brings Lena international treats, talks to Alex about how she’s nervous about interacting with Lena. But she seems to have underestimated the damage she’s caused - and Lena is going through a major disillusionment. 

Both of which are mostly in character from my perspective. But with the caveat that, I knew the basic summary of the Rift before I watched the show. So those were moments the characters were already building to in my head. (I know some people think that Kara’s reaction in season 3 was out of character, or that Lena’s reaction in 5A was out of character, and those are valid opinions that are worth exploring! If I watched the show unfold live, maybe I’d be in that camp too.)

We then see Lena’s betrayal and Kara scrambling to pull Lena back from the edge into an anti-villain arc. The Crisis happens, Kara visits Lena, and Lena calls Kara out - “What did you think would happen when you came here? That you'd tell me everything in a fit of selflessness, even if it meant that I knew how you betrayed me, and then I'd just keel over and forgive you?” Kara still knows she did something wrong, and vows to never do it again.

Aaaaand then It’s A Super Life (beloved/beloathed) happens.

I really liked the episode the first time I saw it. I was a supercorp shipper who hadn’t read a single fic. And on its face, I mean, they dedicated the entire 100th episode to the relationship between Kara and Lena and trying to repair it. It failed, sure, but they'd make up eventually (again, I was spoiled).

But that episode was really about absolving Kara. It was a bizarre conclusion. Kara no longer had fault, because any reality they tried out would’ve failed. … which makes no damn sense. Even if no reality could work (I’m skeptical), Kara didn’t know that at the time she made her decisions. She still has fault for the harm she knew she was causing (even if it happened to work out better than the alternatives she didn’t know about).

I think this is a narrative shift. This isn’t just about the in-universe “Kara believes she’s absolved”. This is a writer's ploy to change the narrative and make the audience think that Kara didn’t have fault. Writing this as a character flaw might’ve worked, maybe, if they had Kara reexamine her assumptions later. But as a narrative? … the shift fell completely flat.

The rift was canceled at this point. Suddenly it was no longer the story of two people’s flaws interplaying in the worst possible way. Suddenly it was: Kara is right, Lena is wrong, let us never speak of it again.

It makes everything that comes after really grating. The end of 5x19 (where Kara goes “maybe I’m ready to forgive you now” and shakes Lena’s hand) feels completely empty, because there’s no acknowledgement from Kara that she fucked up - a fact she fully understood at the beginning and middle of the season! It bleeds into season 6, where we never see Lena hash things out with the superfriends or with Kara post-return. It makes the finale (Lena’s “You made me a better person”) fall flat. At this point multiple people in the fandom have pointed out that it’s Melissa’s acting that is Kara’s saving grace (though even that has limitations, as many of us felt with Sadie). But Kara as a character really suffers - and with it, her relationship with Lena, and Lena's arc - because the writers did not make a convincing argument for their shift. 

The hero’s always right, I guess? The main character can’t have major flaws? (I hope someday we learned what instructions they were getting in the writing room 😂)

For my own sanity, I have a whole slew of conversations(/arguments) in my head that I place into season 6 to fix some of this (as well as making Mxy a liar who was trying to make his friend feel better, rather than those other timelines being real). But while they’re canon-compliant… they aren’t canon. What we needed was something on screen to make the relationship shine again, to have Kara revisit why her rationale absolving her in the 100th episode didn’t follow at all, and have Lena work through her issues with Kara and the rest of the superfriends. But we didn’t get that.

Which means everything post-100th will always feel wrong to me.

[bingusbongu]

May I humbly request some Dr. Flug general dating hcs.. (hES SUCH A LITTLE GUY RVRGGGRGRHR)

-🖋

A/N: SORRY IM ALITTLE LATE URG URG URG, well, i did do some Flug canons awhile back, BUTTTT since he is my favorite character of all time ill do some more:) I WANNA KISS THE BAG MAN. Also im going to be trying out some tumblr post styles in the next few posts i do to actually make my work appealing and attract more people! So dont mind if it looks different^^

SORRY THIS IS KINDA LONG I HYPERFIXATED SO BAD

《 Masterlist 》

《 Rules 》

TW: Stalking, mentions of neglect and abuse, murder and insane scientist behavior , mentions of starving,

Dr. Flug General Dating HCS

• okay, the fact that he even managed to start dating you is truly bizarre to him. Even the fact you found out he liked you was by pure accident

• you either found out from Demencia who spilled the beans on accident while blabbing about the doctor, or Flug accidently fumbling out an "i love you" after you either do something for him while he wasnt paying attention.

• though, it worked out right after he found himself with a partner, and he STILL is so befuddled about it

• does not know a single thing about being in a relationship. You are going to have to be the one taking the lead. Slowly showing him the ropes of how a relationship works. He litterly took notes while you tried to explain everything to him, ITS IMPORTANT TO HIM OKAY??????

Once he gets an understanding of how a relationship works, he kinda starts,,, watching you abit more? Not only is he worried about you but he also tries to figure out your favorite things. He gets even more observant of you. Documenting you like you are some wild animal.

oh? You like a certain food? Writing it down. Certain type of chocolate? Writing it down. Special interest? Favorite music? Favorite animal? Favorite color? Everything about you he has down in his brain and his notes.

• though, he is usually to busy to actually go out and buy you certain things, so, instead, when he occasionally had time, he might tinker something small for you or fix something you need up! Just go to him and ask! Or if you dont, you might find it mysteriously fixed the next day

if YOU get him something, he has to stand there and pause for a second. You, got him something? You took your time to pick him out something? You put thought into a gift for him? He absolutely gets butterflies. And when i mean Butterflies, i mean he gets BUTTERFLIES. He stutters a thank you so bad as he is stimming in his spot.

if its an item like a plane thing he treasures it SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. He will start crying. Anything you buy for him or make for him, he puts it up somewhere so he can always see it, always. When he gets stressed he will look over at it and it automatically calms him down its SO SWEET

• he is so nervous to initiate physical affection that he clams up. He has gone so long without any actual form of touch that isnt to harm him, that he completely forgot what gentle touch feels like, so you are going to have to go slow as to not overwhelm the poor baby:(

Starting by holding his hand, gently slipping it into his own hand during a random time like just walking. He nearly jumps, but once he notices, he gets so flustered just by the little hand holding that he eventually slowly closes his fingers around yours in a gentle hold.

Occasionally putting your hand on his back when he gets upset or angry ir stressed is a MUST, He immediately relaxes

I think he needs a massage, like desperately. Rub this mans shoulders, rub his back gently. He shivers at your touch but completely folds. He has so many knots in his back its sad. So, occasionally, Flug will let you try abd work them out for him

Cuddling would take awhile im the relationship. He still gets so flushed under your gentle touches, that he has to adjust. Once he does though? You best believe he is coming to you for it. After a long day, he will go and find you and collapse into your chest while mummering something and letting you coddle him while listening to him rant, and MAN he appreciates it. He also likes it sometimes when you just are quiet together and he isnt doing something and leaning on eachother. Either he is tinkering or reading something and your are next to him with your head on his shoulder. Its really nice for him to get some quiet.

• kissing??? That also advances over time. You have to start slow. So your first move is definitely a cheek kiss. Slipping one onto his bag on one occasion, he nearly overheated and passed out. Like actually fainted

your form of kissing is just you occasionally pressing soft kisses to his bag. Which would usually happen in the mornings, when no one is looking in his lab, or at night. But each time he nearly explodes.

ACTUALLY kissing him though???? A DREAM. he has to get used to your bag kisses to actually think of kissing you for real. And he gets so flustered by it. Everytime you kiss his bag he cant help but wonder how an actual kiss with you would be like. So, he would stop you one of the times after you kissed him, and shyly ask you for a real kiss. He nearly coward out of it when you happily agreed. Though, you gave him his time, as he lifted his bag up only ever so slightly, and you leaning in to kiss him

Mfs heart actually almost stopped GIVE HIM CPR STAT. It was just a quick kiss, but you had to catch him from falling over before he passed out again

Will occasionally give you kisses back, mainly in the mornings before he goes straight to work, he gives you a little kiss and sluggishly leaving to slave away.

• Dates are alittle tough. Flug is ususlly pretty busy, but, atleast once a month you guys go out with eachother, going who knows where but enjoying some much needed time together

• cant flirt for the LIFE of him. Its always something science or plane related. Its adorable yes, but he doesn't have no capability of flirting with anyone, even if he tried.

• your guy's relationship is very secretive. Especially with Flug being a villain it puts a target on you. Even if you work alongside him, he dosnt want anything to happen to you, so he does everything in his power to protect your guy's relationship. Who knows what would happen if the big Hat himself found out?

The only ones who know of your relationship is Demencia and 505, and his bots

• SPEAKING of 505, he ADORES you. You become his second parent. Adding you in drawings and EVERYTHING. when Flug first started liking you, 505 definitely did his best to edge his father on and talk to you, he is such a good son UGHHHH.

• Flug finds alot of comfort in your presence. You can just walk into a room that he is in and he immediately relaxes and becomes much calmer.

You are his safe place. Eventually, he will open up to you, you just have to give him time. He has been keeping in his emotions for so long he forgot they even were there. So, if you let him vent out everything to you and you just hold him and listen to everything he has to say, just holding him and letting him actually cry for once, it makes him feel so safe. Like he dosnt have a reason to fear around you.

Will show his face to you eventually, just give him time

• usues nicknames only in private, like 'mi amor' or 'love'. And will have a heart attack if you call him one right back

• you are always there the moment he gets hurt, patching him up while he complsins that he could do it himself. But, underneath, he feels do special to have someone care for him for once in his life

• Flug is VERY protective over you. You are way to special to him for anything to happen to you. He makes sure you have a bot with you 24/7 to protect you incase he isnt there to do so, and to keep an eye on you. He dosnt knoe what he would do if he were to lose one of the only things that actually matters to him. So he always has your vitals up and always knows of you are okay or not.

Benefits of having a mad scientist of a lover, you have to be used to it. He tries so hard to hide that gruesome part of himself away that you just have to accept him for who he is. Even if you do, he still would prefer to keep you away from his work as to not traumatize you, no matter if you are used to it

Though, if someone is bothering you, being mean to you, just automatically tell him if he dosnt already know, they will go missing within an hour after you tell him. He would litterly do anything for you. You can say "kill this man" and he will attack without hesitating.

• he doesn't get to jelous, he mainly gets insecure. If your talking to someone else, he eternally freaks out, thinking about how he is a bad partner and your are going go leave him. You have to reassure him that you love him and are not going to leave him

• is very hesitant when you offer to help him out in the lab. He dosnt want you to end up hurting yourself, and he would feel awful if you were to do so. When you do try and help him out, its mainly just giving him tools and listing to him rant about the new invention. Regardless, the two of you enjoy the time together.

• just, out of random, you are the cook. Flug has so much troubles trying to cook its sad. He never really had time to learn for himself, and he is used to his bots doing it for him instead, or not at all. So, to make SURE this man eats, you make him food! Keeping Demencia away from it and bringing it down to his lab to eat, instead of starving himself. And boy does he appreciate it so much

Speaking of his bad habits, you have to make sure he actually eats and drinks water and rests. He is so stubborn and fights you sluggishly on it, but you always win and are dragging him to bed.

• Flug wont say it, but he depends on you so much, you are his rock, his caretaker. What on earth would he even do without you? You guys actually have a healthy relationship. You are aways with him and supporting him, no matter what the situation is, he knows he has someone who actuslly looks to him as a human being, who gives him the love he needs

He loves you so much, you are the sun to him, brightening him up and bringing him warmth and comfort.

He often asks himself

How did he get so lucky?

[cinnaminsvga]

Harana Preview | Jungkook

harana (n.): the act of wooing someone by serenading them

→ summary:

Unwilling to settle down with you after five years of dating, Jeon Jungkook decides to break up to chase after his dreams. In the aftermath, you leave your hometown, desperate to forget your past and relearn what it means to be on your own. Two years later while on your way to work, you pass by a familiar voice singing songs about a girl he had left behind.

{or alternatively: Jungkook still sings the love songs that he wrote for you. He still means them, too.}

→ genre: busker!au, exes to lovers, fluff, angst → warnings: jimin is insane and kinda crude (he has some issues going on), jungkook is a pathetic wet bunny but he's trying his best, so much yearning, ambiguous ending??? but my god there is hope!! the humanity of it all!! → words: anticipated 10-15K → a/n: what da hell who is she... HEY SO its been a while since ive written anything longer than 2k words and i really wanted to get back into writing, if only for practice... plus this is part of my heart full of hugot series that i teased literally eons ago and i want to finish it before the year ends... pray for my sanity ( ; ω ; )

part of the “heart full of hugot” series

As you struggle to pull yourself together, a familiarly loud voice rings outside the edge of your consciousness. “Hey, Y/N! Fancy seeing you here…” Jimin greets you, his usual jovial demeanor halting midway when he sees your panicked expression. He clears his throat, perplexed. “Umm… Are you alright there, girl? You’re looking a little pale.”

You do not even have the mental capacity to wonder why Park Jimin was miraculously early to his shift, nor why he seems genuinely worried for you. Rather, all you can do is wave him off and use what little time you have before the restaurant opens to steel yourself for hours of melodious torture. 

“I’m fine, Park. You should get to work,” you grit out, wiping your sweaty palms on your uniform. Normally, Jimin would have teased you about the obvious wrinkles on your skirt. 

“You’re not the boss of me,” Jimin huffs, always the contrarian. He thinks better of it, however, and softens his tone. “Are you feeling sick or something? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

You freeze, perhaps giving yourself away a little. “I’m fine,” you repeat. 

“You know, if you refuse to elaborate, I’m going to have to retract your shower privileges,” Jimin taunts with a smirk. 

You feel a migraine growing by your temple, making you wince. God, why must men be the source of all your problems?

“I’m just… a little annoyed by the busker outside the restaurant,” you eventually admit, trying to be vague. Unfortunately for you, Jimin hates beating around the bush and would never take your crap if he knows something is up.

Unable to withstand the weight of his unimpressed stare, you continue, “He was someone I used to know, that’s all.” You aren’t going to be any more specific than that, though you imagine Jimin gets the picture. You zip your lips, hoping to whoever is causing you pain that Jimin would somehow let the matter drop and leave you to your misery.

You brace yourself for his onslaught of questioning to come, and… it doesn’t happen. Instead, when you glance at Jimin, he is mysteriously stone faced. You wait for him to speak for what feels like a few minutes, but he doesn’t show any signs of wanting to tease or ridicule you. He simply watches you with a pensive expression. You can barely stop yourself from staring back at him, slack-jawed at his silence. 

Of course, you aren’t just going to question your luck, or what little you have at least. So, you stay silent back and purse your lips uncomfortably.

Finally, Jimin seems to snap out of his strange reverie. He fixes you with a bizarrely sympathetic grin, patting you affectionately on the back. “I see… Well, if you ever need a drink tonight, head over to the bar for a little sip. I got you covered,” is all he says in response before sashaying away. 

That was so fucking weird. You want to chase after him, perhaps beat the truth out of him. Jimin is nothing but a scheming dick, and you aren’t about to let him roam free with such sensitive information about yourself. Just as you’re about to stomp his ass (perhaps to relieve some of the building tension from your weary soul), your manager pops his head from his office door. 

“Y/N! Make sure you’re logged into the booking system. There’s going to be a party of 20 coming in about an hour,” he reminds you, shooting you an apologetic look. You nod back with a sigh, swiping the booking tablet from the hostess desk and scrolling through the logs. Sure enough, it is going to be a busy night despite being a Monday evening. Perhaps a little busier than usual, in fact.

Whatever. You will use whatever distraction you can get, and perhaps the approaching noise from the restaurant patrons will be enough to drown out the sound of his voice. 

You aren’t religious by any means, but you pray to whatever higher power exists that Jeon Jungkook doesn’t somehow decide to enter the restaurant. Stay outside, you plead. Outside the restaurant and your life, if possible.

Throughout the evening, you do your best to push aside the memories that threaten to resurface. You greet customers with a smile, lead them to their tables, and ensure their dining experience is pleasant despite the anxiety poisoning your insides. It's a routine you've perfected over time, a shield against the chaos of your emotions.

As the night wears on, you can feel Jimin's eyes on you from across the restaurant. You sneak glances back at him, and you blanch at his pitying gaze. If the restaurant had been slightly less crowded, you would have flipped him off. 

He’s probably enjoying my suffering, you think darkly. Unwilling to give him the satisfaction, you straighten up and do your best to appear more unaffected. Just as you do so, you can hear Jungkook perfectly hitting a soulful high note. 

“I’m so sorry for thinking I was strong,” you whisper to the universe. “Forgive me for my insolence.” You clench your fist in anguish, ignoring the confused looks from the customers in front of you. 

By the time your shift comes to a close, you are completely and utterly drained. You feel like a snail that has been continuously salted over the past eight hours, and you cannot help but cheer in relief when the clock finally strikes two in the morning. You have to wait for the last few diners to make their leave, but otherwise you are ready to let your bed swallow you whole. 

You stand by your hostess desk, leaning your head against it with a defeated sigh. Jungkook’s voice had died down only a few minutes ago, and you hope that by this point he has mercifully left the premises. You want to take a peek to make sure, but just as you’re about to make your way to the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder stop you in your tracks.

“‘Sup, bitch.” Jimin still has that weird, pitying gaze pointed at you, though his words don’t match it. “Are you okay to go home alone tonight? I can bring your dumb ass home if you want.”

You shove his hand away, ready to bite his head off when you think better of it. If Jimin drives you home, then that lowers the chances of seeing Jungkook down to pretty much zero. 

“You know what? Thanks,” you grouse. Jimin smiles at you winningly, and the image of it brings a shiver down your spine. You hit him, creeped out. “Hey. Stop that, will you? You’re being really weird?”

Jimin scoffs, crossing his arms. “Me? Weird? At least I don’t look like a damn firework ready to explode just because my cringelord ex-boyfriend is singing sappy love songs outside—”

“Shut the fuck up,” you seethe, stomping on his foot. He yelps in pain and slaps your shoulder in retaliation. 

“Ouch! Watch your ogre feet! My shoes are worth twice your monthly rent I’ll have you know,” he bristles. He breathes deeply, likely finding his inner calm (which you doubt exists). “But because I’m so nice, I’ll ignore your earlier transgression and blame it on your underdeveloped amygdala.”

You don’t know what’s more surprising: the fact that Jimin knew what an amygdala was or that he was forgiving you in the first place. “Whatever. Let’s finish closing up and then head out. I’m exhausted.”

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i got so lucky and i scored a posh and cushy job now - which i am eternally grateful for - but i cant tell you how bizarre it feels to be working with men i KNOW would have paid me for sex not even two years ago. my male coworkers are really nice but today im assisting at a workshop with external clients and oh my god. some 50+ man said he used to do business trips to the phillipinnes and i just KNOW. most people are blissfully unaware of the dark underbelly of business trips and the male dominated business world in general

plus, since adapting a more radical feminist view on things there are some things you cant unnotice/unsee. like we are equal parts men and women but the whole time the men were dominating the conversation. they rarely smile, they barely look at me, because they dont consider me important enough or because im by far the youngest, tall and slim looking, i know what middle aged business men are like. they probably watched some hardcore porn only yesterday or this morning

and another thing, after having worked as a babysitter, a newspaper delivery girl, a food delivery girl, a waitress/barista in the busiest cafe in town, and other underpaid jobs, as well as having been an escort, its crazy these office jobs really are all about talk but way better paid while the real work is done by people earning minimum wage at best. and many of the people in these positions have never worked such a job in their whole lives and it SHOWS

[andy-wm]

hey andy, loving your posts recently; was wondering what your take is on why jikook chose to film their trip and share it with fans instead of just traveling on their own? any thoughts?

Hey Anon, thanks for the ask and your kind words :)

I have a few thoughts on this actually!

After a conversation with my semi-ARMY, BTS loving, ride or die Jikooker (with caveats) bestie (yes, it's complicated but I fully support their right to choose a safe place in (or not in) this fandom that serves them as an individual 💜), I took a moment to think about how often Jimin and JK get to spend time together.

(Tldr: not often, so they take what they can get)

I think their choice to share their trips with us hinges around a few things -

Contracts, MS rules, group hiatus, ARMY, schedules, and (hopefully) themselves.

BTS renewed their contracts not too long ago and those contracts would have specified certain obligations and opportunities for each member, in line with the planned group hiatus and MS.

It looks like, with the new contracts, they all signed up for heaps of individual projects. Everyone seems to be doing at least one album, a live performance, a documentary, a guest appearance/collab, an episodic format media project, and perhaps some sort of idol-ajacent work like endorsements (or maybe in Joonie's case the MOMA docent recording.)

I assume this series is their combined episodic media project box being ticked.

Why would they choose this and not a series like Jinny's Kitchen, or Suchwita?

Working independently on their own projects for the previous year would have meant their schedules didn't necessarily align too often. Although I have no doubt they would have made time to see and support each other (Jimin going to Qatar as an example), it would have been hard to be apart when they're so used to being together.

Seeing that they had the option to take a sanctioned trip together as a couple best friends, it makes sense that they did that instead of filming a scripted /directed program in a studio with other random cast members and more schedules to try and work around.

In all honesty, the likelihood of them getting the chance to get away together on a personal trip would have been slim, i think. No time for that!

Assuming I'm right about the contracts, if they didn't take this opportunity, they would both have been involved in other projects to meet their obligations. More schedules, more time apart, more energy spent interacting with random strangers (we know they don't love that).

Three trips away together! What a boon!

And all they need to do is be themselves.

They have done so many similar projects - Now series, Bon Voyage, ITS, and even JK's GCFs... This is relatively easy for them. Plus it's a 'tried and trusted' format that ARMY loves.

And they're so used to having cameras around them, and they know the staff so well, that i don't think the presence of a film/support crew would have significantly detracted from the fun they had.

The time they spent together would have been a blessing, especially before they knew the were successful in the companion bid. And speaking of that, they could not have had these trips unless they were work-related due to MS regulations.

They still have this bizarre idea we might forget them. Hilarious, right?

We all know that the reasons they do these programs are first financial (keep those army dollars rolling in) and second, fan engagement.

Reality type shows are the best for an authentic connection to these guys, and we love that. We don't need much more than them being and doing and exisiting, for us to be happy.

Just quietly, I dont think Hybe really realise how easy we are. I'd watch jimin scroll on his phone and occasionally laugh, or yawn, or eat a snack, and I'd find it endearing and a worthwhile use of my time.

In summary, this series is a gift for us, and easy money for Hybe, its a win-win.

And if Jimin and JK have fun and get time together, its a win for everyone.

💜🏕💛

[yandere-sins]

Hello! Im fairly new to COD and I have really enjoyed your works so far. Was curious if you could share headcanons on a darling being shared between Ghost and Soap? Like maybe their darling is the new fresh faced rookie to their task force that they taken a real shine to, and are perhaps just a little too fond of them

I gotcha! Thank you for your request ♥

»»———————— ♡ ————————««      

♡ It all starts with an awful habit of these two: staring. Constantly. Annoyingly. Even when you are on a mission, you can feel their eyes drilling into your back, burning their mark into your skin and bones with their gaze. Ghost is, well, a ghost. You never catch him looking at you, but you feel his eyes and his breath down your neck even when you're in the field. No one is behind you, but your enemies fall before they can get close enough to shoot you. When you ask him not to coddle you as much, you see his mask scrunch up a little around his lips like a smirk. Soap isn't as subtle. He looks and gets stuck on a part of you, one at a time. Your lips, your hands, the crook of your neck when you wear a shirt with a neckline. Soap merely locks onto the spot, his gaze like a dagger dragging over your flesh, intrusive and possessive. Still, even if called out, he only laughs it off, saying he was in thoughts before finding another place on your body to fantasize about.

♡ They are quite infuriating, but as your captain and lieutenant, who are you to go against them? They might be odd, but they must have seen more gruesome things that messed up minds than you did in your life, so it might be understandable their behavior isn't always top-notch. Then again, things become weirder when you notice their presence being everywhere you go. For some reason, their quarters have been arranged on either side of yours. They stroll into the community rooms just moments after you. And as you stand in the shower, scrubbing off the dirt from the day, you suddenly hear Soap ask to borrow your body wash from the next cubicle, passing the bottle forward to Ghost by throwing it over your head. There's an increasingly worrisome proximity between the three of you that has you looking over your shoulder for not only enemies but allies as well.

♡ It has its perks, too. Not everything is just bad. You always get to do missions with either of them, being able to watch and follow the command of someone who knows what they are doing. There's no question that if they say jump, you jump, and it's good to know you have someone reliable to cover your back. And the compliments, oh boy. You watch how they treat the others, the usual jokes and digs at each other, but to you, they seem warmer. Tell you when you did a good job, invite you to train with them and help you improve. They even let you win sometimes (and you know they lose on purpose, but it does feel really good to slam them to the ground). Ghost purrs his "Well done, Rookie" and "Nice shot" into your ear, goosebumps distracting your aim, which he so likes to correct with his body pressed against yours. And Soap always greets you cheerily, telling you how good the mission was thanks to you and how he loves working with you. He puts his arm around you while telling everyone how great you were, and when the harder times hit, he's there as your captain to console you and help you get through it however you need.

♡ But then there are other times... like the ones when you think you're still dreaming a bizarre dream, opening your eyes to find them standing next to your bed, watching you silently, staring. You ask them what's wrong, but Soap hushes you, gently stroking your head until you fall asleep, Ghost grumbling next to you as if he disapproves of the closeness between you two. They're still working on sorting out this relationship by the time they show concerning amounts of possessiveness over you and aggression to everyone that gets close to you. Soap won't let anyone belittle you, not even as a joke. He's also pulling you from field operations, much to your chagrin. All while Ghost becomes your shadow, on minor missions as well as the base. He's too good to be stuck with your rookie tasks, but he comes along regardless. Soap also does, but while Ghost towers behind you on every step you make, Soap carves the way you're allowed to walk, parting the crowds of other people like your friends and teammates and isolating you.

♡ It's not a comfortable way of living and doing your job anymore. As much as you don't want to leave the trust and companionship you already built, you realize you don't have the future you want with those two around. You don't even tell them you applied for a transfer. They learn it through the grapevine. For a few days, those two just angrily scowl when you meet them around the base (or, in Ghost's case, hit you with a contempt stare). But even these weird days pass, and on your last day, with your bags packed, you visit them to at least say goodbye and thank them for all they taught you. To your surprise, you find them in some storeroom together and feel bad for interrupting their conversation. But their eyes snap to you the moment you step inside, so you try to make it quick and less awkward. As a last attempt of reconciliation, you shake their hands, first Soap's, then Ghost's. However, as you try to move away, Ghost grabs you by the wrist, and it's nothing like your little training quarrels. It's bone-crushing, painful, and impossible to wring yourself out of. You never had a real chance against them, and you knew it, but the way they acted made you believe they were good people deep down in their mad minds. Oh, how wrong you were... As Soap steps up behind you, pressing a cloth to your face with a putrid smell, the last thing you hear is, "Can't let you leave us like this, Darlin'," before you pass out, strong arms wrapping around you as they carry you off to a container they have prepared for you. Somewhere you won't be easily found until it is way too late to return to your normal life.

[chibinasuu]

Voice Mail | Usopp x Reader

Part of the Thousand Sunny Slice-of-Life Series

Other parts: { Sanji | Nami | Usopp (here) | Chopper | Zoro }

Summary: Usopp's tone dial keeps you company during your night watch shifts on the Thousand Sunny Word count: 1,147  Tags: one-shot, fluff (maybe the tiniest smidge of angst?), domestic bliss onboard the sunny, platonic straw hat pirates x reader, no use of y/n, GN but written with F!Reader in mind

The crow’s nest went awfully quiet as the tone dial played the final note of the song stored inside it. 

You gazed out the window at the calm night sea. You could see waves lapping at the sides of the Sunny, the sound barely audible from your position on top of the foremast. On a night watch shift, a quiet night is certainly a good night. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel the loneliness of the too quiet night, especially in contrast to the rambunctiousness that was always present whenever the rest of the crew were awake. 

You picked up the dial and clicked its button again, the same song replaying for the umpteenth time that night. 

The first time you saw a tone dial was not long after you joined the Straw Hat Crew. 

You remembered gaping in amazement as an upbeat music flowed from an orange, shell-like thing that sat on the Sunny’s deck. Usopp was softly singing along to the tune as he polished Kuro Kabuto. 

Zoro similarly sat cross-legged nearby, polishing Wado Ichimonji in silence, his other two swords laid out on the ground before him. 

You crouched in the space between them, trying to take a closer look at the curious thingamajig. Usopp noticed your wonder-filled expression and grinned, “Cool, isn’t it?” 

You could only nod excitedly before fully plopping down next to him, “I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“It’s called a tone dial, see? You can record and replay sounds with it.” Usopp explained, picking up the item and showing it to you. 

“This one, I bought from a merchant back in Sabaody — that was before you joined us — but whoa, I was so surprised when I saw so many of these “TD”s on sale at the market. Brook even recorded one!” Usopp rambled on, “Tone dials used to be so rare, you know? They somehow became mainstream during the two years that we were away, so someone must’ve figured out how they worked.” 

He took one of your hands and placed the tone dial on top of it, “Here, take it! I still have the one we got from Sky Island, anyway.”

Your mind belatedly caught on to what he just uttered so casually, “H-hold on, did you just say.. Sky Island?!”

“Oh, have I not told you about that one yet?”

You shook your head, and Usopp’s smirk widened.

“Well, I guess today’s your lucky day!” He pointed his thumb towards his chest, “Let the Great Captain Usopp tell you all about his adventures in the marvelous land of Skypiea!”

Knowing the sniper’s lying and exaggerating tendencies, you discreetly glanced at Zoro, your eyes asking a silent question. A low grunt was the only confirmation he gave that Usopp was indeed, telling the truth. 

Your heart pounded in anticipation, eagerly awaiting Usopp’s next words.

“It was the middle of the day. We were sailing in the open ocean, when suddenly, Nami’s log pose pointed straight up to the sky! We were still sailing with the Going Merry then — oh, you would’ve loved her! You see, she was this stunning caravel…”

You hung on to his every word as he recounted impossible tales about the powerful knock-up stream that took them to the sky, about gods and a giant snake, and a lost city of gold. It certainly sounded like a lie, but you could tell from the sparkle in his eye that there is truth behind all those bizarre exploits. Well, at least most of it, anyway. You really doubted the bit where God Enel was ultimately defeated by God Usopp’s 5-ton hammer. 

Oh, but how you loved his stories. More than that, you loved the way Usopp tells his stories. His animated gestures and facial expressions, the sudden plot twists that may or may not be true, and not to mention the way he impersonates your other crew members, which always brings a laugh out of you. Honestly, you could listen to him talk for hours on end. 

The creak of someone climbing up the mast’s ladder pulled you out of your thoughts. Usopp crawled up through the hole on the crow’s nest metal floor, there to relieve you from your night watch shift. 

He called out, “Hey, time to switch!”

The dial was still playing its song, catching Usopp’s attention. He smiled fondly and said, “You still play that during your night shifts? You must be bored of the song by now, no?”

“Honestly, it’s getting old now after listening to it for the millionth time.” You admitted with a laugh, “But I like how it keeps away the silence, you know? It gets real quiet sometimes in the middle of the night.” 

He looked a little somber for a beat, before elbowing you jokingly, “Well, I bet you’d rather listen to my stories rather than that goddamn song, don’t ya?”

You chuckled, “That, I certainly do.” 

You wanted to stay a little bit longer – maybe you could persuade Usopp to tell you one of his stories – but you couldn’t stifle the yawn that came over you. 

Usopp noticed and proceeded to usher you towards the ladder, “Go on you sleepyhead, off to bed now. Careful on your way down!”

You slowly make your way down the mast. Usopp’s face remained visible within the opening of the crow’s nest, his watchful eyes ensuring that you reached the ground safely. 

“Dream of me!” He called down mischievously with a wave once your feet touched the deck.

A laugh bubbled out of you as you playfully blew him a kiss before heading towards your room. 

A dial was waiting for you on your next night watch shift, placed carefully on the bench. It was accompanied by a note with your name on it, written in what you know to be Usopp’s handwriting. The dial looked different from the one Usopp gave to you, so you figured this must be the one he obtained during their adventures in Skypiea. 

You curiously clicked on the button.

“Ahem.. Hey, hey, hey! It’s Captain Usopp speaking, here to indulge you with tales of my daring adventures!”

Your lips tilted up in a smile as Usopp’s lively voice flowed out of the tone dial, filling up the empty room. 

“Um, I don’t think I’ve told you about Little Garden yet, so let’s start there, shall we? Buckle up, cause you’re in for a thrilling ride! We’re going back to prehistoric times with this one. Can you believe there were dinosaurs on that island? There were also giants, and a candle man, and a bomb man…”

You sit on the bench, eyes on the seas, dutifully working as the lookout for the night whilst listening to Usopp’s crazy stories. Maybe from now on, night watches won't be so lonely after all. You may even be starting to look forward to the next one.

a/n: this ended up being longer than expected, but i had tons of fun writing it! fun fact about the tone dials, oda did confirm in an sbs that they became mainstream in the Blue Sea during the 2-year time skip. i thought that was a cool little detail, so i wrote that in :)

Other parts: { Sanji | Nami | Usopp (here) | Chopper | Zoro }

[factual-fantasy]

28 Asks! Wahoo! :DDD

(Post in question)

XD I'm glad you like him! This makes me want to make some lore for the little critter. Some of the other imps and cats have lore, so Armpit should too!.... Starting with giving him a proper name <XDD

(Video in ask)

Oooo pretty song! Though I'm not sure what they'd think.. :0 They might just enjoy it in general and not have much thought afterwards <XD

Google seems to say that that's a scary game, I'm sure they'd be too scared to play <XD

I feel like what it would take for Bonnie to yell at someone is if they were yelling at him. But even so.. I just don't know if that's how Bonnie is..

Like if say, Monty was really barking at Bonnie for how he's behaving and just shoving everything in his face. I'd like to think that Bonnie would eventually blow and yell back something like "I DON'T CARE" or "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM GOING THROUGH".. Buuuutt at the same time.. Bonnie is mellow and kind by nature.

Seeing Monty yelling.. he might just shut down even more. He's so tired. He's tired of everything. And now Monty's yelling about something and its all just.. so exhausting. It might be easier for Bonnie to just stand there and not say anything and wait for Monty to get it all out of his system and then leave. Fighting back is just gonna make Monty yell more and cause more drama. Bonnie would give up in an argument pretty quickly and just stand there until the other person is done yelling.

And what's Monty gonna do? Push Bonnie around? Bonnie is way heavier and stronger than him. Pushing him/encouraging Bonnie to get physical is just gonna result in Monty flailing about and Bonnie standing stiff as brick.

I've never seen that movie(..?) before so I cant really say.. But judging by Google images, it looks really cool! And it has a lot of cats in it XD

I remember them! What a whacky cast of characters :00 My favorite is probably the Monkey XDD

I've never watched any of the Ghibli movies although I really should 💔

Now considering all the stuff I've heard/seen about those movies.. the food looks delicious, and the lands seem peaceful..?? They all might camp out for a while in one of those worlds and just bask in the peace and quiet.. 😌

XDD Hey I see that digital circus reference!

Although they didn't have any rides like that fortunately, and STAFF bots didn't exist when Foxy was still in service. If a kid had an accident of some kind, whether it be an injury or a uh. "Spill".. It was probably Foxy's job to alert an employee and they'd come in and clean up the mess and/or whisk the injured child away so Foxy could go back to work.

If you go to my blogs post search and type in "super mario bros", you should find 99% of all my Mario artwork!

If you have any trouble finding it don't be afraid to send another ask- idk if ur on mobile or PC it might be different <XD

Seam could have known how to do that perhaps..? But his powers were never meant to hurt people. Seam was the court Magician. He would just use his powers to put on these beautiful displays and show off these bizarre tricks and shows. (Usually along side Jevil to add extra flare and humor to his performances)

Although... technically you could say that he did use his magic to harm once. I don't know if it counts as a hex.? But he did lock Jevil away in a magical cell made of his own magic... does that count? :0

Yeah that was the intention. Seam, that Older imp and the two cat ladies worked under the King directly. So they wore these beautiful robes and headdress things to show their status. Jevil was the court jester so he just wore a jester outfit.

If Jevil had any other role he'd probably be dressed all fancy just like them. :0

Yeah <:( for a lot of reasons.

For many years talking has hurt Seams mouth and face, obviously- So he's resorted to mumbling and talking very quietly. After years and years of doing that his voice cant be great. When the stiches were removed I can imagine him raising his voice and it just sends him into a horrible coughing fit. Plus those holes in his mouth are still there, and they cant feel great to be stretched around..

I can see him struggling to make certain sounds. Like the word "cheese". He'd probably cut off half way cuz the holes were stretched and it felt like a punch to the lip. :'(

That's a good question... I think at least for now, Seam just wants to cover it up.

Underneath that wrap.. his face is pretty messed up. Its not just his eye.. I imagine that the eye hole also didn't heal great so I don't know if they could even put in an artificial eye. It might hurt Seam or make his face really sore.. Plus after the eye was in, he'd just want to cover it up with a bandage anyways..

So for now, he just covers his face and doesn't touch the wound. And I don't think he'll have the courage to mess with it anytime soon... :((

I have not :/ But I have seen ads for it EVERYWHERE. So I am aware of its existence. XDD

I've never heard of that game no.. but Googling it, I can say that I love the art style! :D

Awe,, Thank you so much!! :DD

Possibly! :000

Aww.... nah that would destroy anybody.

I mean if they absolutely had to for some reason, like they could never return to the surface because if they did they would die.. They would survive underwater for a while. But then eventually they'd run out of supplies and they'd starve or the octopod would stop functioning after a while..

Also MAN they would all be ruined mentally. Never being able to see their families again. Never being able to feel the sun on your skin or breathe in fresh air. Being stuck underwater for the rest of their lives would destroy all of the Octonauts. Save for possibly Inkling, but even then being trapped down there and all your friends are miserable would wear on Inkling too..

Maybe not the whole playground. But I can easily see Christmas/holiday themed decorations being hung up around the Daycare :)

Hmm.. I hadn't planned/thought about something like that... But that's a really cool idea! Perhaps at one point they were pursued through dimensions :0 Terrifying!

@kiyuktuk

Which "Wapeach" are you referring to? If you're talking about the ship of them, Mmmm nahh,, I don't think they'll ever be a thing..

Are you referring to "Wapeach" as in the peach wearing that purple outfit with the long purple boots? If so I don't know what to make of that <XD

Judging by Google images.. they'd see the desert wasteland, turn right around and jump through another mirror. <XD They need to find food man!

(Post in question)

Bad Endogeny! No! Don't stab people's legs! >:(

Never heard the song before, but I'm sure Jangles would be up for it! XD

XDD 1 Jangles is powerful enough, the world cant handle 2-

@beryl-shade

Jangles would be in awe of his idols. Sans and Papyrus would probably be wondering why this 3ft(??) tall plastic Halloween skeleton decoration is alive and talking XDD

@octonauts16 (Post in question)

Oh! No no, Cici is Bibi's little sister. I don't think I'll be making him a girlfriend any time soon <XD

I'm cautiously excited. I always love to see more FNAF but I'm worried that they might twist the lore even further and make things even more confusing... <XDD

[miradanii]

Beast Wars First Watch - Complete

I almost teared up at the end. 52 episodes of a old ass Transformers show. For a primitive CGI show about toys beating each other up from 1996 it holds up like REALLY. The issue is that we're in the year 2024 and it's very understandable that it wouldn't be easy to go and watch janky polygons for 52 episodes. So if anyone was interested in Beast Wars but couldn't go past the first episode because how weird everything looks, here's what helped me:

This is the second CGI tv show ever to air on TV, so give it a break.

1996...Beast Wars was animated by Mainframe. And their first CGI show in 1994 was called Reboot the first ever CGI show ever made. Sure when Toy Story came out and changed the game in 1995, they worked within their limitations. All the toys were plastic for a reason. They were very simple. Beast Wars said fuck that and in each 20 minute episodes contain characters with various textures, performing complex animations during whatever tv schedule they were on. If you ever spotted a character's face or body sliding when it's not supposed to, they were probably running out of time or there's an error that just couldn't be fixed as easily as it could now. I studied Maya in college years ago and I'm telling you rendering was a bitch if your sequence was long. Keeping in mind with what the team had to work with or possibly even invent on their own was just enough for me to be massively impressed. Our standards for CGI in TV have risen over the course of the years. We had Transformers Prime in 2010, 2015 Miraculous Ladybug premiered, CGI films became experimental such as Spiderverse and Puss in Boots. So think of Beast Wars as an early part of history in animation. It's nice to see how far we've come.

If you crave a silly time, this is for you. Whatever choices the animator's made were really funny (not the ones they had no control over), or just bizarre. When you get used to the style, over the course of the series the animation of the characters start becoming more expressive. Season 2 I think Megatron got increasingly expressive with his body movements. Whoever was animating him, they were having a lot of fun (at leas that's what it seems like). Inferno is a character to keep an eye on because he does a lot of fun motions with his body too. I kept losing my shit on the choices on how they animated in certain scenes. Kept me entertained until the very end.

2. Banger Voice Acting

The voice acting is one of the standouts from this show. Though the animation may not hold up well, the voice acting does. Garry Chalk is such a sassy young Optimus. A bit more fun than the young Optimus Prime that David Kaye (oh shit I just realized he's Megatron in Beast Wars...wow yeah this guy has range) plays in Transformers Animated if you were looking for anything similar like that. You'll still get some goofy 90's voice acting though like with Dinobot and Terrorsaur, even Rattrap but I think it's part of it's charm. I once again bring up Megatron as a reason to watch this show. The way this man delivers his lines is just *chef's kiss*

3. Fun and Weirdly Dark...

After finishing the series holy shit. I cannot fathom how you have a show with a rollerblading t-rex AND a decent onscreen death count. Hanna-Barbara cartoon noises alongside characters being constantly impaled and ripped apart (sometimes its for a teehee haha but then spin it around adding in some tension and that sweet composition and suddenly its not so funny anymore). Shakespeare. I don't know if it was just me but I couldn't predict most of what would happen next. Because being a high budget show to sell toys...knowing the 1986 movie...these characters aren't safe. I lost my shit, multiple times. More than I thought it would. Before finishing this show I did sneak a peek at what other people had said about Beast Wars and what was constantly being said was that nearly every episode was important to the over all plot of the series. And it's true! You miss an episode and you might be a little confused. I wanna know how kids who were first tuning into the show after a couple characters die and what their thoughts were...cause it's not like Batman Animated where you could watch the show in any order and be fine. Even before the box sets were released too.

Overall in the year 2024, I love Beast Wars. Obviously it's a product of it's time and no doubt has its flaws. But, that's what happens with a lot of beloved older series. Out of all the Transformers stories I've been watching/reading the past few months, Beast Wars got the biggest reactions out of me. It's also the one I had a lot of fun with because it's so unhinged and goofy/bizarre. I cannot stress that enough. Because Transformers is already bizarre enough and Beast Wars shot past it for me. How is Beast Machines gonna go after it???

I dunno. It's next on my list.

Even more thoughts and spoilers (end of the show spoilers) below:

I...yeah Beast Machines is next for me. I am gonna miss the silly polygons of the original Beast Wars crew. NGL I thought I had one more episode since the youtube playlist said 53. There must have been a double episode or something. I am aware that Beast Wars had complications later on in its run. Similar to TFP so it's obvious to say that I think they needed at least like two max three more episodes for certain plot points and just...character life span. No shit I would have wanted one more season. The lil ol 12 episodes and a 45 minute special at least. Dude...Dinobot 2...when that clone came back for a while, I really didn't think they were gonna do anything with him. There weren't any reactions to Dinobot coming back from the Maximals other than...a Pred...always a Pred...so I'm like okay Dinobot 2...different character...I don't need to think about it. Thanks for pulling my heartstrings show...really gotta push me off the ledge when I'm not looking huh? Man finds his honor, do his good deed after being released from the grasp of Megatron's control....looks at Optimus to fully remember himself and FUCKING DIES IN THE END...AGAIN???? That's so cruel. owie.

Tigerhawk after over 20 episodes an INSANE character reveal and clever way of bring back two characters for the price of one (because they can only afford so many voice actors and animate so many characters). This was a good concept. I would have loved to see it be explored...IF THEY DIDN'T DIE...AGAIN. Especially Airazor can't catch a break...this poor woman.

Okay bye Death Charge. You got what you wanted. At least he technically didn't die in vain? The shock that Rampage just let it happen...yeah those two are a character study.

dsafghjghtrjy yeah give Waspinator what he wants. The potentially immortal robot a good ending. At least he's not evil anymore????? Man does not care his former coworker's body parts are used as musical instruments and cooking ware.

This show has a higher onscreen character death than Transformers Prime (Vehicons don't count). Sheesh. Transformers die...a lot. However, Beast Wars surprised me the most with it. I noted from above that these characters get shot, torn apart, flattened?, and beaten senselessly throughout the show. So when a character dies for good its somewhat shocking in my opinion.

All the love for Blackarachnia. I was in constant fear about her character because I couldn't tell what was going to happen. There was a good chance she would either die or disappoint and become Megatron's goon again. The best version is her Transmetal upgrade and recognizing the design as inspiration for Blackarachnia in Transformers Animated. I screamed when I saw her design. I was so happy. I love her and Silverbolt. What a healthy relationship.

This is a show I do want to rewatch it at some point and even just...be one of those people that make a 45 minute video essay some day. I want physical copies but the site where they supposedly sold it is...not there last time I checked? Which is odd because I had a paper ad for it on the TFP blue-rays I got for my birthday.

Also...I do like this series better than Transformers Prime...not because it's better overall, like if you seen it, you know. Also just rewatching Prime simultaneously cemented my feelings about it. I still love both though. Prime is close to my heart since it's what I grew up with, but Beast Wars has a Dino on rollerskates and Optimus Prime as a blue gorilla riding a hoverboard...like...idk man. I just think it's neat.

[lurkingshan]

To my Hater Queen, top 5 WTFs!

Oh ho ho! *cracks knuckles*

Okay as you know my hate is boundless so I am gonna boundary myself here to specific choices in shows that made me go WTF, rather than just making this another grievance list against shows that annoyed me by being bad. Let's see:

A Shoulder to Cry On, pjs in the pool

What, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck. Not only did this show do an incredibly bizarre tonally discordant cutesy epilogue in its final ep, it also had two grown men wade into the pool fully clothed in their pjs. I will never be over it.

Naughty Babe, CGI tiger

Listen. If they had played this for comedy it might have worked. But no, they put this monstrosity on my screen and treated it as a deadly serious threat in a traumatic backstory that was supposed to excuse several years of character regression. WTF!

Vian, no cat/human sex

Let's set aside pretense here, pals. Anyone watching this terrible show filmed on an iPhone was in it to see the cat make out with the human. The show clearly knew that, too, because its opening scene was very suggestive in order to bait viewers into watching 12 weeks of the most boring, plotless nonsense you have ever seen with virtually no pay off. If you're gonna do weird kinky premises, commit to the bit or GTFO! @imminentinertia can attest I was WTFing in their DMs weekly.

Never Let Me Go, beach frolic

Palm and Nueng were literally on the run from an assassin after both of Nueng's parents had just been attacked, and they decided to stop off at a beach, hit the bl beach trip trope checklist, and have Nueng declare that he was "the happiest [he's] ever been." There is not enough WTF in the world, Jojo.

Minato's Laundromat 2, amnesia

Actually I am posting about this one more time because what the ever loving fuck were they thinking. No WTF list would be honest if I left this one off because I was yelling it at @bengiyo for weeks.

Ask me my top 5 anything for bl

[pjoneedstherapy]

I’ve seen a lot of people on Twitter complaining about NeverAfter to the point of hating on the players which is bizarre in its own right, but someone asked why the characters were motivated to fight the princesses and saying it felt low stakes because they couldn’t die… my guy are we watching the same show??

THEY LOSE EVERYTHING OF THEY CANT PULL THIS OFF!

you can only enter your Twice Upon A Time if you have been made aware of the greater world. The Fairies want to take away free will and force everything to go back to the way it was. No one would be able to go against them ever again because they won’t know better. The princesses want to fully destroy the book using the ink and everything else with it. They said that they can’t have a part in the new land that would come after because their trauma would make them write their stories in reaction to their past lives rather than in indifference to their past lives. The stepmother wants something similar, so in both cases everyones lives would be erased, without guarantee that they would even exist in the new world.

Why are the intrepid heroes fighting to save the universe? Because they live in it and are the only people aware enough to try and stop it! They don’t know what comes next, but they aren’t fighting to make a new world, they’re fighting to not nuke the current one.

As for how they make the world better…

As he died in “No Place for Princes and Princesses” Mother Goose said that he believes the world they live in can be better which is why he left home to begin with. His motivation hasn’t changed from the start, and he has legit never done anything with the book that would imply that he wanted control or power. (He always asks everyone what they want when the person they’re going to put in the book isn’t able to speak for themselves, i.e. Candlewick, and he actively keeps other people from going into the book if he thinks there’s a different way, i.e. the Itsy Bitsy Spider) He’s not gonna force people to live the life he wants by writing it in the book, he’s gonna give them control over their own lives using him as a tool to get it. (I have a feeling that when he dies Jack will pick up his work and keep helping people but that’s just my opinion)

I see no reason for the cast or Brennan to get hate. Is this a huge season that might have benefitted by having ten more episodes? Yes!Did it meet your expectations for what horror should be? Maybe not. But don’t dumb down the characters and the choices they made. Each of the characters gave up something that they needed for their Happily Ever After, but they’re selfless enough to not want to ruin the possibility of change for the rest of the world (unlike the princesses and the Stepmother)

TLDR: (JUMP SCARE CHRIS PRATT)