#but its canon whether I write it in there or not

[pocketsizedquasar-3]

[ID: 6 panels of a digitally drawn comic showing Daggoo doing twist-outs into Pip’s hair. Pip looks a little nervous through the process, with a warm & encouraging Daggoo, and by the end of it he looks at his reflection with surprised joy. More detailed IDs for each panel in alt.]

i finally finished what i was working on for @creatingblackcharacters’ Black History Month Challenge!

so for those who don’t know, for a few years now i’ve been working on adapting Moby Dick into a webcomic. as you might imagine, a text written by a white man in 1851 is oftentimes Very Racist with how it treats its characters of color, and this very much includes its Black characters, of which there are two of note in the cast, Daggoo and Pip. there are parts of the original text in which Melville tries (and even sometimes doesn’t completely fail) to say poignant things or critiques about racism in the text (and much of the text does very explicitly and intentionally deal w/ racism and racialized dynamics, something literally 99% of adaptations ignore), but for the most part, his nonwhite characters are flat, stereotypical, often violent, racist caricatures.

and i won’t get too much into that here (god knows i’ve rambled at LENGTH abt all of this many times & i will many more), because the point of this challenge is to share art about Black joy, but suffice to say that! I am doing my best to intentionally engage with the race & racism of the original text, whether it’s for characters of my own racial identity that Melville bastardizes (like Fedallah), or those of others (like his Black characters, Daggoo and Pip, and his Indigenous characters, and so on). It’s important to me not only to be in conversation with and to challenge Melville’s racism in my work, but also to allow these characters to be more than the one note racist stereotypes Melville writes them as.

So!!! that’s some long winded context, but here’s Daggoo doing Pip’s hair for him and showing him how! I’m extremely fond of Pip getting to be loved and cared for by others of the crew, especially the harpooners (of whom Dag is one). i just think Pip deserves his comically large number of dads who will care for him and make him feel safe and shelter him from the absolute Horror that is 19th century American Whaling (and the Horror that is their white crewmates!). i just think this little Black boy deserves love and joy 😭😭 and i think Daggoo deserves to be a soft, gentle caregiver who can give that to him.

I have lots more thoughts about this and about them and about their hair which i may expand on under a cut or in the tags, but because this is already getting so long!:

to my Black viewers, and my Black readers, you belong in classic literature spaces! you deserve to see yourselves represented thoughtfully and carefully in the ‘canon’ of literature, and to challenge when you aren’t, and be supported in your critiques! your contributions to both literature as a whole (whether “classic” or otherwise) and to literary analysis and critique are invaluable and irreplaceable, both when you discuss the racism in these works and spaces and when you engage in any other kind of analysis or creation. And I want you to be able to enjoy stories of all kinds without people brushing aside your existence or pretending your concerns are invalid or don’t matter because ~it’s a great classic!~ or ~it was a different time.~ your voices and your creations and your art matter.

& on the smallest scale, i hope at least to bring you a little bit of joy. 

I'm tagging some of my art friends! I know the lateness of this in the month means it’ll be hard for anyone to probably do anything of their own for the challenge, but hopefully y’all can still check out & support all the lovely art that’s already been made for this!! @coulson-is-an-avenger @fricklefracklefloof @layalu @brainwormterrarium @seaflying-fliptuna @rootscorrode @holocephal1 and anyone else who wants to!!

& thank you to Ice for making this wonderful challenge, and thank you for all the lovely, incredible work you do on @creatingblackcharacters. truly a blessing to this world 💖💖

anyway, some more notes, because i can’t help rambling:

i referenced a lot of images & videos of people doing twist outs for this but i wanna shout out the video i watched and rewatched and paused and zoomed in on the Most; it’s by kbmaria on YouTube and called “Twist Out on Short TWA 4C Hair | Big Chop Hairstyles”!! def go check her out :]

i loved looking up 1800s hair combs (and afro picks, though it seems they were all just called ‘combs’) & 1800s sleep bonnets for this! the details of the bonnets kind of got lost in simplification (they really do just look like modern ones but with more lace!) but drawing them and the comb was still fun. i also was looking up specifically a lot of Black hair care history and there is some really cool stuff about the original invention and spread of the hot comb (used for straightening hair) and Black people’s role in that (there’s again more i could get into but i won’t right now but do look it up if you’re interested! the library of congress has a good presentation article with sources about Black hair care history. much of it is later the timeline that’s relevant to these characters in particular, but still very interesting!)

i always defaulted to giving Daggoo an Afro when i designed him (mainly because he’s described with one in the book). over recent years, i’ve definitely thought more about this decision and about whether/how to incorporate different hairstyles into representing him. whaling is a…unique situation—long, long stretches of time (we’re talking months) of extreme lethargy with no tasks to do punctuated by unpredictable short bursts (days to weeks at a time) of incredibly high intensity, life threatening, and laborious work. it leaves lots of time to do more complicated, time-intensive hairstyles (which his hair definitely could benefit from in an environment where he’s getting very sweaty, sea-salty, and wet frequently!), but any of that time could be interrupted at any moment; it’s impossible to Plan for when the whale hunts happen and put your hair in a more protective style ahead of time. i don’t really have a specific answer to this yet, but it’s smthn i’m thinking about a lot and researching a lot! visual historical references we have (that i’ve seen at least) of Black sailors of this time tend to have their hair natural and short-cropped (which is how Pip keeps his), but i def want to draw more hairstyles on Dag at different points.

in any case, i do love the idea of him doing Pip’s hair for him (even if the style will be Very temporary due to the nature of their work — he’ll probably get wet very soon 😔) and showing him how to do different ones. starting with something maybe a little easier to do (like this twist out) and maybe showing more complex ones as time goes on.

as far as hair moisturizers go, ive also done a good amount of reading over the years of what kinds of hair moisturizers were available at diff time periods (did you know lots of victorian women used egg washes in their hair to keep it moisturized? i didn’t). i like to think that Dag keeps his own personal stash of natural oil of some kind — he may have access to coconut oil/cedarwood oil/smthn like that. and if he’s ever in a pinch, apparently whale oil is a fine hair moisturizer! and was even used in cosmetics in the 20th century! so hey. got plenty of that around lmao

i think that’s all i have to say for now lmao. thank you again Ice for making this challenge 💖💖

[was-that-a-pun]

Why did I say Medic is the only adult- made-toy in safe haven when I can have Thomas the Bron there!

By the point the game starts he'd be the 73 year old, cancer survivor, haven grandpa spending his days in the storage room watching the kids read and thinking how much nicer this is than the small containment cell Playtime had him isolated in.

It's been a hard time but that Doey boy does a good job, yes he does.

[ohgreat-moretapes]

-Tim

[kl-writes]

Switching to reblog since this is a great discussion and I'm not sure if my reply would fit (I hope you don't mind! Your post got me thinking - I only agree with you on some points, but I think it's good discussion)

I'm not sure how controversial this take is, TBH I've seen this sentiment a lot, that kudos/hits/etc. isn't useful for determining whether a fic is good or not. I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy fics based on whether the author uses "said" too much, or spells words right, or has good action/narration/dialogue balance in their scenes (well, maybe a little the last bit). High kudos does not mean "this author has mastered pacing and word choice."

While I agree that a fic with high kudos is not necessarily a fic that you will enjoy, I think that fics with high kudos/bookmarks/comments in general will be better than fics selected somewhat randomly (e.g., leaving as default sort "last updated" or the semi-random alphabetical "author name" sort).

I will agree that public stats can create a sense of insecurity in authors, since many people will conflate fic quality with enjoyability. (for example, I follow a few folks who only enjoy fanfic of characters where the characters match pretty closely with early canon, and dislike a lot of the fanon built up around those characters even if the fanon interpretations tend to be more popular to write about.) I also agree that the target audience of any fandom writing should first and foremost be yourself, and everyone else comes after. I don't write fix-its for stuff that I like in canon but everyone else dislikes, after all...

I also think that the summary/first chapter/tags/etc. is king when it comes to determining whether or not I will like a fic. This is my main way of determining whether or not I try out a fic, and I am always a bit crestfallen when I find a fantastic fic that the author had tagged one character in and left a one-sentence summary, since I usually only find those fics on accident - for a bit of context, I mostly read Transformers fanfic these days, and it recently went over 70,000 fics on AO3 - it's just not viable for me to read through everything, so I have to be sorting well. Some fandoms that I've read fics in have only a few hundred fics (sometimes a few dozen), so in those cases there's not much point in tagging.

I also agree that looking at hits/kudos ratio is useless, especially since I have a preference for long fics. If a fic has 100 chapters, someone might leave 1 kudos and visit the fic every time it updates, leading to 100 hits. It might be closer to 200 if the fic updates slow, too!

The reason why I think sorting by the number of kudos/comments/bookmarks can be useful (though not by hits or kudos/hit ratio) is because a few months back I went through the first 100 fics that you get on each sorting method, and I looked at how many I had read, which ones I liked, etc. I also checked the first 100 fics under "recently updated" to see which ones were appealing (since I hadn't read most of them). For me, I came up with the following:

Sort by kudos (no filters) - liked 33, disliked 3, hadn't read 64

Sort by comments (no filters) - liked 27, disliked 10, hadn't read 63

Sort by bookmarks (no filters) - liked 40, disliked 5, hadn't read 55

Before I did this, I had been mostly sorting by kudos/comments (purpose of sorting by comments is to "weight" long fics higher, but in practice it looked like that wasn't helpful). After this, sorting by bookmarks was the most useful- technically the like/dislike ratio was "worse", but I typically don't read stuff that has tags/summary indicating that I will not enjoy the fic (or that I don't enjoy from reading the first few paragraphs).

As a control, I also checked the first 100 fics under "recently updated" to see which ones were appealing (since I hadn't read most of them).

No filters - 85 looked appealing, 15 did not look appealing

With my usual filters (not explicit, word count over 1000, no crossovers, no michael bay) - I had read/enjoyed 2, 18 looked appealing, and 80 did not look appealing.

So at least for me, it looks like sorting by kudos/comments/bookmarks could be a good way of finding fics. However, I will admit that it isn't foolproof, and if I were to start looking at the top 1000 or top 10,000 for each method the like/dislike ratio may drop.

To be clear, this could all just be my own taste. There's certainly enough michael bay movie enjoyers out there writing fics that they will enjoy and I will not. However, if you have similar problems to me (too many fics - not that bad a problem, but still), I would encourage you to try one of these methods to see if it works. Sorting is, to be fair, probably pointless in fandoms with less than 200 or so fics.

To conclude: you are absolutely correct that high kudos/comments/bookmarks/etc. does not mean that a fic is good, and authors should not be judging the quality of their writing based on this. However, for a reader, sorting by these can be a useful way to find a fic that is enjoyable.

Strangely, though, I think I agree with your conclusion of why AO3 should implement private stats: AO3 should prioritize writers over readers in things like this. Certainly, sorting by kudos/bookmarks/comments is useful for me to discover new fics, but it's not the only method I use (e.g., looking at other fics an author has made, looking at a good author's bookmarks, looking at the bookmarks of people who have kudos'ed my fics, etc.). And maybe I, personally, don't care if my fic only gets 2 kudos and others have 200, but if it's impacting folks' mental health then maybe that is a problem, since AO3 isn't really *about* getting higher numbers.

This might be a controversial take, but as much as I love Ao3 and consider it superior to other fanfiction sites out there, there is one thing that FFnet did better. Public vs. private stats. I love how the hit count isn't public, only comments, favs, and follows are. And, I love kudos on Ao3, but imo they shouldn't be public either.

[silver-embersss]

"this is canon!!" "that's only fanon!!"- WHO GIVES A FUCKKKK CANON IS A SOUP BABES. AND IM THROWING IT OUT OF THE WINDOW. THE ONLY THING THATS CANON IS THE BROKEN WINDOW WHERE I THREW OUT THE SOUP.

[kuzameow]

PAIRING! kuzan x fem! reader SYNOPSIS! where kuzan is your husband, and you two have a toddler daughter together. WORD COUNT! roughly 0.8k WARNINGS! implied pregnancy, (really brief) mention of poverty, intentional lowercase NOTES! the dividers i used are from dollywons (except the one with my blog name on it)

dad kuzan! who never imagined himself becoming a father, much less a girl dad, when he was younger.

dad kuzan! who, however, quickly changed his mind when he met you all those years ago. when something just clicked, and now he's married to you, and has a daughter together with you.

dad kuzan! who considers both you and his daughter the biggest blessings in his life.

dad kuzan! who thinks that being a girl dad is the most amazing thing ever, and he's so so grateful that he gets to experience it thanks to you blessing him with a daughter.

dad kuzan! who would proudly show off his adorable daughter to his former mentor, telling garp that she is his proudest accomplishment.

dad kuzan! who keeps looking for matching outfits for you and your daughter to wear, because seeing the two most important people in his life wear similar clothes, just makes him smile, especially because his daughter inherited all your pretty physical traits.

dad kuzan! who lets his daughter style his hair however she feels like it, not caring if it looks silly or not. who would always show off his newly aquired hairstyles to you, praising your daughter for how skilled she is already with styling hair despite her young age.

dad kuzan! who always makes it a priority to praise his daughter as much as possible. he feels that positive confirmation will help his daughter develop a healthy confidence in her own abilities, and he just wants his daughter to know how amazing she already is.

dad kuzan! who, whenever your daughter wants to play with camel, will always make sure to keep an eye on her and make sure nothing will happen to her, considering camel's large size and all. it's not that he doesn't trust his giant-sized penguin companion, he's just incredibly overprotective over anyone he cares about, even if he would never admit that.

dad kuzan! who always finds himself smiling whenever he watches you and his daughter play together, even though he doesn't smile that often most of the time. the sight just warms his heart, reminding him of enjoyable domestic moments truly were.

dad kuzan! who would always make sure to mention his family as little as possible to people he doesn't trust, in order to protect them from any danger. unlike some other marine officers, he would never want his daughter to join the marine, simply because he would be too worried about her getting hurt. however, if she did eventually ask him on her own accord to join the marine, of course he would respect her decision.

dad kuzan! who spoils your daughter almost too much at times. while of course you care for your daughter a lot too, you more often than not end up having to be the one to make sure that your daughter won't become too spoiled.

dad kuzan! who just has a major soft spot for his daughter, and he would buy her as many toys or clothes as she wants to have, especially because he himself used to be poor.

dad kuzan! who gives his daughter nothing less than princess treatment, because she deserves only the best.

dad kuzan! who tries to have as much time as possible for his daughter despite his obligations. he would postpone any appointment he has if it overlaps with days he wants to spend with his family.

dad kuzan! whose priority is to try and spend at least one day a week together on a family outing, just doing whatever his daughter wants to do. spending time together as a family is one of his biggest priorities, to make sure that his daughter knows that she's growing up in a healthy household where everyone loves each other.

dad kuzan! who finds himself becoming more and more interested with some of the TV shows his daughter watches, going so far as to just to watch it together with her, even staying awake at times where he'd usually take a nap. if that doesn't make it obvious enough how much he loves his daughter, then he doesn't know what else would. because who else would he go out of his way to miss nap time for, other than you?

dad kuzan! who partakes in any tea party his daughter holds. he would make sure to follow whatever roleplay she's doing of at the moment, and if he'd have to sit at a really tiny table among a group of adorable plushies, or dress up like a princess, then so be it. if it makes his daughter happy, he'll do anything she wants to do.

dad kuzan! who's naturally ecstatic when your daughter is asking for a sibling, saying that 'she wants to have someone who she can play with all the time'. he's obviously more than eager to fulfill his daughter's wish.

dad kuzan! who totally doesn't want another child just because it's an excuse to be even more intimate than usual with you again ever since the birth of your daughter.

[saintobio]

gojo, akemi, and sachiro all snuggled together in one giant bed, with sachi nestled close to auntie ‘kemi who’s softly singing him to sleep, while dada satoru watches them both, holding them in his arms and feeling this warmth in his heart at the sight of their bond >>>

[resurrectionist3]

More Thoughts for Heretic (2024)

(Because i think about nothing else these days..)

Um.. i think i’ve just had a very wild and in depth revelation about Mr. Reed as a character and his potential backstory (and insight on why and how he became the way he is in the film).

I want to post it because it feels like something that more people should know, but at the same time I’m afraid of acting like its a whole brand new exciting discovery and then having people respond with “well yeah duh.. wasn’t that obvious..?”

I don’t know, I think i’m going to type it all our just to get my thoughts out of my head and then I’ll go from there.

I’ve lowkey been DYING to write any fan fictions about Mr. Reed too, i have a lot of ideas. But this one idea of him as a young man in college first discovering his one true religion and embracing it has been filling ny head for the past like two weeks.

I NEED to write it but also i know that I’m the greatest procrastinator and perfectionist the world has ever seen and it may not ever get written because of it…

to put into perspective, i have one fan fiction in mind that i’ve been planning since December of 2023. Now it’s December of 2024 and it still has gone nowhere. I have some fanfics that have sat since 2022… and still have gone nowhere

[drbtinglecannon]

No other fake marriage has ever done it like Loid and Yor have

[numericalbridge]

Certain fans pretending that Darius being a rebel came out of nowhere is so funny, because while, yes, the show's writing is not the greatest, and it is understandable for a casual viewer to miss the Blimp scene or that later Darius doesn't restrain the kids, but some of the supposed fans who over-analyze everyone else, just so happen to miss the way Darius talks to Hunter from the Blimp and that if Darius was a 100% bad guy there would be no reason for him to clearly indicate that he thinks capturing the children wasn't something to be proud of - especially in that tone of voice and with that expression, and that there was no reason for him to lie this way if he wanted to manipulate Hunter, and that that scene was meant to be a clear hint that he had a moral code of his own and wasn't absolutely on Belos' side, all before the episode's ending.

(And it is also funny because he is in only two episodes before the rebel reveal, in one of them he is already established as a complex character, so there is just not even enough episodes of him being a villain to declare that the rebel stuff came out of nowhere)

And it is absolutely understandable to just dislike the show's writing choices (i think its writing is at best uneven, but often just weak), but with some fans it is very clear that they only have problems with Darius and only because of Hunter and the one-dimensional, worst possible fanon interpretations of Darius' actual actions. (< - and this is my actual problem, not that someone missed some hints or just have a different interpretation). Especially blatant when the same fans defend almost every other writing choice.

And of course it just happens that fans almost never have problems with Eda and King's writing, even though they are main characters, and some choices about their relationship are much more puzzling if you look at them with the same scrutiny fandom looks at Darius.

And among white Hunter fans there is almost never any care or thought about how Darius being a villain would fit with what characters like Belos and Odalia represent, and what it would mean and how it would have been handled considering the way the show already treats its characters of color, especially black characters, and how it would fit into the existence of the trope among fantasy shows of putting dark-skinned characters into oppressive roles. But there is no consideration or care about it.

[themoonking]

it’s not actually that weird that people are saying “harry potter was never good, actually” after joanne went full mask off, and no it doesn’t mean that we all secretly think harry potter is amazing but don’t want to admit it. it’s pretty simple actually: most people read harry potter when they were children, when they hadn’t read a lot of other books and therefore didn’t have a lot to compare it to. then every time you reread it as an adult, you’re looking through pretty hefty nostalgia goggles. then, after you’ve realized that joanne is a violent bigot that wants you and / or people you love and care for dead, those goggles are broken and when you attempt to look at hp again you’re more likely to see it’s flaws. it’s not rocket science.

[redr0sewrites]

guys if i wrote hcs/fics for azrael, michael, uriel, leo, etc (basically the heaven OC's from hazbin hotel, a lot of them are from the journey to the light au that was really popular on twitter between the time period of the pilot and the official show) would u guys read it?

[lyril]

i think my headcanon is that bob's burgers is actually still in like, 2011-2013.. . they make modern references on occasion (gene makes a joke about the fidget spinners fiasco in a later episode i watched) but. i feel like they just belong in that time span y'know. it's like their natural habitat. all that truly matters here though is that the breaking bad burger of the day can still exist

[good-beans]

Hi! "ML Up until now it's been like a dream" sounds interesting!

Aw thanks! I'm impressed you could scope out my one Mikoto wip...

It's a little normal au 0309 thing from Fuuta's pov. The general premise is that Mikoto crashes his bike on his way to work, gets a concussion, has (non-John-related) memory issues, and Fuuta is compelled to look after him. I wanted a fun comparison of videogame restarts/second chances -- Fuuta says something rash and the conversation gets weird, until a few minutes later when Mikoto has a lapse in short term memory, and Fuuta gets to try the exact same situation again. By the end of the day, Fuuta is using the situation to very carefully test out compliments/confessions since there's no pressure it'll be remembered and he'll have to deal with the consequences. It's basically my timeloop fic without a timeloop 😂

The title was the first thing that popped into my head (as all my first working titles are) and comes from a story from my dad's childhood when he got a concussion and his short term memory kept resetting. He kept telling his family "You know, up until now it's been like a dream!" until his brother quoted it back to him and he went "how did you know I was gonna say that??" It started as a silly joke title, but Mikoto has the whole line about dreaming, so I'm keeping an eye out if there's a way I can actually work it into the fic !!

[thiscatiscreepy]

So I'm rewriting The Smell and I thiiink I just finished the first (and shortest) chapter. I might post the next chapters of the fic here as I progress (the red fanfic website is blocked over here and i don't care enough about it to use a vpn)

I would really appreciate feedback on pacing and word choice and stuff like that, but if you just want to read about Marius having a weird one, you're more than welcome.

Anyway, Chapter one, A Dream.

Sirens wailed and gunshots sounded as Marius approached an immense concrete building. In that moment, he wasn't driven by murderous glee, morbid curiosity or even basic boredom, but pure, unfiltered hatred. There wasn't a single thing or person that made his jaw clench or his hands curl into fists like that crumbling edifice. And for the life of himself, he couldn't explain why.

Inside, the air was hot and thick and made his head swim. The lobby was empty, its occupants either cowering, dead outside or retreated downstairs. That's where he was heading as well.

Someone was beside him. He glanced at Raphaella with a rifle in her hands. Strange, he thought, she didn't favour firearms, the recoil didn't mix well with her habit of flying everywhere.

They found a door that led to the staircase. Looking over the railing, the descent seemed endless. Marius proceeded regardless, with Raphaella closely behind. The ground above them rumbled from an explosion, dislodging dust in a grey snow. They passed dark labs and empty offices until they reached a library-like server room with its tall stacks of powerful processors.

Cautiously, they entered, and were shot at. Raphaella took off while Marius ducked behind an overturned table. He fired at the assailant and it fell to the floor. Hearing shots from above, he looked up to see Raphaella press against a wall as she fired at more armed things. Worry rose in him, she was too exposed. As he opened his mouth to shout for her to fly lower, a shot sounded from below, and the scientist gasped and fell, her metal wings making a horrible clutter. Marius jumped from behind the table and ran to her, shooting the gunners in his way.

Raphaella lay face-down in a pool of her own blood, limbs splayed, a wound through her chest. As he reached for her, a bullet hit his shoulder. He swore and shot back, then dragged her behind a cover and continued shooting the creatures. His shoulder stang. Warm blood spread on the floor.

After some time, the armed beings stopped coming. Marius sighed and turned to Raphaella. She was still lying face down, still motionless, still bleeding. He touched his own shoulder, the gunshot wound had already stitched itself up.

How much blood did she have?

He shook her by the shoulder. She was cold and rigid.

How could she still bleed when she was already so stiff?

He whispered her name, then repeated it louder, and louder again. She lay bleeding. He withdrew his hand, it dripped with blood.

How was she still bleeding?

His heart beat wildly in his chest. He reached to turn her over, to look at her face, but stopped his hand short.

How was she still bleeding?

Fear seized him. He felt - knew - that whatever had happened to her face would be too awful to witness. Still, curiosity and urgency pushed him to see her monstrous image.

How was she still bleeding?

As if possessed, his shaky hands moved to the woman's unmoving body on their own. One took her shoulder, turned Raphaella of her side, and held her so. Blood gushed freely from beside her breast.

How was she still breathing?

Blood-soaked hair clang to her face. The other hand reached to move it away and see the horrible face at last. Marius was powerless to stop it.

How was she still bleeding?

He couldn't breathe as his fingers touched the dark red strands of hair and- "Attention crew."

The doctor jumped out of sleep at the booming voice of the ship.

"Attention crew," she repeated, as Marius rubbed his eyes, "inhabited planet located in the nearest system, landing in approximately four months. Take stock of supplies. I repeat-"

Marius tried to recall what his strange dream had been about, and why it made his stomach turn. But as the Aurora recited her message, the dream slipped from his mind until all that was left of it was an uneasy tightness in his throat.

The ship concluded her announcement, and Marius' quarters fell into the comfortable ambience of machinery whirring quietly behind the walls. Soon, he drifted back to sleep, and dreamed of birds.

[darabeatha]

/ I can't believe my first 'oc' servant (and i put it on quotes bc its not like i invented the d.evil, and i also mean in general bc I literally can't remember when was the last time I had something close to an oc) is the frigging d.evil