#but its a good format for a fic

[hedghost]

maya le tissier | love languages

maya tells you she loves you in just about every way she can, all day, every day. she just doesn't say it in so many words. it takes you a while to catch on.

not enough maya appreciation on this app - enough is enough

word count: 8.7k

quality time

the empty bottle of wine stands sentry on the coffee table. you watch as the low glow of the tv reflects in the dregs left in your finished glasses. the volume is too low to hear what's being said, the show you were previously watching reduced to a steady background hum, but neither of you mind; you'd both stopped paying attention long ago.

you glance up from your book momentarily, your eyes flickering over the figure at the other end of the sofa. maya is similarly occupied; one hand softly tracing the words as she reads, the other absentmindedly tangling back and forth in mocha’s fur as he stretches across her feet. her hair hangs loose around her face, the lamp beside her casting her half in shadow and half in warm, orange light. mocha looks up at you, but maya doesn’t.

your attention shifts back to your book, and you settle back into familiarity. this nightly routine is one you love; the shared moment of respite from your busy schedules. it’s getting late though, and the words are starting to blur together on the page. you don’t want to disturb the peace just yet.

it’s only when you find your eyes running over the same sentence for the third time that you shift. the old sofa creaks a little as you stretch, and you let out an exaggerated groan to match it as you stand. maya laughs a little, but she doesn’t lift her gaze from the page. if she had she would have caught the way you poked your tongue out at her, and probably would have responded in kind.

maya cooked tonight, and so you begin to dutifully gather the empty dishes. it’s only when you’re arms deep in soapy water that you hear maya stand too. her book thuds against the coffee table, and mocha lets out a low bark.

“just taking the dog out,” maya calls, and you hum in response. the latch clicks. you reach a soapy hand out of the water to flick the kettle on. it’s all part of the routine.

they aren’t gone long, and their return is soon heralded by the gentle patter of mocha’s claws against the hardwood. maya pads into the kitchen, pulls two mugs and two teabags out of the cupboard, pours the water, now boiled, then hauls herself onto the worktop beside you.

“i was thinking of going on a dog walk in the woods tomorrow, you wanna come?”

“yeah sure, are the others coming?”

it’s a running joke that the 'unoffical manchester united dog walker's club' is the apex of the team’s social ladder. forget the coffee mornings, the brunches, the team nights out - if you wanted a way in for true bonding, you had to own a dog. it was common on days off for a group of the girls to get together to walk their dogs, with the intensity ranging from leisurely stroll to outright hike, depending on who had planned it. you’d learnt the hard way to politely decline when leah chose the route.

sure you didn’t technically own a dog, but having been roommates with maya for the best part of a year, and best friends for far longer, mocha was basically in shared custody. you regularly tagged along, as an honourary member of a tight-knit group.

it’s why you weren’t expecting maya to shrug and shake her head.

“i haven’t asked - i figured we could just go together. we haven’t hung out just us in a while.”

you chose not to mention that the two of you spent almost every night together in your flat, or that you’d gotten lunch together just two days ago. instead you grinned and nodded, drying your hands and taking the cup of tea that maya held out to you.

“sounds good,” you sip gently at your tea - before spitting it out with a yelp, “fuck, that’s hot!”

maya laughs brightly at you, even though you do this pretty much every day, “yeah no shit, i just made it - be patient for once!” you stick your tongue out at her, and this time she does see it, and she does return the gesture. it’s childish, sure, but your friendship had started in the youth age groups, and, although you were responsible adults now, some things never change.

you lean back against the counter as you wait for the tea to cool, and the two of you begin chatting a little while longer about not much at all. eventually maya jumps down, rinsing her mug and heading to her room, mocha in tow. you follow her, your own cup only half-drunk, flicking off the lights as you do so.

“night y/n,” maya says softly as she pushes her door open, lingering slightly in the doorway. she watches you clumsily shoulder open your own door, opposite hers, waiting for you to reply.

“goodnight maya.”

—-

maya was already up when you emerged the next morning, early mornings always coming to her more easily than they did to you. she always looked so put together when she woke up, a stark contrast to your disheveled appearance. not that either of you cared - those boundaries of self-consciousness had long been washed away between the two of you. it was only maya after all.

“there’s coffee in the pot,” she mumbled, chewing her words around her cereal.

“thanks, you’re an angel.”

“you ready to head out in a bit?” maya asked, having now swallowed her mouthful. you groaned a little in jest, but maya’s bright eyes shone with humour, and you nodded.

“sure, sure - although you know it’s called a day off for a reason?”

“you agreed to it, plus you’ve had like a two hour lie-in.”

“i know, i’m actually feeling very well-rested.” you placed your cereal down, seating yourself across from maya with a grin, “it’s just more fun to moan at you.”

“glad to hear it,” maya smirked, taking another spoonful. she knew you well enough to know that your moaning was only ever lighthearted, and she was perfectly happy to indulge you. you liked that about her, liked how easy it was to settle into that playful teasing whenever you were around each other, which in fairness, was most of the time.

---

you walked barely a half-step behind maya, eyes focused on the imprints her shoes left in the rain-softened ground, but ears firmly locked onto her latest anecdote. she turned slightly to look at you as she talked, and when you laughed, she did too. she looked so comfortable when she laughed, the way her eyes crinkled and her head tilted back. walking alongside her, you felt equally light. she paused to fall in step with you, still smiling. the two of you made eye contact, and you couldn't help the way your smile grew. maya looked away, fiddling with the dog lead she held in her hands.

"by the way, the girls were talking about having dinner tonight at millie's, do you wanna go?" maya asked, eyes flickering over the trees that surrounded you, before eventually landing back on you. you shrugged, giving maya a guilty smirk.

"is it bad that i can't really be bothered?" you scrunched your nose up, but maya smirked back again, shaking her head. maybe you were imagining it, but her posture almost seemed to loosen, as if she were relieved. you didn't ponder it long though, because the splitsecond thought faded as soon as maya spoke, and your attention diverted back to solely her.

"no, me too!" she grinned conspiratorially, "i'm glad it's not just me - i love them and everything, but we see them literally all the time, i kind of just want a quiet night in."

"well, you see me all the time - better not be getting sick of me now le tissier?" you raised an eyebrow playfully. with anyone else, maya's words might have worried you, might have played on your insecurites of being too much, too overbearing. with anyone else, your reply might've been edging on serious, might've taken every inch of your body not to let your worries seep into your voice, but this was maya. you didn't have to worry about that with her, and so your tone was light, purely joking. maya's reply confirmed as much.

"oh god, like you wouldn't believe," maya countered back with a grin, before she cupped her hands around her mouth and called out to the empty woods around you, "somebody help! this fucking stalker won't leave me alone!"

the sound echoed through the trees, and you nudged her with your shoulder, hard enough to send her stumbling, feet slipping off the path and into the muddy ditch. you laughed, before wrapping a hand around her bicep and pulling her back to walk beside you. all this time, maya's grin never wavered, and she looked up at you, eyes shining.

"you’re such a dickhead, these trainers were clean earlier."

"that's on you for wearing white shoes to the woods to be honest."

maya rolled her eyes, before calling for mocha to come out of the same mud she'd just stepped into. you loved days like this, so familiar, so comfortable, where you and maya just slipped into playful teasing. it was this easy banter, the kind that comes with years of friendship, that made hanging out with maya so, well, easy.

"seriously, though," maya's voice was softer as she looked over at you, a little shyer. "i could never get sick of you - you're different." this side of her you loved too, the warm, gentle soul, always willing to extend a hand of comfort, or an olive branch.

"i could never get sick of you either maya."

she smiled back at you, and it was like the sun got a little brighter.

---

the rest of your day off had passed similarly, with shared smiles, inside jokes, and teasing banter, until you and maya found yourself collapsed next to each other on your shared sofa. the same positions as always - you curled up against one arm, maya reclined comfortably against the other, legs outstretched.

maya picked up her book, immediately immersed, but yours remained closed on your lap. you snuck a look at her, chewing your lip in thought, replaying the day in your mind.

it had been nice - as it always was with maya. you appreciated it, the quiet time with her, where you never had to do much except exist. maya gave you that - the freedom to just be.

your musing was interrupted by the harsh buzz of maya's phone against the coffee table.

"pass me that?" maya murmured, too engrossed in her book to even look up. you reached over, not without an exaggerated groan to hint at your displeasure at being made to move. maya kicked you as you held out the phone to her.

"shut up - can you just read it to me?"

you groaned again at being given the laborious task of unlocking her phone. opening her messages though, your attention piqued a little. the text from mary was innocuous at best, but it was maya's earlier messages that caught your eye.

"well," maya looked up at you expectantly, cutting you off from your thoughts, "who was it?"

"oh uh," you internally shook yourself a little, still a little confused at the messages, "just mary, she said, uh, she'll see you tomorrow."

"oh cool, thanks y/n," maya turned back to her book with a smile, a preoccupied air clouding her words. silently, you clicked maya's phone shut and placed it down, thoughts firing. you were a little perplexed - maya was never one to turn down plans, and especially not with made up excuses. she loved getting coffee with mary; they did it all the time. or at least, you realised, they used to.

you tried to think back to the last time maya had met mary for coffee. now you thought about, it must have been a while. your schedules were jam packed, and you and maya had spent pretty much every day off recently together. first you wondered if they'd had a falling out, but from the way they were texting you dismissed it quickly.

then it occurred to you, just briefly, that maybe maya was one to turn to down plans, and maybe you just hadn't noticed it, because she never did it with you. you shook your head. that wouldn't have made any sense. the dog walk earlier had probably just been one of the errands maya had mentioned, and she'd just asked you along for company.

yeah, you thought, slowly picking up your book, that was probably it.

words of affirmation

the thoughts flickered in your head the next morning, as maya picked up an extra coffee on your way to training. they stirred a little more as you watched maya interact with mary, searching for any irregularites, but finding none. they resurfaced again over the course of several days, as you noticed maya turn down coffee, then lunch, then dinner with various teammates. all in favour of just hanging out at home.

but this was maya, you thought, so she was a homebody, so what? who were you to judge, given that usually you'd also gladly take a calm night in at your flat over a hectic night out with the girls. the thoughts faded pretty quickly after that, and by the time sunday rolled around, they were pretty much nonexistent.

your attention focused instead on the game ahead of you. as with every week, the nerves seemed to roll inside you like waves cresting over one another, instead of neatly against the shore. it was something you'd never quite managed to shake, the overwhelming feeling of stress before a match, leaving you feeling disjointed, all jagged around the edges. it was fine usually, something you'd come to deal with. you'd learnt to take those feelings and channel them into fire.

nobody's perfect though. sometimes, you needed a helping hand. and true to form, maya could always tell when. no man is an island, as they say, and there was maya, always ready to leap into those stormy waters, paddle in hand, lifejacket on.

"hey you."

"hey," you sighed, looking over at maya as she sat down heavily next to you. you could tell maya didn't need a second look to understand how you were feeling. you gave a half-heartened smile.

"sorry," you murmured, trying to shake yourself out of it, "i'm all-"

"jittery?" maya filled in, soft smile gracing her features, "yeah, i know."

you nodded begrudgingly, taking a deep breath in. you wanted to speak, to explain more, but it was as though maya sensed you couldn't quite do it. she stepped in.

"hey, you got this okay? you always do."

you opened your mouth, but maya's gaze found yours, and you found yourself believing her. you were never really one for eye contact, but something about maya made it easy. maybe it was how kind her eyes looked, how knowing; like every thought or worry you'd ever had was reflected back in them - broken down, understood, seen. maybe it was just because they were pretty.

"nerves are good, remember? they mean you want to do well," maya echoed your mantra back to you, and you listened. words always sounded better coming from her.

"i know you'll play well, because you always do. you're a great player, you're tough, you're smart, you're good. there's no one else i'd rather have next to me on the pitch. the team trusts you. i trust you."

you nodded, pulling maya in for a hug. you closed your eyes, breathing her in. her breath tickled your neck as she whispered, "and if it goes wrong, i've got your back. always."

"thanks," you smiled, though she couldn't see it, "love you."

maya nodded, pulling back with a smile. her hand lingered on your thigh as you met her eyes once again. "let's smash it."

---

you did, in fact, smash it. the game went well, a perfect result - clean sheet and a win - and right at the heart of it, was you and maya. maya and you, ever solid, ever present. she was right, as she always was.

your defensive partnership had seeded itself from the early ages, when the two of you were young, shy kids in the england youth groups. it had blossomed and strengthened through your brazen teens, and now, finally together at club level, it was a force to be reckoned with.

you were both good players individually, but your closeness off the pitch was what cemented it as brilliant. you read each other so well, it was honestly sometimes scary. sometimes it felt like maya knew what you were going to do before you did. you often didn't even have to speak, but you did anyway, because it was maya, and you liked speaking to her. any excuse for a chat.

"see? told you you'd be fine," said maya as she sidled up next to you when you left the pitch. you elbowed her side and laughed.

"just fine? did you see that sick tackle i did?"

"hmm, mine was better," maya winked, and you rolled your eyes, pushing her into the changing rooms with a loud laugh.

---

the day ended as it always did: you and maya (and mocha) on the sofa, too worn out to do much else. today though, the tv was blaring, its sounds interspersed with your laughter and commentary of the godawful show maya had turned on.

"can you believe this shit?" you laughed, turning to look at maya, "why are we watching it?" she rolled her eyes.

"because its funny, shut up."

"and because you fancy the main character." you gave maya a sly smirk, which she returned with an eyeroll.

"maybe..." then she grinned widely, "can you blame me?"

"nah, i get it."

you laughed, reclining back into the sofa. mocha gave you a disgruntled look as you pulled your feet up to rest in maya's lap, nudging him from where he lay. you turned back to the show. okay so maybe you were a little invested now. feeling eyes on you though, you looked back to realise maya hadn't done the same.

"what?" you smiled.

"nothing," if you didn't know better, you'd say maya looked a little sheepish. you weren't sure why. you gave her a questioning look, complete with raised eyebrow, "just zoned out a little."

you shrugged and nodded, half turning back to the tv. maya, however, seemed to want to say more.

"your, uh, your hair looks nice like that," she said. you tried to meet her eyes, but her gaze was back fixed on the tv.

"oh, thanks," you murmured, a little surprised. not at the compliment - maya gave you them all the time - but more at her tone. it was soft, borderline shy. you weren't sure why she was being weird.

"you should wear it down more often," maya looked back at you, and just like that her usual easy smile back, her brief awkwardness now dissipated.

"i mean i would if i could - having it up for training all the time kills my head."

"god same," maya gave an exaggerated whine, and the laughter was back, "i'm not going to have a hairline by the time i'm 25."

---

by the next morning, you barely remembered the compliment, having gone on to spend the rest of the night fixated on that stupid tv show, admittedly only to loudly debate the attractiveness of each character with maya.

it was only when you reflexively went to put your hair up that it crossed your mind again. you made pensive eye contact with yourself in the mirror, before gently placing the hairband down. no particular reason.

it seemed mary had finally managed to corral maya into getting coffee, and so she was nearly out the door by the time you headed into the kitchen for breakfast. digging around in her bag for her car keys, she looked up at you briefly, smiling in small greeting.

"you doing anything today?" she asked, and you shook your head, fully intent on just relaxing on your day off, "i'll be back in a couple hours, shall i pick up a few bits for lunch?"

"sounds good," you nodded, although your attention was very much focused on finding yourself some breakfast first.

"cool," maya shrugged on her jacket hurriedly, only pausing at the door to call back over her shoulder, "that outfit looks really good on you by the way!"

you barely even had time to look up before she was gone.

---

you'd be lying if you said the compliment didn't put a little spring in your step for the rest of the morning. you told yourself it was just the same as any old compliment, but there was a niggling feeling that it was made that much sweeter just because it came from maya. two compliments in two days - you were being spoiled.

although now you thought about it, maybe it wasn't that out of the ordinary. you'd intended to spend your free morning slothing out on the sofa, maybe catching up on the shows you'd missed, or finishing the book you'd been neglecting of late. instead, you found yourself thinking back on your many interactions with maya.

the more you thought, the more you realised just how often maya said nice things to you. for all the two of you teased and joked, you could pick out a dozen examples just this week of maya complimenting you - superficial things like your hair, your clothes, your make-up, but not just that.

on the pitch, you realised, she would frequently offer words of appreciation, calling out that you'd done well in a drill as she ran past you, patting you on the back as she congratulated you on a tackle, a block, a pass. even beyond that, just yesterday in an interview she'd said you were her favourite person to play with. the day before that she'd mentioned how much she loved being around you.

the moments, all seemingly inocuous at the time, now seemed to pile up before your eyes. linking them all together was the warm feeling you felt whenever she'd say something, and the soft smile she'd offer in return. you sipped your coffee slowly, a startling thought dawning on you - were you a compliment whore?

with this newfound information about yourself, you tried to think of compliments you'd been given by others, but surprisingly came up short. with a jolt, you realised you didn't remember because in all honesty, you didn't really care. it was only maya's opinion that mattered.

this realisation was somewhat startling, and you didn't quite know what to do with it. you knew from past experience that you often had a tendency to come up with wild fantasies, to see things that weren't quite there when it came to romance. you shut down the thoughts, refused to think about what it might mean. maya was your best friend, of course you wanted her to think highly of you. it didn't mean anything.

you pushed the thoughts away, locking them up for a rainy day. this is why you shouldn't be left alone - you started thinking. as maya had joked to you many times before; that was dangerous.

the door opened, and maya appeared, laden with bags.

"this doesn't look like just 'a few bits', maya," you grinned, watching her struggle for a second before standing to help.

"shut up," she said, watching as you took the, admittedly heavy, bags and placed them on the counter. she walked past you, squeezing your upper arm in the process, "nice biceps."

you made a playful show of flexing them, and tried not to think about the warm feeling that swelled up inside you. the realisation that you'd do pretty much anything to get her to compliment you again hit you like a slap to the face.

physical touch

thoughts and feelings continued to rattle around inside you for the next few days. now that you'd opened the floodgates, it was getting harder and harder to deny the brewing thoughts that accompanied every single thing maya did. you tried endlessly to push them back down, adamant that you just saw her as a friend. and it worked, if only for a little while.

the thing is, the harder you tried, the more you denied it, maya had this uncanny way of worming her way back into your heart. you supposed it was a side effect of her being just so, well, perfect.

you told yourself it was only because she was your best friend, your, strictly platonic, soulmate. these past few weeks however, try as you might, you couldn't deny that, just maybe, you were developing a crush.

maybe you had been for a while.

you tried to ignore it, but every day you registered a new thing that dragged you down a little deeper. maya could make you smile by just being around you. maya could say exactly what you needed to hear. every word was like a breath of fresh air, every look was warm sunlight, and every touch was a spark of electricity.

and, as you'd recently realised, there was a lot of touching. you and maya were touchy friends, the kind who had no qualms about casual embraces or friendly physicality. you'd never noticed it before, probably because it had never meant anything before, but lately you noticed just how frequently maya sought out your touch.

the first time you'd really registered it, you'd been out at a bar with the girls, celebrating the latest win. you hadn't quite realised the extent of your feelings, still in the early phases of filtering through what they all meant, and steadfastly denying most of them.

the air was warm and stuffy, contributing to that heady feeling of the alcohol catching up with you. you leant against the bar, watching the girls gathered together in a booth, their raucous laughter audible even from where you stood. you tried to ignore how your eyes unconsciously shifted back over to maya, or how her laughter seemed to stand out as louder than the rest.

your thoughts were cut off by a rough hand grazing your waist. you shifted out of the stranger's grasp, but there wasn't much leeway at the packed bar.

"you here alone, sweetheart?" you took another small step back as the man turned to you. his heavy scent of beer and sweat clung in the air, almost suffocating.

"no, i'm with friends, thanks," you muttered, trying to make eye contact with the bartender so you could get your drinks and go.

"i'm sure they wouldn't mind if you found some other company..." his rough hand reached out to touch your hand, and you grimaced, pulling away.

"i'm okay thanks."

"at least let a guy buy a pretty girl a drink."

you were just considering leaving the bar altogether when you felt another arm slink around your waist. this one, however, was soft and slight, and welcome. you sank backwards, letting the familiar smell of vanilla shampoo envelope you.

"she's already got one, thank you." maya's voice was firm, and you let her drag you away, back to the table. she passed you a drink, her arm still comfortably tight around your waist.

"you okay?" she asked, voice low and concerned, as you both sank into your seats. you nodded, trying to regain a bit of clarity.

"yeah thanks, fucking creep," you shot a quick glance over to the bar, where the guy still remained, before looking back into maya's concerned eyes and nodding again, "thanks for the drink."

"no problem - just, stay with me for the rest of the night, yeah?" you nodded, having no intention of doing any different. maya's expression flickered protectively, making her eyes look several shades darker.

it was only a little later, when you were halfway through your drink and had all but forgotten your vile encounter, that you registered that maya still hadn't moved her arm. you were unaware if she even knew herself, the both of you now comfortably drunk. the two of you were pressed up against one another in the booth, her fingers stroking absentmindedly at where your shirt had ridden up. an unbidden shiver ran through you, your sudden awareness making each touch feel like a static shock.

"you okay?" maya must have noticed the way you tensed up, because she turned to you, lazy smile clouded with inebriety. you could only nod. shaking yourself internally, you resolved yourself to dealing with your feelings tomorrow, and sank back into her. you leant heavily into her, missing the way her soft smile grew as you did. maya didn't move her hand all night.

when you woke the next morning, it was to a headache and hazy memories of the early hours. you dragged yourself to lie on the sofa, only after downing some water and painkillers.

maya joined you some time later, looking equally worse for wear. she sluggishly filled her water bottle, before trudging over to the sofa.

"i knew those jagers were a bad move," she groaned.

"i distinctly remember you saying the complete opposite last night," you laughed, opening your arms for her. you didn't think much of it as you did, but when maya collapsed on top of you for a hug, the memories of last night flooded back. you couldn't argue with the warmth that flooded your body as maya nestled on top of you. it was time to accept that you felt more for her than any friend should.

"you should've stopped me," she groaned into your chest, her arms wriggling their way around your back. you swallowed, before deciding, perhaps stupidly, to just give into it. you'd deal with the consequences of falling for her later.

"i tried! you called me boring then bought another round," you laughed, your hand coming up to rest on her back.

"oops," you felt maya grin into your chest, "what are you watching?"

"just shitty tv," you replied, "wanna change it?"

"nah, i'm okay," her reply was muffled, and you nodded, stroking her back softly. as you felt maya's breathing even out, you had a sinking feeling that there was no going back now.

---

from then, it was like a switch had been flicked. whereas before, you'd barely noticed all maya's hugs and touches, now, each one seared itself permanently into your brain - and your skin.

some of the touches were accidental, you assumed, maya brushing up against you as she walked past, or her thigh pressed up against yours as you sat together in the changing room.

others were obviously intentional - maya playing with your hair as you lay on the sofa, or placing a casual arm around your shoulder during training, maya leaning her head on your shoulder during team talks, or taking your hand to drag you around behind her. and of course, the most frequent of all, the hugs that punctuated pretty much every single interaction you had.

it would be a lie to say you didn't enjoy it, but now that you'd had to accept why each touch meant a little more, sometimes it bordered on some kind of glorious torture.

there were also other instances, where you were unsure if maya even meant the touches or not, her actions hanging precariously in the balance between conscious and absentminded. as her hand grazed the small of your back for the countless time that morning though, you were starting to suspect it wasn't all entirely accidental.

this gave way to another problem though, in that it was getting harder and harder for you to deal with, without melting each time she so much as touched you, or breathed in your direction.

it didn't help that you were starting to notice how naturally flirtatious maya could be. if you weren't certain that maya didn't have an evil bone in her body, you'd almost believe she was doing it on purpose. luckily, you knew maya was absolutely unaware of her nature, and this was just something she did with everyone. sucks for you.

the unfortunate thing about having a crush on your best friend is that you find yourself accidentally staring at them far too often. it was no surprise, then, that a lot of your free time was allocated to observing maya. any time you weren't sneaking glances at her you spent thinking of ways to make it not obvious that you were sneaking glances at her.

okay, so yes, you definitely needed to get over her, but you could allow yourself some indugences, right?

the thing was, you were starting to observe new things about maya. firstly, the way she always threw her head back when she laughed, properly laughed. secondly, the way she'd play with her ring whenever she was either nervous, or bored. and thirdly, that maya was not actually a naturally flirtatious person.

contrary to what you'd been firmly telling yourself, maya was not like this with everyone. sure she was still touchy, but the longer you watched, the more you noticed the differences in how she acted with the others, and how she acted with you.

---

the uncharacteristic spring heat clung in the afternoon air around you, disturbed only by the occasional breeze. you paused your run down the field, sensing that maya had the play under control, and had gone herself. you dropped back slightly to cover her, watching her recieve the ball and expertly pass it on to lucia, who was straight through on goal. you didn't need to hear the way the crowd exploded to know she'd scored.

you pumped your fist and watched as the girls further upfield swarmed one another, but even from where you stood you could pick out maya amongst them. you took note of the way she hugged lucia, the way she clapped the other girls on the back, filed the images away in your mind.

maya jogged back towards you, so you grinned and held out a hand to congratulate her on the assist. you noted the way her smooth palm clasped yours, and the firmness of her grasp as she pulled you into her. you'd seen how she'd hugged the others, firm and fast, clapping them twice on the back before pulling away.

the way she hugged you, the way your body slid into hers, just seemed different. this was steady, grounding. her arms seemed to envelope you, slotting you gently into place, and when she pulled away her hands lingered, fingers smoothing out your shirt collar, her touch feather-soft. it seemed like more.

you tried to ignore it, really you did, but when the final whistle blew and her hand found yours, you couldn't help but wonder. you compared the way she congratulated the others on the win, all friendly grins and joking pushes. sure, she did that with you too, but with you it always seemed a little softer, a little longer. you started to wonder if all those casual touches you'd labelled as accidental were anything but. maya didn't seem to do that with anyone else.

you must've been reading too much into it, you eventually decided. maya was probably just more relaxed around you since you were best friends. you were just getting ahead of yourself, thoughts clouded by your unhelpful crush, seeing things you wanted to see. surely.

that's what you told yourself as maya sat next to you in the changing room, her fingers brushing your thigh.

gift giving

you sighed, running your hand down your face. your thoughts had been running hard and fast since the game yesterday, and you were desperate to think of anything else. you'd spent the day trying to busy yourself, but it was a difficult feat given that you and maya had still spent the day joined at the hip.

it had been hard to not think about it when you walked the dog together and her arm kept bumping up against yours. it had been hard when you'd gone out for lunch and she'd loaded you with covert compliments. it had been even harder when she'd bought you a coffee, completely unprompted, your order memorised to a tee.

as much as you loved spending time with maya, you were somewhat grateful that she'd since headed to the shops alone, giving you a slight reprieve. it couldn't be healthy, reading far too much into situations that were clearly just based off years of friendship.

"i'm home!" the shout echoed around the flat, and you swivelled in your seat with a smile that you just couldn't help. maya dumped the bags then padded towards you. "close your eyes, i got you a present."

"should i be worried?" knowing maya she was probably about to put something absolutely ridiculous in your hands, but you dutifully did as she asked anyway.

you felt the crinkle of packaging as your hands closed around the mystery item. you opened your eyes cautiously, but your heart melted a little as you saw a packet of your favourite sweets.

"for me?" you asked, slightly confused. maya nodded, eyes sparkling, "aw thanks," your voice was genuine, if a little perplexed, "uh, why?"

maya shrugged, flopping down onto the sofa next to you, "why not?"

you smiled, glad maya couldn't see you blush. pulling the packet open, you held it out to maya, who popped one into her mouth, then leant her head against your shoulder.

---

it was a few days later that you realised the sweets weren't an isolated incident. in the past week alone she'd brought home coffee for you (three times), some chocolate you liked (twice), a new waterbottle (yours was always leaking and it was apparently 'doing her head in'), a mug that she thought you'd like, and a small stuffed crab that she said reminded her of you (that one had definitely been a dig, but you chose to ignore it). for a second you had a worry that you'd forgotten your own birthday.

it seemed like every time maya left the house, she came back with some little snack that she knew you liked, or some trinket that 'made her think of you'. she was like a fucking magpie.

you said as much to mary at lunch, maya having just deposited her protein bar that she 'didn't want' in your lap. it just so happened to be your favourite flavour.

"sorry, am i hearing things, or are you complaining about getting free food?"

"i'm not complaining! i'm just... confused," in fairness, you weren't even sure what you were confused about. mostly you just wanted to vent about your crush - without actually having to own up to the whole crush thing. "and it's not just food! yesterday we walked the dog on the beach and she kept collecting pretty stones for me,"

"well, you know, it's maya, she's not much of a talker."

"what? maya talks all the time," you looked at mary incredulously. maya had literally just been chatting her ear off.

"no, i mean she's not much of a talker," she gave you a knowing look, and you just stared back, even more confused now. mary rolled her eyes, "about her feelings, idiot."

"what's that got to do with anything?"

"god, the pair of you are as thick as each other." mary slapped your shoulder and then rose from her seat, leaving you staring after her, more lost than ever.

---

it was only when maya tried to pay for your dinner the next day, that you wondered if mary was suggesting that maya had feelings for you. you tried not to even entertain the thought, because regardless of how much you wanted it to be true, you knew it couldn't, wouldn't end well.

the smallest part of you, the sensible part, the part not yet utterly consumed by all things maya, knew that you'd only be getting your hopes up. as much as it hurt to pine after maya like this, any sort of rejection would hurt far, far more. and so, you ignored and dismissed it. there was no way that someone like maya could ever fall for someone like you.

maya's actions were purely platonic, you decided. she was a good friend, and that was the end of it. that was what you convinced yourself, that was what you repeated as a mantra every time you looked at the little crab toy that maya had placed beside your bed, 'to keep you company'.

that was what you tried your best to believe when maya came into the kitchen the next day, hands behind her back. you looked up from cooking with a soft smile and a raised eyebrow. she looked back at you, almost shyly.

"i, uh, i thought you might like these," maya didn't make eye contact with you as she thrust a modest, yet beautiful, bunch of daffodils towards you. your heart melted, and you tried desperately to not let your mind run away with itself. still though, you couldn't help it. maybe, just maybe, maya felt something for you too.

your mind lit up with possibilities, with fantasies, with dreams. maybe this was the moment you'd dreamed of. maybe she was about to confess, to ask you on a date, maybe-

"you know, for the flat," maya said hurriedly. maybe not, "the shop was uh, they were going to bin them so they were on clearance, they might be a bit manky," maya trailed off, still avoiding eye contact.

you tried not to let yourself get disappointed. this was exactly why you shouldn't get head of yourself. reaching out to take them, you smiled and inspected them. there didn't seem anything wrong with them at all.

"no, they're lovely," the emotion crept into your voice despite yourself, and you had to clear your throat, "uh, for the flat - they'll look lovely in the flat."

maya smiled and met your eyes, properly this time. for a split second the shyness was gone, just pure, honest maya. then she swallowed, turned, and hurried out the room.

acts of service

the thing about trying to get over maya, was that she made it so fucking difficult. how were you meant to forget about someone who treated you so perfectly, who could do no wrong, who regularly went out of their way to do things for you? how were you supposed to do anything other than fall in love?

so you stopped denying it, and instead you justified it. you let the full delusion of falling for your best friend overtake you, and let maya's endless perfection drag you deeper and deeper each day.

now that you'd accepted maya didn't see you like that, every day felt like a constant bombardment of kind gestures. the worst part was, you could never ever hate it. that was the thing with maya - she didn't even realise how good she was.

and so, you did the only thing you knew how to. you started to withdraw from maya. not majorly, not enough that she would notice, of course, just enough distance to give yourself a little time to get your head straight.

distance had never really factored into your close friendship before though, and maya was unwavering in her presence. it was like she had a sixth sense for when there was something weighing on you, and she made it her mission to help ease that load.

"hey, i made you a cuppa," maya knocked lightly on your open door and poked her head around. you couldn't help but smile genuinely at the gesture, "i'm doing some washing, you want me to do yours too?"

"oh, thank you, is that okay?" you asked hesitantly, and maya nodded. you slid off your bed and began to gather the dirty washing that lay strewn across your floor. you were never too great at keeping your room tidy on the best of days, but whenever your mind ran away from you, it was always the first thing to deteriorate. of course, maya knew this.

"yeah course," maya placed the tea down on your bedside table, then perched in her usual position on your bed to watch you. "you okay?"

there was a slight waver in her voice, and you could read her so well that you immediately recognised it as concern, laced with a tiny bit of anxiety. you knew maya, knew her mind would worry. you didn't want her to blame herself, and instantly you felt bad.

arms now laden with clothes, you straightened and nodded, "yeah sorry, just tired." then, seeing the soft smile on maya's face, you couldn't keep it up much longer, "i'm coming in now anyway, you want to watch something?"

maya smiled, taking the clothes from you, "sounds good, give me five minutes!"

sighing, you watched her leave. well, your plan didn't last long. picking up the tea, you followed her into the living room. distance clearly wasn't going to work.

---

"hey, maya?" you called hurriedly, rummaging through your cupboard. she hummed in response, "have you seen my-"

"your boots?" maya appeared in the doorway, holding out your shoes with a smirk, "they were dirty as hell so i cleaned them for you."

"oh," you blushed, "thank you," you took them from her, almost reverently. she was just too good for you.

"now let's go - we're gonna be late!"

you followed her out the door, taking a deep breath in. you were already stressed, you had so much to do, and if maya was going to be this sweet to you all day, you were worried you might just keel over and die.

---

"i'll make dinner tonight, okay?"

you nodded, peeling off your soaked through socks with a wince. maya sat next to you in the changing room, already showered and dressed, her hand placed comfortingly on your thigh. training, as expected, had been awful, it was cold, wet, and your mind had been occupied. you knew you'd played crap, but coach had so kindly reminded you multiple times, leaving you to run an extra few laps once training was done.

you only had yourself to blame. things with maya were just piling up, everything else seemed to be going wrong, and it was taking all your effort to keep yourself sane without upsetting her. distance might've been the easy way out, but there wasn't a chance in hell that you'd do anything to make maya feel guilty, or worried.

all you wanted was to have a warm shower, go home and collapse on the sofa, preferably next to maya. unfortunately, your agent had other plans, and you were required at some media thing before you could relax. you sighed at the thought. you had so much to do this weekend too, plus your room needed cleaning, the mess having steadily piled up from the stress of it all.

and now here was maya, ever thoughtful, offering to cook dinner, even though it was your turn tonight. she was so sweet, you could almost cry. you took a deep breath, turning to look at her.

"you're the best maya." she smiled in response, and squeezed your thigh, before standing.

"i know, now go shower, you look like shit."

only maya could pull a laugh out of you at times like this. you nodded, and dragged yourself dutifully to the shower, wishing you could fast forward the next two hours so you could just go home.

---

the media stuff, as expected, had been shit. sure, some people enjoyed that kind of thing, but to you it felt like being paraded around like a dancing bear, just being poked and prodded with sticks. okay, maybe you were exagerrating, but today had just been really, really shitty, and you wanted to go home.

you fumbled with your keys, fingers numb from the rain, before finally, thankfully, managing to push the door open. you stepped inside, soaking in the warmth, and the smell of maya's cooking. your eyes adjusted to the low, orange light, and you felt yourself relax almost immediately.

there was low music coming from the kitchen, and you could hear maya humming gently along. hoisting your heavy bag a little further up your shoulder, you elbowed open your bedroom door, before stopping in your tracks.

your eyes widened as you took in your room - what had earlier resembled a bomb site now looked cleaner than you'd ever seen it. there were even candles lit on the desk, filling the room with flickering shadow and the comforting smell of vanilla. maya's vanilla.

you heard hurried footsteps behind you, before you felt maya come to a stop behind you. you couldn't quite bring yourself to turn around, for fear of her seeing the emotion threatening to spill out of your eyes at such a small, but meaningful, gesture.

"i, um, i tidied your room for you," maya sounded tentative, nervous even. she rushed to continue. "i just knew you'd had a rough day and i know your room gets messy when you're stressed so i just wanted to help, i hope you don't mind," you didn't know what to say, it was so small, but it felt like the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for you.

when you didn't reply maya spoke again, quieter this time, "i'm sorry, did i do the wrong thing?"

at maya's apology, you spun to face her, rapidly shaking your head.

"no, maya, i- thank you," you rushed to placate her, not wanting her to worry. your voice was choked, full of feeling. you pulled her into a hug, and she breathed an audible sigh of relief, as though she had been expecting you to be angry.

you held on tighter than you should've. you couldn't think of any other way to convey your thanks. it was such a tiny gesture, but to you, it meant everything. after such an awful day, maya had gone out of her way just to make things a little lighter. something she knew you struggled with when you were stressed, and she'd just helped you like it was nothing. you couldn't put it into words.

you'd never felt so loved.

you paused, pulling out of the hug, deep in thought, because that was exactly it. you thought back to why you were so desperate to get over maya, driven by fear of repeating the past, full of failed relationships and heartbreak.

before, in relationships, you'd always been filled with doubt. they'd said the words, sure, but how were you ever meant to be certain that they meant them? you'd keep yourself awake at night, worrying if they were serious, until either they proved you right, or your insecurites drove them away.

but here, with maya, it felt different. all that doubt, all that insecurity, you realised you've never felt like that with maya. all of a sudden, and with some certainty, you realised you've known for quite some time.

you think back to all the gifts, all the touches, all the time and the looks, the actions and the words, and you realise there's never been any lingering doubt. maya has shown you time and time again that she loves you. now you had some catching up to do.

"hey maya?" she hums, already moving to leave your room. ordinarily, you would never have been this bold, this confident. ordinarily, you would've been twisting your fingers in anxiety, stuttering out the words. right now, however, you had never been so sure.

"i love you too."

you've said those words countless times to her, but you know it's different now. you can tell maya can tell from the tone of your voice too, because when she looks up at you there's no confusion, only eyes swimming with hope, and pure, deep, boundless affection.

you reach out and pull her towards you, so your faces are barely inches apart. her eyes flicker down to your lips, then back to your eyes.

"i um, i didn't say-" her voice is low and hoarse, and she cuts herself off, because you both know its not true. tension ripples around you, until you can't stand it. when her eyes flicker down a second time, you close the gap. her lips are soft, and she lets out a pleased little gasp as you kiss her softly.

"yeah, you did," you smile, and maya returns it, "you say it everyday."

this is actually so shit i'm sorry, the idea's been in my drafts for literal months, i wanted to do it justice bc mlt deserves all the love but i hate like at least half of this lmao it got so repetitive i'm sorry

all love, soph xx

[eddith]

What nobody tells you about One Piece is that yes, it's a long story, more than 1000 episodes and chapters (and is still ongoing).

And yes, this has been going on for over 27 years, but my dear friend, the focus of this long fantasy is found family!!

So imagine my shock when I discovered, after watching the opla first and then the anime, that this is just a manga/anime version of the million words of fanfic I've been consuming????

But with SO much originality and world building and let me say again, FOUND FAMILY!!!!!!!

Like, I don't think people understand how much One Piece was made for me, but I never knew about this wonderful story because all people talk about is how long it is and the fights. 😭😭😭😭

like!!! like!!!!!!!!!

[ragnarokhound]

For the au ask game!

OKAY I wanted specifically to get to the pokemon au from the ask you sent, it's been cooking a bit so it's time to see what comes out of the oven, so... @azol-otl ty for the ask!

Crossover au's are all about the fused worldbuilding for me and speculating on how characters from universe A would fit into universe B heehee hoohoo - and for Batfam especially it's fun to think about the equivalent of their roles as vigilantes! What kind of people have the same level of celebrity, the same sideways seeking of justice?

Naturally this leads you to the gym leaders because a) it's the most fun and b) they are like. Quasi-law enforcement/educators/professional athletes depending on how you try to translate the innate child's perspective on the pokemon universe into something that makes sense as an adult lol ilu pokemon. [insert 'compels me though' gif here]

SO with this in mind, here's 5 fun facts (that are mostly backstory lmao) from a jaytim pokemon au I would write

I'm deeply ill about pokemon so this one goes under the cut lol:

Jason Todd used to be the Champion. He won the role after Dick Grayson quit a year or two before (Dick had been getting older and chafing under the League rules - meaning he'd been chafing under how Bruce ran the League) and was a fierce competitor who didn't believe in going easy on anyone. His Houndoom was a force to be reckoned with, and despite running a mostly Dark-type team, his Honchkrow cleaned up anyone thinking their Fighting-types could sweep. He looked after the League and Gotham with a cocky, self-assured attitude and the win record to back it up. .

Jason disappeared suddenly at the age of 15. Many assumed him dead, after a Rocket (Or whatever Gotham themed gang name we want to go with lol could be Team Joker) bombing in the area he'd last been seen, but he's officially declared missing. Bruce Wayne took back the duties of interim Champion as he once did for Dick Grayson, but he's not quite the mentor he once was. It's obvious he's grieving, and that he doesn't want to mentor any more twelve year olds. Dick signed up to be a Gym Leader shortly after this, returning from his trip about a year early to help out in the chaos following Jason's disappearance. .

Enter Tim Drake. Tim's gym challenge wasn't all that interesting in the circuit at first; he had a rocky start and had to retake a few gym challenges. He wasn't exactly sweeping on his first try every time like Jason had done. He didn't have the meteoric rise that caught the Champion's attention early, didn't get one-on-one mentorship or face-to-face meetings, cautionary advice and congratulations all rolled into one from Bruce Wayne himself - but Tim had patience and grit, and he paid attention. He was gunning for the Championship, and it wasn't just so he could prove himself. Team Rocket/Joker was still out there, and Bruce needed all the help he could get. He was always better for Gotham when he had a Robin. .

Dick had been nicknamed Robin for his all-Flying-type team and especially his Natu-then-Xatu; Jason followed up with his Murkrow-then-Honchkrow; Tim's Rookidee was one among many (Robin-esque pokemon were popularized by Dick and the trend remains through Tim's day) so he wasn't considered a possible Robin successor until it was a Corvisquire and he was about to face Dick Grayson himself, a badge away from Victory Road. By then, Tim and his team were a well-oiled machine (he runs mostly Steel-types lol but also Normal-types for the unexpected adaptability and the 'underestimate my rattata i dare you it's in the top peRCENTAGE--' of it all. FEAR.), and his loss-record had all but frozen while his win-record ticked higher and higher. .

Shit finally goes down about three years after Tim has become Champion and all but bullied Bruce into mentoring him (he basically said 'if you don't watch me, i'll go find Team Rocket/Joker on my own' and triggers all of Bruce's child endangerment traumas simultaneously) and the mysterious Rocket/Joker leader Red Hood shows up, bringing the gang out of the shadows in pursuit of a hidden agenda. Identity shenanigans and "wait is that a Houndoom? But he's only been using Ghost-types, it CAN'T be..." and heel-face turns abound. .

(BONUS FACT: Something something, Jason went into deep cover with Looker or whoever he is, that Interpol guy from X & Y (WAIT. LOOKER MIGHT ACTUALLY BE TALIA AL GHUL IN THIS AU HOHOHO), infiltrating the Rocket/Joker gang and going public as Red Hood is the first step in the last phase of the sting. Cue a million tense Jaytim interactions in which Tim is legitimately trying to take Red Hood down and Jason desperately tries to shake him so that he doesn't do anything that forces Jason to blow his cover. There is at least one 'tugged into a tight space to hide them both from the actual bad guys, "wait, did you just HELP me...?" "Think whatever you want, babybird"' interaction because I am a slut for the first sprinkles of a redemption arc that is rife with UST fufufu)

[milolovesbmc]

I've pretty much never written anything like this before, but it was actually really fun and here's to hoping it's good because I can't really tell........ Anyways here's some art for it, fic under the cut!! :)

Twenty-eight: Storm

The kids are 28

Sometimes Doug has to sit on the roof.

He sits hunched over with his knees tucked tight between his arms. He covers his eyes with his hands and pressures until there's black spots blocking his vision. He presses on both of them, even though he doesn't have two eyes to feel the pressure on. Pressing his left one, the eye socket, feels especially nice, it makes him feel dizzy.

It's not like when he was eight and fantasized about climbing on the roof. He used to picture himself standing on the very edge, putting his faith in the hands of the statues, hoping the angels would push him off.

It doesn't give him a rush. Sometimes he just needs to breathe and the roof of his house is the only place where he actually can.

Mainly because it's not his house.

He's dating this girl, Elaine.

She moved in two (or was it three?) years ago. He remembers the day she did, it was Monday. Doug took the day off from whatever shitty job he had back then to help her move.

He kind of wishes he hadn't. She barged into his house, with the trunk of her car full of boxes and her hair tied up, claiming as much territory as she liked. He could only step back and watch. He had this feeling, deep in his gut, like something was wrong. Or missing. He wonders if that's how Corey felt.

It wasn't her assertiveness he minded. He liked that she knew what she wanted. He needed to be pushed around and roughed up. But watching her spread her belongings around his place just felt intrusive.

He feels a drop of water fall on his face, and then another. It's starting to rain.

In retrospect, he should've known, the sky had been grey all day. He's wearing a shirt and some sweatpants that will definitely get soaked in a matter of seconds. He still doesn't move from his spot on the roof.

It's times like these Doug wishes he had something to do with his hands, instead of just letting his mind wander. Maybe, Corey was onto something with the whole smoking thing. He used to say it calmed him down. Doug just liked the smell, the way it would cling into his clothes and stay there for what felt like forever.

It's not like he had been enabling Corey's smoking. Doug would go quiet and stare whenever he'd take a cigarette between his fingers. Corey never seemed to care. Somehow it would always end with both of them sitting closer than they were before and Doug blowing smoke out of his mouth.

At some point he had started lighting his best friend's cigarettes for him. Their weird kind of ritual stayed mostly the same, except this time around he was needed. Corey would look at him, holding a cigarette, practically boring his eyes into him, waiting for him to notice. Doug would wait until he got impatient and subtly rolled his eyes before scurrying to give him what he wanted.

Right now he misses the warmth and the weak flame that would light up part of Corey's face. He felt warm to Doug.

His hands were always freshly scrubbed clean, to the point of the skin looking raw. He remembers when Corey first touched him and poked at his wound. The momentary sharp pain when he picked the gravel out of his palms. His hands pressing into Doug's, cold spreading from one's hands to the other's. It was the kind of freezing cold that when stuck to your skin for a while, it almost felt warm.

Every time Corey would touch him, touch his scars and wounds and cuts, it felt ice cold for a minute, and then it was warm. A warmth that would get into his veins and make him feel like everything inside him had been shaken up.

It's raining even more now, it doesn't seem like it's going to stop anytime soon. He's soaked and the water's dripping down his face.

He wipes it off with the back of his hand.

The last time Doug saw him, Corey said he was dating some guy. Some asshole that wrecked his car and didn't even attend his father's funeral. Worst of all, he was living with the guy.

Who's freaked out by a dead body anyways? What a pussy.

It freaks him out, knowing he has settled down, left Doug behind. Corey used to need him. All those years ago.

This guy doesn't care about Corey like he does.

He would do anything he asked him to. He'd light his cigarettes even if it meant breathing the smoke in and feeling it scratch down his throat. He needs it.

Did Corey ever actually need him? Doug's not the only guy with a lighter in his pocket and the willingness to breath in.

He spins the shiny new ring on his finger until it's loose. Then he puts it back on again.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because Doug is getting married, to his girlfriend. He has settled down. He has settled down even more than Corey had. Who cares about what's-his-name and his stupid fear of funerals. He's getting married.

He sent Corey an invitation. A neat white card with both their and Elaine's name on it. Sent the night before, at three in the morning, not before he had emptied two cans of beer and almost half a bottle of pain meds.

It was stupid, Doug doesn't want him to come. He was just bleary from the pills. The last time he saw him, Corey made it clear he didn't care. He didn't care that Doug was in pain and he didn't care to mend his wounds.

He wouldn't have needed to take the pills back then if only he would've helped. He wouldn't need them now. It's like he wants him to be in pain. Wants to watch him suffer and whine and beg, trying to make his way into his hands, or arms, or anything.

The sky rumbles, the rain is pouring down even harder now, and the clouds are a dark grey.

He wants Corey to come to his wedding. Maybe his mere presence will make the pain go away. Maybe if he could have him again, just once. Maybe if he could just feel the warmth reaching out to him. Softening the sharp edges of his aching.

It'd be nothing like the funeral. He'd be good. He just needed one more chance. He could fix everything so that Corey could fix him. If the pain went away he could think clearly for once. Choose the right words to make him stay this time.

Corey came back, he always did. Maybe it was divine intervention, or just plain pity, but he came when Doug called his name. Reluctantly that is, but he came.

Every time he got injured, Corey was just where he needed him to be. Like a guardian angel.

Five years ago Doug walked in to the hospital. He vaguely recalls a nurse rushing to him. Being wrapped around in bandages so tight he felt nice and clean again. Getting pushed into a room.

He knows he sat on the bed staring at nothing for a while, he doesn't know how long it was, for a while he felt nothing. As if he had been watching himself sit from outside his own body. He might've been muttering something.

Until Corey arrived. Suddenly he was pushed back into consciousness and he saw a light, a way out. It didn't matter that said light reeked of alcohol and the mud on his shoes reached up to his knees.

He's abruptly made aware of his surroundings. The roof underneath him and the rain falling aggressively from above him. For a moment he thinks he can hear the sky rumble.

The clouds and the sky are a matching shade of pitch black and he can't make anything out.

For a fraction of a second, staring ahead into the dark, he sees a light. A tiny little flicker in the distance.

This was his way out. Of course. It was obvious now. He just needed to sit in that hospital once more. Corey would come. Corey would find him. Just like he found him five years ago. Someone would call him. Maybe he would just know to look for Doug. It all made sense.

He takes a step towards the edge.

The tiles under his feet are wet and slippery from the rain.

He takes a second one.

There's no angels to push him off this time. They want him to do it. He has to do it. He watches a tree get struck by lightning.

He takes a third step.

Everything around him glows a strange shade of blue.

Another one.

His skin buzzes painfully. He wants to scratch the buzzing off. He doesn't. Both his hands stay on his sides

And he takes another step.

Sweat drips down from his palms. He wipes them off on his shirt to no avail.

And a last one.

Sometimes Doug has to sit on the roof. This time he stands on the very edge.

[kananjarus]

for all the haunts and homes of men // buddie // apocalypse au

chapter sixteen

Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Are you in the habit of seeing ghosts?” It was a nicer way of asking if he was more or less insane. 

Buck squeezed his eyes shut, trying to overcome the vertiginous feeling that was threatening to sweep him up and carry him away. If only Eddie knew. “Not a for a while now.”

“Oh, well that’s reassuring.”

Buck lifted his face, and when their eyes locked together, they seemed to get lost in each other. Eddie no doubt trying to diagnose him, or to see if Buck was the kind of person he could trust. Buck, hoping to see past the deep-gut feeling of familiarity of the man he’d just met and realizing that with every second that he looked, his feelings only became more complicated. 

[kindafooey]

Blood Chains has been getting some traction again with the new book released so I'm re-pinning it to make it easier for potential new readers to find yipeeee

[turnipoddity]

THE CHAINSHIPPING ART IS SO GOOD OH EM GEE.

(Is there perhaps any nsfw or suggestive art in the near future?)

YEAOOWW THANK YOU!!!! I’ve been thinking a specific scenario in mind… perhaps it could be a 2-3 page comic… based on a trope often met in fanfics (i could name you 5 or more fics that has this exact same scenario and all of them are amazing everytime)

but yknow… still in my mind… let us all hope i have enough free time to pull that one off LMAO

[wellzofyouth]

That one post of my mine predictably aged like fine wine. Never let somebody on comic twitter in the writer's room😭😭😭 Like imagine a 1 to 1 adaptation of literally any event?? -1b at the box office. "Who are these people???"

[planet4546b]

been realizing as ive been writing lately that i truly love nothing more than writing useless arguments between characters that go nowhere its my passion in life. what this means is i need to add more of this in signosie and i have the perfect place to do it so the address' plotline is gonna get all the horrible interpersonal arguments. yay <3

[quicktimeeventfull]

like i don’t think fandom in general or fic in particular has ever been fully noncommercial — with very few exceptions, it’s centred around some sort of commercial property. i also don’t think there’s anything wrong with engaging in the commercial aspects of fandom. it’s fun and normal to buy merch and go to launch parties and all that. however. fandom has always run a bit contrary to the actual commercial interests of the property it’s centred around. it has always been a space where minoritized people gather and insert themselves into the stories they love. it’s countercultural, it’s born out of a desire to circumvent or at least add to what has been provided. it is the expressed desire to see oneself present in the narrative. i do think it’s cool that it’s getting more mainstream acceptance and i don’t even think it’s inherently bad that franchises are acknowledging their fandoms but there IS an actual genuine value to fandom as a weird little niche for freaks and i do not want to see that destroyed.

[angel---eater]

i kinda wish sometimes that i had more ppl to just like discuss and jam about meat&candy but im having way way way too much of a good time vibing on my own

[nights-flying-fox]

finding your stellar association

Moving Group, also called a Stellar Association.

A loose grouping of stars which travel together through space.

On their first trip to Earth, the brothers find a lost part of their family.

✨️ Click here to read on AO3 ♡

🌙 Celestial AU by @ashwii

☄️ 2,916 words || rottmnt au

☀️ based on/inspired by this ask

 "I don't think this is working." Raph whispered.

 "You kidding? This is working just fine!" Leo replied.

 "I'm pretty sure people noticed something's off." Raph said, glancing around.

 "Relaaaax big guy, just enjoy our trip in the city that never sleeps." Leo said in a laid back manner.

 Raph sighed but said nothing more as Leo stepped forward, taking the lead and turning to face his brothers as he walked backward. "Raph, please, if someone had suspected anything, we wouldn't be walking around freely like that." He pointed out. "Also even if they did, we'd still be fine. We're immortal!"

 "Somewhat immortal." Donnie corrected him without looking away from the scenery around them. The skyscrapers and the giant screens with bright lights had magnified Donnie. They never had the chance to see them like this from their home. Though Leo understood his enthusiasm and shared it a bit, he was still bitter seeing the light pollution.

 "It's almost the same thing." Leo shrugged. "What matters right now is our perfect surprise to April."

 "We'll blow her mind!" Mikey exclaimed as he jumped by Leo's side. He wrapped one arm around Leo's shoulders and began walking backward as well.

 "Definitely, her expression will be priceless." Leo grinned.

 Raph swiftly scooped them up, holding them from their shells with ease, while being careful to not rip their clothes. He didn't want to lose time by going through another search for clothes that would fit and hide their... well, whole situation. "Will you two stop walking so carelessly? You'll trip and fall into a sewer or something." He scolded them. "This isn't space, this is New York."

 "Thanks for the reminder, Raph."

 He glared at Leo, knowing well he could see Raph's expression even though shadows covered his face thanks to his hoodie. Without thinking twice, he dropped Leo and kept walking with Mikey in his left hand.

 While Leo yelped, Mikey cheered, "Free ride!"

 Donnie ignored his twin as he kept walking, other than snorting at his fall. "Raph, are you sure we're on the right track?" Then he asked, eyes still glued to everything around them.

 "Yeah, I have seen her walking to her apartment. More than once." The eldest replied, thinking of the days he'd try to make his friend's tiring days better with the perfect sunny weather.

 "I know, and I saw her walking to her apartment too during some nights-"

 "Don't underestimate yourself, Dee. We all know it's not just nights but days too, as our dear insomniac brother." His twin cut him with a smirk.

 "Shut up, Leo." Donnie glared at him. "You are as guilty as I am. Anyways, what I was saying is that seeing the planet like this" -he gestured at himself to emphasize his point- "is much different than the way we watched this planet from up there."

 "I know, but trust me we're not lost." Raph said.

 "I trust you, Raph, but I was thinking maybe using public transport for our favors wouldn't be bad." Donnie offered.

 Ah, so this is what he actually wants, Raph thought. "We're not using the subway."

 "But Raph-"

 "We can explore human things later." Raph stated. "Our priority is finding April. Then we can do whatever we want."

 Donnie huffed but didn't say anything else. He had gotten distracted by something else once again quickly. Raph kept an eye on him, just like how he kept an eye on Leo and Mikey too. This was their first time on Earth's surface, so it was better to be careful. Something his brothers were not good at doing. He constantly had to be sure that Donnie didn't steal something that caught his attention, Mikey didn't accidentally trip and fall, and Leo-

 Raph gave a startled yelp with the sudden weight on his shell. He turned quickly, only to see Leo. "What in the name of Venus are you doing on my back?"

 "Simple, I wanted a free ride too." Leo answered as if it was the most normal thing ever. "No fire shell means possibly perfect traveling spot."

 "Is it comfortable?" Mikey asked.

 "Yep." Leo answered.

 "I bid for the next shell ride." Mikey announced.

 Raph rolled his eyes. Leo's weight was barely noticeable now. He kinda liked it, even. It wasn't like he could hold his brothers close before, and just like Leo mentioned, his shell wasn't on fire, and he wasn't ablaze like in his actual form-

 His eyes grew with realization.

 Raph, the celestial being and protector of the Sun, could hug his brothers with no issue like this.

 And his first victim was Donnie. He pulled Donnie into a hug with his free arm, causing his brother to yelp with confusion. He also pulled Mikey into a proper hug. The two brothers looked at him confusedly, while Raph smiled widely. Leo had a knowing smile on his face and wrapped his arms around his big brother's neck.

 "What's happening?" Donnie asked, trapped in Raph's arms.

 "That's called hugging, Donnie." Leo informed helpfully.

 "I know that, I don't understand why now we're hugging."

 "Because this hug is different." Raph said happily. "No eclipse, no melting, no burning."

 Donnie and Mikey's faces lightened up with realization.

 Mikey immediately wrapped his arms around Raph's arm, "You're a genius!" he exclaimed. Donnie gave an offended gasp, and Leo laughed with joy. He wasn't sure if the happiness was simply because he enjoyed his brothers' antics or because of Raph's infectious (literally, considering how Leo could feel his emotions sometimes) joy.

 They had forgotten they were standing on the pavement until someone bumped at them. To be fair they were taking the back streets to be sure no one noticed them, hiding in the shadows. And yet, Raph looked down only to be met with a really short person.

 "Oh, pardon me." Raph apologized, stepping back. He didn't notice the trash bins behind him, which he (and his brothers) fell into.

 The stranger only could watch as the boys immediately squirmed out of the trash pile. Leo's face was in disgust, Donnie looked like he was going to throw up, and Mikey casually shook all the trash off him. Raph groaned at the smell, "April will not like this surprise." 

 They all seemed to have forgotten about their disguise and about the stranger until they heard a weak whisper:

 "My sons?.."

 The brothers, with a mix of panic and confusion, suddenly remembered the stranger. After a second of silence, "Excuse me, what?" Leo asked.

 "How... what..?" The man whispered again, looking as confused as they were.

 "Sir, I think you're mixing us up with someone else." Raph said, trying to stay calm.

 "Definitely, with some other teenagers with greenish skin-" Donnie started but couldn't finish when Leo elbowed and glared at him. "-which is certainly because of all of this trash. Definitely." Donnie quickly added, trying to save the situation. 

 "You're turtles." The stranger stated.

 "See, you ruined everything." Leo glared at Donnie. 

 "It's you who doesn't have his hoodie anymore." The twin with the purple moon-themed hoodie retorted.

 Leo gasped and looked at himself, realizing that Donnie was right.

 Mikey giggled while Raph tried hard to not push them back to the trash bin.

 "You..." The small man's whispers turned to soft sobs, gaining their attention again.

 Now, they may be celestial beings in disguise of mortals (kind of) with great power, but when it came to comforting a stranger, the only thing the boys could do was stare at him or look at each other in hopes someone knew what exactly to do.

 In short, they didn't know what to do. 

 Mikey walked towards the man, putting a hand on his shoulder, "There, there..." he said comfortingly. Then turned to his brothers in a scolding manner, "I can't believe you guys made an old man cry!"

 "O-old man?!" The stranger stuttered in an offended way, turning his head to face Mikey.

 That was when Mikey saw that the man was not exactly a man, but a rat... rat-man? He gasped, "OMIGOSH ARE YOU LIKE US?"

 "What do you mean like- IS HE A RAT?" Raph said, maybe a little too loudly, once he joined Mikey's side.

 Both were hit in the face with the rat-man's tail. "You boys need a lesson on manners." He scolded as he wiped his tears. Then he smiled softly, looking at each of them one by one, "But I think it is right to say I am like you. Sort of."

 "What, no, how? We never heard of another celestial being. We've been around for years! There is no way I or Leo or any of us could miss out on someone else out there." Donnie circled the man, no more uncomfortable around him. Instead, his eyes shined with interest toward the new information and person.

 "Celestial beings? Oh, no, boys. You are wrong." The stranger shook his head with a sheepish smile.

 "Then what are you?" Donnie asked.

 "A mutant."

 "What's a mutant?" Mikey asked this time.

 "Me, and you?"

 "No, we're not mutants. We'd know if we were mutants." Leo said, getting more and more confused by the passing seconds.

 "Then what are you?" The rat-man asked, raising a brow.

 "Uh, celestial beings. Protectors of space stuff." Leo answered. "You know... stars, moon, sun, comets..."

 The stranger looked at them as if they had grown another head. He looked confused, then like he was grieving, and then strangely relieved. Finally, he sighed. "We can talk about it later. Now, I believe I never introduced myself. I am Splinter."

 Raph shook his hand. "I am Raph, this is Mikey," -Mikey waved- "Leo," -Leo smiled- "and Donnie." -Donnie nodded.

 "Nice to meet you, boys." Splinter smiled. Something told Leo that smile hid more emotions. 

 "Since we have met, may you explain why you called us your sons now?" Donnie interrupted.

 All the eyes turned to Splinter, awaiting an answer. He was clearly hurt, but also there was a small piece of joy sparkling in his eyes. "Of course, but it would be better if we talked about it somewhere else." He looked around him. Right, they were still standing on the pavement. "Somewhere safer would be much better."

 For some reason, Raph trusted him. Something about the way he looked at them, the way he talked... it was comforting. Almost familiar. Almost. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I know somewhere we could talk." He said. "A friend... I bet she wouldn't mind."

☆☆☆

 "You brought a stranger?!" April whisper-yelled.

 "I wouldn't call him a stranger." Leo said, looking back at the living room his brothers and Splinter were chilling in.

 "Leo, you literally met the guy half an hour ago!"

 He turned his attention back to her, "Look. I know it sounds weird, but I feel like I know this guy."

 She huffed, leaning on the kitchen counter. "It does sound weird, Leonardo."

 Eugh boy, she's using full names.

 "Maybe he is just a guy you saw while watching Earth on a nice night."

 "No, April, this is different." Leo insistent. "Way too different."

 April looked towards the living room, "I can't believe you manage to come for a visit with a 'trick' you figured out and on your first trip you end up befriending a stranger who calls you his sons and bring him into my apartment ." She looked back at him tiredly. "Have you ever heard of 'stranger danger' by any chance?"

 "Aww, come on April. You're happy that we are here, aren't you? So what if we got company, it's fine." He pulled her into a side hug. "If he does anything bad, we can handle it."

 "If he does anything bad, I am throwing you all out of my window." She stated.

 "Isn't it a bit brutal?"

 "With my bat." She added.

 "Gee, okay, okay." Leo moved away with his hands up. "You win. Now, can we listen to his tale?"

 April sighed, "Alright. Let's hear what rat-man has to say."

 Leo beamed with a wide grin.

 "And you better take a bath, you all stink!" She gagged as they walked towards the living room.

 "Priorities, April. Priorities." Leo sang.

 She rolled her eyes.

 In the living room, Splinter was sipping from the tea April had offered him. A stranger he may be, he still was her guest. Meanwhile, the boys had sat on the couch, facing Splinter, who sat on the chair. There was an awkward quiet in the room, but Leo wouldn't call it an uncomfortable one. 

 "Alright, we all are here and ready." Leo announced, sitting on the couch's arm. April leaned against the wall, standing next to him. "You can start your tale." 

 Splinter took a breath. Then he began talking. He talked about the years he fought as a movie star and then as a Battle Nexus champion (whatever that meant, the boys didn't know). He told them how a yokai- 

 "What's a yokai?" Mikey interrupted, gaining a shush! from the others. Yet Splinter explained to them that the yokai were people who looked similar to them since birth.

 Then he continued to explain that a yokai named Draxum caused the whole mess. "He wanted to mutate… mutate four turtles." Splinter said, words as if they hurt him physically, grimaced. It wasn't hard to guess this memory was painful for him. "You." He gestured at them. "He believed with my DNA, you'd be the perfect warriors. For what, I do not know exactly. I disagreed and fought against him. Things… got out of control pretty fast." He looked down at his hands. There was a moment of silence. None of the boys or April talked, giving him the time to gain the strength to continue. 

 Finally, Splinter talked again, "I ended up like this. A mutant." 

 "And the turtles?" Mikey asked.

 "They… they didn't make it out… alive." Splinter shut his teary eyes tightly. Then he opened them to look at the celestials with a new emotion. "At least, I thought so until tonight."

 "But how can we be them?" Donnie questioned. "It doesn't make sense."

 "I'd recognize you no matter what. I don't know how, but you're them. Even your names, they're the same." Splinter's voice was excited, and he smiled widely. "Raphael, Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo. The names of the four Renaissance painters."

 "You're telling me you named mutated turtles after Renaissance painters?" Leo asked with a smile.

 "Yes, for reasons. But that's unimportant. What is important is, do you know how you got your names?" Splinter leaned towards the boys with determined eyes. He knew he could prove the truth. He had to.

 Leo opened his mouth and then closed it. Noticing he had no answer, he turned to Raph. He was the oldest of them, he'd know this, right? But Raph looked as lost as he was. 

 "I never thought how we always knew our names actually." Raph revealed. "I just knew mine and yours my whole life." 

 "See? And I believe you have some knowledge of fighting, correct?" Splinter asked. 

 April answered instead of them this time, "Surprisingly, they know some fighting moves." Then she turned to them. "You never explained where you learned them or how you ended up with your weapons."

 Raph looked lost once again. "Fighting is more of an instincts thing." He admitted. 

 "But our weapons are inspired by our observation of humans." Mikey chimed in.

 "What even this has to do with all of this?" Donnie turned to Splinter. 

 "Draxum created you using my DNA so he could have the perfect fighters." Splinter explained. "The perfect warriors." He repeated.

 "And you're a fighter, right." Donnie was putting the pieces together, still unbelievingly.

 "See? How else would I know all of that?" Splinter laughed, even though his boys looked uncertain. 

 Until Mikey's face lit up with realization as if he remembered something he had forgotten, a memory buried deep down. Something from a long time ago. "You are the one that wished for a chance for his lost sons." He gasped. Everyone turned to look at him. "Please, give them another chance in life. Let their souls live the life they deserved, and..."

 "... wherever they are, let them be happy." Splinter finished with tears in his eyes once again. "Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, my sons." 

 The gap between the silence and loud exclamations was no longer than a millisecond. 

 Mikey ran and hugged Splinter, holding him tightly. Raph was laughing while Donnie smiled and teared up, and Leo was speaking about how he couldn't believe all of this. 

 "First we get a sister," He gestured to April, who in return smiled at him with equal excitement, "and now a dad! What are the chances of this?" 

 "Life's full of surprises." April sang. 

 Leo grinned at her. "It sure is." 

 He suddenly got pulled into the hug with April by none other than the eldest turtle. Donnie was already a part of it, and Leo could see how he seemed to like it. 

 And while none of them said, the boys felt something missing in their lives being filled. They knew the hug was right. Being together with Splinter- their dad!- and April was right. This was right. They knew it.

 That night the stars glowed brighter, and so did the moon. There was an unexpected comet passing by Earth. The next morning the sun had never been this bright and warm, yet not tiringly hot. It was like everything was right. Everything was perfect.

[grimalkinmessor]

LITERALLY BEGGING AO3 TO SEND UNPOSTED DRAFTS TO YOU IN AN EMAIL WHEN THEY DELETE THEM LIKE THEY DO FOR FULL FICS THIS IS THE FOURTEENTH TIME I'VE LOST A GOOD CHUNK OF WRITING PROGRESS BECAUSE I MISSED THE CUT OFF FOR DELETION 😭😭😭😭

[doomed-era]

looking back at my writing on ao3 and getting mad at it because I still dont know how to format.

[courtney-deserved-better]

i cant start another tdwt rewrite i cant start another tdwt rewrite i have to finish amicus curiae and the time travel au and do an mkulia rewrite ive already started working on one impulsive competition fic this week I CANT START ANOTHER TDWT REWRITE FIC

[alienaiver]

Summary: Even if the Seven Days of Mourning has passed, your grief will not let you rest. Your father, your kingdom's crown, has untimely left the earth. Now it's your job to go from Crown-in-Waiting to actual Crown of the Karasuno Kingdom. With the kingdom's grief and responsibility on your shoulders, it's your time to rule - all the while figuring out how an assassination on your beloved father succeeded. You're just grateful that you have your advisor - and biggest supporter - Sugawara Koushi, by your side to ground you.

wordcount: 28.7k words

General tags: Royal Advisor AU, Fantasy AU, SFW, mild to medium angst, gender neutral reader, POC!friendly reader, bodytype!friendly reader, slow-burn, romance, no use of y/n, comfort, mutual pining, idiots to lovers, reader is royalty, mentions of loss and grief, minor character death (reader's father), these idiots are so tense and official around each other that it hurts, minor violence, surely it should be illegal to type out 'your majesty' as much as i have, i'm sorry if my little crime solving takes up space - i dont even like the crime and thriller genre 🤡, i cared too much abt world-building here, if anyone wanna know the economic history of this world (including the three recessions and inflation time periods) let me know! im insane!, vaguely described sword fighting and related wounds in the final chaper go to each chapter for more detailed tags and warnings

A/N: i have made a big effort into making this reader as gender neutral as possible so that men, women and nonbinary people can all insert themselves! therefor i refer to the ruler of the kingdom as 'the crown' instead of king/queen etc! clothes are not described in whether or not theyre pants/dresses but instead in fabric and colors. this has been my main goal as a nb person! ✨ i hope i succeeded! otherwise i dont have much else to say, but that i hope u enjoy this baby of mine! 🧡

Chapter 1: miles, 8.7k words

Chapter 2: inches, 7.9k words

Chapter 3: collision, 12k words

ao3 link