#but its a damn interesting start
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ninyard · 3 months ago
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some hc about Aaron & Matt's friendship 🥹
i feel like when Aaron found out that Andrew drugged Matt for his sake he might've spoken to Matt, maybe to apologise, maybe not, but just to say something.
imagine feeling like your brother doesn't give a shit about you, thinking that you're not even on his radar of people worth caring about, and then you find out that he did that? that he did what he did to you, but so much worse, to someone you hardly even know? and not only that, but he did it for you?
picture Matt, in Abby's place, sick and pale, sleeping most of the time when he's not a crying, sweating mess. he apologises to Abby constantly, sorry for how he looks, how he smells, how violently ill he is because of Andrew. tensions are high everywhere, people are disappointed and angry, and nobody knows how to treat the situation. are we angry at Andrew? are we angry at Matt, for taking the drugs in the first place? are we disappointed that this even happened at all?
and Aaron knocks on the door, a shy and hesitant rap of his knuckles on wood, and when he steps in the room, it takes Matt a second to realise it's Aaron, not Andrew. he doesn't even know the twins well enough yet to tell the difference, but Aaron's wearing something that shows he's not wearing the arm bands. so he knows it's Aaron.
"you don't have to be here," Matt croaks, his voice hoarse from disuse, raw from the acid of his stomach that has stayed mostly empty over the last few days. "sign a get well soon card like the rest of them."
"you look rough." Aaron says, an observation that gets a weak laugh from Matt. "how do you feel?"
"about as good as you can imagine," Matt shuffles up in the bed, and covers his mouth to try and stop a wave of nausea that hits him as he moves. Aaron looks away, seeing himself in the bed, knowing how this feels. "let's skip this part, man. i'm too tired. what do you want?"
maybe Aaron can't say it, he doesn't know the right words, maybe he doesn't even know for certain that Andrew did it for him at all. but he knows, of course he does. why else would he? Aaron looks at him, he looks at the circles around his eyes, the sweat on his forehead, and the for-now empty puke bowl on the bedside table.
Aaron wasn't even sure why he came in the first place. Abby stopped him outside, just barely knowing his history with drugs, and told him that Matt was not a pretty sight - it was hard to see, hard to look at. she told him not to go in, to leave it another day or two, or even until Matt could bare to stand up to leave her apartment. does Matt know? was he told? is he going to hate Aaron now, more than he already does, if he tells him why he thinks Andrew has put him in this position? will Matt even believe him if he tells him that he gets it? is it even worth the breath it'd take to say i'm sorry?
maybe Aaron thinks about opting for something else - some support in the way of an i get it, or an it's going to be okay, while knowing that's the last thing he would've wanted to hear in Matt's position. Aaron knows he would've told anyone that offered their shitty, meaningless words of support to him in that position to fuck off and mind their own business, but instead Matt sits there, and he waits, and he listens.
"Andrew didn't do it to kill you," he says, not even the words that he meant to say at all. "he doesn't care about you enough to bother."
"i know." Matt says, and Aaron looks at him like he's not sure how he can be so certain. "but he didn't do it for himself, either, did he?"
does sorry even feel like enough? would Aaron's empathy and understanding be meaningful at all, as Matt lay there, his energy sapped and his brain not working as it should?
i think regardless of how that conversation goes, or where it happens, or how it happens, Matt and Aaron have some sort of understanding between them - Matt is angry that Andrew did this for Aaron, that it was Aaron's fault, in a way, that this happened to him, but he knows it wasn't Aaron's choice. he sees that guilty look in his eyes as he walks into that room, and knows that Aaron had nothing to do with what happened that night. Aaron knows that Matt doesn't blame him, and he gets it - maybe. maybe Matt sees how sick Aaron looks as he looks back at him, how his mouth is downturned in an uncomfortable frown that he poorly tries to hide. maybe if Aaron did apologise, on his own behalf, on Andrew's behalf, maybe Matt wouldn't even accept it anyway. because he knows what temptation can do, he knows what seeing an addict does to an addict. he knows why Andrew did it, if anything else, and he knows why Aaron needed him clean.
i don't know where this is going, really, but i just wonder if they ever spoke about it - if Aaron ever approached Matt in those early days, if they ever understood each other in such a way that knows why they both lay or stood in the positions that they did. just a thought.
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athlast · 7 months ago
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there's something about butches reclaiming protectiveness and chivalry from an imposed "caring, nurturing" character associated and often forced upon women. something about how while straight men often try to present as careless as possible, masculinity and care are not only not conflicting in the butch identity, but inherent to it. there's something there.
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katabay · 3 months ago
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WOW this has been ROUGH in the Life Events category of things, but. slowly crawling out of that. hopefully
this was the opening scene for a something I started writing after watching the Manben inverview with Nishi Keiko and thinking back to all the classic shoujo manga I stayed up reading back in the day, like damn that's so true Urasawa Naoki
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it's partially a love letter to all the greats of the genre that I read, and also to the late night teleseryses that captivated me over the years lmao. it'd be nice to find the time to tackle it properly as a comic, but I'm having fun working on it recreationally :)
✨but since it's recreational, some character info✨
the first character seen is lawrence 'law' valenciano (late 30s), the one with the glasses is cris volante (mid-later 20s). law works at a karinderya, cris is an extremely broke university student.
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta / tip jar!
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werewolfoffeverswamp · 9 months ago
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hate this guy
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simptasia · 2 months ago
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LOST: Season One
#lost#abc lost#lost one cap per ep#this was a project i was gonna do anyways but the timing worked out that i could post the first one on the 20th anniversary!#this is one cap per ep every season. from left to right. and this is important: its not a cap that sums up each ep#its a cap that REPRESENTS each ep. the way i choose them varies every episode#sometimes its an utterly iconic moment. sometimes it reps the theme of the ep. or it hits with a theme of the character themselves#sometimes the cap i use won't even involve the character whose centric episode it is. trust me. this makes sense#anyways i'll give a good example: for outlaws i was so tempted to use a shot of the judgemental soulful gaze of the boar#or perhaps sawyer in the rain after he shot that man#but! i used that shot of sawyer's dads legs as sawyer is hiding under the bed. i feel it worthy because this moment. this scene#is literally a core part of sawyer. it's a defining moment of his backstory. of his character. so yeah. makes sense yeah?#anyways some eps had Too Much going on (lord i could make one of these for exodus part 1 alone) and some not enough#or well they DID but like lacked in caps that Hit in the way im thinking. thank heavens charlie shot ethan cuz i was worried about that ep#i was like ''aw shit what am i gonna use'' and then an iconic lost moment happened kjhfdsjkhfd#anyways. there are 25 eps in season one. so im really glad that the last ep contains one of the moment iconic visuals/moments in all of los#oh i should add that these caps are unedited. i did not fuck with the colours or saturation in any way#i found 'em and i pieced them together. this is harder than it sounds. i browsed through all the screencaps of every ep of season one#and i will do so the remaining five seasons#some of these were super easy like i knew what cap i'd be using before i even started (eg. do no harm. the moth. in translation)#but some took some real Thinking. and some eps even had several caps that would have worked. this has all been quite interesting#also yeah. y'all already know damn well what cap i'm using for the very last episode
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stiffyck · 2 months ago
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Artists on Instagram and tiktok and most other sites are the strongest people on earth because the comments are always fied with so many stupid people. I'd be murdering them if that was on my posts.
People have no idea what the fuck art is.
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geodaio · 22 days ago
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Ok I was rewatching X-Men: First Class (the cherik brainworms got me) and I am very curious...
You can define his flirting "working" however you would like, this is for science okay. Please elaborate in the tags about your answers if you feel so inclined
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sejanusarchive · 2 months ago
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There’s so many layers to Sejanus being devastated by Marcus’s fate. He hates how the districts are treated by the Capitol, hates the cruelty of the Hunger Games, he feels the same emotional pain he would have felt being a tribute himself, if not even more, having to watch completely safe from afar, unable to do anything to put an end to the senseless slaughter, while guilt gnaws at him for not risking getting picked to participate himself, for having escaped. No innocent child deserves that, and it gets even worse when one of the children picked is someone he personally knows, someone he used to share a routine with, someone he used to spend hours alongside in a classroom.
And that child isn’t just someone, that child is Marcus, the kind boy who, while not even being his friend, went out of his way to help him when he got hurt, completely unprompted, just out of the goodness of his heart. That boy is a testament to what Sejanus already knows, that everyone seems to keep forgetting, which is that humanity at its core is and can be better than how it’s currently behaving. Not to mention how that was probably the last time Sejanus ever experienced an act of such pure, unconditional kindness. And that simple gesture was so impactful on him, it was enough to cement Marcus’s presence in his heart for all those years and then the rest of his life, and it no doubt helped shape Sejanus into the person he became. Someone as good as Marcus shouldn’t be going through all of that, and it drives Sejanus crazy. If the Hunger Games were too much for him to handle before, now that Marcus is involved, they're unbearable.
But there’s more to Marcus. He is also a safe memory to Sejanus, one who undoubtedly often comforted him when he was feeling at his worst. And he’s one of the main things Sejanus thinks about when he thinks of District 2, his home. Home, which despite the fact that he lived there during the war, despite all the suffering he witnessed, despite the reality of the current living conditions there, is still Sejanus’s happy, safe place; it’s the place he belongs to, the place that could fix almost everything for him. But he can never return there. It has to exist only as a memory, kept safely locked away and untouched in his mind and heart.
But when Marcus arrives in the Capitol, he brings his home with him too, he is the physical manifestation of it. Sejanus’s desperation doesn’t just stem from the fact that it’s Marcus, the innocent, kind-hearted boy, undeserving of such cruelty; but also from the fact that that’s his Marcus as well, the one whose existence is synonymous to his home, his sweet boy from his memories, his comfort. Marcus being there doesn’t only mean the pointless, unjust death of a good person, Marcus being there also means the death of Sejanus’s home, its image no longer far away, safe and untouched, kept only in his mind. Now it’s here and crumbling in front of his eyes. He already knew the reality of things, but it was just that: knowledge. Now he’s face to face with it, face to face with the fact that neither Marcus or his home are or will ever be safe. And, worst of all, he has no way to save them, or anyone else, he’s powerless and completely hopeless against the cruelty of the Capitol, against their fate; and now more than ever, since he’ll have to witness the death of the boy whose memory so often brought him hope before.
In the end all that’s left of both of them, for Sejanus, is a small chunk of marble, made from the same material as his District and carved into the shape of a heart, because that’s exactly where Sejanus’s own is: home with Marcus. We learn he has carried it to his new life in Twelve, immediately before we learn the only pictures he’s taken with him are of his family and his classmates in Two, of him, home for one the last times, standing with Marcus right behind him. That heart is the last physical object connected to Two and Marcus that he’ll have with him for the rest of his life, the last symbol of what he lost and will never get back, of what he couldn’t save or help. But it’s also the one object connected to them that he brought with him when he regained faith, when he felt like he could finally make a difference and actually help people in the districts; the last symbol that things could still get better and not all hope is lost.
For Sejanus Marcus is a kind and innocent kid; he’s the good in humanity; he’s a safe memory; he’s the marble heart because he is hope and comfort, and despair and helplessness, and home, and because he is deeply rooted in his own heart
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koetjingwarrd · 2 years ago
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You're my baby, say it to me...
#gundam witch from mercury#gwitch#wfm#sulemio#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#i bet on losing dogs as per gwitch current story progression aka ep17 do you see my vision...#i have particular mixed feelings on ep 17 most of which i feel that the story is done a bit sloppy i think it started around ep 16 or 15#i really need to get this out so i could study damn it !!#first of all with miorine with the one who's losing a lot by being complicit with prospera's quiet zero significantly trapping herself furt#er in the cycle of revenge and also losing the friends she has come to cherish and also... at the same time knowing hal truths of what real#ly happened prospera true plan. vanadis. aerial and suletta true nature. earth as a spacian battleground. and the whole lot#i feel like she's rushing thru her birthday to eject sul asap from prosperas plan and now whats done is done i feel like she underestimate#what conviction on how suletta values what family means to her. prospera lines where she wonders whether sul will give aerial up#easily is giving vibes that its possible for suletta to take drastic measures to get her family back. miorine grows up on a world that#is defined by strict rules but suletta does not... that is after she's starting to get over her heartbreak i think...#whats interesting about gwitch is that although it considered utena as one of its base material it mixes said materials with how gundam sto#ryline works while simultaneously keeping up with today's themes. so honestly... when this happened today im a bit pissed#another thing that even though on a surface level suletta plays the role of utena with miorine as anthy they are also anthy and utena#respectively. suletta and utena with their kind hearted and naive self with a sense of justice left behind the insidious plot of the school#anthy and miorine titled the bride who adored their respective partner up to the point of deception and betrayal for their own good#SULETTA AND ANTHY GOD THE WITCh. red motifs. i find it funny they both have siblings okay this is messed up. the character shrouded in myst#ery. SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THE CHICK WHO IS YET TO HATCHH !!!! RAHHH#insert utena student council theme somewhere around here#and lastly utena and miorine. the “princess”that is ready to take on a world that is threatening her loved one. both are only child god no.#this is my personal feelings but i will find it heartbreaking that despite everthing suletta will runs to miorine no matter how much she#push her away... but i also want and find it interesting where despite loving and believing in her suletta will slowly will ALSO despise#her for letting them drift apart kind of like anthy and utena on the akio apocalypse arc....... do i want this to happen...? do i....? >yes#regardless augh what a heartwrenching lovely episode despite me knowing it will happen at some point during the show#im like the surprised pikachu meme with tears in my eyes
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bunnieswithknives · 2 months ago
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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milkbreadtoast · 1 year ago
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I binged this webtoon today and yesterday and it's rly good i like it sm... "your wings and mine"
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I didnt know what to expect going in(i keep my hopes low tbh) but I kept getting impressed w the writing... it's rly funny but also surprisingly emotional, it has me laughing out loud 1 moment and then crying the next and then laughing my ass off again... there's a lot of silliness but the serious moments don't feel out of place or cheesy at all bc they did such a good job of building the charas up to that point... and the genuine and heartfelt exchanges btwn the charas are simple but surprisingly feel fresh? like the writer was lowkey galaxy braining writing these kcdnfj And they actually did such a good job w the slow burn romance, it's so sweet and cute and fun to watch grow... 😭 i'm caught up now and im sad i need more
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yoiku · 29 days ago
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Love to see that everyone seems to be just as destroyed by the Babel event story in the most impressed yet heartbroken kind of way. The fandom is laying on the floor holding hands and sobbing in unison.
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storywestistrash · 2 months ago
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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puhpandas · 8 months ago
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Tony Becker is one of the only times that I've seen that a character has actually been doomed by the plot when people say he is
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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ganondoodle · 1 year ago
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me: coming to terms with my fanworks being really niche and not interesting to the majority of the fandom and maybe not the greatest in anything but decent enough to have a few people be interested and thats fine and good and i shouldnt feel bad about it and feel grateful for what i do have-
-sees other people getting into the same niche but with way cooler designs, ideas and writing, also way faster in making anything-
me: fuck fuck shit god damn fuck im gonna get bad grades at fanworks which is very real and possible to happen fucking hell oh gods no
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