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sejanusarchive · 13 days

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There’s so many layers to Sejanus being devastated by Marcus’s fate. He hates how the districts are treated by the Capitol, hates the cruelty of the Hunger Games, he feels the same emotional pain he would have felt being a tribute himself, if not even more, having to watch completely safe from afar, unable to do anything to put an end to the senseless slaughter, while guilt gnaws at him for not risking getting picked to participate himself, for having escaped. No innocent child deserves that, and it gets even worse when one of the children picked is someone he personally knows, someone he used to share a routine with, someone he used to spend hours alongside in a classroom.

And that child isn’t just someone, that child is Marcus, the kind boy who, while not even being his friend, went out of his way to help him when he got hurt, completely unprompted, just out of the goodness of his heart. That boy is a testament to what Sejanus already knows, that everyone seems to keep forgetting, which is that humanity at its core is and can be better than how it’s currently behaving. Not to mention how that was probably the last time Sejanus ever experienced an act of such pure, unconditional kindness. And that simple gesture was so impactful on him, it was enough to cement Marcus’s presence in his heart for all those years and then the rest of his life, and it no doubt helped shape Sejanus into the person he became. Someone as good as Marcus shouldn’t be going through all of that, and it drives Sejanus crazy. If the Hunger Games were too much for him to handle before, now that Marcus is involved, they're unbearable.

But there’s more to Marcus. He is also a safe memory to Sejanus, one who undoubtedly often comforted him when he was feeling at his worst. And he’s one of the main things Sejanus thinks about when he thinks of District 2, his home. Home, which despite the fact that he lived there during the war, despite all the suffering he witnessed, despite the reality of the current living conditions there, is still Sejanus’s happy, safe place; it’s the place he belongs to, the place that could fix almost everything for him. But he can never return there. It has to exist only as a memory, kept safely locked away and untouched in his mind and heart.

But when Marcus arrives in the Capitol, he brings his home with him too, he is the physical manifestation of it. Sejanus’s desperation doesn’t just stem from the fact that it’s Marcus, the innocent, kind-hearted boy, undeserving of such cruelty; but also from the fact that that’s his Marcus as well, the one whose existence is synonymous to his home, his sweet boy from his memories, his comfort. Marcus being there doesn’t only mean the pointless, unjust death of a good person, Marcus being there also means the death of Sejanus’s home, its image no longer far away, safe and untouched, kept only in his mind. Now it’s here and crumbling in front of his eyes. He already knew the reality of things, but it was just that: knowledge. Now he’s face to face with it, face to face with the fact that neither Marcus or his home are or will ever be safe. And, worst of all, he has no way to save them, or anyone else, he’s powerless and completely hopeless against the cruelty of the Capitol, against their fate; and now more than ever, since he’ll have to witness the death of the boy whose memory so often brought him hope before.

In the end all that’s left of both of them, for Sejanus, is a small chunk of marble, made from the same material as his District and carved into the shape of a heart, because that’s exactly where Sejanus’s own is: home with Marcus. We learn he has carried it to his new life in Twelve, immediately before we learn the only pictures he’s taken with him are of his family and his classmates in Two, of him, home for one the last times, standing with Marcus right behind him. That heart is the last physical object connected to Two and Marcus that he’ll have with him for the rest of his life, the last symbol of what he lost and will never get back, of what he couldn’t save or help. But it’s also the one object connected to them that he brought with him when he regained faith, when he felt like he could finally make a difference and actually help people in the districts; the last symbol that things could still get better and not all hope is lost.

For Sejanus Marcus is a kind and innocent kid; he’s the good in humanity; he’s a safe memory; he’s the marble heart because he is hope and comfort, and despair and helplessness, and home, and because he is deeply rooted in his own heart

#marble heart best character in the saga and it only appears very briefly twice #jokes aside its truly one of the most interesting elements in the book if not in the entire saga #this is my interpretation of only part of its meaning #im always thinking about that damn heart #also it took me days to write this cause i was never satisfied there was always more to say #(and bc im a perfectionist and kept rewriting each sentence but now i said whatever and just posted it)#everything about marcus and sejanus both separately and as a pair is SO interesting #such great characters and marcus isnt even around for that long #i love them so much #sejanus plinth #marcus tbosas #sejarcus #marble heart #gonna start tagging it every time i talk about it #ballad of songbirds and snakes

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quirkle2 · 2 months

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i have GOT to stop drawing things for fics i haven't written yet

#qkdraws #id in alt #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #mp100 #mp100 ritsu #ritsu kageyama #takenaka momozou #in general i think i'm pretty proud of this one #i was going for a very specific vibe and i'm not sure if i rly hit the mark but i got close i think #i love giving ritsu long as fuck hair. boy get u a brush and some scissors my god #goes against his generally put-together appearance in canon #in my heart he's a messy 13 year old with leaves in his hair and no brush to be seen in his bathroom. he doesn't own one.#he learns to be a little more Himself after s3 and he becomes a little less perfectly civil and a little more Wild #without the gang fights this time tho. character development #that's within ritsu standards ofc. he still says please and thank you and still sits w perfect posture at the dinner table #but if he comes home w mud in that stupid spiky cut uhm . let him live his life ? damn.#what was i talking about . ...oh right the tumblr post #if u ask me abt this fic i'll give u my entire collection of cool rocks. they're around here somewhere.some of them are sparkly #i like drawing takenaka i think his hair is fun #it's basically oot link hair and that's always cool #made it extra messy this time. to convey the Horrors #u have no idea the amount of restraint it took to NOT put ritsu in a hoodie here #im god's strongest soldier

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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yk, its weird being Way Too Aware & In Control of yourself bc technically i believe im having a panic attack. but somehow i am Very Unbothered by this, bc i know whats happening and its illogical. my body's having an overreaction and i couldn't be fucked to join in

#im sitting here casually looking up symptoms to make sure this is a Panic attack and not a Heart attack #got those heart palpies got that chest pain got that sense of Derealization got that shortness of breath #i even feel a lil faint! ive even got a hot flash goin on! tightness in the throat! the whole enchilada #and yet! im somehow vibing...#my body's throwing a fit smh calm down bro its not that bad...#maybe you'll calm down if i drink some water and eat some fruit <3 #shoulda known this was coming... was lying awake at 4 am with really bad palpatations s. m. h.#honestly! this is very annoying!#my vision tried to tunnel exactly Once but i fought it off. idiot meatsuit....#breathing exercises and internal mantras babeyyyyyy i got this shit on Lock #oh! and look at that! my heart is finally chilling out #still gonna eat water and drink fruit #yall should do that too. at least the water part #go drink water! go! shoo!#hydrate or diedrate! always pick hydrate!#absolutely unprompted #alright well that was fun. only lasted for about *checks nonexistent watch* over an hour #i dont think ive had one that bad before! it really tried to Get Me!#had to fight off the deep sense of dread and rising panic with a mental broom!!#finishing my rebels rewatch helped but still. damn. these demons have hands #my brain: OH WE'RE DYING WE'RE DYING ITS A HEART ATTACK WE'RE GONNA DIE AND ROT FOR DAYS BEFORE OUR BODY IS FOUND OH GOD ITS HAPPENING #hard cut to me vibing with a martini.... wii music on blast... hawaiian shirt On and Unbuttoned...#anyway. drink some water. get some fruit. Thrive!

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imherongraystairstrash · 2 years

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😭 I can't tell if he reminds me of Gideon or Sophie all I know is that an artist finally CAPTURED the essence of Thomas, like you literally look at him and say "yeah, that's Thomas, Sophie and Gideon's son, because he screams Scone-boy and Scone-girl offspring😭😭😭😭

#Thomas lightwood #Thomas lightgod is more like it #I'm satisfied going into chot with a huge crush on thomas #i always fall for the gays damn it #my bestie calls it my reverse gay-dar #ITS NOT MY FAULT ALL STRAIGHT MEN ARE TRASH #I'm just looking out for myself #I look at thomas and think: there's someone who won't break my heart #alastair carstairs #Alastair is the real one #I would say he's lucky but he deserves to have thomas I guess #thomastair #that's enough I can't keep writing about my issues with falling for gay men #I think I need to go to a therapist #it's kinda getting out of hand #that's all im gonna say

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muirneach · 6 months

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it is fascinating to me that the majority of people it seems have never considered that borders are just lines on a map? its just a piece of paper? not to have anarchic tendencies but like. it’s just words

#tried to type and retype this sentiment in prev but it kind of negates the premise of the post (which i agree with)#because like. yeah borders are just lines #but like re prev jannik IS italian since thats what he identifies with #even though people call him german/austrian because of his background #which is weird to say right? its weird. like idk man he plays for team italy sooo #so i didnt want to be like well borders are fake. true but not the point #and now unrelated to prev post but back to the topic of borders #they do fascinate me. guy who’s obsessed with colonial history #something i think about a lot is like. ppl r always talking about how tiny european countries are etc #and its like yeah. due to the diversity of ethnic groups in the continent (yeah yeah multiple cultures in a country too)#and then comparing that to north america like if we considered indigenous bands and nations in the same way its the same thing #but no one ever talks about it. like damn theres a great diversity of people groups worldwide and only europe gets to carve out areas #<- although like again. not that im pro ethnicstate or pro border but like theres a reason why europe is small and other countries arent #idk. i heart political science and history and anthropology and culture god bless

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designernishiki · 1 year

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it really means the world to me that little 12 year old daigo mentions that kiryu used to hang out with him a lot, meaning a teenage kiryu (and likely a teenage nishiki as well) basically babysat an even younger daigo on the reg for some amount of time. i wonder what shenanigans they got up to

#if im remembering correctly i think they said something about going to the arcade but yeah other than that #they’re so… different. I feel like kiryu would try to teach him a sport and daigo would fucking hate it #unless he could manage to change the rules around so that he can hit nishiki with the ball a bunch of times #and I mean it’s not like kiryu would be helping him with schoolwork #like let’s be real here #all jokes aside I imagine it really meant a lot to daigo to have someone treat him like a normal kid and encourage doing #stupid normal kid things instead of whatever his other caretakers had him doing #kiryu (especially at that point) is just a big child at heart in his own way- probably more than daigo was ever really allowed to be-#so it’d be a nice oasis from the cold strict monotony of daigo’s typical life.#that and kiryu (and probably even more so nishiki) is actually somewhat physically affectionate unlike probably anyone else in daigo’s life #and isn’t afraid to like. ruffle his hair or pat him a little too hard on the back or what have you #man those two have known each other basically their entire lives huh???#like damn it’s just now really hitting me that they’ve known each other like. at least 35-40 years?#could be longer depending on if kazama introduced them prior to kiryu becoming a yakuza and all that #kiryu’s just sort of been. always there in daigo’s life. that’s sorta wild #anyway time for me to stop talking #rambling #daigo #kiryu

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radgeorgie · 1 month

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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao #like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo #and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw #i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with #and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule #and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean #like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week #like #i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve #but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much #and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week #i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do #but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt #but im still IN the job hi t #*hunt #AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed #like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious #and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves #let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE #anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes #WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me #like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails

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mercurymacaroons · 2 months

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woagh 2 posts in one day

#sketch #listen your honor i love him #im unsure if i wanna tag yosuke in this bc theyre like 15 min sketches so i think imma leave it like this and let the lord decide #i know hes not a like the fan fave in persona but somehow the trash boy has grown on me and is now like top 4 for the whole damn franchise #like mold or smth #you just gotta like reimagine him as a very tired repressed bi 16 yr old in a closet made of glass and he immediately becomes more likeable #like bro he works retail and is 16 thats why hes like that #also like the scene from the group date in pq where he goes “all right now we can be partners for all eternity!!!!”#that lives in my head rent free #listen he lives with teddie and works retail #as someone who also worked retail i promise you most of his not kanji related outbursts are justified #the kanji stuff is bad fr fr but like hes also 16 in 2011 #let the 1st 16yr old who was not an asshole and uninformed cast the first stone #sorry i have a lot of feelings for 1 yosuke hanamura and i needed to tell all of you in this my diary #which reminds me #most of yall came from me posting about dr which ndrv3 has a very special place in my heart and on my walls #but alas p4 kicked saihara to the curb so idk if ill be making anymore??????? maybe i might in the future but idk im old and tired #and dr is and always will be full of 13 yr olds which is fine but i dont wanna interact with them bc im old #and tired of the same discourse every 6 months #maybe when the not actually but totally is dr4 that kodaka is cooking up drops ill make dr art again but unlikely for rn #once i figure out how p4 protag chan's bowl cut works ill draw boys kissing #i do need to figure out how to draw boys kissing #since it will also lead to figuring out how to draw girls kissing which is almost dare i say more important #anywho thank you for coming to my newest diary entry #i will never stop yapping in the tags #this is a promise #yall gotta know all my thoughts in as many characters and tags tumblr will let me have

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dirt-str1der · 2 years

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I literally had a dream about reading the worst fan fiction like fucking ever kiryu was just randomly a yandere and nishiki was trying his best to survive also kiryu turned into a dragon (deez nuts) halfway and let nishiki kill him for being a bad boy but he was so upset about having to kill his bro that he just lay in the corpse for a bit and thats when i decided to stop reading and i literally opened tumblr in my dream to complain about how bad it was like the writing went back and forth from being terrible to incredible and i found myself enjoying some parts and despising others. I skipped the first few chapters so i had to tab back out and read the summary like why are they in a beach resort and the summary didnt just tell me nothing but it was also double spaced between each line and very fucking irritating and while reading it i kept thinking this is extremely ooc and boring like they would not fucking say that

#Listen to my problems #i cant stress enough that i dont even ship them why did i read a sex fic about kiryu and nishikiyamer #like i believe they are the bestest of friends forever and ever and like as hotblooded young men growing up together they must have tried a #few sex moves on each other at least once but i dont think they see each other as romantic prospects. like unlike majima and saejima #(seajima) who are literally together all the time and will never travel anywhere without the other unless its to prison. kiryu and nishiki #have this understanding that eventually theyll have to part ways and find their own path. while they would always remain in each others #hearts and thoughts they knew that they couldnt be holding hands forever and besides they have to focus on getting kazama to the top not #each other !! so nishiki was very happy that kiryu was getting his own family soon even if it meant that kiryu was getting ‘ahead’ of him #and kiryu who can accept consequences for himself but no one else was just like um ... well nishiki please give me the gun and take yumi #your sister needs you or whatever <3 i am definitely expendble and prison life is for me yayy yayyyy i love going to jail so nobody can talk #to me ever again. i keep asking myself how difficult it would have been for kiryu to just pop in by the hospital every now and then to check #in on nishikis sister. its not like he cant take care of her. its not like he doesnt know how to earn money. he just straight up thinks that #nishiki is better than him so he should be the one to get locked up ... because nishiki can take care of yumi and i straigh up forgot his si #sisters name and reina and kazama without him. and nishikis like damn i wish kiryu was here so bad (looks at his wwkd bracelet) hm think ill #go insane. i literally forgot what my original point was but that fic was so bad guys im so glad it doesnt exist #in it kiryu was trying his best to keep nishiki in one place and he kept being very. well kiryu was just kiryu but he kept apologising #saying things like you cant leave yet ... and looking at him with his big sad eyes and nishiki would always be like f-fine ... (he doesnt #like it here) also nishiki was one hell of a princess type and had a nurse costume on at some point which means the yakuza server nishiki #propoganda is working on me. very weird. love the part when kiryu was randomly a big dragon because he utterly filled the hallways of their #little beach shack and his scales were nice and soft and he was lovely. little guy

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orcelito · 2 years

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I'm almost 60 hours into tales of arise and I'm realizing that endgame is. Not that far away, honestly

How am I supposed to go through with this 😭😭😭😭😭 I don't want it to end

#speculation nation #i use fandom to cope with my fav things being over #but i cant do that if there's barely any fandom 😭😭😭😭#& yea i can always make things myself #and believe me im fuckin thinking about it #it's just like. i met Dohalim a *week* ago and it's been a blissful week #but it has to end at some point. and Soon if i keep up the pace ive had #60 hours in a week and a half god Damn #my brain chemistry has been permanently changed by this game and more specifically this character #i wanna explore many more maps of wildlands and jump off waterfalls to make my friends scream #genuinely. i might end up just doing a NG+ or smth bc there is still so much more i want to do #im level 44 now. those temple things are level 60 ish. past that... idk.#i wish there was more story through all the different areas. so i wouldnt just go through a place then be done with it.#i know it's a story of liberation. we're on a war path & we're taking it right to the heart.#but. but i want to see more of them all 😭 i miss them already and im not even done with them.#i need to not drop the game completely (as ive done b4 when not wanting a game to end...) but hfkshfjd #i still have a lot left to do for the training grounds too..... hfbjdhdkdbfkd #i want them to plop another 15 giant enemies down in front of me. PLEASE #ive already killed like 15 lol and i love how much stronger it makes me.#i looooooove big enemy hunting for Real #from what i know there are only 4 ish left. just bc they were too strong for me at the time.#& yea i was contemplating continuing my replay of xillia and xillia 2 but FUCK the environment of arise is just so so good #it's so BEAUTIFUL like everywhere you go. none of the other tales games compare tbh #and of course. dohalim. none of the other games have dohalim in them.#oh the grief of blazing through something way too fast 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i shouldve stopped to smell the roses...#i think im going to do that with my next game tho. which yea im like very much gonna play another game i think.#i cant just leave it at this. no way. not after only a WEEK #tho i'll chill it some on my replay lol. no need to blaze thru it the 2nd time. which hopefully will free my brain for other things #namely. writing lol. we'll see...

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andragoras-in-vanity · 3 days

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god i love james wans movies, theyre so bad but so good

#like some of them are bad at being horror but good at being drama and im here for it #i have mixed feelings about the warrens irl but them in the movies 😭😭 i need a husband like that #i hate them they made me attracted to patrick wilson and thats not okay #but fuck by the third movie lorraine knowing him so well she keeps his heart medication in her locket😭😭😭#because he goes running without thought to save her even when she doesnt need saving #even when she CAN handle it herslef she never needs to push through the worry or fear #because he just always instantly there #but as for the annabelle movies i still think the real doll is creepier than the dead silence leftover prop BUT he or someone on his team #knows not only horror but ghosts #and its impressive to me all the things they split between annabelle and the nun/valak that are legitimate haunting experiences #its the room turning darker the longer you look into it amd the horned things smile #and the yellow eyes that they onlt gave to the nun #because i honestly believe that showing it in its true form with all of these traits would give it power #and like...release it #anyway the two movies i wanted to watch arent up for streaming ans im too lazy to get my laptop out for it #cause im actually maybe gonna play a game on it duh #but fuck i do think james wan doesnt pull punches with jumpscares while also creating compelling characters #especially if those characters are fully damned from the beginning #idk maybe i feel this way because of my paranormal experiences but i genuinely do like jumpscare horror when its done well #becayse his is #and also he know how just Bad malignant was and he did it anyway😭#annabell creation was the best by far tho horrorwise #plotwise i do love the conjuring 2 even though they werent involved with the enfield haunting #after their initial interview they werw told to fuck off by the family ans morris rosse was the main investigator #but valak was sexy and it was such a lovely portrayal of their relationship #tbh annabelle is good but it just makes me a little sad because she nearly loses her baby #that stuff kinda gets to me not as horror but as like a personal thing #ill still watch it tho im not a baby i can deal with that shit but just i know i probably cant have kids and wouldnt survive if i tried so #anyway james wan haters get fucked his movies are good when hes the one directing them

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silverselfshippingchaos · 1 month

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it's a little past 1am, about an hour since the new f.eh update dropped.. my f.elix is already level 40 and I've gotten a good chunk of his forging bonds stuff!

f.elix, as always, is f.elix LMAAOO

#ash rambles 💚#i love him so much even after all these years #though i admit that sometimes i get a little insecure #he's always so.. intense. i love that about him it's what drew me to him. he wants to be the best and he's a damn good swordsman #sometimes i just wonder if he'd think I'm too soft and emotional. i also dont really have any big goals like he does #I'm like. the exact opposite of the kind of girl i think he'd want to be with..#ajdkahdjs sorry guys LMAO it's late #we've been together for like. 3+ years im pretty damn sure he doesnt hate me BAHAHAHAHA #but ahem. I'm so happy to see him again. he's so amazing and so handsome #many kisses for my f.elix!#heart-to-heart combat ⚔️

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our-inspire-verse · 2 months

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Me when it's time to just hang on and keep level and keep tryin

#i guesss #im always trying.i prommy #im just tired and traumatized and not well worded #all i wanna do is understand things so im quiet a lot then i start jabber jibbering the best i can with the information i take in #then my brain does like a damn whatsit called and shakes and erases the whole thing to start over #goldfish brain but heart of someone who cares more about more things than i should and doesn't ever know how to execute that care #and then it comes out as grief bc im always expressing it but it still ends up excessive and trapped and hurty. and i STILL get misunderstoo #d.#anyway.i say what i believe and never minimalize myself and never act in an unloving way if avoidable or unless deserved like #if its read as unloving come to me and I'll do my best to improve but like. i am always care more than i think people percieve me to #system babbles #vent #trying to be positive and shaking trembling nauceasu

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fardf150 · 3 months

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fuck

#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all #bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever #but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then #but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou #s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck #i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked #i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself #fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her #and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it #but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all #im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet #I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands #'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring #you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act #like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even #fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me #i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned

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hecksupremechips · 3 months

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Never not thinking about the way ashton confesses his love to isabella like first off theyre at the bar it’s revealed isabella plans to try and go back to the mansion on her own to find a way to end the curse and ashton holds her hand and pleads for her not to do that because it’s highly dangerous and they all need to stick together. But then he sneaks off to break into the mansion on his own, literally right after telling isabella not to do that, but he thinks it’s okay if it’s him because he feels responsible for everything and that he has to always put on a brave face and carry his friends’ burdens and destroy himself to keep them safe and that his life isn’t as important so it’s not like it’ll matter if he ends up dying. And then he does almost die, is literally being strangled to death in the creepy attic and would be dead until isabella comes to save him. And shes pissed off. She absolutely fucks up johannes with a taser and a fucking rolling pin because no one hurts her friends and gets away with it. And then she slaps ashton right across his face and yells at him for being reckless and thinking he can just put himself in danger without telling anyone and for being a hypocrite and she makes it clear "you count too, you know. When I said I didn’t want to lose anyone else, that included you."

And that’s when it clicks. Ashton notes how unconditionally and wholeheartedly isabella loves, and it finally kicks in that oh. She loves him. She’s always loved him. And maybe he’s worth loving. He’s then literally so fucking giddy about his discovery that he’s got a big fat grin despite the fact he just nearly died, got slapped, AND got scolded pretty hard. And he takes isabella’s hand again and does what he’s always afraid to do: he apologizes. He’s sorry for always teasing her, and for being reckless, and he’s sorry for taking so long to apologize. "But for all those callous words, there’s nothing I don’t love about you. Those things...I love them. And everything. Everything that’s you."

It’s quiet, then isabella just fucking starts sobbing hysterically. And then ashton is like SHIT SHIT FUCK OH GOD IM SORRY DID I FUCK UP and she asks him why. Why the hell would he say something like that to her? She lists all these reasons, she doesn’t have anything at all she’s never had money and she only eats cheap instant noodles, she can’t do anything with someone helping her, and she was never able to become an artist even though she was so close. She genuinely doesn’t understand how someone like her could ever be seen as anything special, she’s been conditioned into believing that shit like that is for other people but it’ll never happen to her so she doesn’t even allow herself to consider it a possibility. And yet, AND YET

And ashton doesn’t hesitate one second, he looks right at her and says that all those things are still her and he loves everything about her. AND THEN THEY KISS AND HOLD EACH OTHER JUST FOR A MOMENT JUST LETTING THEMSELVES FORGET THE HORRORS BECAUSE THEY HAVE EACH OTHER AND THEY WALK OUT HOLDING HANDS

#the klock keeps ticking #the letter #yeah im having normal feelings about this like i always am #ive watched this scene soooo many fucking times and literally lose my shit tremendously every time #like damn for someone who cant use words for shit ashton sure can be dreamy when he wants to be #its just about the way they both love each other so much and would do anything for each other no matter what #and like when they say these things to each other you KNOW they mean it and thats what really gets me #like they will make sure the other knows how amazing they are and how loved they are #also i think its really funny how rebecca says that if ashton ever makes isabella cry she’ll beat him with a dictionary #and literally the first thing that happens after he confesses is isabella just starts sobbing #also no i cannot talk about the coma confession or the ashton breakdown scene or the shot through the heart scene #i will start sobbing so hard i get sick i am not kidding 😭#everything is literally happy forever i dont CARE if the curse never ends you simply cannot take this away from me

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bunnis-monsters · 2 months

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NSFW

Spoiled house husband cat!hybrid that spends all day napping, curled up by a window so he can feel the warm sun.

When you get home, the house is always clean and dinner is ready, and your husband is ready to be praised and pampered for working so hard…

In reality he sleeps so much that the house stays clean besides needing to be swept and dusted occasionally, and he’s good at cooking quick and delicious meals. But… even then, there’s a good chunk of the day that you aren’t aware of his whereabouts…

So you pamper his cute self, buying him good food, cuddling him as much as he wants, and of course letting him breed you to his hearts content.

He’ll spend hours lazily rutting into your pussy while he kneads your belly, his face buried in your neck so he can inhale your scent. It’s just too much, thinking of how round and heavy you’ll be with his kittens, he end up cumming so much…

It’s not like he doesn’t have money, he pays half the bills… you’re just not sure where her gets it from.

So when you get pregnant, it’s his turn to become a doting husband, cooing over your pregnant belly and butting his head against it affectionately. You can’t push him away.

You know how cats get all stiff when you try to make them do something you don’t want them to? Yeah, he does that when you push him to make him stop licking and nuzzling your belly. It tickles, damn it!

It’s a little too late to think of what to do when you realize he’s been out your house husband is actually a trained assassin that takes on jobs to help pay the bills and make sure his beloved mate is never in need of anything.

That’s why he’s so lazy when you get home, he’s just so sleepy and wants to curl up with his mate after a long day!

You can’t even think about what to do, you’re too busy being fucked silly by your husband. He can’t keep his hands off of you while you’re heavy and swollen with his kittens, only stopping once you’re too pregnant for safe sex.

For now, you’ve become the housewife while you’re pregnant… and your husband will always take care of you~

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