#figuratively and literally though i will not use that to excuse my past actions haha

[6mayhem]

but i would give anything for just one day spent in the life i had when i was 15. it may not have been perfect but i felt like i belonged somewhere. and i didn't worry so goddamn much about the big picture

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Nine. Minecraft Dating 101

warnings: swearing, mostly super freaking fluffy but some oopsies at the end (which is the barely-there angst that i mentioned before!!), pet names?? if that bothers you??? (like...... one or both of them might use baby.........) word count: 5.3k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: HEHEH SORRY ITS SO LONG SORRY hope you guys like it!!!! hope it lives up to your standards of minecraft dates lol also thank you guys all for all your suggestions!!! i loved all of them so much!!!! i would have added every idea except this was already 5k words so its much less “flirting” and more so “oh gosh im so nervous what am i supposed to do” from both of them so hehe i think thats more endearing anyway

**********

The familiar sound of a FaceTime call connecting rang in Y/n's ears and she held her phone up to her face. "Hi, Karl," she sighed.

"Y/N!!" he said with a cackle. "ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DATE?!"

"Shut up, I'm doing this for you."

"I already gave you the tour though so really you could back out. You're choosing to stay." His voice was teasing and giddy. "Why's that, hmm?"

Heat rose instantly to Y/n's face. "Because I'm a woman of my word?"

"OkaAaAyy," he sang. "Or because you liiiiikeee himmm."

"Shhhut up, Karl. No, I don't."

"Suuuure."

"Is this why you called me?"

He giggled. "Yeah, but—"

Y/n disconnected the call and set her phone down with a small laugh and a shake of her head.

With her stream started and her chat greeted, the donation limit raised to $100 (both because she didn't want to be flooded with questions on the date and because she didn't want people to donate their hard-earned money), Y/n logged onto Dream's SMP and found the voice call Dream was in, George's name right under his.

After she clicked it to join, a small gasp emitted from her headphones before she heard Dream mutter something. "Get out, get out, leave."

George's voice was normal. "But I wanna—"

"GEORGE!" Dream yelled, making Y/n giggle.

"Fine!" George yelled back. "Have fun you two," he sang like Karl did before a sound from Discord told them that he left.

It was silent for a second before, "Hi."

"Hi." She giggled. "What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just some last minute, uh, setting up."

She hummed, amused at the sound of his frantic voice.

"So, um... are you ready for our date?"

"I don't even know where you are. I'm still in my house."

"Knock, knock," he said with a laugh. Y/n turned to see green peeking through the cutouts on her oak door and she laughed.

She ran to the door and opened it for him, revealing Dream in a slightly altered version of his Minecraft skin. He looked the same, except the white blob appeared to be wearing a necktie of some sort. "You look ridiculous," she admitted with a smile. "Wait, is this a fancy date? Should I change my skin?"

"It's not fancy, I just wanted to look my best for the prettiest girl in the world."

"Ohmygosh," she muttered to herself, hoping that writing off his charming words and actions as annoying would make her face not heat up as much. So far, it hadn't worked. Two minutes in and she was already blushing like a schoolgirl whose crush asked her to play tag at recess. "So, I'm not underdressed?"

"No, you're always perfect."

She didn't comment, opting for an eye-roll instead. Truthfully, she wanted to flirt back with him, try to make his heart beat fast like hers already was, but she was worried her words wouldn't come off joking and that the true intention would be obvious, that he'd be able to breeze right past the jovial tone and hear the sincerity in her words. Wait, true intention? What was her true intention? Her true intention should obviously be to just joke around and have some fun, but deep down she knew the motivation for teasing him came from somewhere different, somewhere more meaningful.

She wanted to tease him because she wanted to be the one to make him blush, to make him trip over his words and not know what to do with his hands.

Why? Well, she was still figuring that out.

"If you're ready, follow me, ma'am."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked as she followed his character down prime path.

"Hmmm..." he mused. "A secret, obviously."

"Obviously," she scoffed. She noticed that he was several blocks ahead of her and she smiled to herself. "Hey, Dream?"

"Hm?" he asked, spinning to face her as he ran backward.

"I don't know how many dates you've been on, but usually people walk together. You know, gives them an excuse to maybe hold hands or at least enjoy each other's company?" She made sure her voice had just the right balance of teasing and seriousness, curious as to how he would respond.

"I, uh... oh."

"Unless you want me to just meet you there. I mean, you're practically running away from me."

"I'm just excited!" he excused, stopping briefly so she could catch up with him.

"But look at how many beautiful things there around us to look at while we get to where we're going!" she told him. "Well, maybe not that," she said with a laugh as she punched her fist towards Tommy's dirt house. "But other things."

Dream laughed and continued to walk next to her like she requested, pausing if he ever got too far ahead. "How can I look at all those when the most beautiful thing is walking right next to me?"

She's never rolled her eyes so hard in her life. "Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him.

"OW! BUG!"

"That was supposed to be a pat on the arm but Minecraft only has one level of hitting and it's a punch. Sorry."

Dream wheezed briefly before containing his laughter. "This way," he instructed, getting off the path and starting into the woods.

"Oh, really you're trying to kill me. That's why you didn't want me to wear anything nice. Didn't want me to ruin any of my fancy stuff."

"Foiled my plans," he joked lightly. "Okay but really, um, I was thinking—well, so you already have a house but I was thinking we could build one together. Or build something, I don't know. But you're really good at building and I know you really enjoy it so I thought maybe you could show—like, teach me and then later I'll teach you something and then we can have a little picnic dinner."

Y/n smiled at her nervousness. "Hey, that actually sounds really fun!"

"What? What do you mean actually?" He laughed. "What, did you expect me to plan something boring?"

She laughed over his dramatic pouting. "No, but I mean, I didn't know what to expect," she said shyly. "I do have to say, though, I'm not sure what you plan on teaching me. I'm pretty much a master at all possible Minecraft skills, so..."

"Oh, really?" he taunted. "Everything?"

"Mhm," she hummed, her confidence wavering at his smooth voice.

"We'll see about that..."

"Unless you mean you're gonna teach me how to code Minecraft. That's a Minecraft skill I will admit I know nothing about."

"No, no, nothing like that," he said with a laugh.

"Good, save the programming talk for later."

"For laaater, hmmm?" he sang flirtatiously.

"Oh my gosh," she said through a laugh. "You would think that's what I meant."

"Hey, you're the one that said you think it's cute when I talk about coding. Maybe you're into that."

"I was saying it's sweet hearing you talk about stuff you like, you nerd. Why did you immediately think���what, is your idea of dirty talk talking about... like... computer viruses?"

"WhAT?"

"Hey girl, lemme clean out your motherboard," she mocked in a deep voice. "You overclock my processor. Lemme program your, uh—uh...hAHA, nevermind, ew, no."

"BUG?! WHAAAT? What is wrong with you?" His gasps for breath between wheezes made her laugh with him. "Don't ever talk like that again, pleASE."

"I won't, I won't, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh."

"Is that your idea of flirting? You are bad!"

"No, no, no!" She laughed. "I was making fun of you. No, I'm actually really good."

She couldn't stop giggling to herself for a few minutes, embarrassed but also proud of the reaction she got from Dream. She loved hearing him laugh as if he would never stop, it made her heart so happy to hear, especially when she was the one who caused it.

Though she feared her horrible pickup lines, if you could even call them that, were already clipped, ready to be used against her for the rest of her life. Worth it. Probably.

They approached a cleared-out area in the woods and Dream stopped and turned to Y/n. "So, we're here. What should we build?"

"Oh, so now I have to plan? Wow, you are so underprepared," she joked.

"What, no! I originally... I wanted to build a, like, a house together because I didn't— I forgot you made your—your house already and—but since you already have one—"

"We can still build a house," she interrupted with a soft voice. Him fumbling over his words was very endearing but also very confusing. How serious was he taking this bit? Or was he... actually nervous? She was actually nervous but she had reasons to be: a huge live audience to entertain and not ignore, and the weird staticky, itchy feeling in her tummy every time Dream spoke to her. Both valid reasons to be nervous. What was his excuse?

"Really? You wanna build a home together?"

Heat rose to her cheeks at his wording and she hummed. "Mhm. You can be my secret lover I hide in my vacation home. Like a second life kinda deal."

He scoffed. "Oh, now I'm just your side piece, Bug?"

"Nah, you're my main bitch, baby. I just wanna hide you away to keep you for myself because I'm selfish."

There was silence on his end for a few moments, making Y/n's face practically catch fire as she thought about her words. Why did she say that?? How can he flirt all the time but as soon as she says something: dead silence.

"Well.... shhhhhit," he finally mumbled definitively.

"You wanted me to flirt with you, Dream. You literally asked me too!" She laughed, trying to cover up her embarrassment. It had been less than 20 minutes and she already made a fool of herself.

"I did, I did, I just—wow. Come on, that was... I didn't expect you to go from never flirting to calling me baby!"

"Too much?" she bit her lip as she waited for him to explain if it was a good or bad thing.

He paused again. "....no."

She laughed loudly, pulling her hoodie collar up to her face in an attempt to rid herself of the giddiness and heat on her face. Like anyone could see anyway.

"So, a house?"

"A house."

"What kind of house do you think we should build together, Dream?"

"Maybe...." he thought as he ran around the area. "Maybe, like, a log cabin? Since we're in a forest. It's fitting..."

"Very true, very true..." she thought. "I was thinking a castle was more suited for you, king, but a cabin works too."

"Bug!" he yelled, laughter bubbling up in his voice. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?" she said defensively, giggling.

"You're a handful today," he groaned under his breath and she smiled. Though his words said one thing, Y/n could tell he was enjoying her energy.

"So, a dinky, old cabin, or what?"

"Whatever you want to build," he sighed.

"You always this agreeable?"

"Only to you."

"Well, I honestly don't have much practice with building cabins and since I want to show off my skills, I mean, that's the whole point of this, right? For me to impress you with my skills?"

Dream laughed so she continued.

"I think we should build a treehouse."

"A treehouse?"

"Mhm. What do you think? I make a pretty bomb treehouse."

"That sounds awesome!" he agreed. "Oh, and it could go from, like, one tree to another and, like, connect with a bridge! Like, the living room on one and the bedroom on another."

"Yeah, exactly! Okay, it's settled."

"What do we need? What do you want me to do?"

"I'm thinking.... we use cobblestone?"

Dead silent. Literally no noise until a few moments later, ".......Bug. This might be a deal-breaker."

"I'm joooking! You think I'd build something out of cobblestone? Who am I, Tommy? No, what's your favorite wood?"

"Dark oak."

"GOOD. Me too. So.... we need dark oak. Or, wait! Okay, hear me out."

"I'm hearing..." Dream prompted as he pressed A and D on his keyboard back and forth, earning a giggle from Y/n. He character was bouncing left and right is excitement.

"Dark oak planks..." she started.

"Mhm."

"Stone bricks..."

"Go on."

"And green wool for accents."

"Well, now you're just pandering."

"No!" she laughed. "Not, like, lime wool. Green wool. It's close to you but not as... obnoxiously blinding."

"I trust your vision. I'll go get materials."

"Perfect, you're the best, Dweam."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled before laughing. "You pick out a tree you think would be best for the main part."

40 minutes later, they were nowhere near being done. Y/n had shown him how to make a good house layout after he placed the floor in the shape of a square. She had yelled at him for it first, of course. They also had the frame of the walls and one bridge but nothing on the other side of said bridge. Not wanting the stream to last six hours since this was only the first part of the date, Y/n made a suggestion.

"What if...."

"What if what?" Dream asked, pausing to look at her character, who had stopped fixing his mistakes. "Did I mess something up?"

"No, I was just thinking. What if we make this the whole house and do a little garden on the other side of the bridge? Or like a little cute thing."

"A little cute thing?" Dream laughed.

"You know, like a thing," she said, knowing she hadn't clarified anything. "I forgot this is only date one, you can't read my mind yet."

"Oh, so there are gonna be future dates? I thought this was just to pay off your debt?"

She paused, playing with her hoodie strings between her left hand. "Well, I guess we'll see."

Dream laughed. "So, what little cute thing did you want to make?"

"We could put a bench facing the sunset and have some potted flowers and hang lanterns and stuff."

"Oh, like a romantic spot?"

"I guess if you wanna think of it like that."

"Sounds cute," he said. "So, we have to change the layout in here then?"

"Nah, I mean, we can just not add a kitchen, we obviously don't need one anyway."

"True. Then all we need is to put our bed down, right?"

"Beds," Y/n corrected.

"Well, when they're together it looks like one big bed."

"Who said we're putting out beds together?"

"Buuuuggg..." he whined. "Come on... lemme put my bed next to yours."

She giggled again. What was with all the giggling, sheesh. "No. There's plenty of space, put it somewhere else." She placed her white bed down in the corner and went across the bridge to bring her idea to life, or, to Minecraft.

It only took about ten minutes and she finished when Dream spoke again. "I think I'm done."

"I am too! Let's take one final look around." She went back inside and immediately noticed his bed right next to hers. She stared at his character and he laughed.

"Whaaat?" he asked shyly and she just sighed, letting it happen. They took a look around and agreed that it was basically the best treehouse in the entire universe, both in Minecraft and real life.

"Bug, you're so good at building," Dream complimented as he ran around the house. "What's your favorite part?"

"Ummm...." She looked around before deciding on the bridge. "I like how you made the bridge. And I like the little touches you added to it. It's nice."

"Thanks! I think the 'little cute thing' you did is the best part."

"Shut up, I can't stand you," she scoffed. "But thanks."

"Hey, Bug?" Dream asked, leading her back into the house. He faced the two beds placed together and she prepared herself for the worst joke of all time. "Is this where all the programming talk happens?"

"I knew it! I knew you were gonna say that! Shut up!" She punched Dream as he laughed loudly and she couldn't stop smiling. "You're such a nerd. You're so annoying."

"OH! I have an idea, wait here."

***

It had been a solid eight and a half minutes of Y/n waiting for Dream and he showed no signs of returning. He was silent too, so she resorted to saying random things to get him to crack.

"When will my husband return from war?" she joked, her voice laced with sadness and longing.

There was a small suppressed laugh from his mic, but still no words.

"Sometimes I think I can still hear him laughing at me."

He must have gotten reeeaaalll close to his mic, because his next words, the first ones he had spoken in almost ten minutes, were whispered but she felt like he was in her ear. "I'll be home soon, baby."

Once again, she was so glad her chat couldn't see her because she literally shivered and her face was so warm she felt like she was glowing.

For the first time all stream, her eyes betrayed her and she looked at her chat as she pulled her hoodie collar up to her face.

user18: BUGSY BEIN REEEAL QUIET

user4: i think i just passed out

user11: wHAT ON EARTH DREAM ADKXKH

user7: BUGSY ON GOD BE REAL WITH US WTF IS GOING ON RN

user2: hey bestie i cant do this rn

user9: they can't talk to each other like that and say they're just friends pleASE

Also for the first time all stream, someone dared to donate at her limit (which, again, was ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS).

karakatara donated $100 I had to donate bc I just HAD to tell you how cute you and dream are! honestly my favorite couple ever and I was just wondering how long you've been dating??? love you and your videos!!!!!

It was $100. She had to answer it. Meaning, she had to use words after Dream said that like that and she wasn't sure that was physically possible right now.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Dream taunted.

"Wha—what, are you—you stream watching, you weirdo?" she forced out. "Why?"

"I wanted to read your chat, they're really funny."

"I haven't been reading it."

"What, why? They've been so funny this whole time."

"I've been too scared to."

"Too scared? Of what?"

Of the jokes that she wanted to be real? Of seeing something so cute only to break her heart when she remembers it's all a joke? Of seeing someone hate her for being so close to Dream? Many things.

"Of seeing something... that boosts your ego."

"What? Oh, come on. Hey, answer the dono. Someone gave you their hard earned money for that."

"Yeah, wait, chat, I had the limit that high so you DON'T donate! Why on earth would you—"

"You're avoiding the question."

"We aren't actually dating! Not actually a couple!" she said with a laugh, though something in her heart was very much against laughing at that fact. "Obviously not."

"Well, it's only the first date, so, we'll see I guess, but..."

"I cannot stand you. Thank you so much for the dono, though, Karakatara. You're insane for... yeah. Thank you so much." She turned her attention back to Dream. "Actually though are you ever coming back?"

"Yeah, what, I'm almost there. I see the you staring out the window. ."

When he got inside, he dropped a blue cornflower for Y/n and stepped back. "Okay, now, give that to me."

She followed, not understanding. "For you, Dream." She dropped the flower.

"Aw, Bug! That's so kind! Aw! Thank you! Here's a flower for you, too!" He dropped her a red poppy and then put two item frames on the wall above their beds. He put the blue cornflower above his bed and she followed by putting the red one above hers. "Now that's my favorite part of the house."

"You didn't want to use the real ones? What, did you lose my flower or something?"

"Hell no!" he defended loudly. "No, I just don't want someone to steal that one. It's in my enderchest for safe-keeping."

He said it so casually like it was no big deal, but her heart soared. She too had his flower in her enderchest.

"This," she said dramatically with a sigh, "is now a treehome."

***

"I already told you I'm the best PVP player out there."

"Bug, honey, I've seen you play Bedwars. You're trash."

"Hey!" Hehe, honey. Shut up brain.

"But that's okay! I'm here to teach you."

Y/n's character stood across a makeshift battlefield from Dream's, an axe in hand and armor that was definitely donated by DreamXD on her body. "This is kinda sexist of you. Assuming I know how to name a cute house but not fight."

"Oh no, that's not—crap. Bug, I'm only basing this off of your streams, which I watch all the time—"

Once again, he said something so casual and yet it still made her heart skip three beats and once again, she grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled it up to hide her face. This thing had to be stretched by now from how often it was yanked on in this stream alone.

"—and don't get me wrong, you're great! But you're also good at a lot of stuff and—"

"Dream!" she giggled out. "I'm teasing. I admit you're much better than me."

"I wouldn't say much better but... it's the only thing I could possibly teach you anything about because you're just so good at Minecraft." His tone was sarcastic at this point but she knew he was meaning what he said.

"Whatever. Come on, Dream, show me how it's done."

He actually had a lot of very useful tips that Y/n otherwise would have never thought about. I guess when you tryhard Minecraft, she thought, you learn a thing or two about pvp. It was a complete joke, but she still kept it to herself.

"I could basically beat anyone now," she said confidently.

"Yeah, basically. Except maybe Technoblade."

"Nah, even him."

"Let's see how good you really are. To the death."

"What?" She laughed. "You're gonna try to kill me on our date?"

"Yeah, scared?" Seconds later, a creeper exploded near Dream and he screeched, jumping back. Y/n lost it. She laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.

"Dr-Dream!" She laughed. "What the hell was that?"

"It scared me!" he argued. "Here, I'll protect you," he offered, running past her and killing a skeleton that was shooting towards her.

"I don't need protecting, especially from you! Besides, if you're trying to kill me, you'd let the mobs get me."

"No," he decided. "No one's allowed to kill my Bug."

She was literally going to explode. "Wh—"

"Only I get to."

"Dream!" she scoffed, running to kill the skeleton first. She succeeded and he pouted.

"Hey—I did more damage than you, you just had the final hit."

"Really? Cause to me it looks like I'm your knight in shining armor."

"Nuh-uh," he spat.

"Dream. F5 right now, you're covered in arrows."

There was a pause. "Oh whatever." He hit her once and that's all it took for them to start fighting, throwing jokes and taunts at each other the whole time, eventually resulting in a satisfying win for her.

Dream was slain by Bugsy

"WHAT?! HOW?"

<Tubbo> i thogt you were on a date <Ranboo> well definitley not anymore <Ranboo> is that canon <JackManifoldTV> WOMEN

"What was that about you being better than me?" Y/n teased.

"Oh, come ON! I still had damage from the skeleton, and besides, I taught you everything you know!"

"That just makes you a very good teacher, Dream," she said sincerely and he paused, probably expecting her to insult him instead of compliment him.

"Yeah, suck up now that you've murdered me."

***

They were finally at their final stop, three hours into the stream. Not too bad on time, though this was probably the longest Minecraft date in the history of Minecraft dates. Also the best, but maybe Y/n was biased.

There was a huge tree, obviously built instead of naturally generated, with lanterns hanging down and lighting areas of the dark world around them. Under that was a checkered pattern of carpet, a single chest in the center with a potted plant sitting next to it.

"The carpet is supposed to look like a, uh, what's it called... picnic blanket?" Dream explained as they approached the scene, clearly not happy with how it turned out. "It looks weird. Nothing compared to the treehouse you built."

"We built," she corrected. "And this looks awesome, Dream," Y/n complimented. "It's is also my favorite colors."

"Yeah, I had some help from Karl on that one."

She leaned back in her chair in real life and pressed her hands to her face. Oh, it was so unfair how cute he was when he was shy like this. She glanced at chat, which only made her face go from the temperature of molten lava to basically the sun. She was going to explode.

She hummed, a little giggle coming out as well. "That's cute."

She sat (crouched) on the picnic blanket (piece of carpet) while Dream put a disc in the jukebox off to the side.

"Is that a Tommy disc?" she giggled and Dream laughed.

"No, no, no, don't worry. There shouldn't be any continuations of wars interrupting our date."

"Shouldn't be," she emphasized, noticing someone approaching them from the distance.

Dream was about to speak when Quackity reached them and quickly joined the voice channel.

"Oh no," Dream sighed. "We've come so far."

"AYYEEE WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?!" Quackity yelled in his Mexican Dream voice, his voice bubbling with laughter. "IS THIS A DATE OR SOMETHING, MAN?"

"Quackity, go AWAY!" Dream ordered, punching the character who had stripped to his underwear. "YOU'RE INDECENT! THERE IS A LADY HERE!"

Y/n laughed, enjoying the scene of fancy Dream hitting naked Quackity away from their picnic dinner.

"I'm your waiter, I'm your waiter!" Quackity said in his normal voice, still laughing. "DREAM! WILL YOU STO— QUIT HITTING ME!"

This had turned chaotic very quickly.

"We don't need a waiter," Dream informed him.

"Then I'm the singing gram you ordered." He started singing a song and Dream groaned. "HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY—"

"No! You're being a clout chaser, go away!"

"I'm honestly impressed we made it this far without anyone coming into the voice channel," Y/n admitted.

"I paid them," Dream joked.

"You did not!" Karl's voice suddenly came through and Y/n laughed. "We were all just being polite and staying away but we're getting bored! We've been so patient!"

"Yeah, hurry up! We wanna play!!!" Sapnap whined. "Dream, it's not fair for you to steal Bugsy from us for so long."

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with a laugh as Dream laughed along.

"Just ten minutes! Ten more minutes!" Dream bargained but none of them would have it. "Just so I can say goodbye!"

"No!" George insisted. "Right now!"

"Look, wait, wait, hold on—"

<Sapnap joined the game> <GeorgeNotFound joined the game> <KarlJacobs joined the game>

"—hold ON!" Dream begged, watching as the three boys ran and joined Quackity by the picnic blanket.

Y/n could not stop laughing at all the avatars around them. The date had been so peaceful and cute but all good things must come to a chaotic end.

"Wait, come on, Karl, Karl, Karl," Dream said quickly. "Come here. Bug, just a sec, please. Stay right there."

"Okay," she agreed, curious to see his plan.

Karl followed him and of course Sapnap couldn't help but also join them.

"Okay," Dream whispered loudly, clearly wanting everyone to hear his offer. He crouched and the other two copied. "Just give me ten minutes—"

"Ten?" Sapnap asked loudly.

"Shhh!!! Yes, ten minutes, to say goodbye and, you know, end the date."

There was a long, thick pause. "What exactly are your intentions with Bugsy Games," Karl asked seriously, matching Dream's whisper.

"Well, I wanna make sure she gets home safe, you know, so I'm gonna drop her off and, I don't know, see if maybe.... maybe she'll give me a hug?"

Karl and Sapnap both gasped dramatically and Y/n giggled, sparing a glance at her chat who were all freaking out.

"What the hell?" Quackity said while laughing. He and George were still standing near Y/n so they were just watching the goons with her.

"Bugsy is not that kind of girl!" Sapnap protested. "You think she's just gonna give you a hug?"

"Sapnap! Do you not know how to whisper???"

George let a loud laugh slip before slapping his hand over his mouth, which his mic picked up.

"Okay, Dream, wait, so you're gonna try to... hug her?" Karl clarified. "She won't even let me hug her. Good luck."

"Well, I'm not going to force her into anything but, I don't know, she said something about holding my hand earlier so I just thought maybe there's a possibility—"

"WHAT?" Karl yelled before going back to the whisper. "Okay, okay, don't panic, but that's huge. Dadnap, a word?"

He and Sapnap broke off from Dream and formed their own huddle, except their whispers were incoherent mumblings that weren't even English.

"Oh my gosh," Y/n groaned loudly, an unmistakable laugh behind her words.

"Okay," Sapnap said, rejoining Dream. "We'll give you five minutes but if you take any longer, we're barging in and killing you."

"Yes, sir!" Dream said. "Thank you, sirs."

"Mhm. Okay, break!"

They all uncrouched in sync before Dream ran back to Y/n.

"How did it go?" she asked as if she didn't hear the entire conversation.

"Bad news," he started. "Your dad's want you home."

"Shame, I was quite enjoying my time."

Dream slowly turned towards the boys as if to glare at them for ending the date before turning back to her. "Then, maybe, I don't know, we could do this again sometime?"

"I.... think I'd like that," she said slowly, trying to tease him.

He giggled and told her he was going to drop her off at her house, even though when the date was over, they were all probably gonna mess around together anyway so there was no point in them leaving the group. But it was the thought that counted.

He ended up taking her back to the treehouse, which warmed her heart. She also noticed when they faced each other at front of the door, she could see the four other boys watching them.

"Goodnight, my sweet Bug," he said poshly.

"Goodnight, Dream." He turned away but she stopped him. "Wait!" She moved to his side and made a loud, MUAH, sound before stepping back in front of him. "A kiss on the cheek," she clarified, not wanting him to think she gave him a real kiss.

"Cute," he said under his breath, almost like he didn't mean to say it out loud. "Night night." He turned away and ran down to the others, screaming the whole way. "GUYS, DID YOU SEE THAT? BUG GAVE ME A KISS ON THE CHEEK!! OMG DID YOU SEE, DID YOU SEE?"

Chat was gonna have a field day with that. Actually, with a lot of things that had happened. Oh, she could see the clips and edits now.... oh boy.

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[literaphobe]

season four of she-ra rated by catradora content

the coronation: okay so... rightfully. there’s nothing i should be appraising here. adora and catra didn’t interact or bring each other up at all. but bro... catra’s new outfit... the best character of season four. i’m kidding but also she is so hot. catra seems to be dealing w the portal incident by framing it as a victory, since the rebellion was hurt by it. but also who cares. who fucking cares man. her arc this episode was about her deciding to make hordak her little bitch and design a new sexy outfit. that adora did NOT talk about nor seem visually affected by >:( yes, this entire season will be measured by how much i think it was a missed opportunity that adora did not get to thirst. jk but also am i? 500000000/10 for catra’s new look, 0/10 for official catradora stuff

the valley of the lost: god...... this episode. i know it’s like one of the few catradora moments we have this season already but it makes me LIVID that adora said that flirty ass line and catra never even got to hear it. anyway, let’s begin properly. double trouble seeks catra out and says they’re gonna be her new best friend. catra says “oh, yeah? i’m done with best friends”, making it official that she and adora broke up 😔 like friend broke up oh my god 😔 KFKSKDKD like we been knew but i think it is so dramatic and funny of catra to announce that she’s never having a best friend again because adora broke her heart 😔💔 i mean i know it’s also like sad but let’s keep it light ok uwu anyway. sigh. double trouble! auditions for catra! by pretending to be her in battle! which is great for them, but not for me and my hang ups about adora bringing back a flirty line catra said to her in season one and winking and then catra doesn’t hear or see ANY of it. sigh. let’s go through the scene. adora sees who she thinks is catra run in and say “hey! careful with the goods”, pouncing on adora and taking her down. adora tosses dt!catra into the walkway above and they get a cut on their face. not sure whether this is meant to signify adora pulling less of her punches around catra or double trouble just not being as agile as catra is in combat. it’s probably the latter because when you think about it, throwing catra away is much more of a defensive tactic than an offensive one. anyway! double trouble still does a more or less good job fighting adora as catra. huntara calls adora over and is like hi adora! could you stop fighting ur gf for one fucking second? we need you to do literally anything else. and adora (who has NO IDEA she’s not fighting her ACTUAL gf) is like :( wait no what really?? ok :( one sec tho lemme pull off this super cool sexy farewell thing before i stop fighting catra i’ve been practicing it for years u kno kinda been working up to doing this bit. and then she. grabs dt!catra after stopping them from running away, and grabs this trap thingy to trap them against the side of this wall. “i got something more important to do :) it was fun distracting you though ;)” and she actually WINKS and she looks SO PROUD of her damn self but it means pretty much NOTHING because that’s not ACTUALLY catra :( wtf :( the worst thing about this whole situation is that adora clearly wanted to do her whole super strong super powered thing and then go BACK to catra and like.... gloat or something.... flirt some more.... kiss her.... i don’t know. but dt!catra is gone because they’re good at getting out of tight spots, and adora is like “how did she get out of that? :( i wanted to see more of her tf....” anyway double trouble, scorpia, and catra are escaping in a skiff after this. catra thinks double trouble did marvelously. “i grew up with adora, and you fooled her” well catra. i’m very sorry. but if i were adora seeing you in that new look for the first time, i wouldn’t be checking to see if u were ooc. i would be.... hm idk.... flirting with you as hard as possible? like i know i complained that we never got a proper reaction from adora re catra’s new outfit, but i think we could interpret this scene as a lapse in adora’s morals <3 like she gave catra such a hard stare the last time they saw each other, and the next time they saw each other (after this) adora glared at her too, but somehow this time she’s all 👅👅👅👅👅it was fun distracting you ;) ;) ;) like ok. slow down there horn dog. “if you can do that, we can do anything. this is gonna be fun...” catra :( perhaps you would have more fun :( if you suggestively fought with adora :( yourself? :( 8/10

flutterina: catra’s having bad dreams :( her mistakes and past actions are haunting her and the guilt is messing her up so bad :( so what am i choosing to focus on? the fact that adora was in her dream :) dream!adora looks Angry and dream!catra is scared and backing away :( a quick callback to when adora gave catra an angry Look when she destroyed the portal, and catra looked scared for a second before her face hardened back to something equally pissed off looking. so this dream obviously tells us that the thought of adora genuinely just hating and being pissed off at catra... hurts and scares her. because we all know that she loves adora and just wants adora to love her back! but.... ya lmao. dream!adora asks “why did you do it?!” reminiscent of what she said last season, but angrier this time. and we all know that catra doesn’t really know why. sometimes things torture you so bad and you do stuff that you can’t come up with sound or logical reasons for. u would rather keep running or keep deflecting, and so catra deflects dream!adora’s questions by waking up. i wonder if catra dreams about adora more than what we’re shown in this scene. i also REALLY wanna know if adora dreams of catra. i want more :( why this season gotta be the fucking break up season bro :( like i KNOW they’re thinking of each other. gimme the content :( for now, let’s skip ahead to💔 their only real interaction this season💔 holy fuck. stay strong u guys. stay strong me. i think it’s very offensive of she-ra to not give me a catradora heavy season every season? like yeah this season is good but god at what cost? they should’ve known i was going to do an evaluation? :/ that i was gonna rate each ep out of ten according to how much catradora content there was? :/ the fuck bros. ,,,,anyway, let’s get to the actual scene. catra’s walking around w an ipad and scorpia is talking to her. catra looks like. v serious and :| and >:/ BUT when scorpia asks about she-ra catra becomes >:) and >:D “she-ra was in elberon, which means she’s nearby.” “do you think she’ll try some secret attack? :0” “;D oh i’m counting on it ;)” fucking god catra can you just flirt normally??? like be horny in a normal way??????? u can just ask adora out on a date. have u tried that? i know she blocked u for nearly destroying the world but adora’s a hoe ❤️ she would’ve said yes ❤️ u don’t need to kidnap a town as an excuse to see her ❤️ yes i know she did it to plant flutterina!DT into the rebellion as a spy but shhhhh ❤️ we finally get to the most GORGEOUS “hey adora”,,, ever because it’s the only hey adora of this season 💔 i looked back and we did not get a ‘hey adora’ last ep. honestly, adora should’ve figured it wasn’t catra JUST from the lack of greeting. catra is fucking POLITE ok :( anyway. it’s so homophobic that we only got ONE “hey adora” in THAT LOOK but..... it’s okay. because it’s such a good one. catra’s hand is propping her face up and she just looks so pretty.... the way she SAYS the hey adora too like bros... how we holding up? bad? she’s posing and lounging so prettily... “took you long enough to show up” HHHHH why does she sound like a gf who’s a little :/ that her gf showed up late for their date.... bro....... must she SMILE that prettily..... also adora’s reaction... she goes :0 and her EYES get this like ‘oh wow’ look for a Moment right before she remembers she’s supposed to be mad when she sees catra then she’s like >:( CATRA >:( and like. let’s dissect that look for a moment? it’s almost like AWE but why??? why would she be at all surprised to see catra??? catra is IN the horde like. she got happy for a moment until she remembered she’s meant to be mad. good bye <3 i will now be passing away <3 “seriously. i thought i’d have to kidnap another town to get your attention” TO GET. YOUR ATTENTION. HHHHH HELP THEY’RE GAY...... BRO WHY.............. THE GAYNESS UNMATCHED..... anyway catra continues like OH RIGHT u were at a PARTY feeling SPECIAL and adora.... oof oh fuck she COLD she was like skip the SPEECH i’m done playing your GAMES and she like reminds catra of the portal and they just... oof this really IS the breakup season it’s so brutal bros :( can’t they just kiss :( like nooooo don’t stare at each other angrily you’re so sexy aha OK BUT... at the end after catra runs away and adora’s getting hugged by flutterina and everyone’s cheering for her... she lets her ‘catra BAD’ and ‘yay haha rebellion for the win! :)’ facade drop for a moment... and she gets this really sad look on her face that makes u think.... and the next scene we see catra sitting on the ledge of where she and adora used to sit together? and she looks real upset too???? they hate being enemies. 9/10

pulse: in this ep adora fucking SHUSHED spinnerella and netossa while they were bickering and like... ok wow. rude :/ adora straight up was like ok HAHA WOW we GET IT ur HAPPY y’all have WIVES and iiiiiii don’t HAVE a GIRLFRIEND because my crush is EVIL :( on the other hand, we find out that catra is meeting up regularly with double trouble to get intel. it’s very funny because she’s like yeah yeah WHATEVER what can u tell me about SHE-RA >:( like girl? u are not subtle ❤️ catra literally met double trouble and said let’s be friends with benefits ❤️ the benefits? you spy on adora and tell me everything about what she does ❤️ was she pretty today ❤️ haha jk she’s pretty everyday ❤️ here’s some bitcoin for your troubles ❤️ AND THEN the next time double trouble facetimes catra they transform into bow and glimmer to roast them and catra is at most unamused and annoyed but BUT when double trouble pretends to be she-ra catra’s like HAHAHAHDJSJDJSJD OMG,,,, INSPIRED FAM,,,, SO FUNNY TOP PEAK COMEDY,,,, ABSOLUTE LEGEND,,,,,, SHOW ME SHE-RA AGAIN,,,,, u know that thing where you find people who you’re attracted to way funnier than they actually are? ya :-) apparently catra doesn’t even need the Actual she-ra/adora to lose her shit. she just needs to see a physical representation of her and it’s suddenly Peak Comedy. someone once pointed out that this moment was the last time catra was happy all season and... can we take a fucking second to cry about that. haha 💔 anyway double trouble is happy that they finally cracked the code to making catra go from ARGH >:( to HAHAHAHAHAH :D so they give her she-ra intel as a treat ❤️ “she-ra’s going back out to destroy the bot that hurt her friend” “ugh 🙄 typical heroic adora plan” shut up bitch u dream of her lips on yours!!!!!! 7/10

protocol: no rights for white boys ❤️ 0/10

princess scorpia: well, nothing! but since i’m scouring i might as well say the line where catra says “you don’t need a princess in your life telling you what to do!” to hordak she’s actually talking about her and adora haha i mean duh :-) anyway since i’m here can i talk about how hot catra is again this season. i’m madly in love did y’all see her from behind? even her back view is beautiful i am going to combust <3 2/10

mer-mysteries: what a great episode! 0/10

boys’ night out: catra gets banned from doing war crimes because hordak wants to do the war crimes all by himself and this is a real bummer because there’s an even SMALLER chance she’ll bump into adora now :( jk ik she was avoiding her this season because the guilt was eating her alive haha :-) also glimmer and adora fought and we all know that ‘but the rebellion’s in a worse place than ever since you showed up’ is like a very :( line but when u think about it it’s true because adora joining the rebellion pissed catra off so much she became an antagonistic force driving most of the conflict in the series up to this point in the story JFJDDJDJDJ like imagine if they brought catra up in this convo ‘i’m doing my BEST glimmer :(‘ ‘ok but what can we do about your terrible taste in evil women????? was ur catgirl gf ex really worth it????? did she hit that different???? did the catgirl ***** slap that hard????’ 1.5/10

hero: man mara is so hot! 0/10

fractures: scorpia said catra’s name in front of adora... ‘shadow weaver! and at bright moon! everything is making so much sense about why catra’s been acting the way she has’ and adora’s reaction is so interesting.... she goes from this ‘catra....’ look to this ‘catra >:(‘ look and like it’s interesting to see catra’s psyche explained to adora like this and it’s clearly something that makes adora feel bad but then she remembers the bad stuff catra did and forces herself to focus on that. 5/10 for that alone lmao

beast island: bow being very upset and annoyed and disappointed in glimmer is a fun little parallel to how adora has felt about catra’s descent into the darkness. you feel doubly upset and doubly betrayed when someone you’re in love with goes against what you stand for, and the goodness you know they’re capable of but aren’t showing. 1/10

destiny part 1: ‘i’ll be happy when the rebellion and she-ra are gone for good!!!’ are u sure about that catra :/ 1/10

destiny part 2: catra gets into a huge fight with some dude and right after she sort of collects herself after barely beating him she hears “hey, catra” and she completely freezes up. she’s been so proactive with avoiding adora all season... and the moment in 4x03 nearly doesn’t count because she was acting specifically to get double trouble snuck into the rebellion. aside from a necessary interaction in which she was far away and removed from adora anyway.... where she was far enough away to smile and laugh and manipulate the situation.... she hasn’t wanted to see adora at all, clearly. and having this happen now, right after one of her worst fights, right after she thought she was going to win... “no. you can’t do this. you can’t come in and take this from me now.” “woah, i knew this would get a rise out of you, but still, you really are obsessed, aren’t you, kitten?” and catra’s standing there like 👁👄👁 until double trouble reveals themself and says stuff that :( hurts :( i am not going to repeat until i get to anything catradora relevant because i don’t wanna be bummed out ok hoes 😔 anyway double trouble becomes adora again and is like “didn’t need you... left you” and puts catra’s hand on adora’s cheek...... and then shoves catra???? rude :( 7/10

[crimefightingpigeons]

I’ve shared my head canon on how we go from Doomsday to Turn Left - your turn! What do you think happens??  - @loupettes

OK I’ve got no excuse for why this took me so long (other than complete lack of productive brain cells) but heyyy look part 3 is here! And hopefully it was worth the wait??? Anyone wanna place bets as to how long part 4 will take haha? I PROMISE it will happen though because I’m determined to finally finish this fic.

part 1 | part 2

A Brief Guide to Love and Defending the Universe

3.

After a thorough talking to about her reckless actions and a mandated night of sleep (which everyone took advantage of), the team got right back to work with a lot more luck. Apparently the fractures just hadn’t been wide enough to travel through before, and now they were. For the most part, they took this as an absolute blessing and tried their best to ignore its solemn reminder that they only had so much time left.

For efficiency, both Rose and Mickey took on travelling through the cannon while Pete remained on base to keep track of the two. Plus, connecting Rose’s old phone to the mainframe, they had found a way to call the TARDIS’s number to every universe it could connect to, hoping at some point the ship’s owner might just pick up. On a good day, between the three of them, they could reach upwards of a hundred different worlds.

As powerful as the cannon was, though, nothing came as easy as they would have liked. For one thing, there was no way of knowing how close or far they were to their old universe, no way of knowing from this side of any crack where the Doctor was. It was a setback, but not a surprising one. What was even more frustrating, though, was the recharge time needed between jumps.

Most of the time it was extremely horrible just being stuck. All they had to do upon landing was a universal scan for TARDIS tech, wait a few seconds for a negative answer, and then… wait. Maybe if their own world wasn’t collapsing in on itself every day it might have been easier to enjoy, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case and each passing minute of not being able to do anything useful was quite stressful. And that wasn’t even accounting for the added trouble they’d face when they happened to be dropped right in the middle of an unwanted fight or war zone.

Other times, though, it could truthfully be amazing. Sure the entire multiverse was in a constant state of trouble, but sometimes it was nice to land somewhere that just needed a bit of help. Taking down local authoritarian regiments, solving mysterious disappearances, assisting on small scale alien invasions and such. It was just nice to help and feel properly useful. And sometimes it was these small victories that were just enough to get them to continue on through the next day.

Occasionally, though, very rarely, there would be an unexpected surprise waiting for them.

The first time it happened was to Rose. She had been running off from some strange alien hunting her, and just as she found a safe place to hide, there it was: the TARDIS. Her heart stopped and she didn’t believe her eyes. It didn’t make sense… the scanner said he wasn’t here… It wasn’t possible… Her mind was racing frantically, and then the door of the ship opened and… a blonde man with a piece of lettuce attached to his lapel stepped out. It was a man Rose recognized instantly from an album the Doctor had shown her. Except that her version of that Doctor had chosen celery as his accessory of choice… It wasn’t him, not her him anyways. Parallel universe, parallel Doctor. But before she could even think of how to react, the alarm telling her to jump back went off and she chose to go.

A few weeks later, Mickey had his own run in with the Doctor. He nearly didn’t believe Rose when she told him and Pete about seeing him, figured it was just her mind playing tricks on her. But then during one of his jumps, he had quite literally ran into a strange young man wearing a bow tie and tweed jacket.

“Oh, sorry there mate—” the man apologized as they both fell to the ground. Then just as the pair locked eyes, “Mickey?” The man’s smile grew and he excitedly jumped up, pulling Mickey up with him, and took him into a tight embrace. “Oh Mickey Smith! I can’t tell you how good it is to see you!”

Mickey just smiled and hugged him right back. “It’s good to see you too, Doctor.” It didn’t take an idiot to figure out exactly who that man was.

Since then, they both had a handful of other run ins with versions of the Doctor either they knew or who knew them. Most of the time it was alright. Mickey always seemed to enjoy the reunions, but Rose usually did her best to avoid them. Sure she wouldn’t mind a glimpse from afar every so often, but it was also difficult being so close yet so far from her own Doctor. And on the occasions she did run into a version of him who had clearly lost her… well, it wasn’t exactly easy to walk away from those situations. So she simply pushed forward, not letting herself get distracted.

But as time continued on, the team was facing more difficult problems than just running into people they didn’t want to see. If there were any stars left in the sky they were impossible to locate on even the clearest of nights, and the world was getting more scared and angry every day. Even Torchwood had been run down, the population blaming them for not doing more. Rose, Mickey, and Pete all felt even happier that they had decided to keep this project on the down low. Doing what they were trying to do was hard enough on its own, and they couldn’t imagine having to do it while putting up with angry protestors striking chaos.

Still, even with that obstacle out of the way, they couldn’t help but lose a little more hope every day. Some days the basement would be made a mess from a frustrated break down, and they believed no other room in any world had hosted so many nightmares or tears. They all knew they had a few weeks left- at the very most. A few weeks to get through enough of the infinite universes out there to find the right one. A few weeks to sort through whatever problem might be waiting for them on the other side. Every day it became harder to imagine finding real success. And as it turned out, inevitable universal destruction partnered with a lack of optimism and massive burnout wasn’t the motivation they had been looking for.

Pete chose to step back a bit to spend some more time with Jackie and Tony. It felt nearly cruel thinking everything he had just gained in the last few years was about to be snatched from him. And maybe it wasn’t responsible, but he was going to spend whatever time he could with his family.

Meanwhile Rose was simply running out of energy to keep going. After years of pushing and overworking herself, she had started taking the tiniest of steps back as doubt and hopelessness ravaged through her mind. Maybe this was as far as they got, she started to tell herself. Maybe she had been right all those years ago. Maybe without the Doctor she really wasn’t anything special. She remembered her young, naïve self. You don’t just give up. You don’t just let things happen. They felt almost like a stranger’s words now.

Of course if anyone knew that wasn’t true it was Mickey Smith, and he was determined to support her however he could. Most of the time this involved taking on some extra work, to let her have a moment of peace whenever she needed. With his gran gone (which truthfully he was thankful she wasn’t around to experience all this), he certainly had the time. And he knew if it had been Rose in his position, she would do the same for him.

Nowadays time seemed to bleed into itself and the gang never knew exactly when it was (they hoped that was just because of all the work they were doing in a windowless basement, and not a side effect from the whole multiverse ending thing). It felt like a very early morning though, at this particular moment. Pete was probably asleep next to Jackie or watching Tony. Rose was taking a nap on the cot in the corner. And Mickey kept working, taking full advantage of that autopilot function he wasn’t as judgemental at Rose for using anymore. As usual, he encountered failure, after failure, after failure. But he kept going, kept persisting, kept—

*beep beep*

Mickey looked down at his scanner on a planet which seemed to be made entirely of purple rock, a bit startled. His mind went through all the possibilities of what that sound could mean. Low battery? Interference? Surely it couldn’t have been…

But it was! The scanner had received a signal from the TARDIS. Their actual, real TARDIS.

A purely joyful grin spread over Mickey’s face and tears started welling in his eyes. He didn’t know which galaxy, which planet he was on. He didn’t know where Earth was, or wherever the Doctor happened to be at this moment. He didn’t know when he happened to land, 50 years in the past or 2000 years in the future. But none of that was important. Instead he chose to break out into a mad happy dance, hoping in the back of his mind that no alien was around to see him make a fool of himself.

After wearing himself out, Mickey couldn’t help but want to jump back. But then he remembered he still had to wait for his device to repower.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered under his breath. 25 minutes to go until he could jump, 25 excruciatingly impossible long minutes.

Finally though, after what really did feel like an eternity, Mickey’s alarm went off and not even a whole second later he jumped back. Once his feet hit the platform in the basement, he looked up to find a still sleeping Rose, prompting his grin to reappear.

“Rose, Rose!” he started calling her name as he stumble-ran towards her. Then crouching down by her side and shaking her, “Rose, wake up!”

“Mmm… wha’ is’t?” Rose shot up, but her mind was still caught in a sleepy haze. Mickey didn’t have the patience to wait for her to finish waking up, though, and started pulling her along.

“Got somethin’ to show you, come on now. Here, take this,” he handed Rose his jump button and helped her onto the platform. Then, running back to the console, he paused for a second to carefully adjust the coordinates and recalibrate the cannon.

“Mickey what’s going on?” Rose asked again, now awake but still completely confused.

Mickey smiled at her once again. “See for yourself, in 3, 2…” and he sent her off.

“Mickey!” Rose tried shouting again, but it was too late. And before she knew it she was thrown into the street of another world. A world which looked a lot like London, Earth at night. Which maybe it was, but surely it wasn’t their old London. Rose wandered down the road a bit, enjoying the wind on her face as much as possible and wondering what Mickey could have possibly wanted her to have seen… then she saw a gathering crowd around the corner. Her attention piqued and she continued on towards it. There was a big building- a corporate office of some sort or another- surrounded by emergency services of every kind. She was in the middle of wondering what could have possibly happened when a red headed woman came up behind her.

“Listen, there’s this woman that’s going to come along. A tall blonde woman called Sylvia. Tell her that bin there, alright? It’ll all make sense. That bin there.”

Rose could tell something good just happened to this woman by her smile alone. For a moment she remembered when she smiled like that, and the one person who could always effortlessly pull it from her. But she pushed it out of her head. She almost wanted to warn that other woman to hold off on her joy, too. If only she knew what was just around the corner for them all. Rose was sure she wouldn’t have such a reason to be celebrating.

With a sigh, Rose decided to walk away. Whatever Mickey had found so interesting about this event had either passed or simply wasn’t getting her attention like it might have any other time. And frankly she wasn’t too invested in helping that Sylvia woman- or whatever her name was- find a bin. So she went off into the dark street, hoping to clear her mind.

But then… something strange started happening. Rose was still walking down the street, but the ground beneath her started to disappear and the world around seemed to fuzz in and out just slightly and there was a weird static-y feeling around her-

And then everything was back to normal. She was back on the same street. At night. With a giant web star in the sky-

Rose’s head jolted back up to notice the very interesting thing that had certainly not been there just a few moments ago. ‘What the hell is going on?’ she thought. But before she could think of any sort of reasonable answer, she saw missiles being launched at whatever it was floating overhead, blowing it up.

On pure instinct, Rose started sprinting towards the source of the shooting. The whole time wondering- praying- that somehow all of this meant exactly what she was hoping it meant. That he was here. Maybe the Doctor had somehow gotten wind of their interdimensional jumping, maybe the TARDIS had picked up on it and alerted him! Maybe that weird moment she had experienced just a moment ago had been the Doctor pulling her back to him! With each breath and dash forward she had to forcefully restrict every ounce of hope in her body from seeping through.

Finally, Rose arrived at the scene. It appeared things had calmed down a bit, but there were still emergency vehicles and men and women in camo uniforms and red berets all around.

“What happened, what did they find?,” she slowed down as she got close to the barriers. There was a woman- a red headed woman. Rose turned to her. “Sorry, but… Did they find someone?”

“I don’t know. Bloke called the Doctor or something.”

“Where is he?”

“They took him away, he’s dead.”

Rose froze. Any thoughts running through her mind just a second ago disappeared and her body filled with a heavy numbness. She could hear the woman still going on behind her, but didn’t register a single word of it.

“…I came so far,” she breathed out.

Finally, though, Rose forced herself back to reality. Her worst fear may have been coming true, but that didn’t stop the rest of the multiverse from imminent destruction. And there was something weird about this world, something off… and something familiar about the voice talking to her. Rose turned around and for the first time since running into her, got an actually good look at who she was talking to. This woman wasn’t just any ordinary woman. It was the same woman who had told her about that bin just a few minutes ago in that crowded street. Something weird was definitely going on. A dead Doctor, this woman showing up twice… with something very odd on her back unlike before…?

“What’s your name?”

“Donna. And you?”

“I’m just… passing by… I shouldn’t even be here. This is wrong. This is so wrong,” she rambled on, more and more of her focus being diverted to whatever was on this woman’s back. “What was it, sorry? Donna what?”

“Why d’you keep looking at my back?”

Rose snapped her eyes away to look anywhere else. The last thing she needed to do was upset the woman who might be able to give her some answers. “I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You keep looking behind me, you’re doing it now. What is it, what’s there? Did someone….”

But before Donna could finish her sentence and before Rose had any more time to investigate, the world around her started to fuzz back out. And she was gone.

[haro-whumps]

Hi I’m the first ren anon and I was wondering if you could tell me like the specific things ren does that are Not Okay? If you don’t want to that’s totally fine I’m just trying to take ren anon #2’s advice and figure out which behaviors are Bad Ones. I also don’t have insurance , so no therapy for me lol 👌😎

RIP but also I feel that. And sure! I’ll just sorta go through as we see it happen. Under cut cause this is LONG

--Possessive and controlling of Soren’s body. They blow up when he alters his appearance without their permission and against their preferences

--Desires ownership of friends, actual literal ownership.

--” But if you feel like you need to, I won’t mind if you rough him up a little during training. It might make him even more grateful to be owned by me, haha! “ Wishes ill on friend specifically so that they can play the hero, perfectly fine with putting Soren’s well-being at risk in order to emotionally manipulate him into liking them more and seeing them in a better light

--” He could’ve always come crawling back to Ren! They would have forgiven him for acting unreasonable, just because they got mad. “ Victim blaming, claiming that SOREN should be the one apologizing to THEM

-- “ They tugged the instructions off his chest, pulling at the wrong angle so the adhesive would pull at the skin. Just a little tug, just a little poke at their boy, nothing mean, no, they could never be mean to Soren. “ “ Soren cried out sharply with the next slap, backhanded and hard, his body knocked into the rim of the box he was still sitting in. “ Ren is genuinely delighted by causing Soren pain and discomfort, but internally justifies it to themself as nothing “too mean”

--” “Testing responsiveness, mm?” Ren murmured aloud, as though to themself, but entirely for Soren’s sake. “ Saying things specifically because they know it’ll distress Soren

-- “Fragile thing,” Ren murmured, petting his pretty hair, “Delicate little thing, oh, it’s alright now, it’s alright. You’re so delicate, so delicate.” Ren hurts Soren, but then follows it up by providing comfort and affection, which “overrides” the pain that they themself caused. Also, this is more subtle victim blaming, claiming that it’s SOREN’S fault that he’s in pain from the slap because he’s delicate and fragile, instead of, yknow, being in pain because Ren slapped him

--”Master–”They slammed him to the floor, hand gripping hard over his mouth, “ Ren reacts VIOLENTLY to small mistakes. Soren DIDN’T know any better in this situation, but still Ren hurts him for the accident.

--Also just in general Ren has a NASTY, hair-trigger temper that manifests in violent ways, but they self-justify once again

--” “Now you are Soren,” they said affectionately, bestowing the name like a gift, which it was. “ Ren’s ego is MASSIVE. We see throughout the series that Ren has a RIDICULOUS god-complex and believes everything they say and do is a gift bestowed upon the people around them

--as teens they coerced him into skinny dipping, which was a violation of his boundaries but they bulldozed past them because what they wanted took greater importance in Ren’s mind than Soren’s mental/emotional well-being

--Possessive, again, Ren is so possessive, reacting violently to the thought that anyone else would even touch Soren, because they see Soren as their property and their property alone. Like really there’s a reason #possessive behavior is on p much every single post in that story

--They photograph and videotape Soren without his knowledge or consent (not that his consent is particularly meaningful in this situation), which is a violation of boundaries and privacy

Like

A serious violation

Soren is under CONSTANT surveillance and he doesn’t know it (thank god, his anxiety could turn horrific if he did, if he were less the person (doll) that he is now) and that is Not Good

“ knowing that they were seeing him naked while he didn’t know that sent a thrill up their spine “ And of course Ren gets off on that violation, too

--They frequently compare Soren to birds (and later, 02 to dogs) which is dehumanizing as shit

--” tugging at the bottom of it with a sudden spike in anxiety.“Um, Exalted?”“Yes sweetheart?”“Do I, get to wear, maybe underwear, or pants, with this?”Ren laughed, squishing his freckled cheeks. “Of course not you silly goose!” “ Ren has a TOTAL disregard for Soren’s actual comfort, if what makes him uncomfortable is something that Ren wants

--“You will never,” Ren pet the hair back from one side of his face, “ever,” they pet the other side, “belong to anyone but me. You’re mine, Soren, forever, forever and ever. No one else will ever touch you, no one else will ever get you, you’re never leaving this house unless it’s on my leash.”Soren hiccupped as he smiled up at them, pressing into their palms, cheeks tearstained and ruddy.“Never, Soren,” Ren soothed, “You’ll never leave me.” Again we see Ren “comforting” Soren, but like, they’re just taking the opportunity Soren’s nightmare has provided to further manipulate him into loving and being dependent on them while securing their own possessive behaviors

--When Ren thinks Soren’s going to cut his hair, they LOSE it, screaming and hurting him, and then make him clean up the mess claiming that he was the one to make it. Super duper victim blaming galore.

--Selecting Soren’s hobbies for him. Soren may like dancing and playing the harp, but he sure as hell didn’t get to choose to do so

--Conditioning Soren to treat his collar like a lifeline and as physical proof that he is owned, which Ren manipulates into being Soren’s primary comfort.

--Drugging Soren without his knowledge or consent

--Fucking Soren, who has no actual ability to tell them no or tell them to stop if they do something he doesn’t like

--letting other people photograph him without him having any say in it, and profiting off of Soren’s physical appearance and actions.

--” pulled Soren in by the hair so hard that he yelped. But it was just because Ren was excited, so it didn’t count as actually hurting him. “ Ren has conditioned Soren to think that nothing they do “counts” as hurting him, and Soren is willing to bend over backwards to make excuses for Ren’s actions 

--” “Is that what they told you?” Ren said derisively, snorting a little. Soren blinked, and then melted. “ GASLIGHTING. Anything that doesn’t fits Ren’s narrative, they’ll manipulate. They make Soren think he’s gullible for believing other peoples “lies,” make him think he’s got a shitty memory (which, admittedly, given the universe this takes place in it’s true, but it’s still gaslighting behavior), will do anything to make Soren question his own sanity or intelligence or understanding as long as Ren gets off scott-free

--” Ren needed to reward Soren. So brave, so useful. “ Places value on their friends’ “usefulness”

--” they glanced in their rear view mirror and saw a particularly delicious sight.Soren’s mother “ They delight in the emotional distress of others, ESPECIALLY when the other people in question aren’t anybody Ren has mentally labeled as “theirs”

--They twist chaining Soren to the bed into a “reward”

--They’re willing to discard their friends at whim, as soon as it stops being convenient or entertaining for them. Also, they’re perfectly willing to get their friends arrested if it’ll suit their own ends. ALSO they isolate Lydia from her social circle and compound on her depression, making her see them as a shining light in a darkness that they, once again, caused, gaslight the fuck out of her, and have every intention of holding “sparing her” over her head

-- They punish Soren for shit that isn’t even his fault and use it as an opportunity to psychologically manipulate him further

--All of the physical abuse Ren subjects 02 to, all of the emotional manipulation, the dehumanization and degredation, plus forcing 02 to be a vouyer to Soren and Ren’s sexual acts while neither of them had any real way to consent

And that about does it! I tried not to double up on too many points, so if you go through you’ll find an instance of something in just about every paragraph, but yeah, Ren’s a nasty, nasty enby.

I love to write them but man! They are bad...

[minlucent]

block party (m) ⎪ 02

➾ pairing: reader x jeon jungkook

➾ word count: 4.5k

➾ genre: fuck boy next door au, enemies to lovers au, smut, pwp but what’s new tbh lol

➾ warnings: explicit sex, dirty talk, dom!jungkook, degradation, fingering, humiliation, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, thigh riding, panty sniffing, choking, breathplay, teasing, edging, im probably missing a lot more bc uh it’s really dirty

➾ summary: one mistake turns into two.

➾ a/n: SIKE! aye so i lied, block party isn’t on hiatus! btw sorry for not posting for months oops // happy valentines day bitches. heres my gift to you

➾ series:⎪01⎪02⎪

You still didn’t have a bed, so you had set up a cozy little blanket fort as a makeshift one for the past several days. However, often you found yourself not able to sleep at night due to the disgusting noises next door. Coincidentally, your bedroom was separated by only a thin wall from Jungkook’s room, and with no soundproofing, you had to hear many girls obnoxiously wail next door. Every. Fucking. Night. 

Oddly enough, he himself wasn’t as loud in bed as he had been with you; there was no dirty talk, no grunting, no deep groans. All you could hear was whoever his date was for the night moan at incredible decibels. You had expected him to use the same lines he used on me with all of his girl toys.

Yes, all. It seems as though every night is a new girl. A faceless stampede of women go in and out of your apartment complex and you have to see their faces every morning when you head out to a class. You weren’t disgusted at the girls, in fact, you applauded them for being able to get a good fuck in the middle of the school week; as a woman supporting women, you felt no need to compete with them.

Rather, you were revolted by Jungkook, as he treated each and every one of them as a toy that he plays with: it was a game to him get them in bed then never see her again. You weren’t sure if the women expected more than a one night stand, but it just bothered you that Jungkook didn’t even treat them like people; he was the opposite of a gentleman. A “rough man.” Or a “rude man.” Just an overall jerk.

You knew that if you had to hear one more night of him fucking the brains out of a girl, you would pull out all of your hair. So, you decided to go out.  Even though you didn’t know the girl who was hosting that well, you still decided to go to her party because her group of friends overlaps with yours. You didn’t really know the dress code for the club you were going to but you didn’t care; you put on a simple, pretty black dress, which was short but long enough to leave some to the imagination, high black pumps and some pretty red lingerie. To top of the sultry look you were going for, you painted on a deep, blood red liquid lip.  As you looked in your bathroom mirror, blotting your lips with a tissue, you decide to make things a little risky tonight just for giggles.  

After all, you were sure that you wouldn’t offend her because she probably didn’t expect you to be by her side the whole night; you two barely knew each other, and honestly, as grown a woman, you were sure she’d be happy for you to get some. She was a sweet girl. So, to spice up the night, you decided to forego the bra; even though you probably should’ve worn one, you thought you looked a hell of a lot hotter without one.  

When you walked in, the first person you saw was an old classmate of yours, but you decided not to interrupt his conversation and instead made a beeline towards the bar. You were sipping on a cocktail, staring the back of his head down, waiting for him to turn around because damn, he was looking so fucking gorgeous. You decided that if he didn’t turn around in a minute, you were marching over there and flirting your ass off because you were tired of being abstinent while hearing Jungkook get it every night. There was no way you were going to place yourself below Jungkook, both figuratively and literally.

You didn’t realize how on edge you were because you finished your drink before you knew it. Just as you were about to order another one, the bartender placed the same drink in a new cup right next to you. “The man over there paid for this drink,” he nodded towards a booth where you squinted to make out the face of the generous creep.

Are you fucking serious? That “creep” was manspreading in a booth, two girls on either arm, sending a quick wink at you as you made eye contact with him.  Fucking Jungkook. What a motherfucking pig. That fucker–

You were about to explode and say “fuck” a million more times and walk over there to tell him to leave you alone, but a tap on your shoulder stopped you. “Y/N?” You spun around, meeting the face of the man you were infatuated with just seconds ago.

“Taehyung! I was just about to walk over to talk to you!” you admitted.

“You should’ve come over earlier, I saw you when you walked in and, fuck… you are quite something,” he bit his lip as he looked at you up and down. Usually, you would be creeped out if someone said that, but coming from Taehyung, you blushed to the shade of your lipstick.

You guys hit it off immediately.  You were laughing it up with him, retelling your favorite memories from classes you shared together; you were pretty close to him before summer, but you just hadn’t seen him since.  You felt a pair of eyes on the back of your head, and you turned around, making eye contact with Jungkook. You could practically see the anger rolling off of him. He thought you were deliberately trying to make him jealous, but in reality, you were just horny for Taehyung. Who wouldn’t be?

Taehyung’s voice broke you out of your daze. “Really? I can’t believe we live in the same apartment complex. What a coincidence.”

“Oh yeah, haha, I know, I guess a bunch of broke college kids want to live there because it’s so affordable.” Your conversation was put to a halt when Taehyung excused himself to go to the restroom. You were alone for a moment until you saw Jungkook step up from his seat.

You laughed out loud when he stormed towards you, his jaw clenched in anger. He immediately snapped, hissing, “What do you think you’re laughing about?”

“I’m glad you finally left those poor girls alone,” you gave him a nice smile before spinning your stool away from him.

You almost got whiplash by how fast Jungkook spun you back around to face him. “Nah, I think they enjoyed my company. You should’ve seen how they kept sitting on my lap and shoving their tits in my face. It was amazing.” He leaned in, his hands on either side of your legs, trapping you in your seat.

“Sure sounds like it,” you try not to seem affected from his close proximity by grabbing your drink from the counter and taking a sip from it.

Suddenly, his anger is gone, and instead, he smirks down at you in amusement. “Is that jealousy I hear?”

“Seriously? Jealousy?” you laugh, “I have nothing to be jealous of.”

“Hm, if you say so,” his smile is mischievous as he grins at you, letting go of his grasp on your seat and standing back up. “So you don’t get jealous?”

“I’m not a fucking child, Jungkook.”

“So, you’re saying that you won’t mind if I go back to fuck to those girls?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I couldn’t care less.” With that, he just winked at you and made his way back to the crowd of women.

You watched as he got comfortable in the group, and almost immediately, a girl’s arm was around his neck. All of the women were over him, touching him, laughing with him. You felt nauseous at how he didn’t even give a shit at them; he was just putting on this show for you while they actually thought that he was interested in them.

Jungkook must have felt you staring at him, as he glanced at you with a smug smile and a cocked brow. You didn’t break eye contact; there was no way you were going to let him think that he had won. He winked at you, staring directly into your eyes as his hand slid down to the ass of a girl on his arm and give her a firm squeeze.

You shook your head and faced the other way, waiting patiently for Taehyung to return. You didn’t want to see Jungkook’s face for the rest of the night. Who does he think he is? Does he really think touching other women will get me to like him? Jesus, why were you thinking about that asshole when you were talking to a handsome man with an amazing personality, a man that isn’t a complete dick?

Taehyung was a nice guy. You could tell he wanted you physically, but he was a proper gentleman, so when he offered to walk you to your apartment, you graciously let him. After all, he lived in the same building as you, so you couldn’t feel bad about it. Although you were planning on getting laid tonight, you weren’t disappointed in the way the night ended with him. You got to know him a lot better as a person, and honestly, you would rather wait to fuck him to get more satisfaction out of it. Also, he was just nice to hang around with; sure, fucking him would be a plus, but it was no longer the main thing on your mind.

You giggled, a little tipsy, as you walked to your door with him. “I can’t believe you live on the same fucking floor too! What a small world.”

He chuckled as he backed you against your door. He thought you were absolutely adorable. “Luckily for you, you’ll be able to see me a lot from now on… ” Taehyung licked his lips, leaned down with his hands planted on your waist. You closed your eyes were waiting to feel his lips on yours, but you jumped when you heard a door slam open.

“YN! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Jungkook suddenly appeared in the hallway, pulling out from underneath Taehyung's height.

“Jungkook? You know Y/N?” Taehyung was surprised, but he didn’t seem to be too taken aback by the younger boy’s actions. “Are you guys…” he gestured between the two of you, “together?” You realized how bad it looked, with Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

“No! Not at all! We’re just neighbors!” you burst out anxiously, wanting to not let Jungkook scare him away. You fought out of his tight grasp and hurried back to Taehyung’s side.

“No, no, I get it. You guys seem like you need to work out some shit. I’ll see you later Y/N. And Jungkook, it was nice seeing you, man!” you stood there with your jaw dropped as Taehyung retreated down the hallway calmly; all of that hard work tonight was ruined by a certain prick who lived next door. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? In all honesty, you weren’t surprised that Taehyung backed off that easily; they were obviously friends and there was probably some bro-code thing going on.

You turned around to face Jungkook, fuming, “Thanks for the cockblock, asshole!” You weren’t planning on fucking Tae tonight, but you were worried that Jungkook messed up your plans with him in the future.

You try to shove him back, but his hands wrap around your wrists to stop you. “You’re one to talk! None of those girls would fuck me after seeing me with you!”

“That’s rich,” you called him out on his lie, “All of them were all over you. They probably didn’t even think twice about me. It’s not my fault that you want to fuck me so bad that you ditched all of them! Did you actually just leave the club and race to get here just because you saw me leave with Taehyung?”

“You think Tae cares about you? He’s just like me, we grew up together! He’s gonna fuck you and forget about you.” he raised his voice at you as he takes a step towards you, avoiding your question, but you got your answer anyway. 

You stood firm, “You know, you’re not making a very good case yourself. What the fuck do you want from me? Am I not allowed to make my own decisions? Who says that I want Taehyung for anything more than a fuck?”

He growls as he runs a hand through his hair. “You know what I want from you. And I know you know. So why are you acting like a little bitch? I saw the way you looked at me tonight; you want the same fucking thing I do, but I’m just trying to figure out why you won’t admit it.” He stared you down with furrowed brows, sneering, “Actually, I think I may have an idea. Was I too rough with you before? Could your little pussy not handle my fat cock? Is that why you’re afraid to fuck me now?” He now had the same cocky smile he had at the club, but this time he was bitter. You felt repulsed, and as much as you hate to admit it, a little excited at the same time. Why does a cocky personallity turn you on so much? Why are you already weak at the knees from his dirty words?

You flare your nostrils, fuming at his insult. “Trust me, your little dick is far from being the biggest thing that’s been in my vagina. Have you ever thought that maybe your dick wasn’t enough to make up for your shitty personality? That you weren’t able to satisfy me, so I just never came back for more?”

You saw his expression falter for a second. You wouldn’t let yourself feel bad for hurting his feelings because you were sure he would get over it. Anyone with that fragile of an ego needs to be put in their place.  He put his tongue in his cheek and sighed, “You know, I didn’t want to embarrass you like this, but I think I’m gonna have to.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest. “Tell me that you don’t want me. Tell me to stop.  If you don’t, I promise I won’t hurt your pride and talk about how right I was.”

You stood there in his arms for a moment, trying to resist his touch, but you knew you would give in. And so did he.  

You felt your legs hit the edge of his mattress and he is all over you, running his hands up and down your smooth thighs before pressing his lips to your throat. You feel his hand slowly moving over your dress to grope at your chest before reaching your throat. He taps his fingers against your pulse, clicking his tongue lightly.

“You’re such a pretty little thing, aren’t you? Are you going to let me have my way with you?” You nod desperately, wanting to feel him more.

You moan as you feel his grip tightening around your throat; you reach desperately for his wrist and fingers, grunting, “More. Choke me more.” Profanities drop from his lips as he stares hungrily down at you, grinning as he feels your throat begin to throb as he follows your wish.

You feel his other hand tracing your thighs, slowly climbing higher and higher. He flips the skirt of your dress up and stares at your wet core. “You’ve soaked yourself, haven’t you? Are you just that much of a whore for me?” He places the palm of his hand over your lace clad heat, pressing your panties roughly onto your wetness. He puts his index and middle fingers into your entrance over your panties, wanting to soak the lace as much as possible. You arched your back at the touch, moaning as he begins to play with you.

He laughs at how needy you are as his index finger taps against your swollen bud, twisting and turning it between his fingers. You let out a whimper and his eyes whip from your entrance straight to your lips, which he sinks his teeth onto. He is still playing with your clit as he releases his hold on your throat and moves his hand to your mouth. He slips his first two fingers between your lips and you suck on them graciously. You moan against them, following your cheeks and bobbing your head as if it was his cock instead.

“My little whore,” he leans into your neck and murmurs against your skin. He pulls his now-wet fingers from your lips and spreads the saliva across your cheek.  You feel him stopping his prodding at your entrance to pull your panties down your thighs. You kick them off your legs as you grab the back of Jungkook’s head to bring his lips to yours. “You just couldn’t resist me, could you? You tried to act like you didn’t need my cock, but here you are, soaking my sheets and writhing around in my bed.”

You bit your lip as you sit up, grabbing his arm to support yourself, “Shut up and put them in.”

“So needy...” he laughs. You feel his strong fingers circle around your entrance, poking around your vulva, but still denying their entry into your warmth. “I have you right where I want you; you’re gonna be screaming once I shove my fingers down your slutty cunt,” Jungkook growls as he thrusts two of his fingers inside you, curling up to reach for your g-spot. They slipped in so fucking easily, you barely felt the stretch because of how wet you were. This didn’t go unnoticed by him though, as he raised an eyebrow at you. “Hmm, your cunt is dripping, it’s the wettest one I’ve ever felt, sweetheart. You really are a little whore, aren’t you?”

“Hm, fuck,” you gasp out as he plunges his fingers in and out of your wet heat. Your eyes fall closed and you release your hold on him as you fall back into the pillows, enjoying the feeling of his long fingers inside of you. As he continues to fuck his fingers into you, you begin to feel the lack of oxygen in your head. You are gasping for air as he relentlessly abuses your little pussy, making it hard for you to catch your breath.

Once he sees your struggle, he releases his hold immediately and kisses the marks of his fingers away on your neck. Suddenly, you feel his fingers stop and you let out a whimper. “Please, Jungkook, don’t stop.”

He bites his lip as he looks down at your fucked out state, loving the sound of you begging. “Fuck yourself against my fingers, baby. Show me how much you want me.” Still hovering above you, he adjusts himself so that he settles between your legs, waiting for you to grind against his fingers. “Come on, sweetheart, be a good little slut for me.”

You nod aggressively, wanting to recreate the pleasure that you were feeling merely moments before. You arch your back, pressing your ass into the mattress, making his fingers exit your entrance, then raise your hips while lowering your back to get his fingers back inside of you, creating a seesaw-like motion. Each time his fingers bottom out inside of you, he curls them and rubs against the rough spot that has you twitching underneath him. You quickened your pace, going as fast as you could. You knew you could impress him if you were flipped over and had to fuck him on all fours or if you were simply on top of him, but instead, he trapped you in this position underneath him. You just imagined that you were fucking his cock and you rode his fingers as such.

You could feel Jungkook growing hard against your thigh, so you could tell he loved it as much as you. You heard him let out an occasional groan or grunt as you clench around his lean, long fingers; he loved the lewd sounds of your pussy squelching around him.

“Hmm, baby, you take my fingers so well. Your greedy little cunt just keeps sucking them in. You just can’t get enough can you, huh? My little cockslut is just so desperate to have anything inside of her,” he laughs as he pulls his fingers out, pulling them up so both of you can see the strings of wetness between his fingers as he stretches them apart. “I can’t wait for you to take my big, fat cock. Your sopping cunt is just begging for me;  I bet I’d barely be able to squeeze into this tight little pussy of yours…”

He pulls away and lifts your dress off of you. He marvels at how your breasts rise and fall as you breathe heavily; if he’s surprised that you aren’t wearing a bra, he doesn’t seem to care. He’s just infatuated with your chest to realize how easy it was to feel them. He takes off his shirt and shifts his position to lean against the headboard. He taps his thigh, “Take a seat, baby.”

“But…” you climb above him, about to sit on his lap, but you pause, “You’re wearing dress pants.”

“And?” He grabs your hips and pushes you down onto his lap, grinding you roughly against the coarse fabric.

“And aren’t you afraid I’ll ruin them?” He releases his hold on your hips and you gently rut against him, wanting to savor the feeling of his strong thigh pressing into you.

“I don’t give a shit. I know you’ll soak these pants with your dripping pussy; it will smell like your sweet cunt for days, no matter how many times I wash it.” He takes his cock out as he reaches for you panties thrown across the bed, raising it to his nose to take a deep whiff.

He is pumping his cock as he groans, “You smell so amazing, baby girl, I love it. I can’t wait to fuck you up.” He reaches over and stuffs the panties in your mouth, making you taste your own arousal. He plays with your nipples as you ride his thigh, slowing down as you feel your orgasm approaching.

When he notices your hips stuttering,  he pulls you off of him to prevent your climax. You whimper, the panties still in your mouth and you desperately try to climb onto him again. Instead, he laughs at your desperation as he flips you over, slapping your ass and pulling your gag from your mouth.

You lay on your stomach as you hear him taking off his pants and searching for a condom. You begin to hump the mattress, desperately trying to approach the orgasm that Jungkook had denied countless times throughout the night.

Before you know it, he’s right behind you, his erect cock prodding your thigh. “Stop that,” he slaps your ass again, watching it jiggle.  You feel the head of him rub against your folds, prodding against your sensitive clit, making you jump at the sensation. “Spread your legs.”

You obey immediately, following every one of his orders, making him hum in satisfaction. “I’ve got such a good fucking toy to play with, don’t I? You just do whatever I tell you.”

He sinks into his palms that rest on either side of your head and he begins to push inside of you. You feel the head pop in and you gasp out, grabbing at the bed sheets, as you savor every inch of his thick cock. You love the burn of the stretch, and you feel his fingers grip onto your jaw as he pulls your face towards him. His fingers sink into your mouth again and you moan, sucking hard on them.

When he finally bottoms out, with his hips against your ass, he groans into your neck, “You feel perfect around my cock, baby. You’re such a good little whore for me, aren’t you? So wet, so needy, just for me. You love this, don’t you?” He doesn’t wait for a reply; instead, he opens your mouth roughly and spits in it. He groans in satisfaction as he sees you swallow his saliva.

You felt the head of his dick against your womb and you shuddered as you clenched around his length, loving how deep his cock was buried inside of you. Jungkook began a fierce pace, pulling out until just the head of him was inside of you, then snapping his hips forward until you felt every part of his cock. You let out a scream while he continues to ram in and out of you, thrusting with so much force that the mattress bangs against the headboard with every twitch of his hips.

“Oh my god, Jungkook, your cock is so deep,” you gasp out, panting and moaning so loudly that you are sure someone will hear you through the thin walls.

“Hm, my little cockslut, you feel so fucking good around me. Your cunt was made for my dick, baby. So fucking tight for me. When’s the last time someone used it, huh? Hm, that’s right, scream my name, let everyone know that I’m the one who’s fucking you so good.”

“Oh, god, yes! Fuck me harder, please, Jungkook, just use me like the whore I am! I just want to feel your fucking cock all day!”

He lets out a deep chuckle as he pushes himself even deeper inside of you. “Be careful what you wish for, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so well, you’ll forget your own name. I’ll be fucking you until there are tears in your eyes, until it hurts to move. That’s right. you’ll be milking every last drop out of my cock, I don’t care if you’re begging me to stop. You’ll be my perfect little cockslut, my little sex slave. That’s what you want, right?”

“Yes, yes, yes, Jungkook, please! Make me yours! Claim me as your bitch!”

“You like that? You like being completely at my mercy? You’re like a bitch in fucking heat; I can’t wait to make you tremble because I’m fucking you so well.” You whimper as you feel yourself approaching your high. You bite the pillows as you try to contain the pleasure growing inside of you. “That’s right, cockslut. Come all over my fat cock, soak it like the little bitch you are.” His voice is deep and commanding, and you have no choice but to completely lay limp as you become undone.

Your body is trembling, just like his goal had been, and you begin to twitch as you feel him continue thrust into you at a speed that didn’t seem to be faltering at all. “Jungkook…” you whimper.

“Hmm? What is it baby girl? Too sensitive? Too bad. I said I wouldn’t stop until you milked every last drop of cum from my cock.” You were shaking, your body twitching with each thrust. Not only was his cock over-stimulating you, but you felt his thumb reach for your clit and begin to rub ruthlessly as he grabbed your jaw with his other hand. His lips sucked on yours, and you felt him smirk onto your lips and he continued to pound into you. “You felt so fucking good clenching around me and soaking me with your cum. I wanna milk your little pussy until you’re sobbing like the pathetic bitch you are. Got it?” he pushes you back down roughly and you lay there, letting him pump in and out of you, overstimulating and fucking you to his heart’s content.

You feel another orgasm quickly approaching as he sped up his pace. You writhe underneath him, trying to find anything to grab onto. But before you can even scream his name, you are convulsing around him, shaking from yet another orgasm.

You lay still out of exhaustion, but Jungkook doesn’t mind as he grips your hips and ruts into you, using your body as a sex toy to get himself off. He moans loudly, grunting as he approaches his high, and you feel him slow down as he groans, “Such a good fucking slut I’ve got on my hands.” He finally releases into his condom and he stays inside of you until he softens.  

Once he pulls out, he throws away the condom before plopping down next to you and laying on his back, toned chest rising and falling.  You flip over and rest your head on his bicep. Looking at him, he didn’t remind you of the asshole who was shameless in public, groping several women at once, but rather a boy with a sweet, child-like personality. Tonight didn’t mean that you liked him. Not at all. You still weren’t friends with him. This was definitely a one-time thing. Or, more accurately, a two-time thing.  

He turned his head and grinned at you. “So, were you ‘satisfied’ this time?” You rolled your eyes as he mocked you, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you nodded. He laughed like a child and grabbed your face to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You broke the kiss, “Jungkook?” He hummed and pulled your lips back to his, not wanting to waste a second. You laughed and pushed him away. “Can I stay tonight? I don’t have a bed.”

He just chuckles. “Didn’t I offer you my bed the day you moved in?”

[fslut]

So I just spent like 10 minutes rambling to myself about why I was upset about the OK KO finale so I figured why not put it into words and then just dropped the topic of the series for a while.

I will preface this statement by saying that yeah I am very happy that venomous and boxman are a couple of MGA men who are in love and married. I think that is a wonderful thing and I think they as a couple in theory are great, I love the couple where one is a ugly gremlin any other is a total hottie way out of their league but they love each other none the less and to see that in a gay couple is really cool.

However.

The way that these two were handled in practice is really really terrible. I'm going to preface this whole thing by saying do not mention that the series was canceled oh, I know that it was cancelled and here's the thing they had time. Cancellation is not something that is dropped on a series 20 seconds before the series finale. I also do not want to hear about how cartoon Network is probably to blame unless I hear an actual statement that that is the case I'm not going to buy that excuse because in the past few years cartoon Network has somewhat come to understand the appeal that LGBT content has.

Now, to elaborate I think venomous and boxman were done poorly as a couple.before Ian even confirmed that they indeed were a couple people had a hard time actually discerning if they were or not and that right there showcases that you've done a bad job. yes there were many moments in their relationship that came across as romantic, except for the fact that this is also a comedy show and when dealing with same-sex relationships often times two male characters are put in intimate situations for the sake of comedy. They are meant to come across as a couple and seem romantic as a joke because haha gay men are so funny.

So if anyone watched OK KO and assumed that they were both just heterosexual business partners I would not blame them in the slightest to be honest. the only inclination we got that either of them really wasn't heterosexual was Box man and his blatent attraction to venomous. that is a hard element to ignore but to be honest I could only be seeing that so clearly because I'm not straight and it's very likely that a straight audience didn't even pick up on that being romantic or sexual.

Venomous shows no real genuine moments of attraction to boxman that are totally indisputable. there are a couple of moments where you could argue that it was a visible sign of Attraction from venomous however you could just as easily argue that those moments were again meant to be comedic. The pie scene could easily be venomous just staring at boxman going Rambo and wondering what the hell is going on.

Yes there was an entire episode dedicated to showcasing the boxman venomous and their children became a family unit. That episode was also a Brady bunch parody that showcased some out of character moments for venomous all of which could easily have been taken as a joke.

Yes media is up for interpretation absolutely but if you're trying to have good representation of same-gender couples it should not be easy to ignore, it should not be easy to write off as a joke. really there should be no inclination that it's a joke at all but baby steps I guess.

Here's the thing though, yes before you bring it up I know there is a background couple of Joff and Nick two male characters who are admittedly quite clearly in a relationship it is hard to deny that fact and them being confirmed to be a couple really is no surprise at all. But I repeat, background, the only notable personality traits that either of them have is the fact that one is a Buddhist monk and the other is in action hero who likes to blow things up. This is not good this is scraps and if I'm being totally honest I would have preferred every single scene that they have together be replaced with a scene showcasing that boxman and venomous were romantically involved.

There is one scene where boxman and venomous hold hands again easily mistaken as a joke or at the very best showcasing that box man has an unrequited crush and venomous tolerates him enough to let him hold his hand. There really are no other situations where we see them being genuinely romantic, all things that could be interpreted as romantic but never anything that is actually explicit.

Conversely let us look at Venomous' ex-girlfriend Carol. Her relationship with another man gar, received quite a bit of development with gar having a very explicit crush on her and eventually confessing his feelings. The two are showcased kissing, they go on a date, they hold each other they hold hands they're very tender and loving and supportive. venomous and boxman are said to have gotten together around the same time so please tell me why there was no time in the series at all to showcase their relationship this way.

Now moving on to my core issue with how the transformation from shadowy venomous was actually handled. Everyone in the fandom was expecting either boxman or Fink to be the ones to bring venomous back. it's been shown that venomous struggles with imposter syndrome as well as a lot of other ways that he feels very inferior. His new family that he created with box man fink and the Box Bots literally work as a parallel to the family he could have had with Carol and KO.

Carol and KO make him feel inferior and like less of a man, while box man and Fink make him feel needed and wanted and like he is powerful and loved which is a core element of the turbo transformation feeling like you are unappreciated powerless and not loved. It comes from negative emotions predominantly helplessness.

So to have what was later to be revealed his boyfriend come to him and help him realize that he's loved and appreciated was a common theme amongst many fans we all thought that is where it was going. And that is not the case at all instead it was KO the estranged child of venomous literally several episodes earlier said he hated him.

Now you can easily make the argument that the show is about KO so he is the one who should save the day. I agree, want to know how he could have done it that way? It's established that one of the best abilities KO has is his empathy and his ability to talk to people and understand their emotions and help them work through them and find the best solution. He's a very empathetic and understanding child, so it was revealed that when Shadowy kicked boxman out of the company it was a breakup. Want to know what should have happened? KO should have talked to boxman about how much he loved venomous and how important they were to each other and how good they were together and give boxman the courage to confront shadowy.

Instead we got implied relationships, an apology cake which frankly venomous owes a lot more than just a cake, and wedding bands which can easily be interpreted as not being each other if you really want to go there.

at the end of the day I'm not saying on paper they are a bad couple, I love them I will always have a soft spot in my heart for this pairing because it's sweet however in practice we were given scraps. This wait until the last minute of a series to confirm a couple thing needs to stop the LGBT community deserves better.

If you're unsatisfied with the way it was portrayed and share any of my feelings, you are valid your feelings are valid and you cannot let people screaming about what great representation it is and how Ian JQ said gay rights stop you from feeling hurt. If you still love the show that's also totally understandable because I kind of do as well. it's okay to be frustrated it's okay to feel a little shafted and it's perfectly okay to be sick and tired of only getting scraps.

anyone trying to argue with this post is just going to get blocked because I'm tired and I don't want to argue about this.

[seyaryminamoto]

Did you outline the entirety of Gladiator or do you create new arcs as you go along?

Gladiator is by far the most complicated story I have ever plotted. I’m pretty sure it shows, but it’s been a large-scale mess that I’ve tried to put together to the best of my ability. So many threads to bring together, so much that needs to be addressed in a world where the Fire Nation has virtually won the war… so it’s been a very long process.

I’ve been working on this story for 6 years now. I think I can safely say, around this point in time, that I have all arcs and important plotlines planned out. And even then, I only finished planning out what the General of Ozai’s Imperial Guards has been doing behind Ozai’s back around a couple of weeks ago. 

I suppose it might sound insane, especially as I’ve always held on to some of my original ideas on where to take the story. I probably plotted the events from chapter 97 around two days into planning the story. I plotted the eventual Combustion Man confrontation since day 1, I believe? But as the scope of Gladiator is so big, it’s a whole complicated process of steering things along carefully towards the direction I want for the story.

It must have taken me over a year to know what was the actual route the story would take for Part 3. After a lot of input by a friend, which left me in a bit of a strange position briefly because, while I didn’t dislike the ideas, I didn’t know what to make of them right away either, I eventually glimpsed a better outcome than the ones I’d been toying with so far. Ever since I figured where we were headed, a lot of the worldbuilding and sideplots have been geared towards developing the world into what it will have to become for Part 3. Some things may feel irrelevant right now, I suppose, but ultimately they won’t be. Nearly all characters, new or old, canon or OCs, will have a part to play in the story’s future. I can only hope that Part 3 will indeed do the rest of the story justice, but I’m confident that it’s the best direction I could be choosing for Gladiator.

There were several arcs and storylines that I did come up with later down the line: for instance, Hahn’s involvement in the story has been a late-ish addition, even though he’s going to bring in an important element for Part 3 (and for Zhao’s motivations to conquer the north). There’s an arc in the navigator right now, the Gladiators and Sponsors Race event, and it’s also a relatively late addition to the story. Azula’s confirmation as Ozai’s heir was also a late addition, something I came up with probably a couple of months before writing the scene where Ozai tells Azula he wants to declare her his heir. Hell, this may even sound completely bonkers but Azula’s homeless people situation was something I came up with like… DAYS before writing it. That wasn’t planned beforehand AT ALL, even though it has become a pretty important wedge that drives Ozai and Azula apart (plus it gave me the excuse for Azula’s speech in the festivals and I am ever delighted I wrote that). As for Haru’s family’s arc, for a very long time I had planned for Tyro to be alive, but eventually I realized it might just make more sense if he wasn’t. It would hike up the stakes, and on top of that, it would give Azula the motivation to take action about slavery even if Ozai was going to shut her down. And what started in Haru’s family arc through Tyro’s death will have a huge impact on everything that will come in the Slave Riot arc, and everything that comes next.

So… it’s not a straightforward process. It’s more like going forward, then backtracking, then going further back and then modifying what’s ahead if the lead-up doesn’t fit…? There’s a lot of tinkering to do for plotlines to work, for characters to develop in the way they need to. It’s hard work… but I can’t deny I love tying up old arcs with new ones, showing that nearly nothing is inconsequential, and that as much as it’s a slow-going process, our two main leads are moving forward to change a world what direly needs people with their abilities and leadership to take a stand for what they truly believe in.

If you’re curious about what I’d been planning before my friend’s input helped me find a whole new direction for the entire story…

Sokka was going to become Ozai’s gladiator. Yeah. I have no idea how I went from “Ozai discovers them” to “Ozai hires the guy who destroyed his daughter’s virtue”, but I did indeed. And it made as little sense when I came up with it as it does now that I’m telling you about it.

Sokka and Azula weren’t going to have half as many romantic moments in Part 1 as they did. I actually had planned for the first chaotic kiss, and then they would stay perfectly professional and pining over each other hopelessly until 97. Haha. I sure overestimated my willpower AND theirs.

After 97, though, I didn’t use to have remotely as many plans as I do with Part 2 right now. I knew I didn’t want them to be caught right away, but I didn’t think I’d extend things as long as I have because I had virtually no idea of where we were headed and how to get there. I didn’t know what needed to be set up, and so, I didn’t know if there’d be any story to tell beyond “Ozai caught them”. So, I had assumed I would give them a few months of romantic bliss only to tear them apart shortly after.

Back when things were very nebulous and new, I wasn’t sure about aging up Aang despite I think my explanation for him being older isn’t all that absurd. So, initially he was going to be a little 12-year-old kid amongst a bunch of grown-ups. Even then, I wanted Zuko to go south but I had no idea HOW to get him there. At that point in time, Zutara was a possibility for the story. When I decided to age up Aang, and Suki became a larger player, I realized there was a much smoother possibility by pairing them up with different characters instead (and frankly, Zuko’s character development via Zuki has made me feel so much better about him that I am really, REALLY glad I picked the current storyline over this one).

Zuko was, at one point, going to become a gladiator. It’s something a lot of people asked for, so I, being the easily-swayed fool I was, thought it might be a good idea for him to be the Blue Spirit. I can’t remember who I came up with as a possible sponsor for him, maybe the fact that I couldn’t even come up with a sponsor is the true reason why I ditched this idea.

Katara was also going to be a gladiator: Azula’s. Yeah. After Ozai took Sokka, Katara was SOMEHOW going to end up in the Capital and Azula was going to hire her in some nonsensical bid to save Sokka from her father. Where’s the logic? I dunno, I’ve been wondering the same thing for the last 6 years.

I didn’t have any clue who was going to be Fire Lord, and I actually didn’t realize Azula was going to have every right and reason to be the one to inherit the throne until relatively later in the game. It sounds so dumb now, I’m sure, but for a time I had taken for granted Zuko would be Fire Lord (must be I subconsciously bought all his talk about his MANIFEST DESTINY…! until I didn’t :’DDD).

There really wasn’t going to be much of a war left to fight anymore. The White Lotus wasn’t going to have a particularly important role, and I had no intentions of bringing Ursa in until Yang’s story displeased me enough that I decided I had to tell my own take on Ursa’s disappearance, if just to put it out there. Anyhow, going back to the White Lotus subject, it meant that someone killing Ozai was going to be the only way to end the mess of the 100+ year war because I had zero confidence about writing big battle scenes (tbh I still don’t? but I’m still going to give it a shot).

Toph and Iroh were going to be largely irrelevant. I mean, now that I look back on it, their roles were merely going to be about antagonizing Sokka and Azula for as long as they could. I had no intentions to make them friends with Toph, and I didn’t really plan to feature Iroh in a particularly plot-relevant role until, well… :’D until the White Lotus attacked, oops.

Ultimately, everything was going to boil down to conflicts between the show’s core cast (and not even all of it, like I said Toph, Iroh and Suki weren’t particularly relevant all along), and OCs weren’t important in my plans at all. Poor Rui Shi only became relevant when I wrote chapter 7, I believe, and he first tried to defy Azula’s commands. Kino outright didn’t exist until… way past a year after I started the story. I literally came up with him after I went to bed and I forgot about him the next morning. I spent HOURS beating myself about remembering what I had come up with until he finally came to me again xD Side characters like Song, or even Shoji, were added mostly for the fun of bringing in familiar characters from the show at first. Eventually they gained relevance for reasons far more important than their brief appearances in the show, Song in particular.

My idea for Sokka and Azula getting back together in Part 3 was… probably a big reason why I didn’t feel comfortable with my general outlining back then. It’s not that it was TERRIBLE, but it didn’t make much sense for a dramatic reunion to take place when they would have, arguably, been living in the same Palace for a while if Ozai took Sokka as his gladiator :’D therefore, it was generally pretty anticlimactic, melodramatic, and I knew I needed something better than that.

I can’t remember much else of my early, scrapped plans. Virtually everything plot-related I’ve written up here is completley discarded now, which is why I feel free to disclose it all. Admittedly, this wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the reported original plans George R.R. Martin had for ASOIAF x’D but it’s not exactly good either. I’m glad that I allowed the outlining of the full plot to take as long as it had to until I had found the right direction for the story, else I would still be working with most this nonsense in mind and… Gladiator would be so much worse. I have no doubts it would be.

[dorkyungsoowrites]

I've basically fallen from. The face of the earth, I ended up doing construction full time??? It's awful 10/10 do not recommend. Have ghosted everyone and everything. I come back and peep but am a giant scaredy cat to interact. If you're still down I'd love to hear director's commentary about Fatal Ties?? 😭

It’s very flattering that you’re this interested in my writing. I already sent you a private message about the other parts of this ask so this is all commentary. I had way more to say than I thought but it was fascinating to re-visit these passages and realize some things I missed before, and just expose myself I guess haha.

Before I start this is one of two warnings. I hardly ever get to talk about my writing in depth so I’m going to be indulgent. In other words, this will be lengthy. I’m putting it all under a read more.

Fatal Ties Director’s Commentary

Chapter 1:

Firstly, I’ve edited this chapter on my own and it reads completely different now. No, I will not be posting the edited chapters here. I’ve change the pov and given each character a different name in order to make it a full, original mafia story. I have not gone back and read this story in months at this point though so the thoughts that spring to mind should be interesting/informative if not entertaining.Also of note real quick, there will be dark and less than savory topics mentioned; namely violence, child abuse, human trafficking, nonbinary erasure, drugs, and sexual violence. None ad nauseam, but they are themes strung throughout this story and I feel it’s important you’re warned before continuing. If you are sensitive to these or think you may be triggered please do not force yourself to read this. Most of it is in chapter 5, but still. That being said, it won’t be all doom and gloom so let’s just jump into it.

Typically I enjoy starting off a story with dialogue or an action. Here, it was dialogue. Baekhyun entering the Boss’ manor to meet them. I think the best starting point for a story is the inciting incident for the main plot-line. Many mainstream scripts are structured so you see what the main characters lives are like on the regular before the balance is upset, but in writing I feel that bogs down the first few chapters so I skip it. This is fanfiction for fun so who cares about setup. It’s Baekhyun. There’s an arranged marriage. You know the drill.

For “Fatal Ties” the Boss has been working on this truce for years, but the main plot of the telling is them actually meeting Baekhyun, and how that changes them as their relationship grows. The Boss doesn’t like the idea of marrying a stranger. Let alone someone from the rival syndicate. Who would? Baekhyun, as they find out rather quickly. He’s too amorous about it all. They don’t trust Baekhyun. They believe he’s a honeypot the other boss sent to spy on them. I mean, of course they think that. Baekhyun is clumsily flirting and overly flattering. Spitting compliments out excitedly at every turn even though it’s clear he knows nothing about them. Calling them princess and doll. They’ve worked too hard for too long, and sacrificed too much to suffer being mis-gendered in their own home by some immature idiot. They don’t suffer being looked down on or erased anymore. They will be recognized for who they are, and as an equal to every other mafia boss. 

Their rage boils inside them with every slip. The moment the Boss grabs Baekhyun’s collar is when I tried to set up how precarious this all is. That threat isn’t empty. The Boss will kill him and the rest of his family if this contract doesn’t work out. They’d rather just sign a contract though. Less work and no sloppy transition times as mentioned in the next chapter.

Speaking of which, this contract isn’t legally binding. It’s more an honor contract than anything. That’s why Baekhyun is there to marry the Boss. It’s really just another business deal to the Boss. That’s how real mafias joined their houses in the past. I made this more clear by adding this line to the Boss’ dialogue in the edit: “Also contracts in our…realm of business aren’t legally binding so it’s insurance. Symbolic more than anything, really, but that’s that.”

As a side note, I ended up doing far more research than I anticipated for this. Most of the knowledge I acquired hasn’t been utilized yet, but I refuse to think I wasted hours of my life reading business, money laundering and fraud law for nothing. Limited liability, shell corporations, deficits, ugh it’s giving me a headache just thinking about all the jargon I had to sift through.

Okay back to the thing. I made a conscious decision to describe the Boss’ manor as such. Their dad built up the drug business. They’re just tweaking it to be more profitable. It hasn’t been revealed yet, but their dad wanted to surround himself with expensive things to feel more important and successful since he started from near nothing. The Boss, on the other hand, doesn’t enjoy living in this big house. It’s too cold and empty. They want to live in a normal home further from the city and have their only worry be about if their garden is getting enough sunlight. A peaceful life. That won’t happen unless a truce is called between them and Baekhyun’s family. It truly means everything to them that this marriage go well.

Had someone tell me it was so satisfying when the Boss smashed that mug over Baekhyun’s head. That felt good. I figured that’s the first major tell of their character. They get annoyed at being mis-gendered and harassed, but instead of leaving or yelling or anything a regular person might do, they lash out with violence. They were raised in the mafia where mistakes were atoned with blood. You ever seen “John Wick 3”? Fucking love Keanu Reeves. Some of my favorite action movies. Anyway, sort of like that. The Boss has very little mercy in them. Or patience. Bad combination. But for good reason. Any small slip-up could result in life in prison, so yeah.

The other major tell of character was in what the Boss did right after. Cleaning up the broken mug. They take responsibility for what they knew was a mistake. They clean up their own mess. They immediately know to call for Yixing the doctor and calmly explain things to Baekhyun when he wakes up. I intentionally never had them say “sorry.” They admit they were wrong to hit him, but they don’t apologize. Even so, the moment Baekhyun sees a glimmer of a chance for approval from the Boss he jumps in to help cover it up. Knowing that if his parents found out they hit him any peace that might’ve been forming would be tenuous at best. More likely, his dad would take it as a personal attack and retaliate.

Then right at the end Baekhyun shows some kind of guilt and/or concern for causing their hand injury and it throws off the Boss’ instincts. Suddenly he’s willing to shoulder the blame and offering to help. Being respectful. A total flip from before. It makes the Boss harden their guard more. Proving he shouldn’t be trusted. Or, at least, they can’t entertain the possibility that he’s trustworthy. Not yet. Still, he’s saving them significant stress by lying to his parents about his head, so the Boss is much more gentle in turning him down before going to bed.

Chapter 2:

Despite what it looks like, this sex scene was not put in gratuitously. It’s very, very important setup for just about everything else, and it’s filled with foreshadowing. I knew it would be important to get a glimpse at the Boss’ secret affair in it’s normality before it got twisted a few chapters later. It shows a peek into the Boss’ hidden personal desires. They crave real affection. Their issues prevent them from actually believing that Kyungsoo loves them, but deep down they hope it’s true. They’re wary of entertaining those hopes however, because that means they could have a weakness for others to exploit. See literally any secret agent plot-line ever. The loved ones are threatened first and used as leverage for the villains. So the Boss denies that it’s anything more than physical.

I tried to convey the timeline a bit better later, but just so it’s clear Baekhyun meets the Boss three years after they’ve taken over from their dad. So Kyungsoo and them met back then and very painfully slowly the tension grew. I will admit to having fun imagining this bit in my own head just cause I love sexual tensions that build until they break and it’s this massive burst of passion. The Boss doing their best to keep everything professional, turning Kyungsoo down when he tried to talk to them, until finally they caved. Realizing after having a few conversations with him that, “fuck…I’ve liked him this whole time.” They’re around each other literally all the time. A bond had formed without them even noticing. Once it was noticed it took yet another year of Kyungsoo flirting and finding excuses to touch them, like, on the base of their spine, their hair, their hand, etc, before their will broke and they gave in. They’re both horrible at communicating it, but they do care for one another. Maybe at varying degrees, but they care. I hope that was made clear in this chapter.

Of note, Kyungsoo’s immediate hatred of Baekhyun, the fact he brought it up after the Boss had already switched off their brain to be submissive, the pet names he uses, the fact that the call for silence at the end is explained from the Boss’ perspective, and when he brings up the idea of wiping out Baekhyun’s family without a contract there’s this sentence: “He was back on this nonsense again.”

The theme here is control, if you didn’t notice. The Boss enjoying a space where they’re safe out of control, Kyungsoo trying to convince them not to give up sole control of their business by partnering, etc. That’s not all the foreshadowing, but I don’t want to make the plot too easy to predict by giving them away.

The last few paragraphs are the deep dive into the Boss’ motivations and reasoning. I think it’s also the second time Baekhyun’s family’s business is alluded to, but I’ll reveal that in a later chapter commentary when it’s possible for the reader to have deduced it on their own. It also shows in the last few lines where the Boss’ priorities are. The contract is number one. They will sacrifice everything for it. Even what may be their only chance at something close to love.

Chapter 3:

This is the second time I’ve written the main character eating eggs on toast. It’s delicious, and I lack the creativity to describe different foods. It’s just to pace the scene with actions because they’re eating instead of just sitting around. If one day my works are looked at by English professors they’ll probably say it symbolizes the Boss’ practical, fast-paced lifestyle. It doesn’t. I just like eggs on toast.

The fact Baekhyun doesn’t lie about snooping is the first big revealing thing showing that he doesn’t really want to. He doesn’t care about being caught because he just doesn’t care that much. He makes the remark about firing the guards posted outside his door as a joke. Ha-ha I walked around your house doing nothing with no supervision. He doesn’t realize how grave a mistake that was. He doesn’t realize that remark was the cause of two lives being ruined by the Boss. He will understand later because, as you learn later, he listens in on the Boss’ meeting with those guards via bug he put in their blazer. I have not written the effect of that yet, but it did affect Baekhyun. There’s a very clear butterfly effect from this one small choice.

Next he tries to get Kyungsoo to talk. He plays it off as trying to get to know the head of security. Needling the Boss to try and prove his hunch that it was Kyungsoo he heard them fucking the night before. I didn’t bother insinuating he had suspicions about anyone else because Baekhyun is smart and he knows that 1) Yixing is the only other person he’s met so far and that wasn’t his voice. 2) Kyungsoo is at the Boss’ side all day, and he hasn’t spoken around Baekhyun yet.

When he sees the Boss is about to leave he uses the name “kitten.” Baiting them by antagonizing them. Switching his tactics. The day before he had played up the whole “I’m here to do what you want” thing and now he’s realized he should be more domineering. He doesn’t always succeed because that’s not entirely in his nature, but here it sort of works to, as John Mulaney and JJ Bittenbinder would say, “throw them off their rhythm.”

I amuse myself by adding in little quirks to the Boss. Each time I describe a room it’s meant to be pictured immaculate and modern with everything in perpendicular lines. Showing that they’re a little peculiar about style and cleanliness. Anal retentive one might even say. All their clothes are tailored, most of them are suits, the mass of cabinets in the kitchen so the counters are clear, etc. Another side note, this is set in the 2000’s mostly for law reasons. Some didn’t exist until later which made what the Boss does near impossible to get away with, but I wanted cell phones and I’m picky about realism like that. So 2000’s decor. Black and white with pops of color in the decorations, chrome, clean finishes. I work in interior design so I was a little particular about some stuff for no reason other than my own amusement like the big kitchen with white countertops, and the blue and grey paisley wing-back chairs. When I edit this chapter I’m going to go into more detail on the rug though to give a clearer picture when the blood ruins it. Which really did cause the Boss dismay just like the bloody hand wrappings. For cleanliness but also they don’t like conducting business at home outside of paperwork and research. I thought it showed more about their character that they were upset over the bloody wrappings rather than the dead body and such.

My favorite part about writing the Boss’ character is how they’re constantly in a shade of darker grey. Everyone operates in shades of grey, but I love it when I see characters that are closer to the black and yet you’re still cheering for them. They’re morally corrupt and objectively not a good person, but you still like them. They’re still the hero, so to speak, of the story. That’s what I’m trying to achieve with the Boss. Back to “John Wick.” He’s a good example. So is Loki. They’re mass murderers, but we as an audience still love them because they feel like real people. Their motivations garner sympathy, and it’s their methods that are skewed. I love the challenge of threading that line between the Boss being the protagonist and villain simultaneously. Referring back to a line Kyungsoo had; they may need to be protected from themselves. Disney villain style I guess. Their actions cause their own doom. Not necessarily because the hero did anything. Gaston, Clayton, The Evil Queen, Frollo, Scar, etc, etc. You get it. I love that. That’s not giving away the ending, by the way. I don’t like following formulas too much. I honestly haven’t even decided on an ending yet. There’s lots of options. I’ll decide when I get there.

Anyway, this chapter was my attempt at showing more of that dark grey for the boss. They could have just as easily let the guards off with a warning, or broken a finger or something, but instead they went for the extreme. “Their offense was too great” as the chapter says. All they did was let Baekhyun out of his room, you might say. The Boss doesn’t see it that way. They don’t know what Baekhyun did unsupervised all night. But somehow he already found out about one of the few secrets that could topple everything out of balance. Their affair. Not that his family is sensitive over infidelity or anything, but it was what the Boss was afraid of; Kyungsoo being used against them. A weakness. Baekhyun found their weakness just like that, and they thought the reason was the guards letting him out. If Baekhyun hadn’t gotten restless legs, or just not teased the Boss about walking around that morning, they probably wouldn’t have checked the security footage, and those guards would’ve survived.

Instead, the Boss outright kills one and mutilates the other. Framing him so he’d go to prison. They enjoy taking out their frustration on the guard. In their mind he deserves it for being careless.

Had someone comment a reference to Yixing with the whole “act of kindness, act of cruelty. Balance” thing, but that was actually inspired by a scene in season 2 of Fargo. Although both people end up dying in that show. Love that show. Inspired this whole thing actually. I know I’ve mentioned that somewhere else before, but it’s true. It’s one of my favorites it’s so brilliant. I don’t think this will ever be up to par with that, but I’m okay with that.

Point being, consequences. Baekhyun’s choices had a ripple effect, and they continue past this chapter.

Chapter 4:

Obviously you find this out later, but Baekhyun was listening to the Boss and Kyungsoo on those headphones. Not music.

The Boss gives in to talking with Baekhyun in the car because they find it cute he’s acting like a puppy. Also because he might let something else slip. Oh, also, the line about them lying about nothing being wrong was them being worried about Baekhyun blabbering about their affair with Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun attempts to have a normal conversation, but it doesn’t stay that way for long. All the Boss can talk about is work. If you’ve ever watched “Hot Fuzz” I imagine this interaction playing something like the first day Nicholas and Danny are together. It’s not as sharp as in that movie, but the feeling of a less experienced person questioning this serious person with the least serious questions. Baekhyun sees this as a game or a movie more than something real and dangerous. He only heard the meeting in the last chapter, after all. He doesn’t realize yet that the gunshot killed that guard. He’s watched his mom get married to a mafia leader and live rich like an actress. He’s naive of the price it takes to stay comfortable like that. It’s still a movie where people are killed off screen and there are no major repercussions. Even in his answer about the knife he says he would kiss them as if it were some James Bond film.

I tried to make it clear, but just to spell it out, Baekhyun is the rival leader’s step-son. He has two step-brothers from the rival leaders’ two previous marriages–Minseok and Jongin. So he didn’t grow up in this dark, depraved world like these other characters. He was folded in at an older age. He’s more the black sheep of the family because he’s not blood related. That’s why he says he was happy to marry the Boss. But it’s still seeing through this movie lens. He doesn’t know what it really means to learn how to run a syndicate, and the Boss sees that. They scoff at him and can’t take him seriously.

At the meeting the reason the Boss wants to crack the mask of Minseok is to feel out his real personality. In their mind, every lawyer is an actor who writes a script before trial and reads it for an audience–the jury. They wanted to see Minseok when not acting. When they see he has a spine, oh buddy, they would’ve dropped Baekhyun for Minseok right then and there if it was their choice.

Oh, yeah, and they’re totally straight up manipulating Baekhyun. Using that nickname as faux affection. Letting his family think Baekhyun’s honeypot skills were working, and Baekhyun that his regular charm was getting them to like him.Baekhyun’s mom mentioning they operate hotels, yes, interesting. She’s also in fantasyland if you can tell. Planning their wedding as if they were in love and not out of business arrangement. She’s not naive to the real purpose of the meeting, but her focus and excitement is in the wedding which is why everyone’s just kind of letting her do all the planning.

The last thing I’ll say on this chapter is from part of my response to someone asking about the Boss’ goals. They want to gain customers, profit and influence. Expand their drug empire. It’s a smart business move. Simple as that. If you want more detail, then they want symbiosis. It’s a hassle having to work an underground drug ring when there’s cops, let alone another gang out for their blood. Getting Baekhyun’s family to stop the violence against their group and help is the only smart move in their eyes.

Chapter 5:

Oofda strap in this one gets real dark. This is the chapter most of those warnings at the beginning were for so feel free to skip to the next chapters commentary if you want.

Yes the lapel grab was an intentional mirror of the one Baekhyun did at breakfast in chapter two. Just felt like it. No special reason.

An extreme disconnect from human lives? Hotels? Even the Boss thinks it’s wrong? What the fuck does Baekhyun’s family do? Congrats if you’ve figured it out already. The major giveaway is in a bit though.

The whole, “I like things that are beautiful and strong” thing is a reference to a video game character named Zevran who’s a pansexual assassin and one of the loves of my life. Life-changing, that dialogue. Perfectly worded how my pansexuality felt. It meant a lot at the time so it’s stuck with me. When I edit this though I’m gonna change it around a bit. It’s too close to the actual game dialogue right now.

When the Boss retreats it’s because they felt breathless. They���re in denial about being afraid, but it’s cause they’ve never felt attraction like that before. Sincere fondness, and it went both ways. They actually felt something for Baekhyun. So they counteract it to the extreme and pretend to be emotionless and dismissive. To the point of being cruel when speaking about him to Kyungsoo as if he were a dog that needed to be locked in its kennel.

The throwing things is just Baekhyun being petty. He is angry, but not super mad. Enough to want to make the Boss hear his anger. Not enough to keep it up for long though.

More foreshadowing once Kyungsoo comes in. There’s been other stuff in between too. I like reading it and cackling in villainy because I know all the secrets.

Now let’s take a moment while reading the first part of this sex scene and just reflect on how Baekhyun is listening to everything happening.

…

…

…

Alright let’s continue. We stan a man who’s good at oral.

Okay sorry let’s actually continue. I’m delaying the inevitable here.

This section was hard to write, and I know it’s hard to read too, but it’s important to the story to have it described. Not only for awareness, as I have experienced something very similar and didn’t know what was wrong, or why I felt the way I did afterward, until much much later. But also because this is a major event that drastically changes how the Boss interacts with just about everyone, and their relationships. I know there are stories out there that use sexual violence as a plot device, and I’ve tried my best not to do that. I hope I’ve handled it with sensitivity and care. Being mindful of how certain things are worded and such. If you don’t take anything else away from this I do want you to know this: this is consensual. It is not rape. The Boss is just as confused about what happened as I’m sure some of you are. They’re deeply conflicted about it, but they push it down and ignore it at first. That’s the point. Shades of grey. Conflict. Revelation of characters. Okay, on with the rest of it.

The consent. The unreadable twinkle in his eye. If it wasn’t obvious, Kyungsoo gets off on having control over the Boss. This possessiveness is turning into a poison. Hearing that they want him unequivocally ends up being the toes hanging off the edge of the cliff before the plummet.

“He took what he wanted from you and you gave willingly.” That’s the line that explains why the Boss doesn’t do anything when Kyungsoo starts going too far with the pain levels. Gripping their thighs too hard. He already gave them the tension release and satisfaction. They were reciprocating, they thought. They felt safe with Kyungsoo. That’s why their trysts worked. They trusted Kyungsoo to keep them safe at all times. They could let go and not think, but for some reason that night turns out to be different.

When Kyungsoo screws his eyes shut, it’s the point of no return. No matter what they did from then on it would end the same way. He’s blocking out the expression on their face. He’s trying his damnest to focus on finishing. He’s lost control. As stated, some conflict is making him frustrated, and he’s taking it too far. He should have stopped, but something makes him keep going.

When they hold Kyungsoo closer, they’re in denial. And they’ll stay in denial that anything wrong had happened for a while. Kyungsoo slows at this point and there’s hope that he’ll come back to himself. He moves them into a more comfortable position and removes his hands from their bruising grip. Kissing their neck and chest even. The pain when he thrusts inside is more layover from the previous actions than rough treatment in that moment. They could still call the night rough play. Let’s call this the good timeline.

I still have so many emotions when his hand clamps tighter on their mouth and he mutters, “almost there.” The desperation and pain and guilt laced through his tone in my head breaks my heart a bit.

The Boss is not a fragile person. They’ve always been able to exert some amount of control in their life. But when they can’t stop Kyungsoo suddenly they feel helpless. The person they trusted is hurting them, and it’s not even malicious. They can’t even think through all the pain.

After Kyungsoo finishes neither of them have time to process what happened before Baekhyun screams. By the emotions flickering on Kyungsoo’s face though, it’s implied he knows he fucked up very, very badly and is experiencing clarity.

I really just added in the Baekhyun struggling with guards in his underwear thing for some levity in the transition between heavy things. He could’ve been dressed and just yelling from his doorway, sure, but that’s no fun.

Baekhyun ends up confessing to planting multiple listening devices after convincing the Boss to get Kyungsoo to leave. But instead of their first thought being one of anger or worry over leaked secrets, the Boss thinks about his confession. It’s the second time this chapter they’ve thought about Baekhyun in a positive light when there were more pressing matters.

“I know the difference between playing rough and abuse. I know what real pain sounds like. Trust me.“ And, "Kyungsoo is much more suited for working for my family. You know that right?” are the two biggest clues about what Baekhyun’s family does. Have you guessed yet? Locked in your answer? It’s prostitution and sex trafficking.

When Baekhyun says he was terrified hearing their screams it’s because he’s scarred from his step-dad’s "hotel business.” Saying that Kyungsoo is more suited for his family’s work implies things about his character that the Boss refuses to question. However Baekhyun crying is also out of relief that he didn’t find them more severely injured. With his family he was powerless to help the people they extorted and manipulated and took advantage of. He was able to do something here, though. He was able to scream and kick and call attention to it, even if he was a little late. He was able to help. Which is why he so readily agrees to get rid of the bugs to get the Boss to call Yixing.

Right before he leaves he contemplates trying to kiss them. His relief doesn’t overpower his smarts though, and he thinks better of it. I think the Boss would’ve called Yixing anyway, but they couldn’t pass up the opportunity to also get something from Baekhyun.

Chapter 6:

I am so…emotionally exhausted from that last chapter, but there’s not much left at this point so let’s finish.

Jongdae calling himself Greased Lightning. Just felt like referencing Grease that day I guess. Wanted a dumb code name no one actually uses.

Agh that should say white collar crime oops.

“I’d call you a genius, but I’m in the room.” Lazy reference to Sherlock. Should take it out.

“Opening him up balls to brain.” Honestly that’s just straight up out of Game of Thrones. I loved the line too much haha. Took inspiration from Petyr Baelish on the bit about killing an innocent man with the guilty one to throw off suspicion too.

I actually did math the figure out the dimensions of the tie grid cause I’m like that I guess.

Originally the Boss was gonna reward him by just spending more time with him, but after the…incident, they decided to teach him a bit too. They realized he was smart and amicable to change.

“They know, and they know when to bail” is actually a reference to Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood with something Olivier said up on the North wall.

The “there are plenty worse than you” realization hits a lot harder knowing his family does what they do. It still gets me reading that line. He’s been through so much.

Pretty self explanatory on why the Boss doesn’t give in to their desires about Baekhyun. He’s too submissive still. They want someone to challenge them. Baekhyun gives them a glimpse at the possibility he’s capable, but it disappears just as fast.

As I was describing the city they’re driving home from I was thinking of Chicago, but as someone who’s visited many major cities it could be any of them really. In my head it’s Northern California though, mostly because 1) there’s plenty of stories out there now about mafia in New York or Chicago or Las Vegas. 2) they have history with mafia in real life that moved up there from the L.A. areas. 3) lots of coastal cities up that way where Baekhyun’s family could be doing business. Let’s not even get into all the organized crime in San Francisco and San Jose. Of course for this fanfiction version it could be in South Korea who knows. I only know American law so that’s how I think in terms of writing the Boss avoiding cops and what-not.

The fact the chapter didn’t end with the ties being purchased should’ve been the warning that something bad was gonna happen. This chapter was going too well, and there’s still no major conflict. Enter gunmen.

Also side note, I always end up doing way more research than necessary on almost every story. Spent a few hours reading about and looking at videos of bulletproof cars being shot with different calibers and doing 180’s and stuff to more accurately write this chase. I just like doing research I suppose. Definitely love learning new things. I’ll go down several google deep dives on any given subject during a month. It’s fun learning new things. The last one I did was a deep dive into fashion in the 1700’s which I think I’ve decided to use in the next requested story. They didn’t ask for it to be historical, but now I want to write about elaborate dresses so there.

“It was lucky.” It wasn’t. I can’t explain why yet though.

Chapter 7:

Y'all ever experienced stitches before? The scars are hard to get rid of. Okay that’s my commentary on that.

Actually no. If Baekhyun had gone to a legitimate doctor they probably would’ve used glue so the scar would be faint, but mafia doctor. Okay moving on.

There are handguns that hold more than seven rounds, but I couldn’t pass up referencing “John Wick 2.”

“I don’t know. Were you thinking, ‘holy shit holy shit, I just almost got shot’?” is a reference to the movie “Get Smart.” Y'all seeing a pattern yet? haha. Mostly just wanted a joke there. It sprung to mind. Although I do have a few lists with lines or words that I’ve seen and written down to use later, then I try to work them in somehow. It’s a dangerous method. It’s breed whole chapters and stories before. But I have a horribly inconsistent memory. Gossamer is a good example. Saw that word used somewhere, went, “ooh I like that word”, wrote it in the list, then used it in this chapter. While we’re on writing technique, I also really love using alliteration to emphasize certain sentences or pretty-up descriptions. It started because I was writing a character that talks in prose and poetry, and he does that all the time, but I liked how it sounded so I just kinda kept doing it. That character is Cole from Dragon Age by the way.

The rest of this is just setting up the mystery. Who in the car was the target? Who was shooting? Who’s the mole? Is there even a mole, or is someone simply following them? Will Baekhyun keep pushing for answers? Will the Boss cause the trouble they’re trying to avoid by retreating inward? Will any of them get killed? How could Baekhyun’s decision near the beginning possibly butterfly more?

Interesting, yes, hm. Time for more sinister cackling.

[wavemaker9]

Firefly AU!Toni notes + some bits with kyle at the end

I think Toni definitely lied to Mel about his involvement with the war. This wasn’t something like Aus where oh it just never came up that I used to be a part of the alliance you never asked haha! Like when he first met her in the war, it was something he could kind of dismiss, just cite battles he fought in and they assumed it was on their side. But either before the war’s end or shortly after, some situation arising where he had to say to mel’s face that he had been fighting against the alliance the whole time. It wasn’t a dramatic thing I don’t think, like her accusing him of lying and him having to specifically lie to defend himself. I think it was just a casual conversation, her asking for clarification on something, maybe him mentioning without thinking at some point that he grew up on an allied planet and when she questions further, it leading to a point where he realizes okay she does actually believe that he’s always been fighting for the independent planets. And he either has to admit he was actually fighting with the alliance there for a bit or lie & confirm her beliefs. And he’s pretty good friends with Mel, he doesn’t want to lie to her, but he also figures she won’t take the truth too kindly, not at this point in their friendship, not after she already believes this lie about him, so after a moment’s hesitation, he laughs and tells some story about when he first entered the war, but changes up the details per what he saw serving as a browncoat so as to confirm yep yep, from the start i was on your side! Like i want toni to not have completely lied about being a browncoat where he never was one at all, and him actually fighting alongside Mel is a good thing to build their friendship and respect for each other on, but i also don’t want this to be something toni can try to sweep under the rug with a “technically i never /lied/ to you” excuse. No, he definitely did! He definitely, definitely lied to her and also did again and again later whenever it came up to anyone. 

God i remembered the apple story from war stories again and fucking. Okay but mel having a story like that. Not necessarily that, but something like it where she watched a lot of her fellow soldiers die in like some at least low level fucked up way from something alliance soldiers had done under the guise of kindness that actually turned fucked up. Now. toni /definitely/ being in the group of alliance soldiers who did that thing and going a touch pale when he first hears Mel tell the story from the other perspective. Mel even catching and asking based on his reaction if something similar happened to him, too. Him giving a shaky, hollow sort of chuckle, saying he remembers something like that happening, yes. 

Even if/when mel finds out about toni lying about his past in the war, i don’t know if she should ever find out about that. especially since like, idk maybe i’m wrong but i’d imagine she could move past just finding out he was alliance but swapped sides and then lied to her about it. It would take some time to rebuild the trust there a bit but eventually they’d work things out. but finding out he was specifically involved in a moment like that and knew but never told her would be. Rough for them to come back from? if even possible? I also just like that having to be something he holds in his chest forever.

I don’t even know if toni actively participated in it or was just there and didn’t stop any of them. If he didn’t stop them, it wasn’t like a “i’m too scared to speak up”, he just didn’t think about it, wasn’t in the mindset to think about it from the other side, few soldiers are. a lot of times, especially in a long lasting battle, you’re just trying to beat the other side, who cares how sometimes. I think he’d see the action the same either way because of that. Like literally if asked, his response would be “Does it really matter?” because like either way in his mind it’d be a shitty fucked up mistake he made that was pretty fucking lowdown and underhanded and he’s especially ashamed of it knowing it ended up being against his current friend.

Toni def had like shoulder length hair he wore in that ponytail look but cut it to the shorter length it’s at now. a part of me wants to say he cut it when he left the alliance as a symbolism thing, but a part of me also definitely wants to say it wasn’t until after the war and mel still teases him about it sometimes.

Even if he switched last minute just to end up joining the losing side, toni doesn’t really regret losing. He didn’t switch to win, he switched because he felt it was the right thing to do. He’s also pretty happy with where he ended up. The Oasis isn’t quite as sort of like. A pleasant agreeableness or as advanced a home as he had back as a part of the alliance, but he’s used to it and it’s comfortable in its own way. He likes being friends with Mel, values their relationship and is very grateful that they fought together during the war, that they still fight together now. Similarly, he’s met some good people being on the ship, like he didn’t like gil at first but now they’re like best friends and that never would have happened otherwise. He’s content with where his life is, and that’s all he can really ask for considering.

Besides Toni’s parents, has a brother. hey lemme preface this with i know very little about the hetalia historical relay between portugal and spain so like. this is just basing on very basic stuff from that and then what i wanted to build to fit the story i wanted to tell!

They didn’t get along too well growing up. They fought a lot, at first just as siblings tend to, but a bitterness kind of grew between the two as they each pursued their own interests and paths in life. Bro was nicknamed Port because he could fly very well and so made that into his job. before the war if you were looking for him, head to the nearest spaceport, he’s probably there heading out or coming in from a job. Toni learned a little how to fly from him and thus likely flew the oasis more than mel did before cian came on board.

I think during the war, port was pretending to be working with the alliance but was actually aiding the browncoats when able to. I’m not sure yet what the deciding factor was for toni to leave the alliance but it probably being related to that. Atm i’m fleshing out an idea of maybe port being found out by the alliance and needing an escape, setting aside his differences with toni to ask him for a final favor to help use toni’s ranking to help him slip under the radar to get away. Toni at first resisting, why risk his own title for a foolish mistake his brother did? But in the end it’s still his brother and it doesn’t take much to get toni to cave, promising help this one time. It’s risky, but they make it. Port tries to sway toni during the whole trip into joining him and helping fight against the alliance, and though some of the stories he gives chip away at toni’s resolve a little bit, he still seems determined to just be done with this and get back to his life. Again, i’m not sure exactly what’s the turning point, i just know that like. the reason toni supported the alliance at first was mainly he was genuinely just kinda clueless about these factors for why the independent planets were rebelling. but both sitting down and having to hear these details be explained to him + likely seeing some shit first hand while on the trip shakes a lot of those beliefs up for him.

I know that’s the last time he sees his brother, that i’m certain of. He gives his brother a final hug and wishes him well when asked a final time if he can’t join him. and then he drops Port off to find another ship to take him the rest of teh way he needs to go and he goes back into teh ship and heads off. A part of me says thinking more about it on his own on the flight back is the push toni needs and he just steals the ship and disappears, but a part of me also likes him making it back and trying to focus himself back to his normal way of thinking. Going into another battle or two thinking more and more about this, starting to realize it’s harder doing all this because he’s more aware of the other side as people wanting something rather than as enemies fighting something. and some final trigger in one of the fights being the final push. It being just a rough terrible battle near the end, so it’s not super easy but it’s not too hard for toni to find a small ship crashed with its pilot dead, stealing it, and taking off. There’s a belief he died in the battle, plenty of people did even if not all of them could be named officially. His family has at least assumed he died, and while Toni doesn’t know that for sure, he assumes they’ve assumed it and figures it’s probably for the best. I think it took longer but even Port eventually heard he died in the war and regrets to a point not being able to convince toni to leave off with him instead. 

Hey! What if the not-apples thing was part of the tipping point? Okay here’s a thing. Him definitely participating, but as part of his “i gotta get my head on straight” attempt. And then after the fact, him not able to stop thinking about it? I feel that still shouldn’t be the final moment. Either that battle getting really bad or him joining another battle that’s much worse and leaving during that one, but i kind of like it being like another step towards the final straw? Idk, i’ll probably eventually figure out something

Toni having been made a captain in the army before leaving the alliance? does not plan to tell anyone about this ever. I think he slipped up and mentioned it to like one person once, like gil. Included it as some detail in another story (“He says to me- he says, ‘Captain Fernandez, do you have any idea-?’” “Hold on, hold on, wait, when the hell were you a captain? Mel said you joined after her.”). Toni immediately waving it off as a mistake, though, hahaha, freudian slip he guesses, could you even imagine him as a captain? No thanks! corrects the story this time with a lower, more fitting rank as if it really was just a misspeak. Because he plays himself off as being careless like that a lot, Gil kind of lets it go. He’s still probably a little suspicious? especially as he’s gotten to know Toni more and realized the guy is not as obvious or clueless as he lets on, but he hasn’t brought it up to toni again yet.

Most kyles get temporary crushes on mels in an au and i want that to hold true for simply one reason. Before kyle eventually hooks up with ivan, him trying to lowkey woo mel. By which i mean lowkey for kyle, medium-to-highkey for everyone else. Toni catching him one night with some flowers he stole from austin’s garden to give to her (austin is so mad when he finds out) and toni is just so fucking amused? Trying very hard to fight a grin as he asks to confirm if kyle is trying to court their captain. Kyle suddenly feeling a little flustered like toni’s making fun of him, puffing out his chest and setting his shoulders back, fake cocky and asking yeah, why, toni jealous? And toni just fucking. Can’t fight it anymore, just starts laughing. Really loudly? Oh my god this kid is precious, i’m so glad we got him on this ship. Yeah! Yeah, Kyle, i’m jealous. I don’t even know if you were trying to say i was jealous of mel or jealous of you but sure, yep, you nailed it, got it in one! Kyle even more upset while toni heads off laughing, but definitely quiets down in the hall and doubles back. he can’t wait to see the kid try to get mel into bed with some fucking stolen flowers, oh this is going to be hilarious. Toni, please. 

When kyle and ivan do start flirting more with each other, toni even more amused? Teasingly asking kyle at some point if he’s planning to run through the whole ship or-? Should he be prepared for a late night visit from kyle soon too or will kyle be moving on to cian next instead~? Kyle immediately upset, grumbles out a ‘fuck you’ and starts to stomp away, before calling back at a still giggling toni ‘y’know, you fucking wish I’d stop by your room! Y’should be so fucking lucky’ which only gets toni to laugh harder again and tease again “oh absolutely! I’d be so honored! Y’know, I’ve actually been waiting up every night wondering when to expect you! I’m saving a bottle of wine and some very good candles just for the occasion” before just devolving into giggles again while kyle just fumes and stalks off. Worst fucking guy ever. The captain won’t mind if I kick her war buddy and second in command off the fucking ship next time we’re about to leave orbit, right? Right? Pretty sure. God, toni, just let the kid live, cmon. 

He’ll probably cook a nice meal for kyle later to make sure the kid knows he’s just teasing and he really is sorry if he genuinely hurt kyle’s feelings. it’s just so amusing in the moment he can’t help laughing.

ALTERNATIVELY TO THE FIRST! When kyle tries to pick up mel, mel realizing toni’s down the hall clearly expecting kyle to fail spectacularly and deciding to play it up a bit to fuck with him. Probably leans in close and whispers to kyle that toni’s there so play along! Kyle’d be a little upset at it being play if it weren’t for the fact that he and the captain are fucking helping each other prank the shit out of toni for being a jerk? he’s in! the two fake flirting with each other a bit before her inviting him into her room. Once the door is shut her kind of more honestly talking to kyle about him apparently being interested in her? and that idea eventually being talked down with kyle disappointed but understanding. Pro is that she just lets him hang around for a bit and they spend some time just talking and getting to know each other better until it’s late enough where it’d be reasonable for him to go under the act. Her knowing toni would come talk to her about it to confirm before mentioning it to anyone else, so her also adding before kyle leaves that he can shoot toni a few smug looks tomorrow if he wants to really fuck with him and she’ll just set toni straight whenever he does come talk to her. Listen, toni loves being sly about his shade/sarcasm all the time, it’s about time she got him back. what are friends for?

if cian’s religious too, that being something him and toni can bond on! also the two reacting to just how aggressively kyle is gnostic atheistic. kyle’s a bit more chill about it with cian than he is with toni since honorary uncle, but like. definitely hard rolls his eyes any time religious talk comes up. the one thing they probably like about austin more than kyle is that at least austin doesn’t throw how dumb he thinks your religious beliefs are in your face half the time. 

[miniatureclover]

Faraway Wanderers Reading Blog: Chapters 06-10

I AM BACK! Maybe I’ll be able to finish this live blog series before the live action comes out? Hopefully?

Chapter 6: The Beauty

Gu Xiang and Zhou Zishu are way too much together, ha. They also make a good team, surprisingly, even with Zhou Zishu having to bow out of the fight part way (throwing the same “poor fragile me” excuse Gu Xiang used right back at her…except he actually means it since the fool is literally dying a slow death by nails). He’s also a good teacher, and her a good student, and this really isn’t helping him lay low but ah well, I guess that flew out of the window once this whole mess started.

The fight scenes are pretty good, too. Gu Xiang is young and confident, but absolutely brutal and not afraid to use hidden weapons. She has good reflexes and instincts, though she is still young, and that’s reflected in her panic when she loses her weapon and getting overconfident. Contrast that with Zhou Zishu who is very observant and picks up some stones to help her out when he has to rest, and you can see the clear difference between them as people with two different experience levels. It’s really neat how the narrative manages to mix the characters’ life experiences, personality, and age into the way they fight without giving it away explicitly.

She blinked in astonishment — this ragged man’s ramblings worth diddlysquat, but his execution in battle was one of the cleanest and cruelest she had ever seen. It really made one wonder who he was.

Really throwing that image out the window. Guess it’s lucky he was nerfed by the nails, huh. And it turns out that our main character is also a rather brutal fighter, when he can fight without collapsing.

And here enters Wen Kexing, finally with a proper name! What an entrance. He’s already kind of a creep with no sense of personal boundaries, ha. He’s also really, really perceptive though. In a creepy way (who says “your shoulder blades are beautiful, therefore your face must also be beautiful”?? he’s such a ridiculous flirt).

Alas, we are left wondering whether Wen Kexing is really blinded by good looks or just very perceptive after Gu Xiang says that he has a tendency to exaggerate.

Chapter 7: Setting Off

Oh gosh, this poor boy. Protect him, he is precious. I’m talking about Zhang Chengling of course, who starts the chapter off crying because he has seen a lot of stuff go down, like his entire family dying to start things off, followed by people coming to kill him and a seemingly random beggar agreeing to deliver him somewhere safe? But, alas, might as well cry yourself a river while you’re at it, kid. It’s going to be a rough ride now that he’s stuck with this ragtag group.

Wen Kexing is such a clown. He has his wits about him, but he is such a clown with a punchable face. Zhou Zishu isn’t actually much better in terms of acting like a normal human being interacting with smaller human beings. At least Zhang Chengling is resilient. He bounces back quickly and continues to pester Zhou Zishu to become his teacher. He does still have nightmares, which makes sense after all he’s been through.

But he seems to remind Zhou Zishu of someone from his past, which is interesting.

Back to why Zhang Chengling is a precious bun and must be protected: after having nightmares and believing he’s woken his savior up, he says things like “I can…I can stop sleeping if it’s a problem?” That is not actually a legitimate solution to the problem, believe it or not.

Then some enemies arrive with a superpowered guqin/zither, which is hilarious no matter how many novels or dramas I encounter considering traditional guqin with silk strings aren’t very loud instruments (the description from the first sentence of the next chapter is right in that it’s more of a “thin” sound than other instruments).

Chapter 8: Moonshade

Wen Kexing is indeed an enigma, the perfect match for Zhou Zishu who is undoubtedly one himself. In between his moments of eccentricity, he provides a lot of insight to the martial arts world, the way he conveys the harshness of life in it striking a rather eerie note (Wen Kexing’s voice was gentle, “Even if he’s still alive, all of his meridians have been broken; he’s useless now. Death would be a happier fate for him.”) and slides right out of it a moment later.

This match also speaks to Zhou Zishu’s capabilities: injured, he managed to beat Qin Song who is apparently well-known for his ability to kill people with that zither, and with a crudely constructed flute at that.

He felt a particular aura from this man that suggested they might be birds of a feather, the other would definitely not do something if it didn’t benefit him. […] After lots of thoughts without any solid conclusions, he scoffed at himself — old habits died hard.

You two are indeed birds of a feather, glad you noticed. I do like how he slips back into old habits, after all, he only recently stepped away from his former life as a spymaster, it’d be difficult to put a stop to all of his old tendencies.

They even proceed to exchange a few moves, presumably to figure each other out, until the pesky nails driven into Zhou Zishu’s torso act up, which gives Wen Kexing an opportunity to be a creep and touch his face. Half of it makes sense, since he’s convinced Zhou Zishu is “a beauty” and hiding it somehow, but he seems the type to have done such a thing even without that reason.

This exchange is hilarious though:

-What’s my face made of? -Human skin. -It feels like it’s one with your body… -Well, I was born with it, so.

…I should hope so. These two are a comedy duo in their own right.

Gu Xiang continues to be a delight, in any case. She has no reserve about making smart comments as soon as Wen Kexing’s back is turned, probably knowing he can still hear her at a distance.

Finally, three days later, their little party manages to make it to Zhang Chengling’s father’s friend, but we’re only on chapter 8, which means there’s much more chaos to be had in their future. For now, Zhou Zishu is relieved he finished his self-imposed mission and gained some “merits”, but muses on how it’s exhausting to be good person, haha. Indeed, the world doesn’t make it easy sometimes, especially not the crazy martial arts world they live in.

Chapter 9: In the Woods

Name info-dump, I guarantee I will remember none of them. It does fill out the world and fits with Zhou Zishu’s character, since his job required him to know all the nitty-gritty details of the major players in the martial arts world.

Ultimately, the exposition serves to let us know why he decides stay in the manor for a bit, as he’s well aware that Zhao Jing and the rest of the people grouping up at his place aren’t as glamorous and gallant as they seem. Also, he’s already weak to Zhang Chengling’s puppy eyes, apparently.

Zhao Jing is catching onto the glaringly obvious hints at Zhou Zishu being far more than a random beggar, and his manipulation of Zhang Chengling’s eager to please nature might be a bad sign of what’s to come. Zhou Zishu is more than prepared for a little investigating into his real identity, and the deception runs deep enough that he has a whole fake history and job to go along with his name.

Zhou Zishu endures a round of social BS-ing, aka attempts to dig for information on him, which is explained in a really succinct manner: although the greetings and false praise are absolute bullshit and not genuine in the least, they do serve a purpose, which is to sort out who has relations with who, and who is an outsider to be wary of. It’s a good point. The boot-licking is a standard in the genre that emphasizes the importance of saving face and social relations. The author summed it up well.

After sitting through all that, Zhou Zishu decides he has stayed long enough and departs under the cover of night, except he can’t shake Wen Kexing off his tail, much to his annoyance.

I’ll admit, these two characters don’t draw me in quite as much as some of priest’s other protagonists, but their dialogue is a goldmine:

-“Escorting the young master Zhang is purely for gathering merits, so that I won’t have to endure any tortures in the Underworld after death. -“Correct, Brother Zhou truly shares the same mind with me; and as only beautiful people can do that, it is clear-” -“See, my dear soulmate, another chance for merit gathering has appeared.”

They continue bickering until they find a corpse in the forest, aaand this is where our plot kicks off!

Chapter 10: Netherworld

“Someone killed the Lord of Duan Jian Manor, and I’m a charitable person who wants to gather merits, so why not. And I’m bored anyway.”

Ha. And Zhou Zishu catches onto his BS right away, suggesting he might want to chase after Sun Ding because he’s the most powerful of the culprits who ran off. It’s hilarious how well-matched these two are, and how they just roll with each other’s ridiculous commentary.

Despite not wanting to get involved, Zhou Zishu can’t help it. His detective senses are tingling and he figures there’s nothing to lose since he’s a dead man walking.

However, their pursuit leads them to another dead body, and they take off after the person fleeing the crime scene until they reach a cemetery. Of course it’s a cemetery, haha. The person they were pursuing also disappears mysteriously. The whole scene is fit for a horror movie, complete with laughing animals.

Now, to be fair, and I’m not sure if this applies to owls, but some animals like foxes have truly terrifying vocalizations (one variation sounds like a screaming woman, for one). It’s no wonder people used to think demons and spirits existed. Unlike western depictions of the owl as a symbol of wisdom, among other things, in Chinese culture they’re apparently bad omens, at most used to ward off evil spirits.

Wen Kexing is so random and dramatic and loves to talk, haha. He tells a short story about owls being omens of death, then about locust trees being considered the door to the underworld. They really do find an underground cavern and river beneath the tombstone.

So! We have met our two main characters, become well-acquainted with their propensity to hide their true identities and incessant bickering when they’re together, and set the stage for solving a murder mystery. Decent progression for 10/78 chapters. I really love priest’s writing, which is always a delightful balance of pleasant and poetic description between good, distinctive dialogue and forward action to progress the story.

[workshop-at-mahoutokoro]

Pacific Rim Liveblog Thoughts

I watched Pacific Rim for the first time (yeah, I know) and told the mod of themonsterblogofmonsters that I’d liveblog/give my reactions so here they are.

-I’ll talk about the film in roughly 25 minute chunks.

0:00:00-0:25:00

This film is everything you could ever hope for in a mecha series. It’s quite fun to note all the mecha tropes and plot lines used because this movie executes them so damn well. I know I’ve heard of piloting systems like the one in PR, drifting, but the only one I can think of at the moment is Buddy Complex, which actually premiered in 2013, too. Well. PR’s drifting system is everything I wanted Buddy Complex’s to be. BC was a mess lol.

I’m not well-versed in music and soundtracks, but this one is awesome and memorable, even within the first 10 minutes or so. It’s definitely not one of those shows where you forget the entire soundtrack two minutes after you finish watching.

There were a lot of amusing little gems scattered here and there like: -The Jaeger pilots being like celebrities in the early years. Very realistic and reminds me that I have to watch Tiger & Bunny sometime (the non-Netflix version lol). -The kaiju, as living things, actually adapted to fight against the Jaegers and their pilots. I liked that. -The gallows humor: bad news is, we lost 3 guys; good news is, we have 3  job openings! -“I’m guessing that I wasn’t your first choice” -> you were his first choice! and his only choice! because all the rest are dead! well that was inspiring -Somehow, this woman is standing in front of a helicopter holding an umbrella and the umbrella manages to stay in perfect form. literally the most unrealistic part of the movie xD -Japanese!

0:25:00-0:50:00

Lots of stuff happened in this one. The pacing is excellent- we get through SO MUCH content but it doesn’t feel too rushed. It lingers on certain characters/scenes just long enough so to leave an impact and let it sink in, but it doesn’t belabor any particular conversation or interaction. That’s quite rare in a movie as fast paced as this one.

It was probably also really tricky to pull off the connection between Raleigh and Mako. They meet and bond within these 25 minutes, plus we have other characters who need a few scenes to progress the “kaiju brain” side plot. It really worked though? I think, by having them reach a sort of mutual understanding and not go at each other’s throats right from their first meeting, it makes it easier for them to get to the point where they’re compatible.

Glad they didn’t unnecessarily build tension between them for the drama.

-These two scientists/researchers are hilarious. -YES, let’s just merge our brains with a monster one. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG. -AND it worked! Sort of. Also seemed to be causing a seizure but.

0:50:00-1:15:00

Some more good character development here. I really like how Raleigh and Mako are on the same page, before and after the drift. Again, the story pauses a bit to build tension or connections between characters without lingering too long on one or the other.

I also appreciate how mature the characters are- which would make sense, they’re adults, but that’s not always the case and something that annoys me in other shows/movies/etc. Raleigh certainly tries to convince his boss to hear him out, but after he gave it his all, he does back down for the time being.

Also, there’s no pointless blaming of other parties here for the drama. Raleigh and Mako obviously don’t blame the other for things going south. And at least you can understand why that hotheaded other pilot is angry at them. If they can’t even safely move the Jaeger around in the hangar and have everything under control in a non-combat situation, would you really trust them to have your back when it comes to the real thing? His role is basically to be a sitting duck carrying a nuclear weapon.

-WHY WOULD YOU NOT DISABLE THE PLASMA CANNON?? THIS IS A TEST RUN. -“would you like to try again?” how ‘bout no we nearly all blew up thanks helpful computer lady -“you goddamn moron” <- everyone’s thoughts except the mad scientists guy exactly -You would think they would have figured out a way to deal with the tails smacking or impaling them from behind by now but apparently not. Also a quicker way of killing them aside from beating their heads in with metal fists. -welp, that’s two down. -On a side note, I really like how the water resistance is shown? It’s just neat to see the weight of all their movements, and how the kaiju, like normal animals, are more suited to move quickly through it. -The reactor blowing up couldn’t even act as a suicide bomb though, that’s sad. -lol THE KAIJU HAVE JAMMERS never thought I’d see that on one of them.

1:15:00-1:40:00

Lots of action in this part, so not much to say aside from my reactions.

-So. Uh. If it doesn’t move and doesn’t smell human, you might not need to destroy it? Is that how they work? Kinda funny how it just stops and sniffs them when they run out of power. -At least they ended up on land? Being in the water really slows the damn machines down. -I STILL THINK YOU NEED SOMETHING A LITTLE BETTER THAN A FIST AND A FEW MISSILES. Ok. that’s better. -YES. SMART. Bring a weapon! Why did no one think of this before. Granted he brought a ship but you know. Better than nothing. -whoops flying mecha. -Excuse me. if you had a sword. why didn’t you try to use it earlier. before you got carried 50,000 ft in the sky. -I thought you had to be compatible with the person you’re piloting with? Can you just randomly replace someone?

1:40:00-end

I really like how they gave the side characters scenes to expand upon them and didn’t just shaft them in favor of the main characters. I guess it worked because Raleigh and Mako got along from the start, so they didn’t need to waste time developing unnecessary drama with them.

Also, I always appreciate a movie that doesn’t place an inconvenient sappy kiss moment at the most crucial part of the mission/action. They saved the happy hugging moment until after everything was done! And notably they didn’t kiss? What miracle is this? Instead we got a really heartfelt hug and that honestly had more emotional impact than if they would have kissed. I really wish this happened more often.

-Ah. That explains the drift compatibility thing. -Underwater is a terrible place to be moving those clunky things omg. They move even slower than on land. -OH GREAT IT HAS TENTACLES. -How is that damn thing still alive?? -lol of course it’s up to manual detonation. -Did we figure out how to get past decompression sickness in this movie? xD -lol damn that guy survived? No one even tried to get him out haha.

Overall: This movie just blew me away. It’s phenomenal, not a single thing truly frustrated me like when I usually watch these sorts of movies.

[khea]

From a panga off the coast of La Paz

There was a time in my childhood when all I wanted to be was a marine biologist. One of my most prized possessions were a set of flashcards or something of the like that had pictures of individual animal species on one side and information about them on the other, and I was convinced that one day I’d have a career in species conservation. That dream, clearly never worked out :p But even though I’m past the days of wishing Steve Irwin would adopt me as an honorary family member (RIP, hero), there’s still no ecosystem I cherish more than the ocean and no set of people I envy more than those who get to spend their time in the sea day in and day out, studying or working to protect it and the creatures within it.

      Ian and I went on vacation last month to the Baja Peninsula and, given everything I wrote above, I of course made it an absolute on this trip that we had to swim with the whale sharks before they left Mexico’s Gulf of California for the season. This area is so rich in biodiversity Jacques Cousteau even called it the “aquarium of the world,” and we were so lucky to explore the Sea of Cortez with a guide who embodies what it means to respect an environment this special. Anna’s spent years taking small groups out to encounter whale sharks, and everyone she meets, she teaches them how to respect these creatures, about their behaviors, how they’re now officially deemed endangered by the IUCN, even down to what kind of sunscreen we should all be wearing when we swim in oceans (biodegradable and oxybenzone-free, for the sake of our coral reefs). Badass that she was, she also fiercely called out boats and dinghies we encountered on our trip that were potentially harmful and clearly unlicensed to operate in those waters.

      Though it took us a bit of time to spot a shark, when we finally took the plunge with one, it was a heart-stopping experience unlike any other. So lucky. So humbled. And to know I did this in the wild, in their territory, was everything I needed to be reminded of how small we are in the world, and because lest we continue supporting “animal encounters” in ocean theme parks and pathetic concrete-walled excuses for “natural habitats.”

      Needless to say, I can now see how hard it is to develop real, honest respect and understanding of the grandeur of the ocean and its residents until one gets in the water and experiences what it has to offer. Even on a boat, we’re still one step removed. But when you take the plunge, and get close enough to look something like the world’s largest shark in the eye, my God do you feel otherworldly, and even more so do you wonder how anyone in the world could possibly dare harm creatures as majestic as these.

      Reality, of course, is that they’re endangered for a reason, and that there are pockets of people who do dare and even make a living out of harming them. Coming back from this trip, I was reminded real hard about a documentary that’s near and dear to me—Louie Psihoyos’ Racing Extinction. In 2015, I had the opportunity to intern with Discovery, right around the time Discovery Channel was due to launch Racing Extinction. If you watch the doc (which you should to do yourself a favor), you’ll remember the part where Louie’s team projects stellar photographs of animals onto landmarks like the Empire State Building, and I remember vividly getting the email at work announcing the project and feeling so proud to be (even the least bit) associated with an entity I believe so much in.

      The documentary goes deep into the illegal shark trade still present in East Asia and the harvesting of manta rays in Lamakera, Indonesia, among others. The Lamakera case, especially, hits home not only because it’s happening in my ‘backyard,’ but because it sheds light on human acts of killing species not for the sake of killing that we can so easily deem cruel and gratuitous, but for the sake of their livelihood, which ends up posing the case as more complex and challenging than I was used to. The filmmakers learn that fishing for and exporting manta rays were the only way people knew how to make a living in this remote area, and the villagers make a valid point that if conservationists from afar traipse in to try and get them to stop, they’re going to have to offer an alternative means of feeding entire families and sending kids to school. We also come to terms that these fishermen aren’t antagonists. That they’re aware if they overfish, there will come a day when their children won’t get to experience the beauty of these rays in the flesh. They’d probably grieve before the rest of us do.

      You’ll know when you watch that it’s heartbreaking, but the more important takeaway from the documentary is that we’re deeply rooted in the desire to protect—and that we can educate each other on how. That’s not a cheesy throwaway line; let it sink in. Societies like Lamakera aren’t backwards, but they are likely going through growing pains, just like developed communities did before they eventually thrived. Which brings me back to the Sea of Cortez, where fishermen off the coast of Mexico turned what was a hunting culture into a tourism culture, when steps were taken to educate and improve infrastructure that allowed them to discover that they yielded more income taking visitors out on eco-conscious tours to see the whale sharks than hunting for them. “Simple economics,” according to Psihoyos. And having literally experienced the benefits of this positive shift, it’s clear as day.

      To be honest, I haven’t come to terms about what the purpose of this post really is haha. It’s half a way for me to remind myself how eye-opening and plain f-ing awesome the whale shark experience was, and half a very convoluted way of saying how I adore mediums that allow me to learn about causes I care about. As a collective, there’s so many of us who don’t mobilize for change because we still find it hard to empathize and wrap our heads around why we should (great example here courtesy of Vox), but Racing Extinction reminds me that the more we figure out human behavior, the more we tap into ways to spur people into action, be it through the power of photography or ‘gamifying’ your electric bill (both of which were covered in the documentary). It also introduced me to people like Leilani Münter, which if you look her up, will understand why she basically embodies everything I love; race car-driver-slash-environmental-activist? As in she harmonizes two of my favorite, seemingly incongruous worlds like a boss? Can I be her?

      To that end, today’s a good a day as any to begin to move the needle. I’m probably not gonna go and try and clone myself into Leilani Münter but I do have aspirations to use what I’m good at and passionate about skill-wise to eventually create something that circles back to the protection of our planet and the species that roam it. Maybe come back to me in a couple years to see how that’s going. By that time, I hope I have something to brag about, including some more whale shark encounters because Lord knows I’ll want to do that again.

[takecourageandkuwait]

A While In Dog Years...

Whaddup yo!

     I’m not gonna lie, as I sit here nostalgically listening to Green Day’s American Idiot album, I can’t help but think that it’s been a while since we’ve talked. Honestly, I actually prefer it that way. I realize that the communication has been a pretty big disappointment from my promise of “weekly blog update”, but it’s okay because....well....Jesus! haha  But seriously, as soon as I got here, God told me to keep it pretty exclusive between Him and I for a while (with the exception of a few people). Try to imagine it like Jedi training, but, you know...with Jesus. Don’t worry though, I still have my emotions, my mind, and I’m not dead or on fire, so I’m pretty peachy considering! Anyway, let’s go ahead and jump right into this. And don’t worry, it’s not gonna be one of those suuuuuper long blogs because I have two months to catch you up on. It’ll be about the same length as the others. Also, kind of on an unrelated note, the time here is going be so freaking fast! it’s crazy! Anyway, jumping right in...

Mission Himpossible

     I like to think that the opportunity here has been pretty unique. Think about it, beside the fact that I get paid a butt-ton to sit around and talk to people all day, there is really no better place to share the Gospel with Marines than being with them on deployment. I mean, this totally goes against what Jesus did, because when He came down to earth He waited for everyone to come to Him.... ....SIKE! Uh, yeah right! He went out! He didn’t wait for the people to come to Him, He met them where they were at. Another good thing is that I truly enjoy what the Marine Corps has to offer, so it makes it a little easier. I’ve had a lot of really good conversations while being over here. I’ve shared the Gospel with all of my co-workers and shared the Gospel with someone who would later become a really good friend of mine. I could not have asked for a better place to be. I get to be in contact with (literally) hundreds of Marines while I’m here, and each time I greet one, I try to show them the love of Jesus through my actions. Most of them are going to pretty tough places (Iraq or Afghanistan), so showing them that someone truly cares about them before they leave is pretty cool. One of the first conversations that God and I had when I got here was the why I was here anyway. We went back and forth, but the basics of what He told me were this: “Paul, you have a very unique opportunity to be a missionary for Me and reach those in the Marine Corps. This is less of a deployment, and more of an opportunity for you to get some missionary experience and grow closer to Me because of it.” So, viewing this deployment as a mission opportunity (rather than spending 6 months in a combat zone of boredom and too much alone time) has really opened up a lot of growth in my heart. Now, let’s get to that...

Easy, Medium, Heart

     The heart is a very interesting thing. It’s the most valuable thing that people have to offer, yet, it’s probably the most under-developed part of a person’s character. There are different parts of the heart as well, and some parts are more developed than others, making it unbalanced and unhealthy. Imagine someone’s heart being a person. The arms are their pride and humility, the legs are your discipline and responsibility, your torso is your communication with yourself and others, and your heart of your heart is your soul and identity. Obviously, there are more points to a person’s heart, but for the sake of this blog, we’re going to use these. Now, with these examples, let’s (very, very briefly) break down each part, first with the arms. Arms: See, a lot of people think that you can’t be proud of anything. But you definitely can. However (<---and that’s a BIG however), if it’s not balanced with humility, then you end up thinking that your accomplishments are what make you who you are and that you don’t need anyone’s help with anything, and you can never apologize for hurting anyone or messing up. If you imagine pride as biceps, then it’ll be hard for people to take any advice from you on humility (triceps) when you only work on your humility so that you can tell people how humble you are. Basically, you post on Facebook that you’re working triceps today, but you get to the gym and actually work biceps. Legs: I can’t stress this enough...DO. NOT. SKIP. LEG. DAY. Leg day is a pretty important role in your overall workout routine and is actually really good for you because your body pumps more blood to your increasing leg size, which gives more blood flow to the rest of your body. Legs in the case of discipline and responsibility is equally as important for the rest of your life. Without discipline, you don’t brush your teeth at night, or do laundry, or pay bills on time, or heck, even go to work on time, or even heckier heck, don’t go to work at all! If you always skip leg day, it’s not too late to work that muscle! Torso: You don’t want a giant back and a tiny chest and no abs. Your back in this case is you talking about yourself all the time, and your chest and abs are how you communicate with others. Most people really don’t care what you have to say about yourself. Why? Because they want time to talk about themselves. If you can learn to genuinely listen to others for understanding rather than waiting for a moment where you can speak and talk more, your chest and abs will get bigger.  Heart: This is your identity. Now, in some people’s hearts are fraternities or sororities, some people have old high school state championship football trophies, some have abuse and pain, some have another person, some have their bodies. Unfortunately, you can’t really “work” this one per se, but, you can definitely re-enforce it and replace it. Now, the important thing is this: You don’t want to put your identity in something that can fade away. ‘Well, what the heck Paul? Doesn’t everything fade away eventually?” and you’re right....EXCEPT ONE THING SUCKA! DAS MY BOI JESUS! HOLLA! There’s a lot here, and I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t think it was going to take up that much space, but it did. Anyway, I’m basically saying all this to say that God has very graciously shown me a mirror into my own heart and I’ve seen just how imbalanced and unhealthy I actually am. I thought I was good, but there is a lot that I need to work on. At first I was a little shocked and overwhelmed, but God said, “Don’t worry. I am with You.”

Smoking that MJ

     So really quickly, there’s this girl here, and her last name is Minjarezsugich, but we just call her MJ. She’s become a really close friend here and we’ve had a lot of really good conversations about spiritual things, life things, and, most importantly, Jesus things. I’ve shared the Gospel with her (the bridge illustration), and she seemed pretty receptive but still trying to figure everything out. Please pray for her. Please, please pray for her. I would say that if you only had time to pray for either me or her, please forget about me and pray for her. 

Please excuse the tardiness of this e-mail

     See, the heading is funny because I sent that same sentence this morning haha Anyway, Things are going well here. I’m digging the alone time I’m getting and maaayyyybbbbeeee I’ll try and get another blog out to y’all at some point in the next month, but we’ll see.  God bless, Paul  P.S. I just remembered that ‘fat’ could be another heart-body-thing, which would just be the world. If you have a lot of ‘fat’ then it’ll take time for that to come off, but it still will. A healthy amount of ‘fat’ is good though (more for seeing a different perspective through the eyes of the people you’re trying to reach). Anyway, that’s just real short.  Verses memorized this past two months: - Would you believe me if I told you none? Hahaha...haha..*gulp* Prayer requests:- MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ MJ x1000- Did I mention MJ?