#kiryu (especially at that point) is just a big child at heart in his own way- probably more than daigo was ever really allowed to be-

[designernishiki]

it really means the world to me that little 12 year old daigo mentions that kiryu used to hang out with him a lot, meaning a teenage kiryu (and likely a teenage nishiki as well) basically babysat an even younger daigo on the reg for some amount of time. i wonder what shenanigans they got up to

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Oh gosh i literally LOVE your analysis thank you. And what about Majima??

Awww, thank you very much ^^; I’ve been having a good time writing these, I”m glad people are enjoying them. And everybody’s free to ask for seconds too, if interested. *breathes deep* Hoo boy, you pulling out the big guns there. Okay lads, settle down, it’ll be awhile. 

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

I would give my life for Majima Goro. But I won’t because that would trigger him to fuck and back. Best boy, golden son, I am mad fucked up about him. I don’t even have time to explain all my feelings about Majima fucking Goro. You can tell because I can’t go a single fucking post without mentioning him. *whispers* I love him. 

ship with: Y’know how sometimes things are popular and you don’t get why? This is not one of those times. It’s cliche, but Kiryu Kazuma is the popular option here For A Reason. Like, I started Zero not knowing a fucking thing about Yakuza, as I think many do. And I wasn’t at all sure how Majima and Kiryu were going to be with each other, I had heard that they were the going ship and that seemed legit enough. Kiryu’s a nice boy, Majima’s a nice boy, they’d probably get on. But you make it through Zero and they don’t meet, not even once. They vaguely hear about each other and if they thought enough about it, they’d probably figure out that each other was holding the other half of their story, but there’s only that 5 second meeting in the epilogue, after the entire game is already fucking over and... Oh Shit. 

That, my many gendered gentry, was an imprinting in live time. 

But first, let’s back up a second, because I bet you’re all wondering about the Other important love in Majima’s life. So Makoto, Makoto... As I discussed in my Saejima post, after Anagura, Majima is living to die. That’s it, that’s his only goal in life, to get back into Tojo and wait there so his brother knows where to find him when he comes to kill him. He’s not looking for any other attachments in life. Because that’s the way Majima loves, body and soul, his whole existence dedicated around one thing. And he’s already signed himself up for sacrificing himself as repayment for Saejima’s sins and wasted years in prison. But then this... tragedy happens. This hit that isn’t a hit, this villain that’s really a victim. Everything goes wrong and Majima is left with do I commit the unthinkable to shorten my wait for my brother or do I forgo my brother’s rightful revenge to save this innocent? And Majima can’t. He can’t. 

He could never kill and he can’t turn his back on someone who needs help. And she does need him, specifically, there’s no one else. Anyone else couldn’t be trusted, or if they can be trusted, they’re dead. Majima is the only person he and Makoto can trust so he’s just here, doing his best, trying to keep her alive in the face of everything he wants and all the power and hate the underworld of Japan can offer. He would sacrifice his one goal of staying alive for his brother if it means keeping Makoto safe. Is that love? Oh yes, but not the livable kind. You don’t come back from that kind of dedication. Majima loves Makoto as gods love: completely. It is without judgment and without reason. That’s not the love of one finite person to another finite person, admitting, exploring, and cherishing all the flaws and limits therein, it’s not even the love of a parent to a child or vice versa. It is infinite love, all-consuming and all-destroying. It is not cognizant of personality, worthiness, or risk. It just is. In many ways, Majima does not know Makoto, he doesn’t see her, neither, ironically, does she see him. These are not two equals of mutual interest enjoying who each other is. This is a far less personal and far more profound experience. It’s like a calling, a quest. And it’s not something a stable relationship can be built on because it doesn’t actually have anything to do with who Makoto is in her day-to-day life or who Majima is in his embodied, finite experience. This is love as a philosophical point, as a moral decision. 

It is the greatest thing I’ve seen in my life that he lets her go. That sort of love will destroy you if you let it, it crushes your existence, your personality and sense of self, entirely into that of another. And you can’t live as a part of someone else, you cannot actually live for someone else, not sustainably, no matter how badly you want to. It’s the strongest thing I’ve ever seen done that Majima has the power to walk away from her and walk away from that sweet, blinding death. To choose a finite, flawed, embodied, but his own individual existence rather than let himself be consumed in an idea. And that they walk away from each other where they can both survive it. Where the idea of what was and what might have been doesn’t drive them into despair of all earthly, finite joys. Because who would choose to have a normal, dirty, working life where you are required each day to be an individual with your own wants and desires that are spurned and rewarded by turns of luck rather than the pure, golden existence of perfect moral agape? And I’m so glad that they walked away before they could be blinded by it, again, ironically enough. 

But the fact that Majima is capable of that level of love is truly terrifying. And then how fascinating that he walks away from it. That he chooses a harder, darker life that will have the normal range of joys and disappointments. The restraint it takes. The incredible, unbending sense of self and to decide that there are selfish, individual things worth caring about, even if you had the chance to become selfless for the rest of your life. I don’t think we talk about or think about that Majima walking away there was a moral choice. He wasn’t walking away from happiness, he was walking towards a different happiness. And, most importantly of all, even though he is still waiting to be killed by his brother, the fact that he walked away means that Majima is much healthier and much less self-destructive than he was at the beginning of Zero. He could have escaped it all if he went with her. But he doesn’t. And that fucking blows my mind.

I love that Majima grows after Zero. That his absolute nihilism changes as he allows himself to care about people again, maybe even care about himself again. Especially after Shimano’s death, he starts to develop relationships and things that he cares about as soon as it is safe to do so. He decides that he isn’t going to waste away waiting for his brother, he will live in this time, even if it has an expiration date. He will build something he cares about. And I think, in no small part, knowing Kiryu gives him the courage and the will to do so.

Because Kiryu is this shooting star in the dark night of Majima’s world. He is this mighty pillar standing amidst slag and waste. Kiryu does things that are right because they are right, with no thought to his own gain or risk. Kiryu does things that are right at tremendous personal risk and will fight through people trying to stop him. And Kiryu will win. Not only does Kiryu agree with the way Majima thinks and feels but, mother of god, eh actually has the power and strength to survive. 

Think about that. You’re Majima Goro and every day since you became yakuza, you have been kicked down, tortured, and abused just because you wanted to do the right thing. You have watched countless friends, allies, and enemies be shot and killed in front of you because they were trying to do the right thing. You have no choice but to do right in the secret places of your heart, to do good only in ways that can never be traced back to you, in ways no one would confuse for being good, kind things. Because it will get you killed, or worse, it will get the people around you killed. It’s not paranoia, you’ve seen it happen, your nightmares are filled to the brim with the blood and horror or good people dying just because they were good and it’s your fault, it’s all your fault because you didn’t warn them, you let them get close, you let them see you were a good person and you can NEVER. EVER. let that happen to anyone again. 

And then there’s Kiryu. Stupid, mutton-headed freak with the arms of a lumberjack and a heart as white as lilies. He’ll be dead tomorrow, you know it. He’s too good, he’s too kind, and he’s not afraid. He’s not damn near afraid enough. He has no idea what’s waiting out there to snap him to pieces. But he’s there tomorrow. Not even a scratch on him, still standing, still strong. You try to warn him, you try to beat him in a way he can survive so that he learns to never try to be good again. But he beats you. He actually fucking beats you and what the fuck are you supposed to do with that? He’ll still die anyway, there’s no way he’ll live where so many have been slaughtered. And he’s still there tomorrow. You pester him, you follow him, you watch him closely, to see what he does, who he is, how is it he’s still alive? It must be some trick, he’s either not as good as you think he is or not as strong or, or... something! Because it’s impossible, it’s impossible that anyone could, that anyone could... 

And he smiles. He smiles at you, like he can see right down to that tiny, beating, pure heart you’re trying every second to wrap in barbed wire. And you’re done. You’re fucking done for. He smiles and... it’s all fucking over. Whatever happens now, whether he dies or lives, it’s too late. He’s everything you ever wanted and it breaks you that he, somehow, wants you too. Because who would smile at you if they didn’t know you? Oh, he’s dumb as rocks still, but... the way he looks at you, in those moments when you fuck up, in those moments that if someone was watching, they would see you. And he sees you. And worse, he thinks he likes it. And... oh god. You love him. This will all end in tears. 

But it doesn’t. Kiryu’s alive and the same and that’s... that’s wonderful. And that’s the love of two people, two people who see each other and know each other and, god help them, like each other. Despite it all, the risk and worry and the problems, they just... get along. That’s why I ship it. 

(I also ship Kiryu/Majima/Tachibana sometimes and we’ll save my essay on that for an entirely different post.)

brotp: Saejima Taiga, obvs. I will not repeat my sentiments on why that’s the brotp here, there’s the Saejima post for that. But I also put Nishida and Kage right up there as Majima’s best bros. You got Nishida out here doing his best to keep his boss from dying and facilitating Majima’s ridiculous courtship ploys and trying to articulate Majima’s feelings for him when Majima Won’t because Nishida cares So Fucking Much about Majima. And he knows that Mjima hates it when people care about him, he knows Majima actively does tno want you to like him but... Nishida’ worked with him for too long not to know what a good, kind person Majima really sis, even if he’s trying his best not to show it. And god damn it, but Nishida’s not going to let him live in misery when he’s got a heart of gold like that. 

And Kage too, he and Majima look out for each other. They enjoy the odd cage match and a morose drink of fine liquor. They’ve both seen tragedy in their lives and Kage tries his best to convince Majima not to give up all hope. That Kiryu boy, he really likes him. Even Kage can see it. He’d be happy to... no, no, alright. Just thought he’d say. 

Because Majima has that effect on people. He makes friends wherever he goes because he’s a good time, he’s generous and kind and has a knack for picking up people who are down. And he’d do anything for you if you didn’t have a friend in the world. He has so much love to gives and slowly, slowly, with time and healing, with the death of Shimano and the return of his brother, slowly Majima is allowed to feel safe in loving people once more. And it warms everyone’s heart to see him happy and whole with a family and friends. Everyone he’s touched just wants him to be okay, after all he’s done for the world, please, just give him this little bit. It’s all he ever wanted.

general opinions: I Am Love. I LOvE HiM. I lOVe. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE. I Love HIm. *sobs*

[matymatsu]

A Chance for Normalcy

Commission for my lovely friend monotcchi on twitter! Please check out their stuff, they’re a wonderfully talented artist and deserves so much love! 

Big shoutout as always to my friends who proof read the story. This one was a lot messier to fix up lol

Word: 2k+ Fandom: Yakuza Pairing: Kiryu x OC 

Congrats, Tsubomi-Chan. You’ve proven yourself to be a trusted member of this family.

Those words of pride and commendation were all Tsubomi wanted to hear since she was a little girl. All she wanted to do was make her family proud. However, that came at a cost. She did not realize what she had gotten herself into until it was too late. Being accepted by her family and seen as worthy of being part of the Yakuza patriarch… it all left a bad taste in her mouth.

Ever since the incident, she hadn’t been able to think straight. Her mind wandered; she wouldn’t pay attention in class. It had gotten to the point that her grades were suffering because of it. Her teachers began to confront her. “Asagiri-san! You’re usually such a good student, what’s happening to you?” They would tell her, following up with advice on how to study better. 

However, their words fell on deaf ears. Her grades weren’t the top priority, for once. Instead, it was her self-worth.

What was her role in the world? Was it truly to just be a weapon? A thing? Did her parents even care about her anymore? Did they ever care to begin with? These questions kept clouding her mind. 

As she walked out of school, she couldn’t help but stare at all her classmates. Watching the different friend groups as they socialized with bright, happy faces, chatting about all the different plans they had today. Her bitter expression was making her stick out like a sore thumb. 

The way home was even worse. The bright lights felt more like the glaring sun, and the sounds of the busy streets were ringing in her ears, giving her a pounding headache. As she looked around, watching and observing the people around her, something caught her eye.

It was an older couple with their child, a little girl. They were holding her hands, bouncing her up and down as she giggled. It was a heartwarming scene that you would see in a typical family photo, and it broke Tsubomi’s heart. Seeing that simple image made her feel something, an emotion she had never felt before— envy.

While some people had happy, fond memories about their childhood, Tsubomi did not. She was constantly reminded about the duties and responsibilities she had to uphold for the family name. Meanwhile, she would watch as other children her age would play and spend time with their loved ones. Whether it was a small date or an extended vacation, they were making wonderful memories. She craved a life like that, where she could be happy and not have to endure the pressure of her family’s expectations. She clutched her bag tightly. Her body quickly overtook her mind as she rushed off, her heart pounding in her ears.

The walk to the pier went by in a blur. Her mind had completely zoned out. As she walked across the wooden planks, her eyes wandered around. There wasn’t a soul in sight. She slid her shoes off, keeping them beside her as she stood on the edge. She opened her fist, letting the bag slip out of her hand. This is what needed to happen. If her parents, her family, the people she trusted— simply wanted to use her as collateral damage, then they had no right even to have a daughter. This was her only chance to free herself.

Her body froze. She couldn’t move a muscle. Was it fear? Maybe a little. However, she couldn’t live like this anymore; she didn’t want to live like this. She closed her eyes and relaxed her body. Her mind began to take over as she slowly lifted her foot off the edge.

Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, JUMP—!

“Hey!”

A loud voice snapped her out of the trance. She thought she was alone! Well, she had hoped she was. Her gaze went right, towards the sound. There he stood, a young teenage boy, looked to be about the same age as her. He didn’t give off the threatening aura as his voice did; if anything, he seemed concerned.

Tsubomi simply stared at him. She couldn’t help but be annoyed. The last thing she needed was a witness. She huffed, slipping her shoes back on. Another day, perhaps…?

The boy kept watching her like a hawk, his eyes scanning her for any sudden movements. It only made her more uncomfortable. She didn’t want to say anything, but at this point, she felt compelled to. “What?”

She watched him tense up a little. “Sorry… it looked like you were about to do something foolish.” He said. Was it foolish? Perhaps. Why wouldn’t you want to live the rest of your life being used as a fucking attack dog? Then again, he didn’t know that. How would he? She wasn’t planning to let him find out either. “I guess.” She replied with a bitter tone. Her hand trembled as she picked up her bag. The sudden wave of emotion snuck up on her as she felt a soft pain in her chest. She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to start crying, and in front of a stranger no less. She was too wrapped up in collecting herself. She didn’t pay any mind as the boy walked up to her, closing the gap between them. 

“Do you need help?”

“Huh?” For a moment, she didn’t even register the question. This was the first time someone offered to help her. Usually, it was the other way around. “N… no! It’s nothing. Just… home stuff.” She replied, forcing the words out of her throat as she shook her head. “Hmm… I understand.”

She watched as the boy sat down on the wooden pier. He looked up at her, his hand patting the spot next to him. She pondered for a moment, should she sit with him? For all she knew, he could just be using her to kill time, not caring about what she may be going through. Then again, she didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to face her family, especially not in this mental state. 

She took the seat next to him, sliding her shoes off and placing them next to her. She gripped the wood below her, staring out across the water. The sun was just setting. Its glow looked gorgeous as it reflected against the clear ocean. However, it wasn’t enough to distract Tsubomi from the racing thoughts clouding her mind. She glanced over to the boy beside her, unsure if she should speak or just remain silent. “Hey, Uh—”

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” He said, cutting her off. “I figured it wouldn’t be right, leaving you alone like this.”

She couldn’t help but smile. She was pleasantly surprised by the kind words. “Thanks…”

The silence came as quickly as it left. Tsubomi glanced over, studying the boy’s face. She could have sworn she had seen him before, most likely at school. She was blanking on a potential name. As far as she could remember, she didn’t share any classes with him. “Umm…”

It was hard to speak all of a sudden, especially once their eyes met. She was usually decent at talking to people, but now, she felt anxious. “I’m sorry… what’s your name? I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

“Kiryu Kazuma.” He answered. “We go to the same school together.”

Good to know I haven’t gone completely nuts, she thought. “Asagiri Tsubomi.” She introduced herself, almost mumbling it. She felt it was only polite to give her name as well. Kiryu smiled, easing away her tension. “Nice to meet you.” He said. “You too.”

It became quiet yet again. It was almost comedic. Tsubomi wasn’t too sure what to do. She was curious about the boy who, unknowingly, saved her from her own destruction. It seemed unwise, but she wanted to know more about him. “Do you… come to the pier often?” She asked, leaving a small pause in the middle of her sentence. She was surprised she managed to form one at all, considering her mind was giving her a million suggestions at a time.

“Kind of.” He started, his voice held a sense of awkwardness. “My friend Nishiki and I used to come here during junior high. It’s been a while.” He added. She simply nodded, her eyes drifting towards the water to see a few fish, just below the surface. Kiryu opened up his bag and pulled out a small loaf of bread, wrapped in plastic. He pulled off the wrapping and ripped up the dough, throwing it in the ocean. They both watched as the fish ate each piece, bobbing up to the surface, fighting over the food. “What about you?” He asked. Tsubomi shook her head, staring at the fish, watching as they swam away. “I didn’t know this place existed.” She replied. She never took scenic routes on her way home. She wished she did, though. The ocean breeze, watching the waves roll by. It was relaxing. She suddenly felt something drop on her lap. She looked down, seeing a small bag of bread. “You look hungry.”

As if to confirm it, Tsubomi’s stomach let out a loud growl, causing the two of them to snicker. Biting into the bread, she let out a hushed, pleased hum. It was good! She felt kind of guilty, eating in front of him. She tugged off a significant portion, holding it in front of him. He raised an eyebrow, looking over, clearly confused. “You look hungry too.”

“Heh… thanks.” He smiled, taking the bread and popping it into his mouth. The two ate together in silence, which she honestly didn’t mind anymore. She hadn’t felt this content in a long time. 

She suddenly had a sick feeling in her gut as she swallowed. The slowly setting sun had finally hit her. She didn’t want to check her watch; she knew it was getting late. She didn’t want to leave, but it was naive to believe she could just sit here forever. As soon as she finished eating, she stuffed the wrapping in her bag and stood up. “I should get going.” She said, grabbing her stuff as she made her way off the pier. “Wait!”

She paused, looking back at Kiryu. “Come back tomorrow. We can hang out again. I… if you want.” His voice quivered when he uttered the last part. She blinked. To be honest, she wasn’t expecting that. No one has ever asked her out like this before. Then again, she’s never really bonded with anyone either, not until today. She nodded.

“See you tomorrow.” She waved. As she walked off, she could hear his soft voice. “See ya…”

On her way home, her mind raced, still processing what had happened. She was a bit disappointed in herself, not being able to go through with her original plan. Then again, she could always do it tomorrow—

No…! No, she couldn’t! Kiryu wanted to hang out again tomorrow, and she couldn't let him down. That thought alone made her stop dead in her tracks. She barely knew him… why the hell would she care about disappointing him or not? She knew the reason; she just didn’t want to admit it.

She may have found a friend. That boy, someone she barely knew, came to her aid. He didn’t go out of his way to try and fix all her problems or get inside her head. He simply offered her company— which is more than anything anyone else—  including her parents, had done. From that conversation alone, she could see how kind and caring he truly was. Sitting on that pier, chatting with Kiryu, the plans to do it all over again. She wanted that every day. 

She wanted to live a life outside of the Yakuza, outside of her family’s legacy. She wanted to be normal. Honestly, it sounded like an impossible dream, something she could probably never achieve. However, Kiryu showed her that there is a life of normalcy. It was just out of her reach, and she could grab it if she tried. And that’s precisely what she was going to do.