#ART IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. THE PERSON IS LITERALLY JUST HAVING FUN
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novantinuum · 2 days ago
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Reformation ref sheet for an AU Steven (named "Astra") who's been invading my brain since like,, April. It's VERY wide, apologies. There's a lot going on here because this man is incredibly old and has poofed way too many times for varying reasons. (See This post for how I headcanon that Steven can poof and still be considered a hybrid being.)
While I will not talk in huge length about certain aspects of his AU on this blog due to some of it involving strong NSFW themes, there is a ridiculous amount of other lore I've developed over time for Astra, and I love him to death. He is my sad, lonely mans who I metaphorically hurl against the wall like a sticky hand when I need to feel something.
This version of Steven will likely never have any kind of full ass fic or comic made about him. Despite that, I do enjoy sharing some art and fun character lore for him from time to time. So, I might as well finally give followers like... literally ANY context for him. I've had this ref sheet for a while and just have never gotten around to throwing it on here, LOL.
Ridiculously long dump about my guy under the cut.
Subnote, this was supposed to be a quick post but I can't help myself and wrote you a fucking BOOK under the cut because I love my guy so much UWU
(Content warning I guess for like, extremely vague mentions of Steven/Steven later on.)
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The huge tl;dr of Astra is as follows: he's a version of Steven who exists for SO long that he basically transforms into something of an ancient, lonely god.
He's outlived every single person he once knew as a child, and so as a result is starved for affection. At the same time, being vulnerable is the absolute scariest thing for him and he's really shit at navigating relationships, F.
The guy is THE most powerful living creature in his entire universe by the end, and yet remains a soft-spoken, (generally) benevolent soul. He dedicates himself to acting as caretaker for the vast, populous world he exists within, and to maintain the continuing legacy of Gemkind. A big discovery that occurs in this AU is that Gems are in fact susceptible to entropy over the span of millions of years and will eventually fall "inert," (but not him because of weird hybrid biology stuff he honestly sees as more of a curse than a blessing) so a huge plotline early on in Astra's lifespan is trying to either find a "cure" for this issue or to develop a means by which new generations of Gems can be created without the reinstatement of Kindergartens so Gemkind doesn't overtly go extinct.
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But, to start... this Steven diverges off a point in canon- this is the timeline where he actually takes up the Diamonds on their offer of the throne in the movie, believing he may have a better chance of heralding true societal change working from the INSIDE rather than stepping away. Because he pours himself so thoroughly into his role on Homeworld and his mind is continuously occupied by this purpose, he never experiences the events SU: Future, nor does he develop his "pink mode" (yet...) or corrupt at all.
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However, he's also so engrossed in his work that he's... kind of a shit boyfriend to Connie as years go on. (In that he's not terribly attentive... always super busy... their visits are often cut short, or few and far between.) Their relationship never really goes anywhere as a result, though Connie wants it to. To be fair so does Steven, but he's so scared that everything he's worked so hard to organize and set up in this new era will fall apart if he steps aside from his role for even a moment that he can't allow himself to follow that want.
At some point here he learns he can poof through a complete freak accident, and that's where things really begin to change in this timeline.
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It takes a good few months for him to reform, but once he does he's back at it with all his work on Homeworld pretty quick.
The thing is... he doesn't have an innate physical need to eat or drink or sleep anymore, because he now consists of entirely hard light. It mimics human biology to an insane degree, so he COULD do all those things, but he doesn't need them to persist. So... he kinda takes this as an excuse to cut those activities out of his schedule entirely so he can spend more time focused on his duties as a diamond.
Connie is NOT a fan of this, and this leads to some debate and tension within their relationship. That being said, they remain an item...
Up until out of nowhere, Connie dies in an accident on Earth while Steven is off planet in a place where he doesn't have any contact with them for a few days. By the time the Gems are able to get in touch with him, it's far too late to resurrect her.
The kicker? In the autopsy it's discovered that she was a few weeks pregnant when she died.
Steven is emotionally gutted by this... and the thought of what could have been... and poofs.
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The guy is understandably destroyed when he comes back in his next form, and his form reflects that- his gem flips as a sort of metaphorical severing from his own humanity.
He spends a long while in a deep depression at the loss of his childhood sweetheart... at the loss of any potential for (as far as he sees) a "normal" human life. There's a part of him that resents the choices he's made to end up in this present, but like, there's still work to be done.
And as the years move on, a LOT of that work is mitigating the growing relations (for better or for worse) between Gems and humans as humanity stretches their legs and reaches out into the stars. Humans kinda get... really aggressive in their expansion though, and quite territorial, and it leads towards some inevitable conflict between them and Gemkind. This time, with them more at fault. Things get so spicy that some groups of humans and Gems go to war.
Steven tries to mitigate one of these situations at the front lines- and gets poofed by a disgruntled Gem, speared straight through the back because she (kinda wrongly) assumed he would take the humans' side due to his ancestral ties to them.
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When he reforms this time, he is glowing a perpetual pink. The Gems don't really know what to make of this, but he seems to be in perfectly fine health otherwise, so they assume it's just a normal aspect of this new neutral form.
And while this isn't something Steven has context to figure out until like... billions of years later, what's actually happened is that he's entered a permanent pink mode, pretty much. Guy's just got that much bottled up, unaddressed trauma.
He spends a long time in this form, and over all these thousands of years oversees the slow return to peace between Gems and humans... their marriage as a space age federation... and their deeper exploration of the galaxy. Beyond their home solar systems exist a bounty of alien species they've yet to meet... some friendly, some less so. There's definitely some conflict that crops up amidst the local galactic neighborhood when Gems and humans show up on the playing field here, lol.
But all-in-all, Steven develops a fairly peaceful and predictable routine during this reformation- living more like a Gem than ever before. He's still got the Crystal Gems at his side through all of this, and they are some of his greatest confidants.
And then... without any warning... Gems begin to go inert. Amethyst is among them.
Some of them simply stop reforming after they poof... especially those who were older Gems, or who have been cracked before. Steven and the other Diamonds using their powers together are able to "fix" this at first and "jumpstart" their reformation, but it's just a bandaid of a fix- these Gems will fall inert again pretty soon. And the longer they persist without poofing from alternate causes, the more unstable their form, power, and memory becomes. (Think of this as Gem dementia at its late stages,,, oof.)
The bottom line? Just like organics, Gems aren't immune to the forces of entropy. Sooner or later, their gemstones will decay from the inside out. Stubborn to find a way to save the ones he loves as he watches them slowly deteriorate all around him, Steven dedicates himself to trying to find a cure. But deep down, a part of him recognizes the futility of this. What he believes Gemkind actually needs to do is to develop a means of rebooting Gem incubation that doesn't destroy planets, so they can rebuild their quickly dwindling population and keep their legacy alive.
The big problem with this is that Gems take a SHIT load of energy and resources to properly incubate, so that puzzle will take a long ass time to sort out. There's kinda a lot of chaos that happens during this time. The reality of their own blunt mortality freaks out a bunch of Gems, and Steven has to do damage control with the heads of state for a lot of other alien species.
In the interim, all the Crystal Gems and some of the Diamonds (White is still in the picture, though) end up falling inert. Pearl is the last of the CGs to do so.
Steven is understandably SUPER gutted about this, and poofs yet again. (Lol notice a theme? Poor mans keeps poofing from friggin' anguish. Help him.)
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After reforming with barely any changes, it's right back to work for this guy. He and the rest of his team of researchers are unable to find any cure for Gems decaying and falling inert, but they do end up making huge leaps and bounds in other kinds of tech. One of these advances allows Steven to finally deep-scan his own gemstone down to the atomic level to check for decay- this was previously a process that was very invasive, and came at the risk of irreparably damaging a Gem, but not anymore.
He expects to find evidence of the same micro decay that's been slowly eating away at the rest of Gemkind within his OWN diamond, but the thing is...
He just... ISN'T decaying at all? Even though the sheer age of this gemstone itself should suggest otherwise? As it turns out though, his existence as a hybridized being makes him kind of... an anomaly. When he first reformed all those thousands of years ago, all the data within his gem- data that would otherwise be susceptible to decay- was translated into genetic material. DNA that's woven entirely out of hard-light... but, DNA that has also been constantly regenerating itself thanks to a combination of all the intricate biochemistry surrounding the human telomere and his healing powers.
In other words, he is incapable of falling inert from natural causes, like micro decay. He's functionally immortal. Unless someone shatters him (or... heaven forbid... he shatters himself) he simply can't die.
Which, all of a sudden, makes his race to save Gemkind from their quickly approaching extinction all the more personal. Because if he FAILS- then he'll be the very last of Gemkind. There will be no one else left in this world who is even remotely like him. (Humanity has mixed and mingled with the galactic locals so much by now that they're very much unrecognizable from what they once were.)
His spirit is very nearly broken by this discovery, and he is severely tempted to throw all his own principles out the window and just sanction the construction of new Kindergartens again, if only to keep the dwindling Gem populations up and birth new generations. Perhaps surprisingly, it's White Diamond- the last Gem left who Steven actually knew since the very beginning- who urges him to reconsider. To not give up on his own morality, to not revert all the miraculous changes he's worked for these long few million years.
The big shift in the tides is when he discovers the means to jump to alternate timelines, and thus the existence of the greater multiverse. This allows him to gather intel and ideas from a far greater spectrum of sources.
And eventually... it's with the aid of many alt versions of himself from other lines across the multiverse that leads to him finding a suitable, eco-friendly solution to his Gem incubation problem. (This is the aspect of this AU I cannot discuss in length for discretion's sake. Use your imagination. Or don't, I don't care.)
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The following two sections, I'll be talking more about the broad thematics than anything else. At this point, know that there are now new batches of Gems being created all the time. Gemkind is no longer at risk of any extinction, but now- like any stable organic species- new Gems are made at the same rate that they fall inert.
So, the BIGGEST thing here with this reformation is that this is overtly where this guy picks up the name "Astra." Why a name change? Well, after White finally went inert, leaving him the last Diamond in existence within this line, it basically just felt... upsetting to him, to continue to go by a name that every person he ever loved used for him. Thus, the new name is overtly a means to distance himself from that past, and from that pain. (It's also a name he chooses while thinking back to a meaningful conversation he had with White, back before she went inert, oOF. I'll probably yell about that at some point in another post.)
So, too, is the lack of any tangible facial features. He HAS a face, but others just can't see it. He subconsciously obscures it from almost everyone's sight as a means of avoiding vulnerability. One might also have noticed by now that this guy's proportions have gotten like, really strange and sorta "stretched out" over time the larger he becomes... and this is intentional, as it's yet another way he's just becoming more inhuman in form, yet another way he's internally separating himself from those humble human origins of his.
But here's the thing, though.
Deep, deep down, to be human and to live a simple human life is basically all he's ever craved. It's everything he feels he's lost forever, with the death of his Connie. And instead, he's kinda stuck in a hellish sunk cost fallacy of his own making, acting as eternal caretaker for this world that- no matter what he does to try and make it a better place- will never quite be PERFECT. Thus, in his mind, even though he's literally fixed Gemkind's BIGGEST problem, he can't Stop. He can't Rest. He simply can't allow himself himself to lay down and Sink Away into the unknown.
And even if he could allow himself to do so, he is so, so scared of walking that path alone.
If he's going to die... he wants that end to be at a lover's side.
How, though, is someone who's basically a god supposed to find anyone in this multiverse with experiences they can remotely relate to?
Well... ultimately, Astra finds that it's far, far easier to build up a close relationship with varying versions of himself than anyone else. He's... kinda trash at it, though. This guy has so much bottled up Gunk in his head and is so starved for any form of affection that he has a habit of throwing WAY too much of himself into the relationships he engages in, and expecting that same level of commitment in return. There's one relationship with an alt Steven he's in for a while that ends up pretty unhealthily co-dependent before it fizzles out, and then another where he assumes the individual is committing to this partnership for the long run, but then no... actually Astra was always pouring more into this dynamic than he was receiving in return.
This second relationship, when it ends, is pretty devastating to him- since it was one that lasted for like, a LONG ass time. Unimaginably long. We're talking billions of years, here.
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Uh-oh! And now he's even more distanced from other people. Folks can't even parse his actual chosen name at this point- except he isn't really consciously aware of this for a while?? It's yet another silent cry for help, yet another internal defense mechanism specially intended to keep others from truly getting to know him. Because every time he does... stars. No matter what he does, he keeps getting hurt. Almost everyone he knows and loves is torn from his life eventually... if not by death, then by some form of tragedy... and he's just so, so tired.
He wants literally ANYTHING to change in his life. He craves some new form of purpose. He craves the attention of someone who might love him as passionately as he loves them.
For a while, he almost believes he's found that- in yet another close relationship he forges with an alt version of himself- but while this other Steven does care for him immensely, it's only as a friend. Which kinda kills Astra, because he's like, lost in the sauce levels of In Love with this guy. There's a LOOOOOOT of story I have here with this, oh my god. If I am thinking about this AU I am usually thinking about this Old Man Yaoi. The great bulk of it is very NSFW themed though, so y'all getting the cliff notes.
The MOST important thing to know though, is that Astra both makes intense leaps and strides in once again allowing himself to be vulnerable with this man, and ALSO kinda intensely fucks their whole mutually agreed situationship up. It's messy. I am crying and wailing at these two old dumbasses. Jesus fucking christ.
But then, it's in the aftermath of this whole deal that an individual named Orion comes into the picture.
Orion quite literally falls into Astra's world by complete accident, but it's a very lucky accident- because she is a diamond hybrid version of Connie from another universe who- beyond a few differences- has a strikingly similar history to his. The big difference, though? She never found a means to create new Gems without Kindergartens, so she was the last of just a few thousand Gems who existed in her entire line. Part of a deeply endangered species.
This version of Connie arrives in some very deep mental turmoil, and so Astra does his best to give them a stable home and a place to heal. And while a past version of him might've been tempted to throw way too much of himself into the slow building rapport they have, he's blessedly Learned a thing or two from the past few major relationship experiences he's had... and chooses to like, ease up. Just offer himself as a friend first and foremost, should they care for one. Man learns restraint, lol.
And it's a damn GOOD thing that he does, because out of the genuine friendship they foster, Orion is the one who ultimately falls in love with him first. The relationship that's established here is one that's balanced, a true partnership where they simply make each other better people. It's through Orion's encouragement that Astra eventually reconnects and makes up with that last person he had an intense relationship with, even.
In time, Astra truly grows to thrive with Orion in his life. He becomes a far more open, vulnerable person, someone who feels safe to truly exist as who he is, to bare every complicated, battered facet of his past to those he trusts. While he may have taken the LONG road to get here, he too heals. And as a result...
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One day, Astra simply stops glowing entirely. Shrinks down to more reasonable proportions. He stops hovering around on automatic, stops subconsciously scrubbing the memory of his face or name from people's minds. He stops denying his truest, deepest self- the reality that he was born an organic being, and raised as a human.
The burred reality that all he's ever truly wanted since the day his first lover died is to be a father.
To live a quiet, simple life with the people he loves.
For so long it was a mirage of a future he thought he'd never chase down, but for how much he made all the wrong choices the first time around, now he has a second chance.
And so in my brain, that's exactly what happens. Astra and Orion start a family together and continue to act as guardians over this universe for many years to come, until- after they are satisfied with the long life they've lived together, and their children have moved on to start forging their own paths- they eventually pass Beyond at their own will in each other's arms, ending their impossibly long godhood at peace.
I really don't know how to end this post lmafo, so I will simply say: if you somehow read all of this, holy shit you are so brave. Thank you for engaging with my insane ramblings. Have a nice day LOL FUIHSNUFSJG
This man haunts my brain so much I missed two off ramp turns on the highway the other day while thinking about him. Help me.
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stiffyck · 4 months ago
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Artists on Instagram and tiktok and most other sites are the strongest people on earth because the comments are always fied with so many stupid people. I'd be murdering them if that was on my posts.
People have no idea what the fuck art is.
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ganondoodle · 4 days ago
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i really hate gettign so frustrated i get extremely irritatable and so full of ... energy of just wanting to cry and punch and kick something, and for some reason i also get incredibly itchy but in a way that it wont stop and i just want to scratch my skin off, like theres a little guy running over my skin and stabbing me with a needle in the same spots over and over, every little normal thing can send me over the edge, even thigns like typos, today it was cutting a little avocado that wasnt quite ripe yet, so i wasted it, and annoying ads on TV-
been trying for ages to draw literally anything, been trying to work on a new design sheet for links shiekah arm and i thought maybe i should ditch the sketch part since all things seemed to get stuck on it, but no, i dont know what it is, been trying to just get some of those shiekah squiggly design lines on it and its been three days without anything looking even remotely like i want and its so goddamn stupid, its just some wiggly lines!!!!! and now i am stting here in tears bc im so angry and frustrated about it, all this time wasting over and over and over im so tired of it, i dont want to not draw either though, i have wasted hours doing shitty grind quests in slime rancher, i have been helping with baking cookies, been folding little paper stars, all things i hoped would help me get out of this but it wont work, i am at my wits end
crying and kicking stuff so hard it hurts you cant be the right way to cope with this but all other things that have worked in the past arent doing that...................
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tariah23 · 8 months ago
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Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.
#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work#like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like#their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’#rambling#I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running#referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh#zines make me feel so anxious man#it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward…#another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail#and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either…#they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing#their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks#we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks#it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk#they were the mod for the zine too#I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to#there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro#i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway#I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed#I#Guess it didn’t make its money back#or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book#I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free#if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free
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snekdood · 2 months ago
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not sure who needs to hear this but i do not see myself as above anyone, like, at all. if something I posted makes you think I think I am you're probably misreading it or my intentions. I dont feel the need to compare myself and make myself feel like i'm above people, i'm just not really that kind of person. in fact, people make a point of constantly trying to make me feel below them on here so dont worry, you don't gotta help em'.
#literally. feel free to send me an ask on anon 'what i meant' by anything. literally ever. i will gladly elaborate.#id rather you get it from me than someones wild interpretation of what i'm saying anyways.#a lot of the times when im trying to put myself on a pedestal i'm playing a character...... which im realizing now isnt immediately#recognizable for people who dont anything about my art..... uhm. well. so. i have a character. thats a jackass. and is my self insert.#but he wasnt always my self insert. but he is now. but he has always been a jackass even when i wasnt nearly as much#and since im still in the beginning of my comic in many ways im still holding on to that asshole version bc thats what hes like in#the beginning but i do actually have the wisdom and lived experience to know hes a jackass and that i dont want him to be#like that and he was always supposed to grow out of it ever since i first conceived of this comic- so in a way i hold on to it as a method#acting kind of thing. on the other hand its just a really funny persona to me. but its only really funny if you know its in the context#of a persona and thats not actually how i feel about the thing like im not actually being that extreme about it prolly sdjhfdvshjsfhvd#its the kind of persona you love to act bc you love to make fun of and mock that kind of person yknow?#idk how to explain it. but. rest assured that im probably just in my persona mode and hes very sassy and snarky and an ass#🤷 what can ya do#i also maybe put it on at bad times and not realize it and for that im sorry >_>#THAT would be bc of the bpd. and thats not me grasping for sympathy at all im speaking purely on facts.#bpd tends to make ppl express 'incorrectly' at the wrong times and yeah etc etc
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zoe-oneesama · 28 days ago
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The Kwamis! Some of these came easier than others, but since Angelic Layer has no magic involved, all the kwamis became human~ They won't be very prevalent, they're mostly here to fill in background character roles - shop clerks, MCs Tournament Directors, fans - so they won't have a whole lot of speaking roles (aside from, you know, the MCs who're there to commentate on the fights lol). But I thought I'd give them all a nice nod in the story somewhere.
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As expected, Tikki and Plagg are the main MCs. Marinette and Adrien's fights will be going on concurrently so Tikki will be commentating Marinette's fights while Plagg commentates on Adrien's. They'll have the most dialogue of the kwamis, so I do want them to have unique ways of discussing what they're seeing.
Pollen will be working directly for the Bourgeois'. As a VIP with a direct relationship with the international director of Angelic Layer, Chloe has her own private practice layer in her home and Pollen is in charge of it's upkeep and maintenance. She matches Armand the Bulter's levels of competence.
Trixx is a Rena Rouge mega fan. They've been following Alya's blog for as long as they can remember and are mega stoked that Alya moved to their city. When Alya starts to doubt herself, it's Trixx's voice that can be heard cheering her on to not give up.
Nooroo and Duusu are servants in the Agreste Estate. Unknown to Adrien, they are fully aware of his sneaking around to play and the two do what they can to make excuses and deflect Nathalie when Adrien isn't where he's supposed to be. They're rooting him on from the shadows!
Wayzz is the adult son of Marianne and Fu. He brings them to Angelic Layer fights against his will because the two really enjoy them. The two seem to be really invested in Ladybug and Chat Noir's career (and the behind the scenes shenanigans that they secretly spy on).
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Longg is Kagami's bodyguard. Like Nooroo and Duusu, they are fully aware of what Kagami is doing behind her mother's back and feigns ignorance when Kagami pulls something..."sneaky" to get to a fight secretly.
Here's where we get into some existing jobs from the show:
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Orikko and Kaalki are the "Layer Hot Girls (and boy)". lol I just thought it was funny that Angelic Layer even has them.
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Mullo is the sales clerk at the Princess Piffle store (the store where you can buy your Angel and all the accessories). All of them lol. Mullo and her many many sisters who look just like her.
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Barkk and Fluff take similar but still different roles (the uniforms are ALMOST the same but there are some tiny differences). So Barkk is the receptionist at the Practice Ring (literally you pay to reserve a mini-layer to practice on) while Fluff is the waitress/cashier at the cafeteria at the Tournament Center.
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(and back to making shit up lol)
Daizzi is a nurse where Rose goes to the hospital and she has segmental localized vitiligo. Rose is particularly close to Daizzi since she helps Rose make her donations to the hospital.
Sass is the backstage directory, aka, the guy who makes things run. He has an earpiece that has the same diamond pattern as his pants on it! The anime does show one person who helps backstage, but I wanted to have a little fun with Sass's look and tie in to him being "in charge" of the kwamis.
Ziggy works at Socqueline's family art supply shop, which is frequented by Angelic Layer players who are on a bit of a budget. They love talking with the customers about their angels, though mostly the design part.
Stompp is Ivan's foster mother and Roarr his foster sister (Stompp's bio-daughter). I actually didn't think of what kind of job this outfit would be good for, but I think she'd make a good security guard - usually working at rock concerts, which she bonds with Ivan over, but she's also been hired for Angelic Layer tournaments. Sometimes sore losers get a little...violent.
Roarr falls in love with Juleka's Angel Purple Tigress immediately thanks to her pre-existing love of tigers in general. She's even bold enough to proclaim her love to Juleka herself!
Xuppu is Ondine's sibling and a fan of King Monkey, though they'll go out of their way to make fun of Kim himself. Secretly, they're very invested in Kim's career and get very upset on his behalf when he loses.
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heymrspatel · 1 year ago
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thanks for this, anon! thanks for this, bee!
look, i quite frankly always steer away from heavy discourse because even though i scream and flail in the tags (and draw some spicy shit), at the end of the day, i am extremely shy and introverted. but, this is something that's always a punch in a gut. for me, yes, but also for the rest of the artists that i see putting their heart and soul into things.
art takes time. it takes effort. i sit there and learn with every piece i put out. if you've been here a while, you've seen me learn in real time! it's also vulnerable as all hell to put your stuff out there for people to see. pieces that you yourself may be critical about OR pieces you spent days/weeks/months on OR pieces with a subject matter that might not "land". it's so hard!!
there are people asking for art, there are many of us serving it to you on a platter. so, we're just asking that if you like the thing to simply show it a little love. that's all!
there is SO much art out there and i encourage you all to scroll through the shameless/gallavich fanart tags. you will find them.
also, i try my absolute best to share what i see. there's a living "art rec" tag on my blog, because i WANT to cheer you all on and lift you up! feel free to peruse that as well! 💙
Omg honestly, there is art being posted & just not being acknowledged. There are posts from artists I have been following for years that I’ve seen bomb quite honestly. & I’m not knocking the anon, maybe they haven’t seen it or it’s not their vibe, but there is so much going unloved. I’m not an artist but I just can’t imagine how this feels after spending probably days on a piece. I’m sorry I’m just rambling here & this isn’t your prob I just get upset at seeing GOOD shit by GOOD people flopping!
LOUDER ANON! THIS IS THE TRUEST SONG I’VE EVER HEARD 🔊🔊🔊
you’re right. you’re absolutely right. & i was trying to sing it gently in that last ask because there has been a slow down in terms of the frequency that people were posting & also in users that are active FOR SURE. but to then finally put out a piece to have it bomb fucking S U C K S! & it’s happening to everyone. even, like you said, some of the ones who’ve been around the longest.
a general rule of thumb: if you like seeing more & new art, engage with the art as it comes! let the creator know that you loved it! hype them up! it takes guts & effort to put shit out!
but also what a great opportunity to shout-out some recent faves:
art for honeycomb by @heymrspatel
@deathclassic & @mikhailoisbaby are regularly making art, as well as running "draw this in your style" challenges. check out molly's for ian (round-up post) & harvey's for mickey + pup!
@doodlevich is constantly putting out art & gave us a whole ass week of art for gallavich week 2023
@steorie made gorgeous art for @palepinkgoat's gorgeous fic, restoration!
@suzy-queued put out this SPICY MOTHERFUCKER just today!
FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LIST/POST! xx
#you don't have to read this asdlfkj i just have alot feelings#PERSONALLY i produced shit almost nonstop for a year & a half. adding new techniques more details-and i slowly but surely burned out#meaning every new piece took more and more out of me. more time. more energy. more tears. i was harder on myself.#because 'you've been getting better. every new piece has to be better than the last' - this isn't true. this is supposed to be fun!!! alas.#the last pieces for honeycomb literally took me months because i was convinced i was suddenly ThE wOoOOooRsT#(pls read that like jean ralphio)#i won't go into the trials and tribulations i experienced while making the art for honeycomb. just know that shit was B A D!#but brother we made it through! and i'm really proud of those pieces! i love them so much!#(even if the notes for spicy shit are on a decline 🫥)#i've got so many ideas i promise you i'm just a little slower than i was & its taking me more and more time to be kinder to myself about it#luckily i have so many angels in my corner cheering me on every step of the way. they always get where i'm coming from & what i'm going for#(in a friend group full of writers - i can't express how special this is. i'm kinda the odd one out but they always understand.)#my god who allowed me to speak this much?#i guess all this to say i love you. i see you. you're good. you're talented. and i hope you give yourself kindness.#i will try to do the same for myself 💙#personal#i guess. cause this did take a turn lol
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girliism · 5 months ago
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having art and patrick as your boy best friends.
you met them in kindergarten. the three of you sat at the same table with another boy. said other boy was writing bad words on your drawing when art and patrick sprayed glue all over him.
they had to sit out of recess watching the other kids play. you brought them both flowers as a thank you and ever since then the three of you were inseparable.
so inseparable that when third grade came around and patrick saw that the three of you weren’t in the same class he brought his parents up to the school and demanded that you all be in the same class every year. middle and high school were no different.
you loved them but hated the gross tendencies they came with. “you have to sit in between us so we don’t fight over who sits next to you.” art says. but you hate sitting in between them cause it ended up with you getting caught in their burping matches. “you guys are so gross.”
but art and patrick really did care for you. so much so that at 11 when you got your first period and ignored them for a week they made it their duty to learn all about menstruation.
you were at lunch eating with your girl friends when art places a drink in front of you. “it’s a green smoothie full of iron rich vegetables so you can replenish after losesing so much blood. my mom made it.” the blonde smiles at you very proud of himself but your faces heats up in embarrassment. “also you can get pregnant now so like don’t do that.” patrick adds quite loudly and everyone is looking at you and your other friends are snickering at the interaction. you wanted to die.
watching art and patrick go though growth spurts was actually terrifying. and not to mention they ate everything. “can we get five home style burger plates two for us and one for her. with oreo milkshakes. oh and apple pie” patrick orders. you watch as the both of them clear their plates with ease now deciding if you all should go for ice cream.
it was the summer before freshman year and you had spent most of it with your grandparents but you made in back in time for the zweig end of summer party. “guys! did you miss me” you pull them in for a hug before you walk ahead of them into the zweig house. the two of the watch you with confusion. when did you become a girl?
art and patrick never really saw you as “girlish” the way they saw other girls as girlish cause they’ve known you for so long. but something changed when you were at your grandparents house. you changed.
“dude you see that right.” patrick says. him and art watch you in the pool talking to your other friends. “she has boobs.” art groans at his friends perverted observation. “can you like not stare at her chest. that’s weird.” “what, all i’m saying is that she has boobs now guys like boobs. boobs and guys are no good match. horny assholes will try to get with her all year.” “can you stop saying boobs” art whispers “they’ll break her heart and get her pregnant. we have to protect her.” patrick says sternly.
the first two years of high school boys avoided you like the plague.
“do you guys think i’m ugly?” you blurt out one night the three of you laying on your bed watching juno. both of them sputter out a slue of what’s and why would you think that. “it’s just no one’s asked me to the formal. i’m literally the only person i know who doesn’t have a date.”
patrick looks at you before shrugging. “you can come with us duh. me and art will be your date we can make it a group thing.” art nods in agreement. this makes you feel worse. “i don’t want to be your guys pity date. plus your girlfriends hate me.” art sits up turning to you. “it’s not a pity date. formals are supposed to be about having fun with you friends. and our girlfriends don’t hate you.” oh but they totally did.
you end up going to formal with art, patrick and their girlfriends and have a surprisingly good time. the night is ending and patrick’s ditch the two of you so you and art sit on the empty football field just the two of you.
“so where’s your girlfriend?” you ask. “making out with the quarterback under the bleachers.” art sighs out looking up at the sky. you wince. “sorry” art mumbles out a whatever picking at the trimmed grass.
“her loss right.” you bump your shoulder with his. art scoffs “yeah, now at least she’ll have someone to grope her.” “wait wait is big shot tennis man too scared to grope his girlfriend.” art shoves you. “shut up ok, guys get nervous too.” humming you say. “if a guy so much as wanted to kiss me i’d just do it.” eyes looking up.
arts head snaps towards you. “have you never been kissed before?” you shake your head no. “but we’re almost juniors, how have you never been kissed?” “maybe because you and pat intimidate any guy that’s has interest in me. which is really fucking annoying by the way.” you huff. “sorry about that, pat just doesn’t want you to end up on teen mom.”
the two of you sit in silence for a while. “i could kiss you.” art says. you look over to him heart beat picking up. art is a good looking guy obviously, but he was your best friend. “wouldn’t that be weird?” you bite your lip out of nervousness. “doesn’t have to be.”
you get your first kiss that night. on the football field under the night sky. it was nice, art’s lips felt nice. moving slowly against yours his hand tenderly holding your cheek. you both break away from the kiss to breathe. “thanks” you whisper.
you guys never talk about what happened that night. not to patrick and not to each other. the same way you don’t talk about the kiss you and patrick share in his treehouse at his family’s goodbye summer party before junior year.
part two
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satxoru · 6 months ago
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You were always the quiet one in the friend group. You would try to make your voice heard, but your friends just didn't ever hear you nor believed in you or considered your feelings whenever they did anything.
You always tried to fit in with them in any way, maybe they'll start noticing you right? it even came to the point where you change your opinion so you could be just like your friends.
but they never really noticed you, never considered your feelings in anything, even if it's about an important situation or not.
one day your friends brought universities up in a conversation, which is great because you've been thinking about universities for a while so you took it as a chance to voice out your thoughts.
You have always loved drawing and photography. You were thinking about taking either arts & design or photography in college, but you weren't sure which one to choose. You were leaning more towards photography because you loved taking pictures of nature and you felt like it was something you really had a passion for.
but you weren't sure if you should pursue this or not. You wanted some advice on what to do, and you made the mistake of asking your friends for advice, because they did everything other than advice or encourage you.
"i was thinking either arts & design college or photography college."
one of your friends scoffed "are you even good at either of them to consider these universities?" your friend said.
"oh, i never knew you were thinking of going to college considering you'd most likely fail the admission test" another friend added which had the rest of the friend group hollering in laughter.
as if the first comment didn't already hurt you enough, your friends just had to bring up the fact that they thought you'd fail the admission test, which was something you were always scared of.
You felt completely humiliated and your confidence started to crumble even further as they kept laughing and mocking you.
You tried to laugh off the hurt that you felt when your friends mocked you, but it was clear to everyone that you were upset. one of your friends noticed this and said, "don't be so dramatic, we're just joking around." this only made you feel more hurt and embarrassed, and you quickly tried to hide your tears.
You slowly started to doubt yourself and your abilities. Your friends' behavior towards you started to take a toll on you and you started falling into a depressive episode.
later that night, you were having a hard time falling asleep. You were overthinking everything that happened at school, doubting yourself and your abilities, and you kept thinking about why everyone else seemed better than you and why you couldn't do anything right. You kept beating yourself up about it and it was too much for you to handle, you broke down in tears and cried yourself to sleep that night.
It was the same cycle again the next day in school. Your friends kept making fun of you, but you weren't aware that a specific person with blue eyes was watching you for the past two weeks, dying to go protect you from your cruel friends.
later after school, you and your friends went to the park even though you were very heavy-hearted that day and didn't have the energy to socialise with them, you didn't give up on trying to fit in with your friends.
they ended up coming across a dog. everyone was squealing about how cute the dog was, but you kept your distance because you were scared of dogs since one had bitten you before. you tried to tell your friends this, but they dismissed your feelings and told you that you're just being dramatic, which hurt you even more.
"god why are you so dramatic, its just a dog it won't bite." a friend snarled at you.
"i literally told you guys before that I've been bitten by a dog before, that's why im scared of them and you know it!" you complained.
"how were we supposed to know when you never told us." another friend added.
"i did tell you guys but you never listened to me." you sighed out, having no energy to argue back.
the next day at school, Satoru noticed how exhausted and down you were. he was concerned for you and wanted to help.
he started a conversation with you to distract you from sitting with your friends and give you some time to yourself.
"hey, can i sit next to you?" Satoru asked which he got a slight hum of approval in response. You and Satoru knew each other, but you didn't know each other to the point where you would start a conversation which confused you a little, but you didn't complain, you love company as long as no one is making fun of you.
You were doodling in your notebook midway through class when Satoru noticed and took it as a chance to start another conversation.
"..i've noticed how hard you've been working on your drawings in art class and I think they're really cool" he complimented.
"really? you mean that?"
"yeah, I really do, you have a lot of talent and I think it's amazing how you're always challenging yourself."
his words made you smile, "thanks, Gojo. That means a lot to me."
Satoru could tell that he had put a smile on her face and he was glad he had.“Satoru.” He corrected you to which you tilted your head in confusion. he smiled at your expression.
“call me Satoru.”
two months have gone by and You and Satoru have grown very close, you're basically attached at the hip now and you have gotten so close to each other that Satoru is the best friend you have always asked for; he is always standing up for you and encouraging you, and slowly you've gotten the strength to believe in yourself and are becoming better and better in what you do.
he even helps you by being your photography companion, posing for you and doing silly faces to make you laugh and giggle, which leads you to have lot of pictures of Satoru in your gallery. and as his friendship with you grew, you became more distant from your friends, even though they never really asked about you, nothing really changed in your absence, so things were still the same as usual.
but, there was this weird feeling that you weren't quite sure of, you didn't want to think too much about it in case you ended up convincing yourself of it
You liked Satoru, but weren't sure of your feelings and kept denying it by saying it was because he was your first guy friend or the first person who ever believed in you, but you sometimes share some moments together that would leave you blushing, and you weren't sure if he shared the same feelings as you, or if he was just being friendly.
like that one time you were at the park walking together when suddenly Satoru randomly blurted out "you know, I just realized how nice it is to walk with you, being around you is just so peaceful."
You blushed slightly and couldn't help but smile. You were starting to realize how comfortable you felt around him and you couldn't stop thinking about that interaction for the rest of the day.
or that one time when you were in the school hallways heading to class, and bumped into Satoru. you both said apologies at the same time and laughed it off. but it was then that you realized how close to you Satoru was and how strong his cologne smelled, you blushed a bit and couldn't help but notice how handsome he was.You both continued on your way, but the interaction had left you blushing.
and today in class you were talking to each other when suddenly Satoru leaned in close to your ear and whispered "you know, you're so cute when you talk about what you love." You blushed and ducked your head low, giggling.
You couldn't help but blush from the compliment and you were starting to realize that you might have feelings for Satoru.
a few weeks later and you finally mustered up the courage to confess to Satoru, at the thought of him you got a text from him telling you to meet him in the park because he has a surprise for you, as you were reading the message you got your hopes up maybe he'll confess.
As you arrived, you spotted Satoru sitting with another girl, and your heart sank but didn't want to jump to conclusions.
"hey Satoru" you said as you were approaching them, he looked up at you and smiled, although it was clear that he was quite comfortable with the other girl, you didn't forget to give a slight smile to the pretty girl although jealousy was all you felt.
"who's this?" you asked politely, and as Satoru introduces his girlfriend. Your heart sank.
seeing him introduce his girlfriend with a big grin made you glad he was happy but you can't deny the pain you're feeling right now, though you tried your best to hide your feelings, That's what you've been doing all along. You started a conversation with his new girlfriend.
"omg I'm so happy for you two, congratulations!" You say in a happy tone hoping Satoru won't notice your change of mood, but as he knows you too well, he definitely noticed. He decided to act clueless for now but he would talk about it later.
a while goes by with them and you had to make up an excuse to go home because the pain in your chest was unbearable. Later at night you got a text from Satoru reading "hey, are you okay?" followed by another message "i noticed how upset you were today with us— did something happen?"
"yeah I'm okay, i just needed to go home cuz i remember something important to do"
You sent the text hoping to change the subject.
"im not stupid"
"be honest with me, what happened"
you both went back and forth, with Satoru asking if you were sure you wanted to tell him what was bothering you, and you finally building up the courage to ask him to come over.
"But promise me nothing will change between us when I tell you," you added.
Satoru agreed to your condition, and came over to your house.
when you opened the door for satoru, you couldn't help but get a little teary eyed. Satoru noticed the worry written all over your face, and he didn't hesitate to hug you when he saw tears in your eyes.
he closed the door behind him and held you tightly and comforted you. letting you on his shoulder, he took you to sit on the couch and get more comfortable. you were overwhelmed with emotions, but you were appreciative of how Satoru was taking care of you in this moment. you felt safe in his arms.
"you wanna tell me what happened?" he slowly asked. your voice cracked as you tried to talk to him which gave him a signal that you weren't calm enough to talk right now. "hey its okay, take your time, im not pressuring you." he whispered in your ear while trying his best to calm you down.
he held you closer, not letting go and continuing to hold you close; he didn't want you to feel unsafe or uncared for, he wanted you to take your time and be ready to share what was bothering you when you were ready to do so.
You tried to stay calm, but you could feel your heart racing and your emotions overwhelming you.Satoru was looking at you curiously, and you knew that you had to tell him what was bothering you.
after a deep breath, you went on "I have to be honest with you, I've liked you for a while now, but when I arrived at the park today, you were with another girl and I realized that you had a girlfriend. It was hard for me to hide my disappointment and heartbreak." You said all in one breath which left Satoru silent for a while trying to understand what you just said.
the silence scared you, it was eating you alive and you couldn't help but start to overthink, "does he hate me now?" "is he disgusted of me?" "is he gonna leave me?" "i dont want him to cut me off."
all those thoughts came rushing all at once, you were gonna let go of the hug but he pulled you closer to himself and started talking.
"you know, i used to like you back then." his sudden statement confused you, you needed more clarification.
"no, i used to love you, but i realized you weren't in the right state to be in a relationship, and you weren't looking for a relationship and i didn't wanna get it into your head"
"i didn't wanna pressure you into anything but at the same time I've been waiting for too long. it was hurting me so bad"
"i was glad and upset that i was starting to move on from you, and now that you told me, im disappointed." Satoru isn't sure what he's disappointed by, but the thought of them nearly becoming something ached the both of them.
maybe Satoru should've waited a while longer? maybe you were just late trying to figure out your feelings? either way time was up and there was no going back, and of course Satoru won't leave his new girlfriend, he loves her still.
but he knew deep in his heart that he could never love someone else the way he loved you.
"but.. in the future if im able to fall in love again, i hope its you." he added
"in the future, if you ever find yourself in the position to love again, fall in love with me." you could barely form a sentence.
"i wish you well for you and your girlfriend, but if anything happened that separates the two of you, just know that ill always be waiting for you Satoru."
"you cant waste your life waiting for me" he caressed your hair.
"i know but i love you too much to let you go.”
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zluty-spendlik · 4 months ago
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WAKFU REDESIGN AND REWRITE SERIES PART 2
Yugo
Okay I really should've started with Yugo but I just had so many ideas for Eva I had to let it out. (link to part 1 here)
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And with Yugo, I have the exact opposite feelings, because... he's fine. He's the main character, he's a kid, he acts like a kid, he's very thoughtful and kind... I don't have any issues with his character.
But! Theres still ideas i have!
For example, I never quite liked the idea of Yugo being the Eliatrope king and yeah, I know hes a child but he never really... gave me leader vibes, yk? Tbh compared to Adamaï he severely lacks the assertive personality. After finding out that hes the last airbender Eliatrope, he doesnt even care for the culture much. Or like- at all? Hes mostly excited about his superpowers- AND THATS FINE, hes a literal child, but still... a supposed king.
So either make him more invested in his people (you could make a whole arc outta that! He gets hyperfixated on figuring his heritage out he forgets about the here and now - tho that really does sound more like Adamaï) OR make him state outloud that he already has a life and doesnt want to start another one! He likes his friends and adventures and doesnt need anything else... until he does. Make him grow and find parts of himself he didnt even know were missing. New values, a culture he can be a part of!
(Also AU where Yugo actually cant use his powers properly so they only inconvenience him (like accidentally teleporting his stuff) and he tries to stay away from his heritage as long as possible until Grougal is just forced to drag him out the house is so entertaining 2 me istg)
So im fine with the story Qilby has spun, where he and Shinonome are the leaders cause HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?? And anyway, the Adventure duo finding out about Qilbys betrayal through random goofy shenanigans seems pretty in character lmao
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I like Yugos design (except for the shoes, they absolutely haunt me) so I mostly just put my own spin on it rather than changing it radically. I briefly debated on giving him a tail or more dragon-like features but then I realized he lived a normal life before all this lol the village would PROLLY NOTICE
Tho it finally hit me that Eliatropes cleatly have deer features- like the little fur thingy at the end of the Eliatrope cap resembling a deer tail??? How did I not notice that??? But I think his s4 outfit resembles a bat way more so idk?
I gave him white freckles like the bambi spots and light blue "wakfu" spots on the back instead of the runes on his chest he has in the Qilby final boss fight. Also I couldnt decide which outfit I like more for s1-2 so which one do u guys like more?
I havent watched season 3-4 but I did a potential s3 Yugo look as well, I had fun :))
Yugo art dump
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industrations · 10 months ago
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will you ever draw masc sirius? not to compare artists but recently i've just noticed masc sirius pics get more notes and ppl get more pissed off bc of fem sirius. it's ok if you draw fem wolfstar (fem sirius AND fem remus) but it's kinda weird you only draw remus masc. kinda heteronormative. when wolf is gay. plus canonically sirius was masc and remus was fem (sirius was the biker and remus was short.) it's ok you're more into fanon but canon is real so i'm just curious if you will ever draw masc sirius. if you will it'll be very cool and i'm sure you'll get more notes too.
This is the LAST time I'm going to be talking about this because I'm so TIRED of this debate.
Firstly, the "canon" you speak of is written by this person. So think before you start arguing anything about canon.
Then, since apparently some of you still cannot read. I DO NOT DRAW FOR YOU; I DRAW FOR ME. I could not care less about notes or likes or popularity. I'm just here to have fun and enjoy my time. That you are so concerned about notes is your own problem, not mine, but I suggest you change that because notes do not equal any sort of value, and this mindset is just going to be bad for anyone's mental health.
My favourite thing as a person whose gender is literally all over the place is getting to express that through the characters I draw. For ME, this mainly happens through Sirius because his "canon" is this very HETERONORMATIVE man. The freedom of him being able to step away from that and to be allowed to be whatever he wants to be on that day is just wonderful. Sirius, for me, is a reminder that no matter what you're born as or whatever people say you should be, it does not say anything about how you feel or express yourself.
Remus will forever keep evolving for me. He's also allowed to be whoever he wants to be. When I read fics he looks different in every single one. And if you actually paid attention to my art, you can see that he does not always look the same. For me, Remus is a comfort. He will always be a long, wet noodle with bad knees to me. He will always have his scars and his freckles, and those are what make him beautiful. I'm not sure why people immediately assume this is something that makes him "the man" or "the top". If that's what you're thinking when you see them, then there's something gone wrong on your side because you are deciding what a queer relationship is supposed to look like, when in fact you are the one being homophobic and heteronormative.
Also that my Sirius is shorter and more gender-y so to say, does not mean he can't kill a bitch on sight. He could break Remus in half in a second if he wanted to.
Anyway, I'm off to draw some dead gay wizards in whatever way I want to <3 love you guys. Truly the majority of you make me feel safe and seen, and I couldn't have wished for a more supportive community
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years ago
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okay okay rapid fire spider-verse thots fresh out of the theater, trying to minimize spoilers but jesus
da Vinci-looking Vulture... very cool
the art on Gwen's earth in general is SO cool
in general the animators were just SHAMELESSLY showing off with this one and it rules so hard
Rio Morales animated milf of all time
truly do not understand what all of you see in Miguel tbh that man suuuuuucks!! kill!!
Peter B is also on my shit list tbh. Gwen going along with this is understandable, she's literally a homeless teenager in a bad position to fight against adult spiders making decisions, but Peter... come on dude...
truly they HAD to leave Pav out of the middle of the movie because he would have sided with Miles (you think he would want Inspector Singh to die!! fuck no!!) and he's perfect so he would have just effortlessly swept the floor with every other spider-person
Gwen is flirtatiously trans coded and responds to Spider-Man at least once, congrats to her on the fun gender
Jessica's design is so cool but they made her such a cop... god I hope she's coming around in the next movie
cannot wait to see gifs of this movie slowing down every frame to point out every individual background spider-person
the fucking. the family of it all. Miles' parents afraid to let him grow up and Gwen's dad unable to accept the truth about his daughter and Miguel trying to raise a daughter who wasn't supposed to be his and Peter B's baby girl and Jessica Drew's visible baby bump and the spiders' collective miserable certainty that they are DEFINED by the trauma of losing someone they love.
something something Miles' parents and the spider society have the same problem - being afraid of change from what they thought was The Right Way To Do Things - but Miles' parents love and trust him to make the right choices beyond their understanding while Miguel and the other spiders are too hurt by their own traumas to imagine someone else thriving without it
also fuck all of them the boy's uncle died in front of him after trying to kill him HAS HE NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH
Hobie's soooo annoying (affectionate) but also right about, like, literally everything AND good with babies to boot
the whole ending is so ‼️‼️‼️‼️
the thing with Miles and Uncle Aaron at the end... you know the thing... DELICIOUS au right there tell me everything about that shit
the fucking end man
I've NEVER been in a theater where everyone collectively screamed @ the end of a movie fuck fuck fuck. there's cliffhangers and then there's THIS
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makeyoumine69 · 4 months ago
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Flesh n' Bones | Hospital AU (INTRO)
PAIRING: Doctor!Patrick Bateman x gn!Nurse!Reader
SUMMARY: My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st Street in New York City. I work as a surgeon at St. Pierce's Hospital—one of the most upscale medical centers in Manhattan—which happens to be owned by my father. And even though I hate my job, sometimes I can find a little bit of fun in making the experience of my patients in the hospital really unforgettable. Not to mention the dozens of missing nurses who definitely regretted crossing the threshold of St. Pierce's Hospital, but who cares—I was the best thing that ever happened to them.
CONTAINS: Swearing, medical procedures, evil plans, gaslighting, pain, blood and injury, interns & internships, power dynamics, flirting, perversion, pet names, Patrick Bateman's POV.
WORDS: 2.4k
A/N: Hello my dears! This story is based on Hospital AU by @peepoo79! Since the first day I saw her Hospital AU comic I was obsessed with this idea so I decided to write it! Since I am not a doctor myself, some things might not be that accurate to medical standards, but I am always open to critique. As always, I hope you enjoy it! Also, many thanks to @mothhmannn for the amazing Patrick art!
LINKS: [MASTERLIST]; [AO3].
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October 28, 1987.
Today started so shitty that I didn't even want to go to work, but how could I? I was a fucking surgeon who was supposed to save lives, and when I finally arrived at St. Pierce's Hospital, several nurses crowded around me and started bitching about some shitty stuff I didn't even care about.
"Dr. Bateman, your intern has arrived and is waiting for you in your office," one of the nurses said, handing me a folder of papers. "They seem to be very shy, so please treat them right."
Scowling, I took the papers and nodded. "Uh…Thank you."
Without further ado, I walked past another nurse and down the long corridors, avoiding all of my coworkers as I tried to concentrate on the music blaring from my Walkman headphones. Stopping at the door to my office, I made sure my hair was neatly slicked back before opening the door and stepping inside to see a beautiful person sitting in the chair. The blue medical uniform fit them so well that I even wanted to compliment them, but I stopped myself and just offered them a handshake instead.
"Well, hello there, my name is Dr. Bateman," I smiled and continued to examine my new plaything. "It's...uh...nice to see some young blood in our hospital these days."
You were embarrassed so quickly, probably from such a warm welcome, which was more of an exception for me than a regular thing.
"Thank you, Dr. Bateman...it's an honor to be your intern," you replied politely, trying to hide your nervousness as your hands visibly shook. "This hospital is so...amazing! Literally everything I have seen so far is amazing...including this office!"
The office did look luxurious. Everything screamed wealth and prestige, including the wooden desk and a high-end clock on it, the way you looked at the white leather couch in the corner of the room probably sent shivers down your spine, and somehow I really hoped it did.
"So...when can we start?" You asked as you watched me flip through your portfolio, my face stoic, blank, and absolutely unreadable.
As I stopped flipping through the documents and frowned to add some tension between us, I looked at you stealthily out of the corners of my eyes, and when I saw you chewing on your lower lip, I smiled in wicked satisfaction, but that smile never reached my eyes.
"It's very inspiring that you're so eager to get started," I said, placing several pages on the desk, then picking up my Montblanc pen to make some notes. "I see you've been studying pretty well...considering your grades."
Another shy chuckle fell from your lips at my words. "Oh, I did my best," you replied, settling more comfortably in your chair. "Although I didn't really want to reflect on my college years."
"Why?" I asked, writing down all the personal information I could get from your file, including your address, phone number, blood type...
"It was..." your voice wavered and you paused, causing me to look up at you again. "...hard as hell."
"As it should be. Our jobs require hard work as we carry a huge responsibility on our shoulders," I grinned, closing the folder before I could see the name of the college.  "So where did you study exactly?"
Just as you were about to answer, a loud knock on the door rang through the office and I couldn't help but grumble in anger.
Can I have a break, for fuck's sake!
"Come in," I almost barked, my attention shifting away from you as I saw a nurse - one of the hottest hardbodies in our hospital - walk in. "Courtney? What happened?"
"Dr. Bateman..." She walked over to my desk, completely ignoring your presence. 
"Yes, Courtney?" My patience was about to explode if she didn't answer right away.
"I know you told us not to bother you with non-emergent cases, but other surgeons are busy," she stammered as our gazes met, her blue eyes seeming to brighten even more. "We have a girl whose hand is so full of broken glass, can you please examine her?"
I sighed before glancing quickly at you, a little impressed that you still hadn't said a word. "Does she have insurance? How old is she?"
"Uh," Courtney hiccuped, looking at the patient's medical card. "I checked her insurance, it's valid and... she's nineteen."
"Nineteen?" I replied, suddenly feeling excited. "Well, I think this can be a good start for your internship. What do you think?"
Courtney seemed to finally notice that we were not alone, her plump lips pursed back into a thin line, and I really wanted to laugh at her reaction, but I told myself to stay professional. 
"I'm ready when you are, Dr. Bateman," your suddenly confident voice sounded so challenging that it struck a chord in my chest and brought back a long forgotten feeling of thrill. "I'm sure we'd make a great team under your guidance."
How sweet.
I managed to hold back puke at such a silly, saccharine statement. It reminded me of the cliché every doctor used whenever someone asked them why they chose to work in a hospital.
'Oh, we want to save people's lives! And we're not doing it because doctors have almost the highest salaries in the country!'
I grinned insistently, reveling in my own sense of superiority.  "All right then," I stood up and put on my doctor's coat over my custom-made scrubs with my initials on them. "Courtney, give the medical card to the intern."
The woman froze in shock. "But...but I thought I would assist you..."
I rolled my eyes as I checked myself in the mirror, adjusting the collar of my scrubs and pulling up the sleeves a bit to reveal my Rolex. "I think I made it very clear that your help won't be needed this time.”
If we were alone, I would probably just boff her before doing my work and that would help me get rid of her until the next time, but hell no, now I had a pain in the ass. And why should I have to teach an intern when I didn't even ask for one?
Meanwhile, you were waiting for me at the door, holding a medical card to your chest as if Courtney or I were about to snatch it from your hands. After I was completely satisfied with my appearance, I pinned my ID badge to my chest and walked to the door, trying not to stare too much at Courtney's ass while she was doing something at my desk that I never really bothered to know.
"You know what," I stopped suddenly before leaving. "Wait for me here," the blonde nurse turned to look at me, still bent over the table. "We'll discuss your new assignment."
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A few minutes later, we finally entered the Surgery Division, and since you were a newbie here, I had to guide you all the way, telling you some things from time to time, and at some point I realized that I didn't really hate it, because I could blather on about being a super professional surgeon, and this whole place being mine.
Just like the whole hospital.
"I think this is our ward," I muttered and opened the door to let you in. " C'mon, don't be shy." I pushed you forward a bit before closing the door behind you.
The patient—a young red-haired girl with big green eyes whose tight top stuck to her chest so that her nipples poked out—looked at us the moment we entered the ward. 
"Oh, finally," she mumbled in sheer annoyance, her right hand covered in blood-stained bandages. "I was beginning to think everyone had forgotten about me."
Still nervous, you cleared your throat and quickly looked down at the medical card. "Sorry for the long wait, Miss...Miss Ray," you managed to smile, even though you looked like a patient who was afraid to get treatment, but not her, "My name is (y/n) and this is Dr. Bateman, he's one of the best surgeons in this hospital."
One of the best?
Your slightly incorrect comment made me furrow my brow, but in the next second I was smiling seductively at the girl whose scrutinizing look I couldn't miss. She was pretty attractive, hell, just the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra made her attractive. 
With practiced ease, I put on medical gloves after washing my hands very meticulously. Then I glanced at the patient's medical card, not taking it in my hands, but letting you hold it for me.
"Can I take a look?" I finally asked, taking a seat next to the examination table and putting the mask on. Carefully I began to unfold the bandages, the little whimpering the girl made gave me undeniable pleasure. "Well, that doesn't look too bad," I said when I could finally see the wound, and several pieces of glass had sunk quite deep into her flesh. "How did you manage that?"
The girl blushed as I began to examine her forearm, moving higher up to her shoulder, though it wasn't really necessary. I just loved how soft her skin was, as much as I could tell by feeling it through the elastic material of my gloves.
"I...I accidentally broke the mirror." She replied, her breathing uneven and her pulse quickening as I took a moment to check her. "My name is Liza, by the way."
I chuckled charmingly before turning to look at you, as you stood behind my back, watching my work very intently. "Can you bring me forceps? And...a scalpel?"
"Scalpel?" You replied a little confused.
"Yes," I confirmed and repositioned Liza's arm for better access. "And I'll also need a suture kit."
The girl tensed at my words that I would need a scalpel. "Is it...necessary?"
"Hmm?" I hummed, asking her a silent question while you busied yourself with preparing the instruments. 
"A scalpel...are you going to make an incision?" Liza asked, giving me a pleading glare, her fear was palpable in the air and I couldn't help but savor it.
"I just want all the instruments to be close by in case I have a need for them, that's all. Now please relax." I murmured this with fake sympathy before resuming the examination, pressing down on one of the shards and making Liza whimper. "Shh, it's okay."
The redhead frowned in pain. "It hurts...doctor...it hurts so much!"
When I heard you return, I removed my fingers from the wound. "All right, no nerve damage and that's good." I smiled, obviously lying, my hand was already extended, ready to take the forceps.
"Your forceps, doctor," the way you said 'doctor' made my eyes glow with a mischievous spark. "Clean and sterilized, just like the scalpel and suture kit."
"Very well," I replied, feeling a chill in the metal in my hand. "Put them here," I tapped the spot on the examination table, wondering how you would do that. "And where's your mask?"
Confused, you stuttered. "Oh...yeah...sorry," you mumbled in embarrassment before putting on a mask. "I'm still a little nervous."
Liza knitted her eyebrows in a skeptical way that almost made me burst out laughing.
Okay, now I'm really starting to like this.
"Don't worry, my pill fairy," I watched you place a metal tray with instruments on the spot I showed you. "It's your first day in the hospital...it's...always a little nerve wracking."
As soon as I said it, you stopped in your tracks, and even though your face was covered by the mask, I was pretty sure you were so damn embarrassed that I was going to burn my finger off your cheek. You didn't make any comments though, which made me a little frustrated, but I didn't show it, I took the forceps more comfortably in my hand and began to remove the broken glass from Liza's shaky arm. The way I used the instruments was always mesmerizing - a work of art - as some nurses said, including Courtney, but today I was trying my best because I wanted to impress you. Shard by shard, I took them all out without causing any pain, something I usually couldn't find anything to be proud of.
"Done," I muttered, throwing the last piece of glass into the steel bow. "You took it so bravely."
The redhead smiled tiredly, trying not to look down at her hand. "Thank you, Doctor."
"You're welcome, sweetheart," I allowed you to clean the wound with the antiseptic and dab it with a swab. "It's my job, after all. Now, (y/n), can you please show me how you were taught to make stitches?"
"Of course, Dr. Bateman," you replied without hesitation, and this kind of obedience seemed to become my personal drug.
Standing up, I took a moment to admire how your uniform accentuated all of your curves, especially the roundness of your ass and the arch of your hips.
Shit, maybe I shouldn't have let Courtney stay in my office?
With these thoughts I leaned against the white wall and took off my mask as I suddenly felt a strong urge to smoke, luckily I still had the box of cigars my father had brought me from Cuba. I imagined inhaling the sharp scent of snuff when Liza's sudden whimper pulled me out of my trance.
"Can I have an anesthetic?" She asked, squirming in her place as she watched you prepare a suture kit.
"Just a local one," I muttered, a bit annoyed. "That will be enough. (Y/n), what should you do before using anesthesia?"
My question made you freeze. "Ask the patient about any allergies?"
"Right, but in this case you can find all the information on the medical card," I took off the gloves and took the card in my hands. "Well, I don't see anything that would prevent us from using bupivacaine."
As Liza sighed with relief and I watched you take a syringe, I had to admit that I was amazed at how carefully and attentively you worked.
Maybe you're not gonna get kicked out of the hospital as fast as I thought.
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P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!
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ozzyspace · 2 months ago
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KINDERGARTEN 2024 SECRET SANTA SIGNUPS ARE NOW OPEN!
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Hello everyone! December is coming, so i’ve decided to host a Secret Santa Gift Exchange for the Kindergarten Fandom! 🎊🎉 @chantilly6761 will be helping in the event to assign everyone their gift recipient (because I also want to join and I feel it’s inappropriate if I literally go up to someone and go “hEyy you have to make a gift for me uwu” like what) So please look out for her DM’s!
MORE INFORMATION AND SIGNUP LINK UNDER THE CUT!
What is a Secret Santa?
It’s basically a gift exchange, where lots of people join and each are assigned a recipient to get a gift for. But they must not tell anyone else, that’s why it’s called a Secret Santa! It makes for a fun surprise when you get your gift! Traditionally, it’s done in real life where people can buy or make gifts for their recipient, but since this is online, we’ll be gifting art, writing, or other types of media? instead! Creations you can easily gift online!
When do signups last? The period of time we get to make our gift? When do we start gifting?
Signups : Starts at 27th October, 2:50 PM EST —> Ends at 2nd November, 11:59 AM EST
Secret Santa Assignments : Around 2nd November, 12:00 PM EST. Expect DM’s from @chantilly6761 , not me!
Drop Out Period : You have until 20th November to drop out if you change your mind. Don’t expect me to be more understanding if you attempt to drop out after that.
Check-in Progress : On 30th November and 22nd December.
Gift Posting Time! : From 28th December, 12:00 AM EST —> To 1st January 2025, 12:00 AM EST
Basically, you’ll have time from 3rd of November till the 28th of December to make your gift! That’s almost two months!
Any rules?
Keep your assignment a secret, this is crucial! That’s what puts the secret in Secret Santa after all!
It’s basic decency to provide a gift with content your recipient specifically asked for <3 just saying
No using Picrews or Gacha to make a gift. Please put in the effort.
No NSFW, sexualization of the characters, pedoph*lia, or inc*st AT ALL.
When specifying what you want for your gifts, it absolutely has to be Kindergarten related! Sorry! This is a Kindergarten event after all. (Yes, you can ask for content of your Kindergarten OC’s!)
Please only ask to switch recipients if you are extremely uncomfortable with the request/recipient. Asking to switch is not something to exploit.
Do NOT fill out joke forms. Please only fill in all your official information for the event. Remember you can only send 1 form.
When the time comes, tag your gift with #kg2024secretsanta !
I trust that everyone will remain courteous and respectful for the event.
What can I make for my recipient?
Art and writing are the two main mediums you can use in this event. If you have any other specific medium you want to use, you’ll have to ask me and/or your recipient!
How will I be able to ask my recipient questions if they’re not supposed to know their Secret Santa?
You can ask @chantilly6761 to help deliver the message!
WHERE’S DO I SIGN UP WHERE’S THE REGISTRATION LINK
chill bro it’s right here
Thank you for reading, I hope you’ll participate! You can ask me if you have any questions <3
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fionnaskyborn · 3 months ago
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i was actually cooking with gas with this one ngl. world's most normal and least traumatized twenty-six-year-old's grand return
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oh wait no i am actually not going to bed just yet hang on
#like damn man imagine getting kidnapped by some random dude who inexplicably just has everything go his way and being forced to join his#military corpo at the ripe old age of 26. would that be fucked up or what#and then he gets stockholm'd into thinking that This Is Good For Him And Fun‚ Actually for the next three years until it all blows up in#his face (quite literally)#i like to think that he went out of his way to become a half-spy out of spite. as an act of rebellion. at least somewhat.#there HAS to have been some sort of satisfaction gathered from the fact that you are stealing money from the shadow government and giving#it to someone who very explicitly wants nothing to do with the shadow government#and then he gets left to die in the middle of nowhere#while the person who ruined his life runs off on a sick ride to do more crimes because fuck all of us i guess#as you can tell i am Very Mentally Ill about the one concept art he has of himself with his hair flowing around wild and free#it damages me#constantly#and then he turns himself into this sleazebag metrosexual businessman persona and kills his true self in order to fully embrace that false#image of himself. do you ever think about how much shorter this entire franchise would've been if the concept of searching for excuses for#your own abuse didn't exist. i sure do quite a lot#never really drawn him with these prominently dark eyes but they look REALLY nice on him. even if they're not ''lore accurate'' per se#they help to sell the vibe of young man who has witnessed Horrors Beyond Human Comprehension#i really really like this piece#freaking love this guy man#logs#i still need a tag for random bullshit doodles#in the time between me making this artwork and me posting this the tiniest pair of droplets of what is presumably water somehow managed to#land on the paper#and it's not like it messes up the artwork but it's fucking me up interior design feng shui style#THE VAST BLANK SPACE ON THE PAPER IS SUPPOSED TO REMAIN BLANK DAMMIT#anyway NOW i go to bed goodnight gang o7#and for whoever somehow miraculously managed to get to the end of this. here. take some for the road#🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪
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always-just-down-the-street · 3 months ago
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INANIMATE INSANITY 16 SPOILERS AHEAD!
ALSO EYESTRAIN WARNING!
Also this fan-art is based on the theory I made here, so please read this before checking out the fan-art below!
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You beg MePhone to say he's lying. That you're real, that you were never supposed to win, that your conquest to save everyone from themselves hasn't been anything short of the only lie bigger than your continued existence. You try to think back to who you used to be and you can't, it hurts so much, she's dead and it's your fault, you knew you were unsalvageable but you didn't know it permeated so far into your being. The gilded cage you lost the key to. You feel yourself crack again and you pray it'll be quick but no, you just sit there, broken, crying, screaming. A winner forced into the role of the villain, the liar, the freakshow.
The only grace you can hope for is that if you go completely insane, maybe you'll finally be more like her again.
You stare at her. You see every day you had fun with her back in the first season, when things were simple and the world felt like it actually made sense. When you weren't burdened by the knowledge of what you really are. You can't help but laugh- why should you be so surprised? You were only ever meant to take the shape of the vessel you were given, who cared if it was a physical one or not? You think back to every day you saw her in the corner of your eye, watching you prance around in the hotel you stole from her. In the life you stole from her. She missed that and she missed them but she definitely did not miss you. You wouldn't even be surprised if she hates you, and the worst part is she has every right to. MePhone wanted you to be the villain, the person everyone hates, but things went wrong and she was forced to take that role instead. But now the truth is out. Her last good deed was saving you from yourself. You're still the villain.
And somehow you're the most surprised of them all.
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The joy of being an artist and a theorist is that sometimes I get such a cool idea I can express it in both ways.
Yes, this is a sequel to my Netflix Trip picture with Knife and Suitcase, this time featuring our season one finalists OJ and Taco and Kikuo's Hole-Dwelling! (Originally it was Puppet Loosely Strung by The Correspondents but Hole-Dwelling actually goes INSANE with the theory.) It's based on the theory that I had posted of last, which (and I might go back to the original post to add this) I have now given an official title: The Misremembered Lanes Theory! Or AU, if this gets deconfirmed. You never know! But yeah, it is named after the Season 1 finale.
Just like last time, the models were done in Blockbench, this one was a lot harder because I had to wrangle with stuff like OJ's transparency, trying to pick the right face/expression for Taco- there was a version of this image where Taco had just gone. Completely mad/feral, but it didn't look as good as I wanted it to...but, I think I finally got around to a fun result in the end. Speaking of fun facts, my favorite little design thing I did for this: OJ and Taco's strings are colored like each other! Puppets literally and helplessly ensnared in each other's role. :)
Plus I already have an idea of who I might do a piece of next, so that'll be fun! So I hope you all enjoy this piece as much as you did the last piece and the theory itself, all fan-art is appreciated, and thank you for reading this far!
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