#but it's sticky and I hate how it feels
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unusuallysubtext · 4 months ago
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anyone else love their man hormones until they have to wax to feel more feminine/comfortable lol
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ionomycin · 5 months ago
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inhale, hold
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theinkbunny · 9 months ago
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”oh you want to keep that? It’s so girly are you even trans?”
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(Rant in tags if you wanna read it ig)
#Mom yelled at me bc I wanted to keep a dress that had memories attached to it#I hate dresses but look.#It has a stain on it where my friend who moved far away dropped some paint on it where my thigh would be#It has a loose string tied sloppily into a flower from a friend who had issues speaking her feelings and instead acted them#It has discoloured patches from my old friend who I haven’t been able to talk to in months hugging me and her bracelets rubbing against it#It has memories attached to it#Just like how my purple coat does#I always have a bag of mint tea in it because a while back somebody got me a huge pack of it during a secret Santa because they noticed -#- i had a stuffy nose during the winter due to allergy’s and often couldn’t breathe properly#I have thousand of sticky notes of a made up language somebody in my class made and wanted me to be in#Hell even my shoes show this sorts of stuff.#My converse that I wore for so long the laces tore? They’re covered in writing from my friend who’s a poet at heart#My big#chunky platforms? Filled with sparkles and dust from a party my friend had#For crying out loud soon I’m gonna be filling my room with Sanrio and feather stickers#Because everytime my ex gf sees me (we’re still friends btw) she always manages to put a sticker somewhere on me#MY SKETCHBOOKS TOO. Full of little doodles and hearts and paint splatters and everything you can think of.#My notebooks for writing? I forgot it a week i went off for surgery and I came back to it full of stories I liked and stores that had them-#For cheap because they knew my family wasn’t doing too well. And full of notes of them missing me#Seriously like I have a string on my wall full of notes from them because that’s been my pickmeup for whenever I’m not on here#It’s pathetic I know I just don’t care. I love them and I know they love me too. I hope they’re well
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dewgongs · 20 hours ago
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed t
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tamagotchikgs · 2 months ago
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looking at the scar on my arm everyday feels like a reminder im never going to be ok, im never going to be human i ruined it after all the years i held myself back i finally severed the line i had at any chance of one day belonging
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keeps-ache · 3 months ago
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had a really good pear today! also woke up nicely, so :3
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 4 months ago
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it’s not fair that so much of my memory and cognitive function is tied up in something I cannot control or reasonably prevent
#blue chatter#EMDR therapy is genuinely helpful#but I’m starting to hate how much it impacts my ability to function afterwards#I don’t wanna feel like my consciousness is detaching from reality like a moist sticky note after every session#I don’t want to have gaps in my memory for hours afterward#it’s not fair that other people inflicted all these traumatic experiences onto me#and now I have to process them and suffer the consequences#I told my therapist today that I’m angry at myself for not being able to spin enough plates#that if I had just been more attentive and had more energy and worked on my homework like I should have#I wouldn’t have suffered nearly as much from the deep distrust and constant surveillance academically#and if I hadn’t been so easy to manipulate and groom#my parents wouldn’t have had a good reason to violate my privacy and read all my text messages and browser history#I’m angry that I never earned my right to privacy#and I’m angry at my brain now (even though I know it’s unfair)#why can’t I just process this like a normal person#why do I have to have all these new scary symptoms I’m not used to#why can’t I just get therapy and face my traumas and anxieties and get over it quickly#and I know that’s unfair. and I’d never say that to somebody else.#I just want this all to be over with. I want a life where I don’t just stop functioning once a week.#I hate having to write off the rest of the day after a session because nothing gets done#and my brain turns into goo and I feel floaty and spacey and strangely unable to move or think#it’s not usually like I can’t respond at all. or pay attention. it just takes so much effort. and my body and brain feel strangely heavy#and clumsy. like I’m walking in a mech suit or something.#I want my brain back.#but I know that getting it back means doing this work now#which sucks and I don’t like it. esp since I don’t know for sure that this will ever go away.#it’s scary to lose memories of important events and lose chunks of time and feel like I can’t trust my own version of events#how can I know if I’m being gaslit if I cant trust my memory already? it terrifies me that I’m so vulnerable#anyway. rant over. sorry y’all.
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please-picturemeintheweeds · 7 months ago
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I listened to TTPD all the way through on a long drive today (probably my 4th time) and I have a lot of thoughts about privacy and photography and safety. Not sure how to approach that topic on tumblr, if at all. But all of that to say, I feel a little bit ill thinking about the remaining vaults 🥴
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basilpesto3 · 10 months ago
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There are many aspects of thr sexual experience that are gross and Yucky
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enigma-absolute · 1 year ago
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Recent reports of this mysterious web-slinging vigilante have been sweeping in all around New York City, sabotaging Oscorp public buildings with bold and decisive messages in regards to their controversial pharmaceutical developments. Though admittedly admirable, J. Jean Jamison has a different approach to this mystery 'Weaver,' contrasting her colours with the thoughts of Vivi Parkhurst in this special co-columnist edition of The Daily Bugle...
I swear, I think I blacked out at the sight of @jupiterlandings spider-verse OC under the compulsion of 'CONCEPT ART' and now I have another three pages in my sketchbook filled and I'm putting 'Hopes and Dreams' from the Weaver playlist on loop.
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hearteyesdiaz · 1 year ago
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Me: I ain't cleanin shit for my MIL this year she will literally make a tsunami of trash as soon as you clean something and no matter what anyone does it will look the same or worse the next day and-
Me 5 mins after sitting in her filthy house:
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ilostyou · 1 year ago
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life hack: keep your aloe in the fridge and put it on with a metal spoon <3
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solarpunkani · 1 year ago
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oh right one final note of the house pest saga.
I would like to emphasize that my family isn't currently having problems with spiders and roaches invading the house. Genuinely haven't seen a roach in the house in at least two months, and a spider... think last time I saw a spider large enough to be scary was like a year ago, maybe? Though I rarely see tiny ones, even.
My house isn't infested with anything. HOWEVER. The mosquitoes and house flies are getting real goddamn annoying and seem to have a knack of flying into the house whenever we open the door to let my dog out into the backyard. Even then, I'm not living in a mosquitoey haze as I type this out.
"Ani why are you clarifying this" I dunno just felt the need to.
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hellfireeddiemunson · 1 year ago
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a bitch is in need of attention (i’m bitch)
#emmy needs to wake up soon or i’ll DIE#ok sure she’s an hour behind me but she should wake up in the next hour so i can send her 482746273 pictures with hearts on them#also i am at work and the attention i get here is not wanted i want to leave the bakery today so badddddd#times going kinda fast tho i guess that’s good#i’m just like. bored whenever i don’t have customers and i literally don’t have the actual energy to do a bunch of things here bc i didn’t#feel good lastnight and i still feel a littttttleeeee weird and off so i’m like. not wanting to be here other than the fact we have gooooood#air conditioning here so i’m at least at a good temperature and not dying in the heat of my bedroom which is ATROCIOUSLY GROSS#it’s why i felt so sick yesterday i couldn’t cool off and i felt so nauseous and my head hurt and it was just a bad time#if anyone ever is thinking that maine summers aren’t bad and you should live here….no you shouldn’t bc the summers are the most humid thing#literally have had humidity from 80-99% since like. two weeks ago at least#it is disgusting !!!!!!! like how come it’s a decent temp (been in the 60s-80s lately) but the humidity just gets SO BAD you’d think it was#like 100 degrees outside!!!!! i hate it here in the summer!!!!!!!! i can handle heat i can’t handle humidity#like the air is just SO thick and sticky and wet and gross i can’t even explain to you how Awful it truly is#anyways i’m hoping it won’t be too bad by the time i get home (around 5?) and that it’ll cool down#pray for me guyssss
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homunculus-argument · 8 months ago
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Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:
If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.
If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.
I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.
There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.
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kittykatkatelol · 2 months ago
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fucking hell who knew making cookies was going to go so blehhhh
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