unusuallysubtext - Tumblr blog

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criminal profiling is just astrology for cops

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in an interesting case of linguistic convergent evolution, the english words scale, scale, and scale are all false cognates of each other

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If in my love life he doesn't look at me the way Ryan looks at Hugh, I don't want anything.

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therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

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Can we talk abt this for a sec??

Hugh saying: “That’s just like a threesome, it’s too much information.” and Ryan looking at him like this:

That is a face of panic. Here is where it gets interesting:

Hugh constantly jokes about living at Ryan’s house.

Ryan once said: “My wife starts playing sexy music, it’s hot out and she’s like “Hugh take your shirt off”.”

Blake has called Hugh her other man.

They were all spotted together.

And posed together.

They might as well be a throuple and I’m here for it

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oh my god I think I'm in love

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This is your scrolling reminder

Are you enjoying this?

Would you rather be doing something else?

If so please stop and go read your book or eat or something.

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sherlock and co amirite

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I want a BBC Merlin fanfic where Hunith visits Camelot as a surprise. Merlin doesn't know she's coming, only Gaius knows that she plans to visit. This is set in a time period where all the knights are alive (I'm looking at you Lancelot.) and Arthur is Prince, but running the Kingdom as Uther is unwell.

Hunith pulls up to Camelot and is walking towards the Castle through the citadel, burdened by her bags, when a cheerful voice rings out. "Do you need any help, miss?" It's one of the many Castle servants.

Hunith explains that she is heading to the Castle to visit her son who works there, the servant then offers to carry her bags.

"Oh I don't want to be a bother." Hunith replies

"It's no bother at all! Really, I was heading that way already." The servant insists and they both make their way to the castle, "What's your son's name by the way, I might know him if he works here."

"His name is Merlin." Hunith responds with a smile. The servant stops walking and looks at her. It's not only him that stops at this announcement.

"Y-you're Merlin's Mother?!?" A nearby servant who had been close enough to hear the conversation says in awe.

The courtyard that they're walking through gradually fills with hushed whispers as the news spreads. Everyone knows of Merlin. The Prince's manservant who had managed to not quit in the first week of serving him. Merlin, who changed the Prince from a spoiled brat into a good man whom the Kingdom was proud of and eagerly awaited the day he would be crowned King. Merlin, who had followed the Prince into battle time and time again to save Camelot.

I want a fanfiction where The Entire Of Camelot loves Merlin and is thankful for his role in making Arthur a good person. Where not only the Knights, but the Castle staff meet his mother and collectively decide that she is That Woman and treat her with Respect. Where they treat her like Royalty.

Ofc Gwaine loves her. That's his best friend's mom. Hunith looks at all the knights and adopts them on the Spot.

And Merlin is either really confused by this behavior or knows and just lets it happen.

Arthur has no idea what's going on or why but he treats her with reverence and love because that's his future Mother in Law and he's very much starved for parental affection which she gives him (and the knights) in spades.

But yes, I just want a fic of people meeting Hunith and being like "Thank you for giving birth to your son. I'd die for you both" and her being like "...please don't."

(Bonus if Leon meets her and is just like. "How did you survive being around that little shit (Merlin) for so long?" And she just laughs and gives him advice, which makes him cry because he's just so tired. #LetLeonRest2024 I will push this agenda till I die)

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food is THE love language. let me bake you some fucking bread.

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ACD writes Watson and Holmes with a wonderful chemistry and Watson and his wife have a dialogue like he has never seen as human interaction. And we shouldn’t believe these two may have something queer going on??

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if anyone is interested in reading the merlin books, but isn’t able to collect them, here’s a project some people over on twitter are working on to get them all digitalized. it’s a work in progress right now, but in time all of them should be uploaded onto here!

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artists rendition of my first day of college

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Cooking in the evening with no rush, but with love and affection

For today's @fluffbruary photo prompt! (Aaaaah, I'm on time!) But also in thanks to @iwlyanmw . You are a sweetheart.

(Did you all know making art is so much more fun when you don't stress about it being good enough? Did you know pressure (also self-set) destroys the joy of creating? Do you know the simple joy of creation?)

@totallysilvergirl @helloliriels @dontfuckmylifewtf @sussexinchelsea @loki-lock @topsyturvy-turtely @matixsstuff @ohlooktheresabee @boredsushi @ohmrshudsontookmyskull @nathan-no @astudyin221b @oetkb12 @psychosociogentleman @darkkitty1208 @zira-and-crowley @beesholmes @mydogwatson @liv-olive-oliver @tiverrr @peanitbear @sunshineinyourmind @a-victorian-girl @with-a-ghost-mr-holmes @weeesi @strawberrywinter4 @iheardyou

(Any changes to the taglist, just tell me! <3)

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gay ass detective

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ilove homosexuals i  love bisexuals  i love trans !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yayy ayyayy ayy Weare all sooo ocool