#but it's pretty good like i think i could probably just eat the gravy and noodles and that'd be a good meal on its own

[nexus-nebulae]

tempted to make some ramen but. do i have the energy for that

[intheupside]

who would survive on a deserted island (dkpitt)

Bryan Rust: I feel like Harkins probably could. He seems like a guy who would be climbing trees and cutting them down with his bare hands, maybe even chewing them down. I think he would do well.

Reilly Smith: I wouldn't say any of us! No, you know what? Harks. Harks could survive. He can probably find weird things to eat. He'd be sufficient at just getting by.

Jansen Harkins: Ned. He just seems resourceful, and I feel like he could just chill. I don't think he needs too much.

Alex Nedeljkovic: Jars. He seems like an outdoorsy guy. Survivalist? I don't know if that's a real word.

P.O Joseph. Not Ned! I'm going to say Gravy. He's from the Maritimes, I feel like they know a little about the outdoors is my guess. On a serious note, I think Ned would definitely be someone that would be good at it, just his capacity of adjusting in places. He would be good at it.

Lars Eller: Sid. He seems to be going different ways about things, about a lot of things. He doesn't rely too much on new technology, let's just say that.

Jake Guentzel: Sid. He's just an outdoorsman, that's kind of his vibe. I'm sure he could find something to live off of.

Chad Ruhwedel: Sid or Carts, or myself. They seem like they could handle themselves in a tough situation. I think I would do OK.

Kris Letang: Sid, he lives in the middle of the woods.

Erik Karlsson: Sid. I just feel like he would be very creative and would probably figure out a way to sustain himself for as long as he needed.

Valtteri Puustinen: I would say Kopi (Joona Koppanen). He's the smartest guy, I think. He knows what he's doing. I think if I went with myself? I'm dying. But he's a smart guy.

Joona Koppanen: I'll take Carts. He has the wisdom and the dad strength.

Colin White: John Ludvig. I feel like he's pretty handy, he'd like the outdoors like that.

Drew O'Connor: Luds, probably. He seems like he would. Look at him! He seems like an animal, don't you think?

John Ludvig: I'm going to say Cookie (Noel Acciari). Cookie's a burly man, he can handle himself. I'm pretty sure he'd find a way to survive wherever he was. I'll go with him.

Noel Acciari: Rudy (Chad Ruhwedel). He has a military background with his dad, he just seems handy.

Marcus Pettersson: Rudy. I think he's pretty handy, he could make something out of nothing, make himself a good shelter. That's big, I think he could build a shelter. Raks is a good fisherman, but the problem is he's alone on that island. He doesn't touch the fish, he hates touching the fish. He doesn't do it. So it'd be a problem, he'd need somebody with him.

Jonathan Gruden: I feel like Petey (Marcus Pettersson) would be good, just being around him for a little bit. He's pretty good, he could work his way around it and survive. Not OC. But P.O could maybe survive too. (Me: Half the team picked P.O for who couldn't survive.) I've got P.O's back! Maybe he's fooling me.

Magnus Hellberg: Can I pick myself? I'm really big into the outdoors and hiking, hunting, fishing. I think I've watched every season of Alone and all those survival shows. I like to be out in nature. When I think about all the guys, I feel like I'm the most nerdy with that stuff, spend a lot of time on the water. I would say myself, but in a humble way.

Rickard Rakell: I think Sid would do pretty well. I feel like he lives out in nowhere over the summer.

Sidney Crosby: I think I'd say Ricky (Rakell). He's pretty chill, I think he's got some survival instincts. He's got the tools.

Ryan Graves: Maybe Jars, I feel like he's outdoorsy.

Jesse Puljujarvi: Maybe Jarry. I heard he stays on a farm? So that's why.

Tristan Jarry: Tanger. He'd find someone to come pick him up.

[stardropsaloongossiptrain]

Bachelor/ettes and Cooking

Gonna rank how I think the marriage candidates would do in the kitchen

----

Bachelors:

Elliott -- it takes a while, but once the man has a real kitchen at his disposal and some encouragement to try, I think he would really enjoy cooking and could be very good at it! I HC him as growing up in a wealthy home where he probably wasn't allowed to cook for himself, and then the cabin has nothing... but he remembers dishes he really enjoyed. I like to think he starts cooking just trying to help out once he moves to the farm, and there is DEF a learning curve... but there's a master chef hiding in there. I can feel it.

Alex -- you do not grow up with Grannie Evelyn and not learn how to cook. Impossible. Now, he's not a fancy chef by any means, but he can make a meal without issue. If you get this man a grill, he will 1000% become Grill Master, Kiss the Cook apron wearing Grill Dad. Also, though he rarely does it, he can bake up a storm. Generally only bakes for birthdays.

Harvey -- He can cook, but only cooks healthy meals. He will need to be taught that it's okay to season your food. Brown rice, steamed veggies, and plain tofu/ chicken breasts type guy. Otherwise, it's pre-packaged frozen food. Maybe he can get better w/ encouragement but he's always going to be checking portions and making sure you eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and watch your sodium intake. The most likely bachelor to be vegetarian/ be willing to go vegetarian. Gets nauseated if he's preparing meat.

Shane -- Mid-tier like Harvey, but even though he's had kitchen access he rarely feels like cooking. He knows what seasoning is-- his usual cooking style is the exact opposite of Harvey, mostly family recipes. All flavor, calorie count who?? Loves making food covered in cheese, sauce, or gravy. His chili would win awards, but he only makes it once a year.

Sam -- He could keep himself alive if the box has directions. Anything more complicated than boxed mac and cheese, though, and he gets a little lost. Can help YOU in the kitchen very well, but to be honest he would rather be doing something more exciting.

Sebastian -- The only one who is a worse cook than him is Abigail. He is NOT allowed in the kitchen even to watch. Could burn iced tea.

---

Bachelorettes

Emily -- Oldest sister + working at the Saloon added together means she's definitely going to be a decent cook, but she genuinely enjoys cooking. She loves to experiment with different cultural dishes. She only cooks vegetarian or vegan dishes.

Penny -- She's pretty self sufficient. I don't think she knows too many recipes, but she enjoys experimenting if she moves to the farmhouse. She's very adapt at stretching a budget, and I think she would enjoy making jams/ pickles. Not the big amount the farmer does, but small batches in special flavors.

Leah -- She's a simple cook. She prefers raw dishes, or things like buddha bowls. A lot of texture and flavor. Loves using herbs and edibles from foraging locally. Leans vegetarian but doesn't mind fish from time to time.

Maru -- Maru is proficient at cooking, but I think takes after her dad too much and is very nutrient focused vs what actually makes a good meal. Occasionally makes questionable decisions in the name of efficiency. Could go from making some sort of casserole if busy w/ a project to Extremely Experimental if she has the time. No in between.

Haley -- I considered putting her higher but no. She has rarely if ever had to cook for herself before, so if she's at the farmhouse she will be surprised if you expect her to do anything in the kitchen. Eventually I think she could be fine. It's not hard. She just hates doing dishes. Enjoys baking somewhat, especially w/ Alex.

Abigail -- She eats rocks as a snack and thinks if you just crank the oven to 600 for fifteen minutes it's better than 350 for an hour. Her stomach is alien to this world. Can and will eat anything without issue.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

what do you think the chains favorite breakfast foods are (if they eat breakfast)

I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH ANSWERING THIS AND MY PHONE DIED AND DELETED EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN, DEATH AND SORROW AND DESPAIR.

Okay I'm good now.

ANYWAYS, I split you ask into two sections: first, their favorite food ever if they can get their hands on it, the second what they like to eat on the road. And then a final unhinged rant at the bottom about the one thing about teenage boys/young men and their food that I'll never understand: Bacon.

Legend--I have a feeling that he likes sweets. Specifically, waffles with whipped cream and berries. They're a little burnt, but Ravio made them for him, so he'll pretend he doesn't notice (and grows to like them better that way). On the road, he'll go for coffee/tea (he's not picky) if one of the others make it, or nothing at all.

Hyrule--does he have a favorite breakfast food? Food isn't very stable where he comes from--Legend and Wild would spoil him so much in regard of expanding his palate. But I imagine that something like a fried mixture of beef/sausage, vegetables, and a starch (perhaps an even poorer version of an already poor person food Shepherd's Pie, perhaps? it could be a breakfast food) would be a sort of filling, tasty, and easy to procure/make/preserve food that he'd like. On that note, I would say something simple, easy to get and preserve, and hardy would be his go to breakfast on the road--maybe meat jerky.

Wild--Also a sweets person. Fruit cake, cinnamon rolls, frosted cupcakes, basically all the little delicacies he could get at a dumb party 100 years ago, he ain't picky, it's for breakfast and it's fueling a day long sugar high. On the road he, unlike the other Links, can be pretty creative with his breakfasts, and he likes his spice as well. So, I think he'd like Meaty rice balls.

Four--direct this question to someone else please. He has four voices in his head fighting to answer right now, and none of them agree. I surely dont know if he doesn't.

Time--Pancakes and farm-fresh scrambled eggs and toast with jam. Malon makes it for him. What can I say. On the road he is a habitual coffee drinker, he wouldn't be functioning in the mornings without it. But he'll also take a poached egg if he has the time (heh).

Warrior--unlike Time who is a habitual coffee drinker, he is a coffee connoisseur. He likes the breakfasts they serve at the castle--a lot of meats and fruits, expensive, and on top of it all, well plated. Not to say that he can't eat simply--he was in a war, mind you--just that he prefers not to. On the road, he strikes me as the kind that would drink those tasteless quick oats (y'know you just add water, shake and go?) and also be very vocal about much time (heh) it's saving him (being none). I don't know what the Hyrule equivalent of those are.

Twilight--our favorite country boy. I think he likes a true southern breakfast. Ham and pan-fried potatoes and eggs over-easy, with a side of cheesy grits and sausage biscuits and gravy like Uli used to make for him (I HC this man has a black hole of a stomach, out of all the Links). On the road he'll inhale a boiled egg or two (salted and peppered if he's feeling fancy) that Wild made for him. I also head canon that Twilight likes tea with an intensity. And not only sweet tea, but like, ALL of the teas. He gets obsessive. I literally have in my detail/subplot tracking documents for BDOR the following entry underneath chapter 8--Tea: "Twilight’s cure to Wild’s voice is tea. His cure to life’s woes is tea."

Wind--whatever his grandma is making, probably with seafood involved. I've had a crab-spinach-egg casserole for breakfast before, it was good, so I'll give him that. On the road, I can see him packing a lot of bread and some meat (dried fish if he can get it).

Sky--This guy honestly has me stumped. Do those on Skyloft eat Loftwing eggs, or are they considered taboo? They have a lot of pumpkins around--do they incorporate them into their meals?@needfantasticstories you know a lot of Skyward Sword lore, bequeath me your wisdom. Anyways on the road he's a meat and bread person like Wind. Practical.

Now, for my rant about young men and their food quirks:

Bacon. Bacon, as I have witnessed, drives the most reasonable of men insane.

I just a few things to say about this. I have younger brothers, and I born witness to many male sleepover parties. I--as the resident nasty fe-male XD--have been (forced) to cook for them in the mornings. Set a pile of bacon in front of them (or really any meat, but I have found that bacon has the strongest affect) and they turn into WOLVES. They start to crowd around and stare as soon as they begin to smell it (which hey, give me space in the kitchen, please!), snatch it up before the grease even cools, and then retreat into their separate corners of the living room/kitchen and scarf it down, all while avoiding eye contact and projecting just how much they don't care about the bacon they're eating (perhaps so one of the others don't take notice and try to steal it). There's an odd little ritual/rules to the thing, too: for example, it's frowned upon to take more than three or four pieces at a time, there has to be enough for everyone, obviously; but if you finish a second and third serving before some poor sod stumbles in and gets himself a piece--why that is acceptable, even encouraged. But at all times, you could feel them watching each other, judging whether each person had taken acceptable amounts. 6 at once, I have determined, is veritably considered too much, as I have watched an entire group of mid-late teenage boys chase another through the house and outside for this crime of greed. Another thing was the presence of literally any other edible food. If there was anything else--eggs, fruit, even something like a few slices of unbuttered toast or coffee or juice sitting out, this reaction was largely tempered--even if none of the boys took the other foods, they would take a meager one or two pieces of bacon and be satisfied, perhaps reassured that other food was present and their hope of a filling breakfast was not in vain. Most, at that point they would restrain themselves from eating anything (other than their bacon tax) and wait so that everyone could eat together. But the mad scramble that occurs when there is bacon and only bacon in the kitchen (even if other things are cooking, nearly done, and visible to them) is otherworldly.

I never saw it with anything else, not eggs, not fruit, not even sausage or any other breakfast food. And it must be noted that I was exempt from their little ritual of judgement--perhaps as the only woman, or perhaps as the cook, I was allowed to take as much bacon as I liked from the pile, once the initial wave had attacked and retreated with their bounty (and the strips of bacon had cooled enough that mortal human hands such as my own could pick them up). And while they behaved like beasts, I was always very politely thanked for making breakfast once it was over and the frenzy had abated.

Anyways, your ask got me thinking about Malon making a pile of bacon for the boys, activating the beforehand undiscovered "PANIC! BACON!" mode in their brains, and just being utterly confused as they turn into animals. Just the boys descend, and then a few shouts of "Thanks, Malon!" drift in on the wind as they scatter like racoons with treasure, leaving an empty plate spinning behind them.

[cluuny]

Symmetry was not, even remotely, in love with Joe Hills.

They were hardly friends, she avoided him as much as possible, he was irritating and not even that pretty and, to boot, she didn’t like men. So.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t like him,” Bratwurst said, simply, adding yet another scoop of gravy to his breakfast sausage patties. “I don’t like women and even I had a crush on PearlescentMoon.”

“Didn’t she try to kill you?” Hels snapped.

“Yeah,” Brat sighed dreamily. “It was great.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Symmetry said, definitively, spinning on her heel and marching toward their usual table. “I don’t like him. Besides, I thought we agreed not to talk about him? Hidden recorders, hello?”

“There aren’t any,” EX frowned, looking up from their pancakes. “Wormman promised.”

Xornoth and Symmetry made eye contact, before Xornoth puffed up xeir cheeks and went back to eating. They all knew better than to try to convince EX that Wormman may not have their best interests in mind. No one knew what his motives may be, but they were almost definitely not good.

The five of them settled around the little table in the back of the dining area, just like they had every day for the last month. No one was sure how they’d become such a tight knit group after nearly two months of avoiding each other, but they were, and here they were, a quarter of a year after first meeting, the only people in the world they could trust.

“I don’t like Joe.” Symmetry said, again, seeing Bratwurst open his mouth. “And I don’t know why you think that.”

“I mean, he clearly likes you,” Xornoth said, calmly. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Okay Sym.”

“I mean it, you’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m just saying,” The demon leaned forward, tilting their head. “Isn’t it funny he comes in through your window every night, spends hours talking to you?”

“I think we should kill him,” Bratwurst said, abruptly and loudly. “I think that’s a reasonable outcome.”

“Don’t you dare,” EX said, through a mouth of pastry. “We’d probably have to pick up litter or something for that.”

“Or just get sent back where we came from,” Hels muttered. “Probably that.”

Everyone fell silent at that.

That’s another thing- they knew this was temporary. As soon as Wormman got what he wanted out of them, they were gone. Symmetry was going back to a fake name and a lonely, paranoid life, EX was going back to the void, Xornoth was going back to that amulet, Bratwurst was going back to the other dimension, and Hels was going back to… well… hell. They probably didn’t have much time left.

“It’s not a bad thing if you like him,” EX said, quietly. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.”

“Why not?”

(Because the ‘me’ he knows is someone else? Because I’m not a real person? Because I’m the funhouse mirror twisted version of a shadow of a woman?)

“Because this is stupid,” She huffed. “Like you’re not madly in love with Xornoth as we speak.”

“I’m sorry?!” EX spluttered. “I’m- what?!”

The table dissolved into chaos and stayed that way until Wormman called them in for their morning gardening session, and no one brought up Joe for the rest of the day.

[laureliciousdefinition]

Late Night Talking | Jim Hopper X Reader

Summary: you visit Hop on a slow night at the station.

Rating: 18+!!!! Smut!!!! Minors go away

Warnings: oral (f receiving), dirty talk, mentions of afab genitalia

A/N: this is porn with plot. I will eventually get off this hopper smut train but for now?? Choo choo baby

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The jingle of the bell on the front door to the police station snapped Hopper out of his dozing state. He knew he should probably be on higher alert with the tendencies of Hawkins, but the night had been going painfully slow, and his chair was practically molded to his back after years of use- not to mention the steady pour of rain hitting the roof of the building, all making it dangerously comfortable and tempting to take a nap. He moved his feet off of his desk and scooted back to peek out the door and inspect the visitor.

“Hello?” He called out, unable to see anyone.

“It’s just me,” you responded, coming into his view carrying two plates covered with foil.

Jim couldn’t hide his smile upon seeing you, wearing a long, black rain jacket that covered your work clothes that you still wore despite it being well past 9:00 PM. Your eyes were tired, makeup dulled since you’d applied it that morning, and your hair a bit messy after walking in the rain from your car,but you’d never looked more beautiful in his eyes. Truthfully, he couldn’t care less how you looked, he loved every version.

He stood to move to you. “What are you doing here?” He asked as he pulled you into his side, pressing a kiss to your head.

“I figured you were hungry, Ms. Florence mentioned that you tended to get that way on late shifts. So I brought you some dinner and company,” you explained, holding out one of the plates to him.

Upon taking it from you and pulling the foil back, he was pleasantly greeted by a small piece of chicken covered in a light gravy, a scoop of green beans, a small pile of potato salad, and about four different casserole samples. It was still warm, and extremely enticing, so he didn’t hesitate to grab two plastic forks from the box on the filing cabinet behind him and hand one to you before digging in.

“Retirement party tonight?” He guessed as he sampled the potato salad.

You nodded, stomach rumbling as you shrugged out of your coat and sat in one of the chairs opposite his desk. You’d hesitated getting a full plate at the actual party, knowing you wanted to meet Jim and eat together, but merely grazing on pretzels and nuts had hardly tided you over. Once you swallowed your (admittedly too large) first bite, you responded.

“Mr. Walton. Finally stepping down, I think he’s been with the company since it opened,” you wiped the corner of your mouth with one of the napkins you’d brought.

Hopper hummed. “He’s been there forever. Since I was a kid,”

You held back a small smile as you thought about the man in his younger days, running around Hawkins causing endless trouble, no doubt. Who knew he’d end up being the one stopping the troublemakers?

The two of you eventually fell into a comfortable silence as you ate. It was peaceful like this- the rain, the quiet still of the empty station (minus Hopper, of course), bellies full of good food made by the older women at the office. Even if it wasn’t a ‘traditional’ dinner, per say, you were both happy and content this way. Once you were both finished and the plates had been discarded, you left your chair in favor of a spot on his desk where you could look down to him.

“Anything interesting happen tonight?” You asked.

He mindlessly fiddled with the hem of your skirt, looking up at you. “I replaced the dead bulb in the break room,” he said, deadpan.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Wow, maybe I need to leave so you can get back to it, you seem pretty swamped.”

He echoed your laugh before swiveling his chair so he was directly in front of you. From this angle you were able to swipe a few stray hairs out of his face and really take him in; you always loved the way he looked in his uniform. It fit him so well, the sleeves pulling on his large biceps and the way it highlighted his belly. Even if he did look bored out of his mind after the long night, he was handsome as ever in your eyes. Placing your hands on his cheeks, you leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.

His hands went to the tops of your thighs as he returned the kiss. “Dunno, maybe you should stick around. You can help me do some pretty exciting paperwork.”

Once again you laughed before opening your legs slightly to invite him closer. He gladly obliged, moving to the edge of his chair and placing his hands gently on your hips. He gave you a gentle smile before leaning in once more to kiss you, this time with more power behind it. You inhaled sharply as he slipped the end of his tongue into your mouth, which you fervently countered with your own tongue.

You pulled back and rested your forehead on his. “Maybe we could do something other than paperwork,”

“You tryin’ to seduce me?”

Your eyes darted away from his and a sly smile crossed your face. “Maybe. Is it working?” You raised a brow.

His voice came out more soft than before. “Just a little.”

Jim’s hands moved from your hips to your backside, cupping-and promptly squeezing- what he could from that position. You giggled a bit and leaned back in to kiss him, your own hands pressing to his chest, you could feel the edge of his badge under your right palm, and part of his name tag under your left. You stayed in this position for what seemed like forever, though you couldn’t complain with how sweetly the man was kissing you. Finally, he moved from his spot between your knees, sitting back in his chair to admire you.

“You look pretty tonight,” he spoke, almost shyly. The words were a bit dorky, you could admit, but they brought a blush to your cheeks regardless.

Before you had a chance to respond, he grabbed one of your legs and bent it before placing it on his knee. He got to work undoing the buckle at your ankle, then repeated the process on the other leg. Once you were shoeless, he ran his hands up your nylon-covered calves, nearly no pressure in his touch. When he reached the hemline of your skirt, he slid his hands up slowly until they reached your hips again, thought this time uninhibited by the thick outer layer.

He leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to your inner knee, then the lower part of your inner thigh. Your eyes were trained on him, knowing where this was likely going, but not daring to move a muscle.

“Can I take these off?”

It took you a moment to find your words. “Yes,” your breathy tone was momentarily embarrassing, already rather aroused from simply being kissed.

You put your weight into your hands and lifted your bottom off the desk, allowing him to move his hands higher and pull the black tights down. He gently pushed your knees open more to take in the sight of your simple blue panties. Even though the two of you had been in similar positions before, you’d never done anything like this in his office. It felt dirty, wrong… but also extremely sexual. You knew it was unlikely you’d be caught, but the thrill of breaking (in reality non-existent) rules sent a shiver up your spine.

Bunching up your skirt for you to grab onto, he continued with his ascending kisses. “Lay down.” He mumbled into your upper thigh.

You obliged, of course, turning to make sure you wouldn’t crush anything important with your back before laying down on your elbows. His eyes flicked up to yours, blue eyes seemingly darker now. He looped his pointer fingers in the waistband of your underwear and pulled them down, you once again lifting your hips to assist him. You were now bare to him, trying to calm your heart with the anticipation.

He pressed another tender kiss right at the crook of your thigh, mirroring the action on your other leg. His mustache tickled the sensitive skin in the area, though the sensation was easy to ignore when he moved to kiss the soft curls in between the two spots.

Though it hadn’t been even a minute since he removed your underwear, you were already getting antsy. You’d been thinking about him all evening, and though you didn’t think you would necessarily act on those thoughts, now that you were in the moment you couldn’t help but be desperate for the man. He had lit a fire between your legs and was fanning the flames with every press of his lips to anywhere besides where you needed him most.

Finally you were granted relief when he placed the softest kiss yet on your clit. Upon doing so, he moved his tongue to flick over the sensitive nub. Your head rolled back when he repeated the action with more pressure.

“Been thinking about you all night,” he said before flattening his tongue and moving it upwards.

This made your hips shift up slightly, to which he responded with a contented hum. Your eyes closed without you even realizing it, brows drawing together as he increased his pace and pressure.

You felt him move his head away, causing you to open your eyes and investigate. He softly ran the top of his middle finger from your entrance up to your clit, dragging your arousal along with it. “Look at you, so wet for me already.” His tone was smug, though you knew he enjoyed this nearly as much as you did.

“Want me to touch you, baby?”

Your eyes closed again and you breathed out a ‘yes please’. He chuckled to himself before slowly moving his middle finger inside of you, giving you a second to adjust to the feeling. Though it was nothing compared to his cock, his fingers were still incredibly thick, much more so than yours. He moved it methodically, in and out. In and out. He sat this way for a few moments, taking in the sight of your wet pussy and the way you were already clenched around him. Adding his ring finger in, he pumped them one more time before returning his mouth to your clit.

“Fuck, Hop,” you moaned breathily. Your elbows began to ache, so you moved to lay completely flat on the desk. He curled his fingers into the textured spot within you, which drew out an almost pornographic moan.

You’d been more tightly wound than you thought; it had been a very, very long day at work, yes, but you could already feel the building sensation low in your stomach.

He continued moving and curling his two fingers in and out of you, and circled his tongue repeatedly. “Taste so good,” you heard him say, although it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on anything besides how fucking good he was making you feel. When you first met Hopper, you’d wrongfully assumed that based on his cocky exterior ego, he’d be a selfish lover, but upon getting to know the sweet man behind said ego, you were proven absolutely wrong. He always made sure you were completely taken care of, and was more than happy to listen and learn what made you feel the best. The first time he went down on you was a bit bumpy, but once he found his rhythm, he found it and then some.

You weren’t sure how much longer you were going to last at this rate. It was all too much in the best way possible.

“Don’t stop,” you repeated the phrase like a mantra. “Please, fuck. Don’t stop.”

He knew you were teetering on the edge, and increased the pressure just so, not changing his speed. With practice he had learned that a steady pace wins the race, and when you say ‘don’t stop’, that does not mean try to do something different to make you cum.

You sucked in a ragged breath. “Oh god,” your palm slapped against the desk. “I’m gonna cum.”

The metaphorical cord finally snapped and white-hot heat washed over you, your orgasm intense. Your walls clenched hard around his fingers, and though he removed his mouth to watch you, he didn’t stop the movement of his fingers. Doing this only drew your orgasm out more, and you cried out loudly.

When the pulsing inside of you dulled to a slight flutter, he removed his and and pressed his cheek against your thigh. You laid helplessly on the desk, arm draped over your eyes while your chest heaved and you attempted to recover. You weren’t sure how long you stayed this way, listening to the gentle rain outside as you caught your breath. You eventually opened your eyes to take in the man before you.

“You are.. god. So good at that.” You said with a short laugh. You saw and felt him laugh in response.

When you were finally able to sit up, you gave him a gentle smile and took his hand in yours, pressing a kiss to each knuckle. Turning around to examine what had been underneath you, you squeezed his hand and jokingly grimaced.

“I think I was laying on your paperwork.”

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feedback and interactions always appreciated <;33

[amazing-spiderling]

for the least favorite ask game: episode of DD? matt murdock fanon headcanon or joke? marvel movie or show? fic trope? book you had to read at school as a kid ? place you went to for fun (doesn't have to be a whole vacation destination)? meal you've had multiple times but cant say no to because its what was being served?

Least Favorite:

episode of DD?

Probably "Semper Fidelis" from season 2. I think this is one of those episodes that is just rife with all the things that made that season not work for me. The Punisher trial could have been so interesting and it gets kneecapped because Elektra is impatient. Matt makes bad decisions for no real reason and his and Elektra's stuff is treated like it's SO time sensitive, but it's really not, it's just there to throw a wrench in the works. It sticks out like a sore thumb, and I just hate when I'm watching a show and I'm yelling, "Get back to the GOOD part!"

matt murdock fanon headcanon or joke?

If I never have to hear the "What to Daredevil and Scarlet Witch have in common" joke again, that would be great. Thanks. I'll be minding my own beeswax on instagram and then a random Turkish comic meme blog will show up in my feed and I can't read the language but I *KNOW* what it says and it wasn't even that funny the first time, guys. Let it go.

marvel movie or show?

Eternals was pretty darn boring for all the people in it that I wanted to like. I got a kick out of the Bollywood bit and then... the rest just didn't hold up to even its own internal logic. It's pretty bad when the fanbase is *begging* for the movie to be quietly erased from canon.

fic trope?

Probably "Dark!" versions of characters. I realize this sounds counterintuitive, given my love of Murderdock, but I think when I've given these fics a chance, they just tend to be, "Hey if your blorbo killed 10 guys with a rock and then kissed his love interest would that be fucked up or what" and there's not a lot of... *there* there. Or else they tend to read like someone is trying to convince me how dark and edgy they are and it's just... too difficult for me to get emotionally invested. Sorry, gang. I'm a hypocrite.

book you had to read at school as a kid?

The Witch of Blackbird Pond. I was assigned this book two years in a row and was bored to tears both times. I still have no clue what it was about because I could not focus on anything, I just remember being annoyed by the protagonist. I just tried to look up a summary and my brain still rejected it. :/

place you went to for fun (doesn't have to be a whole vacation destination)?

I'm just really not a beach person. I've been to Miami and stuff and I'm like. Yep. There's water next to some sand. Can we go home now? (I prefer the atmosphere of rocky beaches. There is Alaska in my bones.)

meal you've had multiple times but cant say no to because its what was being served?

My dad was one of like 11 kids, which meant I had a lot of aunts and uncles and countless cousins and for *years* the Thanksgiving tradition was to drive two hours to my grandmother's house where dozens of people would collect for a potluck. Being a dorky sci-fi and comic book reading nerd in a family of football enthusiasts aside, this meant that Thanksgiving dinner tended to be giant aluminum pans of dry turkey, gravy with mysterious bits one person in the family liked and overdone brown-and-serve rolls. It was often the worst meal of the year for me. Eventually when I was in high school, my older sisters decided enough was enough and we had Thanksgiving at home and it turns out, I actually like turkey when it wasn't cooked 10 hours before I get to eat it.

[devouringcambridge]

Sunday Roast at The Brook

I'm not an expert, but to me, the concept of a Sunday Roast is as British as afternoon tea or adding 'innit' to the end of all your sentences. There are so many pubs that offer this quintessential British cuisine, but today, I'm reviewing the Sunday Roast offered at The Brook. Located on Mill Road, The Brook is a cozy-sized pub with a warm atmosphere and some delicious ciders available...but how does their Sunday Roast hold up?

British Top Side Roast Beef with Horseradish Sauce (15 pounds)

I had such MIXED FEELINGS about this Sunday Roast. It was a roller coaster of emotions served up with a half-vat of gravy on the side. Some bites had my eyes rolling back in my head with ecstasy. Other bites belonged in the frozen aisle of a discount grocery store. Because of this, I'll rank each item, individually, from worst to best.

6. The Vegetables

I adore roasted veggies. Throw some broccoli, carrots, onions, and cloves of garlic on a roasting pan, drizzle with olive oil, toss some salt and pepper on top, and chuck that baby into the oven and I am more than happy. But these veggies had no tales to tell - they were bland, flavorless, steamed, and unhappy. Just like me after eating the lifeless carrots.

5. Top Side Beef

Seeing as it's called a Sunday ROAST, you'd think the meat would be the star of the show. And while it looks quite nice in the picture, the beef was so dry that I had to resort to dunking it into the gravy in order to make it palatable. It also didn't have much flavor beyond the gravy itself, which leads me to...

4. The Gravy

Solidly fine, and served with a generous portion. However, could do with more of a flavor PUNCH. As it was, I used it mostly as a moist-maker.

3. The Stuffing

And all of a sudden we jump from 'solidly fine' to 'oh my god, I wish I could ask for seconds.' The stuffing is invisible in this picture, and was a surprise to me. In fact, now that I'm writing this, I'm wondering if I got a different roast than the one on the menu...perhaps a holiday offering? Because stuffing isn't mentioned in the description, and I'm just realizing that there was no horseradish sauce in sight, either...hmm, well, all's well that ends well, because I'm glad for the swap. This stuffing was moist and packed with flavor - it tasted of salt, herbs, and garlic, and had a dense, crumbly texture. My only complaint was that there was such a small amount - it hid beneath the potatoes, a noble treasure.

2. The Yorkshire Pudding

My first bite of the Sunday Roast was a chunk of the fluffy, soft Yorkshire Pudding - and I can't be certain I didn't moan. It's been six months since the last time I had a Yorkshire Pudding, and I now realize that that is far too long. Honestly, I know a lot of people rag on British food, but the Yorkshire Pudding deserves to be appreciated internationally. I just wish I could describe it better, for those who've never tried one. It's almost like...the love child of a souffle, a pancake, and pita bread...but also different from all of those things. The texture is NEXT LEVEL. So freaking fluffy. And the perfect vessel for soaking up pan sauces and gravy. Ugh, I would have traded the beef for another Yorkshire Pudding with no hesitation. And honestly, the Yorkshire Pudding was probably THE best thing on the plate...but, they're also pretty hard to get wrong. Put a Yorkie P on my plate, and I'll be happy almost always. Although, I won't take away from The Brook here - they do a particularly good one.

The Roast Potatoes

After tasting the sad veg, I feared the potatoes would also be steamed and unseasoned. Instead, The Brook said 'try the best fucking roasted potatoes you've ever had, ye of little fucking faith.'

Crispy on the outside but fluffy on the inside, these taters were perfectly cooked. Flavorful on their own, they verged on orgasmic when slathered in gravy. And I don't even usually LIKE roast potatoes!

So, now, hopefully, you see why this Sunday Roast is hard to rate. How do you compare the worst steamed veggies I've ever had - even the ones in elementary school had salt on them - to the fucking best roast potatoes I've ever had?! It's madness. Madness! While the stuffing and the Yorkshire puddings also pull their own weight, I will say, because the meat is supposed to be the focal point of a Sunday Roast, I'm going to have to give this particular roast at The Brook a...

Rating: 6 out of 10 Gravy Boats

Honestly, if I had just been handed a plate of Yorkshire Pudding and Roast Potatoes, the score would have been much higher...although I'd be eating nothing but carbs. Still. Some things in life are worth every bite, while other things - like the dry beef - are barely worth chewing.

[newdayslinguine]

Goodness gravy, I’ve got a story for you guys today. Listen, in the pursuit of life, sometimes we run into bumps along the road. The bumps vary in size, and severity- sometimes it’s a little tiny pebble in the road and sometimes it’s a giant fucking boulder like uhm for instance if you were hiking and you got hit by a giant fucking boulder. We’re doing our best, alright? And sometimes, things don’t work out the way we would- we would prefer. Today is one of those little interesting conundrums that we run into every now and then in our lives, and it happened to me! I ran into a bit of an issue. So sit back, relax, and let’s talk about how i once accidentally drugged myself with the largest edible I’ve ever eaten.

Last February, before all the coronavirus garbage happened, I travelled to Los Angeles for Spring break, and one of the things that I had to do was I had to sign a shit ton of posters for youtooz. There was probably more than three thousand posters that I had to sign, and the posters were being kept at the house that the misfits youtube group were staying at in LA. Carson was there, Schlatt was there, Cooper was there, we were all just tryna like, sign all of these posters as fast as we could, cause there’s so many of them and it was ta- it would take us- it was taking us literally hours to do. At this point there was maybe about five or six people in the house at this time, and that was because at this point, the whole main misfits crew had gone out to dinner somewhere. I don’t know if you know this about the misfits in general, but they smoke a lot of weed. Every trip they do, they probably spend a couple thousand dollars on weed, ok? They smoke the Mary Jane. They do the weed. In order to make the process of signing these posters go a little bit smoother, I had smoked like half a joint of weed, so I was already decently high, because I hadn’t smoked in a while either. Signing away, crossing my i’s, dotting my t’s. However my personal reaction to weed is that i get the munchies. I get the munchies pretty hard. I smoke a little bit of the marijuana and then I say ‘oh! I’m gonna eat an entire sleeve of club crackers with no cheese, because gluttony!’ I had originally planned to go to dinner with my girlfriend and her father, so I was trying to wean off of the high and just kind of sign the posters and wait until it kind of wore off and then I would go and do that. One of the things that they had in this house was they had a giant counter on which a bunch of snacks were all laid out. There was chips, there was more chips, there was I think pizza, I don’t fuckin remember. As I look out across this horizon of bountiful snacks, I see a nerds rope, and my munchie brain is like, ‘… Oh!’ And I’m thinkin to myself, ‘Man, I remember nerds rope, I haven’t had nerds rope in fuckin forever, dude!’ Im thinking back to my childhood where we would go to a campground in Maine and I would waddle on down to the snack shack and i would grab myself a nerds rope, and before eating it, considering its potential application as nunchucks, OR, trying to tie a knot with it, but then realising, I’m a kid! I don’t know how to tie knots! And my prefrontal lobe won’t even be done cooking for another 20 years, so what’s even the point? Get me a slush puppy, get me a gameboy sp, let’s fuck it up. But lord have mercy, did I learn in this moment I no longer was a child but a man- A man who experiences consequences in the worst way possible. So I’m signing more posters, you know, I’m cruising, I’m having a great time, alright? Nerds rope, tastes a bit strange, but that could also be my perception that I have of being already high, and it kinda, if you’ve ever been high before it kinda messes with your perception of taste a little bit? It was like drinking a diet coke versus a normal coke, where there’s like ‘… there’s something there. There’s something there!’ But I don’t fully process why it tastes different. So, I finish the nerds rope. And then I go to have another nerds rope, because I’m high, and have the munchies. As I’m biting into the next nerds rope, one of the misfits guys says

‘Ted! Don’t eat those! Those are edibles!’

Hm? Sorry, I j- shj- I’m- gdbl agh- I musta- I must’ve heard you wrong- um. Scusi?

Yeah Ted, that’s an Edible.

So I say, ‘no fucking way. How much was it?’

And he says ‘I think it might- I think it might be like 60 milligrams.’

What!? Sixty milligrams?

To give you context, the largest edible I’d had up until this point in my life was Twenty milligrams. So of course, I ask ‘Are you sure?’ One of the guys walks over to the counter and picks up the package of the nerds rope, and with the most ‘You Are Fucked’ face I’ve ever seen in a person, he says; ‘It’s actually 400 milligrams.’ Now remember! I’ve already freaked out when I heard it was a fifty milligram edible- and I’ve just been told that it is actually eight times that amount. So you may be asking yourself, ‘Ted, how the fuck did you not know that that was an edible?’ And that’s a good question! Let’s start with the packaging. That’s the packaging. It uses the same packaging as the actual branded nerds rope. It’s got a thing that says ‘tear and share’ as if it’s just a normal candy. In hindsight that’s- very much so implying, for a good reason that you really should be sharing it and not eating it entirely on your own. If you’re not really paying attention and it’s been like, Eight years since you had a nerds rope, this is pretty easy to mistake for a nerds rope. In addition to that, there was a very specific and deceptive way that everything was laid out as snacks in the Misfits house, and I’ll just let Swaggersouls explain that for me.

(Cut to interview/podcast clip with Swaggersouls)

Swaggersouls: So there was a very reasonable way like we set it up, cause the nerds rope was an edible, it was a 400 milligram edible, and he didn’t read the packaging. But we have, on that bench, it’s a big-ass bench, it’s snacks, and food, chips, pringles, gummy bears, all that shit-

Someone else: munchies.

Swaggersouls: -and then there’s weed food, which is edibles, in between that and the weed. Which makes sense, if, you know,

Pokimane (overlapping): ahh like a spectrum, mm.

Swaggersouls: yeah, like a spectrum. But-

Someone else (overlapping): progressively dangerous as you go along.

Swaggersouls: but that’s the thing, is that it would make more sense to kind of put the weed food away so that you don’t confu- confuse the food with the weed.

Pokimane (overlapping): confuse it with the actual food (laughing).

Others: (indistinguishable)

Swaggersouls: which is what happened to Ted, he was trippin’ balls.

(Cut back to main video)

If you’ve ever been in a car crash, even if it’s not your fault, there’s a certain feeling after it immediately happens. It’s this mind racing feeling when you have absolutely no idea what to do, but you also know that something has to be done, or you’re fucked. AKA. Panic! So at this point I begin to freak out, for three reasons. First of all, I didn’t know if i was personally prepared mentally to get as high as i was about to get. Second of all, I had made plans for dinner, with my girlfriend and her father that night, and I DEFINITELY won’t be making it! And I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be a little bit pissed. And the third reason, I hadn’t smoked weed in two months. Which meant that my tolerance was rock bottom. I’d like to explain this with what I like to call ‘the skyscraper analogy’.

Right here we have the tolerance skyscraper, which represents my tolerance to marijuana. Let’s just say that whenever I smoke weed, I start at the ground floor, in the lobby. If my tolerance were higher, then maybe i’d go a couple stories up to the mid-level apartments. That’s where all the stoner kids from high school hang out. And they’re all pretty high up there, but it’s nothing really to be worried about. You’re probably couch-logged, but you’ll be fine.

With my tolerance at zero though, I knew in my heart and in my soul that i was going all the way up to chichen chang’s* fucking penthouse as an unwilling and unexpected guest for an undetermined amount of time. As things stand right now? I don’t even live in the building. I’m from out of town and I sometimes commute into the city. “Oh, it’s a Friday night! Oh, we should go- we should get drinks in the city!” That’s what I’m operating on. I know that I’m on a timer. Most edibles take about 45 minutes to an hour before they kick in. But! I know that I’ve taken this edible about ten to fifteen minutes prior. Which means- ehh math- I’ve got about 45 minutes before this edible hits me and I die. Although, other things can affect this, such as being on an empty stomach! Which I was. My first thought was that I need to make myself throw up, because if I could get rid of as much of this edible as possible, I could POTENTIALLY mitigate the level of inebriation that I was about to experience. So I stumble over to the bathroom, and I start to gag. And I’m trying to make myself throw up, but I’ve never made myself throw up before. I don’t know how to DO it. So, the next step is that I got Carson on his phone looking up ‘how-to’s on wikihow on how to make myself throw up, and then Cooper’s in the kitchen and he’s making cups of salt water for me to chug, cause apparently if you chug cups of salt water it helps with the throwing up process. I’m not sure how true that was? It just ended up with me throwing up a bunch of pinkish, salt water. So… I ca- I can’t speak for its effectiveness, but. There ya go. And I’m pretty sure since the nerds rope was sort of a candy, sugar based food, it was really easy for my stomach to digest it really fast.

So I’m pretty sure after if I hadn’t thrown it up within maybe five minutes there wasn’t really much that I could do from there. So by the time that I was done throwing up the food that we had ordered earlier arrived, and cooper basically advised me that the best thing that I could really do for myself would be to just fill my now completely empty stomach. From this point on, all I could really do was uh. Buckle up. Strap in. And get ready for the fuckin. High of a lifetime. God bless my soul.

So I’m gonna give you guys a walkthrough of what this high was like. It wasn’t fun. I also have some video footage that cooper took so, link to his channel in the uh, in the description. Once I came to terms with the fact that I was gonna have to ride out this high no matter what, I decided to give myself a home base. Just somewhere where I could ground myself, and not really need to worry about moving around or anything. I found myself a nice armchair. And I sat myself down there, and prepared for the ride of a lifetime.

*idk if this is right this is just what youtube automated subtitles came up with

[khargaotte]

4, 5, 19, 24, 26 and 29 !

Thanks thanks <3

4. mythical creature you believe/think is real?

Uuum none really? I guess the closest would be like... Fey/fairies. Like it's hard to walk in nature and not think "there's definitely beings of power in here that could harm me if I'm not respectful" so like sometimes if we find a very cool place on a hike I leave a cool rock or a piece of food for them. Just in case.

5. Favorite form of potato?

how dare you ask me to chose between my children

guess i'll give a shout-out to la truffade, aka a regional dish where i grew up that has potatoes sautéd in a dutch oven with lard (though my mom makes it with duck fat and it's even better), add in some parsley, and then once the potatoes are cooked you turn the fire off, add some fresh tomme cheese, cover for it to melt, then mix, and if it's done well you'll have cheese strings that CAN extend all the way above your head

(but also: a good old mash with gravy, and the humble glory of potatoes baked in aluminum foil to which you add a bit of butter)

19. the veggie you dislike the most?

Beetroot, hands down. I wish I liked it bc it's so pretty but no matter how it's prepped I can't get over the earthy aftertaste 😬

24. Which do you find yourself using, American or British English?

I honestly have no clue, I never managed to remember which points belonged to which other than the ise/ize endings and the theatre/theater thing. So prob a mix of both? Likely more American since that's most of the shows I watched and people I follow

26. How's your spice tolerance?

I honestly don't know 😂 my tolerance is much lower than O.'s, which always makes me think I'm kinda weak, but then we have guests or just eat with people generally and they drink 1L of water over something that I'm finding pretty mild/slightly hot but pleasant? So probably medium

29. preferred pasta noodle

Once again, how dare you

But the pasta shape i buy by default at the moment are the cava tappi from the bronze mold range in U supermarkets, they're pretty and swirly and catch great on sauce

For Asian noodles, udon hold my heart in their grasp and won't let go

But also I have an extremely soft spot for alphabet pasta, because "alphabet pasta with minced ham and grated cheese" was THE dish we would eat with baby sitters when my parents were going out when we were kids with my sister, so it's very much a comfort food for me!

[rainyfestivalsweets]

9/29/22

Traveling day.

Made pretty good choices. Cleaned and ate before I left, watching Gotham. So hopefully I won't be going home to a pig sty.

I have continued to think about possible hangup and how to move past this plateau. 🤔

When I was in the 230's and 240's before, the [sic] love of my life started cheating on me with an 18 year old gastric bypass patient. It was hella traumatic. I lost everything. My heart was beyond broken. I ended up selling my house to her and leaving, basically losing the family I had fought so hard for.

I have felt untethered since then.

I did eventually remarry, so someone who basically loved me more than anything ever ( & got me fatter than ever) until they didn't--and some 21 year old puppy wannabe came along.

Got divorced. It was all chronicled on a blog that tumblr deleted. So again, thanks for that. I should have written it somewhere safe, because this wasn't and there was so so so much shit you guys.

So what was my takeaway from that? That my person will leave me if I become successful at weight loss??

How is that stopping me? My gf and I are not super serious. We don't have sex. We live separately. We actually seem better over the phone than in person. I struggle with their affection signals. [Sigh]

So why am I hung up here? How is that previous experience applicable to this situation?

It doesn't matter if she breaks up with me. Granted, I will be sad and lonely.... but it won't be fucking tragic.

So I am working on doing some mind reconditioning to change my inner language. Trying to redirect myself whenever I think bad thoughts. Honestly, I am just touch starved and body lonely. I can barely have an orgasm anymore, because I often start crying during, which probably doesn't fucking help.

It is safe for me to continue losing weight. I still have a large amount of fat. I will reconsider after dropping under 200 to see where I am with muscle mass. But I still have a rather large spare tire right now. So I know it isn't because I am in a physical danger zone. Mid 240s is still high for a female almost regardless of muscle mass.

So other wins: I am trying to concentrate on foods with lots of veggies, low calorie noodles, and protein.

So back to today- mostly good choices with the exception of breakfast. Which was a snickers and an apple while I cleaned my car. I had lunch before I left- which was veggies & gravy leftover from the other night, and a vegan harvest bowl. I gave the steak to mom to lower the cals for me. The bowl thing I bought a bunch of while they were on clearance and I wanted to try it. Small bowl of chickpeas and lentils in like a curry seasoning. 360 cals. So perfect to have with a veggie.

Road snacks. Drinks-- A pink Starburst crystal light thing, dt coke, cherry coke zero, and a pumpkin apple chai with fiber. Snacks-- Sweet c jelly, snow peas, carrot chips. Hard boiled eggs.

When I got to the hotel, I just got ready right away. Played in my phone a bit. Decided to wait to eat.

Went to an awesome show! It was great. No drinking, had a bottle of water.

Walked to the grocery store after. Bought 2 bananas, a pack of pickled green beans, and a cauli pizza bowl.

Ate a banana 🍌 right out of the store. Ate the pickled beans on the way back to the hotel.

Got back to the hotel, ate a salad first- but without most of the dressing.

Then ate my pizza bowl.

Took a bath and had 3 "moments."

Out of all the ways I could have undercut my healthy diet today, I think I won. No fast food. No drinking. Healthy food. Good choices all around except for the snickers. My workout was cleaning. I was sweating during but I wanted to be able to come home to a semi clean house.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 30 April 1953

A treat this week: three whole songs to listen to, and one by Kay Starr, who already gave us what's probably been my favourite song so far on this whole endeavour.

Pretty Little Black-Eyed Susie - Guy Mitchell (peaked at No. 2)

Well, we start off very chipper, launching into this song at a high-speed. And the whole song is just quick and chirpy, I like it!

The concept is a simple one: Guy likes lots of things, but he likes "Pretty little black-eyed Susie best of all". It's sweet, it's catchy and it feels somehow quite folksy, especially when Guy exclaims about how much "I love my pipe, I love tomaters / I love candied sweet pertaters" or "I love the sea, I love the navy / I love my biscuits soaked in gravy". It makes him sound like a good-natured grandfather, eating his food and being cute.

Not sure if I was Susie I'd be particularly flattered by the "I love Jane and I love Mary" line. Even if he does love you best of all, there really shouldn't be competition there...

That said, when we hit the line about how "I used to do a lot of teasin' / Changed my gals with ev'ry season", I do start coming round to Guy here. It's the good old "rake reformed" trope, and I'm a sucker for it. His ramblin' days are through, aww...

Musically, a lot to like here, from the clapping on the title line, to the deliciously vintage backing singers, to the whistling interlude, which doesn't go on so long as to get annoying.

I found myself whistling along while writing this, which doesn't often happen. A welcome redemption for Guy Mitchell, whose last outing was the absolutely terrible She Wears Red Feathers.

Side by Side - Kay Starr (7)

Another jazzy banger from Kay Starr, too - I'm being spoiled here! We get a lot of the same carefree, fun attitude here as we see in Comes A-Long A-Love, and it works about as well here as it did there. Kay Starr has charm by the bucketful!

The song itself is free-spirited and easy-going, all about how the singer and her love may not have the most money, but they get along, travelling through the world - you got it - "side by side". Which is already pretty compelling.

But the delivery is really everythin. Kay Starr isn't just nonchalant, here, about not having money, and potential trouble ahead. She's boldly and brassily staring the trouble down, almost daring life to throw its worst at her. That's the level of confidence here!

She has a lot of little technical things she does with her voice, from the sweep upwards on "looooad" to that little quirk before phrases like "a-singin' our song". You can hear them a bit better in this song than in Comes A-Long A-Love, with its tongue-twister lyrics, and the song's all the better for it.

She doesn't go in for lots of soupy backing singers, but she does harmonise with herself for most of the song, which is nifty, especially towards the end, where the harmonies come in unexpectedly, way higher than the tune.

And the backing is also enjoyably jazzy, from the saxophone on the intro to the big-band-style trumpets throughout. Fun, classy and honestly, a great song!

Pretend - Nat King Cole (2)

And we end on the slowest and most melancholy song of the bunch, but it's a nice cool-down from the madcap bluster of the last two songs.

This song feels like a song you'd find in a musical, with its sweeping strings and lush instrumentation, interrupted only at the end by a guitar solo, which I also like a lot. There's this tinkly instrument throughout, that gives the whole song a slightly dream-like quality that also works well.

It's sad, though, all about finding happiness by... just pretending to be happy? Seriously, I think this is just a song about repressing your feelings.

It starts telling you to "Pretend you're happy when you're blue" and ends up reminding you that "The little things you haven't got / Could be a lot if you pretend" - a clever mid-line rhyme, but a depressing bit of advice.

Then it turns to romance, advising you that "You'll find a love you can share" and that "Just close your eyes, she'll be there / You'll never be alone". Which I initially thought was about an unrequited love, but on a few listens, I got the impression that this bit was more about loneliness, and not having someone at all. Which is sad. There should be more songs nowadays about the experience of being lonely, rather than a specific person you're pining after.

And even the ending, which sounds so uplifting, isn't really a win for the listener or for Nat King Cole: "And if you sing this melody / You'll be pretending just like me / The world is mine, it can be yours, my friend / So why don't you pretend?" You can have anything, sure - but it's only pretend!

Depressing, but this song did actually make me feel things, so I'll call that a win. I could actually see a stripped back version of this being a hit today, it's got a fairly timeless blend of melancholy and cynicism that works well.

Man, this was a really good batch of songs! I would genuinely choose to listen to any of these for fun. I had most fun with Guy Mitchell, but admired Kay Starr the most, and Nat King Cole's the one who made me feel things. All strongly recommended Still, I'll have to award my favourite to the only one I could still probably sing along to five minutes after listening to it. Which means...

Favourite song of the bunch: Pretty Little Black-Eyed Susie

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

What should be the USA's national dish? What are your favorite American foods?

national dish? i'd probably go with the classic cheeseburger with a side of fries and a soft drink or milkshake. barbecue would probably be a close second.

as for my favorite american food? man, so much. the aforementioned burger and barbecue are definitely up there. i love me some pb&j tbh. surf n turf. fried chicken. buffalo wings. pretty much everything eaten on thanksgiving. applie, pumpkin, and pecan pies. a good hot dog can really hit the spot. philly cheesesteaks. clam chowder. cioppino. pancakes. really just the classic american breakfast in general (pancakes/waffles/french toast with maple syrup and eggs and bacon and sausage and hash browns and so on). chocolate chip cookies. biscuits and gravy. crawfish boil.

honestly, i could keep going forever. the more i think about it the more that comes to mind. i love it all. and i would even make an argument for a lot of "ethnic" foods actually being american. like a lot of chinese food is uniquely american. i would say pizza as it's popularly known is american. spaghetti is american. a lot of japanese food is americanized -- like a lot of sushi. i would even argue a lot of mexican food that is popular is actually american. even burritos as we know them are really an american dish.

i only know this because my grandma mentioned it when i was younger. we were eating burritos and she told us about how different they were from the burritos she grew up eating in mexico (she was born and raised in america but visited mexico occasionally). she said that the burritos she knew as a child were simply a small tortilla with some refried beans and a little cheese. she said if you were /lucky/ you might add some meat. she said they were mostly a meal for poor people because they were cheap and convenient and portable. she ate them a lot when she'd travel with her father across the country looking for seasonal work. she said you'd need to eat like 10 of them to really be full.

but these burritos we eat in america these days -- these fat ass burritos with three different beans, three different kinds of meat, a pound of three types of cheese, sour cream, avocado, salsa, hot sauce, eggs, potatoes, french fries, lettuce, jalapenos, etc -- is a very american invention. my grandma would even draw the distinction between them by specifying "american burritos" whenever she wanted to eat one.

so yeah. it's hard to pick a favorite. i love it all. every day would probably have a different answer.

[butteredpenny]

Sourdough Garlic Parmesan Twists

I don't want to yap, but I'm putting the full recipe under the cut since it might be annoying for screen readers. Long story short, mama bragged to her friends that I could make really good parmesan twists, meanwhile I have never made them before. Some trial and error later the friends really liked my twists, just wished I had used fresh garlic. Sadly this recipe still uses dry granulated garlic. Also, one member of the household couldn't eat them because they were too hard, so I adjusted the recipe and this is the soft version. They still couldn't eat them unfortunately; I'll have to make some sort of gravy to go with it. The twists are pretty tasty soaked in milk, so a basic white sauce should be fine.

This recipe makes about twenty four 100-gram twists. Recipe below:

The dough:

25.5 ounces (not fluid ounces, just ounces. or 722 grams) of milk. You will need a very big bowl. Humongous. The biggest one you have probably.

1 ounce (28 grams) of salt

1.55 ounces (44 grams) of brown sugar

5 ounces (144 grams) of sourdough starter, made from equal parts flour and water by weight

2 eggs

48.4 ounces (1372 grams) of flour, also using a large bowl.

4 ounces (112 grams) of butter, AKA a whole stick of it, chilled.

The butter spread:

8 ounces (224 grams) of butter, AKA two sticks, melted. Sheesh! Also I'm using salted butter because it's cheaper where I live.

4 grams of dried granulated garlic

2 grams of dried minced onion

2 grams of salt.

And of course the topping:

6 ounces of parmesan, although I'm thinking maybe more. In brick form so you can grate it. You could probably choose some other dry flavorful cheese if you'd like.

Instructions:

The day before, feed your sourdough starter in the morning or at noon. Before you go to bed, make the dough as described below.

In the largest bowl you possibly have, measure out the milk. Be sure to use little separate bowls to measure before you add the salt and sugar, in case your scale acts funny. Add the sourdough starter. I didn't use a separate bowl to measure the starter because I hate doing dishes and a little too much isn't going to hurt anything. Stir until the salt, sugar, and sourdough starter are at least partly dissolved. Now add the eggs and flour. This is a lot of dough, so take your time stirring and kneading. You may need to let it rest for half an hour before continuing to knead. The dough should just be nicely incorporated. Cover the bowl and perform your nightly rituals.

In the morning, or whenever you wake up, put the dough in the fridge and eat breakfast (very important). Clean your workspace, lightly flour it (I use parchment paper instead), and pull out your dough.

Flatten the dough into a large rectangle-ish shape. This may take several rests since the dough likes to keep its shape and resist stretching.

Once the dough is flattened out, shred the butter over it with the large end of a cheese grater. Try putting the butter in the freezer between applications to keep it solid. Slap the butter pieces a few times to stick them to the dough, then fold the dough into thirds. Let it rest and then flatten it out again. I believe this process is called 'lamination'. Keep shredding, slapping, folding, resting, and repeating until you run out of that one stick of butter.

Now preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, or 177 degrees Celsius. I find my fam's oven runs a tad cold, so I set it a little higher so the thermometer we placed inside reads the correct temperature.

Oil a glass baking dish or be prepared to use the parchment paper to line it.

In a cup or bowl, melt the butter and combine it with the dried onion, garlic, and salt.

Cut the dough into equal parts. I like to measure out 100-gram pieces. Roll them out into ropes. I don't have an exact science here, but about twice the length you want the final twists to be. Twist the ropes together like this:

Fold each rope in half with the ends facing towards you. Gently twist both ends clockwise, just until the dough wants to kink up. Do not let it do so (yet). Pick the center point and keep an eye on it while you cross the ends, right over left. You should have the loop at or near the center point. Keep gently turning the ends clockwise and crossing the new rightmost end over the left, until you run out of rope. Pinch the ends together. You can choose to leave the ends alone or try to tuck them under.

I bake about a quarter of the dough at a time, or six 100-gram twists. If you would like to do the same, grate about 1.5 ounces of parmesan for each tray, using the fine end of a cheese grater.

Warm the butter mixture again, if necessary, and smear a small amount onto the twists to coat them and sprinkle on the parmesan. You may have to directly apply the cheese to the twists to get it to stick. Dribble some more butter mixture over the cheese. I like to just make a thin line of drips.

Bake each set of six 100-gram twists in the glass baking dish until lightly browned or to your desired level of doneness. I prefer 30 minutes for the first set, and 25 minutes for the next ones. You might be able to go as low as 20 minutes if your glass pan is already warm, but they may be slightly under-cooked, I'm not sure.

If you would like to make a gravy, it could probably be done during the latter two sets' baking times. I haven't tried yet. The last time I made these I was quick to hide them in the freezer, since the time before that, they barely lasted two days.

[twobuckhowie]

Do You Believe - Part Two

I woke up the next morning rested like I haven’t felt for years. Talking to myself, I commented, “Now that was a wild dream I had last night. It had to be. Probably from indigestion after eating an under cooked piece of beef I had last night.”

The rest of the day was a wonderful day. Somehow, it felt different from the usual days I’ve been having. Even the people I normally see on my morning walk greeted me with a hearty hello, instead of walking past me with their heads hanging down. It was so good, I almost forgot about the haunting dreams I’ve been having.

That night, I got ready for bed, feeling pretty sure that those hauntings were the manifestations from leaving leftovers in my refrigerator too long and still eating them.

I had quickly fallen to sleep, but surprise, it wasn’t for long.

“Wake up mon. We have a lot of work to do.”

“What, again?” I say, sitting up a little startled. “I thought you were a bad dream that went away. Now I have to put up with you for another night?”

“Wow mon. Is that the gratitude I get for giving you a day of tranquility?” Bob says while toking on another joint. “Maybe I should leave.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” I say worried now. “Don’t leave. It was you who gave me peace of mind for a day?”

“I can’t take all the credit mon.” he was saying while blowing smoke up in the air. “You had something to do with it.”

“Can you do it permanently to me, please?”

After I asked, even I thought I was sounding a little needy, but what the heck. If it worked why not.

“Maybe later,” he said. “First, I have to explain to you the reason you were born and why you should live a full life.”

“Are we changing formats on me?” I asked. Then adding, “No longer going with the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, Future are we? Going to do the George Bailey and Clarence getting his wings scenario?”

I smiled like I knew what I was talking about, but he rolled his eyes and said, “First, stop saying ghost or ghosts. It’s not very woke of you. We, in the afterlife, prefer to be called spirits. It has a comforting sound to it mon.”

I looked at him like he was nuts, then asked, “Why, what’s wrong with the word ghost?”

He just stared at me intently, not even taking a drag off his joint, waiting for me to figure it out on my own.

He finally lifted his hand towards his lips, I assume so he could puff away, but when I opened my mouth to speak he said, “No mon, think.” and stared angrily at me this time.

After a minute I went, “Oh, because people are ghosting people. The word is now used as an ugly mean thing that people do to each other!”

To Be Continued…

This is, I Quit Smoking Over Twenty Years Ago And Now It’s Legal Where I Live And Better Quality

Jim Hauenstein

And

“You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!” — Charles Dickens -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be kind to everyone

I’ll be seeing you

I haven’t written the next part yet so the next one will probably be posted a few days

Thanks again

[kahran042]

Encyclopedia Brown thoughts: book 27

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Carnival Crime

The Case of the Vanished Sculpture:

It's been in almost every book up to this point, but I'll just say it, since this case is pretty dull: all that stuff about how no one would believe a fifth-grader is a great detective really strikes me as typical mystery-writer adultism. :P

"Encyclopedia wasn't looking for the spotlight." Yeah, and I'm the King of Norway.

Personally, I don't put gravy on my mashed potatoes - no point in gilding the lily.

It's pretty rare for an adult criminal to actually be stated as being in prison in this series.

The Case of the Glittering Diamonds:

Encyclopedia reads the business section of the newspaper? Dork! :D

Who needs triangular cardboard boxes?

I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that diamonds can't be scratched.

The Case of the Tempting Toys:

Biff Bumpkin? Looks like Nemo Huffenwiz's name has finally been equalled in goofiness, if not surpassed.

Given the solution, I'm honestly not sure if Mindy was in on the theft. I'm hoping she wasn't, though, if only the series and mystery fiction in general needs more good/neutral teenagers.

The Case of the Missing Songs:

I don't get why they keep calling Colonel Abner Singleton "the colonel" if his title is only honorary.

And yet, in the solution, he's referred to as "the manager" instead of "the colonel". o_O Is it because he was the thief?

The Case of the Home-Run Hitter:

Is Sammy Jackson named after Samuel L. Jackson, and if so, why?

Did Babe Ruth ever hit three home runs in one game?

I like how this solution assumes that the reader knows about baseball.

The Case of the Lazy Lion:

I've never seen the term "motorcycle bikers" outside this story.

Why doesn't the ringmaster get a name when all the other performers do?

The nameless ringmaster attempted to sabotage an act, and wasn't fired for it?

The Case of the Explorer's Map:

Looks like I was wrong about book 25 being the only book since Wilford Wiggins' debut not to feature him - Nate Switcher takes his place in this book.

Speaking of Nate, he looks a lot older than a high-school senior in the chapter illustration.

Wouldn't a map from 1492 use Latin instead of English or Spanish?

The Case of the Arrowhead Hunters:

Ah, Encyclopedia and his friend Henry Millsap, who has never been mentioned before and will never be mentioned again.

The Donners are eating hot dogs... I really hope they aren't made of what I think they're made of. ;)

Oh, and the boy who's eating a hot dog is named Frank? It's really not that clever, Sobol.

Jack Muir and Teddy Rose... possible references to John Muir and Theodore Roosevelt?

Of course the boy named after the cannibal is the thief...

The Case of the Courageous Camper:

It must have taken a lot of effort for Sobol not to give a bookworm named Paige the surname Turner.

Buster Wilde has made an appearance before, but this time he's the antagonist instead of the client.

Even though the story is fake, Buster could still probably break into publishing by marketing it as fiction. Or does Encyclopedia or Sobol suffer from Mallory Pike Syndrome?

The Case of the Carnival Crime:

Who outside of Idaville calls the carnival ride in question "revolving teacups" instead of just "teacups"?

Does anyone ever win anything at a carnival? :)

As soon as it's mentioned that Max Bungleson is one of the Tigers, it's pretty much guaranteed that he's guilty.

Would anyone expect anyone named Bungleson to succeed at anything?

One book remains!