#but it's all so disingenuous
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Tetris Fanart.
I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah
#text#art#eyestrain#cw eystrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#tetris#nintendo#god i dont know what to tag this with. i dont wanna tag it with the podcasts themselves cuz that feels disingenuous. swagever#i actually started this piece a while ago. ok yeah looking at the date that was almost 3 weeks ago wow#but i finally decided to bring it back and finish it#ive been getting back into digital art and its been really nice. its nice having finished pieces.#ive been trying to get weirder with my art. like this piece was weirdly 'personal' in a sense#its been my unique experience listening to these pieces of media. the game in the bg is jsut as important to my experience as the art itsel#the looming sense of dread these podcasts give fit weirdly well with the high tension of some of these games of tetris#i wanted to have that sorta weird ominous vibe to it. have even the pieces feel loud and threatening.#and the gameplay being Past the ds itself is something i thought could be neat#ykno the tetris effect? where you play a bunch and then after you see the shapes everywhere;you play it in your mind?#that was part of what i wanted to channel there. but also like; how your attention works with this stuff#i might be looking straight at the ds but my attention is elsewhere; my brain is in another world#the game is still inescapable tho. tetris effect whatever. these stories stick in my brain just as much.#its all given me some. very very annoyingn anxiety. but i have to go back to them. like a moth to a flame etc. hince the moth climbing out#but uh yeah. that set up was my life for a few weeks whenever i had free time.#the main podcast this is about was magnus btw <- not typing full name so im not on the tag#and uh.#objectum#yeah i think. i think yeah.
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Someone said this already but I’ll point it out again that Jimmy is an unreliable narrator and a manipulator that spins and alters the narrative/tone of every scene he’s in with each character.
This sentence also applies to Curly.
Too many people are taking how Jimmy talks to Curly and how Curly is actually responding at face value when between Anya and Curly he is again the second most affected by his presence. This is to say he changes how he is acting drastically when dealing with Jimmy in a more similar way Anya does than people are willing to admit.
#like idk why we just accepted that yeah Jimmy is also saying truths about curly or that curly is the only one#unaffected by Jimmy’s behavior like I also see people saying Curly is an unreliable narrator and while he has some biases his perception#of reality and acknowledgment of things that challenge his views make him completely different#like he is aware of what’s actually happening he’s just handling pretty badly like idk for people who don’t want to trust his words all the#facts you get about Anya in the game come from his friendly commentary about her and his thoughts so I guess we throw that out?#it’s just not everything is a parallel for Jimmy and curly as player characters sometimes it really is to show how#different and disingenuous Jimmy is about things as Curly is the only other perspective we get#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing
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I like how Jessica Preddy says Rose is not in love or infatuated with Alan, but it’s her third job, her life calling. the unstoppable President of the Alan Wake fan club, genuinely Alan’s strongest soldier. (Source: Remedy YouTube)
#alan wake 2#rose marigold#rose… ily…#ALSO I like Preddy talking about Rose mirroring characters from TV#she’s not being disingenuous but it’s how she understands humans are#but it’s also how she becomes so invested in alan wake and his writing#that’s just How things are and with fiction affecting reality it all becomes blurred#I do feel validated that it’s outright said that she isn’t in love with alan. which is already what i got from the games but nice to hear#esp with that page in aw1 about her wanting to be friends with Alan and Alice#it’s a fantasy and she’s not trying to replace Alice (even if she’s SO focused on Alan that she tends to ignore others/be insensitive)#i think it’s a little easy to assume rose would be in love with alan because I Do think Cynthia was in love with Zane#so it’s a nice contrast
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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i want to delete my twitter account so fucking bad
#i grew my following off of anime stuff and now i'm into completely different stuff and i feel like posting about it -#will alienate my audience way too much#(if you wanna know - these days i hardly even watch one anime a year)#i wanna post about the fuckin saw movies and postal and weird video games and metalocalypse and music i like#and i want to post about my ocs without it feeling like i'm speaking gibberish to a crowd#but none of my followrs GIVE A FUCK#also i find it impossible to make friends on twt 😭😭😭😭 i have like 5 mutuals i'd consider friends#but alas i have too many industry pro followrs to just deactivate#and 40k followers is invaluable as someone whose only form of income rn is comms#tumblr has similar problems but at least i can talk about my ocs properly cuz of tagging#i don't like how monetized my account has become it feels so fucking disingenuous#it's just retweet retweet retweet post art retweet retweet#if twitter went under it'd be a blessing in disguise for me#oh well. suffering from success i guess#maybe one day i'll move accounts and KILL STARRYSHARKS ONCE AND FOR ALL#this is all 13 yr old me's fault#sorry for ranting/venting ig??? on main lol
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i think it's kind of offensive to try to make holocaust denial about trans people but idk
#when you say holocaust denial people think antisemitic conspiracy theory#so it just seems... hm.... disingenuous to use that specific phrase?#i do think jkr's tweet was kind of unclear#but it was not ''the holocaust is a jewish conspiracy it was all faked they control everything''#contesting the idea that trans people should be centered in holocaust discussions is not the same thing at all#that wording just grosses me out bc it feels intentional. they know what holocaust denial actually is and they know they can piggyback#off of the enduring suffering of people who were the primary targets of the holocaust#and they know no one is gonna bother to even read what jkr's little tweet said in the first place#isn't it obvious they just want to be able to call themselves holocaust victims
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Been thinking of Aventurine a lot and the fact Ratio never uses his name
When Jade was talking to him his name was still Kakavasha and right before that the IPC news mentions a “Egyhazo Aventurine” fraud case and Jade mentioned how he lied to the Intelligentsia Guild so it seems very possible to me that Ratio met him before he was Aventurine and maybe that’s why he only ever refers to him as gambler? Maybe he actually uses his real name but knows he can’t say it on Penacony? Just seemed odd how he NEVER says it, not even when talking to other people about him. The only time we hear Ratio say the word “aventurine” is when he’s talking about the stone to Sunday, but he never says it in reference to the person Aventurine.
I’m probably overthinking this but it just seemed like the dialogue was going out of its way to keep Ratio from saying Aventurine, but when there was no way around it they just had him say gambler
Edit: Should add that I play in English and haven’t looked at the other languages, so maybe it just so happens that he never calls him Aventurine in English even tho he does in other languages? In that case this wouldn’t matter at all but I have no idea
#that fraud case must be how aventurine got his name too#my theory is he told them they would find aventurine if they dug somewhere#so they must have told him well you may as well be named Aventurine#as a stone heart since I’m pretty sure he became one right after that convo with Jade#anyway I digress#this would be very embarrassing if it turns out Ratio DID say his name somewhere#but I watched all their scenes again and couldn’t find any instances so if I missed it someone pls tell me and I’ll delete this#I have no theories as to WHY he wouldn’t switch to using the name Aventurine tho#maybe he thinks it’s disingenuous? not sure#I’m most likely overthinking#aventio#honkai star rail#hsr
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It's baffling to me that a certain subset of the SW fandom is willing to accept some of TCW’s most ridiculous story arcs and blatantly OOC characterisations as literal canon, but then pretend that they 'can't believe' that Padme could possibly fall for Anakin in the actual Prequels films.
Really? You can believe that space-godzilla goes on a rampage and destroys a sector of Coruscant, that several of the main characters are kept as slaves by an evil cat-queen, that Obi-Wan fakes his own death (complete with a pretend funeral) and callously traumatises everyone who cares about him in the process, and that Maul somehow survives TPM and is at one point a ROBOTIC SPIDER ...
... but you can't believe that two child prodigies who formed a bond while mutually aiding one another can meet again years later under intensely emotional circumstances during the outbreak of a galactic war and legitimately fall in love with each other and get married?
Really???
#i say this even as someone who finds TCW entertaining#i just don't think it counts as literal canon cause the plotlines can be beyond ridiculous#and a lot of the characters' dialogue and behaviour doesn't align with the film canon and is often completley OOC#and while I realise that Star Wars in general can be quite silly#and the saga is meant to be a stylised space fantasy and not realistic#there is still a huge suspension of disbelief is required in order to pretend that certain story arcs in TCW actually 'happened' in-univers#and yet somehow far too many TCW fans can't so much as extend the courtesty towards Anakin and Padme's relationship?#a relationship which is actually very meaningful and relevant to the overall themes and story of the PT x OT saga?#you can believe all that silliness but not space Romeo and Juliet??? COME ON#it's so disingenuous#and very telling...#tcw discourse#fandom discourse
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The way Lucien stans get up in arms over Feyre clowning on the Band of Exiles as a name is so ridiculous. They call her every name in the book over some light ribbing…when, in case you forgot, that man degraded her nearly every day those first few months in acotar when he literally didn’t have to. “Well, he was using it as a cover up for her killing Andras”, I really don’t give a fuck, he knew damn well why Andras was sent to the human lands. Funny how Tamlin always gets away with the shit he’s done, but god forbid Feyre clowns on Lucien in the mildest way possible. After the shit he’s done to her, she could’ve given him more lashings.
I also don’t give a shit if he’s mad about Tamlin or what happened in Spring at the beginning of acowar. She told you to leave her the hell alone but you didn’t listen.
#pro feyre#feyre archeron#acofas was so good you guys just hate art#the overreactions to what Feyre did in acowar is all disingenuous bullshit#if that is a point of contention#then I will go even further and say#they should’ve never stolen a 19 year old human girl from her home#pro inner circle#pro rhysand#pro feysand#high lady feyre#high queen feyre#feyre cursebreaker#feyre cauldron blessed#defender of the rainbow#the princess of carrion#anti Lucien stans#anti tamlin
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though i do gotta say, the state of affairs on yt is Rather Dire, I Think. trying to look for anything interesting at all and its "THE BEST GAME YOUVE NEVER PLAYED??" "THE THING ABOUT [popularseries] NOBODY KNOWS??" "I GOT CREATORS TO DO THING????" "CAN YOU [videogame] WHILE [scenario]????" that same thumbnail artstyle, big red arrows and over-the-top surprised expressions and and and its so disingenuous. like yeah i know it works and all but. oil in water. it all smudges together yknow.
and then over edited captions spinning and bobbing across the entire screen, those same few background music tracks (that are absolutely never credited), smug commentary that comes across as the audio equivalent of a dreamworks face, constant cut ins of meme images as bits about as entertaining as 'haha dont you recognize this image? theres character in this image instead, isnt that so funny?' like arent you tired? arent you all so tired? are we not all so fucking tired??
#not that id know anything abt any of that. or that id know what to do instead.#piktalk#i had t stop watching a lot of people bc its always '[popularseries]-LIKE GAME???' '[popularseries] BUT ITS [mild difference]?????'#its so disingenuous. you arent even playing this bc you want to enjoy it or bc it interests you; its all engagement.#what does that mean for people who actually like the game? doesnt matter really; does it?#reducing things to 'its like Thing but Different' and nothing else is so irritating but it happens so often.#because they never expand on it!! they only take it at face value as a Haha Isnt That Something? Moving On#even if the game genuinely has something to go on about.#its a good intro; a good setpiece; but you cant just leave it at that :( it implies it to be completely derivative; when it usually isnt.#idk man! its dire out here! this sucks!
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"Jiang Cheng would have been involved in the attack on the Burial Mounds even without the death of sister"
For context, this all takes place AFTER JZX was killed. From JC's pov that was all 100% WWX's fault (bear in mind, WWX does have some culpability with his death. He lost control because of his unrestrained resentment for JZX. Sooo).
Was JC not supposed to do anything? Just sit there and twiddle his thumbs? Object to the siege entirely, perhaps? How do you think that would have looked to the rest of the CW? It would have been very suspicious if he didn't take part in eliminating a potential threat to the CW. Especially when said threat was once a part of his sect and KILLED his brother in law. Wouldn't they think it is strange that he refused to take part and get revenge on behalf of his sister??
If he did object or refused to take part, the rest of the CW would have grown even more suspicious of him. And the Jiang sect would have had a huuuuuuge target on their backs next. Especially giving how power hungry the Jins were becoming.
It was a very difficult situation he was put in. Not one he could easily talk his way out of. We've seen him try to numerous times even before things escalated to vouch for WWX and even once for the Wen siblings. And we all saw how that went down. Do you seriously think he could talk his way out of this one? After a sect heir had been slaughtered by his former SiC? Come on now.
All of this is why we see JC desparing so much because he is watching his brother spiral and spiral, and all he can do is watch on helplessly, for it is beyond his power to save him.
WWX kept so much from JC. He sided with the sect that almost wiped out his own and then goes on to inadvertently kill his brother in law. How do you think that must have looked to JC? How JC must have felt?? Let's be real here and look at things from his pov. Because I feel as though some of yall are failing to do so.
To JC, WWX had become unhinged and out of control. But even after the death of JZX, JC still seemed to desperately hold onto hope for his brother. He exclaims when he's holding his dying sister in his arms, "I thought you said you could control it?!"
That says to me that JC had faith in his brother that he could fix all this up until JYL was caught up in it all.
If you look at things from JC's pov, you'll see how bad things looked for WWX. How culpable he appeared throughout it all. And when you take that into consideration and realise that JC doesn't have all the information we as the reader are privileged to have, we can easily see why he came to such a conclusion.
It was either WWX or the lives of hundreds in his sect. JC chose to protect the many. And that doesn't make him a terrible person. Nor does it make him a terrible brother. He did all he could for WWX. But to him, WWX had made his bed, and so he should lay in it.
#canon jiang cheng#jiang cheng#jiang wanyin#mxtx mdzs#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#the untamed#to be clear im not bashing wwx here#i obviously know he isnt 100% culpabale and was a victim in all this too#but failing to see jc as a victim in the whole mess is just failing to understand him and the plot im sorry#his pov is very important because it explains all of his reactions towards wwx when he returns from the dead#these highly crtical jc posts always seem to lack any context on regards to his character#and i think it's very disingenuous to withold the details in his character assessments#plus its doing the character a huge disservice#jc loved wwx and wwx loved jc#thats why the events in the book destroyed them so much and why jc found it difficult to let wwx go#stop taking away all these facts away from him just to spread your anti jc agenda#it's annoying and disingenuous af
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More stuff about my Merlin soulmate au:
Something I think I forgot to mention last time is that soulmates take comfort in the presence and physical contact of each other, feeling safe and content with them by their side.
The other kingdoms view Uther's policies on soulmates to be barbaric and cruel, and is a contributing factor to the tension and conflicts Camelot faces with the surrounding kingdoms.
Morgana still goes evil in this one lads, but with an important change of her anger being exclusively directed at Uther, Arthur, and Merlin. Gwen is her soulmate and she loves her, she wants Gwen at HER side. Her rage at getting a vision of Gwen becoming queen isn't because she is queen, but because she's ARTHURS queen (I do want to clarify that Gwen and Morgana's relationship in this au is platonic, but it only makes sense for Morgana to want one of her soulmates to rule beside her, and her other soulmates are her sister and a child)
So all the attempts on Gwen's life are gone (though both the shade plot and the dark tower might still be in play, but with the intention to get Gwen back all to herself, not to harm her)
(Merlin does not know Morgana is one of Gwen's other soulmates until after he poisoned her and Gwen let's slipped that she's really worried about Morgana, but at least she knows she's alive.)
(Gwen being Morgana's soulmate is a treasure trove of angst that I do plan on exploring fully)
The Coming of Arthur is going to be fun in regards to Morgana and Gwen (and Leon)
Morgana promising Gwen that no harm will come to her, not with her by her side.
"I know it's not fair of me to make you choose between soulmates, but Gwen, I can bring peace back to Camelot. Magic can be free again, soulmates cherished as they are supposed to be. Please, join me."
But the thing is, Morgana isn't just asking Gwen to choose between two halves of her soul. She knows both Leon and Merlin would never forsake Arthur, and if she chose Morgana, she would also lose both of them, not just Arthur. It's an unfair position to be in, an impossible situation (she chooses anyway. The Morgana she knew never would have ordered the death of innocent civilians to punish those who would not obey her. Something happened to the girl she loves, shes having trouble recognizing the holder of a piece of her soul)
(Gwen still goes to the dungeon to bring Leon food, though it goes a little differently, with Leon learning that Morgana is her soulmate. More on that in another post)
Arthur is going to repeal the laws against soulmates and magic as soon as he becomes king (he has been aware of Merlin’s status as a sorcerer for years and is unable to see how magic can be evil and corrupting when Merlin is one of the best people he knows and his soulmate to boot)
Due to most of them growing up under laws that prohibit talking about soulmates, it takes everybody far too fucking long to realize that they are all soulmates with each other cause no one says anything or compares notes.
I know its mean, but they finally figure it all out following Lancelot's death
(I have tried to figure out a way for him to survive but I really don't think he can)
(Poor Gwen all alone in Camelot breaking down while helping care for people because she feels Lancelot *die* with only Gaius to help her. No other soulmates available to hold her and help her feel a little less empty, a little less alone.)
Everyone experiencing the same pain and all knowing they just lost Lancelot leads to conversation.
Because while everyone in the group had been bonded with Lancelot, not everyone is bound together, which is totally possible, but Arthur knows he's soul bound to half this group, it would make sense to check if there's others in the group.
I will make a separate post about the events of the darkest hour cause I think this would get very long if I had it in here
Now, something I haven't gotten into yet is the magic part of soulmates (so far it's mainly been the destiny and social ramifications and interpersonal details)
Soulmarks are magic, and in some cases, an individual can develop a soulmate ability, a single ability that can be used in regards to exclusively one's bonded soulmates
Now these abilities vary in strength and specificity, some are dictated by touch, others apply no matter where they are in the world
Some soulmate abilities I've come up with thus far are:
The ability to always know what direction their soulmate is in relation to themself
The ability to know when their soulmate is lying to them, and a more broad varient of always knowing when they are lying period
The ability to always instinctually know what it is their soulmate truly means when they speak (I'm very tempted to give this to Gwen because I think it would make things interesting with Morgana, but I am worried it might break things a bit)
The ability to know what their soulmate is feeling emotionally by looking at them or touching them (I think I'm going to give this one to Leon?)
An ability confined to touch that brings to the soulmate's attention what their body most needs at that moment. (It's requires intent to be put into use, and it doesn't necessarily make the soulmate do that thing? It's not compulsory. It's more "Hey you're fucking exhausted you need sleep," or "Crying sounds so nice right now," or "Dude, EAT," and they can still fight these things, if they choose to, but those things are now at the forefront of their attention (making them more likely to be heeded))
Now, an ability I've thought EXTENSIVELY about:
A very rare and (before Uther nuked everything having to do with magic and soulmates) coveted ability that allows someone to, through constant touch, share their life force with their dying soulmate in order to keep then alive.
So say, for example, somebody (Soulmate A) is actively bleeding out from a fatal wound. The soulmate with the ability (Soulmate B) would have to touch soulmate A, skin to skin contact, and have this desperation, determination that soulmate A will not die, they won't let them.
Now, a couple things would happen.
One: Soulmate B's soulmark on Soulmate A's skin would move in some way to the point of injury (the method may vary depending on what their mark looks like. Like if the mark was a flower, the stem may extend and the mark itself stays stationary, or if it's something that's alive it would just fully move) and start "healing" the wound
Healing being in quotes because
Two: The injury is really being transferred partially to Soulmate B, enough so that the injury to Soulmate A is no longer immediately fatal, for the duration that they keep contact with Soulmate A. This buys Soulmate A time to be healed properly, but if the underlying injury is not healed in a timely manner, both Soulmate A and B could die.
Healing Soulmate A would also heal Soulmate B, as it was never truly their injury (though it sure feels and acts like it, and can be just as deadly if help isn't gotten in time.)
Because this ability is so inherently magic and is considered a spell, Soulmate B, even if they have the capacity to use other magic, can not cast a healing spell while using this spell, as it's only possible to cast one spell at a time.
I am naturally giving this ability to Merlin.
But the thing about abilities like this one is that it's impossible to know if you have it or not until the situation calls for it for the first time. It's impossible to know until your soulmate is dying right in front of you. Until you reach out and wish with every fiber in your being that they survive and they DO
The other thing about this ability? It can only be used once per soulmate. One get out of death free card and that's it
I haven't fully figured out if the dark tower would still happen, but if it does, Merlin would discover this ability saving Elyan's life (with the help of the knights who have to on the fly learn healing magic or else lose *both* of them)
That's going to be it for this post as it's starting to get long, but I have other posts I'm already working on. Also, if anyone has any questions, ideas, or suggestions in regards to this au, please feel free to send them my way!
#liv writes#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#sir lancelot#gwen#guinevere pendragon#morgana pendragon#sir elyan#the knights of the round table#platonic soulmate au merlin edition#sir leon#i might be able to save lancelot during the shade plot but it would be angsty as fucking shit and they might end up choosing to let him go#if the saving your soulmate from the brink of death ability feels a bit wonky its because i first developed this au and this ability#in a modern setting with doctors and hospitals and surgery and systems in place to accommodate situations like this#its a bit more iffy in a medieval world where a cold can be a death sentence and the only way to really ensure survival is magic#the next post will get into some scenes scattered through the time line including gwen and leons conversation in the dungeons#all of them actually involve leon and id apologize for that but it would be disingenuous so i wont#i love him okay and i enjoy writing for him hes the main character of my heart
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Thinking about the whole complaint that so many characters these days are too self-aware about their mental health, or use modern therapy-language in an unrealistically casual way.
I think part of this is we've forgotten that it's possible to write about characters (to use our modern language) healing from trauma without using therapy language to describe their experiences.
But the thing is, people have been writing about mental health for thousands of years. Thomas Hoccleve describes himself having what we would call a mental breakdown. Margery Kempe's book of visions opens with her going through post-partum depression. But the language they use is different because of when they lived.
So in light of that, I think it's important to consider what language your character would realistically use.
#this has been on my brain a lot lately due to#untitled arthurian thing#i think there are stories where therapy language makes sense#(for all the mcu's flaws there's a couple places in the mcu where it feels natural because sam wilson is a counselor#that's the language he has and would reasonably use! so i'm not mad about it!)#but such instances are not especially common#and even when characters DO have reason to use that language that doesn't mean they SHOULD#(despite being a psychologist mulder doesn't really use that language to talk about his own trauma to my recollection#and this makes sense honestly due to how his character is)#((there's also the element that irl the answer to Why Am I Like This is often WAY more complicated than we make it out to be#so the 'i did x because of y' thing sometimes comes across as disingenuous))#i'm just rambling here#stuff i found in my drafts#writing tag#queue
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For any toontown tierlist fans out there. I made a tierlist for toons (mainly from ttcc, some rewritten is included) since I couldn't find any. I'll attach and image below of all the ones I included, but if anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears.
Link if you want it
#clemramble#actually im tagging it now. i lied about doing it later 3s ago#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#Some of these characters are cross-server#like surlee and lowden and flippy and you get the idea.#But if they were in clash I used the clash images since it was easier on me#theres also some characters missing bc theres no wiki link and with so many toons i didnt feel like going into game and personally-#screenshotting them. But I might add more later and do it#my goal is to eventually get every toon. unless theres over 2000 in which im limited by the website#Also requests aren't just ttcc exclusive. i'll add rewritten ones too if ppl want. idc im a toon fan i heart all toons#im just a ttcc focused acc/player so i feel it disingenuous to add a bunch of rewritten toons#anyways if this exists already i'll delete but all the ones i found were like. toon species or sounds and i wanted NPCS!!!
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to put a long story short: at the end of ffxiv's base game, literally Directly before the beginning of its first expansion (heavensward), there is a series of quests and story arcs that eventually snowball into an hour-long cutscene in which the entire thing comes to a head in the literal worst way possible. like, "the hero's plans all go horribly wrong and several major characters die onscreen, with others going missing (presumed dead), eventually culminating in the player character being framed for the murder of the leader of a nation-state and being Literally Forced To Flee The Country" wrong.
heavensward leads directly on from this plotline. you arrive at the major location of the expansion in the midst of seeking asylum whilst being a wanted criminal everywhere else in the world right now. it's like. A Whole Thing. the game makes such a big deal out of it all. the fandom does as well. and for good reason!! it's a really good moment!!!!!!
and then roughly 1/3rds of the way into heavensward you find out that literally none of it mattered. nobody important actually died, no changes were actually made to the status quo, and nothing comes of being literally kicked out of the country for (what is implied to be) several in-universe weeks, if not months. None Of It Mattered. None.
TLDR; the bloody banquet is a major, exciting, and very infamous twist that seems like it's going to segway into a MAJOR upheaval of the status quo and some really intriguing ramifications for the story as a whole... and then heavensward does away with literally all of that and practically writes the entire thing off as a waste of time.
you may be able to see why i'm so salty about it.
#also worth noting that the nation-state leader (who's death was The one you were framed for)#was assassinated specifically because she was trying to reform her country's merchantile incredibly corrupt leadership system#into a more bearable democracy that would give voice to the people instead of the greedy scumbags currently in power#one of the members of the syndicate (a group of rich people who at this point have more power than the sultana- her)#tried to kill her bc. well. obviously reformation would mean they wouldnt be in control anymore.#and so her supposed death is the big crux of the bloody banquet#and then. THEN. heavensward goes OUT OF ITS WAY to reveal she is not only ALIVE AND PERFECTLY FINE#(she got drugged with the classic fantasy eternal sleep that looks like death medication)#but that her plan for reformation was ACTIVELY STUPID. she DOESN'T GET TO DO IT. NOTHING ABOUT THE STATE OF UL'DAH CHANGES#THE GAME JUST TELLS YOU BETTER GUYS ARE IN CHARGE NOW AND EXPECTS YOU TO BE FINE WITH THAT?#AS THOUGH THE ORIGINAL PLAN TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM ENTIRELY WAS THE FLAWED PART OF THIS EQUATION?#god. i hate it so much. if you're not gonna change the status quo at least have the balls to kill off a character for christ's sake#i can rant abt it all day. it's just such a travesty on every level#yin-thoughts#ffxiv#also for the record ''bloody banquet'' is a fan term. the whole thing isnt called anything in-universe iirc#it's just a catchy title for an infamous sequence wherein people die at a banquet. you know how it be#it's just. god. something about it is just so utterly vile. the game all but looks nanamo (and to some extent the player) in the eyes#and goes How Dare You Try And Change The System. You're Stupid For Thinking This Could Work.#it feels so disingenuous and mean spirited and now the entire thing just leaves the worst possible taste in my mouth#and it SUCKS. because the bloody banquet scene itself is INCREDIBLE. but the way the game handles it after it happens is just#so bad!! it's so bad!!!! aughhhh it's so so so so so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the ffxiv writers are so in love with preserving the norm and so terrified of changing it up and/or killing off established characters#ive ranted abt it before and knowing myself i'll rant about it many a time again. it just sucks man#ffxiv crit
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guys i might change my url again
#june shines#AGIAN LMAFODHAWHWEK#the reason is simple........ this username is a direct reference to my baptism 3 years ago and i really don't feel like having that reminde#all the time anymore#like girl idk!!! shit happened i can't do the faith stuff#so having a username like that feels disingenuous and mocking now#anyways haha the believer was never believing which kind of undermined the identity!#just wait for it#i might keep the alias of june for awhile though i really like it:)
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