#but it's HARD to make a deeply personal post about how people's discourse is making me feel lost and hurt and alone

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

[starlight-bread-blog]

My Interpetation of The Southern Raiders: Part 1 – A\ang

Warning: The views expressed in this analysis will be very critical of Aang. If you aren't critical of him in this episode, you aren't going to enjoy this post. This is your chance to leave. I probably won't have a debate for personal reasons.

——————

The Southern Raiders is probably one of the most discussed episodes in the fandom. Everyone knows Zuko Alone is great, but the discussion surrounding this episode is a war zone. In this essay I will try to answer every question posed in the discourse. This is part 1 out of three. In this part, I will discuss A\ang. I believe that understanding both Zuko and Aang's decisions in this episode will give us great insight into Katara's. Because the this episode is hers.

——————

1. Is Aang's philosophy of forgiveness valid?

(1) "Revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself".

(2) "You do have a choice: forgiveness". // "It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive". // "Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing".

This philosophy is indeed morally sound. Revenge comes from rage, a negative emotion that causes harm in the long run. Forgiveness is letting go of that rage, which is healing. I cannot write a full thesis, this essay is not about that. But on paper, I do agree with A\ang. He's right to say that letting go of rage is a better alternative than getting consumed by it. (However, his philosophy might not help some).

——————

2. Was A\ang being insensitive when talking to Katara?

First I must reiterate, a lot of people frame the conflict of the episode as one regarding the ethics of murder. In my interpretation, it is not. During this episode Katara was in a deeply emotional place. Her rage stemmed from intense grief and those around her should treat her as a mourner - with great sensitivity.

Now, was Aang being this sensitive with Katara? Well, in my opinion, very much so.

Imagine a scenario where A\ang just happens to meet Haru, and he's about to go on a quest to find revenge on who imprisoned his father. He tries to help him with the following sentences:

(1) Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

(2) Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?

(3) I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge.

(4) Haru, you sound like Jet.

(5) The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself.

(6) Haru, you do have a choice: forgiveness.

(7) No, it's not. It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive.

(8) You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.

Everything makes sense, right? The pieces fit.He just talks about his cultura\personal values, nothing about what Katara needs at the moment. He could have had this exact conversation with Haru without changing a thing.

Therefore his lines are impersonal and thus preachy. In this conversation he doesn’t show signs of trying to convince Katara not to end her mother’s killer because she is, fundamentally, a good person and couldn’t live having committed murder. He shows signs of trying to make her obey his cultural ethos. This is highly insensitive. Katara was in a very emotional place, filled with rage and grief. And his response was, intentionally or not, to impose his own cultural principles onto her.

But his lines weren’t insensitive just because they were preachy, some of them were judgmental and even harsh. When A\ang is first confronted with Katara’s intentions, he says:

A\ang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

You can tell from his tone and how the rest of the conversation plays out that he does know what Katara thinks this will accomplish. He asks the question as a form of disapproval - that he thinks that going after Yon Rha won’t accomplish anything. He’s not being genuine, he’s casting judgment on her. He’s almost looking down on her and Zuko, looking down from a moral high ground and sarcastically interrogating the two. Another line that sticks out is

A\ang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

He says she sounds like the man who wanted to flood an entire village full of innocent civilians. He’s insulting her, and greatly so, all the while wanting to keep a moral high ground. This is incredibly rude and condescending.

In the next scene, right after the intense argument concludes, it appears as though A\ang comes around to the journey Katara was about to go through.

A\ang: I wasn't planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man.But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.

While he’s still discouraging Katara, it’s not outright condescending. But it’s as clear as day that he’d just preferred if she didn’t go on the journey at all. When he sees Zuko and Katara taking Appa to find Yon Rha, he says:

A\ang: So you were just gonna take Appa anyway?

Clearly disapproving of Katara. He doesn’t want her to go on the journey to find inner peace, he wants her to forgive the man who killed her mother right here and right now. He couldn’t change her mind on the subject, so he’ll advise her the next best thing. It is worth noting that in the beginning, before he advises her, he cracks a joke.

A\ang: It's okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?

Overall, A\ang’s behavior is unsympathetic and callous.Instead of placing his focus on Katara’s wellbeing, he preaches about Air Nomad teachings and goes as far as insulting her. Even when he comes around, it’s not because he realized his mistakes, it’s because he knew he couldn’t change her mind. And then he makes a humorous remark while giving him his supposed new found advice. The answer is: Yes. Aang was very insensitive when talking to Katara.

——————

3. Did A\ang know what Katara needed?

I don’t think he did. A\ang thought Katara needed to forgive Yon Rha, and as we previously established, without going after him. But even if we look at his second advice, she still doesn’t follow it.

A\ang: This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. [Katara situates herself on Appa's head.] But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.

Katara explicitly didn’t forgive Yon Rha, and yet the whole point of the ending is that she’s in a better place now. No matter what Zuko says, A\ang didn’t know what Katara needed. And considering that his lines in the episode were as impersonal as they were, it isn’t a surprise.

——————

In conclusion, A\ang’s behavior in The Southern Raiders is questionable at best. He might have had pure intentions, and had a good message, but the way he put out the message was degrading and preachy. And in the end, he didn’t know what was the right thing for Katara.

Continued

[evesaintyves]

one of the most confusing aspects of the "make harry potter characters straight again" discourse that's been circulating for the past few months is the assertion that the only reason people headcanon Tonks as queer is the fact that she's introduced with short hair and that's a lesbian stereotype. i mean, i think that's self-evidently silly and an incredibly shallow reading of her character, but i've elaborated on some personal and canonical reasons that i write tonks that way here and here; @saintsenara summarizes this discourse beautifully here as well. i've seen a number of deeply queerphobic takes on this, including entire metas that insinuate that it would be a disgusting self-betrayal for tonks to use her shapeshifting abilities to, for example, change her sex; imagine how trans people in your readership might feel about that.

but beyond that, the logical extension of this argument is that queer people recognizing and making a space for themselves in fiction is discriminatory somehow - insisting that everyone is canonically heterosexual because of their endgame relationship, however, occupies some kind of moral high ground. i understand that much of this is a reaction to wolfstar and jegulus and how silly, annoying and sometimes actively hostile, fetishistic, and misogynistic those fandoms can be - tons of legitimate criticisms here! - but i think we should acknowledge that canon-compliant fic is also absolutely rotten with misogyny, poor characterization, etc. further, there's a sinister through-line in this discourse that people who just want to see characters be straight and make babies are being persecuted by having to countenance queer readings at all - i've literally seen the word 'heterophobia' bandied about - and it's hard not to notice the parallels with some of the real-life backlash against increased queer visibility, which has actual, life-altering consequences for some of us irl. like, some of these posts are just fandom-specific jordan petersen tweets - the woke mob won't let you be straight and have babies anymore!! especially ridiculous to someone living in a place where a miscarriage is a potential criminal offense and federal courts have had to intervene to prevent drag performers and trans people from ending up on the sex-offender registry.

it's been really disappointing to see the vicious enthusiasm with which the remadora fandom has embraced these posts, and it's incredibly alienating as a queer author and reader who just wants to scroll my fucking feed without ten different reblogs of bad-faith arguments that queer imaginings of hp characters are not just personally irritating to you but are somehow destroying canon, fandom, and the very fabric of society (won't somebody think of the endangered institution of heterosexual male friendship?!); you may not mean to direct this kind of thing at your queer readership, but you are, we see it, and it's unmistakeable that there are a lot of ugly unexamined ideas about us behind all those fuck-jkr bios.

[daddyduncan69]

One of my recent posts got a few comments about media literacy being dead and Neil being an unreliable narrator so I want to clear some things up.

Firstly, media literacy isn't dead becuase it cannot die. Also, I am not a big fan of fear mongering. Humans have always sought to understand and communicate with each other about the things we create. It is a skill that can be taught and should be practiced. There is no one right way to do it. And, while I think the education system fails so many of us (something something to make us easier to control something something), I also think that there are tons of resources to help us learn without the need for an official "teacher". So, instead of pessimistically saying is it "dead" (especially on someone's textual analysis post, like... are you saying I prove it's dead becuase I don't have media literacy? are you agreeing with me and therefore proving yourself wrong? do I not count for some reason? i don't think I get it), engage in discourse about media that you love. And I mean actual discourse, not just fighting on social media about whether or not everyone should "like" your favorite character. Ask yourself "what is the effect of this rhetorical device in the text?" "is the text trying to make me like or not like this character? is it working, why or why not," (do not ask "why did the author do this?" because that is not relevant nor are you a mind reader). Take free online Literature classes from colleges that help you learn how to analyze. Invite others to do it with you. Join or start a book club. Engage in various types of media, not just YA, fantasy, fiction, etc. Consider kindly rebutting or offering a counter point to other people's interpretations, bringing actual textual evidence to back up your points. Use Google Scholar to access free scholarly articles to see academic prospectives on various medias that are not just from social media or blogs. Your local library may even have subscriptions to paid sights like JSTOR or collections of essays that would let you access articles that are otherwise behind a paywall. All of these things can help improve your own media literacy and, in turn, will help improve the media literacy of the people around you.

Secondly, the point of my other post was NOT that Neil is an unreliable narrator. I've seen a lot of people make this claim so I wanted to chime in. Unreliable narrators are marked by a few characteristics, some of which are exaggeration, detachment from reality, naivety, and deception of the reader. I don't believe Neil falls into any of these categories. I would be open to arguments that claim he does, but it would be hard to sway me because I can't find any textual evidence to support it. This is an important distinction to me because the larger claim I make in that post is that ALL narration, 1st person, 3rd person, omniscient, limited, etc is biased- all of it. It is CRUCIAL as readers to identify a narrators biases and consider the text through that lens. If you aren't practicing doing that (or only doing it when the narrator is "unreliable") you can easily fall into the trap of saying "well Neil says Kevin is a coward so he is", which is obviously an issue in the grand scheme of textual analysis. However, you can also easily fall into the trap of saying "Neil is an unreliable narrator because he is wrong about things/lies to people/has trauma so you can't trust him". I believe that Neil tells us as the reader the truth in his narration almost 100% of the time, Neil just lies to the other characters 24/7. So, as readers we should take what he says in his internal monologue at face value but question the motives behind his dialogue with other characters.

Anyway, that was a long winded, probably boring monologue about critical textual analysis. I devote maybe 16 out of my 18 waking hours to thinking about this, so thanks for hanging in there to read it all. I just care so deeply that we as a culture continue to grow these skills without shaming those who haven't had the same opportunities to learn how to do it or making the act of learning how to feel hopeless or doomed.

[ribby16]

I am definitely behind on The Bear compared to most people on here (just started the show last week and got to s3e02 yesterday), but I have a lot of thoughts and just want to put them out there.

I came into the show with little to no idea of what it was about. I didn’t even watch a trailer prior to starting the show. Just got a lot of tiktoks on my fyp talking about how they were excited to watch the new 3rd season so I finally gave the show a try. I must say, going in blind, I was most definitely deeply into season 1. The subject matter of The Bear was really not something I had deeply considered before (fine dining/being a chef), but I became so engrossed in learning about it from the show.

However season 2 is really what blew me away. “Fishes” is probably the best episode of TV I have a watched in a long, long time. As someone who also has a dysfunctional parent, seeing that behavior on a show really hit so hard for me. The awkward silences and tension leading to the inevitable blowup was so relatable and just so fucking real and raw.

And that is when I started to see the show from the writers’ perspective, from Carmy’s perspective. I really, deeply understood and related to why Carmy is the way that he is, and why he puts his blood, sweat, and tears into his work. He has more reason than most to do so. And that’s when even though I have been shipping sydcarmy since s1e01 (yes, I shipped them organically without being influenced by internet discourse that I hadn’t even looked at prior to watching the show, so that should say something) I am okay with them not getting in a romantic relationship in the show.

This is not one of those “we need more platonic relationships in media” soap boxing posts. What Syd and Carmy have is more than platonic, period. The symbolism and moments that the directors and writers have intentionally chosen to show truly display this and there’s little to no room for misinterpretation. Hell, even in the acting you can see that what they have is different. The way Carmy stares at Syd, the looks he gives her, I don’t believe it’s purely platonic. And that brings me to Claire, who is not just a distraction in the sense that Carmy forgot to do major things in the restaurant because he was focused on her (which is totally Carmy’s fault by the way). Claire is a reminder of Carmy’s dysfunctional family and his shitty relationship with his mom. The writers did not give Claire enough meat in her role to be the catalyst that pushes Carmy to break free from his trauma and be better. They gave that role to Sydney.

That being said, I don’t think Syd and Carmy getting together romantically is what will make the show complete. They are both damaged in different ways and damage + damage usually doesn’t equal a good romantic relationship.

What I do want, is for Syd and Carmy to get their partnership back in season 4. To work well the way they always have together, to focus on their baby that is the restaurant. Getting this partnership back is what I believe can push Carmy to be who he wants to be. We see multiple moments throughout the show where Carmy acts crazy with his team in a moment of weakness and then immediately regrets it. I can relate to that so much it almost hurts. The feeling of becoming like the parent who destroyed your childhood begets the worst kind of self-loathing.

I want to see Carmy’s personal growth and I want to see Sydney get over her fear of failure and get her so well-deserved success. As much as I deeply want to see them together, I am okay with satiating that need with fanfiction (lmao) as long as the show shows the character arcs that we deserve. I am rooting for Syd and Carmy in every which way, along with all the other characters whom I have grown to love as well.

[edenfenixblogs]

outside of the general principles of credibility and fact-checking (or including those if you want) and looking for commitment to peace and shared prosperity like you mentioned in your pinned, do you have any other advice on gauging the reliability of sources regarding israel/palestine? or any particular sources you recommend as reliable or warn against as unreliable? there's so much misinfo and disinfo out there that i often end up getting overwhelmed and sharing nothing specific - and i know that's not exactly helpful, i'm just not sure where to start.

This is SUCH a good and important question!!! Thank you so much for asking it. I’ve been waiting until after work today to answer, so I can give it the attention it deserves.

This is an incredibly complex topic. It is completely ok to tackle only one item of this at a time. It is ok to spend more time listening than speaking. It is ok to only do basic fact checking until these things become second nature. It seems like a lot. But it actually becomes quite simple when you realize that, as a member of a non-affected group, your only job is to steer the conversation toward truth and peace.

That means most of what you are doing is rejecting sources and individuals engaging in bad faith discourse by simply not engaging with them. Your next most common task will be to publicly fact check bad faith discourse or incorrect information that has spread too far.

It is tempting to become outraged when you become familiar with bad faith discourse and data and see it spread widely. However, remember that this is incredibly complex and even the most experienced people get things wrong on this subject all the time. If you notice an error in what appears to be someone trying to bring attention to a cause they care deeply about, approach with kindness first. Always.

Try a reblog or a personal message with a link to the problematic post and say something like,

Hey. I care a lot about [issue] too. And I am trying really hard to make sure everything being spread right now is verifiable and accurate so nobody gets upset about things that aren’t true. Did you know that [thing you said+link to the post where you said it] was actually proven false by [reliable source+link to that source]? I’m really glad that didn’t happen. Of course, terrible things are still happening [to Palestinians/Israelis/Jews/Muslims/Arabs] on/in [college campuses/diaspora/Palestine/Israel/etc] there all the time. But at least nobody has to suffer through [incorrect info]. By the way, I’ve found a lovely organization run by actual Palestinians/Israelis/Arabs/Muslims/Jews working together to find peace for all. Check it out, I think it has promise! [link to reliable cause/organization]

Here is a wonderful site for MENA-based organizations geared toward fostering a shared peaceful future in a variety of ways.

Give the poster a chance to self correct. You will be wrong in the future. Model the way you would like to be informed of an error.

I briefly touched on the basics of identifying any source as reliable here. I won’t reiterate because this may be a long post and I wanna save space. But it contains the basics of what I learned in college.

One of the most important things to keep in mind is that no source is objective. No source is without bias. And there is no way to make any source objective or without bias.

News is written by people. And all people have viewpoints. Giving all voices in a conflict equal importance is not inherently unbiased, because that risks giving support to more harmful ideas and equating harmful ideas, ideologies, and organizations with reasonable ones. Likewise, asserting that one viewpoint is correct and being unwavering in this belief no matter what is obviously no way to cultivate a balanced and well informed viewpoint.

Your job is to use critical thinking skills to examine the level of bias in a piece of media as well as how responsibly the source handles that bias. Your job is also to do your best to be aware of bias as well as what bias is relevant to the subject matter being reported. A source that is left leaning, but never shares fake information and is always verifiable is preferable to a source that is moderate but consistently shares half truths or faulty information.

Sometimes, information from a less than ideal source can be shared, but if you are sharing that source, you must explicitly state that source’s flaws and why you chose to share that information anyway. And if you are unable to find a better source, you should state that you are sharing information that may be incomplete or inaccurate and you are happy to update the post you are sharing if and when more information or confirmation from a more reliable source emerges. There are very limited situations where this is appropriate. Usually I would suggest not sharing information from such sources at all unless it can be backed up by better information.

One example of such a case is information about antisemitic hate crimes from the ADL. The ADL has a very problematic history and one should be aware of it when they share statistical data from the organization. However, that doesn’t make their information inherently unusable. It makes their information inherently suspect, though. In order for anything shared from the ADL to be worth sharing, you should be able to evaluate the data collection method and the sources of the data. And if there is any information in the data you are sharing that is not appropriate, you should explicitly draw attention to it, not try to hide it.

Case Study: Global Antisemitic Incidents in the Wake of Hamas’ War on Israel

This list contains very useful data on incidents of antisemitic violence against Jews in diaspora since 10/7/2023. I trust this data because: it links to each individual news source it references, often with pictures of the attacker/attack/incident and time stamps. It’s data is open to questioning and its sources are available to check individually. This is in line with the ADL’s mission statement of tracking antisemitism. Documenting antisemitism is not an inherently biased practice nor do I have any reason to believe that they lie about the antisemitic incidents they document. As that is not one of the things that critics accuse the ADL of, I do not see a reason to question its record on antisemitic incident reporting. I have never heard a critic make a substantiated claim against their formally collected data as falsified. I am willing to be proven wrong on this, but I will interrogate a source claiming this as thoroughly as I interrogate the ADL as a source itself. I am skeptical of this source because: the title of the article uses extremely biased language that makes the war seem one sided. The advantage of this source is: it is one of the few sources existing that collects data on antisemitic violence and hate incidents of Jews in diaspora. A sign of good faith from the organization: they dedicate a page to addressing criticisms of their organization, which means they feel confident that criticisms of them will stand up to scrutiny. It is not sufficient to use this page to absolve them of any of the listed criticisms, but it should help you find articles that critique the ADL as well as relevant information that supports their defense. Thus, you must come to your own conclusion on whether or not that information is trustworthy on the matter you are commenting on. A sign of possible bad faith from the organization: their page devoted to confronting myths and inaccuracies about their organization’s history does not address accusations about supporting South African Apartheid or failing to call the Armenian Genocide a genocide. An acknowledgment of my own limitations: I am not an expert in South African Apartheid in any way nor am I an expert on the Armenia genocide. Any other relevant information: Any reputable news sources verify information before reporting. If a news source that is verifiably responsible in its reporting cites information from the ADL, I will assume they have made adequate inquiries to verify that information as accurate enough to report. For example, if AP reported information and cited the ADL statistics, I would assume that the ADL made sure the data fit its high standard for reportage.

Conclusion: I find the ADL to be a trustworthy enough source of data about antisemitic attacks and incidents on Jews in diaspora, but only in cases where their sources and/or methodology are made public and/or another more regulated or otherwise more reliable source of statistical information partners with them. Because I lack expertise on South African Apartheid on the Armenian Genocide, I will not share information from the ADL about Palestinian apartheid, segregation, oppression, or genocide (until or unless I become more well-versed in these topics or am able to devote substantial energy into fact checking each claim in what I share. If I ever choose to do this, I will share every source I used to verify the information so that others may check my work and inform me if I’m wrong. At this time, I do not foresee a situation where I would refer to the ADL for matters about Palestinian concerns). The ADL in general and the linked source in particular seems to be an overall worthwhile source to cite on matters of antisemitism. The ADL does not meet my standards of a reliable source on Palestinian suffering. Check each link/source on an ADL source you want to share and form an informed conclusion on its reliability before sharing.

Also, be aware that primary sources with biased information are extremely valuable but never objective on their own. A tweet from the IDF or a statement from a released Palestinian prisoner may both be true! But sharing them as if they are definitely true without fact checking the information through the most trustworthy sources available is irresponsible. Do not share any social media information as fact. You are free to share social media information and publicly explore its implications in a responsible manner, but it is not responsible to discuss them as facts.

Case study: When something in Gaza or Israel is bombed, be sure that you know who the key players and commentators are.

When the IDF releases a statement blaming Hamas for bombing their own citizens, know that the IDF has a vested interest in not being perceived as an aggressor. When the Ministry of Health in Gaza accuses the Israeli military of being responsible for the attack, be aware that the Ministry of Health in Gaza is run by Hamas and is not a third party neutral source. Do not post anything about an event like this until the information is fully vetted by a neutral third party source (or as neutral as you are likely to find on such a hot button issue).

The best way you can help during an emerging story is to urge others to wait for full details, call out people irresponsibly casting blame before the facts are in (especially politicians), and repeatedly verify every source of information as they are named so that you know if they are trustworthy. Do not trust politicians who espouse inflammatory and prematurely accusatory information and do not make a public retraction and apology when they are found to be wrong.

That said, it is always appropriate to express sorrow for loss of life. You do not need to accuse a killer in order to do this.

There are also sites geared toward helping you identify the source itself fairly. Note: sites like these will help you evaluate the publication or news entity (eg New York Times, Al Jazeera, Haaretz, etc.). They won’t help you evaluate an individual journalist or article.

Some sites to help you verify credibility:

Media Bias Fact Check: Allows you to verify sources based on the news source’s political bias in terms of a left-right spectrum as well as by their reliability on matters of science, their use of questionable sources, and use of satire. Also, you can check how reliably factual the source’s reporting is. You can also sort by country, media type, general credibility, and how well trafficked the source is. They also publicly offer insight into their methodology of coming to these conclusions.

The Associated Press (AP) fact checks individual claims. Other news organizations fact checking claims include Reuters, The Washington Post and AFP. While AP is a gold standard and generally reliable, be aware that news organizations are also subject to bias. The advantage is that news organizations have investigative reporters on staff to investigate claims. The disadvantage is the bias inherent to the publication itself.

Other third party cites checking facts in news reports and in politics include:

FactCheck.org

Politifact

Snopes

Lakehead University offers an entire site devoted to developing media literacy as well as many ways to search fact checking sites. So does Kansas State University, and UMass Amherst. Many universities offer sites like this. I urge you to look into them.

Once you find a news or data source you trust, do a quick google search on the journalist’s name and a relevant phrase to the aspect of the conflict being reported on. For example The Newspaper Tribune Times Chronicle may be trustworthy. Veteran reporter, Ima Journalist may have written an article about Israel Bombing Gaza. So, before sharing it, just Google: “Ima journalist” + Israel Palestine Jews antisemitism Islamophobia. Make sure you don’t see something like “Ima Journalist photographed screaming ‘Hitler was actually a super good guy!’ anywhere in her history. When satisfied, feel free to share the story.

Other points to keep in mind:

Be aware of crappy tactics on both sides of the i/p conflict.

The IDF is often accused of excessive violence and planting evidence on Palestinians. This often leads to Palestinians being unfairly accused of terrorist intent and criminal violence.

Hamas uses civilians as human shields — both by using individual humans as shields and also launching bombs from civilian buildings (like hospitals, preschools, and libraries), building militaristic infrastructure in or beneath those same civilian buildings, and instigating conflict with IDF soldiers positioned near residential and civilian locations. This allows Hamas to escape criticism by framing the IDF as mindlessly bloodthirsty and eager to kill Palestinian civilians.

And finally, make sure accusations and talking points never conform to antisemitic conspiracy theories.

The universal aspects of antisemitic conspiracy theories (detailed more fully in the source linked above and also in another post I made) are:

Accusing Jews of replacing another group or population

Accusing Jews of pretending to be something they are not

Accusing Jews of dominating or attempting to dominate a prominent or essential aspect of a society or the world at large.

Accusing Jewish people of genocide and bloodlust in pursuit of personal gain

Accusing Jews of undue privilege or if appropriating something belonging to others.

Dehumanizing Jews by grouping them under a collective name or identity.

I hope this helps! Feel free to share it!

[spyroz]

i dont reblog those posts about how hard it is to have moralizing ocd in online spaces, even though i deeply resonate with them. ironically, i can only talk to 2 people about my ocd, because one of my obsessions is that other people will assume im using my mental health as a shield against criticism if i talk about it. therefore, if i talk about my ocd in any circumstance, my brain believes that i'm already doing something immoral

basically, most of my obsessions resolve around people assuming bad faith of me or that i'm somehow secretly an irredeemably bad person, no matter how hard i try to be good. i am a bad person if i dont reblog posts about serious topics, spend every waking moment thinking about extremely serious topics, or make any social mistakes whatsoever (which is scary because i'm also autistic). i believe that i am irredeemable if i make a small mistake, and i often think all my friends are waiting for me to make a mistake so that they can attack me, and that my life will be ruined if i fuck up. im constantly scanning all my interests (and people i know) for the tiniest imperfections (far beyond healthy amounts of criticism in your interests) out of fear that liking anything or anyone makes me a horrible person. if you dont take a side on this lgbt label discourse, then youre a bigot! im ALWAYS mentally preparing responses and apologies to totally theoretical situations of people being upset with me. i have intrusive thoughts about doing the immoral things that scare me most.

the problem is, *talking about* any of these thoughts invites people who will actually bad faith me. "if youre so worried about this stuff, then you must have something to hide! you just want to avoid accountability!" they make your obsession a reality by accusing you of the exact thing you fear most. none of these thoughts are reasonable or realistic, and i know that. i know that i'm mentally ill. i know logically that i'm as good a person as anyone else. when i actually do make a mistake, i stay level-headed and apologize, acknowledge what i did wrong, and change my behavior

but there is a large part of me that does not want to heal from my ocd, because i believe constant self-monitoring and self-critique is the only thing preventing me from becoming a horrible person

there is nothing i want more in this world than to be a good altruistic human being who is capable of growth, but spending weeks trapped in thought loops analyzing all my behaviors for the smallest signs of a mistake will not help me be a better person. it makes me a worse friend. it drains my energy so that i dont have the mental capacity to actually spend time being kind to others. i reread this post many times while writing it to make sure i didnt accidentally write 6 different slurs. but i can't figure out how to heal. what the fuck do i do about this

this is incredibly hard for me to write about. i'm fighting the urge to delete this post as you read it. i cant stress how debilitating this is for me, it is the biggest hurdle in my life and it sucks away days worth of my time and energy. i will become trapped in thought-loops THE SECOND im not kept sufficiently busy and stimulated by tv/music/my bf/being out of the house somewhere/etc. so much of my life is wasted wanting to be good, that i dont get a chance to actually live the life of a good person

i really hope this post resonates with someone. ive only met a few other people who have this particular kind of ocd, and its extremely isolating. but i want to try to heal from it, and i know the first step to healing is talking about it

[shaymiens]

so the thing about smosh as a business entity on youtube is that they grew up in a culture where tricky decisions and hard conversations almost always got swept under the rug, outside of the knowledge of viewers. there's a reason why we didn't know how bad things were under defy until the entire company popped.

but even starting under mythical, it became clear to me that this is still the sort of culture that smosh continues to operate under. if you were following smoshblr around 2018-2020, you know that there were a lot of extremely relevant issues that fans cared about that smosh NEVER openly addressed or acknowledged. things like:

the original smosh games group saying they weren't given the same stake in the smosh company as others after mythical bought them

sohinki and boze pointing to matt raub as someone who treated them poorly within the company, while matt raub's presence in videos grew

hugely influential talent such as mari stepping away from smosh and feeling underappreciated because of how promptly and coldly things ended

zero transparency in handling sexual harrassment allegations against past talent

a lack of racial diversity in thumbnails and promotional content

smosh streaming on twitch, a platform for smaller, more indie creators/personalities, and keeping vods behind a paywall

i'm probably forgetting some other things but my point is that it would not surprise me at all if smosh either does nothing about noah or quietly lets him go as part-time talent, instead of releasing a statement that adequately addresses the reasonable concerns of fans who stand with palestine — because smosh has continually proven that they do not make public, company-wide statements on things that are just more than slightly inconvenient for them.

do i blame them? i mean, yeah. they're a youtube channel whose brand success hugely hinges on relatability, genuineness, and an intimate connection to the viewers. but in 2020 i personally had to reckon with the reality that smosh is indeed a business, and it's a large one at that. it makes tricky decisions quietly because for them, online discourse dies quickly enough and it's safer for the whole of their company and their employees to not fan those flames, especially if it means one of their own getting burned.

i do not watch the majority of smosh content nowadays. i tune into a few videos here and there. i understand that it's no longer personally relatable to me and that i now prefer watching content that feels more intimate and creatively passionate. i don't really get upset at smosh directly anymore because i've reformed my expectations of them as content creators.

i guess i'm saying all this because i know people want to love smosh and its content and its cast, and as a fellow obsessive fangirl of things, i want them to be able to love all of it wholeheartedly. but i feel bad that fans are anguished, waiting for something that i deeply suspect smosh will never give them. i hope i post this and i hop on instagram and i see i'm proven wrong lol. but really i just hope that me saying this will prevent some of the prolonged heartbreak that can come in caring about smosh as more than a content creation business. that's all

[fushiglow]

if you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Why you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

When I'm hyperfixating on a special interest, I find it really hard to remember anything that previously held my attention lol — so I'm struggling to answer this question, anon! I'm not a huge shipper usually, and I'm incredibly unenthusiastic about ship wars so I generally don't get involved.

That said, there are tons of ships I like in Jujutsu Kaisen. SatoSugu and Megumi are pretty much all I post about on here, but I've gained a few followers recently so it's probably worth saying because I've seen a lot of ship discourse elsewhere in the fandom recently:

If you're reading this and you really hate any of the ships I mention in this post, feel free to unfollow if it's that big a deal to you.

I'm really not interested in arguing about ships — because it just isn't that deep, I have limited free time to give to fandom and I'd rather spend it on things I love — so please don't get into that with me. However, if it's not a big deal to you, great to have you around! ♥

So, Jujutsu Kaisen ships I like below the cut:

Obviously, SatoSugu* has really captured my imagination. I don't think I've ever shipped anything as hard as I ship those two, but I talk about them all the time so I won't go into any more detail.

Other than that, I like GojoHime which I know is blasphemy for a SatoSugu shipper (I'm kidding, there's a bunch of us who ship both) but I don't think one has to preclude the other (after all, Gojo has two hands 👀). I've written two canonverse fics for GojoHime, and I've gently implied a former romantic relationship between SatoSugu in both.

I think lots of people read too deeply into the "she hates him" thing. Is he a bit of a dick to her? Absolutely, but treating Utahime like she's just a victim of the terrible Gojo Satoru takes away from her character — because she gives as good as she gets! I adore the contradiction in how she presents herself as this prim and proper miko, but she's actually a little firecracker who loses her temper easily and throws things at people and drinks heavily. Don't take that away from her, it's what makes her fun!

To me, it's obvious that their dynamic is designed to provide comic relief, but they trust each other when it comes down to it. In fact, I'd argue their bickering is evidence of that — if you're a polite person, you don't bicker with people you're not comfortable with. More than that, I like how Utahime is set up as a bit of a foil to Gojo. It's been said before, but there's a poetry in her technique making the 'strongest' stronger, especially considering that he goes to this character he's historically called weak to ask for help in the biggest fight of his life. Delicious!

Beyond that, I casually enjoy a bunch of other JJK ships. I don't actively seek out or create content for them, but I enjoy some of the art and fic when I come across it. Namely:

SaShiSu, in any configuration. SatoShoko is appealing to me for reasons I touched on in response to a question about Gojo's relationship with Shoko. SuguShoko is hot, simply because I think both characters are hot and they look hot together lol. I can even get behind poly SaShiSu!

OkkoFushi, because of Megumi's ~one line~ about respecting his senpai. It's essentially a crack ship, but I have the silliest little headcanon that Gojo brought Megumi to meet the first years sometime during JJK 0 and Megumi developed his first crush — see this adorable art for reference.

ItaFushi, ItaJun, and YutaMaki because they're all harmless and adorable.

GojoKen, because I love the potential for toxic angst.

KenTen, because "goodbye, old friend" — I'm sorry, what??? 👀

ShokoHime and ChosoYuki because they're all sexy as hell.

NobaMai, because they have sizzling chemistry.

KiraKari and MechaMiwa, because they're both canon as far as I'm concerned.

ShiuToji, because they're "business partners" — sure, guys!!

NanaGo, purely for the cute single dads art.

SukuGo, but only in a non-canon setting. They should have been besties in canon though 😔

Finally, the controversial one. Sukuna can stay the hell away from Megumi in canon (🥲) but I quite like SukuFushi in a specific AU setting — especially if Yuji and Sukuna are brothers in it! I have a soft spot for the Itadori twins, and I'm into the idea of big bully Sukuna meeting his match in his brat of a brother's quiet best friend with the deceptively sharp tongue (and knuckles).

However, I personally find that a lot of people mischaracterise Megumi in his ships and take away the aspects of his character that I really love (come on, he beat people the hell up at school!) so I'm not super into Megumi ships in general, despite the fact that he's my best boy.

As you can see, I'm really not that fussy about ships. In the past, I've definitely read fic featuring a side pairing that I'm not super into, but it won't stop me reading a good fic if there's a pairing I don't like in it. Sometimes, if it's well-written, I might even end up a fan!

Outside of JJK, there really isn't much. I don't follow many other animanga, but I think AkiAngel is a gorgeous ship and EreMika is cute although a bit bland. I think that's it though... Sorry this wasn't really what you asked for, but thank you for the question! ♥

*I just use the popular ship name, but I don't have any strong preferences when it comes to sexual dynamics so the name order isn't important to me — that goes for all the ships I like!

[elfi-nimwelana]

A Little about me...

Overview: I'm a former member of the Aristasian online community, where I went by many names before finally settling on "Elfriede Nimwelana". I chose "Elfriede" after my German grandmother passed away and I wanted to honor my most immediate genetic heritage ("Elfriede" coming from a combination of meanings, from what I understand, "Elf strength" and "Peace/Protection"). The surname "Nimwelana" was gifted to me by the more experienced members of the community ("Nimwelana" = "like Sai Nimwe"). I am happy to be called by my nickname, Elfi, and while I adore the etiquette of Aristasia, I also very much enjoy the close-warmth of informality.

I have four main "personas", though they all like to sit at the same table and work towards the same goals these days. Within the parameters of the Aristasian sexes, I identify as Blonde ("Chelani"). In the Aristasian worldsphere, I identified with Novarya and Amazonia simultaneously.

In Telluria (the world which we physically inhabit, a term coined by the Aristasians) I tend to fall into a "shamanic" social class, and don't really identify much with most parts of modernized Tellurian society (though I enjoy technology in limited forms and quantities and consider much of it magical). Give me rural villages, forests, mountains, and rivers, and I'll live with the creatures and spirits of Nature instead.

This Blog: This is mostly a spiritual blog though it is very personal as well. I will post whatever moves my heart and sparks in me a love of the Divine -- and I sometimes see it in things others might consider mundane or silly.

I had my time in life where I enjoyed socio-political discourse but I've since grown weary of it. As I get older my thoughts turn towards harmonious things, gentle things, and I enjoy a quiet life. I'm not interested in discourse or divisive discussions no matter how much I may agree or disagree with any of it. Such things create discord, and I've lived too much and can no longer handle that sort of thing.

Religion/Spiritual Beliefs: I'm an independent Deanist with Christopagan leanings and an open mind and heart, though my desire to refer to the Divine as Feminine is powerful. However I find other belief systems very interesting and I get a lot of joy out of knowing how deeply meaningful other ideologies and ideas are to other people.

I only recently learned of this term but have come to understand that I'm what people would call a "pluriform monotheist": I feel that the Divine manifests itself differently to different groups of people, according to what reaches their hearts best, but that ultimately there is one unifying force behind all of this. I call Her Dea. I'm chiefly informed by the Filianic Scriptures, but I don't like to limit myself to any single hard system of writings. If it makes sense to me and aligns with how I believe people and Life itself were meant to be, then I accept it and I love it.

I believe that all things have already happened on the spiritual plane, the Highest plane, and that time is in fact nature's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once on the mortal plane. Not only has everything already happened, but it is constantly happening, because the Divine Play exists outside the things we understand as Time and Progression. Most things that happen on the physical plane are simply being "born" from activity on the Higher planes, and sometimes they are born many times.

You are not obligated to agree with any of this or even see sense in it. All I ask is that you respect my beliefs and try to respect the beliefs of others. It is not up to us to decide what people should or shouldn't Love. Hail to the Sun in you!

[bookwyrminspiration]

Excuse me hi new anon sorry for all the discourse talk on your blog lately but you can’t seriously think that someone being pro life has more impact on others than someone posting possibly triggering art.

I’ve noticed that they put the proper tags on it now to make it blockable which is definitely good and makes it better

But also someone who is pro life and literally doesn’t even post about it is NOT HURTING ANYONE

that’s literally a thought. A belief. Thoughtcrime is not a thing 1984 is a dystopia btw

Whereas posting something is an action that will inevitably impact others—actually art is SUPPOSED to impact others—be that in a positive, negative, or nuanced neutral sort of way.

So posting art is objectively more impactful on other real life people than holding pro life beliefs and never even rlly posting about them

Again thoughtcrime is not a thing

Honestly my biggest issue with the art initially was that it was put in the main tag with no trigger warnings at all, meaning someone scrolling through the main tag who has things triggering to them blocked would have to see it……..

Anyway yeah the two situations definitely aren’t comparable, but NOT in the way that you seemed to think.

Sorry if this feels kinda confrontational but I’m also pro life, have never once posted about it ever, and am deeply disturbed by the idea that me holding a belief and never saying it ever is somehow considered a heinous crime that impacts others terribly, while posting possibly triggering art without trigger warnings totally impacts nobody

Alright, Nonsie, let's break this down.

I'm well aware thought crime isn't real and wholeheartedly agree

No one has said you're a criminal for being pro-life, nor that it's a crime

The impacts/harm I'm talking about extend beyond just posting/holding a belief

Being pro-life contributes to a community and environment that allows harm and control to be enacted against real and vulnerable people

Being pro-life/pro-choice is a belief centered on real people--what a person's body can be used for, if it's their own, and who gets to decide that. Very closely tied to beliefs on abortion, who gets to make choices about who's bodies, etc. You're right that simply holding a belief is passive, and your thoughts are not crimes.

However, the actions that accompany those beliefs/that are because of those beliefs (not necessarily yours, general population) are impactful. I apologize if I wasn't clear when I said "the people being debated about are real and harmed by it." The "it" is not your belief, but the societal and legal consequences that come from your belief.

Public opinion (such as people being pro-life, and public opinion is decided by numbers) decides who is in office, and who is in office dictates laws and legality, and that determines what's easily and readily available/how people will act.

A pro-life person acts based on that--perhaps votes for mayors/representatives/presidents/etc. who are against abortion. And then those authorities pro-life individuals elected at least in part because of their pro-life beliefs (an election won because of community, numbers, and environment), create a society where abortion is less accessible, where sex education is less thorough, where contraceptive/sexual health is expensive/hard to find, etc. We've seen this consistently across the US

Real people suffer from it and they do not have the simple choice to disengage. We've consistently said block and move on regarding online media--but you can't pick and chose which of your country's laws apply to you. You can chose to ignore them if possible and deal with the risk, but you don't get an opt out button. And moving to different cities/states/countries is not an easy solution.

I am considering all this in my discussions. Belief informs action, and pro-life beliefs have historically and continue to impact real people in harmful ways--and to be used as a foot in the door for further harm, such as anti-trans legislation.

I am not saying you are an awful criminal hurting people by being pro-life in your head--though you may lose friendships if people learn of it. I am saying media should not be restricted, and an untagged post does not change that. And I am saying the harm of seeing an uncomfortable image/fic (and being uncomfortable does not equal being hamred), even if untagged, is not comparable to the real life societal consequences of pro-life beliefs.

You may not be of the age or ability right now to vote or petition or otherwise, and as such the action part does not yet apply to you, but if you continue being pro-life then someday it will.

I'll also say this. I don't think being pro-life is evil. I think it can be well-intentioned, but is misguided and ineffective. Wanting fewer abortions is fine--I'd also love that. Getting an abortion isn't fun, and having to make that choice is excruciating for many. But banning and criminalizing abortions (which is the ideology associated with pro-life) does not achieve that and in fact makes it worse.

And, as with fiction, there is no moderation that can reliably dictate what is best for the individual/family/etc. in every situation. Someone will always be hurt when others are making choices about their lives and bodies for them. Including the children intended to be protected.

That, however, is its own can of worms.

I think you mean well, Nonsie, but may have reacted a bit quickly to what I said--you've argued against multiple points (thought crime, being a criminal) that I did not actually make. I own that there were parts I could've been more clear, but I stand by what I've said, and hopefully you better understand what I meant.

And just in case: like with that other poster, people are going to form opinions and see you in certain ways based on your beliefs. Including if you don't act on it, but just think that way. That's how it works for everyone.

Thanks :)

[velvetvexations]

Can I also just say I deeply appreciate how willing you are to listen and be understanding when something a Velvet Nationer says doesn't necessarily jive with your perception of that thing, so long as we approach it like, you know, with honest intent? I love that you don't compromise your own opinions, but you're not closed off to the idea that things might be perceived differently by others. It makes this feel like a genuinely safe place to come and chat.

I'm really glad! I think listening to other people when they're clearly being honest with you is important. I always say that if even a cishet person came to me about something I said about cishet people hurting their feelings I'll take that seriously - I may not necessarily agree to make changes to my behavior or rhetoric, but I'm not going to pretend like privilege makes you emotionally invincible or that these things always follow a logical structure, so I will empathize with them and see what can be done about the situation even when it's only an apology that we're on separate pages.

Occasionally I can be worried about how things will be received if it's outside the normal discourse I talk about, particularly when I worry I'm being too lenient to a take I disagree with but maybe I should be more aggressive about. And then I still worry about being too aggressive sometimes. But as far as my anxiety in that regard goes you can 🎶 blame it on my N-P-D baby 🎶 lol, I know it's irrational.

On the negative side, this is also why I have a really hard time with TIRFs occasionally.

Recently I had a private interaction with the kinna TERF that just swaps "man and woman" with "AMAB and AFAB", and she was trying very hard to be "nice", saying she really thought the both of us were good people who just didn't agree on the best way forward. And she was like "oh wow, you're an author, I should buy the book and read it" and it was just. Really stressful because I want so badly to believe people are good when given the opportunity. And she followed me and liked a few posts and I blocked her because I hit my limit of what I could handle. I wasn't willing to continue meeting her halfway and tolerating her dangerous beliefs that sex separation would always be necessary because AMAB people would always have biological leverage over AFABs, even if she was capable of presenting herself as a non-freak who didn't just rabidly spit hatred at trans women or want to detransition anyone, at least openly.

She was exceptional, though. Most TIRFs of that variety are, at best, completely fucking bonkers like the one I bring up occasionally who thought non-passing trans women are privileged over cis women - yet even she, as completely wack she was, I found difficult to try and start an argument with because her incredibly warped vision of reality was presented in such ( ◡‿◡ *) tones that it short-circuited my brain and I found it difficult to come down on her like I would have needed to if I engaged.

I think you might be able to blame that case at least partially on my NPD as well, since it's also putting me in the position of like, me having to be the angry aggressive one while she would be like "( ╥ω╥ ) but I'm so nice" and that would fuck with me a lot.

But in general my NPD is useful here, because it makes me always want to be The Best Person, which means the most kind and caring and saint-like person ever, except with bad people, to whom I'm a punishing angel of righteous fury. At the very least it sets that as my goal even when I don't always attain it.

This was a lot of words to say that I just try really hard to be nice and sometimes that's stressful in and of itself lol. But I'm really, really happy people are comfortable with me and my space.

[just-orbiting-you]

discussion of the army status quo, bts as artists, consumerism, streaming vs. critical fan engagement

this ended up being a rant, i just needed to get this out, but be forewarned of the topics listed.

building off the post i put up about the division among jikookers the huge divide in army is still ever present. this fandom is so divided and has just become people screaming at each other, reporting and blocking. there’s no capacity for conversation and constructive discourse. some of these fans are so volatile i’m appalled. at this point i just wonder why these people are fans of bts, because what about their actions, music, and celebrity personas allows them to feel connected to the members. why are these people fans?

because we should be fans of their music first. i see having biases and “shipping” as a side to appreciating and supporting their art as artists. through that, i stand with their messages they have promoted through their art over the course of their career. bts inspire me to become a better thinker, person, and artist. personally right now, i am not expecting them to be their celebrity selves while others may think otherwise, but i will not condemn or stand for the condemnation of their call for hybe and bts’ action.

the emphasis on streaming, the decline of artmy and fandom creation, the infighting and refusal to come together, the accusing of others from a lot of solo rhetoric, i just cannot take it and i’m nervous for the future of bts and their fan relationship.

no fan is perfect - i have seen accounts of proclaimed ot7, shippers, solos, biased ot7, all of which spout rhetoric i can take issue with. i’m not perfect either. and i don’t want to abandon this for lack of a better word “army space” since i do still love and care for the members. but how long can this go on for?

army has an agenda - but only when they want to. we can only come together when the members are in dire straits. why do we wait on bts’ beck and call? why can’t we operate independently and do work on their behalf? why can’t we speak up about social justice, liberation and other issues, when bts are away from their public platforms? why can’t we comprehend being critical of company higherups and attempts to reach the members with education is not direct hate to the members that needs yoongi scandal levels of mobilization? why can’t we actually mobilize to take down anti accounts like we did for yoongi? why can’t we make donations to reputable charities in the name of bts like we used to???

and again, i have spoken about this before, but k-pop and bts’ previous level of output (plus the accelerated output of the solo era) has brainwashed fans into capitalist compliancy. people foam at the mouth if they don’t buy the newest album. people scream at you if you don’t stream. this is exactly what these companies want you to do and exactly how they want you to think. hybe is sitting on a big pile of money right now from all their means of profits, yet we give them that power with our money.

i want to make clear that i understand the historical significance of streaming in regard to boosting bts’ popularity and creating a reputation of loyalty and monetary support for their fans, when they were the underdog group. but,

over the years, i think the ways in which bts want us to support them is reading their lyrics, understanding their messaging, seeing their hard work and artistic processes and showing up for them when necessary. of course they’re thankful when we support them monetarily, but did namjoon make RPWP so it could be streamed to death? no. did jimin make FACE so it could hit BB hot100? no. did yoongi make amygdala and polar night so they could get #1 digital song sales? NO. those are some of his most deeply personal songs. they made those albums out of their lived experiences, processing their most vulnerable times. this is their art. and as time has gone on, i miss the appreciation and praise for their artistry. they deserve that regard for their work. you can say that charting them is the ultimate way to show your support, but i disagree. streaming just lines hybe’s pockets. engaging in critical conversation with other fans and supporting projects like minimoni music and suchwita and listening to their words closely promote healthy fan engagement. mindless streaming of their work is not engaging. mindless streaming of the last, amygdala is something that should not be expected of people, these song are difficult to listen to!!!! if it isn’t for for people, then they need to reread the lyrics. outside of a hybe monetary boycott, i do believe streaming and analysis in tandem is not a bad thing. but we need that deliberate fan engagement. we are nothing without it.

especially the infighting and refusal of common ground, plus demonization of fandom creation overtime is truly toxic fan engagement distracting us and souring the environment overall.

i think solo era has brought on a lot of these issues as everyone was sorted into their own factions based on bias and a lot of ot7s showed their true colors. but i worry for what bts’ reaction will be when they witness the wreckage of this fandom. and even calling on hybe to do something about weverse army and weverse as a platform has not been resolved. maybe i personally just need time away, who knows.

[garfeildfanpage]

To kind of add onto the Aoiaoi post from earlier I just wanted to include a few things I didn’t mention cause discourse

Akane didn’t strangle Aoi, but he still pushed her over, and proceeded to grab her by the neck and forced her upwards, hence the coughing. That’s still bad, actually!

Tbhktwt is having a moment right now, and I feel like a lot of people are either overblowing / diluting the conflict in the chapter. Akane is being forceful, both physically and not, and that’s not good! It’s obvious to say that in no other situation would Aoi have confronted her issues, but that doesn’t take away from the invasive act of it. He isn’t just forcing her to confront her feelings, he’s distressing her on purpose to prove his point, no matter his intentions he’s still doing something wrong. They’re both incredibly messed up individuals, and Aoi has a lot of blood on her hands as well.

Aoi intended on killing herself, and when Akane got in her way, she took him with her.

I’ve reread Akane & Aoi multiple times and still sit on the conclusion that their confrontation solved nothing. Akane is upset at Aoi for lying to people, but he doesn’t once try to rationalize why she’s doing so. Instead, he puts all the blame on her. He claims to understand her so deeply yet not once does he show her an ounce of grace. All he does is make her problems a “what about me?”, he doesn’t ask her anything, it’s all just what he thinks. “Why do you act like this?” Would’ve been a lot better than just getting in her face to yell, I think. Aoi has reasons for the way she acts, not excuses, but she tells him why she thinks that way and he still doesn’t get it. He repeatedly dismisses her distress, and gets in her space when she doesn’t want him to. She isn’t flustered, she’s uncomfortable. Which should be obvious considering the difference between the expressions she makes when she is! This chapter, and I really can’t stress this enough, is the farthest thing from romantic, and absolutely eons away from being even remotely healthy. This chapter is a hard and uncomfortable read, because of how deeply gross it is.

Aoiaoi is an incredibly complex relationship that shows two people in a toxic codependency, and Akane & Aoi is the absolute breaking point. They’re both fucked up in ways that only being apart can fix, and when forcing them to “confront” their issues, it’s just going to get messy. The objective view of them as peers is muddled when you focus on the imbalance between the two. Aoi has dealt with constant harassment from childhood, and as shown in the chapter, and has assumedly been mostly sexual harassment. And for Akane show such a clear disregard of her comfort is gross in basically every way. That is the rock bottom of Aoiaoi, and I am so tired of people justifying what happens just because they like them.

And I can repeat this a thousand times, every relationship in tbhk is flawed. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore the bad behavior in them, and using it as an excuse is exhausted and weird. You can like Aoiaoi all you want, but that doesn’t mean you should justify the bad shit! Every relationship is flawed, but that doesn’t mean they’re all flawed the same. Not everything is toxic yaoi, some things are just toxic, and acknowledging that is really important. Don’t justify abuse or mistreatment! I think!

I could restate the whole end-part of the original Aoiaoi post but I don’t feel like it. Uhmmmm I don’t hate Aoiaoi I just personally think they should be treated by the fandom at large with more tact and care. They’re volatile and in a lot of cases I see people just, ignore the toxicity, in favor of a cute ship and that’s not great. Understanding flaws within characters is important, don’t be dense, don’t be misogynistic! Cause Aoi hate is usually that! Akane hate isn’t though as much as I love him he has his,,,low points (this entire post) and deserves getting thrown through multiple stained glass windows

Uh ninja out bye

[solitaire-sol]

Prongsfoot Week 2023 - Day 1

This... maybe got away from me a bit, but I'll take any chance to present my Prongsfoot ramblings in a semi-organized fashion!

When and Why did you begin to Ship Prongsfoot? What makes you Ship it? Basically, just gush on this ship.

Somewhat ironically, developing a NOTP led me to this OTP: Back when the books were still coming out, I was a Harmony shipper. (Not a crazy one, I swear!) This led to a lot of "discussions" with people who shipped other pairings, but most relevantly with several Sirius/Remus fans who were both extremely disdainful of my noncanon ship and adamant that their ship was, in fact, canon/eventual canon. This led to little Past Me re-reading the PoA and post-PoA books multiple times, trying and failing to see this "proof" of Wolfstar, but in the process paying a lot more attention to pre-Golden Trio characters. "Actually," I thought, "Sirius seems a lot more attached to Harry's dad than to Lupin. Huh." I found myself fascinated by their dynamic, by the hold Sirius' friendship with (and loss of) James had on Sirius, and how much is implied about James that we don't get to see (the Potter lineage, James "maturing," etc). Imagine my disappointment when not only was Sirius/James not popular, but Wolfstar, which didn't appeal to me, was only gaining steam (see: "Wolfstar is canon/eventual canon!"). Shipping wars were more 'maniacal sports fans' than 'political discourse' at the time, but between being deep into then-fandom and not liking Wolfstar, I found myself shipping Sirius/James almost by accident because… Well, it just made so much more sense.

Yes, James is dead before the series actually starts; yes, James marries a woman and has a son; but I've yet to meet a fandom that lets such paltry things as 'canonical facts' stop a ship, and it's always baffled me that Prongsfoot isn't more widely recognized for its potential, if nothing else. I will always believe this stems from a one-two punch of early HP fandom's obsession with canon vs noncanon, Jily being canon, which led to Wolfstar and the subsequent idea that Sirius "belongs" to Remus With the series completed, we have a surprisingly complex character in James, tantalizingly hinted-at if not explored in-depth, and we're given ample on-page examples of Sirius' exceptional qualities as well as his deep attachment to James, who must be exceptional himself to command this kind of devotion and affection. They're the most interesting characters to me, for what we see and what we don't see, and unlike a lot of other pairings they don't require a hammer and chisel to force them into a romantic mold: They're best friends and platonic soulmates, but they could just as easily be romantic partners and the shift feels completely natural. There's an equality and an authenticity to their partnership that I cherish deeply and don't find in a lot of their other ships, which often require them to be OOC… and if a fic doesn't include them as each other's best friend and Most Important Person, I consider it OOC.

In a way, lack of good James/Sirius friendship nudged me towards actual Prongsfoot because other ships de-emphasize the importance of James and Sirius in each others' lives to make the ship work, including outright giving their roles away, ex. someone else being the only person who can rein James in, Sirius running away to [name here] instead of to James. James and Sirius make each other more themselves, for better and for worse, and I honestly believe that they believe it's always for the better: They embrace each other's strengths and weaknesses, love each other for their flaws instead of despite them, support each other even after death (if the memory of James wasn't instrumental in Sirius surviving Azkaban, I'll eat my nonexistent hat). Sirius has so much devotion to James, enough to eat rats and face death for James' son, his godson, who he had a year of knowing before it all went to hell, that I find it hard to believe he had much room for anyone else; and from what we see, that devotion was absolutely reciprocated. Even after marrying Lily, even after Harry, JamesandSirius were such a thing that James' own wife writes to Sirius to say my husband is down and only you can make him feel better, not his wife or child or other friends. They would have buried bodies for each other, and I'd be surprised if that didn't actually happen off-page. What we see of their past makes it clear that they existed together in some rarefied space that would have absolutely continued regardless of who they dated or who they married or where they wound up. I'll always be a little sad that we didn't get more of these two in canon, and I'll always be equal parts frustrated and bewildered that these two are not the Marauder ship, or at least a much much more popular ship than they are.

Over time, the popular depictions of James and Sirius grew increasingly incompatible with the way I saw them, which is generally closer to canon: James is not an idiot jock or an indiscriminate bully (he's very discriminate, thank you) or an abuser, Sirius is not an idiot sex addict or peer-pressured by James into bullying (he's absolutely an active bully of Snape & Co) or there solely to fawn over Remus. This is also where I started to dislike Remus, sorry Remus fans, neither uwu softboi Remus and uberdom alpha Remus are my jam I eventually fell out of fandom in general and didn't think more than the occasional wistful thought until I re-read the books and had that Prongsfoot flame reignited, enough that I started to read HP fic and even write/post stuff again. I'm endlessly grateful for the authors who put such wonderful work out there, and for people who cultivate this little pocket of a fandom that's otherwise become alien to me, as someone who just doesn't get much of New Marauder Fandom and its ATYD influences.

James and Sirius are soulmates and friends-to-lovers and fluff and angst and boyish exuberance and the uncertainty of growing up, they're knowing you're meant to spend your lives together and struggling to exist when your other half is gone, they're sweet domesticity and the darkness of war and Good vs Evil and all the shades of gray, they're loving someone relentlessly and instinctively and maybe unwisely but knowing it's 100% reciprocated, no-strings-attached, because you can't be any other way and wouldn't change that (or them) if you could. There's just so many ways to explore Prongsfoot and all of it works because these boys contain multitudes, and I just want to gather all of it around me like a nesting squirrel and snuggle down amidst the Prongsfoot goodness.

[roboticchibitan]

There's a short Buddhist sutra called "Discourse on the 5 ways of putting an end to anger" (translated as anger by Thich Nhat Hanh but by other translators as hatred) that, if I had run into it when I was idk 18 or 22, would've just made me angry, but I ran into it at just the right time that it really struck me and changed the way I see the world. I'm not going to post the whole thing, but here's a link to it.

The part that really changed my outlook was method 4, which I have copied and pasted and bolded the part that struck me so much.

"This is the 4th method, my friends. If there is someone whose words and bodily actions are not kind, and in whose heart there is nothing that can be called kindness, if you are angry with that person and you are wise, you will know how to meditate in order to put an end to your anger.

“My friends, suppose there is someone on a long journey who falls sick. He is alone, completely exhausted, and not near any village. He falls into despair, knowing that he will die before completing his journey. If at that point, someone comes along and sees this man’s situation, they immediately take the man’s hand and lead him to the next village, where they take care of him, treat his illness, and make sure he has everything he needs by way of clothes, medicine, and food. Because of this compassion and loving kindness, the man’s life is saved.

"Just so, my friends, when you see someone whose words and bodily actions are not kind, and in whose heart there is nothing that can be called kindness, give rise to this thought: ‘Someone whose words and bodily actions are not kind and in whose heart is nothing that can be called kindness, is someone who is undergoing great suffering. Unless they meet a good spiritual friend, there will be no chance for them to transform and go to realms of happiness.’ Thinking like this, you will be able to open your heart with love and compassion toward that person. You will be able to put an end to your anger and help that person. Someone who is wise should practice like this."

Reflections under the cut

It struck me at the time that, yeah, people aren't like that because they're happy! I'd been struggling really hard with anger towards my abusive father. I still am struggling with that, for that matter. But it was the first time I really thought about how, while it's not an excuse, that miserable bastard is, in fact, miserable. He had an awful childhood and while he's had every chance since then to better himself, the fact of the matter is that he's Like That because he has suffered deeply and continues to suffer.

Doesn't make how he treated us okay. But I'm growing my compassion towards him because I don't want to be filled with anger. When I'm filled with anger, there's no room for happiness and joy. Sometimes it feels good to feel angry because it makes us feel powerful in the face of things that make us feel weak. But for me personally, I'd rather have peace than feel powerful. So I am trying to train myself to be more compassionate, because there's a lot more room for joy in a compassionate heart.

I'm no saint, though. I'm still angry. But it helps to think from this point of view. Sometimes when I think about my dad I am filled with disgust. But sometimes I'm just kinda like, "what a sad man. What a sad life." And I feel much more at peace when I think of him as sad, rather than disgusting.

Other people can be as angry as they want; that's none of my business. If you need anger to get you through what you're going through, that's your business. But I used to be so completely filled with anger towards the world and everybody in it and I was not only miserable, I was also miserable to be around. Since I've started deliberately growing my compassion, choosing compassion on purpose, even when I'd really rather not, I've been much happier