#but it’s just hard not to feel resentment sometimes
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arach-tinilith · 2 days ago
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I write about naadja being poly and her relationships in that but like, not so much anyone else because Naadja is obviously the lens through which i view my mindmap of the fanon.
Yes i ship character x character. I ship my other ocs with different characters as well. Its moreso a passing thought that i have cataloged in my mind. The tadpolycule is expansive and complex so i don't even bother to explain it entirely. In my mind its pretty organic, the characters have preferences and dislikes about other characters.
I just kinda roll with it though. I don't want it to seem like Naadja is the only person benefitting from that lol i just only have so much to say on it
I do also fully believe her messy complicated relationships suit her character and a lot of the canon lines about those sorts of apprehensions (like Minthara’s line about not sharing or Astarion's feelings on tav sleeping with someone else) would either not come up at all or would be worded very differently based on her story.
Id love to get into what that'd actually be like but it's a hard thing to explain. Which also seems like a cop out bc well, yeah im not super interested in fine tuning relationships so things fit nice and easy. Sometimes it doesn't, sometimes there's still resentment, and thats something to grapple with. But i don't necessarily have to when im just having fun.
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the-tired-meatbag · 6 months ago
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my toxic trait is how little sympathy i have towards able-bodied people when they get hurt
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angelnumber27 · 6 months ago
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I dont think some people understand how truly awful and hellish withdrawals from some psych medications are.
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soupmanspeaks · 9 months ago
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you ever wonder if the Glamrocks's face tracking acts up when they look at Glamrock-Freddy, like they'll look at his face, and the recognition will register as Freddy, but their systems for whatever reason or another think that there is a face overlapped on Freddy's do you think they see two small squares next to him, at his side, roughly child sized, but no one is physically there.... right...?
#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddy’s#glammike#crying child#elizabeth afton#i wanted to allude something to william but idk#would the glamrocks go into the sinkhole? maybe#maybe next to glamrock freddy alongside the weird overlapping face he has and the two kid height faces#there is a face tracking box next to him...standing#remember that post about the ghost hunters comin to the pizza plex? maybe the weird face tracking happens too...#im watching garret watts and Andrew's constant facial tracking anomalies inspired this post lol#anyways i really like the thought that despite being the most friendly Glamrock; Freddy has this......feeling about him#his AI was made just this year! programmed with cutting edge and top of the line technology!#then....then why does he go off script sometimes? why does he say things that wasn't programmed show dialogue?#how does he know about Mr. Afton? the killer from the 80's who committed heinous deeds?#Why does he speak as if he knew him personally? if his AI is just pulling stuff from online; Why does he speak with resentment about him?#IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT!!#like just because this franchise has gotten more neon and sugery than ever; remember; lights can be blinding and sugar causes cavities#idk what that means just omg there is more horror potential than you think in the SB era of games if you look hard enough#off topic but back to freddy being a sweetie pie i think that its funny okay#freddy sasses adults okay okay but he isnt mean to kids okay maybe michael just idk; MATURED? maybe he just got some whimsy mkay?#listen if i was forced to be in a perpetual cycle of atoning for my own and my father's sins i would find any and all silver linings mkay#aw yeah this is sick i get to be a freddy mercury inspired glamrock bear WOOO#granted michael was probably tired of animatronic bands and pizza by fnaf 6 but ykkkkkkkk it.....could be worse? he could be his dad lmao#anyways headcannon michael listend to freddy mercury and this is the equivalent of cosplaying him scott told me so (trust)#tag rambles! theyre fun lol
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 8 months ago
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some days the "fire off missiles because you hate yourself but do you know you're demolishing me" and "let all your damage damage me" and "I gave you all my best mes, my endless empathy" and "in the shade of how he was living" and "how much sad did you think I had in me?" just really fucking hit 😵‍💫🥴
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ryderdire · 4 months ago
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Thinking about the relationship between my character and a character who hasn’t even been Introduced yet and won’t be for a long ass time/possibly ever they just make me mentally Ill
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sodaspringz · 2 months ago
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sometimes i really want to forget that dsmp existed
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terrorbirb · 3 months ago
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This definition of OCPD describes me in a way nothing else does: Those with conscientious compulsivity view themselves as helpful, co-operative, and compromising. They downplay their achievements and abilities and base their confidence on the opinions and expectations of others; this compensates for their feelings of insecurity and instability. They assume that devotion to work and striving for perfection will lead to them receiving love and reassurance. They believe that making a mistake or not achieving perfection will lead to abandonment and criticism. This mindset causes perpetual feelings of anxiety and an inability to appreciate their work
Not diagnosed with this but it's so much closer to what I feel than OCD, so.... probably this one instead
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revvnant · 1 year ago
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stewing over how mike wants william to hug him so bad but never asks because why would you, as a man, hug another man ( yes even your family ) and also because he keeps a tally of every time william said no and holds it against him and has made it such a huge thing in his own mind that if william did hug him he'd flinch and what i'm really getting at here is that michael can get to a point where he's so entrenched in a build up of small slights between big fights that he shoots himself in the foot and denies himself comfort, creating a cycle where he constantly craves william's affection but also refuses it every time it is offered, which makes william upset, which makes him offer it less, which convinces mike that his father doesn't love him, which makes him withdraw and refuse affection, which
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roseville · 6 months ago
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thought dump
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snowyfrostshadows · 2 years ago
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It's all fun and games until it isn't
#dumb doodles#master m au#1) i think it'd be neat if he tagged along with the other minions sometimes not to help but to follow around the hero(s) to make them laugh#the princess and the green guy are doing this hero thing all WRONG#they should be happy and smile because that's what heros are supposed to DO#the turtle gets it; he seems thrilled as heck during all this#plus....there's just something extra annoying about greenie not enjoying being the main hero and being so /miserable/ looking....#2) ....does. anyone else think mario might... subconsciously internalize his image as a hero?#like; don't get me wrong; he loves helping others and is by default; a happy lil guy#but...it probably is a lot of pressure to be that constant rock and source of comfort#he's probably mostly okay with it and it probably doesn't cross his mind to be resentful or bitter about always being the hero#there's just this small small; easily ignorable part of him that's tired of it#that the mister m persona brings to the forfont in a kinda ugly way if you crack that mask hard enough#in other words; if he drops the smile; then i think his more bitter thoughts and feelings he hides both as mario and master m#are a bit more...obvious if that makes sense#ANYWAYS THOSE BOYS ARE GONNA NEED SOME THERAPY AFTER THIS#3) i. honestly forgot if the mimi fight was before or after the first mr. l one lmao#i just wanted to do some silly puns before the sucker punch#anyways; it's an au; luigi probably isn't collecting hearts in the proper order chaotic lil man he is#super mario#mario#luigi
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dandyshucks · 7 months ago
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me feeling bad about being unaligned with binary gender and then i think about how Guz would just Get It right off the bat because honestly idk how it's such a hard concept for ppl to grasp 😭 and it makes me feel a little better fdsfjkl
#i feel bad sometimes like oohh ur such a special snowflake for not being feminine OR masculine oooh u wanna be special so bad#no you Made-Up-Person-in-my-Brain. no i dont want to be special actually fdsjkl#i really wish this was just normal. i so badly want to just be normal#honestly i start thinking ''maybe i should just be okay with being considered feminine or masculine. i should just pick one i guess''#but no !! neither fit right !! both make me uncomfortable !!#i do understand the concepts of both but i exist outside of them somehow! and idk why thats so difficult for ppl to grasp!#it is just a little lonely seeing posts talking about ''feminine ppl or masculine ppl'' like. okay i dont fit either of those. damn.#and it feels alienating bc i guess ppl dont know unaligned folk exist! transneutral is such a rare label to see talked about!#''this is nonbinary inclusive bc im saying masculine and feminine :)'' WHAT IS SO HARD TO GRASP ABOUT NON-BINARY. ITS RIGHT IN THE NAME!#why are u re-inventing the gender binary !!!!!! u just changed the words ur using for binary gender WHAT 😭😭😭#i think maybe i resent that i have to force myself into one category or the other for other ppls comfort tbh fdsjkl like. can i just exist.#but i do think Guz would genuinely just understand it immediately. not just because i Want him to LOL.#he'd be like ''ohhh theres a word for that? hell yeah that rules. i'll have to see if a few of the grunts heard about this shit yet''#bc im sure there'd be a wide range of queer kids on the team LOL#if u get a bunch of misfits together ur going to have like... a LOT of queer ppl in the group FDSJFKL#dandy.cmd#vent //#💜so good at being in trouble
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ekanatsume · 7 months ago
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love doesn’t have to be romantic. It’s strangers holding the door open for you. Friends laughing with you. The sun shining it’s warmth for you to bask in. The random bird or squirrel on your walk that doesn’t bolt when you pass it. There’s love everywhere, in infinitely many different forms
I actually wasn't talking about romantic love. The way you phrased it is beautiful. I think I'm too bitter to comprehend this rn. But I'll think about this the next time any act of consideration happens to me. Thank you for going out of your way to write this. I hope you have a wonderful week 💞
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ardentpoop · 10 months ago
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sick 2 my stomach for a plethora of reasons friday
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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beaver gnawing on wood noises
#purrs#delete later#this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or#idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who#like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different.#and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the#knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know#there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find#magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o#one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me#the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all#these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live#with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it.#and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other.#and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so#hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they#are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who#im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all#appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a#symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will#never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want#love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3#like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling#and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and#bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.
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spiderwarden · 1 year ago
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If there is ever doubt in her own skill, Minthara remembers that her mother wears scars from her own blade. Then all doubts melt away.
#[ 🕷️ ] —— musings#[ I’m playing the game don’t mind my musing ]#[ god I love House Baenre and what’s revealed through minth ]#[ Yvonnel ensures all of her children are just about more skilled than she so they will face the world dauntless ]#[ and I imagine that’s where Minthara gets her emotional approach from ]#[ which is a post I’ll make sometime but I get feelings over Yvonnel ]#[ and also the fact that Minthara in looks is a mini-copy/paste Yvonnel ]#[ a child who was loved and taught by her sisters and brothers ]#[ even to torture - her sister was the house interrogator and that’s where she learned it from ]#[ that’s the hard part because as much as Minth was also a victim of Drow culture she flourished and adored her own culture ]#[ she can see its faults but there is love lost there because she does LOVE her family ]#[ she will poison them and stab them on a moments notice but she will keep their memory close to her ]#[ the sister who taught her how to torture - the sister who taught her how to control her temper ]#[ the sister who taught her the magic behind her name sake ]#[ which if you didn’t know Minthara means ‘lesser rune’ in Drow ]#[ the sister who she thought hated her but she would throw treats at little minth and they weren’t poisoned ]#[ the brother who taught her swordplay and the brother who taught her how to watch and the third ]#[ in all of her resentment toward him? that third brother? would have taught her how to be open minded ]#[ the members of House Baenre walked so their little Minthara could run ]
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