#but it won't be made active before I am done on this one

[pluralpaganidiocy]

Was reading some posts about HDG, written by someone outside the community.

What absolutely struck me is the lack of understanding about how the setting works.

First and foremost, I don't care what anyone says, it's a disability narrative. All the kink, and layers of horror and imperialism is in service to the disability narrative.

Because when your body or mind do not function like you expect them to, it's fucking horrific.

It's goddamn terrifying when my legs give out climbing the stairs, it's horrifying when I lose my ability to speak when I get overwhelmed and my stutter comes out full force, when I can't move because the pain from my knee is so intense I lose vision.

Quite often when I am like that I don't want help, I don't want anyone near me, I will actively refuse assistance. This is because of pride, fear, shame, a multitude of reasons. I don't want care, but I need it nonetheless.

One of the most powerful and meaningful things my current partner has ever done for me was telling me to shut the fuck up and let her help.

I needed to be forced to let her help me, despite being in so much pain moving made me scream.

She still needs to make me take painkillers, because I won't on my own.

This kind of care is an intrinsic part of HDG, you are so hurt you can't figure out what you need, so we will do it for you, and we will make you if needed.

Additionally, at least for me, another aspect is knowing that the people you care about are being cared for too.

A huge chunk of my life and daily stress is making sure my friends and lovers are okay, making sure I have enough reserve cash if I need to support or be able to make an emergency trip, anything at all to prevent another fucking lost friend and tearful memorial before their names get added to my sad list of loss.

I *know* I am deeply traumatized by loss, by closed casket funerals, of self inflicted wounds. Because I wasn't there, or fast enough, or didn't notice the signs in time.

I have as a result made myself into the kind of person that will drop Anything to be there. To drive across the country at a moment's notice because there was a Possibility that my friend needed me.

In the world of HDG, that isn't needed, everyone is going to be cared for and safe, and I would be able to finally rest. To relax. To enjoy the beauty of my friends instead of standing watch.

And that is a disability narrative too.

[missingininaction]

alright, friends, i might say something you don't like but i think it's important. not just to defend a character, but because i think this is literally making people's experience and relationship with this game worse.

give jimmy like two seconds to exist.

by hating jimmy so much you refuse to even say his name, and judge real, living people for liking him, you are cheapening your experience by boiling down the main character to the most ~yuckiest~ moments. and, by not making a seperate space for hating on him, you are drowning out the voices of people who actually have nuanced things to say about his character. you know, the skilled writers and artists that feed the fandom? limitation is what kills fandoms, you have to know that.

is jimmy a good person? no. is he a good captain/companion/worker? Absolutely Not! he crumbles like dust under any pressure and he immediately shifts blame off of himself, he is an actively harmful individual and it's right to be upset by his actions. i literally had to stop myself from saying "man FUCK jimmy." multiple times because i didn't want to spoil how terrible he got to my friends when i showed the game to them.

but you have to understand; people are more than their actions. thats part of the entire point of the game. thats why its so abstract. you are meant to think about the nuances of their situation.

we can agree that anya was way more as a woman than what happened to her and what she did as a result of it, right? that despite her best efforts, she was a victim of circumstance, and she deserves to be understood and analyzed fully?

then why, seeing a fictional man who has done immoral things, are you so disgusted you won't even draw, write or discuss him outside of hate? what is that doing for you, to ignore literally the main character of the game because of his actions?

now, this is not to say people can't hate jimmy. i understand it! as someone who has been a victim of s/a and abuse, i understand if you hate him and are even triggered by him to the point of avoiding mention of him. (but...why are you in this fandom? ((not aggressive im genuinely asking)))

you can feel however you want about any character, my goal is not to control people. but i thought it was common knowledge to not hatepost about someone in their tag? over actual insight into his character and, you know, the main themes of the game?

jimmy is a man who has struggled his whole life. both him and curly confirm that in the game. he's unable to control his emotional outbursts, and he likely had no idea what to expect from being in fucking SPACE for over a year with people he probably didn't even know before that trip. and pony express and their corporate safety corner cutting certainly didnt help, did it?

for one reason or another, he most likely was never actually taught how to manage his emotions. that's just how it is sometimes, growing up as a man. and it would make sense if he was forced to deal with everything himself, no? he always complains, but he still says he'll handle it. because that's what he's always had to do. and this is just the start of what i could say about what made him the way that he is.

he's a victim too, not only of his own actions.

surprise surprise, people who do awful things can also be victims.

honestly, this entire situation baffles me. how are you going to avoid one of the main characters of the game, let alone the one you play as ninety percent of the time? mind you, curly is also guilty, and i am happy to see at least some people giving him space for nuance. because he is also a victim!!! why is it so impossible to see jimmy as nuanced, when literally every other character also has incredible depth to them??

you're tarnishing and spitting on the beautiful writing of this game just because one character is too icky for you to feel comfortable thinking about for too long. it's horror, you absolute morons. it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.

if you hate jimmy, i dont blame you. but please, please, make your own space for it. be kind to people who want to explore jimmy and the darker themes, and like him for what his character represents. this is a video game fandom, not a witch hunt. and please, learn some fandom etiquette while you're at it, okay? okay. thank you

also just say his name. its not a slur youre not gonna go to hell if you say jimmy. like this isn't as important but still it just feels like a microcosm of this whole thing.

[izayoichan]

The future of this blog, kinda part two? (sorry for the wall of text.. again!) It's been a lot of trying to find the love for sims again for me, trying to find the fun. But I have come to the conclusion, that right now, it just is not. I have not uppdated, opened, touched the for anything but taking a couple of screenshots because I comissioned poses so I wanted to use them, or I just felt (stupidly I guess) that I had to so this blog had sims content. That is what this blog is to me, its linked with sims, the story I started creating with them, and friends that also love sims. But like mentioned, for me the fun of sims is gone. (Thank you EA, for constantly making sims worse and worse and boring to the point where it's for me just not worth spending energy on). So I will from tomorrow let what I have left of the story that's already written post twice a day until it's done. I will at the same time share all the last sims screenshots I have lying around that I have kept to myself because spoilers and me having the need to be a little secrety, and when that is all posted and ended, I will make a post with a new blog, a new start for me to find my fun again. I don't want to delete what is here, because I am actually proud of it, that I managed to share and write a story for the first time. So instead I am making a new blog, where I will post random screenshots, random things I find, reblog more stuff that I find pretty and so on. I am working on going back to streaming for fun as well, but that will take time and some effort as I want certain things, and I want to do them right and properly. (Live 2d avatars are not easy, cheap or fast to have done!) So the progress on that might be on my new blog as well, and maybe when time comes, I will have clips of sillness and me grumbling and cursing the game while I once more fail miserably at Elden Ring. Yes, I will still follow a lot of the same people, because although my relationship with sims is (for now) at an end, I still love your stories, and your little pixel figures. I am not breaking away from that, I am breaking away from my own stuff. Do I feel like I let people down, a little, but I know that's just how my brain works and that this is doing what is best for me outweighs that worry. (specially after talking to some people about it for some input, and them saying I should do what it best for me. See I am listening!) A little health update at the end, for those interrested: I am slowly doing better, new doctor and new scans have brought more understanding, more peace of mind, and I am back on most of my pain meds, which means my body is slowly stabalizing into a new place. Not quite as good as I was before "hell year" started, but also not as bad as I have been. I'll take every step in the right direction with a big smile on my face.

So for now, enjoy the sims content that will come. And when the time comes, perhaps I will be seeing a lot of you on the new page as well!

[snake-shifter]

If I can add my two cents as an it/its user rq,

Thing that gets me about people being uncomfortable with using it/its pronouns is that the excuse is always prettied up to look like care.

"I can't use it/its pronouns, that's dehumanizing!"

Two things, number one, a lot of the time that's the point! There are people like me who, for one reason or another, feel a disconnect from their humanity and use it/its pronouns to cope with that. I use it instead of they for this exact reason, I'm not that comfortable with gendered pronouns, but using they makes me feel too human, so it always felt like the best choice.

Number two, why not? You already use those pronouns for other objects and other living creatures

(which, I know we just touched on the dehumanization aspect, but I can't be the only that thinks it's dumb that a person will use it for most if not all creatures except for some based on their intelligence right?)

Why can't you use them for me? If it's because you're genuinely uncomfortable, then I'm sorry, but it's not my responsibility to hold your hand and walk you through changing your mindset. That is your responsibility and if I have to subject myself to being around someone that refuses to see a different perspective, because it's different from other (more sanitized) queer people, then I have no obligation to stick around.

Why should your comfort as an ally be put over the comfort of my identity, when I am the only taking a risk in telling you something very personal to me?

TLDR: If you refuse to use it/its because you're worried that it could be dehumanizing, then you are missing the point, and you should reexamine your mindset around it/its pronouns to see if you're actually worried for us, or you just don't want to think critically about the spectrum of gender identity.

I think bringing up "it/its" pronouns is a good test for people who claim to be "trans allies" because it so easily weeds out the people who are only doing it superficially. I've seen so many people who will post "Punch your local TERF #transrightsarehumanrights" and then turn around and be like "If someone says they go by 'it/its' pronouns it's actually good to misgender them because they're just teenager trenders"

[river-taxbird]

Have YOU got an old Windows PC Microsoft has told you can't run Windows 11? It's time to give it a new life!

How to install Windows 11 on unsupported PC Hardware using Rufus. You can also disable some other Windows 11 bullshit like data harvesting and needing a Microsoft account.

It has been in the news a lot lately that Windows 11 isn't allowed to be installed on PCs without certain requirements, including the TPM 2.0, a chip that was only included in PCs made in 2018 or later. This means that once Windows 10 stops receiving security updates, those PCs will not be able to (officially) run a safe, updated version of Windows anymore. This has led to an estimated 240 million PCs bound for the landfill. Thanks Microsoft! I get you don't want to be seen as the insecure one, but creating this much waste can't be the solution.

(I know nerds, Linux is a thing. I love you but we are not having that conversation. If you want to use Linux on an old PC you are already doing it and you don't need to tell me about it. People need Windows for all sorts of reasons that Linux won't cut.)

So lately I have been helping some under privileged teens get set up with PCs. Their school was giving away their old lab computers, and these kids would usually have no chance to afford even a basic computer. They had their hard drives pulled so I have been setting them up with SSDs, but the question was, what to do about the operating system? So I looked into it and I found out there IS actually a way to bypass Microsoft's system requirement and put Windows 11 on PCs as old as 2010.

You will need: Rufus: An open source ISO burning tool.

A Windows 11 ISO: Available from Microsoft.

A USB Flash Drive, at least 16GB.

A working PC to make the ISO, and a PC from 2018 or older you want to install Windows 11 on.

Here is the guide I used, but I will put it in my own words as well.

Download your Windows 11 ISO, and plug in your USB drive. It will be erased, so don't have anything valuable on it. Run Rufus, select your USB drive in the Device window, and select your Windows 11 ISO with the Select button. (There is supposed to be a feature in Rufus to download your ISO but I couldn't get it to work.?

Choose standard windows installation, and follow the screenshot for your settings. Once you are done that, press Start, and then the magic happens. Another window pops up allowing you to remove the system requirements, the need for a microsoft account, and turn off data collecting. Just click the options you want, and press ok to write your iso to a drive.

From there you just need to use the USB drive to install windows. I won't go into details here, but here are some resources if you don't know how to do it.

Boot your PC from a USB Drive

Install Windows 11 from USB Drive

If you had a licensed copy of Windows 10, Windows 11 will already be licensed. If you don't, then perhaps you can use some kind of... Activation Scripts for Microsoft software, that will allow you to activate them. Of course I cannot link such tools here. So there you go, now you can save a PC made from before 2018 from the landfill, and maybe give it to a deserving teen in the process. The more we can extend the lives of technology and keep it out of the trash, the better.

Additional note: This removes the requirement for having 4GB Minimum of RAM, but I think that requirement should honestly be higher. Windows 11 will be unusable slow on any system with below 8GB of RAM. 8GB is the minimum I think you should have before trying this but it still really not enough for modern use outside of light web and office work. I wouldn't recommend trying this on anything with 4GB or less. I am honestly shocked they are still selling brand new Windows 11 PCs with 4GB of ram. If you're not sure how much RAM you have, you can find out in the performance tab of Task Manager in Windows, if you click the More Details icon on the bottom right. If you don't have enough, RAM for old systems is super cheap and widely available so it would definitely be worth upgrading if you have a ram starved machine you'd like to give a new life.

[kichiyosh1]

"I made it with you in mind"

wanderer x reader

to think he'd end up finding joy in such a childish activity

✧: he ends up being mean at the beginning but he apologizes in his own special way, slight hurt/comfort but nothing major

(I'm back ig? idk :3)

He couldn't believe the absurdity to which you and the young archon were subjecting him to.

The sins committed by the former harbinger are things he won't refute or deny. Indeed such actions musn't go unpunished, but perhaps he's underestimated the extent of the dendro archon's mercy.

Mind explaining what all of this is supposed to be?" he knows, with just a single glance, he grasped what was about to unfold, he just couldn't believe it. There displayed before his very eyes, a colorful assortment of beads lay scattered across a wooden table.

"You've dabbled in arts and crafts before, haven't you? You could say I proposed the idea to Lord kusanali as a way to keep that evil little brain of yours occupied"

'What evil is there to be done in bracelet crafting of all things, huh?' he deadpanned while simultaneously picking up a bead, examining how it reflects the light that's passing through the crystalline windows.

He let out a scoff.

"Have you forgotten who I am? A being of celestial creation, lessened to do recreational activities such as these? how amusing." Pathetic was the word he was looking for. Seriously, do you really expect him to just sit down quietly and start passing beads on a string without complaint to how this is a hit on his pride? It'd be more fitting if you locked him up for all of eternity, but this, this was just mockery.

It was the warmth of your hand that snapped him out of his thoughts. Eyes widened before squinting, but he dared not move, curious to what it was you were doing. You had started to fasten a piece of string to his wrist, gentle with your touch, measuring it so that it'd fit securely, but not too tight to be uncomfortable.

"Who gave you permission to lay your hands on me?" The warmth of your touch was strangely starting to get to him. He swatted your hand away, any more of that and he wouldn't know how to react.

Both of you were now glaring at each other. "Is it that hard for you to accept someone's act of kindness? I'm just trying to help." You could've sworn there was a slight change in his eyes when you said that, but was quickly replaced by an irritated smirk on his face. "I don't recall ever asking for your help, go give it to someone who actually needs it." He waved you off before plopping himself down on one of the stools before suddenly picking out random beads and charms like he wasn't against the idea a moment ago.

With furrowed brows and your mouth left slightly agape by his rude behavior, your face settled on a frown. You were used to the wanderer's arrogance and unpleasant attitude towards people, but there are times where even you are left puzzled. You went out of your way to make sure the activities kusanali planned out wouldn't overwhelm him, she'd ask you if you were doing this out of pity for him. You firmly shook your head.

You simply cared for him, that's all there was to it, but it didn't seem like he reciprocated the motion. The last he's heard from you was a sigh, before the sound of your footsteps slowly leaving faded.

You haven't visited him since. I mean how could you? if he was going to act like a brat while you spent your time there then might as well steer clear out of his way. No, you weren't being petty, and even if you were, you most certainly had every right to be. You nodded to yourself, justifying your actions as wanderer just being an asshat and you being the more mature one in this situation.

It wasn't easy. There were times where you would cross paths when he was on break from his duties (and bracelet crafting), or times where he himself is actively seeking you out, and before he could even call out your name, you're already making a bee line towards the exit.

You sat yourself down, exhausted from all this running around. Another successful day of not coming into contact with the wanderer.

"Doesn't he have other businesses to attend to?" If he had time to be going around looking for you then surely he was slacking off, right?

"As far as I'm concerned, you are my business." Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"So how long do you plan on avoiding me?" he was standing behind you, face leaning down above your head as you met his gaze from your position on the bench.

You put on an air of annoyance before flicking his forehead, causing him to hiss and reel back from your attack as he rubbed the spot. "Hey! you deprive me of your company for days and now you dare assault my face? you-" you were already walking away, with the esteemed wanderer quickly following closely behind you.

"Hey", he reached for your hand, but you batted it away. It was definitely worth it to see the offended look on his face, but there was a small pang in your heart when you saw how his face faltered. "Who gave you permission to lay your hands on me? don't go acting all buddy buddy with me now." you crossed your arms, throwing back what he had said to you a few days ago.

"ah, you're upset with me about last time." You kept a stern look on your face, expecting for more, but if he failed to deliver then you'd have no trouble turning away from him again.

His mouth kept opening and closing similar to that of a goldfish, but no words came out. He looks conflicted. It took him a whole minute to sort out his thoughts, and with a deep sigh he spoke.

"The way I reacted, it was uncalled for. Like you said, you were only trying to help and I should have, I, it's just the way you held my hand, it made me feel weird." his gaze turned downcast feeling a little embarrassed by getting riled up by something so minor as physical contact.

you don't know that of course, you'd just assume he was really really ticklish in some areas

Would you mind closing your eyes for a moment? I promise It'll only take a second", the soft spoken tone he's taken on is foreign to you, but not unwelcome. You were hesitant but complied. And if he does anything funny you'll make sure to write a full on report about it to kusanali.

You could only feel how he softly held your hand, how he delicately glided his dainty finger in order to tie what you assumed was a,

a bracelet?

You opened your eyes and that's when he leaned in, his soft breath near your ear "It was supposed to be a surprise gift, but an apology gift works too." your face felt warm, and your hand did too (to which he was still holding). Was this the weird feeling he was talking about.

A moment after, you examined the accessory on your wrist.

and my was it beautiful.

The main colors of the bracelet were your favorite colors, accompanied by beautiful white pearl beads and crystal flowers and cute charms. Truly something you wouldn't expect the wanderer himself to make.

You released a small laugh, happiness spreading throughout your system. "Did you really make this?" You were starting to look too happy for his liking, but of course you always looked more beautiful with a smile on your face. He scoffed in order to hide the ever creeping happiness that was also starting to spread across his face.

"Is it that hard to believe? I had you in mind when I made it after all, so if you're going to complain about its design then the person used as reference is at fault." You were just about to complain to him about him complaining that you'd not dare complain about it when he added on.

"again, I'm sorry for disregarding your help. Whether I needed it or not, I wanted to make the bracelet solely on my own so that it'd be more meaningful of a gift to give to you." This time he held your gaze, determined and truthful about what he said.

It seems you had judged him wrong, well not entirely. True he had a unique character, but that's just what made him, him. You held his hand, and the colors from earlier are returning to both of your faces. You held it there before pointing to his wrist, "It's only right I make you one as well, right? that way we'll be matching." You then intertwined your fingers. He was gonna combust.

EXTRA:

"I didn't think wanderer would be that into bracelet making" Kusanali peaked from the corner of the room. He was deeply concentrating on what he was doing and she did not want to disturb. "A little peek into that mind of his wouldn't hurt". After using her skill, a flurry of thoughts from wanderer flood her mind.

'Is this too much? or maybe too little? is [y/n] a minimalist or a maximalist?'

'This reminds me of you, this one too, and this one.'

'This charm is cute, like you. Wait no you're most definitely more cuter'

'this bracelet should be honored to be worn by you'

'maybe i'll make you a necklace next'

'I hope you'll like it'

[penkura]

My friend and I have been talking about the idea of Law ending up with a partner who's scared of Doctors/hospitals. Either as a general fear or they had a past of being used as a lab rat. Think it makes an interesting dynamic

I agree greatly! It would be so very interesting to see Law with an SO who is afraid of doctors or hospitals.

Law would notice something is up when you first join the Heart Pirates and hear that he's a doctor. You suddenly quiet and look worried about it, but he doesn't bring anything up at first. White coat syndrome and fear of doctors in general is common enough, he's not hurt by it or anything. He expects you'll move past it as you spend time with him and the crew, coming to realize they aren't going to hurt you or anything, you'll just have routine check ups when it's time and help you through any illnesses.

But when you start to avoid any check ups, even the most basic ones to just make sure you're doing well, Law knows there's something else and he's almost afraid to ask. His worries for you get worse when you actively fight him and Shachi one day when he's trying to check on a wound you got during a fight against another pirate crew. When he merely mentions possible stitches and sees how your eyes widen, he knows there's something very wrong. The fact you start crying, shoving him and Shachi away, telling them not to touch you. Law's about to tell Shachi you need to be sedated so he can check your wound before the red head takes your wrists gently in his hands and gets eye level with you.

"Shh, it's okay, I promise. Captain won't hurt you, he'd never do anything to cause you pain unless it was absolutely necessary. No one's going to hurt you, I promise."

Shachi keeps talking to you until your eyes start to close and you've slumped forward into his arms, Law wondering for a moment if you've worn yourself out before he sees Penguin’s sedated you like he'd originally wanted. It might make you more upset to know they'd done that without fully asking, but it's better so Law can check your wound and you fight him if you do need stitches.

He doesn't ask anything nor does Shachi tell him what's going on yet, not until he's checked you over and your wound is covered. You made it with no stitches, it wasn't that deep in the end.

"What--"

"She was used for medical experiments by some people who said they were doctors. They weren't, they just lied to her, took her to a fake hospital and all that, but..." Shachi sighs a bit, shaking his head and scratching the back of his neck, "She's trying, Captain, she's just scared--"

"Of doctors," Law nods while Shachi looks down, you're still asleep, and it feels weird to talk about you while you're unconscious, "because people lied to her, she doesn't trust me since I am one."

"But she does, Law, she likes you and she trusts you. She needs more time, and help, to know that everything is okay."

Law stays with you after Shachi leaves to give help Hakugan with something else. His first worry was medical negligence had scared you away from doctors, but knowing you'd been lied to and treated like a science experiment angered him. Not knowing about it until now made him believe you didn't trust him enough to tell him, but he wants to change that.

He'll have to apologize for your sudden sedation after you wake up, but at least you weren't too badly harmed during the fight. He's going to do what he can to help you believe that he won't hurt you just because he's a doctor.

(I might have to come back to this later, who knows. 👀)

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen eat their s/o's cooking

cw: food mentions

requested by anon >_< i am a Softie so u can bet that all of these r ridiculously fluffy

masterlist

seungcheol, mingyu, chan

insists on setting the table like you're about to have a whole-ass michelin star dinner, with candles and fancy crystal glasses and a heavy tablecloth and everything, because in his eyes, your cooking is worthy of only the best presentation and delicate table setting. offers to help cook every time, and when you vehemently deny his help and tell him to just sit there and look pretty until you're done, he can't help but chuckle at your seriousness and the utter assuredness you command in the kitchen. gazes at you across the table with such fond eyes, the candlelight making you appear even more ethereal, because he's just so in awe that he has the privilege of being loved like this by someone as incredible as you

jeonghan, seungkwan, vernon

clasps his hands together over the tabletop and watches you cook the entire time, alternating between talking about the most random things and just sitting there and peering interestedly as you chop vegetables and sauté onions. he is wholeheartedly supporting you, and treats the entire dinner like some sort of couple bonding activity, where he asks you about your day and how you made everything. it's his way of showing his interest, and he Will finish his plate along with a second portion, insisting that your cooking is just that good. and it really, really is, partly because you always let him pick the menu, and partly because it's cooked by you

wonwoo, woozi, minghao

you wait on tenterhooks for his verdict bc he always has the most serious food critic face on when he's tasting your cooking. and when he delicately wipes his mouth and gives you an approving nod, you can't help the way you beam in happiness and relief every single time. despite the food critic face, however, deep down you know that he's going to inhale practically all of his plate in one go, because there's something so sweet about you cooking for him, where he gets to relax and swing his legs over on the island chairs and watch u prepare everything for him. won't let you cook all the time, though. because you're still his sweet darling and he should be the one to pamper you the most

joshua, junhui, dokyeom, hoshi

has barely taken half a bite before he's gasping and his eyes are going wide and he's declaring that it's the best thing he's ever had, hands down, gordon ramsay be damned, you're the best chef in the entire world. you slap him on the arm for his exaggeration, laughing, and eventually he relents and tells you incredibly genuinely what his thoughts are. he really does love your food, though, and he will Not stop praising it for the entire night until you're all shy and blushing and practically shoving food into his mouth to get him to stop. clears away the dishes afterwards, insisting that you've done enough work so why don’t you take out that cake from the fridge and relax and let him take care of the washing up for u baby, okay?

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @hanniehaee @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.5 K Warnings: None Prompt: What will happen as you walk inside the snake pit? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 43: Sympathy for the Devil

You appeared in a large hall. Their invitation turned into a paper heron, flew out of your hands and up in the air before blowing up into small little gold specks, a rather elaborate spell for an invitation, which easily showed the amount of time and money the Rosiers had put into their party. Evan’s father, Arkalis Rosier, was a relevant political figure in the British Ministry, so it made sense. 

He was basically the main aid of Harold Mitchum (the current minister) and was actively looking to secure the position in the next election. He was also an ambassador for the Ministry and had met your father during some of his trips, although he had already heard from him since he was close to Orion and your father and Orion went way back. 

Either way, if this party was part of his quest to secure his position in the 1980s election, he was definitely doing a fine job at pampering his guests with bright and colourful tricks, among luxuries. You couldn’t say much about the food, but the small snack table displayed near the far corner of the room looked mouthwatering. 

“Silas! You made it,” said a man as he approached your father. You swallowed, he looked exactly like Evan, except older, and with a thick scar across his left eye, which looked glassy instead of dark green as the other one. 

“Of course. Arkalis, we wouldn’t have missed it for anything,” your mother responded with a bright smile and extended her hand towards him. She did always tend to shine in social situations; shiny grin, elegant manners, and incredibly persuasive stance, she managed to make every single person feel at ease when she was around. You sometimes wondered if it was because of the fairy bIood, running much thicker through their veins or because she had learned, and adapted to your father’s needs. 

The fairy bIood made sense, after all, the fae were known for their lavish parties and alluring abilities to humans and wizards alike. 

Your father extended his hand and shook the man’s hand, who promptly turned to you. “This must be your daughter.” 

You extended your hand politely, channeling a similar energy to your mother’s, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Rosier, I am–” 

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty of you,” he said with a smile. You swallowed. “Horace told me about the time he teamed you up with Evan on potions, he mentioned you had done a delightful job.” 

“Right,” you added as you relaxed. 

“Darling, you didn’t tell us you were friends with Evan,” your mom intervened, looking at you softly.

“I didn’t?” you asked nonchalantly. “Must have forgotten,” you shrugged it off. “You know how busy it’s been since I got to the new school, with all the classes and adapting and meeting new people, new teachers and so forth.”

“Of course, of course,” intervened Arkalis. “The young girl is right, you cannot expect her to tell you every single thing.” 

Well, at least he’s nicer than his child, you thought as you looked at Arkalis and nodded in agreement. Your father, who clearly thought you befriending Evan would be an excellent political advantage was looking at you with a rather stern face. Holding back from speaking but not quite hiding his feelings completely. You pouted in return and continued nodding along with Arkalis.

Eventually, Arkalis had to go and your father grabbed your arm, gently pulling you to him and whispering through gritted teeth, “You didn’t think it would be clever to tell us you are friends with his son?” 

“I am so far from being friends with Evan Rosier I might as well be on a different planet entirely,” you responded as you tried to shake his hand off. Even though he had grabbed onto you gently, the fact that he had done it was upsetting, especially with how much it reminded you of being manhandled by Barty and his gang. 

Your father huffed and let your arm go, you pulled it back and gave him a rather defiant look, “What? Don’t tell me I now must also make friends that are politically convenient to your career?” 

“It wouldn’t hurt if you did.” 

You looked at the ground bitterly, remembering the bruises on your neck and the scraping on your knee and the splinching you had gotten on that November moon, then turning back to him with a calm expression, “Wouldn’t it?” 

“Darling,” your mom intervened, pulling your father from you by hooking her arm with his, “It’s the Sallows, let’s greet them,” she added, your father’s gaze softened for a second, as if he could see through your brave façade, but he turned back to your mother shortly after, and walked along with her to greet the other family.  

Right, go, who gives a fuck anyway, you thought bitterly as you took off in another direction, straight to that food table that had caught your eye a few minutes ago. You picked one of the small bruschettas and took a small bite of it as you looked through the window. Smoked Salmon, you realised as you savoured it. Outside, the sun was starting to set, the gardens were vast and covered by a thick layer of snow, and there was some kind of hedge maze that appeared to be surrounding the property. Perhaps with several spells to keep the muggles away from their house. It was actually rather clever. 

There were a few crows perched on the hedges, black and contrasting with the layer of snow as they picked out something from their branches. While they gave the outside a rather ominous look, it also kind of made sense, considering the heritage of the Rosiers. Some people thought they were related to the eldest Peverell brother, in fact, you had heard rumours of Arkalis looking for the Deathly Hallows, even if most people considered them nothing more than fantasies. 

“What are you doing here?” a scolding voice asked. 

You turned around hastily to find Regulus leaning against the table with a sneaky smirk in his mouth. You sighed, “Godric, Reggie!”

His smile widened and he shrugged, “Fancy seeing you, I spotted your parents earlier, imagined you’d be here too.” 

“Well you’re as clever as sneaky, congratulations!” you said before taking another bite of your bruschetta, it was delicious. 

“You shouldn’t be here though,” he added in a more serious tone, “I overheard my parents talking about–” 

And then it happened, the two large doors at the entrance of the hall snapped open and a man walked inside, making the most dramatic entrance you had ever seen in your life –and you were dating Sirius Black. He looked about as old as Arkalis, except this man was much better looking, not to say Arkalis was ugly –then again, you might have been biased because you despised his son.

Regardless, something about the man was oddly familiar, he had dark hair arranged in a perfectly put-together hairstyle that swooped in a rather elegant way. He was wearing dark wizard robes, although vintage looking, clearly expensive since the material flowed with a cadence that only the finest fabrics could match. He had a charming smile plastered across his delicate features as he approached Arkalis, easily greeting him like an old friend. 

You watched with curiosity, the room seemed awfully silent since he walked in, there weren’t even whispers, Regulus had gone quiet too, as if they knew the man, as if they feared him. You looked at him again, at the elegant curve of his handsome nose and that’s when you knew who he was. You pictured him with a robe, darker lighting, in a blurry photo somewhere in the Daily Prophet that insisted on avoiding the subject. 

“It’s Voldemort,” you whispered as you swallowed thickly, in absolute disbelief of what was going on around you.

You’d expect someone to scream, someone to pull out their wand or at least someone to apparate the hell away, but everyone seemed perfectly fine with the fact that the self-proclaimed dark lord had just busted the party like some sort of Maleficent from the sleeping beauty. 

“Reggie, do you know who that–” 

He shook his head in response, not because he was responding to your question, but rather in a warning manner, clearly telling you to remain as silent as the rest of the people in the room. You gave him a look combined with a sigh and you saw his jaw tighten as he nodded his head. Another warning. Whatever was about to happen, couldn’t be good. You were in the middle of what could possibly a tеrrorist attack–

Except you weren’t.

“Tom, a pleasure to have you here already,” Arkalis said, approaching the taller man with a bright smile, as bright as the one he had greeted your dad with. No, brighter actually. 

It took 10 seconds of the following exchange for you to realise that you weren’t in the middle of a tеrrorist attack but rather that you were at their dinner party. 

Does my father even know? You wondered, and then you spotted him amiably talking to Orion, who seemed as relaxed as possible with the entrance of the Dark Lord into Arkalis’ party. Of course he did, you thought as you tried to hold back a scoff. 

You looked around carefully, not a single wizard seemed perturbed by the situation, not a single one had raised their wands against the man. Even Reggie looked relatively at ease as he witnessed the entire exchange, as if he had seen something similar happen before, that’s when the eerie thought crept up: He has seen this before. And of course, he had, he was the perfect child, polar opposite of Sirius. When you met him he was always scared of doing something that could enrage his parents, terrified of their reaction to him even thinking the wrong thing. 

While Sirius had rebelled against his parents, Regulus had set out to be the ideal child, following their orders to protect himself from the wrath his brother often faced. His survival mechanism was to be the perfect Black child, and if his parents were Dark Wizards then he would have to become one too, at least until he was old enough to flee. 

You looked at him with a pained expression, feeling the same way you had when you figured that he hadn’t been the one to tell on you, but rather been forced to do it, life had been unfair to him then, and was being unfair to him now. And you had no idea if you could even find a way to help him. It was in moments like that, when you realised how much he was like Sirius, both trapped, just in different ways. 

But then again, were you any different? Weren’t you also at the party talking to dark wizards like they were any other influential person in society? Weren’t you standing there, like every single other person, looking at the interaction without raising your wand? 

Of course, you didn’t stand a chance in a duel against the Dark Lord, but wouldn’t the right thing be to try? Wasn’t that what you had been training to do? No, that’s not it either. You remembered a conversation you’d had with Nightshade before you started training, she had said you were talented, but that wasn’t the end of it, your father’s contacts were a key factor here. If you managed to gather enough information tonight, perhaps then you could use that information against them in the future. 

In the end, you’d do what your father has asked you to do from the very start, play the role of the perfect little politician’s daughter, smile and nod and charm people in the same way your mother did often, all in the simple effort to get something useful out of their head’s tonight. You took a deep breath, all that occlumency you had been practising would be more necessary than it had ever been. 

“Excellent, why don’t we eat now?” Tom asked with a charming smile, “I believe you have a surprise prepared for later tonight.”

Evil doesn´t always look the part, you thought as you stared at him, he had a charisma similar to that of your mother, if a little sinister. He walked alongside Arkalis, who was quickly joined by his wife Astoria Rosier, an elegant, fair-haired woman that looked far younger than she could possibly be. Orion and your father followed next, along with a few other people whom you hadn’t identified yet. 

“Not everyone will dine with them I assume?” you said turning to Regulus. 

He shook his head in response, “Only some of us will.” 

“Of course,” you said with a nod, you too were expected to sit on the same table as them. 

You walked alongside Regulus and a few more people towards one of the doors, you saw Evan joining their parents. Barty was at the party too, you had spotted him in the distance earlier, but it seemed he wasn’t going to be part of the few selected, since he had stayed where he was, talking to a girl whom you didn’t recognize from school, but that oddly reminded you of your boyfriend. 

When you reached the table inside the private dining room, you realised the seats had been tagged for everyone. Tom, as Arkalis kept calling the most evil wizard alive, had taken the head of the table while the host, and unsurprisingly, Orion, had taken the two seats next to him. Your father was right next to Orion and there was a rather young man with pale blond hair, as long as Lily’s but completely straight. He couldn’t have been much older than you, he looked in his early twenties at most, a child. 

Your mother was close to your father, Astoria and Walburga right next to her. From there, there was a stern-looking man who you didn’t recognize and a curly-haired woman who looked about as unhinged as Barty. It was your position on the table that you found dire, you were sitting across from your mother and in between the long-haired blond, who looked displeased by having you sitting there instead of someone else and none other than Evan Rosier. When you saw his name next to yours on the small floating name tags, you had to bite your tongue to avoid the displeased sigh that was just about to escape your mouth. 

When you sat down, the small paper with your name displayed on it disappeared, and on your plate appeared a fresh-looking salad. Evan sat down beside you a couple of minutes afterwards. 

“Evan,” you greeted with a tight smile and a simple nod. Yes, you had to play a part, that didn’t mean you’d have to be best friends with Evan Rosier for the night. Why was Regulus so damn far away? You swore he was about the one other person in this entire party with whom you’d actually want to be sitting and there were about seven other people in between the two of you. You took a deep breath and turned to your salad as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire dining room, perking your ears when you heard Orion speak again. 

They mentioned something regarding the salad being fresh, which you thought was the most philistine compliment someone could ever give, and then they started going on about the weather. Apparently, it had been an abnormally cold winter in England this year. And while White Christmas’ weren’t uncommon, they were a lot more rare than they had been in the past few years. 

You heard your mother say something about global warming to Walburga, who seemed puzzled as if she had never heard the term in her life, which in hindsight she might not have since she lived in her own little pure-bIood wizard bubble and tended to stay the hell away from muggle news. Your parents always knew what was happening with the muggles, they thought it was important to stay informed to be able to maintain the relationships between the muggle world and the wizarding world as forthcoming as possible. 

You stabbed a small piece of tomato and brought it to your mouth as you thought of how stupidly prosaic the small talk of dark wizards was. Were they holding back because it was a Christmas dinner? Were they all going to pretend Voldemort wasn’t sitting at the head of the table, eating the same boring salad as the rest of you? 

How did they even manage to accomplish all their evil deeds if they were just talking about the scores of the latest quidditch championships? Okay, that was Evan talking with whoever was sitting beside him, but still.  These people were supposed to be the most dangerous wizards on the planet and yet they were–

“So tell me, how is the little errand I asked for going?” Asked Tom. 

There it is, you thought as you sat a little straighter and paid closer attention to their conversation. By now the salad had disappeared and there was a broccoli soup sitting across from you, the taste was actually pretty good, quite cheesy. Apparently, cheese was the right choice no matter how morally diverse the audience you were hosting was. Although, you weren’t sure their audience really was all that morally diverse, except for you and perhaps Regulus. 

“Excellent,” Arkalis responded as he turned to Tom, he looked awfully pleased with himself. “They’re downstairs, waiting for the show.” 

Tom took a spoon of his soup and then smiled. You saw a snake slowly creeping up his chair, and he seemed awfully comfortable around her when he noticed. The snake hissed and he said something back to her. He speaks parseltongue. 

Now, that might not be new information for Dumbledore, but it was to you. The Daily Prophet didn’t talk about all the skills the Dark Lord had honed through the years. It’s ridiculous, you thought. What if someone tried to use serpensortia against him and got killed by their own spell? Of course, someone who thought that spell was enough to go against Voldemort was going to get killed later on anyway. Regardless, it should already be common knowledge what he was good and bad at. 

“Good, I suppose we’ll be enjoying the spectacle when the dinner’s done?”

“Indeed,” Orion said this time around. “Things must be prepared for the ceremony.” 

Ceremony? What fucking ceremony? You thought as you took another spoon of your soup. You tried to keep your eyes on it, as if not to seem like you were prying. 

“Is the soup really that interesting to you?”  

Godricbedamned, not now fuckface, you thought as you turned around to Evan, “It’s really good, actually. More interesting than you and your friend gushing about your quidditch crushes for sure.” 

The blond man next to you, whom you had now learned was Lucius, snorted when he heard your reply while Evan clenched his jaw and looked at his parents nervously, as if trying to make sure he hadn’t caught your exchange. You followed his gaze and then turned back to look at him with a slight smirk. So that was a low blow then?  You thought as you recalled, he had only talked about male players with his other friend. 

Oh, it’s because Daddy doesn’t know. Better leave the subject behind. You weren’t planning to out him, no matter how much of an asshole he continued to be, even if last time he had actually gotten Severus off your back. Speaking of him, it was a delight not to have to see his long face around, looks like his family didn’t make the cut to be invited to the pit of snakes you were currently in. 

“At least I have someone that’s interested in talking to me.” 

“If I was interested in talking, I’d have already struck a conversation Evan, not all of us are eager to say every single thing that comes to mind.” 

“You wish.” 

You hmphed at that and turned your head to the other side, “Lucius, would you mind passing me the salt?” you asked politely. He turned to you a little confused at first, as if he was surprised you had talked to him and then nodded, handing over the salt to you an instant later. “Thank you. Your shoes are very elegant, by the way.” 

Lucius seemed both surprised and pleased that you had noticed his shoes. They were impeccable like he had either bought them for this event or had them cleaned and polished. He had walked with slow decision as he approached the table earlier, and when you spotted his shoes, you realised why he was being as careful with them as he had been with his hair throughout the night.  This man cared about looking good. 

“Oh, thank you,” he said with a smile. “I got them custom-made by a very elegant designer, you might have heard of him, Alistar Shoman.” 

Gotcha! 

“You’re telling me that’s a pair of Shomans? That’s incredible.” 

Lucius seemed pretty pleased with the conversation, you threw a side glance at Evan who just scoffed and turned to speak to his friend again, all the while you looked at Lucius and pretended the history of the Shoman company was the most interesting thing in the world. Perhaps it was just slightly more interesting than the broccoli soup. 

Then you heard your name drop from Orion’s mouth and you turned to him with the most polite expression you could muster. 

Fuck. You had been paying so much attention to Lucius’ stupid talk to prove Evan wrong that you had missed the one bit of relevant information they had been talking about, and now they were calling you for some reason. What a miserable spy you would make. 

“Yes, Mr. Black?” You asked. 

“We were just talking about the fact that we’ve been so busy that we haven’t been able to go watch the Quidditch Matches recently, but we’ve been told they have been outstandingly interesting.” 

You felt the tension in his voice, they probably knew you had sought against Regulus in the Slytherin vs Gryffindor Match. 

“They have been,” you said with a nod. “Quidditch is certainly something intense at Hogwarts, all of the teams are incredibly capable. It certainly has been a challenge to be able to keep up with my position.” 

Orion laughed at that, “Such modesty.” 

You swallowed, unsure how to respond to that but with a small smile. “Slughorn told me you were one of the most promising players,” added Arkalis. “Some teams are already considering you…” 

That actually caught you by surprise, you loved quidditch, but you had never actually considered making a career out of it. Lucius turned to you with newfound interest, as if now that he knew what you were capable of you had become actually interesting to him, beyond whatever fashion talk you had held earlier. It was hard to hold the urge to glare at him for it. 

“I’m sure all of the players in this table are as good as me, or even better,” you said, thinking of Regulus, and playing your role of clever guest, even if you had given Evan a compliment with it. It wasn’t a lie, Evan was a good chaser, but he was also a total asshole. 

“And yet, your team won in the last match,” Arkalis said, making sure to look down on his son as he spoke the last line. 

You didn’t turn your gaze to Evan but you could tell he had lowered his gaze from the little you saw in the corner of your eyes. No wonder the boy was like he was, his father was even worse than him. You felt a little pity towards Evan, even if you still disliked him thoroughly. 

You decided driving the conversation to a different subject would be the best thing to do before things got even more tense. “How did you meet Professor Slughorn?” you asked, managing to have a genuinely curious look on your face as you did. 

“We studied with him,” replied Tom, turning to look at you with a chill-inducing smirk, both charming and dangerous at the same time. He definitely had that cult-leader vibe going for him, no wonder so many people were so eager to follow him, it wasn’t just because he was powerful or because of their shared hate towards muggles, most of the men in the room shared those 2 characteristics. The one thing that made the difference was how much more charming this man was in comparison. “We were both in the Slug Club too, weren’t we, Arkalis?” 

Arkalis hummed in response, “Indeed, he used to say Tom was the most brilliant student he ever taught.” 

“He likes playing favourites,” you added with a smile. 

“He does indeed,” agreed Arkalis, and eyed his son again, his gaze reproachful and thunderous. “He told me you and Evan made an excellent team.” 

You remembered that day and tried not to shudder at the thought of Evan’s hand squeezing your injury, “Right we did,” you said as you placed your hand on his shoulder, making sure to dig your nails enough to make him uncomfortable. “He’s delightful to work with,” somehow you managed to make that sound honest rather than sarcastic. “He’s especially good at measuring and mixing.” 

Arkalis seemed pleased with your praising of his son, and you thought they might start talking more the more pleased he was, especially since his wine wasn’t refilling fast enough. In fact, every single person in the room seemed to be drinking moderately, as if they were trying to keep their heads clear for whatever surprise they were talking about earlier. 

“We’ve been friends ever since, haven’t we Ev?” you added with a charming smile.

“Right,” Evan added, “Best friends.” 

Arkalis seemed pleased with the response, your father still looked irritated over the fact that you hadn’t told him about your friendship with Evan, even more so since he thought you lied to him earlier when you said you and Evan were light years away from becoming friends. The rest of the table seemed to buy your lie, except for Regulus who was looking at you with a rather anxious look on his face. While he didn’t know everything Evan had done to you, he had a pretty good idea of some of the things based on things he had heard at the Slytherin table. 

You smiled shortly and then someone who you didn’t recognize said something to Arkalis and drew the conversation away from the two of you. Evan leaned over, “What the hell are you playing at?” he asked. 

“I’m playing my role as a nice guest, how about you play the one of a nice host and we pretend we don’t hate each other’s guts for the night?” you retorted. “Your father seemed pleased enough about our friendship or whatever.” 

“You shouldn’t have come tonight.” 

“As if I wanted to,” you scoffed and turned back to listening to the adult’s conversation, they were now going on about the Ministry of Magic. They mentioned something about how he was now doing exactly what he was meant to do and you felt chills run down your spine when you spotted Voldemort’s smile. 

The Ministry is on his hands, no wonder there is no news about him on the daily prophet. Just how many deatheaters are out there? All infiltrated on normal day jobs and working towards making the world a much darker place… the idea was horrifying, and yet everyone at the table seemed incredibly pleased with it. 

Eventually, you finished dinner, Tom was the first one to stand and he said something about it being time for a show. At this point, you dreaded finding out whatever the hell was his idea of entertainment, from what you’d heard, it couldn’t have been good. 

You were on your way towards the exit, trying to find Regulus again when Arkalis walked beside you and offered you his arm, “Darling, would you mind talking to me for a second?” he asked, using a charm similar, but not nearly as masterful as the one Voldemort had. 

You looked around trying to find Regulus, of course, Arkalis had asked, but the way he had said it was enough for you to know that it wasn’t actually an option to say ‘no’. Reggie was a few feet from you and he sent you another anxious glance before Orion intercepted him. 

“Sure, of course,” you replied as you felt Arkalis’ hand over your shoulder, urging you for an answer, you hooked your hand in his and followed him to a different room, completely missing the absolutely terrified look on Evan’s face. 

“How may I be of help to you, Mr. Rosier?” You asked calmly, whatever reason Arkalis had to bring you to the library, it was not intending to hurt you, at least you hoped it wasn’t. And the chances were low since it would be a very stupid decision to make considering who your father was, and how close he seemed to be to Orion, who, you had concluded, was closer to Voldemort than Arkalis, even if they had studied together. 

Whether you liked it or not, your parents’ connection to Orion Black, was the reason you were safe in this party. 

“You’re friends with Evan, correct?”

You heard a shuffling at the end of the room, turning to look but finding nothing, you narrowed your eyes in that direction only for a second before turning back to Arkalis, he didn’t look like an overly patient man, “Indeed.” 

“Excellent,” he said with a nod and then smiled, a smile so warm and kind that you might have bought his good intentions if you hadn’t been deterred by the thing that left his mouth afterwards, “You would tell me if he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing, right?” 

Like threatening to throw me off the astronomy tower, choke me and throw me off my broom along with his boyfriend? Sure, you thought. 

“Something he shouldn’t be doing?” You played dumb, that seemed to always do the trick for people like Arkalis. 

“I’ve heard some rumours about my son.” 

Rumours? You wondered. Whatever the hell is he–

“People have been saying he’s really close to a boy in school.” 

“Evan has many friends,” you responded, just now guessing what Arkalis could mean. 

“Closer than that,” he told you. “It’s a… deviation that happens to muggle men often?” 

Fucking hell, you thought when you realised what he meant. Arkalis wants to know if Evan is gay, but the way he approached the subject, using the words “deviation” and “muggle” with such derision.  You tilted your head slightly, trying not to look offended by his homophobia. 

“I’m not sure I understand, Sir, Evan has many friends.” 

“I mean, does he have a boyfriend?” Arkalis asked. 

There it is. You played surprised at that. You heard another movement on the side, “Oh, Merlin no!” you said surprised. “I would definitely know if Evan had a boyfriend,” you said, trying to sound as confident as possible. It wasn’t completely a lie, you did know. 

Then you felt Arkalis trying to prickle at your mind, looking for something, inside of it, the truth, you realised. And then you gave him what he wanted to see. You used every single ounce of mental power to conjure up one image and one image only. Evan pushing you against the railing of the Astronomy tower, hand in your throat and leaning onto you, the same way it had happened then except, there was no one else, and rather than lean over to threaten you, Evan was leaning over to kiss you. 

You tried to hold your thoughts of disgust at the image being projected on your mind as much as possible, but you knew that, at least that scene, would get Arkalis off of Evan’s back for a while. 

No, you didn’t like Evan, you’d go as far as to say that you hated his guts, but no matter how much hate you harboured for the blond, you would never out him, let alone to a clearly abusive and homophobic father like Arkalis. Take it as the good deed of the day, you thought as you used memories of kisses with Sirius to make the scene more realistic. 

Eventually, Arkalis stopped digging inside your mind and you felt relief wash over you, allowing the horrifying image of kissing Evan Rosier to dissolve. Arkalis pulled back with a pleased smile. “What a deceptive little thing,” he said as he looked at you with a smirk and grabbed onto your jaw to pull your head up slightly. You gave him an innocent look in return, as if you had no idea what he was talking about. 

Does he know I’m trying to trick him? Did he notice?, you wondered as you moved your hand towards your dress pocket to try and find your wand. 

“Pardon?” You asked meekly. 

“We all thought you were dating Orion’s eldest son,” he said Sirius’ name with scorn, and you had the urge to spit on his face, you somehow managed to hold back.  

“I am dating Sirius,” you replied with an innocent frown, voice still soft, still playing a part, Arkalis had to think you had no idea he had dug inside your mind. 

His smile just widened, “Of course, my bad,” he said with a smile and pulled his hand away from your face. “If you see Evan tell him I’m proud of him. He’s got a good eye for women.” 

You swallowed thickly but managed to give him a confused nod in response. It was meant to be a compliment, and yet it made you want to puke, you definitely did not like Arkalis better than you did Evan. You didn’t even like him better than you liked Barty. 

“Uhm… of course, Sir,” you replied, still playing dumb, his smile grew wider and he bowed his head before exiting the room. 

When he was gone you allowed yourself to sigh, shutting your eyes as you thought over everything that had happened. And then you felt a hand in your arm, gripping tightly, just like he had back in potions class. 

“What the hell was that about?” Evan asked from behind, he looked absolutely baffled. 

“Oh, Evan, you were the one eavesdropping then,” you replied with a sigh and shoved your arm to try and pry his hands off of it. So fucking handsy, you thought as you remembered his father’s stupid hands on your jaw. “Do you mind?” 

Evan seemed just as puzzled and slightly angry now too, and while he didn’t let go of you entirely, he did loosen his grip, which you were thankful for. “Why did you–? What the hell did you tell my father?” 

“You know, the right way to express what you’re feeling right now is to say thank you,” you replied annoyed, you hadn’t saved his ass for him to be a total asshole about it. 

He finally let your arm go completely and passed a hand through his hair, “What I mean to say is, you know about me and Barty, you could have told him, gotten rid of the two of us in an instant, my father would have probably sent me abroad to some other school if he found out and yet you… made him assume I like a woman?” 

You sighed, “Look, Evan. I don’t like you, okay? You’ve been an asshole to me from the fucking start and frankly, I wish I could beat the fuck out of you sometimes, but there are lines that I’m not willing to cross. No matter how much of an asshole you are, I would never out someone just because I dislike them, let alone to someone like your father.” And then you scoffed, “Muggle-deviation, fucking hell, just say gay.”  

Evan was speechless after that, he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what he should say or if he even should. Perhaps he really should thank you for covering for him, but even that would feel empty. What you had done might have been one of the nicest things anyone had done for him in his entire life, but how could an enemy be the one to do that? 

“I– I mean I–” 

You sighed again, “Just… leave it,” you said and left the room, and an incredibly confused Evan inside of it. 

Evan disliked you, he disliked you for throwing a Quaffle on Barty’s face and breaking his beautiful nose, he hated you for being a know-it-all, he hated you for being good at quidditch and he hated you for being such a self-righteous prick who considered herself better than him. He hated you for constantly teasing Barty and Mulciber and Snape, he hated you for how reckless you were and for picking up fights with people who were bigger and stronger without backing down from them. And his whole idea of you was crumbling down because he wasn’t sure he would have done the same thing in your position. If he knew how to destroy you, would he have hesitated? 

Would he have saved you too?

Evan sank to the floor and started to cry, he wasn’t sure if the thick salty drops falling from his eyes were from angry or relieved tears. He didn’t know why he was crying, he just knew he couldn’t stop. The complexity of his emotions churned within him. You had the power to vanish him, you could have told his dad and the one bit of happiness he’d found would have been gone in an instant. He wouldn’t have seen Barty ever again. 

Did you even know how much you had done for him in that 5-minute talk you’d had with Arkalis? 

Years of hiding, years of being careful, years of feeling like he was wrong, and that what he liked was poisonous, deserving of mistreatment and scorn, years of dreading his father finding something, anything that could out him. All gone in a small little chat, where you barely even fucking spoke. The smile Arkalis had made, the relief in his eyes –the acceptance– that made Evan want to cry even more. Because no matter how great he was, no matter how perfect he was, he would never, ever be truly accepted by his father. Never would he make him as happy as you had by implying to him he liked a girl. 

He was miserable, and out of all people, you had been the one to make his sorrow, even if it was just slightly, less painful, less burdensome and less suffocating. 

Yet, despite the relief, Evan couldn't shake the lingering bitterness that consumed him. He resented you for knowing his weak spot, and yet, beneath the layer of resentment and anger, there was a tiny ember of gratitude, a flicker of acknowledgement for the unexpected reprieve you had granted him. As he sat there, tears staining his cheeks, he wasn’t sure he could continue hating you anymore. 

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: This might be one of my favourite chapters to write. I really like those emotionally charged scenes, but you've probably already noticed. Also, even antagonistic characters have feelings and boy, do some of them run deep... Poor Evan (I told you guys I did like the Slytherin boys, but the rivalry still exists. Even if, to their different points of view, the villain might just be, well: us. Love, Lils xx

Read more Marauders Fiction

[pubbamoon]

Random Astrology Observation 3

Hi and welcome to my another random astrology observation. I like this series, 'cause I have a free will to choose any placement to discuss about and I hope you do like it too. This observation might be related to both Western and Vedic astrology. Take it as it resonates and leave what does not resonate with you. Cool, we can start now!

Whoever natives have aspect between Mercury and Neptune, I feel sorry for these people, especially if they still go to school. Mercury is about learning, while Neptune is about illusions, so these people may not see things clearly or they can't communicate effectively. They can have a hard time processing informations and they may interpret things way more different than other students/people. Because of that, they might seem stupid or blunt to others, which may not be the case. Believe me, I have Mercury conjunct Neptune in my natal chart and although I can be creative and intuitive with this placement, I also have a hard time with having a conversations with the people who are close to me, because I interpret informations differently, which makes it seem that I don't listen to them at all.

Transit Pluto has been placed in Aquarius since January this year and we already see its influence in this sign. Some people from the upper class and even celebrities are exposed for their shady things they have done in the past, since Pluto represents exposing the truth, while Aquarius is about collectives, revolutions, changes for a higher good etc. In Vedic astrology, this pattern can be seen by the transit Saturn in Shatabhisha nakshatra in Aquarius, 'cause Saturn represents punishment and Shatabhisha nakshatra is about the hidden things we don't see or we don't even know about. This transit was relevant at the beginning of this year.

Speaking of transit Pluto in Aquarius, since this planet has been placed in my natal 1st house, I started to experience many spiritual awakenings and transformations I don't think I've ever experienced before. I actually had the spiritual awakening somewhere in 2018/19, when transit Pluto was conjuncting my natal Venus in Capricorn and Venus is my 9th house ruler in my natal chart, which is the house of spirituality. I cannot imagine what would happen to me when the transit Pluto will tightly conjunct my natal Ascendant.

In the context of predictions through transit, it's always important to see if some transit planet is currently aspecting your natal planets, not just looking in which your natal house the transit planet is placed. For example, I'll use the transit Jupiter in Gemini. For Sagittarius Rising natives, they've mostly heard that this transit planet is going to be in their natal 7th house of long-term relationships and marriage, which might be the flourishing time for this native if they want to find a new partner. But if they have a Saturn in Gemini in their natal chart, forming a conjunction aspect with the transit Jupiter, it's not going to be very well, because Saturn is about restrictions and hardships. If some of these natives don't have any planets in their 7th house, it's crucial then to look for their 7th house ruler, Mercury. If Mercury, as their 7th house ruler, is placed in Libra and forms a trine aspect with the transit Jupiter, then they can expect some new love to come into their lives.

Overall, that would be everything for today. This will be one of the shortest observations I've ever made, but I hope you won't mind it. The reason why it took me so long to make another post is that I've become busy in my private life. Because I don't have much time for astrology, my personal paid readings will be closed on July 19, 2024 at 10:26 AM UTC, but I'll still be active and make astrology posts here on Tumblr. So, if someone wants to book a reading with me, you can do that until July 19 this year. I hope my readings will be open as soon as possible, but I can't promise you anything so far. Regardless, I wish you all had a beautiful day ahead.

Best regards,

Paky McGee

[busket]

I've been seeing posts discussing the terms MTF and FTM saying stuff like "that's how cis people understand our experience, not trans people" or "what do you mean female to male, I've never been female" and I think that's a totally valid stance to have, but I take issue with the implication that those terms should be done away with entirely and that no one can relate to them.

personally, I do believe I was a woman before I transitioned. I lived as a woman, I believed I was a woman, I told people I was a woman. I did all the same when I came out as nonbinary, and I do all the same now that im a man. I don't consider these stages in my life to be any less real. Just because I'm a man now doesn't mean I wasn't a woman then, and just because i was a woman then doesn't make me any less of a man now. I don't relate to the notion that I have a true gender, inherent to my soul. maybe someday I won't be a man, and that's okay. this is all my own life, something that only I know for myself.

honestly I wonder if some trans people feel the need to say "I was never my birth gender" to validate their experience to cis people. you can't be a faker if you've known this all your life. but some trans people, like me, do not share that experience. I doubted if I was a trans man because I didn't relate to it. I find more truth in the term "ftm" than I do to "afab" because the latter defines me now by something that happened to me at my birth, and not an active process I am undergoing and a set of choices I've made to bring joy into my life.

and truly we will never find a set of terms that resonates with everyone, because every single person has a different experience with their gender and not one is more or less correct than another. I'm no less of a man than a trans man who knew all his life he was a man and we are both no less men than a cis man who was born a man and lived his whole life as a man. everyone is different and everyone is going to find truth in different acronyms, and some of us just simply aren't meant to be defined.

[omasumi-413]

STOP USING ANTI-SELF LANGUAGE IN COMPETITIVE POKEMON!!!!!

instead of: i lost because i made a lot of poor choices. a few misplays and bad predictions.

say: "Unfortunate" doesn't begin to describe my series, this game rewards blind luck and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and refusing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior, my play was superior, and I lost, so I don't see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not. I am done with competitive Pokemon, and you won't get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but stops short of killing its host. Tournaments used to have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by the sidelines and tear each other to shreds over scraps of attention. The environment we fostered has trapped us all like this in a vicious cycle, and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away, that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance. I would make this the end, but World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I'll suffer through a few more games for them. One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain, ridicule, and self-righteous fervor, before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts, box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory, and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on, nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from detachment.

[apathetic-revenant]

uh...hi?

[head pokes around corner]

so...

I've been back to scrolling around on tumblr for a bit now, and have been really wanting to get back to actually, y'know. being here. posting. not just sort of hanging here invisibly like a mournful ghost, observing but never interacting. that sort of thing. (revenants, after all, are supposed to be corporeal undead.)

but I really wanted to explain why I just kind of abruptly vanished in the first place. no one demanded this of me, but it felt like something I had to do. and then, in the typical way of self-imposed obstacles, it became a massive stumbling block. partly because of the nerves and emotions attached to it, sure, but mostly, tbh, because it was a Task. I recently (about 3 weeks ago now?) started seeing a new psychiatrist and got an adjustment to my ADHD meds which basically made my brain boot up again for the first time in way too long. this is great! but it means I am having to kind of slowly rehab my brain into getting used to doing Literally Anything again, one small step at a time. I am not being hyperbolic when I say I had to gradually build up my executive functioning for a while just to be able to write a tumblr post.

but fuck it! I really wanted to just do this already. so, while I'm sure I'll talk about all this in more detail later, for right now I'm gonna strip this down to the bare essentials just so I can get it done at all.

here's what happened:

in 2020 I had a sudden onset of extremely severe OCD.

no, not about the pandemic, actually. yeah I was anxious about the pandemic but it was a pretty normal level of anxiety for a global pandemic, honestly. my OCD took the form of scrupulosity--essentially, an obsessive worry about being a bad person.

tumblr is....not a GREAT place to be if you have a sudden obsessive fear of being a bad person.

now, to be clear: tumblr did not CAUSE my OCD, and leaving tumblr did not cure it. that's just not how OCD works. later on, I learned that atypical antipsychotics--one of which I had been prescribed around that time, for depression--have been known to cause OCD. is there any way to prove that that's what happened? probably not, at this point! so I've just been kind of sitting with that terrible knowledge for a while.

anyway. I would've had OCD anyway, but reading a regular stream of posts going "hey, here's a really terrible thing you might be doing! you might even be doing it without knowing it! you need to think really hard and be constantly vigilant all the time for any sign that you might be doing this thing!" was basically pouring gasoline on the fire.

I never made an active decision to leave tumblr--if I had I would've said something first. I just kind of thought "god, I can't do this right now" one day and didn't open the app, which turned into days and then weeks and then months, and still things weren't getting better.

it's hard to express exactly how harrowing that whole experience was. actually I just started thinking about it and realized I would never finish this post tonight if I tried to get into it just now. so I won't. let's just say: It Was Bad.

but, by an astronomical stroke of luck, I ended up getting referred to not just an OCD therapist, not just the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid, but the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid and also she was really good at her job. I genuinely think that woman saved my life.

OCD therapy is one of those "the only way out is through" kind of things. it's brutal and also quite surreal, but it has a high success rate and is very effective. OCD is not a thing that you can cure, per se, but it went from completely dominating every waking moment of my life to being something that I occasionally have to yell at in much the same way as when the cat starts knocking things off my desk at 3 in the morning.

but, the thing was, it took a year-and-a-bit before my therapist and I agreed that I had probably "graduated" as she put it. so, by the time I felt able to go back on tumblr without my brain catching on fire again, it had been so long that I didn't know how to do it. I felt like I'd pulled a major dick move by just dropping off without saying anything. I still thought about it (usually late at night, at Time To Think About Every Regret I've Ever Had O'Clock) but my brain very easily goes to a place of "well, no one would really notice or care that I was gone, and if they did they'd be mad at me for having left."

well. earlier this year I started on the road to getting past that idea. shoutout to @fordtato for helping with that, btw.

but it took me a while to work up the courage and then, as previously mentioned, even longer to work up the neurotransmitters.

I think I gotta wrap this up for now cause I don't have much concentration juice left. but, for what it's worth: I had a lot of emotions, coming back and seeing the names of people I used to talk to all the time. I don't know how you feel about me anymore, but I really missed yall. I would like to talk to you again.

[amethystamanda]

Basin Shower

This is a 'shower' to match my Pitcher and Basin Set. Your sims will be able to wash themselves without waiting for their weekly bath or for their 6 siblings to be done in the tub.

It's a bit tricky to place. The basin has nothing to do with the placement except that it's the part you hold. You can put the basin on the other side of the wall if you go too close, so if it vanishes, check there. The important spot is invisible once it's placed--you NEED the spot in front of the basin and to the immediate left clear, or your sim won't be able to reach it.

Clutter the basin up as much as you like, including putting things inside the basin. These all work in game.

I don't recommend the last one, but it will work.

It's designed to work with the dresser from Cottage Living. It floats a TINY bit on counters, but you won't see that unless you're at eye level with the counter. You can use move objects to raise it if you're willing to ignore your sims floating when using it, although there is a limit to how high it can go before sims can't reach it. If you want to put it on something lower, you can make that thing bigger or put something on top of it. You can place it using move objects onto things it doesn't want to go on, but if that thing is functional, you shouldn't because it can cause routing issues for that thing--not for the basin though, as far as I can tell.

It does NOT go into slots. Don't be surprised if a sim puts a toy or a dirty dish inside if you place it in the same place a slot exists. You may want to fill slots first and then place somewhere that has no slots it if that concerns you.

It comes in the same 8 swatches as the basins from the original set, which match the multitude of swatches for the pitchers.

Everything is properly tagged for the base colour. It should be off-the-grid compatible. I say should, because these (and the sink from the first set) are my first OTG items, and while they're based on in-game OTG items, OTG is tricky to get to stick.

152 polys. Costs 100 simoleons.

Important info:

Leave the space in front of and to the immediate left of that clear! That's where the 'shower' is.

There is no water effect, because that would mean water falling from mid-air.

There is no soap, because that goes with the water, unfortunately.

Can break, but will not visibly break. That also goes with the water.

Can get dirty, but just like the sink, it will not get visibly dirty. I had to choose between transparent or solid water, and transparent won. Visible dirt was with the solid water.

Sims can do everything that they can with a normal shower, including shaving if you have high school years, EXCEPT woohoo.

This has custom tuning. That makes it slightly more likely to break in a patch. If it does, I may not notice if I'm not actively using it in my game at the time. PLEASE let me know if you're using it and it breaks.

It does not have custom animations. Sims will act as if water's falling on them. Not so noticeable if you play with the game's mosaic, but if you play with the mosaic removed, it may look odd. I am not an animator, so it is what it is.

The water does not move. With the sink, I was able to move things around and make the surface move a bit when in use. When I tried that with the shower, there was water falling out of the cabinet underneath.

CC in the pics:

Walls by @peacemaker-ic https://peacemaker-ic.tumblr.com/post/152462832529/i-only-make-walls-when-i-am-in-the-mood-or

Lamp by @vampireloreskill, updated by @jewishsimming https://jewishsimming.tumblr.com/post/657737836277252096/historical-buildbuy-objects-made-off-the-grid-hey

Hair by @simstrouble https://simstrouble.tumblr.com/post/676540331899109376/elena-by-simstrouble-named-after-my-sweet-mama

Pitcher by me, from the set linked at the top

Download: http://simfileshare.net/folder/222894/

[honeytonedhottie]

trusting and betting on urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🫧

keep promises that u make to urself : just like how if u know someone who continuously makes promises to do something, yet they never act upon it, you won't trust that person or believe them if they promise u something else. this is also the same with urself. ur new years resolutions? ur goals that you've had for a while but never ever did? all those promises that you've made to yourself and the ones that you haven't followed up on will lessen trust with urself. do what u say you'll do. "stand on business" and if u know that u won't be able to deliver or do what u say you would, dont say it. dont tell urself promises that u won't be able to keep. once u start keeping ur own promises, you'll start to build trust within urself.

hold yourself accountable : just a quick disclaimer but when i say holding urself accountable i do NOT mean punishing urself!! when u find urself falling into old and fruitless patterns you need to hold urself accountable and make sure that u straighten up. the thing about our relationship with self is that a relationship needs BOUNDARIES. you need to set boundaries with urself. what will u or what will u not do? ur non-negotiables?

and when u find urself crossing boundaries within yourself take the BIGGEST step back. the key to forming a healthy relationship with urself is to balance being strict and gentle with urself. strict in the sense that ur the only one that can get u to where u wanna be, and gentle in the sense that ur best won't look the same every single day and u should also listen to urself and what u want, without having to compromise on ur boundaries. kind of finding that middle line is important, bcuz when we're too lenient with ourselves, we get too comfortable and that leads me into my next point...

where growth begins : u cannot expect to grow if ur too comfortable and honestly, this is why most people stay stagnant. its bcuz being comfortable FEELS GOOD. but growth will almost never happen when ur comfortable, on the contrary growth can only happen outside of ur comfort zone. if u want better things for urself, ur simply gonna have to DO BETTER.

the importance of ur self concept : even if ur not familiar with or u dont practice conscious manifesting/law of assumption, i think that working on ur self concept can still be such a fruitful thing to do. i say this because self concept is the way that u view urself in relation to ur desires/goals. its seeing urself as worthy and powerful, and truly grasping ur potential to do great things. a way to start with ur self concept is with affirmations! start telling urself about urself in a positive connotation. you're unstoppable <3

putting it into practice : start small, challenge urself a little bit every day. do one hard thing a day, doing so will build ur confidence bcuz u won't be so daunted by ur big goals when you've already done so many hard things. when u see something challenging instead of thinking "oh i can't do this" you'll have confidence in urself and what u are capable of. oftentimes when we have goals, we kick ourselves out of rooms before we've even tried to get in them bcuz we think "im not good enough" or "im not worthy" which isnt true at ALL. dont shoot urself in the foot. thats self sabotage. and thats not hot.

motivating urself : if u remind urself of your "why" then you'll have reason to stay consistent and truly try. i recommend asking urself the tougher questions, like "what do i want out of my life?" or "am i truly happy and if not what can i do to get there?" once you've decided what u want out of life make a VISION BOARD and actively pursue your dreams. u can't actively pursue something if u dont know what it is. so i advise u to remind urself whenever u feel that u need it of your "why", your driving cause. having that motivation, and actively pursuing and keeping the promises that u make to urself -> will then build ur confidence in yourself to the point where your betting on urself bcuz u know that no matter what cards you are dealt, you'll prosper.

so just to wrap things up, an overview ; start keeping ur promises -> be strict -> get comfy being uncomfy -> say ur self concept affirmations -> apply -> remind

[lynnuvo]

Golden Retriever's Leash

Characters: Midoriya Izuku x Female (Y/N)

If there's one thing anyone knows about Midoriya Izuku, it was that he was the sweetest boy in all of UA. His kindness and seemingly never-ending flow of support played a great part in your romantic interest in him, after all. Fueled by his oblivious encouragement, you surprised Midoriya with a date consisting of some of his favorite activities and merch to ask him out. He was a blushing mess and cried on the spot, sputtering acceptance between sobs. After being bullied for years and being fixated on his quirkless or now-quirk-filled body, he hadn't expected anyone to see him in such a light.

But the truth was that more than a couple did. You just happened to have the balls to get to him first.

It was unfortunate you weren't in his class. After learning about what happened at the Unforeseen Simulation Joint (USJ), you were quick to ask for his number that day in the cafeteria. His classmates' gushing made your insides swirl, but you continued, telling Midoriya you wanted to learn more about him. He--with a face as red as a tomato--happily gave it to you. Since then, you both messaged pretty often and went on a few hangouts outside of school. With trouble brewing about with villains, however, Midoriya had been messaging less, and you two haven't gotten to hang out as much.

Your classmates and even some students outside of class gushed about how lucky you were to have Midoriya by your side, but you knew there were at least a few that were jealous. Or at least you guessed. Though you displayed confidence about the security of your relationship to your friends, a part of you was anxious about him losing feelings. This was especially so now that he lived in a dorm with his entire class.

One day, you were leaving class when you heard your name being called. You turned to the right to find Midoriya in his school uniform, with his tie still not properly done, rushing over to you. His smile was beaming so hard, you would have been blinded if it were possible.

"Midoriya-kun, nice to see you," you greeted with a smile, ignoring the gushes of your friends as they hurried to leave you alone with your lover. "It's not often you come all the way to my class. What's up?"

"Oh--uh--I just missed you is all," he replied with a blush. One of his hands grasped yours. "It's been so hectic lately. I was thinking maybe...seeing you would make my day better. Can I walk you back to your dorm?"

You chuckled. "Better yet, why don't we go sit in the courtyard? I missed you too. Let's talk before we have to go back!'

"Really?! That'd be great! Yes please!"

You both headed to his dorm for your spontaneous date. His classmates waved upon noticing your presence, and a couple of the girls made noises that sent Midoriya into a blushing mess. His class has met you a few times, all of which you managed to squeeze in free time to be somewhere around them. Most of their welcoming aura, however, likely resulted due to Midoriya sharing cute pictures of you to them and gushing about how in love he was. At least, that was what you knew according to Mina Ashido.

Once you both settled on a bench, you stretched your arms. "Ah, it feels good to hang out again. Are you busy this afternoon?"

His smile fell a bit. "I am, unfortunately. I was hoping to ask you on a date, but I need to prepare for my Provisional Hero License Exam. It's really important."

"I know it's important to you, love. I don't know what hero would exist without one," you chuckled, ruffling his fluffy green hair. You reached into your bag and pulled out a bento box and a pair of chopsticks. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to finish the leftovers from lunch. Would you like to try some?"

"I'm okay, don't worry! You don't have much left, so you should eat them all."

"It's fine. You won't hurt me by trying my cooking again."

"I wouldn't want you to go hungry later because of that one scoop though. Oh! Hold on! I almost forgot!"

Your boyfriend dug through his backpack and withdrew a box of chocolates with an adorable red bow wrapped around it. As he undid it, he explained, "I was visiting the grocery store the other day when I ran into a student here at UA in their uniform still. I don't know why they were outside UA in their uniform since it's especially dangerous, considering the USJ attack. I was in my civilian clothes because of that. Maybe they were running a quick errand before heading back to the dorms? Um. Anyway, she saw me and ran away almost immediately. I was freaking out and wondered if I did something to offend her that badly, but then she came back while I was at the register with this box. She said she just bought it and wanted to give it to me."

The excitement you had for the chocolates faded away the more he spoke. Maintaining a smile the best you could, you took a piece of chocolate he offered and asked, "Why did she give you chocolates?"

"She said it was because I was cool and thought it could help me relax," he answered with a slight blush. You'd learned a long while ago that his blushes were prone to emotions of different kinds, but your stomach churned despite your brain acknowledging he was probably just flustered at the praise. "I said thanks and thought about giving it to you."

"Awww, that's...so sweet, love." You ate the chocolate and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for thinking about me, but it doesn't feel right for me to eat something meant for you."

He frowned. "Please? Do you not like it?"

"Oh, no! It's delicious. I just...."

"If you like it, don't hesitate to eat. Pretty please? I'll try your leftovers in exchange for you eating some more chocolate."

You rolled your eyes with a smile. "I just can't resist an offer like that from you, can I?"

The two of you spent the rest of the hour you had together chatting about classes and what else has been going on in your lives. It didn't take long to finish eating, and you both decided to conclude your meeting then. Once you both parted, your mind returned to the girl who gifted your lover the chocolates. Even as you tried to fall asleep, your heart was heavy while your mind conjured up different scenarios that endangered your relationship. Although you doubted that Midoriya would ever betray you, security wasn't set in stone. You two have been together for less than a year, and people could be unpredictable.

A few weeks went by. You and Midoriya privately celebrated the acquisition of his new license by enjoying dinner at a restaurant. The boy was all nerves, a cute sight. He'd never been on a date until he met you. Despite having been on several since then, a meal in a dimly lit, fancy location set such a romantic tone. You both shared a gentle kiss at the end of the night. Things were looking up for you two.

Until Midoriya came up to you with another gift from a girl.

And another.

One was flowers and another was an All Might keychain, both to celebrate his accomplishments thus far. Now, you didn't like thinking of yourself as the jealous type. It was smarter to acknowledge that those gifts were likely given with his well intent. But what bothered you was that not only was Midoriya not reassuring you, but he was also clearly oblivious. Despite knowing you needed to either talk to him or figure out how to dissolve your emotional conflict yourself, you opted for the second. It'd be less embarrassing for him to not know this side of you.

What made you sad upon thinking about it shifted into agitation when you were approached by a girl in one of the Support classes. You had just finished a mathematics test. After a night of cramming information, all you wanted to do was go to your room and take a fat nap. Alas, lunch was in the way, but you could use some energy. While you were in line, she tapped you on her shoulder.

"Excuse me, I hope this isn't too invasive to ask, but do you and Midoriya-san know each other personally?" she questioned, twiddling her fingers. "I've seen you two talk in the halls a couple times; that's why I ask."

You nodded. "Uh--yes. How come?"

"Well, I was wondering...um...sorry this is embarrassing."

You smiled and ushered her in front of you. She didn't have a lunch box and didn't reject your indirect offer to enter the line. "It's okay. You can tell me."

"Thank you, thank you." She bowed before taking a deep breath. "Do you know if he has a girlfriend?"

Your heart dropped. "Oh. Are you interested in him?"

She nodded, hands shooting to cup her cheeks. "Yes! I've been admiring him for a while. I saw this other girl give him flowers and was wondering if those two might be together. Maybe I lost my chance..."

"Oh, no. Um. They're not dating."

"Really?!"

"Yeah. Me and him are."

Her eyes grew as wide as saucers as she let out a gasp. "You?! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

You chuckled. "It's fine, really. We haven't had much time to see each other during school, so he's been without me lately. Otherwise, we hold hands sometimes."

"Aww, that's so cute! Congratulations!"

You were grateful she was such a kind girl, but it unsettled you how sought after your boyfriend really was. It made you wonder at night if he received even "closer" treatment from his female classmates. It irked you. It ate at you. It made your stomach flip to think about too much.

Your last straw came on what was supposed to be a happy day. Classes were preparing for the school festival, an event you'd been dying to participate in. If any Japanese school's festival was meant to be eye-catching, then UA's was bound to be one of--if not--the best. Midoriya had been messaging you about Eri, a child he'd saved during his internship with Pro Hero Sir Nighteye. You were relieved to hear both he and the girl were safe. He promised to make up for your worries by giving you the "best festival experience ever!"

You were really looking forward to it until the day you came over to his class while they were building their set outside. His peers invited you over to help, but it ended up being the guys encouraging you to sit and catch up with Midoriya while they handled the heavy work. Urakaka, a sweet soul, gave you a glass of lemonade along with the rest of the class.

As you two talked, a notification from Midoriya's phone made him reach for it out of his pocket. He smiled and showed it to you. "I almost forgot. Do you remember the girl who gave me flowers?"

Your lips tightened into a smile. "Yes. What about her?"

"She came by my class last week and asked for my number. I gave it to her, and we've been making great conversation! She's nice and really encouraging. And guess what? She also collects All Might figures!" He leaned forward with sparkles in his eyes. "She invited me to come to an All Might event at the mall! I didn't even know one was happening! Isn't that cool?"

"Yes, dear. Does she know you have a girlfriend?"

"Um. Not yet. The topics of our talks have been on All Might, classes, and other stuff. Not about relationships."

Without wasting a second, you set your glass of lemonade on a table, stood, and walked away.

Midoriya called your name and raced over to you, but you yanked his hand off your shoulder and continued storming away from your boyfriend. Your chest quaked as tears escaped your eyes. You wiped them away to avoid unwanted attention, though you were likely already getting it from the distancing chatter of Class 1A. Even though you should probably have let your classmates know you were turning in for the day, you stormed all the way to your room and locked yourself inside. Sobs escaped your mouth at last. Throughout the rest of the day, your phone buzzed with messages and missed calls from the green-haired boy, but you didn't have the energy nor desire to answer them. A couple classmates came to check on you, but they got the hint to give you some space after a small talk.

You knew you couldn't avoid the situation long, though. When you woke the next morning, you turned on your phone to find apology after apology from Midoriya. He begged to see you and talk, and he apologized for bringing up another girl into the conversation. You sighed and messaged for the next time he'd be available to meet privately. He messaged back immediately that he can come over to your dorm as soon as possible. You hesitated before replying that he can come over in the afternoon and sent directions to your room. He'd never been to your dorm before, but luckily, it was a weekend, and you were sure your classmates wouldn't mind him coming over after they noticed your gloomy demeanor.

Time seemed to pass in the blink of an eye while you readied yourself and your room for his arrival. A knock sounded on your door, and you opened it to find Midoriya holding a bouquet of your favorite colored flowers.

You let out a heartless laugh. "Is this one from another girl?"

He sucked in a breath of air and bit his lip. "No. This one is for you. Can I please come in and talk to you, (Y/N)-chan?"

"Sure." You stepped aside and gestured him to sit on the bed. He did so after handing over the flowers, their sweet smell tickling your nose. As much as you wanted to bury your head in his display of affection, you set the bouquet on your desk and sat next to him. "Hon, I'm sorry for walking off so suddenly yesterday, but we need to talk."

He nodded. "I know. I know what I did wrong."

"What did you do wrong?"

"I..." His eyes fell to your lap. "I kept on accepting gifts from other girls, and I let them get too close to me. I talked with Mina since she seemed to know more about relationships than I do, and she told me that...I wasn't really good at making myself look taken. She was there most of the time when those other girls came up, except for the one with the chocolates. She told me I should have rejected those gifts."

"Do you believe her?"

"I...I do, but I don't want to be mean to those girls."

"I understand. I do, really," you told him, resting one of your hands on his. "But it's not as much the fact you're accepting their gifts that makes me upset."

"It's not?"

You hiccupped and wiped your eyes with your other hand. "Whenever you tell me about these interactions, you never tell me you love me right after, or that I'm your only girl. Gifts are sweet, but letting another girl have your number AND not telling her you have a girlfriend already right off the bat is too far! You know, this one time at lunch, this girl came up to me asking if you had a girlfriend. It hurt a lot. Not because I don't think you'd be a good boyfriend, but it hurt knowing that if she were to make a move, you'd probably accept it."

Midoriya moved your hands aside and cupped your face in his hands. He kissed your tears, despite needing to wipe a few tears of his own. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I'm sorry. I'll do better, I promise. I'm sorry for hurting you so much. From now on, I'll make sure you know you're my only girl. I'll make sure the world knows. I promise. I love you, my dear."

"I love you, Izuku," you cried, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Please don't leave me for anyone else."

"Never. I promise."

He held you for a moment before pulling you away. Your lovely boyfriend wiped your tears with a gentle smile, a gesture you couldn't help but smile back at even as your face was a mess. Impatient for more of his affection, you pulled him for a kiss on the lips.

════════════════════ ⋆★⋆ ════════════════════

"Hey, did you read about that scandal Deku-kun got dragged into?" Uraraka questioned as she removed her hero gear. Her shift had finally ended, and she was more than ready to clock out of work.

Jiro shoved her jacket into her locker and yanked out her civilian backpack. "Yeah, I don't know why that one tabloid company keeps bringing up 'anonymous' accusations against him. We both know how head-over-heels he is for (Y/N). They're married, for fuck's sake."

"I can't imagine Deku-kun cheating on her. I guess we're all bound to get into a scandal of some sort since we're basically celebrity-level popular." Urakaka sighed. "I'm terrified to find out what scandal I'll get into."

Jiro bumped her shoulder with a grin. "As long as you're honest, you'll be fine! Now come on! The others are waiting for us for lunch. Kirishima texted me the address."

Urakaka changed as swiftly as she could. Then, she and Jiro got into the latter's care and drove to the restaurant. Every now and then, members of UA's former Class 1A planned a hangout for those who were available. Last time, the location was a western-styled buffet. This time, it was a casual ramen shop.

"There you two were!" Kirishima cheered, pointing his bottle of soju as the pair as they entered. "I was worried you guys would cancel last minute."

Jiro rolled her eyes, dragging an excited Uraraka into the seat beside her own. "Please, I have some manners. Pass me a bottle. I'm pooped."

"Are you sure you don't want to eat before drinking?" (Y/N) passed her a steaming bowl of ramen. "We ordered some to have them ready as you guys came. It's delicious!"

"Well, if you insist."

"Thank you, (Y/N)-chan!" Uraraka exclaimed as she started shoving her face with noodles. After swallowing, she looked around the shop. "Where's Deku-kun? He's usually here with you during our hangouts."

You chuckled. "Yeah, but he told me to go ahead of him. Have you guys seen the new issue of that one tabloid we talked about a couple days ago?"

Jiro scoffed. "Yeah. I was shocked when you sent the link in the groupchat. I got a magazine later that day before work just to make sure it was real. The audacity."

"I don't get the point of bringing up this drama," Kirishima stated with a frown. "Midoriya's so honest. If anyone were to do any cheating, it absolutely could not be him. Imagine! Midoriya, the cheater?! Japan would go insane!"

Uraraka laughed. "I think 'insane' is a bit of a stretch."

"I don't think so!"

You shook your head with a laugh at your silly friends. "Izuku saw the tabloids too. That's why he's not here with me right now. He wanted to go to the company himself and talk to the person who's making up such things."

Uraraka's jaw dropped. "Can he actually make them stop?"

You shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I think getting an earful from the Number One Hero is enough to intimidate any person out of gossip."

Just then, the shop's bell rang. All heads at the table turned to the entrance to see a built man with a bouquet of roses in one hand and a small box in the other. His eyes lit up upon seeing the group.

He rushed over to you guys, laid the items on the table, and embraced you tightly. "There's my darling! Hey guys!"

"I wanna hug too!" Kirishima pouted, Despite it being a joke, Midoriya laughed and squeezed him into a hug as well. The two were balls of positive energy even years later. After Kirishima let him go, he scanned the items. "Wow. You make me feel so single."

"I'm sorry! That wasn't my intention! I just felt so terrible after reading those tabloids; I couldn't shake my mind from (Y/N). I just had to get her something."

Uraraka held the bouquets, feeling the petals. "Remind me to never settle for a man who's less of a husband than you."

"What?! I'm just doing my best! It's nothing much!"

"It's everything, love," you reassured, kissing your husband on the cheek before opening the tiny box on the table. Upon seeing the gem, you rolled your eyes and lightly punched him. "Again with the bracelets?!"

"But this one is totally your color!" Midoriya pouted. "Try it on! Please!"

After doing so, you couldn't help but roll your eyes once more. "Okay. You didn't lie, but you still have to save your money."

He kissed your forehead. "Spending money on you is the best kind of spending."

You absolutely adored him.

Jiro tugged at your shirt. "Hey, lovebirds, why don't you guys kiss tonight and eat now? The food is getting cold."

Midoriya's face exploded red. "Sorry, sorry! Eating now!"