#but it won't be made active before I am done on this one

[izayoichan]

The future of this blog, kinda part two? (sorry for the wall of text.. again!) It's been a lot of trying to find the love for sims again for me, trying to find the fun. But I have come to the conclusion, that right now, it just is not. I have not uppdated, opened, touched the for anything but taking a couple of screenshots because I comissioned poses so I wanted to use them, or I just felt (stupidly I guess) that I had to so this blog had sims content. That is what this blog is to me, its linked with sims, the story I started creating with them, and friends that also love sims. But like mentioned, for me the fun of sims is gone. (Thank you EA, for constantly making sims worse and worse and boring to the point where it's for me just not worth spending energy on). So I will from tomorrow let what I have left of the story that's already written post twice a day until it's done. I will at the same time share all the last sims screenshots I have lying around that I have kept to myself because spoilers and me having the need to be a little secrety, and when that is all posted and ended, I will make a post with a new blog, a new start for me to find my fun again. I don't want to delete what is here, because I am actually proud of it, that I managed to share and write a story for the first time. So instead I am making a new blog, where I will post random screenshots, random things I find, reblog more stuff that I find pretty and so on. I am working on going back to streaming for fun as well, but that will take time and some effort as I want certain things, and I want to do them right and properly. (Live 2d avatars are not easy, cheap or fast to have done!) So the progress on that might be on my new blog as well, and maybe when time comes, I will have clips of sillness and me grumbling and cursing the game while I once more fail miserably at Elden Ring. Yes, I will still follow a lot of the same people, because although my relationship with sims is (for now) at an end, I still love your stories, and your little pixel figures. I am not breaking away from that, I am breaking away from my own stuff. Do I feel like I let people down, a little, but I know that's just how my brain works and that this is doing what is best for me outweighs that worry. (specially after talking to some people about it for some input, and them saying I should do what it best for me. See I am listening!) A little health update at the end, for those interrested: I am slowly doing better, new doctor and new scans have brought more understanding, more peace of mind, and I am back on most of my pain meds, which means my body is slowly stabalizing into a new place. Not quite as good as I was before "hell year" started, but also not as bad as I have been. I'll take every step in the right direction with a big smile on my face.

So for now, enjoy the sims content that will come. And when the time comes, perhaps I will be seeing a lot of you on the new page as well!

[kichiyosh1]

"I made it with you in mind"

wanderer x reader

to think he'd end up finding joy in such a childish activity

✧: he ends up being mean at the beginning but he apologizes in his own special way, slight hurt/comfort but nothing major

(I'm back ig? idk :3)

He couldn't believe the absurdity to which you and the young archon were subjecting him to.

The sins committed by the former harbinger are things he won't refute or deny. Indeed such actions musn't go unpunished, but perhaps he's underestimated the extent of the dendro archon's mercy.

Mind explaining what all of this is supposed to be?" he knows, with just a single glance, he grasped what was about to unfold, he just couldn't believe it. There displayed before his very eyes, a colorful assortment of beads lay scattered across a wooden table.

"You've dabbled in arts and crafts before, haven't you? You could say I proposed the idea to Lord kusanali as a way to keep that evil little brain of yours occupied"

'What evil is there to be done in bracelet crafting of all things, huh?' he deadpanned while simultaneously picking up a bead, examining how it reflects the light that's passing through the crystalline windows.

He let out a scoff.

"Have you forgotten who I am? A being of celestial creation, lessened to do recreational activities such as these? how amusing." Pathetic was the word he was looking for. Seriously, do you really expect him to just sit down quietly and start passing beads on a string without complaint to how this is a hit on his pride? It'd be more fitting if you locked him up for all of eternity, but this, this was just mockery.

It was the warmth of your hand that snapped him out of his thoughts. Eyes widened before squinting, but he dared not move, curious to what it was you were doing. You had started to fasten a piece of string to his wrist, gentle with your touch, measuring it so that it'd fit securely, but not too tight to be uncomfortable.

"Who gave you permission to lay your hands on me?" The warmth of your touch was strangely starting to get to him. He swatted your hand away, any more of that and he wouldn't know how to react.

Both of you were now glaring at each other. "Is it that hard for you to accept someone's act of kindness? I'm just trying to help." You could've sworn there was a slight change in his eyes when you said that, but was quickly replaced by an irritated smirk on his face. "I don't recall ever asking for your help, go give it to someone who actually needs it." He waved you off before plopping himself down on one of the stools before suddenly picking out random beads and charms like he wasn't against the idea a moment ago.

With furrowed brows and your mouth left slightly agape by his rude behavior, your face settled on a frown. You were used to the wanderer's arrogance and unpleasant attitude towards people, but there are times where even you are left puzzled. You went out of your way to make sure the activities kusanali planned out wouldn't overwhelm him, she'd ask you if you were doing this out of pity for him. You firmly shook your head.

You simply cared for him, that's all there was to it, but it didn't seem like he reciprocated the motion. The last he's heard from you was a sigh, before the sound of your footsteps slowly leaving faded.

You haven't visited him since. I mean how could you? if he was going to act like a brat while you spent your time there then might as well steer clear out of his way. No, you weren't being petty, and even if you were, you most certainly had every right to be. You nodded to yourself, justifying your actions as wanderer just being an asshat and you being the more mature one in this situation.

It wasn't easy. There were times where you would cross paths when he was on break from his duties (and bracelet crafting), or times where he himself is actively seeking you out, and before he could even call out your name, you're already making a bee line towards the exit.

You sat yourself down, exhausted from all this running around. Another successful day of not coming into contact with the wanderer.

"Doesn't he have other businesses to attend to?" If he had time to be going around looking for you then surely he was slacking off, right?

"As far as I'm concerned, you are my business." Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"So how long do you plan on avoiding me?" he was standing behind you, face leaning down above your head as you met his gaze from your position on the bench.

You put on an air of annoyance before flicking his forehead, causing him to hiss and reel back from your attack as he rubbed the spot. "Hey! you deprive me of your company for days and now you dare assault my face? you-" you were already walking away, with the esteemed wanderer quickly following closely behind you.

"Hey", he reached for your hand, but you batted it away. It was definitely worth it to see the offended look on his face, but there was a small pang in your heart when you saw how his face faltered. "Who gave you permission to lay your hands on me? don't go acting all buddy buddy with me now." you crossed your arms, throwing back what he had said to you a few days ago.

"ah, you're upset with me about last time." You kept a stern look on your face, expecting for more, but if he failed to deliver then you'd have no trouble turning away from him again.

His mouth kept opening and closing similar to that of a goldfish, but no words came out. He looks conflicted. It took him a whole minute to sort out his thoughts, and with a deep sigh he spoke.

"The way I reacted, it was uncalled for. Like you said, you were only trying to help and I should have, I, it's just the way you held my hand, it made me feel weird." his gaze turned downcast feeling a little embarrassed by getting riled up by something so minor as physical contact.

you don't know that of course, you'd just assume he was really really ticklish in some areas

Would you mind closing your eyes for a moment? I promise It'll only take a second", the soft spoken tone he's taken on is foreign to you, but not unwelcome. You were hesitant but complied. And if he does anything funny you'll make sure to write a full on report about it to kusanali.

You could only feel how he softly held your hand, how he delicately glided his dainty finger in order to tie what you assumed was a,

a bracelet?

You opened your eyes and that's when he leaned in, his soft breath near your ear "It was supposed to be a surprise gift, but an apology gift works too." your face felt warm, and your hand did too (to which he was still holding). Was this the weird feeling he was talking about.

A moment after, you examined the accessory on your wrist.

and my was it beautiful.

The main colors of the bracelet were your favorite colors, accompanied by beautiful white pearl beads and crystal flowers and cute charms. Truly something you wouldn't expect the wanderer himself to make.

You released a small laugh, happiness spreading throughout your system. "Did you really make this?" You were starting to look too happy for his liking, but of course you always looked more beautiful with a smile on your face. He scoffed in order to hide the ever creeping happiness that was also starting to spread across his face.

"Is it that hard to believe? I had you in mind when I made it after all, so if you're going to complain about its design then the person used as reference is at fault." You were just about to complain to him about him complaining that you'd not dare complain about it when he added on.

"again, I'm sorry for disregarding your help. Whether I needed it or not, I wanted to make the bracelet solely on my own so that it'd be more meaningful of a gift to give to you." This time he held your gaze, determined and truthful about what he said.

It seems you had judged him wrong, well not entirely. True he had a unique character, but that's just what made him, him. You held his hand, and the colors from earlier are returning to both of your faces. You held it there before pointing to his wrist, "It's only right I make you one as well, right? that way we'll be matching." You then intertwined your fingers. He was gonna combust.

EXTRA:

"I didn't think wanderer would be that into bracelet making" Kusanali peaked from the corner of the room. He was deeply concentrating on what he was doing and she did not want to disturb. "A little peek into that mind of his wouldn't hurt". After using her skill, a flurry of thoughts from wanderer flood her mind.

'Is this too much? or maybe too little? is [y/n] a minimalist or a maximalist?'

'This reminds me of you, this one too, and this one.'

'This charm is cute, like you. Wait no you're most definitely more cuter'

'this bracelet should be honored to be worn by you'

'maybe i'll make you a necklace next'

'I hope you'll like it'

[river-taxbird]

Have YOU got an old Windows PC Microsoft has told you can't run Windows 11? It's time to give it a new life!

How to install Windows 11 on unsupported PC Hardware using Rufus. You can also disable some other Windows 11 bullshit like data harvesting and needing a Microsoft account.

It has been in the news a lot lately that Windows 11 isn't allowed to be installed on PCs without certain requirements, including the TPM 2.0, a chip that was only included in PCs made in 2018 or later. This means that once Windows 10 stops receiving security updates, those PCs will not be able to (officially) run a safe, updated version of Windows anymore. This has led to an estimated 240 million PCs bound for the landfill. Thanks Microsoft! I get you don't want to be seen as the insecure one, but creating this much waste can't be the solution.

(I know nerds, Linux is a thing. I love you but we are not having that conversation. If you want to use Linux on an old PC you are already doing it and you don't need to tell me about it. People need Windows for all sorts of reasons that Linux won't cut.)

So lately I have been helping some under privileged teens get set up with PCs. Their school was giving away their old lab computers, and these kids would usually have no chance to afford even a basic computer. They had their hard drives pulled so I have been setting them up with SSDs, but the question was, what to do about the operating system? So I looked into it and I found out there IS actually a way to bypass Microsoft's system requirement and put Windows 11 on PCs as old as 2010.

You will need: Rufus: An open source ISO burning tool.

A Windows 11 ISO: Available from Microsoft.

A USB Flash Drive, at least 16GB.

A working PC to make the ISO, and a PC from 2018 or older you want to install Windows 11 on.

Here is the guide I used, but I will put it in my own words as well.

Download your Windows 11 ISO, and plug in your USB drive. It will be erased, so don't have anything valuable on it. Run Rufus, select your USB drive in the Device window, and select your Windows 11 ISO with the Select button. (There is supposed to be a feature in Rufus to download your ISO but I couldn't get it to work.?

Choose standard windows installation, and follow the screenshot for your settings. Once you are done that, press Start, and then the magic happens. Another window pops up allowing you to remove the system requirements, the need for a microsoft account, and turn off data collecting. Just click the options you want, and press ok to write your iso to a drive.

From there you just need to use the USB drive to install windows. I won't go into details here, but here are some resources if you don't know how to do it.

Boot your PC from a USB Drive

Install Windows 11 from USB Drive

If you had a licensed copy of Windows 10, Windows 11 will already be licensed. If you don't, then perhaps you can use some kind of... Activation Scripts for Microsoft software, that will allow you to activate them. Of course I cannot link such tools here. So there you go, now you can save a PC made from before 2018 from the landfill, and maybe give it to a deserving teen in the process. The more we can extend the lives of technology and keep it out of the trash, the better.

Additional note: This removes the requirement for having 4GB Minimum of RAM, but I think that requirement should honestly be higher. Windows 11 will be unusable slow on any system with below 8GB of RAM. 8GB is the minimum I think you should have before trying this but it still really not enough for modern use outside of light web and office work. I wouldn't recommend trying this on anything with 4GB or less. I am honestly shocked they are still selling brand new Windows 11 PCs with 4GB of ram. If you're not sure how much RAM you have, you can find out in the performance tab of Task Manager in Windows, if you click the More Details icon on the bottom right. If you don't have enough, RAM for old systems is super cheap and widely available so it would definitely be worth upgrading if you have a ram starved machine you'd like to give a new life.

[penkura]

My friend and I have been talking about the idea of Law ending up with a partner who's scared of Doctors/hospitals. Either as a general fear or they had a past of being used as a lab rat. Think it makes an interesting dynamic

I agree greatly! It would be so very interesting to see Law with an SO who is afraid of doctors or hospitals.

Law would notice something is up when you first join the Heart Pirates and hear that he's a doctor. You suddenly quiet and look worried about it, but he doesn't bring anything up at first. White coat syndrome and fear of doctors in general is common enough, he's not hurt by it or anything. He expects you'll move past it as you spend time with him and the crew, coming to realize they aren't going to hurt you or anything, you'll just have routine check ups when it's time and help you through any illnesses.

But when you start to avoid any check ups, even the most basic ones to just make sure you're doing well, Law knows there's something else and he's almost afraid to ask. His worries for you get worse when you actively fight him and Shachi one day when he's trying to check on a wound you got during a fight against another pirate crew. When he merely mentions possible stitches and sees how your eyes widen, he knows there's something very wrong. The fact you start crying, shoving him and Shachi away, telling them not to touch you. Law's about to tell Shachi you need to be sedated so he can check your wound before the red head takes your wrists gently in his hands and gets eye level with you.

"Shh, it's okay, I promise. Captain won't hurt you, he'd never do anything to cause you pain unless it was absolutely necessary. No one's going to hurt you, I promise."

Shachi keeps talking to you until your eyes start to close and you've slumped forward into his arms, Law wondering for a moment if you've worn yourself out before he sees Penguin’s sedated you like he'd originally wanted. It might make you more upset to know they'd done that without fully asking, but it's better so Law can check your wound and you fight him if you do need stitches.

He doesn't ask anything nor does Shachi tell him what's going on yet, not until he's checked you over and your wound is covered. You made it with no stitches, it wasn't that deep in the end.

"What--"

"She was used for medical experiments by some people who said they were doctors. They weren't, they just lied to her, took her to a fake hospital and all that, but..." Shachi sighs a bit, shaking his head and scratching the back of his neck, "She's trying, Captain, she's just scared--"

"Of doctors," Law nods while Shachi looks down, you're still asleep, and it feels weird to talk about you while you're unconscious, "because people lied to her, she doesn't trust me since I am one."

"But she does, Law, she likes you and she trusts you. She needs more time, and help, to know that everything is okay."

Law stays with you after Shachi leaves to give help Hakugan with something else. His first worry was medical negligence had scared you away from doctors, but knowing you'd been lied to and treated like a science experiment angered him. Not knowing about it until now made him believe you didn't trust him enough to tell him, but he wants to change that.

He'll have to apologize for your sudden sedation after you wake up, but at least you weren't too badly harmed during the fight. He's going to do what he can to help you believe that he won't hurt you just because he's a doctor.

(I might have to come back to this later, who knows. 👀)

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen eat their s/o's cooking

cw: food mentions

requested by anon >_< i am a Softie so u can bet that all of these r ridiculously fluffy

masterlist

seungcheol, mingyu, chan

insists on setting the table like you're about to have a whole-ass michelin star dinner, with candles and fancy crystal glasses and a heavy tablecloth and everything, because in his eyes, your cooking is worthy of only the best presentation and delicate table setting. offers to help cook every time, and when you vehemently deny his help and tell him to just sit there and look pretty until you're done, he can't help but chuckle at your seriousness and the utter assuredness you command in the kitchen. gazes at you across the table with such fond eyes, the candlelight making you appear even more ethereal, because he's just so in awe that he has the privilege of being loved like this by someone as incredible as you

jeonghan, seungkwan, vernon

clasps his hands together over the tabletop and watches you cook the entire time, alternating between talking about the most random things and just sitting there and peering interestedly as you chop vegetables and sauté onions. he is wholeheartedly supporting you, and treats the entire dinner like some sort of couple bonding activity, where he asks you about your day and how you made everything. it's his way of showing his interest, and he Will finish his plate along with a second portion, insisting that your cooking is just that good. and it really, really is, partly because you always let him pick the menu, and partly because it's cooked by you

wonwoo, woozi, minghao

you wait on tenterhooks for his verdict bc he always has the most serious food critic face on when he's tasting your cooking. and when he delicately wipes his mouth and gives you an approving nod, you can't help the way you beam in happiness and relief every single time. despite the food critic face, however, deep down you know that he's going to inhale practically all of his plate in one go, because there's something so sweet about you cooking for him, where he gets to relax and swing his legs over on the island chairs and watch u prepare everything for him. won't let you cook all the time, though. because you're still his sweet darling and he should be the one to pamper you the most

joshua, junhui, dokyeom, hoshi

has barely taken half a bite before he's gasping and his eyes are going wide and he's declaring that it's the best thing he's ever had, hands down, gordon ramsay be damned, you're the best chef in the entire world. you slap him on the arm for his exaggeration, laughing, and eventually he relents and tells you incredibly genuinely what his thoughts are. he really does love your food, though, and he will Not stop praising it for the entire night until you're all shy and blushing and practically shoving food into his mouth to get him to stop. clears away the dishes afterwards, insisting that you've done enough work so why don’t you take out that cake from the fridge and relax and let him take care of the washing up for u baby, okay?

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @hanniehaee @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.5 K Warnings: None Prompt: What will happen as you walk inside the snake pit? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 43: Sympathy for the Devil

You appeared in a large hall. Their invitation turned into a paper heron, flew out of your hands and up in the air before blowing up into small little gold specks, a rather elaborate spell for an invitation, which easily showed the amount of time and money the Rosiers had put into their party. Evan’s father, Arkalis Rosier, was a relevant political figure in the British Ministry, so it made sense. 

He was basically the main aid of Harold Mitchum (the current minister) and was actively looking to secure the position in the next election. He was also an ambassador for the Ministry and had met your father during some of his trips, although he had already heard from him since he was close to Orion and your father and Orion went way back. 

Either way, if this party was part of his quest to secure his position in the 1980s election, he was definitely doing a fine job at pampering his guests with bright and colourful tricks, among luxuries. You couldn’t say much about the food, but the small snack table displayed near the far corner of the room looked mouthwatering. 

“Silas! You made it,” said a man as he approached your father. You swallowed, he looked exactly like Evan, except older, and with a thick scar across his left eye, which looked glassy instead of dark green as the other one. 

“Of course. Arkalis, we wouldn’t have missed it for anything,” your mother responded with a bright smile and extended her hand towards him. She did always tend to shine in social situations; shiny grin, elegant manners, and incredibly persuasive stance, she managed to make every single person feel at ease when she was around. You sometimes wondered if it was because of the fairy bIood, running much thicker through their veins or because she had learned, and adapted to your father’s needs. 

The fairy bIood made sense, after all, the fae were known for their lavish parties and alluring abilities to humans and wizards alike. 

Your father extended his hand and shook the man’s hand, who promptly turned to you. “This must be your daughter.” 

You extended your hand politely, channeling a similar energy to your mother’s, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Rosier, I am–” 

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty of you,” he said with a smile. You swallowed. “Horace told me about the time he teamed you up with Evan on potions, he mentioned you had done a delightful job.” 

“Right,” you added as you relaxed. 

“Darling, you didn’t tell us you were friends with Evan,” your mom intervened, looking at you softly.

“I didn’t?” you asked nonchalantly. “Must have forgotten,” you shrugged it off. “You know how busy it’s been since I got to the new school, with all the classes and adapting and meeting new people, new teachers and so forth.”

“Of course, of course,” intervened Arkalis. “The young girl is right, you cannot expect her to tell you every single thing.” 

Well, at least he’s nicer than his child, you thought as you looked at Arkalis and nodded in agreement. Your father, who clearly thought you befriending Evan would be an excellent political advantage was looking at you with a rather stern face. Holding back from speaking but not quite hiding his feelings completely. You pouted in return and continued nodding along with Arkalis.

Eventually, Arkalis had to go and your father grabbed your arm, gently pulling you to him and whispering through gritted teeth, “You didn’t think it would be clever to tell us you are friends with his son?” 

“I am so far from being friends with Evan Rosier I might as well be on a different planet entirely,” you responded as you tried to shake his hand off. Even though he had grabbed onto you gently, the fact that he had done it was upsetting, especially with how much it reminded you of being manhandled by Barty and his gang. 

Your father huffed and let your arm go, you pulled it back and gave him a rather defiant look, “What? Don’t tell me I now must also make friends that are politically convenient to your career?” 

“It wouldn’t hurt if you did.” 

You looked at the ground bitterly, remembering the bruises on your neck and the scraping on your knee and the splinching you had gotten on that November moon, then turning back to him with a calm expression, “Wouldn’t it?” 

“Darling,” your mom intervened, pulling your father from you by hooking her arm with his, “It’s the Sallows, let’s greet them,” she added, your father’s gaze softened for a second, as if he could see through your brave façade, but he turned back to your mother shortly after, and walked along with her to greet the other family.  

Right, go, who gives a fuck anyway, you thought bitterly as you took off in another direction, straight to that food table that had caught your eye a few minutes ago. You picked one of the small bruschettas and took a small bite of it as you looked through the window. Smoked Salmon, you realised as you savoured it. Outside, the sun was starting to set, the gardens were vast and covered by a thick layer of snow, and there was some kind of hedge maze that appeared to be surrounding the property. Perhaps with several spells to keep the muggles away from their house. It was actually rather clever. 

There were a few crows perched on the hedges, black and contrasting with the layer of snow as they picked out something from their branches. While they gave the outside a rather ominous look, it also kind of made sense, considering the heritage of the Rosiers. Some people thought they were related to the eldest Peverell brother, in fact, you had heard rumours of Arkalis looking for the Deathly Hallows, even if most people considered them nothing more than fantasies. 

“What are you doing here?” a scolding voice asked. 

You turned around hastily to find Regulus leaning against the table with a sneaky smirk in his mouth. You sighed, “Godric, Reggie!”

His smile widened and he shrugged, “Fancy seeing you, I spotted your parents earlier, imagined you’d be here too.” 

“Well you’re as clever as sneaky, congratulations!” you said before taking another bite of your bruschetta, it was delicious. 

“You shouldn’t be here though,” he added in a more serious tone, “I overheard my parents talking about–” 

And then it happened, the two large doors at the entrance of the hall snapped open and a man walked inside, making the most dramatic entrance you had ever seen in your life –and you were dating Sirius Black. He looked about as old as Arkalis, except this man was much better looking, not to say Arkalis was ugly –then again, you might have been biased because you despised his son.

Regardless, something about the man was oddly familiar, he had dark hair arranged in a perfectly put-together hairstyle that swooped in a rather elegant way. He was wearing dark wizard robes, although vintage looking, clearly expensive since the material flowed with a cadence that only the finest fabrics could match. He had a charming smile plastered across his delicate features as he approached Arkalis, easily greeting him like an old friend. 

You watched with curiosity, the room seemed awfully silent since he walked in, there weren’t even whispers, Regulus had gone quiet too, as if they knew the man, as if they feared him. You looked at him again, at the elegant curve of his handsome nose and that’s when you knew who he was. You pictured him with a robe, darker lighting, in a blurry photo somewhere in the Daily Prophet that insisted on avoiding the subject. 

“It’s Voldemort,” you whispered as you swallowed thickly, in absolute disbelief of what was going on around you.

You’d expect someone to scream, someone to pull out their wand or at least someone to apparate the hell away, but everyone seemed perfectly fine with the fact that the self-proclaimed dark lord had just busted the party like some sort of Maleficent from the sleeping beauty. 

“Reggie, do you know who that–” 

He shook his head in response, not because he was responding to your question, but rather in a warning manner, clearly telling you to remain as silent as the rest of the people in the room. You gave him a look combined with a sigh and you saw his jaw tighten as he nodded his head. Another warning. Whatever was about to happen, couldn’t be good. You were in the middle of what could possibly a tеrrorist attack–

Except you weren’t.

“Tom, a pleasure to have you here already,” Arkalis said, approaching the taller man with a bright smile, as bright as the one he had greeted your dad with. No, brighter actually. 

It took 10 seconds of the following exchange for you to realise that you weren’t in the middle of a tеrrorist attack but rather that you were at their dinner party. 

Does my father even know? You wondered, and then you spotted him amiably talking to Orion, who seemed as relaxed as possible with the entrance of the Dark Lord into Arkalis’ party. Of course he did, you thought as you tried to hold back a scoff. 

You looked around carefully, not a single wizard seemed perturbed by the situation, not a single one had raised their wands against the man. Even Reggie looked relatively at ease as he witnessed the entire exchange, as if he had seen something similar happen before, that’s when the eerie thought crept up: He has seen this before. And of course, he had, he was the perfect child, polar opposite of Sirius. When you met him he was always scared of doing something that could enrage his parents, terrified of their reaction to him even thinking the wrong thing. 

While Sirius had rebelled against his parents, Regulus had set out to be the ideal child, following their orders to protect himself from the wrath his brother often faced. His survival mechanism was to be the perfect Black child, and if his parents were Dark Wizards then he would have to become one too, at least until he was old enough to flee. 

You looked at him with a pained expression, feeling the same way you had when you figured that he hadn’t been the one to tell on you, but rather been forced to do it, life had been unfair to him then, and was being unfair to him now. And you had no idea if you could even find a way to help him. It was in moments like that, when you realised how much he was like Sirius, both trapped, just in different ways. 

But then again, were you any different? Weren’t you also at the party talking to dark wizards like they were any other influential person in society? Weren’t you standing there, like every single other person, looking at the interaction without raising your wand? 

Of course, you didn’t stand a chance in a duel against the Dark Lord, but wouldn’t the right thing be to try? Wasn’t that what you had been training to do? No, that’s not it either. You remembered a conversation you’d had with Nightshade before you started training, she had said you were talented, but that wasn’t the end of it, your father’s contacts were a key factor here. If you managed to gather enough information tonight, perhaps then you could use that information against them in the future. 

In the end, you’d do what your father has asked you to do from the very start, play the role of the perfect little politician’s daughter, smile and nod and charm people in the same way your mother did often, all in the simple effort to get something useful out of their head’s tonight. You took a deep breath, all that occlumency you had been practising would be more necessary than it had ever been. 

“Excellent, why don’t we eat now?” Tom asked with a charming smile, “I believe you have a surprise prepared for later tonight.”

Evil doesn´t always look the part, you thought as you stared at him, he had a charisma similar to that of your mother, if a little sinister. He walked alongside Arkalis, who was quickly joined by his wife Astoria Rosier, an elegant, fair-haired woman that looked far younger than she could possibly be. Orion and your father followed next, along with a few other people whom you hadn’t identified yet. 

“Not everyone will dine with them I assume?” you said turning to Regulus. 

He shook his head in response, “Only some of us will.” 

“Of course,” you said with a nod, you too were expected to sit on the same table as them. 

You walked alongside Regulus and a few more people towards one of the doors, you saw Evan joining their parents. Barty was at the party too, you had spotted him in the distance earlier, but it seemed he wasn’t going to be part of the few selected, since he had stayed where he was, talking to a girl whom you didn’t recognize from school, but that oddly reminded you of your boyfriend. 

When you reached the table inside the private dining room, you realised the seats had been tagged for everyone. Tom, as Arkalis kept calling the most evil wizard alive, had taken the head of the table while the host, and unsurprisingly, Orion, had taken the two seats next to him. Your father was right next to Orion and there was a rather young man with pale blond hair, as long as Lily’s but completely straight. He couldn’t have been much older than you, he looked in his early twenties at most, a child. 

Your mother was close to your father, Astoria and Walburga right next to her. From there, there was a stern-looking man who you didn’t recognize and a curly-haired woman who looked about as unhinged as Barty. It was your position on the table that you found dire, you were sitting across from your mother and in between the long-haired blond, who looked displeased by having you sitting there instead of someone else and none other than Evan Rosier. When you saw his name next to yours on the small floating name tags, you had to bite your tongue to avoid the displeased sigh that was just about to escape your mouth. 

When you sat down, the small paper with your name displayed on it disappeared, and on your plate appeared a fresh-looking salad. Evan sat down beside you a couple of minutes afterwards. 

“Evan,” you greeted with a tight smile and a simple nod. Yes, you had to play a part, that didn’t mean you’d have to be best friends with Evan Rosier for the night. Why was Regulus so damn far away? You swore he was about the one other person in this entire party with whom you’d actually want to be sitting and there were about seven other people in between the two of you. You took a deep breath and turned to your salad as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire dining room, perking your ears when you heard Orion speak again. 

They mentioned something regarding the salad being fresh, which you thought was the most philistine compliment someone could ever give, and then they started going on about the weather. Apparently, it had been an abnormally cold winter in England this year. And while White Christmas’ weren’t uncommon, they were a lot more rare than they had been in the past few years. 

You heard your mother say something about global warming to Walburga, who seemed puzzled as if she had never heard the term in her life, which in hindsight she might not have since she lived in her own little pure-bIood wizard bubble and tended to stay the hell away from muggle news. Your parents always knew what was happening with the muggles, they thought it was important to stay informed to be able to maintain the relationships between the muggle world and the wizarding world as forthcoming as possible. 

You stabbed a small piece of tomato and brought it to your mouth as you thought of how stupidly prosaic the small talk of dark wizards was. Were they holding back because it was a Christmas dinner? Were they all going to pretend Voldemort wasn’t sitting at the head of the table, eating the same boring salad as the rest of you? 

How did they even manage to accomplish all their evil deeds if they were just talking about the scores of the latest quidditch championships? Okay, that was Evan talking with whoever was sitting beside him, but still.  These people were supposed to be the most dangerous wizards on the planet and yet they were–

“So tell me, how is the little errand I asked for going?” Asked Tom. 

There it is, you thought as you sat a little straighter and paid closer attention to their conversation. By now the salad had disappeared and there was a broccoli soup sitting across from you, the taste was actually pretty good, quite cheesy. Apparently, cheese was the right choice no matter how morally diverse the audience you were hosting was. Although, you weren’t sure their audience really was all that morally diverse, except for you and perhaps Regulus. 

“Excellent,” Arkalis responded as he turned to Tom, he looked awfully pleased with himself. “They’re downstairs, waiting for the show.” 

Tom took a spoon of his soup and then smiled. You saw a snake slowly creeping up his chair, and he seemed awfully comfortable around her when he noticed. The snake hissed and he said something back to her. He speaks parseltongue. 

Now, that might not be new information for Dumbledore, but it was to you. The Daily Prophet didn’t talk about all the skills the Dark Lord had honed through the years. It’s ridiculous, you thought. What if someone tried to use serpensortia against him and got killed by their own spell? Of course, someone who thought that spell was enough to go against Voldemort was going to get killed later on anyway. Regardless, it should already be common knowledge what he was good and bad at. 

“Good, I suppose we’ll be enjoying the spectacle when the dinner’s done?”

“Indeed,” Orion said this time around. “Things must be prepared for the ceremony.” 

Ceremony? What fucking ceremony? You thought as you took another spoon of your soup. You tried to keep your eyes on it, as if not to seem like you were prying. 

“Is the soup really that interesting to you?”  

Godricbedamned, not now fuckface, you thought as you turned around to Evan, “It’s really good, actually. More interesting than you and your friend gushing about your quidditch crushes for sure.” 

The blond man next to you, whom you had now learned was Lucius, snorted when he heard your reply while Evan clenched his jaw and looked at his parents nervously, as if trying to make sure he hadn’t caught your exchange. You followed his gaze and then turned back to look at him with a slight smirk. So that was a low blow then?  You thought as you recalled, he had only talked about male players with his other friend. 

Oh, it’s because Daddy doesn’t know. Better leave the subject behind. You weren’t planning to out him, no matter how much of an asshole he continued to be, even if last time he had actually gotten Severus off your back. Speaking of him, it was a delight not to have to see his long face around, looks like his family didn’t make the cut to be invited to the pit of snakes you were currently in. 

“At least I have someone that’s interested in talking to me.” 

“If I was interested in talking, I’d have already struck a conversation Evan, not all of us are eager to say every single thing that comes to mind.” 

“You wish.” 

You hmphed at that and turned your head to the other side, “Lucius, would you mind passing me the salt?” you asked politely. He turned to you a little confused at first, as if he was surprised you had talked to him and then nodded, handing over the salt to you an instant later. “Thank you. Your shoes are very elegant, by the way.” 

Lucius seemed both surprised and pleased that you had noticed his shoes. They were impeccable like he had either bought them for this event or had them cleaned and polished. He had walked with slow decision as he approached the table earlier, and when you spotted his shoes, you realised why he was being as careful with them as he had been with his hair throughout the night.  This man cared about looking good. 

“Oh, thank you,” he said with a smile. “I got them custom-made by a very elegant designer, you might have heard of him, Alistar Shoman.” 

Gotcha! 

“You’re telling me that’s a pair of Shomans? That’s incredible.” 

Lucius seemed pretty pleased with the conversation, you threw a side glance at Evan who just scoffed and turned to speak to his friend again, all the while you looked at Lucius and pretended the history of the Shoman company was the most interesting thing in the world. Perhaps it was just slightly more interesting than the broccoli soup. 

Then you heard your name drop from Orion’s mouth and you turned to him with the most polite expression you could muster. 

Fuck. You had been paying so much attention to Lucius’ stupid talk to prove Evan wrong that you had missed the one bit of relevant information they had been talking about, and now they were calling you for some reason. What a miserable spy you would make. 

“Yes, Mr. Black?” You asked. 

“We were just talking about the fact that we’ve been so busy that we haven’t been able to go watch the Quidditch Matches recently, but we’ve been told they have been outstandingly interesting.” 

You felt the tension in his voice, they probably knew you had sought against Regulus in the Slytherin vs Gryffindor Match. 

“They have been,” you said with a nod. “Quidditch is certainly something intense at Hogwarts, all of the teams are incredibly capable. It certainly has been a challenge to be able to keep up with my position.” 

Orion laughed at that, “Such modesty.” 

You swallowed, unsure how to respond to that but with a small smile. “Slughorn told me you were one of the most promising players,” added Arkalis. “Some teams are already considering you…” 

That actually caught you by surprise, you loved quidditch, but you had never actually considered making a career out of it. Lucius turned to you with newfound interest, as if now that he knew what you were capable of you had become actually interesting to him, beyond whatever fashion talk you had held earlier. It was hard to hold the urge to glare at him for it. 

“I’m sure all of the players in this table are as good as me, or even better,” you said, thinking of Regulus, and playing your role of clever guest, even if you had given Evan a compliment with it. It wasn’t a lie, Evan was a good chaser, but he was also a total asshole. 

“And yet, your team won in the last match,” Arkalis said, making sure to look down on his son as he spoke the last line. 

You didn’t turn your gaze to Evan but you could tell he had lowered his gaze from the little you saw in the corner of your eyes. No wonder the boy was like he was, his father was even worse than him. You felt a little pity towards Evan, even if you still disliked him thoroughly. 

You decided driving the conversation to a different subject would be the best thing to do before things got even more tense. “How did you meet Professor Slughorn?” you asked, managing to have a genuinely curious look on your face as you did. 

“We studied with him,” replied Tom, turning to look at you with a chill-inducing smirk, both charming and dangerous at the same time. He definitely had that cult-leader vibe going for him, no wonder so many people were so eager to follow him, it wasn’t just because he was powerful or because of their shared hate towards muggles, most of the men in the room shared those 2 characteristics. The one thing that made the difference was how much more charming this man was in comparison. “We were both in the Slug Club too, weren’t we, Arkalis?” 

Arkalis hummed in response, “Indeed, he used to say Tom was the most brilliant student he ever taught.” 

“He likes playing favourites,” you added with a smile. 

“He does indeed,” agreed Arkalis, and eyed his son again, his gaze reproachful and thunderous. “He told me you and Evan made an excellent team.” 

You remembered that day and tried not to shudder at the thought of Evan’s hand squeezing your injury, “Right we did,” you said as you placed your hand on his shoulder, making sure to dig your nails enough to make him uncomfortable. “He’s delightful to work with,” somehow you managed to make that sound honest rather than sarcastic. “He’s especially good at measuring and mixing.” 

Arkalis seemed pleased with your praising of his son, and you thought they might start talking more the more pleased he was, especially since his wine wasn’t refilling fast enough. In fact, every single person in the room seemed to be drinking moderately, as if they were trying to keep their heads clear for whatever surprise they were talking about earlier. 

“We’ve been friends ever since, haven’t we Ev?” you added with a charming smile.

“Right,” Evan added, “Best friends.” 

Arkalis seemed pleased with the response, your father still looked irritated over the fact that you hadn’t told him about your friendship with Evan, even more so since he thought you lied to him earlier when you said you and Evan were light years away from becoming friends. The rest of the table seemed to buy your lie, except for Regulus who was looking at you with a rather anxious look on his face. While he didn’t know everything Evan had done to you, he had a pretty good idea of some of the things based on things he had heard at the Slytherin table. 

You smiled shortly and then someone who you didn’t recognize said something to Arkalis and drew the conversation away from the two of you. Evan leaned over, “What the hell are you playing at?” he asked. 

“I’m playing my role as a nice guest, how about you play the one of a nice host and we pretend we don’t hate each other’s guts for the night?” you retorted. “Your father seemed pleased enough about our friendship or whatever.” 

“You shouldn’t have come tonight.” 

“As if I wanted to,” you scoffed and turned back to listening to the adult’s conversation, they were now going on about the Ministry of Magic. They mentioned something about how he was now doing exactly what he was meant to do and you felt chills run down your spine when you spotted Voldemort’s smile. 

The Ministry is on his hands, no wonder there is no news about him on the daily prophet. Just how many deatheaters are out there? All infiltrated on normal day jobs and working towards making the world a much darker place… the idea was horrifying, and yet everyone at the table seemed incredibly pleased with it. 

Eventually, you finished dinner, Tom was the first one to stand and he said something about it being time for a show. At this point, you dreaded finding out whatever the hell was his idea of entertainment, from what you’d heard, it couldn’t have been good. 

You were on your way towards the exit, trying to find Regulus again when Arkalis walked beside you and offered you his arm, “Darling, would you mind talking to me for a second?” he asked, using a charm similar, but not nearly as masterful as the one Voldemort had. 

You looked around trying to find Regulus, of course, Arkalis had asked, but the way he had said it was enough for you to know that it wasn’t actually an option to say ‘no’. Reggie was a few feet from you and he sent you another anxious glance before Orion intercepted him. 

“Sure, of course,” you replied as you felt Arkalis’ hand over your shoulder, urging you for an answer, you hooked your hand in his and followed him to a different room, completely missing the absolutely terrified look on Evan’s face. 

“How may I be of help to you, Mr. Rosier?” You asked calmly, whatever reason Arkalis had to bring you to the library, it was not intending to hurt you, at least you hoped it wasn’t. And the chances were low since it would be a very stupid decision to make considering who your father was, and how close he seemed to be to Orion, who, you had concluded, was closer to Voldemort than Arkalis, even if they had studied together. 

Whether you liked it or not, your parents’ connection to Orion Black, was the reason you were safe in this party. 

“You’re friends with Evan, correct?”

You heard a shuffling at the end of the room, turning to look but finding nothing, you narrowed your eyes in that direction only for a second before turning back to Arkalis, he didn’t look like an overly patient man, “Indeed.” 

“Excellent,” he said with a nod and then smiled, a smile so warm and kind that you might have bought his good intentions if you hadn’t been deterred by the thing that left his mouth afterwards, “You would tell me if he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing, right?” 

Like threatening to throw me off the astronomy tower, choke me and throw me off my broom along with his boyfriend? Sure, you thought. 

“Something he shouldn’t be doing?” You played dumb, that seemed to always do the trick for people like Arkalis. 

“I’ve heard some rumours about my son.” 

Rumours? You wondered. Whatever the hell is he–

“People have been saying he’s really close to a boy in school.” 

“Evan has many friends,” you responded, just now guessing what Arkalis could mean. 

“Closer than that,” he told you. “It’s a… deviation that happens to muggle men often?” 

Fucking hell, you thought when you realised what he meant. Arkalis wants to know if Evan is gay, but the way he approached the subject, using the words “deviation” and “muggle” with such derision.  You tilted your head slightly, trying not to look offended by his homophobia. 

“I’m not sure I understand, Sir, Evan has many friends.” 

“I mean, does he have a boyfriend?” Arkalis asked. 

There it is. You played surprised at that. You heard another movement on the side, “Oh, Merlin no!” you said surprised. “I would definitely know if Evan had a boyfriend,” you said, trying to sound as confident as possible. It wasn’t completely a lie, you did know. 

Then you felt Arkalis trying to prickle at your mind, looking for something, inside of it, the truth, you realised. And then you gave him what he wanted to see. You used every single ounce of mental power to conjure up one image and one image only. Evan pushing you against the railing of the Astronomy tower, hand in your throat and leaning onto you, the same way it had happened then except, there was no one else, and rather than lean over to threaten you, Evan was leaning over to kiss you. 

You tried to hold your thoughts of disgust at the image being projected on your mind as much as possible, but you knew that, at least that scene, would get Arkalis off of Evan’s back for a while. 

No, you didn’t like Evan, you’d go as far as to say that you hated his guts, but no matter how much hate you harboured for the blond, you would never out him, let alone to a clearly abusive and homophobic father like Arkalis. Take it as the good deed of the day, you thought as you used memories of kisses with Sirius to make the scene more realistic. 

Eventually, Arkalis stopped digging inside your mind and you felt relief wash over you, allowing the horrifying image of kissing Evan Rosier to dissolve. Arkalis pulled back with a pleased smile. “What a deceptive little thing,” he said as he looked at you with a smirk and grabbed onto your jaw to pull your head up slightly. You gave him an innocent look in return, as if you had no idea what he was talking about. 

Does he know I’m trying to trick him? Did he notice?, you wondered as you moved your hand towards your dress pocket to try and find your wand. 

“Pardon?” You asked meekly. 

“We all thought you were dating Orion’s eldest son,” he said Sirius’ name with scorn, and you had the urge to spit on his face, you somehow managed to hold back.  

“I am dating Sirius,” you replied with an innocent frown, voice still soft, still playing a part, Arkalis had to think you had no idea he had dug inside your mind. 

His smile just widened, “Of course, my bad,” he said with a smile and pulled his hand away from your face. “If you see Evan tell him I’m proud of him. He’s got a good eye for women.” 

You swallowed thickly but managed to give him a confused nod in response. It was meant to be a compliment, and yet it made you want to puke, you definitely did not like Arkalis better than you did Evan. You didn’t even like him better than you liked Barty. 

“Uhm… of course, Sir,” you replied, still playing dumb, his smile grew wider and he bowed his head before exiting the room. 

When he was gone you allowed yourself to sigh, shutting your eyes as you thought over everything that had happened. And then you felt a hand in your arm, gripping tightly, just like he had back in potions class. 

“What the hell was that about?” Evan asked from behind, he looked absolutely baffled. 

“Oh, Evan, you were the one eavesdropping then,” you replied with a sigh and shoved your arm to try and pry his hands off of it. So fucking handsy, you thought as you remembered his father’s stupid hands on your jaw. “Do you mind?” 

Evan seemed just as puzzled and slightly angry now too, and while he didn’t let go of you entirely, he did loosen his grip, which you were thankful for. “Why did you–? What the hell did you tell my father?” 

“You know, the right way to express what you’re feeling right now is to say thank you,” you replied annoyed, you hadn’t saved his ass for him to be a total asshole about it. 

He finally let your arm go completely and passed a hand through his hair, “What I mean to say is, you know about me and Barty, you could have told him, gotten rid of the two of us in an instant, my father would have probably sent me abroad to some other school if he found out and yet you… made him assume I like a woman?” 

You sighed, “Look, Evan. I don’t like you, okay? You’ve been an asshole to me from the fucking start and frankly, I wish I could beat the fuck out of you sometimes, but there are lines that I’m not willing to cross. No matter how much of an asshole you are, I would never out someone just because I dislike them, let alone to someone like your father.” And then you scoffed, “Muggle-deviation, fucking hell, just say gay.”  

Evan was speechless after that, he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what he should say or if he even should. Perhaps he really should thank you for covering for him, but even that would feel empty. What you had done might have been one of the nicest things anyone had done for him in his entire life, but how could an enemy be the one to do that? 

“I– I mean I–” 

You sighed again, “Just… leave it,” you said and left the room, and an incredibly confused Evan inside of it. 

Evan disliked you, he disliked you for throwing a Quaffle on Barty’s face and breaking his beautiful nose, he hated you for being a know-it-all, he hated you for being good at quidditch and he hated you for being such a self-righteous prick who considered herself better than him. He hated you for constantly teasing Barty and Mulciber and Snape, he hated you for how reckless you were and for picking up fights with people who were bigger and stronger without backing down from them. And his whole idea of you was crumbling down because he wasn’t sure he would have done the same thing in your position. If he knew how to destroy you, would he have hesitated? 

Would he have saved you too?

Evan sank to the floor and started to cry, he wasn’t sure if the thick salty drops falling from his eyes were from angry or relieved tears. He didn’t know why he was crying, he just knew he couldn’t stop. The complexity of his emotions churned within him. You had the power to vanish him, you could have told his dad and the one bit of happiness he’d found would have been gone in an instant. He wouldn’t have seen Barty ever again. 

Did you even know how much you had done for him in that 5-minute talk you’d had with Arkalis? 

Years of hiding, years of being careful, years of feeling like he was wrong, and that what he liked was poisonous, deserving of mistreatment and scorn, years of dreading his father finding something, anything that could out him. All gone in a small little chat, where you barely even fucking spoke. The smile Arkalis had made, the relief in his eyes –the acceptance– that made Evan want to cry even more. Because no matter how great he was, no matter how perfect he was, he would never, ever be truly accepted by his father. Never would he make him as happy as you had by implying to him he liked a girl. 

He was miserable, and out of all people, you had been the one to make his sorrow, even if it was just slightly, less painful, less burdensome and less suffocating. 

Yet, despite the relief, Evan couldn't shake the lingering bitterness that consumed him. He resented you for knowing his weak spot, and yet, beneath the layer of resentment and anger, there was a tiny ember of gratitude, a flicker of acknowledgement for the unexpected reprieve you had granted him. As he sat there, tears staining his cheeks, he wasn’t sure he could continue hating you anymore. 

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A/N: This might be one of my favourite chapters to write. I really like those emotionally charged scenes, but you've probably already noticed. Also, even antagonistic characters have feelings and boy, do some of them run deep... Poor Evan (I told you guys I did like the Slytherin boys, but the rivalry still exists. Even if, to their different points of view, the villain might just be, well: us. Love, Lils xx

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[pubbamoon]

Random Astrology Observation 3

Hi and welcome to my another random astrology observation. I like this series, 'cause I have a free will to choose any placement to discuss about and I hope you do like it too. This observation might be related to both Western and Vedic astrology. Take it as it resonates and leave what does not resonate with you. Cool, we can start now!

Whoever natives have aspect between Mercury and Neptune, I feel sorry for these people, especially if they still go to school. Mercury is about learning, while Neptune is about illusions, so these people may not see things clearly or they can't communicate effectively. They can have a hard time processing informations and they may interpret things way more different than other students/people. Because of that, they might seem stupid or blunt to others, which may not be the case. Believe me, I have Mercury conjunct Neptune in my natal chart and although I can be creative and intuitive with this placement, I also have a hard time with having a conversations with the people who are close to me, because I interpret informations differently, which makes it seem that I don't listen to them at all.

Transit Pluto has been placed in Aquarius since January this year and we already see its influence in this sign. Some people from the upper class and even celebrities are exposed for their shady things they have done in the past, since Pluto represents exposing the truth, while Aquarius is about collectives, revolutions, changes for a higher good etc. In Vedic astrology, this pattern can be seen by the transit Saturn in Shatabhisha nakshatra in Aquarius, 'cause Saturn represents punishment and Shatabhisha nakshatra is about the hidden things we don't see or we don't even know about. This transit was relevant at the beginning of this year.

Speaking of transit Pluto in Aquarius, since this planet has been placed in my natal 1st house, I started to experience many spiritual awakenings and transformations I don't think I've ever experienced before. I actually had the spiritual awakening somewhere in 2018/19, when transit Pluto was conjuncting my natal Venus in Capricorn and Venus is my 9th house ruler in my natal chart, which is the house of spirituality. I cannot imagine what would happen to me when the transit Pluto will tightly conjunct my natal Ascendant.

In the context of predictions through transit, it's always important to see if some transit planet is currently aspecting your natal planets, not just looking in which your natal house the transit planet is placed. For example, I'll use the transit Jupiter in Gemini. For Sagittarius Rising natives, they've mostly heard that this transit planet is going to be in their natal 7th house of long-term relationships and marriage, which might be the flourishing time for this native if they want to find a new partner. But if they have a Saturn in Gemini in their natal chart, forming a conjunction aspect with the transit Jupiter, it's not going to be very well, because Saturn is about restrictions and hardships. If some of these natives don't have any planets in their 7th house, it's crucial then to look for their 7th house ruler, Mercury. If Mercury, as their 7th house ruler, is placed in Libra and forms a trine aspect with the transit Jupiter, then they can expect some new love to come into their lives.

Overall, that would be everything for today. This will be one of the shortest observations I've ever made, but I hope you won't mind it. The reason why it took me so long to make another post is that I've become busy in my private life. Because I don't have much time for astrology, my personal paid readings will be closed on July 19, 2024 at 10:26 AM UTC, but I'll still be active and make astrology posts here on Tumblr. So, if someone wants to book a reading with me, you can do that until July 19 this year. I hope my readings will be open as soon as possible, but I can't promise you anything so far. Regardless, I wish you all had a beautiful day ahead.

Best regards,

Paky McGee

[busket]

I've been seeing posts discussing the terms MTF and FTM saying stuff like "that's how cis people understand our experience, not trans people" or "what do you mean female to male, I've never been female" and I think that's a totally valid stance to have, but I take issue with the implication that those terms should be done away with entirely and that no one can relate to them.

personally, I do believe I was a woman before I transitioned. I lived as a woman, I believed I was a woman, I told people I was a woman. I did all the same when I came out as nonbinary, and I do all the same now that im a man. I don't consider these stages in my life to be any less real. Just because I'm a man now doesn't mean I wasn't a woman then, and just because i was a woman then doesn't make me any less of a man now. I don't relate to the notion that I have a true gender, inherent to my soul. maybe someday I won't be a man, and that's okay. this is all my own life, something that only I know for myself.

honestly I wonder if some trans people feel the need to say "I was never my birth gender" to validate their experience to cis people. you can't be a faker if you've known this all your life. but some trans people, like me, do not share that experience. I doubted if I was a trans man because I didn't relate to it. I find more truth in the term "ftm" than I do to "afab" because the latter defines me now by something that happened to me at my birth, and not an active process I am undergoing and a set of choices I've made to bring joy into my life.

and truly we will never find a set of terms that resonates with everyone, because every single person has a different experience with their gender and not one is more or less correct than another. I'm no less of a man than a trans man who knew all his life he was a man and we are both no less men than a cis man who was born a man and lived his whole life as a man. everyone is different and everyone is going to find truth in different acronyms, and some of us just simply aren't meant to be defined.

[apathetic-revenant]

uh...hi?

[head pokes around corner]

so...

I've been back to scrolling around on tumblr for a bit now, and have been really wanting to get back to actually, y'know. being here. posting. not just sort of hanging here invisibly like a mournful ghost, observing but never interacting. that sort of thing. (revenants, after all, are supposed to be corporeal undead.)

but I really wanted to explain why I just kind of abruptly vanished in the first place. no one demanded this of me, but it felt like something I had to do. and then, in the typical way of self-imposed obstacles, it became a massive stumbling block. partly because of the nerves and emotions attached to it, sure, but mostly, tbh, because it was a Task. I recently (about 3 weeks ago now?) started seeing a new psychiatrist and got an adjustment to my ADHD meds which basically made my brain boot up again for the first time in way too long. this is great! but it means I am having to kind of slowly rehab my brain into getting used to doing Literally Anything again, one small step at a time. I am not being hyperbolic when I say I had to gradually build up my executive functioning for a while just to be able to write a tumblr post.

but fuck it! I really wanted to just do this already. so, while I'm sure I'll talk about all this in more detail later, for right now I'm gonna strip this down to the bare essentials just so I can get it done at all.

here's what happened:

in 2020 I had a sudden onset of extremely severe OCD.

no, not about the pandemic, actually. yeah I was anxious about the pandemic but it was a pretty normal level of anxiety for a global pandemic, honestly. my OCD took the form of scrupulosity--essentially, an obsessive worry about being a bad person.

tumblr is....not a GREAT place to be if you have a sudden obsessive fear of being a bad person.

now, to be clear: tumblr did not CAUSE my OCD, and leaving tumblr did not cure it. that's just not how OCD works. later on, I learned that atypical antipsychotics--one of which I had been prescribed around that time, for depression--have been known to cause OCD. is there any way to prove that that's what happened? probably not, at this point! so I've just been kind of sitting with that terrible knowledge for a while.

anyway. I would've had OCD anyway, but reading a regular stream of posts going "hey, here's a really terrible thing you might be doing! you might even be doing it without knowing it! you need to think really hard and be constantly vigilant all the time for any sign that you might be doing this thing!" was basically pouring gasoline on the fire.

I never made an active decision to leave tumblr--if I had I would've said something first. I just kind of thought "god, I can't do this right now" one day and didn't open the app, which turned into days and then weeks and then months, and still things weren't getting better.

it's hard to express exactly how harrowing that whole experience was. actually I just started thinking about it and realized I would never finish this post tonight if I tried to get into it just now. so I won't. let's just say: It Was Bad.

but, by an astronomical stroke of luck, I ended up getting referred to not just an OCD therapist, not just the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid, but the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid and also she was really good at her job. I genuinely think that woman saved my life.

OCD therapy is one of those "the only way out is through" kind of things. it's brutal and also quite surreal, but it has a high success rate and is very effective. OCD is not a thing that you can cure, per se, but it went from completely dominating every waking moment of my life to being something that I occasionally have to yell at in much the same way as when the cat starts knocking things off my desk at 3 in the morning.

but, the thing was, it took a year-and-a-bit before my therapist and I agreed that I had probably "graduated" as she put it. so, by the time I felt able to go back on tumblr without my brain catching on fire again, it had been so long that I didn't know how to do it. I felt like I'd pulled a major dick move by just dropping off without saying anything. I still thought about it (usually late at night, at Time To Think About Every Regret I've Ever Had O'Clock) but my brain very easily goes to a place of "well, no one would really notice or care that I was gone, and if they did they'd be mad at me for having left."

well. earlier this year I started on the road to getting past that idea. shoutout to @fordtato for helping with that, btw.

but it took me a while to work up the courage and then, as previously mentioned, even longer to work up the neurotransmitters.

I think I gotta wrap this up for now cause I don't have much concentration juice left. but, for what it's worth: I had a lot of emotions, coming back and seeing the names of people I used to talk to all the time. I don't know how you feel about me anymore, but I really missed yall. I would like to talk to you again.

[lynnuvo]

Golden Retriever's Leash

Characters: Midoriya Izuku x Female (Y/N)

If there's one thing anyone knows about Midoriya Izuku, it was that he was the sweetest boy in all of UA. His kindness and seemingly never-ending flow of support played a great part in your romantic interest in him, after all. Fueled by his oblivious encouragement, you surprised Midoriya with a date consisting of some of his favorite activities and merch to ask him out. He was a blushing mess and cried on the spot, sputtering acceptance between sobs. After being bullied for years and being fixated on his quirkless or now-quirk-filled body, he hadn't expected anyone to see him in such a light.

But the truth was that more than a couple did. You just happened to have the balls to get to him first.

It was unfortunate you weren't in his class. After learning about what happened at the Unforeseen Simulation Joint (USJ), you were quick to ask for his number that day in the cafeteria. His classmates' gushing made your insides swirl, but you continued, telling Midoriya you wanted to learn more about him. He--with a face as red as a tomato--happily gave it to you. Since then, you both messaged pretty often and went on a few hangouts outside of school. With trouble brewing about with villains, however, Midoriya had been messaging less, and you two haven't gotten to hang out as much.

Your classmates and even some students outside of class gushed about how lucky you were to have Midoriya by your side, but you knew there were at least a few that were jealous. Or at least you guessed. Though you displayed confidence about the security of your relationship to your friends, a part of you was anxious about him losing feelings. This was especially so now that he lived in a dorm with his entire class.

One day, you were leaving class when you heard your name being called. You turned to the right to find Midoriya in his school uniform, with his tie still not properly done, rushing over to you. His smile was beaming so hard, you would have been blinded if it were possible.

"Midoriya-kun, nice to see you," you greeted with a smile, ignoring the gushes of your friends as they hurried to leave you alone with your lover. "It's not often you come all the way to my class. What's up?"

"Oh--uh--I just missed you is all," he replied with a blush. One of his hands grasped yours. "It's been so hectic lately. I was thinking maybe...seeing you would make my day better. Can I walk you back to your dorm?"

You chuckled. "Better yet, why don't we go sit in the courtyard? I missed you too. Let's talk before we have to go back!'

"Really?! That'd be great! Yes please!"

You both headed to his dorm for your spontaneous date. His classmates waved upon noticing your presence, and a couple of the girls made noises that sent Midoriya into a blushing mess. His class has met you a few times, all of which you managed to squeeze in free time to be somewhere around them. Most of their welcoming aura, however, likely resulted due to Midoriya sharing cute pictures of you to them and gushing about how in love he was. At least, that was what you knew according to Mina Ashido.

Once you both settled on a bench, you stretched your arms. "Ah, it feels good to hang out again. Are you busy this afternoon?"

His smile fell a bit. "I am, unfortunately. I was hoping to ask you on a date, but I need to prepare for my Provisional Hero License Exam. It's really important."

"I know it's important to you, love. I don't know what hero would exist without one," you chuckled, ruffling his fluffy green hair. You reached into your bag and pulled out a bento box and a pair of chopsticks. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to finish the leftovers from lunch. Would you like to try some?"

"I'm okay, don't worry! You don't have much left, so you should eat them all."

"It's fine. You won't hurt me by trying my cooking again."

"I wouldn't want you to go hungry later because of that one scoop though. Oh! Hold on! I almost forgot!"

Your boyfriend dug through his backpack and withdrew a box of chocolates with an adorable red bow wrapped around it. As he undid it, he explained, "I was visiting the grocery store the other day when I ran into a student here at UA in their uniform still. I don't know why they were outside UA in their uniform since it's especially dangerous, considering the USJ attack. I was in my civilian clothes because of that. Maybe they were running a quick errand before heading back to the dorms? Um. Anyway, she saw me and ran away almost immediately. I was freaking out and wondered if I did something to offend her that badly, but then she came back while I was at the register with this box. She said she just bought it and wanted to give it to me."

The excitement you had for the chocolates faded away the more he spoke. Maintaining a smile the best you could, you took a piece of chocolate he offered and asked, "Why did she give you chocolates?"

"She said it was because I was cool and thought it could help me relax," he answered with a slight blush. You'd learned a long while ago that his blushes were prone to emotions of different kinds, but your stomach churned despite your brain acknowledging he was probably just flustered at the praise. "I said thanks and thought about giving it to you."

"Awww, that's...so sweet, love." You ate the chocolate and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for thinking about me, but it doesn't feel right for me to eat something meant for you."

He frowned. "Please? Do you not like it?"

"Oh, no! It's delicious. I just...."

"If you like it, don't hesitate to eat. Pretty please? I'll try your leftovers in exchange for you eating some more chocolate."

You rolled your eyes with a smile. "I just can't resist an offer like that from you, can I?"

The two of you spent the rest of the hour you had together chatting about classes and what else has been going on in your lives. It didn't take long to finish eating, and you both decided to conclude your meeting then. Once you both parted, your mind returned to the girl who gifted your lover the chocolates. Even as you tried to fall asleep, your heart was heavy while your mind conjured up different scenarios that endangered your relationship. Although you doubted that Midoriya would ever betray you, security wasn't set in stone. You two have been together for less than a year, and people could be unpredictable.

A few weeks went by. You and Midoriya privately celebrated the acquisition of his new license by enjoying dinner at a restaurant. The boy was all nerves, a cute sight. He'd never been on a date until he met you. Despite having been on several since then, a meal in a dimly lit, fancy location set such a romantic tone. You both shared a gentle kiss at the end of the night. Things were looking up for you two.

Until Midoriya came up to you with another gift from a girl.

And another.

One was flowers and another was an All Might keychain, both to celebrate his accomplishments thus far. Now, you didn't like thinking of yourself as the jealous type. It was smarter to acknowledge that those gifts were likely given with his well intent. But what bothered you was that not only was Midoriya not reassuring you, but he was also clearly oblivious. Despite knowing you needed to either talk to him or figure out how to dissolve your emotional conflict yourself, you opted for the second. It'd be less embarrassing for him to not know this side of you.

What made you sad upon thinking about it shifted into agitation when you were approached by a girl in one of the Support classes. You had just finished a mathematics test. After a night of cramming information, all you wanted to do was go to your room and take a fat nap. Alas, lunch was in the way, but you could use some energy. While you were in line, she tapped you on her shoulder.

"Excuse me, I hope this isn't too invasive to ask, but do you and Midoriya-san know each other personally?" she questioned, twiddling her fingers. "I've seen you two talk in the halls a couple times; that's why I ask."

You nodded. "Uh--yes. How come?"

"Well, I was wondering...um...sorry this is embarrassing."

You smiled and ushered her in front of you. She didn't have a lunch box and didn't reject your indirect offer to enter the line. "It's okay. You can tell me."

"Thank you, thank you." She bowed before taking a deep breath. "Do you know if he has a girlfriend?"

Your heart dropped. "Oh. Are you interested in him?"

She nodded, hands shooting to cup her cheeks. "Yes! I've been admiring him for a while. I saw this other girl give him flowers and was wondering if those two might be together. Maybe I lost my chance..."

"Oh, no. Um. They're not dating."

"Really?!"

"Yeah. Me and him are."

Her eyes grew as wide as saucers as she let out a gasp. "You?! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

You chuckled. "It's fine, really. We haven't had much time to see each other during school, so he's been without me lately. Otherwise, we hold hands sometimes."

"Aww, that's so cute! Congratulations!"

You were grateful she was such a kind girl, but it unsettled you how sought after your boyfriend really was. It made you wonder at night if he received even "closer" treatment from his female classmates. It irked you. It ate at you. It made your stomach flip to think about too much.

Your last straw came on what was supposed to be a happy day. Classes were preparing for the school festival, an event you'd been dying to participate in. If any Japanese school's festival was meant to be eye-catching, then UA's was bound to be one of--if not--the best. Midoriya had been messaging you about Eri, a child he'd saved during his internship with Pro Hero Sir Nighteye. You were relieved to hear both he and the girl were safe. He promised to make up for your worries by giving you the "best festival experience ever!"

You were really looking forward to it until the day you came over to his class while they were building their set outside. His peers invited you over to help, but it ended up being the guys encouraging you to sit and catch up with Midoriya while they handled the heavy work. Urakaka, a sweet soul, gave you a glass of lemonade along with the rest of the class.

As you two talked, a notification from Midoriya's phone made him reach for it out of his pocket. He smiled and showed it to you. "I almost forgot. Do you remember the girl who gave me flowers?"

Your lips tightened into a smile. "Yes. What about her?"

"She came by my class last week and asked for my number. I gave it to her, and we've been making great conversation! She's nice and really encouraging. And guess what? She also collects All Might figures!" He leaned forward with sparkles in his eyes. "She invited me to come to an All Might event at the mall! I didn't even know one was happening! Isn't that cool?"

"Yes, dear. Does she know you have a girlfriend?"

"Um. Not yet. The topics of our talks have been on All Might, classes, and other stuff. Not about relationships."

Without wasting a second, you set your glass of lemonade on a table, stood, and walked away.

Midoriya called your name and raced over to you, but you yanked his hand off your shoulder and continued storming away from your boyfriend. Your chest quaked as tears escaped your eyes. You wiped them away to avoid unwanted attention, though you were likely already getting it from the distancing chatter of Class 1A. Even though you should probably have let your classmates know you were turning in for the day, you stormed all the way to your room and locked yourself inside. Sobs escaped your mouth at last. Throughout the rest of the day, your phone buzzed with messages and missed calls from the green-haired boy, but you didn't have the energy nor desire to answer them. A couple classmates came to check on you, but they got the hint to give you some space after a small talk.

You knew you couldn't avoid the situation long, though. When you woke the next morning, you turned on your phone to find apology after apology from Midoriya. He begged to see you and talk, and he apologized for bringing up another girl into the conversation. You sighed and messaged for the next time he'd be available to meet privately. He messaged back immediately that he can come over to your dorm as soon as possible. You hesitated before replying that he can come over in the afternoon and sent directions to your room. He'd never been to your dorm before, but luckily, it was a weekend, and you were sure your classmates wouldn't mind him coming over after they noticed your gloomy demeanor.

Time seemed to pass in the blink of an eye while you readied yourself and your room for his arrival. A knock sounded on your door, and you opened it to find Midoriya holding a bouquet of your favorite colored flowers.

You let out a heartless laugh. "Is this one from another girl?"

He sucked in a breath of air and bit his lip. "No. This one is for you. Can I please come in and talk to you, (Y/N)-chan?"

"Sure." You stepped aside and gestured him to sit on the bed. He did so after handing over the flowers, their sweet smell tickling your nose. As much as you wanted to bury your head in his display of affection, you set the bouquet on your desk and sat next to him. "Hon, I'm sorry for walking off so suddenly yesterday, but we need to talk."

He nodded. "I know. I know what I did wrong."

"What did you do wrong?"

"I..." His eyes fell to your lap. "I kept on accepting gifts from other girls, and I let them get too close to me. I talked with Mina since she seemed to know more about relationships than I do, and she told me that...I wasn't really good at making myself look taken. She was there most of the time when those other girls came up, except for the one with the chocolates. She told me I should have rejected those gifts."

"Do you believe her?"

"I...I do, but I don't want to be mean to those girls."

"I understand. I do, really," you told him, resting one of your hands on his. "But it's not as much the fact you're accepting their gifts that makes me upset."

"It's not?"

You hiccupped and wiped your eyes with your other hand. "Whenever you tell me about these interactions, you never tell me you love me right after, or that I'm your only girl. Gifts are sweet, but letting another girl have your number AND not telling her you have a girlfriend already right off the bat is too far! You know, this one time at lunch, this girl came up to me asking if you had a girlfriend. It hurt a lot. Not because I don't think you'd be a good boyfriend, but it hurt knowing that if she were to make a move, you'd probably accept it."

Midoriya moved your hands aside and cupped your face in his hands. He kissed your tears, despite needing to wipe a few tears of his own. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I'm sorry. I'll do better, I promise. I'm sorry for hurting you so much. From now on, I'll make sure you know you're my only girl. I'll make sure the world knows. I promise. I love you, my dear."

"I love you, Izuku," you cried, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Please don't leave me for anyone else."

"Never. I promise."

He held you for a moment before pulling you away. Your lovely boyfriend wiped your tears with a gentle smile, a gesture you couldn't help but smile back at even as your face was a mess. Impatient for more of his affection, you pulled him for a kiss on the lips.

════════════════════ ⋆★⋆ ════════════════════

"Hey, did you read about that scandal Deku-kun got dragged into?" Uraraka questioned as she removed her hero gear. Her shift had finally ended, and she was more than ready to clock out of work.

Jiro shoved her jacket into her locker and yanked out her civilian backpack. "Yeah, I don't know why that one tabloid company keeps bringing up 'anonymous' accusations against him. We both know how head-over-heels he is for (Y/N). They're married, for fuck's sake."

"I can't imagine Deku-kun cheating on her. I guess we're all bound to get into a scandal of some sort since we're basically celebrity-level popular." Urakaka sighed. "I'm terrified to find out what scandal I'll get into."

Jiro bumped her shoulder with a grin. "As long as you're honest, you'll be fine! Now come on! The others are waiting for us for lunch. Kirishima texted me the address."

Urakaka changed as swiftly as she could. Then, she and Jiro got into the latter's care and drove to the restaurant. Every now and then, members of UA's former Class 1A planned a hangout for those who were available. Last time, the location was a western-styled buffet. This time, it was a casual ramen shop.

"There you two were!" Kirishima cheered, pointing his bottle of soju as the pair as they entered. "I was worried you guys would cancel last minute."

Jiro rolled her eyes, dragging an excited Uraraka into the seat beside her own. "Please, I have some manners. Pass me a bottle. I'm pooped."

"Are you sure you don't want to eat before drinking?" (Y/N) passed her a steaming bowl of ramen. "We ordered some to have them ready as you guys came. It's delicious!"

"Well, if you insist."

"Thank you, (Y/N)-chan!" Uraraka exclaimed as she started shoving her face with noodles. After swallowing, she looked around the shop. "Where's Deku-kun? He's usually here with you during our hangouts."

You chuckled. "Yeah, but he told me to go ahead of him. Have you guys seen the new issue of that one tabloid we talked about a couple days ago?"

Jiro scoffed. "Yeah. I was shocked when you sent the link in the groupchat. I got a magazine later that day before work just to make sure it was real. The audacity."

"I don't get the point of bringing up this drama," Kirishima stated with a frown. "Midoriya's so honest. If anyone were to do any cheating, it absolutely could not be him. Imagine! Midoriya, the cheater?! Japan would go insane!"

Uraraka laughed. "I think 'insane' is a bit of a stretch."

"I don't think so!"

You shook your head with a laugh at your silly friends. "Izuku saw the tabloids too. That's why he's not here with me right now. He wanted to go to the company himself and talk to the person who's making up such things."

Uraraka's jaw dropped. "Can he actually make them stop?"

You shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I think getting an earful from the Number One Hero is enough to intimidate any person out of gossip."

Just then, the shop's bell rang. All heads at the table turned to the entrance to see a built man with a bouquet of roses in one hand and a small box in the other. His eyes lit up upon seeing the group.

He rushed over to you guys, laid the items on the table, and embraced you tightly. "There's my darling! Hey guys!"

"I wanna hug too!" Kirishima pouted, Despite it being a joke, Midoriya laughed and squeezed him into a hug as well. The two were balls of positive energy even years later. After Kirishima let him go, he scanned the items. "Wow. You make me feel so single."

"I'm sorry! That wasn't my intention! I just felt so terrible after reading those tabloids; I couldn't shake my mind from (Y/N). I just had to get her something."

Uraraka held the bouquets, feeling the petals. "Remind me to never settle for a man who's less of a husband than you."

"What?! I'm just doing my best! It's nothing much!"

"It's everything, love," you reassured, kissing your husband on the cheek before opening the tiny box on the table. Upon seeing the gem, you rolled your eyes and lightly punched him. "Again with the bracelets?!"

"But this one is totally your color!" Midoriya pouted. "Try it on! Please!"

After doing so, you couldn't help but roll your eyes once more. "Okay. You didn't lie, but you still have to save your money."

He kissed your forehead. "Spending money on you is the best kind of spending."

You absolutely adored him.

Jiro tugged at your shirt. "Hey, lovebirds, why don't you guys kiss tonight and eat now? The food is getting cold."

Midoriya's face exploded red. "Sorry, sorry! Eating now!"

[honeytonedhottie]

trusting and betting on urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🫧

keep promises that u make to urself : just like how if u know someone who continuously makes promises to do something, yet they never act upon it, you won't trust that person or believe them if they promise u something else. this is also the same with urself. ur new years resolutions? ur goals that you've had for a while but never ever did? all those promises that you've made to yourself and the ones that you haven't followed up on will lessen trust with urself. do what u say you'll do. "stand on business" and if u know that u won't be able to deliver or do what u say you would, dont say it. dont tell urself promises that u won't be able to keep. once u start keeping ur own promises, you'll start to build trust within urself.

hold yourself accountable : just a quick disclaimer but when i say holding urself accountable i do NOT mean punishing urself!! when u find urself falling into old and fruitless patterns you need to hold urself accountable and make sure that u straighten up. the thing about our relationship with self is that a relationship needs BOUNDARIES. you need to set boundaries with urself. what will u or what will u not do? ur non-negotiables?

and when u find urself crossing boundaries within yourself take the BIGGEST step back. the key to forming a healthy relationship with urself is to balance being strict and gentle with urself. strict in the sense that ur the only one that can get u to where u wanna be, and gentle in the sense that ur best won't look the same every single day and u should also listen to urself and what u want, without having to compromise on ur boundaries. kind of finding that middle line is important, bcuz when we're too lenient with ourselves, we get too comfortable and that leads me into my next point...

where growth begins : u cannot expect to grow if ur too comfortable and honestly, this is why most people stay stagnant. its bcuz being comfortable FEELS GOOD. but growth will almost never happen when ur comfortable, on the contrary growth can only happen outside of ur comfort zone. if u want better things for urself, ur simply gonna have to DO BETTER.

the importance of ur self concept : even if ur not familiar with or u dont practice conscious manifesting/law of assumption, i think that working on ur self concept can still be such a fruitful thing to do. i say this because self concept is the way that u view urself in relation to ur desires/goals. its seeing urself as worthy and powerful, and truly grasping ur potential to do great things. a way to start with ur self concept is with affirmations! start telling urself about urself in a positive connotation. you're unstoppable <3

putting it into practice : start small, challenge urself a little bit every day. do one hard thing a day, doing so will build ur confidence bcuz u won't be so daunted by ur big goals when you've already done so many hard things. when u see something challenging instead of thinking "oh i can't do this" you'll have confidence in urself and what u are capable of. oftentimes when we have goals, we kick ourselves out of rooms before we've even tried to get in them bcuz we think "im not good enough" or "im not worthy" which isnt true at ALL. dont shoot urself in the foot. thats self sabotage. and thats not hot.

motivating urself : if u remind urself of your "why" then you'll have reason to stay consistent and truly try. i recommend asking urself the tougher questions, like "what do i want out of my life?" or "am i truly happy and if not what can i do to get there?" once you've decided what u want out of life make a VISION BOARD and actively pursue your dreams. u can't actively pursue something if u dont know what it is. so i advise u to remind urself whenever u feel that u need it of your "why", your driving cause. having that motivation, and actively pursuing and keeping the promises that u make to urself -> will then build ur confidence in yourself to the point where your betting on urself bcuz u know that no matter what cards you are dealt, you'll prosper.

so just to wrap things up, an overview ; start keeping ur promises -> be strict -> get comfy being uncomfy -> say ur self concept affirmations -> apply -> remind

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 21 thoughts:

Well that was sure a turn around from last arc's "I'm going to rally the students so I don't get captured."

I know my daughter has made some . . . mistakes, but I'm not a fan of her turning herself into the openly corrupted and also bad at their job parahuman cops.

(Parahuman cops as in "cops who police parahumans" not "cops who are parahumans")

Like look, I get it. A precog told her to cut ties. I can't say it's wrong to follow that advice. But she could do that in a lot of ways that don't involve the PRT.

The second not from Dinah just being "I'm sorry" is brutal.

But before she can turn herself in she has to absolutely fucking crush the PRT/Protectorate for outing her civilian identity.

I love how fucking simple taking out the entire PRT headquarters was for Skitter and her girlfriends!

Who needs anyone else? Bitch brings muscle, Tattletale brings information, Skitter brings battlefield control. Lesbian polycule power activate!

Was it an overboard response? Maybe. Was it badass how she just took out so many heroes and PRT troops with ease? Yes.

Poor Dovetail has one of the most embarrassing introductions ever. First time we see her and Skitter is wiping the floor with her and thinking about her "crummy power".

God I hate Tagg so much that he makes me miss Piggot. Like she was absolutely terrible, but he's worse! And making me miss Piggot makes me hate Tagg even more!

Kindly old cemetery groundskeeper who doesn't pay much attention to the news! Never a bad trope.

They gave Butcher 15 to Cherish???!? Like sure they give all the reasoning for it but like ... it just seems like a really high risk situation. If she ever gets out it's going to suck. A lot.

THE SCENE AT RACHEL'S PLACE OH MY GOD!

SHE IS BUILDING A COMMUNITY! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

Rachel just over here finding everyone like her and giving them a place. Legit crying. Look at that fucking growth!

(Also shout-out to my wife for having basically done the same thing. It's how I met her. It's how I met one of my girlfriends. And so many other important people. So ya. I fucking love this.)

Also you ever like a girl so much you try to give her an entire planet? Cause Taylor sure has.

"Rachel I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone so you can basically have this whole other planet we found."

GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Imp let Regent take control of her . . . welp. Like, I'm not really surprised by this. And in a different situation I wouldn't even really find it that weird. I'd do it with the right person. But combination of age and the situation they are in and Regent being Regent annnnnd ya. Welp.

I did love how much of the interactions between Skitter and Regent/Imp really was just her struggling with parenting two teenage supervillains.

IT'S NOT SO EASY, IS IT CHILD?!? MAYBE YOU'LL CUT ME SOME SLACK AND LISTEN TO MY ADVICE IN THE FUTURE!

(She won't)

I fucking LOVE that she made the bible themed hero kneel. Absolutely fucking amazing.

Oh shiiit, Skitter just flat dropped that guy multiple stories. Is she going to far?

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

Damn, Valefor sure has some fucked up powers, I wonder what they're gonna do abou-

. . .

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

. . .

Yep.

. . .

. . . I think I preferred when she just used a knife.

So anyway

Not a fan of Taylor having more alone time with Brian (not because I have any issue with the idea, but because I think she needs to be focusing on her girlfriends), but I am a fan of her using bugs to clean her dress and fix her hair afterwords while Brian just kinda sits there and has to contemplate what he has gotten himself into. Queen shit.

Flechette was SO mad that Parian wasn't "cute" anymore, I couldn't stop laughing. Sure, she said "You had to take the playfulness away? The joy?" but we all know what she meant. Of course, it's won't take very long for the new costume to get Flechette's attention. (I have to mention that this is basically exactly what I said when reading the scene, and the interlude a few chapters later just proved me right.)

Flechette is just so hopelessly gay

Miss Militia is actually getting very mild respect from me right now. Like, she's still working for the cops but she is actually agreeing to silently push against some things. Now, she says she doesn't have more power then that but she is a very well known hero and if she would publicly speak out about certain things there is a decent chance she could do more. That would of course be putting her position at risk though. Which is why she only gets very mild respect right now.

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T JUST GET TO SEE TATTLETALE'S MURDER WALL, I GOT TO SEE HER ENTIRE MURDER ROOM!

Fucking multiple bulletin boards with threads connecting them. Everything color coded. Reference numbers to files with more details. Multiple TV screens, computer with constant information dump. God. It's like a literal representation of the inside of my mind while I read Worm. SO MANY THINGS TO FIGURE OUT!

I love a lot of characters, but Tattletale always stays near the top. She gets me.

And from the fucking joy of getting to see that setup I come crashing the fuck down.

Like, I have completely figured out at this point that Skitter is turning herself in. I know what is coming. She's had her moment with everyone else and Tattletale is the last one.

And then. Then just . .

No goodbyes.

😭😭😭😭😭

HOW DARE THIS BOOK MAKE ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS!! I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS!

I do find it hysterical that the PRT officers working the front lobby don't all recognize Skitter on sight. Fucking gas station employees will manage to keep track of people with pictures on the "bad check" board, you'd think the PRT could manage to have their officers keep track of the face of one of the most well know villains in the country, if not the world, who also controls their city. PRT is forever bad at their job.

That one guy did notice her eventually though, so I guess he gets to be employee of the month.

The Number Man interlude thoughts:

The inside of this mans mind is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen and the constant reminder of the horrible things he is helping Cauldron do to all their prisoners was very helpful because it was the only thing keeping me from deciding that The Number Man is a perfect soul that can do no wrong.

I have no illusions here. I am weak. This man is a monster and I should not have any trouble remembering that.

But fuck shit fuck oh god fuck I don't even need him to touch me. I just need him to TALK to me. I just need him to get high with me and let me pick apart how his mind works!

He understood numbers, and through them, he understood everything.

That line. Absolute killer. Fucking take me.

. . . anyway yes it's a very interesting interlude!

Loved seeing more of the inner workings of Cauldron

I very much want to see the final level of their basement that only the Doctor goes into because I said that I thought Cauldron had a dead (for values of dead that are non-definable) higher dimensional being in their basement back during arc 15 and now I know for sure that there is something down there. I wanna know if I was right!

Oh my god he was friends with Jack

"Friends"

Look I make everything gay ok? It's not my choice! Sure it means I get to enjoy every tiny bit of Wolfspider and Chatterbug cause I see all of it. But it also means I see the ships I don't want to think about!

I men what was I supposed to think when Jack said “We can live this. Together. Every waking second…”?

Gay

Parian interlude thoughts:

And speaking of gay!

Fucking Flechette just full blown "Fuck all of this I want you to tell me what to do for the rest of my life!"

Full U-Haul lesbian.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

This is Parian's new costume having an effect.

Just so gay. I love it.

Also Bitch just so fucking ready to break Skitter out. So fucking gay.

And the incredible loyalty, which is gonna hurt if she ends up feeling betrayed by Skitter.

Still gay though.

Tattletale, basically without powers, just completely giving Accord the "fuck off, we're in charge" was amazing. All she had to do was promise to consider his binders and he was all in. This poor man just wants somebody to read his ideas! He's like a aspiring screenwriter just begging people to read his script.

[xxsycamore]

Ok third one. I'm way too enthusiastic for this sorry💀

Napo + masturbation

what if i told you i have a fic about this in my drafts that is only written up to the actual masturbation part but i kind of scrapped it because i made him too lonely to the part where it looked sad just straight-up lonely and jorking it HAHAH i messed up the vibe and it needs reworking and i hate doing that ! but maybe someday.

Napoleon + masturbation

I'd say Napoleon isn't much of the regular jerking-off type. Although he listens and caters to his body's needs - he sleeps to his heart's content without much care, he cooks his own food whenever he feels like it, eats crepes to his heart's content, takes mind-clearing rides at any time he needs them. He's still getting used to having so much time for himself in his hands. He might find himself rushing to get done with his shower and have a sudden realization like wait, I can rub one out, I'm not hurrying for anywhere.

Would he take things slow and enjoy himself? Probably. I think he has those lazy moods where he'd be all in for edging himself and exploring sexual fantasies, but at the same time, he's also someone who can't sit still for longer periods of time. We know he finds quite a lot of activities to keep himself busy with, from helping with the chores at the mansion (tending to the stables too) to teaching kids at his and Isaac's école, to (probably daily) fencing exercises with Jean, to giving bodyguard gigs at balls. So I think he keeps the balance with being lazy in the mornings, claiming some time to appreciate this luxury that he now has. He's grumpy, being woken up by some resident who nudges his shoulder and then takes five steps back to shield themselves from his kissing habits. They shout something at him and leave, and Napoleon now has to fight the urge of going back to sleep, on his own.

A healthy young man such as him, it won't be surprising if his cock is awake long before sleep releases its grip on his mind... it makes him restless as he turns on his back, clicking his tongue at no one in particular, sleepy jade eyes opening to stare at the ceiling... soon his hand travels south to give his cock a firm tug, groaning at the contact. He releases his hold immediately though, letting it spring back against the skin of his belly. He's too sleepy to jerk off, too horny to go back to sleep. By the way yeah, I think he's in the habit of sleeping naked (there was one event story where MC entered his room while he was asleep and was all like "Why are you naked!" - maybe she refers to just his upper body though?) so it makes it easier for him to have a spontaneous morning jerking off. After a bit he turns on his side again, and the covers are grazing past his rock-hard cock juuust in the right way, so he rolls his hips lazily once, and then twice, and it suddenly becomes a real problem. So he says fuck it and pushes off the covers, loosely wrapping his fist around the head of his cock and fucking into it. He doesn't think of anyone in particular, just a nice warm mouth wrapped around his girth, cheeks hollowed out and tongue held out as he thrusts his hips into the willing warm and soft cavern. It's not long before he's cumming in his hand, letting out a satisfied moan and running the fingers of his other hand through his hair to move it out of his forehead, body temperature high and naked chest heaving. A nice cold shower is going to feel amazing for him afterward. The residents might think he becomes a different person once he's past his grumpy wake-up stage but they don't know the secret behind his content little smile.

He also jerks off after his sparring sessions, when the adrenaline is still racing in his blood and the hormones heighten his libido.

Reading erotica is not beyond him either, though he might have an issue with it being too far from what gets him going, with how modest yet dramatic it sounds. He'd enjoy pornographic material that is both deeply intimate and dirty at the same time.

So how does it change for him after he starts dating you? His sex drive is probably skyrocketing, and you can't be available to take care of his morning erections all the time so of course he still has to deal with it himself once in a while. It becomes more interesting now though, because the risk of someone re-entering his room because "are you STILL sleeping, Napoleon?" becomes a dangerously alluring chance of making you catch him, "accidentally". Though he's not without shame. If he expects you to walk on him, if he has that sort of control, it would be very turning-on for him. If he doesn't - if he's caught red-handed with a pair of your underwear or another item of yours... he's going to be embarrassed about it. Frowning, blushing, the sexy ridge of his eyebrows knit together when he's so obviously worked up by it, yet trying to be nonchalant... you should tease him about it. About not being able to wait until he has you later in the day or about being crazy for your scent, about how he must be wishing for your touch that would be able to get him off so, so much faster...

5/10 "Fine, I was touching myself to the thought of you. Are you just going to stand there and watch how hopeless I am? I didn't think you were so coldhearted. Come here... at least let me breathe the air around you. I'll be over with this before you know it, so... indulge me, won't you?"

-> (ALWAYS OPEN) send me a kink & I’ll give you a headcanon and rating for Napoleon!

🦶foot fetish 🥵breeding kink 🥕pregging 😈dom/sub 🍈breast kink ⛓bondage 🩸period kink 👄marking 🐺predator/prey 🏙public sex 🤗praise kink 👅 cunnilingus 🍌blowjobs (receiving) 🚪getting caught

[sturn-wrld]

🪼one bed

pairing: matt x reader

summary: where reader has a crush on matt but doesn't know he likes her as well

genre: SMUT!!! if that makes you uncomfortable dni!

warnings: unprotected p in v (don't be silly, wrap the willy), nicknames

a/n: day 5 of smutmas. idk how to feel about this one.

masterlist

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you and matt had known each other for as long as you remember. there hadn't been a day you didn't see him. but you also don't remember a day where you didn't think of him and his dreamy eyes, beautiful smile and gorgeous hair. despite the strong feelings you feel about him constantly you had never told him. even after you moved in with him and his brothers in la, you still didn't tell him.

it had been 5 months since you moved in with the triplets and you all needed a well deserved vacation. so you are now sat in the airport waiting for your flight to the bahamas to board and take off.

having arranged the seats months prior you had forgotten you and matt offered to sit next to each other and wondered how you would survive through the whole flight next to him.

somehow you were able to make it through the flight without total embarrassment or combusting from matt obviously looking at you or talking lowly to you and now you are in the beautiful country of the bahamas. in the same sense you had organised with the group to sit next to matt on the plane you were going to share rooms as well.

as you and matt reached the biggest room in the airbnb you open the door to there being one bed. you immediately look at each other, figuring out the solution in your heads.

"i thought there would be more than one bed"

"me too. i can sleep on the couch if that makes you comfortable"

"no no. if anyone should i will but if your cool with sleeping in the same bed as me i am"

"sure we've done it before on accident, it won't be any different"

"yeah"

as matt and i made ourselves comfortable in our new bedroom for the week, we became hungry. apparently along with matt and nick. as the four of you sat downstairs eating the food you had just ordered nick mapped out the next week of fun activities that started today, probably your favourite day of the week, relaxing all day. your choice was in the pool.

after a long day of fun in the pool it finally came time to shower and get ready for bed. while you stood in yours and matt's shared shower you thought back on some of the moments that happened throughout the day. one stuck out in particular, matt had placed his hand around you and called you baby when you were having a conversation with nick.

"hey baby, what are you two talking about over here?" matt said placing his arm lowly on your hip looking between you and nick.

"n-nothing" you stuttered looking from his hand to his face. in all honesty you were talking about how you needed to tell matt that you liked him, which is a little weird as nick was his brother but you were friends with nick first.

as you now stand out of the shower wondering what he meant by this very meaningless phrase that many people use, you considered asking him about the interaction but decided to save it for the awkward chats you would have while trying to fall asleep tonight.

as you slowly slipped under the covers next to matt, you dazed over at his lowly lit facial features, being barely lit by the light of his dull phone. you continued to lay there in silence until he placed his phone down on his bedside table, laying down next to you.

"how did you like the day?" he asked turned m his side facing you

"good, i mean we didn't do much all day and the pool is pretty good" you struggled to continue to look into his soft eyes as he listened to every word you said intently, holding back what you actually wanted to talk about.

"anything else?" he said as he moved a strand of your hair from your face.

"uh, i mean yeah, earlier when you come over to me and was wrapped around me did that mean anything to you?"

"of course it did beautiful. i don't know how it took you so long to realise that there was more to this." he said ponting between the two of you

"i mean you weren't that obvious until today but i would like to think i was pretty obvious" you said with a yawn attached to the end.

"yeah, we'll talk about this more in the morning after you've rested" matt finished the conversation pulling you into a cozy cuddle.

as you started to fall asleep you subconsciously snuggled your body into his rubbing your side up against his groin earning a groan from matt. after this the small wriggles became anything but subconscious. suddenly matt grabbed your hips to position you still.

"are you okay there baby?"

"yeah i'm perfectly fine, are you?"

"not if you keep moving"

"why's that?" you asked obliviously knowing exactly why

"do you want to know now because i know you are going to keep moving"

"yes please"

with that matt started slowly removing both of our bottoms while kissing the back of your neck and shoulders. you kept grinding back on his now hard cock wanting more friction.

"hold on darling, be patient"

this sentence was nothing but absolute joy for your ears to hear. almost seconds later he gotten on his knees, flipping your body onto your stomach and pulled your ass up to his now hard dick.

"come on baby, stop teasing" you whined almost moaning it

that was the tipping point, he rammed his cock so hard into your hole causing a loud moan to escape your lips. matt instantly putting his hand over your mouth.

"do you want everyone to hear? didn't think so, be quiet"

the way he said it was heavenly. once you had started to fuck yourself on his cock he held your hips and started fucking you at an animalistic pace.

"oh fuck beautiful your so tight" he said leaning forward, kissing the back of your neck

you only moaned quietly in response as he had reached a depth that seemed impossible. suddenly he started rubbing your clit at a similar animalistic pace causing you to reach the edge.

"i'm so close matt, keep going"

"hold it until i say gorgeous"

after a few more rough slams against me i couldn't hold it anymore and neither could matt.

"cum now princess"

he came inside of me before slowly continuing to calm us from how highs. he pulled out and pulled me into his arms.

"i'm kind of glad there was only one bed now"

taglist

@ermdontmindthisaccount @its-jennarose @ilovemattsturn

[kaihuntrr]

The Sea Prince; Betas and Sketches!

Hello! been a bit since ive done a sketch dump, but it isnt just a sketch dump, it's an announcement!

As @mewhoismyself and I work on the fic, we need an active set of beta readers! The two we have our wonderful, but to keep with the schedule, we need some extra hands and fresh eyes!

Hence, beta readers are once again open!

I am looking for two betas who are experienced in writing, and who are active to give their insights and feedback! currently, i am writing chapter 17, but while i do that, i'd need the feedback as soon as i can get it so i can prepare it for the chapter release dates. shoot a comment down below so i can check your account!

anyway, here's some doodles <3

ONE OF THESE IMAGES BELOW HAVE BLOOD. I AM WARNING YOU NOW.

first off, here's a joke made by a friend :> martyn is scott's babygirl, boom, its canon-

starting off, here's some silhouettes for the other princes ;D I can't reveal them, otherwise the surprise would be ruined! they're all based on different sea creatures, but they are just as scary as Prince Pearl and Prince Chromia. theres other designs i have to get to, but this is a sneak peak of the other terrors lurking in the dark.

speaking of, I got a fun doodle of em <3 the good thing about eating underwater is that they won't get all messy, but there are those times where an audience might watch them eat, they're messy eaters!

these two are pretty, but i really wanted to push their freakier, scarier sea prince sides! more slight changes, but they're both quite fun to draw! their contrasting designs are so much fun to draw together, i love these sillies! oh- and here's a bloodless version!

i absolutely LOVE my sea prince designs, scott and pearl just itch me the right way.

and before i pop off, here's some concept designs for joey and sausage, along with fwhip and gem! since gem is officially a lifer, i think her role in the story might be a bit more focused on, who knows!

wanted to make sure sausage didn't look like his pirates look :0c this au was originally before pirates smp, so i wanted to differentiate them somehow, so i pulled a lot from their empires' attire and see what works! what do you think?

finally, we have the cover art board! im planning to put this all in my pinned post the moment all the covers drop, but goodness, those eyes sure are pretty!

what do you think of the au so far? enjoying it? i hope you are! this au is such a blast <3

[amethystamanda]

Basin Shower

This is a 'shower' to match my Pitcher and Basin Set. Your sims will be able to wash themselves without waiting for their weekly bath or for their 6 siblings to be done in the tub.

It's a bit tricky to place. The basin has nothing to do with the placement except that it's the part you hold. You can put the basin on the other side of the wall if you go too close, so if it vanishes, check there. The important spot is invisible once it's placed--you NEED the spot in front of the basin and to the immediate left clear, or your sim won't be able to reach it.

Clutter the basin up as much as you like, including putting things inside the basin. These all work in game.

I don't recommend the last one, but it will work.

It's designed to work with the dresser from Cottage Living. It floats a TINY bit on counters, but you won't see that unless you're at eye level with the counter. You can use move objects to raise it if you're willing to ignore your sims floating when using it, although there is a limit to how high it can go before sims can't reach it. If you want to put it on something lower, you can make that thing bigger or put something on top of it. You can place it using move objects onto things it doesn't want to go on, but if that thing is functional, you shouldn't because it can cause routing issues for that thing--not for the basin though, as far as I can tell.

It does NOT go into slots. Don't be surprised if a sim puts a toy or a dirty dish inside if you place it in the same place a slot exists. You may want to fill slots first and then place somewhere that has no slots it if that concerns you.

It comes in the same 8 swatches as the basins from the original set, which match the multitude of swatches for the pitchers.

Everything is properly tagged for the base colour. It should be off-the-grid compatible. I say should, because these (and the sink from the first set) are my first OTG items, and while they're based on in-game OTG items, OTG is tricky to get to stick.

152 polys. Costs 100 simoleons.

Important info:

Leave the space in front of and to the immediate left of that clear! That's where the 'shower' is.

There is no water effect, because that would mean water falling from mid-air.

There is no soap, because that goes with the water, unfortunately.

Can break, but will not visibly break. That also goes with the water.

Can get dirty, but just like the sink, it will not get visibly dirty. I had to choose between transparent or solid water, and transparent won. Visible dirt was with the solid water.

Sims can do everything that they can with a normal shower, including shaving if you have high school years, EXCEPT woohoo.

This has custom tuning. That makes it slightly more likely to break in a patch. If it does, I may not notice if I'm not actively using it in my game at the time. PLEASE let me know if you're using it and it breaks.

It does not have custom animations. Sims will act as if water's falling on them. Not so noticeable if you play with the game's mosaic, but if you play with the mosaic removed, it may look odd. I am not an animator, so it is what it is.

The water does not move. With the sink, I was able to move things around and make the surface move a bit when in use. When I tried that with the shower, there was water falling out of the cabinet underneath.

CC in the pics:

Walls by @peacemaker-ic https://peacemaker-ic.tumblr.com/post/152462832529/i-only-make-walls-when-i-am-in-the-mood-or

Lamp by @vampireloreskill, updated by @jewishsimming https://jewishsimming.tumblr.com/post/657737836277252096/historical-buildbuy-objects-made-off-the-grid-hey

Hair by @simstrouble https://simstrouble.tumblr.com/post/676540331899109376/elena-by-simstrouble-named-after-my-sweet-mama

Pitcher by me, from the set linked at the top

Download: http://simfileshare.net/folder/222894/