#but it was way too much trouble

[quiet-longing]

because sometimes louis (and vampires) deserves nice things

Or: no, they really don't, but I'm giving it to them, anyway because it amuses me.

Iwtv is a painful fandom to be a part of, especially if you know what's coming and I think most people know, readers or not. The books have been out for years. There was a movie. The internet exists. What I'm saying is anyone coming into this fandom is probably someone who, by general cultural osmosis, knows what's up. Nobody's coming in blind. So, we all, to varying degrees, know how much it's gonna hurt us.

So after I brood about it (like the good Louis fan i am), I like to imagine a softer world for the characters. A world that's filled with small dramas instead of big ones and imagine them still being their ridiculous selves.

Now, think of this introduction to my soft vampire daydreams as a warm bath...

The premise is superficially the same minus the murdering and vampirism and it's a modern day human AU, so this Claudia has two dads and not a dad and an uncle and more importantly (not to Louis and Lestat; they would like their young, sweet daughter back; not this shrieking changeling who's replaced her), she gets to grow up. She's adopted (legally and everything!) because Tragic Circumstances (not caused by Louis this time). Now, I thought Bailey played Claudia a lot younger than 14 in the beginning and I really enjoyed it. Claudia almost certainly didn't get a childhood, so when Louis and Lestat vamped her, she did, and I take my characterization from that because this is supposed to be fun.

Anyway, they adopt Claudia at younger than 14 - young enough that she's still asking "is that my fountain?" "is that my house" "are we a family?" and she is exactly as spoiled as she is in the show. Whatever she wants, she gets. Louis and Lestat dote on her. Lestat especially, spoils her. They have a special bond (I've yet to figure out about what yet; not the stage, that comes later and Claudia is sooooo mad about it). She has special bonds with both of her dads, but in her early childhood, she's especially close with Lestat because they're so similar. When she hits her tweens and teens, that's when she gets closer to Louis because "the NOISE, the DRAMA, he's so STUPID! he doesn't understand ANYTHING" and "noise! Noise is this torment that you pretend is music! I taught you better! She knows, Louis! She knows what music is; she only does this to HURT ME!, 'DRAMA?! DRAMA?! shouting in French', 'I AM AN ADULT; I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING AND IT IS YOU WHO IS STUPID, UNGRATEFUL BRAT!' followed by the very loud, very identical sounds of inarticulate rage, a chorused 'I HATE YOU' and the slamming of two doors in unison.

Lestat would absolutely argue like this with his teenage daughter. He would absolutely be the parent says 'your face is stupid!' to his kid, throw the exact same tantrum while his husband watches serenely 'LOUIS, MON CHER, HOW CAN YOU TAKE HER SIDE?!!!!!!! DO YOU NO LONGER LOVE ME?????' Meanwhile, Louis has said nothing as he listened to the two of them present their case to him as if he's some kind of judge. As if he wasn't just sitting here all cozy, reading his book when these two loud brats stomped (loudly) into the living room and stood in front of him, taking turns (loudly) hurling insults at each other while throwing their arms out as if they're presenting one another to Louis and then looking at Louis as if to say 'can you BeLieVE what i have to put up with? Louis does believe it. Louis absolutely believes because Louis is currently putting up with it times two every day of his life. He is seriously reconsidering Lestat's offer to nominate him for sainthood and present his case to The Church. St. Louis of New Orleans. It has as ring to it. Louis is not serene. He only looks serene because he is imagining his own softer world where his husband and daughter had quiet fights, upstairs, away from him, while he got to finish a book (one! single! book!) without interruption. And now that they've both stormed off without waiting him to render a verdict (he has yet to do this; he is mildly disappointed because he kind of wants to do that thing Armand showed him on the Ipad that time - hold up a picture of each one of them and tell them it's the same picture. He'd been a little confused by it at first and then Armand have given him a long lecture on memes on and Internet Culture before Daniel (Old Maniel, my beloved! I don't care; this is my new favorite iteration of devil's minion and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands) cut in: "Armand, I think he's got it. I had to explain memes to him. He had a lot of questions and I did a lot of research. Sorry, Louis." Louis, had in fact gotten it, gotten it quite a while ago. He'd pretty much gotten it as soon as Armand had pulled up a picture of the meme that wasn't two obscure Renaissance paintings.

He's not as technologically inept as everyone seems to think he is. Lestat is obsessed with social media. Louis helps him photographs his "thirst traps." (I imagine that's how Louis imagines the word thirst traps in his head.) Which reminds him. He's pretty sure he's due for that meltdown soon enough. It's getting harder to bribe Claudia's friends not to show her her dad's Insta. Louis does, in fact call it Insta. Occasionally 'the 'Gram' when he wants to be silly. Because Lestat. And because he's bribing his daughter's friends to steer away her away from the small empire Lestat has built across various social media websites.

Lestat's been a very benevolent ruler; he loves engaging with his subjects. Louis wishes he would engage a little less because he is very concerned that the one video of Lestat doing the Britney Spears knife dance in his underwear) is going to go viral. Right now, the good citizens of Lestat's fiefdom are hoarding it to themselves, making it their new 'iykyk' wink-wink nudge-nudge. And it was one of the paid streams, but still. Of course it was going to get out. He's just glad the public Lestat subreddit has banned posting it and is being strict about taking it down every time it goes up. (Louis is bizarrely familiar with certain corners of the internet, but he doesn't even know the nyan cat meme. Old? Yes. But standard curriculum for anyone who knows memes. Which Louis does not. The only memes he knows are Lestat memes and they all originated with Lestat. He doesn't even know they're called memes. He just thinks of them as funny edits pointing out Lestat being ridiculous. He can't believe Lestat likes them as much as he does, frankly. I love Louis.)

So, yes. That's another thing St. Louis of New Orleans has on his plate. His daughter's inevitable discovery of her father's social media following and that the real reason all her friends always want to hang out at her house is because they think her dad is hot, not because they're rich (well, they are and that is part of it, but mostly it's because they want to ogle Lestat. They think they're being subtle. They are not. Claudia, so far, has assumed it's because they share the same opinion of her father as she does: that he's a ridiculous idiot and that they're laughing at him, not giggling about Lestat 'just breathed omg!' like the 14 year-olds they are.)

Le sigh. This post was supposed to be about Claudia and her Regina George era and Lestat and Louis getting called to the principal's office and listening to a list of her crimes and making Very Serious faces at her and getting to the car and Louis starting to lecture and Lestat asking why she wasted her time on this instead of taking down the other Ultimate Mean Girl that just moved here who's trying to challenge Claudia's status as the Prettiest and Most Perfect Princess That Ever Walked This Earth Everyone Loves Her Just What Are You Insinuating About My Daughter [insert French insult] (did I already say Lestat is French in every universe? well, if i didn't, he is, and if i did, now you're really certain.)

Anyway, enjoy my crack thoughts about everyone's favorite vampire family.

[shycorvid]

A demon twins idea where they think they're brothers, but due to some mishaps half of Danny's DNA belongs to Dick while Damian got Bruce's. They only find this out because Danny got real mad at his Grandfather and bit him hard enough to draw blood that one time so Ra's checked to see if he got rabies from his idiot grandchild and something in those tests didn't look right. He got his doctors to investigate further and oh no that child is Grayson's, they have to get rid of him fast.

Because Bruce might get a little mad at Talia for hiding his son from him if he ever finds out, but Richard Grayson? Richard Grayson would rain hell upon them.

[thesorrowoflizards]

↳ You never know when the good you do may come back around.

[ratatatastic]

"Good morning, Matt. I'm over here." *proceeds to look around widly like a dog being told a special word like b-a-l-l*

he looks so disgruntled having to locate people he must've been shit at the I SPY books as a kid

media availability | 6.14.24 (x)

[kwillow]

What kind of sound are Theo's... noises... intended to be? Snorts? Mouth sounds? Choking sounds? Stuffy nose sounds? I feel like I imagine them as a different thing every time I read them lol

Almost all of the above, really! Nasally grunts, snorts, whines, growls, guttural noises that sound like he's clearing his throat or choking on his own air... Theo makes all manner of noises. Not on purpose.

His "noises" are unconscious vocalizations most of the time. They're akin to vocal tics. The utterances are louder, more pronounced and more frequent the more stressed he is. It takes quite a bit of effort and discomfort to suppress his noises once he feels the urge brewing (if he even catches it in time, because most of the time he isn't even fully aware that he's doing it). He does his utmost to keep them choked down, but to his embarrassment, some grunts and gags always slip through.

Also, often his laugh can sound like "a noise" since it can be more of a gargling wheeze than a proper expression of mirth. His smoking habit hasn't helped the, er, phlegminess of its sound.

A counterpoint to his common stress-sounds is his habit of making quiet humming noises when he's feeling contented and relaxed. He only does it when in exceedingly good spirits - so as you might imagine, he hasn't had much cause to hum in many years.

[sammyofold]

Here are those fic recs I promised you @incesthemes ! I hope there's some in there that you'll really enjoy <3 I split up the recs into overarching tropes to group some together, but I'll start with those that don't fit into any of the groups.

The list got a bit long, so I decided to split it up into two parts.

(Part 1 | Part 2)

Courting Death by theproblematique.

Summary: Sam Winchester lived the first six months of his life in a happy family; the next twelve years as John Winchester's only son, and the last decade as an orphan. He's supposed to die at twenty-two trying to save the woman he loves from a fire, because he doesn't have a brother to pull him back. But the night Sam meets his Reaper he discovers that Death is overly fond of pop-culture references, too beautiful to be real, and reluctant to kill him.

Servant of Servants 'verse by klove0511.

This is a two-part series (though I think it might've been intended to have more fics, its ending doesn't leave you feeling snubbed), posing the question: "what if it had been Sam who'd been mortally wounded at the end of Season 1?"

love potion no. 9 by according2thelore.

Summary: Dean drinks a love potion. Sam is falling apart at the seams because he's been in love with his brother for more than a decade.

keep me in a daydream by according2thelore.

Summary: After an accidental kiss makes a hunt go suspiciously well, Sam and Dean decide to try it again. And again. And again. It's no different from wearing lucky socks, right? A 5 + 1.

for you and me (i got no alibi) by remy.

Summary: There are people hitting on Sam wherever he goes, and Dean is doing weird things like holding doors open for him and touching him way more than is necessary, and it's all driving Sam up the wall. It doesn't help that he's been in love with Dean for just about forever, and all of it feels like a mockery of something he'll never get to have. Meanwhile, Dean is at his wits' end trying to figure out how he can make Sam realize that he is, in fact, trying to get into his pants.

Ben Has Two Dads by regala_electra.

Summary: When Ben turns thirteen and learns that Dean Winchester is his father, he runs away to join his father (and uncle). A tale where boys are boys, Vikings are Vikings, unicorns go to Candy Mountains, Dean and Sam are in big gay love, and Ben becomes a Winchester.

Last Temptation by merle_p.

Summary: Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.

Five Times Dean Forgot and One Time He Remembered by elsi.

Summary: Rowena warned him the obliviate curse might have “aftershocks.” That Dean could relapse to his amnesiac state without warning—though only temporarily, she assured. But this? This goes beyond calling a lamp a “light stick.”

Whatever It Is by theproblematique.

Summary: Both Sam and Dean get sent to the year 2014.

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life, Too) by TeacupUnicorn.

Summary: Sam and Dean get handcuffed together during a hunt. With a werewolf on their tail and a proximity to each other they haven’t had since they were kids, their unstable relationship is put to the test and their trust in each other is pushed to the limit. Set sometime after 5x16 and before 5x20.

Not Her Sam by Yuval25.

Summary: Future Dean goes back in time to change the future and saves Jess. Future Sam tags along unexpectedly. And Jess is okay. No, seriously. She's fine.

Mistaken For a Couple

101 - mythology by ani_coolgirl.

Summary: As Sam, Dean, and Kali flee Lucifer's slaughter, Kali makes an assumption. The boys try to clear up any misconceptions. They don't do a very good job.

I need you so much closer by cherryvanilla.

Summary: five times they're mistaken for a couple plus one time they actually are.

Domesticity

Paisley by samsexualdeancurious.

Summary: After his mind wall was broken and was healed, Sam knows he can’t be a hunter anymore, so he and Dean retire, and Sam ends up finding a homeless dog who was abused and together they heal.

The Chicago Verse by compo67.

This is a series spanning a whopping 169 fics. I've read only a few of them and I enjoyed Sam and Dean retiring in this town together. It's still updating, looks like, since the latest fic added was in May of this year.

a few things worth saying by hathfrozen.

Summary: “So this morning,” Dean ventures as they blast down the highway in pitch black night toward a probable werewolf case. Sam looks over at him, thin eyebrows raised, eyes clear and calm. He’s not even difficult about it, doesn’t ask what Dean is after, doesn’t deny what had happened. Instead he says, very simply, “I just figure, why lie?” Alright then.

All The Way In by hunters_retreat.

Summary: Sam never did know how exactly it happened. One day, he and Dean were run ragged, exhausted from yet another disaster of a hunt, no money and no gas, no prospects and no allies left alive to give them a hand. The next, they owned a store with a shooting range and Sam was a professor of religious studies at a local community college.

Pre-Series & Season 1

To Blow Against the Wind by dreamlittleyo.

Summary: After Oasis Plains, Sam and Dean can't. Stop. Touching each other.

Star-Crossed by Agent_Hellcat.

Summary: Before Sam departs for Stanford, he writes a letter to Dean, begging him to come to Palo Alto with him.

Birthday Suit by wincestation.

Summary: On the morning of Dean’s eighteenth birthday, Dad takes him to buy a suit. Sam is… interested.

house song by according2thelore.

Summary: “The werewolf.” Sam says, quick. Hushed. Scared. “I don’t know how. I was—He was standing above you and then he wasn’t. And I think I did that.” Dean keeps whispering stuff to Sam, banal reassurances that Sam soaks up like a sponge, but he feels sick. Sammy did something impossible. Sammy’s been doing impossible things. For years. Or: Pre-Canon/Teen!chesters AU in which Sam develops powers at age eleven, Dean will do anything to protect him, and they have to live with the consequences

Outsider POV

What I've Done by Amoreanonyname.

Summary: He wasn’t going to say anything more about it. He could tell, Dean was happy to see him, but wasn’t going to humor this topic. Dean, young Dean would jump to obey John, to answer John’s questions, but this was an older Dean who was more loyal to someone else now. More loyal to his brother. John wasn’t the priority here, and he realized with another guilty jump in his stomach that he never should have been.

something you love and understand by monsterq.

Summary: In heaven, Mary makes an unwelcome discovery about her sons’ relationship.

a skeleton terribly restless by remy.

Summary: Mary knows she doesn't fit right in this strange new world she's woken up in, with these grown men masquerading as her sons, but she tries her best. She really does. She closes her eyes to all the things she does not want to see, and she lies to herself until she's convinced. Until she can't.

Flowers on the Window Sill by orphan_account.

Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester's relationship as observed by the good people of Star's Hollow.

Soulmates

Fix You by non_tiembo_mala.

Summary: After their encounter with Famine, the boys are in dire straits. With Dean left shaken by the horseman's taunts - which rang truer than he'd like to admit - and Sam juiced up on demon blood again, Dean is at a loss. He has no idea how to move forward, or where they're meant to go from here. Then again, they’ve always had each other - perhaps their salvation isn't as far away as it seems.

All Too Familiar by sammichgirl.

Summary: Sam's new hobby has consequences they never saw coming. Turns out, that's OK with Dean after all.

What We Do by BleedingInk.

Summary: Castiel catches Sam and Dean in a compromising position.

since feeling is first by queenklu.

Summary: That he wants to think this is Dean yanking a leash should make his blood run cold, not aching hot. It should make him sick, angry, it should get his fucking hackles up and make him fight. He does want to fight. But there’s a skin-thin line between primal things, and fighting isn’t all he wants to do.

if the dam breaks open many years too soon by deirde_c.

Summary: Sam’s soul springs a leak, and Dean’s the one who can repair it.

In the beached margin of the sea by rivers_bend.

Summary: Sam and Dean black out on a hunt, and when they wake up, Dean's having visions and Sam can't get new, strange feelings out of his head. When John finds out about the side effects, he'll do anything to get rid of the "curse". But Sam and Dean don't want to go back to the way things were before.

I Don't Need A Symbol by amoreanonyname.

Summary: It hadn’t meant that much to Sam at first. A warm glow at being able to do something nice for Dean, to give him something for once, to make him as happy as he seemed when he put it on immediately. It was what it meant to Dean that made it mean something else to Sam.

[marshmallowgoop]

No matter how special it is, a kid's lunch is still just a kid's lunch.

I dunno, I liked "The Genius Restaurant" (Episode 1,089).

Happy (belated) birthday, Jimjam.

[Song link] [YouTube link]

[aardvaark]

im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.

[budd-ie]

“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when

[oneshotgremlin]

First impressions on Fake Peppino Friday (aka how Pep and Fep first met in my interp):

(Context: Back in the earlier versions of pizza tower, the tunnel chase was a lot harder, and there’s this one drop that immediately goes into an overhang. When I say that I tried SO many times to grab slide through it but because of how little space there was I just KEPT GRABBING AT THE WALL OH MY GOD

Anyways, I like to keep my failures in my interpretation. Adds a je ne sais quoi to some of the character dynamics [judgement and concern])

No because this is actually so funny if you think about. Imagine being in Fake Peppino's shoes, right?

You're alone in in your restaurant. Waiting. Anticipating. And then you hear it. Footsteps.

You turn around and you see...You. You, but not. The You you've been watching on static riddled TV screens. The You you've heard your pizza-headed creator curse out so much, yet fail to measure up to.

It's the You you should've been.

You scream and you scream with him. "He can't get past you. Don't let him get to staff only." It's the one task your creator drilled into your head, above pizza making.

You attack.

And you can't keep up with him as you fight. Even in person, giving everything you've got, even getting some hits in, you still fail to compare to him.

But when the floor beneath both of you breaks, and he speeds away running for his life, he crashes into an overhang in the tunnel you've fallen in.

As he panickedly scrabbles against the dark stone, you finally catch up to him and. Bite. Down.

The world goes black. Then you're standing back in your restaurant. You aren't entirely surprised, nothing truly stays dead or destroyed in this tower. From the levels to the pillars to even the people, they all come back one way or another.

You hear footsteps. You turn around.

It's You.

...[TWO HOURS LATER]...

Oh Cheesus Crust it's You again.

You don't know how many times he's gone through your boss room, and at this point you're too afraid to keep count.

He doesn't even scream after walking in anymore. Neither do you. You're unspeakably worried for this man's sanity, assuming that it exists in the first place (you're less and less sure it does with every reattempt he makes).

You're not actually sure if he's even trying to get past you at this point. If anything he's decided to have a blood feud with one particular overhang in the tunnel and is somehow sorely losing.

Again.

At this point, you're pretty confident you know every single Italian and American swear in the global lexicon, along with some new ones that were invented within the last two hours alone.

As you once again catch up to him, you don't even bother biting him. Clearly getting repeatedly crushed into pulp is not the deterrent it is for every single other creature in this tower. You scruff his shirt with your teeth and carry him out and he just lets you like he did for the past hour or so. Soon enough he'll be back re-doing the same song and dance you've done for 2 hours straight before racing off to fistfight The Wall.

You don't know what this man's malfunction is but maybe you should be a little grateful that you aren't entirely like him after all.

(Bonus doodle for the peeps that read through it all):

[luvsscribblez]

Scout and the five demons

Aka that time the squad visited Scout at her part time job at a cafe.

Featuring a guest appearance! Nimrod Stew who belongs to @weevmo! I love this little guy so much I wanna draw him more :)

Poor Wally I still love you too. Wally belongs to @partycoffin.

Birdie is an honorary member of the squad because she deals with enough horrors as is (and because I say so lol)

[beware-of-you-98]

i know, i know, jj is so fucking strong and she perseveres despite everything she’s gone through, i know, but fucking hell my heart is breaking over and over for her

the far away look in her eyes

the constant fidgeting to keep herself present

the way she only has the bare minimum amount of skin showing, even to where she’s covering her hands

my heart hurts for her so much and she’s forcing herself to deal with all of this alone

[tender-traps]

GOD i am such a sucker for cinderella whump

all the possibilities for an awful home life. forced to work, vilified, beaten, starved, locked in isolation, you name it. and of course being denied a blanket and having to huddle close to the fire in winter.

then they're free for just one night, or maybe three. just a short little step into a world where all of it goes away.

and then there’s the stranger. god this perfect stranger, beautiful and kind, who sees something worthwhile in whumpee. when they catch whumpee looking sad, they actually care.

and then they go back. and that taste of freedom makes it all the more painful. and when they think of the rest of their miserable life their spirit starts to break.

but the stranger!!!!! dropping everything, maybe making a personal sacrifice of their own, just to find their missing friend, because they CARE. someone finally cares enough to make it stop. and they do.

and that's where the story ends a lot of the time but we don't do that here. the aftermath. the scars, all of the toxic shit whumpee believes about themself, the feeling of being indebted to their savior. i'll take all of it thank you <3

[seasideoranges]

y'all i gotta be honest for a sec, the "atla wouldnt change much if aang wasnt there, in fact it might be better" and "the atla finale wouldnt change much if aang wasnt there to fight ozai" debates is the funniest thing ive seen come out of this fandom

[noxcheshire]

I was taking a moment after finishing reading DP: agit , you know, just processing the adventure and the potential that this story can give to DP fandom when I suddenly got whiplash by a visual of that old video of some guy in a military vehicle and his dad yelling at him.

But it twisted to be Dan having destroyed half the world before Danny comes in with his hands on his hips like a disappointed/angry mom and yelling at Dan to stop trying to destroy the world again and Dan screaming back “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”

And Danny, not missing a beat, slaps back, “I AM your mom, and you will get down here right now!”

But I’m going to make this dpxdc cause I like it and no one can stop me.

So here we have Dan creating havoc, and throwing things, very upset. Being truly evil and scary; striking fear into the JL and heroes, when in comes Danny Fenton.

Not even Phantom.

Just Danny Fenton in all his small — taking after his mother — glory. He is walking in with hands on his hips in that perfect disappointed mom pose and glaring up at Dan.

Dan who was currently sneering over the heroes of this world, and either too cocky to notice the heroes attention splitting between himself and something else, or truly unaware of the human behind him.

“DAN PHANTOM!” Danny yells, “You get down here right now!”

The villain — Dan Phantom — spins fast in the air, red eyes large and loosing a percentage of that evil charm before it returns with a snarl. “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”

“I AM your mom, and you will listen to me; get down here right now!”

Dan, in a rather uncharacteristic expectation from what the heroes knew of him this entire three days of destruction, throws his head back and yells.

The sound was filled with teenage rebellion. And then, miraculously, Dan floated down to Danny, with a very upset pout.

[gophergal]

Life on the farm