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#but it took a while for it to hit me so idk
firewasabeast · 2 days
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prompt: silly or angry sex? idk!
how about silly and angry sex? also, I don't write smut often so please forgive me.
“I really, shit, really don't wanna fight with you while your, oh yeah, fingers are in my ass.”
“Finger,” Tommy corrected, slowly and deliberately massaging over Buck's prostate. “Just the one right now.”
“God, you’re so annoying,” Buck huffed, his back arching slightly as Tommy's other hand rested over his stomach.
“Would you like me to stop?” Tommy asked. The way he was keeping his voice so calm and casual made Buck want to wring his neck a little bit.
“Stop being annoying?” he replied. “Yes.”
“Stop fucking you,” Tommy clarified, pouring a bit more lube on his fingers and adding a second along with the first, “so you can fight with me?”
Buck sucked in a breath, then let out a long moan. “Oh fuck no, don't stop.”
“Mm,” Tommy hummed. He ran his hand up Buck's chest, dragging it back down slowly. His fingernails scraping over Buck's nipple on the way. “So fighting while fucking it is.”
“Fuck. S'not fair,” he said with a glare, fucking himself on Tommy's fingers. One of his hands flailed out until it found Tommy's thigh, gripping it for dear life. “Kiss me.”
Tommy shook his head. “Tell me why you're angry first, Evan.”
“Mmm,” Buck's head lolled to the side, his eyes drifting shut in pleasure. “Don't remember.”
Tommy twisted his fingers, driving in with a particularly hard thrust.
Buck's eyes shot back open and up at Tommy, his hand squeezing tighter on his thigh. Tommy would have bruises in the morning, which sent chills up his spine.
“Yes you do,” Tommy said, staring back at Buck. “Now why are you mad?”
“Be- Because, oh right there, because you forgot to take the meat out of the freezer again.”
“And?”
“And I reminded you, uh, uh, uh, you like five times while I was at work.” He smacked at Tommy's thigh. “Add another finger, Tommy, please.”
Tommy obliged. He removed his fingers and added more lube, warming it up before pressing three against Buck's hole. “Deep breath in and-”
“Let it out slow, yeah yeah, I know. Not my first rodeo.” He rolled his eyes but drew in a deep breath, slowly releasing it as Tommy worked three fingers into him. “You feel so fucking good,” he said, sounding more annoyed about that fact than anything. He couldn't handle it anymore. He reached up and pulled Tommy down over him in a messy, angry kiss. He bit down on Tommy's bottom lip, causing him to hiss ever so slightly. He took that opportunity to practically stick his tongue down Tommy's throat, tasting his fresh mint mouthwash that he always gargled after dinner.
A dinner which was take out tonight.
Because he forgot to take the meat out of the freezer.
For like the fourth time in a month.
Tommy's fingers were moving inside him earnestly now, Buck meeting every thrust. “I know you, mhm, apologized but I really, uh, don't understand, yes, yeah, how you could f- forget like that, faster, Tommy, fuck me.”
“You feel so good around my fingers, Evan, God.” Tommy moaned into Buck's mouth as Buck reached down and took both of their cocks in his hand.
Their bodies were at awkward angles, with Tommy not able to move as deeply into Buck with each thrust. But, judging by the sounds coming out of his mouth, Tommy was still hitting all the right spots.
“Fuck, I'm close, Evan.”
“Me too, Tommy. S- so close. Just, oh shit yeah!” Buck came with a shout, Tommy following closely behind him.
They laid there for a few seconds in silence, their sweaty bodies pressed together as they caught their breath.
Eventually, Tommy pulled his fingers out of Buck and plopped down beside him in the bed.
“Shit, I love angry sex,” Buck admitted, rolling over to press himself against Tommy's side.
Tommy laughed, his arm wrapping around Buck's back as he pressed a kiss to his temple. “Why do you think I keep forgetting to take the meat out of the freezer?”
“I knew you did it on purpose!” he exclaimed, leaning up just enough to look at Tommy.
“Well, after the aggressive blowjob you gave me the last time it happened, I had to test my theory. I do, however, promise not to use this knowledge against you in the future. No matter how tempting.”
Buck's eyes darkened as he pulled Tommy in for a kiss. “You're incredible,” he said. “You can use it against me anytime.”
Tommy raised an eyebrow at that and Buck continued. “Well, not any time. Like, if people are coming over for dinner, or if I have a special meal planned. Actually, I could make a detailed list of exact times where it would be appropriate to-”
“Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“You know there are other things I could do besides not take food out of the freezer, right?”
“Like... Like what?” Buck asked, shivering a little as Tommy's hand ran up and down his spine.
“I could occasionally leave my laundry on the bathroom floor.”
“E- Even your gym clothes?”
“If you wanted.”
Buck could feel his heartbeat speeding up. He'd be a little concerned about what this literal dirty talk was doing to him if he didn't currently find it so damn hot. “What else?” he asked.
“I could not take out the trash on trash day. It'd have to sit there another whole week before it got picked up.”
Buck pressed a kiss against Tommy's jaw, then started working his way down, ghosting his lips over Tommy's pec. “I would be livid,” he said before giving the skin there a little bite.
“I know. I could forget to pay a bill. Make you deal with a late fee.”
Buck was on top of Tommy in a second, his thighs straddling Tommy's hips. He was mad at the mere thought of that happening. But so fucking turned on he was already hard again. It wasn't just the idea of more angry sex that made him horny, it was the fact that Tommy was so competent with his forced incompetence that Buck needed him inside of him immediately. It was all very confusing, and Buck made a mental note to dwell on it later.
But for now. “Tommy?”
“Yes, Dear?” Tommy asked with a grin, his hands coming to rest on Buck's waist.
“I'm gonna need you to fuck me.”
Tommy gripped Buck tight, flipping them over quickly so he was back on top. He pressed a chaste kiss to Buck's lips before reaching for the lube. “Yes, Dear.”
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blkluci · 3 days
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idk if your taking requests but i literally js read your mha boys seeing you fight and fell in love and i was wondering if you could do a part 3 with hawks, dabi, and iida or anyone else you’d like pls
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𝒎𝒉𝒂 𝒃𝒐𝒚/𝒎𝒆𝒏 and you fighting pt.3...
CHARACTERS ) keigo tamaki, toya dabi todoroki, tenya iida.
PLOT ) a headcannon of the boy/men seeing you fight.
A/N ) thankk youuu anon for the request!! glad you've been enjoying it :) sorry it took so long to fill. i'm so happy that everyone is enjoying this series. lmk if y'all want me to do a different fandom! :3 my requests are always open, so don't be shy y'all <33
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[ 𝐊𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐎 ] hawks is a walking chick magnet—nopunintended. but he's he made that EXTREMELY clear in multiple interviews; he only wants you. so, it makes no sense when his random girl pushes up on him talkin' bout sum‰—"HE'S MINE." she followed you guys around for too long and hawks asked her to politely stop. when she insisted to not leave him alone, you intervened. didn't go to we for her according to him.
... you've been patient enough
... when she twisted her mouth to say something disrespectful you took off
... your fist connected with them nasty thin lips
... keigo's distress signals in his body weren't working properly
... he didn't know whether to pull you off her and cheer
-> "get In the paint!"
... his chants fuel the punches
... the girl tried the cover her face but your hulk hands still found it
-> "LOOK WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU NOW!"
... you was whoppin' her like you had real issue
... kei was really really amused
... but being that you guys were in public, he didn't want trouble for you
-> "okay baby, i think you got enough hits in."
... right before you let go off her bald head, you landed one for good measures on her nose
-> "DON'T LEMME SEE YOU AGAIN!"
... keigo was chuckling as he covered you guys with his wings and snuck away
... in the secluded area he admired your features
… your face was untouched but a bit of dirt on your shirt
-> "you did her real dirty babe."
-> "so?"
... he smirked
-> "she gonna have bruises for a while."
-> "her problem."
... damn
... that's kinda hot to him
... he chuckled
-> "so cruel. i love you."
… you gave a confused concerned face
… he didn’t care. judge him all you want!
… HE AINT ASHAMED
[ 𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐈 ] toya hasn’t been with many women in his lifetime. but he’s been with one before you. he’s never mentioned it because he ain’t like her. so randomly, when she decided to take it upon herself and text him to leave you. mind you, he been blocked her on everything. he obviously doesn’t entertain, care nor does he want to or have to energy to deal with her. so he gave you the phone and you told her line it up.
… miss girl was BOLD
… she dropped that address with quickness
… so being an amazing and supportive boyfriend
… he took you to her
… as soon as the car pulled up you called her
-> “come outside, we not gon jump you.”
… dabi chuckled
… he sat on the car hood with his hands in his pants
… he made sure he pull out that phone too
-> “don’t beat her up too bad.”
-> “no promises!”
… shawty buss through the doors and ran up on you
… just to get kicked
… dabi almost fell out on the car
… you was putting beat to ahhhhh bruh
-> “ damn. damn. damn.”
… your hits echoed all down the dark street
-> “betcha won’t try it again!”
… dabi seen you fight before but not with typa anger and adrenaline
… your fist moving like lightning fast to her face
… you damn near pull her head off with how hard gripped her hair
-> “GET UP! GET UP!”
… next thing he know you pick her up like some WWE champion and body slam her
-> “OH!”
-> “DUMMY.”
… he didn’t know what to say but snaked his arm around your shoulder with a smirk
-> “where’d you learn that? how you know how to do that.”
-> “i’ll never tell.”
… he looks at you with a straight face
… them blue eyes damn near glowed in the dark
… like gojo
-> “you always doin’ that.”
-> “i love you too.”
… he rolled his eyes
… now he gotta go beat twice cause he knows he taught you that
[ 𝐈𝐈𝐃𝐀 ] mr. idc-ima-tell really ain’t have no romantic past. he does however have haters. boys and girls but he’s mr. don’t-care! so guess what, he don’t care! but some people really be bold out here. just like this ragamuffin boy that try to fight him. so what’d you do? JUMP THE HELL IN! you like corbin fr. but what makes no sense is why this girl would jump in. yeah she got dealt with.
… iida really didn’t have much time to react he could only swing
… you watched with the boy put his booger hands on your pootie, you wasn’t having it
… you punch the random in the back of his fathead
… iida notice that the weigh was off him
… but then he see it’s you
-> “Y/N!”
… all of a sudden!
… some shawty doo-wop run up
… iida pulled the guy off you and punch him in the jaw
… boy got slumped
… you and the girl tho
… y’all still going!
-> “WHAT YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS!?”
-> “y/n! come on, let her go.”
-> “HELL NO! RUN UP AND STILL BEAT YOU !”
… poor girl was scattering on the floor like a roach
… you was giving her that work!
… twisted every way but sideways
… iida eventually pulled you back
-> “calm down, please. you’ve been her up.”
-> “MAKE SURE SHE DONT TRY IT AGAIN!”
… the girl was limping walking away
-> “she won’t! i’ll make a complaint to aizawa and principal nezu."
… he was livid , but he needed to make sure you were okay
… so he asked if you guys could have the day off
… ofc he was granted permission
… so yall went to eat and chat
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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand. (‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭10‬ ‭CSB‬‬)
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mythicalninjas · 3 days
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Hi! Idk if you’re requests are still open but!
Could you do a Donnie getting mad/having a bad day and he kinda explodes (with no reason/gratuitamente) with reader (she)? And they stay away from the lair for a while, and happy ending! (Just want heart-crushing angst with happy ending hsuahs)
(Tbh the prompt I actually thought was “Donnie was stressed and tired of being different, reader who’s autistic says they relate, so he explodes saying they don’t, how could they?” But idk if you’re ok with writing that, so I simplified it! ~I’m autistic, that’s why I thought of that~)
If my ask is to complicated or didn’t inspire you that’s tots ok! I understand! (Sorry this ask was so big too!)
Have a good day/ night! ☺️
It's okay, your prompt is amazing ☺️ Sorry for keeping you waiting for too long... I had to deal with college in the past several months.
I hope I did write the way you asked. Enjoy 💜
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It was a quiet night in the lair, but that didn't reflect Donatello's internal state. The laboratory was plunged into darkness, save for the dim light of the monitors that cast dancing shadows on the walls. The frantic sound of the keyboard echoed, the only sound apart from the hum of the machines at work. Donnie was exhausted, physically and emotionally. His brain was burning with data overload, with formulas and calculations that didn't fit together as they should. It had been days of incessant research, of failed experiments, of trying to find solutions to problems that seemed to multiply.
Every mistake, every failure, was a nagging reminder that he needed to be better. He had to be better. There was no room for weakness. His brothers depended on him, the world depended on him. And the constant pressure to deliver results was starting to implode inside. Exhaustion weighed heavily on his shoulders, but he kept pushing, ignoring the body that was crying out for rest, ignoring the accumulated stress.
She entered the laboratory, as she had done so many times before. Her steps were soft, as if she were trying not to interrupt, but her presence always brought a sense of comfort that Donnie appreciated, even if he never admitted it out loud. He was so focused that he barely noticed her coming until he felt the soft touch of her fingers on his shoulder.
"Hey, Donnie..." Her voice was soft, a gentle touch to his swirling mind. "Are you all right?"
Donatello barely lifted his eyes from the monitors, trying to recalculate a complicated sequence. "I'm busy now," he muttered, his fingers still running across the keyboard.
She waited for a moment, watching the tiredness on his face. She knew that he threw himself into his work when he was frustrated or anxious, and she had learned to give him space when necessary. But now, there was something different in the air. He seemed more tense than usual, more closed off.
She let out a little sigh, hesitating before speaking again. "I know you're busy, but... maybe it's time to take a break? You've been at it for hours..."
Her touch should have been a comfort, but at that moment, something in Donnie snapped. The pressure, the frustration, the accumulated tiredness - it all blended together in an explosion of emotions that he could no longer control.
“I said I'm busy!” His voice echoed louder than he had intended. He stood up abruptly from his chair, his eyes blazing with anger, anger that wasn't hers, but which ended up being directed at her. “Don't you understand? I can't stop! If I stop, I'll fail. If I fail, everything falls apart! And you here, distracting me with… with your unimportant things!
She took a step back, shocked. The impact of his words had hit her like a punch in the gut. Never, in all the time she had known him, had he spoken to her like that. Always so calm, so controlled… but now, he seemed on the verge of collapse. Her eyes filled with tears before she could control herself, but she refused to let them fall. She didn't want to show how much it had hurt her.
“I'm sorry for… bothering you.” Her voice was low, broken, almost inaudible.
She turned quickly and left the lab before he could say anything else, before the tears flowed. Donnie stood there, his heart racing, the echo of his words still hanging in the air. For a few seconds, he remained motionless, trying to process what had just happened. Then the guilt began to set in, slow and corrosive.
He had hurt someone who had never been anything but kind to him. He had hurt her.
She walked aimlessly through the streets of New York, the cold of the night beginning to bother her, but nothing compared to the tightness in her chest. The emotional pain was much stronger than any physical discomfort. She couldn't stop thinking about his words, the tone of his voice. It was as if the Donnie she knew, the one who always cared, who listened and understood, had disappeared, replaced by someone she barely recognized.
She walked for hours, wandering around the city, trying to find some clarity amidst the confusion of feelings. Part of her wanted to understand why he had exploded like that. He was overwhelmed, that was obvious. But did that justify what he'd said? The sharp words still echoed in her mind, and she wondered if he really thought that.
While she was lost in thought, Donnie was back in the lab, but his focus had completely disappeared. The screens flashed in front of him, but he could barely see what was written. Guilt was consuming him from the inside out. He knew he had made a mistake, that he had said horrible things. The frustration he felt wasn't her fault, and yet he had taken it out on the person who least deserved it.
Finally, he got up from his chair and left the lair. He needed to find her, he needed to correct the mistake he had made. He didn't know exactly what he would say, but he knew he had to apologize, he had to make amends.
After some time, he found her. She was sitting on top of a building, her gaze lost in the horizon. The evening breeze swayed her hair, and Donnie felt his heart squeeze at seeing her so far away, so hurt. He hesitated for a moment before approaching. Each step seemed heavy, weighed down by guilt and regret.
“Hey,” he called, his voice softer than before, almost fearful.
She didn't turn around immediately, but he knew she had heard. Donnie sat down next to her, keeping a respectful distance. The silence between them was thick, full of unspoken words, but he knew he needed to speak, needed to break through that wall he himself had erected.
“I'm sorry,” he began, his voice low, sincere. “I… I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. You didn't deserve that. None of it was your fault.”
She remained silent for a few moments, and he almost thought she wouldn't answer. But then she sighed, her eyes still fixed on the city.
“Why did you do it, Donnie?” her voice was broken, and he realized how much his words had really hurt her. “I just… I just wanted to help you. And you pushed me away.”
Donnie closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the weight of his own failings. “I know. I know you were only trying to help. And I… I was an idiot. I was frustrated, tired, and lost control. But that's no excuse for what I did.”
She finally turned her face to look at him. Her eyes were watery, but the anger had given way to a deep sadness. “You didn't have to hurt me like that, Donnie. I'm always here for you, you know that. And yet… you blew up at me, as if I was part of the problem.”
Her words dug deep into Donnie's heart. He had been the cause of her pain, and now he could clearly see the impact his actions had had. It wasn't just the momentary explosion, but what came after - the insecurity, the doubt. He needed to fix that.
Donnie swallowed, feeling small in the face of what he had caused. “I never meant to hurt you,” he said, his voice full of regret. “You're… the last person in the world I wanted to be cruel to. I was just so overwhelmed, with all the pressure of being the brains, of having to sort everything out for my brothers… And I ended up taking it out on you.”
She sighed, looking at the horizon again. “I understand that you have this responsibility, Donnie. I know how much you carry. But I was also there, trying to share that weight with you. And you pushed me away, as if I wasn't important.”
Her words pierced his heart harder than any physical attack could. She was right. He had spent so long concentrating on his own burden that he didn't realize how much she was trying to help, how much she wanted to be there for him.
“I was wrong,” he said, with more conviction this time. “I was wrong about everything. I know I can be controlling and stubborn, but I need you. I… want you by my side. You're important to me. More than I can express.”
She remained silent, absorbing his words. He moved a little closer, reaching out hesitantly and placing his hand gently on hers.
“I promise,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I promise I'll try to be better. I'll work on myself, on how I handle things, so that this doesn't happen again.”
She looked at him, her eyes finally meeting his, assessing the sincerity she saw there. And she realized that, although he had made a mistake, he was willing to do whatever it took to make it right. It was a long road, but she knew Donnie was committed to walking it.
“I want to believe that, Donnie,” she murmured, her voice still tinged with a slight pain. “I just… need some time.”
He nodded, understanding. “I understand. And I'll give you as much time as you need.”
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, side by side, watching the city lights. The noise of life below continued, indifferent to the emotions that filled the top of that building. But there, between them, time seemed to have slowed down, making room for reconciliation, for forgiveness.
She leaned forward, resting her head on his shoulder, a small concession. He felt relief run down his spine, as if that simple gesture was proof that things would eventually be all right. He knew he was lucky - lucky that she was still there, by his side, even after everything.
Donnie wrapped his arm around her, gently pulling her closer, as if he were trying to protect her not only from the outside world, but also from himself. His heart was pounding, but this time, not out of guilt or anger, but out of gratitude. He knew he had a second chance, and he would do his best not to waste it.
They stayed there for a while longer, the silence now less heavy, more comforting. The cold night wind blew lightly, but Donnie felt the warmth of having her close again. She was still hurting, and he knew it would take time for everything to heal completely. But he was willing to wait, willing to do whatever it took to win back her trust.
Finally, she stood up slowly, and Donnie followed her. She gave him a small smile, still shy, but which warmed his heart. “Let's go home,” she said, and those words were all he needed to hear.
Together, they descended from the building and headed back to the lair. The walk back was silent, but the tension between them had eased. She didn't hold his hand, but she didn't push him away either. For Donnie, that was a start.
And he knew that, in time, they would find a way to heal - together.
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thursdayg1rl · 2 months
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ok omg im back from the concert
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every-sanji · 3 months
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cerealbishh · 4 months
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"You're pretty new at this whole relationship thing, huh?"
"... Yeah."
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#outer range 02x01#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#rhett x maria#um... idk i love them#but why would they do this to me? it's gonna sting so much when they break up#her teasing him is my favorite thing#but also her calling him ''wonderful''? my god the squeal i let out...#the smallest little smile and the way he looked at her before he said ''good'' after she said she likes how she feels when she's with him?!#now i'm rhett going ''don't do this'' but instead of with his truck it's with the show#my biggest gripe is that she doesn't help him that much with his broken arm... except maybe to help him shower? /hj#i get why he was the one to get the snacks... it was for the impact of the scene but still#it's great to see them laughing and smiling so much! love that!#i think she smiled at least once while her poor boyfriend was getting freaked out by cats#he could not keep a straight face for that long after saying ''what does that leave me?''#i wonder what he was gonna say before she said she liked how she feels when she's with him... was he giving her an out?#he has NOTHING pleasant to say about her not even a ''thank you'' after being called wonderful smh /j#tw: food?#my girl didn't even say ''bless you'' when he starting sneezing :(#i switched the last picture because i like the way they were smiling at each other when he got onto the bed#after maria laughs in the car after the buffalo run past them i think i can hear the lowest ''so are we-'' or ''sorry''?#and i think that may be because lew thought isa broke character?? but i'm not too sure... maybe it's rhett apologizing#but idk? maybe it's just rhett saying sorry because he felt self-conscious about maybe sounding stupid... or maybe i'm just hearing things#i think the way he even said ''okay'' after she took all the snacks was similar to the way she said it before she grabbed the snacks#look i understand not getting a shower scene but they truly robbed me of seeing rhett and maria with wet hair...#just another little nitpick but i think the ''i like who i am when i'm with you'' would hit harder if we saw maria in scenes without rhett
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cerealmonster15 · 24 days
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art fight 2024 attacks i did (2/3)
people w/tumblrs [that i could find to tag]:
@artoile
@palaeoh
@laapplepie
@mayor-skeleton
@gaminegay
@foxylovey
@narikine
@mintmoth
@theartbluebox
@thatlethalsoul
@havanillas
@mawwart
@extrasweetcoffee
@theartbluebox
@abeinginsand
@mansymdraws
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 4 months
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fav golden girl 👁️👁️
You do realize this is like asking me to choose my favourite hand, right? Or my favourite leg? It's like choosing my favourite eye, my favourite strand of hair, my favourite organ, my favourite --
Blanche. It's-it's Blanche.
#it's painful because i really do love them all so much ;-; and i *especially* love their interactions!!! i adore them when they're together!#but if i *had* to choose one then it's blanche.#and this is not (just) because of my big big crush on rue mcclanahan i swear lmao#(especially since i also adore both bea arthur and betty white)#i think she's just the one that surprised me the most!#i *immediately* loved dorothy as soon as she appeared on scene in the pilot. *immediately*. and i only loved her more as i watched#i thought sophia was *hilarious* from the moment she walked in as well#(and she had some *great* interactions with dorothy that endeared her to me even more very early on)#and it took me a bit more to fall in love with rose but i found her very funny and charming from the start too (possibly bc of betty white)#but blanche? i *liked* blanche at the start. but i didn't *love* her#i found her funny! i found her pretty! and i loved her interactions with the girls as a whole#but it took me a while to really grasp her character bc she's so different from me#but man. once i started to figure her out... hit me like a train#idk how to explain at some point i was watching and it just hit me that 'oh wow. i really *really* love her.' you know?#now i go back to the pilot and the first episodes and i *see* all those subtleties i missed the first time around and i *adore* her#but she did catch me by surprise and i think that's why she's my favourite!#i could write a whole essay on all the things i love about her lmao but there's already enough tags on this post#(if you'd like to tell me which girl is *your* favourite i'd love to know!!!)#the golden girls#ask
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spectrearia · 4 months
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project diva has me in a chokehold again..... got some new modded songs so now i can't stop playing >n<;;
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mspeevee · 2 months
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I usually say hi to customers and then immediately ask if they need bags, but I'll do the small talk if they ask me how I'm doing, but typically I won't initiate that cuz... Small talk us already so bad, and then doing that for every person I see for 5 hours?? No ty
Anyways I have this one customer who always does this passive aggressive "I'm good how are you" everytime I ask ABT bags smh like it isn't that big a deal bro trust me
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fantabulisticity · 3 months
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I FOUND MY NEW BEST FRIEND AT WORK TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I think she's this bitch
#she is genuinely the fucking BIGGEST wasp i have EVER seen in person in my FUCKING LIFE#and she is SO SO SO SO SO PRETTY LOOK AT HER COLORS????????? THAT LONG OVIPOSITOR????????#SHE'S AS LONG AS MY FOOT. LONGER THAN MY HAND. I LOVE HER SO SO SO SO MUCH#I FUCKING GASPED SO LOUD WHEN I SAW HER#she did not want to be picked up and she flew away when i tried. i was being VERY gentle so she pretty easily escaped my grasp.#but I LOVE HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR#giant ichneumon wasp#norton's giant ichneumon wasp#ichneumonidae#ichneumon wasp#wasp#hymenoptera#insect#bug#big wasp#big big#personal#friend shaped#also idk if she was asleep or just super docile but she let me take a BUNCH of pictures RIGHT next to her and didn't even flinch...#...when i moved to pick her up. she only had an issue after i plucked her off the tree and then she wriggled out and flew off#which like. fair. i just wanted a picture of her on my hand for size reference but i should've just put my hand next to her and taken a...#...pic while she was chilling.#oh i just looked at the size ref in that link and my GOD she was WAY bigger than that but i didn't get a good size pic 😭#maybe i'll go put a ruler on that tree and take a pic of the part of the tree where she was standing so you can see how fucking BIG she was#like. without her ovipositor she was fucking HUGE. i am in LOVE with her and i want to see her every fucking day#hmmmmmmmmm wikipedia also says she's supposed to be smaller? maybe she's a different one. she was HUGE.#like when she flew past my face i didn't have a CLUE what th#*what had flitted past me. NO CLUE. it took a second for my eyes to adjust and then my jaw hit the fucking ground.#i gotta go take a pic of that tree with a ruler she was fucking ENORMOUS#like. i CANNOT emphasize enough how big she was. i love her. i lover her so so so so so so so so so much.
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shirtlessradfahrer · 7 months
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hi sorry I disappeared for like two weeks but I was overwhelmed with the news that there's a significant chance I may be on the autism spectrum (and possibly have a nice side helping of adhd) which if true has a fuckton of implications for how poorly many, many things throughout my life have played out, so needless to say I am not doing very well
(and by that I mean I was mostly crying on and off for days, and then cried some more when I realized it will cost thousands if I want to get a proper assessment done and I'm not confident my insurance would cover all of it, and also depending on how much my hours continue to be cut this month I may not even have said insurance for much longer at all hahahaha)
#i'm so angry#thinking of how many adults complained about me and my behaviour growing up but couldn't help me at all#how long have i suffered for no reason#because i wasn't a completely nonverbal boy who liked trains or some shit#...actually i did really like trains but it didn't matter apparently#but learning about all the signs and symptoms in girls/women has felt like getting punched in the gut over and over#and all the absolute worst of my childhood and teenage years has rushed back to me with new context#and i'm so fucking angry and sad and upset#and now my mom is angry af too because she took me to a psychologist in complete desperation when i was like five#because i couldn't control my emotions for shit once i was home from school#i would just flip tf out and throw stuff around my room and be incapable of saying anything until i had completely calmed down#and this was happening on a regular basis and she didn't know what tf to do#and while at school i couldn't make eye contact or advocate for myself and again i just shut down completely if i was too stressed or upset#and several other things#and the psychologist was basically like lol idk what's wrong with her but you probably just need to be a better mother :)#just slightly more professionally#NO ONE ever mentioned the possibility of autism to her#and i feel like some of these things have...worsened when i'm at work but i couldn't figure out why i was having so much difficulty#and why i felt so drained after even a short shift#but then reading about masking hit me like a fucking freight train#and apparently my brother’s girlfriend-who was officially diagnosed a few years ago-suspected it when she first met me??#but idk what to do now bc i have an doctor's appointment next week#and i feel like i should bring it up because i hate just self-diagnosing#but even if i somehow managed to pay for an assessment (lmao) i don't feel like my doctor's going to take it seriously#considering he's been our family doctor since my birth#and apparently couldn't be bothered to take my mom's concerns that seriously back then either#jfc I’m rambling again don’t look at me
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you know, I feel like, as little money as I have, I still haven’t put into perspective how much I have that could still be of use. I’m not so poor that I can’t make a difference. I can still buy a meal if I go out. I can buy a trinket. I’m not so poor or struggling with life that I don’t have food in my stomach and a place to sleep. Donating like I have this week has me wanting to do something that I hope many others are already doing. For every cent I would have spent for myself, on groceries, deliveries, gifts, etcetera (beyond the strikes where I am not spending money on anything but Palestinian causes) I will donate equal or greater that amount to Palestine. Because if I have money for me, I should have money for others. This is not me setting myself on fire to keep others warm, I know I would be of no use long term if I destroyed myself by going entirely broke with no way to survive myself. This is considering things beyond medical bills and life expenses that I need to keep going. When I count groceries, it’s things like when I use Instacart bc I can’t go out, because even though I don’t have a means of transportation, delivery is a luxury and if I can afford to pay for that, I can afford to donate. If I buy something non-essential like some snacks or the like, I have to match it with a donation. Because if I can afford to buy that, I can afford to donate. And just due to the nature of being a reminder, every time I get my period I’m going to donate to sanitary products for Palestine, because while pads are an essential product, donating even a little bit towards helping others get even the opportunity to get the same access as I do is an important reminder. There’s $5 donations available for those, and that’s about the cost of an average subscription I would be able to afford— it won’t buy a whole kit, but it will still put money towards that goal. I may not be able to do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do. As much as I can spare, I will donate. I only wish I could do more.
#idk it kind of hit me this week when I had to spend some money what I would do to make an impact with my money since I had to spend some#that the policy of matching whatever I spent here with donations to Palestine would be a great way to keep up action#and a reminder with every cent I spend of Palestine#I only pray that someday soon I will gain the freedom to actually do some more physical irl work as well#rn I’m not in a safe place to do so without the risk of losing my freedom to do anything and health#i can’t even call out loud when my parents are in the house because any word I would say would be grounds to take away more of my freedom#like they did when I donated to Black Lives Matter and they physically took me to a public place to scold me#and have monitored my bank account ever since.#I’ve been using PayPal mostly for donations ever since due to that not showing up immediately but#I DID use my direct card to send. sanitary kits. they won’t win that one if they take me out to scold me though lol#anyway these tags aren’t important I’m just equal parts emboldened and frustrated#emboldened by the idea of a way I can make a more direct impact beyond sharing and archiving#and frustrated that even then my options are slim and I have to be cautious#I wish I could risk it all but I would be of no help if I put myself in a position where I was either homeless or unable to act at all#I hope this doesn’t come across self important#it’s just me making a statement that I want to follow#idk this is just me working out the complexities of my situation and what I can do long term#while still actually making an impact directly on the world both right now and sustainably
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arolesbianism · 1 year
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Almost got too comfortable with liking a whole 3 25ji originals and tried listening to a 25ji cover playlist before I remembered that I do indeed still very much not like a good 99% of their covers
#rat rambles#sekai posting#samsa has become one of my favorite sekai songs period and bug and inanndesu are both alas absolute bangers#but one of those is hard carried by the story its tied to and the other is bug so it just kinda plain goes hard#but fr they sound sooooo fucking good in zamuza and the lyricssssss god#songs that hit harder if I close my eyes and pretend its more abt kanade than it actually is#Id be lying tho if I said that they dont sound good in inandesu#like bro it doesnt deserve to be in my top ten sekai songs but it still is so#like it goes hard they sound good miku sounds good the event is one of my favorite sekai events its so unfair#y'know truly these three songs are representative of my relationship with 25ji as a whole if you think abt it fndjfbdh#I went into bug not expecting it to go so hard zamuza hit me hard but took a lil while to appreciate the other members in it and inandesu#stuck in my brain against my will#and mizuki fits into this cause theyre the only 25ji member that isnt tied for my favorite sekai character lol#like look they have good originals. just none that I like the group cover or even the misuki solo of#like lower is pretty good. I hate the 25ji version tho#idk maybe Ill like kitty more in the future if I end up giving it more of a chance but it doesnt rly call to me rn#also on a almost related note god I wish I could like the vbs version of hitsuji ga ippiki more but idk why it just does not click with me#idk if its just me liking the vocaloid version too much or if the boys bring it down that much for me but smth abt it man idk#speaking of the guys rip to akito for not getting the yy solo he desperately needed#bro is doomed to only have one good solo til the end of time </3#like Im happy for an but man I wish all of them got yy solos they all sound soooo good in that cover#also give me shanti solos because I wanna like vbs shanti soooo bad but smth abt it doesnt click in the way I want it to#also delete vbs egoist from the game thanks <3
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man-made-misery · 1 year
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Tw for illness/death
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There's got to be a word for something that's not exactly deja vu, but isn't exactly nostalgia, or fernweh, either. This exact combination of senses is familiar to me, but has never actually happened before.
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