#I’ve been using PayPal mostly for donations ever since due to that not showing up immediately but
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you know, I feel like, as little money as I have, I still haven’t put into perspective how much I have that could still be of use. I’m not so poor that I can’t make a difference. I can still buy a meal if I go out. I can buy a trinket. I’m not so poor or struggling with life that I don’t have food in my stomach and a place to sleep. Donating like I have this week has me wanting to do something that I hope many others are already doing. For every cent I would have spent for myself, on groceries, deliveries, gifts, etcetera (beyond the strikes where I am not spending money on anything but Palestinian causes) I will donate equal or greater that amount to Palestine. Because if I have money for me, I should have money for others. This is not me setting myself on fire to keep others warm, I know I would be of no use long term if I destroyed myself by going entirely broke with no way to survive myself. This is considering things beyond medical bills and life expenses that I need to keep going. When I count groceries, it’s things like when I use Instacart bc I can’t go out, because even though I don’t have a means of transportation, delivery is a luxury and if I can afford to pay for that, I can afford to donate. If I buy something non-essential like some snacks or the like, I have to match it with a donation. Because if I can afford to buy that, I can afford to donate. And just due to the nature of being a reminder, every time I get my period I’m going to donate to sanitary products for Palestine, because while pads are an essential product, donating even a little bit towards helping others get even the opportunity to get the same access as I do is an important reminder. There’s $5 donations available for those, and that’s about the cost of an average subscription I would be able to afford— it won’t buy a whole kit, but it will still put money towards that goal. I may not be able to do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do. As much as I can spare, I will donate. I only wish I could do more.
#idk it kind of hit me this week when I had to spend some money what I would do to make an impact with my money since I had to spend some#that the policy of matching whatever I spent here with donations to Palestine would be a great way to keep up action#and a reminder with every cent I spend of Palestine#I only pray that someday soon I will gain the freedom to actually do some more physical irl work as well#rn I’m not in a safe place to do so without the risk of losing my freedom to do anything and health#i can’t even call out loud when my parents are in the house because any word I would say would be grounds to take away more of my freedom#like they did when I donated to Black Lives Matter and they physically took me to a public place to scold me#and have monitored my bank account ever since.#I’ve been using PayPal mostly for donations ever since due to that not showing up immediately but#I DID use my direct card to send. sanitary kits. they won’t win that one if they take me out to scold me though lol#anyway these tags aren’t important I’m just equal parts emboldened and frustrated#emboldened by the idea of a way I can make a more direct impact beyond sharing and archiving#and frustrated that even then my options are slim and I have to be cautious#I wish I could risk it all but I would be of no help if I put myself in a position where I was either homeless or unable to act at all#I hope this doesn’t come across self important#it’s just me making a statement that I want to follow#idk this is just me working out the complexities of my situation and what I can do long term#while still actually making an impact directly on the world both right now and sustainably
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