#obligatory hitting him with hammers

[every-sanji]

[saturdays--sun]

when ethel cain said "i owe you a black eye and two kisses, tell me when you wanna come and get 'em" and when stand atlantic said "why is love a dirty curse? make it bleed and make it hurt" and when bad omens said "love's the death of peace of mind" and when movements said "burn yourself into me and leave my body charred, so when you decide to leave, i can write about my scars" and when ethel cain also said "love's never been more than pain, so baby, show me how bad you hurt"

[brucewaynehater101]

Inspired by the Secret Robin AU by dragonpyre on Tumblr and the genderqueerness Tim has going on with the Jane Doe AU, I've got a Mahou Shoujo Jihen AU for ye! (mangaka, Zero Akabane)

Snippets are occasionally non-chronological/flashback and unreliable narration ahoy lmao

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Okay so the Graysons', unbeknownst to them, have bloodline of ★magic★

A magic newly-orphaned Grayson has to learn all on his own, for the ward hardly entrusts his legal guardian so new to his life

And he wants something all to himself, something nobody can take away or order him about

Waltz's World he calls it, warping the lines between boy and girl, barriers receding

Aka Grayson can don a Magical Girl form that essentially trans his gender while she's formed, at least at the start

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Obligatory "Anon is cis and playing with gender through Batkids like dolls, her highest apologies for any fuck ups" Disclaimer

And also tw for small moments of misgendering by characters who have yet to be informed on batkids genders & pronouns

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

When Robin hits the streets, all Batman knows is that she is a child, one he brings under his mentorship and despite all his efforts, is impossible to find the civilian identity of

When she confesses to how new her magic is to her, that she's self taught in it all, he and his colleague find dead end after dead end to see if anybody else knows about her type of magic

If there exists others like her they're niche and hidden

Thus trial and error and the scientific method is their only way to help Robin come into her own

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Robin is tactical; hammered in by Batman, by Bruce, his guardian and her mentor

If Zucco dies, and it's so obviously linked to her, it could implicate Robin or both of her identities

She has to be smart about this

Murder had no place in Batman's care for her. Dick has to be careful about his search history on computers and what people catch him reading

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Bruce Wayne worries endlessly over Robin, now a teenage girl

Others too; nobody knows her identity

Dick is a blend of interested and not in the vigilante, opinions ever shifting. They both chalk it up to not knowing the young girl at all

Still, he dreams of a time he does have Robin under his complete care, newly adopted like Grayson, safe from crime fighting

When the news comes out that the killer of Dick's parents are dead, a weight is off his boy's shoulders.

"I have to say thank you to whoever did it." "It looks like it might've been an accident more than anything according to the cops."

Robin has been tense for a time, and still is

"Something happened in my civilian life, nothing major but I'm just waiting for the effects to pass by."

His poor girl . . . "I'm here for you Robin, no matter what happens."

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

The air and earth makes way for Robin's acrobatics, lights turns to her direction, and she's too nimble to be human

Too high, too far, too quick, too lasting are her movements

A cameraboy will never confess that whereas Dick shined with his quadruple somersault, Robin revealed it childsplay

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Jason is adopted right after trying to rob Bruce Wayne's car

In time Dick and he get along like a house on fire—

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

It's Jason who discovers Robin sneaking into the Manor, into his brother's room on the day he snuck into his closet for a prank of all things

It's Jason who sees Dick take Robin's place and screams

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

—And then it's like they've reached an understanding friendships with nobody else will ever challenge

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Little Wing hits the streets, partner of Robin

And he's as human as Bruce

"Listen, listen, he's just like me! Powers or not he's going to fight for Gotham, best we can do is prepare the bird!"

So Batman trains the vigilante Jason's age just as he did for Robin. He doesn't try to find his identity

The young duo only trusts each other with the truth

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Robin set ship for that off-world mission on the promise that Batman would protect Little Wing with his life

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"I'm gonna be visiting some friends dad, and I'm gonna be off grid during our stay so . . ."

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

there's A Death in the Family alright

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Bruce's eyes tore into Robin's, her face vomit and tear and snot stained

"Why did you never tell me who he was?"

Dick could only mouth "B— hiccup B—" He retched again

He looked away from the girl

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"I have a boy your exact age Robin, I think you could be twins, identical ones even, without sharing any blood."

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Grayson is the saving grace that keeps Batman from losing himself to grief

Bruce sits on his couch, looks down at the despondent boy's head in his lap. eyes hollowed out. hears neither of his boys laughter

He sees Robin's grief polluted face on his boy, and remembers not just what, but who he's fighting for

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"I never want to see you on the field again Robin. Not after how you've broken my trust"

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Batman does everything to find who Jason trusted more than his own father, who could have trusted his boy just as much, who was the Robin that dragged his youngest into the night

Not once does he think to ask his eldest what he knew

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Precious Robin photos are locked away where only he and Jason know

Because Robin is magic

Robin is useless

She has no place upon Little Jason's altars

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Cross-reference reliable articles and testimonies, and even a boy will learn that Batman is just barely putting in the work to not transform his justice into a suicide mission

Cross-references testimonies, and even a boy will learn that Nightwing puts nothing into holding back against Joker or Harley anymore. Dead or alive, she wants them gone

Even a boy will learn that Nightwing hardly patrols anymore

Everybody knows Batman and Nightwing ties back to Little Wing

Nobody knows where Batgirl went

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Not bullets nor fallen buildings, but grief losing three all in a fell swoop grounds Robin

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Distinguishing themselves from the rest of Gotham's upper class, the Drakes adorn their manor with artifacts of all over

Tim has too much time on his hands to not poke and prod at them all

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Once upon a time Timothy Drake threw away a wish to be treasured more than artifacts, to be loved and adored far beyond relics resilience, to last even longer than objects to get it all

Still he wishes for Little Wing and Robin back, for Bat Girl's return and the quartet of heroes he stalked night after night as they once were

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

She It puts its hands off of the mirror and peeled off its mask

The Drake couple's son sat there again

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

It's not a monkey's paw — it's close enough

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Tim's plan was to blackmail Batman, pick out its name, and leash the Dark Knight until he was mentally fit again

What it didn't plan for was for Nightwing to apparently know about its magic and track it down

It didn't think it would take this long to pick a name either. Heck it thought Nightwing and Batman cut contact

"Last time I trusted you with a child he died B!"

"I know better now, and unlike you I have the resources to train him to his fullest potential. Little Wing is proof!"

"How fucking dare you?!"

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Nightwing looks down at Timothy Drake, tears in her eyes

Dick Grayson-Wayne tastes salt on his tongue

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Between the fact Batkid would be forced to reveal his identity to Batman and statistics showing his increasing violence, how quick he was to put his hand on Robin's throat, versus to Nightwing, the first Robin, his answers is always the same

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Everybody agrees that the Second Robin looks delicate and precious. The birdie shouldn't be giving up their childhood for Gotham

That is all

Anybody can tell you what good the bird does, leashing the Bat, breaking Nightwing out of her grief, giving whatever the little child can for civilians in need, sinners or not

People can hardly agree on how Robin looks; she looks like my dead daughter, no he's a clone of my son! You idiots they look like those sweet kids I always babysit

All they agree on is that Robin looks as if they must be protected and treasured by their loved ones, not fighting crime

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Where Nightwing can hardly be touched, Robin recovers too quickly, even by its predecessor's standards

All but rarely, bullets, crushing weights, and strikes may all well be nonexistent the way Robin hardly scratches

Unless one has a meta's intense strength, they will find more progress attacking it's mind or delaying its goals

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Nightwing blows a fuse Robin hadn't even known existed when she catches wind of all the work its putting into bringing Batman back to the ideal hero he used to be

She doesn't let it overhear the fight this time

From then on she is always with Robin when it patrols

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Tim huffed as Dick clung to him and Bruce got to arranging himself as his guardian for whenever his parents were out Gotham

Apparently his magic was a filthy traitor! and made a link with Nightwing so that if he was ever in major danger, the heroine who pick up on it

Not only that, but it's been working as a tracker for Nightwing this entire time, the first time around wasn't just an ordinary magic thing like they thought

And they both found while Robin was calming down Batman

But why was Batman insisting on becoming his not-parent if he didn't have a link with him? Nor know about his double life?

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Batman and Nightwing are certain they know what Robin looks like. A perfect blend between Batgirl, the first Robin, and Little Wing, their greatest failures all in one

It's when they disagree on the more precise details of Robin's costume and it's features do they realize it wasn't civilians and rogues being tricked by the darkness 

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

It looked into the mirror in its room in the Wayne Manor

Scrutinizing it's reflection, it looked the same as always, a perfect blend between Batgirl, the first Robin, Little Wing, and Nightwing

Androgynous if leaning on the feminine side 

That ideal the Batclan perfectly displayed at its brightest, a living, breathing altar of their glory

It's teammates agreed with it, until last night it seemed

It didn't understand

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Jason Robin comes back magic

Talia's son and daughter tells her otherwise

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"Great work Robin," Oracle praised, tucking in some of its loose locks as it turned from its computer to her

The younger hero beamed

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Well then, if neither of them can be Robin yet . . . 

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

It's funny how Nightwing learns she isn't the only one with Waltz in her bloodline. At least, she thinks they both got it from genetics. It was alway an assumption on her part

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Spoiler becomes the reason criminals and rogues alike flail about uselessly, making long reaching swings whenever. Nobody spots him until it's too late, if at all

Invisibility his beloved 💜💟💜

Even better are the freebies that come before he fights anybody. Little spoilers that make taking his dad's and other villains men down less of a trial

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Red Hood's violence is distinctive even in Gotham

Yet blowing an entire warehouse to cripple the Joker for good seemed extreme

Then again, it was Joker, extreme measures called

When word spreads of a Little Robin Hood under her care? It explains enough for those without intention to stick their dick in crazy

And thank the Waltz, because the two will never confess it, but it was a trauma-triggered accident

All because the dollar store clown was pissy over names

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"Dad—!" Bruce's hand ruffled his hair again as the other arm wrapped itself around Tim

Yeah Tim wasn't ever coming out about being Robin if Batman fussed over the two identities this much already. It was a wonder Dick somehow outdid him. He giggled

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

'Big W for Gotham queers' a merry goon tweets on duty, not that she'll confess it over her dead body

'What happened?' another twitter user comments

'Red Hood uses she/they, said so themself'

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Bruce couldn't have been faster in adopting Stephanie after Spoiler spilled Cluemaster's identity

"Holy, your dad is suffocating. I'm not complaining but how do you get anything done when he's bear hugging you?"

Tim sipped his coffee, "That's sort of our fault for dangling two too many kids he can't adopt and treasure in front of him for years on end. Follow me." She quirked an eyebrow

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Every blow Red Hood lays screams how that bomb did

Their strikes keep her targets down, and the impacts of her attacks have a larger area of effect than they should

There is no keeping them down

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"Our dad is Batman?" Stephanie ran around the room

"Not just that, you're brothers—" It watched its sister turn to it and she squinted.

"Are queers," it choked on its coffee with her comment

"Me too Robin!" Spoiler said, running up to it to bearhug it in his own way

"Let me go!"

"Nope! You look way too adorable like this!"

"You guys are the worst!"

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Little Robin Hood is the most elusive of them all, no doubt hiding herself from his mother when out at night

The greatest of Batman's heirs he strives to be; She doesn't rest until she is the pinnacle of Human, the pinnacle of a Waltz

he doesn't rest until he's picked up his predecessors own unique magics set as a prodigy would, even as the learning curve fights against her mastery of it

She won't rest even after becoming better than his siblings

He must surpass them so much they could never hope to outdo their superior sibling

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"Yo," Stephanie said, as if it wouldn't make Tim shriek and leap from his couch

"How did you get here?" He made sure this safehouse was the most secure and secretive of them all, how?

"Stalker tracker." She grinned

Her too?! Tim sat back on his couch and screamed into his pillows. His sister laughed

"Want a spoiler on my dad's next puzzle?"

"Give it," wait shit the magic word, "please Steph."

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Cassandra fisted and unfisted her(?) hand

It was more of a man's now. Except she didn't feel like a man, she felt like— scratch that, she didn't feel like a girl either in this form

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Robin gasped as its legs carried more broken bones and injuries than it ever had on its body all at once before

This time the wounds weren't sliding off like water but clinging onto it

"Hood—" a blow to its stomach

"Replacement," the woman hissed at it, then screamed

Robin shifted to its side, resisting the urge to cry out in pain, Nightwing now sat on Red Hood, laying blow after blow on the intruder

And she was yelling herself hoarse

Its sister unlatched and threw the helmet—okay bomb, wow its ears were ringing—off

And then Nightwing was on top of a man

"Little Wing!" its sister shrieks, arms wrapped around the stranger. "Why— why— how?"

"Baby on board! Baby on board! Ack!" Spoiler screamed holding up who might be Little Robin Hood trying and failing to escape his hold. both of them were covered in blood and blows

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Nightwing sat them all down, "Here's what's happening, we're going to keep this to ourselves. I've lost all trust in Bruce with any of your well beings."

"We're going to make it look like Red Hood fought Robin and then fought me as I bought time for my mentee's escape. When Spoiler comes into the scene fighting Little Robin, Red Hood is going to retreat for his sake.

"Robin, you're going to scrub and altar the data in the towers to make this believable; Spoiler, you'll alter or remove any evidence showcasing otherwise; and you two."

Red Hood's grip tightened on her knees.

Nightwing passed a piece of paper, "You're staying in contact with us, I refuse to lose my family again."

A weary smile, "And we'd love to get to know our new sibling."

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

A ballerina becomes Gotham's latest sensation

It's a wonder he— "Gender neutral, they/them" They didn't get hired to perform at Brucie's galas sooner

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Robin blocked Little Robin Hood's katana with its staff. the latter swung at its legs. it latched its hands onto her arm in retaliation and knocked his blade from his hands

Pinned to the ground, the boy could only try and reach for her fallen weapon as the staff was planted right next to her head—

"That's enough training for the day," Red Hood cut them off, "and your final scores are . . . "

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"Big bro, big bro, big bro!" Stephanie dragged a girl right to Dick

"Guess what," her grin couldn't get any wider

"You kidnapped a staff member?" her grin got wider

"I kidnapped a sibling" she pointed at the girl, or rather, the ballerina their father hired for the gala

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

He took his face mask off at the worst time

"Jaylad," Bruce's grip all but clawed at Jason's arms

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

When Jason declared they wouldn't reunite with his father, period, Damian was incensed

Now he may just give anything to go back before they did. But since he can't do that, the next best thing is uppercutting Todd for getting them adopted

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

"No more heroism Jaylad—no more Robin—no Little Wing," Bruce said between sobs

Oh he's not a hero anymore alright

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

When Batman found Robin sore all over, more wounded than he'd ever seen, his heart fell

Robin admitting it already healed from most of its injuries by the time he found it flew him into a rage

He threw himself into detaining Red Hood, trying to sieze Little Robin Hood from him, and upping security so his kids, civilian or vigilante, wouldn't suffer like this again 

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Assassin, Talia, the League had trained a boy, a child to be an assassin. They did the same with Jason

Bruce refuses to let his children—vigilante or civilian—suffer again

Thankfully, with how the chaos of legally reviving Jason, and adopting three children in one fell swoop has cooled down, it seems maintaining a healthy relationship with his civillian family is all it will take to keep them from the streets

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Duke stumbled to his feet, and rushed to a window

They blinked and rubbed her eyes several times over, but its reflection never agreed with what they looked like

Actually, looking down at her hands, it felt and looked more like she was constantly shapeshifting; even his clothes, or hero costume, as was the theme but it never felt uncomfortable keep changing form

This was their meta power? He almost wanted to call out how lame it was but she had to maintain a secret identity somehow

Hold on, she—?

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Don't get Duke wrong, he was endlessly grateful for Bruce

But if Bruce was as good and smothering of a parent like his siblings said, We Are Robin would be down a leader

Everybody had noticed just how much Batman was gunning for Red Hood. Nobody knew why; was it a consequence of her killing his nemesis Joker? Because they stole the name of Little Wing's killer?

Whatever it was, the streets felt less safe when people could gamble on the Bat's activity in accordance to Hood's and be less fearful of the hero, and somebody had to do something about it

Even if it was an army of powerless youth, led by a meta

Duke prayed to every confirmed deity that Bruce never caught him sneaking out

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Dick stood in front of Duke. Duke who was in their Robin costume, oh shit, this was the worst time to not have enough light to flashbang somebody, he noted down to always a source of light or some absorbed for now on

Her brother clasped his hands and smiled, "well then Robin"

Duke's breath hitched—this was the end of everything it worked for

Nightwing, the original Robin took Dick's place, "welcome to the family" 

WHAT THE FUCK?!

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

We Are Robin's leader becomes Signal

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ✩⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

Damn did I run out of steam at the end

"But nonnie, why is Waltz's world accessible through so many different means?" Idk XDDDDD

Everything I touch becomes a fic I have an actual problem lmao

Extra Notes and Clarifications, apologies for the mess, I'm jumping from section to section as I write and copy and paste

Batman and Bruce have a clearer line dividing the two than canon since only Barbara and Alfred (and others I may not know/forgot from canon) are in his inner circle and aware of his double life—to his knowledge

Speaking of Barbara and Alfred, I haven't done them any justice, nor given them much attention

How the batkids having Waltz's World affects them by consequence alongside other AU elements, I did not account for, well I did so for Barbara but hardly at all

I just implied that Oracle and Waltz!Tim have a relationship, and it goes without saying Barbara and Alfred has different relationships with the Wayne kids than Oracle and Agent A do the Batkids

Back to Bruce---

Knowing multiple kids, most of them feminine in gender identity and/or appearance, fighting crime with only him as a well-off adult figure in their lives makes him concerned

Partly because he doesn't know how they are doing out of costume or what trauma they've covered up with the faster magical healing of their bodies

And also partly sexism since he'll have biases subconsciously at the very least

Honestly an entire fic made of this AU could have a focus/subplot tackling sexism, queerphobia, and other biases, how they intersect, + exploring internalized biases on the Batsiblings part

Bruce wants to have his mentees safe under his roof, siblings with his own kids, and full-time civilians for their own wellbeing

This pushed him to adopt Dick and everyone else unlike/quicker than canon from a subconscious want to make that dream a reality even back when it was just the first Robin around

Bruce abusing his vigilante kids as he does in canon, plus more if you want him to abuse them more than canon, is arguably even more fucked than in canon

Because I imagine compared to canon, here he would be investing even more into his relationships for his kids on the civilian and vigilante side due to guilt from hiding half himself

He expresses his love for them both even more, which will fuck with said kids coming to terms with their abuse. It's even more of an uphill battle

"Wow, look at that plothole-topia!" I say sipping my abuelita knowing damn well who architected it (me)

I never established how Dick learned Bruce = Batman or if he knew at all RIP

Hey maybe Dick and Jason never learns that Batman = Bruce until Tim comes and spills the tea. That could be fun

At first I was gonna have everyone's Waltz form be the "opposite" gender to theirs but then I got to Tim, thought about how I set him up to wanna be loved just like the Drake's did things over their son

I thought about how back when he was just taking photos, he had an idealized picture (pun intended) of the Bats, an idealized image. a concept; a thing

And how that could lead to his own Waltz form being one that used it/its like people do for things

So then I got experimental with it

Methinks Tim would be agender &/or gendervoid in Waltz

Dick eventually settles on the fact he's genderfluid, and later on occasionally using she/her as Grayson and he/him as Robin/Nightwing

Lets say it's cuz he always wanted to be like both is parents that his Waltz makes him so

He views the change in gender identity and pronouns as him tossing a coin; whenever he flips the coin to the Nightwing side, she sees herself female, when flipped to Dick's side, he's male

Rarely the coin tossing itself without his input and lands on the thin side; that's when Dick identifies as the gender she does in her other identity

Jason accepts that he falls under solidly cis since even they/them is dysphoric for him; he once experimented with they/she cuz he wanted to be like his older brother-sister

Then the lazarus pit happen, she winds up using they/she in Waltz form and he/him as Jason

Views himself as a cis as Jason; a demigirl as Red Hood. Maybe she's still figuring things out? idk

Since he had the Waltz World magic just like their sister who was Nightwing now, she could be Robin now!

Then she learned about Damian and Tim calling dibs before her and that made them and Dami fight

Damian and Jason call truce on the grounds of Tim being a common enemy and obstacle in being Robin, so Damian goes to Gotham with Jason

Damian was dunked in the same pit as Jason here, hence why he also got a Waltz form

for plot convenience, they are the exception and not the rule when it comes to lazarus waters and Waltz's World

He wanted to inherit the Robin or Little Wing mantle as Bruce's heir, and fantasized about donning both, thus his Waltz form is bigender, she/he, boy and girl; maybe Damian decides he's also she/he and boy and girl as a civilian as well

Damian's Waltz form is the perfect balance between first Robin's and Little Wing's fem and masc gender presentations, so when you know what to look for it's obvious she's bigender, boy and girl

I made Steph and Cass have Waltz in their bloodlines just as Richard does because I couldn't come up with creative ways for them to join Waltz's World like the boys, lo siento :(

But you can do fun stuff with three non-blood related people sharing the same magic in their genetic history

For Steph I decided to make her intergender, mostly female as Steph, mostly male as Spoiler, but uses he/him as Steph and She/her as spoiler more often than Dick

Steph views her gender as a seesaw; being Steph the saw in pointed towards she/her, and being Spoiler points it in he/him, but sometimes the saw does the exact opposite and sometimes the saw tips a bit less than his form's typical gender so she feels a bit more like a boy or a girl when in civillian or Waltz

She thinks she will reach a point where the saw begins to perfectly balance itself or get close enough that she feels more like using they/them instead but she doesn't know if her guess is accurate yet

Cassandra I think would flip flop trying to figure out if they're Gendernuetral or Genderless in Waltz form, maybe eventually deciding that using Orphan and other (nick)names is preferable to pronouns and discards pronouns

An idea I had for Damian, where he used the pronouns and gender identities of all the other batkids, got given to Duke instead

Since Duke is basically the motherfucking moon with how he absorbs light and We Are Robin is all about taking on Robin's name and duties, I tweaked his own Meta abilities to copy and paste their all the batkids Waltz schtick and genders since that's bascially his desire at the moment

Also his meta power converted itself into Waltz Magic 100%, no refunds, so that's gonna be a fun surprise when he claims to just be a Meta copying their magic and he's proven wrong, he's magic too

But an AU of this AU where his meta abilities truly are just duplicating the magic would be fun to check-out

Oh yeah, idk shit about the time periods the batkids grew up in or what it'd be like be growing up coming to terms with being queer even in modern day so I'm useless on that part

But let's just say that;

Dick grew up traveling plenty and was introduced to queer identity at a young age, so while awakening his power freak her out a bit, she takes it in stride

Jason has a more rigid understanding due to a lack of education on the streets, but after learning about Robin, Dick teaches him what he knows about queerness

Tim grew up as a rich kid taught cisnormativity by both his parents and others he grew up around

As a result he expects himself to be a man through and through. It's a bit of a learning curve on his part

+ in Waltz form it thinks its a she because it looks feminine, only to unconsciously correct itself while freaking out after transforming for the first time

For all Tim knows, his stalking did not lead him to learn about Robin's magic including ✨gender✨

So when the artifact grants his wishes, concious and subconcious?

Tim is confused about the Waltz stuff, hence why it defaults to its/it and doesn't try to force itself to use she/her pronouns, cuz its still figuring stuff out and more focussed on the Bats than gender identity

Then comes in Dick to teach Tim about queerness as he once did for Jason

I dunno jack shit about the cultures Damian grew up in under the league so I dunno how Damian would take the whole Waltz thing at first

I think Jason would fill in some gaps in the case Damian has more to learn about bening genderqueer; maybe the League and Dami even teach Jason their own understandings of gender

No clue how Steph or Cassandra or Duke would take the Waltz thing before joining the bat siblings

I should get into clarifying the magic

Dick's magic is all about acrobatics and enhancing her body in ways that ascends her ability to preform them

Tim's is all about being wanted; being the perfect image of what kind of person those seeing it want to protect and treasure above all else. It's outfit and features craft an illusion different to everybody else's eyes

Tim's Waltz form is to itself, an idealized all-in-one combo of the vigilantes it worshipped and followed on the streets

Continuing the "Treasure me" theme, Tim also makes Links with other Waltz's World people it trusts that alert them when it's in serious danger and allows them to track it down whenever

Plus it works when in its Waltz and civillian identities 24/7

and he can't control them, much to his annoyance, a wee bit of karma for his own stalking tendencies

Additionally Tim's wanted to last the elements and foes like ancient artifacts did, so it becomes a tank in the face of hurt

Stephanie can turn invisible whenever he wants alongside what he has in hand and whoever he touches; plus he get one trailormade spoiler per enemies to give him an advantage

Maybe in time the number of spoilers he can get per enemy increases, and

Jason is also a tank that can't be kept down and every assault they lay have way more power to them than other humans could hope to do

Damian has the power to copy the magic of other Waltz users, the problem lies in that it get exponentially harder the better he gets at their magic

Because again, she's trying to take in magic not not made for her, and as the family grows, he's run himself thin trying to master multiple magics fighting against it all at once

That could be an interesting conflict

Once he does master a copied magic, he's good to go, it comes to him as easily as if it were his own magic

On top of that is the much more natural body enchanting magic that make her a perfect assassin

Cassandra's magic lets them learn at a rapid pace. She had to as an assassin. Through it, they learn how to speak, cultural norms and other nessecery life skills

It also enhancing their ballerina skillset, launching their fame

Outside of Duke duplicating all his siblings gender identities, her magic is just like their canon meta abilities; it's just Waltz magic instead of meta abilities

Oh yeah, Duke also shapeshifts endlessly in Waltz form without pause, to look like one batsibling to the next, the most consistent part of her form is their Signal costume which still alters in appearance all the time

Other stuff I didn't adress oh frick

How does those a part of Waltz's World keeping it a secret too themselves affect the batkids relationship with everyody else?

How does the Waltz World stuff affect everybodies relationships period?

What affect does knowing Jason was an is formerly Little Wing have on Bruce, Alfred and Barbara throughout the storyline? On their relationship with eachother

Since Batman and Oracle are two of the few wholly human heroes in this AU unlike canon, Little Wing's death probably cause a huge reaction in the super community cuz one of the very rare human heroes fucking died

On top of that, back when it was only Robin and no one else, Batman and co. tried to find others with the same magic as the sidekick, only to come out emptyhanded; Is anything ever done with any knowledge acquired during the failed investigation?

Because Robin likely told Batman what little he knew about Waltz's World at the time, alongside other investigators when they tried to learn more or find other like Robin. That data is saved somewhere

After Jason's death, Nightwing distanced himself from Batman and went back to self-teaching, so Batman would no longer have Dick as a resource to learn about Waltz's World; he, Barbara and Alfred would have to piece together clues by themselves

And I think they'd have to learn all on their own Nightwing's inner circle so-to-speak are also part of Waltz's World

Batman is pulling his hair out because where are these Waltz users coming from all of the sudden? Where were they when he was looking for them?

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if that became the name of the squad since as far as they know, only they have this very magic; Waltz's World

How does Waltz magic interest with sciences or other magics or divinity, etc etc?

oh yeah another thing, Waltz's World in Mahou Shoujo Jihen canonically ceases the aging process, but let's tweak it and say that Waltz's World pauses a person's age at the moment their body reaches their physical peak, meaning the batkids will eventually discover themselves unaging, unlike their father and countless other people dear to them

Forgive me if I'm wrong I've got a poor memory

Also I dunno much about the actual Waltz dance, but a quick google search (ruh, roh, that cooked engine) says it used to have strict roles for men and woman

That's what Waltz's World is named after in the manga, it grants men a woman's body and vice versa, the two genders needed for the dance

But in modern day, where societal constructs of gender are being demolished and rebuilt in front of countless eyes (not to say that it never was before modern times, its just way more accessible to witness with the internet) the way people view and preform the Waltz would and has changed as well

This is all to say I thought I threw the Waltz symbolism from the manga into the bin when I decided "lets experiment with MORE genders!" only to realize it never went anywhere at all

By the Waltz, now my brain is cooked

My final idea unless I realize I wanna send another ask with ideas I only came up with after pressing [Ask] is that the Waltz dance itself could be used in a fic of this AU as a motif; so imagine a hypothetical fic with me---

Every batkid and batkid duo and three-or-more batkids all preform the Waltz multiple times throughout the fic

As their own understanding of their gender identities grow and change, the way they preform the Waltz drifts away more and more from how couples did the Waltz long ago, and they add their own personal flairs to the Waltz dances. the way they preform the Waltz becomes more and more their way instead of the tradtional way

It reaches a point where once they can confidentally answer "Who am I?" the can dance their Waltzes to the fullest of their ability and euphoria as a metaphor for the very gender euphoria they feel all together at the moment; maybe they even swap between civillian and magical forms during their dance

Hell maybe the non-existant fic ends with a scene of the batkids preforming that very Waltz preformance I described

I think I'm out of ideas at last

Go crazy, go stupid with this AU people, play with it however you wanna

I can't even begin to describe how ecstatic I was reading this. A gender queer batfam fic rules, but to add on it/its pronouns? Fuck. Gods, I'm so happy with that.

Alright! So, I have no idea about the Waltz World source material, but I'm chill with that. I like the concept as it's described.

Because gender is a social construct, it is completely okay to have different gender identities/pronouns depending on the social environment (or, like this AU, the vigilante and civilian personas having various gender preferences).

So, let's create a list to make the pronouns clear:

Dick: he/him (sometimes her), Nightwing: she/her (sometimes he)

Jason: he/him, Red Hood: she/they

Tim: he/him, Robin: it/its

Steph: she/her (sometimes he), Spoiler: he/him (sometimes her)

Damian: she/him, Robin Hood: he/her

Cass: no pronouns

Duke: all pronouns (does this include neopronouns?), Signal: all pronouns

Bruce: he/him, Batman: he/him

Barbara: she/they, Oracle: she/they

Alfred: he/him

I like the idea of no pronouns for Cass since Cass was taught language later in life and thus doesn't associate Cass or Orphan with pronouns. I also gave Barbara she/they pronouns because being gender queer is not exclusive to Waltz World. That magic affects one's gender expression (and also affects how the individual may perceive their gender identity in different forms).

Alfred is definitely in the background, ironing out a plethora of pride flags based on whatever he figures out about others' current thoughts on their LGBT labels (he's discrete to those who haven't come out or told others yet). He also makes rainbow cookies, multicolored drinks, and displays photos around the house with subtle pride flags incorpated in their colors (like those sunset LGBT photos). The pride flag photos are as many as Alfred can find, regardless if any of the flags relate to one of the family members. It's the dealer's choice on whether Bruce knows the specifics or if he knows, from Alfred's actions, that at least one of his kids is queer.

Might I add that I love that you addressed that Bruce probably has some subconscious sexism that affects him attitude.

As far as queerphobia and all the discussions they can have about that, there is so much to interact with there. For instance, their socioeconomic background would affect their queerness (as far as how they are treated within the community, by those outside it, by those within the various minority or majority group they belong to, what it's like for those with more or less money, etc). They could also discuss their specific issues regarding their particular gender identity (Tim with the it/its pronouns, Cass with none, Duke with all of them, Damian with using both she and he, Jason with considering himself cisgender outside of Waltz, etc).

Because I want to have more representation where queerness is normalized, imma hc that Gotham (besides Bristol) is accepting. There's various levels of understanding/knowledge into distinct labels, colors, history, etc., but it's normal to use whatever pronouns (or lackof) that people say to use. There's no reaction at all to people's various gender expressions, partners, etc. It's normal to just be chill with it in Gotham, but it's debatable whether the person quite knows all the details (like that interview: "How many genders are there?" "I don't know. I just got here").

Outside of Gotham and online, there's the horrid shit. There's also other pockets of full acceptance around the world like Gotham. Metropolis is one of them (which is another reason why Gotham and Metropolis have such a rivalry).

The JL typically doesn't care about gender standards. A lot of them are not from Earth, so those societies (or other ones they have been exposed to) might not follow a binary gender structure. Those from Atlantis are around sea creatures that can switch their gender. Wonder Woman and those of her similar background grew up around the same myths that talk about gods and people switching into all kinds of stuff (animals, different genders, trees, etc). There may be a few that aren't aware initially of the many possibilities, but they either become accepting or get kicked out (fuck queerphobia).

There may be some subconscious shit in these more safe spaces, but overall people don't give a fuck what you identify as or who you get with (or if you don't get with anyone).

At the same time, I'd love for Batman to have to give an HR-similar presentation on queerness to the entire JL. Maybe they have one every year (including ones for different minorities [which incorporates metas and various alien species]) to discuss how to help folks of different background and how to be respectful of their culture/identity/behaviors/etc.

Anyways! Love the AU

[silviakundera]

decided to do a Manner of Death rewatch.

I forgot how absolutely nuts the 1st episode is.

Hi I'm a coroner moving back to the small town where I went to high school. It's such a great place. whoops, SA victim. Local cop takes me out to get fucking hammered at The Town Nightclub. I stumble into a ludicrously good looking stranger and kiss him passionately. Then collapse in his arms.

He's my old school bestie Jane's date at some obligatory function the next day and hits on me with the subtlety of swinging a mallet, bleeding predatory/sketchy vibes. I...might be kinda, reluctantly into it. I mean,

but there's the part where hot nightclub guy suddenly (like out of NOWHERE) starts beating the crap out of another old friend and it's all incredibly mysterious. At this point everyone feels sketchy af, like we've walked into Twin Peaks.

and then Jane's dead and hot nightclub guy is the one found the body. even worse, local police say he's her boyfriend.

[yeehawbvby]

When the Moon Fell in Love With the Sun | Ch. 10

March x F!Farmer

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventual smut)

Chapter Summary: March's birthday/some pre-Spring Festival shenanigans!

Author’s Note: Another obligatory "idk what type of technology exists and what doesn't" (my HC is that anything does, it would be, like, 90s-00s level stuff? Maybe?), alongside an obligatory "I know gold isn't in the game yet, I just thought it would give the scene it’s in some more oomph."

Hope y'all had a wonderful Halloween and that you enjoy this chapter :3

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next (coming soon!)

With the Spring Festival on its way, most of Mistria’s residents could be seen scrambling around in search of Breath of Spring flowers.

Those who often spent their time indoors such as the innkeepers and store owners often took to foraging, to keep things laxed while still giving it a fair chance. Ryis and Landen engaged in their typical work, finding flowers amongst the bushy leaves of the trees and bushes they chopped. The Dragonguard would lift rocks (which meant Luc often, to his excitement, found some new bug friends in the process), scoop up sea shells to peek into, and even clamor into the shallow ends of the river in hopes of finding some stray petals flowing through the water. 

December went on with her days as usual, finding plenty of flowers passively, just as she had done her first year in Mistria. March, on the other hand, would nonchalantly keep an eye on the areas near his workstation by day, and head into the narrows or mines to hit them out of some rocks by night. He wanted to win – his ego was on the line, after all – but there was no way in hell he’d allow the others to see it.

Olric once told the farmer that the only thing his brother hated more than birthdays themselves was being ignored on his birthday, especially with the event that took place immediately after. He couldn’t stand feeling overshadowed by the town’s “made up holiday,” as he had brutally dubbed it. That said, when March’s birthday came this year, December wanted to find that fine line for celebrating him where he would feel loved and important, but he wouldn’t get overwhelmed either.

So, she approached the grumpy birthday boy on her way to the mines with two mochas in hand, some sandwiches in her backpack – two to share with March now, and a third for later, when she’d need an extra boost – and a small gift, which was nestled safely under her arm and wrapped in red cloth.

“Goooood morning,” December grinned as she approached the anvil. 

She thought the cheery sing-song tone in her voice would annoy March a considerable but safe amount, so she was surprised to see how calm his face fell when he looked up at her. 

He couldn’t place his finger on why he was so relieved to see her. It wasn’t like his birthday was different from any other day, he lied to himself before wondering why this felt different.

Well, it was his first birthday in a long time with a partner. Maybe that was doing something to him.

He sighed, “Hey,” wiping the sweat from his forehead and placing his hammer down. 

The wall December tended to rest her things against had become the couple’s designated break spot too. When the farmer visited the forge, both in the far past and as they grew closer, they’d oftentimes find themselves leaning or sitting against the stone while they chatted and replenished their energy. Today was no different. Once they were in place, March took both coffees from December’s grasp so she could set down her bag. 

“Thanks,” she said, taking her own mocha back before handing March the present, “aaand happy birthday.” He glared at her. “What?” “Did Olric put you up to this?” “Why the hell would I need Olric to tell me to give you a birthday present?”

March’s eyes narrowed further, but he didn’t make any further accusations, instead taking a sip from his coffee. “Well, thanks.”

“‘Course.” December held out her hand to take March’s drink again so that he could open it.

Taking a quick note at the fabric, which matched his hair almost perfectly, he wondered if December had done that on purpose or not. 

She did. She specifically asked Louis if he could fold a piece into the dress she purchased a few weeks prior. 

March’s eyes widened as he unwrapped from said fabric the most perfect gold ore he’d ever seen. It was shinier than even the highest quality ingots he’d casted, it looked dense, and gods, he couldn’t wait to work with it. He almost didn’t even want to, it was so beautiful. The chunks of perfect ore in the museum — which he’d already been impressed by, and admittedly was even more so upon hearing who their donor was — couldn’t compare. 

March always had a bit of a natural flush to his complexion, but there was something about how it seemed to stand out more when he grinned this time that made December’s heart skip. He wasn’t necessarily blushing, but his face looked brighter. And while March pored over the metal in his hand, December observed the liveliness in his smile, making his dark eyes shine like onyx in the sunlight. The way his teeth ran a little yellowed — probably from all that coffee and chocolate consumption — and slightly crooked between his smooth lips. The softer look of his bare arms while he let himself relax his muscles, which he rarely did around people. The angle and shape of his perfectly groomed, thick eyebrows, sitting above his equally thick eyelashes…

March looked up, meeting December’s blatant stare with a beaming grin. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen him look so sincerely, wholeheartedly happy without alcohol in his system, or a laugh blossoming from his throat. He didn’t even tease her for ogling. 

“How do you even find these?”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “I guess I have an eye for it.”

March rolled his eyes. “Or you’re just lucky to be good at everything.”

“Jealousy makes you look silly.”

“Well, you always look silly.”

December stuck out her tongue at him. March wanted so badly to shove it away with a kiss, but with Errol and Eiland walking past and waving their greetings to the two, he didn’t want to risk any more gossip being thrown around. 

So he glared at them. Eiland remained blissfully unaware and continued to ramble, fiddling with the Breath of Spring fashionably tucked behind his ear for safe keeping; meanwhile, the old curator silently wondered what he’d done to deserve the harsh glance. He knew March was a grump, but jeez, he thought to himself. He frowned while nodding along, still listening to Eiland as they disappeared into the narrows.

March went on, his eyes back on the ore in his hands, “Well…” he directed his sight to December’s again, “thanks.”

“Mhm,” she passively welcomed him as she placed the March’s coffee back in his free hand and bent down to dig through her backpack. She then pulled out a sandwich wrapped in parchment paper and placed it atop his cup. With a more formal tone akin to Adeline and Eiland’s, she added, “And your humble birthday breakfast, my liege.”

March moved to place his gift down on the anvil, and then took his seat in the grass, saying, “Your liege, huh?” 

December nodded, joining him. March’s face looked pink, but smug. “What?”

“I can get used to that.”

The farmer rolled her eyes, then playfully nudged him, “Well don’t.”

__

Once March finished up his work for the day, he decided to set out for the mines. December would probably still be there, but he knew she usually kept to the lower levels now that she had upgraded tools. If he went shallow, he wouldn’t risk running into her.

Or so he thought.

The first thing he saw when stepping off of the wooden, makeshift elevator was December’s pale eyes, wide and confused while she hit the finishing blow on a rock in her path. His expression was no different.

As she opened her mouth to question his presence, a small, slimy creature launched itself onto her cheek. “Eugh!” she expressed her disgust. 

Those guys were never very strong to begin with, but they didn’t hurt her much at all now that she was used to their stronger brethren in the tide caverns and onward. If she was going to be hit by anyone, she’d rather it be them — but she’d never get used to their cold, sticky, and almost slug-like texture. She ripped her assailant off of her face and flung it into a nearby chasm, promptly wiping her gloved hand on her pants.

“What,” she breathed, shifting her headphones to her neck and pausing her mp3, “the fuck are you doing here?”

March’s brain scrambled for a moment, before he deflected, tilting his chin up and narrowing his eyes, “I could ask you the same.”

December matched his posture, placing the hand on her hip for added effect. “I figured I’d search some of the safer floors for more flowers before heading out.” She took a few steps forward to meet him, then egged him on as she pieced together that he was probably doing more or less the same, “Your turn, pretty boy.” 

March flustered a little at the name she gave him and the tone in which she spoke. It wasn’t intentionally sexy, but he wouldn’t have known any better until she told him directly. His eyes widened from their accusatory squint to their normal shape on their own volition as he muttered, “P-pretty boy?” December nodded curtly, blind to her partner’s inner turmoil. 

The blacksmith took a second to just breathe. He couldn't go and get all riled up over something so simple, what with them being several dozen feet underground…

Or could he?

Imagery of December’s soft touch and supple skin standing out in contrast to the rough walls and caverns of the mines came and went through him in a flash.

He mentally scolded himself and shook his thoughts away. December wondered what the sudden movement was for, but didn’t question it. 

Next, March realized he wouldn’t be too embarrassed if she knew why he was down here. Knowing her, she was probably just excited for the competition. Realistically, they both were.

So, March decided, if she’s going to (accidentally) use words to try to distract and destroy him, why shouldn’t he do the same? He resumed his glare and rolled his neck and shoulders, before removing his pickaxe from its spot on his backpack. 

Then, he lilted, “We both know why I’m here,” tilting his head slightly down and her chin up to level their gazes. “So be a good little angel and get out of my w—“

A tiny monster almost identical to the one that had collided with December’s cheek just moments ago did the same to March. His eyes rolled shut and chewed his bottom lip while he otherwise froze in place, wondering, why do these things even exist?

He was positively malding.

December bit her own lip, failing to suppress her laughter as her shoulders and chest shook, shaky breaths coming out of her nose. She had to admit to herself that his plan almost worked. 

Almost.

While March removed that thing from his profile, December walked past, patting him on the shoulder. “Nice try,” she teased, before moving onto the next vein of copper she spotted.

March tossed the creature into the same chasm December had banished her own to before meeting up with her. He lightly bumped her hip with his to scoot her over and started to pick at the same ore.

“Nuh-uh,” the farmer laughed incredulously, “Go find your own rocks to hit.” 

March’s answer was all too nonchalant. “I want this one.”

December cursed under her breath. “Brat…”

She hip bumped him in return before getting back to work, accepting that she couldn’t budge him. Given the strength of their tools, it only took a few more hits each for the mineral, as well as some softer chunks nearby, to crumble. 

Lo and behold, a Breath of Spring appeared atop the rubble. 

The pair froze. For a short few beats, the only sounds to be heard were the soft chirping and pitter-pattering of cave bugs, the faint squelches and clacks and puffs of noxious air from the monsters that lurked below, and the occasional drips of the stalactites around them, their breaths firmly bated while they waited to see who would make the first move.

It didn’t take long for March to grow impatient, though. “…Mine.” 

As he reached for it, December practically tackled him. “No!” she exclaimed, using her last ounce of energy to shove her body into March’s line of sight and jumping forward, abandoning her pickaxe in favor of clinging to him like a feral koala.

“For fuck’s sake—” He stumbled in an attempt to keep upright, wrapping his arms around her and placing a palm to the back of her head for protection, in case they fell. “Are you stupid?!” he asked once they were stable.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” December didn’t budge. “Are you gonna move?”

“Will you take that flower if I do?”

“Obviously.”

“Then no.”

March sighed. She was light enough, he thought. He could work with this. “Hold on tight,” he warned, his smile sly while he crouched down and reached for the prize.

“No!” December jerked her head to peek behind her, her ponytail whipping around March and lightly slapping his opposite eye, to which he thought with a wink, ouch. “Wait—”

To her dismay, the flower was already in March’s hand.

“Too late, pretty girl,” he whispered into her ear. He pressed his lips just below it with a lingering peck for added measure.

Inhaling deeply, swallowing hard, and squeezing March harder, December understood why he reacted the way he had to her own words earlier. 

She slowly turned towards him, her hair tickling his shoulder as it drifted back to its rightful space behind her. He was already looking at her, so their noses were nearly touching when March noticed how his partner’s pupils had engulfed the blue of her eyes in a veil of black, like a whale lurking beneath an arctic ocean’s surface; and as his resolve began to weaken, and the urge to kiss her everywhere he could possibly reach strengthened, he wondered if they really needed these flowers.

“That’s not fair,” December grumbled. 

“What’s not fair is that you’re still attached to me.”

Without a sliver of remorse in sight, she plainly commented, “Hm. What a shame.” She leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, and then his jaw, before trailing a few more down his neck, purring, “Give me the flower, March, please.”

He held his breath, contemplating the entirety of his life leading up to this point; and with a strain in his voice that hadn’t gone unnoticed by his parasite, he boldly refused, “Never in a million years.”

__

The blacksmith’s resilience paid off. The next morning, the results came through as follows:

Celine in first place, obviously,

March in second,

and finally, a sad, grumpy December in third.

[beevean]

For the ask game: ❤ 💖 💔 💀 for Castlevania

Answered the last one here!

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

ISAAC

MY DARLING BABYGIRL ISAAC

He is not just a cock-thirsty shallow Joker 😭 there is depth to him! He's passionate, driven, so terribly embittered by being shunned and cast aside, yet he respected Hector and still cares for Julia, he refused to hurt her even when Cursed! He tainted his body in a show of loyalty to a Lord who only saw him as a tool, and let the clothes rot off his body to show himself in his truest self! And so he too saw himself as a weapon and took pride in that role! And yet he's a hypocrite who falls prey to his own emotions and desires, because if he truly was a weapon he wouldn't have been jealous of Hector getting everything he wanted! He wouldn't have been consumed by his own (admittedly understandable, Hector really was cruel to him) hatred to the point of dying! He did all he could to cast away a humanity he felt had no need for yet he was so terribly human, much like his master! And he died as a tool, and a defective one too!

fhsdkjghjksdhgkjh my boy i love him so much he's complex and fascinating and even relatable in some aspects but no one except my enlightened besties, mwah understands him and they reduce him to a crazy bdsm joke 😭😭😭

oh and on the same note if people can stop reducing hector to a shallow edgelord without weaknesses and softness that would be great thanks

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

obligatory show bad both as an adaptation and its own thing

Circle of the Moon is a bad game. I genuinely cannot understand what people like in it, because if you want a hard Igavania, OoE is right there and is less pointlessly cheap. CoTM clearly tried to fix SoTN's absolutely non-existant difficulty, but it went about it the worst way possible, to the point that even moving around is painful, let alone orienting yourself in this dim, boring castle full of dead ends that forces you to go through the Abyss Stairway over and over again. I ain't forgiving it for the shit it pulls after you defeat Hugh and you have to dodge those dark knights without healing up :^)

By contrast, I find Harmony of Dissonance very fun, I love the psychedelic colors, I love the chiptune eerie music, the game is so fun to break and speedrun, Juste most OP Belmont come at me.

I think my overall biggest take is... the games have a solid lore and story. It's a shame that they get put aside (not here on Tumblr, but definitely in places like Reddit) for the sake of propping up the show. Dracula's Curse has some crazy intricate lore when you put everything together. Games parallel each other, like HoD being written to be a prelude to Richter's fall from grace. You can get everything you need to know about Simon's personality, who otherwise never speaks in a main game, simply by that scene in Simon's Quest where he makes a grave for Dracula. The games are so fun to read between the lines, they hit that perfect balance between giving you enough information to get you interested and leave enough room for thought and interpretation.

... I also don't hate DoS' anime style. I think it's cute. PoR is the one that really got hit by the ugly stick, I think.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

^ Konami when they decided to quietly erase Grant from existence

Can't think of anyone. All major characters contribute to something. Maybe Hammer? I never cared for him, sorry, and his personality in DoS is hard to like. But I'm not sure he counts as major.

[totallynotthedarkreunion]

DEATH NOTE AND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS

So I have this idea that at Wammys house all the kids were given obligatory music lessons and then voluntary extra lessons where they learn to play an instrument because music is good for the soul and mind of course we can't have a genius without music lessons

L - he probably started with piano because he's got piano fingers and he became good at it really quickly, so he moved on to other instruments. He chooses to play the interesting ones like contrabass flute or hammered dulcimer after that and used those to figure out other similar instruments on his own so now he's just a one man band. His favorites are the low winds, he's got crazy good breath control

Near - he didn't really want to do the voluntary music lessons at first but he was "heavily encouraged" bc he's gifted or whatever so he chose violin and obviously was great at it. Eventually he got more curious and decided to try out french horn, and he's good at that one too but violin is his instrument. He doesn't play any others

Mello - he also declined the music lessons at first and was actually super opposed to it until he found out near was doing it, but he didn't really find any of the instruments worth his time. Roger recommended percussion for him because he likes hitting stuff and so he plays a drum set pretty well. As more of a concert instrument, he plays timpanis which he likes because he gets to hit more stuff really hard. He also tried violin at one point in order to one-up near but got too mad at it and almost broke it trying to fling it across the room

Matt - he didn't take music lessons other than the obligatory ones. Best he can do is kazoo, and he's an orange belt in recorder karate 💪 I wouldn't be surprised if he taught himself to play the squeezebox either

BB - he played piano because L did, but that's it. He memorized the pieces that L practiced and watched all of his lessons

As for the characters that aren't from wammy's house....

Light - he's a trumpet player and there's no argument. He knows other brass instruments too, like trombone and baritone and stuff but he mostly does trumpet. He started taking lessons when he was like nine and did a normal amount so he's no prodigy but he is pretty talented. I do think he's pretty bad at music theory though so he chose to drop it mostly after high school

Misa - she probably did flute for a couple years because it was the cutest of the six choices given in grade school but never really picked it up

Ryuk - the swaggest armpit fartist ever

Matsuda - I don't really have backstory for him but he seems like a soprano sax guy ☺️

[tubbytarchia]

I've been thinking about fWhip/Jimmy even though I've barely put in any effort to look for Whimmy content and just gotten notable videos/clips from other people, because I thought it probably had good cute material and I could redeem it for myself. And I'm so sorry to all fWhimmy shippers out there but my stance is basically the same as with (mostly traffic and some other SMPs, but not all) Flower Husbands. Which is to say it makes me feel pained for Jimmy lol. If you happen to be a fWhimmy shipper who's already put off then for the love of god you don't have to keep reading but anyway

Most of this is because of Legacy and Empires S2 but hh okay the whole deal about nobody taking Jimmy seriously on E2 ever, right, so when his deputy (fWhip) also fails him, and Jimmy in all his seriousness expresses his disappointment, and fWhip immediately kisses him in response upon Sausage's encouragement to do so????? And Jimmy lacks any good or defensive retort and then fWhip also starts shooting him as Jimmy's leaving because yeah sure why not!! I know to a lot of people this is probably funny and quirky but to me this is once again Jimmy's current feelings and seriousness being completely disregarded again like "omg shut up little cute guy and kiss me already" vibes (negative). Like I cannot begin to express how fucked this response is... Similar to when he made signs arguing against Jimmy's decision to fire him and it included stuff like "you're disrespecting yourself. You can do better babe" like jesus christ is Jimmy really nothing more to you. And another clip where Jimmy gives fWhip a kiss and fWhip INSTANTLY hits him with his hammer thing like why were you so quick to do that. And also why did you do that at all lol wow Im so sorry I think the more I look the worse it gets. Sorry fWhimmy shippers I dont think I can save myself from this hell

I'm sure they're way better than this in some other SMPs but as far as they go as a ship uhhh this is all I've gotten. Their appeal is that Jimmy tries to be serious but no one takes him as such including fWhip who just finds it adorable, and that Jimmy likes to be insulted by him...? This is what I've gathered and, obligatory: I'm not here to police anyone, I dont care, only expressing my personal thoughts from what I've seen because I'm genuinely intrigued about anything Jimmy related. In E2 fWhip just ends up feeding into the bit of making a fool of Jimmy and it hurts me the same as it has with all the other members driving this bit into the ground. Jimmy having trusted him and then having to fire him meanwhile fWhip is acting like... the way that he is, just makes it so much worse for me uwaa. And I obviously have seen very little of E2 but Jimmy is almost always so polite if not hesitant even when he tries to be scary and take revenge etc. (Eg when he was unfairly being doused in lava in Legacy, he STILL hesitated to stop that and as such made a very poor attempt to break out of his cage even when he was in totally full right to do so because that was bs. And his entire villain arc in E2). That and he always gives such love to any one of his partners, only for people like fWhip to be relentlessly mean and never return the sentiment to a point where it'd make for anything mutual... I think I need to see season 1 of Empires or something. There's got to be stuff there. There's got to be something. There's got to be some genuine mutually cute ship potential for this somewhere that isn't just them being buds. Although I think fWhimmy is too far gone for me. Pensive

[herrlindemann]

Metal Hammer - February 2002, part 1

Thanks to ramjohn for the scans!

Freiburg, Messhalle 2

What a week in Freiburg! First the Rotterdam hooligans attacked the city (result: twelve arrests), and then, to all the hardships, came the Rammstein fans. In the run-up to my little company outing, I often had to hear that Freiburg is such a beautiful city - with great architecture, an old town and everything that goes with it. It may well be that the Black Forest metropolis with its 200,000 inhabitants is " beautiful ", after my visit I can only say that firstly the inside of the McDonalds in the main station looks the same as in any other place, and secondly I couldn't understand a word of the friendly gentleman at the train information desk. Also, before my visit, I would never have imagined, even in my wildest dreams, that Freiburg could rock. But when I stand in the sold-out exhibition hall  in the midst of 10,000 Rammstein crazies, even I am a little amazed.

The actually everywhere uncompromising Rammstein audience already makes it clear with the support Clawfinger that the slogan on this Friday evening is "celebrate", and that's why the Swedes are thrown applause instead of cat shit. The good half hour of play is peppered with old and new hits: 'Nigger', 'Do What I Say' or 'The Truth'. And because of 'Nothing Going On': Instead of lounging around at the bar, a good three quarters of the hall moves legs or arms to support the Swedes with a loud clapping. That pleases - and shows once again that those who are said to be dead live longer. After a short break for conversion, the air is on fire: there is a bang, a crash, an explosion - the exhibition hall, in which philatelists and shipbuilders otherwise stroll up and down, sinks into a sea of flames for a few seconds. All the fire protection officers present suffer a brief cardiac arrest because Rammstein asks them to. Construction worker Iro Lindemann rumbles, ‘Mein Herz brennt’, and the motley crowd, made up of parents with children, motorcycle rockers, pimply high school students, bodybuilders and standard metalheads, erupts in the first adrenaline rush. Rammstein only have half the firecrackers and early New Year's Eve rockets with them for their only Germany appearance on the European tour, and yet even with this stripped down version there are still enough things to light without actually burning. Flames lick out of every imaginable opening: whether it's a keyboard, guitar or human being - Rammstein take no prisoners, spare nothing and nobody. Not even himself. Lindemann bends over and over again to bring the martial lute out of the depths of his vocal organs to the surface, while the back team whips him forward with powerful metal marches. Without much communication with the audience, it all happens in quick succession: 'Links 2 3 4', ‘Sehnsucht’, 'Feuer Frei'. And always another show effect. Whether with exploding ball lightning flying across the hall or blatant face flamethrowers like in 'Feuer Frei!': Rammstein put on big cinema with a small screen. The sound fits, and when it comes to the hits 'Du hast', 'Bück dich' and 'Engel', the border triangle dances in circles. As an encore, there is another fiery encore and the rest of the arsenal of pyros is let out for 'Rammstein', 'Sonne' and 'Ich will', the thunderbolts crack in time, and for 'Stripped' there is the obligatory boat trip over the heads of the fans. Slimmed down show? Not one bit of it to be noticed, on the contrary: After the many concerts this year, Rammstein is as well-rehearsed as the crew of the armored cruiser Aurora, celebrating their own little revolution night after night. As I said: Freiburg won't be forgotten in a hurry this week.

[insipid-drivel]

Every Yule and Samhain, there are rules to follow in the forests and swamps around here.

On Samhain, we cover our faces to look like wild things. If they catch you out and can’t mistake you for one of their own, they’ll take you with them. Sometimes they let a few come back, but those few are usually already thought to be strange. Mad, some would say, and what is a mad person’s word against them?

On Samhain, we leave out the libations, sweets, and cream, and stay inside. There are no decorations or carvings. When the lights dart between the trees, we know there are no headlights. We close the blinds. Sometimes, they don’t like what we have to give. One of us is chosen to account for it. It used to be my dad, but they took him a long time ago, and so I’m the one that does it now.

Yule is a time of joy and of grief. The Oak and Holly Kings meet in the darkness. One always dies. We have drinks for the victor, and snap the branch of the tree of the King who lost and mourn. He’ll be back in 6 months, but he always appears in the shadows one last time to me to say goodbye. The second shadow appears to say hello. Remember to muster a welcoming face for the second one.

When I burn the Yule Log, an Anna’s Hummingbird always keeps vigil over it with me. He has beautiful fuscia plumage that looks black when the light isn’t hitting it. When I feel sad, he’ll sing for me while my clothes start to smell like wood smoke. He’s not very fond of the fire, but he’ll sit beside me and sometimes on my knee while the log burns. My sugar water has vodka in it.

We keep away from the trails in the trees this time of year. The stags are in rut and have performances to put on and rivalries to run. We leave out fruit and vegetables as if by accident to ensure they eat well. Sometimes I’ll find posies of feathers and rings of mushrooms in the place of the last batch of fruit - usually apples - and learned a long time ago not to take that bait. Stepping into the circle is never worth the sparkly crap they offer as a walk-in gift, and the Unseelie King always makes fun of my clothes.

The swamps are different this time of year. While the culverts and plains flood, they also freeze. There are more harvest moons than you would expect to see, and I make sure to call my family inside whenever I hear what sounds like honking geese. That’s another rookie mistake. They’re never geese, and the guy that actually owns those things tends to vacillate between horny and gambling-for-your-soul, so it’s just a better idea to get inside.

If you’re on a walk before dawn or around dusk, don’t make eye contact with the locals. They find the amount of warm clothing you wear amusing and it’s kind of like a locker room hazing. Avoid anyone that seems unusually skinny and appears to just be standing in the underbrush, especially the one with the goat’s head. The more naked they are, the less you should trust them (unless you’re hammered).

The animal hair on the sides of the house is a sign of favor and we don’t try to scrub it off. We’re not entirely sure what animal leaves it, but some of it would take a ladder to reach anyway, and I don’t care that much. The same goes with footprints in the mud and snow. Yeah, they disappear into nothing or flat-out change into other sets of footprints mid-stride, but that’s none of my business.

The Morrigan keeps paying visits around this time of year, but aside from the obligatory shows of respect, I’m not entirely sure what She wants. She tends to hang out with the Eyes that you can usually only see at night if you have a flashlight on like a jerk with their highbeams on in traffic.

The demon that hangs out just around the perimeter of the trees is allowed inside for cocoa, but he is not allowed to sneak a flask in again after last year’s incident.

[zaramoonchild]

College, RIGHT BEFORE

“Hey, Y/N, wait up!” It’s only October, but the bitter wind cuts through my jean jacket. I turn to see Hunter, one of the guys my roommates and I consider the “hot guy room”on our floor. His roommates Drew, Dom, and Sean- all fucking hot.

He’s shivering too… Idiot has a short sleeve and shorts on…really?

“Hey, Hunter, aren’t you freezing?” Captain fucking obvious, learn to flirt for fucks sake. You’re just my little whore. Gag on that dick you disgusting skank.

“My balls are frozen, should have looked at the weather I guess. You done with classes for the day?”

“Yep! What about you?”

“Yeah, and it’s THIRSTY THURSDAY BAYYBEEE. Time to get hammered.” His eyes glittered, “You do drink right?”

“Of course I do.” Be cool.

“You gonna come to that party tonight?” I know the party he is referring to. Everyone in our hall has been talking about it all week. A kid that lived a floor above was about to get kicked out of the dorms, but his parents are loaded so they convinced the board to let him stay enrolled and to “fix” it, they rented him a house on Main Street. Tonight was his first rager.

“I’m not sure yet”. Bitch you know you are going. Your roommates are out of town, and you haven’t exactly branched out.

“Well, if you decide to, pregame is in our room- 8:30. Bring whoever!” My heart flutters, he’s so fucking hot. I slip my key into my door and immediately panic. What if I see someone, him? Well… he probably wouldn’t even know, his dorm is like on the other side of campus and there are a million parties. I walk over to my closet and pick out a low cut tank, blazer and skinny jeans.

Just walk right in. Hunter said 8:30, you’ve waited the obligatory fifteen minutes you promised yourself. THEY ARE ALL HOT, just go! As I creep closer, I can hear bed rock blasting. You’ve got this.

“Y/N!!! DAMNNN YOU LOOK HOT GIRL!” Drew is the biggest douche of the hot guy room, but I mean…. I don’t give a fuck, he’s hot. I look around to see a bunch of people packed in this tiny dorm. Dom and Sean are playing ride the bus with a bunch of people from our hall.

I instantly feel an arm around my shoulders. “Whaddup Y/N”, I can tell Hunter is already buzzing, “I’m glad you came. Take a swig of the vodka! We got sprite, Gatorade or goldfish… yes, GOLDFISH IS A CHASER DOM.”

“Dude, no it’s fucking not!” Laughter erupts.

“Surprise me.”

Hunter walks over to one of the desks, and there sits the half gallon of Kamchatka- 12 dollars a half gallon. I can already feel the shivers.

“Alright. If you want to party with us, you gotta prove you can hang. Minimum of a 10 second swig. You down?” Am I down? I better be. You need this in with the hot guy room. Your roommates will love you.

“As long as you do one first”.

“Don’t gotta twist my arm”

“ONE, TWO ,THREE, FOUR, FIVE… “

hey Barbie, can I call you Barbara? The music blasts as Hunter hits ten.

“LEGGO, Y/N” excitement surges through my body. Shoot for 12 seconds. Respectable yet not insane.

I hit 12 with ease, all four hot boys look shocked. “Welp, she’s one of us tonight boys!” Dom inches closer, “You aren’t going to puke are you? I’m not taking care of you”.

“I’ll be fine.” It’s like I can already feel it, let’s fucking party muthafucka.

“Did anyone call a cab yet?”

“Dude let’s just walk, it’s not that far.”

“Y/N you good with that?” Hunter really seems hammered.

“Bro, of course she is. She’s one of us tonight,” Dom and Drew put their arms around me in between them. “Let’s go squad…. Wait… one more for the road?”

“FUCK YEAH” who the fuck am I?

“Dude, if Y/N says it, it’s a must”.

We do a quick swig and pass. I feel fucking fantastic.

The 15 minute walk feels like forever but none of us give a shit. We are too busy enjoying the buzz. Randomly, fear slaps me in the face…

You can do this. You are NOT in high school, and those people won’t be there. You can do this! Say yes, live a little, stop being your past. YOU ARE FUCKING HOT AS FUCK.

We skip up the porch, it’s already bumpin. As I push past the mobs of people to the first open area, I am given a red solo cup of jungle juice, “Drink up”.

After

I feel a quick trail of movement over my leg. My left eye forces it’s way open, although there’s nothing to see. The magnitude of enraged thoughts build until I gasp, gripping a moment of clarity.

I’m not where I’m supposed to be.

As clarity slips, panic swells. The pressure starts in my toes, and moves toward my heart. It hits, it almost explodes. Pieces begin to stab me like a shattered mirror.

I inch my hands to my face, waves of memories flash in my head, Alex told me you’d be a dirty slut, physical pain begins to emerge, stupid whore wasn’t even tight, my leg twitches, I almost forgot where— where the fuck am I?

The smell is so pungent, I feel like gaging, but I don’t know h- FUCK.

Something falls on top of me, and I hear voices but I can barely discern what’s being said.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT. MISS ARE YOU OK?”

“JESUS CHRIST IS SHE BLEEDING, IS SHE ALIVE???” Am I bleeding? Am I alive? Where the fuck am I? Oh my god I’m in pain every-

I can finally see, and the realization of where I am makes me immediately vomit. Dumpster.

I slowly sit up, I have garbage, blood and vomit all over me. Phone, keys, purse- gone. I now understand that the voices are two people who live next door, “Are you ok?????”

“I don’t know”. My throat is killing me.

“Julie, I found her purse on the ground over there. Should we call 911?”

“Y/N? Can you walk?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ok just try to keep awake.”

I can’t though. I’m so tired I can’t even keep….

Later

“Miss Y/N? Can you hear me?”

My eye lids slowly roll open, and my vision becomes clear. I turn over to see Advil, water, and a trash can but the room isn’t familiar. I nearly scream when I hear it.

“Hey, it’s ok. I saw you laying next to the dumpster, I’m just trying to help you. Are you alright? I’m still worried I should take you to a hospital”.

“She’ll be fine. She clearly just got wasted and blacked out.” Her voice is chilling.

“Uh, thank you for taking care of me. She’s right, I’m just a dumb ass who can’t handle her alcohol. I should go”. Get the fuck out of here. You need to go back to your dorm.

“Do you need a ride? It’s 5AM. You shouldn’t walk..”

“Really, I’m fine. Thank you, again. I really should go”. It takes everything in me to hide the surge of pain throughout my body.

“Are you sure? It’s no problem, I haven’t been..”

“I’m really fine. Thanks again”.

Every step increases the pain. In the distance, the sun is rising and the blood/vomit/unknown stains on my clothes are more evident. The walk seems 50 times longer than it did last…. LAST NIGHT.

I immediately projectile vomit. Just get back to your dorm. Just get back to your dorm. Fortunately, someone left the side door propped (usually smokers do) and I’m able to enter in without going to the front desk. The second the door clicks shut, I triple lock it and walk into the bathroom. Don’t look in the mirror, don’t look in the mirror. Just turn on the water.

Whores like you deserve this. Don’t act like you don’t like it you fucking slut. If you don’t do what I say….

[deadandwalking]

ok expansion. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

with recent situations we’ve been a bit out of sorts but it’s just given me time to think and time for everyone to rethink themselves and their bonds.

Manasses was wrong for what he did, he is not being forgiven for it but simply taking some time to talk to him lead me to understand he had a lot of misdirected and unattended anger and made his mistakes as a result.

Vic’s moodiness, misanthropy and judgement all came from insecurities and fears, she was trying to do good for me and to do that she made people ‘earn’ her affections and trust. she’s learning to forgive people who make mistakes, or who can’t always meet her expectations.

Ivy guilts herself for her past role to the point of isolation but she’s made friends and started being more active, she even agreed to take another front to see her dad some time soon. she’s learning to accept that her past doesn’t define her and some people just get bad jobs sometimes.

Manny and Vic had a long talk tonight too (supervised) and they’ve come to understand the more sheltered parts of eachother, they know now that they weren’t as trusting as they thought but that too is ok and they can work towards that now (also Manny made himself look human so Vic could braid his hair and they could match, very cute)

Angel and Manny are coming to accept their duality and the fact they need eachother to work properly. Angel is still wary but he also sees the genuineness in Manny’s apologies and attempts. they have a long way to go still but my boys are making progress!!

there is a large group consisting of Lydia, Jessie, Vic, Ivy, Monika, Abbey, Meg, Mika and Nolan (he’s the token man. the diversity hire. he’s only here because of Jessie). this lot have been doing a very casual group therapy, they’ve conditioned themselves to be comfortable talking openly to everyone about their issues and i am so so happy. some more than others have been a bit reluctant but i can see them all growing and getting comfier and i’m so so proud of them all.

Angel and Habit are also very close and they are so cute, despite Angel’s constant stress lately Habs has rarely left his side and when Angel needs someone Habit has it for him almost immediately.

also obligatory littles inclusion:

Cassidy has been super good because she keeps hearing us talk about her dads but hasn’t thrown any tantrums to get out !! very impressed with this little lady she has been so good at calming herself down. she’s also been so so kind and gentle to all the new littles.

Chi is once more absolutely unbothered by everything but she has had so many cuddles to give to her brothers who have been a bit more involved, and she’s also got so good with her words! she can read her own name, Angel and Cassy’s names, mommy and daddy, fox and smart. She is also getting better at writing her letters!

Octavian is coping super well with all the work he’s had to do these past days, and he’s also learning to sleep in his own bed now! he still doesn’t like leaving his toy hammer when he’s going to bed but that’s ok, it’s a very nice hammer.

Ajax has started to come out of his shell more, he’s spoke to more people and lets himself be excited. he’s expressed his love for playing with blocks and playdough, and dancing. very proud of this one.

Elise has been very well behaved lately, she’s been spending more time with me and Angel and even told us when she was feeling a hit jealous without causing a fuss. very good communication skills from this little girlie!

Milo has been helping Ajax with talking to others and likes playing blocks with him. he’s also learning to not touch dangerous things without asking a big first. he also left us a note in the new headspace group. so proud of baby.

Maya has settled in fantastically despite forming in the middle of a mess and has been very patient with everyone’s curiosity about her. she was also very accepting and understanding of Elise’s concerns with her formation. very sweet little lady, very happy to have her

Buddy has been very calm from forming despite his character being more aggressive and frustrating. he’s yet to get close to anyone inside but he’s tolerated group activities and anyone reaching to him first. little man is doing so well, love this little guy so much <3

also more importantly,

we’re all collectively learning and growing together and while some people may have been here a lot longer than others, we are still family and we are getting to a better place slowly. it can be hard to remember they are limited to my own willpower and rationale at times but i give them leniency whenever i can. i know they’re all kids too. i love them.

guys. guys rhe heafspev

[charliekellysbitch]

Ryan dunn x f!reader

A/N: im sorry you’re about to read this, its not too late to scroll away :) also I wrote this in a state of awe after I had a dream so idk if it even makes sense but we’re here now

Word count?: 1.6k lol

It was no secret that being a jackass meant more fights than the average person. People had some convoluted idea of what you guys were, thinking that they could come up and hit one of you, or slap you, hell someone even stabbed Knoxville once. Having those kind of fans show up on a night out can turn an already crazy night into a blood bath.

You and Pontius were the scrappers of the group, anytime someone tried to start something the two of you came to the rescue. For one, Chris is truly a wild boy when he fights, just headbutts and right hooks over and over til he looks like Carrie. And second, none of these “hard men” ever wanted to hit a girl, so you kinda had free reign on getting rid of those assholes. You can’t deny though, your favourite part of a fight night was Dunn playing nurse for you when you got back to the hotel room. Years of him getting into fights himself meant he knew his way around a first aid kit (as did all the boys) but he just made you feel safer after a fight. He was just so gentle and he would brush your hair behind your ear, and kiss the grazes on your knuckles, god the man knew exactly what to do to leave you craving more. But no, he’d always just patch you up and leave you alone in your hotel room with too much pent up energy.

You guys were on tour in some random city and you just wanted a chill night out with no craziness. But then again, you had a tendency to hope for nights like that which would never come.

“Y/N get your ass out here right now or else we will drag you to the bar in whatever state of undress you’re in”. Chris was giggling as he hammered on your hotel room door so hard you thought it was about to bust in.

“Yeah yeah yeah give me two seconds I’m just putting my shoes on”. Looking at yourself in the mirror one last time you’re once again in awe of how you can clean up so well. It was barely two hours ago that you were covered in blue paint and red feathers, (some bit that Knoxville came up with called the woodpecker) but now here you were, in a pink mini skirt and a black tank top that hugged your curves so well. And yeah sure, you picked the tank top that had cky bedazzled onto it, that was purely a coincidence and not because you wanted to draw Dunns eyes to your chest. You don’t need to resort to tactics like that….

Wolf whistles greet you once you leave the room and you do the obligatory twirl to show off your outfit. “Dude you look so fucking hot, you planning on bringing someone home tonight huh?” “Steveo I was planning on it being you but if your too busy” you say fake pouting until the Knoxville cackle breaks through the silence.

“Christ y/n don’t be flirting with the guys when your all dressed up like this, their brains will short circuit” he continues laughing as he leads the charge out of the hotel to a street full of bars.

Then there’s someone whispering in your ear, “Steveo was right though, you do look ridiculously hot”. Swallowing, you turn to look at Ryan, because who else could say the same thing as Steveo but make it so heated?? His eyes keep flicking down to the cky on your chest and you can’t help but feel a smirk appear on your face. “Like what you-“

“HEY Y/N, how the hell are you gonna fight in those shoes?”

If looks could kill Chris Pontius would be 6ft under already. “Chris babe, we’re not gonna get into a fight tonight, that goes for everyone here” you say pointing at all the men around you, “I want a nice night out where I can drink and flirt and look sexy. I don’t want to have to bail your asses out when you bite off more than you can chew. Okay?”

With a mocking salute from Steveo and Chris you push on into the first bar you see. “I’m serious guys, no fights”.

Now if there was a book entitled “Famous Last Words”, ‘I’m serious guys no fights’ would be the first goddamn entry.

You weren’t in the bar more than 45 minutes when a group of guys come up to the booth you were drinking in claiming it was theirs and that you had to move.

“Listen guys, we’re sorry we didn’t realise someone had ownership on this booth, we’ll move out of your way once we finish this”. Tremaine was always trying to be the peacekeeper, and you definitely would’ve moved sooner but Bam and Steveo had started some sort of arm wrestling bet and even god wouldn’t move them from their spot right now.

“I don’t give a shit what you pussies are doing, get the fuck out of our booth right now” the guy was practically growling his demands and his little entourage were cracking their knuckles as if that was to strike fear into your hearts. Normally, fists would be flying already but the guys had promised no fights and they were trying their hardest to stick to that.

“Look fellas, let the guys finish their arm wrestle and then we’ll get out of your hair, no harm no foul” you say trying to placate them. And it would’ve worked, you would’ve gotten a night free from violence if it weren’t for the next words that came out of that smooth brained bastards mouth. “Sweetheart there’s no way these guys are paying you enough to use your mouth for talking, so quit while your ahead, otherwise we can take you outback and show you what a good time really is, bet a slut like you would enjoy that.”

You barely had time to clench your fist before Chris was on him. That’s when the entourage jumped in and Bam was abandoning the previously vital arm wrestle in favour of elbow slamming into the guys from the table. You started to get a few hits in too. Then one of the guys grabbed you, clearly assuming that you wouldn’t be much of a fighter, and with your wrists held in his hands he was almost safe. Until you practically broke his nose with a headbutt and put your knee so far into his balls you’re convinced he’ll have heartburn when he wakes up the next day. That’s when you hear the sirens and from the filthy windows of the bar you see the hints of blue and red flashing lights “GUYS COPS QUICK GO” you scream trying to warn the rest of the guys to run. Ryan grabs your hand and drags you out, the guys all following behind but when you get outside you quickly realised that you’d have to split up.

Running for a while, and winding through backroads you and Ryan eventually come to a stop in the middle of some neighbourhood. It was completely silent, no sign of cops, or in fact of anyone awake at that hour. Still holding your hand the two of you start to stroll in the direction of nowhere in particular.

“You have blood on your face” Ryan says pointing at your forehead, “don’t get me wrong it’s a good look on you, the whole bad girl thing, but the thought of that dudes blood on you is super gross”. He’s right of course, it was gross, but all you were thinking about was him saying he liked the bad girl thing.

“Hmmm so you’re into me being the fighter of our little group?” smirking up at him when he starts laughing.

“I guess you could say that, but I like patching you up afterwards more” with that he takes your knuckles and kisses them. This wasn’t unusual but with all the adrenaline from the night you just can’t take it anymore, you grab his face and shove your lips against his. When he starts kissing back with as much desperation as you, you moan into his mouth.

So that’s how you ended up here, at the side of some random house in the middle of god knows where with your skirt hiked up around your waist and Ryan goddamn Dunn whispering things you couldn’t have dreamed up in your ear.

“You’re so fucking hot like this, whimpering for me out in the open” he’s kissing up your neck as he’s whispering all of this to you. You want to say something sexy and cheeky back but all you can manage is a pitiful “please”.

“Please what baby? Tell me what you want, use your words or I’ll leave you here high and dry”. You know he’s teasing, that he’s as turned on as you and won’t be able to leave you but the way his fingers are barely ghosting over your underwear is killing you

“Please Ryan please fuck me, I need you, I need you inside me right now”

And god the smile on his face when you say that could’ve melted you, “well since you asked so nicely”.

Your panties are pulled off and shoved in his pocket and he’s lifting you up to wrap your legs around your waist. “You ready baby?” He says as he lines himself up. And just as you’re about to get what you’ve been dreaming of for months, the lights on the house your pressed up against come on and some dude is is screaming out the window that he’s calling the cops on the two of you.

“FUCK SAKE” Ryan screams, letting you down and for the second time that night grabbing your hand and leading you away from the sirens getting closer.

[erodasfishtacos]

Take a Hike

Prompt: When Harry and Y/N take the baby for a hike and end up being followed by fans.

word count: 2.2 k

contains: language, sexual content

Harry was furious. He just wanted to go on a hike  - like a normal family on a warm June day in a beautiful foreign country.

You were currently in Madrid - on Harry’s European leg of the tour.

While Harry had been doing press - you and Sasha had taken to the hotel pool where she could splash and enjoy the water all day.

It wasn’t without a eagle-eyed security guard who lurked in the background for shady characters and overzealous fans.

Fans - they wanted picture with you because you were Harry Styles’ wife. Not inherently famous on your own.

It was a bit odd, but you didn’t mind occasionally stopping to snap a pic with a excited fans. 

However, when you and Harry were out with the baby - it was completely off limits. Neither Harry nor you would stop for fans and paparazzi if you were toting around your little love.

She didn’t like the crowds and shouts that came along with swarms of people. She would slap her little hands over her ears, dig her face into her parent’s neck, and whimper.

Harry had always been protective of you when it came to these situations. One of the major downfalls of being so famous.

Harry had nearly gotten arrested when a clumsy pap had nearly push you over while you were eight months along. 

**

You and Harry had loaded up all the necessities for the five-mile hike on one of the trails right outside the city.

Sasha had a generous amount of sunscreen on and a little hat to protect her face. She refused to wear the sunglasses.

Harry had a pack for her - so you helped him load your two-year-old onto his back. He knew it was going to ache like a motherfucker but she was a bit too heavy for you. You opted for the backpack with everything in it.

The trail was semi-busy. Both of you donned sunglasses and hats to attempt to disguise yourselves a little bit.

Harry had even pulled on a hoodie - despite the heat - to cover his very recognizable tattoos.

You made it the two and a half miles in without any interruptions. 

Sasha falling asleep halfway through the trek with her cheek smushed against her father’s shoulder blade.

You snapped a few pictures in front of the waterfalls and beautiful rock structures. But you had decided not to wake your daughter from her nap.

You and Harry had taken an obligatory kissing selfie that would likely be your new Lock Screen. 

You both had made the mistake of taking off your sunglasses for the picture because you can hear muted whispers from other tourists.

“Is that fucking Harry Styles?”

“Yes. Oh my god! That’s his wife and baby!”

“Snap a video, Emilia!”

Harry’s noticeable tenses as he slides his sunglasses back onto his nose. Protective papa bear was in full-force around strangers who knew who he was.

The most important thing in Harry’s mind was his family’s safety.

“Let’s go, lovie,” Harry murmurs softly. His British accent surely giving him away if they heard it.

You nod anxiously - pointedly not making eye contact with the fans and small group that was gathering.

As you begin the journey back down the small mountain - you notice the group trailing behind you. Following you guys.

Jaw clenched, you want to scream at them to stop taking pictures of your sleeping baby. But you attempt to keep your cool.

It wasn’t more than ten teenage girls but it didn’t really matter who it was.

The girls are getting louder, more excited. When one of them squeals in joy of seeing her celebrity crush - who she had ticket for his concert tomorrow as did the rest of the group.

The noise startles the curly-haired baby on Harry’s back awake. She immediately starts crying - her hands coming to grip frantically in her fathers matching curls.

“Daddy,” Sasha sobs, grabbing at him as the girls keep snapping pictures and cooing.

Harry’s face is stone - attempting to keep his anger at bay. He was about to lose his shit and you couldn’t blame him.

He couldn’t always treat people with kindness.

“Down, want down,” she lisps, no longer wanting to be confined in her pack. It was also most likely time for a diaper change.

“Not right now, sweetheart. Please be good for mumma and I,” Harry rasps, reaching back to give her leg a comforting pat.

You look at your husband, “Please - let’s just try to make it out of here as soon as possible.”

Harry sighs, “I’m sorry, love.”

You brush his shoulder lightly, “it isn’t your fault people act this way. I just can’t stand when this happens around her.”

Harry’s slight smile from your reassurance turns into a glare when he realizes the nosy fans were trying to talk to his upset baby - who notably did not like strangers.

He’s quick to unstrap the toddler and shuffle her into your arms. You cradle her and turn you back away from the group. 

“Mumma, no cameras,” she whines, her words a little jumbled but you understood.

“I know, baby. Daddy’s going to take care of it,” you coo assuringly. Her fingers finding their way into her mouth to soothe her.

Harry slides her carrier off his shoulders and tosses it next to your feet. He’s trailing over to the jumpy, overly-excited fans.

“Listen,” he states firmly, speaking loudly over their giggles, “y’need to stop following us and takin’ pictures. You’re scaring our baby.”

They chatter a bit, begging from picture and then they promise they’ll leave us alone.

“Absolutely not,” Harry states, trying to stay level headed with these immature teens who adored him.

With that, he’s headed back to you guys. The girls shouting unflattering things at him like “asshole” and “douchebag.”

He decided to ignore it and quickly allows you to strap the baby back into her carrier. His eyes study your face to make sure you’re alright and you give him a calm smile, squeezing at his bicep.

—- 

The girls trailed off after a few more minutes of following us. Harry hummed and sang a few nursery rhymes to Sasha to keep her calm but she was still fussy.

Back the hotel, Sasha was freshly bathed and laid down for a nap in the second bedroom. A baby monitor sat on the bathroom countertop as you two showered off the sweat and dirt.

Harry was still upset about the incident so you decided upon a good cuddle in a warm shower. His cheek was rested in the top of you head and his arms holding you to his wet chest.

“Just want to be normal - for one fuckin’ day,” he huffs with frustration.

“We had a totally normal, fun hike. It wasn’t ruined, I promise. It’s our reality so they’re is no use in being upset about it.”

Harry loved how level-headed you were to balance out his irrational, impulsive feelings and actions.

“You’re t’good to me, I love you.”

“At the end of the day, I knew what I was signing up for when you and I got married. I also knew when we had Sasha that paparazzi would still hound you.”

“Didn’t sign up to be harassed constantly though. I just feel so bad about it sometimes. It scares Sasha and it makes me feel like a bad father.”

You knew he was about to throw himself into a downward spiral if you didn’t distract him. 

“You know what else I signed up for when I married you?” I murmur into his neck, letting my lips ghost over his hammering pulse.

“Wha’s that?” He asks genuinely, a little slow on the uptake because of how deep in thought he was.

“That you would fuck me whenever I wanted,” you nearly purr, landing a not-so-gentle nip to the vein protruding on his neck.

“Is tha’ right? Put a ring on your finger and now I gotta give you my cock whenever you please?” He grunts at your teeth pinching his sensitive skin.

It’s amazing how it takes little to no effort to get this man in the mood.

“Mmm, if you want to be a good, dutiful husband,” you taunt - knowing he’ll take the bait.

“Am I not a good husband, pet? I fuck you any chance you let me. Give it to you anytime time you wan’ it. You know that.”

His hand is tugging your thigh up roughly, making your centers align with delicious pressure as he slips right between your folds.

“Harry,” Y/N groans, your head falling down to watch where he’s teasingly grinding his cock against your entrance and clit.

“Want me t’put it in, love?” He drawls like he has all the time in the world. The water pelting on his back making him pink.

“Ple-please,” you choke out, nipples harden against his chest even in the warmth of the shower. Sensitive with every brush against his smooth pecs. 

“You know what else you signed up for when y’married me?” He asks, his voice as deep and smooth as honey.

“What?” I reply, whining each time he teases at pushing in.

“That when you beg for my prick - you’ll be a good girl and take it.” 

With that, he’s thrusting up into you with full force. His sharp hipbones meeting the plushy, soft skin of yours.

“Ooh, oh fuck,” Y/N gasps, wrapping an arm around his neck as he presses brushing marks into your thigh where he’s holding you for leverage.

“C’mon, you can take it,” your husband goads, relentlessly hitting the spot that send licks of flames of your spine.

Your legs are feeling weak with how hard he’s pounding into you. He is so intuned with your body that he moves his hands to you backside.

He lifts you up easily, your legs wrapped around his waist, and his presses you back into the cold tile wall. 

He was so fucking good. How’d you manage to marry him? Unexplainable. 

“Am I good husband? Fuck you well enough?” He hisses against your open mouth as you pant heavily.

“So so good, H. Best husband ever,” you whimper, welcoming the friction from his pelvis against your swollen bud.

“Sweet girl,” he murmurs happily, “I think you deserve to come”

You throw your head back as he speeds up, fingers reaching to flick at your nerves - just on the right side of painful.

It’s just what you needed to climax. He always somehow knew what you needed. His fingers are consistent as he lets you ride it out.

It is only a few more rough thrusts before he’s cursing and coming as well. His hand grasping harshly at your jaw to bring you into a searing kiss.

“Never gonna get sick of watchin’ you come on my cock,” he chuckles, carefully placing your feet back on the ground but keeping a tight hold of your hips.

You lean in to give him a quick but meaningful kiss before going about cleaning your body again after the mess you two created. 

It takes a little longer than necessarily due to you constantly having to bat his wandering hands away from your body.

—-

It dark out now, the city of Madrid illuminated through the large windows of the high-rise hotel.

Sasha was exhausted after the hike and full day at the pool - despite napping twice. She was always out like a light around eight-thirty

You were tightly tucked into Harry’s side, head resting on his shoulder. Your eyes becoming bleary from drowsiness. 

Your toddler was sprawled out on Harry’s chest, fast asleep with one of your husband’s large hands resting on her back. 

Harry was scrolling aimlessly through his phone when he chuckle softly, handing you his mobile to see what was on the screen.

It was a video-recording of an Instagram Live. 

The video forwarded by Jeff. The volume low to not disturb your daughter.

It was a teenager girl who looks unpleasantly familiar.

“Um - yeah. So we saw him and we were hiking freaking out. ‘Cause like we’re going to his concert tomorrow.”

Then girls eyes flick to the commenters to answer questions.

“He had his baby. His wife was there too.”

“No, so he was so unfriendly! He flipped out because we wanted an autograph!”

The girl was mimicking Harry’s thick accent, “when we asked for a picture - he legit said ‘absolutely not.’”

I shake my head at the girl’s antics, “how dare you not take a photo. You’re such a dick.” You tease.

Harry smirks, taking the phone back and tossing it on the cushion. His hand rubbing gentle circles on his sleepy baby.

“None of tha’ matters,” Harry says softly, “I don’t care what anybody but you thinks ‘bout me. At the end of the day, as long as I have you and the bab - I’ll be happy.”

[spookyboywhump]

Yo this drabble has been due for. A long time. But better late than never right-

Some content early on in Zander’s time with Cain

CW: Charles Whitaker is a big part of this one so obligatory child abuse warning (Cain is an adult in this piece though), pet whump, dehumanization, hand whump, brief mention of spiders

***

Daniel- no, Zander, learned the dynamic of the household within the first few days. Cain owned him, and though he made a genuine effort to assert that, he wasn’t very good at it. Cain got angry quickly, he got frustrated with any disobedience, but it was more discouragement than anything, as if he were irritated he couldn’t handle his own dog.

Cain, was owned by his father- only to be referred to as Sir or Mr. Whitaker, from Zander anyway, almost the same from Cain he realized. Cain was his son, but Zander quickly picked up on the fact that Mr. Whitaker treated him the way he expected Cain to treat Zander; like an animal.

As much as he didn’t like Cain, he didn’t like the way his father spoke to him more. He didn’t blame him from seeming to avoid the man, dragging Zander from the room whenever he came in, hiding in his room while his father was home, keeping Zander very close when he had to be around him. His father was rude, condescending, and he could see that Cain was anxious and uncomfortable every time they interacted.

He didn’t expect it to be this bad though.

It started out as an argument, though Zander wasn’t even sure what it was about. He had tuned out their conversation as he usually did, the easiest way to keep himself sane. They were in Mr. Whitaker’s office at the time, and he’d gotten caught up in watching the tarantulas in their glass tanks, trying to remember if he knew anything about the spiders.

It was a sound that startled him to attention, and at first he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He looked up from his spot on the floor, closer to the desk than where the two men were. Mr. Whitaker looked furious, a look that was even scaring him, and Cain… he was holding one hand to his face, visibly shaking. Zander quickly realized what had happened, and for a moment he was too shocked to even think straight.

He knew that Mr. Whitaker was a terrible person, he’d known since he’d first met the man, but this was… different. This wasn’t something Zander had experienced or even witnessed before, and as much as he didn’t like Cain, he still didn’t think he deserved that.

“Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you!” He shouted, roughly grabbing Cain by the arm. Zander barely thought before he jumped to his feet, anger causing him to act quicker than his common sense could tell him not to. He had raised his hand as if prepared to hit him again, and Zander was quick to roughly grab his wrist, his grip tight to keep him from further hurting Cain.

“Hey!” He snapped, glaring at the man, “Don’t fucking touch him!” For a moment Mr. Whitaker looked shocked that somebody would *dare* stand up to him, but that quickly turned to anger, and though it terrified Zander he still didn’t back off.

“Cain.” The man said through gritted teeth, “Call your dog off, or you're not going to have one much longer.” Zander didn’t like the implications of his words, but he only spared a brief glance at Cain, who seemed to try and compose himself.

“Zander, back off.” He said, almost sternly, but his voice was shaking, eyes almost pleading with him.

“Why?! So he can just fucking hit you some more?!”

“Zander, now.” He said, more of an order this time. He didn’t understand why, and though it just made him angry, he did let go, turning his glare back to Mr. Whitaker.

“Honestly Cain, you can’t be so useless that it’s that hard for you to control your damn dog!” Mr. Whitaker snapped at him. When Zander looked at him he saw the fear on his face, he saw how it quickly shifted to hurt. He didn’t even know Cain could feel hurt.

“I-I’m sorry, father, I’m going- I’m going to fix it, I’ll make him b-behave.” He stammered, desperately trying to end the conversation.

“You fucking better.” He said sternly. “Otherwise you’re going to end up just like him- another useless dog.”

Zander didn’t know why it set him off so much. It already pissed him off that he had hit Cain, but that threat in particular, threatening his son to put him in the same position that he was in now, something in him completely snapped. He moved without thinking, before he could tell himself it was a bad idea he’d balled up his fist and swung, punching him straight in the jaw.

Mr. Whitaker had stumbled back, Zander figured he hadn’t hit him hard enough, and he reacted quicker than he expected. He tried to move out of the way, thinking he was going to hit him back, but instead he grabbed him by the ear, his fingers catching on one of his hoop earrings.

“Fucking let go of me!” Zander snapped, trying to jerk back before he realized what he was holding onto, and instead of stopping him Mr. Whitaker gave a harsh yank, and suddenly Zander was able to step back without a problem. He felt the stinging from his ear but he assumed that was just from having it pulled on, but first he saw Cain staring at him with wide eyes, then he saw Mr. Whitaker, and the fact he was holding his earring still. He still didn’t quite get it, assuming it had just come off, but when he reached his hand up and touched his ear he quickly realized he was bleeding, jerking his hand away immediately to see blood on his fingers. It still didn’t hurt as much as he thought it should, he was more stunned than anything, which made it easy for Mr. Whitaker to suddenly grab him by the hair, dragging him from the room.

“You dumb fucking mutt,” He snarled, “You need to learn your goddamn place before I put you six feet under.”

“Fuck you! Let go of me!” Zander yelled, though he wasn’t having much luck at getting himself free. He was dragged down the hall, only to be thrown down the stairs, crying out in pain when he hit the bottom. His head had smacked against the hard floor and he swore he blacked out for a moment, dazed and in pain as he sat up. He didn’t get a chance to get away, he was too slow and he ended up being grabbed by the collar, dragged the rest of the way to that awful, sterile room down the hall from his cell. He’d only experienced it once so far, but he had a feeling that it would be a common occurrence. He was left on one side of the room, a short chain clipped to his collar and keeping him on his knees, forced to face the wall he was chained to.

“Raise your hand and hold it against the wall, boy.” He ordered him, but Zander didn’t move, instead he was trying to get himself free from the chain. After grabbing whatever it was he needed Mr. Whitaker stormed back over, he grabbed his wrist and yanked his arm up, forcing him to place the palm of his hand against the wall.

“The fuck are you doing?” Zander tried to see what he was planning, and his eyes went wide at the sight of the hammer he held, which he only saw just as it was brought down hard on the back of his hand.

He howled in pain, loud enough to block out the sickening sound of his bones breaking, his eyes screwed shut as he tried to jerk his hand away, but Mr. Whitaker had an iron grip on his wrist and even the slightest movement caused pain to shoot through his hand; he wasn’t sure he could even move his fingers at this point. He thought that would be the end of it, but he drew back again and once again his hand was hit with the hammer, harder than last time, and he only felt the excruciating pain for a split second before he passed out, the only relief he could possibly get in this situation.

***

He was still in that room when he woke up, but he wasn’t chained up anymore. He was laying flat on his back, staring up at the lights that were far too bright for him right now. He didn’t feel any pain at first, not until he tried to move, even the slightest twitch of his fingers brought all that agony back, it felt like he’d been hit a third time. He hissed in pain, squeezing his eyes shut again.

“Don’t move.” It was Cain, which for once, was of some relief to him. “Your hand is fucked.”

“I can feel that…” He muttered. He could feel blood had dried down the side of his neck, between getting thrown down the stairs and having his hand destroyed, he’d completely forgotten about his ear. He opened his eyes as Cain came over to him, and the first thing he noticed was his busted lip. “Fuck, did he-“

“Don’t.” He said bluntly. He knelt down beside him and helped him sit up, Zander wincing as he did so. Cain had brought a wet rag with him, doing his best to wipe away the blood that had dried on him. “You should consider yourself lucky. He’s done a lot worse to people for a lot less.”

“I don’t feel lucky.” He said, finally daring to look at his hand. He could only look for a second, it looked wrong and he had to look away before he passed out again. “Why are you helping me…?” He asked.

“Why did you punch my father?”

“He deserved it.” He shrugged, whimpering as even that movement hurt his hand more.

“And you deserve this. At least, this once you do.” He said, finally satisfied with having cleaned away most of the blood. “Your hand is going to hurt for a while, he said you aren’t getting it fixed until tomorrow.” Zander wasn’t entirely sure if this could be fixed, but he decided to just hope for the best, not that there was much else he could do.

Cain helped him back to his cell so he could at least be miserable on his bed. He’d never been in this much pain before, it wasn’t the first time he’d broken a bone, but when he broke his arm he’d been immediately rushed to a hospital, both his parents had been there, he wasn’t just left to suffer for hours. He felt sick to his stomach, even more so when he looked at Cain again after being helped to his bed and realized there was more than the split lip, the red marks on his face, around his neck. It made him angry all over again.

“Dude, are you- are you okay…?”

“I said don’t.” Cain snapped at him. “Just- just stop, okay? None of that concerns you, just, stay out of it. Sit down, stay quiet, just… pretend it’s not happening.”

“I can’t do that-“

“Well you’re going to have to.” He said. “It’s better for both of us, okay?” He hadn’t actually seen Cain like this yet, it seemed to come from out of nowhere but it was odd enough to him that he knew he was serious, that for once, he might want to actually listen to him. Well, he didn’t want to, but he might have to.

“Fine…” He muttered, and Cain seemed relieved.

“Thank you.” He sighed. “Try… try to take it easy for the rest of the night, okay? I don’t want your hand to get any worse.”

“Right…” He watched him leave the room, he seemed to hesitate for a moment but he left without another word, the door slamming shut behind him, leaving Zander alone in the dark room. He had no intention of getting up to bother with the light, in fact he tried his best to not move at all, tried to ignore the persistent aching pain that made him sick and brought tears to his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned against the wall, taking a shuddering breath and hoping desperately that Cain was serious about him getting treatment.

***

Tag List: @whumpthatboy , @galaxywhump , @legallylibra , @to-whump-or-not-to-whump , @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi , @as-a-matter-of-whump , @grovegrocer , @renkocchi , @whumpasaurus101 , @inky-whump , @lonesome--hunter , @ladygwennn , @simplygrimly , @withering-whump , @lave-whump , @whatwhumpcomments , @thatsthewhump , @just-another-whumper , @starnight-whump , @unicornscotty , @wingedwhump , @a-series-of-whumpy-events

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[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Worthy”

Happy Saturday, everyone! I mean that seriously for once. Regardless of what I have to say about this episode — and as always, there's a lot — I want it on the record that "Worthy" was leagues ahead of... pretty much everything else we've gotten lately. For all of RWBY's continuing problems, there's a level of effort here that I really do appreciate. Especially for the penultimate episode.

Our title, "Worthy," immediately conjures thoughts of Watts' speech about Cinder needing to be "worthy" of the power she craves and, what do you know, our villains work hard to prove their worth this episode. Hallelujah! We start with the heroes though and do you recall how last week I said that our opening may as well be a summary of the whole series since Volume 6, what with the grimm conveniently avoiding the team's airship and them just looking vaguely sad that the people around them are perishing? Well, same here. Or rather, same problems, different flavor. Oscar opens with the question, "What do we do now?" and no sooner has he asked that then the magic portal appears to give him the answer. Useful!

More seriously though, I've been intensely side-eyeing the group's wish since last week. Not (just) because of the awful decision to turn Penny human, but simply because the story emphasized how "smart" the group was, heavily insisting that their portal plan is a masterpiece of well thought out strategy... and I really don't think it is. There was a lot of confusion last episode about how exactly the group was using the vault, with my own interpretation — that they were funneling everyone to Vacuo's vault — proven wrong today, but one of the problems brought up was how Ambrosius could possibly create portals across a kingdom precisely where the group needs them. Yang asks him,

"Can you make a bunch of doorways in Atlas that open at a single spot in Vacuo?"

To which, simply, Ambrosius says no. He'd need, among other things, "coordinates and specs for each door" and "an explanation for bending space and time."

This is why, prior to the very end of "Creation" where we saw portals appearing everywhere, I thought using both vaults was the solution. Ambrosius knows (or can easily receive) the coordinates for his own vault and the one in Vacuo. As weird, alternate dimensions, they're potentially capable of bending space and time as necessary. If you put the portal in Atlas' vault and open it up in Vacuo's vault, you're golden. The only challenge now is getting everyone in the kingdom to the Winter Maiden's vault.

But then... that didn't happen. Apparently the vault just becomes the in-between place for everyone to pass through and the portals appear all over the kingdom, even though the group didn't provide those "coordinates and specs." What they did was show Ambrosius a schematic of the cities. That's not the same thing as telling him precisely where each portal needs to appear — which is what he asked for. I bring this long-winded explanation up not merely to emphasize "RWBY's wish isn't as smart as the story wants you to believe it is" but because this wreaks havoc on who is getting a portal. How did the group tell Ambrosius precisely where to put a portal for Jaune's group? Why didn't they try to make one appear for Qrow and Robyn? Or Winter? Or Pietro and Maria? They had to have been somewhat specific in terms of saying where these portals appeared because if they just wished for everyone to get one, Jacques and Ironwood would have gotten one too. Basically, the portals do appear for characters whose “Worthy” plot now takes place in this in-between space and the portals do not appear for those whose plot is still taking place in Atlas. That's a mess. To say nothing of how it implies that our heroes just don't give a damn about all their other allies — including an uncle (Ruby, Yang) and a father (Penny) — and that, ultimately, Ambrosius did the very thing he initially said wouldn't work. He put a bunch of doors around Atlas that opened on a single point in Vacuo without making the group meet these requirements first. The rest is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo to distract the viewer from the fact that none of this actually makes sense.

But that's a tangent. To get back on track, Jaune's group decides to "spread the word on foot" since they can't contact anyone via their scrolls anymore. What this translates to is Jaune going to one spot and Nora doing the rest of the work because she can suddenly ride her hammer like a broomstick. 

You know what? I'm fine with it. Have we ever seen Nora do this before? Not that I recall. Is it a cute image that feeds my witch-loving brain? Yeeeeeaah.

They're not sure if the portals are safe though and everyone turns to Jaune as the joke test subject. Except everyone else is right behind him when the go through? Even the jokes in this show aren't consistent.

What I do like though is that we get another interesting team split: Oscar, Emerald, and Ren heading to Vacuo while Jaune and Nora help with the evacuation — even though Nora and Jaune aren't actually doing anything together. Still, I can see that (for this volume at least) RT has taken the duo criticisms to heart. It would have been incredibly easy to attach Nora and Ren at the hip again, despite her desire for space, so I'm glad that they're still striving to mix things up a bit.

Nora says that Shade is "armed to the teeth with huntsmen and huntresses." It is? I mean sure, it has its school, but so did Vale. So did Atlas. In fact, we've spent the last two volumes emphasizing that Atlas is really the only armed kingdom remaining. Remember the plan for them to protect the world after knowledge of Salem's existence threw everything into disarray? Well, the people know about Salem now. And Salem herself is attacking. And they're about to slam an entire kingdom into another one. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Nora ends her observations with the assertation that Vacuo will need as much help as they can get, but that worry feels far, far too late. Where were these concerns when Ruby made her announcement to the world in the first place? The fact that the group never went, "Hey, is it really worth telling people about Salem now when we can no longer provide the protection against the grimm that this announcement will necessitate? Yeah, we need backup, but can they even get here in time? I don't think so. Maybe we should hold off and try to find a way to solve this ourselves. Or, at the very least, just tell them Atlas is facing a massive grimm attack. That won't create quite the same panic as 'Magic immortal lady eager to kill you all' will."

Our heroes only acknowledge these problems when they're already neck deep in them. Forethought is not their strong suit.

For our obligatory humor, the people of Atlas are hiding behind the staircase after the evil portal appeared (weren't there, like, twenty of them in the last episode?) and a brave dude trying to toss a rock through accidentally hits Jaune. He — I kid you not — uses the Atlas huntsmen license gifted to him by Ironwood to gain authority over the group.

Talk about the story being tone deaf.

We segue to a shot of Penny who flies herself through the portal using the Maiden powers, precisely as she would have with her boots. Okay, I try not to pull many "I told you so"s because that's rude, petty, and all around just shit behavior... but boy is it tempting at times. Because RWBY's fandom is so staunchly against criticism that even the most polite pushbacks boil down to an equally rude "Just wait" mentality. Readers of these recaps know we were told to "just wait" for the group to talk to Ozpin. Or "just wait" for them to be punished for their crimes. "Just wait" for the complex forgiveness arc the group is sure to undergo with Emerald. "Just wait" is the go-to response when someone doesn't entirely disagree with our problems with the show, but still believes we're not giving RT enough credit. Most recently, I was told to "just wait" in regards to Penny. We don't actually know that her body is human. We don't actually know that her Maiden powers will still be the same. We don't actually know that this won't be the start of a long journey wherein she has to figure out how to use this new body, both on the battlefield and off. And the issue of RWBY failing to answer any of these questions isn’t valid criticism either because the only point being made here is that we’re not patient and supportive enough. Just wait. RT will prove you wrong. 

Well... Penny's body still appears entirely human, her Maiden powers still work just fine, and now they've given her the ability to create all her old weapons out of aura, meaning she fights exactly the same as she did before.

The only thing making Penny human did was force her to fight barefoot. Oh, and erase her journey of accepting herself as an android. 

Again, I don't want to be that asshole, especially when so many people want the show to be better — just like I do. By all means, hold out hope with me. But before slamming into someone's inbox to explain why they're being too negative because things are bound to be taken seriously down the road, keep in mind the staggering number of times we've decided to "just wait" and nothing ever came of it. Keep in mind that RWBY should be tackling these questions and expectations from the start. Now here we are, disappointed again. We're not pessimistic because we want to be, we're pessimistic because there's a clearly established pattern at play.

So Penny's change is, at this point, meaningless for her development and, at this point, we've lost the chance to introduce challenges later. If RT does, we're forever going to wonder why Penny didn't express any doubts upon waking up in a human body, or why she didn't face any problems while fighting another Maiden. Like Emerald getting the group to laugh and immediately being trusted with important duties, it's too late to suddenly backtrack and insist that there's still work to be done here. RT missed their chance.

That fight is a few minutes off though. For now, Oscar and the others arrive in Vacuo to discover that there's a sandstorm going on. Who could have ever expected that?

Seriously though, this is just one of the many reasons why our heroes come across as stupid. They deliberately chose to send everyone "outside the city limits of Vacuo," in a desert kingdom, after Ruby got the entire world panicked about Salem, and they somehow didn't think that a) weather might be a problem or b) grimm were going to show up? These characters have been though enough shit that they should be planning for the worst and hoping for the best, not planning for the best and assuming the worst just won't happen to them. Why wouldn't they have everyone appear inside the kingdom if they (against Ambrosius' rules) got to choose where everyone ended up? Why in the world would they rely on communications being up when CCT has been spotty since Volume 3 and Watts just took out Atlas’ entire system? Our characters don't think anything through — despite Ambrosius’ claims otherwise — and it makes for some pretty awful characterization. Because RWBY isn't trying to be a story about teenagers seriously messing up their attempts at heroics, it's trying to be a story about True Heroes... and we're just supposed to ignore the endless number of times the group doesn't think the most basic problems through. So now, Oscar and the other stand there doing nothing for the rest of the episode because a sandstorm in the desert threw a wrench in their plans. 

The only reason I didn’t bring this up last week is because I had no idea they had chosen to dump everyone outside of the city. I thought they were going to the vault, or at the very least appearing inside the border. Why wouldn’t you send everyone to the city??

It’s so stupid, but then Cinder arrives and blows a whole bunch of people off the edge of the pathways. HELL YEAH.

I mean, obviously not hell yeah for the poor civilians who just took a tumble, but yay the villain causing some damage. It's small potatoes compared to what we were promised at the end of last volume — Salem decimating a whole kingdom in The Fall of Atlas — but at least it's more than we were getting last week.

So Cinder is having her evil fun when the entire group leaves Penny to go after her. Again, stupid. You're going to leave the girl who (at this point) may not have been in a position to fight with her new body and stands vulnerable with a Relic? Not a single member stays behind to guard her? It would have served Team RWBY right if Neo had shown up and just clocked Penny, taking a second Relic for herself.

Cinder taunts the group with information she shouldn't have: “Your little friend Oscar was right, but the easy part ends here" then mimics them with the question "How’d you know about that?” at their shocked looks. This starts a flashback where we return to Cinder, Neo, and Watts in the alleyway. 

Again Cinder is given more development than a supposed hero like Emerald, apologizing to Neo for not upholding her end of their bargain. In fact, Cinder displays more growth here than our entire title characters combined, it's just that her growth turns her into a better villain. She apologizes to Neo, compliments Watts as a means of acknowledging the work he's accomplished — “You tore this kingdom apart with nothing but your intellect. How about we finish what you started?” — and tells the heroes that she did learn something from them: “Sometimes, if you want to win, you simply can’t do it alone.” 

I quite like all of this. Again, not that Cinder should be our biggest threat with Salem on the scene, but if you remove that context this is a great moment for her. She's actually learned something, but instead of following in the rather abrupt and, in Hazel's case, nonsensical footsteps of her peers, what she's learned has made her more dangerous, not a sudden, convenient ally. Since Volume 7 RWBY has hammered home the idea that only friends can truly be a good team and now, well, Cinder is kind of making friends. She's apologizing to Neo. She seems glad that Watts is happy. RWBY took the concept of working together and applied it to our villains with devastating effect. Team RWBY has been skating by on the idea that power comes from friendship, so what happens if your enemies become weird friends too?

To be clear, this doesn't erase the staggering number of other problems with Cinder's character, or the villains as a unit, or the volume as a whole... but it is an interesting step in the right direction. Props for that.

Granted, outside of the fight itself, the villains don't really win because they're smart, the heroes are just — again — staggeringly stupid. Cinder promises to get Ruby for Neo if she can ask Jinn a question... which she does! 

This moment could have been avoided if our heroes had just put the Lamp in the vault. Or not had Oscar carrying it around. Or used up the wish after they'd already summoned Jinn. Cinder's victory here rests entirely on her own enemies' ineptitude. At least she has the smarts to exploit it. She asks Jinn what the group's plan is and our three villains are shown the revelation outside after saving Penny and the discussions that took place in the dining room. They learn everything they need to inflict maximum chaos.

And it’s great. 

Three other details of note:

Cinder spots Emerald with the heroes during Jinn's vision, but doesn't have much of a reaction beyond her expression tightening.

Jinn looks sad when she reveals the group's plan, reinforcing the idea that she's biased towards our heroes. I'd be more on board with that characterization if a) she weren't created by Light whose own Good Guy persona is dubious at best, and b) she wasn't so cruel towards Ozpin. Again, it's just this strange insistence that everyone adore Ruby Rose.

Neo reveals the Relic by pulling it out of Roman's hat. Uh... is that how hats work? They contain objects twice their height? While resting on someone's head? This wasn't one of Neo's illusions, she literally just pulled it out like a real world magician. That's weird. Showy, but weird.

Anyway, the flashback continues as the villains infiltration the Atlas military headquarters. I really enjoyed the music and cinematography here. It's a strangely uplifting tune — rather Cinderella-esque — which doesn't appear to work until you remember that these moments are through Cinder's perspective. Of course this is a Happy Ending for her — even if it's not for the audience. The quick cut between her summoning some fire and the whole room alight, bodies everywhere, was an excellent touch.

The happiness of this moment is then emphasized by Neo skipping as she beats people and Watts admitting that this is "everything I’ve ever wanted." I'm really digging the contrast between this scene's celebratory nature and the knowledge that the story is celebrating the wrong characters. It creates an enjoyably uncomfortable feeling for us and helps flesh out the villains more. From their perspective, life is good.

There's even a shot of that #1 Dad mug. Sometimes, RWBY gets it right.

Watts in particular is enjoying himself. He snags a discarded apple — no fairy tale symbolism there, I'm sure — and casually rubs the blood off it before taking a bite. This guy has style! 

Watts watches Jaune try to send out his message to the kingdom and cuts communication at the worst possible moment. But then, we knew that already.

Elsewhere in the facility, Robyn and Qrow are trying to round up the Ace Ops. They all feel Atlas shake, realizing that the group has used the Relic, and Elm is appropriately horrified. "They'll destroy the kingdom!" Robyn says some self-righteous words about how a kingdom is made up of its people, not the land it exists on, which, while ignoring the importance of land to so many cultures, completely ignores that right now the majority of people are still on Atlas, or below it, including them. "They set the house alight!" someone cries. "Who cares about a stupid house," Robyn says, uncaring that the entire family still resides inside and she's starting to inhale smoke.

As Robyn tries to paint herself as a hero, Watts hacks one of the droids and sets it to self-destruct, telling it to run full-tilt at the group. Their weapons don't stop it and at the last second Marrow throws himself in front to take the blast, shattering his aura. Uh... after everything we've seen in this show, a single, small explosion wipes out his aura? I don't care about that so much here, but I absolutely care about it for an upcoming scene. Keep this in mind.

Also, I'm not going to get into the potential problems of trying to execute Marrow, beating up Marrow, and then blowing up Marrow. Others can tackle that leviathan of a subject.

At least he survived? But only RT knows if Robyn and Qrow bothered to put him on their ship.

Because as Atlas begins to fall Harriet, free of Marrow's semblance, races for an airship going off the edge of the open parking garage. Idk what else to call that space. I'm sure there's something appropriately military-esque, but we're going with parking garage for now lol. This is the one — one — moment where I felt like the Ace Ops were actually written like they weren't friends, what with Harriet's willingness to race off and leave them behind. Again though, it's too late and there are, frankly, other aspects to consider. Like the fact that Marrow just betrayed her. I don't think she's in the right mind for trusting the rest of her team, especially when there are only seconds to save herself.

Vine uses his stretchy arms to grab hold of her ship though and heaves himself on board.

Cutting to the jail, Ironwood wakes up and is greeted with a despondent Jacques. As Ironwood realizes that the group has the Staff, Jacques goes, "That's right, you lose! … we both lose." Before there can be any interesting discussion though, Ironwood's cell... goes out???

I suppose the explanation for this is things falling apart as Atlas descends, but man is that another moment of head-scratching convenience. What's even worse is that Winter apparently just left his weapons beside the cell. "Hey, what should we do with Ironwood's giant gun?" "Idk, leave it for him on the off chance us removing the city's power source wreaks havoc with the electrical bars?" I mean seriously. At least Qrow had to go find his weapon in a locker.

For a second Jacques is thrilled, sure that Ironwood will open his cell too... right?

He does open the cell, by blasting the whole thing to smithereens, Jacques included.

You all know I'm horribly disappointed with how they've written Ironwood, but I can't bring myself to dredge up any fury over this murder. It's Jacques. You know, the abuser and slave owner who has never shown a single shred of decency? Can't say I'm sorry to see him gone, especially since one of the Schnee girls were never going to kill him. The only other thing they could have done was have Jacques die an accidental death.

So villain!Ironwood can have another murder, as a treat.

Meme jokes aside, it's interesting that Ironwood's never-seen-before-last-episode gun produces a green blast and fire. It looks incredibly similar to what Penny created as an android and the fire around her Maiden eyes. Unlike Watts' apple though, I don't think this is a parallel RT intentionally included. Not unless we want to dig deep for more “Metal bodies = evil” symbolism, but there’s already plenty more persuasive examples of that. 

Returning to Team RWBY, we finally come to the highlight of the episode: Yang falling off the edge.

Okay, I want to praise RWBY for having the guts to kill off a main character... but we all know they haven't killed off a named character. If next episode — or perhaps even next volume — it's revealed that Yang is really dead, I'll happily eat these words. For now though, this is not the consequence that RWBY critics have asked for. This is, in fact, quite a mess.

Let's count up all the ways this scene has failed spectacularly.

No one believes that Yang is actually dead. Not just because she's a title character, not just because Ambrosius never confirmed that the void was deadly or even dangerous — "Don't fall," however ominous, doesn't actually tell us what happens to someone who falls — but also because we have been here before. Three volumes ago. Remember how it looked like Weiss would die only for Jaune to unlock his semblance and save her? Yeah. The audience is both genre and RWBY savey. This cliffhanger feels cheap because absolutely no one is fooled.

Feel familiar? 

Worse, Yang falls because of another round of stupidity. Nothing about this moment is convincing.

First, she notices Neo sneaking up on Ruby. What's her reaction? To flare her semblance, charge her in fury, and be horribly injured. Oh wow, where have we seen this before?

This is the exact same series of events from Volume 3. A loved one of Yang's is about to be harmed, she gets mad, charges without thinking, and takes the brunt of the attack herself, resulting in a far more serious injury than likely would have otherwise occurred. Emotionally understandable, but stupid. More importantly, it's the exact thing Tai tried to warn her about. The fandom praised Yang's arc because she got a moment of calm with Mercury, but since then we’ve ignored that development, reverting Yang to the same, impulsive fighter as before. Volume 6 showed us this problem in a non-combat setting and this moment solidifies it. Yang has learned absolutely nothing since Beacon. She's the same protective, reckless fighter she was back then, getting herself grievously injured because she can't think before she acts. What was the point of sending her on that journey if she was never going to improve? 

Neo cuts through Yang's aura in a single hit. A single hit. These characters have long, drawn out fights filled with crazy attacks and you're telling me a single slice of Neo's weapon is enough to shatter Yang's aura? Really, aura has been an absurd plot device for a while, but this volume has been particularly bad. Ren's aura breaks so the group is spotted by Salem's grimm, but then is back just a few minutes later so he can see purple petals around Emerald. Jaune's aura is said to be running just as low, but then is totally fine to boost Penny for the next hour until she reaches the vault. Now, Yang has had just as much time to rest as they do, but she’s instantly taken out?

This is a problem not because the loss of aura itself sends her over, but because the hit was apparently so powerful Yang passes out. She's groggy at least, blearily looking at everyone as she falls, but not reacting to them and, importantly, not trying to save herself. 

Yang could have reached for Blake's throw. She has a landing strategy. She could have blasted herself up, or towards any of the three paths she falls past. Instead she just... plummets. In a show where our characters are introduced through their ability to survive being launched off a cliff. Neo's attack needs to be miraculously incapacitating to justify — "justify" — Yang doing nothing to get out of this situation, in an episode where, minutes later, Ren's aura will also go out (again) but he's standing up and ready to fight a horde of grimm. But losing her aura through one hit somehow incapacities Yang?  

Also, to ward off the expected claims: she didn't hit her head. Yang's back hit the path and her eyes were closed before she ever made contact. Neo's hit just... knocked her out.

That's absurd.

Worse than her not helping herself, no one else on her team helps either. Except Blake. Ruby, who this volume has learned that she is basically able to teleport and negate the mass of carrying someone else, doesn't fly towards her sister. Weiss, who can summon flying grimm and create platforms for someone to land on, just reaches out a hand. They all had time to do something, Blake's action is proof of that, but neither of them did. Why? Because the show wants this to be a bees moment. I say that not as someone who hates the ship, but as someone who loves it. Or at least, I've always loved its potential, but if you need to prove their devotion by erasing the devotion of others... that's incredibly bad writing. And that's what this is. The choice to have Blake the only one capable of acting sends the message that she loves Yang enough to overcome the shock of her falling. That love powers her to act. But Yang is Weiss’ teammates too! Yang is Ruby's sister.

You’re telling me neither of them had the drive to push past shock and save her? 

I find it particularly insulting that Weiss comforts Blake rather than crumbling in grief herself. I find it doubly insulting that Blake cries and screams, but Ruby stoically continues her fight with Neo. In trying to show Blake's love for Yang — and hers in turn — the show has unintentionally pulled back on the love everyone else has, even between siblings. This is a far more harmful repetition of Yang's moment in the outpost: she cares more about the imagined disagreement with Blake than she does the actual fight she had with Ruby. Blake shows more emotion for Yang's assumed death than her sister has. You can't prove love by diminishing it elsewhere. The scene 100% needed all three girls doing everything in their power to save Yang, failing, and then continuing the fight while expressing the appropriate emotion for such a massive loss. Ruby can fly towards Yang and be pinned by Cinder. Weiss can start to summon and have an attack disrupts it. Ruby can scream and cry while she fights Neo. Again: that's her sister.

There's nothing about this scene that works for me and honestly? After Yang returns they better kiss. Or there better be an "I love you." Something canonical. There will never be a better, more obvious time for a confession than after Blake thinks she's lost Yang for good and if we don't get one... the ship has well and truly sunk. We're living in a post-Supernatural finale world. You can no longer take your one, implied to be queer main couple, toss one into this fantasy's version of super hell, give them a second chance together... and then leave things dangling. RWBY has to make them canon when Yang returns if they have any hope of maintaining a large portion of their queer fanbase.

As a final note on this scene, I don't like what it implies about both Blake and our lost civilians. Like Yang, (and like Penny last episode) this attack undermines the growth our characters have undergone. Yang learns not to attack out of emotion with her semblance... and then does just that. Penny learns that she's a person with an android body... and then gets a human body to make her perfect. Blake realizes that she isn't willing to kill people in this war anymore... and then goes after Neo with an intensity that implies she's ready to kill her. It's a detail that might have been meaningful if Blake's struggle had existed in more than a single line in a single scene. As it is, it just feels like they've forgotten — or are ignoring — another character beat they introduced. 

As for our civilians, will the show bring them back too? Look, I'm pleased Cinder blew them off the edge. I'm glad there were finally consequences for the kingdom-wide attack, even if none of have to come about from our main antagonist. But that impact was erased the second they threw Yang off the edge too. If they bring only her back, Team RWBY look like assholes who only care about their friends, not all the people they were charged with protecting (a recurring theme in this series). If they do bring the civilians back, we've lost that consequence. RWBY never should have tossed a title character into that void especially when, as said, everyone watching knows it's not a real consequence of this fight.

This was a terribly crafted scene, imo. If the only purpose here is to push the bees to confess, we could have gotten that after the whale. Yang was captured by Salem. That's more than enough danger to justify coming clean about feelings and the volume could have easily been reworked to make Blake aware of that danger, forcing her to stew in it until Yang returned, unharmed.

Instead we get this.

Also, I don't even want to get into the implications of having Yang disappear in a cloud of glittering gold dust like Pyrrha did. That's a world building rabbit hole RWBY really doesn't need.

So Yang is gone but obviously not gone. Blake is the only one impacted by this enough to react emotionally. Penny hears her scream and comes running, showing the viewer that absolutely nothing had changed despite getting an entirely new body. 

Cinder weirdly throws her voice — has she done that before? — to distract Penny and the fight continues, with Neo going after Ruby and Blake going after Neo. There's a moment where Blake realizes that Weiss is in trouble too, looking between her two teammates, unsure of who to help. 

I'm calling it now: Blake will be the third semblance upgrade, splitting herself into multiple fighters capable of functioning independently, rather than just shadow clones to take hits.

It would make as much sense as anything else.

Cinder at least is fighting smart, attacking the civilians rather than Weiss directly, then blowing her glass up in Weiss' face. She then manages to catch herself in the air, but, you know, couldn't do the same for Yang.

At the very least don't have Weiss using these abilities seconds later, c'mon.

We thankfully leave this nonsense for, well... more nonsense. Vine and Harriet get into a fight about what Clover would have wanted, which means nothing to the viewer because we didn't know Clover long enough to develop that sense for ourselves. I'm sorry, but following an order to peacefully bring Qrow in for questioning is not proof that he would have seen things through in the sense of blowing up Mantle, yet that's what we're supposed to believe based on Harriet's assertions and Vine's take that "perhaps Clover was wrong." I really hate that RWBY has taken to bashing the guy before he had the chance to actually do anything. Everyone is criticizing Clover based on lies or assumptions about what he might have done if, you know, he hadn't been murdered. Qrow blames Clover for defending himself, not his own choice to team up with Tyrian. Robyn asserts that Qrow is a better huntsmen than Clover, even though the one scene they had together was Robyn deciding to attack Clover because she didn't like him doing his job. Now Vine is like, "Yeah, Clover might have tried to blow up a kingdom needlessly, but maybe he was wrong and a bad person, you know?" I don't even like Clover that much, but the story has really gone out of its way to criticize him when he's obviously not around to prove, disprove, or otherwise defend himself. That’s messed up. 

The one good part about this scene is Harriet losing it, all her firm beliefs crumbling to reveal just an aching grief for losing Clover. Hark, is this humanity for the other Ace Ops I see? Some development and characterization? Vine reaching out sympathetically to comfort her because they've always been a team, no matter what Ruby might say about it?

Oh wait, no. They're interrupted by Robyn screaming as she slams her ship into theirs.

I think Robyn is, officially, my least favorite character in the series. Which isn't to say there aren't objectively worse characters than her — we saw one get blown up this episode — but no one has this particular combination of horrible acts, self-righteous attitude, and an absolute dearth of other positive qualities to distract from that. Robyn has brought nothing to the last two volumes except frustration and I can only hope she goes off to do her own thing when our finale is done.

Qrow goes feral, turning into a bird and changing at the last second to slam through Harriet's window. He taunts her about getting the fight she wanted and we see Watts hacking her ship while they're distracted.

Watts, I'm really loving the evil schemes, but don't you want to, uh... leave? Atlas is falling and you're one of maybe three people left on it. Best get a move on, chop, chop.

Those other two people are Winter and Ironwood, both of whom have come to the vault looking for Team RWBY. Ironwood lands a hit with his new gun, giving a short speech about how though he was always on the lookout for betrayal, he never expected it from her. He tells Winter to stand aside as his final order, to which she replies, “I’ve never wavered in fighting the enemies of this kingdom," preparing to fight.

I've explained the problems with Ironwood's downfall ad nauseam. I don't think that's needed again here. However, there are two final points I'd like to make.

Winter's characterization took a hit along with Ironwood's. Why didn't he think she'd ever betray him? Because they clearly cared for one another. The fact that Winter so quickly and easily gave up on Ironwood is a disservice to both of them. Even in the throes of being an emotionless killer, we still understand Ironwood's devastation at this betrayal: his shock when Winter attacked, his request that she step aside now, the single tear. 

There's nothing like that on her end. No denial that the man she faithfully followed would do this. No insistence that the man who helped her escape her abusive upbringing be reasoned with. Nothing. Winter dismisses Ironwood with the same callousness the narrative has.

Which brings me to my second point: this isn't hopeful. I know the Emerald lovers don't want me making comparisons, but the story has already done that for us. You can't give us an all out villain — someone responsible for countless deaths across the series, attacks on kingdoms, lying to our heroes, willingly working for the enemy  — and say that it's good to forgive her instantly, but it's not acceptable to even consider forgiving the man who has also killed, also threatened to attack a kingdom, was honest with our heroes, and always fought against the enemy. You can't give us an entire story about hope and forgiveness — Ruby reaching out to Raven, Weiss wanting to rescue Jacques, Oscar putting all his trust in Hazel — while saying that this character isn't worth compromising with. This character needs to be denounced to the whole world so there's no possibility of forgiveness. This character will commit horrific acts and his allies will immediately jump ship, but others? Their horrific acts are forgiven the moment you give them a way out. I'm supposed to believe that Yang, who knew Emerald only as the woman who attacked her school and has helped make their lives a living hell since then, will laugh with her within an hour, but Qrow, after years of being an ally and friend to Ironwood, is suddenly ready to murder him over an arrest he had no context for? That Ruby will try to make peace with every enemy she comes across, but not the guy who was the ally she betrayed? That Winter would extend more compassion to her abusive father than the man who helped her escape that? Ironwood's downfall isn't just horribly written, it messes with RWBY's core themes. Everyone deserves a second chance, is worth crying over, is worth reaching out to no matter how many horrible things they've done... except this guy here.

And when that guy is the PTSD riddled military vet who crumpled in large part because the heroes continually lied to, betrayed, and took extreme action rather than working to find a compromise... that's a really bad take. That shows a lot of bias on the part of RT. They're trying to write a story about the evils of the institution, but think they can reduce that to the evils of a single man driven to the brink. That doesn't send a teachable message to the audience and it certainly doesn't send a hopeful one. All it does is reiterate that if you rip away someone's support network when they're already falling they will, shockingly, fall harder.

Which brings us back to characters like Emerald. Because no, no one has to help Ironwood. When someone is hurting you and committing the crimes he has this volume, no one is required to extend a hand at their own, personal peril. But when the narrative is so heavily pushing forgiveness for other mass-murderers? When child torturers are extended a hand during the torture? That reframes everyone abandoning Ironwood into something unpalatable. Having Ironwood’s allies, friends, and really, family, so quickly toss him aside while other, equally bad people are welcomed in says that everyone struggling like him isn’t worth the effort. From a genre perspective, this isn’t a tragedy because the characters don’t care. No one is striving to bring Ironwood back from the brink. No one is crying over the man they lost. Hazel gets a moment of silence as Emerald kneels, stricken in the aftermath of his death, but one of the heroes since Volume 2 gets nothing but hateful looks from his second. 

But we all knew we'd end up here. My current theory? The portal should still be open at the vault. Winter will fight Ironwood, escape through it, and it will close right before he escapes too. He'll fall with Atlas and everyone will act as if it's some beautiful, poetic justice for him to perish with the city. 

Here’s hoping I’m very wrong! 

Finishing with Oscar's group, Ren's aura breaks after trying to mask everyone coming through the portal. Oscar realizes that Penny should have come through by now and runs back to find her, only to discover that the portal is closed on this side. Why? Because Weiss wished for a "one way trip to Vacuo." Not only is this another example of our heroes being stupid — they come up with this complicated wish that doesn't actually makes sense, but don't bother to be careful with their words like Ruby was when helping Penny? — but it also just... doesn't add up? How does Oscar know what Weiss wished for? How does Ozpin? (His one line in the episode.) They recall this together, the flashback acting like a memory, but neither of them were there. Neither was Ren. Neither was Emerald. They haven't spoken to the Relic group since separating.

It looks like RT still needs to edit their scripts.

As Oscar realizes they're trapped, the emotions of the group summons a huge number of grimm to the area. At this point, my only thought was why none of them had used the time Ren was buying them to try and find Vacuo. I mean, they're not the only fighters with semblances here. They have the Happy Huntresses too and, I would think, the Atlas students (unless the army was abandoned like Pietro and Maria were. Where are Neon and Flynt?) There's no one in this huge crowed with an ability that might make scouting ahead a little safer? No one is even going to try and figure some plan out? Everyone on these teams is too passive. They encounter a problem — where's the city? — and instead of trying to solve it while they can, while they’re in a good position to, they wait around until the situation becomes unimaginably worse and they have to figure something out or risk dying. Now, the people are being carried off by grimm, they know something has gone wrong on the pathways, and Ren is about to enter another fight without his aura. Let's hope he doesn't take a hit like Yang.

Summary of "Worthy"? Excellent villains, terrible heroes. It's better than what we've gotten in a while, but choices like Yang's fall ensures it's still not good. Given the trajectory of the volume, it was inevitable that we would end up here: moments that look significant at first glance, but are (quite likely) no more than window dressing in the long run.

Finally, bingo is rather boring this week. Unsurprising, considering we're almost out of space. I'm keeping our "Army of grimm conveniently doesn't kill any civilians" square checked because the point there was for Salem to kill people, not for the group to lead the refuges into a grimm infested desert. We'll have to see how many people they lose though and whether Atlas "somehow survives." Here, like Robyn, I'm talking about the citizens, not the now clearly doomed hunk of land. At this point, Oscar doesn’t seem to at all care about his near death experience, but I'll hold off on that square until we're truly done, and there's still a near certain possibility that Ironwood will die, with a likely possibility that Qrow grabs a bottle when first given the chance. What RWBY has avoided though is a Jacques-Watts team up 2.0. Considering, you know, Jacques is dead.

Gold star for not doing the expected, iffy thing, RWBY.

That's the square I would have least minded seeing though 😬

Anyway, finale next Saturday, folks! What insanity will the end bring? Only time will tell. But I can't wait to see what state the fandom will be left in for hiatus!

Until then 💜