#but it takes a while for him to fully (internally) accept a person as a friend

[cowboypossume]

it is a a CRIME i have not written more sophitz honestly

[allforthegaymes]

Firm believer that the twinyards sort their shit out before graduation.

Both of them internally knowing that having a brother is better than fighting about their grievances.

Andrew was a foster kid longing for a permanent sense of family and getting betrayed each time and Aaron grew up surrounded by family that continuously hurt him at every turn.

And even though they dont have the best relationship in college they share the same dorm room and let each other hide in each others shadows when theyre with the team. Because even if their teammates cant tell them apart, at least they cant be openly aggressive at them without risking pissing the wrong twin off.

Aaron who hates Andrew for keeping secrets from him but knows he cant tell Andrew about Katelyn.

Andrew who hates keeping Neil a secret from Aaron but its only fair is how he sorts it in his brain.

Andrew who hates that he cant stop Aaron from dating women because how can Aaron not see how they keep hurting him?

But Aaron who cant understand why Andrew can be okay with Neil after finding out about Drake.

Stuck in the same cycle of being frustrated that they cant protect one another, because the other believes they dont need to be protected.

Andrew thinks his job is to protect other people, he’s never been offered it in return. Seeing Aaron kill Drake was a fluke, a one time thing, but Aaron is frustrated that Andrew cant see that Aaron is trying to protect Andrew from Neil the same way Andrew tries to protect Aaron from Katelyn.

And Bee makes them talk and see how they’re perceiving and trying to protect one another from the same made up threats stemming from their mutually abusive childhoods.

And when Aaron and Katelyn get in an argument senior year about how theyre going to have to intern at different hospitals if they both want to go into different specifications, Andrew has to suck it up and focus on comforting Aaron, running Bee’s words back in his head that not every argument is an attempt to hurt someone.

Andrew sitting across from Aaron as Aaron tries to fight through mumbled words about how Katelyn had told him she wasnt in a place to argue anymore that night and told him they could continue the conversation the next morning when they’ve slept on it.

Andrew confronting and accepting the idea that Katelyn isnt a mean reborn version of Tilda set on ripping Aaron apart from the seams again.

Aaron catching sight of the way Neil whispers “yes or no” to Andrew after a tense car ride where they havent spoken the whole time, the way Andrew says back a firm “no” and Neil turns to ask Aaron to swap seats with him for the rest of the drive.

Aaron seeing the way that Neil will respect Andrews boundaries even when theyre both frustrated with each other, giving Andrew the space he needs without taking it personally.

Aaron who cant stop seeing it after that, the way Neil says it before things that seem standard to other people. Asking before he leans into Andrew’s space to grab his helmet from where its tucked in the locker behind Andrew. Asking when they’re already holding hands, and when Andrew doesnt answer immediately he tugs their hands apart and shoved his own deep in his pockets as they walk.

Aaron and Andrew slowly coming to terms that the other doesnt need protection anymore, but needs support from the other.

And its awkward and disjointed, because neither fully knows how to be a brother of all things.

But it happens.

Andrew explains why he doesnt let Aaron drive his car and Aaron opens up that he’s too scared to drive anyways after the whole Tilda incident. But Andrew offers to teach him in the stadium parking lot if he ever decides he does want to try and overcome it and Aaron asks Matt to borrow his truck instead so Andrew doesnt have to get flashbacks to the last time he was passenger in a small car.

Aaron reaches out to text Andrew if he wants a coffee while Aarons out and he doesnt take the one worded “yes.” as a dismissal anymore.

Andrew sends Aaron pictures of him and Katelyn in their matching scrubs after their first intern shift at the hospital, both passed out on the bean bags in Andrew’s dorm even though Aaron’s lived in Matt’s dorm for months by then.

Aaron’s favorite peppermint coffee creamer is always stocked at Andrew’s dorm even when its out of season and he has to buy it for $7.

Andrew’s favorite milky way bars are always scattered around in weird places even though he knows he hasnt bought them himself in over a year.

Andrew’s the first person that Aaron tells when he decides he’s going to propose to Katelyn their senior year, and Andrew goes with him to countless different ring shops, set on helping Aaron find the perfect one.

When Aaron gets accepted to medical school after graduation, and gets his tuition fully paid for by an ‘anonymous donor’ he leaves a thank you note on Neils door.

And Andrew is the first person to send Katelyn the behind the scenes proposal photos of Aaron as he was stressed trying to decide which of five different button ups would be best for the dinner.

Theyre awkwardly trying to figure out how to be part of one anothers lives but the fact that the other is also trying is what really helps bring them together in the end.

[shotanzz]

I wish you would do a full post dedicated to toxicity or angsty shortcomings in relationships with the boys 🫠 I loved reading the toxic head canons ❤️

angst hurts my heart but !!

RIIZE RED FLAGS based on astrology~

hyung line edition ❗️

reminder this is based off of MY opinions of their birth chart placements + aspects and is not exact fact unless I knew them myself and I am not a professional astrologer

Shotaro

Vague - not exactly a red flag but he cares a lot about the things going on within his personal life but sometimes he might prefer to keep things to himself due to paranoia of how his s/o will react or if they’d use it against him..he might have a fear of betrayal that can make him be pretty vague and unable to tell his s/o a lot of things in regards to him which can feel secretive to someone who wants a relationship with open info

Intense - His Scorpio moon paired with his Cap venus leads to a need for loyalty as well as his moon/mercury aspect making him very observant of your words and even remembering things you said a longgg time ago which can be overwhelming and feel even persecuting to some. He might also be paranoid in the relationship of cheating or disloyalty.

Coldness- When he's upset he might have a tendency to be cold yet indirect. He has a scorpio mercury and when upset or protecting themselves they can say things that really hurt or could be pretty cutting. He also has a libra mars so he'd be pretty passive aggressive or indirect with his upset.

Eunseok

Nonchalant- (reminder that nonchalant means that a person cares but acts in a way that suggests indifference/disinterest) He can sometimes be too nonchalant and can make someone overall feel as though he has no passion in the relationship when really he does but just doesn't think you have to be lovey dovey 24/7 or he cant express his passion super well as times

Outburst- Eunseok has a cap moon and moon/saturn aspects paired with a mutable mars so he doesn't express his emotions well or bottles them up which can lead to him getting triggered at random and having a spontaneous outburst out of NOWHEREEE due to suppressed feelings which can be super problematic to some

Insensitive- it’s not on purpose or with malicious intent but Eunseok can sometimes not realize that though a situation isn’t a big deal to him to someone else it might be, he also can forget the more subjective side of things which can accidentally hurt peoples feelings

Sungchan

Sensitive - His pride is high and his reaction to things may be 3x more dramatic than the actual event that happened. When he's been hurt emotionally (whether it was intentional or not) he has a hard time letting go of what happened and might even give a silent treatment until he feels you've shown remorse.

Insecure - He cares a lot about what other people think of him and that can bleed into his relationships. He might act one way in public but another way in private which can make his words/actions seem insincere or disingenuous.

Internal struggles- Has a hard time balancing his feminine side and masculine side and what I mean is he is someone super emotional and feels his emotions very deeply but might try to cover that side of him up with a masculine facade which can bring tension.

Wonbin

Avoidance - He might refuse to acknowledge the red flags or obvious shortcomings/problems in the relationship or himself and may take a long time fully accepting or facing these problems as they are or has a weak approach in attempting to fix or acknowledge the problems. Idealizes a lot of aspects and tends to withdrawal when things don’t match his vision.

Procrastination- Once again, has a hard time facing things head on and takes a while to put action into something and avoids the messier more negative emotions that one must face in relationships; he could also take a long time to let the relationship reach the next more serious levels.

Stubborn- It's hard to change his mind about certain things..in arguments he'll try to pull a "lets agree to disagree" but it's a topic where you both need to be on the same page. He might even just straight up go mute in arguments if he doesn't feel like his opinion was valued enough.

[redditantisemitism]

Love the person who said Henry Ford's The International Jew was "real" antisemitism unlike the talking points coming from Hamasniks, because I've READ excerpts from The International Jew and uh...

Ford: "This propaganda of pogroms... thousands upon thousands of Jews killed... amounts to nothing except as it illustrates the gullibility of the Press... No one believes this propaganda and governments regularly disprove it."  Where have I heard this recently??? 🤔 Ford: "The Zionist propaganda has always been accepted on the assumption that Palestine is the Jews’ land and that they only need help to go back. It is an historical and political fact that Palestine has not been the Jews’ land for more than 2,000 years... Yet, as the result of a war bargain, it is handed over to them as regardless of the native inhabitants as if Belgium had been handed over to Mexico. Many of the natives are Semites, like the Jews, but they do not want the Jews among them. That is a strange fact for those who use the term “anti-Semitism”; why do real Semites also dislike the Jews? Surely Semites are not victims of “anti-Semitism.”

Ford: "Take anti-Semitism. That is a label which the Jews have industriously pasted up everywhere. If ever it was an effective label its uses are over now. It doesn’t mean anything. Anti-Semitism does not exist, since the thing so named is found among the Semites, too. Semites cannot be anti-Semitic."

And this??? 🤔🤔

Ford: "It is worth while observing the contrasts and similarities between the Gentile and Jewish reaction to this alleged movement to establish a Jewish imperialism over the world. Jewish publicists first deny it without qualification. It is all false, all a lie, all hatched up by enemies of the Jews in order to stir up hatred and murder." And this??? 🤔🤔🤔

Ford: "Anyone who essays to discuss the Jewish Question in the United States or anywhere else must be fully prepared to be regarded as an Anti-Semite, in high-brow language, or in low-brow language, a Jew-baiter... Anti-Semitism is a term which is bandied about too loosely. It ought to be reserved to denote the real anti-Jewish temper of violent prejudice. If used indiscriminately about all who attempt to discuss Jewish characteristics and Jewish world-power, it may in time arrive at the estate of respectability and honor... "

And this??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

"Henry Ford's work is REAL antisemitism" - like yeah it is, but then why you sound just like him??????

Gasp. You’re telling me antisemitism didn’t begin and end with the shoah???? Wild

[heliianth]

when you say that nanika is a reflection of killua’s “worst traits”, what do you mean by that exactly? :O

genuinely asking bc i’m super interested and curious !!

ok so.... while trying my hardest not to be reductive, Killua and Nanika occupy very similar social spaces. But before we can get there, I kind of want to lay down the groundwork first.

Here's Illumi (un)helpfully expositing Killua's self-image—the one he spends his entire arc desperately running away from—for us:

Killua's narrative has a lot to do with dehumanization and questions about nature—whether somebody can choose who they are or whether their circumstances decide for them, what makes a human being, all that juicy stuff. He's almost a soft launch for what the series forces us to consider later in the CAA, which is so rife with questions about instinct, nature, humanity, and evolution that trying to navigate its character web without running into a Killua foil is like trying to walk in the rain without getting wet.

Nanika is, like the ultimate escalation of this same thing—when it comes to Killua and questions of nature, she's the final boss. Nanika (or, our initial impression of her, what we are invited via framing to think first) is almost a manifestation—a literalization—of what Killua is scared of being.

I say that because, like... what is Nanika? What do other characters see her as?

Nonhuman

Extremely dangerous by nature

Valuable due to the services she can provide

Ostracized by both the Zoldyck family (Killua is singled out as the golden child) and the outside world—meaning, not entirely belonging to any defined social group, and unable to fully fit in

A dark counterpart to a comparatively sweet, bright, and innocent personality (Alluka)

All 5 of these points hit very literally onto sore points of Killua's psyche. At least subconsciously, in some way, these are all things Killua thinks about himself; he recognizes them in Nanika because the way his family reacts to her is the way "outsiders" react to him. And he ends up dehumanizing her the exact way he dehumanizes himself—we know because he ends up unintentionally using Silva's words of being his son (positing Killua as an extension of himself, indicating similar mindsets) as an appeal during negotiations:

(Some English translations don't even use Nanika because it literally means "something")

That's what I mean when I say they occupy similar social spaces, or are part of the same social group. And Killua treats her accordingly—as in, he projects:

(elaboration on that last example here)*

Killua even ends up projecting traits onto Nanika he isn’t self-aware enough to realize he has.

For example, Killua thinks of love as a very lopsided and conditional transaction in which, due to his negative social identity group, he needs to perform something adequately in order to earn. And he assumes Nanika thinks the same way:

This aspect of the way Killua treats his sisters is consistently tricky for me to articulate because Killua doesn't end up treating her meanly or even think of Nanika poorly because of these projections—a lot of this is subconscious, Killua doesn't even realize he's doing it at first—which is what you might expect from someone who recognizes reasons for self-hatred in someone else.

I think this is simply because, at the end of the day, all of these negative assessments are still about himself—only about only his own emotions, his own internalized judgement. It’s not at all about Nanika. She's still a separate entity, someone in need of Killua's protection, so Killua can't hate her like he hates himself.

*In fact, Killua wants the best for her, wants people to love her as a part of Alluka which can be good, like he sees his own ugly traits. He even refuses to take advantage of her dangerous abilities, like he doesn’t want his own to be taken advantage of. Its projection of what he wants for himself onto Nanika—acceptance and love even if she is some Inhuman Dangerous Thing.

I can sort of infer this because Killua becomes confrontational with Illumi specifically when it comes to denying Nanika/Alluka personhood in a way he only does when Illumi is denying Killua personhood, which implies to me that Illumi doing it to Nanika/Alluka vicariously feels like another personal attack (which he can actually retaliate against now without that fuckass needle in his brain).

And just in case you weren't convinced, we do know this is projection because Killua kind of just admits it (lol):

I want to yap a little more about this but I'll put it under a readmore because it's kind of off topic. So if you just wanted answers for why I think Nanika is such a strong parallel to Killua, then you already have them lol

This scene (the one pictured above the readmore) sometimes cracks me up because of Killua’s reaction—the way he immediately slaps his cheeks and blames everything on Illumi. It’s a sort of comedic reaction to such a heartfelt (and extremely brave) ultimatum on Alluka’s end. I’ve seen some people think it’s just Killua wanting to defuse the argument, to get Alluka to listen to him so he can start to apologize correctly. But I don’t think that’s true, I think this reaction and the way he immediately brings up Illumi is a genuine realization on his end—after all, Illumi's name or presence is kind of a visual, verbal, and narrative shorthand for Killua's insecurities and the self-image he's clawing himself away from.

Up until now, Killua's never really thought about Alluka and Nanika as their own people, whether that be them separately or even just Alluka by herself. He never gave them real agency; not because he’s physically carrying them and not because he's not asking what they want, but because he’s just projecting that hard. Alluka is also tangled up in his feelings about his childhood (and Gon, as another facet of his projecting and also just as a consequence of the reason why he's rescuing them in the first place), and Nanika seemed to give her so much trouble—in the same way Killua’s own undesirable traits give him trouble—that I don’t think it literally ever occurred to him that Alluka could have a different opinion than he does.

I think Killua assumed Alluka would react to the news of Nanika needing to go away the same way he reacted to the news of him needing to leave Gon—with pained acceptance. That situation is a direct parallel to the dilemma of putting Nanika to sleep. But instead Alluka YELLS at him, and it forces him into realizing that his idea of his sister(s) was wrong. They aren’t the same person as him, his projection was unfounded, and he hurt them because of it.

Which is why he only realizes that his fear of Illumi was influencing the way he was acting then, because now he can actually look at them and see anything but his own reflection.

These pieces of dialogue: “I've been afraid of Illumi for so long... I got scared... and said some horrible things to you,” really do kind of say everything don’t they? He saw Nanika just like he sees himself, he wanted for her and thought about her this way for everything: both the good (wanting her to belong somewhere, to be safe) and the bad (the dehumanization, the deprioritization).

Killua can recognize that now, and apologize for doing that to her. For being a bad big brother.

And not only does doing this help him actually empathize with Nanika and Alluka as people whose experiences are unique from his, but Alluka’s reaction also demonstrates to Killua a self-love that isn’t reliant on the outlier model established in the Hunter Exam by Illumi and reinforced by Killua throughout the CAA (particularly echoed in the "You are light" scene, in which he directly steals 眩しすぎて out of Illumi's mouth).

As a side note, these two chapters are named Light and Darkness and Light and Shadow respectively—Gon being "light" (the novelty, the outlier) both times.

Alluka loves Nanika—her “darkness”—enough to cut off the outlier (Killua) if he doesn’t love her the same. Seeing someone he puts in the exact same ingroup as him so shamelessly love Nanika, in whom Killua recognizes things he hates about himself, actually gets through to him (whereas Gon’s previous affections couldn’t because he saw Gon as so fundamentally different).

It’s extremely important that Killua asks for this forgiveness. In the hospital, when he was talking to Gon through the window, we can see Killua knows the importance of apologies. He failed Gon, so saving him would be Killua’s apology. And Gon failed Killua too, so saying “sorry” would be his apology for that. It’s less about roles now, not about values or groups—less about Killua being useful and Gon being light—it’s more about actions.

For Alluka and Nanika, “big brother” was the role he felt guilty for not fulfilling—a catalyst for his projections onto them. Now he’s confronted with real proof of this failure and he doesn’t end up breaking over it like he might've before. Instead he apologizes because, due to Nanika, he knows Alluka loves unconditionally. And he trusts her, trusts her judgement of him, and trusts that he’s lovable enough to be accepted by her despite his failure.

—

Overall, I think it's really important that Nanika is introduced to the audience as a scary unknown, and that our first impression is slowly dissolved over time. It's a pervasive pattern in all the characters meant to ask questions of nature—Killua himself, the Chimera Ants, Palm, even the Phantom Troupe. Togashi is, like, deeply concerned with humanization and I think it's awesome because you get these narrative threads like the one with Nanika and Killua, where his doubts about himself and his own ability to love or be loved are narratively answered via giving or receiving compassion for/from someone else. In this way Hunter x Hunter tells us that proof of humanity is the capacity for connection. And isn't that something to think about?

[spidybaby]

Not Important

Summary: You get jealous at the new PSG intern and how much she's trying to get the attention of your boyfriend but he makes sure you know he's all yours. warning: slight cursing.

"Can you turn your phone off, please?" You asked for the third time in a row.

His phone has been blowing up with notifications since early. It's kind of tiring at this point for you. He was getting ready for his day, having a long training day before an important match.

"Let me just finish this," he says as he continues spreading the sunblock into his face.

Just when you were going to drift back into sleep, you heard another notification sound that took you out of your peace. Annoyed and angry at the sound, you decide to wake up and take matter into your own hands.

"Who's even texting you this early?" You ask as you lift yourself from the bed you reach over his side of the bed looking for the device. "Is Genevieve" You say to him.

"What?" is all he can ask as he exits the bathroom, ready to start his day.

You show the phone for him to see the text himself. Taking the phone from your hands and reading all his texts from Genevieve.

She's a new intern at PSG, Kylian told you that the same day he asked you to pick him up for training, introducing you to her. She was a nineteen year old who's in charge of helping the captain get things together, and since Kylian was the captain, while Marquinhos is recovering from an injury, she was the one helping him.

"She's saying Galtier wants to see me before training," he says while texting something back to her.

"And can't she wait for you to get there?" You walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth and start your morning routine since you already lost the little sleepiness in you.

You can hear Kylian laughing at your annoyed self. Knowing very well you're not the best morning person.

Finishing with your small routine of brushing your teeth and washing your face, you walk out ready to greet your boyfriend.

Hugging him from behind and kissing his neck is a little way to say "Don't go yet" hugging him tighter and kissing his shoulders was an invitation for him to stay and help you get a better morning start.

Turning around to face you and grabbing your face into his hands is a way for Kylian to let you know he's ready to accept that invitation, knowing very well he has enough time for it.

He kisses you while his hands get down from your cheeks to your waist, pulling you into him while he walks you to the bed.

Falling into it, he starts kissing your neck and finding that spot he knows it's your weakness. You can help but moan at the sensation, your hands finding the hem of his shirt and pulling it up. You throw it somewhere on the floor.

He pulls your -his- t-shirt, leaving you only with your underwear. "Tu es magnifique." He kisses the valley of your breasts while his hands touch the rest of you.

You moan his name, which is the only thing you can say. For him hearing your sounds is all the motivation he needs, the pride he feels, knowing he is the only one who can make you feel that way.

Pulling him up, you kiss him in a desperate way, needing to feel him close. You wrapped your legs around his waist. Deepening the kiss, you can feel his hands roaming around your body but not close to where you need him.

Your hands travel from his shoulders to his lower back, and just as you're about to pull down the remaining clothes, you hear his ringtone fill the room.

Scrunching your eyes at the sound, you pull a little but enough. "Don't. Forget about it. " You go back to the kiss feeling Kylian smile into it. The sound stops, and you can fully concentrate again into the way he's making you feel.

His hands find your underwear and lifting himself he looks at you for confirmation, action that you can't seem to get used to. Not even after all the time you two have been together, he stops asking for confirmation, always making sure you're comfortable.

You nod at him, putting your weight into your elbows to get a better view of him doing that, his hands pulling the piece of clothe that's working as a barrier from his main focus, throwing it around he kiss you again. You move your hands to his boner patting it, making Kylian moan into the kiss.

Again, your actions are interrupted by the sound of his phone, another call.

Grabbing his cheeks as a way for him not to get distracted with the sound of his ringtone. Kylian choke a chuckle. Your desperation to continue is adorable to him.

"Ky, non," you say as he stretches himself to get the phone. Turning your head to see the id caller, you see her name, "This has to be a joke." You try to reach for his phone, but he is quicker than you.

He shush you as he answers the call "Bonjour Genvieve." You can't hear what she's saying to him. Wanting to return to your activity "Tu as trois secondes pour raccrocher ce téléphone." (You have three seconds to hang up the phone), you whisper to him.

Kylian kisses you quickly as he continues the call. "Oui, ne t'en fais pas, je vais y être." (Yes, don't worry, I'll be there) he says and hangs up the phone.

"I'm sorry, chérie, but I have to go. " He lifts himself, and you whine at the loss of contact.

"C'est définitivement un bon matin." (This is definitely a good moring) you sarcasticly say as you search for the t-shirt you had on before. "Why can't she wait till you're there to bother you?" Pouting mad at the situation.

"She's just doing her job, chérie" he's trying to fix the situation on his pants. You put your underwear back and find his shirt. "Here," you say as you hand him the garment without looking at him.

"Chérie, don't be mad. Galtier is the one bothering her about me getting there early. " You can't help but roll your eyes at his explanation.

He finish putting himself together again and pull you closer in a hug "I promise I'll make it up to you as soon as I get back" he kiss your cheeks and hug you tightly "Je t'aime, mon amour".

You smile at him, knowing is not his fault. "Je t'aime, Ky." Kissing him was a way for him to know you're not mad at him. "Now go, because if I heard your phone go off again, I'll break it." You push him to the door after another kiss.

The day goes quickly to an end as you find yourself occupied doing some work. As you review your coworker job, you hear your phone. Taking a look at it, you notice Kylian calling you.

"Hi amour," you say happily as you answer the call.

"Oh, hi y/n." You stop reading the paper and turn your full attention at the phone. "Who is this?" You ask frowning.

"amm. It's Genevieve. " You stare for a while at the phone, not believing what you just hear. "Hello? are you there?" she asks as you stay silent for a while.

"Yes, is everything okay with Kylian?" you get worried "Yes, he ask me to call you and ask you to pick him up, please" she says in a monotone voice "Okay, I'll be there" hanging up the phone after that few words, you didn't meant to be rude to her but you can't also denied you're a little taken aback that Kylian asked her to call you.

Grabbing your stuff and keys, you exit your home. The drive was quick as you didn't live that far from there.

"Hi, I'm here to pick up Kylian" you show the guard your all access pass, a little something Kylian left in your car - and every single one of his own cars - for you to be able to access the practice field.

The guard opens the gate for you, and you thank him with a smile.

Practice wasn't over for another twenty minutes, you decide to see the last minutes of practice. Grabbing your phone, you got out of your car and walked inside the center.

You find your way into the field and sit yourself in one of the benches.

Kylian spots you and waves at you smiling, and you do the same to him.

The time goes quickly as you watch the team finish the training match.

Kylian is walking in your direction when somebody intercepts him, grabbing him by the arm. Thinking is one of the boys you make your way over to him.

Finding out little miss Genevieve with a bunch of paperwork, making him sign something. She's caressing his shoulders while he signs the pile of paper.

You're not a jealous person.

But seeing her touching him the way she did and him not saying anything move something in you. However, you didn't say anything, not wanting to create a scene.

You feel a pair of hands on your shoulders, shaking you a little bit.

"Hey, kiddo," Sergio says as he turns you around and gives you a hug. "It's been a while," he laughs as he gets away from you.

"Hi dad," you joke with him. Ramos and you had this inside joke where he once said you were his kid, as a way to get you inside a club, you were barely staring a relationship with Kylian, and the security at the club didn't believe you when you told them you where there with the PSG team so Sergio, a little drunk, got sent to help you, saying that making the security roll their eyes, knowing damn well that Sergio Ramos didn't have a teenage child, let alone a daughter. But that actually got you in and know it was an inside joke between the two of you. "How is mom?" Pilar and you had an amazing relationship. She was super nice with you, and you love her a lot.

"She's doing great, missing you, the kids too"

"we need to plan a dinner together"

Sergio turns his attention to Kylian, who was still signing whatever thing the intern girl handed him. He could ignore the way this girl had his hands on him, the same way you noticed that as soon as you got close to him.

"Hey blondie," he says, getting Genevieve attention. "Grab me a water, please," you smile at Sergio's action, knowing he's doing that to help you. "Kylian, hurry up"

Genevieve let go of Kylian and nodded at Sergio, making her way inside the center to get what he asked for.

Kylian finishes with the papers and turns to both Sergio and you smiling.

"Amour," he says, getting close to you and kissing you. "Let's go"

The three of you exit the field, and Kylian asked you to wait for him to get his things, not wanting to spend anymore time away from you.

"Hey, where is Ramos?" Your attention goes to the blonde carrying two bottles of water. You only shrug and turn your attention back to your phone. She groans and turns around, leaving you alone.

After a few minutes Kylian exit the locker room "let's go home, amour" he says looking at you with his hand out for you to take "and don't worry, my phone will be turn off for the rest of the day" he's all smiles today you thought as you grab his hand ready to go home, knowing he'll keep his promise and make up to you for this morning.

You're running into your apartment building, already late for the date you and Kylian have been planning for a while. Texting Kylian that you'll be with him as soon as possible. Already desperate with the elevator. You walk outside to focus on your phone to care when a body colapse into yours, making the person throw the papers they are holding.

"Oh, mon Dieu. Je suis navrée" (Oh my God, I'm sorry) you say as you help collecting the papers from the floor. You're about to apologize until you look up, noticing Genevieve collecting everything. "What are you doing here?" You ask, apology long gone now.

"Don't worry, I'm fine" she sarcastically say "Kylian ask me to pick some papers from his house" the tone she's using, the way she's remarking that's "his house", the attitude and the expression on her face is making you want to punch her. "You were at my house?" You ask quickly."How the hell you got in?" The tone of your voice matches hers.

She shows you a spare key you and Kylian keep in case of emergency at the reception desk. Without hesitation, you take the key from her, too quick for her to try to stop you.

You get up and walk to your house, not caring about the remaining papers on your hand. You enter your house using the key you took from her. Throwing it next to all the other keys you have.

As you got into your shared room, you abruptly stop, the smell of her perfume catching being too obvious for you to ignore it. She got into your room and sprayed her perfume. Was she crazy? you wonder what else she did while she was there, making a mental note to check the cameras.

Not wanting to ruin the whole plan you and Kylian had, you run into the bathroom trying to be quick and not let your boyfriend wait for that long.

Thankfully, you were quick and Kylian only waited a few minutes, which he said, wasn´t that bad. The night went on amazingly, you guys were able to relax from all the crazy week you had.

"I miss your mom" you say as he finish talking about something his mom told him "we should go visit" he says drinking his wine "let's go tomorrow, I have all day cleared and you don't" your planning is interrupted by his phone.

"Sorry, Chèrie" he said as he declined the call and turned the volume of his phone down. "You were saying," he smiled at you, the action making you feel butterflies. The both of you really prioritize the little time you get as Kylian has a stretch agenda during league season.

"Let's go tomorrow," you say, taking his hands on yours "please" you say, making puppy eyes. Kylian laughs slightly at your begging, loving the relationship you and his family have.

"Yes, I'm texting Ethan to let him know about our plans." He closed the distance between the two of you. But the kiss is not long, feeling his phone vibrate on the table, you pull and grab it, not caring and him letting you doing it, about to press decline when you check the name Genevieve. You feel the same feeling you had at the training center, jealousy.

You answer the phone without even thinking twice. "Kyky, baby, finally, I need to tell you something that happened with the pap." You didn't even let her finish, baby? what the hell? "Kylian is not available, not now, not later and not tomorrow, but I can pass him the message" you try to sound normal, Kylian watching you smiling, thinking you where talking to a friend of his, you can help but feeling uncomfortable but not wanting him to know.

"Oh it's you, put Kylian on the phone" you try to not show you discomfort as you laugh pretending she say something funny "you´re so funny, so cute, I'll make sure he knows, also he's not going to be available for the rest of the night and even the weekend, goodbye" you hang up and quickly activate the "do not disturb" mode on his phone.

"Who was it?" he asked happy, not thinking anything bad "Genevieve, such a funny girl, she mentioned she was not going to be available and wanted you to know that so you don't think she's lost or something" the fake tone of your voice is undetected by him. Smiling as you returned the phone to him.

"So about tomorrow," you say, ignoring, again, the situation for the sake of the night.

Kylan and you were cuddling while watching something on tv. Well, he was watching the game while you were fighting the urge to sleep and Kylian caressing your back, and your hair was not help at all.

"allons au lit, amour" (let's go to bed) he say after turning the tv off "but is early, and we need to eat before bed" you say while rubbing your eyes.

Kylian kiss your head, helping you get up and making your way to the kitchen. "I don't want to cook" you say, hugging him. He laughs at your state. "Want some takeout?" he pulls his phone out of his pocket as he opens the delivery app "what you're feeling?" checking the app with him, you both choose a burger from a well-known restaurant and a salad to share.

While you wait, Kylian is telling you about his day, everything he did at training, about him meeting a fan. The happiness he has while talking about it makes you happy. Your talk is paused by Wilfrid, his father, calling him to know how he's doing. He walks to the shared room to find his charger. You wait for the food downstairs.

You were making some lemonade and watching a tik tok your friend send you about the drama going on with celebrities, the sound of the doorbell distracting you from your video. You were surprised at how quickly the food was delivered. When you opened the door, the last person you thought you would see was there.

The blonde girl was looking at you with an annoyed expression. The feeling was mutual, of course. "Genevieve, what?" You say not caring to be respectful enough to greet her. "What are you doing at Kylian's house?" The question itself was disrespectful, but the way she pushed you to enter was worse.

"Can you call him, I have something for him." she stood there at the entrance with a box, and you have been patient with her. But this took you out. You were mad.

"Get out," you say, pointing at the corridor. "Now Genevieve, go!" You didn't want to scream at her, even if she deserved that. "I'm not leaving, I said go get Kylian, I need to give him this." she says and points at the box she's holding with one hand.

Your patience ran out, but you only took the box from her hands, put it on the little table by the door. Genevieve looked at you confused and definitely didn't expect you to grab her by the arms and pull her outside. "Listen kid" you say once you were out of the door "You need to leave, now" your tone was serious, the look in your eyes making Genevieve rethink her actions "You need to stop bothering me, bothering him, I don't care if it's your job, because I know it's not, your job is from 9 to 5, your job is not to fuck your boss so stay in your fucking line and leave us alone. You can't come into my house and bother me as if I'm the one on your way. You're on my way, so leave now."

You let her go and got inside again, slamming the door on the way. You grab the box and took it with you to the kitchen, helping you with scissors to open it you notice the cake inside, a red, blue and white cake with a heart shape that reads "To the best boss ever". You feel nauseous as that horrible feeling is sitting on your stomach.

"Kylian, come here right now," you yell for him to hear since he was on the second floor. Thinking it was the food, he said goodbye to his father and promised to call him before practice. As he go down the stairs, he find you at the bottom of them with an angry face, thinking it was something with the food.

"What's wrong? did they mess up the order?" he says while looking at his phone. You took the phone out of his hands, and grabbing his hand, you pulled him to the kitchen. This action got him confused, still thinking it was about the food.

"Look at that," you say, pointing at the box with an angry expression. He gets closer and looks at the cake, reading what it says. He finds it a cute gesture, not really finding why you were so mad about it. "Aw c'est mignon" (Aw, that's so cute) digging his finger into the cream on top of the cake and trying it.

Your anger only grows. How can he be so calm with all of this?. "I can't, Kylian," you finally say. "I can't with this girl. She's always all over you, too handsy, too everything, and you do nothing to stop her. I can't do this anymore, if you don't put a stop on this I will and it's not going to be nice" your voice elevates a little while you express you feelings, tired of keeping them.

Kylian looks at you with widen eyes, not sure what he did wrong. "Amour, what are you talking about?" This question makes you laugh, but not a funny laugh like he's used to."Kylian, is this a joke?" You say trying not to explote.

"What? y/n why would I be joking about?" he's more confused now. Were you the one pranking him? "Amour, please explain." he tried to get close to you, but you didn't let him, lifting your hand in a stop signal. "Genevieve, she's all over you, and I don't like it. She's always calling you, and she's very disrespectful to me. " You tried to stay calm, not wanting to explote. Not wanting to fight with him.

The way his eyes open after the last words, "What do you mean she's disrespectful with you?" he's a very calm person, not a fan or arguments "She's always giving me the cold shoulder, she's always looking over me, giving me dirty looks, she's very disrespectful as when you let her pick some papers here, she entered to our room and sprayed her perfume, she also just drop this and asked me to call you as if I'm some random girl and she's the owner of this place, Kylian I don't want to be rude to her but I can't stand her and my patience run out."

Kylian knew Genevieve had a crush on him. It was obvious, but he never thought she was treating you this way, not you.

"Okay," he says and takes his phone, texting Patric, the boss of interns about this behavior. Not wanting to wait. "Okay?" You ask as you don't find that answer enough.

"Chérie, nobody is disrespecting you, and nobody is making you feel this way, so I'm dealing with this right know, let me do it, okay?" he calls Patric, you hear the conversation, he explains the situation, and Patric promises to remove her from the team, not wanting this story to repeat itself with other players of the team.

"Done" he says leaving the phone on the table and taking your hands "look chérie, I'm sorry I didn't notice this before, I thought it was some immature teenage behavior and I regret not talking that with you, you're the most important person in my life. Believe me that she's not important, never was, never will, nobody will. For me it's only you, but now" he pause to grab your face so you look at him "you miss, need to talk to me about this things, we are a team amour, we are one, and if you're not comfortable tell me, don't hide this from me. Deal?"

You kiss him, grateful for him being so smart and calm, making you always feel protected, loved, and important.

"Deal" you say, hugging him tight.

[m43d4y]

For fun here is how I imagine the dudelings would react to getting hugged by Peepaw (P4)

Again this is mostly just for fun so don't take it super seriously (altho there are some serious topics) it's just pretty much my personal headcanons for their personalities :)!!

-P1-

Peepaw is literally the only person he trusts in this fucked up world, no one else but the old man takes his paranoia seriously and genuine tries to help him through it. So if gramps were to give him a hug he would immediately latch on, death grip on his robe anywhere his hands rest with his head burried in his chest. He can't say anything in his moment, just accepting the warm embrace of the one man in this world who cares about him, his parents didn't... Not even the other Dudes. So he would fully welcome it, probably crying into his clothes if his emotions overwhelm him. But more often than not he will be fully quiet, as if he was a kid hiding in a closet trying to make his breathing as quiet as possible.

-P2-

Any sort of physical contact makes this man tense up, so a hug would not be any different. Although rather strangely he wouldn't push him away, simply standing in place with his arms flush to his sides. Sure he would be telling the old man to fuck off or acting like he hates it but a small part of him knows he needs it. Or may he does hate it, maybe he'll immediately push Peepaw off and say something about he's not some sissy who needs to be coddled. It really depends on his mood, but most of the time he will resist and be all grumbly about it. He just hates physical contact pretty much.

-P3-

Mr carefree and snarky would be all the same, laughing and making jokes the entire time as if it doesn't effect him at all. It's just a hug! He has no reason to get all angry or emotional about it! But rather notably he wouldn't be hugging back... He'd just stand there laughing and saying how the old man can stop... But he doesn't. And the longer this goes on the sooner the man's internal feelings will show. Telling Peepaw how he didn't need his cheap affection, no more laughter and no more jokes as he's trying his hardest to contain himself. All he wants is to be seen and heard... And as soon as he gets it he doesn't know what to do with it. He hates getting choked up...

BONUS!! -Other Dude-

Nothing. Absolutely no reaction. Not even a joke, no anger, no nothing. Maybe mocking laughter at the start but after that he'll go deathly quiet. He genuinely feels nothing about this, he'll only let it go on for a while longer before letting the old man's blood soaked body fall to the ground.

[luckyfinch]

nobody asked for this but i need an outlet to rant about the newest helluva boss episode before i explode so beware spoilers for s2e11 Mastermind below

okokokokkookok blitz’s face as he realizes what stolas is doing . its so perfectly captured. like, he’s there being verbally berated basically by stolas while on the chopping block, not rlly sure what the fuck he’s on about, and then u can just SEE the exact second he realizes stolas is acting to take the eyes off of himself

and once he understands what stolas is trying to do he fucking PANICS, cause HOLY SHIT STOLAS IS THROWING HIMSELF UNDER SATAN’S WRATH FOR *BLITZ* (and especially despite all the issues they’d been having recently—the “I don’t deserve this!” line truly frames Blitz’s guilt perfectly)

and the visual of blitz struggling against *gold chains* here ?!?!?!?!?? AMAZING parallel to his truth-hallucination back in s1e6 (Truth Seekers) where he easily lets himself be dragged up to Stolas by *gold chains*.

this specific parallel is sooo cool. the hallucination was a clear show of Blitz feeling trapped in some way by Stolas, and the detail of him having to climb up a big fancy set of stairs to get to stols was a good visual representation of the large class difference they have, being royalty and an imp, as that is a big issue in their relationship. but still, Blitz wasn’t fighting at all; in fact, in Truth Seekers, he RUNS to the stairs, he lets himself get pulled up, he is visibly uncomfortable as the chains appear yet makes so struggle at all as he nears stolas. he blushes and then looks so ASHAMED of it. its a great way to show Blitz’s internal struggles without outright saying it all. he’s afraid of love and ashamed of wanting it, he feels trapped or as i personally think is more accurate here he feels confined/smothered by Stolas’ affections, and he can’t let himself think the prince would ever actually mean what he says so he sees it all as mocking/degrading instead of as the affection Stolas probably means it as, and so he feels stuck.

BUT. butbutbut but when Blitz is chained and faced with Stolas in Mastermind, he isn’t on hands and knees climbing up a metaphorical staircase to reach Stolas—Stolas is basically throwing himself down the fucking stairs for Blitz’s sake. Blitz here is instead FIGHTING the chains with all he has, and rather than being pulled to Stolas he’s fighting to reach out for Stolas himself.

then, the visual parallels of the golden feathers from the same scenes!!!

the symbolism here (from my personal thoughts) is of freedom, and the lack of. going off of Blitz feeling smothered by Stolas as represented by the chains and then more aggressively the golden feathers, the feathers as shown in the hallucination are a product of Stolas, and so I took it as his attention and status and general presence as physically overwhelming Blitz. then in Mastermind, Stolas is instead walking easily through/past the golden feathers, and behind him they fly easily past Blitz as well.

in the same bit there Stolas says “I am the master of my fate” , Blitz says “I realized too late” … i feel like the significance here of Stolas walking past the feathers like this in the context of them representing being smothering/overwhelming/controlling, this is showing Stolas taking control of his life himself for once, like really truly taking full control. no longer is he overwhelmed because in a way, by being disgraced, he’s being freed from the responsibility and weight put on him by his father and generally for his role as a goetia. likewise, Blitz is left to at last look at Stolas and see him clearly without the feathers to blind him—all he sees is Stolas, putting his power and richess and status on the line without hesitation to save his life.

at LONG. long. long last, Blitz is being fully forced to accept Stolas truly loves him, because there is like actually no denial for him now. no “he couldnt love an imp hes a goetia” bro just exchanged EVERYTHING for Blitz’s life in a second, and LOST IT ALL for him. now, they are on basically equal footing for the first time.

and i must say i love how gentle blitz is with stolas after the trial. also everyone MUST remember here that Blitz gave his room up for Loona, so his bed is the couch. and he immediately sets up stolas on the couch. dude gave his bed up again so next ep i best get a shot of them cuddling at last or of blitz determinedly sleeping on the floor

to end my ranting i HAVE TO talk abt the significance of this single scene. forget blitz blushing before this, and forget kissing him on the cheek. ok. listen. this specific frame is so special to me. this is like the first time blitz is —without any witness to prove anything to — showing nonsexual intimate affection . to stolas no less. as stolas is asleep, there is zero pressure to do anything at all, to smile or to be kind or gentle or to do ANYTHING. and he oh so gently brushes the feathers from his face and touches his head lightly for a moment while smiling down at him like that. he’s finally accepted his feelings and he can’t even reasonably doubt Stolas’ affections in this moment, for this single moment everything is so. AUUUSHHHAHAHAHAHAHAJHJGJHA i love this

okay ranting over

final note: i LOVE the song from this ep so much its awesome its stuck in my head vocals were beautiful

[theelfmaid]

The Volturi Kings and Their Hesitation to Fall in Love with a Member of the Low Guard

Aro:

1. Initial Hesitation: Aro struggles with the idea of falling in love with a low guard member due to the potential complications it could create in his leadership role.

2. Drawn to Loyalty and Dedication: Aro is irresistibly drawn to the low guard member's unwavering loyalty and dedication to their duties, making it challenging for him to ignore his feelings.

3. Conflicting Desires: Aro grapples with conflicting desires – the longing for intimacy versus the need to maintain authority and unity among the Volturi.

4. Torn Loyalties: Aro is torn between his loyalty to the Volturi and his growing affection for the low guard member. He must navigate the delicate balance between his duty as a leader and his desire for a personal connection.

5. Manipulative Nature: Aro's manipulative tendencies come to the forefront as he tries to sway the situation to his advantage. He may use his powers to probe the minds of the other Kings to assess their feelings and strategies.

6. Fear of Vulnerability: Aro's ambitious and snobbish facade masks a fear of vulnerability. He worries that opening himself up to love might make him appear weak or emotionally exposed, which goes against his carefully crafted image.

7. Testing Boundaries: Aro pushes the limits of tradition within the Volturi, contemplating the idea of changing their long-standing rules regarding romantic relationships within the guard.

Marcus:

Resisting Emotional Attachments: Marcus is initially guarded, trying to resist forming emotional attachments and avoiding the potential complications of love with a low guard member.

2. Stirred by Uniqueness: The low guard member's uniqueness and charm stir Marcus' emotions, making him reconsider his stance on emotional detachment.

3. Confiding in Aro and Caius: Marcus confides in Aro and Caius about his growing feelings, seeking their advice and trying to understand his own emotions.

4. Longing for Companionship: Marcus longs for genuine companionship, and the low guard member's presence offers him a chance at finding true connection.

5. Overcoming Fear of Loss: Marcus fears losing the low guard member due to his reluctance to embrace love fully, and he struggles to overcome this fear to allow their relationship to grow.

6. Regret and Guilt: Marcus grapples with feelings of regret and guilt over his past actions, which may have contributed to the loss of his mate, Didyme. This emotional baggage affects his ability to fully embrace a new romantic relationship.

7. Longing for Closure: The low guard member's presence triggers a longing for closure regarding his past with Didyme. Marcus must confront his unresolved feelings while attempting to move forward with a new love interest.

8. Conflicting Desires: Marcus battles conflicting desires between maintaining his apathetic facade to shield himself from pain and allowing himself to feel happiness and love once more.

9. Bonding Over Shared Loss: The low guard member may have their own tragic past, which creates a unique bond with Marcus. They find solace in each other's company, offering understanding and support.

Caius:

1. Internal Struggle: Caius grapples with conflicting emotions, torn between his attraction to the low guard member and the fear of compromising his position as a ruler.

2. Fearing Judgment: Caius fears the judgment of others, worried about how their relationship could be perceived by the Volturi and whether it might undermine their authority.

3. Rare Moments of Tenderness: Despite his reservations, Caius exhibits rare moments of tenderness and affection towards the low guard member, revealing his deeper feelings.

4. Discussions with Other Kings: Caius seeks counsel from Aro and Marcus, discussing his emotional turmoil and seeking guidance on how to proceed.

5. Confronting Vulnerability: Caius must confront his own vulnerability and accept that falling in love is a risk he might have to take if he wants to pursue a relationship with the low guard member.

6. Angry: Caius is known for his short temper and easily triggered anger, which can create a tense atmosphere within the Volturi. This anger often masks his vulnerability and insecurities, including those related to the prospect of falling in love with a low guard member.

7. Rude: Caius tends to be blunt and rude in his interactions, unapologetically speaking his mind even if it hurts others' feelings. This brusque demeanor can be a challenge when navigating a delicate romantic relationship, as he may unintentionally hurt the low guard member with his harsh words while grappling with his feelings.

8. Past Heartbreak: Caius might have experienced heartbreak in the past, which intensifies his reluctance to fall in love again. The fear of repeating painful history haunts him.

9. Clashes with the Low Guard: Caius' anger and rude tendencies might lead to conflicts with the low guard member, creating tension and obstacles in their relationship.

10. Learning from the Low Guard: The low guard member's unwavering dedication and kindness challenge Caius to reevaluate his own attitudes and behavior, inspiring personal growth and introspection.

AN: one more headcanon for u guys who loves the volturi leaders. Thank u for liking the other one, I am very happy.

[lnkguts]

Possessor of the six eyes and limitless, Satoru always felt invincible. He knew what he was capable of from a young age. The fear shown on the faces of those around him spoke volumes. The shy glances from boys and girls around his age told him he looked decent. He never looked at his reflection on a mirror as it was deemed bad luck in the Gojo clan. Once or twice, he caught a glimpse of himself in the clear lake near his home.

The first person to show him absolute zero fear after meeting him for the first time was Geto Suguru.

It summed up the kind of person he was. Fearless and unbothered.

-

The first words they exchanged with each other were rather memorable. At least, for Satoru.

"You look like you need a shrink." Satoru grinned, taking in the wavy long black hair, heavy eye bags, and the seemingly permanent frown on the man in front of him. His six eyes take in more details, but to Suguru, he's not looking anywhere but at his own pair of eyes.

"You need a blindfold. Your eyes are disgustingly blue." Suguru didn’t wait for a response as he continued walking across the bridge to Jujutsu High. He wonders if he should've commented on the white hair too while he's in his vicinity, but quickly dismisses the thought to focus on his priorities.

Satoru felt a weird twist inside his chest at the jab with a tilt of his head. No one has ever commented on the color of his eyes. If anything, people avoided looking at him directly to protect themselves.

He brushes off the comment and smiles widely, going after Suguru. "I'm Satoru! You didn't tell me your name. We're gonna see each other often, so might as well."

I know, Suguru thought internally. "Suguru." He mumbled as his brows furrowed in annoyance. He was told Gojo Satoru is a quiet boy, so what's with all this chatter.

-

Three years later...

-

"Suguru~"

"Hm?"

"Let's go get takoyaki.", He whines, his lips sagging into a dramatic pout that Suguru sucks his teeth at.

For a brief moment, Suguru looks at Satoru's eyes. Well, at his blindfold to be exact. He wants to see his eyes, but it's something he'd never voice out loud. It's a ridiculous thought.

Satoru told him his grandpa had urged him to wear the blindfold two years ago until he could fully master controlling his six eyes.

"You're buying." Suguru stands up, shoving his hands in his pockets and heading out of the classroom.

Satoru puts his hands up in victory and pumps his fists a few times before catching up to his friend so he can walk by his side. He always walked to Suguru's left. He never asked, but he knows Suguru prefers it that way.

Suguru witnessed in real time how social the man became. It used to bother him, but he accepted that's how he'd be and there's no changing it. As long as Satoru didn't force him to be around people he didn't want to befriend.

Of course, Satoru sharpened his six eyes and limitless so he wouldn't spiral. He had his clan honor to uphold.

A few months ago, Suguru found out about the pain Satoru experienced once in a while in his eyes. The pain was explosive and Satoru tried his best that night to suppress it as much as he could. It was during their 3rd sleepover. Satoru tried to avoid him and leave his home after giving a poor excuse, but he demanded an answer so he could help in some way. He couldn't help. He hated that all he could do was watch Satoru groan and squirm in pain in his sleep. He hated that after the pain began, Satoru put his blindfold on immediately with shaky heads.

"Why are these ugly eyes giving you grief? Tsk."

Suguru knew how embarrassed Satoru felt as he helped him tie it in the back and that's probably why the man left so early in the morning even though he hated mornings and they had no classes that day. He wanted to tell him that it was okay and he'd stay by his side, but it was just one of those unnecessary thoughts. Satoru's strong. He'll be fine.

A few things annoy him. Satoru has a well for a stomach, he was now taller than Suguru and wouldn't shut up about it, he forces Suguru to try new things with him, and the list goes on. Maybe these things weren't annoyances, but something else.

-

A month later...

-

"I can't play basketball today." Satoru scribbled away in his textbook, drawing fake curses he's never come across. He hums and draws an exaggerated and deformed pair of ears with a smug face.

"Why?" Suguru asks, glancing at the crown of Satoru's head. Satoru didn't have his blindfold on, so he wanted him to look at him. Satoru always did the opposite. He'd hold Suguru's eye contact when he had his blindfold on and look away when it was off. Suguru hated it and hated how it stirred up an ugly feeling inside him.

"I have a date in the city." Satoru answered in a low voice but clear enough for Suguru to hear. The words hit Suguru's ears like bricks and he swallowed.

"A what? With who?" Suguru asks, controlling the tone of his voice so it doesn't sound off. It didn't work and the pitch of his voice rose. He wanted to slap himself.

Satoru chuckles and looks up, holding eye contact with Suguru for a fraction of a second before standing up and putting his blindfold on.

Suguru wanted to rip that blindfold off and shove it down his throat. Stupid fucking barrier. A barrier that Satoru didn't even need to put up when he was around him, but did it anyway.

"It's a blind date. Shoko's friend. Apparently, I played Go with him a long time ago." Satoru pauses for a few seconds before adding, "..And he likes my eyes." Satoru whispered but Suguru heard him loud and clear.

Satoru waves his right hand before exiting the classroom. "See you, Suguru."

Suguru lets out a shaky exhale he didn't know he was holding in. He pulls on his hair tie and lets his ponytail free, suddenly feeling a migraine creeping up on him.

-

Suguru watches Satoru and a boy he doesn't recognize laughing and eating fried chicken. Satoru ruffles the boy's hair and it forms a lump in Suguru's throat. What makes the ache in his chest worse is seeing Satoru blindfold free.

Suguru's mixed feelings mush and spike into anger. What did he not have that the strange boy had? What did he lack? He knew he was worthless, but to this degree? Was he not a good friend?

He watches the scene several feet away from him unfold for three more minutes. The boy across Satoru shakes his drink, pouting at the fact that it's probably finished. Satoru wastes no second offering his drink to which the boy happily drinks from with a rosy blush dancing on his cheeks.

Suguru's hand tremors come back in full swing and he curls his fingers into fists before shoving them in his pockets. He turns away and starts walking mindlessly.

-

"Suguru."

Suguru doesn't stop walking even though his heart skips a beat at the voice calling out to him.

"SUGURU!"

His steps come to a halt and he turns around. He controls the tone of his voice this time and speaks as if there isn't a hurricane brewing inside.

"How was your date, Satoru? Over already?"

"You stalking me, Sugu?"

Suguru frowns at the nickname for a second before his lips stretch into a fake smile. He wants to ask several questions regarding his date, but that'd make him look ridiculous. Just utterly pathetic.

"Of course not. Actually, it's good you're here. I should tell you the news now. I'm leaving Jujutsu High. It might sound sudden, but-"

"Stop." Satoru's brows furrow in confusion and the beating of his heart gradually accelerates.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Satoru walks a step closer. Suguru remains where he is.

"I'm leaving. It was planned a month ago. I'm set. It was nice o-"

Satoru cuts him off again. His chest is heaving now and his breaths come out fast and are cut short.

"Are you fucking joking right now? We graduate next week and we're going after a special grade and..y-you're quitting. Am I going crazy right now?" Satoru points a finger at his chest and swallows audibly.

Suguru's expression remains dull. "If you don't believe me, ask Yaga sensei. I came to say goodbye." It's true. He's contemplated it for months and decided recently that he was going to walk away from all this. He won't confess that his choice was fully set in stone after seeing Satoru with his date.

Sayonara Satoru, Suguru whispers in his head.

Satoru takes two steps forward, his long legs eating up the space between them until he's mere inches away from Suguru.

He whispers through gritted teeth. "Why do I feel like I'm being punished right now?"

Suguru's heart drops and a sharp pain twists in his throat. He wants to say a final word and leave but the word crumbles and turns to dust before it could leave past his lips. His mouth dries up, and he feels nauseated. He's even more angry at these ridiculous actions of his own body. Why's it so against him?

After a whole silent minute, Suguru asks, "How was the date? Do you like him?" Is he good for you? Am I not good for you?

Satoru's pupils dilate and his heart doesn't slow down. He wants to throttle the man in front of him. He wants to ask him to come to his senses. Maybe it's his fault. He tries to rack his brain to find out if he had done something that had been Suguru's last straw.

Suguru takes in the shades of electric blues swirling in Satoru's eyes. This is the longest Satoru has held eye contact with him for and maybe that's why he's struggling to bid farewell and leave.

A flashback of a dream he had a year ago washes over him like cold water.

"Suguru, what's your favorite color? Mine's every color of my favorite sweets. Pink, blue, purple.."

Suguru laughs wholeheartedly and ruffles his hair.

"Look at me Satoru."

And Satoru does. The shine of the blue in his eyes turns dark and they sparkle in a way that makes Suguru's heart almost burst right out of his chest. The feeling is so sweet it makes his teeth ache.

"My favorite color is the color that looks at me now."

Satoru's eyebrows shot up and his eyes blew wide open. He blushes and a sheepish smile dances on his face. When Suguru reaches his hand over to caress a blushed cheek, Satoru swats his hand away and shouts in his face, "WAKE UP!"

Suguru remembers the way his heart hammered in his throat after he woke up from that dream. He never laughed the way he did in his dream in real life. Satoru would ask him often to stop holding in his laughs when he told a really good joke.

He brings himself back to reality where Satoru is still staring at him with crazed eyes and a stance like he's ready to pounce any second.

A few more seconds pass and a bell dings in the distance.

Suguru remembers. He remembers a comment he made and his mouth becomes the Sahara. The first words he told Satoru. How could he forget them?

"You need a blindfold. Your eyes are disgustingly blue."

His stomach is in knots and he remembers a few other comments he's made in passing, insulting Satoru's eyes. Is that why he'd never look him in the eye for more than a second? Did Satoru take those words to heart? He knows that Suguru didn't actually mean them. He knows, right?

Fear grabbed him in its embrace.

-

(I'm going to stop here. I had an idea and wrote all this in a few minutes. As you can tell, I rushed thru it like hell. Should I expand on this story? Why do I already miss them? There's so much more I want to write but I'm hungry so bye satosugu and you who's reading this)

[turtlestm]

i think this art has deeper meanings that no one talks about (banana fish theory)

take this opinion with a grain of salt because im definitely not someone who's been a long-time fan of banana fish therefore im relatively fresh in this fandom. i also havent read the entirety of the manga so take that too. this is just my thoughts on this art from angel eyes

yall ready? okay so here's my take: when ash initially conceptualizes someone who desires him, eiji in this case, he approaches it as if it's sexual rather than emotionally sensual because it's all he's known desire as. the only way he's known desire directed towards him is a sexual desire, one for his body in one way or another. however, when eiji shows his desire for ash, he desires his whole self, inside and out and all the ugly parts, therefore gazing deeply into ash's eyes, his soul.

this also makes me think abt the fact that in the prison scene, ash decided to kiss eiji right on the lips even though he didnt really have to (let's face it, he could've given the note thru a handshake) despite eiji showing no desire for his body prior to this, but he inadvertently showed that he wants to stick by ash's side despite hardly knowing him. ash probably was using that kiss to test the waters in some sort of way, most likely how eiji would respond rather than if he himself would enjoy the kiss.

i don't think ash had fully formed any kind of actual romantic feelings for eiji at that point, but i do think he was trying to convey a genuine trust for eiji when he kissed him back then while eiji didn't seem to really care for kissing ash and only stuck around for him

with this example i mean to say that ash saw the way eiji was treating him and how he showed ash kindness and wanted to test to see if ash's company or whatever is really what eiji wants by kissing him and seeing how eiji would respond. but since eiji doesn't seem to care about ash for any ulterior motive or sexual attraction, eiji's innocence shines through and he sees ash as only ash, not as his body or his benefits

this is especially meaningful to their relationship and development because this indicates that eiji has seen ash for who he is from the start. i also believe things probably would have turned out a bit worse (at least on an internal level) if eiji kissed back, which would probably have shattered some of the trust that ash had placed in him so early.

someone also mentioned on twitter the composition of this art rather than just the poses themselves; eiji is above ash, as if initiating an act while ash is grappling with how he should feel about his sexual attraction to eiji. as ash's story has not given him the freedom or bodily autonomy to decide a sexuality for himself (even taking away the one person he liked when he was fourteen, a.k.a. his one chance he had to explore his sexuality at his own will), he technically doesn't exactly have his own sexuality discovered and thus does not know how to interpret the way he feels about eiji. yes there is love, yes there is affection, and yes he does open himself up to eiji in ways he would never open up to anyone else in his life, but sexual interactions have been so tainted in his eyes due to his trauma. he only has ever been taught to associate sex acts with trauma so eiji is new to him.

eiji is not just an experience, but a person. the type of relationship they have is new to both characters. it's eiji's first time experiencing romantic love (as far as we know) and it's ash's first time experiencing sexuality that he doesn't want to run away from.

it's clear that ash wants intimacy and he wants to accept that desire, but it is a rough journey for him that eiji is willing to stick around to see through. that's probably why eiji is initiating the kiss here, because he wants to give ash a little push to evaluate how he feels here. i believe that he is waiting for ash to respond and ash's eyes scan eiji's lips while eiji watches his eyes to see what ash observes.

[class1akids]

Some thoughts about Ch 419 - character agency and origin

I'm way behind, but wanted to add my 2c on the debate relating to the AFO "twist" and what it means for Tenko to have AFO at the core of his existence. It made me think once again of the Shouto-Shigaraki parallels .

I didn't take it quite as bad as some of the fandom, because:

we kind of already knew AFO was behind it, we just didn't know the full extent

unlike a lot of people, I didn't think that Tenko being saved by vestige magic hugs, sidestepping Tomura's adult personality and going hand in hand with child!Izuku to fight the big bad would have been a good conclusion.

I also don't think that Tenko not having any agency is necessarily a bad thing. You see, my favourite character, Shouto is a lot like Tenko. His birth, his quirk, the loss of his family, every trauma that shaped him as a child leads back to Endeavor. He's born to be his weapon to use as he wishes.

His lack of agency doesn't make him a boring character. In fact, I find it fascinating how the story shows us Shouto clawing back his agency, identity inch by painful inch, until he's able to stand firm and say - so I can AFFIRM the reason for being born. So let's look at saving Shouto, because I do think it's kind of a blueprint not only for saving Tenko/Tomura, but to Tenko/Tomura rising to save others.

And if we remember Shouto's journey - yes, it starts with a moment of a hero reaching out to him, reconnecting him to his child self who was told that he can choose who he wants to be, he can be a hero.

Notice though how being reconnected to his child self, is not an insta-save. Baby!Shouto doesn't just take over UA!Shoto and erase his personality or past mistakes. Shouto himself has to do the work. He has to face his own shitty choices, like giving the cold shoulder to Inasa or not seeing his mom for a decade and try to reconcile who he is NOW after the abuse, grooming and being driven by negative feelings. Taking ownerships of his mistakes (even if the source is Endeavor) is one of the ways to emancipation.

But it's also not a straight path. Shouto experiences being faced with his childhood dream as a nerf (just like Tomura did now lose to AFO) because of the trauma and doubts he carries. He momentarily loses his will to fight.

For people who never had agency in their lives like Shoto or Tomura, the simple truth that you get to make choices is hard to internalize and the constant doubt whether it's a choice you make by yourself or are you just walking down the path your "creator" set out for you remains.

And how could it not? Shouto wants to be a hero and wants to be not like his father who is the No 1 hero now. It's a contradiction, no? And it takes Shouto 200+ chapters to come up with an answer to reconcile the tension - he wants to be a reassuring hero - something Endeavor never was. Having this goal in his mind, he's able to accept more and more of the tools his father gave him - his quirk, Endeavor's techniques, even gear that looks like his father's - because as long as he's rooted in his own will, his own goal, he gets to keep his own identity, he gets to affirm his reason.

This is why I want not some idealized child Tenko to vanquish AFO. I think it's much more powerful if the person who makes a return is Tomura (who is also Tenko, but I use Tomura as a shorthand for his adult self, the person who he has become).

And while it's undeniable that AFO is deeply at the core of Tenko's origin (just like Endeavor is for Shouto), I also think he's gaslighting Tomura when he says Tomura never made a choice. And I'm talking about the League here specifically.

The bonds Tomura created with Touya, Toga, Spinner, Compress, Twice, Magne, etc - are fully choices he made. AFO let it happen - but the League (a place for outcasts to be accepted) are Tomura's choices.

Just as for Shoto the friends he made are instrumental in him earning his agency, being able to affirm his existence and not crumble from tragedy, the LoV is the key for Tomura to start to claw back his own.

And that's why I think it's narratively desirable for them to be part of Tomura's endgame (also to mirror Deku who would be fully an OFA/All Might creation if not for the friends and allies he made for himself and who all come to his aid in the end).

The League is also the place where the Tenko/Tomura faultlines can be reconciled into a whole. Tenko's desire to be heroic (to play with the outcasts) and Tomura's desire to stand with his allies/friends (the villains). So it boils down into a moment of wanting to be the Hero of the Villains. That's Tomura affirming himself right there. This is not AFO's path for him, but it's him reintegrating everything he has become, his truths and understanding of the world, his bonds that shaped him into that childhood dream. (It's like Shouto's "reassuring hero" moment).

And I think Tomura losing himself to the trauma, PTSD, etc. momentarily is ok too. He lost the rage that drove him forward (like Shouto in the final of the Sport Festival) and is untethered right now. He will need to find a positive emotion to become his drive to take him forward.

But his power will surface with the right trigger, just like Shouto showing up at the Stain fight wielding his newly liberated fire to help Deku was the real pay-off for their Sport Festival fight. (But only after Shouto digged deep inside himself and went to face his mother, face the existence he was given and the hurt it caused to his family with the actual reality.).

I think Tomura will also need a "deep dive" to compare his perception of the world to the current reality. Is society as passive and worthless as his perception of it? The heroes all fighting together, the civilians pitching in feels like there is a change compared to the passive hero society he remembers. But I think the real trigger should be / will be the LoV coming in. Because is it true that AFO made him choose them?

The LoV despite their bonds being real and deep couldn't save each other because they were all spiralling deep in their own traumas. But now Toga and Touya also had their own moments of reconnecting with their child self and having that child's original desire fulfilled (for Tenko - a hero came, for Touya - his family watched him, for Toga - someone accepted her as normal) but of course it's not a magic solution.

Because that moment would have saved the child they were, but not enough for their current selves. They will also have to make their own choices going forward. I think all of them can find the reason to face AFO now - Toga still wants to protect the things she likes, Touya maybe able to move beyond his father's reasons and look for his own, but not from a revenge perspective, Spinner is loyal, Compress I think will also come.

How, you ask? Well, Kurogiri is still black with bits of white. He still has in him the conditioning to protect Tomura, but also infused with Shirakumo's genuine care. I think just like Oboro helped the heroes to round up everyone, Kurogiri will round up Tomura's allies.

And once they are there, Tomura will rise up to them and will be the hero of the villains, joining forces with Deku and everyone to finally finish off AFO (and maybe save his friends). Because even with the little agency he had over his life, those choices were his alone, and he will be able to root his identity in that.

[mikami]

"Did Light love his family?" Anon - Catch-All Answer

Since these are six asks that are all about in the same vein, I am gonna just put the responses into one post for organization's sake.

Light begs his father to kill Mello because he wants his father's death to have been good for something. Nothing pains him more than the idea of having let this happen without it even accomplishing his goal.

Light is the physical manifestation of the lost cost fallacy: he needs to keep going because he sacrificed too much to stop and allow those sacrifices to be rendered meaningless.

And Light rationalizes. It's one of his most prominent character traits: instead of acknowledging his own emotions, he tries to filter his thoughts into nothing but emotionless pragmatism.

This is consistently portrayed through the 'hidden eyes' visual key - Light is excellent at lying to himself, in his own thoughts, which is why Obata gave us this clever way of seeing when this is happening even as Light's own internal monologue doesn't reflect it.

I have an incomplete list of these instances here, especially as pertaining to his family.

Ultimately, if we disagree that Light rationalizes his feelings rather than allowing himself to fully feel them, then none of my arguments are ever going to make sense to you and vice versa.

As a short addendum, here's Ohba's own words on this chapter (HTR13 p.80): "Even if there was acting involved in Light's tearful performance, I don't believe the tears are 100% an act." (も し月の涙に演技入っていたとしても、100%演技の涙では到底ないと思います。)

Soichiro already made the eye deal, which is an absolutely horrifying sacrifice to have made. Light wanted it to be as useful as it could possibly be, in order to justify the magnitude of the price.

I hate to say it, but you're really gonna have to take this one up with Ohba himself. On Page 65 of HTR13, he literally says that he picked Sayu as a kidnapping victim because Light loves his family and wouldn't kill her. (Unlike Misa, whom he would have just killed in this scenario rather than letting the plot progress.)

The panel you are thinking of is this one, where he is panicking, but you're not putting it into perspective.

In a previous chapter (62) Ide was about to inform the whole police force that Sayu Yagami was kidnapped. Soichiro was about to agree to this.

If Light had let this happen, he could have killed Sayu without narrowing down the suspect pool at all. They already know that Kira has ties to the police. He would have removed the leverage the mafia had held against them and gotten off entirely scott-free.

He does decidedly NOT do that. It's LIGHT personally who stops Ide from giving him the perfect alibi. EVEN RYUK CALLS OUT HOW ODD THAT WAS AS A MOVE.

And sure, Light says 'oh yeah, now nobody will suspect us!!' but nobody was really suspecting them to begin with.

This is what I mean - Light never allows himself to just feel things, he always rationalizes himself to justify his actions to himself.

His father dying. Dude.

.... literally why would he? Like, even if they don't accept Kira they also pose absolutely no threat to Kira.

I've covered all of this above, but I am including the ask to say that yes, I've seen it. The core issue here is that we disagree on Light's relationship to himself - you take his internal monologue at face value, while I think there is ample evidence that Light manipulates himself most of all. (As made completely manifest in the Yotsuba-Arc where he literally mindwipes himself into an incredibly emotionally and physically painful experience just to use himself as a pawn.)

[fragaria-imagines]

Blue Bouquet Valentine’s Day Headcanons (with their S/O)

Cielomort:

As the young prodigy leader of the Blue Bouquet, Cielomort has a lot on his plate on the week of Valentines. However, before you get disappointed, Cielomort is ever so the workaholic, and would literally move mountains if it meant getting to spend the whole day with you.

And that’s exactly what happened (though not literally), he managed to get all of his work done in time, leaving him to be fully yours for the night!

Cielomort’s plans for Valentines were simple but still romantic. As he is not the type to go to extravagant and dramatic lengths to prove his love.

His plans consisted of taking a walk around the city of the Cloud Kingdom (Blue Continent Castle), and visit all the local shops and restaurants.

While, you obviously have been around and seen the Cloud Kingdom a dozen times, it was still nice to have Cielomort act as your tour guide, explaining the historical and cultural aspects of the kingdom.

The Cloud Kingdom has became a respectable and high valued kingdom, because of Cielomort hard work these past three years, after all.

The kingdom is Cielomort’s pride and joy, and there’s no one he would rather share it with than you.

As for gifts, Cielomort would gift you books, clothes, silverware, and jewelry, all the things a high society royal would need!

Kurode:

Kurode is freaking the fuck out when Valentine’s Day comes, because he’s never done this before, he never thought you would even accept his feelings, let alone date him long enough till Valentines Day.

So yeah, he’s a little bit underprepared, but he’s willing to learn and to try to give you the best damn Valentine’s Day, you’ll ever have!

At first, he tries to go about it by the book, gifting you the typical chocolate, flowers, and teddy bear, and going on very typical romantic Valentine’s date, like going to dinner at a fancy restaurant, breakfast-in-bed, going biking around the town.

Unfortunately, most -if not all— of his plans went haywire and did not go according to plan, at all. First, on the list, was breakfast in bed, all he had to do was wake up on time and make breakfast, what could go wrong?

….He ended up not waking up on time, and by the time he woke up, you were already up, and made breakfast for the two of you.

Alright, so he slept in late, big deal! The breakfast that you made was delicious, and was probably better than anything he could ever make, if he was being honest. However, he still had the rest of the day to make it up to you!

The next thing on his list was to go to a fancy restaurant, which shouldn’t be a problem because he made the reservation beforehand.

However, when it was finally time to go to the dinner date, he realized that he completely forgot to rent a suit, leaving him to go to the restaurant with nothing but his hoodie and ripped jeans, whilst everybody else around him was dressed in suits and dresses, talk about embarrassing….

At this point, Kurode just have had it with his terrible luck, but it was almost the end of the day, and the only thing on his list was to go bike riding. Should be easy enough because, a) he knows how to ride a bike, and b) he knows that he has a bike, so even if everything else was a total bust, at least he knows that he got this one in the bag!

……

……

It started raining just as you two were about to leave to go bike riding.

You two spent the rest of the day indoors, watching movies, and whilst Kurode considered the day to be a total disaster, you were feeling quite the opposite! After all, you got to spend the day with the person you love the most, what could be better than that?

With your encouraging words and declaration of love in mind, Kurode realized that maybe spending the day indoors, cuddling together and watching bad movies, was the better way to spend Valentine’s Day, after all.

Willmesh:

If you thought Kurode was freaking the fuck out, just wait till you get a load of this guy!

Willmesh is internally and externally freaking out, he doesn’t know what to do, what to say, where to go, what to buy, what to wear, he is just confused in all aspects of this holiday.

Should he buy you flowers? But what kind of flowers? Maybe he should ask you on what kind of flowers you like? But no! Then that would defeat the purpose of the surprise! But if he doesn’t know what to give you, then how he would he surprise you? And if he doesn’t surprise you, then he is single-handedly ruining Valentine’s for you, and he doesn’t want to ruin Valentine’s Day! Who the hell wants to ruin Valentine’s Day!? Not him!

All of this worrying over Valentine’s Day, and what to give you and where to take you, made him feel ill and sick on the day of Valentine’s Day.

And he feels terrible that he ended up ruining Valentine’s Day, and making you look after him on this special day!

But you were quick to silence his negative thoughts, telling him that Valentine’s Day or not, you were just happy to be in his presence, nor did you feel like he ruined Valentine’s Day or that he was burden to you.

He ended up crying due to your kind words, and for the rest of the day, he let himself be pampered by you, as you nurse him back to health!

Klarkstella:

He hates Valentines Day.

He thinks it’s a stupid shallow holiday that prioritizes consumerism and money over the actual meaning of Valentines. Also, why is there a specific holiday to celebrate your love, shouldn’t couples be celebrating their love all year around, instead of being restricted to celebrate it one day of the year?

However, once he met you and got into a relationship, he quickly changed his tune! Don’t get him wrong, he’s still not a big fan of the holiday and still thinks it’s dumb, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to celebrate it with you!

He gifted you a cute tiny android/robot, that he spent a good two months making and creating, and the smile on your face when you saw it, was worth every sleepless night he went through to make it.

As for the date, Klarkstella took you stargazing to see the stars, and explained the meaning of every single constellation that was in the sky.

By the end of the day, when it was time to head back, you remember having the best sleep of your night, and that was due to Klarkstella using his astrological powers to give you a good night sleep!

Louterstella:

Unlike his brother, Louterstella is more than overjoyed when it comes to Valentines Day!

He’s a bit of a secret romantic and loves love and everything that comes with it, so of course when the day rolls around, he’s more than prepared.

Louterstella ideal date for Valentine’s is to go to a planetarium with you! He loves you, and he loves the stars and the planets, so what better way to combine the best of both worlds than to go to a planetarium!

At the end of your planetarium date, he will take you to another date, this time a library date! You two will spend the rest of the day, browsing through books and huddling together in a corner, reading together.

It may seem boring to most people but you and Louterstella are comfortable enough in each other’s relationship, where you two don’t have to go on extreme and extravagant dates to express your love for each other.

Sometimes, love is about sitting together in a quiet library, reading off the same book, and not saying a word to each other, and that’s enough for the both of you.

While, Louterstella might not be the most skilled when it comes to machines, the same can’t be said when it comes to crocheting!

Louterstella loves making sweaters and clothes for his loved ones (in fact the reason why his and Klarkstella outfits are so similar, is because he hand sewed them), and you are no different. He gifted you a bunch of homemade clothes and sweaters, all of which you have worn ever since!

Myunna:

Myunna, the sweet summer child, just wants to make you happy, and what better way to make you happy than Valentine’s Day!

With the help of Cielomort and Cogimyun, Myunna constructed a day full of fun and whimsy that both of you could enjoy.

The two of you spend the entirety of Valentine’s Day, going to the amusement park and going on fun rides together.

He collected the polaroid photos that you two took together in the photo booth, and added it to his scrap book, which has photos of you, Cogimyun, and all the other members of the Blue Bouquet!

Cielomort helped Myunna bake a cake for you, to which he happily gifted it you, and you of course, happily accepted it, and ate the cake with him.

[locke-esque-monster]

For all that "Criss Angel is a Douche Bag" is not the best episode of Supernatural, it is an interesting one. The bleak moral implications of the ending aside, the juxtaposition between Sam's and Dean's views is so worth digging into.

Because first you have Sam, who now that he's embraced he's a hunter now, doesn't necessarily want to do this forever. And he's got sort of a idealized version of it, that if he can get the worst of the evil taken out (Lilith) maybe he could go back to a more normal life. It's so John-coded. That they both only enter the life because of a tragedy and revenge, when they were perfectly happy living a regular life prior to that. And once their version of the mission is over, they have this dream they could just settle down and be normal. They're either intensely in the life (no friends, no settling anywhere too long like how John passed onto Sam and Sam onto Goul!Adam in 4x19), or intensely not in the life (Stanford!Sam) and there's literally no middle ground. No flexibility. For all that Sam has shades of gray when it comes to people/monsters, it shows how much he's like John with how how he structures his hunting life. And to a degree, how sheltered he is to think in way compared to Dean.

Because Dean isn't so idealized to think that hunting is something you can stop. He's watched revenge tear John and Sam apart. And while he wants revenge, he internalized that if there's evil to fight and people he could save, then they should be out there, more than John or Sam did. (Maybe because of the hurt he experienced as losing Mary and losing OG John, and he never wants anyone else to go through that.) That it's a fairy tale to think that taking out the big bad means that hunting is over. It's unclear if Sam thinks that taking Lilith down will be such a big blow that hunting won't be as necessary (because they'll be few enough monsters per remaining hunters that they could hunt little to not at all). Or if his personal responsibility to hunting will be over, and other hunters are out there to save people, but that's no longer his problem. But Dean is not so naïve to think that he could fully settle down knowing there's people dying that he could save. Or that he is he stays in the life he's not going to be hands on and reckless (or at least with low enough value of his own life over others) that it won't eventually get him killed (again). It's such disconnect between Sam's optimism and Dean's pessimism towards hunting. And it's interesting in the context of how the rest of the series goes with that mindset in mind, even chipping away at it slightly at times. That Dean tries to settle with a woman that knows about hunting so he can keep her safe openly. While Sam does settle down again with Amelia and treats hunting as an old part of his life he'll never address again, like Jess all over again, but goes back when Dean returns without a tragic revenge story. That Dean is willing to settle down in the bunker, because if you're going to hunt you take the joys in life where you can, nice kitchen, having a room full of creature comforts (also not surprising when Dean had to take his joys where he could get them when he never had the childhood Sam had). And Sam does settle in the bunker, but because his dial is stuck on either a hunting/not hunting setting, he never decorates his room, like he can't quite settle in and accept this is home and permanent.

Now a good ending to SPN would have fully contradicted Dean's statement in this episode about expecting to die young because there's no happy future growing old. And contradicted Sam's dread at ending up old and alone like Jay if he stayed in the life (because you can't tell me blurry wife and Dean jr is all the companionship Sam needs). But that's a whole different "tripping at the finish line" kind of conversation about the finale.

[pinkbeanii]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

This is so fucking niche, but today was my first day using my cane in public! So here's some thoughts of Jongseob being the most supportive bf and an absolute mobility aid advocate.

Warnings: talk of chronic pain, mentioned ableism, run on sentences (sorry)

It was not a surprise to him when you were recommended a cane.

After a long time of helping you with flare ups and trying to understand your mental and physical pains, Jongseob was well versed in your world of disability.

So he was so undeniably in support of a mobility aid. Though he knew it was going to be an adjustment for the both of you, Seobie was more than prepared.

I imagine he'd research about all types of mobility aids, and since it would be a cane that you'd be using he focused on that.

Seobie is passionate about anything he cares about, and that mindset extends to you and your well-being & health.

He'd have already done his research on your condition or symptoms, and you have already coached him through a lot of situations so he knows his shit!

But mobility aids are a different beast, so Jongseob dived head first into learning about canes: how to use them, care and maintenance, different types of handles & --, and he even read stories & messages from cane users on the internet.

Of course, it wasn't easy for you to admit to yourself that a cane would be helpful, internalized ableism is a bitch that way. But Seobie would be the best bf, making sure you knew he's proud of you for taking care of yourself and reassuring you that a cane wasn't going to change your relationship & how he saw you.

Jongseob never coddled you, never treated you with anything but respect. Your disability & pain were part of you that he accepted fully, and he knew his place was not as a caretaker but a partner for you. It was never just him taking care of you, it was a balance of leaning on each other as needed.

After browsing options together (Jongseob had opinions on styles and even ideas on how you could decorate it to feel more like you) it came time to learn how to use it

I personally practiced at home before using it outside, so I can picture you both in the living room learning together about what the most comfortable way to walk and stand with your new mobility aid was. Seobie would be like a personal cheerleader, making sure you knew how good you were doing and having you take breaks as you went.

Y'all would also have a little date where you work on decorating the cane, adding stickers or rhinestones, making a beaded wristband and adding charms. He would be so attentive to how you felt about it, understanding if you don't want it to stand out. Jongseob just wants to make it feel like you.

The first time you use it out in the world Jongseob is doing his damn hardest to make it an easy adjustment for you. He holds all your stuff, opens doors and avoids any obstacles, and most importantly he's holding your free hand and reminding you he's right there by your side.

While you try and avoid any weird looks from judgemental assholes, it's hard to ignore it sometimes. Seobie is great at distracting you and often glares right back at anyone who stares for too long. Looking was fine, you both understood that it's not the most common thing, but unrestrained gawking was unacceptable in his book.

More boyfriend points are scored when he reminds you that you're allowed to use the disabled toilets and accessible seating and amenities. He's the biggest advocate for not only you, but anyone else he sees dealing with casual ableism.

Something you learn from being around any disabled person (mental, developmental or physical disabilities) is that people are often unintentionally bigoted in how they treat us. Of course it's more obvious when it's intentional, but casual words or actions that aren't meant to harm are harder to spot at first.

Jongseob is well versed in picking up those clues and is the best person to address it. Of course if you want to directly call someone out he's happy to just support and be backup. But if you aren't confrontational he's handling it immediately in a respectful but direct way.

If anyone directly questions your cane or if you are just doing it for attention Jongseob is your biggest protector. If you want to answer questions he's all for it, Seobie won't stand for invasive people who feel entitled to others' medical information.

In conclusion, Jongseob is the most supportive partner and his goal when it comes to you is to give you anything and anything he can, to the best of his abilities. And that extends to disability and mobility aids. He'd be proud of his partner for persevering and letting themselves get the help they need.

A/N: to any other mobility aid users, hi I'm new here, but I'm excited to have more support and do more since I have it. I thought this would be cute bc it's been bouncing around in my head since I got my cane.