#but it sounds a bit ridiculous to me
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You ever think people go too far when analyzing aspects of a story
Like, I’m not sure how much dolphin sonograms relate to the aspects of Buddy Bolden’s life and music. He’s (sorry, my World Literature teacher) been talking about a squawk (at least I think that’s what he said, sometimes his accent is hard to understand) representing some sort of singularity that Bolden’s music is
Like my dude, you think you might be reaching a bit?
#like yeah there’s probably a reason the author put that there#but I really don’t think it’s that deep I can say from experience#of course I can’t talk like I’m much better trying to squeeze lore out of literally any scrap of info#but I’m not trying to find themes and deeper narrative meanings in every piece of the story#I get this is his job#but it sounds a bit ridiculous to me#I don’t think authors really put all this amount of thought into their work#like yes they put thought into their work and deeper meanings#but come on man#it sounds like the blue curtains meme#I forgot this was in my drafts#literature#literature analysis#we’re talking about Coming Through Slaughter#random stuff#real life stuff
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After doing some research on the types of pets people had in ancient Greece, I'd like to imagine that Helen is the sort of person who has a whole menagerie of birds — and she loves each and every one of them very, very much.
It fits well with her being good at mimicry, you know. Talking and imitating and singing with her beloved birds 💜
Close up under the read more:
I had to include that one necklace from the minoan 'saffron goddess' fresco because it's my favourite thing Ever
#helen of sparta#greek mythology#greek myth art#tagamemnon#birds#this started as a helen with birds drawing. then turned into a chance to put helen in mycenaean accurate clothing.#and THEN turned into a sort of hades game art study/sprite because playing with half lineart + half rendering is just too much fun#speaking of fun: I really enjoyed making this!! Once I got a bit experimentative it really came together. I'm happy with the outcome! ^w^#choosing what birds and how many was a challenge... in my mind Helen has dozens of birds and all sorts of species. truly a crazy bird lady.#but I decided to focus on a few for this. maybe another time i'll make a piece with a ridiculous amount of birds for fun >:) hehe#I cant remember the source but I know I read somewhere that people would specifically train magpies to say hello/greet guests#and I love that little factoid (and love magpies very much) so that was an immediate choice for me to feature here.#I also love doves and goldfinches. goldfinches sound so delightful and stand out so they were my 'songbird' choice.#and I'd like to imagine that one specific dove snuggles up on helen's shoulder all the time <3#the only bird that's truly missing here is an indian ringneck parrot (which I initially wanted to put on the shoulder but changed my mind)#so if you're like me and watch too many parrot videos. just know helen has one of them that can't stop talking and posing lmao#capri_art
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#fellas. i am not doing well </3#literally ever since IASW closed and CB went into hibernation my brain has not been working right#which i know sounds ridiculous but. 😔#anyway hoping to see him on Friday and i hope it heals me a bit#i miss him so bad and i am NOT going to survive the even longer refurb in the spring#but i know he will be happy to be back and i hope he's excited to see me again .. 🥹
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With all due respect the election system the us follows is SHIT, because what do you MEAN they count just how many states are either blue or red and what do you MEAN there are only like, 2 parties to vote
#us elections#destiel#im not gonna lie i dont know much about the election system#bit everything ive learn about it just sounds ridiculous#us people do not come for me please
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sorry about that last rambling post, i didnt mean to sound like its worse than it may be, but i got no ... lense to view it through but my own, and the main reason i wrote it out anyway was bc i needed to get it out (even if posting it might be not the greatest idea) .. and bc it kinda showcases, i think, how my stories kinda write themselves, involuntarily in a way? its not like im not putting in any effort- but its like .. i cant STOP it always keeps going and even the dumbest idea stays in some form, its very hard to get everything in place bc theres so much going on all the while i am very slow at making anything, writing or drawing anything, especially anythign coherent is very hard bc not only do i get constantly distracted, i get distracted by my own thoughts suddendly skipping to a certain scene and me having to go throguh imagining in detail NO MATTER how many times i have done it before for the same scene that i already decided on how it goes, when theres a new idea it can take over my entire day bc i cant let go of it-
not trying to sound either like im the only that has that sort of problem, but i think its a big part as of why i start tso many projects without being able to finish them, or even start them bc i constantly have to fight my own thoughts from derailing into another daydream session, thinking of too much too fast than i can ever draw or even write about and not knowing what is worthwhile and what isnt (im telling you i have no idea what is good and what isnt, idk why but for all i know all things i do could be trash, or they all could be bad, maybe the one i thinnk is decent is actually worse than the things i deem not good enough and once i start to think no this isnt good enough i stop having fun making or thinking it bc im trying to do better
honestly its kind of impressive that i can get anything out at all, not to pat myself on the back there but even if i hate how long it takes me, considering how much im having to work just to start working on something at all, the fact that i could post stuff coherent enough for some people to understand AND LIKE is something i should be a little more proud of
#ganondoodles talks#personal#sorry today is a bit of a brain fart day#got a headache and have wasted the entire time until now (5pm) with watching old analysis videos i have watched 5 times already#and crying over undertales music#how much could i get done if i didnt have to deal with thought trains going 200 above speed limit#also didnt mean to sound mean to people who like the things i deem cringy#BC I DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKIGN ABOUT 90% OF THE TIME#I DONT KNOW IF ITS GOOD maybe it is#my judgement of my own stuff is pretty random#.... maybe thats why i can work with fanstuff that adheres to lore better#bc it sets limits for me#it gives me options of rails to derail onto without falling straight into the woods#idk if that made sense either#... i need to start drinking more#(and i guess by calling some of my stuff cringe bc i am entirely unsure of its quality im trying to make myself smaller than i am)#(so if it turns out to be actually bad- im more safe from ridicule since LOOK I AM SELF AWARE)#and there i go letting my thoughts spin further#maybe ill delete both of these posts tomorrow when i realize how dumb this is to say in the first place
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He can't be tied down ... just yet
#beetlejuice#beetlejuice musical#beetlejuice the musical#betelgeuse#musicaljuice#my creepy old guy#I've missed drawing him so bad#as my friend says I've been a 'poor deprived thing'#this same friend also likes seeing 'him tied up and yanked around'#which ya know#I cannot disagree#hence me making this drawing tonight#it's like the eye in the middle of the hurricane that is my life right now#genuinely I'm so stressed!#like so much so I've hardly had time to think about him - which sounds ridiculous I know#but tonight! I draw him and put everything in the back of my mind#I'm so tied up (hah!) with work and life and school stuff right now so I don't know how much I can draw for a bit#apparently it had been 10 days since my last drawing#which wow time#my art
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I give my grad speech in a week, have been writing a million versions of what I want to say in my head all year, talked to my mom last night, boy did she separate the wheat from the chaff.
#teaching tag#allskskskksksjsjs my mom one of the only people in the world who knows me and appreciates me but is not under the influence of my charm#even a little bit#skksksksksjsj actually my whole family is like this. which is a GIFT. and also something that can be so hard for me skskkdjdjdjdjdjjd#truly my most ruthless critics#but I wanted to cut things down in my own mind to the truest and most bare essentials#and that’s why I asked my mom! because I wanna get the core straightened out#will it end up being slightly more joke-y and vulnerable than she would like? yeah. but I am not my mom and cannot live as if I were#anyway have I thought too much about this speech? 100%. and wildly overestimated its actual importance#which is pretty small. so I have a week to wrangle myself back in line#idk i know it’s a good thing—the wave of excitement I can create#and I’ve had many people tell me they’re so looking forward to it etc.#but with it also comes a lot of pressure. a lot of pressure to be funny and to be charming#my own instinctive desire to fly too close to the sun and to take everybody on a ridiculous journey#but I want to go back to the core. especially in my teaching#it feels extremely important to me#anyway. what I need to do is let this go. and pray. and stop having a huge ego etc.#but it’s very hard because I am a self-obsessed narcissist who LOVES the sound of her own voice#I am also exhausted and have a lot of teaching/grading to do in the next week#sorry just processing thank you for listening
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Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
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omg??? that’s so odd about the tag game???? what i think happened was that i did originally tag you when it was in my drafts, but then i changed my mind before posting bc i figured most of the questions are probably things i’ve already asked you lol,, and yet it decided to tag you anyway???? hellsite <3
wait thats actually hilarious. i kinda thought you might have tagged me and then edited it after posting, but i feel like the notification feed usually updates changes like that??? especially if you refresh (which i did multiple times because i was #confused) but. you edited it BEFORE posting and it still notified me. wow
#my other theory was that it was somehow displaying a different set of users for me than who you actually tagged#in which case me saying 'im not tagged???' would have sounded a bit ridiculous. so im glad it wasnt that lmfao#also makes you wonder how broken the tag notifications actually are...... hellsite.#biggie answers
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it's kind of funny how i'll sit down to get some work done and immediate physical exhaustion wipes me the fuck out and renders me unable to do anything. and i'm supposed to start working full-time with this body soon
#personal#i've decided to just let my contract run out so that gives me until august to get my shit together#because like. why would i quit my job any time before that to then maybe spend several months unemployed. what's the point of that#plus in august is when everyone is starting to look for new people so i can start applying for jobs then and get something new#for september. so i don't have to be unemployed between jobs. this makes sense right. Right#like i'm going back to school for a little bit in november to get a certificate and all. why would i go looking for something else now#and why would i go looking for something else directly after. why would i do any of that#i'd like to get my end of the year bonus first please. and then i'd like some more financial stability for a few months please#i already planned my vacations for next year. if i can just make it to august with this job and then i can get something else after#like this doesn't sound ridiculous right. this sounds like a reasonable thing to do right#especially with the current state of the gaming industry just in general but also in my country#i want to see where it all goes first HWKSGJHFDKGFDG
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Frontiers of Pandora 🌴🌱🌿🏹✨
#frontiers of pandora#photomode#ps5#avatar#na’vi#sarentu#the scenery is ridiculously beautiful#and the forest sounds are amazing too#so immersive#the story is a bit generic#but the exploration is totally worth it#I suck at the combat though#the RDA always spot me
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I wish there was a way to communicate how overstimulated kids make me and how much I really wish I could reliably be in public spaces without hearing large families/children being insanely loud without sounding like one of those freaks that thinks children should be banned from public spaces
#like kids are loud kids are noisy kids need to learn to socialize#this is all fine and logically I understand this#however…… genuinely nothing sends me into overstimulation to the point of a meltdown faster than children#(it sounds so terrible and stupidly edgy but I’m also starting to think kids are some sort of trigger for me due to my upbringing esp kids#crying because… haha reasons we won’t get into)#and like I said I am WELL aware this is all a ME problem and is in no way the fault of the children or their parents#(well sometimes the parents)#(I do think some parents need to be better about comforting screaming/crying kids and teaching kids they can’t run around and scream#whenever and wherever they want)#but like. I wish I could communicate that I genuinely do hate being around children without sounding like I have overlap with the people who#are freaks about it and think kids are uniquely terrible and that it’s all the kids fault for… yk being kids#there’s not a solution here but I wish I could at least complain without having to add fifteen caveats about how I think children are ppl#and deserve respect and caring and it’s ridiculous to act like they shouldn’t be allowed in public spaces#because they are sometimes loud and annoying#but UNFORTINATELY there’s a very large annoying and loud group of adults who have INSANE opinions about children#so ugh#anyways I’m overstimulated so I went to go hide in the bathroom for a bit#but there’s a family in here with four kids and they’re all being SO loud and shrieking and laughing#and it’s making me want to bang my head into a wall#kaz rambles
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The time for regrets has long passed (Patreon)
#Doodles#Law Abiding Citizen#LAC#Doug Peterson#LAC Russ#Roug#Mixed set! Auxiliary thoughts! Always haha#My size difference between these two is always ridiculous lol ♪ Sometimes they're close to the same size sometimes Doug is tiny and then#If it's fun why shouldn't they get a bit of size difference! Lol#Snuggling into a very large Doug's hug sounds nice he deserves it#Couple'a Demon!Russes except I forgot what his horns looked like lol#Let's just say they're still growing in by that point ♪ Don't mind that they disappear completely at Doug kissing him - they're growing in!#I do love a mopey Demon!Russ after having been human for a long while haha <3 Poor lad#But he gets to live with Doug now! So that's nice#Doug is certainly happy about it :)#Tiny little bit more of the Solitary idea - the Regret™ sets in as soon as Doug is gone haha#Immediately starts second-guessing himself and then he comes back and he's like ''No this was a good decision'' and then he leaves again#Repeat infinitum lol#Demon!Russ but from the beginning! Didn't give him a human!Doug tho aw poor lonely guy#That AU is fun there are elements to it that still intrigue me hmm ♪ Maybe at some point - the next go around perhaps haha#And dress Russ :D He deserves a dress! He needs one!#The original design was quite silly haha#All the more reason to give him some more! Fill out his closet with lovely clothes
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#i just want this whole thing to be over#i know its mean to push him away like this#but the way our relationship was going. i was just so uncomfortable with the whole thing#i feel so awful because i know im the only person he really has to talk to#but i cant be that for him#its too much#it isnt fair to either of us if things stay they way they were#i still want to be friends but. not in the way he wants. i really cant be that close with someone ive only known a few months#it just doesnt work that way for me#i feel so awful for doing this but theres nothing i can do that would make anything any vetter#i really cant describe how uncomfortable the whole situation made me feel.#it sounds horrible and a bit ridiculous but being that close with him made me feel so shitty.#i hate this it really sucks.#vent#sorry ive been posting so much about this its just. a whole thing right now.#ill delete this later but right now im gonna go watch a movie and probably cry
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My p3r preorder has arrived and yet I cannot play it bc all my younger siblings are home and are using the tv….💔 I’m seriously gonna have to wait until nighttime to play it for the next SEVERAL days 😞
#starts crying and sobbing#ughhhhrrfhhhjjsjsjshhahhhhhhhhh#sighs heavily and buries head in hands#and even if nobody was using the tv my siblings are so ridiculously loud I wouldn’t even be able to focus 😞#rip my sleep schedule like genuinely 😭#p3r#persona 3#I could probably play it w everyone awake if I really wanted to but I need to be LASER FOCUSED#I’m being very picky basically#bc I need complete silence so I can fully immerse myself#LMFAOOO I SOUND SO SILLYY#erm I need complete silence 🤓☝️#LMAOOO#Listen I cannot afford to miss a single cutscene nor a single beat of music#HAHAHAH#I laugh but I’m dead serious#catch me up at 2am playing p3r 🤷♂️#I love my aigis figure btw yayy#I feel so excited that I am actually a bit ill…I may throw up…#nah bc maybe my therapist had a point when she said I should meet twice a week instead of once good god#IM KIDDINGGGG
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#(( ooc. ))#negativity tw#venting tw#welp apparently im annoying. unattractive. and ranked second priority to a video game.#got all dressed up. looked cute. looked damn sexy.#husband barely gave me a second glance and just an irritated side eye like 'um im trying to game'#was feeling good about my body until that.... so that's fun.#thats a sucky feeling mood drop#so just gonna lurk for a bit#like. am i really that unappealing? that im not even worth a second glance when im all dressed up?#great. thats. thats so great for the body image issues#eating disorder tw#disordered eating tw#and ridiculous as it sounds thats enough to rev up the little voice in the back of my head#telling me i need to starve myself again bc clearly THATS the underlying reason he cant be bothered to look at me
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