#but it makes me kind of.... upset
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aaaa
#takahashit rants#one of my irls keep teasing me that my f/o belongs to them#and i know it's a joke#n they don't rlly know i self-ship w them#but it makes me kind of.... upset#idk if it's even valid that i feel this way tho cuz like#ehhhhh ??!?!?!#YOU KNOW???#IT MAKES ME UPSET#i know they're doing this just to annoy me but ;;;;;;#i hate feeling this way#they don't even know anything about my f/o...#they're js doing it to annoy me !! :(
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Because I have just seen this specific thing for the second time, I would like to say:
If I reblog your art, I do not expect you to reblog (or share!) my fic in return
If I comment on your fic, I do not expect you to comment on (or read!) mine in return
My enjoyment of anyone's work does not come with strings or expectations
My friendship is not a bill that you will have to pay later
That's it!
#the fucking obsession with fandom becoming ~content creation~ has got to stop. this is not a business.#i don't like it when someone acts like i owe them because they complimented my work#and i will never do that to someone else#kindness has to be freely given or it isn't kindness; it's manipulation#this just. makes me feel super gross and it upsets me that it's happened twice#and that both people explicitly stated in their profiles that this is an expectation they have of fandom#you can't form a community by force. that's not how it works.#anyways. rant over. i just want it to be known that i'm not expecting anything from anyone lol#if i talk to you or hang out it's because i want to. i don't want anything from you except you know#kindness and companionship or w/e#bleargh. gonna go play a game or something.#dixeram
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Hello Madam. Sorry Madam.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#madam jin#jin zixuan#jiang yanli#'Hey what is WWX trying to do here?' some kind of grab-and-twist maneuver that would be very upsetting to watch.#I know LWJ technically assists WWX in this scene in terms of blocking someone's blow on his behalf -#- but let's be honest. Real friends stop you from doing the truly stupid things.#Or maybe it was envy. Penis envy. The non-freudian kind.#Regardless...man this whole scene was just full of “and then someone else walks in”.#I swear to god every cultivator who is supposed to be hunting ends up wandering into this part of the woods.#a bonus for me because it gives me several good joke opportunities.#Madam Jin gets top prize for best entrance and exit. I wish her all the best. And a divorce…madam please leave him…#And can we please address the horses? I love horses. But why...why do they ride in on horses when they HAVE FLYING SWORDS?#I can only imagine it is for the dramatic flair? It just feels so jarring hearing someone clip clop in#and then another person swoop in on a sword.#The rules of mdzs's world can get fuzzy and I have to nod in an impressed manner at how much MXTX gets away not explaining.#Maybe the sword gets tired after a while and they need to give it a break? Maybe there is a sword union that dictates working hour limits?#…Would that make Chenqing a scab? Oh god it would… unions *hate* this flute!
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the thing that i love so much about my relationship is that i feel absolutely zero pressure for us to be in eachother's pockets constantly. not just in the way that we like to have our own space sometimes but that i don't feel guilty for getting fixated on a project and not texting him or leaving him on read for a few hours. we have a system where i just say "i'm so sorry, i fell down the Art Hole again" and he says "that's ok, was the art hole fun, can i see what you did in there?". or if i have a feeling i'm going to draw until late at night i'll be like "pre warning, i might be in the art hole this evening" and when i'm done he's texted me goodnight anyway.
tldr: find someone who doesn't get mad at you for crawling into a hole and instead helps you out of the hole and asks what you saw down there
#ramble#G i know you don't tumblr but if you ever see this i adore you#context: one of my exes got upset when i started my webcomic because it meant i would be giving her slightly less attention#and another one asked me to stop sending her my art entirely and that kind of thing doesn't leave you y'know#i'm very glad i'm with someone that doesn't make me feel like we need to be texting 12 hours a day to reassure myself that he still loves m#because i already know he does :')))
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maffhew who refuses to say runebergin torttu because he knows hes gonna butcher it so bad he might be kicked out of the country the second he tries and staunchly avoids that by going "the one dessert that barky is going to have to explain 😃"
sasha who gets faced with the most generic description of everything hes ever eaten in his life so far because of maffhew and going "???... oh you mean runebergin torttu!"
"he did good he liked the food and he likes the finland so far so its good" sasha says with so much pride now that all the anxiety has left his system that his husband teammate is enjoying his country and doesnt hate it
media availability | 10.29.24 (x)(x)
the smile of a man who knowlingly doomed his husband and said husband using all his brain power to context clues his way to whatever the fuck he just got asked that his brain is running hotter than a mid 2012 macbook air thats somehow still alive in the year of the lord 2024 but girl does she chug along shes louder than a fighter jet
#matthew tkachuk#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#2425#the famous vanha kauppahalli date™#we know how bad he is at pronouncing words not in english he does not want to fuck up his husbands language in front of him#(the nhl stars try to speak german video has entered the chat)#different attitudes here lmao#“he did good” mate he was... eating food... what... what is there to praise here..?#i shivered sweet mary and joseph sasha this is how you praise maffhew? yeah id be an annoying little shit about it too#whatever they have. unexplainable. i wont even bother#im glad to see pie and cake are still very confusing for esol#somehow ive had the conversation with several different people in my lifetime and realised even i dont know what the fuck it is#in the sense that when i translate pastries into english for my american friends i just pause and go#wait... i think this is a pie... but its called a tart in spanish but its also kind of a cake? and- [windows reboot sound]#ive had to do this with pastafrola and im like please just eat it dont make me explain im gonna cry if i do#I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS IN AN ENGLISH CONTEXT BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST IN AN ENGLISH CONTEXT TO ME JUST EAT IT#“so whats the difference between a torta and a tarta and isnt a tarta kinda like a pie-” “stop asking questions you dont want answers to”#you have no idea how upset i get trying to explain#im glad sasha at least protrays a little of that frustration by going “i dont know english word” girl SAME
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this isn’t meant to be symbolic or anything i just wanted to draw this greasy motherfucker
#i associate with dang the most. he’s so deeply relatable to me#but g13 is just so funny to me. greaseball hacker. sort of terrifying. lanky and spindly. an upset young man#hopefully my take at his design isn’t too weird because i kind of just like making characters my own#art#fanart#digital art#never stop blowing up#dimension 20#g13#g13 nsbu
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thinking about sqq using the leaves to end the fight between binghe and ming fan, even though he loses b-points in the process, and how this establishes a pattern of his: even when he's concerned with his own safety, he sacrifices it to protect binghe
#svsss#im really sleepy on a melatonin idk if im making sense#but one of the things that really struck me when i had just started reading#was how upset he was watching binghe get bullied#and how outraged he was that the system wouldnt let him intervene in a situation of child abuse#sqq's kindness was shining through even then.... i love him
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i have a problem
really long rambling in tags
#ive always liked him but i was in denial about it until i read the myspace stuff#it was then i realized i wasnt a fool for liking the stereotypical character#because he was rather prominent back in the day#he was one of the only when pizzas attack debutants important enough to be named. he had a myspace account.#in the development of pizzeria he was almost going to have something that people assume was similar to the blue ribbons#but as the focused shifted to gamerias his entire thing kind of became The Food Guy#to the point where theres a joke on the official blog posts about cupcakeria and donuteria of him wanting to order 4 cupcakes and 6 donuts#which is double the maximum amount#i don't really hate that hes The Food Guy (because i relate)#but some people are really mean spirited about it.#and i always used to think#there was no way to justify how upset that made me#because that was just how he is in the games. it was “true”#but like... some people think that's all he is and its not true at all#even if the gamerias make it seem like it is#god if i had a nickel for every time i liked a stereotypical character who had interesting details about them that no one knew about#bc most of the fandom refused to see them as anything but that stereotype#id have two nickels#i would like it to stay at that amount. anyways. id like to tag this properly now#papa louie#flipline studios#flipline big pauly#bluebay art
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Does Cloud ever confront Zack about all the neglect he subjected himself to in favor of taking care of Cloud?
I think It'd be one of his first thoughts when he's awake again!
initially I think he'd just think Zack was being a bit silly, and that he'd focus more on himself now that Cloud wasn't completely reliant on him. After a few weeks(?) he'd realize how much Zack prioritizes Cloud over himself, and he'd try to be more forceful with it
....but neither of them are very good with their words, so it gets worse before it gets better.
#cloud: When I see you struggling it's upsetting so I want you to take care of yourself better#Zack: When I show I'm struggling it makes people sad so I should try and show it less#zakkura#clack#cloud strife fanart#zack fair fanart#zack fair ffvii#cloud strife ffvii#zack lives au#my art#FOR SOME REASON i feel kind of shy about this comic JDHGFHDJ pray for me not deleting it in two hours
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"Who'd you fall for this time? I'll help out."
“────This is why I fell in love with you.”
#aceyuu#twisted wonderland#ace trappola#ace trappola x yuu#twst#disney twst#twst ace#nyuudle#oc x canon#twst oc#twst yuu#my art#2022#pupheart#screencap drawing lol... i love redrawing stuff with aceyuu its addicting :/#but this was in 2022! super old! just uploading all my twst stuff HAHAHAHA#but this song is SOOOOOOOOOOO aceyuu dont even play with me#ace with my yuu is kind of like. insecure. yuu is so nice and so caring and hes just. normal.#he's not self deprecating until he has feelings for yuu THEN he gets upset about his stupid feelings interfering with his confidence#never really expects yuu to reciprocate back and even if it makes him a coward he doesnt really tell yuu cuz hes a complicated teenager
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The Lucanis vs Illario story would have had greater emotional depth/intrigue if the writers didn't water down how fucked up the Crows are as an organization.
Just some thoughts about how, out of all the side villains, Illario had some great potential to be a really interesting/tragic character in my opinion.
TL;DR: Zevran Aranai has a knife with Caterina's name on it for good reason and Lucanis/Illario need therapy...or whatever the Thedas equivalent is called...talking to Rook, I dunno
Going into DATV as a new player, or even as a returning one, the whitewashing of the Crows has a lot of the potential complexities of that life simply ignored or barely touched upon. The entire 'Illario vs Lucanis' boils down to: Illario seething in the shadows about Lucanis being the 'best boy'™ of the family while Illario is an after thought - which he is.
Let's be real, Illario is not subtle and immediately comes across as the Scar to Lucanis' 'Mufasa'. It's a questline with a very straightforward villain who has pretty lackluster motivations from what info we're provided - being 'I want power and to be the First Talon'. The game does very little explore what motivations he may have beyond being jealous of Lucanis/wanting more power.
However, if you play the quest line knowing what previous games have set up about the Crows - about how cutthroat and brutal the life is behind the glamour - then you can see that the entire Lucanis vs Illario conflict has amazing potential to be a dramatic tragedy.
We've seen how the life of Crow can affect Zevran - someone who was sold into the life through child-slavery. How interesting would it be to see how the life of a Crow can affect someone who was born into it? It's pretty clear in-game that Caterina intends for her grandchildren to carry on the family tradition - despite the fact that this 'family tradition' has likely led to the deaths of most of her grandchildren and however many children she had.
If there's banter about how Illario's/Lucanis' parents/cousins died specifically I haven't heard it, but the impression I got in-game was that it was likely linked to the Crows/politics in some way? Feel free to correct me! Still majorly fucked up that she pushes her grandsons into this life regardless!
Lucanis/Illario's situation was not like Zevran's - who was sold into the Crow's through slavery, with no one to speak up for him. Caterina was a woman who had power, who knew what the life of a Crow meant, and who still pushed those she 'loved' into it because is consolidated her place in the system. For all the Crows talk of 'family' Caterina doesn't seem to give a shit about them unless if they're contributing to the family business in some way - not to mention the whole 'you fail and we kill you' clause of being a Crow in the first place.
In the 'Wigmaker Job' from Tevinter Nights Lucanis talks about how Caterina hit him [also Illario] with her cane for mistakes and had him spend days without food/water. How he used to hate her but now 'realizes' that it was her way of ensuring he survived the life of being an Antivan Crow. Did it end up protecting them? It likely pushed them both to refine their skills out of fear. It's likely that simply by association with her they would be targets and thus needed to know how to take care of themselves and fight.
But why have him as a Crow in the first place? Why not simply train them well to defend themselves? You can't deny that she doesn't benefit from having her grandchildren in the family business - intentionally wanting Lucanis to take over her position as First Talon. The Antivan Crows are a force to be reckoned with and being one brings a whole lot of power in Antiva - being part of the elite of that group even more so.
If the game showed us the ugly reality of the Crows - the brutality of the lifestyle and how cutthroat the organization is, it could have really added some depth to Illario's betrayal - having it be more than "I want more power/respect" to "this is the result of what you taught me was valuable in life."
Warden: "Do you actually enjoy being an assassin?" Zevran: "And why not? There are many things to enjoy about being a Crow in Antiva. You are respected. You are feared. The authorities go out of their way to overlook your trespasses. Even the rewards are nothing to turn your nose up at."
Illario, bitter about Caterina favoring Lucanis - resentful of the fact that she has already decided that Lucanis will be her successor, being offered power by the Venatori (at the expense of the Crows) and accepting because why not? How different is it from what the Crows do? Isn't power and status the whole point of working yourself up in the Crows? Getting into a relationship with Zara because why not? Isn't sex part of the allure of being a Crow? Why can't he have this? Why shouldn't he have this?
Rook: "When we met, it didn't seem like Illario and Caterina were close." Lucanis: "It was hard to be close to her. Even for me. And...I was her favorite."
Why would he have connections to his family? Why should he? Caterina certainly never seemed to value 'family' beyond what they could do for her and their family legacy. Most of his family is already dead, and of those that remain the only parental figure he has obviously favors Lucanis. We don't have a lot of evidence in-game to show that Illario ever really cared for Lucanis, but the prequel story 'The Wake' and Lucanis' own banter imply that they were practically brothers, best friends. Perhaps he did care and then ceased to at some point, perhaps he didn't at all, or perhaps he accepted that an early death for them both was inevitable like everyone else in their family. Dead now or later - what was the difference? At least if Illario sells him out now to the Venatori then he'll get something from it instead of another dead family member to bury.
It's the tragic result of raising a child in an environment where he was taught and experienced the need for self-preservation at all costs. Constantly threatened, punished, and made well aware of that fact that his life was an expendable commodity. Then, when things in the world went to shit he picked the only option that made sense to him. To save himself.
The irony of the potential fall of the Crows, the fall of House Dellamorte, coming at the hands of one of their own - not because he had a change of heart but because he was taught too well by them. The Crows view those that fail them as disposable, someone to be discarded - if the Crows fail Illario, what is to stop him from applying that mindset to them?
But this would require the writers to acknowledge how messed up the Crows are and we can't do that to our 'Noble Freedom Fighters'™. They'll also need to address Zevran's existence and what lore was established in past games...and we can't have that either lmao.
#the moment he opened his snake mouth I knew lmao#having played the first three games I can see it as a tragedy#but without playing those games? with what information datv provides us? he's just a 'power-hungry cousin'#which is kind of boring? all the side villains in this game are really goofy tbh#really could have been such a cool story if they added more depth to it - otherwise Illario is just 'villain of the week'#Lucanis blink twice if you need help#so upset my Rook toasted to him becoming First Talon - ew gross#and Jacobus becoming a crow? being a 'good' thing? gtfo#i know Caterina didn't know where he was until recently - but the way she talks about it is so casual? “here's where he is - go get him”#it took Rook one boat ride to get there and break him out! you're one of the heads of an assassin guild!#have your assassins assassin!!!#this game is afraid of moral complexity in the same way that Cullen was afraid of female mages in DAO#Just fucking running away at the first sign of something deeper lmao#thanks to thewardenisonthecase for filling my 'for you' page with stuff about Lucanis and making me think about this all lmao#datv spoilers#datv critical#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard critical
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A bunch of people are doing ValAngel screenshot redraws on twitter so I had to join in 🙈🥲
I wanted to do a scene I hadn’t seen anyone else do heheh 🥲🥲
#angel dust#hazbin hotel#valangel#dont look at this if this ship makes you upset#valentino#warning for noncon/sa#this scene traumatized me 🥲#I had to draw it…..#warning for the worst kind of ValAngel#hazbin hotel addict
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Wardrobe Woes
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Yes: there are people who read these comics who don't know much about mdzs. Several are my beloved and supportive friends B'*)#This comic in particular is one that I've been thinking about for a very long time and I'm so happy to finally be here!#I was trying to think about how to explain the social rules of the forehead ribbon and the reason lwj was so upset#and the metaphor of 'it's kind of like wwx accidently undoing lwj's bikini in front of a crowd.' came to mind.#of course there's a bit more to it than that but the point here is that - accident or not - it still embarrasses lwj#wwx doesn't get the entire context behind it (at the time. Now he *does* and it all makes a bit more sense)#But he knows he made lwj upset. He knows he doesn't want to put lwj in another embarrassing situation.#Not after all this. Not after everything. Not after realizing that his desire for friendship might be the kind of desire that ruins lan zha#Love the symbolism of the archery outfits being red during this moment of 'whoops only married couples can do that' moment.#What if we accidental proposed............accidental marriage....accidental kiss the bridegroom....accidental fall in love.#Guess we did inadvertently get the puffy sleeves and bikini outfits in the end.#wwx in an old timey bathing suit is so important to me. I'll die on this hill.#lwj's cute little box is inspired by @lazycranberrydoodles's cute fan art <3 I love it a lot
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a 2 act tragedy starring me: i’ve been making fruit smoothies in the morning for a few days which has been great because it’s getting me to actually eat fruit for once, only to go on the internet and be told that it apparently releases all the natural sugars so it's actually Not that great for you and i am devastated
#ramble#i thought i was doing myself SO many favours#i ENJOY FRUIT i just don’t eat it for some reason related to adhd#context i am a long term ED sufferer so this kind of thing upsets me#honestly i don't care that much because it feels like it's better than Zero Fruit#can any dieticians put my mind at ease#someone explain how ‘the natural sugars are released and become Bad Sugar’ makes sense. like it’s all just the FRUIT#chanting to myself ‘there are no bad foods there are no bad foods there are no bad foods’#like the Nutrients are still there and some of the fibre is still there#tw ed#on a lighter note current fave is pineapple+orange#also kiwi which i didn’t think would be good#edit: WAIT YOU’RE RIGHT WOULDN’T THE SUGARS BE RELEASED THE EXACT SAME WAY BY JUST CONSUMING THE FRUIT. WHAT THE FUCK
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actually oh my god i love bluesey and gansey and blue both but why does the fandom act like it's irrational that adam was upset with them both for getting together right after blue and adam broke up. hey I really like you and you don't like me but wait fuck you like my kind of best friend that I'm obsessed with and so jealous of that 2 years down the line I literally lie and pretend I have his life? um? yeah sorry adam parrish they could never make me hate you.
#not gansey or blue hate just uhhh shit is kind of crazy#ada.txt#trc#im being stupid again whatever#adam parrish#pynch#bluesey#bluedam#is that their ship name? idk#anyway yeah.#and they know its wrong too cause they go behind his back. not to project but its kind of making me actually upset.#not hate i love blue sargent more than anything else#gansey on the other hand. actually no sorry love him too#im going crazy#what if i told you im having religious visions.#joke#ahhhh fuck
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Me explaining in terms of strictly how I read canon I think Nahida not severely punishing the Sages is just meant to convey that Nahida, even when wronged, is not a very vengeful or harsh person and makes the choice to be kind instead, but in my mind I have this idea of a Nahida interpretation which elaborates on that where her self punishing tendencies extend to her being someone who internally downplays her own experiences constantly, and as a result has a hard time feeling she’s allowed or justified in placing a lot of blame on the Sages for what they did to her So while she is following her own philosophies regarding teaching lessons/wisdom/etc in how to handle the Sages and genuinely doesn’t want to be really angry or punishing because of who she is as a person, her decision is also influenced by the fact she’s basically blocked herself out of grappling with how to handle people who hurt her by blaming herself for said hurt instead as a coping mechanism. And like this is all just me being insane about Nahida Trauma and not something explicitly implied in canon but also I really do think this isn’t a far stretch from her canon characterization especially when my vision isn’t to conclude that Nahida needs to be angry and vengeful but she should extend the kindness she shows others to herself and also every day I get tormented thinking about she was the mental equivalent of an average human child when the Sages found her and how they basically specifically discarded her for being a child and the idea of how Nahida would pick up on + internalize that and eventually need time to unlearn it
#nahida#genshin#fern.txt#genshin tangents#fictional child abuse cw#anyways is anyone else here normal#see I think a sentiment most ppl get from nahdia’s character is correctly that she is kind despite being treated so poorly#but I want to explore her grappling with Why she does that bc she is genuinely kind#and I don’t think she’s struggling with moving on from things#but based off things she says word for word I feel it’s established nahida is very distressed by not being able to rationalize or#understand things that upset her#this is clear in both her SQs & her voicelines even down to her not liking seafood bc the unknown of the ocean#intimidates her. so I’d imagine she’s someone who responds to being mistreated by concluding#there must be a reason for it. and I actually have dialogue that backs me up here#bc when we first learn the sages have imprisoned nahida nahida herself basically says it’s fine bc her existence has#little meaning and she’s not good enough to be an archon. even as paimon is remarking how awful#the sages are for it and prompting nahida on if she’s upset w them#it’s not that Nahida isn’t insightful enough to acknowledge something as mistreatment#but rather she finds more comfort and a sense of control in having explanations for things#heck the reason she gives up her gnosis to Dottore is states in her char stories to be bc#she doesn’t want the lack of control that comes from a lack of information#nahida leaning on knowledge for a sense of control makes me esp sad when I think abt how#she does not have autonomy or agency for a majority of her life bc of her imprisonment n had fo rely on her#mind n ability to learn n gain knowledge#anyways to reiterate ks anyone else normal
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