#edit: WAIT YOU’RE RIGHT WOULDN’T THE SUGARS BE RELEASED THE EXACT SAME WAY BY JUST CONSUMING THE FRUIT. WHAT THE FUCK

[lazylittledragon]

a 2 act tragedy starring me: i’ve been making fruit smoothies in the morning for a few days which has been great because it’s getting me to actually eat fruit for once, only to go on the internet and be told that it apparently releases all the natural sugars so it's actually Not that great for you and i am devastated

[cat-brodsky]

Turkish coffee: beginner edition

(A cezve. Picture from Wikimedia commons, by Eaeeae)

I’ve been brewing and drinking Turkish coffee for most of my life. I’m biased and I’ll gladly admit that.

Turkish coffee is a method of preparation, not a specific cultivar. The coffee is unfiltered and prepared on a stove (or in hot sand, but that isn’t an option for the average beginner) using a cezve.

How about a tl;dr first?

Sure.

grind your coffee beans finely

put the powder into a cezve, along with sugar and spices if using any, then fill with water

stir before brewing, not during

put the cezve on low heat and keep a close eye on it

do not let the water boil

when foam starts rising, give the cezve a gentle nudge to make sure it rises properly

as soon as the foam rises to the lip, the coffee is done

An overly detailed explanation to follow.

Picking a cezve

A cezve is a small pot with a narrow “neck” and a long handle. A cezve is often called an ibrik, but that’s not entirely correct - an ibrik is, simply, a pitcher.

Cezves are traditionally made out of copper or brass, but modern ones might also be glass, metal, or ceramic. Depending on where you live, you might have some trouble finding a cezve - check your local Middle Eastern store or try to thrift one.

Size: pick the size you need, no more and no less. You should always fill your cezve up to the “neck” to make sure your coffee brews properly, and that means you can’t make one cup of coffee in a cezve that makes two or more cups.

Shape: a wider bottom and a narrow neck. A wide bottom is important for proper heating. A narrow neck ensures that crema (foam) forms properly, which prevents coffee from boiling. A cezve without any narrowing is no good.

Material: ideally copper or brass. Copper has high heat conductivity, which means it heats faster and evenly, but also cools down fast. Ceramic or clay cezves release heat slowly, which results in carryover heating, and that means your coffee is prone to boiling over once it’s off the heat. Stainless steel is a compromise.

Important: copper is an excellent material for cookware, but copper salts are toxic. All copper cookware should have an internal coating, typically of tin. Do not use your copper goods if the coating is damaged.

Handle: should be long enough that you can hold the cezve safely, should never heat up while you’re brewing, and shouldn’t be so heavy that it can tip the cezve over.

If you own a cezve, take care of it. Avoid using metal utensils on the inside, especially if your cezve is copper. Don’t use it for anything but coffee - because of the narrow neck, the inside is very difficult to clean. You don’t need to use dish soap, just rinse it out the best you can. An invisible layer of coffee oils building up on the inside is normal.

     Ideally, you will also have a grinder. Turkish coffee begins with a very fine grind, finer than espresso or french press, so store-bought coffee will most likely be ground too coarsely. In addition, the beans lose flavour quite fast after grinding, so the fresher the grind the better - a few hours in advance is fine, right before brewing is ideal. (Experiment with that. You may prefer one or the other.)

Coffee enthusiasts usually recommend you buy a burr grinder - they’re right, but not all burr grinders can grind finely enough. If you’re on a budget, look for a hand grinder.

Key points:

use the freshest beans you can use

grind very finely, preferably right before brewing

water quality is important - use filtered or pre-boiled water, if possible

don’t let the water boil

try to be as consistent as possible - same amount of coffee and water, same temperature, same preparation time, same grind size, et cetera

adjust things one at a time so you can learn the effect they have

Best practices

This isn’t a recipe as much as it is a set of guidelines to follow. I’m going to do my best to explain why I do things this way. You might disagree, and that’s okay. Experiment with things. See what tastes good.

Turkish coffee is quite strong, but it doesn’t have to be quite bitter - excessive bitterness is a sign that you over-brewed, or worse, boiled your coffee.

Roast: pretty much any, not too dark and not too light.

Grind size: fine. Powder, but not dust. Experiment with it; the darker your roast, the coarser you should grind. If your grinder is terrible, you’ll want to throw out the stray bigger bean pieces - they don’t make for a good drinking experience.

The reason why is that darker roasts are less sweet, less fruity. The grind size influences extraction - the finer the grind, the more you get out of your beans - but over-extracting the coffee makes it unpleasantly bitter.

Cultivar: again, pretty much any. You don’t have to buy a specific “Turkish” blend - that’s not a thing. I’d probably suggest arabica over robusta, unless you really want your coffee to pack a punch.

Keep in mind that lighter roasts have more caffeine than dark roasts. Bitterness does not equal strength.

Grind your beans, then put an appropriate amount of coffee powder into your cezve. I put in one heaping teaspoon per small cup. (Again, this is a guideline. Adjust to taste.) If you want to add sugar or spices, add them now. Make sure they’re evenly mixed with coffee.

The reason why is that Turkish coffee is unfiltered. If you stir the sugar in after brewing, you’re going to disturb the grounds and end up having to wait for them to settle again.

Then add water, filling up to the “neck” of the cezve. If your cezve does not have a neck, you’re holding a saucepan. (If you’re making do with a saucepan, fill up to about an inch from the top).

In some online guides, you’ll see people putting water first and then adding coffee. I haven’t had good results with this method. Depending on what your cezve is shaped like, the powder might just not dissolve properly and this means you’re getting weak coffee with a layer of burnt grinds on top.

I give the cezve a swirl like you would to a lab flask to make sure the coffee is mixed in with water. If you need to give it a stir, a wooden utensil is preferable to make sure you don’t scratch the inner coating.

Wait, which temperature water should you use?

...I don’t know.

I usually use room temperature water. While testing things for this guide, though, I brewed several cezves starting out with warm water. The results were very different from each other. Starting with warm water means shorter extraction time, means less bitter but less complex flavour, so... I think the “right” water temperature will depend on the beans you're using. Start with room temperature water and adjust from there.

Professional brewers say two and a half minutes brewing time per (small) cezve is the proverbial gold standard, so the water temperature should facilitate that. I don’t feel like getting obsessed with exact numbers, though.

Anyway. If you have a gas stove, put a cezve on low heat (high heat makes coffee very likely to boil, which is quite bad for the taste). If you have an electric stove, making coffee will be tougher, because electric stoves don’t keep consistent heat - they heat and cool in cycles. Try putting it on high heat and adjusting the temperature by removing the cezve from the stove as needed.

Now stay in the kitchen and watch your coffee like a hawk. Yes, that needs to be specified. Turkish coffee overflows suddenly and explosively, and if you get distracted for a second, you can end up having to clean your stove.

If your coffee does overflow, that’s okay - it happens to everyone. Don’t try to clean it up immediately, let it cool first.

So ideally what’s going to happen is your coffee will start forming a head of foam - you’ll see it appear in the neck of the cezve and then begin to rise, slow at first and fast as temperature rises. At this stage, you might want to give the cezve a gentle nudge to make sure the foam can rise freely. (What might happen otherwise is that it overflows suddenly.) Don’t stir it, though. The foam prevents the water from boiling and some volatile compounds from evaporating - in short, it makes your coffee better, so you don’t want to disrupt it.

When the foam starts rising, the coffee is very close to being done, so get ready to take it off the heat. It’s done when the foam reaches the rim of the cezve.

Again, some online guides will advise you to do the following: after taking the coffee off the heat, let the foam go down, then put it on the heat again, repeating this cycle two or three times. In my opinion, that’s unnecessary. It doesn’t improve the taste or let more foam form.

Professionals actually advise you to use a chilled cup to pour your coffee in to make sure the coffee doesn’t overbrew. If you do that, be careful that your cup doesn’t crack from the sudden change in temperature - don’t use glass.

You’re going to want to wait some time to let the coffee cool down and let the grounds settle to the bottom of the cup. For that reason, don’t drink the entire cup - coffee grounds do not taste good. I like the mouthfeel of unfiltered coffee, but if you don’t, you can certainly put it through a fine strainer or even a paper filter.

Tradition says that the foam (if this were espresso, it’d be called crema) is a vital part of coffee experience, therefore, pour a little in each cup first to make sure it’s evenly distributed among the drinkers.

Serve in any way you like - I’m not going to tell you how to best enjoy your coffee, because that’s definitely a matter of preference.

some philosophy

some people can get obsessive in their quest for the perfect cup. i’m certainly one of them, or else i wouldn’t have written this guide. but coffee, no matter how delicious, is a means to an end, not the end goal.

sure, you may want to serve your friends the perfect cup, but if you care more about the coffee you’re drinking than about the conversation you’re having, then you’re doing something wrong.

Coffee grounds divination

If you can see the coffee grounds at the bottom of an empty cup, then your coffee was delicious.

If you can’t see the coffee grounds in an empty cup, then you might have drank them.

If there are tea leaves at the bottom of a cup, then you weren’t drinking coffee.

Dorm room coffee (part 3) coming 32nd of October. I’m going to talk about which poisons go well with coffee and how to dispose of the body of that roommate who used a metal fork on your best non-stick pan.

[ardentmuse]

Perchance a Parchment (George Weasley x Reader) - Part 3

Harry Potter - George Weasley x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 2.7k

Summary: As letters with the mysterious Rhubarb continue, a Weasley decides to enter your shop and see for himself what your business is all about. 

Series Masterlist // Masterlist

There is nothing as calming as the perfect warm bath. Just hot water and foaming suds that smell like lavender or sage or vanilla. That feeling of the skin of your toes slowly wrinkling and the release of all the tension of your body...

When I was in school and playing quidditch, I would often find my body completely bruised and my muscles strained. I was always advised by our nurse to take ice cold baths to help restore by body. I hated them so much. I would sit there soaking, feeling shock in my limbs, and imagine instead a hot spring and the warm sun on my back.

Now, I take a bath twice a week and imagine still the same thing. My brother thinks a bath is useless unless you’re sharing it with a beautiful woman. I wouldn’t know, but I can’t imagine it would hurt one bit.

Rhubarb

You laughed as you sat at your desk, a stake of ten or twelve parchments beside your bed. In the past week, you’ve been exchanging letters with Rhubarb regularly, sometimes multiple times a day. At first, it was serious talk about life direction and feeling passion, but now every time you had a stray thought, an interesting idea, or an odd curiosity, you posted a note to Rhubarb and waited patiently for his reply.

You wrote him about your favorite book. He wrote you about a silly thing his niece did at dinner. You mused to him about how funny the differences between wizards and muggles are in regards to how they handle the rain. He explained to you the stress of importing rare potions ingredients.

You felt like you had found a kindred spirit, a beautiful soul in this world with an entire life and thoughts and hopes to unpack and learn. With Tom, there was no newness anymore, not that novelty was a required part of a healthy relationship. The hope for any true love is to learn the other so deeply that their mind becomes as clear as your own. But you did expect surprise: a bouquet of flowers, a new restaurant to try, a rogue thought given voice that might have you laughing. A relationship should bring you comfort, yes, but when the excitement of the relationship becomes slow, the excitement of life should take over.

With Tom, you had comfort in bounds, but at some point along the way, you decided comfort alone was enough.

You heard the ding of Patty entering the shop just as you began to pen a quick note about the comforts of a cup of tea in the morning. She popped her head in and gave you a giant smile.

“Letters from Romeo?” she asked. You shook your head at the teasing but let a smile consume your face regardless.

It was just harmless flirting, you kept telling yourself but you couldn’t pretend you didn’t like the attention.

George stood outside the bookstore just down the road from his shop, staring in that same window he had the week previous, watching the strikingly pretty woman animated tell tales to a small hoard of children and parents.

The real estate agent had said the business was tanking, that kids were spending their money elsewhere, like at his establishment, instead of buying books. He said the landlord had assured him that the current tenant would be out in a month’s time. But George had to see for himself. He had to know what was ending in order for him to succeed. He had to put a face to the situation.

And to say he wasn’t just a little bit curious as to what those eyes or that smile might look like when directed at him would be a lie.

He watched and waited under the awning of Madam Malkin’s until the story time ended and the children left, a few with books or puppets in hand. He watched the woman stand, brush out her skirts, shake the hands of the few parents who offered, and have an exaggerated conversation with one, who he assessed must be a regular. With a kiss on the cheek, the last of the customers left, and George, with a shaky, steadying breath, entered the tiny bookstore.

You were cleaning up the small rugs and dolls in your reading nook when a ding at the door pulled your eyes upward.

“Welcome,” you shouted over your shoulder as you continued your cleaning.

At first, all you saw was a mop of red hair, the stacks of new releases blocking your vision. The hair was pretty and striking, wet from the rain wihich pulled the brown undertones outward. But then he took two steps inward and you saw the face. Weasley.

You did your best to hide your scowl.

He didn’t approach you at first, instead he browsed the shelves. His long hands scanning the spines as he made his way towards the back of the shop. You felt his eyes flick to you every so often. You caught his gaze once and you thought you noticed a small smile on his lips. Of course Weasley would think your humble store is some joke.

“Can I help you with something?” you asked, resting yourself against the counter and watching his movements carefully.

He turned to you in shock, like he had forgotten about your presence. He was holding a book in his hands, a new edition of your favorite book from your childhood, a retelling of the adventures of Merlin and the Knights of the Roundtable, the exact book you had just written to Rhubarb about.

“I… um…” the man began, staring into your eyes for a moment too long before taking quick strides towards your counter. He set down the book between you and outstretched his arm. “Nice to meet you, I’m--”

You cut him off, “Weasley, I know who you are. Is there anything I can help you with?” You didn’t offer your hand in return.

He looked like a kicked puppy, his brow knitted as he pulled his hand back. You had the good sense to feel sorry for your outburst.

“It’s George, actually,” he mumbled.

“George,” you said, taking a breath, trying to undo your anger. It wasn’t like he had ever done anything to you but run a big business that was upping the rents around here. “I’m sorry for my less than warm welcome. Your reputation precedes you a tad.”

“My reputation?”

“You do own that obnoxiously large shop down the road, the one that is filling these children with sugar and creating chaos?”

George blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck. You couldn’t help but think that it was quite a pleasant sight, this adorable man with broad shoulders and nice hands getting nervous at your words. If he weren’t part of your problem, you might actually find him attractive.

“I guess that’s us,” he said. “But we aren’t trying to be a problem, honest. We’re just trying to bring joy to children, just like you.”

You hated to admit that he was right. But then you recalled the nights you walked by, spells bursting from their shop into the street and causing a stir for all the nearby businesses, their quick expansion, and all the times a child launched a prank into your filing cabinets.

“I think I can see your point,” you said, “I just wish you all didn’t have to arm the children.”

George spit out a laugh, “We arm them with wands at eleven. I doubt a couple chocolates at fourteen is what’s going to lead them to lives of crime.”

You laughed too, meeting his eyes as he reclined ever further into the counter. Maybe he was attractive…

“So what can I do for you, George Weasley?” you asked as you watched the corner of his lip lift, revealing a dimple deep in his freckled cheek.

“I just wanted to take a look around. We’re neighbors after all.” George turned his back to you and began browsing the featured tables again which currently displayed collections of young adult romances from a local author who did a signing here a few days ago.

“We are, but we may not much longer,” you admitted.

George froze, his back taut with tension as he held onto the display table.

“Moving shop?” he asked, though his tone made it clear he knew what you were saying.

“Closing, I think. It seems there may be certain businesses willing to pay a higher price for the space.” You lingered on the word businesses just to see if he reacted, but he didn’t. He simple straightened his back.

“Well,” George said, meeting your eyes again and giving you a winning smile, “I think you have a lovely business here. You are amazing with those kids and the parents seem very grateful for you.”

His compliment had you smiling.

“You may think I’m the enemy but I believe in community… I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”

He was back against the counter again, hovering over you just a little and you felt your breath hitch at the closeness.

“Y/N” you managed.

“Y/N,” he whispered, “Lovely.”

A chill ran down your spine. Your name was butter on his tongue and you loved the sound of it. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, those brown piercing orbs, soft like roasted chestnuts, surrounded by just the lightest wrinkles from years of laughter and joy, freckles covering every inch of his brow bone.

George coughed and you watched the red spread across his neck.

“Just the book,” he said, patting the hardback that sat on the counter between you.

You looked away in embarrassment as you tried to compose yourself.

“A good choice,” you said, reaching for the book to check the price. Your hand landed on top of George’s and as you pulled the book forward he didn’t pull away. The brush of your fingertips against the back of his hand rose goosebumps on your arm. This man was kinetic, as much as you hated it.

He handed you the sickles your requested and left the store with the book wrapped in parchment paper.

“Thanks for the hospitality, neighbor,” he said at the door before swiftly slipping into the rain.

Before you could even process what had just occurred, Patty popped her head out of the back room.

“And who was that handsome snack?” Her voice had you jumping out of your skin.

“Just a Weasley,” you said, trying to sound dismissive.

“A Weasley you clearly have the hots for!” she said with a smirk as she perched on your counter.

You swatted her off with a cloth, hoping to distract yourself with some dusting. You hated just how right she always was.

George didn’t have words for what just happened as he walked about to his shop. That woman was… enchanting, his mind decided. Feisty and honest but warm and sweet too. And when she touched his hand… that kind of chemistry can’t be created. It just happens. And since Angie, George hadn’t felt that feeling. Years of meeting new people and not one had him so intoxicated as that shopkeeper.

George didn’t even have time to explain when he walked back into Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. He simply set his book on the counter and found Fred restocking the shelves.

“We can’t rent that storefront,” he said with confidence, “I simply refuse. We can buy a warehouse in the country, connect it to the Floo network. It’d be inconvenient but--”

“Um,” Fred said, “It may be too late for that…”

And George’s heart sank, not because that beautiful, compelling shopkeeper that he desperately wanted to ask on a date would be out of business, though he didn’t like that one bit either, but because she was now going to believe him to be a con-artist and a trickster, walking into her shop and talking of community while stealing her business from under her.

The only woman who had captured his attention in half a decade was about to hate his guts.

You were pouring yourself the final glass from your bottle of wine when Tom cut you off.

“Darling, I think you’ve had enough.”

“Not true,” you started to say but lost your balance as you were returning to the couch. Tom caught your arm and helped you recline into the pillows on your end.

“I guess you’re right,” you said with a hiccup.

Tom took a seat in the chair on the other end of the living room.

You reached forward and picked up the letter once again. You had read it maybe fifty times since it arrived. You were hoping though with the alcohol, you might look again and see the words change to something much more pleasant.

You read the words out loud to Tom, “Dear Y/N, A new tenant is ready to take over the lease starting on the first. Please begin move-out proceedings soon unless you can provide me the down payment as discussed.” You threw the letter back on the table. “Nope, still says the same thing.”

Tom rubbed the bridge of his nose and said, “I don’t see why you are so upset. You are a capable witch with lots of experience and global knowledge. You could work anywhere. I’m sure the Ministry would love someone like you. Hell, we at Gringotts could use your cultural know-how.”

Maybe it was the drink, but you wanted to punch him.

“This isn’t just a job to me, Tom. This is a dream.”

“And some dreams must come to an end,” he said softly and sweetly, like he was talking to a child, not his girlfriend.

You watched him from your spot on the couch. He picked up the newspaper from your end table and read, completely oblivious to your fuming. In the time since he came over, he had yet to provide you any real comfort and you couldn’t help but think how Rhubarb might behave in this same scenario. He seemed the kind of man who liked hugs. He’d probably be beside you on this couch instead of across the room. He’d pat your head and kiss your cheek and offer to draw you a bath, but only if you promised to drink a glass of water before your next glass of wine. Maybe he’d even join you in that bath, covering your nose in bubbles and making himself a mohawk. He’d dive under the water to kiss your belly and knees and have you in giggles before the water went cold. Maybe by the time you went to sleep, you’d actually feel a little better.

You waited a few minutes just to see if Tom would even look over at you as you cried on the couch.

Finally, as he went to turn the pages to finish his article, his eyes met yours and he seemed to notice your tears for the first time.

He sighed, “This whole rent thing really has you upset, doesn’t it.”

Immediately, you stood. “I’m sorry the loss of my entire life’s work is inconvenient for you!” You turned towards your room and stomped away, only stopping to take the rest of the wine bottle that he had denied you with you.

When you reached the door to your room, you took a giant swig, holding the bottle by the stem.

“Just leave, Tom,” you said over your shoulder. You heard him stand and begin to walk towards you but you didn’t bother to wait. You slammed the door in his face.

“Babe,” he said at the door once you had already tossed yourself on your bed. “Babe?” he said once more, but when you didn’t answer, you heard him sigh once more. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll let myself out and I’ll see you for dinner this weekend, yes?” Again, you didn’t respond. “I love you,” he said and the silence that followed was deafening.

Once you heard your front door close, you downed the rest of your bottle and made for your desk. Diomedes was nice and patient upon his perch for you. You couldn’t bring a pen to paper fast enough.

Hey Rhubarb,

Want to meet?

Cherry

All tags: @fangirlandnerd, @aerdnandreaa, @thisisbullshytt,  @cancerousjojian, @whovianayesha, @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy, @luna-xxxxx, @sleepylunarwolf, @starryrevelations, @potter-thinking, @all-by-myself98, @bananafosters-and-books, @cutie-bug

Harry Potter tags: @tessimagines, @0-lost-in-stereo-0, @whysoseriouspadfoot

Perchance a Parchment tags: @cucumberinmyass, @justducky0423, @thequeen-ofnerds, @yuaasa, @comic-creature, @hermionebennet, @semicharmedkindofali, @sugerquill, @can-i-fangirl-yet, @doct0rstrange, @igotmadskills, @otherthingsinhead, @olixerwxxd, @caramiriel, @gryffinclxw, @lizmar20, @indicisive-af, @confettidreameryouwhoreo-blog, @hellizhelusive2, @kaitsubaki, @dooriha, @justfollowtheroad, @memogorgon, @xxsophie-raabxx