#but it kinda does make sense though
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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Cleanup <3
#hoof draws#hoofology#this feels like a return to form of some sort... broody comics about baby ginger#idk tho. it only occurred to me recently that this might not be a standard experience of everyone's childhood#does this. generally make sense though#<- when you're hyper aware of your parents issues ig it feels like you can't add any problems to the plate-#so you kinda learn to deal with everything on your own to avoid burdening them
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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my only complaint about 2005 dw is that we didn’t get more episodes with gung-ho mortal baby jack harkness. absolutely smitten by that fucker
#I mean. who isn’t. that’s kinda the point#exactly what he Wants#im saying this because he’s pretty but also because as much as I think the direction he goes in is intetesting and I love torchwood with#all my heart (as much as it Hurts Me) there’s something so novel about chaotic rebellious pre-resurrection jack#that you never truly get after that first season#like it’s always there in the foundation of his character to a degree but he does end up with a lot more self control and people look up to#him and he’s much more orderly and and all-around not really chaotic anymore (torchwood as a group is chaotic in certain ways for sure but#he himself? not often. mostly only in trying situations or when highly highly emotional)#and don’t get me wrong it all makes sense narratively. that he’d end up like that. he’s had literally centuries to gain wisdom and#self discipline and to learn how to be a proper leader and to become jaded and an existential black hole of a man#but. yknow. I just miss that sexy egomaniacal revolution-leader type jack#anyway. at least he gets to fuck around with guys on screen in torchwood though. definitely an upgrade#kibumblabs#dw#doctor who#jack harkness
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Him..............
#messmer the impaler#elden ring messmer#elden ring#im not an elden ring blog guys just warning. i havent even played the game i just saw this guy and went oo#partner [who has played video game] was right this guy is my brand and i like his shapes tm#he does give me an odd sense of art dysphoria though. idk if that makes sense. hes both what i like to draw and express in art#but also highlights so much of what i hate about my art. kind of response where im kinda only posting this bc partner asked me to#hell might delete idk. but for now have him bc i do like the guy a lot
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i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies
BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#i do love the casting for the musical lots and lots though#it was really good#i do also have some nitpicks for show casting but they're largely inconsequential#like majority i very much enjoy and think are cast well#i only have one i'd say im actually disappointed with and that's Poseidon. idk he just feels. bland??? does that make sense?#like idk maybe it's the costuming but im not getting Sea God *or* Fishing Dad from him#like i think i kinda see what they were going for and i saw some gifs of him in another show where he plays a pirate and its like#okay. *little* bit better. but idk im just not getting Poseidon from it#in general most of the immortals in the show dont feel very Immortal(tm) but thats definitely mostly just the writing/show itself#not any reflection of the casting#my only other two are i would have liked plus sized Clarisse. i am VERY sad we didnt get that#Dior is a VERY good Clarisse though so i'm not too upset about it. i like her Clarisse energy. the yelling is fantastic.#my most controversial pjo tv take is im still meh on Walker. like he's fine. but like he's kind of Just Fine to me so far#its probably mostly the writing being bad but he hasnt grown on me as Percy yet. i can tell he has the energy though in interviews n stuff#and the main trio dynamic in interviews and stuff is *very* good. i just wish the show writing was better#because the casting IS very good but they have so little to work with. you can really tell theyre trying their best#i like to joke the show would be better if they just set the cast loose in the woods doing in-character improv#like its clear basically all of them know their characters SUPER well. id watch 8 episodes of in the woods pjo cosplay improv.
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i need some willard falls asleep listening to wallace think out loud at the workshop table ASMR
#for real though. i think willard would love the sound of wallace working downstairs at any given moment#it’s nice to be reminded of wallace’s presence and have that comforting expectation#like suddenly loud hanmering and power tool noises erupt from the basement and willard just smiles#even if he’s not actively hanging with wallace he just likes to know he’s working on smth and in his happy place#does any of that make sense i’m kinda zapped today HSJDJDJ#apple pie with cheese#aardman
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I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I've been sleeping so long in a 200-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight
#only thing on my mind lately. these two#to think i only did a ross run in bg3 for funsies at first...and now i kinda wanna do a third run w him...#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#sims#simblr#breeze nsb legacy extra#does it even make sense to put it under the legacy tag. eh idk#oc: ross#*astarion#ship: bloodrose#they go together so well too...ughhh i love them so much sorry caleb#reminder raleb is still very much alive and well in the nsb universe (well......)#this is kinda just for funsies as i said#even though yea bloodrose has me in a chokehold right now and it made me put raleb on the back burner lol
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2024 reads / storygraph
Our Lady Of Mysterious Ailments & The Mystery at Dunvegan Castle
books 2 & 3 in the Edinburgh Nights series
paranormal mystery set in a climate-ravaged future Scotland, plagued by ghosts and magic
follows a 15yo Black girl who’s finally gotten an in to learn scientific magic properly - but it turns out to be an unpaid internship, so she has to take more jobs delivering ghost messages and investigating mysteries to take care of her gran and little sister
in book 2 she’s investigating a strange illness centred on a magic school for boys
and in book 3 she’s attending a global magician conference held in a creepy castle - when someone’s murdered, and they’re locked in until she figures out the culprit
Zimbabwean magic, friendship, disabled characters, no romance (so far)
#The Mystery at Dunvegan Castle#Our Lady Of Mysterious Ailments#Edinburgh Nights#T.L. Huchu#The Library of the Dead#really enjoy this series!#the worldbuilding is very interesting - kinda combo climate-ravaged future but also in some aspects societally it feels kinda 1800s#(especially with the vibe of the mystery/paranormal elements)#I saw that the author (who is from Zimbabwe) describe it as ‘if edinburgh was a third world city’ which actually makes a lot of sense#Also I have to make the wendell & wild x lockwood & co comp again#I felt like book 2 was a little all over the place? I slightly lost track of the other-realms stuff lol#I really loved book 3 though - definitely more direct plot-wise#I like how it explores her journey through learning that the magic society is just as corrupt and shitty as anything else and maybe she#doesn't want it after all. as well as how the stress of everything is getting to her is causing panic attacks#love the scottish accent in the audiobooks!#so many interesting different supernatural elements. yay for sidhe in book 3 (tho only briefly)#hold on. do the book covers reflect the colour of her locs. (ok not quite for book one which is usually blue but there is a green variant)#ok I did say no romance but also I can’t tell if I’m just imagining Something between ropa & priya bc in book 3……they had some moments.#I mean I enjoy them as platonic moments also but just noting here in case it DOES turn out to be intentional and something that happen??#also fair warning the promo for book four seems to spoil somehting that's not even in the blurb??#aroaessidhe 2024 reads
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Ok but why is Natsuki the only character to get one pair of casual clothes. Like her Sayori and Yuri get their weekend outfits but those two also get another outfit in extra artwork (the overalls and the black dress) and while Monika gets nothing in game her twitter gives her both her white dress and sweater outfits. So everyone gets like an indoor and outdoor outfit but Natsuki apparently owns nothing else and just wears a shirt skirt combo forever. She is the universe’s least favourite child just give her something please
#I’m not counting the Halloween or anniversary arts those are special occasions#I don’t think I missed anything though#like in the picnic art they gave everyone new outfits but they specifically didn’t change natsuki’s and just used her weekend outfit#it feels kinda intentional does she just not own anything else#like whether it’s outdoor clothes or stuff she’d wear inside the house they had multiple opportunities to show both but she wears one outfit#and that one tweet where her and Yuri bake a cake they specifically change her outfits in between pics but not Natsuki I’m not insane#I feel like I’m making a conspiracy but I don’t know why it’s like this#it’s weird trying to understand her fashion sense too cause it’s like the only reference we have to what she wears normally#I’m half convinced she actually can’t afford any other clothes but since they’re fun promo arts in the side storyverse they don’t address it#and that’s also weird because I don’t think she’s that poor especially in the side stories she could afford at least one other shirt#or maybe she just really likes that one fit#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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The thing that kills me about the Star Wars prequel trilogy and why I will die on my hill that my problem is not that Star Wars is a tragedy, its that its a badly written tragedy, is that Anakin Skywalker was at his closest to being a good Jedi when he was ten years old.
#im not an anakin apologist by any means because I get the point of his character and Im not pro or anti jedi#my only real opinion on all of it is similar to what I was saying about Peter and Tony and the MCU yesterday#its badly written. its EVERYONE being contorted into shapes that dont make a ton of sense in service to#getting characters to where they need to end up for certain things to occur#my opinion is not that Anakin is inherently bad or good or that the Jedi are inherently bad or good#its that their entire conflict was set in motion by forcing the Jedi to act in ways that felt massively OOC when they were#first interviewing him as a kid and like.....I ACCEPT that the Jedi are supposed to be for the most part kindhearted and empathetic and all#of that which is why its so noteworthy in my opinion that this does not match with how they were FORCIBLY portrayed in those early movies#in order to ENGINEER the idea that this kid in desperate need of support but already with a lot of good instincts and positive traits#came to the order of kindly supportive literal empaths and everything went downhill from there#like kindly supportive literal empaths would not in my opinion look at a kid trying his best to be brave & stoic in completely intimidating#circumstances and surroundings and be judgmental and fairly dismissive about it as though theyve never met a kid before let alone a#traumatized one and the fact that thats kinda what happened is in contrast to how a lot of pro anakin people frame that NOT proof#that the Jedi order are inherently bad its that in that key scene and multiple others#the Jedi order were BADLY WRITTEN in pursuit of one pre-determined outcome that mattered more to the script/Lucas than#being true to their core conceit and characterizations. and thats just one example out of dozens I could list and the same holds true for#anakin's side of things so thats why I always steer far away from SW discourse#because Im like the problem with the characters in terms of the most iconic arc is not really any of the characters so much#as the plots refusal to let them actually consistently BE characters rather than just fixed and contrived stepping stones on the way to#the desired endpoint
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Sure hope this isn't some kind of foreshadowing
#I do think it is though#considering the way the use of the angel statue was foreshadowed#and lillium's legs#I should reread the comic at some point#see what I catch#only reason I found this is because I vaguely remembered them talking about homes#and I do think there are other bits of foreshadowing lying around too#the smoke(?) from the iris ability was always red for the madam (from what we have seen) but (I think) it's only been red when Iris popped-#-that one girls eye (gonna be honest though. I didn't realize he popped it at first? I kinda thought it was a flower)#and the white people begging iris (thinking he's irid) to “complete” them#aaaaaalmost makes it sounds like irid made the world they fell into?#but that's crazy#but iris' power is bringing art to life sooooooo it kinda makes sense?#getting entirely off topic!#THAT is only a thought I've had in my head for the past few days#and it has been bugging me since I thought of it#because what if irid faced the same problem iris does?#people wanting to use him or kill him?#ugh#maybe one of these days I'll get the courage to put my thoughts somewhere that isn't the tags#I'm surprised I'm writing them down at all#I should post this before I lose my nerve#countdown to countdown#ctccomic
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When Odysseus takes "trade the world to see my son and wife ..." to a very literal level in Thunder Bringer , because he is JUST A MAN ....
#i hate it here#but i also love it#listening to epic for the 10000 time#the fact that this was foreshadoweded with the very first song “ Penelope and Telemachus#I FIGHT FOR US !!!#and the second song of the first Saga and every saga after that#also eurelecus saying “but we'll die ..” in the broken voice :(#like bro you just over therw him and killed the cows he WARNED YOU NOT TO KILL#but i get it#Hunger do make you do things#still mad at him for opening that bag though#but everything after that i kinda understand#i mean i personally wouldn't overthrow my king and captain#who sacrificed 6 men to save 36 coz well it makes sense to me#but you do you boo#it is understandable#but what Odysseus does is also understandable#but i wouldn't personally doo itt#or maybe i will#can't really say#i haven't been in a war and then in the Ocean away from my wife and son for *cough* 10 * cough* i mean 12 years#especially after finding out my mom died waiting for meee#and that whole prophet thing with my palace in blood *i know that it was ODYSSEUS* But he DOESN'T#epic the thunder saga#epic: the musical#odysseus#eurylochus#thunder saga#thunder bringer#just a man
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i still haven’t written out my 261 metapost but i can’t stop thinking about the stsg subtext in that chapter . the parallels between geto slaughtering the village and gojo slaughtering the higher ups…. the fact that gojo does it right after declaring that he has to “catch up” to geto
#IT’S SOOOOOOO#i will die defending gege akutami’s character writing i’m sorry#i think the shinjuku arc is sloppy when it comes to pacing and some technical fight stuff#but character writing wise it’s SO fucking good it’s so incredible it drives me insane#character writing AND relationship writing#which imo are gege’s strongest points aside from fight choreography#like it just . drives me insane#it’s such an interesting line!!!#he needs to Catch Up to geto. he needs to make a choice for himself not knowing if it’s right or wrong just like he did#he needs to carry through with an extreme action to get the change he wants .#instead of the slow “root cause” method that he himself implemented#(which for the record would have been smarter in geto’s case but for gojo’s goal extreme violence Works )#i also think that on some level it’s like … kinda proving geto’s point?#“you could do it satoru.” he has the power to change the world almost however he wants and he finally used it#at the expense of his own morality and sense of reason. which does turn him into a “monster” narratively i think#i mean . obviously i don’t think gojo killing the higher ups makes him a bad person 😭 it’s a very big deal for gojo’s character though!!#he’s always been capable of cold pragmatism. and he’s always been willing to get his hands bloodied .#but NOT with humans/sorcerers and that’s the really big distinction . he’s not psychotic. he never has been.#i think gojo was probably scared when he decided to go through with it. because it really is him trading a piece of his humanity away#:((((((((((((#aughhhhhhhh gege akutami i love you but when i fucking catch youuuuuuuuuu#anyway i should rlly save all this for the metapost but 😭 i needed to get it out….#ari noises ✩#meta ✩#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers#jjk 261
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Limbus Company things
#mocha's art#limbus company#the last one is an unfinishe self insert shh#i like how it turned out though#very Yi Sangpilled lately#Linton Yi Sang does not make any sense but honestly I think it fits him kinda#plus I just want to draw him with his drip tbh
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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