#but it is actually very not cute in here and I don't like it at all

[mlyscha]

↳ "DAFUC" ⭑

𝓼ynopsis. in which you came across a trend where you say "dafuc" after every single sentence that comes out of your mouth. 𝓹airing. enha!member x female!reader 𝓰enre. fluff, crack, trendy. 𝔀arnings. obvious curse words, not proofread and just sunghoon, sunoo and riki with their side eye thing lol. 𝔀𝓬. 1,6k+ 𝓶asterlist.

♡ 𝓪melie's 𝓷ote: oh my god. oh my god oh my gooooddd thank you guys for all the support on my last posts◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜i'm so happy and thankful <3 also, i've never had crumbl cookie before so idk if riki's part is accurate or not but... 😜

― 𝓱eeseung: the confused yet amused one.

"okay, so, my boyfriend is gonna rate these sylvanian families i got this week, dafuc," you spoke to the camera while holding a small box filled with the little cute characters. heeseung nodded to the camera, waving at it. "alright, pick one from this box and rate them," "okay-" "dafuc!" "wha... okay, this one is... a rabbit..?" you nodded. "yes, it is," "um... i'll rate this a..." "dafuc!" your boyfriend looks at you funny, frowning as a grin began to spread across his face. "what are you doing?" "what? dafuc..." "there! why do you keep saying that?" "saying what? i am just making you rate my new sylvanian families, babe," "you're playing with me," "dafuc!- no i'm not, dafuc," heeseung threw the little rabbit and it landed in the box you were holding. "babe! dafuc?! rate my-" "i know what you're doing, you little thing-" "AH!" you squealed when your boyfriend suddenly jumped against your body, holding you close and giving your neck subtle bites. and then he would say something like: "yeah, dafuc, dafuc!" with that big grin of his while hearing your laughter.

― 𝒿ongseong: noticed but just brushed it off.

"hey, guys, so, my boyfriend is gonna rate and review my new purse! dafuc. i bought her yester-" "what was that?" jongseong snapped his head at you after the sudden change in your tone. "i don't know what you are talking about," you held his shoulders, moving him to fit the camera's frame better. "okay, anyway guys, i bought this beautiful purse yesterday and i'm obsessed! dafuc!" he ignores. "just to clarify some things: this purse is y/n's boyfriend sponsored, 'kay?" you rolled your eyes behind him, hearing his amused chuckle. "okay, this purse is nice and feels good quality," "what else? dafuc!" "um..." ignores again, just giving you a amused and subtle side eye. "the colour is great and it might fit lots of things in here..." he analyses the purse's inside. "it's cute and it suits you really well, i'm glad i were part of this," in a comic way, jongseong bowed at the camera, giving your purse back to you acting in the same way.

you ended up ending the video after a brief goodbye; "babe, didn't you notice anything off?" "mhm? what exactly?" "ugh... nothing..." you were just about to walk out of the room when you heard your boyfriend's shout: "dafuc!" "babe!"

― 𝒿aeyun: giggles soooo much when he realises.

jaeyun is always amused by everything you do. you know that videos of golden retrievers just adoring their owner? that's definitely him. "and today my beautiful boyfriend- "it's me!" his aussie accent echoed, making you giggle a little. "anyway, yeah, he's gonna review this new lip gloss i bought a few days ago, dafuc! here you go." you handed him the lip gloss. "what should i rate?" "um... the smell, the feel..." "oh, okay," "dafuc!" "mhm... i like the smell, it is not very fruity but still sweet, is good." the gave the camera a thumbs up. "can you apply it so i can taste it and feel it?" "sure, dafuc." you couldn't ignore jaeyun's pouty face while waiting for you to apply it. "can i kiss you now? please, please, pleeeeeasee?" "yeah," you giggled, cupping his cheeks. "dafuc," you spoke before smacking his lips. "that's all?" "mhm-hm," you nodded. "how petty," he complained. jaeyun licked his lips tasting the lip gloss. "mhm... is not that good actually," "it isn't?! dafuc?"

suddenly your boyfriend just stared at you, confused yet curious about your actions. "what? dafuc...?" "there! why do you keep saying that?~" he whined while giggling, hugging you right after realising you were playing with him. "you're so silly, y'know that?"

― 𝓼unghoon: side eyes you so much.

"hey babes!" first side eye. "so, today i brought my boyfriend and he's gonna rate some new clothing i bought this week; dafuc!" "y/n," "mhm?" "why do you call your followers 'babes'?" "tsk, it's just a pet name, you're my ultimate baby, 'kay? dafuc..." you smiled at him and you noticed a small smirk appearing on the corner of his lips; even blushing a little. you chuckled before speaking: "okay, so the first clothing piece is this cute skirt~ dafuc~" "isn't it way too short?" "no is not, feel the fabric and rate it bae, dafuc." second side eye. "it is still short but is cute and suits you really well, i like it." sunghoon nodded while analysing the skirt. "'kay, and...? dafuc," "i rate it a 5/10." "alright," you nodded your head, agreeing with him. "fair enough, dafuc," third side eye. "this next piece is one of my favourites, it is so pretty and ugh, perfect, dafuc." you hid it before bringing it out. "are you ready; dafuc?" fourth side eye followed by a subtle nod. "yes i am, dafuc...?" he mimicked you, kind of confused making you giggled. "tadaaaa~ dafuc~" a beautiful flowy dress was revealed. "it is indeed pretty, i like it baby, 9.5/10." "oh~ dafuc!" and that was his last side eye before the confrontation.

"why'd you keep saying that earlier?" "that...? what?" "the dafuc thing." "it is just a trend babe, like a joke, you know?" you spoke between a fit of laughter. "oh... yeah, i knew it." he pursed his lips, giving you a very last side eye. ― he'll probably search the definition of this word a few minutes later.

― 𝓼unoo: kind of gives up and it's very curious.

"hi everyone, so, today my boyfriend is going to review and rate some of the halloween costumes i've worn over the years, let's get started; dafuc!" sunoo sides eye you for a second, kind of annoyed by your sudden shout, but kept smiling. you abled the green screen video on the tiktok camera and began to search for your halloween costume photos. "alright, so this is the first one, dafuc!" sunoo just looks at you with a curious but amused big grin, almost like he was laughing at your silly action. "um, i would rate this costume an... 8? i think 8.5, it's not good but it's not bad either." he shrugged and you nodded, agreeing with him.

you replaced the last picture with another one, a different costume. "alright babe, i love this costume i think i ate this fit up so rate it carefully, dafuc...!" "um..." he sides eyes you, confused this time by another one of your shouts. "i think i like it...? it's actually really cute, i lied, i like it so much; i actually loved it, babe, oh my god you look so good in this dress, wow..." "awn... thank you babe~ dafuc~" you heard sunoo sigh before covering the camera with his hand. "okay, what are you doing right now?" "what'd you mean?" you pretended to be actually intrigued. "dafuc?" "that! that! why are you saying that after everything you say? should i do it too?"

― 𝒿ungwon: can't stop wondering what you were doing.

"hi guys so, today i brought my boyfriend; say hi, dafuc..." you whispered. "oh, yeah, hi!" jungwon waved at the camera, showing off his dimples while smiling. "and today wonnie' gonna rate my cooking skills, dafuc! because i made a-" "wait," your boyfriend's fit of laughter began to echo. "what was that? the- the- 'dafuc!' thing?" "i don't know what you are talking about," you brush it off. "um, so, i made a beautiful and delicious cheesecake, 'kay, baby, taste it~ dafuc." he stops laughing and cuts a slice of it and takes a spoonful. "mhm! i'ts very good!" "really?! thank you, wonnie, dafuc!" jungwon starts laughing again and you knew why, but kept your poker face. "what? something wrong with the cheesecake?" "not with the cheesecake, but with you, baby," finishing taking a few sips on his water, he looks at you after almost chocking on his dessert. "you are so weird with this dafuc thing..." "um... okay? anyway, how much would you rate it? dafuc." "out of ten?" "yeah, out of ten dafuc," "a nine." he shrugs. "WHAT? WHY DAFUC?" "because the one who made this is weird," "you're done, jungwon." "... aren't you gonna say the word?"

― 𝓻iki: mocks you by mimicking you.

"hey y/nnies! so, today i brought my boyfriend and we are going to rate this week's crumbl cookies, are you ready baby? dafuc..." "yeah," he nods, checking himself out on the camera. "stop checking yourself out, dafuc?" riki sighs, sitting back on his chair. "are you excited, babes?" "i actually am, i've never had these i just saw them on my for you page sometimes, so..." "yeah, riki never had these so.. let's get started i guess; dafuc." riki gives you a discreet side eye, squinting his eyes at the camera mocking you while you opened the box. "and for our today's crumbl of the week we have... chocolate chip, a... butter cake? i think it is; a peanut butter one, the original pink sugar cookie, a strawberry cupcake and the new york cheesecake cookie, dafuc!" "what was that?" "what do you mean?" you whisper, kind of ignoring him.

"okay baby, which one you want to try first? dafuc!" side eye. "um... this one...?" he points to the strawberry cupcake flavoured cookie. "alright, this is the strawberry cupcake, dafuc." you handed him the cookie, waiting for his reaction. riki bit it and handed the cookie back to you. "what do you think?" you asked after taking a bite out of it. "i dunno..." he shrugs, scrunching his nose. "'kay guys, i forgot to mention riki doesn't really like these sugary things ― slash ― cookies, so... dafuc, yeah, but, how'd you rate it?" "4 dafucs and a half."

© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆

[docdudo]

Hybrid 141 As Parents - Foster Human Child!Reader (Part 7)

You and Johnny were at a standstill. You woke up not long ago from your nap, still safely tucked to his side in the nest in an almost claustrophobic way. You were ready to just get up and leave this situation, but Johnny didn't really let you, actually still insisting on playing with you, which resulted in now.

Both of you were staring eachother. You were satting quietly against the nest border as Johnny laid hid big body across the nest easily, laid on his side as he smiled smugly at you, hand holding his head up, his other hand resting quietly near your little feet. If you tried scooting backwards, he would pull you back easily with just a small tug.

"Pup, come on, ya knae ya want to play a wee bit~" He almost singsongs, voice low and provocative...

Still a bit babyish too.

"Wanna play tag?" As you shake your head quietly, he crawls a bit closer, keeping his big body somehow lower than your sitting position. "No tag? I'll play nice, papa always play nice!" He smiles big, sharp and long teeth on display, making you tremble a little.

You still shake your head, embarrassed.

"Hide 'n seek?" He pouts exaggeratedly, long, fluffly ears pinned back on his head. It looked... kinda cute, but you still shook your head a little. "Come on, Lass.... It'll make ya good to move around a wee bit..."

"Don't wanna play..." Your murmur quietly, still pretty much shy around them.

Johnny lets out a little whimper at that, which immediatly startled you a bit at the high pitched sound.

"How about... just a walk around, yeah?" He suggests gently, only to immediatly sit up a bit, getting excited about his own idea. "Oh, yeah, yeah, let's go for a walk, wee pup! That way, you can get to knae the place around the house, aye?"

"If they are going for a walk outside, they need to be properly dressed." Kyle casually remarks as he comes inside the room out of nowhere, clothes in hand. "It's already getting dark, and the temperature is dropping. Price said that it's threatening to snow tomorrow." "Already??" Johnny growls slightly, and that immediatly makes you jump back a little on the nest. "Oh, nae, nae, it's okay, pup, i'm so sorry, wee pup, come 'ere." He changes tones quickly, leaning over you to coo gently as he paws the blanket tangled around you, pulling you closer.

"Unfortunately." Kyle huffs a little, wings shuffling behing his back, getting fluffly. "I though we would have more time."

Johnny hums, frowning as he considers what to do next, his hands holding you to his chest, even as you squirm a little.

"It's probably okay for a human, aye?"

"If they are properly dressed, yes. Come here, chick." You didn't have time to react as Kyle bend down and picked you up on his arms, the blanket still wrapped around you.

Johnny got up too, stretching like a real dog as he watched Kyle gently set you down on the carpet and pat your clothes, straightening the sweater and pants that got rustled after your nap.

"Give me your hand, chick." Kyle smiles easily, gently, grabbing your hand after you hesitantly lifted it. "John got good things, thank god. This gloves and hat feel very warm."

"It has to be, right? Weren't them in a store that caters to humans too?" Johnny kneeled down by you, watching faithfuly as Kyle gently put the thick wool gloves on your little hands.

"Yeah, but you know how it is. They say they cater to these less common races, but in the end it's just a marketing scheme." Kyle roll his eyes slightly, once again dropping out of the gentle persona he usually adopts when near you. "But these are fine, they feel thick and warm, the wool is good quality, the type that will isolate the heat nicely."

Kyle picked up the new thick jacket they got you at the store, quickly helping you into it, zipping it up tight over the sweater. It did feel warm, almost too warm to your already warm room.

"And here's your beanie, Lass!" Johnny smiled big, picking up the wool beanie and using one of his big hands to push your hair back flatly, your eyes squinting at the action as you feel the hat being placed expertly on your head. "Does it feel warm?"

You nod quietly, feeling a bit too wrapped up in your new clothes.

"Good! Let's put on your shoes and go outside, aye?"

It didn't take long for the three of you to be making your way downstairs, immediatly caughting Simon's attention as he frowned.

"You're leaving?" He asks gruffily, posture immediatly changing as he crossed his thick arms over his chest, still frowning.

"Aye, going outside with the lassie to exercise a little!" Johnny quickly smiled, nodding as his tail wagged behind him.

"It's late."

"It's like, 6:30 p.m." Johnny smiles back, rolling his eyes a little.

"It's cold outside."

"They're wrapped up." Kyle adds, smiling a bit too smugly.

Simon squinted his eyes a little more, annoyed, which only made the younger two laugh with a bit too much arrogance.

"Stop going all mama bear, Si, they're gonna be fineeeeeeee~" Johnny laughs, gently nudging you towards the front door.

Simon growls quietly at that, but cuts himself off almost immediatly as they see you weaken your steps.

"I just don't like the idea of having them outside at this hour and at this weather." He replies, voice heavy and low, almost growled out.

"It's not good for them to be cooped up inside all the time." Kyle points out, Johnny quickly nodding to agree with his mate.

Both harpies and werewolves are very active and outdoors' species. Contrary of Wraiths, obviously.

"Let them go, Simon. It's good for the kid to walk a little too." John raises his voice for the others to hear him from the kitchen.

Simon huffs, but his posture relax slightly. He glances at you, that is obediently still by the door, Johnny big presence pressed against your back as he still smiles smugly at Simon.

"Be careful, eyes on them all the time, don't start with your little games yet, this is a little human kid we are talking about." Simon speaks slowly, clearly holding back on a growl as his fingers started to let out small wisps of shadows.

"I knae, Si! What do ya take me for?? 'M nae dimwit!" Johnny huffs, rolling his eyes before he lets out a big grin right after. "I'm not play wrestling this wee baby yet, it's just a little walk!"

"God, I also want to let loose and fly a little..." Kyle huffs a bit, stratching his wings, tho quickly tucking them back when he saw you take a small step away in intimidation. "But I'll let that for later. I'll help John with dinner."

"Be back before dinner." Simon warns Johnny once again, that just throws a mock salute his way and steps out of the house, taking you with him.

"Right, mama bear! We'll be right back!"

"Don't compare myself to the likes of Nikolai." Simon huffs as he turns away from the now closed front door, going to the kitchen to both help the other two with dinner and to watch Johnny and you outside the kitchen window.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Psst, hear me out: The Beast being fucking yanderes with the ancients.

You Get It™️ I mean... Did you guys see episode 6? Burning Simp Cookie is already a yandere lol. He's been there and he refuses to leave. And Shadow Milk is honestly not that far behind, he feels some type of way towards Pure Vanilla and it would be cute if it wasn't so sad and creepy lol

Really though, I just love hero/villain ships in general (always have, since long before Cookie Run ever existed) and I get a kick out of villains acting stupid over crushes (read: obsessions), and acting stupid in general. There's just something about a villain being in love with the hero to a psychotic, comical degree, and the hero rebuffing them at every turn that's just really amusing to me lol. Like what Joker sort of has with Batman, you know?

Here are my Yandere Beasts in bare-bones terms:

Burning Spice: come on, if you've read my stuff, you know EXACTLY what Yandere Spice is like lol. If not, I'll refer you to this and this, as well as my fics on AO3. If those don't tell you what Yandere Spice is like then idk how else to help you lol

Shadow Milk: if the final boss of theater/drama kids had a crush but was also a malignant narcissist of some sort lol. Absolutely DESPERATE for Vanilla's attention at all times. If he's not actively trying to worm into Vanilla's brain and harass him in his thoughts and dreams, he's in the real world brainstorming better ways to do that lol. He does not grasp why the creepy puppet shows and gaslighting attempts aren't convincing Vanilla to fall in love with him. Will attack and torment and insult Vani in one breath and then praise and love and worship him in another, because he's a histrionic clown freak with whirlwind emotions. But above all else, he literally thinks he owns Vani and is meticulously plotting the horrible and hilarious demise of any and all he perceives as a threat to their union

Eternal Sugar: World's Laziest Stalker™️. Almost exclusively haunts Holly in her dreams (I have to assume that that's what her power will entail, as the Beast of Sloth); however, she's more "effective" in her wooing attempts due to her past experience as the Herald of Happiness. She actually goes out of her way to construct dreams and the like that have things in them that make Holly happy (or what she thinks makes Holly happy; she, as well as the others, has big tunnel vision and is very selfish and self-absorbed, and thus pays more lip service to her own wants than those of who she loves/obsesses over). Thankfully doesn't run into Holly in person often because that's work... but sometimes she DOES work up the nerve to go after her for real, and... well

Mystic Flour: Denial, denial, denial. Not just a river in Egypt the Golden Cheese Kingdom, but she'll say and act like otherwise. No, she does not like Dark Cacao. He robbed her of her volition and the chance to enact her will. He prevented her from freeing the world from pain and suffering. He is a stubborn fool who refuses to understand the truth. He... is very handsome. She does not like how handsome he is. It is distracting. She doesn't like dwelling on her memories of him and their encounters. She doesn't like how she came to harbor a single kernel of respect in her heart after he stood his ground against her; a kernel that she inadvertently nurtured and cultivated slowly but surely, until... no. No, she doesn't like Dark Cacao. She doesn't think about him all day. She doesn't want to try to lure him back to her land so she can trap him in the flour fog with her again. She doesn't miss feeling his dark eyes on her. She doesn't deeply resent his attachment to his people, and seek to transfer that attachment to her instead. No, she... damn it, he's ruined her. He's made her feel things again. He's made her succumb to selfishness and greed, to earthly desire and attachment - desire for HIM, attachment to HIM. All of her hard work and enlightenment gone to waste... She doesn't want to like Dark Cacao, she recognizes the folly in such a thing, but she's stuck - and so stuck is she that not only does she not really see a way out, she doesn't WANT one. She's become too content with her attachment to him too quickly. Now she has to agonize over her own foolishness, and try to keep denying that she doesn't care while also longing for his attention and wanting to do away with all that steals his attention away from her

Silent Salt: probably the least awful of the five, but he's still creepy and that's not a high bar to clear anyway lol. Has a better grasp on "normal" behavior than the others (like... he pays attention to what White Lily likes/wants and tries to adjust accordingly), but he's following her around everywhere and acting extremely violent and territorial over her towards anyone who he catches approaching her. He's legitimately, surprisingly sweet and gentle towards her; he brings her flowers, he listens to her when she asks/tells him something, he's more or less respectful of her personal space (he will try to be as physically close to her as possible, but actually backs off a little if she asks him to, only to try again, and so on and so forth)... but he's still a villain, he's still violent and creepy, he still gets angry when she pays attention to other people for too long and he has brought actual harm to others out of jealousy. He's the best of the worst but that really doesn't mean much of anything, he's still a psycho creep like the others

In short, they form a tight-knit coalition of absolutely fucking deranged freakazoids and they should all probably die :)

[r3starttt]

ROOMMATES

PAIRING: ellie x abby

CW: fluff. modern au. hc's.

SUMMARY: Abby and Ellie and the begging of their roommate era <3

DON'T BUY TLOU | PALESTINE MP PALESTINE LINKS | DAILY CLICK

TAGLIST | PERM: @twopeoplee @Kaimythically @greysontheidiot @levilvrr @sapphic-ovaries @girlkisser168 @bilsvlt @tlouloser @marsworlddd @1-800-fantasy @ellieswifee232 @prwttiestbunny @thesevi0lentdelights @lvlymicha @stickycherritart @rob1nbuckl3ys @abbys-muscles @dinakisser @lott6i @imagoddess1

Ellie who was awkwardly checking her phone when she first met Abby. Her fingers nervously tapping random stuff on her notes app, on the calculator, sending desperate messages to anyone just to avoid small talk.

there's this blonde girl I'm probably gonna be roommate with she's massive lol

Abby who would glance at Ellie here and there just to make sure the girl was keeping up with the whole tour and to get any sign that could let her know if she was actually interested in the whole roommate thing.

"The girl that came to see the place is a nerd, she's being all awkward and not talking at all. She's also wearing those black converse everyone likes for no reason."

"abs u listen to classical music to study stfu"

Abby who had to speak to Ellie first and directly ask if she was interested or not. And Ellie who struggled to talk but eventually managed to make the deal with Abby.

"Ellie, right?" the freckled cheeks hadn't been that red in a while. Not that she got scared or anything, she just felt extremely panicked thinking the blonde girl in front of her was about to start small talk- plus, she caught her off guard. "So, what do you think?" Abby crossed her arms, an habit- just there she realized how annoyed she looked. She wasn't, of course, but how could the auburn tell?

Abby, who Inmediatelly put the rules. No eating in the couch unless you have visits, and if so, you clean. No noise after 10 pm and no visits without warning nor after 10 pm either. You wash your dishes, you cook your food. bla bla. bla

"Hey so... uhm" Ellie's hands felt sweaty, her fingers fidgeted with each other as she let herself rest comfortably against the doorframe of Abby's room, who looked attentive.

The blonde's arms and legs crossed as she rested against her chair, seemingly frustrated by some stuff she was working on in her desk. "My... uh, I'm bringing someone? I was wondering- it's Friday, maybe I-"

"Yeah, I dont mind it. Just try to keep it quiet"

Abby who was also the first to break the rules

And there she was, flirting with the girl Ellie had fought so much to gain the smallest attention- "Yeah? is that so? oh... really?" currently one am and whatever stress she'd gathered along the week long forgotten.

Ellie who eventually put her own rules. And who got humbled every time because she didn't really care so Abby was the one reminding her about it.

"Why don't you just take mine?" the auburnette spoke with her mouth full, her phone in one hand and her bowl of cereal in the other as she watched the blonde walk all over the small kitchen.

Abby had been around five minutes trying to find a clean tupper of her own, almost having a crisis because oh she was one long minute late already. "You told me not to touch your stuff"

Abby who's super cool to Ellie's eyes, and Ellie who brags about her very cool roommate who's also very smart and strong and nice and sweet and nerdy and many cute stuff.

"didn't you say you wanted to find other place last week?"

"shut up jesse, she just- she was so annoying that day, okay? we are good now"

"we? bro she doesn't even talk to you"

Abby who made it feel illegal to even walk pass her room if her door was open? she was so strict over privacy matters. And Ellie who couldn't care less, taking any chance she had to glance at the room.

"You don't like star wars? what's with the poster then-" and only there, with Abby's look and the awkward silence, Ellie realized she had just fucked the little chance she had to get along with the blonde.

Abby, who eventually stopped caring so much about privacy matters and rules, it was practically impossible. Ellie was charming in her own way, and Abby wasn't so serious after all.

"The movie was lame" the auburnette spoke with her mouth full of a mix of chocolate and whatever else. Abby’s fingers stopped their track between the blonde locks being unbraided- her face into a frown as she met Ellie’s eyes. "You don't like anything! it's the fifth-" Their voices overlapped, Ellie denying whatever statement the blonde was trying to explain or prove. "You choose the next one and better keep quiet-" and again, shouting and anxious eating from Ellie who couldn't feel more comfortable suddenly.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Harry’s life at the Dursley makes me extra side when I remember he was a baby when he came to them. It makes me wonder when did he start sleeping in the cupboard?

And then I spiral and think about Harry calling Petunia mom when he is three years old. How did she raise him until he became a kid? And I think about him doing art during Mother and Father’s Day for his uncle and his aunt and them throwing it in the bin. Did he try to listen Petunia read a story to Dudley? Did he ever learn how to swim with school and he just never learnt?

And it makes me so, so sad.

It is. Everything about Harry's childhood breaks my heart. I already talked about it here and here.

We actually have a very depressing answer about the swimming lessons bit from GoF:

He wasn’t a very good swimmer; he’d never had much practice. Dudley had had lessons in his youth, but Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, no doubt hoping that Harry would drown one day, hadn’t bothered to give him any.

Which I take to mean he had maybe, like, two or three lessons for swimming at school and that's it.

As for the other stuff, I don't remember direct answers so you're going to hear my headcanons:

1. I think Harry never called Petunia "mom". When he was a baby he still could remember his mother and as he grew up he got used to calling her "Aunt Petunia" so he never called her mom except for maybe one time on accident when he was 3 or 4 which he was screamed at for: "I'm not you're mother, Freak!" and probably also slapped for.

2. I think when he was very very young, like, younger than 2-3 Petunia did put more effort in keeping him alive immediately after her sister's death and with Dumbledore's letter/threat fresh in her mind. But slowly she saw nothing happened and no one came when she treated Harry badly, so it emboldened the Duesleys.

I also think Harry started showing magic at a very young age, like 4-5, and when he did, Petunia and Vernon moved him to the cupboard and their treatment of him worsened even more.

After all, Petunia remembers her childhood with Lily who could do magic, she would recognize it for what it is — and she and Vernone are terrified of it. That's why the moment Harry showed signs of magic I believe they moved him to the cupboard to keep him away from Dudley.

3. The idea you brought up about little Harry making a family drawing of him with the Dursleys and Petunia scrunching her nose before throwing it in the bin in front of Harry's face.... shit, that's so sad and I'm sure it happened. I just imagine baby Harry's face, all proud of his drawing and not fully understanding the Dursleys yet with his cute nose and big green eyes and he would be so disappointed. I don't think he'd cry though. I think by that point he learned Vernon and Petunia don't like him crying.

4. I think the next year he drew himself with how he imagines his parents to be and he hides it from the Dursleys because Harry's a fast learner. I'm sure he spent nights dreaming about who his parents were from the very little information he got out of Petunia.

5. I can definitely see a young Harry crouching near Dudley's bedroom door as Petunia tells him a story. And then when she's done, he'd run away quickly so he won't be caught.

6. As a bit of a continuation of sneaking around to listen to bedtime stories, I think watching television at the Dursleys was similar. We know from canon Harry did use the time the Dursleys were away to watch television or play on Dudley's computer:

“You could just leave me here,” Harry put in hopefully (he’d be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley’s computer) .

(PS)

Though I don't think the Dursleys allowed him to do it, he just got good at sneaking around when they're not there. I'm saying that since Harry mentions Mrs. Figg lets him watch television:

She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she’d had it for several years.

(PS)

So it seems he wasn't usually allowed to watch television or play on Dudley's computer. I think the way Harry watches television when the Dursleys are home is by standing at the doorway and watching without them noticing (that's why he can't pick what to watch). I mean, we kinda see him doing it in OotP when he lays beneath the window to listen to the news on their television without them knowing.

Yeah, Harry's childhood was so depressing and I think the books actually portray him and how his childhood affected him well considering the books were limited in what they were allowed to show. I think the signs of trauma and abuse are clear if you look for them, even if they're not all called out in an obvious manner.

Writing this post just made me super sad now for Harry. My boy deserved so much better.

[astral-circuitry]

i really really liked the lil digital care package idea from @boombox-fuckboy, so here, have some lil recs and goodies from me !!

here is a link to a google drive folder. in there you'll find pdfs of:

Different Seasons by Stephen King, a short story collection feat. Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption as well as The Body and one of my all-time fav Kings

The Book of Lists - Horror by Amy Wallace, Del Howison and Scott Bradley, a collection of recommendations and little fun facts, all to do with the horror genre across different types of media and with contributions of various horror authors, directors, etc

Do Zombies Dream Of Undead Sheep by Timothy Verstynen and Bradley Voytek, a book about the neuroscience of zombie brains; fiction, obviously, but the two authors approach the funny concept with such a genuine, deep appreciation for neuroscience and its implications re: Every Dead/Sick Person We Study Is Somebody's Friend/Family; it's a great and entertaining read

Three Bags Full by Leonie Swann; a sheep detective story in which a flock of sheep investigate the murder of their shepherd

A Brief History of the Countryside in 100 Objects by Sally Coulthard, a non-fiction book about rural Britain explored via one hundred specific objects one can find while driving along the countryside

Life in the Machine, a 2 person mecha ttrpg by KiennaS

adrift in the station revenants, a 2 person mecha ttrpg by Caro Asercion

four ways to die in the future, a very quiet collection of four science fiction ttrpgs about death for no/one/two/three to six players depending on which game by P. H. Lee

games and podcasts:

poki.com - a website full of fun and chill lil mini games, including ones where you can rescue gold fishies by pulling out bars obstructing the way, you know, like in those annoying fake mobile game ads

Moida Mansion, a free horror-ish web game on itch.io

Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast with an insanely long backlog, which will thrill you if you get into it but might be overwhelming, so my rec for something rather short and sweet: start with Bluff City, available here on their website and here on youtube

Zero Hours, a podcast telling different stories about endings, and, more specifically, ends of (the) world(s) at different points throughout time, brought to you by the people behind Wolf 359

while we're at it: Wolf 359, a science fiction podcast about alien life, plant monsters and dysfunctional people, just in case you don't know it yet

Among the Stars and Bones, another science fiction podcast about xenoarcheologists researching alien ruins

I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats, a podcast where Joseph Fink, one of the people behind Welcome to Night Vale, and John Darnielle from tmg talk about art, life, cute animals, and, of course, music

Media Club Plus, a media analysis podcast made by some of the people of Friends at the Table. the first season introduces Jack to HunterxHunter, but there are a few bonus episodes focusing on other anime

last but not least, here is a great site for tv shows and movies, and if you're looking for anime/manga, go here, because the "never ever share your 🏴‍☠️ links!!!!!!" people are Wrong, and also you should download whatever you want whenever you can so you have it Forever

[pyxxiestyxx]

Rosebud

Ryan sighed, leaning against the door to his room. He had been locking himself in here the past few days now, though he knew the weed could easily enter whenever she wanted. Hell, she could probably rip the damn door off its hinges if she needed to. Still, an ounce of comfort was better than nothing.

He slowly slid to the floor, holding Sinna close. The weed had given it to him when he had woken up, a large plush cinnamon roll about a foot and a half in diameter. She had told him that the plush was his to have and hold and name, and he had quickly grown close to the thing. Every time he squeezed it, it released this really nice puff of citrus scent that reminded him of home on Remula, to the point that he had even begun talking to it.

He was definitely a little concerned about his mental state when it started talking back, though.

"Hey Sin, um…am I…am I going to be okay?" He couldn't help but blush a little as he held the plush out, seeing the cute simplistic smiley face on the side of the roll.

"Absolutely, dear! Why, what's wrong?" The voice he pictured was a cute one, very feminine and soothing.

"I…its just…between what happened at class today, and how Luca…how Violet has already accepted her place as a…as a floret…I'm just scared that I'm going to be next, you know? I don't want to be a floret!"

"Awww, but honey bun…you'd make a precious little girl for your Owner!" Ryan blushed at that, shaking his head rapidly but not replying. For some reason, the plush insisted that Ryan was actually a trans woman, like Violet. Which…which was…not what he wanted, nononono definitely not nope nu uh.

"Do you mind if I use that name we talked about, dear? I loved it sooooo much, and it was sooooo cute so see your smile~" He shrugged, looking away and biting his lip, so Sinna continued, "My little Roooooose~"

Rose…Ryan blushed, hiding his face in Sinna at the mention. "ofdgbnokmsfkoghmno."

"Rooooosey poseeeey, its okay. Its okay to be scared. But your Owner loves you lots and lots, and she won't never ever ever let you forget it. Why don't you talk to her a little?" A burst of orange scent around them, and she relaxed…he relaxed?

…she relaxed.

"I…okay. Um…where are you then?" Rose knew who had been talking to her, she wasn't that dumb. But the pretending had helped, in a way. Talking to Sinna the cinnamon roll was a lot easier than talking to Sinaforte the Owner, Second Bloom.

There was a quiet knock on the door, and Rose slid out of the way as the lock clicked open, and the door swung inward. Sin smiled down at her, holding the microphone that let her speak through the plushie.

"Let's chat then, Rosie."

[andeptus]

I NEED MORE DN FIC RECOMENDATIONS PLEASE IM STARVING AND YOUR TASTE IS ELITE

God i love recommending fanfics !!! Here are a few of my favourites, under the cut... Apologies they're all Lawlight.

white chocolate roses by ruruka:

Light is a cardiologist and L is his terminally ill patient... Light being a cardiologist fits him so well as a parallel to who he is in. yk. canon.

incredibly beautiful story with an amazing writing style

it's also so funny at times, i'd catch myself giggling

it's my fav Lawlight fanfic. Ever.

Time Speaks by aSmallMoon333:

the plot is the work of a genius

the writing is amazing and overall it's a really beautiful and well thought out story

one of my favourite Lawlight fanfics too. i've drawn fanart of it + a few doodles here and there, i think it really inspires you...

Nights by youremyqueen:

I actually haven't finished reading this one but i've read other works from the author and they never disappoint me !!

i downloaded this one and have been annotating it, it's amazing

it's my friend's favourite Lawlight fanfic and i value her taste a lot so i know what i'm talking about !!

Fingertips by MasterAlgae:

i'm a sucker for whump sorry. Alway have been and will always be...

I followed it while it was still updating and my day was always better when i would receive that silly little email

i loved loved it. One of my favourite Lawlight fanfics...

Angst pain whump... but oh the fluff is good

it also has a sequel !!

You Don't Need to Say It (I Already Know) by vodka_auntle:

Have i mentioned i'm a big fan of whump because i am...

sickfic... i love sickfics so so much

Especially when my fav blorbo is the one who's sick. Yes. suffer, L. Suffer...

it's so domestic and fluffy and arghh i can't get enough of it. I've reread it so many times, it's such a comfort...

sugar and pumpkin spice:

Ok. listen. I'm not a huge fan of coffee shop AUs, but this one - this one is an exception...

someone sent it to me after i finished white chocolate roses and it was a blessing

it's cute and it can cheer you up and it's comforting and... Yeah !!

Light Yagami dinner party by LycanCoffee:

Very creative and philosophical

very character analysis-esque

i have reread it a ton of times actually. It's really good... very underrated too !!

Sinking down by rosade:

character analysis on L throughout the Kira case

it's canon divergent so not entirely accurate to how the story went, naturally

it's a great read !!

A Sugary Hypothesis by Zara_Zara:

So funny and unserious i loved it

i still think about it. At least weekly...

Thank you for this ask !! I obviously have a ton other fanfics i'd like to recommend but we'd be here the whole day...

[nwarrior777]

Martin, Papers, Fire. And Knife

a little draft I wrote laying in bed as coping mechanism today in the morning. writing my fav character smashing someone to blood pile is therapy

inspired by that 9 minutes animatic of that moment of canon burning statements.

...

- is it really so hard to believe that i hate you as much as others

- no but it's hard to believe that you will act up about it

...

...

- what are you doing martin

- just walking i guess. i can't act up against you right. so what's bad can happen if i will come closer

- *chuckle*

- hard to believe i can act up. huh. why? can you tell me why. it's interesting to hear the reason

- martin you are worthless, pathetic-

- mhm mhm mhm yeah yeah yeah. i asked why. why do you think i am like this

- *chuckle*

- i know the answer i just want to hear it

- oh really

- yeah

- you think you ready to hear it

- oh i am so ready Elias

- phh. okay

- your look. your voice. gestures, behavior. everything. it's everything martin. entire you are the reason

- you such a shithead Elias

- ahah-

- you couldn't even tell this straight.

- i am very fat guy in glasses, quiet mostly, with eye tic, trembling voice, bring tea to coworkers. that's that you mean by "pathetic" right?

- you said it

- and you mean it.

- * slow claps * very cool performance martin. cool. you are so cool martin. now lets finish it

- i didn't get yet to the best part

- enough. i don't have time for your kindergarden theater. and you talk too much today. but this [ burning paper sound ] i don't like it martin. and you will stop doing it right now

- if you didn't notice i am not sitting on table burning anything. i am in front of you. Standing right. In front of you

- good. but i am assuming you will come back to it as soon as i leave the room

- you will not leave this room Elias

- ...oookay. your attempts to whatever you doing bored me. not very exquisite way to shut you down, but, quick one.

*clears throat* [eye sound] your mother-

- [eye sound stops] hates me? oh i know. her eyes told me long before your

- ...

- ...[eye sound] but you don't know why-

- [eye sound stops] i know exactly why. father face. which i have sticked to mine. had. father face we didn't see near by - she - for years, me never, well, at least not enough time to remember his face by myself. and yes, she destroyed photoes. but what do you think, i didn't try to find him? you think i couldn't find images on internet? of course i did, Elias

[ steps closer ]

- of course i did.

what was it Elias? a try to make me not able to look in the mirror? me bursting in tears about it? i did it long time ago yeah. but i went through. I added something. Elias, i *Looove* looking in mirror, now *especially*. This fucker vanished after some pounds on, new haircut and glasses. He also wasn't into dandy poetic fashion, you know. more into dirty all in beer and chips shirt and shorts

so its not. a bother

- .... very cute family story martin but-

....

- *SOUND*

...

- is this cute?

...

- * cough, blood choking *

...

- is this cute Elias? a knife in your guts? going baaaaack

- *blood chocking, try to catch breath* * scream in pain *

- ....and foooorth

- *blood coughing hard choking on blood short breaths in try to catch air interrupted in cought*

- is it? fucking? cute?

( sounds of splashing blood, knife goes in and in and in)

---

- look. LOOK. IN MY EYES

- ---

- actually you know. i don't care what you see in me. i see myself. feel. much more about me, than others will ever tell.

- *blood cough* *unclear voice sound*

- oooh nonono. last word here will be mine

...

(sounds of splashing blood from fast, fast faster going up and in knife smashing meat, bones, skull, going through to the floor)

...

tape cassete click

[katherinakaina]

Speak your truth!! Fanon Clara and fanon Daniil are both really irritating (to me). I always think I just don't like them until I remember that in the game itself they're actually fine. It's just the way a lot of people talk about them that grinds my gears.

To be fair, fanon Artemy is not much better. It’s just that his fanon version is mostly flattering so his fans tend to be less annoyed. But it is similar to Clara in the way that he is nine parts this cute cinnamon bun golden retriever himbo papa bear and only one part covered in blood and a bit dangerous purely for the sexyness factor. Well, in the game it’s more like 3 parts papa bear and 7 parts you wouldn’t actually want this dude anywhere near your children. The ratio is even worse for the first game.

Initially I wanted to say that I don’t understand the point of this character bending. What’s the appeal of these characters if they need to be distorted into something they aren't in order to be compelling? But then I started thinking about my own version of Daniil that is admittedly a bit different from how he’s actually shown in the game. Same as others, I take parts of his characterization that speak to me the most and inflate them, let them take the center stage. For me it’s his immortalism and his rationality (or his pursuit of rationality, as any proper rationalist would correct me). I feel like both aren’t explored nearly enough but are stated as and supposed to be his main defining qualities (huge hope they will actually become such in p3).

So on some level I can empathize with the desire to enhance your favorite character here and there, make them make more sense. It’s just that apparently things that make sense vary drastically from different points of view. For me, sarcastic snarky grinning Clara makes very little sense. She’s a tormented child, what’s she’s so happy about? Golden retriever Artemy or cold blooded killer Daniil go in the same bin. At this point I don't see it as gentle tinkering with the source material but full blown repurposing.

You take a doll from a different game and put it into your own, going mostly from how the doll looks and a short description on the back of the box. You take close to nothing from the previous game, rewriting the character almost completely. And then you go and talk to people who played the previous game and you use the same doll and the same name but your conversation makes no sense. This happens in every fandom, I assume. But considering it’s Pathologic we are talking about it stings just a bit extra. Like those poor souls will never escape their fate. In a way, it’s fitting.

[eldewinddolly]

Oh dear oh dear. So many things. Here's just a lil snippet : > Artemis still wears suits (sorry fowlblue), but more... vintage ones. I want him to acknowledge that everyone sees him as that "creepy ghost of a Victorian child" and go "oh? alright then" and show up at work looking like a full-on scary baby dandy, most notably ditching the tie for a lavallière (pinned down with a golden Celtic fibula, maybe?) and the loafers for leather laced boots. The vibes? Immaculate. > More acknowledgment that the fairies folklore is Artemis long-standing special interest/hyperfixation since early childhood that even his father's disapproval (bUt mAgiC iSn'T ReAl gRoW uP) couldn't shut down. That child is deeply autistic and it seems like a not too obnoxious and cute way to show it. > MORE 👏 ANGELINE 👏 AND 👏 MENTAL 👏 ILLNESS 👏 > MORE 👏 JULIET 👏 ARTEMIS 👏 FRIENDSHIP 👏 SIBLING-LIKE 👏 RIVALRY 👏 BANTER 👏 TOUGH LOVE 👏 Now for the fairies: > Half-goblin Holly for the win !! Already developed a bit of her backstory in a prev post, but so much fun stuff to alter in the books with that concept. She lives in a goblins neighborhood were only the kids like her, all the adults think she's a traitor and a sell-out. At work she's not as much harassed for being a woman, but almost all the officers hiss-hiss-hiss when they walk past her. Book 2 changes massively, because Holly is absolutely torn by the B'wa Kell rebellion, she feels like she should choose sides but doesn't want to. Artemis can bond with her on being branded as a criminal just because of your birth certificate. I repeat : Artemis can bond with her on being branded as a criminal just because of your birth certificate. > Let the fairies be just as judgmental, racist as they are in the books, but let them be called out on it and damn, just explore it. They call themselves pacifists yet they are are run by an all-powerful police-state. It's actually an amazing idea but it's just... left there. Explore it ! Corruption and immorality isn't just a humans' problem ! > Justice for the goblins. Everyone believes they are the stupidest fairy family? Fine. Maybe they are - but does that mean they deserve to be treated like inferior beings, only worthy of mockery and disrespect ? Nope. Also, according to who's standards are they the stupidest fairy family ? There are so many forms of intelligence. Maybe theirs just don't correspond to the golden standards of the elves and centaurs but nobody bothered to try and understand that. > More fairy and supernatural folklore from various cultures incorporated ! Banshees, selkies, onryo, aswangs, changelings... So many possibilities ! And bonus round, if I were to adapt AF to the screen (in an animated series because I do believe this is the way) : > Make it a mockumentary true-crime show, from the fairies' POV. Featuring interviews from all the main cast, video and sound archives (from the LEP ? from the Fowl family ?), reconstitutions... hell, even actual memories extracted from the Fowl gang after TEC. Not very ethical I know, but again - a true-crime show. > Controversial take, but I would majorly revamp dwarves. No more dwarves, they just are not a fairy species. Mulch would stay more or less the same character in terms of personality, but I would change his species from dwarf to troll - a nordic troll, the ones that change to stone when hit by the sun and change back at night. Make them a mineral species, that are literally made of dirt, rock and moss - how does Mulch because a burglar then ? Well, he's made of dirt and sand. He can sip through walls. He can shapeshift, maybe. That idea is still very much a WIP, but even though I know it's iconic, I don't thing a farting dwarf can actually translate from books to cinema. I don't see how it can't be anything else but extremely cringe. Let's stop there for now, but yeah. I have a lot of more or less unhinged ideas :D

Y’know what? I’m curious, and I wanna talk again-

Fellow AF fans, tell me how you would make Artemis Fowl if you were behind the writing wheel. It can be anything from “Juliet features more heavily in the plot” to reframing the LEP and fairies as a whole. I want to know!

I’ll give you mine- I’d make Artemis more interested in magical creatures than tech alone, and I’d have him wear suits less!

[growling]

the way this website treats disabled people is actually horrendous

[pbnmj]

i deserve a spider-woman nepal..... miles doesn't have to be the only teen spider with a terrible bisexual mentor (enter my own sketches of the world's most annoying spiderperson, who i fling towards pavitr, complete with a design that's subject to change)

[bayetea]

I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story

[ziggysarcana]

"You're welcome," he said earnestly "I think you'll find a lot of people here have their own skeleton's, so you won't have to worry about too many curious minds." There were, however, a few nosey people in town much like everywhere, but for the most part people didn't pry into the past. "That's a great idea! You'd make a very cute lumberjack."

"Yes, really!" Ludwig beamed and stood up straight, pretending to bring out the hose of a Proton Pack that wasn't actually there, "Yeah? When I lived in Germany, Dresden was in a Soviet....uh," he trailed off, trying to think of the English equivalent "statehood. So we didn't have anything cool like Ghostbusters or.... any good movies, really. So I enjoy.... stuff like that." He blushed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly "I know that sounds really childish.. but, I do sometimes feel like a kid experiencing things for the first time." It was bittersweet. He now had access to so much media and the rest of the world in general, so it was a great feeling but he could sometimes feel sad for his former self. The little Ludwig inside of him who never got any of these things, like most 'normal' children. "Yes, it is! Very good." He paused, "You're crazy, Brook. You have to watch it!"

Ludwig smiled, a sad and small one as he listened to Brook talk about listening to the fall. "That's very sweet, I'm glad we had so many supporters, even in America. It was really hard times back then." He was lucky enough to at least see it on the television at one of the local bars. He smiled whenever he thought of that memory. Everyone in the packed building cheering in delight, congratulating their favorite German transplant. He thought about how many shots he had been given to him as a celebratory gesture. He groaned, "I had the worst hangover of my life the next day. If they ever decided to put it back up and knock it down again, I don't think I would survive."

He couldn't help but tick his head back as he let out a chuckle. Ludwig wasn't about to admit why it was that he could tell, so he shrugged his shoulders and leaned forward, saying "Ah! It's easy, I'm European. It's like how people from America would be able to tell immediately that someone is from Texas... Or say, New York." He attempted his best New Yorker accent, which he thought was very good, obvious by the smirk on his lips. But, it was not. "Dragoş? That's nice, it suits you. Mine is just my old man's name, nothing special like that. Precious peace." He repeated, quietly. His was the German equivalent of John, almost as basic as he could get. "Have you ever been able to visit? Romania."

So they both had secrets it seemed, and that actually made Brook feel more comfortable. It was like Ludwig's way of telling him that it was okay to keep his secrets, that they didn't need to know everything about each other, especially just after meeting. "Thanks," Brook said gratefully, smiling at the other man. "Well I'm glad you're here because it means we got to meet," Brook added; already he could tell that Ludwig was a good one. Shrugging, Brook pretended to be noncommittal, but already he had ideas of what he could dress as. "I guess I could get a lumberjack costume together pretty quickly," Brook admitted. "All I would need to buy is a fake axe. I probably should use a real one." He laughed as he said this, though obviously it wasn't something he would truly consider. Whatever he had expected Ludwig to say, it wasn't this. "Really?" he asked in surprise. "That's...unexpected, but in a good way. You know, I can see it." And he could: Brook could picture Ludwig dressed as a Ghostbuster, ready to, well, bust some ghosts (Brook had never seen the movie and didn't know exactly how it went). Brook laughed at what Ludwig said, and he retorted, "I beg to differ, Ludwig, because I know of at least one German who is funny." Admittedly Brook didn't think of German people as a whole as being funny, but there were exceptions to every rule of course. "Is a Proton Pack that thing they...uh, suck the ghosts up with?" he wondered. "I've only seen the trailer."

"It really is," Brook agreed, pleased to see how excited Ludwig was. Shaking his head, he answered, "No, I couldn't watch it. I was actually in the OR at the time, though we had the radio playing. Normally we listen to music, but not that day." Brook realized in this moment how much he was going to miss surgery. Sure, he could always go back one day maybe, but that wasn't for certain. It was quite possible that time of his life was over. Surprised, Brook asked, "You can tell that I'm Romanian? How?" He was intrigued, wondering what about him it was that gave it away, not that Brook minded. "My middle name is Dragoş, which is a Romanian name that means 'precious peace.' I like having carrying that part of my culture with me."

[yakny]

"NUNCA APRENDES, PLATITA."