#but it!! still doesnt feel awesome!!
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Boy am I good at alienating myself in my own mind before any confirmation that ppl don't want me around
#idk why big VCs in servers scare me but they do#and then when friends are in there the rsd goes ohh they'd rather hang out in there than with youuu#and i have to hit myself over the head about it#but it!! still doesnt feel awesome!!#and i cant just make myself join in and i never have been able to idk why#its so dumb#im so dumb#im just gonna curl up and cry for a bit
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been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week
#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too#also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it#i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff#but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions#and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones)#i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people)#i would be more inclined to still ID as ace#but anyways!#aro#aromantic#<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote#also#described in alt text#also also#j tag#:/#aro media
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hi! hope you’re having a good day/night. wondering if you had any tip for achieving phosphorescence/fluorescence with colored pencils? i’ve been getting back into drawing after a long art block and wanted to draw some glow in the dark toys but i’ve been struggling to give a good actual green glow on a dark background. thought i’d ask since you’re incredible with colored pencil!
oh prismacolor neon colored pencils are perfect for this, they only have 3 colors (orange, yellow, and pink) but i think this is the closest thing to what ur describing that ive used in my own art





some of these are more subdued than others, i blend the neon color and a regular color (the neon pencils also have harder lead so are good for blending with) it creates this really nice underglow that i cant achieve with the regular colors. the more subtle ones have less of the neon color blended in and the brighter ones have more. the neon colors are really bright and vibrant it surprised me the first time i used one. my scanner does not pick up neon colors tho (idk if all scanners are like that) so I have to photograph the art instead whenever i use neon colors
im sure other brands have neon colors u can do this with (and other mediums too) this is just what i do
#the neon green in the second to last one is just a regular light blue color mixed with neon yellow#they dont actually have a neon green color#prismacolor electric blue is the closest color they have to a neon blue but its not really neon#mixing neon colors with regular colors is awesome i def reccomend trying it#you can use it in art you wouldnt expect to have neon colors you just blend a little in to give it a slight glow#it doesnt read to your eyes like neon it just has an effect where it looks a bit unreal and dreamy almost#it feels a bit like cheating lmao it can enhance a drawing so much so easily its kinda magic#ive tried it with paint before but it was kinda cheap so wasnt the best result but still cool#ill likely buy some better quality neon paint to try this in paintings more#art help
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Sometimes i think about the multiple thousands of hours i spent playing skyrim and regret nothing and im serious
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i aint one for drinking but im missing dsmp like a motherfucker
#like veeeery specifically the like reaal early shit. a handful of my mutuals i gained from my final days in the fandom when i was like 14/15#in like 2021/2022 and primariliy posting tntduo which uuuuh yeah you see why ive been quieter about being an ex dsmper now huh? but like. i#fucking craving that shit man!! thats like the only time i was like IN a community. like immersed in it!!! people knew my name- i STILL#think about during the tntblr elections where i was @'d and accused of running the election blog due to my engagement with the posts but#lack of public opinion [this was back when i was going as t1ddly_w1nks] but like FUCK MAN!! people knew me!! thats awesome!!!#even outside of that it was like my first active fandom that i was actively engaging and posting in. my kinda ass drawings would get like.#50+ likes consistantly on instagram. and on tumblr i was THE shapeshifter wilbur and thermodynamic tntduo guy IT WAS ME!! i made people cry#with my fucking headcannons dawg it RULED!!! im trying to like. draw dsmp art but because i was SUCH wilbur fanartist its like??? difficult#absolutely no shade to anyone still drawing c!wilbur while not supporting the guy himself since like. i wish i could as someone who was#always fighting the good fight w the differnce between c! and CC! but like......... something in me wont let me without feeling bad since.#the part ive always fixated on.... was wilbur centric AND IT DOESNT HELP THAT THE THING SPARKING THIS IS THETOYBOXS' ERROR DSMP AMV CAUSE#FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ITS GOOOOOD anyway. ramble over. who knows. you might see some dsmp scribbles in the coming days. or not. anyway bai.#dsmp#dream smp#dsmpblr#dsmp ramble#mcyt#lmanburg
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I have the brain of a fallow deer i think because when i look at my beloved wrestleboys (or really any incredibly huge buff person) i feel the instinctive response in my brain of holy fuck this guy could eat me. Like i am some sort of prey animal. What's wrong with me. It contributes to the sense of awe when watching the sport but it's also another sign to never ever ever go to real life events lest i bolt in panic and dash in front of a passing Subaru.
#jay talkin#huge doesnt have to mean tall either the guy i am most often thinking abt is nearly 2 inches shorter than me#just buff as shit yknow. but its true u look st ppl like that n yr like holy shit#i rlly havent been around ppl w that kind of physique ever so it kinda awe strikes me n sets off like#the brain firing on so many different weird cylinders#i grew up watching worlds strongest man competitions so its not a NEW sensation i just still think its funny#my little frightened brain goes wow i am looking at an apex predator im gonna get hunted#and i go wow thats so awesome. well anyways i wanna look like him and also fuck him. enjoy that combo of thoughts#i'm like a fallow deer if the deer was fucking faggy as shit and gay for the wolf it glimpsed one time#oh i dont think im making much sense. i feel very woozy the sickness bug got me weird#but yeah yknow sometimes u see giant dudes and u go fucking christ. wow. u are so outside of what everyday ppl around me look like#like i wanna be you i think yr hot i also kind of just wanna compare to u like lemme touch lemme just. see#the difference. yknow. yknow. not even always hornily ok. just curious. but also i feel like u can eat me and thats scary#anyway whatever (runs off embarrased) kyaaaa (trips over own enormous dick and falls into vat of liquid steel)#also no please don't analyse this as 'well its bc yr scared of men' i super am not its not a gender thing#does not apply to my life experiences. i'm scared of deep water and large bouncy castles if theyre enclosed. ok.
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Tangentially related to some of the discussion i posted earlier but quiet literally the first RW Art Month i participated I did it completely on whim like, one day before it started. And I mostly did it because I hadn't drawn a ton of rain world and wanted to draw more. Fandom presence was a lot smaller than and I was one of a handful of artists who did the entire thing. Fast forward and I still do Art Month and I've gotten to work with VC directly. But it was quite literally something I decided to do completely on whim that set the ball rolling, and for something a lil more niche and certainly with a lot more dev/fandom art involvement than most. It's really random how and why you might get noticed more than usual, especially with the "toss it into the search and hope it pays out' mechanism of Socmed
#t.extpost#and im hardly the fanciest art month artist out there so it wasnt even about being a jaw droppingly talented artist or whatever#and while artmonth for rw is still given a huge focus its also a much much bigger thing now with a much bigger number of participants#which is cool! its awesome how many people i saw do most if not all of last art month! and VC is really good about not just repping the#most popular artists or fanciest pieces#but theres So Much More there now and while its great for finding artists its also impossible to get Everyone in there you know?#Although they absolutely try#And this is like. one of the most fanartist involved devs ive ever seen in terms of both celebrating the art their fans make and actively#bringing those fans in to contribute#and its /still/ hard to get going just because thats how Posting is#i used to be more of a hk artist which is both a huge fandom and riddled with stunning artists but theres So Many#and niche fandoms are niche so youre more likely to connect with people but less likely to see a ton of engagement regularly -#probably best example i have for that was being briefly fixated on patapon.#Its just messy to try and find the hack that sets you up#just have fun and jump around and make what you like#get a sense of feeling for your style and some people will stick around for that vs. strictly the subject matter#others will look up the thing you switched too and some wont engage#you cant really control it#so have fun and draw that thing you randomly thought about at 2 am that doesnt match your blog#draw for that forgotten rpg you liked when you were 15 or draw for the 70 player max steam game you played for this week#you never really know what will happen#but its not really worth worrying about what will happen either
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i genuinely cannot describe how much accepting im asexual has helped me feel more confident and comfortable in my preferences and needs and general identity
#but im gonna try anyway!#i never actively put myself in uncomfy situations in my current relationship#but something always felt a bit off#my old friends always kinda. projected sexuality onto me. in a weird and uncomfy way#especially seeing as we were like 13!#im so lucky that my gf is as patient and understanding as she is#it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder since i accepted it and started telling some people#i feel more complete and i dont feel the need to overcompensate or 'correct' my thoughts so i think the 'right' way about intimacy#which. as a very sex positive person who doesnt dislike having sex. was a very weird experience#it also made for some funny conversations. like when i told my gf id never felt sexually attracted to anyone except her#she was so shocked it was very funny#but yeah this is awesome :]#i still feel a bit iffy sometimes because i feel like i should feel differently. but its much easier to shut those thoughts down now#asexual#aspec
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:3c
#omggg its sososoo insane that something i thought was IMPOSSIBLEEE 6months ago is. here. holy shitttt#ive made the occasional vaguepost about it since october and while its possibleeee to know what im talking about i feel like.#thats also just my 'people on the internet know EVERYTHING i ever post anywhere' paranoia etccc sooo i dont thinkkkk#whateberrr it doesnt matter nowwwww#i just wanted to say that :3ccc omggggg YAYYAYYY#having a hobby is so awesomeeee i loove having feelings and being excited!! the rare cases that that happensss#FUCKKK hollylyyy shittt#ill make a proper post once the dailylight is good tomorrow bc i need to properly blog about itttt#^-^ YAYYAYAYY#its so awesome when things work out welll <33#i didnt have to do anyyy tweaking to my cube design and i think it looks awesomeee#i still have to add overhead / side? lights idk ive got another fairystringlights to spare.#PLUS. i should probs still do something with the official photos she came with etcetcccc#=w=bbb#sillyposting#ill post about it proper soon. maybe thursdayyy#but man ive got a lottaaa to dooo thooo.....#tomorrow is no school day but ill be spending it on someones project :3c which i am also SOSOOSOO excited forr omg ^-^#but after that i need to work on my three deadlinesss =3=ppp boooo i dont like schoollll#and i work fri/sat/sun... grumpgrumprgunmrppp#at least i have my darling nowww =w=bb PLUSSS maybe already closer to an addition aswelll omggg#huge things happening. this is so fun.
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hi beautiful ppl on tumblr dot com do u have any advice about navigating life after college when u are soso scared
#im gonna be a lot better off in my post grad life than most. i have a place to live thats awesome and walking distance from a lot of friends#i have hobbies goals a community a happy relationship a job etc etc#but im panicking abt like. idk i hate transitions. ive been a student for like 20 years and now thats ending#i wanna learn stuff still.... with other ppl....#also im not starting a 9 to 5 im still doing food service so a lot of the generic post grad advice kinda doesnt feel applicable
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my friend threw up on me today but its okay cause he took me out side and gave me enrichment. picture unrelated
#suxx#minami#rgg#is a vomit tag required when its offscreen vomiting#definitely further warning for this imminent tag rant#ive been having a grossout return lately after it getting dormant in my head and have been thinking bout drawing similar goofy#weird offputting etc shit. incl gore and stuff. but my brain has a weird incongruence with whats “okay” to post anymore. thx hlvrai fandom#and its especially thus w spew bc my main is named after a time i was so sick i upchucked bile#because. because when i made the account my fixation at the time. was a shockrock band. which id draw and post often. so i felt like i had#to have something authentically GROSS!#and now i feel like i cant draw anything puke bc ppl r gna think im an emeto guy#if u like emeto idc im just chronically frustrated about ppl misinterpreting me andthen if i try and correct them its all Suuurree buddy 🤐#anyways we went to the carni show today it was fun we went on a lot of rides. he puked on the teacups of all things#i would have used my awesome epic catlike flinching skills to get myself out of his trajectory but the man who sat us in the cups was rlly#nice and rlly clear that we were NOT to get out of the cups if he doesnt come get us#so i jumped and sat on the rim of it instead (still in the splashzone)#i dont hold any of this against him btw i had fun today. i dont think im capable of giving AF
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pesterquest karkats route is fucking insane by the way. i got the bad ending first and THEN the so called good ending was so fucking undwrwhelming after that i just had to sit there
#your best friend confessed his feelings for you to get you to stay#but you refuse to endanger him and let him help and now he doesnt even know if youre ALIVE#not to mention you didnt even fuckign acknowledge his confession of the feelings you both have been dancing around#your entire friendship#so you just left him like that#vs#oh boy lets send karkat to a different planet to the house that specifically has one of the worst guardians so we can play video games#like#😭#im sorry but qhat#even with the davekat BRO STILL EXISTS THAT IS STILL A CONCERN#what about i dont know john with his awesome dad the only solid parental figure in the group#or I DONT KNOW jADE who literally JUST HAD HER ROUTE and it was all about being lonely#even rose like mom is hardly there at least rose would ve able to find somewhere to hide him#dave?????? his tiny ass room constantly recording cameras everyqhere AND BRO
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lamenting over us never getting to see ashley as anything more than a romantic figure in SIMON'S life, which is of no fault or malice of his own. she was a colleague he had a crush on and there's something beautiful about that crush lasting some hundred odd years through the brain scan debacle that ensues. but there's also something tragic in us never getting to know her outside of that.
AKA i'm replaying the game for the umpteenth time and feeling sad that the only times we see her are in simon's initial nightmare of the car crash and in the coral mind dream when there was so much more to ashley's personhood than what we're shown 🥲🥲🥲
this also isn't meant as a diss to the storytelling bc i think its quite intentional this is what they did with her but it still makes me sad. the remnants of what is left of people is a big theme of the game and what is left of this girl who had a full life of her own cut short being relegated to simon's sweetheart is both incredibly moving and heartbreaking for different reasons 🤧
#soma#frictional games#simon jarrett#ashley hall#i hope this doesnt come across as me bashing the game or simon#i am just a little drunk and feeling sad we didnt get more of ashley who if we're to take simon's word and affection#was a pretty damn awesome person 🤧🤧🤧#which i know IS kind of her point but still#wah 🤧🤧🤧
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"lesbian" can mean whatever you want it to mean
#sol.txt#lol so ive been thinking after talking with my new partner#shes genderfluid! sometimes a guy sometimes a girl right#and it really made me redefine why i consider myself a lesbian#if im with someone who isnt always a girl#i think lesbianism (like most queer labels) is a lot more about a feeling than a strict definition#same reason i call myself a lesbian despite being technically a trans boy#the label speaks to me! i feel like one!#im still a lesbian im still a guy that doesnt go away with who im dating#i think thats awesome#queerness is so beautiful#anyway hi nat if youre reading this ily
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I AGREE its so crazy how zap gags weren't a thing.... like TTCC really popped off with that one! i understand TTR is moreso sticking closer to the way TTO was but WOW zap just feels so natural with a REALLY good mechanic that uses strategy in using squirt and its just so good.... also my favorite track
YEEEPP!! That's how I feel about it. Squirt and zap just mix well together. I also think the addition of an 8th gag track was also a good move, allowing for a nice rotation of combinations (like how lure-trap and throw-drop are together as a combo). And also its a nice even number. I also think it helps utilize squirt, idk just feels good to do in general. Of course, I don't really have anything to compare this to and it's just me speaking as a player of (currently) one server, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
It's my favorite too, zap warriors UNITE!!
#clemask#clemramble#this is also not me hating on tt r either#actually i probably dont have to space that out because this is going to appear in word search anyways but still#i know sometimes there's a little bit of competition (is that what youd call it)? between the two servers. i want it to be stated that#i do not care about server comp. play what you want. who cares. i think both servers have their pros and cons and finding value in what YOU#like is more important than which one is the “”best“”. I think TR does an amazing job of taking TTO and transforming it into something more#while also staying true to the original game. i love the fact it brings some of the old concepts that were originally scrapped or lost#i also like the toon events that they have. like there was the halloween one and if i believe correctly it had a parade in it?#SUPPPERR COOL. i shouldve atleast played a little during that time just to experience it. but to be fair during the school year my#playing in general is toned down a lot. im sure everyone reading this knows how it is#and obviously i like ttcc. it has mac and winn. i mean what who said that.theres a ghost in here....#and i can understand why people like or dont like each server. they all have pros and cons. but to me its like the two cakes image#sorry i felt the need to clarify bc i know im kindof exclusively a ttcc guy and me going 'ummmm well tt r doesnt have zap' might sound#like im hashtag hating but im not. tt r is awesome ok. i need to try it out one day.#i just really like zap as a gag. like anon stated i think it just really feels natural to the game#that water electric combo does wonders
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hold the phone guys i've just been informed that in the manga light's death is even MORE pathetic. this is fucking awesome oh i cant wait
#instead of his sort of regal collapse on the staircase bathed in light like in the anime#apparently his final moments in the MANGA are just him pathetically begging ryuk not to write his name down#oohhohohohhoho i cant fucking wait to get to that#thats awesome. i like that.#i will always like the anime's ending tho. that final sequence is. mwah.#its soooooo good. objectively its better than light deserved and i feel like the manga version definitely is more of a fitting end to him#but also. idk. the final scene of the anime is a really good sendoff to his character. like it doesnt feel like you're supposed to feel bad#for him. it feels more like a breath of relief. its all over. he's dying#there definitely is emotion there. and i dont think its something to reject but just. realistic.#you dont have to be sad light is dying (i sure wasnt) but i still respected the emotion of his sad eyes as he died and stuff#he sucked and this is better than he deserved. but i can still respect the emotion of a dying man#i think my opinion will be. i like both endings in a sort of coexistence. obviously only one could actually happen but#in my mind they both happen simultaneously. his demise is both pathetic and beautiful.#<- like light himselwho said that#anyway. am i making any sense. who cares RAHHHHHH#serena.txt#death note posting
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