#but is anything reasonable with this many languages? probably not

[lucagray813]

Shadow - Chapter 5

Title: Getting Close

Rating: M (M rated sections are marked with the line break --M-- at the start so skip to the next normal line break (----) if you want to avoid them)

Word Count: ~10,000

Characters: Wukong, Macaque

Minor Characters: Mentioned Lady Bone Demon, Bǎi Hé

Relationships: Macaque/Wukong

Minor Relationships: Macaque & Bǎi Hé

Summary: Discussions about sex and sex-related shenanigans abound as well as some heavier talks about the Lady Bone Demon and the fact Bǎi Hé is growing up.

Additional Tags: Developing Relationship, Acquired Disability, Slice of Life, DBK is called Niú, PIF is called Gōngzhǔ

CW: sexual humour, impotence, sex talk, mentions of casual sex, morning wood, inappropriate artefacts?

Link to AO3 Version

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----

Wukong was having a bad day. He'd slept poorly, had woken up in a terrible mood and now nothing seemed to be able to make it better. It definitely wasn't helped by Macaque raising an eyebrow at his "grouchiness" and deciding he'd rather be literally anywhere else than here and getting snapped at over nothing.

And you know, tomorrow when he was no longer feeling so irritable, he'd think that was totally fair. God knows, how many times he'd avoided Macaque or outright told him to go somewhere else because he was in a bad mood. Today, however, it only annoyed him further.

By the time Macaque had returned he had at least gained some awareness of his mood and was a tiny bit better prepared to try and not take it out on someone who really hadn't done anything to deserve it but he knew he didn't have much patience at his disposal today.

Macaque had come back in an odd mood himself, he seemed on edge and when asked about it, he'd replied shortly, saying he'd helped MK out with some hero stuff. Hero stuff that went fine by the sounds of it - bad guy was beat and no notable injuries or collateral damage. He pressed further but all Macaque would tell him was this bad guy of the week had just rubbed him the wrong way.

He wouldn't tell him what the guy had been up to or who he was but everything about Macaque's body language was screaming at him to drop it and huffily he did. Even refrained from making some snippy comment about how much he loved Macaque's habit of keeping him guessing for no good reason.

Whatever. He just needed to get through the day and then they could start a fresh tomorrow. After sitting on it for a while, he realised he probably hadn't exactly been giving off "non-judgemental, you can talk to me" vibes.

But it wasn't at all helped by Macaque flip flopping between seemingly wanting to be as close to him as possible and as far away as possible - with an in between that just seemed to consist of glaring at him from a short distance.

It was during the most recent glaring session that he finally snapped, "What is your problem? You're either clinging to me, nowhere to be seen or glaring at me! What is going on?"

Predictably, Macaque just crossed his arms and looked away from him. A little less predictably, he muttered an apology and disappeared into the shadows.

"Macaque! Wait-! Agh!"

He did not have the patience or tact needed for this today. Why couldn't this have happened yesterday or tomorrow? Or literally any of the hundreds of other days that he wasn't feeling so short tempered.

Macaque did not reappear and Wukong could do nothing but sulk about it. It didn't compare to how awful he felt though when he received a message from MK asking how Macaque was because apparently everyone had been a bit shaken up from hero business today.

And it wasn't at all surprising since the bad guy's whole deal had been death magic.

He buried his face in his hands. Of all the days, of all the bad guys... He took a deep breath before he picked up his phone and told MK that Macaque was a bit on edge but he would be alright before asking after the rest of them. Once he'd heard back that they were all okay and having a slumber party later he let any thoughts of MK leave his mind.

He hoped Macaque was still on the island and not somewhere he couldn't physically reach. He slid off the couch and took up his preferred meditation pose. He'd tried more than once today to meditate to get his head on straight but each failed attempt only added to his frustration.

Right now though, he had ample motivation and finding Macaque like this was almost something he could do in his sleep. He kept his focus light, he just wanted to know if he was still on the island, he wasn't planning to astral project if he was. He sighed in relief when he felt Macaque's soul nearby.

He didn't immediately get up and go to him however. He was going to take a moment and then approach him with compassion and patience. However he'd been feeling today would have to just deal with being moved to one side. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed was not comparable to facing literal trauma.

He couldn't say he was a big fan of the small, dark cave that Macaque had squirreled himself away in. The only reason he could vaguely even see at all without his golden vision was because of the violet glow being emitted from the ball of magic that Macaque held close to his chest.

Not something he'd ever seen him do before but he decided to take it as a positive sign that Macaque was letting him see it now. He could have disappeared the moment he'd heard Wukong's footsteps head in his direction.

He carefully picked his way across the uneven ground, before stopping a short distance away and cautiously starting off, "MK got in touch - wanted to know how you were after this morning. He told me what happened... You want to talk about it?"

The silence that followed was more than a little concerning, so he took a few steps closer, "Macaque?" He was brought to a halt by the dangerous looking shadows taking physical form around them. He backed off slightly and that seemed to appease the shadows.

Macaque hadn't left or forced him out though and Wukong decided to take as a sign his presence wasn't actually unwanted, so he sat down and waited. He was trying to figure out his next course of action when Macaque spoke, "Do you remember anything about being possessed by the Lady Bone Demon?"

Unfortunately, despite his many attempts to repress it, he could in fact remember most of it. Some of the fighting was a bit hazy but the desperate struggle to try and rid himself of her control was much clearer than he'd like.

Reluctantly he offered, "Some of it, yeah."

"Do you remember how it felt? To have her magic inside you?"

A shiver went through him as if he could suddenly feel that unfathomable cold coming from deep within him. It was quite possibly up there as one of his worst experiences - even without the whole being forced to fight his friends nightmare - just that feeling of being both too full, and yet achingly empty. Of having someone strangle his very essence with their own. It was enough to keep him up for nights at a time.

Quietly he admitted, "Yeah, I remember."

"Describe it?"

It felt like an impossible ask. They'd already established that magic didn't like to be put into words. And honestly, he'd rather do anything but make the experience all the more real but he was sure Macaque was going somewhere with this, and would hopefully share his own experiences if he did the same.

He clasped a hand over his heart as he tried to find the words, "It was like... a constricting weight on my magic, wrapped around it tightly with these smaller poisonous tendrils slowly trying to force themselves towards my very core. It was... awful. Violating."

Way, way back in the day magic had often been described as the blood of the soul. And Wukong couldn't help but feel there was some credence to that theory - the Lady Bone Demon's attempt to control him had felt like an attack on his very spirit. Although given the source of her magic perhaps it had been.

Macaque pulled the small manifestation of his magic away from him just enough to look at it. Even if Wukong had had a clear enough view of his face he had a feeling he still wouldn't be able to interpret the complicated expression he was wearing.

Macaque admitted, "Sometimes, I can still feel her magic stitched into mine." He continued before Wukong could offer any reassurances, "I know it's in my head." He held up the ball of magic as if to show him, "I know there's no trace of her left in me but after that run in with that bastard today I just can't shake the feeling that there is."

Wukong had obviously seen the terrible way her magic had engulfed Macaque's right side, had felt the scarring it had left in it's wake but he didn't think that's what he meant, quietly he asked, "Describe it?"

The ball of magic separated into two, one taking on a much deeper colour than the other, they started to move around one another leaving tangled trails behind them - like snakes intertwining themselves with one another.

It was almost beautiful, almost as if they were dancing, but as he watched it became clear that the lighter of the two orbs was following the other, occasionally looping possessively around the tail the darker one was leaving.

Macaque lifted a finger out to touch the darker orb and the lighter one spiked up, aggressively forcing the other to move away from the appendage. He dropped his hand and watched the orbs continue to move as he explained, "I could always feel it, this cold, dead magic running through me. It was only painful if I tried anything to get rid of it but even when it wasn't actively hurting me... It just felt wrong."

He paused for a minute before continuing sounding a little distraught, "It didn't matter where I went or what I did, she was always there with me, burrowed into the very essence of who I am. I hadn't known a moment's peace until she was finally fucking dead."

The cave went totally dark as he buried his head against his knees, "But it's still not enough. She's dead but she's still here with me. I just want her gone. How do I make her leave me alone? How do I make her stop?"

He was powerless to ignore the need to get closer and comfort him but as soon as he stood and took a step forward, he heard a panicked scramble. He stopped as he heard Macaque choke out, "D-don't! Fuck. Please, just- Don't come closer."

He very reluctantly sat back down and tried to make sure none of his own distress was audible as he replied, "Hey, it's fine. I won't come any closer. You're ok."

He couldn't resist the urge to use his golden vision to check on him however. Another time he likely would have been impressed by the strength of Macaque's glamours, all he could see was that there were definitely glamours there but not what they were hiding. Although with the way Macaque was hunched over he likely wouldn't have been able to see anything he wasn't allowed to see yet.

Voice muffled Macaque got out, "Shit. Sorry."

"Hey, we're fine." He tried to joke lightly, "I get it. The mood I've been in today, I wouldn't want to be near me either."

His poor attempt at a smile quickly fell at the sound of a small sniffle. He floundered for the words that would somehow make this better but Macaque spoke before he found them, "Sometimes, I think about how you overcame her control and think you could do the same for me. Just chase out all trace of her. But the thought of anyone's magic, even yours, getting close enough to do that... I just can't..."

Wukong felt his shoulders sink. Well, that went some way to explain Macaque's inconsistent behaviour today. It also explained another mystery that he'd been trying to solve.

Wukong was on board and up-to-date with Macaque's research into magic but there had been a surprising lack of experimentation into how their magic interacted together, they only tended to focus on how their magic reacted to various stimuli, even though he'd made it plenty clear he was willing and able to try out pretty much anything Macaque suggested. Well, within reason anyway.

He was really trying to follow Macaque's lead on this - let him decide how this should progress but he couldn't deny he'd been tempted to try and push him. But he was beginning to understand why Macaque had been so reluctant.

Magic could be combined in incredible ways, such as in show stopping feats that required a hefty amount of magic or to cast spells that needed mastery of more than one magic type. Magic could complement someone else's - just being in sync with someone whose magic you knew well could have both of you performing better, magic flowing smoother, spells easier to cast.

And he knew in theory that magic could combine on a much more personal level. He'd heard of ancient demon clans that shared magic with one another through various means. Personally, he'd never really experienced it but he had somewhat assumed that that's what Macaque meant when he'd told him he had wanted to know how their magic could interact.

He thought feeling his magic intertwined with Macaque's sounded like it could be something wonderful. It wouldn't be at all like the awful feeling of the Lady Bone Demon trying to control him and make his magic her own. It would be a new way to know each other. It would be good, he was sure of it.

Scarily deep and personal but well that's sort of what he aspired to have with Macaque anyway.

He took a breath and tried to soothe him, "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to. On a better day we can talk more about it but right now all you need to focus on is the fact that the only magic flowing through you is yours."

He started talking him through a sort of basic meditation with the focus being on the way his magic felt. It was something Macaque could do in his sleep, and had quite possibly been doing something similar when he'd found him. In any other situation, Macaque probably would have been more than a little offended by the notion he needed guidance for something so trivial but as it was he seemed to be following along.

He kept talking long after he'd run out of things to say, repeating and reiterating the practice until he felt solid shadows wrap around his hand. He squeezed them gently, confident the gesture wouldn't be lost on Macaque. He asked, "You ready to get out of here?"

With less levity than he was sure was intended, Macaque responded, "The dark getting to you?"

Wukong shook his head, and lifted the shadows still holding onto his hand up to his lips for a moment, "We can stay here as long as you need."

He heard him take a measured breath before Macaque stood and made his way to stand in front of him and offered a hand, voice only sounding slightly unsteady, he responded, "Nah, it's close to dinner time. C'mon, let's go home."

Wukong took his hand and followed Macaque out of the cave. He blinked his golden vision away as his eyes tried to adjust to the late evening light. Macaque squeezed his hand once and then let go.

For the rest of the evening, Wukong had taken the tact to let Macaque do as he pleased when it came to space and touch without commenting or reciprocating. If he wanted to sit close to him for only a handful of minutes before retreating only to repeat the process moments later then Wukong let him without complaint.

It seemed to have been the right strategy as over the next few hours he seemed to settle, until he was curled up against his chest as they watched TV.

Macaque had looked somewhat guilty when it came time for bed but Wukong refused to make a big deal about him obviously wanting to sleep by himself. He just got ready as he normally did but he did appreciate the gentle kiss he got before Macaque wished him good night and left him to it.

----

It had taken Macaque a few days to properly bounce back from his unfortunate run in with death magic but almost immediately following it he'd quite determinedly told Wukong that they should work on casting spells together.

And then he'd dragged him off to the training ground he'd prepared before Wukong could offer any protests. Once he saw what Macaque had in mind however he was more or less on board.

The ground was covered in various seals that required two people to activate them. It technically involved their magic interacting together but it would all happen within the seal and depending on the seal it might not even require them to really synchronise beyond activating the right amount of magic at the same time.

It was by and large a very sensible first step and honestly, Wukong was pretty excited to see what spells Macaque had put together. Although, he decided a little wariness was warranted - he absolutely did not trust Macaque not to try and prank him in the process. For all he knew there was a seal here that would explode magic paint everywhere and only Macaque would know to take cover.

Explosions of all sorts had definitely been on the agenda and Wukong was definitely going to tease Macaque later for including so many firework-like displays. The big sap had clearly done it because he knew Wukong would love it.

And he definitely had. In fact, the whole exercise had been a lot of fun and he was sort of excited to put his own seals together for them to try. He could easily see this becoming a competition to see who could put together the most surprising or spectacular spell and he was here for it.

In his excitement however he had let his guard down and as they approached the last seal, any thoughts of foul play had totally left his head. He blinked in confusion as the seal seemed to do nothing when activated.

He looked over to see Macaque looking equally confused and couldn't help but tease, "You losing your touch, Mac? Better be careful or I'll snatch up your title as the resident seals expert."

Macaque scowled at him, and waved at the ink of the ground, "You think you know so much? Why don't you look at it and see what went wrong then?"

He grinned as he crouched down so he could get a proper look, "Don't worry. I've heard performance issues are common with monkeys your age."

He heard a snort from behind him, "You would know."

He didn't retort as he started looking at the seal in earnest and what he was seeing was absolutely nonsense, "Were you drunk when you did this? What even is any of this?"

That's what he had intended to say at least, he was interrupted by the boot in between his shoulder blades pushing him off balance and sending him tumbling through the shadow portal that had suddenly appeared on the ground.

Between crouching on solid ground and landing face first in the weird pond that turned everything that touched it green, he only had time to curse himself for falling for such an obvious ruse. Unbelievable. He was the King of pranks and tricks and he'd fallen for that? He didn't deserve his metaphorical crown.

He emerged from the water to an audience of hysterically laughing monkeys but his eyes were only for the smirking jerk standing well back from the splash zone. He was going to wipe that look of his face, he swore Macaque was going to be stuck being green with him for the days it took to wear off.

Macaque just grinned widely before he darted off and Wukong was out of the water faster than a blink of an eye. Trying not to take too much delight in the chase, lest he forget about his retribution.

--M--

Waking up with Macaque in his arms was undoubtedly his favourite way to start the day. Despite the number of times they had shared a bed, it was incredibly rare to wake up to one of them holding the other. He tended to toss and turn too much and Macaque generally tucked himself into a ball and didn't move at all, so rarely did the stars a line to allow it.

But today was apparently one of those blessed days and he intended to savour it for as long as he could. It was only as he nosed at the back of Macaque's neck and pulled him closer to his front that he became aware of an unexpected addition to this usually soft and precious moment.

Wukong was not one to be afflicted with morning wood often but he wasn't immune. He thought he could be forgiven however for reacting to Macaque's backside pressed up against him. He was quite happy to ignore it though in favour of dozing with Macaque bundled up in his arms, it certainly wasn't detracting from the experience.

Well, his experience, at least. Macaque didn't seem appreciative of the unexpected addition as he mumbled, "Wukong, if your dick doesn't stop poking me in the ass I promise you'll regret it."

He grumbled back, "As if you can feel it." But he did reach down between them and adjust himself. He couldn't help but pout slightly, he had been exceptionally comfortable, "Happy?"

Macaque absentmindedly grunted his assent, apparently more concerned with trying to go back to sleep than engaging with him any further. Instead of doing the same however he found himself idly playing with the fur on Macaque's hip as his mind wandered.

Sex probably wasn't on the table for their relationship, right? Not that that was a problem, Wukong had never really been that fussed about it in the first place, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't something he would've never have been interested in trying with Macaque.

Well, trying it properly, at least. Because he and Macaque had actually had sex before - a handful of times a long, long, long time ago - but it was less the tender, loving thing he now was aware it could be and more... well, more like monkeys going at it in the woods.

And as one might imagine it was an activity that generally only benefited one of them and there were no prizes for guessing who. Although, he was sure if Macaque had ever asked it would never have been an issue to change things up but he generally seemed pretty unbothered by the whole thing.

In fact, he could vaguely remember him just rolling his eyes before obliging Wukong's requests. Or... not obliging him if he wasn't in the mood to deal with him. Wukong was no brute, he knew how to take no for an answer, but that didn't mean he hadn't been incredibly annoying about it, and as such, depending on how bad a mood Macaque had been in, he had on occasion found himself dumped in a cold lake somewhere in the world.

So sex hadn't happened often and that had been totally fine but he couldn't help but feel somewhat annoyed at his younger self for being so... monkey about it when it did happen. It could have been something really special, something that brought them closer together. Instead it had been about scratching an itch with the only available demon for miles around.

One more regret to add to the list.

He couldn't help but imagine what it could have been like though - for both of them to get something out of the experience, for both of them to care as much, if not more, about the other's pleasure as their own.

He had no real experience to pull from but a fantasy built upon the familiar was starting to take shape - making out was something they did on occasion and in his mind he could see how hands and lips started to wander. His little daydream however was rudely cut off before it could really get going by a deliberate elbow shoved into his stomach.

He groaned, "What the hell was that for?"

Macaque scoffed as he looked over his shoulder, "Because it turns out blood isn't the only thing that rushes south. Getting a bit excited, were we?"

It took him a moment to understand what he was implying but when it clicked his face was set ablaze, and he suddenly found it difficult to look Macaque in the eye, "You could feel...?"

Unfortunately, his embarrassment was something that Macaque absolutely lapped up and he turned to face him with a delighted grin, "Sure could. You want me to try and describe what it felt like?"

Despite his mortification, he was in fact very interested in the answer, but he in no way wanted to let on how uncool he was feeling about getting caught fantasising. So not trusting his voice he shrugged as nonchalantly as possible.

And he was absolutely not affected by the way Macaque twirled the fur on his hips around his finger as he teased, "What's the matter, Wukong? Cat got your tongue?"

He coughed awkwardly, "No... I just... Er, tell me what it felt like?"

"Tell you what what felt like?"

"Macaque!"

"What? Just tell me what you want. Who knows? Maybe I'll even give it to you."

His suggestive tone left his mouth dry and his mind in the gutters. He bit his tongue before he could say anything foolish. There was no way. This was a trap. It had to be. That coy grin was full of mischief. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't be turned against him somehow.

He bowed his head in defeat, "Just... Tell me what it felt like when I was... Y'know... Turned on."

He wanted to cringe. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't be so embarrassed, he was basically just handing Macaque the upper hand on a silver platter, but this atmosphere that Macaque had created was keeping him off kilter. He felt out of his depth.

Macaque's hand slid from his hip up to his cheek and directed his gaze back up. His amusement was clear to see and Wukong was really hating how none of this seemed to be turning him off at all.

Macaque leaned in a little closer, "What were you thinking about that had you so "turned on", hm?"

Against his will, his eyes flicked down to Macaque's lips briefly and he hoped against hope Macaque somehow wasn't able to "see" that. He heroically tried to gain some control of the situation, "Wh-What does it matter? You some sort of pervert?"

Macaque laughed, "Me? Who's the one so obviously excited right now?" Despite knowing the answer, he still glanced down between them for some reason, and unfortunately he was indeed the only one with any incriminating evidence against him.

Macaque slowly dragged his hand down from his face to his chest, at Wukong's audible swallow, he continued, "But it matters because I want to know exactly what is causing the magic pooling around your balls to feel so hot and heavy. You know I like to be thorough when your magic is involved."

As his hand slipped lower and lower, Wukong's thoughts had been reduced to something along the lines of Holy Shit! Holy Shit! What do I do? Is he really going to-? What do I do?

At the last possible moment, Macaque pulled his hand away with joyous laughter, "You should see your face! Oh, wait, maybe I can recreate it with the shadows for you. Hold on-"

He was cut off as Wukong brought a hand to the back of his head and surged forward to kiss him. Macaque managed a small sound of surprise, and half a second to laugh before he reciprocated, trying to keep up with Wukong's desperation.

God, he was the worst. He hated him so much. Stupid, mouthy jerk with his stupid, sexy teasing. He was going to kiss him until he looked as debauched as he felt.

He brought his hand down to Macaque's hip and dragged him closer but he wasn't so lost in the haze of lust not to feel how tense Macaque became in response. He pulled away with the intent to check on him but Macaque pulled him back in with a hand in his hair before he could utter a word.

Given the enthusiasm of the kissing he was less inclined to believe something was amiss and more inclined to believe that Macaque was perhaps a little less cool and collected than he'd let on. And maybe it was possible he was the teeniest bit nervous about this and didn't want Wukong to call him out on it.

He resisted the urge to grin as he thought about how he could possibly get his own back for earlier and give Macaque a taste of his own medicine. So fully intending not to follow through, he let his hands trail down Macaque's hip and towards his dick. He was not at all expecting the near bruising grip on his wrist before he even got close though.

He pulled back from the kiss immediately and gently removed his hand from Macaque's hold so he could safely place it on his arm, Macaque wouldn't look at him and Wukong started to ramble, "I wasn't planning to... I mean, I just wanted to... I'm sorry? I didn't... Are you ok?"

Macaque bit out, "Fine." Before grumbling, "Stupid. I shouldn't have..." He turned on his side and faced away from him, "My fault. Sorry."

Wukong was trying to recover from the whiplash this situation had given him but he tentatively laid his hand back on Macaque's arm, "It's ok. I... What just happened? Can you... talk me through it?"

He didn't think he'd done anything wrong but something had certainly happened to upset Macaque. He really, really didn't want this to be one of the times that he left him guessing for any length of time. But he was reassured after a long pause when Macaque reached up and laid his hand on top of his.

Wukong couldn't quite stop the quiet sigh of relief and he took that as a go ahead to plaster himself to Macaque's back - finding he really needed the comfort of touching him. He waited as Macaque pulled his hand down from his arm and held it against his chest, certain he was just trying to find the right words.

"I can't feel things, Wukong."

He frowned against the back of his neck. Macaque could feel things. It wasn't how he felt them but between his shadows and his magic, Wukong was pretty sure in some instances he could actually "feel" more than he could.

But he tried to figure out what Macaque was really trying to say here as he quietly waited for him to elaborate. Which he did with a frustrated sound, "I can't- You touching me isn't going to make anything happen."

Still confused, he tried, "You can feel through your magic though...? How is it different from how we normally make out?"

Obviously, he knew kissing and sex were not the same but from a "feeling through magic" perspective surely the same rules applied - if anything Wukong would have thought it would be even more intense.

"For fuck's sake. I can't get it up, you fucking moron."

Oh.

In hindsight maybe it could have been possible for him to have come to the conclusion himself slightly sooner but it wasn't that obvious and he really didn't appreciate being snapped at.

Macaque seemed to realise that though and with his other hand covering his face he apologised, "Fuck. Sorry. Sensitive subject." He laughed bitterly, "Or not-so sensitive."

He tried to soothe him, "It's ok. It's really not that big a deal."

Macaque seemed to sag in defeat, "In the grand scheme of things? No. But it would have been nice."

Well, he couldn't really deny that but before today the thought hadn't really even crossed his mind so while it was admittedly a little disappointing it was something he'd get over quickly. He was more concerned with how Macaque felt about the whole thing.

He held him tightly, "It might have been but everything we already have is plenty nice. And just so we're absolutely, a hundred percent clear I am in no way upset about this. I mean, I'm upset if you're upset but I promise sex hadn't even crossed my mind before."

Macaque managed a weak laugh, "Yeah, I'm well aware."

He pretended to pout, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Pretty sure there are mushrooms with a higher sex drive than you. You thought about having sex all of maybe ten times before giving it up for good."

Wukong wanted to say he was exaggerating but he probably wasn't actually that far off. Maybe once or twice a century the urge would suddenly hit him but that still seemed to have been more interest than Macaque had ever shown. He wasn't quite sure if it was appropriate to point that out right now though.

A little lamely he said, "Yeah, well, at least you know I'm telling the truth. Are you upset about it though?"

He was quiet for a minute before admitting, "Yeah, I am a bit but I'll get over it." He then laughed slightly, "I'm more upset about how quickly teasing you came back to bite me though. That felt like a new record."

Wukong snorted, "Oh please. You've had almost instant comeuppance plenty of times - you're not as slick as you think you are." He wasn't quite ready to let the topic drop, "But in all seriousness, if you want to talk about it..."

"Yeah, yeah. Chóu's Considerate Husband of the Year award is on it's way."

He puffed up in faux pride, before asking, "Do you think she'll back date me for the awards she didn't know me for yet?"

The bickering over how considerate he had been until this point lasted the rest of the morning.

--M--

Macaque had not so subtly been bringing Wukong seals projects to work on. Sometimes it was under the guise of "Oh, Gōngzhǔ found this artefact and Red Son's too busy to figure out what it does. You've got time, right?" or "Apparently, there's a prize to anyone that can write up a successful counter seal for this. You want to give it a go?"

He generally timed this with whenever Wukong was planning to work on the artefacts that could function as accessibility aids for Macaque and eventually he'd taken the hint and quietly put those projects to one side.

He hadn't outright abandoned them though because even if Macaque wasn't interested they were proving great at teaching him various complicated sealing techniques, including how to redo seals with another type of magic at their core.

But they very rarely got worked on and while he would love for Macaque to actually sit down and talk to him about it - sometimes you just had to pick your battles. Macaque clearly preferred developing his magic over finding ways to "fix" his more conventional senses and Wukong had decided the best option was to support him with that.

So he spent a lot of time working on other projects that Macaque brought him. The one he was currently working on had been niggling at something in the back of his head since he'd started, and it finally dawned on him why. He was sure he'd seen them on a similar artefact he had in the vault and so he stood up with a stretch and told Macaque that he was off to find it.

Macaque had decided he could do with a break from his own project and happily accompanied him to help look for it. His golden vision could make short work of the search but he was sure he knew roughly where it was and it was nice just to go through the treasure piles and see what else there was.

It was as he was doing this, that he came across two artefacts that he remembered throwing over here after deciding they were useless in helping Macaque with his muted senses. He hastily tried to bury them again but the damage had been done.

Macaque's head popped over his shoulder, "What's got your heart racing all of a sudden?"

Racing was a gross overstatement but Macaque could pick up and interpret the slightest changes with annoying accuracy. Foolishly, he turned to face him, shoving the artefacts behind him, "Nothing! Just, er, found some artefacts that might prove useful for a different project later! Not helpful right now though!"

Macaque just raised an eyebrow, "Really? That's what you're going with?"

Wukong just sighed and decided it was best to get the embarrassment over with. He brought the necklace and ring around and presented them to Macaque, "I found these a while back when I was trying to find artefacts that might help you with your sense of touch but they were total write offs. Not even remotely what I was looking for."

Macaque took them off him and held them up curiously, "What do they actually do then?"

He did his best to keep a straight face, "The ring I couldn't actually get to work but the necklace... Well, it does heighten your sense of touch in a manner of speaking..."

Macaque snorted, "It's a sex thing, isn't it?"

He nodded, "It's totally a sex thing. Which I just want to confirm, was not what I was looking for."

Macaque seemed to eye the necklace for a moment before he shrugged and slipped it on. Wukong's eyes widened in disbelief before they immediately shot downwards.

The scuff to the side of his head had been somewhat deserved, "Have some class, Wukong."

He rubbed at his nonexistent pain and tried to defend himself, "Hey, when I tried it on the effect was immediate."

Macaque scoffed, "Maybe you're just easy to please."

Despite himself, he felt his face heat up, "You say that like it's a bad thing! Who wants to be hard to please?"

"Always one extreme or the other with you. Believe it or not, there is in fact this nice middle ground where everyone has a good time."

"I know that! I didn't mean- Ah forget it! Is that necklace doing anything for you or what?"

Macaque hummed and brought a hand to the necklace, "I think I can feel what it's trying to do. But all it's really achieving is making me horny as hell with no way to do anything about it. So thanks for that."

"Wh-? I didn't make you put it on!"

Macaque casually removed the necklace and put it down on the nearest surface before he slipped the ring on and frowned at it, "You said you couldn't get this to work?"

"Yeah, it didn't do anything. Why? You feel something?"

"No... Give me your hand though, I have an idea."

Obligingly, he did so and as soon as Macaque's hand touched his he knew exactly what the ring did. He was going to deny the sound that escaped him for the rest of eternity and he quickly snatched his hand back, "Alrighty! Well, we now know what that does now! That's no help to anyone! Let's put it away, shall we?"

Maybe toss it in a volcano for good measure because he did not like the grin spreading across Macaque's face, "Put it away? Why you haven't even told me what it does yet."

Macaque absolutely knew what it did and for every step forward he took, Wukong took one back, his hands held up in front of him defensively, "We don't have to do this."

Macaque's response was full of delight, "Oh, I think we do. You want a safe word in case you need to tap out?"

He didn't dignify that with a response, he just turned tail and ran. Unfortunately, running from someone with shadow powers was all but impossible and he thought Macaque was taking a truly disproportionate amount of pleasure in this terribly inappropriate game of hide and seek.

Every gentle caress or trailing of his fingers along his skin sent a pleasurable shiver through him and it was all he could do just to not let any more embarrassing sounds escape him. And as if running about with an erection wasn't bad enough, he was appalled to discover that Macaque's vicious laughter was not even nearly the turn off it should be.

It was the ring. It had to be. He refused to accept anything else.

Eventually Macaque had him cornered and Wukong was prepared to beg - for what he wasn't even sure but god was he feeling desperate. As Macaque slowly stalked towards his prey, he suddenly decided this really was way too overwhelming, "Macaque... I... Uh... Safe word? Please?"

He was a little surprised at how immediate an effect that had. Macaque stopped and made a show of removing the ring and having it disappear into the shadows, he spread his arms wide as if to show he had nothing else on him.

He couldn't help but sigh a little in relief, "I, er, didn't think that would actually work."

"Honestly I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did. I thought you would have blown your load after like the third touch."

He was oddly both offended and embarrassingly a little pleased with the backhanded compliment but still slightly aghast at the crude language. He huffed and stood tall, "Guess I'm not so "easy to please" after all."

Macaque shrugged, "It's definitely a step up in duration compared to past performances but I can't say the running away was a shining example of sexual prowess."

Face red, he retorted, "It was a "shining example" of restraint! Something you should think about giving a try sometime!"

Macaque laughed, and he turned away to start heading back, "I think I showed great restraint. I gave you plenty of chances to get away."

Wukong grumbled as he adjusted himself before following after him, "You just wanted to keep the chase going."

"Guilty as charged but don't pretend you don't love that shit too."

It was true - he was almost never happier than he was when they played their game of cat and mouse. It didn't even matter who had what role - it made him feel like he was young again, with no ambitions for power or immortality yet. Just wild and free, without a care in the world.

"Yeah, sure. But for the record? Running with a hard-on really detracts from the whole experience - I could do without that again. What did you do with the ring anyway?"

Macaque just grinned menacingly and forged ahead without answering.

He groaned, silently prayed he would be merciful and jogged after him.

--M--

It was later that evening, after they'd had dinner, that Wukong found himself considering Macaque from the opposite end of the couch, and apropos to nothing he stated, "You've had sex with people other than me."

Macaque looked bemused, "That a problem?"

He made a face, "What? No. I'm just wondering - when? Why? You were even less interested in sex than I was - what changed?"

Macaque seemed to ponder this for a moment before he laughed slightly, "Alright, I'll tell you but it's a story so dumb it defies belief."

His favourite kind of story! He excitedly gestured for him to start.

"So, you know those demons that feed off other people's emotions?"

He was immediately in disbelief, "No... Don't tell me...?"

Macaque nodded, eyes sparkling with mirth, as he set the scene, "It couldn't have been long after your first immortality and we had been out exploring the world when, as per usual, you ditched me because something had caught your eye."

He had the good grace to at least feel sheepish over the reminder of his less than stellar track record as a teammate but Macaque obviously wasn't that upset about it, as he continued, "Lucky for you, I had found my own entertainment in the form of some rumours about some cursed tomb nearby. So, I went to check it out. As it would eventually transpire there was this demon that was "haunting" the place - a shapeshifter that was feeding off the fear of anyone willing to risk the curse for a stab at the rumoured treasure."

Macaque shook his head, "Honestly, it was pretty amateurish - the rumours and the dark were really doing all the work. I was able to see through all their attempts to scare me until eventually they gave up and appeared before me to lecture me for being such a spoil sport.

They explained their whole deal though and that's when they proposed a deal. See, they were starving, not many brave souls had been risking the tomb recently but they didn't need to feast on fear. They not-so-subtly hinted that there were much more pleasurable emotions to be had and they'd make it worth my while if I helped them out."

Wukong interjected, "There's no way you said yes to that!"

Macaque grinned, "You're right. I told them that sex sucks and I wasn't interested but then they were all like "Ah, you've had one too many selfish lovers, eh? But trust me the better you feel, the better I eat." And proceeded to really lay it on thick why this was a good idea. I still wasn't convinced though and eventually they offered up this fancy artefact they had - if they didn't show me the time of my life it was all mine. It was a win-win situation really."

He paused and laughed, "Needless to say, I didn't get that artefact. They were good on their word - although I'd say being a shapeshifting empath really gave them an unfair advantage. But turns out sex doesn't suck - I just had more involved needs than being mounted for two minutes. Go figure. After that I had the occasional fling, but have to say they were a hard act to follow."

Wukong protested, "There's no way that's true! That's some porn level shit! I don't believe you!"

"I told you it was dumb as hell. But I swear, that's what happened. And you don't even know the half of it but I'm not sure your "enlightened" ears could handle the finer details."

He told himself he could totally handle it but he wasn't stupid enough to take the bait - Macaque would go out of his way to embarrass him somehow, instead he continued with his disbelief, "If this happened when you said it did, I would already have known! You would have told me!"

"First of all, I'm not the "kiss and tell" sort of guy. And secondly, just because you liked to over share doesn't mean I did. There's plenty that went on that you never caught wind of."

It was, unfortunately, also quite possible there was plenty that Macaque had actually told him about that he hadn't paid attention to and he was grateful he hadn't felt the need to bring that up. But this hadn't been one of them because his younger self would have been all over this.

Either way he was sort of struck by the notion that there were apparently things he didn't know about Macaque from before his imprisonment - things that flew in the face of what he thought he knew. And he found he really wanted to know the truth.

A little hopeful he asked, "Like what?"

Over the next hour or so Macaque had him in constant awe and hysterics - stories of misbegotten adventures, strange rivalries, pranks gone wrong, backstage drama - and he was sure they were only scratching the tip of the iceberg.

For as amazing as some of these stories were, there was an uncomfortable feeling slowly building in his chest, trying not to sound as affected by it as he was, he asked, "How come you never told me about any of this at the time?"

He could understand a few stories slipping under the radar - Macaque forgetting to tell him because something big came up that distracted him or maybe Wukong had been off the island for so long the moment had passed - but he was getting the feeling there was more to it than that.

Macaque shrugged, "Ah, you know what it was like - always so much going on back in those days. You were away, or we were busy, or I was in a bad mood. But hey! Look on the bright side though! Now you get to hear them all for the first time now!"

"Yeah... That's really all there was to it though? No other reason I'm only hearing these stories now?"

Macaque seemed to waver for a moment before he sighed and turned away slightly embarrassed, "You've not noticed a common theme with these stories? I'm generally the butt of the joke. When we were younger I was sort of, er, hung up on what you thought about me. Didn't want you to think less of me."

He cooed, instantly enamoured, "Aw! You wanted me to think you were cool? That's so cute!"

Macaque crossed his arms with a huff, before grumbling, "Something like that."

Wukong couldn't resist teasing, "You know it didn't work though, right? I've always known you were a big dork. It's obvious no matter what you do."

Macaque scoffed, "You're one to talk. But obviously now that I'm older and wiser I know better. I'm no longer under any delusion that you're the be-all and end-all."

"Uh-huh. Sure. We're just going to pretend I'm not your favourite person in the whole world then?"

"You don't even rank in the top three."

"You're such a rotten liar!" He then leaned over to get in Macaque's space, he let the magic in his hands hum as he poked at him, "C'mon, admit it, I'm your favourite person. Not even top three... As if!"

Macaque squirmed and grappled with his hands to stop his prodding, "See, this right here is why you're not my favourite - you're just so annoying when you don't get your way."

They bickered childishly for a while as they playfully wrestled as best as they could without falling off the couch until eventually he plopped down on top of Macaque.

Macaque ran a hand through his hair, "Giving up?"

"You wish. I'm just biding my time. I'll get that confession. You just wait."

Macaque scoffed, "Sure thing, Monkey Cop."

A comfortable silence took hold as Macaque groomed his fur and Wukong felt his thoughts drift under the gentle ministrations. If he didn't think about it too hard, then a younger Macaque trying to act cool around him was both hilarious and sort of adorable. And it's not like Wukong hadn't ever done the same.

He'd lived for the adulation that others lavished on him but for all his love and loyalty Macaque had often been tight lipped when it came to praising him, probably not wanting to feed his dangerously inflated ego, and he had taken this as something of a challenge. So, there had been plenty of times he'd gone out of his way to try and impress Macaque but it didn't quite feel the same.

Macaque had hidden away parts of himself that he thought Wukong would think less of him for and that rubbed him the wrong way. He shouldn't have felt like he had to do that, he should have been able to trust Wukong with all of him but he couldn't blame him one bit for not being able to.

It was different now though, Wukong could be someone that Macaque could confide in and depend upon, he may tease him or give him a hard time but he knew that Wukong would always have his back. Macaque knew that, right?

"Hey, uh, you know you can talk to me, right? Like, about anything." He tried to make it sound slightly less serious by adding, "You know, even if you come across as super uncool or whatever."

Macaque snorted, "As if I worry about being "cool" around you. Nothing I can say or do can compare to the dumb shit you've done."

"Hey! I am the epitome of cool! You could only dream of being as cool as me!"

"As a general rule, people that go around calling themselves cool are anything but."

He poked him in the side, "Whatever. That wasn't nearly the important part of that question. And I would like an actual response. So... You know that you can talk to me, right?"

The pause almost had him pushing himself up to look at him but the light pressure Macaque had on his head told him he wanted him to stay where he was. Eventually he answered, "I'm getting there."

Oh.

That hurt a bit more than he wanted to admit but he tried not to dwell on it and instead responded, "Anything I can do to help with that?"

Macaque started scratching gently at the base of his skull, right where he knew he liked it, as he leaned down and kissed the top of his head, "Just keep doing what you're doing. Some things just take time, old habits are hard to break."

Time was something they had plenty of and he was in this for the long haul. However long it took, he would prove that to him. For the moment, however he snuggled close and asked to hear more stories.

----

Wukong had been making his way back to the house when he heard what, unfortunately, sounded an awful lot like Macaque's brooding playlist coming from that direction. He had a feeling he knew what might have happened but either way he made his way back and cautiously peeked his head around the door before entering properly.

He found Macaque sprawled out on the couch with his eyes closed as his depressing music filled the air. He leaned on the back of the couch and looked down at him, "I thought you were seeing Bǎi Hé today?"

"She had to cancel."

He'd had a feeling but still he frowned, "That's like the third time in a row."

"She's busy - school, friends, all that jazz."

"Yeah, but she couldn't have told you before now she couldn't make it?"

"Things come up, you lose track of time, it's fine."

"It's clearly not fine. You're here moping and listening to your saddest playlist."

"I'm not moping, I'm just lying down. And that playlist is just the one that came on."

Yeah, right. He could deny it all he wanted but he was obviously super bummed out at being stood up. He tried to play it cool but Macaque really looked forward to his monthly catch up with Bǎi Hé, he would always come back and proudly update him on whatever she'd been up to.

He couldn't help but feel a little annoyed on Macaque's behalf, "What excuse did she give you this time?"

"Study date."

"What? But she knew she had plans with you! That's just plain rude! Did she even apologize?"

"I'm sure she will when she realises."

"Wait. What do you mean?"

Macaque heaved a sigh and sat up, "She didn't show so I thought I'd just go see if I could find her in one of her usual haunts. I did, she was busy."

He groaned slightly, "Macaque! Why didn't you just call her? Once she realised she probably would have come and met you!"

Macaque's phone was all set up to accommodate his visual impairment - all he had to do was pull the damned thing from whatever shadows he usually stashed it in and tell it to call Bǎi Hé and this whole sad thing could have been avoided.

Macaque just shrugged and Wukong tutted as he poked the side of his head, "Don't just shrug. Why are you being all weird about this? You're throwing a pity party for no good reason."

Macaque swatted his hand away, "Look, she was happy where she was. No need to drag her away from that just to go for lunch."

"Macaque, I am actually going to smack you. Having lunch with you isn't some chore - you both have a great time whenever you meet up."

He really could understand being disheartened by the fact that this had been the third time in a row they hadn't met but Macaque hadn't even tried to get in touch with her to see what was up.

Sounding a little annoyed, Macaque responded, "Wukong, just..." He then took an aggravated breath before he sagged and admitted, "She's not a little kid, Wukong. She's growing up. I..."

Ah, okay, maybe this wasn't just Macaque being down on himself. Wukong himself really couldn't stand the thought of befriending any more humans - as fragile and short-lived as they were it was a recipe of heartache. And well, in this case, they grew up and changed fast too.

Macaque continued, "I know I should have called her, alright? I just... I don't know, I guess I'm not sure if I fit into her life anymore. I don't want her to feel like it's an obligation to have a relationship with me. And she's doing so well these days, maybe she's ready to move on from the support she needed after the Lady Bone Demon, y'know? Have a normal life - free from people like us."

They weren't unfair concerns. Humans were creatures of change - it could very well be the case that Bǎi Hé's needs and wants didn't involve Macaque like they used to but that didn't necessarily mean there was no place for Macaque in her life.

That is if Macaque really wanted to suffer through loving a mortal. There was a small part of him that wanted to tell Macaque this could be a good thing - break things off before he loved her so much that losing her haunted him before and after she was gone.

But he didn't doubt Macaque was well aware of her mortality and it felt callous to bring it up now. As he mulled over the correct response, Macaque suddenly looked a little stressed and the reason for it was quickly revealed as he pulled his ringing phone from the shadows, even without the phone explicit voicing who was calling Wukong would have been able to guess who it was.

He clasped Macaque's shoulder, "Answer it."

Macaque took a fortifying breath before using the audio command to accept the call. Wukong squeezed his shoulder once before letting go and leaving to give him some privacy but from what he could grasp from Macaque's reassurances that everything was fine, it sounded like Bǎi Hé was extremely apologetic for what had happened.

Good. She was a good kid, he really hadn't wanted to think she would deliberately blow off Macaque like that. It wasn't even a minute later than Macaque found him and explained he was leaving to go meet up with her. He forwent any "I told you so"'s or the like and just told him to have a good time.

He got a grateful kiss on the cheek and then he was on his own once more. He decided, he really needed to find something to keep him occupied lest thoughts of his relationship with MK started sounding a little too similar to Macaque's concerns about his relationship with Bǎi Hé.

--Chapter End--

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LMK Fanfic Masterlist

[canmom]

you must have this many dead friends to ride

it's TDOR (well, it was). unable to sleep, i read through all the deaths reported in the 2022-23 trans murder report (a year out of date, I don't think they've released this year's one yet.)

I'm not quite sure why i felt i should do this. if it's a gesture for the victims... well, if someone murders me one day, i don't think it will mean much one way or another if someone in faraway country reads a brief two sentence report that a 30-35 year old trans woman with 'other' occupation was found tied up with burn marks or something. nevertheless, it is the time of year for this ritual.

most of the deaths are reported in central and south american countries, largely due to reporting bias, though there's more reporting now from countries like India and Pakistan - almost nothing from east asia though, probably due to language barriers. it's hard to draw much of a conclusion about anything since many of the reports don't say much, the stats are subject to extreme sampling bias, etc etc. but the general types of story are: "her partner murdered her", "she was killed by gunmen on the street/in her house", "there was an argument and the other person decided to kill her over it", "the mob killed her for extortion reasons", 'her body was found in some awful condition", "the cops killed her" (including Tortugita, who they shot 57 times at the 'cop city' protest), and of course good old "explicitly anti trans hate crime" (which covers Brianna Ghey, the one death from my country, and several from the US).

my murdered sisters are in most cases very young. younger than me.

the statistician in my brain wants me to acknowledge that i don't know the degree that trans women are specifically subject to murder for being trans women or by abusive partners etc, and how much it's "just" about being poor and racialised and living in a place where paramilitaries, gangs etc routinely murder people. sex work is a dangerous line of work for many reasons, but it's also going to be the case that a lot of us are sex workers so even if we were all equally likely to be murdered, a huge number of the dead would be sex workers, just as many of them were beauticians.

but honestly, even bearing that in mind, a whole lot of sex workers were killed.

there is something particularly ghoulish in talking so drily about death statistics; the website uses the painful phrase 'concerning trend' in regards to the demographics of people killed (overwhelmingly trans women, sex workers and not white), as if a perfectly proportional series of murders would be less 'concerning' somehow, but what exactly are you supposed to say? it is of course a window into who a society is comfortable getting rid of, but we already knew that. there's a reason that a sex worker is the go-to plot-inciting murder victim in fiction.

collating death reports like this... in part it is done as a matter of political advocacy, saying 'look, we are being murdered by the hundreds [multiplied by some nebulous but significant underreporting factor]'. but of course, if that's our goal, we are holding our deaths up against, for example, the tens of, likely hundreds of thousands of people killed by violence in Gaza, Sudan and Ukraine in the last year - events which have already divided the world into people who can't stop it, and people who can but don't care to. and what do we want done about it? to beg the state to come down and apply its monopoly on violence more stringently? often the police are the ones killing trans women.

so what remains is ritual. we light candles, and read out the names of strangers who nevertheless have this one important thing in common with us, the ~global community~ of trannies and such - this was a person who refused to take the awful role they were given, asserted their own will to change their body, managed to live a life at least partly on their own terms, and then got killed over it.

but we don't have time to tell the life story, no time to describe the mess of relationships and aspirations that drive a life; there is no time to imagine what feelings we shared, what they enjoyed, what stories we might have laughed about if we'd known each other...

we have time for 'found dead in a car'.

if that.

in my country, we face a very different threat distribution - i don't really expect anyone i know to get murdered (though it's not impossible, there are people I'm close to who have been viciously attacked and there was little to do to stop the attacker coming back), but I'm sure Fall won't be the last of my friends to die by suicide. if we are 'fighting like hell for the living', our project here is more about trying to build lives that are worth living for, and weathering whatever fashy deluge is coming down the political pipes. what does fighting like hell even mean here? i think i used to think i knew.

but this night at least, I'm remembering my friend Fall, who we lost back in 2022. I made this page about her, and the feelings that came up from her death, with writing from friends who knew her better than me. I'd be grateful if you read it and helped some part of her memory live on. (apparently they wrote a little memorial for her in the recent translation of Shōnen Note: Boy Soprano which she worked on.)

I never got to ask what Fall thought of all these TDoR rituals - it's one of many things I didn't get to talk to her about and I bet she'd give me something unexpected to think about, formed some ingenious connection. or maybe she didn't think much of it! but it's as good a reason to think of her as any. she was awesome, she should have been given a much better hand by this world, and it is more shit for not having her in it.

I bet the friends of any of the 321 people on that list, and everyone on this year's list, would be able to say something pretty similar.

entropy always gets its way. but I'll hold onto what I can of her, my fragment of her ghost, for as long as we can. i guess that's the point of the ritual. hold onto our ghosts. tell each other that, one day, they'll stop accumulating so fast.

[giddlygoat]

i love ur turbo/felix stuff !! what's an underrated part of their dynamic that you're passionate about? any sorts of scenarios youre fond of ?

oml. thank you for such a treat of an ask!!!!!!

aaaa, where do i start? i genuinely don’t know how to articulate most of my thoughts and headcanons so i’m just gonna go for it LAWL

firstly, i love that turbo is an immature bad boy while felix is this heart-of-gold angel. i’m a simple man, i like that juxtaposition and i like to consider how they would inspire each other to veer out of their respective comfort zones and change as people [for better or for worse]. and i especially love all of this because i think it’s pretty safe to assume they are both the other’s first delve into dating. they’re both stupid about relationships going into this, which i believe is a big part of the reason felix fell in love with turbo.

which reminds me: i don’t think turbo realized he was in love with felix. he latched onto the only sprite in the whole arcade who remained consistently tolerant of his ‘charming quirks’ and soaked up that attention like a sponge. while felix would sometimes chastise his rude behaviors, he seldom told turbo anything but what the racer wanted to hear. he was encouraging to turbo like that; thought he could foster good change with positive reinforcement [at the time, felix did not realize on all conscious levels that he was trying to fix turbo].

that reminds me. in the very beginning, turbo thought of felix as a naive innocent whom he could mess with for his own amusement. on a less cruel note, he also found himself enjoying genuine laughter around felix more than anyone else, and turbo’s perception of the handyman changed significantly once he saw the real value in their friendship. he realized that felix actually made for great company and was a lot brighter than he’d originally assumed.

that’s around the time they both started to get close. turbo discovers that being playfully mean is his go-to love language, and felix consequentially discovers that he likes a little bitchiness in a guy. it’s kind of a surprise to them both but it’s a welcome development and they each come to terms with their newfound chemistry pretty quickly. it all goes unsaid. the flirting just kinda happens, and before too long they’re letting the lines of their relationship blur.

felix is absolutely thrilled. he loves the way turbo lights up when he enters the room. he loves feeling useful and wanted to someone other than a nicelander, and he sincerely loves turbo. it’s ridiculously simple to him, and at some point he was probably even convinced that turbo was his future. there is a sliver of bliss between them before the fantasy inevitably ends. sad! oh well, there are other bad boys with intimacy issues and their golden retriever boyfriends 😊 COUGH tamora & felix COUGH

OK BUT FR turbo even. Listen okay actually no. turbo had gotten wrapped up in felix’s fantasy too. he was invested. then he thought more than 2 seconds about the prospect of felix specifically being his life partner and got scared as fuck.

i’m ngl guys, i think turbo may have found felix’s predictability and love of routine and familiarity comforting in the beginning, but he quickly realizes that he can’t hitch himself to that. i think he had considered the anticipatory lifespan of his own game early on and a little seed of doubt burrowed itself down in his chest, telling him that he could not afford to get too comfortable and loose his touch.

OKAY UHM. sorry about the incoherent wall of text before you i just have so many thoughts about them at all times. all subject to change and evolve of course. in the meantime, here are some of my notes on them:

turbo has a strong emotional attachment to his car and felix recognizes that being invited to ride in it is a huge sign of trust and vulnerability. you’d never think he was sending sappy signals by the way he offered felix to ‘take it for a spin’, but it touches felix either way.

as previously mentioned, felix has a thing for being bossed around. he vehemently denies this when turbo teases him about it. no big surprise

turbo feels out of his element in most of the romantic aspects of their relationship, finding it easier to navigate the physical aspects. this isn’t even necessarily because he doesn’t have romantic feelings for felix, he’s just allergic to emotional intimacy.

felix is the perfect opposite of turbo in that respect. no display of affection is flippant or unimportant to him: he is very deliberate in initiating anything physical

on that note, felix is extremely service oriented and prefers to dote on his partner. turbo could not be happier by all the attention, but sometimes he finds felix’s emotion and sincerity to be overwhelming. this applies to basically every aspect of their relationship

i’m trying not to make all of these about turbo but i just have to get this off my chest: yes, turbo gets off on obliterating competition. he’s not normal about winning. winning in front of his boyfriend makes him especially abnormal. being praised for his victories by said boyfriend makes him downright unusual. no further questions at this time

i have more but this is way too long as it is and i’m falling asleep sitting up so CHAPTER ONE OVER!!!!1!1

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

[cosmogyros]

It is fucking amazing how often I have to unfollow people for bodyshaming others related to their choice to shave or not. And the fascinating thing is that this judginess is ALWAYS aimed at women. Men who don't shave? Fine. Men who do shave? Also fine. It's their body, they can do what they like with it, right?

But as soon as we're talking about women, suddenly it's totally okay to prescribe what they ought to do about their OWN bodies. I never used to see this many "women shouldn't shave" posts here, and the recent uptick is concerning to me.

I understand that it's rooted in a pushback against patriarchal norms that pressure all women to remove their body hair. And I fully support that. But you've gotta understand that if you react to these norms by saying "women should all shave? actually no, women should NOT shave!" ...YOU'RE STILL BEING SEXIST. You're still saying that women "should" do something different with their bodies because YOU think they ought to.

It's absolutely wild to me how often internalized misogyny can be revealed by simply asking oneself "If the genders were switched, would I be saying this (in any context except as a joke)?" And if the answer is no, then... maybe don't say it.

Freedom is always more revolutionary. Letting people make their own choices is always more revolutionary. If you react to someone's attempt to enforce a certain standard by attempting to enforce the opposite standard instead, you are not on the side of freedom.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

The worst thing about my brain being an autopilot grammar nazi is that every single time I see people misuse “it’s” and “its” as well as apostrophe placements is that I don’t want to be rude and correct people... but my brain still is like UGH THIS IS THE WORST.

“It’s” and “Its” are more just my brain going weeo weeo on me when that’s a more understandable one bc “its” is literally the exception to a rule (because “it’s” actually means “it is”, so to avoid it being used for two meanings the apostrophe is removed for ownership cases), but when I see apostrophes before an S for plural wording and I know they speak English properly I’m just like. ugh. damn. bruh. please. go back to school.

Less severe cases of incorrect apostrophe use tends to be like, when people are playing Heroes and have duplicates of units and are like “my Ike’s” instead of “my Ikes”, because I think people are trying to... make it more clear that it’s referring to more than one? I think? Maybe? Or they literally just don’t realize it’s incorrect grammar, idk lol. Still can’t get past my weeo weeo autopilot brain though sadly.

LIKE. IT’S NOT ANYONE’S FAULT THAT MY BRAIN IS WEEO WEEO, IT JUST IS.

Which speaking of Heroes, FE in general seems to have its script in every single game ever coded to always use apostrophes for ownership cases even when the word ends in S, so don’t worry folks. IntSys isn’t getting off scot free from my brain either LOL. No amount of “princess’s” is ever gonna fly with my weeo weeo brain.

this has been a psa

mainly a psa of my brain weeo weeos

[rivilu]

Wait. Logistically speaking. Would Elluin even know how to read.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

average United States contains 1000s of pet tigers in backyards" factoid actualy [sic] just statistical error. average person has 0 tigers on property. Activist Georg, who lives the U.S. Capitol & makes up over 10,000 each day, has purposefully been spreading disinformation adn [sic] should not have been counted

I have a big mad today, folks. It's a really frustrating one, because years worth of work has been validated... but the reason for that fucking sucks.

For almost a decade, I've been trying to fact-check the claim that there "are 10,000 to 20,000 pet tigers/big cats in backyards in the United States." I talked to zoo, sanctuary, and private cat people; I looked at legislation, regulation, attack/death/escape incident rates; I read everything I could get my hands on. None of it made sense. None of it lined up. I couldn't find data supporting anything like the population of pet cats being alleged to exist. Some of you might remember the series I published on those findings from 2018 or so under the hashtag #CrouchingTigerHiddenData. I've continued to work on it in the six years since, including publishing a peer reviewed study that counted all the non-pet big cats in the US (because even though they're regulated, apparently nobody bothered to keep track of those either).

I spent years of my life obsessing over that statistic because it was being used to push for new federal legislation that, while well intentioned, contained language that would, and has, created real problems for ethical facilities that have big cats. I wrote a comprehensive - 35 page! - analysis of the issues with the then-current version of the Big Cat Public Safety Act in 2020. When the bill was first introduced to Congress in 2013, a lot of groups promoted it by fear mongering: there's so many pet tigers! they could be hidden around every corner! they could escape and attack you! they could come out of nowhere and eat your children!! Tiger King exposed the masses to the idea of "thousands of abused backyard big cats": as a result the messaging around the bill shifted to being welfare-focused, and the law passed in 2022.

The Big Cat Public Safety Act created a registry, and anyone who owned a private cat and wanted to keep it had to join. If they did, they could keep the animal until it passed, as long as they followed certain strictures (no getting more, no public contact, etc). Don’t register and get caught? Cat is seized and major punishment for you. Registering is therefore highly incentivized. That registry closed in June of 2023, and you can now get that registration data via a Freedom of Information Act request.

Guess how many pet big cats were registered in the whole country?

97.

Not tens of thousands. Not thousands. Not even triple digits. 97.

And that isn't even the right number! Ten USDA licensed facilities registered erroneously. That accounts for 55 of 97 animals. Which leaves us with 42 pet big cats, of all species, in the entire country.

Now, I know that not everyone may have registered. There's probably someone living deep in the woods somewhere with their illegal pet cougar, and there's been at least one random person in Texas arrested for trying to sell a cub since the law passed. But - and here's the big thing - even if there are ten times as many hidden cats than people who registered them - that's nowhere near ten thousand animals. Obviously, I had some questions.

Guess what? Turns out, this is because it was never real. That huge number never had data behind it, wasn't likely to be accurate, and the advocacy groups using that statistic to fearmonger and drive their agenda knew it... and didn't see a problem with that.

Allow me to introduce you to an article published last week.

This article is good. (Full disclose, I'm quoted in it). It's comprehensive and fairly written, and they did their due diligence reporting and fact-checking the piece. They talked to a lot of people on all sides of the story.

But thing that really gets me?

Multiple representatives from major advocacy organizations who worked on the Big Cat Publix Safety Act told the reporter that they knew the statistics they were quoting weren't real. And that they don't care. The end justifies the means, the good guys won over the bad guys, that's just how lobbying works after all. They're so blase about it, it makes my stomach hurt. Let me pull some excerpts from the quotes.

"Whatever the true number, nearly everyone in the debate acknowledges a disparity between the actual census and the figures cited by lawmakers. “The 20,000 number is not real,” said Bill Nimmo, founder of Tigers in America. (...) For his part, Nimmo at Tigers in America sees the exaggerated figure as part of the political process. Prior to the passage of the bill, he said, businesses that exhibited and bred big cats juiced the numbers, too. (...) “I’m not justifying the hyperbolic 20,000,” Nimmo said. “In the world of comparing hyperbole, the good guys won this one.”

"Michelle Sinnott, director and counsel for captive animal law enforcement at the PETA Foundation, emphasized that the law accomplished what it was set out to do. (...) Specific numbers are not what really matter, she said: “Whether there’s one big cat in a private home or whether there’s 10,000 big cats in a private home, the underlying problem of industry is still there.”"

I have no problem with a law ending the private ownership of big cats, and with ending cub petting practices. What I do have a problem with is that these organizations purposefully spread disinformation for years in order to push for it. By their own admission, they repeatedly and intentionally promoted false statistics within Congress. For a decade.

No wonder it never made sense. No wonder no matter where I looked, I couldn't figure out how any of these groups got those numbers, why there was never any data to back any of the claims up, why everything I learned seemed to actively contradict it. It was never real. These people decided the truth didn't matter. They knew they had no proof, couldn't verify their shocking numbers... and they decided that was fine, if it achieved the end they wanted.

So members of the public - probably like you, reading this - and legislators who care about big cats and want to see legislation exist to protect them? They got played, got fed false information through a TV show designed to tug at heartstrings, and it got a law through Congress that's causing real problems for ethical captive big cat management. The 20,000 pet cat number was too sexy - too much of a crisis - for anyone to want to look past it and check that the language of the law wouldn't mess things up up for good zoos and sanctuaries. Whoops! At least the "bad guys" lost, right? (The problems are covered somewhat in the article linked, and I'll go into more details in a future post. You can also read my analysis from 2020, linked up top.)

Now, I know. Something something something facts don't matter this much in our post-truth era, stop caring so much, that's just how politics work, etc. I’m sorry, but no. Absolutely not.

Laws that will impact the welfare of living animals must be crafted carefully, thoughtfully, and precisely in order to ensure they achieve their goals without accidental negative impacts. We have a duty of care to ensure that. And in this case, the law also impacts reservoir populations for critically endangered species! We can't get those back if we mess them up. So maybe, just maybe, if legislators hadn't been so focused on all those alleged pet cats, the bill could have been written narrowly and precisely.

But the minutiae of regulatory impacts aren't sexy, and tiger abuse and TV shows about terrible people are. We all got misled, and now we're here, and the animals in good facilities are already paying for it.

I don't have a conclusion. I'm just mad. The public deserves to know the truth about animal legislation they're voting for, and I hope we all call on our legislators in the future to be far more critical of the data they get fed.

[sincerity--extreme]

There's nothing I want more than to be able to get a job in order to finally be able to move out, no one believes it because of how I... am in general, but I really really want that

[thepradapariah]

Mars ☄️ and Your Sexxx Language 🐱💋✨

QUICK MESSAGE TO THE BADDIES

HELLO!!!! To all of my sweet, sweet Kosmic Baddies, Oh!! How I’ve missed you!

I cannot believe it’s been over a FRIGGIN year, but GOODNESS….believe me, when I say this past year has been a roller coaster for me, I truly mean it. I can only imagine what’s been going on in your lives as well. Just TOO MUCH!!!1111!!!!!111!!!!!1 But welcome to 2024! A universal 8 year and the year of the Dragon!!! WE IN THIS THANNNNGGG!!!! Hard work, discipline and accountability is the theme, and we can’t lose!!!!!

Believe it or not, I actually STARTED writing this to have to you for Halloween, but ummmm….this is looking like a Valentine’s Day post instead! HA!!!! Blame it on my Saturn in Pisces– my relationship to time is….non existent. But, I think this timing is better anyways. The theme is very fitting so we are going to turn apples into oranges.

***Even funnier update, now it’s past Valentine’s Day….GOODNESS!!! This has been the longest it’s taken me to write anything. Like…INSANE. Almost 6 months I’ve been steadily working on this!

Thank you to those who have continued to support me! Thank you to those who have continued to share and interact with my post through my…let’s say, hiatus! I am planning to put more energy and effort into this blog post. I LOVE writing for y’all, it is really one of my favorite things in the world.

I am going to take a moment to apologize in advance and say, the typos are probably going to be real with this one. Because I’ve been working on it for so long, I’m just ready to get it out, so it won’t be my cleanest work. I will probably be updating and editing, so bare with me!

🕯 INTRODUCTION 🕯

Sooooo….where to start? I wanted to do something fun and interesting this go round because I missed y’all so much, but I also wanted to do something light so I could get back into the rhythm of writing again….aaaaaaaaaand I thought you would enjoy something a little smexiiiii as we move into cuddle buddy season. So, in this post, we are going to talk about Mars and Your Sexxx language.

One day, as I was driving around town, it dawned on me that we always talk about Love Languages (check out my Mercury post if you haven’t already) and we never talk about sex languages. And y’all know me, and if you don’t know, you’ll soon find out, I am a Bharani moon (atmakaraka at that); and the blending between Mars and Venus is my soul’s most valuable asset to share with the world…(Did I mention my moon is the 11th House?) Sex is one of the most taboo topics (in Western puritan culture, at least), yet such a powerful resource in our human tool box and it’s ridiculously important in our relationships. The 7th House is followed by the 8th House for a reason. Intimacy, of course not always sexual, is what leads to self-discovery, the 9th House. So we cannot overlook the important step that is sexual relations. Even the word “orgasm” means “little death” and death baby, is as close as you get to God. (See how those houses flow together so well?) Hence why things such as Tantra are a sexual AND religious experience all in one. Don’t be fooled by western/christian ideals into thinking that sex is unholy or ungodly. If you think Jesus was a virgin, think again. I mean, what’s the point of turning water into wine if you’re just going to roll over and go to sleep? Y’know what I mean?

Don’t worry! If you’re a less experienced reader, and haven’t engaged in aaaaallll thhhaattt… this post is still for you! In fact, this is one of the reasons I love astrology so much, because hopefully this post will give you some context about yourself and what your SOUL craves, not just your body, so when you do start “doing the do” you can be spiritually comfortable with your wants and desires instead of ashamed or even afraid of them.

Not to put all my business on the street…but, hey, I love y’all, so I won’t keep too many secrets from you (mercury in the 8th, HA)…but, I had to do quite a bit of bumping and grinding to discover what my soul needs in an intimate relationship and I wish there was more of “guide” for me on that journey! So HERE…I’m giving it to you!

WHAT IS A SEX LANGUAGE? 😈

To be completely honest, a “sex language” isn’t something as defined as a love language, so please, bear with me as we discover this together. Please feel free to share any experiences or insight with me. Although I may not always respond, I TRULY appreciate you taking the time to share with me. I try to read everything that I can!

I’m defining sex language as how one creates and shares intimacy in their close relationships. This is particularly expressed through physical interactions and outward expressions. Mars is a planet that governs our passions, drives and desires, meaning our sex language is guided by what we deeply want and crave from our partners on a spiritual level. Venus represents more of the external notions that we have for love and relationships, while Mars represents our internal needs from love and relationships. Mars is inherently a more personal and “self-centered” planet, so interestingly enough, your sex language is all about you! I go as far to say, when you find a partner, don’t forget to check your Mars compatibility as well. If you have extremely incompatible Mars signs, you will have to do a lot more work in the relationship to overcome the constant friction. Moreover, if you have more compatible Mars signs, then WOOOO BABY, the sexual tension could be off the charts!

✨ ABOUT MARS ✨

Mars placements won’t make or break a relationship, per say, but it is a very important layer to help maintain a relationship. How many of you have heard of sexless marriages and people being unsatisfied in their relationships in a sexual way? Does that mean the couples always break-up because of the lack of sex or chemistry? No…..But does it help a HECK OF A LOT when you are wildly attracted to your partner? YES! (Of course this isn’t always a good thing…but for the sake of this post, we are only talking about rainbows and sunshine.) Just keep this in mind as you start to use this knowledge in your journey. Mars is a really important planet that is easy to overlook because it’s not in the Big Three! (Yet, it iiissss the natural ruler of the 1st House).

WHY IT ALL MATTERS 🌚

I truly believe there is a shift in the collective and many couples are going to be coming into union over the course of the next year or so. Why? Because Ketu is FINALLY transitioning out of Libra and entering Virgo. If you’ve noticed, we’ve seen quite a bit of celebrity break-ups and covid relationships coming to a screeching halt. Hence why I say, if you’ve been single, or haven’t been in a serious connection in the last few years or even ever, now is the time that your next partner might be going through some significant ending with an ex. Union is on the horizon for a lot of souls who have been doing theeee spiritual work. That’s why I couldn’t think of a better topic to get started to set the mooooooooood. Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

So without further ado, let’s get into the nitty gritty. I’m going to do something different and start with Mars in Pisces/12th House and work backwards to Mars in Aries/1st House! I thought “Hey! Why not switch it up a bit? Pisces shouldn’t be forced to scroll ALL the time!”

***Note: If you’re feeling extra spicy, you can read for whatever sign is in your 1st House and 8th House as well because those are traditionally Mars ruled Houses. And you can read for your 12H, because the 12H is also the house of bedroom pleasures! Always keep in mind that we are complex creatures and astrology is like a puzzle, so it’s okay for some things to resonate and other things to not. Learn as many perspectives as possible so you can define yourself!

With Love & Lust,

Enjoy!

A-D 💋

Mars in Pisces/Mars in the 12th House

“Cut me like a rose, turn me like a beast” Only- Ry X

If your natal Mars is in Pisces or the 12H, you may actually have a hard time knowing what your desires are. Why? Because Mars can feel as if it’s drowning in the deep spiritual waters of Pisces. Your wants can be quite dreamy. You crave a sexual experience that transcends space and time, forcing you to leave your body and touch God himself in ecstasy. (I’m a western Mars in Pisces, so…I get it). When it comes to your sex language, you want your partner to just get “you”. You don’t want to have to explain or talk or direct, you’d rather just receive and give a special type of unconditional love that knows no bounds. Because of this “boundless love”, you may actually, literally, lack boundaries. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, so we are going to focus on the positive. You are truly accepting of those who are accepting of you. Because Pisces is a mutable sign, you are willing to fit into whatever box your partner wants to put you in…and you receive great pleasure from making a deep seeded fantasy of your partner come true. You could be just as playful and imaginative when it comes to role-playing as a Gemini.

Because Mars is in Pisces or the 12H, you’ll find that a lot of partners will project their wishes and dreams onto you. Hence why you want a love that is really deep, because people can get washed away in the shallow end of your energy without ever fully realizing how deep your waters flow. This can be frustrating. And because Mars isn’t the most comfortable here, you can have some unhealthy ways of expressing your sexual frustration. Particularly if your Mars is in the 12H, you can be attracted to self-gratification through self-pleasure and also self-harm. You may even conflate the two, harm & pleasure, and have a dark side to your sexual fantasies. Your passions and desires can end up being repressed because people may not understand them, or be able to meet your high expectations. Amd babes, I love you, but just know, your expectations out of partnership are OTHERWORLDLY. But no worries!! You are SUPER DUPER freaky and almost a guaranteed partner that will go down in history books, particularly after you get comfortable in your own sensuality.

One of the things to watch out for with this Mars, is you can be passive-aggressive in the bedroom. You can take a more passive role, expecting and energetically demanding that your partner take the lead. You may not realize you even give off this energy, but the internal need that you have to dissolve into your partner, like sugar into water, can be very intense. And the gag is, sugar doesn’t really fully dissolve, so what you’re seeking can be impossible to satisfy on the earthly plane. Because of this, it is IMPERATIVE for you to have spiritual outlets within your sexual connections. It may be that you and your partner practice Tantra, or you simply pray together. With this Mars, you can absolutely use sex as a tool for manifestation. Watch your thoughts during sex, because you truly can create MAGIK!

Mars in Aquarius or Mars in the 11th House

“I believe in aliens, I don’t believe in love” Familiarity by Teezo Touchdown

If your natal Mars is in Aquarius or the 11th House, you are something special. Why? Because out of all the signs, you are the most unique lover. I KNOW!!! How friggin’ cliche, Aquarius=Unique, blah blah blah…boring. YES! It’s said all the time, but it’s the truth. In Vedic Astrology, it is important to note that Aquarius is ruled by Saturn and Rahu. This is hugely impactful as to why you are unlike anyone else. Even as you read this, you won’t be exactly like the next person reading this, because the Saturn Rahu combination can be influenced by so many different factors. Aquarians are the hardest sign to write for in general, simply because you are going to be very individualist when it comes to how you express yourself. Now, all that being said, you still crave, very deeply, a sense of belonging. So please, don’t ever take for granted how special you are. If someone is lucky enough to break through your hard exterior, they really are in for an extraterrestrial experience!

Because Mars is in an air sign here, you may or may not be the most sensual and/or sexual person on the planet. You could be. But you could not be. And that is the gift…or curse…of this Mars placement. I have Mars in Aquarius myself, and I remember reading an article that said “this placement can be infuriating to your partner because you are so nonchalant.” And I can definitely say I’ve lost relationships because the other party assumed I was disinterested because I wasn’t the most expressive when it came to my emotions. It’s important to remember that Mars in Aquarius/11H is actually a neutral placement. It isn’t a death sentence or the worst thing on the planet, but it’s not necessarily the best. So don’t be too hard on yourself if your partners don’t understand you very easily. You will just have to do more work to learn how to communicate and accommodate in your relationships. This may be something that follows you throughout life…and forget your partner….it could be infuriating to you! BUT NO WORRIES! Mars in Aquarius or Mars in the 11th house is usually more concerned with developing and nurturing friendships, which seems to contradict the more lustful side of Mars. Longing for friendship and connection versus longing for sensual pleasure and connection can be seen as two different things.

What Mars in Aquarius/11H wants more than anything is L. O. Y. A. L. T. Y. Because this Mars placement can grant so much freedom, it is imperative for the person with this placement to feel safe and secure in the sexual relationship they are building. This is NOT to be confused with possession. Expecting loyalty from a partner isn’t the same as feeling as if you own your partner. You believe that your partner should have freedom to express and live their life the way they want to, and you expect the same in return. However, you do expect your partner to consider you when they make their decisions in life. It is very much “give a dog a bone, leave a dog alone, let a dog roam and he’ll find his way home” (S/o DMX, may he rest in peace). Meaning, in your sexual language, you want your space and privacy, but you want to feel a belonging no matter how far away you are from your partners.

NOW, for the fun stuff. You are one of the most explorative lovers on the planet. You may have a “the more the merrier” type attitude and be interested in group smexii time or oragies. You may have a dream to experience Amsterdam and the Red Light District. The beauty in having your Mars in an air sign/house is that you can remain detached from the sexual experience and partner– therefore, you may not experience jealousy because you aren’t super possessive. Again, you’re all about freedom baby!!! You may also have some pretty “far-out” kinks. You may be interested in different genders, or same gender, or mix gender or no gender or latex or pantyhoes or dress up or furries or hentai or tentacle porn….and if you’re not into it, chances are you will at least click a questionable link or two. You don’t carry the same shame as others do when it comes to what turns you on sexually. You don’t like anything boring or too routine, so your search history could be a bit…odd….BUT HEY!!! As long as it’s not hurting anyone or anything and pleasure is being derived from all parties involved, then let adults do what adults do is kind of your attitude.

Friendship is the key to your heart…and to your…uh…biological box….lol. When it comes to long-term relationships, I can bet my bottom dollar that you’re far more interested in the friendship aspects than the inherent relationship drama. When your friends ask “why are you still dealing with them”, you will follow up with “well, we are friends before anything else.” And you mean that deeply. The really funny thing is…on the other hand, you are also very likely to get down with complete strangers and never think about it again. You can hook-up and detach with the best of them, or your loyalty to a confidant can keep you in a relationship for a very long time…it. Just. depends.

The one thing that is true about your sex language, is that you speak ALL different kinds. When you look back at your life and your experiences, if you are more of an adventurous Aquarian, lets say you have a lot of air and fire in your chart, you will most likely have all kinds of stories from all different people and places. You will be one of the most interesting partners and friends to talk to about all the mixed bags of experiences that you’ve had..which is awesome. If your Mars in Aquarius/11H is paired with a more “earthy” sign or even water, you will most likely have a rom-com type love thing happening…that tugging “will they/won’t they” energy at the beginning of relationships, only to fall head over heals with the “guy/gal next door”. You may also find your sexual partners online, in a group setting or be hooked up by natural friends. “How’d you meet?” “Oh, I heard from a friend of a friend that that d*ck is a ten out of ten!”

Mars in Capricorn or Mars in the 10th House

“My vicious love, My lethal heart, I wanna screw you up into me” - Bad Bad Bad by Ramsey

If your natal Mars is in Capricorn or in the 10th House, then your sexual language is money, money…and….uh….more money. I kid, I kid…but not really. It would be easy and predictable for me to say you just lust after money, but it goes much deeper than that. Believe it or not, Mars is actually exalt in Capricorn, so, you couldn’t have a better Mars placement. Your natural ruler Saturn and Mars truly are the best of friends. And if you’re familiar with Tarot, then you know The Devil represents Capricorn energy and The Devil is all about seduction and temptation. Unlike some of the more dreamy Mars placements like Pisces/12H or Cancer 4H that use their sexual language as an escape from reality, or the detached air placements like Gemini/3H or Aquarius/11H, who are too aloof to harness Mars’ energy, YOU my Capricorn/10H individuals are acutely aware of how powerful the nature of sex can be…and most importantly, how it can be used to your advantage.

To the average person on the street, you may not seem like the super sexual type. You prefer a sophisticated lover to a “cute” one, so people can assume that your standards are too high. And perhaps, your standards are high, because you understand the value of your presence and your time. In fact, you HATE wasting time, so why would you waste time on lovers who don’t bring anything to the table? Sadly, for most of the public, they won’t ever have the experience to be with a Capricorn/10H Mars because quite frankly, they can’t afford it.

Funnily enough, I’m sure as you’ve been reading this, you’re like “dang…am I that shallow?” And the answer is yes and no. You’re shallow because we live in a shallow world– and you know in order to survive it, you have to use what you got to get what you want. The other side of this is, you’re not shallow at all because you are willing to work and discipline yourself and sacrifice for those that you truly care about. There is such a depth to you in the long run, that it makes sense that you make it really difficult for people to get to you. Because you know and I know, once you’ve committed to someone, you’ve committed for as long as you possibly can. Your sexual language is all about stamina and endurance. This is true in and and out of the bedroom. As an earth sign/house, you are a sensual being. You enjoy each and every bit of romance that you can get. A nice meal, some good perfume, dressed to the nines is all considered foreplay to you. You entice your partners with a certain dignified class and only the brave will approach. In your younger years, you could find this extremely frustrating at times because men will really have to get their sh*t together before they can even THINK to approach you on that level. But the more that you use your Mars to get you where you want to be in life, partners will follow behind you and constantly buzz around as if you are the Queen Bee and they are mere workers for your attention.

Funnily enough, you are quite the heart-breaker with this Mars placement. Because you are so focused on your goals outside of love, and yet, you can crave sensual pleasures, you will be very direct with a partner, but they may not be aware of how serious you take yourself. How can this manifest? Let’s say you meet a partner and everything is groovy, but you are working on a big project for work, you’re working on a degree of some kind, or you’ve said you won’t rest until you make partner at the big company…unlike other Mars placements, you won’t let romance sway you or take you off track. You are probably the best example of “right person, wrong time”. You don’t have as much of an issue as other signs walking away from a situation that is distracting you from your more worldly desires. This can leave people utterly confused, because you seem like a perfect partner, but honestly, you’re just not focused on aaaalll the drama that can come with fully committed relationships. People may actually take this energy and say that you’re a player…or worse…a floozy (one of my favorite words lol, definitely needs to make a comeback). You actually aren’t. You will be one of the most committed partners they could find, but if it’s not the right time…it just ain’t happening. So your partners will have to maintain some level of patience or they will miss out. On the other hand, because Mars is a planet of extremes, you may go through periods in life where you are celebate. It may take you awhile to stop channeling that Martian ambitious energy into your career and put it towards your sexuality. That being said, you will enjoy the more sensual side of sex. You could have great stamina and endurance. Because sex may not come around as often as you’d like, you will learn to savor every drop of your partners and please them in a calculated, thoughtful and masterful way! How smeeexxxiiiiiii!!!!!

Mars in Sagittarius or Mars in the 9th House

“I’ve been everywhere, man, looking for someone. Someone who can please me, love me all night long” Where Have You Been by Rihanna

If your natal Mars is in Sagittarius or the 9th House, your sexual language is that of many languages. You fall in love with the exotic, unknown and unexplored. You like your partners like James Bond likes his cars– foreign. You appreciate partners who expand your understanding of reality. Your partners have to expand your mind…and body…into positions that you never thought were possible. If you don’t attract partners who are of a different race, culture or class from you, then you will be attracted to partners who are otherworldly and spiritual or are just as serious about their religious beliefs as you are. Like Mars in Pisces/12H, your planet is ruled by the planet Jupiter, aka Guru. You NEED to learn from your partner. You NEED to explore with your partner. And you NEED to be able to teach your partners something as well. “I wanna know…can you show me…I wanna know about the strangers like me”...It’s giving…Tarzan and Jane. I have Mars in the 9th House, and it has manifested in a very fun way! So with my bias, I believe that this can be one of the more fun placements if you just go with the flow. Unlike other Mars placements, you don’t necessarily feel the need to control your partners. You’d much rather experience them, learn the lesson and move on to the next new shiny thing. Much like your brother, Gemini, you are equally as invested in getting the knowledge and seeking more knowledge. You of all signs are unlikely to overstay your welcome in a relationship. You can come off quite restless and unsatisfied…UNLESS you are just fascinated and enamored with an individual.

You can find yourself attracted to people who have accents, or speak a different language than you. But you will be even more turned on by someone who shares the same religious beliefs as you. You may actually be willing to convert religions for your partner OR, and this is more likely, you have a partner who is a different religion than you are, and instead of being ashamed by it, or making it an obstacle, you embrace it– ultimately respecting their religion, while maintaining the traditions of your own.

You will naturally desire to travel with your partner. Making some of your favorite memories in life when you made-love in some far off land. If the sentence, “I made love to a Frenchman I met while eating a baguette at the local cafe under the Eiffel tower and I’ll never see him again, but he’s the love of my life” turns you on…congratulations, you’re in the right spot.

This Mars placement is fueled by your deepest desire to see the world and its deepest truth, and then just imagine how much you can learn about the world through the lens of an intimate partner. Your sexual language, like I said earlier, involves language in and of itself. You want to hear the stories of distants lands, fascinated by the foreign nature of your divine counterpart. You will want to be intimate with partners who can speak for hours and hours about their adventures and endeavors. You need to be intrigued at the very least.

I also find that with this placement, there may be an age difference in your relationships. You either will be attracted to someone who is much older and wiser, OR, interesting enough, you could find yourself with someone younger. Why is this? You will appreciate a person who still has zest for life. You will be equally attracted to partners who are bright eyed and bushy tailed! Plus, I know I’ve talked a lot about your partner entertaining and teaching you, but the truth of the matter is, you will want to be as much of a sage to your partner as well. You will enjoy teaching them the ways of life and the pursuit of happiness. They will look to you with eyes of wonder as you paint beautifully vivid pictures of your life experiences that have shaped your view of the world.

Another element to this Mars placement, is you are one to challenge authority. This may manifest in your sex language by liking to explore BDSM culture in some way. Because this Mars is all about freedom, you may be turned on by the thought of your partner controlling you…just so you can say no. You can come off as a “well, make me”...kind of lover when it comes to foreplay. You love a challenge and you like partners who challenge you in some way when it comes to living out your sexual fantasies. Another way this may come out is you AND your partner may have a knack for getting into trouble or enjoying sex with some kind of risk involved. You get off being able to sneak away for a quickie. You’ll have sex in the backseat of a car. Joining the mile club is definitely on your bucket list…all the things! Because you are such a rebel, you tell stories that have “normies” clutching their pearls and leave their mouths open. You want to have memorable sex that is worth writing a book about!!!

I can not drive home enough how spiritual your sexual relationships have the potential to be. You are not a shallow lover. You are a lover full of wonder and full of lust…wanderlust…if you will. Sagittarius/9H is a very serious zodiac/house. You're destined to seek truth– so your sexual partners HAVE to enlighten you in some way. You don’t want to get stuck in the mundane, boring stuff of a relationship, (and please, don’t get too carried away, because we do live on planet earth!) you want to experience shrooms, talk about God and make love in the forest! Smexxiiii!!!!

Mars in Scorpio or Mars in the 8th House

“Every breath you take, every move you make, every smile you fake, every single day, I’ll be watching you” Every Breath You Take by Sting

Okay, okay, it would be all too easy to say your love language is stalking, and more stalking and even more stalking, but…that’s only a small fraction of what this Mars placement has to offer. If your natal Mars is placed in Scorpio or in your 8th House, your sexual language is that of raw passion and intensity. That being said, it is also about restraint and self-restriction, and sometimes self destruction. I tend to find Scorpionic energy and 8H energy to be radically internal. You, actually, may not be the most expressive lover. You are more comfortable waiting, studying and planning to pursue a lover, rather than going in full force. Because Mars is your natural ruler, Mars is more than comfortable here, but unlike your brother sign, Aries, you are more of the “planning” part of war, rather than action. This is the strategy of self-defense more than anything. You don’t want to walk into an intimate situation to be intimate yourself, you want to extract vulnerability from your partner like a detective solving a murder crime. Your sex language is more of a riddle than a question. And you would like a partner who intrigues you and leaves a lot of mystery. In my many many years of dating, and many many encounters with Scorpionic energy (I attract them like flies…it’s crazy) I always find that Scorpios are nowhere near as mysterious or hard to figure out as they perceive. Behind all that black and dark stares and gazed is usually a pretty pretty boring, but shy person. There is such a caution with this sign when it comes to acting on those very deep and sometimes all consuming desires, so you are very careful to not put yourself in harm's way. Another hot take that I have on this placement that may seem a bit contradictory to the Scorpionic stereotype is YES YES YES, you are smexxxxiiii and all of the things, but that doesn’t necessarily make you the most sexual person. You take intimacy and sexy very seriously, more seriously than most, because for you intimacy and vulnerability can be used against you and be seen as a weakness, so you are hard pressed to just be going around willy-nilly swinging from partner to partner. You also view sex/intimacy as more of a “power” thing than a “love” thing. And what do I mean by that? You know that deep intimacy and truly being intertwined with another individual gives you an unreal amount of access to that person on a personal and spiritual level. It is always important to remember where Scorpio/8H lines up in the grand scheme of things. It follows the Libra/7H of partnership. The 8H is actually the house that dictates how a relationship will play out. This. Is. Imperative. To understand this placement. You are far more focused on how the partnership plays out, rather than the partnership itself. Again, unlike your predecessor, Libra, who is ruled by Venus and may be more interested in the looks of a relationship and romantic partner. Your sexual language is more interested in the psychology of your partner. You don’t care nearly as much about the outside as you do the inside. What draws you to your partner is a need to access the ultimate truths through your partners. Hence why, you are followed by Sagittarius/9H of Truth and Liberation. Your sex language involves restraint, power and hidden truths.

As I said before, it may be really difficult for you at times to truly connect with your partners because your energy can demand sooooo much from them. You will require partners to go through such depths in their relationship with you, that they may not be able to handle it. And on the other side of that, you may stay away from relationships because you may mistakenly feel like it brings out some of your “worst” qualities. With this Mars, you may go through a very intense relationship when you’re young, one where you give your all, I mean…you would kill or be killed for those you love, and because that relationship fails, you may never want to experience those types of lows again and stay away. You are one of the most loyal of the Mars placements, so you are very careful to study who exactly you are giving your loyalty to. I recommend with this placement, you may find yourself oddly attracted to Aquarian/11H energy. It sounds weird, water and air, but in this case, Aquarian energy is endlessly fascinating because they are so unorthodox, you will never truly figure them out, so you’re constantly intrigued by them. Aquarians also value loyalty the same way you do. They will allow you the freedom that you need to sit in your own emotions, but value the friendship in such a way, you won’t feel abandoned by them. Even if the people you are attracted to don’t have Aquarius in their chart, I think that quality is something you should consider when looking into intimate partners. It is probably the partner who gives you the most space and it is the hardest to figure out, that will give you the most in life. If you have a partner that is easy to conquer, not only will you be bored, but you can easily slip into those darker energies of control and manipulation to get you way…even when it’s unnecessary.

AAALLLL that said, you are still a hell of a lover! I mean…wow. You intricately know how to please and conquer. You use sex as a language itself when you’re ready and willing. And man, do you have a way with words. You can easily hypnotize a lover to fall under your command, so be careful with this gift. You are more than comfortable in this arena once you move past your fears in the subconscious. You can channel this energy, much like the exalt Mars in Capricorn to succeed with some of your greatest ambitions. You will put your sexual energy into your work and projects in a way like no other! Just don’t take everything so seriously! It’s okay to have a good time. Be intimate and open up some! You’ll enjoy getting your head out of the sand!

Mars in Libra or Mars in the 7th House

“What a rush & what a high, cause when your love don’t fight, smoke gets in your eyes” Smoke In Your Eyes by Skepta, Ossie, Harry Stone

If you came to this section thinking that I was going to talk about how sweet and balanced you are when it comes to your sexual language…THINK. AGAIN. BABE. You are nothing of the sort. Seems contradictory, huh? Because Libra/7H is all about balance, right? Well…not when it comes to this Mars placement.

If you have your natal Mars in Libra or the 7th House, you are quite the spicy lover. To be completely honest, Mars is VERY uncomfortable here. Why? Because Libra is naturally ruled by the planet Venus, which is essentially the opposite frequency of Mars. I like to think of Mars and Venus as the brother and sister planets of the Milky way. Traditionally ruled by Ares and Aphrodite in Greek mythology respectively, they are technically half-siblings. So when you think of this Mars placement, this of how a girlie-girl would feel surrounded by all boys at a football camp. Sure, she may attract a lot of attention and she may have plenty of options…but she will CERTAINLY have to set clear boundaries to command the respect she deserves, as well as deal with the fact that no one around her may have the same interest. See how this can be uncomfortable? It’s not the worst thing to happen, but it can cause you to feel like you have to play the field a little bit differently because of Mars being in the House of Libra.

Okay, so now that we covered why this placement might be different than what you were imagining, let’s get into what this post is actually about!

If you have this natal placement, your sex language is all about breaking up to make-up. Because you’re on this constant quest of seeking balance, YOU will subconsciously or consciously seek chaos in order to regain balance. Your indecisive and somewhat aloof nature in relationships can be a source of frustration when it comes to your sexual expression with your lovers. If you have Mars in your 7H, you genuinely LOVE conflicts and attract conflicts to your relationships. You can be quite passive aggressive, honestly, and stir the pot to get attention. AAALLLL this being said, you still enjoy the finer things and love the idea of love, even though you may not have the most direct way of going about it. Your partners may even find you hard to read, and this can frustrate you, because your wishy-washy-ness is so innate to you, you may have a tendency to think that everyone is as back and forth with decision making as you are.

Ironically, more so than any of the previous placements I have discussed before, I will focus more on what sexual language you like from your partner rather than yourself. Of course, you like good food, good wine, good clothes, good banter, good company…you have Libra, like DUH, but I want to offer a different perspective on this placement.

So when it comes to your partners, you truly like a partner who takes charge, regardless of sex. You crave a level of masculinity and directness in your love language because as I stated earlier, it can be difficult for you to make decisions for yourself. You overemphasize how people will perceive you, and this can cause you to stunt your decision making, so you’ll find yourself craving a partner who can be unabashedly unapologetic in their approach to life. You seek partners who are brave and courageous and you will find yourself testing anyone you fall in love with to see if they have that spark of passion in them. You may find yourself seeking different things from different people, so you may have multiple lovers– and just like how it may take you forever to pick out your outfit in the morning, it may take you forever to figure out what you value in a partner. It is important to note that Libra/7H energy is indeed a masculine energy. I’m sure most would assume it’s feminine because of the “sophisticated” and charismatically social nature usually associated with Libras, but when it comes to sexual relationships, Taurus/2H energy is the feminine side of Venus. Libra energy in this way is more detached than people would think. As stated earlier, because you enjoy dates, chatting, getting to know people, you may be a really good casual dater! This could send mixed messages to potential lovers because you may have never really had any intention of dating them long-term– or, you really just haven’t decided yet. Now are we starting to see how this Mars placement can attract certain conflict? You will desire and crave a partner that can make decisions for you. This may lead to some kinkiness in the bedroom because you’re open to compromise and you can be bossed around in this regard.

Overall your sexual language is complex because of the inherent contradiction of this natal placement. You can make this work in your favor as long as you keep open communication with your partner, even if it’s to tell them that you need some more time before you’re comfortable making any lasting decisions. When you date, you will have to allow your partners to understand your up & down nature. Most people will probably take your pragmatic nature personally, so if you can find a way to channel this into being sexually playful with your lovers, it can be a great way to keep romance fun and interesting. As stated in the beginning, you are most likely to end up in an on-again-off-again kind of relationship because you like for the scales to be tipped, so you can rebalance them. You are far more detached in commitments than most people would assume, so it is essential for you to date like-minded people who understand that your coldness is not a reflection on your feelings. You choose to remain objective in your judgements and seek fairness in your relationships—even if you are the one who was unfair to begin with! Kiss it kiss it better baby!!!!

Mars in Virgo or Mars in the 6th House

“I got commitment issues, but I’m tryna fix that for you…I don’t believe in love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t take you serious” Commitment Issues by Central Cee

With Mars in Virgo or the 6th House, you may be surprised to find how non-committal you are when it comes to relationships. Why? Because you find relationships to be impractical. So when it comes to your sexual language, you are quite all over the place. Lovers can find you hard to catch, almost like trying to keep a fairy in a jar. You prefer to flutter around and keep things light in the sexual department. To you, sex can scream responsibility. After all, sex can be a pretty risky and dirty affair. All the fluid exchange and, ultimately, the required vulnerability, can make you quite uneasy. With this Mars placement, you can go between the two extremes of putting too much emphasis on sex or not enough emphasis at all. This is due to the natural ruler of Virgo/6H being Mercury, which, I find to be, an asexual planet. You are more interested in the intellectual connection than the physical connection.

BUT PLEASE, don’t get me wrong! You know you’re way around the bedroom. Your sexual language is constantly evolving. You do well with long-term partners that you can trust, study and get to know. You prefer a lover that is loyal, so you don’t have to worry about where they’ve been, or better yet, who they’ve been with. You find joy in repetition with one partner. OR, you are really open to “protected” one-night stands. You are either all in or all out. You don’t like to waste time on sexual relationships that you don’t see a return for a long-term investment. That being said, if you are unable to invest in the long-term, you can find yourself in a position of sexual frustration. You may really desire a person, but because of your deep need for perfection first, you may stall connections & find a lot of pleasure in masturbation for the time being. You, like your opposite sign, Pisces, can really get into your fantasies. You may find that erotica and romance novels can be great resources to pass the time while you likely toil between celibacy and being a whore (this is particularly funny to me because Virgos are known for being the Virgins of the zodiac– hence the contradiction in Mars in Virgo. The planet of sex and desire ruled by a “Virgin” is, uh….a difficult juxtaposition to say the least.) – again, it’s all about mental stimulation with you.

When you do meet a partner that you can FINALLY settle down and feel comfortable with, you will be a very giving lover. Because Virgo energy is usually associated with servitude, you better believe that you will make it your duty to service the object of your affection. You care very deeply about the satisfaction of your partner— far more than you care about your own. As stated earlier, you don’t mind finishing up solo as long as your partner is satisfied. You will find every nook and cranny, every deep desire, every love spot that your partner has, because you will analyze their body with astute detail. You will break your partner’s sexual language down and adapt it to be your own, because after all, you are a mutable sign. As well as being an earth sign, you do have a very deep sensual nature to you. Although you can come across as quite guarded with new partners, once you blossom, you really enjoy heavy petting and physical touch. You can spend so much time in your head and alone with your thoughts in other aspects of your life, you may find it very powerful to have a partner that literally grounds you and brings you back to planet Earth by holding you in their arms. Again, after you’ve bent over backwards (pun intended) to please your partner, you, more than any other sign, except maybe Leo, really needs to be acknowledged and celebrated for your hard work. You don’t take kindly to being undervalued or under appreciated when it comes to your romantic relationships in this context.

Believe it or not, this placement can actually be quite kinky! Why? Because of the influence of Mercury again. As stated before, you want to learn your partner’s as well as you possibly can to make sure you are seen as perfect in their eyes– sooooo, that means you’ll have some exploring to do. Mercury is such a curious planet, that it may not be kinky for the sensual pleasures of it all, but it will be interested in testing out sex & kinks for “research purposes”. This can give you a sort of detached feeling when it comes to sex, which may or may not work in your favor– you’re able to disassociate in a way that makes sex almost an out of body experience…it may take you some time to actually feel pleasure from sex. You are so focused on the other and pleasing your partner, you can forget that sex is supposed to be a two way street! I just want to reiterate, that this placement is so mutable, that you may find yourself pretty ambivalent towards sex at different times in your life. You’re kind of like “eh”. But there is hope, when you find a partner that lights your fire– you will find yourself wanting sex like a child wants candy! There is plenty of potential here for a beautifully active and engaging sex life– it just may take more time to develop than others.

Learn your own kinks! Have fun! Explore the more sensual side of life for yourself!

Anyone who is able to win you over (which is NOT an easy feat by any means) will be able to revel in the fact that you are such a wonderful lover! But don’t forget, sex is not a test that you can get an A + in, it’s supposed to be the culmination and celebration of it all!

Mars in Leo or Mars in the 5th House

“She may be the queen of hearts, but I’m the queen of your body parts” - Cockiness, Rihanna

If you have Mars in Leo or Mars in the 5th House, you are Britney Spears, all eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus, bay-bee. You LOVE to put on a show. Your sexual language can make love-making a spectacle! You’re over the top, you’re loud, you roar. You LOVE LOVE LOVE the attention. So much so, you may not even need sex to fulfill that internal desire for you. Huh? What do I mean? I mean, you may be satisfied using your creative gifts for sexual gratification. Chances are with this placement, you are highly creative and charismatic. You find sensual pleasure in being able to share your creative gifts with other people. Haven’t you heard of entertainers saying they had so much fun on stage, it was orgasmic? That’s where you come in.

Ironically, I don’t naturally find this placement to be the most sexual. Don’t get me wrong, you are DOWN DIGGITY for a good time, but you really use sex as an ego booster. You may even be quite lazy in the bedroom. You could easily live by the code “my present is my presence” and be a dazzling pillow princess. This isn’t a bad thing, and it definitely doesn’t have to be the case all the time! When you’re turned on, you’re turned on, but when you’re just casually engaging in sex, or are in a long-term commitment, you may feel like sex is something that is owed to you. Not in a weird entitled way, but more like a Queen sitting on a chaise lounge being fed grapes– like, “duh, you should have sex with me, I’m beautiful”, type energy. This, if you haven’t been able to guess already, can lead to a selfish attitude in the love-making department. You must remember that sometimes, your partner wants to be catered to as well. That being said, you won’t shy away from Valentine’s Day. You are the type to go all out! You’ll put on the lingerie. You’ll lay out the rose petals on the bed. You’ll pay extra for that honeymoon suite. OR, you will expect your partner to do all of this without you asking. You treat holidays and sex as if it’s a royal affair.

Due to your standards being so high, I cannot express to you enough that you may really put all your sexual energy into your creative pursuits until you find a lover of high-value and high sex drive. You love and somewhat need to feel desired in order to break down your walls. You don’t play hard to get– you ARE hard to get, so this may leave you with extended periods of non-sexual activities. You are more than willing to give up sexual pleasure for your own personal pursuits– in fact, you are more likely to do that if you have specific career goals.

You may be a tad bit surprised at my interpretation of Mars in Leo, perhaps you were assuming it would be a bit spicier, but I challenge you to look at your ruler, the Sun (yes, the actual burning ball of fire in the sky) . Not literally…well, you can, but make sure you wear sun-glasses. But in all seriousness, the Sun shines alone. The Sun is too hot to let anything near it, and it carries such a gravitational pull, that things simply orbit around it, but can never get too close. With Mars in Leo/5th House, you may find yourself in this position when it comes to your sexual nature. You attract a lot of people towards you, but they are unable to get too close, for fear they will burn up in your presence. Or, you shine so bright, you are forced to do it alone. Being the Sun and the center of the Universe is a hard job, but ultimately an isolating job. Your being, your creative gifts, your star power and the way you shine can cast such a shadow on those who dare come near you. It really can be one of the most challenging placements because you probably won’t understand why people can’t/don’t come near you. Again, you’re just soooo great, people can have an overwhelming and unrealistic ideal of what it will take to make you happy. It’s a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s flattering, but on the other hand, you can suffer from being put so high up on a pedal stool that you never asked for!

One tip for you, is to keep your hair beautiful and lushes! People will be attracted to your wild side and want to bring that out of you. You can either really love having your hair pulled or be turned off by it because you spend so much time making it look perfect. Either way, your hair may be an essential part of foreplay for you and something that suitors may find undeniably sexy.

As long as you are mindful to share the spotlight from time to time and not always prioritizing your needs & your desires, you can be a remarkably loyal partner. Fierce is the word that comes to mind and you can be very fierce in the bedroom. (When you want to be.) You can outshine any of the competition. Most people truly can’t hold a candle to you when it comes to how committed you are in an intimate relationship. You are proud and you protect those that are around you and that you deem worthy. You have a royal air that surrounds you and it loudly and proudly screams `bow down bitches' when it's time to get down and dirty!

Mars in Cancer or Mars in the 4th House

“Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, you like your girls insane” Born to Die- Lana Del Rey

If you have Mars in Cancer or Mars in the 4th house, ironically, your sex language involves a knack of overwhelming emotional destruction. Dramatic, yes, yes, I know, but very true. Mars is VERY uncomfortable in the deep waters of Cancer/4H. Mars in the 4th House, in particular, is a naturally difficult placement because it sits in the House of happiness, as well as aspects the 7th House of partnership and the 11th House of friendship– making that native, uh, a little difficult to deal with. Why? Because your emotions can be so erratic and illogical, it can be difficult for people to understand what you want. Heck, you probably don’t understand what you want most of the time. I promise I’ll get to the good stuff, but keep in mind that this Mars placement is in detriment! (It’s exalted in Capricorn, the opposite sign.) So when it comes to your sexual language, you value such a deeply emotional commitment from your partner, you could constantly try to test them by pushing their emotional boundaries.

There is a mixture of pleasure and pain. You love an emotional outburst– this can be good and sexy, or bad and scary. Emotionally bonding make-up sex, is your cup of tea…ESPECIALLY if you are the one who caused the “break-up” in the first place. You truly enjoy engaging with your partner in a loving way, when you can, but because Mars is so unstable here, it can be hard for you to maintain emotional consistency within long-term relationships. You can find that your passions wax and wane for your partner. Sometimes, you just want to run into their arms and kiss them in the pouring rain, other times, you want them to LEAVE YOU DAFUQ ALONE. This can be quite jarring to your intimate partners, but also to yourself. I recommend embracing this quality and being as honest as possible! Instead of literally creating a sh*t storm in order to be left alone, just communicate to your partner that you need a little space from time to time. But also be willing to give your partner that same courtesy and grace if they ask for the same.

You can feel a need to wrap yourself up in your partner's desires. It may come from a genuine place, but because Mars is an aggressive planet, you may be quite aggressive in how you demonstrate your love to your partner because your deepest desire is to be able to emotionally control them. This can manifest in an extremely emotionally manipulative way through passive aggressiveness and just causing overall uneasiness within your dynamics and partnerships. One of the lovely sides about this particular placement, is when you mature, you can have an extremely high emotional I.Q. Because you are naturally very sensitive to your surroundings, you can literally sense the emotional and physical needs of your partner without them having to say a word. You can be so emotionally intune with your lovers, it can feel like telepathy if they need anything from you. You just know, y’know?

In the bedroom, you can go from one extreme to another. Sometimes you want to be dominant, and sometimes you want to be dominated. It is important for your lovers to be able to ride your waves and learn what is needed from them at any given moment. Again, Mars is all about conquest. So when Mars is in the 4H in particular, you want to be able to be the leader in your home, but you also want someone who can take the reins when necessary. Again, this can be a difficult balance to strike within your sexual relationships because people may not understand the method behind the madness, typically because there really isn’t a method…it’s just kind of madness AND THAT’S OKAY!

Because Mars is so uncomfortable here, it is imperative for you to be able to channel your energy in creative ways or you can fall victim to your own emotional tirades. You want a clear line of communication with anyone you are interested with and they absolutely need to have some emotional intelligence or else they will drown in your water. You don’t want to suffocate your lovers with so much emotional intensity, that you both are unable to remain somewhat grounded in the chaos. You of all people understand just how powerful emotions and sex can be together, so be careful to use it wisely!!! When done right, you can have anyone wrapped around your finger.

Mars in Gemini or Mars in the 3rd House

“Talk is cheap my darling, when you’re feeling right at home. I wanna make you move with confidence. I want to be with you alone” Talk is Cheap by Chet Faker

If you have Mars in Gemini or Mars in the 3rd House, then you are all about an intellectual connection when it comes to your sexual language. You want to catch viiibbbeezzz. You want to be razzle-dazzled with the lingo. You want someone hip, cool, in the know…because, well, you’re hip, cool & in the know, y’know? It’s only fitting that your partner be the same. You, of all placements, may truly crave “your other half”. And I know, I know, we live in a world now, where people are saying “you are a whole person and you’re looking for another whole person yadayadayada…”, but you’re a TWIN. You want to be able to connect with someone as if you share the same brain, the same thoughts, the same…everything. This isn’t to say that you’re not sexual…you just enjoy mental jousting for foreplay. Think of how beautiful the dance between two evenly matched fencing partners is– the ebb and flow of tension – playing both parts of the aggressor and the defender– gliding almost effortlessly with a weapon in hand. It’s like the tango…but with swords. That’s how you envision your love. Beautiful art, yet dangerous. You may not be the most sensual lover at first, but in time you will certainly warm up. Why? Because at the very least, you are a curious partner! You. Want. To. Explore. You may be the type of lover to want to try almost anything once. You want to be surprised. You don’t want your bedroom to be boring. You resent repetitiveness and you welcome new experiences. You may even fall into the “switch my wig, make ‘em feel like he cheating” category. You like to switch up your look, your style…sexual positions (lol). This can even translate into role play! (Especially teacher/student).

I cannot express to you enough how much learning from your partner turns you on. You love asking questions & consider getting to know someone a conquest. The more difficult the puzzle, the more you yearn to solve it and this type of stimulation oozes over into your sexual pleasure. You’re curious to know what your lover’s love. You can have an objective perception of sex, because you aren’t the most naturally emotional person, so you can look at the love making process as getting to know every nook and cranny of a partner’s body– learning what makes them tick & “ick”. You become more emotionally open with a partner, the more confident that you are that you know them. You like learning, but you don’t like unpleasant surprises. This may be counter intuitive, but I find that after you go through your “lemme try any & everything era”, you will genuinely enjoy one partner. It will make you feel secure and like you have that missing piece in life. You don’t come across as the most committal type, but when you do commit, you commit fr fr, you just need a certain level of freedom in life to continue to expand your horizons far past the mundane in life.

Another element you may add to your sexual reservoir is……drugs. “DON’T DO DRUGS, KIDS & STAY IN SCHOOL”...alright, there is my disclaimer. Now back to what I was saying, you may be curious to try mind-expanding drugs & smex. Because you can be so cerebral, drugs like ecstacy can help you actually feel your body. The tingle will start from your subconscious mind, and venture into your conscious body, possibly making love-making a more pleasurable experience. If this doesn’t interest you, don’t worry, no pressure! Just making a note that this placement is more likely to think outside of the box when it comes to making their sex lives thrilling and exciting! Not saying that vanilla sex is boring…just saying in general. You do you!

Overall, this is a curious placement. It’s a fun placement, but it can be an extremely flighty placement in the beginning. Don’t let your fear of getting stuck, stop you from finding a true partner that you can really see the world with. You can find that “other half”, that “twin soul” that really knows how to light a fire in you and warm your cold cold cold gemini heart. In your moments of passion, you will prefer to keep things fun and light. Only when someone truly captures your mind, can they capture your body and soul! SEXYYYYYY!!!!

Mars in Taurus or Mars in the 2nd House

“People stop to ask me, how do you please your man? Take it from the black sheep baby, any way I can. Sometimes it’s with fire and sometimes, with ice…Just don’t get it twisted, his body’s gunna pay the price.”

- Rock My Boy’s Body by Joseph Stephens

If you have Mars in Taurus or Mars in the 2nd House your sexual language is about sensuality, sexuality, & seduction. You believe in making love an all encompassing experience and you will stop at nothing to make sure your partners have an all exclusive pass to your BO-DAY. IF it is earned. Because Taurus is naturally slow moving energy, you may be slow to open up. As I’ve studied astrology for years now…I’ve come to realize that Taurus energy is just as private and cautious and it’s opposite sign, Scorpio. If you have this placement, you feel the need to study your lovers and you wait and wait and wait and wait and wait before you make your move. But if you are able to wrap them in your warm embrace…you won’t want to let go and they won’t want you to either.

Like Leo, when it comes to your sexual language, you believe in putting on a show. But your show is subtle, quaint and slow burning. You will have the candles burning, the scented lotion and fresh out the shower smell, you will have the most luxurious sheets on the most comfortable mattress. You don’t believe in cutting corners when it comes to your comfort and whoever is lucky enough to wind up in your bed, simply gets to enjoy how you live your life. I could bet you have an impeccable taste in music and truly know how to set the tone when it comes to seduction. As stated before, you are able to create a world of pure pleasure for those you love and make them spell-bound to you, because chances are, they haven’t been able to match with a sexual partner who cares so much about the details of ALL 6 senses. (I’m including intuition because, y’know, I’m a tarot and an astrology girlie.) For example, I dated this guy with heavy taurus placements a few years ago. I very much remember and very much miss this awesome TV room that he made for himself. Instead of having a regular degular couch, he had a couch that was also a bed. It wasn’t a couch that converted into a bed….it was just a couch that had a bed in it…and massive 70 inch television mounted on the wall. When I TELL you, I wanted to marry that man because….UGH!!! I was so comfortable! I could melt into the floor when I was with him. And I have YET to be with anyone who has a room set up quite like that. The feeling has stayed with me long after we have been together. THAT is what I mean by the power of Mars in Taurus. It lingers when you’re done!

On the other side, you of all signs, can be extremely jealous and possessive over your sexual partners. You DO NOT LIKE TO SHARE. AT. ALL. The 2nd House is all about owning and possessions and you may take this mindset with you into your romantic relationships. To the right person and in a healthy way, this can be enduring and make your partner feel safe and secure in your presence. In turn, you also want to know that your partner is crazy about you and cares deeply about your well-being. Again, in a healthy dynamic, a little jealousy and possessivness isn’t bad. It can show that someone does have an interest in you and takes pride in the fact that they are able to claim you as their own. This is just something to be mindful of in this placement, because if underdeveloped, it can lead to issues of selfishness & strong resistance to allow your partner’s freedom. Of course this can bleed over into the bedroom as well. You don’t want to get so focused on your own comfort that you end up putting your partner into a routine that they no longer enjoy. Your favorite position may not be their favorite positive. It can feel like eating lobster every single day. Like, yeah, Lobster is great day 1, maybe even day 2, but by day 5….yuck. Depending on other placements in your chart, you may attract partners who are very much like you, in the sense they prefer routine, OR you may attract partners who are so wild and out of the box, it forces you out of your comfort zone. All I can do is say embrace whatever floats your boat.

There is no doubt that you are one of the most sexual, sensual and passionate lovers of the zodiac. Your innate knowledge of pleasure makes you an expert in the bedroom and you can be hard to beat. Although it may take you a while to warm up, either physically or emotionally, you eventually show your partners that it is absolutely worth the wait! Because you tend to be safe and secure in yourself (the 2nd house rules self esteem) you share that safety and extend your protection to those you love the most. Your sexual language is unforgettable. You know how to love someone head to toe! WOOOOO!!!

Mars in Aries or Mars in the 1st House

“Dollhouse, dressed up, perfect messed up, Torture me to sleep, paint the air I breathe. Fishbowl, chokehold, dirty water, I’m cold. Dirty as can be, have your way with me.” Dollhouse (with Lily Rose Depp) by The Weeknd

If you have Mars in Aries or Mars in the 1st House, your sexual language is intense & powerful. You have a way of pulling people into your orbit just by being your unapologetic self! The force is with you! Best believe! And people feel it. You get what you want and you want what you get and you have a way of luring in your prospective sexual partner by projecting your lust onto them– so much so they feel it when they walk by you. Much like your sister, the Mars ruled Scorpio, there is a carnal desire that surrounds you. It’s magnetic. It’s magnificent. And it’s very fleeting.

When it comes to your bedroom pleasures, you can be a pioneer of the “Wham! Bam! Thank you ma’am or…sir” (not as cute of a rhyme) mindset. You may have a habit of treating your lovers like conquest– wanting to overpower them and wrap them up in your passionate fantasies. You deeply enjoy power play in your sex life. Yes, you could easily be the dominant one in your relationships, BUT you could also seek refuge in being submissive to your partner. How? I know it seems contradictory. But chances are, with this placement (unless it’s in a water sign in your first house) you are more than likely the boss and the leader in your everyday life…so when it comes to sex, you may want to just “relax” and let your partner do all the hard work for once. If that’s the case, you may be a bit of a brat in the bedroom because you still like to challenge your partner for shizz & giggles, but you are certainly fun and definitely unforgettable.

Your sex language is raw and real. You don’t like to hold back your passion and you appreciate a partner who can match your enthusiasm in the bedroom. You love the runner chaser dynamic, and again, you can easily play both parts. You are strong and competitive and don’t like to lose the interest of your lovers, even though you can get bored pretty easily. You may prefer quickies over long drawn up love sessions, but that doesn’t mean you don’t like to indulge your sinuses from time to time– you’re just not one of the most lovey dovey of the zodiac and prefer loud, wild, hot, steamy sex opposed to soft caresses and whispers of sweet nothings. You may also be a person who uses sexy time to advance a certain agenda. You could use sex as a tool of manipulation to get what you want. That may seem extreme, but think about a stripper using her sensuality as a means to make money so she can pay her way through law school. THAT’S what I mean. Because you may not be so shy about your sex appeal, if used correctly, it can be your weapon of choice when it comes to getting what you want from someone.

Passion matters to you more than most. You would prefer a risky lover than a predictable one. You also may be a fan of the ole’ break up to make-up trope. Make-up sex is always better. And you don’t mind starting a fight in the streets, simply to uh…you know…end it….in the sheets…..if you catch my drift. You aren’t one for subtleties. You are probably one of the most straightforward and upfront people in the world and you may play shy, but once you allow a person to get to know you, you don’t hold anything back. Because you are a cardinal energy, you always have a childlike flair to you! You keep things interesting and youthful. You’re not afraid to cross boundaries and push the limits of yourself & your partner in the midst of a sexual act. You really may think that sex is something that can be “won”. You want to be the best. You want to be the one that lovers can’t get enough of. You don’t appreciate being compared to others and honestly hear partners talking about their past as if it was some sort of challenge. You definitely have a jealous and possessive streak, but like I always say, when this is a healed energy it can be enduring to the right partner. As long as it’s not obsessive and unhealthy, you can provide comfort to your lovers that you are there for them and only them. You expect loyalty in return, of course, but you don’t mind protecting and defending what you see as your own. Your love is real. Your love is honest. Your love is young and wild and free!

[dedalvs]

My brother and I absolutely cackled after that Aemond and Aegon Valyrian exchange!

I wanted to ask (and I'm terrible at conlangs, so forgive me) what grammar/syntax Aegon is stumbling over here and how to properly say what he intended to? Any why is he making thise mistakes (simply lacking the vocabulary, or rules of the language he hasn’t grasped)?

Let's take a look at it. This is what he said:

Nyke koston... Bēvilus... Sētegon bīlīvāzmi?

The subtitles say this:

"I can... Have to... Make a war?"

Prior to this Aemond is, essentially, showing off. He knows that Aegon has simply not put any time into studying Valyrian (or studying anything). At this stage, Valyrian is no longer spoken by the family on a day-to-day basis—especially as Alicent probably never learned it at all (or if she did, only in a few scattered lessons here and there; not to actually use). In order for either of the boys to gain any kind of fluency in the language, they have to study constantly and find ways to use it. There's simply no daily need for the language—and plenty of reasons not to use it, as very, very few people they'll encounter on a daily basis speak the language.

Now, if we were talking about two random people in Westeros, this wouldn't mean anything. But these are the children of Viserys Targaryen, himself a descendant of Aegon the Conqueror. They brought their family line and their culture with them to Westeros—and, of course, their language. If someone like Alicent Hightower doesn't speak High Valyrian it means nothing. If a Targaryen doesn't speak High Valyrian, though… See, they're supposed to be able to speak Valyrian. Failing to do so carries with it a sense of shame that isn't present for a random person who doesn't speak Valyrian. Aemond knows this. Aegon is annoying him, so he goes poking at that wound.

Aemond could have fed him a short line with an obvious answer to help Aegon out, but instead he threw a whole mess of Valyrian at him. The longer it goes on, the more lost Aegon gets, desperately trying to catch up and figure out what was just said and thereby missing what is being said at that instant. From the whole speech, Aegon probably only figured out that he was being asked a question, and it was something having to do with planning.

So, back to what he says. The beginning student of a language is quite adept at doing a single verb in a present tense sentence. In a discussion like this, though, you're typically saying things like "I think that" or "We should" or "I suggest" or "Perhaps we might", etc. All that stuff that we need to offer opinions, make suggestions, hedge, etc. Much more than simple narration.

Aegon is attempting to do this without a sufficient command of the language. He knows some vocabulary, he knows some grammar, but he simply did not put in the work to actually speak this language. Thus, he has to overcome a lot of Common Tongue (i.e. English) interference.

There are many differences between Valyrian and English, but the biggest one by far is the major word order. In English, the verbs come before the rest of the junk; in Valyrian, they come at the end. And this is how things get all messed up.

In English, you start the sentence saying things like "I think" or "We should" or "It seems". In Valyrian, those things come at the end. If you start with the Valyrian equivalent of "I think", you will quickly realize (presuming you know enough of the grammar) that you're sunk, because once you've said it, the sentence should be done. Thus you get Aegon's false starts.

Starting at the beginning, Aegon says Nyke koston, which is kind of like saying, "I could". But there's nowhere to go. This is how a sentence ends. For example, if he wanted to say, "I could fly to Harrenhal", he would say Harenhalot sōvegon koston—literally "To Harrenhal fly I could". If you're thinking English-ly, you're essentially thinking backwards, and if you simply translate what you're thinking, you'll immediately have nowhere to go. You'll have to take a pause and think about how to get started again. And that's exactly what happens here.

Now, leaving aside that Valyrian is a pro-drop language and starting it off with nyke "I" is unnecessary and makes you look like a beginner, koston isn't bad (I mean, if used sentence-finally). Once he realizes he can't start there, though, he loses confidence. It's those old High Valyrian lessons all over again, and some maester suggesting he hasn't studied. That self-doubt makes his facility with Valyrian worse. This means his chances of recovery are severely hampered.

But onward he presses, and he decides to say "We have to" or "I have to". Now, the problem here is in Valyrian that requires the verb bēvilagon. This verb isn't used in the usual way. Literally it means "to lie on". If you wanted to say "We must mobilize our dragons", you'd say Īlvī zaldrīzī mazannagon īlo bēvilza. That's literally "Our dragons to mobilize us it lies upon". The one who must do something is placed in the genitive and put directly before the verb. If you start with the verb, well, you missed your chance to say who it is that must be doing something—let alone what they must do. Another false start.

It's also worth noting that he says bēvilus as opposed to bēvilza. Let's ignore that it's the aorist and focus on the fact that it's the subjunctive (just like koston). You use the subjunctive with your main verb when you're hedging—when you're suggesting. Not when you're commanding. Kind of an odd thing to say "We must do this" with the subjunctive. Kind of like saying "Maybe we might considering having to do this".

At this point, his confidence has completely evaporated. Everybody's staring at him like he has no idea what he's talking about; Aemond's eating it up. He knows he's cooked. He's got to say something, though, so he says sētegon which isn't even conjugated. It means "to make" or "to create", which might make sense in English (e.g. "to make war"), but doesn't make sense in Valyrian (a bit like saying "to construct a war" or even "to bake a war") and then tries to pronounce vīlībāzmi "war" (wrong case/number, wrong order) and fails, saying bīlīvāzmi, which means nothing (also he wanted vīlībāzme. Vīlībāzmi is "wars").

Long story short, he doesn't present himself very well—and we didn't even talk about his general pronunciation or intonation. It's kind of a great big mess in only five words. A true disaster.

But if there were no expectation that he should be able to speak Valyrian, none of this would matter! If there were no shame associated with him specifically not being able to speak Valyrian no one would expect it of him, and this challenge would mean as little as someone challenging him to speak the Old Tongue or Asshai'i. It'd be meaningless.

In short, this small portion of this scene is about being a heritage speaker of a language. It's the exact nightmare scenario all heritage speakers fear: To be put on stage and made to perform despite being unequal to the task while simultaneously feeling that they should be equal to it.

It'd be so cool if it was okay to be kind of good with a language—if that level of mastery was acceptable. In the real world, anyway.

[lamiadrowned]

jinx as a gf headcanons!!!! :D

*:･ﾟ✧ dating jinx

jinx x fem!reader | sfw

i have so many thoughts. maybe too many thoughts

it would be an understatement to say that you see a side of her that no one else has.

in all actuality, you bring out a side of jinx that she didn’t even know was there.

when she’s around you, she feels stable. the voices are quiet and her heart beats noticeably slower. it seems you have this physical effect on her– an ability to erase the despair of everything that has ever gone wrong and all of the worries she has about things that could go wrong in the future.

so, naturally, she’s possessive over you.

it has a lot less to do with you than it has to do with others, though.

for example, if she takes you out and you decide to wear an outfit that shows off some skin? she’s all for it! in fact, she prefers it that way for her own… personal reasons.

and that guy, the one who spent a little too long raking his prying eyes over your figure? she’ll teach him a lesson about window-shopping for something that isn’t available.

not only does she get to try out some new explosives she’d made, but she also gets to feel fulfilled by protecting you! it’s a win-win.

you’d definitely be her first kiss.

with everything she’s been through, jinx hadn’t ever seen romance as anything more than a disaster waiting to happen until she met you. she truly believed she was unlovable until she met you, and now, she’s a total sap.

her biggest love languages are quality time and physical touch.

if she could spend every second of the day with you, she could. even when she’s on a mission, or spending some time with silco, instead– the thought of you never leaves her mind.

on the occasions that she does get you all to herself, she doesn’t let a single second go to waste.

the trophy goes to jinx for ‘clingiest girlfriend in the world’. her hands are constantly on you in one way or another. whether she’s smothering you in cuddles, playing with your hair or tracing patterns on your skin, or even jumping up onto your back with no warning just for the sake of feeling close to you, she’s a fiend for you in every sense of the word.

at first, she was afraid she’d drive you away once she discovered just how attached she is to you.

until she realized that you reciprocate every gesture with the same amount of enthusiasm.

most of the time, she prefers being at your home as opposed to her own. her room isn’t exactly a room, and it definitely isn’t as comfortable as yours. you’ve even given her a key so that she can pop in even while you aren’t home, because you know how much she likes being there.

and, as much as you enjoy when she spends the night, sleeping with her can be an absolute nightmare.

you’d fall asleep in each other’s arms with both of your heads on the same pillow, and wake up in the morning to the feeling of her cold foot jammed into your cheek, her head hanging off the side of the bed as she snores, cocooned in the deepest state of sleep possible.

speaking of which, she sleeps like a rock and wouldn’t even stir at the sound of an explosion.

it’s rare that she actually gets a full night of rest, so it makes sense that her body would take advantage of when she does, but it’s slightly concerning. if it weren’t for the fact that she snores, you’d probably think she died in her sleep.

you don’t discover this trait of hers until she’s fully comfortable with you, but she loves to dance (if it can even be considered that) and not stop until you join her.

it really depends on the music, whether she’s butchering the bachata, full-on headbanging, or inviting you to slow dance.

she loves to do your hair, whether it’s curly or straight. sometimes she’ll do braids, sometimes she’ll put a bunch of hair clips and accessories into it, sometimes she’ll totally knot your hair while trying something new.

lastly, jinx will know that you’re the one when silco approves of you. he sees how unconditional your love is, and the difference you’ve made in her is astounding.

he won’t tell her he approves until he talks to you, though. he’d sent one of his men to politely request that you meet him in his office while jinx is working.

as expected, he fully embodies the shotgun dad stereotype– “if i find out you’ve hurt my daughter, there will be serious consequences,” all that fun stuff, simply to gauge your reaction.

he was relieved to find that you weren’t intimidated, because you didn’t intend on hurting her.

despite the unconventional dynamic, he wants what any father wants; to see his daughter happy. as long as you’ve succeeded at that, you’ve earned his protection and respect.

and, most of all, his approval.

[hgfictionwriter]

Jackpot

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: You and Jessie place a bet - neither of you think the other can survive a month without sex. Winner gets to have their way with the other.

Warnings: G!P smut. Edging/teasing, masturbation, cunnilingus, marathon sex, unprotected/risky sex, breeding/preg kink.

A/N: I combined a few requests to write this fic. It's LONG. Hopefully still good though. Hope you enjoy.

“You are so handsy tonight,” you laughed as Jessie wrapped her arms around your waist while you cleaned up after dinner.

“I can’t help it if you’re attractive,” Jessie reasoned, unbothered.

You pushed your hips back into her, giving a purposeful roll of them and bit back a smug smirk at the low groan that came from her.

“And you do things like that,” she complained before giving you a slow, teasing kiss at the nape of your neck, causing a shiver to go down your spine.

You tucked your head down, raising your shoulder and pulling away slightly, snickering at how she let out a noise of disappointment.

“I have to finish cleaning up. And I have to finish some work tonight. I can’t get,” you paused to give her an amused, but pointed look, “distracted.”

Jessie grumbled furthermore, resting her head heavily on your shoulder.

You turned in her arms, wrapping yours around the back of her neck now and not able to help yourself from smiling as her pout slowly transformed into a small smile. You gently rolled yourself against her and bit the inside of your lip at how her eyes drifted shut at the action. You loved even more how you could feel her starting to grow hard against you.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you said, a slight lilt in your voice, “I love how hot we are for each other.” You smirked, reaching between your bodies and gently rubbing her through her pants. “And how hard you get for me.”

“But?” Jessie asked, forcing herself to open her eyes and look at you as you teased her.

“But nothing,” you shrugged. A thought crossed your mind and you couldn’t entirely hold back your laugh. She frowned at you in question.

“[Y/friend] was talking about ‘No nut November’ and,” you looked her up and down rather smugly, “I’m not sure you’d be able to make it.”

Jessie’s jaw dropped, blatantly affronted by the accusation.

“Are you serious?” She asked, holding her hands up in defense. You leaned in, trying to give her an appeasing kiss on the check but she dodged it. “No. No, you don’t get any kisses after that.” You laughed and gave her an apologetic look.

“I was just teasing,” you said.

“No,” Jessie said, folding her arms across her chest though a smirk now crossed her lips. “You weren’t kidding. You think I’m just horned up and can’t behave myself? We’ll see about that,” she went on rather haughtily. “You’re just as bad as me.”

You narrowed your eyes at her playfully. “Really now.”

“Really. I bet that you can’t go a month without us having sex,” Jessie challenged, head held high.

“Oh my god,” you said, rolling your eyes before mimicking her body language. “I bet you can’t either. One month, no sex.” You tapped your chin in contemplation. “We can masturbate once a week; we’ll just have to do that on the honour system.”

Jessie chuckled. “And what does the winner get?”

“Whatever kind of sex they want,” you said as you cocked your head. You held up a hand, “Within reason. It has to be consensual, of course, but you get the idea.”

“I do,” Jessie said before holding out her hand. “Deal.” You took her hand and gave it a shake.

“Deal.”

—————

To say the following weeks were a challenge would be a massive understatement. You’d gone in rather confident, thinking of all the ways you’d tease Jessie, but you didn’t anticipate how she’d tease you back.

There were many close calls. For both of you. And if it was anyone other than Jessie, you probably would’ve laughed off the bet, but as with anything else in her life, she was taking it very seriously.

You learned the night the bet was made, in fact, how seriously she was taking it. You’d gotten into bed after her and scooched up against her, your ass on her hips and nestled in. Immediately, she grunted and shifted back, a totally foreign reaction to you. You complained and pulled her arm around your waist to spoon you.

“I just want to cuddle,” you said. But that was quickly disproved when you began to grind back against her. She’d jerked away and grumbled something about you not playing nice and went to sleep on the other side of the bed.

The next morning, Jessie went out for a run and when she came back she put on a bit of a show, though she’d never admit it, but she knew damn well it would drive you wild.

She came into the bedroom, you still lying in bed, and lifted up her shirt to wipe the sweat off her face. She was well aware of your eyes on her sweat covered abs.

When she took off her shirt, she let down her hair and pushed it back, her biceps flexing as she did so and she turned to speak to you, arms still flexed. She made up some excuse to reach for something across the bed, reaching over you, her sweaty, sexy body brushing against you.

She nonchalantly went about her routine, closing out with coming to speak to you fresh from her shower, a towel held precariously in front of her cock, but the rest of her body on display.

“That’s your one for the week,” she said pointedly with a knowing smirk at the end of your conversation. She turned to leave, your cheeks reddening as she walked away. Guess you weren’t as quiet and discrete as you thought you were when she was in the shower.

The days carried on like that. Some flirtations subtle, like a hand brushing against a thigh or a waist. You wearing sexy underwear and make sure she got a glimpse. Some less subtle. Like when she not so subtly came out to the couch and sat down in boxers and a sports bra, legs spread and hands behind her head as you watched a show.

You reciprocated by turning to her, kissing her on the shoulder and down her chest, pulling an unfiltered glare from her. Undeterred, you looked down at the subtle bulge that was beginning to form in her boxers and sat back up and began to pull your hair back into a ponytail.

You forced yourself to not react as she watched you steadily, almost a sense of disbelief on her face before you sat back and returned to watching your show. You snickered at the frustrated exhale she released.

The worst of all was when you’d been out with friends one night and your hand wandered as Jessie drove you back home. She’d complained about how that wasn’t fair and was a borderline violation. You stopped, but you didn’t recall rules around words.

“God, baby. I’m dripping wet for you. My panties are soaked because I want your hard cock inside of me so badly. I want to feel you stretching me out, my needy pussy wrapping tightly around you. I want your hips slamming into me as you fill me up so good again and again.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Jessie said chastising, though by the look of the growing tent in her pants, in arousal as well. “That’s not allowed.”

“Dirty talk wasn’t included in the rules,” you argued.

“It’s simulating sex though, so it’s against the rules,” Jessie argued.

“What are you going to do, baby?” You asked as you eyed her. “I know you already got yourself off earlier this week. Want me to take care of you?”

“No,” Jessie said curtly, her grip tightening on the steering wheel while she pulled into your parkade.

She got out of the car in a huff and you stifled a laugh as she rounded the car, her erection obvious as her pants stretched tightly across her.

You were about to make a smart remark when she pushed you against the car and ground herself into you as she met you in a heated, hard kiss. Though surprised, a moan worked its way up your throat as she bent her knees and pushed her hips up and into you, the firmness in her pants pressing against your heat and causing an immediate reaction in you.

You made out, shamelessly grinding against one another.

“You can take me upstairs, you know,” you offered.

“Are you asking me to?” Jessie asked between kisses.

“No,” you forced yourself to say. “I’m just saying you can if you like.”

“No can do, babe,” she said with a crooked grin. “As much as I want to, that’d be admitting defeat. Not going to happen. But if you want me to carry you upstairs and pound you until you’re screaming my name, your legs shaking as you cum all over my cock, I’d love to.”

You whined, your knees almost growing weak at the visual, but you found your resolve and turned her down.

The challenges escalated that night until you mutually decided to call a truce and stop teasing each other. It was an uncomfortable time for both of you coming down off of your arousal without any real relief, but stubbornness won out.

You were about a week away from the month being over when Jessie and you were on the couch watching a show together, you cuddled in next to her with her hand on your thigh. Her hand gently caressed you, very slowly moving higher until you shot her a look of warning.

“No?” She asked, a glint in her eye. “Is it getting you worked up?” You grumbled.

“You know it is,” you said as you nudged her.

“That’s too bad,” she said lightly. “I like touching you, knowing how you’re getting wet as you start thinking about my fingers or my cock or tongue in you.”

“Babe,” you scolded.

“And too bad you already used up your one pass for the week already,” she said with a fake look of apology. “I, however, have not. And, what can I say, thinking about you gets me worked up, too.”

She glanced down, drawing attention to the bulge starting to form in her pants. Before you could think of what to do or say, she undid her pants, shimmying them down her legs until she was clad in her boxers.

Your jaw dropped. Was she going to do what you thought she was? Jessie had never masturbated in front of you. By the time you looked up at her she had a faint blush on her face, but it was overshadowed by a smug smirk as she reached into her boxers and pulled out her swelling cock.

You let out a small exhale and she nipped at your neck.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She asked.

“This can’t be fair,” you told her.

“There’s no rule against it,” she countered as she licked her hand and began to stroke herself up and down. She locked eyes with you. “See what you do to me?”

“Oh God,” you said as your hand came to the back of your neck and rubbed agitatedly.

“How is it making you feel, baby?” She asked. “You seem restless,” she went on as she grew to full length and slowly pumped herself up and down. “I wish this was your hand. Or your mouth,” she said with a look to your lips.

She circled the thick head of her cock with her thumb. “And of course even better if I was slipping inside of your heat. I can practically feel your walls gripping me, pulling me in and massaging me.”

“I thought you said this kind of talk was against the rules,” you said as you squeezed your legs together in a vain attempt to find some relief.

A faint laugh escaped Jessie’s mouth as she nodded towards your lap.

“I know you’re thinking about how good it would feel - me filling you up, so deep inside of you. God,” she picked up her pace, letting her head fall back against the couch, “I can practically hear it. How wet it sounds every time I thrust in and out of you. I love the way you drip down my cock; knowing I made you that wet.”

You watched her, her hips thrusting up into her fist, the visual she painted for you, all the while a cute frown on her face as her cheeks reddened.

This whole bet was ridiculous.

You reached out, placing your hand over hers. She stopped the second you touched and looked over at you in surprise.

“I give up,” you told her. “I don’t care anymore. I want you. I’m so desperate for you.”

She seemed to process your words for a moment before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she smiled.

“Thank god,” she said in blatant relief. Her smile grew as you stood up and began taking your clothes off in a rush. She reached up now and then to help you and took off her clothes fully as well.

"God, you're gorgeous," she breathed as you pushed her back against the couch and were about to straddle her. You let out a small squeal of surprise when she flipped you so you were sitting and she was on top, swiftly dropping to her knees in front of you. She locked eyes with you and pushed your legs apart.

"Oh fuck yeah," she said appreciatively as her eyes fell to your dripping wet entrance. "God, I've missed you so much," she said, her shoulders falling as she spoke.

She reached under your legs, her arms hooking under your thighs and she pulled you to the edge of the couch. Not bothering with her typical teasing or foreplay, she buried her face in your slick folds right away and lapped hungrily at you, drawing a cry from you immediately. You clawed desperately at the couch moments in, the feel of her tongue and mouth on you something you'd been craving for weeks and been denied.

"Oh my God, Jess," you panted. "That feels so good," you breathed as she rocked her face into you and sucked on your clit.

You bucked your hips up into her as she tended to you with a determination and drive that had you peaking within a few short minutes. She licked and sucked and it sounded messy and wet, and it felt so incredibly good.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum already," you said, your face tensing up as your impending orgasm approached. She simply moaned and continued to care for you, her attention not wavering in the least.

Inevitably, your orgasm came crashing down on you. Your thighs flexed around her head and your hips jerked erratically up into her. It was so intense that any moan was caught in your throat and came out a strangled whimper instead.

When Jessie came up for air, she wiped her face with a shirt off the floor, rest her arms across your thighs and leaned up to kiss you. You languidly kissed her back, still finding your way through your post-bliss haze.

"I won the bet, right?" You heard her say as she settled back onto her heels. You slowly opened your eyes to see her looking at you curiously. You gave a nod.

“Yeah, I hate to admit it, but you did,” you said with a wry chuckle. You gave her a small smirk. “Which means,” you sat up, cupping her face and kissing her slowly, “you get to have your way with me.”

You watched as Jessie immediately grew flushed, her gaze flicking away momentarily. You cocked your head at her and couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What? Isn’t it a good thing?”

“It’s not necessary. It was just a fun bet. There’s no need. I didn’t have anything in mind,” Jessie went in to kiss you and you allowed it, but pulled back shortly.

“Wait. That can’t be true. You held on for that long, that determinedly, with nothing in mind?” You asked skeptically.

“Yeah, I'm competitive,” Jessie reiterated though the deeper shade of her cheeks and nervous smile told you there was more to it. You narrowed your eyes at her.

“Babe. Just tell me. I want to know,” you insisted. She didn’t immediately reject your request, but shied away still. You implored further. “Come on. Please. I want to know. And who knows? Maybe I wanted the same!”

“I doubt that,” Jessie returned with no hesitation. Now you were really curious.

“Well now you definitely have to tell me,” you said.

She looked away and chewed the inside of her cheek before huffing quietly and running a hand through her hair. She eventually looked back at you, holding your gaze but remaining wordless.

“Please tell me,” you urged softly as you cupped her face and thumbed her cheeks gently with one hand, but grasped her length with the other and stroked slowly. Her eyes closed momentarily before she held your gaze for a few long seconds and spoke.

“You can say ‘no’. Please know that. I 100% won’t mind. I only want to do it if you’re into it, too.” She waited for you to acknowledge her and you gave a nod. “I want to be inside of you, but…” her gaze flit about, “no condom.”

“Oh,” you said, many tones in one. She immediately looked concerned and you head her off. “That’s all?”

She frowned. “Yeah? I mean. It’s risky - you’re not on birth control. And I mean, I could pull out! But I know that’s still risky, so I totally get it if you aren’t comfortable."

“That sounds hot to me,” you responded, not needing long to think and she looked suspicious.

“Seriously?”

“Mmhmm,” you voice as you scooted to the edge of the cushion. You grabbed her hand and placed it between your legs, ensuring her fingers came into contact with the wetness that was already starting to form again.

“In case you need convincing,” you whispered in her ear. She groaned and her fingers began to massage you.

Her cock twitched when she felt how wet you were. She rose up onto her knees, grasping your ass and pulling you even further off the cushion. You let out a small yelp, but laughed as she smirked at you and began rubbing her cock up and down the length of your slit.

“Fuck, baby. I’ve missed you so much,” she said as she watched the way your lips parted as she pushed through your folds and over your clit. You spied the bead of precum that had formed at the tip of her cock over the past few minutes. You moaned.

“I need you inside of me,” you told her. She glanced up at you, pausing for a second before lining up the head of her length at your entrance. She watched intently as she shifted her hips forward ever so slowly, biting her lip as she watched the way you gradually stretched out around her, accommodating her width.

“God, you look so amazing taking me like this,” she said as she remained focused on the visual before her. Her mouth fell into an ‘O’ as she pushed inside and felt your walls surround her.

“Oh god,” she said, her forehead creasing in a frown, “you feel so incredible. I missed being inside of you. And you feel beyond amazing like this. Even better than I imagined. Holy fuck.”

It didn’t necessarily feel different to you, but just the thought and understanding that she was in you bare brought things to a whole other level. You pushed your head back into the couch and pulled her by the waist further into you.

“Fuck, babe,” she said with a light chuckle as you caused her to bottom out. “Jesus, slow down or I’m going to bust right away.”

You grinned and pulled her down into a kiss and rolled your hips against her.

Soon, Jessie had you half reclined on the couch, your legs wrapped around her waist as she pumped into you. The room was soon filled with whimpers and cries from you coupled with moans and grunts from her. The sounds of her hips bouncing off of you along with the sounds that came each time she thrust in and out of your wet tunnel were intoxicating.

“Hear how much I missed you? How much I need you?”

“Jesus Christ,” she grunted as she gripped your hips. “Fuck, I’m close already,” she said as she screwed her eyes shut.

She let out a quick exhale and wrapped her arms around you, one under you and another up along your back as she hoisted you off the couch and carried you into the kitchen, remaining inside of you. She kissed you as she set you down on the counter.

She held herself still as she played with your clit and kissed your neck. You flexed around her subconsciously and she groaned against your skin.

“Fuck, just being inside you is too good.”

When you were getting close she began to pull her hips back, drawing out to the tip before thrusting to the hilt once more.

“Baby, I’m so close,” you told her as you clutched her to you.

“Me too,” she panted as she pumped into you, having to pull you back towards her on the counter now and then from the force of her thrusts. She pumped into you a few times more before speaking again. “I can pull out.”

You dug your nails into her skin.

“Or not,” you said. Her pace faltered and she leaned back to look at you. You went on. “I want you to cum inside of me.”

“Oh fuck, babe,” she said, eyes shutting as she spoke. “Don’t tease.”

“I’m not. I want you to finish in me,” you told her.

She grunted, her fingers gripping your hips. “And…what if something, you know, happens?”

“Then, we can cross that bridge when we get there.” She watched you wordlessly and you smiled. “Honestly? It’s even hotter knowing that it’s all being left up to chance. That you’re so hot for me right now that you want nothing more than to spill yourself inside of me.”

“Jesus,” she said, her eyes rolling into her head before she screwed them shut. “That’s so sexy. God, I want to cum as deep inside of you as I can.”

“Then do it,” you said as you pulled her in for a kiss. The kiss broke off a few moments later as Jessie’s body tensed up as she pushed up into you, her hips rutting into you as a few short groans fell from her lips. She held herself tight against you as she pumped her cum into you.

Eventually, she drew her hips back and gave a few slow thrusts. She looked down at where your bodies were joined and her mouth fell agape in wonder.

“Holy,” she said as she saw a mixture of her cum and yours pooled around the base of her cock and the edge of your lips. The strings of cum stretched along her cock with every stroke. “This looks so fucking amazing, babe.”

She continued to slowly pump in and out of you, mesmerized by what she was seeing until she softened and fell out of you.

You spread your legs further, inviting her to watch as you reached down and rubbed her cum through your lips and circled your clit. You dipped two fingers inside of you. When you withdrew them they were coated in cum and you locked eyes with her as you brought them to your mouth and sucked them clean.

“Jesus Christ,” Jessie breathed with a laugh of appreciation. She ran a hand through her hair before rushing in to kiss you hard. You wrapped your legs around her once more and she began to grind herself against your core again. It wasn’t long before you felt her start to grow hard against you.

“God, I need you again,” she moaned into your heated kiss.

“So take me,” you said. Her chest rumbled as she lifted you off the counter and carried you over to the wall, pinning you against it before filling you in one swift motion.

A cry fell from your lips and she chuckled smugly into your neck as she began to rock herself in and out of you.

“I want to cum inside you again. Make you mine. Claim you all over this apartment,” she panted.

“Fuck, Jess,” you said as you clawed at her back. “You feel incredible inside of me. Make me yours.”

Soon, she had you bouncing up and down on her cock, your back rubbing roughly against the wall as she fucked you silly. Her fingers dug into the underside of your thighs and you knew she’d leave bruises but it turned you on even more.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to take you like this? No barrier - just you and me,” she said. “And God, it’s been impossible not fucking you these past few weeks. I’ve never wanted someone so badly. You’re so perfect.”

You moaned needily, each thrust causing your moan to stutter as her hips slammed into you.

“I can feel our cum dripping down my leg, baby. God, it’s so messy and I love it.”

“Fuck,” you hissed as you started cumming over her cock again. You tore up her back, which she’d give you heck for once you were both out of your lust-filled frenzy.

She grunted and clutched you tighter as she started to cum in you once more, her cock pulsing as she spilled rope after rope of cum in you.

She pressed you into the wall as she drained herself into you before gently lowering you both to the floor.

Your chest heaved as you fought to catch your breath and Jessie did the same. She eventually rolled off of you, a soft popping noise coming as she withdrew from you. You heard her chuckle softly.

“We are making an absolute mess,” she said, her smugness thinly veiled as you glanced down to see a small pool of cum beneath you where she’d just pulled out. You slapped her shoulder playfully and she laughed further as she laid on her back.

“I know how clean you like the apartment to be, so this really speaks to how horny you are,” you chuckled.

A couple of minutes passed and you sat up, looking down at her as she laid there with her arms behind her head. You straddled her and a crooked grin crossed her face. You kissed your way along her shoulder, up her neck and nipped at her ear before whispering.

“Did I mention that you’re the first person I’ve ever let cum inside me?”

“Oh shit,” Jessie said as her fingers gripped you. “That is so freakin hot. You don’t even know.” She kneaded the juncture between your hips and thighs and looked down at your core. “And I hope it stays that way.”

“Mmm, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that,” you said.

“Yeah? You like me enough to stay?” She teased.

“You like me enough to keep me?” You countered.

“You know I do,” she said. “Sex aside and all. I love you and you know it,” she went on before rolling her hips against you. “And the fact that you get me hard back to back so quickly should tell you something too.”

“Mm,” you voiced as you rocked against her hardening member. “I do love having that effect on you.”

You rose up enough that the tip of her erection jutted against your entrance. You held her gaze as you sat down on it, arching your back at the sensation of her filling you up again.

Soon, you were riding her in the entry way of your apartment, her hands on your breasts as you bounced up and down on her thick cock. Your knees would be red and bruised after, but you really didn’t care in this moment.

At one point she grabbed your hips and started hammering into you from below and you moaned shamelessly at the feel of her stretching you out repeatedly.

“Fuck,” you cursed, eyes shut, your head falling back as she sent jolts of pleasure through your body.

When your legs began to shake from the effort combined with back to back orgasms. She held you in place for a second before nodding for you to get off. You wordlessly obliged, having trouble processing much of anything right now and she got up and carried you to the bedroom.

She shot you a salacious grin as she tossed you onto the bed. She grabbed you by the hips, flipped you over and tugged you up onto your knees as she climbed up behind you. She slapped your ass, the sound erupting across the room before she stroked your clit and lips several times, loving the way you fell onto your forearms with a whimper, ass angled up at her.

Another wanton moan tumbled out your mouth as she mounted you, her cock hitting your g-spot as she filled you.

She reached around and continued to circle your clit as she began to pump in and out of you.

You rolled your head back and forth across your arm as pulse after pulse of pleasure coursed through you as her hips bounced off of you.

She held you up as your legs shook. You felt a different type of pressure and heat building between within your core with every stroke. Your mouth opened several times and you stammered your bliss before it crested and you felt yourself gush against her.

“Fuck,” you managed to say as you squirted, your legs spreading wider as your juices ran down her legs and onto the bed.

“Oh my God, you’re so amazing,” Jessie said in awe, pausing inadvertently as she processed what was happening.

As she saw the pool of arousal on the sheets from you squirting, your heat stretching tightly around her cock, cum from your various rounds coating you both, her mind was in a total haze. She wrapped an arm underneath you and pulled you sharply against her, grabbing your shoulder with her other hand and started fucking you with abandon.

You felt pleasure and tension building again already as she railed you from behind. You were going to be so sore the next day, but it felt incredible.

“I’m going to pump you so full,” Jessie panted. “Fucking you so good you won’t ever want another cock.”

You wanted to respond, but you couldn’t formulate any words. All you could do was moan as you buried your face into the bed and bundled up the sheets in your fists.

“I love you so much,” she said, voice shuddering in exertion. “I’m only ever going to fuck you like this again. My cum leaking out of you as I keep fucking you raw. So if you don’t want to have my baby, we better get you some birth control.”

She grunted as her hips continued to slap into you, causing your body to jostle further into the mattress.

“I would offer to get snipped, but I want you to have my baby someday. So…”

You whined and you white knuckled the sheets even more. Her pace picked up and her whimpers rose in pitch.

“Here it comes,” she said before letting out a short yell as she doubled over you, pressing you into the mattress as she came impossibly hard inside of you, despite it being her third orgasm of the night.

She grunted a couple more times as her cock twitched inside of you. She laid heavy on top of you as you both lay there sweaty and spent.

“Oh fuck,” she eventually said as she rolled off of you. “Best bet I ever won,” she breathed.

[bontentrio]

ATEEZ GETTING OUT OF THE FRIENDZONE

hongjoong x gn reader + seonghwa x gn reader (separated)

this is a continuation of ateez stuck in the friendzone, read that part first so it makes sense!

tw: tooth rotting fluff (+ keep in mind that english is not my first language)

a/n: originally i was gonna make the 8 different scenarios in one single post but then i got reaaaaally carried away (friends to lovers IS my favorite trope after all), and realized it’s probably gonna happen with the rest of the members as well. so be patient please!

masterlist

HONGJOONG

hongjoong was sure he was going to explode if you didn’t stop your actions in the next following minutes. it started casual, occasionally patting his shoulder in agreement with whatever he was saying at the moment. then, he started short circuiting when you scooted closer to his chair in order to see his screen as he helped you out with new stickers for your laptop. the new distance you established was a bit closer than normal: he believed that he could pull you on his lap with a single movement if he was brave enough.

yet he couldn’t cross that boundary, reason why he was feeling like a ticking time bomb.

“do you think i’m printing too many?” you asked, as you downloaded another sticker from pinterest. hongjoong smiled, finding the amount of fairy cat stickers you downloaded endearing. “knowing you, you’ll end up sticking the rest anywhere plain, or on my laptop” he said in response, earning a chuckle from you.

“you know me too well hongjoong” you said in between giggles, before throwing your hand behind the back of his head as you played with strands of his hair. your attention went back to the screen though, but in contrast he could only think about the way your fingers felt against his scalp. unconsciously, his eyes turned to you: he always knew you were beautiful, he didn’t just fall for your personality. but sometimes he couldn’t help but notice small aspects that normally would go unnoticed by the rest: how you would play with your lips whenever you’re focused on something, the way you would squint adorably as you tried to read small phrases on the screen. also your eyes, he could get lost on them forever and wouldn’t even care. in moments like this, he would also focus on your lips, mind wandering about how they would feel against his or-

“joong, is everything okay?” you asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. he blinked rapidly, regaining his composure and fake coughing. “what’s going on in that pretty genius head of yours?” you taunted, getting closer to his face.

“trust me, you wouldn’t want to know” he muttered in a low voice, but you heard him anyways. “i’m asking because i want to know, you can tell me anything, i’m your best friend”

“that’s exactly the problem y/n” he sighed, turning his gaze back on the screen, finding the satoru gojo cat suddenly super interesting.

what you did next set the timer in him though: you grabbed his chin and turned his face back to you, staring curiously. “i want to know, joong” you said in a firm voice. your eyes remained interlocked for a few moments, but hongjoong’s patience started running extremely thin. “i can show you” he whspered back, gaze going back to your lips. your hand left the back of his head and went down to his neck, pulling his face even closer as you nodded in response.

hongjoong closed the distance between you, finally pressing his lips against yours softly. you tasted the way he imagined: faint traces of strawberry from the chapstick he once gifted you, the one you refused to change despite the years. his lips moved against yours in sync, as his hands cupped your face, angling it to a degree so he could taste you better.

he thought he could kiss you forever and never get tired or bored, reason why he also felt disappointed when you pulled away. he chased you lips, so you pecked him as you tried to suppress a smirk from creeping on your face.

“finally” you admitted, causing him to look at you questioningly. “i wanted to do that for a while, joong”

“you literally friendzoned me more times than i can remember” he pointed out, shock evident on his face. “i don’t get touchy with just anyone! i had to camouflage it somehow” you said in response, blushing. “plus i also thought that’s how you viewed me, just a friend”.

“hell no, y/n never say that word around me again” he said, finally giving in to his initial thought as he pulled you on his lap in one smooth movement, making you laugh. you cupped his face, looking at him intently. “i like you, joong” you whispered. “you have absolutely no idea how much i adore you” he answered, before crashing his lips against yours again.

now that he knew how you tasted, he was never going to let you go again. you’re his new addiction, just like he always imagined.

SEONGHWA

“i still can’t believe my friend is getting married to him” you said, as you finished applying your lipstick before turning back to seonghwa. he was standing next to the window, admiring the view from the luxurious hotel while you finished preparing for the wedding reception. he was already dressed in a gorgeous wine colored suit, which was a bit oversized yet still looked formal on him.

your friend had announced a few months ago that she forgave her boyfriend for cheating, claiming that it was just a “drunken mistake”. she also informed you that she was getting married too, having already set the date and venue, and telling you that you could bring a plus one. of course, you immediately dialed seonghwa, not just to spill the hot gossip but also to invite him. he immediately agreed.

“that marriage is already doomed” he said, turning his gaze back on you, chuckling. “but at least we get an opportunity to stay at a fancy hotel, get all dolled up and then party” you pointed out, carefully pulling out your outfit from your suitcase. you had picked a dark blue long dress, that had the back open. you had picked it because it reminded you of the yellow dress from “how to lose a guy in 10 days”, which, by the way, seonghwa found absolutely gorgeous. in fact, he chose the color of his outfit to match yours.

“very true, the hotel is amazing” he said, turning back to the window “i didn’t know what to expect when you told me it was in the middle of literally nowhere”. you laughed in response as you exclaimed ‘right?!’, before entering the bathroom to get dressed.

a few moments later, seonghwa found himself having difficulty to breathe due to how gorgeous and breathtaking you looked. the dress fit your body like a glove, and when you did a little turn to show it from the back, he had to literally control himself from crossing the friendship boundary. “so? how do i look hwa?” you asked him, a little nervous. seonghwa walked towards you, holding your hand as he twirled you around, before setting both of his hands on your waist. his eyes, unbeknownst to you, were holding so much love and devotion, yet you failed to realize it. “if i was the bride i’d kick you out for stealing my spotlight” he said, earning a chuckle as you cupped his cheek. he unconsciously leaned in to the palm of your hand, wanting more of your touch. “thank you hwa, you look mesmerizing too” you said. you both stared at each other, too lost on the small intimate moment you were having.

in seonghwa’s opinion, it ended too soon, as you broke away the moment you started blushing intensely. “come, i’ll do your hair” you said, fake coughing as you led him to your shared bed for the night. you climbed on the bed and sat behind him, and seonghwa was sure he died and went to heaven. he unconsciously closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of your fingers combing his long hair into a half ponytail. once you were done, you straightened your dress and grabbed his hand.

“ready to go?” you asked, smiling. he nodded.

———

the ceremony was beautiful, and even the vows you and seonghwa swore would be questionable ended up being terribly adorable. once the groom finished what he had to say, seonghwa whispered in your ear “cute, but i still think this is doomed”, making you laugh silently in your place while simultaneously getting side eyed by other guests.

as the night went by, you found yourself in the need of fresh air from all the intense partying inside the venue. as if seonghwa read your mind, he pulled you from the dancing crowd and led you to the garden with your hands intertwined.

“thank you, i was starting to feel overwhelmed” you thanked him once outside. he nodded, smiling “i could see it on your face”.

“you always seem to know what i’m thinking about, hwa. you’re amazing” you said, in a low voice that only he could hear from his place next to you. “of course, i’m the only exception, right?” he said. you nodded “you’re also my only exception, y/n” he added, now turning his body to face you entirely.

the garden was lit with tiny lights and candles all over the place, and thankfully the sky was clear enough you could see the stars. you could hear a slow dance playing in the background, belonging to the main venue where everyone watched the newlyweds waltz.

“wanna dance?” seonghwa asked, taking notice of the way your gaze switched from him to the main couple. you looked at him once again and smiled “i don’t feel like going back so soon, can we dance here?” you asked. “of course” he answered, taking a better hold of your hand as his other wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer. funny, you didn’t even realize you were still holding hands. it almost felt natural to you.

you slow danced to the faint music, and you could feel your heart beat louder and louder with each step. a strange feeling bubbled up on your chest, before lifting up your head from his chest to face him. he was already looking at you, making the feeling more intense. “hwa, can i ask you something?” you asked, earning a hum from him. “anything”.

“why am i your only exception?” you asked in a whisper. you saw the faint blush creeping on his cheeks as he sighed, thinking of different ways to approach the topic. “i think you’re the only one who has ever made me feel the way i feel” he answered, deciding to just spill the truth he was yearning to say. “you’re the only exception because you are the only one for me”.

as soon as he finished saying that, his hands dropped to his sides, as he took a few steps back, giving you space. “i’m sorry i can’t continue being your best friend, not when i feel the way i feel every time i see you”, he said, loud enough for you to hear while averting his gaze.

yet you always managed to surprise him. he was sure you would feel disgusted, betrayed that your best friend of years suddenly viewed you in a different light. but instead, you approached him again, hugging him close and shaking your head. “i don’t want to lose you” you started saying, feeling the way he slowly and cautiously wrapped his arms around your waist. “but also i would be a fool to ignore the butterflies in my stomach when you say such beautiful things. can you, i mean, can we give each other a chance?” you asked, voice trembling in fear of ruining it.

he cupped your face, thumb smoothing your right cheek. you realized that his stare held a lot more than you initially noticed, for how long did he look at you light that? for how long have you been dismissing his feelings? your questions subdued as he leaned closer, lips now only inches apart. he looked straight to your eyes, as if asking for your permission. you nodded, closing your eyes before his soft lips touched yours.

as cliche as it sounds, you felt like fireworks erupted inside of you. it just felt so right, so genuine and like nothing you experienced before. it felt like the first time you ever experienced love as a teenager, but now you were older and wiser. seonghwa wasn’t just your best friend, he was also your only exception, the only one for you.

on seonghwa’s side, he further proved his point of being meant for each other.

[magicalmanhattanproject]

okay i am still not really able to properly articulate everything i want to say about the admin situation but i'm seeing a lot of doomposting and also lots of people setting themselves up for disappointment with wildly optimistic assumptions so lemme just try to hit some bullet points

adding another new creator and language in this time of turmoil is not ideal, but he was leaked a while ago that he'd been accepted and waiting to join for a while before the whole situation dropped and leaving him in limbo after he's already set aside the time in his schedule for qsmp is also not ideal

we are probably not gonna hear anything more specific than we've already heard until negotiations are finalized. inviting The Entire Internet to comment on every single detail of the negotiations at every step of the way is not going to help

everything we hear from quackity will be as positive as possible. everything we hear from the union will be as negative as possible. it is their jobs to be this way. temper your reactions accordingly

both quackity and the union want a solution where the qsmp continues and the eggmins all keep their jobs and get paid fairly for reasonable labor in reasonable conditions. the union is not gonna be gunning to take down the qsmp

a lot of the negotiations are going to be over what reasonable labor and conditions actually look like for a job that necessarily includes weird and inconsistent hours and labor demands. this is going to take a while to figure out

the other main issue is going to be backpay for the labor that the staff has already done. this is going to be a massive chunk of change. it's also going to take a while to figure out who is owed what and whether it should be paid out all at once or over a period of time

all of these money issues are going to be complicated by the many different currencies and tax standards involved.

tl;dr: this is a complicated situation and it won't be solved any time soon and we shouldn't really expect updates until everything is finished which wont be for a while, but it's actively being worked on and solutions do exist