#but instead I’m going to sleep

[poopiefart420]

My fave pair of doomed siblings

[greykolla-art]

I’ve been so inspired by @bananadramaaa lately!

Their human Alastor and Mimsy comics drive me insane!

I’m realising how cool their relationship is: it’s giving sibling energy!👌👌👌

just two pals looking out for each other while they murder!

[izzystizzys]

As High Marshall Commander, a title foisted on him by the Galaxy’s fakest bitch aka Chancellor Palpatine, Fox theoretically has privileges and authorities like no other clone. In practice, he has a headache and gets ignored more obviously than before.

What he also has is a fancy new function on his personal comm unit modified to broadcast GAR-wide to all commanding officers, up to and including Jedi. It gathers dust next to his own modified button that sees much better use - a private channel to Stone, the only vod that will let Fox bitch at him to his heart’s content without hanging up (Thire) or bitching right back (Thorn).

It’s been a long shift of 72 hours, the maximum Stabby allows him to do without a well-placed hypo to the neck, when Fox finally collapses on his rickety cot in the Command quarters and hits the private comm connection to Stone without looking. He’s already rolling his eyes so hard it tweaks at the migraine that’s been building since hour 18 and heaving a put-upon sigh.

“Everyone is stupid, Stone, and asking to be thrown face-first from the Dome balustrades”, he begins, settling into a low, dead tone of voice to warm to the building monologue. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. “I swear to haran I’m going to wring Amedda’s stringy neck one of these days. I don’t know what magical Force gods his mother pissed off, but they made sure to punish her and the Galaxy at large a hundred times over. He sucks the joy and competence out of every room like a black hole of stupid. I’d call him a has-been, but I trust in the power of nepotism and also just don’t believe he ever was. I swear he’s doing it on purpose and - oh, kriffing Sith-damned hells, you know who’s definitely doing it on purpose?! The kriffing Chancellor, that wrinkly ass-faced ballsack!”

Taking a deep breath, Fox lets that sit in his chest for a moment, indulging in the feeling of bright weightlessness. “I swear he’s trying to keep the war going - no one man can be that incompetent and still draw breath, not even Amedda or Taa. Goddamn Taa - but anyways, kriffing hell, Stone, either the senility isn’t an act or he’s a bad cartoon villain from Dooby Scoo. Yes Sir, sending Senator Amidala to a Seppie-infested planet for negotiations is a great idea after her fourth bomb threat of the week. No Sir, I can’t hear you cackling evilly with Count Dooku under your lame two-credit robe as you’re definitely not colluding with the Republic’s enemies. What, you have a red lightsaber?! Oh, of course I don’t know what that means, I was dropped on the head as a tubie!”

Barely pulling in a harsh breath, Fox continues, palms pressing into his eyeballs hard enough to cause sparks. “And speaking of lightsabers and senile fucks, haran smite my ass off but who the kriff thought it’d be a good idea to give absolute tactical and military authority to the kriffing eldritch space monks! The Force didn’t bless them with the collective good sense it gave to a kriffing rock, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise! Has anyone kriffing read the Theed Convention of Sentient Rights in Wartimes?! NO?!! Well, color me UNSURPRISED, because war crimes ARE NOT! GOOD! BATTLE! TACTICS!!”

“They run around in crop tops, Stone, in crop tops! Oh, the Force provides - WELL I’M GOING TO PROVIDE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS, AND IT’S GOING TO HURT BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT WEARING KRIFFING ARMOUR!”

“Sure, let’s send the preteens into active warzones under heavy artillery in kriffing party wear! Surely nothing will ever go wrong! And give them commanding positions equivalent to CC-clones, WHO WERE LITERALLY GENETICALLY CREATED FOR IT! WITH A DECADE OF INTENSE TRAINING! LET’S DO THAT, BECAUSE WE’RE ALL KRIFFING STUPID!”

He’s gesturing wildly at the ceiling now, face heating up as his blood boils beneath the surface. “And you know what really gets my lowers in a twist, apart from the preteen commanding officers and blatant kriffing high treason and war profiteering?! Is it the complete lack of recognition? Gratitude? Basic sentient rights?! No, Stone, no, I would take all that in stride if it meant I never had to see Skywalker and Amidala kriffing canoodle right in front of me again, and pretend like it isn’t the galaxy’s worst conflict of interest case in the making!”

“By all levels of Sith-hell, what the kriff is wrong with that woman? You have it all, you could have anyone, and you choose that twatwaffle?! And then they have the gall to lock themselves in a broom closet for twenty minutes straight and have me guard it! ‘Oh yes, Senator, naturally we all go rattling brooms with our good friends! Nothing dodgy happening at all! I definitely believe you were looking for detergent and have used a washing machine before!’ The absolute nerve on those two! And then last week - you’ll never believe this - High General Windu passed by, and I swear he looked like he wanted to throw himself off the roof! I’ve never been less impressed by anyone in my life, and I’m batch-mates with Bly!”

“Speaking of Bly, that little bitchtit - if I have to edit one more, one more kriffing propaganda piece of him staring at General Secura’s bits, I’m going to stab my eye out! And if I have to edit one more of Secura staring at his bits, I’m going to stab the other one out! The only good thing I have to say about them is they’re more subtle than Skywalker and Amidala, which means nothing really. I will never understand that woman - but then she’s worked with Jar Jar Binks for a decade and not had a nervous breakdown, so she either has nerves of steel or is on some good-ass drugs.”

“Girl, your choices. And you know what else is a choice? Kote kriffing roundhouse-kicking heads off droids when he has a perfectly good blaster right there! I don’t know what the Longnecks put in his tube, but I hope to kriff it’s not contagious. I’d say I’m glad he has Kenobi to keep him in check, but that man wouldn’t know common sense if it punched his nose clean off his face. Flirting with General Grievous, ugh. I’d say he can do better, but honestly, they deserve each other.”

“And Wolffe - “, panting, Fox pauses, considering. “Well, Wolffe is an asshole and stupid, and I hate him because he’s stupid and has a stupid face. Also he keeps drunkenly submitting adoption paperwork on General Koon’s behalf - I wish I could say something mean about that, but honestly, his existence is roast enough. Anyways, bitches are trying me today, and by bitches I mean everyone. Commander Fox signing off to go not commit treason, unfortunately.”

Thoroughly powered out, Fox sinks into his hard mattress with a deep sigh. Several seconds of silence reign, and then his comm unit starts blaring in alarm.

Somewhere in the Jedi Temple, Mace Windu is knocked flat on his ass by a gargantuan shatterpoint exploding.

[sunglassesmish]

not enough focus on tommy at the start of this scene

[schrodingers-hoarding-problem]

the only valid straight relationships are a girlboss and the guy that is down atrocious for her

[astronicht]

You know, it has been haunting me for more than a month… this far into Two Towers the size of the landscape is inescapable… and of course canonically it’s a version of our world, but also canonically the oceans moved and all… and I’ve been informed the Middle Earth mountains were bespoke sculpted.. but did Tolkien even know about Doggerland?? Did he just invent/prophesy Early Medieval Doggerland so he wouldn’t have to deal with boats, and to facilitate his Hobbit Volkswanderung Period (Hobbitswanderung, if you will).

This is a shitpost but truly I have lain awake wondering. When did we even find Doggerland? Tolkien wrote lotr before the theory of plate tectonics, but Doggerland??? I’m googling it. Oh for fuck’s same, lotr was written before plate tectonics were accepted, but after we found Doggerland. Just 20th century things:

(Wiki)

I’ll never fucking know if he did this on purpose or if it’s a wild coincidence. That’s fine I’m fine.

[anna-scribbles]

anyway can’t stop thinking about how emilie’s crypt is the same as adrien’s bedroom. the emotional heart of the narrative trapped and voiceless in a false display of life/safety. emilie’s artificial sunlight and adrien’s barred windows. everything is about them and they aren’t allowed to be part of any of it. they end the narrative the same way they began it: without any say in the matter

[nightvortaex]

A modern Davron au that attacked my brain:

Aeron finds a note in a library book saying:

“If you like this book, let’s talk” Davos

There’s a phone number written next to it. Aeron hesitates whether he should reach out to the unknown person, but he ends up liking the book so much that he really wishes to share his thoughts about it with someone, so he writes a message:

“Hello Davos, I’ve found your note in the book. Let’s talk.”

First they only talk about the book, but soon they start to have conversations about other things, and it gets to the point that they stay up all night talking on the phone and text each other daily, always asking about the other’s day, and basically just discuss everything with each other. They decide they should meet (both of them are dying to meet the other). They agree to meet at a library cafe (bookworms who love a good coffee). Aeron is the first to arrive (don’t know why in my brain he would be on time or even a little bit too early) and he’s so nervous he’s fidgeting with his bracelet. He gets a message from Davos saying; he’s sorry that he’s late, a few minutes and he’ll be there (because I think Davos would be late a little bit but only a few minutes, he’s very eager to meet Aeron as well and feels bad for being late). Aeron tried to imagine so many times how Davos would look, and when he sees him at the entrance of the library cafe Aeron realises he looks nothing like how he used to imagine him. He thought he would have the look of a 'very typical bookworm’ instead, he looks like the complete opposite: dark, messy hair, silver rings on almost every finger, clothes all shades of grey and black, black boots, and a headphone around his neck.

“He looked like the darkest night sky, only the rings and those loving eyes shone like stars.” (my brain said that’s how Aeron would describe him later in his diary when he writes about him).

Davos looks more like a typical troublemaker than a bookworm, and Aeron would have assumed he’s probably a bully if he hadn’t already known from their conversations that he has a soft side and he’s a cutie inside actually). So Aeron kind of starts to panic internally: “Omg, he’s so handsome. I wasn’t prepared for this.” He already liked him as a person a lot, and now seeing how damn good-looking he is, he is becoming concerned that, oh no, he can totally fall for him (he has already been falling for him but he's not willing to acknowledge it because falling someone you never met and only talked to through messages and phone calls is dumb according to him).

Meanwhile, Davos is absolutely mesmerised by Aeron from the first second he looks at him. He has been kind of falling for him through their text messages and phone calls (because Aeron has such a sweet, tender voice and the way he can talk so passionately about everything he loves)

“His voice, a beautiful siren song which I would follow to the depths of any ocean.” (Davos would write something like this in his diary, poor boy was already getting addicted to him).

Now he knows Aeron not only has the sweetest voice ever (+ the sweetest person ever based on their conversations) but also insanely gorgeous. He stops in front of Aeron and he’s totally unable to take his eyes off him. He loves how Aeron’s hair is shimmering in the sunlight, how his cheeks seem slightly pink and how he is fidgeting with his bracelet nervously. Poor Davos is completely doomed from this moment, that’s the love of his life. They greet each other and sit down at one of the tables. Both of them order a coffee (Davos would drink an ice coffee, but Aeron would choose something more fancy). They start to talk, and Aeron’s nervousness quickly disappears because talking to Davos is just so natural and easy like breathing as always. Without noticing, they spend several hours in the library cafe talking about whatever comes to their mind. Davos is looking at him like nothing else in the world exists other than Aeron, like he’s the Sun (a radiating beauty) and the planet of his being only orbits around him. While Aeron, from time to time, locks eyes with Davos, and he feels like he’s being pulled by a strong gravitational force making him fall deeper and deeper, in his dark clothing Davos is like a supermassive black hole that is about to devour the whole existence of Aeron.

[willow-lark]

there is nothing cool or sexy about kylo ren he literally fucking sucks. like yeah anakin was also a homicidal facist but the difference is anakin was camp. he was hot while doing it. he had the dramatic flair. he’s badass. he’s intimidating. he’s the most iconic movie villain of all time. kyle is literally just an emo neo nazi. there is zilch that is interesting about his character. sorry for speaking the truth

[luthwhore]

“nona the ninth,” by tamsyn muir // superman: the last days of lex luthor, by mark waid // hozier’s twitter // superman: birthright, by mark waid // “sorry,” by halsey // superman (2023) #1, by joshua williamson // tumblr user dykeyphantom // smallville s10e22 // “poem,” by langston hughes

[barnabyboppins]

Hopefully lukewarm take (i haven’t checked)

I recently finished reading the Heroes Of Olympus series (having read pjo immediately prior) and I think it’s pretty shitty that the worth of all of our good guy characters are, to a notable degree, measured by their ability to find and engage in romantic relationships and are then greatly defined by those relationships. (Disclaimer; I don’t think I’m in a justified position to discuss lots of the racial criticisms for HoO but I do agree with a lot of em and that aspect does factor into this topic)

7+ important recurring characters is quite a lot of people to balance, even in a five book series and all of the non-pjo characters suffered immensely for it. But one character arc I anticipated over and over again that never ended up happening was any one character finding fulfillment from the non-romantic relationships around them by de-prioritizing the idea of a perfect someone in favour of accepting the support of their friends/comrades/campers/family/etc. (Second disclaimer: I don’t expect a novel saga from 2010 to have characters declaring their orientations (or lack thereof) aloud but the idea of a character learning to define themself by or through something outside of romance isn’t a new one)

I think Percy and Annabeth are very cute and work well as a couple (are they the only white couple?) and I don’t really see any chemistry between Piper and Jason (I feel like they’re on very different paths from each other and Piper stagnates greatly in favour of supporting jasons development) but I think literally every other Good Guy character had the potential to not need romance in their arcs. Frank could have been raised to praetor by consensus and recognized by his peers and grandma, actively validating his growth rather than him achieving great feats and no one noticing or really caring except for Hazel. Hazel could’ve been shown learning about the modern day with Frank and Nico during downtime and reconciling her identity and trauma with the diversity of today while discovering a new freedom in acceptance (from the Seven) of who she is from back then and who she may yet want to be (and also not dated a 16 y/o at 13).

Leo, Reyna and Nico were the main ones I was thinking would forgo the need for a partner at least as a necessity for their growth/healing as all three have severe familial trauma, are distanced from other demigods socially somehow, and all were explicitly ousted from conventional romance in-writing.

Initially with Leo I had hoped he would confront his struggle being the “seventh wheel” by expressing how he was feeling overlooked as a friend (and as the ONLY shipwright) in favour of everyone’s romantic interests, which would lead into further emotional vulnerability in the party but, that never happened save for a few stoically non-communicative gestures of support to Frank and otherwise weird hang-ups on Hazel before he fucked off to Calypso, letting his friends think him dead for weeks. Leo lacked connection and felt inferior and less important than the rest of the Seven and the narrative validated that by only fulfilling him through an a Rapunzel-like hot babe trapped on an island who is physically dependent on his emotional dependence on her. That’s not a recipe for healthy relationship! I related to Leo initially as an aromantic person with 9 siblings, half of whom are already coupled so it was very disappointing when I realized by the third book that RR just didn’t take what was to me the most obvious arc for a character who is vitally important to a team but least noticed. Also the Hazel-Frank-Leo pseudo-love shape didn’t need to happen, at least in the way it did, and I think the Leo-Hazel-Sammy weird love thing was stupid.

I think Nico and Will are a very cute couple and I’m looking forward to reading their book when I come around to it but I felt unsatisfied that the thing that got Nico to stay at camp after 5 books was a guy who had little significant presence until the last book and not like, any of the other deeply important connections he made during his journeys? Nico’s been talking about never returning to either camp for a while and none of the Seven or Reyna (I think) thought to check in with him? I get that Will is supposed to be like the first person to insistently want Nico around but if Will really is the first then that’s kinda fucked up given the whole like, eight books worth of people he’s met. It’s a bit fucked up that after years of Nico’s presence, seemingly the first connection to anchor him down is an unspoken suggestion of a romance

Reyna’s character journey confuses me because I don’t if I missed or forgot it but I don’t remember her having a conclusion to her internal struggles. Aphrodite telling her she’s doomed to singledom gets brought up again and again and it’s mostly just to make you feel bad for her. She doesn’t tell anyone else. She doesn’t seek fulfillment in the platonic or familial connections she has. They visit her house, trauma dump about her abuse AND fakeout her sisters + the hunters + the amazons deaths just to have Reyna be even more hurt. Reyna and Nico come to understand each other while they’re travelling but by the conclusion of the series she’s just gone back to her isolating and stressful role as the praetor, but now with more work to do! Aphrodite’s words are never explained and their veracity is never tested and all it serves is to give Reyna more misery porn.

I guess what I’m saying is I think the story would have been better if The Seven & Co had a little more connection with each other and not just with their respective partners and if we could have seen some internal growth come from that.

[passionateseadruid]

I’m going to hell for this

St Peter: I’m sorry Charlie! I should have supported the hotel. I should have stuck up for you.

Charlie: It’s okay St Peter-

Alastor: Yes I guess old Habits really do die hard.

St Peter:

Charlie:

[bananahkim]

How long?

[kaviary-blog]

Never Knew Her Name

Sad little Drabble featuring Sebastian and an unspecified F!MC

After everything she had done for him and all they had been through, it was only after she was gone that he realized he never knew her. He didn’t even know her name.

Word Count: 726

“The New Fifth Year”

“The Troll Vanquisher”

“The Hero of Hogwarts”

She had many names and he knew her by all.

Except the one she was given at birth.

He could spot her across the hall, pinpoint her voice and laughter in a room, but he couldn’t call to her in anyway that mattered.

She had helped Sebastian with so much throughout the year that she was at Hogwarts. From midnight library escapades to storming goblin camps in the highlands. They had been partners in crime. She knew everything about him, yet he was so focused on his own goals he never paid her any mind.

She was merely background noise, a means to an end. He could hardly call her a friend. Ominis was his friend, they had been through everything together and grown up with each other. She just appeared one day and they spent time together. Her presence didn’t really affect him that much, after all she was always just around the corner or ready to drop everything at his owl. He didn’t need to miss her or wait around, she was at his beck and call.

Occasionally she would take a while to get back to him, spouting some nonsense about “keepers” or whatever she was on about. If it wasn’t about what he was trying to do, he simply didn’t care.

She was an ignorant little girl who doted on everyone around her, like an annoying hummingbird. Always around and nice to look at but difficult to get close to. She did anything as long as you merely asked. Naive and selfless to the point of easy manipulation; and Sebastian knew it.

That was about all that he knew about her.

-

Eventually she disappeared. It had been a couple weeks before he even noticed. She would always show back up, and only then would he have noticed she was gone.

They had gotten into yet another argument about Merlin knows what and he said some admittedly terrible things to her. She had left the Undercroft in tears. And he hadn’t seen her since.

And then the end of the year feast came around, the air was solemn and heavy. What is going on? he thought. Looking around at all the sullen faces of his peers and professors. Some of them offered him condolences, only confusing him more.

It wasn’t until Headmaster Black began talking that it dawned on him.

His “friend” had died.

In a battle to save the school from the goblin rebellion, she had given up her life.

Professor Fig and the now proclaimed “Hero of Hogwarts” had given up their lives to save the wizarding world and those that resided within the castle walls.

Sebastian didn’t hear the rest of Black’s speech, his head ringing with guilt and shame.

He hadn’t spoken to her in months, hell, he hadn’t even seen her since that night in the Undercroft. His chest tightened and he didn’t understand. Why hadn’t she come ask him for help? They were friends, weren’t they?

Except one detail.

He never knew her name.

The realization hit him. Hard. His breath caught in his lungs and his thoughts raced and he tried to recall any information he could about the girl?

Nothing. Not her name nor the color of her eyes; Merlin’s beard, he couldn’t even recall which house she was in.

—

Summer came and went, and he barely even thought about his fallen comrade. He tried not to think about all she would never do. The life she would never lead and all the things she would never get to try. He pushed her from her thoughts, detaching himself from that part of his heart.

Then the new school year started.

In the middle of one of the courtyards stood a brand new statue. Flowers decorated the base, gifts from grateful students who didn’t know who they were thanking.

He approached the statue, it was of his friend. In all her glory, wand held high and bravery permanently etched into her features. At least, if that’s what her features truly were; he couldn’t remember anymore. Maybe that was for the better. You can’t miss someone you never knew.

He looked at the new sculpture, plaque reading “The Hero of Hogwarts”.

He said silent goodbyes and thanked Merlin that he never knew her name.

[divine-victory]

I need to stop being on tumblr after midnight. Because before midnight I am reading the Tommy haters content and going “haha that’s so unnecessarily petty is actually kinda funny”

And then I’ll read a Buddie shippers are delusional and they suck and Tevan is endgame post and I’m like “haha my multishipper heart is big enough for Buddie Tevan AND buddietommy”

But after midnight my feelings are hurt by every post.

Wdym you hate Tommy because he didn’t stand up to his horrible terrible boss that bullies people he doesn’t like? You hate people that aren’t perfect? You don’t think people deserve the chance to grow? You don’t think that the fact that Chimney is close enough friends with Tommy for Him to call him up and ask him to RISK HIS JOB AND LIFE ON A HUNCH speaks to his current character? Why? Are you telling me you hate me specifically?

And like it’s not that deep. Bro. Chill Dee. Seriously.

Then I’ll see a post that swings wildly the other way and it’s like Tommy is the only one who truly loves Buck. His friends are mean and they treat him poorly and Buddie shippers are delusional and I’ll take that as a personal attack.

Like chill Dee you’ve been here for like 2 weeks.

[ladytauria]

A hello/good-bye kiss that is given without thinking - where neither person thinks twice about it. is so jaytim

you’re right nonny it so is

my first impulse was like—the two of them getting accidentally domestic, bc i love characters falling into relationships without realizing it xD

but then this scenario popped in my head & that’s what came out instead~

>> AO3 <<

Jason hasn’t been sleeping well.

His rest is troubled on a good day, and he hasn’t had many over the last week.

Well. It’s not that he’s had bad days, it’s just…

He misses Tim.

It’s stupid, because his bedroom is literally right across from Tim’s, but— It might as well be on the other side of the world.

He wishes they’d never agreed to stay at the manor for the holidays. It’s been miserable. Sure, he and Bruce are setting a record streak for lack of arguments. It’s been fun to hang out with the others, too, outside of the Cave and the mask. But—

Fuck.

The closest he’s gotten to a proper cuddle in a week was movie night, when he sat on the floor just to have an excuse to lean against Tim’s legs.

Jason knows he only has himself to blame. He’s the one who’s not ready to tell the others that they’re dating, even though they’ve damn near moved in together at this point. He just—he’s not ready for the judgment. The lectures, the shovel talks, the—everything. The reminder he’s not really good enough for Tim.

Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.

Neither do the small, fleeting moments they manage to steal—the kisses they exchange in the lesser used parts of the manor, the brief hugs and touches they can exchange in front of the others. It’s. It’s fucking miserable.

He’s spent the last several nights lying awake, actively restraining himself from sneaking into Tim’s room. He just… He misses being held.

It’s the lack of sleep he’ll blame his slip-up on later, when all is said and done.

Tim’s got some stuff to do in the city today—Jason does too, but not until later—so Jason takes the liberty of making him a coffee and some breakfast to go, since he knows Tim won’t be down until it’s almost time to leave. He gets a couple of raised eyebrows, but, it’s not unusual for him to take the load off of Alfred, so no one actually says anything.

“You said you had plans today, right, Jason?” Dick asks, where he’s sitting at the breakfast table with Steph, Damian, Cass, and Duke. Bruce is standing with Alfred, the butler adjusting his tie like Bruce is twelve, and not forty-something.

“Yeah,” Jason says. “I’ll be gone for a couple hours.” First he has some packages to pick up, and also, every other week, he does story time at the library he used to half-live in as a child.

Tim shuffles in. Jason is glad Bruce will be driving—he looks like a zombie (and Jason would know). It takes him half a moment to spot the travel cup and paper bag sitting by Jason. He beelines over.

“Th’nks,” he mumbles, immediately popping the lid on his cup to take a long drink.

“Cool,” Dick says. “When you get back I was thinking we could break out the board games.”

Alfred finishes with Bruce. “Provided you all remember the rules, I think that sounds like a splendid idea, Master Dick.”

Jason snorts. One of these years they’re going to have all board and card games banned from the Manor.

“Ready to go, Tim?” Bruce asks.

“Sure, Dickie,” he says. “I’d love a chance to kick your ass.” His fingers catch in Tim’s belt loop before he can head to the door. He leans in, thoughtlessly, planting a chaste kiss on Tim’s mouth. “Have a good day, babe.”

Tim hums, smiling softly up at him. “You too.”

Jason almost doesn’t register the silence.

Then—

“What the fuck?” Stephanie breaks it, and Jason is reminded, abruptly, that they’re not alone.

The blood rushes to his face so quickly he’s surprised he doesn’t pass out; his skin ablaze with his embarrassment. “…fuck.”

That’s one way to announce their relationship.

[ 50 types of kisses ]