#but inside he's a 5 year old kid again desperate for his father's approval

[keicordelle]

While we're here: thinking about Gaku coming out.

Gaku who is bisexual and more or less comfortable with that fact. It's a part of him, why shouldn't he be?

But he knows full well that his father would not be.

Sosuke's not a strictly prejudiced man. He is perfectly comfortable with Anesagi, and with Re:vale, and receiving affection from another man bothers him no more than receiving affection from anyone.

But if it were Gaku...

Gaku's supposed to be a sex symbol. It's what he was trained for. What he was bred for, the singular reason his father bothers with him at all. It's been drilled into him from adolescence, ever since he hit puberty and graduated from generalized "how to be a star" into "how to make women love you."

And Gaku doesn't really care that his father would disapprove. At least, he tells himself he doesn't. The old man never approved of anything he did; why should he start now?

But still. He wishes he would. Wishes he could be as true to himself as he pretends to be. Loud and open and proud.

But it's fine. He likes women. Loves women, even. And if he has to keep his interest in men a secret, well. Just another sacrifice for the sake of his image. His father's image.

[flannels-and-fannypacks]

WTWT: The Sequel | Part 4/5 [Reggie Peters]

pairing: reggie peters x fem!reader

word count: 6.6k

warnings: angst, swearing

a/n: hey babes it’s drea :) hope you enjoy this part and get to meet mimi and my favorite ocs!!! make sure to like, comment, and reblog! also send in your memes because we adore them!

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If Rose thought he was stupid then, he wondered how she would have thought of him now. Incredibly sleep deprived, clothes wrinkled, and a bouquet of flowers he most definitely sat on at one point in his hand. But none of that mattered now. He was finally here in Canada to see you, his most chaotic plan yet.

Penticton was not like Los Angeles in the slightest. Reggie felt as though he was out of place. This city was calm and small, in contrast to his loud and unpredictable life. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to make the adjustment if he had to move here, but he knew he’d do anything for you.

With a shaky hand, Reggie knocked on the door. The door slowly opened to reveal an older couple, one that Reggie barely recognized. Reggie was about to apologize and leave until the woman spoke up.

“Aren’t you that horse boy?” the woman asked, narrowing her eyes. “The one that (N/N) was friends with, right? From Idaho?”

Reggie’s cheeks were flushed red. “Um, Wyoming, ma’am,” he corrected politely.

The woman seemed impressed. “Manners and flowers,” she mused. “Turns out they did teach you a thing or two on that ranch of yours. Come in, I made scones.” Without letting Reggie speak, she took the flowers and shoved them into her husband’s hands. “Earl, put that in water, the poor flowers look parched.”

“Um ma’am I’m not too sure this is a good-,”

“Nonsense, you must have come all the way from California,” she waved him off, “We need to get you fed and rested up don’t we?”

Her husband nodded while finding a vase to put the flowers in. “Best take a seat, son,” he whispered. “Tamara gets a little pushy, so there’s no point in fighting her.”

Sighing, Reggie took a seat on the couch as Earl walked off to the closet.

“I’ll be right back honey,” Tamara insisted, just have to go grab something from the kitchen.

Reggie nodded and sat quietly, waiting for her to return, and when she did she was accompanied by a large plate of what Reggie had assumed to be scones. You were obsessed with them, the cafe you worked at had even started selling them at your request.

“You must be hungry from that flight, right?” she asked, removing her oven mitts. “Have some of these, they’re (N/N)’s favorite, can’t get enough of them.” Without asking for permission, she took a scone and --for lack of better word-- shoved it into Reggie’s mouth. “Taste good, honey?”

They were delicious. Only issue was that they were fresh from the oven.

“T-they’re h-ho-” Reggie tried to tell the woman.

Only Tamara didn’t listen. Instead, she took another scone, prepared to feed Reggie once again. “You’re like a stick, honey,” she scolded with a shake of her head. “I told Eloise about those weird fads in California. Stubborn girl doesn’t want to listen.” Reggie nodded, finally swallowing the scone. Not the smartest choice. “Oh, you’re finished? Have another.”

“No thank-” Reggie was cut off by the pastry filling his mouth.

Tamara tutted, seemingly not noticing the boy’s discomfort. “You know, I remember you from when you were little,” she continued to talk. “Very skinny. But short. You grew quite a bit from last time we visited, right, Earl?”

Earl came back, flowers now in a purple vase. He nodded wordlessly before turning to look at Reggie, his cheeks red and puffed out. Earl’s face showed no surprise. That was his wife, after all.

“Oh, Earl, not that vase,” Tamara sighed, giving Reggie a sneak attack by feeding him another scone. The poor boy let out a muffled groan, but didn’t say anything else. “Get the white one, it matches the flowers’ colors much better.”

“Yes dear,” Earl said, going back to the closet in the back of the house. Reggie slouched back on the couch, hopeless and in desperate need for some water. He came to Canada for you, not to be subjected to some sick twisted grandmotherly world war two-esque torture.

Tamara looked down at Reggie. “You must really like these scones, dear,” she said, visibly impressed. “Have another, there’s plenty to go around. Now I see why (N/N) likes you. You two must really love my cooking, hm? Remind me to give you the recipe for when you go back home. That is, if you want to go home.”

Earl mouthed an apology as he came back with the new vase and Reggie just looked at the old man and questioned whether this was going to be him in fifty years.

Reggie tried to say something but only crumbs flew out of his mouth, stuffed like a chipmunk.

“Hey Nana is someone out here I thought I-Flicka?!”

Reggie turned over to you, eyes wide, face full with scones and he gave you a pained smile.

“Hi Foofie,” he attempted to say with his mouth full.

Tamara pinched the bridge of her nose. “Well, looks aren’t everything,” she sighed. “Come on, boy, swallow before you speak. This is your future bride for crying out loud.”

“Nana,” you whined before rushing over to Reggie, taking a cloth napkin and wiping his face. “You look absolutely ridiculous, Flicka.”

“You lofe me,” he shot back, mouth still filled with scones.

You hummed in response. “Sometimes,” you teased. Tears began to well in your eyes. “I can’t believe you flew all the way here, and suffered Nana’s scone feeding for me.”

Eloise and Mateo walked into the room next looking at the sight before them with great confusion.

“Mom not again!” Eloise complained while her husband just let out a small chuckle, remembering the similar way he was greeted when he was getting to know Eloise. “I’m so sorry Reggie honey, but it’s really great to see you,” the middle aged woman smiled and leaned down, giving Reggie a big hug. “It’s been a while.”

“It has,” Reggie said, finally able to answer properly.

Mateo was next, helping Reggie out of his seat and welcoming him with the same kindness.

“Good to see you son,”

“You too, sir,” he nodded.

Mateo ruffled the boy’s hair before Reggie was pulled in some other direction and out the door of the house.

You sat Reggie down on the porch swing overlooking the rest of the city from where the house stood on the mountain. He could see how the mountains dipped into a valley, surrounded by bushes and trees that faded in the distance, pooling into the crystal blue lake, of which he could see more than one.

His driver had told him the large one was the Okanagan lake, and it spanned multiple cities, the middle point being the city he flew into, Kelowna, the other smaller lake that was more popular with locals was called Skaha.

“You know,” you hummed as you leaned your head on his shoulder. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever come up with.” Reggie snorted, shaking his head silently. “But I’m glad you went through with it.”

“Me too, I was going to leave a few days after you left, but Rose made me pick up some shifts at her parents store so I could pay for the ticket,”

You laughed softly, taking his hand and weaving it together. “Seems like Rose,” you mused. “How are all of them? I miss them a lot, you know.”

“Yeah, we all know,” Reggie nodded. “Can I just say your grandma is a lot more intense than when we were younger. I legitimately thought she was trying to suffocate me with food,”

“Yeah, Nana does that with all the boyfriends, dad got the same treatment back in the 70s,”

“I hope I passed her test, then,” Reggie chuckled.

“You definitely did, she shoved like five scones in your mouth, I think that’s a record,”

“Pays to have the stomach of a cow,”

“Cows have six stomachs Flicka,”

“Exactly,” he grinned, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “And look at this, no universe, just me in charge, huh?”

“Or, is that what the universe wants you to think?”

“You know I thought you believed in God,” he fired back and you laughed.

“Same idea Flicka, just deal with it, higher power’s got your back,”

Just when Reggie opened his mouth, the door creaked open, revealing Eloise’s head poking out. “As sweet as this little reunion is,” she began sympathetically. “I think you two should get inside, now. You know, the mosquitoes are the one thing that don’t follow the ‘nice Canadian’ stereotype.”

You sighed, nodding. “Come on, Flicka. Sunburns are one thing but I’m not going to help you if you get a mosquito bite.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, mosquitoes suck,” he said grabbing your arm and pulling you up and into the house.

As soon as you entered the room, Tamara smiled, exiting the kitchen. “There you two are,” she said. “Would you like another sco-”

“No!” both you and Reggie exclaimed in unison.

Reggie’s face turned red. “I uh mean, no ma’am,” he corrected sheepishly. “I’m full, but thank you. They’re really good, though.” Tamara, seemingly pleased with his response, nodded.

“Don’t forget, separate rooms you two,” Eloise warned.

Tamara looked at her daughter with a frown, “You act like you did sneak Mateo in here when you were teenagers. Plus he likes my scones! He’s family!”

“Yeah mom, listen to Nana I’m 22, you can relax,” you sighed.

“I promise no shenanigans,” Reggie added, “Swear it on Tamara’s scones,”

Tamara walked over to her daughter, patting her back. “Let the kids let loose,” she told her. “They’ll be fine together.”

You grinned, kissing your grandmother’s cheek gratefully. “Thank you, Nana.”

“Don’t thank me just yet, honey,” she stopped you. “I still want you to keep your door open. I approve of him, but I’m not ready to be a great grandmother just yet.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not ready to be a dad yet either,” Reggie chuckled. “One step at a time right?”

“We’ll see about that,” you chuckled mischievously earning you a scold from your father.

“Don’t tease the poor boy you’re just like your mother,”

Your mother rolled her eyes, elbowing him not so subtly. “Well, get to bed, the two of you,” she told you both. “I’m sure you have a bunch of things to show him tomorrow, so best get to bed now so you can have an early start,”

“Of course mom, love you guys,” you said, waving to your family and giving your grandfather who had been silent a kiss on the cheek.

Reggie was taken into Mateo's arms for a hug which he received warmly, your parents were like his second parents, they helped raise him, so it was only fair he looked at them that way.

Eloise was next, but along with a hug she whispered in his ear,

“I swear to sweet baby Jesus, Reginald, no funny business,”

“You have my word mama,” he chuckled and pressed a kiss to her cheek before following you out of the living room and up the small set of stairs that brought you to the rooms.

Your bedroom was small, and resembled that of a child’s. It was a bright pink with stars adorning the walls. Your twin sized bed was in the middle, pressed to the back of the wall. Reggie assumed that not much had changed in your room since you hadn’t been here for years.

“Nice room, Cookie,” he complimented as he set his bag down. “Very um, Disney princess chic.”

You shot him a look before throwing a pink throw pillow in his direction. “Shut up,” you shot back. “My grandparents haven’t really changed up the place. Hell, they still think I’m their baby granddaughter that wears princess dresses all the time.”

Reggie approached you, placing his hands on your waist. “Well, I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a pink princess dress,” he teased. “You’d look adorable.”

“As long as you wear the animal sidekick suit. You’d look adorable,” you mocked.

“Okay, I don’t mean to be a downer, but I’m exhausted, somehow my flight had a connection in Colorado then Alberta, so I’ve been awake for hours,”

“The washroom is through that door, you can get changed and then come and rest on the Aurora bedspread,”

“Looking forward to it Cookie,”

As instructed, Reggie made his way to the washroom and got ready while you did the same in your room, turning off the lights and leaving the door open. When you climbed into the bed, Reggie had just opened the door to the washroom, he was wearing flannel pants and a very large Sunset Curve shirt.

“Did they run out of your size, Flicka?” you teased, in your pajamas, a pair of old shorts and Alex’s sweatshirt you had stolen prior. Not that Alex ever noticed you took it, though. The drummer had a lifetime supply.

Reggie scoffed playfully. “I’ll have you know, this is just my size,” he told you. “Size beautiful, duh.”

You held your arms out to him in a welcoming hold and he didn’t hesitate to fall into them, resting his head against your chest while you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Hey, how is everyone?” you asked with a quiet yawn.

“Well, that’s the million dollar question isn’t it,” he laughed. “Bobby drank Rose and Ray’s place dry when you left, Luke didn’t eat anything but Twinkies for three days and wouldn’t leave your old apartment, Alex stayed with him but he was just as bad and Rose and Ray just took time off from everything to take care of everyone.”

“Wow,” you breathed.

“But,” Reggie continued. “They’re better now, they convinced me to come back up here. I think they want to come and visit at some point,”

“I’d like that a lot,” you smiled softly. “To see them all again. Maybe I’ll come back down for the wedding.”

Reggie chuckled, his fingers running through your hair. “There’s no “maybe,” Cookie. You’re going to be there, even if Rose has to drag you while in a white dress and veil. You’re her maid of honour.”

“About that,” you said, squinting your eyes. “Do you think they’re actually getting married? Like Rose didn’t say she told her parents or anything it was all very weird.”

“Oh, no, they’re definitely lying,” Reggie laughed. “But it’s fun to play along, see how long it takes for them to break or you know, break us.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Those two are crazy,” she sighed. “Definitely Rose’s idea, though.”

Reggie nodded, his eyelids slowly closing. “Yeah,” he hummed. “I always thought we’d be the first ones to get married in the group, anyway.”

You chuckled lightly and nodded, “With our track record? Really Flicka? I was expecting at least one of us to get married and divorced first, probably me to be perfectly honest and you would have gone on some self actualization trip to Borneo and then we would have found each other again and gotten married,”

“Borneo does sound nice,” he mused and laughed. “We were never one for a normal relationship.”

You agreed. “Normal’s too boring,” you said. “Where’s the drama in a normal relationship?”

“When you put it that way it makes it seem unhealthy,” Reggie poked you and you squirmed under his touch.

“It’s not unhealthy it’s just… just… spicy! That’s it, our relationship is spicy,”

“So were those dances Mrs. Leona taught us,”

“Oh Tamika! She’s such a sweetheart, I went through part of my practicum with her,”

“You’re on a first name basis with her?” Reggie asked, surprised.

“Well, I am almost a teacher now so yeah,” you nodded. “Still wouldn’t let go the whole deal with us having unparalleled chemistry,”

“Why am I not surprised,” Reggie yawned loudly.

You tilted your head upwards to see Reggie, barely staying awake. “Okay, we definitely should go to bed now,” you told him. “You look beyond exhausted.”

“I feel beyond exhausted.”

Laughing softly, you snuggled yourself closer into Reggie’s chest, his arms finding their place around your waist. “Goodnight, Flicka,” you whispered. “I’m glad the universe brought us back together.”

Reggie hummed in response. “I’m glad, too. I love you, Cookie.”

—

You woke up the next morning to the loud sound of banging. Sitting up abruptly, you turned to see the other side of your bed empty. You frowned to yourself. Were you just dreaming? Did Reggie not actually come to Canada?

“YOU HORSE BOY, I TOLD YOU TO ADD SUGAR! WHAT IN YOUR RIGHT MIND MADE YOU THINK ADDING SALT TO PANCAKES WAS A SMART DECISION?” you heard your grandmother yell.

You let out a sigh of relief. Reggie was here.

“I’m sorry!” you heard him yelp. “They look similar, so I-”

“Oh, these Brandanowitz women, worst taste in men, I tell you,” she grumbled loudly. “None of them can choose a man who knows how to cook!”

Rushing down the stairs, you poked your head around the corner to see your grandmother, father, and Reggie trying to cook. Your father seemed to have taken a major offense to your nana’s comment.

“Tamara, I’ve gotten much better, plus I did teach you how to make arepas,”

Your grandmother narrowed her eyes. “Don’t get smart with me, boy,” she snapped, snatching the pan from your father’s hands. “I still remember the cake incident back in ‘84.” Your father blushed sheepishly before stepping back to let Nana take the lead in cooking.

“Mom before you start attacking my husband you do know that dad can’t cook right? I’d say that proves you have equally bad taste in men,” your mother countered.

“Mhmm,” Earl nodded, not looking up from his newspaper and sipping his coffee. “Very bad taste ‘Mara,”

Tamara shook her head, swatting Reggie’s hand as he tried to taste the batter. “Oh, I know,” she said back. “I just hoped that after five generations of our family choosing terrible cooks, we’d get some change.”

“Reggie’s got some other talents,” Mateo came to the boy’s defence. “An amazing musician, Eloise and I went to a few of his band’s concerts,”

Tamara gave the boy a dead state. “Fiddling with banjos and drums won’t feed you, unless you plan on eating strings,” she deadpanned.

“Actually ma’am my band and I just landed a huge gig at one of the most popular theaters in LA. Our tickets sold out,”

“Are the drumsticks made of bread?” she asked.

Reggie furrowed his eyebrows. “No?”

“Are the bass strings made of spinach?”

“No, ma’am.”

Tamara made a sour face, taking the batter from the table. “Then not my problem,” she said before continuing to make the pancakes.

“Mom,” Eloise groaned, smacking her forehead. “Reggie honey just ignore her, she’s too old fashioned for her own good. We,” she said motioning to herself and Mateo. “Love you and that’s all that matters,”

“I don’t think he’s that bad either,” Earl mused from the table.

“Oh sure,” Tamara murmured to herself. “I’m too old fashioned until you come running back to me for my scones recipe.” She looked up from her bowl of pancake mix to glare at her husband. “Earl, next time you ask for coffee, you’re getting dirt and worms, you hear me?”

The older man only smiled at his wife. “Yes, dear.”

“Good morning,” you said, finally coming into the kitchen.

You went around, giving the routine kisses, saving Reggie for last and pressing a quick peck to his lips.

“Sleep well Flicka?”

“Like a log,” he nodded. “I-I was trying to help your grandma make breakfast but she seems to think I’m a bad cook,”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” you grinned. “She labels to the sugar salt and the salt sugar just to get people, you’re a fine cook Flicka,”

“Tamara!” Mateo explained, completely betrayed and flabbergasted.

The woman shrugged her shoulders, flipping a pancake on the stove. “Serves you right for thinking I’m old fashioned. I can have fun, too.”

“I-” Mateo stammered before looking at his wife in disbelief. “Eloise!”

Eloise smirked as she approached you with a cup of coffee. “You’ll need it if you’re going to tour around town today,” she told you.

“I’m gonna need it if dad is gonna try and find a way to prove he's a good cook, I can see the gears turning,”

“You know I can cook (N/N)! I always made dinner at home,” he insisted. “Now what do you like more, my empanadas or tira de asado?”

“Ohh the tira,” you and Reggie both nodded, having tasted the delicious steak already.

Tamara turned around with a plate of pancakes, setting it on the table. “But is his cooking better than mine?” she asked, giving you a serious look.

“Well that depends,” you said, you were always honest with your grandmother, no matter what other people had said, “See Papa can beat you without a doubt on the South American dishes, but when it comes to North American comfort foods you’re the queen,”

“At least you raised her right,” Tamara grinned, pinching her granddaughter’s cheek.

The rest of breakfast went by smoothly, with Tamara only threatening to make Mateo sleep on the roof once, a new record. Regardless of the constant threats Mateo loved his mother in-law, that was a fact.

You ran back up to your bedroom to get dressed for the day, while Reggie was held back by your dad, more likely than not to help clean up the mess that they made in the kitchen with Tamara.

But downstairs, Reggie was sat down by Mateo and Earl, serious expressions on their face. Eloise and Tamara were nowhere to be found, but Reggie wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

“What’s up?” Reggie asked to break the silence, despite the erratic beating of his heart. “I’m not in trouble, am I?”

“No, son,” Earl reassured him, sitting down across from him. Mateo sat beside him, patting Reggie’s hand reassuringly.

“We just wanted to have a chat,” Mateo said and Reggie raised his brows, looking over at the two men.

“Am I right to think this has something to do with (N/N)?” Reggie asked and the men nodded.

“You’d be right, sonny,” Earl smiled. “I don’t think we’ve ever asked you how your flight was?”

Reggie shrugged his shoulders. “It wasn’t horrible,” he answered. “But honestly, all that really mattered was that I’d find my way back to Cookie.”

Mateo couldn’t help, but smile, reminiscing the days when he was falling in love with his now wife. “Cookie,” he repeated. “You and (N/N) have the silliest names for each other. I don’t remember why you call each other that.”

“It’s a long story,” Reggie laughed. “I’m pretty sure Flicka’s a horse from Wyoming and well she always did like cookies didn’t she,”

The men laughed and agreed with him. “That girl eats far too many desserts for her own good,” Earl shook his head. “You better keep your pastry stock full at all times once you’re married to her, you hear me? She’s just like Tamara, can never get enough of sweets.”

Instantly, the edges of Reggie’s lips turned up into a smile. “I guess I’ll be needing that scone recipe too,” he joked lightly.

Suddenly, the room went silent. Reggie stared down at the bracelets on his wrists, playing with the loose strings. You had made them for him when you were kids, and he swore to never take them off. And there he was, seventeen years later, upholding that promise.

“Um, sirs,” he began, immediately cringing at the titles. “I-I… you know how much I love your daughter and granddaughter,”

“More than you love Tamara’s scones?” Earl cut in with a teasing wink.

“Oh yes, much more,” Reggie laughed nervously. “More than anything in my life, to be honest. And actually,” he reached into his pocket, pulling out a velvet box and showing Mateo and Earl. “I-I really want to ask her to be my wife. I just thought maybe I could ask for your blessings first.”

Earl and Mateo fell silent once more, making Reggie stammer sheepishly. “I promise you, I’ll keep my pastry stock filled and everything,” he rushed. “I’ll buy the entire company of cookies if it meant she’d be happy. Hell I’m prepared to move here, I’d do anything for her,”

Reggie pulled out the ring from the box, fiddling with it anxiously. “I’m ready to even give up music, if I have to. Because she’s worth everything to me. I’ll take up a job here, a-and I’ll learn how to cook, too. Cookies, scones, tira de asado, whatever she wants to make her happy. I know I don’t have much, e-even my family is falling apart, but I promise I’ll make her my first and only priority, sir and...sir.”

Earl glanced over at Mateo. “If you don’t approve of this young man, I’ll marry him myself,” he said with a grin.

“Reggie, Eloise and I always had a hunch that you’d be the one for (N/N),” Mateo explained. “You’ve been like a son to us and we watched you grow up into such a fine young man, I don’t think there’s anyone more perfect to be my daughter’s partner for the rest of her life,”

Reggie nearly dropped his ring. “Wait, really?” he stumbled over his words. “Like...you’re allowing me to propose? Like marry her and-and everything?”

Mateo nodded. “So long as she says yes,” he told him.

“Which she will,” Earl chuckled. “Welcome to the family son,”

Without thinking, Reggie stood up and leaned over and wrapped his arms tightly around them. “T-thank you, sirs!”

Mateo and Earl laughed heartily. “I think Dad and Grandpa will do,” Mateo insisted, patting Reggie’s back. “Now, I think you have a girl to propose to, right?”

As if on cue, you made it to the bottom of the stairs, ready to go. “Ready, Flicka?” you beamed.

Reggie quickly tucked the ring box back into his pocket. “Always, Cookie,” he responded.

Tamara entered the dining room, wearing a large floppy hat and sunglasses. “Yes, we are,” she announced. “Where to?”

Your cheeks were flushed red. “Oh, Nana, we were-”

“I’ve got the keys,” Eloise grinned. “We can drive to Kelowna for the day!”

“I can drive,” Mateo nodded, taking the keys from his wife and sending a wink to Reggie.

A good ten minutes later the whole household was packed into a car, heading out of the small town for the hour drive up to Kelowna, the largest town along the Okanagan lake.

“Oh mom can we go to Moo Lix? I love their ice cream,” you asked your mother, leaning up from the back seat.

“I’m sure we can stop there,” Eloise nodded. “We can walk through the city park and grab something to eat by the beach,”

The drive wasn’t too long, only around an hour and when they crossed the bridge to enter the city Reggie could sense your excitement, finally being able to show you around some of the places you grew up in.

“Excited, Cookie?” he asked with a teasing grin on his face.

You turned your head from the window, beaming at Reggie. “Beyond excited,” you replied, taking his hand in yours and squeezing it tightly. “Maybe later on, you can show me around Wyoming?”

Reggie threw his head back in laughter. “I’d love to show you the ranch,” he told you.

“Good cause I’m not entirely convinced it exists,”

“Oh not with this again,” Reggie groaned and banged his head on the seats in front of you.

Mateo finally parked the car along the front of the large city park, spanning the length of the beach and lake. You were ready to drag Reggie out of the car and try to take him to some of the places you wanted him to see, but you were interrupted by your grandmother insisting you all went in the opposite direction.

“Reggie, I have to show you Ogopogo,” you told Reggie, pulling on his arm. “I need to tell you the story about it, it’s awesome! It’s this monster that’s said to inhabit the lake, you’d love it!”

Reggie chuckled as he tried to catch up with you, running down the sidewalk. “I guess there’s another monster I need to befriend in the lake,” he joked, remembering the lake back in California.

Tamara shook her head at the two, readjusting her straw hat. “Oh, no one wants to see that pile of rubble,” she told you both. “Come on, there are far better things to see.”

“But Nana,” you whined. “I wanna show him-,”

“Come on dear,” she interrupted you and you sighed.

“We’ll come another time Flicka,” you said, wrapping your arm around his and intertwining your fingers together.

“Of course Cookie, I’m yours, for whatever or whenever,”

Your grandma dragged the group of you through the park, explaining the history of certain statues and whatnots. You were paying attention, but Reggie’s focus was on you the entire time, his hand nervously fiddling with the ring in his pocket, waiting for the right time, any time to pull it out. But every time he tried to take a moment to be alone with you, either Tamara would pull you two to another site or Reggie would get too nervous.

Finally, when Reggie got a moment alone with you, it was absolutely perfect. The sun was nearly setting, and your parents had managed to drag your grandparents to the bench to rest for a moment, but Lord knows Tamara can’t sit still for long.

“This place is beautiful, isn’t it, Flicka?” you asked, looking out in the distance. You turned to face Reggie, a mischievous grin on your face. “Maybe if you go for a quick swim, you’ll see Ogopogo.”

Reggie chuckled. “Maybe.”

The two of you turned back to the scenery, taking in the small moment of silence you were finally given.

Do it. Get on one knee and do it.

“Cookie?” Reggie spoke up. You hummed in response, not tearing your eyes away from the sunset. “You talked about the universe bringing us together, no matter how many times we’ve been pulled apart.”

You laughed softly. “Higher powers always have your back, Flicka,” you said, recalling what you told him last night.

Reggie placed his hand in his pocket, about to pull out his ring and propose to you. “Well, I-”

“(N/N)! Horse Boy!”

Reggie sighed, slouching slightly. Dropping the ring box back into his pocket, he turned around to see Tamara marching over to them. Earl was close behind, mouthing an apology.

“It’s getting late,” she frowned. “We have to get going now if you want to get scones for dessert.”

You smiled giddily, kissing Reggie’s cheek before following your grandmother.

The ride on the way back was spent the majority of the time in silence, just resting. You laid your head on Reggie’s shoulder as he stared out the window, frustrated with himself for not proposing today. There were countless amounts of times where he could have asked you, but there was always something holding him back.

Once you got back to the house, you dragged yourself up the porch steps saying you were gonna go take a power nap before dinner and dessert were ready. Reggie couldn’t help, but look fondly at you while you walked up the stairs, yawning loudly. Even when you were tired you were perfect to him.

Reggie couldn’t stop replaying the day in his head. All the missed moments were taunting him. He needed help, but from who? Suddenly, it was as though something clicked in his head.

Reggie entered the home, finding your mother in the dining room with her father. “Hey, um Eloise is there a phone I could use? I’ll pay for the long distance charges,”

“Yeah of course, there's one in the studio room downstairs,”

“Thanks,” Reggie smiled and jogged down to the phone. After taking it in his hands he took a deep breath. This had to be it, what was holding him back.

Dialling the number and hitting call there was no turning back.

The phone rang for a few moment and just as he thought no one was going to pick up the phone line clicked and there was a quiet,

“Hello?” on the other end.

“Hey dad,” Reggie said quietly chewing on his lip. “C-Can you get mom I want to talk to you both about something,”

A long pause followed. “Um, sure,” he responded. “Is everything alright, Reggie?”

“Yeah,” Reggied sighed. He pulled the ring box out of his pocket. Flipping open the top, he stared down at the small jewel resting on top of the ring. “Everything’s fine.”

There was a quite shuffle on the other line along with some hushed chatter before the phone clicked again,

“Okay Reg, you’re on speaker,” he heard his father’s voice once more.

It had been almost three months since he had last seen or spoken to either of his parents aside from getting the confirmation that they were going through with the divorce.

“Um… well,” Reggie didn’t really know where to start, so that’s what he said. “Everything’s a little all over the place I’m not really sure where to start,”

“Take your time sweetheart,” Diana’s soft voice came through. “Your dad and I have time,”

Reggie took another deep breath, “A-A little while back (Y/N)’s parents… they-they lost the house,” Reggie started to explain. “The job market just wasn’t working for them in LA so they needed to move back to Canada. They’re staying with Eloise’s parents for now until they can find work and get settled.”

“Oh wow,” Darcy whispered on the other end, “W-We didn’t know. I’m sorry to hear that,”

“Yeah me too,” Reggie nodded. “A-Anyways, (Y/N) had to come up with them. To stay and I… I just-I couldn’t lose her again so...”

“Reggie,” Diana spoke up. “Are you in Canada right now?”

“Yes?” he answered, more so like a question.

Murmuring followed from Diana and Darcy’s end. “Okay, we’re not mad you went to another country without telling us,” Darcy began. “But a heads up would have been nice.”

“I-I got a job and everything to pay for the ticket. I’m not in debt or anything,” he assured. “But yeah, I guess maybe I should have said something, but you can understand why I was hesitant to call,”

“Sweetheart,” Diana said. “We’re happy you went to follow the girl you loved. So long as you’re safe.”

“We’re sorry for not being the best parents to you,” Darcy added. “But we want to be here for you now. Is there anything we can do to help you with whatever’s troubling you?”

Reggie remained silent, fiddling with the phone wire. “Dad, how did you know you were ready to propose to Mom?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“I-I’m sorry?” Darcy said back. “Son, you’re going to have to speak up, I didn’t catch that.”

Reggie took yet another deep breath. “How did you know you were ready to propose? Like...what feeling did you get? Because I know deep down I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with (Y/N), but something’s stopping me and I don’t know what.”

There was silence on the other line and Reggie cursed in his head, this wasn’t a good idea he shouldn’t have-

“I-um… I don’t really know how to describe it…” Darcy started softly. “It was almost like… like pain, in my heart. When I wasn’t with her I-I just couldn’t function. Your mom she was… she was my everything.”

Reggie could hear his dad faltering on his words, but before he could get any further he could hear his mother’s soft voice reassuring him,

“It’s okay… we just… we weren’t cut out to be married. I-... Reggie I hope you know your father and I still love each other very much. It’s just sometimes life throws you one too many curveballs. D-Do you think you would be able to get past that with (Y/N) if it were to come to it?”

“I would do anything for her,” he whispered.

“Then I think you got your answer, Reg,” Darcy told him, no doubt smiling. “Reggie, I know we haven’t said it much, but I just want you to know that we are so proud of you for growing up to be such a brilliant young man, despite all the things life has thrown at you, what we have done to you.”

Reggie sniffled, wiping away a stray tear. “You haven’t done anything, Dad,” he said, voice cracking slightly. “Life got in the way, you know? I can’t blame you two for that.”

Eloise poked her head around the corner. “Reggie, dear,” she called out. “Dinner’s ready. Do you want me to save a plate for you if you’re still on that call?”

Reggie shook his head. “No, erm I’m okay, Eloise,” he reassured her. “I’ll be up in a minute.” Eloise smiled before going back upstairs.

Turning back to the phone, Reggie sighed. “I should probably go now,” he told his parents. “But thank you for the advice. It um, means a lot.”

“Of course, Reggie,” Diana said into the phone. “We’ll always be here for you.”

Reggie nodded, gripping the phone tight. “I...I love you,” he whispered, trying to fight back the tears from falling down his face. For once things felt normal. They felt like a family.

“We love you, too, Reggie,” Darcy told him. “Remember to tell us everything, okay? How it goes, if the wedding will be in Canada…”

Reggie laughed. “I will, Dad.”

“A-And, I know you probably have a ring already,” his mother started. “But the one your father gave me is passed down in the family. I-If you want I think we’d like to give it to you.”

“I-I’d love that,” he nodded, “We can save it for the big day… if there is one,”

“I have a strong feeling there will be,” Darcy said, a smile in his voice. “Trust me on that,”

“Well, we don’t want to keep you from dinner, sweetie,” Diana told him. “Tell (Y/N) we said hi, okay?”

After saying their goodbyes, Reggie set the phone down and smiled to himself. For once in his life, everything felt right.

Reggie, not wanting to make them wait any longer, stood up from his seat to join your family for dinner. There, Earl was pouring lemonade in each glass while Eloise set up the table.

Tamara was the next to enter the kitchen with a tray of roast chicken. “There you are,” she spoke up, looking directly at Reggie. “We were wondering where you were. Afraid you’d run off and make friends with the mosquitoes.”

“Tamara’s warming up to you a little more,” Mateo teased. “She’s worries for you. That didn’t happen for me until after (Y/N) was born.”

Tamara rolled her eyes, pointing a carving knife at him. “I’ll have you know,” she began with a pointed look. “I like this boy a whole lot more than I did when I first met you. This one finishes my scones and calls me “ma’am.” You should take some notes.”

Reggie laughed, taking a seat beside you. “Well, ma’am,” he smiled. “I hope you’ll get to see me more often.”

Eloise and Mateo grinned, a knowing twinkle in their eyes as Reggie spoke. You glanced over at Reggie, quite confused. “What?” you asked.

The bassist only shook his head. “Nothing,” he told you softly. Still exhausted from the day, you simply nodded, leaning your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes.

“I’m tired,” you whined in a hushed voice for only Reggie to hear.

Reggie tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. “Eat quickly, then you can head to bed, okay, Cookie?” You groaned, but listened to him.

“Wow, Reggie,” Eloise mused, impressed. “She actually listens to you when she’s tired. (N/N) never does that.”

Reggie shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a gift,” he joked.

With a mouth full of chicken and rice, you agreed. “He’s the special one,” you teased.

Reggie grinned, subconsciously patting the ring box in his pocket.

Yeah, he sure hoped he was.

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[fletchphoenix]

Bittersweet Aftertastes

Hey gamers - its me with chapter 5 of the Varigo Coffee Shop AU. Yet again, thank you for all the support I’ve received on this - now, on with the chapter!

TW - Strong Language

Word Count - 3858

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Consoling the boy in front of him was...not an easy task to say the least, endless streams of tears leaving his eyes which broke Hugo’s heart each time one rolled down his now-red face, flushed from crying. He just wanted to scoop Varian up and take him away from all of this - to be alone with him where they didn’t have to worry about anything else. Obviously that wasn’t an option, but that didn’t stop him from silently pleading to the universe for it to become one.

 Hugo threaded his fingers through the smaller boy’s hair, letting them sit on the floor of his hallway in each other’s embrace and kissing his forehead as he soothed him. He whispered sweet nothings to him to provide the boy with some sense of comfort as the storm inside him brewed. Sobs died down into pathetic little whimpers, akin to a wounded animal or a kicked puppy, and tears stopped making little puddles in his shirt.

 “Feeling better?” Hugo enquired, leaning back slightly to allow himself to see the pained boy’s face. Blotched cheeks met him, eyes swollen from his extensive crying and his bottom lip quivering as he nodded, moving closer to Hugo again as they stood and walked down the hall towards the living room. Carefully, Hugo sat Varian down on the fern green couch before kissing his forehead yet again and moving back. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Hugo muttered, waiting for Varian’s nod of approval before he turned on his heel and exited the room.

 In only a few strides, he arrived in the kitchen again, immediately striding over to a moss-green cabinet beside his stove, crouching and opening it. Taking out two cups, a sapphire one and an, of course, jade one, before setting them aside and starting the coffee machine. Searching the various other cabinets and cupboards around the cramped room rewarded him with some vanilla syrup (some that he TOTALLY didn’t buy just in case Varian came over, no way) before sauntering back over to the discarded cups. He distracted himself by setting the cups under the machine and letting them fill, sitting down on the counter and scrolling through his phone in silence. Looking up, his eyes glossed over the boy in the living room, who sat staring at the floor with a troubled expression on his face.

 Hugo pushed down the feelings of guilt building in his stomach as he turned back to the coffee machine, sliding off the counter and adding the syrup along with one teaspoon of brown sugar into the sapphire mug. ‘What happened in the car?’ he pondered as he stirred the dark liquid in the cup, pouring in the milk deep in thought. What did Varian’s brother have against him? At least, he thought it was his brother, the brunette man bore no physical resemblance to Varian at all and looked far too young to be the father, let alone the father of a nineteen year old. Nevertheless, it didn’t explain his...for lack of a better word, explosive reaction to the pair. Hugo thought back, but no, he couldn’t remember a point in time where he’d potentially robbed the guy - he’d remember a face as unique as that. Shit, he thought as he stopped stirring, drops of coffee dribbling down his hand. “VERY smart, Hugo..” he groaned as he grabbed some tissue to clean his hand with, picking up the two cups and strolling to the kitchen.

 “Hey V, I’ve got your drink.” he said softly, placing it on the table in front of the boy and taking a seat beside him. The boy only gave a soft smile in response, picking up the cup and taking a sip. He hummed in satisfaction, taking the time to shuffle closer to the blonde and cuddle against him, muttering a barely audible ‘thank you’ as Hugo’s arm snaked around his shoulders to pull him closer to him. He looked so helpless. He didn’t deserve to feel that way whatsoever. Hugo felt his heart ache. “You wanna talk about it now? It’s fine if not, I just…thought it might help you I guess?”

 He cursed to himself mentally. Why was he so bad at comforting people? Why was he so awkward? Why couldn’t he just...be normal and not stutter and stammer through each sentence when he was around the other boy, who had now set his cup aside and cuddled against him further before clearing his throat. “Don’t feel pressured to, Varian. I was just-”

 “No, Hugo. I’m ready to talk. You deserve to know everything.” he uttered, cutting Hugo off. His eyes, filled with guilt, had a sadness behind them while he sat with his shoulder slumped. Defeated was the only word that came to mind as Varian let out a sigh, proceeding with his explanation.

 “He said that you’re a criminal and that you’ll never change. I don’t believe that thought. At all. You see, Eugene used to be like that - a criminal who went by the alias Flynn Rider. He was a petty thief - pickpocketing and all that jazz. Until he decided to steal from the mayor. Cue Rapunzel. She convinced her dad not to hurt him, and she promised she could help him get on the right side of the tracks. And he did! He turned his life around - he even joined the Coronan police force with Lance and helped improve the rehabilitation of criminals in jails in positive ways!  She helped him become better, but it just frustrated me about what he said because...” he let out a frustrated groan, slumping back on the couch and tugged his hair.

 “He’s not the only one with a dark past.” Varian added, clear as day. Confusion washed over Hugo’s face as he looked at Varian’s darkened, deathly serious expression. What else was he hiding? Of course he didn’t want to push him too far, but now...his interest had peaked and his curiosity got the better of him as he waited for the rest of the explanation.

 “When I was fourteen, I hurt my dad really badly. So badly, in fact, that he went into a coma. By that point, my mother had left and I had no one to turn to. So I ran, in the middle of a snowstorm mind you, to the mayor’s house. I begged and begged for help, for someone to listen to me, or to give me some money to be able to afford a good hospital for my dad to recover in! But no one did. I felt tossed aside, so I did what any kid my age would do. I turned to crime to try and raise money for my dad’s hospital bills. I was desperate. And that’s when I met Andrew.” Another lengthy pause.

“I’d sell drugs for his gang, the Saporians, and they’d give me a cut of the money so that when dad finally did wake up, we’d be just fine financially. Then they wanted me to rob a cottage. I really really didn’t want to, but...the thought of seeing my dad again made me. But I got caught by Rapunzel, the mayor’s daughter. If she wanted to, she could’ve just called the cops on me and gotten me arrested. But she didn’t.”

 “She told me all about the night I begged her for help and that she desperately wanted to, but there were citizens severely in danger because of the snowstorm, and she had to help them before she could help me. From there, she forgave me. She forgave me for trying to rob her and all my other crimes. I helped her to take down the Saporian gang - as it turns out, they were planning to attack the city..and she helped fund my father’s hospital funds. Hell, she even let me stay with her while I was waiting for him to get better. And he did. I got my dad back and everything went back to normal.”

 “My point is...Eugene’s being a hypocrite. He knows me and him did some bad stuff - but we changed. And I know you can.I just hope you don’t..think differently of me” He commented, the expression on his face solemn as he looked at Hugo. Hugo sat, lost for words, as he stared at the boy in front of him. Wow. That was...a lot of emotional baggage that was just unpacked. Not that it was a problem - in fact, Varian talking about his feelings was FAR better than him keeping them in but..wow.

 “Varian.” he began, taking the younger boy’s hands in his own. “I don’t care who you were before, I care who you are now. So what if you were a criminal? So was I. I grew up on the streets after my parents abandoned me at birth. It was hard, but I had to do it to survive. Then Donella took me in and showed me a different way to make money - using my engineering skills to take commissions and make machines for people and sell them.” He paused for a second, realising he was rambling. “What i mean to say is...I love you, Varian. Regardless of who you were before. I love you.” Shakily, he stopped and their eyes locked, anxiety building in his stomach as Varian’s eyes studied his face in silence. “I’m sorry if I’m moving too fast with this-fuck,I should go-”

 His words were cut off as the younger boy lunged forward, wrapping his arms round the blonde’s neck and knocking him back onto the sofa. Their lips met in an admittedly sloppy kiss, neither of them really caring as Hugo’s hand drifted to rest on Varian’s waist. They settled into the kiss, heads tilting and eyes remaining shut as their lips moved against each other in perfect harmony, with the only sound they could hear being each other’s heartbeats as their chests pressed against each other and the occasional breathy moan escaping from either boy’s mouth.

 Varian was the one to break the kiss, sitting in Hugo’s lap with a wide grin plastered on his face as he stared down at the older male with the utmost affection in his eyes. “I love you too, Hugo. I love you so much-god, it feels so good to finally say that. I love you, I love you, I love you.” He kept repeating, giving time for Hugo to prop himself up on his elbows and lean in for another kiss - this one being far superior to the amateur one prior. It was slow, sweet and gave Hugo plenty of time to savour the taste of vanilla that lingered on Varian’s lips.

 Hugo, eventually managing to pry Varian off his lap with very little struggling from the other, picked the teen up in his arms and trailed fleeting kisses down his neck and across his collarbone as they stumbled to his room, the soft moans Varian let out not helping Hugo’s ability to focus in the slightest. Despite all odds, they got there and Hugo immediately got to work. Laying Varian down, he hovered over him and proceeded to kiss him senseless, pulling back to observe the swollen lips and scarlet blush over his face that he’d grown so accustomed to seeing. He loved it. He loved everything about this boy - the name Varian now synonymous with perfection in his mind. Alas, he was exhausted and didn’t want to push the other too far after the absolute rollercoaster today was.

 “As much as I would love to take this further, and believe me, I would, I’m exhausted and want my eight hour beauty sleep, thank you very much.” he stated as he lay down beside Varian, pulling him close by his waist and into a tight embrace.

 “Yeah, you sure as hell need it.” Varian added snarkily, cackling as Hugo began to tickle him. “NO! Ah-Fuck! I’m sorry! Just stop!” he yelled between fits of laughter as he curled up into a ball against the man beside him. Hugo relented, his arm moving around the raven haired teen as he rested his head on his chest after pulling the green bed covers over them both. “Goodnight Hugo..I love you.” he whispered, his eyes fluttering shut as he drifted off to sleep.

 Hugo took a second to admire the boy, the same lovestruck smile creeping its way onto his face yet again. He was so stunning no matter what he did. Hugo couldn’t get enough of him - his greed proving useful for once in his life. A sigh of happiness left his lips as he placed a gentle kiss on the sleeping boy’s forehead. “I love you too, Varian. Goodnight, my dear.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 As Varian’s eyes opened in the morning, the first thing that registered in his brain was the unusually large amount of sunlight bleeding in through the window. As he grew accustomed to this invasive light, he realised. He wasn’t in his room. It was too green, and the lack of a particular fatass cat just proved his point further.

 The second thing that registered was the sound of humming heading closer and closer to the door. The door swung open and in stepped Hugo, carrying a small tray with two plates stacked with blueberry pancakes, two cups and a bottle of syrup. His hair wasn’t tied up yet, the golden locks sitting a few inches above his shoulders and concealing that dumb undercut. (He’d claimed it was a ‘pinnacle of fashion’ that Varian wouldn’t understand considering how his outfit on that day was, in his words, ‘a fashion crime worthy of a life sentence’, however Varian begged to differ.)

 “Hey beautiful. Hope you’re okay with blueberry pancakes. They’re the only breakfast food I can cook, and as a poor college student, I can’t afford a toaster, so these were the only option.” He elaborated as he placed the tray on a desk pressed against a wall. A desk with a silver cage on, housing a tiny, gold furred mouse. Hugo sauntered over with Varian’s plate and cup, handing it to him.

 “Wow, your rat matches you.” he commented, a smug grin on his face as he shuffled up into a seating position to take a sip from his coffee. He set it aside on the bedside table and dug into his pancakes, moaning as he took his first bite. “Holy shit Hugo, where did you learn to cook like this? It’s perfect!”

“Darling, I was blessed with impeccable culinary skills from birth. Isn’t that right, Livi?” he glanced over at the mouse, who let out a little squeak as he sat on the bed beside Varian, placing a kiss to his temple before beginning to eat. “Her name’s Olivia. The mouse, I mean. I’ve had her for a few months, but she’s a darling.” he explained as he began to eat his pancakes, letting his boyfriend cuddle against him. Hugo bit his lip gently as his eyes caught sight of the purple bruises across Varian’s neck and collarbone, his cheeks gaining a deep red tint to them.

 “Makes sense. Also, you wanna explain the weird obsession with green? I swear, the amount of green I’ve seen here..you could have your own episode of My Strange Addiction!” he laughed before his gaze met Hugo’s now-solemn expression. “Shit, Hugh I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t-”

 “It’s fine. First off, I have an aesthetic to uphold and I’m not giving it up for anything. And..well, where I grew up..it was called Pittsford. Worst place in the world. Very economically divided. It uh..I grew up in the poor part of town, which was all just mines and vendors. All of the parks and greenery were in the higher class parts..parts we weren’t allowed in as ‘filthy, lower-class peasants’. As soon as me and Donella moved here, there was so much green everywhere...so much grass and so many trees...I couldn’t get enough! I fell in love with the color, hence why it’s everywhere. I just don’t want to not see it again.” he finished, glancing over at Varian. “Sob story, right? Sorry for bringing down the mood.”

 Varian smiled sadly, reaching up to turn his boyfriend’s head in his direction. “I think it’s a cute quirk. I’ll be sure to wear more green.” He stated, defining every word before placing a soft, loving kiss to Hugo’s lips, cupping his cheek.

 “Oh no you don’t! Green is my color!” Hugo declared as he leaned down, pushing his boyfriend back against the pillows and peppering kisses all over his face before proceeding to kiss his lips again. Slowly but surely, it got more intense between them, with Hugo’s hands moving to slide up Varian’s shirt and fingers danced across the skin beneath it before Varian broke the kiss. “We should-” he tried to catch his breath, panting and breathing heavily, “we should take this slower, okay?”

 “Fine by me, hairstripe!” he smiled, removing his hands and standing. He gathered some clothes from his closet. “Don’t mind me, I’m going to have a shower, alright?” he asked, watching as Varian nodded.

 “Hey Hugo?” Varian spoke, Hugo with one foot out the door as he turned on his heel to look at the boy in his bed. He looked adorable with bedhead. Hugo should invite him to stay the night more often, he noted. “Does uh..does this make us boyfriends?”

 Hugo shrugged. “I don’t mind. Do you want us to be?” He asked, Varian immediately replying with a frantic nod of approval. With a wicked grin, Hugo strode over and lowered himself onto one knee. “Okay then, Varian Ruddiger! Would you do me the pleasure of becoming my boyfriend?” He proclaimed, taking Varian’s hands in his own.

 “You’re such a dork.” The other replied, though the smile on his face spoke volumes to what he was truly thinking about the scene in front of him. “But yes, I shall become your boyfriend, Hugo Atkinson. Now go enjoy your shower! You need it!”

 Hugo shoved Varian as he laughed hysterically and gathered his clothes in his arms again. He took one last look at the teen before he strolled down to the bathroom across the hall. He ran the water and leaned back against the door, resting his hand over his mouth to hide his ridiculously wide smile. Wow. Varian was his boyfriend. Varian Ruddiger was his boyfriend. He couldn’t help the bubbly feeling that took over his body as he trailed his hand through his hair. He really was the luckiest guy in the world.

 Varian let out a little giggle and fell back against the pillows again, stunned into silence. He really was dating the biggest nerd in the world, huh? And the best thing was..he couldn’t be happier. Everything was looking up for him - thanks to his and Eugene’s argument, him and the boy he loved were finally together.

 He swung his legs over the bed to find he’d slept in the same clothes he wore yesterday, cringing slightly. No wonder he was so uncomfortable. There was no way he was borrowing Hugo’s clothes either - those things would dwarf him if he even attempted to wear them. That thought didn’t stop him, however, from sneakily taking a green hoodie from the closet, the Corona High symbol on the arm. He pulled it on and walked through the apartment.

 Despite how small it was, he loved the place. It was so Hugo - every inch of it felt exactly like his boyfriend had decorated it. Huh, boyfriend. The thought made the corners of his lips twitch up in a ghost of a smile. It sounded right - like it was meant to be used to describe Hugo and only Hugo. However, one thing that shocked him was the significant lack of pictures. The only thing that came close were framed movie posters, the rest being newspaper headlines and neon green sticky notes which, upon closer inspection, had questions on various topics about engineering. He’d have to buy him some frames and take more pictures when they went out - that way Hugo would have more to hang on the walls.

 His eyes passed over the shelves against the wall, filled to the brim with books on engineering, chemistry, physics and biology. He took one out and skimmed through the pages. They seemed very outdated and old - so most likely a hand-me-down. Maybe they were from that Donella woman he kept bringing up? Anyhow, he slid the book back into place on the shelf and continued his journey down the hall to the living room.

As he passed a mirror in the hallway, he caught sight of purple bruises littered around his neck and collarbones. Oh my god, Eugene was going to kill him-

 Oh shit.

 Eugene.

 He dashed into the living room and searched frantically for his phone, finding it on the glass coffee table alongside the coffee cups they’d discarded last night in favour of more..engaging activities. He picked it up and checked the home screen. Thirteen missed calls from Eugene, ten from Rapunzel. He was in trouble next time he saw them, he thought.

 “V?” Hugo’s voice called through the apartment as he entered the room, his eyebrow raised as he tied his hair back. “You alright there, dollface?” he asked, walking to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around his waist from behind. “Are you okay?” He enquired yet again, placing a gentle kiss to the junction between Varian’s collarbone and neck.

 “Hugh, we’re in trouble.” He said simply, showing Hugo the screen. The other boy’s eyes widened and he stepped back. “Shit, V.” he chewed his bottom lip in thought before slumping onto the couch. “I uh...how about you send them the address and...and we can all try and talk it out?” he reasoned.

 Varian gulped and pressed ‘Call’ under Rapunzel’s contact, joining his boyfriend on the sofa and letting himself be pulled into yet another embrace by the taller male. It rang. One...two..three times before a frantic voice came through on the other end.

 “Varian Ruddiger, we have been worried SICK about you!” she declared through the phone, the boy in question pulling the device away from his ear slightly and wincing. “Where are you? Are you okay? Please tell me you’re safe-”

 “Rapunzel, I’m fine. I just...I need to talk to you. And Eugene. At Hugo’s apartment. I’ll send through the address just...please. I need you to hear us out. To hear me out.” he sighed and leant back against him, his head resting on the other teen’s chest who proceeded to play with his hair.

 A long silence came from the other end of the phone before a sigh came through. “Okay.” she said, finally, “Send it through and we’ll be there as soon as possible. I love you, Varian.”

 “I love you too, Rapunzel.” He said softly, hanging up and sending the address of Hugo’s apartment to his sister, letting out a breath he didn’t even realise he’d been holding in. Now all that was left to do was wait, he thought as Hugo held him in his arms.

 God, he hoped this went well.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, March 29

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Panic at the Palace -- Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, Prince William, Duchess Kate Middleton

Page 1: Big Pic -- Kevin Bacon and Juliette Lewis were among the many artists who put on a performance for Linda Perry's Rock 'N' Relief Live Stream Concert Series, benefitting Sean Penn's CORE Response organization

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Sparks are flying between Sandra Bullock and Brad Pitt on the set of their new action movie Bullet Train and not just when the cameras are rolling -- their chemistry is through the roof and Sandra lights up whenever she's around Brad and some of the cast and crew could swear they've seen him blushing in her presence -- Brad and Sandra have been hanging out more than your typical costars and they have a lot in common and seem to really enjoy each other's company and they'll frequently spend their breaks socializing and they can often be heard laughing over each other's stories and topics of conversations range from mutual friends and house repairs to more personal stuff, like kids

Page 6: Bruce Willis turned 66 on March 19 and as he celebrates the occasion, he has been reflecting on his life and it's been quite the journey but Bruce looks back at it all with that classic smirk

Page 7: Producers of the Gossip Girl reboot have been begging Blake Lively to join the cast of the new show but she's turned up her nose at the idea -- she's not ungrateful, because the original show made her star, but she closed the book on that part of her life a long time ago -- she's blissfully content in her role as a mom to daughters James, Inez and Betty whom she shares with her husband Ryan Reynolds and being a stay-at-home parent and filming an occasional movie sounds way more appealing to her than returning to that hothouse Gossip Girl universe -- she says she had her show and wants the new team to have theirs, but to die-hard fans, it still feels like a major snub

* After calling it quits on her romance with Ben Affleck in January, Ana de Armas is ready to play the field and Hollywood's heartthrob du jour, Rege-Jean Page has caught her eye and she was over the moon when the Bridgerton hunk recently signed on to her new thriller The Gray, which also stars Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans -- of course, Rege is gorgeous, but Ana also likes that he isn't your typical Tinseltown success story and comes from a rich cultural background, just like she does and she's hoping to get to know him better once they start shooting in L.A. -- while Ana has been warned that won't sit well with Rege's live-in girlfriend, Emily Brown, that doesn't seem to bother Ana

* Janet Jackson's life story is set to get the full documentary treatment next year, and no stone will be left unturned when it comes to her famously dysfunctional family -- the family is freaking out, as well they should be -- Janet will be brutally honest about her late father Joe Jackson, who bullied her and made her feel like she was nothing with out him but her siblings say they had it much worse especially when it came to Michael Jackson, who suffered verbal and physical abuse from Joe throughout his childhood -- Janet, who became a mom at 50 with her businessman ex, Wissam Al Mana, is also ready to tell all about their divorce and custody battle -- doing this documentary has been incredibly cathartic for her and she can't wait to shed light on her family's deep, dark secrets

Page 8: Angelina Jolie has been legally single for two years, and now she's finally ready to mingle -- she's been laying low since her 2016 split from Brad Pitt and she's feels it's time to get out there and she's eager to meet some new and interesting men and the mom of six is open to being hooked up by Hollywood pals like Ellen Pompeo, whom she was seen dining with in Beverly Hills and Angie likes the idea of dating a fellow A-lister who can relate to her about living in the spotlight and Ellen's been helping out with suggestions -- Angie is even open to joining an elite dating service and now the hunt is on to find a suitable bunch of candidates -- she wants fun and adventure again and after months of just being Mom, dressing up, putting on some perfume and engaging in stimulating conversation sounds good to Angie

* It's only been six months since Drew Barrymore launched her chirpy daytime talk show, but behind the scenes, she's on the verge of a major meltdown -- the multitasking mom who shares daughters Olive and Frankie with ex-hubby Will Kopelman, has no idea that juggling work and family would be this hard and she's feeling pressure from every side -- she desperately wants to be there for the kids, but she's trying to make her show a hit, and with her production company, she has a million others things on her plate as well -- the stressed-out star has also been chowing down on junk food and drinking too much caffeine so she can't get more than a few hours of sleep a night -- Drew doesn't want to let anyone down, but if she doesn't dial it back, she's going to collapse from exhaustion

* Matthew Perry announced his engagement to his on-off girlfriend Molly Hurwitz in November, but he seems to be having second thoughts -- he's crazy in love, but he's scared of messing up a good thing by making things official and he also worries what kind of husband he'll make given his health woes and battles with addiction -- Molly has faith in Matthew, but she can see wedding planning is stressing him out, even more so now that the Friends reunion is set to start shooting and he's pushing himself to go through with it, but his doubts are gnawing away at him

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars show some skin in dramatic decolletage-baring frocks -- Nicole Richie, Aja Naomi King

Page 11: Kate Hudson, Becky G, Mindy Kaling

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Kat Graham vs. Nicole Kidman in Erdem, Oliva Wilde vs. Bella Hadid in Ralph Lauren

Page 13: Danielle Bradbery vs. Paula Abdul in Hamel

Page 14: News in Photos -- Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox stepped out for dinner in West Hollywood

Page 16: Ariel Winter brightened up her monochromatic look with a pink face mask during a trip to the hair salon in West Hollywood, Justin Theroux went for a walk with his beloved dog Kuma in NYC, Arnold Schwarzenegger was spotted on his daily bike ride in L.A.

Page 17: Susan Sarandon stopped to get her caffeine fix while shopping solo in Soho

Page 18: Lea Michele proved to be quite the doting mother while walking with her son in a stroller in Brooklyn, Lucy Hale and her dog Elvis were inseparable during an outing in L.A., Krysten Ritter took her RadRover electric bicycle out for a spin in L.A.

Page 19: John Stamos and his wife Caitlin McHugh stopped by an antique shop where they purchased a bunch of old goodies in Santa Monica

Page 20: This year, instead of a traditional runway show, Moschino released a 12-minute film featuring Karen Elson, Shalom Harlow and Amber Vallera wearing new styles from the Fall/Winter 2021 line

Page 21: Alessandra Ambrosio caught up with a pal while walking dogs in L.A., David Harbour eating a treat while out and about in NYC, Daisy Ridley stopped by The Graham Norton Show in London

Page 22: Amelia Gray Hamlin and boyfriend Scott Disick caught some rays while vacationing in Miami, Katie Holmes and boyfriend Emilio Vitolo Jr. color-coordinated their gray-and-black outfits for a lunch date in NYC, Rebel Wilson taking a walk around the neighborhood in L.A.

Page 24: While on the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Rachel Brosnahan shielded herself with a see-through umbrella, a newly brunette Lady Gaga in a white suit as she left her hotel in Rome to film the upcoming Gucci biopic, The Masked Singer panelist Jenny McCarthy gave herself a last-minute touch-up before posing for some promo shots

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Chelsea Handler's sleek setup -- she is checking out of her longtime L.A. home

Page 28: In 2009, LeAnn Rimes made headlines when she was caught hooking up with her costar Eddie Cibrian while they were both married to other people and now, more than a decade later, she is opening up about that time in her life and spilling secrets that she's never shared before -- looking back, LeAnn thinks it's unfair that she got raked over the coals like that and the public shaming caused her to suffer panic attacks and all LeAnn did was fall in love -- of course, there are likely big regrets about the way everything happened, but she and Eddie never meant to hurt anyone and they just had this connection they couldn't walk away from and a few months after their romance was revealed LeAnn parted ways with then-husband Dean Sheremet and Eddie filed for divorce from Brandi Glanville and they wed in 2011 -- while LeAnn has been a great stepmom to Eddie's sons Mason and Jack, she'd love to have a child of her own someday and she and Eddie have tried and tried with no success and now that she's pushing 40, they know time is ticking and they could always go the surrogate route, and they just might do it if it doesn't happen naturally in the next few months

Page 29: Liam Hemsworth has been dating Gabriella Brooks for 15 months, and he's so smitten that he could put a ring on it any day now -- Liam's made it clear that he's ready to walk down the aisle again after calling it quits in longtime love Miley Cyrus in 2019 -- everyone is thrilled because Gabriella is so sweet and easygoing, which is just what Liam needs -- Gabriella has already gotten the stamp of approval from the Hemsworth clan, who had long been skeptical of Miley and when Liam brought Gabriella home, his parents thought, that's more like it -- now that Liam's settled in at his new $5 million spread on Byron Bay, all signs point to him popping the question because he's never been happier

* Shedding post-pregnancy weight is never easy but luckily Katy Perry has a secret weapon to help her get back in shape which is Orlando Bloom -- Katy had already dropped 35 pounds since giving birth to the couple's first child, Daisy Dove, thanks to her fitness-obsessed fiance and Orlando has her eating five small vegan meals a day and he follows the same diet to make it easier for her, and Orlando makes sure she hikes or swims at least five days a week and those are the type for fun activities where he can join her -- Orlando's also her biggest cheerleader: during their recent Hawaiian getaway, Katy was nervous because she felt she hadn't lost enough weight but Orlando told her she was one sexy momma and he really is her biggest supporter

* Despite the pandemic, Nicole Kidman's remained one of the busiest women in Hollywood, which is getting under her stuck-at-home husband's skin -- while Keith Urban was forced to cancel his concert tour last year, Nicole had a whirlwind 2020, shooting her miniseries Nine Perfect Strangers in Australia and her historical thriller The Northman in Northern Ireland back-to-back and it's been incredibly hard on Keith because it drives him crazy not being able to get out there on stage -- Nicole hates seeing him the dumps, but she's told him he's lucky to be able to spend so much time with their daughters Sunday and Faith -- with Nicole set to play comedy legend Lucille Ball in Being the Ricardos, which starts filming this spring, that can only put more stress on the marriage but Nicole has no plans to slow down, and she's not making any apologies

Page 30: Patrick Duffy and Linda Purl went from zero to 60 practically overnight, but their turbo-charged romance appears to be slowing down -- ever since Patrick and Linda reconnected last summer, the late-in-life lovebirds have been joined at the hip at Linda's Colorado home, where things have gotten too close for comfort because Patrick's a laid-back guy, but he hasn't had a moment to himself because Linda is always pushing him to get outdoors and do stuff with her and Patrick feels the need for more space and some along time -- spending every moment together and hanging on each other's every word was fun for a while, but they don't want to lose their independence and they realize they need to bring their relationship back down to earth if they actually want to go the distance

* After nearly five blissful years together, Britney Spears and Sam Asghari are still going strong, and it looks like a baby could be in their near future -- Sam recently sent tongues wagging when he revealed that he wants to take their relationship to the next step and be a young dad and Britney is totally on board because she has always wanted another child and now with Sam raring to go, she figures it's the perfect time -- growing her family would be a welcome distraction from Britney's bitter battle with her father Jamie Spears over her controversial conservatorship

* Love Bites -- Jenni "JWoww" Farley and Zack Carpinello engaged, Morena Baccarin and husband Ben McKenzie welcomed a son named Arthur, Nicolas Cage and Riko Shibata married

Page 32: Cover Story -- Palace in Crisis -- the Royal Family is in disarray following Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's bombshell tell-all -- what really offended them was how much Harry and Meghan said they love Queen Elizabeth in one sentence and attacked the institution, everything she stands for and works for, in the next -- it's going to take a miracle for Harry to reconcile with his family after what he and Meghan revealed

Page 36: Celebrity Hall Passes -- stars reveal the Hollywood crushes their partners have granted as freebies -- Eric Decker gets Jessica Alba and his wife Jessie James Decker gets Post Malone

Page 37: Lisa Vanderpump gets George Clooney, Seth Rogen gets Charlize Theron while his wife Lauren Miller gets Brad Pitt, Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa both get Cynthia Bailey

Page 38: Taron Egerton gets Rachel Weisz while his girlfriend Emily Thomas gets Daniel Craig, Kyle Richards wouldn't let her husband Mauricio Umansky near Eva Longoria or Demi Moore but he gets a hall pass for Betty White, Beau Clark gets Bethenny Frankel while wife Stassi Schroeder gets Joaquin Phoenix

Page 40: Interview -- Queen Latifah -- the entertainment icon is having a blast kicking butt in her new TV crime drama The Equalizer

Page 42: The Great Outdoors -- these stars know fresh air and fitness make a killer combo

Page 46: Style Week -- Hailey Bieber has been named global ambassador for Superga's Spring/Summer 2021 season

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- lifestyle brand Sporty & Rich just launched chic athleisure pieces to help you look effortlessly cool this season -- Amber Valletta

Page 49: Stylish Shades -- shop Ashley Graham's flattering frames the model's new collection with Quay

Page 50: Chic House Dresses -- trade knits for airy frocks that will make you feel beautiful all through spring -- Whitney Port

Page 52: Girls' Getaway -- planning a safe spring break with a few BFFs? Pack these stylish essentials to easily look fab on the fly -- Rita Ora

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Wayne Brady

Page 58: Buzz -- Lady Gaga sent the internet into a frenzy after sharing a behind-the-scenes photo of herself with Adam Driver from the set of their Ridley Scott movie, House of Gucci

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Cardi B on staying away from celebs, Mary Steenburgen on husband Ted Danson, Kate Hudson on her iconic yellow dress from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Page 61: Paul Bettany on his stunt with Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code, Jada Pinkett Smith on not focusing on exterior beauty at age 49, Nikki Bella on being intimate with fiance Artem Chigvintsev, Charlize Theron on homeschooling, Julia Garner on her roles of choice

Page 62: Horoscope -- Aries Jessica Chastain turned 44 on March 24

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Paris Hilton

[idgaf-what-you-call-me]

This is the first time, outside of therapy, that I am opening up fully my past, I ask that you remain respectful.

Trigger warnings: Suicide, torture, neglect, alcoholism, … a lot listen you’ve got to be well resourced before you read this. 

I know Dean, because I was Dean. I was raised to be “perfect”, I am so much like my dad, I didn’t have a childhood, I was tortured, I have lost time (dissociation not possession by an arc angel), I am fairly closeted, and I’m finally starting to get better. 

Ever since a very young child, I was raised to be perfect. To look at a 99 and learn what I got wrong before I brought the grade home, otherwise, I was sent to study. I was raised to not be heard and taught to stay in my room. I was raised to not show emotion because anything more than stoic meant that I was an inconvenience. I had “fend for yourself nights” where I had to sort out what I would eat for dinner, and at inexcusably young ages, 5-6 years old. I learned to shoot at 8, and was taken fishing anytime my dad went. I was brought to the construction sites, learned how to use power tools, and eventually had my own set at home. While I wasn’t trained to hunt demons or other things that go bump in the night, I was molded to be just like my dad. My mom wasn’t around much when I was a kid, so I idolized my father. He was like a god to me. As I got older (legal), I even would drink things that my dad approved of like scotch and I smoked cigars. Often praised, “that’s my girl! Look guys, my daughter drinking scotch and smoking a cigar! Where are your kids?” The validation was like a high to me. I was desperate for his approval. Just like Dean. Talked like his dad, walked like his dad, drank like his dad, I get it. 

I was blatantly ignored including being told that I was invisible by siblings. They would hold up a remote to me and say, “you’re invisible” and ignore me. I could leave the house and they would not come look for me. With my mom and dad often gone (usually working or partying we were quite poor), I didn’t have anyone looking after me since I was 4 so when my dad was around, much like Dean, all I wanted to do was make him happy and proud of me.

I was a closeted bisexual, who made so many gay jokes towards my cishet brother that I feel quite a bit of shame as an adult. I repressed every facet of desire I had for the opposite gender because being bisexual really meant that I must be gay. At least that is what Will and Grace told me, and I did not want to be gay. Things were bad enough, I didn’t need to add to my shit pile. By the time I was 12, I had no idea how to feel emotions and I had no idea how to love myself. Most days, now at 29, I still don’t know how to love myself. I am not out to everyone in my family. I don’t feel safe with everyone. All the gay jokes between the brothers, all the Dean is bi subtext, I lived a lot of it.

Torture can take the shape of many different forms but they fall under two umbrellas: physical and psychological. I was subjected to sound torture and sleep deprivation forms of physical torture that have lasting psychological effects. When you live through something like that, you don’t “rebound” in the traditional sense, and I would dissociate. My consciousness would retreat back into itself until it was safe enough to come back.

I dreaded Thursday nights as that is when it would begin. My father would bring home several cases of Michelob Ultra, from the store, and then he would start drinking. My dad didn’t measure his consumption in beers, instead he measured by the case. A form of extreme binge drinking that to this day I still don’t completely understand. While he would drink, his music would get progressively louder and louder until the whole house vibrated with noise. 

There are some songs and artists that I cannot listen to anymore. They’re not songs by Metallica or Black Sabbath, instead they’re by Credence Clearwater Revival, Bob Dylan, Van Morrison and the like. Songs that people dance to at their weddings, sing at funerals, and enjoy on a road trip with the entire family. They are generally described as lively yet not heavy, yet this music was the conduit of 5 years of actual torture for me. I used to say that these were my favorite songs, but it was a way to cope with hearing them at home, and then hearing them play in the car on the way to school the next morning. In my house, the music was played so loudly that walls and floors shook and overwhelmed my senses and ability to sleep, think, do anything but have a heartbeat and breathe. It would last all night. I never learned to “fall asleep” I would pass out. To this day, I can be desperately tired, and able to drive for several hours without being a dangerous driver. Like my body learned to ignore fatigue. “I just need like 4 hours every couple of days,” yeah Deano, I’ve been there.

I would freeze mentally. Almost like a zone out but on steroids. Then I’d look around and things wouldn’t feel real to me. I would look in the mirror and see a stranger. Now I understand that I had developed dpdr as a way to cope. I don’t wish it on anyone.

My mother? She would leave the house and go clubbing. My siblings were 8 years older than me and lived on their own a great distance from where I lived. Besides, I had school to go to on Fridays. So I cooked, I monitored myself, I had to become an adult. I didn’t get to be a kid. My catharsis was angsty and fluffy Harry Potter fan fiction. You can find it on FF.net, RandHrFan I no longer post with that handle. Dean’s were movies, movies that my dad, and I’d wager his dad watched. I also love westerns just like my dad and my grandfather, there is something about them.

When Dean cries and opens up to Sam about his hell experiences, I get it. I’m so proud of him for telling Sam. To some it seems like he’s closed off but he’s not. He’s opening up as much as he mentally can. And Sam listens. Just like my sister eventually did. When Dean gets mad and yells at John and Mary, I’m proud of him, because he is fighting for himself. He knew he deserved better and he didn’t let it go. Just like I have done in my not so distant past.

All the while my parent’s marriage was fracturing and I was mentally declining. My mom began sleeping in my room and in my bed, and I was basically left to sleep on the couch. On days when my dad would drink, and my mom would go out, I could get to be in my room again. I could be on the computer (laptops weren’t a thing yet) which lived in my room. I could connect with the two other friends on AIM, but the reality of my situation I couldn’t escape. I was isolated, didn’t trust my family and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

One day I attempted to take my life. I saw no value in it. What was I doing with my life. I was a broken human who didn’t deserve love, who didn’t deserve safety, who didn’t deserve well anything. So I downed a bottle of pills. I had an iron clad stomach, I wasn’t too worried about not being successful. Except, I sent a goodbye message to a friend, and that friend saved my life. He got a hold of my sister who got to me in enough time to make me throw up. (She was a champ at that, having suffered from bulimia and taught to throw up from no other than my dad.)

I didn’t receive help afterwards. I signed a paper saying that I wouldn’t attempt again and was taken home. (I hope this isn’t how hospitals roll anymore.) I left my house, I went to school out of state and found stability, created stability for myself. But my past still haunted me whenever I went home. So when Dean has a death wish, and gets discharged from hospitals before he’s stable, I get it.

My parents eventually divorced, and I came home to a place where I couldn’t live anymore for a solid couple of months, I couch surfed, and again my mental health took a nosedive, but nevertheless, I persisted. I got my head back in the game, and finished my degree. Chemistry. I couldn’t go back home, because if I did I’d be working for my dad. I couldn’t do that, it was too painful. So I went to grad school. I got my Ph.D. I began to chart my own path. But there was a rage in me that I couldn’t escape. I lashed out at anyone and everyone to hide the pain that I felt all the time. People were afraid of me. I was great at what I did but I couldn’t make lasting connections with others.

When I was 27 suicidal ideations became dangerous, and I got about as dark. I tried to harm myself, and wanted my world to burn. It didn’t matter that I was married, with pets, and owned a home. Nothing mattered. I finally had to decide between life and death, I couldn’t continue in that state. I can say confidently that I would be dead if I didn’t get help that day. I wish Dean had this chance. He gets close to this in moments with Cas when he is honest about his feelings and experiences, he cries, he gets angry, lashes out, but Cas is there for him. From someone like Dean, I’ll tell you Cas being present holds more weight than gold for Dean.

I have been in intense therapy for a year. By intense I do mean more than once a week, regular check ins with her, and the occasional group session. She sends me articles to read, homework, and we do EMDR work, emotional integration therapy, mindfulness, etc. 

It was then that I began to learn that all the rage that I had built inside me was hiding intense fear, loss, and disappointment. The rage gave way to tears, and the tears gave way to a new anger that I could make peace with. That anger comes from the person I am today. The person who fights for herself. Who doesn’t take shit from anyone. The person who says, humans don’t break, vases break, and I am a human. I see a lot of that in late season Dean. He is a fighter. 

But I am still the person who receives a compliment and shuts down, there is still a side of me that doesn’t believe that I deserve nice things, good things to happen to me, but that person is getting smaller. My therapist likes to hit me with compliments when I am vulnerable as I am more likely to believe them. I still react like a dead fish when she says them, and then after the session sob for hours over it. One day my head and my heart will believe the same things about myself. I would have reacted the same way as Dean to that confession. 

When the cards fall, I still know that I can depend on myself before anyone else because I had to. My life as an impoverished, unstable, depressed, neglected, and abused kid says I should be dead or amounting to nothing, but hear I am. I’ve now closely mentored about 20 undergraduate students, a handful of graduate students, and have helped them find their paths in life. I have taught nearly 1000 students. I made a difference with the life that I tried to throw away. 

I have come to a place where I can love my dad. He is sober again, and yes, my love for him does depend on his sobriety. When he is drinking he is not the same person. I wouldn’t call him an A+ dad by a long shot, and hell I am so much like him that at times it makes me sick, but I do love him. I have been able to forgive him. Forgive in the sense that I can make peace with what happened. It doesn’t change what happened or how much it affected me, and I certainly don’t forget, but that isn’t what forgiveness is. I don’t hold the rage anymore. The fact that Dean is able to is personal for Dean, as it is for me, and it isn’t some “family that is what you do” type reason.

I do experience flashbacks when there are fireworks, I can’t go to a movie theatre because of the volume, when people play really loud music in their cars I typically have to peel off into a parking lot and meditate for 20 minutes to be able to drive again. There are some stores that I don’t shop at because their music triggers me. So when Dean experiences those flashbacks, I get it.

There is a belief in the psychology that monster shows help us become comfortable with our dark sides. My dark side saved me over and over again. My dark side told me to be better than them. My dark side told me to fight for me, to adopt a survivor mindset. (If you can’t tell I am a green veined Slytherin and have never been sorted into any other house even by random house generators.) The things I delight in are a bit off color. I cultivate a poison garden, consume way too much true crime, to gore I say give me s’more and so on. Dean gets to experience his dark side, and he has to make peace with it. He makes inappropriate jokes, laughs at it, but he also does talk about it. 

This is the hard part: Just like Dean, I am also light. I love people (vomit), seriously though, they are more precious to me than any earthly possession. Plants bring me serenity. Animals are a comfort and companion in the worst of times. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to protect living things. My motivations come from a place of love and a need to protect others from what I have been through. I know I can survive, but I don’t know if that is true for everyone else.

I know Dean. I was Dean. I see that every episode. Moments when he yells and screams for himself, I cheer him on. Moments where he tries to waste his life away, I understand, and am crying right with him. The purgatory apology guts me, I’ve had to make that apology more than once. The dead fish reaction, hell that is me at the end of a therapy session. I am here to say: Dean is not broken. Dean is strong. Dean is resilient. Dean doesn’t just fight for himself, he fights for the whole of creation. Dean is not a vase. He is a human. 

Oh and John’s taste in beer, much like my fathers, is crap. Don’t drink shitty beer. Also, I don’t drink scotch anymore. I'm a gin girl and I drink *okay* beer. 

I’m the same blogger who does drunk blogging regarding Supernatural on Saturdays. It is a lovely bit of comfort and joy for me and I won’t be stopping any time soon. We will get back to the lovely and light “Dean is Bi he he” commentary this weekend. 

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 5

Aurora in Vogue & saying goodbye to Robin: May-June 2017    

Word count: 3.2k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts - vogue + robin

Stepping into the elevator of Avengers tower, Aurora felt all the stress of the past month leave her body. LA was always fun to visit, but it never felt like home the way NYC or London did and knowing she would be with her parents shortly, added to the feeling of comfort. After weeks of anxiety over the album being released, the pressure of performing again and the constant looming threat of Robins health, the thought of getting a hug from Steve was enough to bring tears to her eyes. The moment she stepped out into the penthouse, Steve and Tony were waiting for her and she gladly fell into Steve’s arms, immediately feeling Tony step behind her, his chest pressed against her back and sandwiching her in the middle of a family cuddle. She was grateful to be spending a week back home in the tower and excited for the photo shoot for Vogue in a few days’ time, however she couldn’t seem to avoid the anxious feeling in her gut whenever she thought of Harry.

She knew how deeply affected he was by his stepfather's continued deterioration and she wished that she had just cancelled the photo shoot and gone straight to Manchester with him to offer her support. Not only did she want to be there for her husband, but she also wanted to make the most of the short time she herself had left with Robin. She was desperately searching for a silver lining or really anything positive to hold on to and so far, all she had come up with was that she was grateful that they all had the opportunity to say goodbye to Robin. Her own mother’s passing had been so sudden and tragic, so she hoped that the time they had to spend with him and say farewell would help them process their grief just a little bit easier when the time finally came.

xXx

After spending a few days with her fathers, Aurora met with the photographer, designers and the rest of the team behind her photo shoot for her article in Vogue magazine. She wasn’t going to be on the cover of the magazine, instead only featuring in an article a few pages in and as such the photo shoot was not the grand spectacle you would assume it would be when Vogue was involved. Some of the photos were taken out on the quiet street outside the Queens photography studio, while the rest of the shoot took place inside. Aurora had plenty of fun, changing outfits and having her hair and makeup perfected and she chose to wear her prosthetic hand for some of the outfits, while leaving it off for others. By the end of the day, she was glad to be back in her own clothes and chatted away to Happy about the day as he drove her back across the East River.  

Steve had prepared a nice meal for the evening, and both he and Tony were waiting in the penthouse when she returned.

“It’s been so good to have you home this week kiddo,” Tony said while they ate. “We’ve missed you.”

“Missed you both too,” Aurora replied. “It’s been nice to just stop for a moment and hang out with you both. Everything is so hectic lately and it feels like Harry and I are always rushing to or from something. Get’s a bit much sometimes.”

“You know we’re always here when you need a break,” Steve promised, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder slightly.

“I know,” she smiled. “Means everything to know I can always come here, and it’ll feel like nothing’s changed.”

“Well some things might be a changing a bit,” Tony replied. “Steve and I have started looking into adoption or surrogacy.”

“You’re going to have a baby?” Aurora squealed, her face lighting up in delighted excitement. “Oh, that’s wonderful!”

“It won’t happen for a while,” Tony continued. “It’s not a simple process and there’s a lot of paperwork and the tower would need to be approved by a social worker and either Pops or I will need to take a lot of time off work, so nothing will happen any time soon. We just want you to be involved.”

“And I really want to be involved,” Rori replied. “This is going to be the luckiest kid in the world to have you two for parents.”

“You don’t think it’ll be weird to have a baby sibling when you’re old enough to be having your own kids?” Steve asked.

“Not at all,” she promised. “Besides you’re technically only 34 Pops. That’s not exactly too old to be having a baby you know.”

Tony stood from his seat and quickly pulled his daughter to her feet, wrapping her in a tight hug. “Gonna be such a lucky kid to have the best big sister in the world,” he mumbled in her ear and she simply squeezed him tighter before they were both enveloped by Steve’s arms.  

xXx

The day after Steve and Tony informed their daughter of their plans to expand their family, she packed her things and after a quick farewell, boarded a flight for Manchester. She was anxious the entire flight, pressing her thumb into the palm of her hand repeatedly or tapping her fingers on the tray table in front of her. Harry met her at the airport, his usual happy smile missing in action as he gave her a quick hug and then herded her back towards his car.

Aurora tried to enjoy her week in Holmes Chapel, she really did. She attempted to find the usual peace and comfort she usually felt when helping Anne in the kitchen, or when arguing with Harry over a game of scrabble about whether he was making up words, but all she felt, underlying every moment was looming dread. With every interaction between herself and anyone in the house she was painfully aware of the ticking clock hanging above their heads. Every time Robin coughed a little too hard or winced when he tried to stand up from the recliner in the living room, she was faced with the reality that she and Harry were there to say goodbye. She tried to hide it behind strained smiles and forced laughter, holding her tears off until everyone was asleep, and she could sneak outside to the back garden and let her sobs break free.

Despite knowing that it was very likely the last time she would see him, Aurora was grateful when it was finally time for her and Harry to return to London.  She felt as though she hadn’t taken a deep breathe since the moment she arrived, so as heartbreaking as it was to say goodbye for what she knew was very likely the last time, she was relieved to be also leaving behind the tense and terrifying atmosphere of the house. They both hugged Robin and Anne goodbye, holding on a few moments longer than usual and neither commented on the others tears as they pulled out of the driveway and merged onto the motorway headed south. There was nothing to say as the radio softly played, breaking what would have otherwise been tormenting silence as Harry drove.

xXx

After only a few weeks back in London and another tv performance, Harry received the call from his mother that they had been dreading for months on end. Robin had finally lost his battle against the disease that had been ravishing his body for near on a year. The moment Anne gasped out the terrible words, Harry’s world stopped turning. His breath caught in his chest, his ears rang in the silence that wrapped around him, and his knees buckled beneath him. Aurora was by his side the moment he fell to the floor, taking the phone from his loose grip and quietly taking over the conversation with Anne. They didn’t speak for long and after hanging up, Rori remained on the floor beside her husband, her arms wrapped tightly around him as he shook silently.

“Rori I can’t breathe,” Harry gasped after many long minutes of silence between the pair.

Aurora felt her heart breaking as she held him tightly against her, his face buried in the crook of her neck as he shuddered. “I know, H,” she soothed. “I know, I’ve got you.”

“It hurts,” Harry continued to sob. “I know he wasn’t my dad but…”

“No,” Rori interrupted. “Don’t you try that shit Harry, not with me.” She pulled him away from where his face was buried against her, each of her hands cupping his cheekbones, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Don’t you dare try to tell me that Robin wasn’t your father. Because if that’s true then Steve isn’t mine and I know losing him would hurt just as much as losing Mum did. He wasn’t your blood, but he was your dad and you’re allowed to feel this. Do you hear me Harry? You get to feel this. All of it. It hurts this much because he mattered, and he loved you. I know that you know that.”

“I can’t. I can’t do this Rors.”

“You can and you will,” Aurora promised. “Tonight, it’s just me here. You can cry or scream or whatever you need and then in the morning you’re going to pull yourself together and we are both going to be there for Anne.”

“Don’t leave me,” he mumbled.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, my love.”

Given the late hour of Anne’s call and the way that Harry had immediately crumbled, Aurora had decided that they would wait until the morning to drive north to Holmes Chapel, a decision that Anne had agreed with. After what seemed like the longest time, Rori finally coaxed Harry to his feet and helped him down the hall and into bed, only letting go of him long enough to strip out of their clothes before she returned to wrapping herself around his broad shoulders. They stayed awake until well after midnight and Aurora ran a soothing hand along Harry’s back as he clung to her. She pushed her own grief to the side, knowing that her husband needed to be able to lean on her without worrying about being a burden. She knew only too well the pain of losing a parent and she wanted nothing more than to shield her husband from that kind of pain, even though she knew that wasn’t possible.

xXx

Both Harry and Aurora were exhausted as they got ready to leave the following morning. They packed enough clothes for a week, knowing that they could just do laundry if they ended up staying longer and Harry carried their cases, and the garment bags holding their funeral outfits, downstairs to the car. Aurora followed behind him a few moments later, her hands full with travel mugs of coffee to keep them awake for the three hour drive up to Anne’s house. One stern look was all it took for Harry to give up arguing that he should drive and instead, he handed the keys to his wife and climbed into the passenger seat, gratefully sipping on the coffee she traded him for the keys. Aurora frowned as she watched him settle into his seat, before turning her attention back to pulling out of the garage and merging into the early morning traffic making its way out of the city. He looked terrible, his hair a mess, his eyes glassy and puffy, and his trademark smile was non-existent. She knew she probably didn’t look much better after staying up worrying about him all night and trying not to slip into her own feelings of grief she felt welling inside her. She would have time to grieve later, for now her entire focus was on her husband, as well as Anne and Gemma. Once she knew they were pulling themselves back together and supporting each other, then she would allow herself to cry and mourn Robin. Just as she had for Louis when his mother passed, now she put those around her first, taking on the caregiver role that she so naturally adopted in times like these. Even the mere thought of putting herself first made her feel sick to her stomach.

The drive was long, and Aurora was thankful when Harry finally fell asleep an hour into the drive as they passed Stokenchurch. She turned down the radio, driving silently for the next hour, following the motorway until she reached Strafford, taking the exit to stop for a coffee break. Harry continued to sleep, clearly exhausted from the lack of sleep the previous night, not even stirring when Aurora returned to the car and started the engine. She merged back onto the M6 and continued north until she finally arrived in Holmes Chapel. She reached out to gently shake Harry’s shoulder as they turned onto Anne’s street. He woke groggily, knuckling his eyes as Rori parked the car behind Gemma’s out the front of house. She laced her fingers through her husbands as they made their way up the path, the front door swinging open as the stepped onto the porch. Gemma didn’t say a word as she pulled her baby brother into a tight hug and then led them both inside to where Anne was sitting in the living room.

In any crisis, Aurora immediately stepped into a care giver role without really thinking about it and Robin’s death was one of the biggest crises she had ever encountered. For the first two days in Anne’s home, she cooked, cleaned and made sure that everyone always had a fresh cup of tea on hand. Between Anne, Gemma and Harry there was always at least one person in tears, but Anne tried her hardest not to let anyone wallow too much and instead insisted that they share their favourite memories of Robin. They had all sat around in the living room, laughing and sharing stories from years passed and while they were all deeply unhappy, this reminiscing did help lift the mood of the house. Rori spent many hours cuddled up on the sofa with Harry carding her fingers through his hair while he grieved or lying in bed next to each other talking late into the night while sleep alluded them both. Aurora manage to hold herself together and be the rock for everyone else in the house until their third night in Holmes Chapel.

It was late. Really late. Harry had finally fallen asleep, and with the rest of the house silent, Rori snuck downstairs and slipped out into the back garden. It was a clear spring night, a chill breeze blowing through the yard causing her to draw her cardigan tightly around herself. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly until it turned into a deep sob, the kind that felt like it would break a rib. She gasped for breath as she cried in the darkness, finally allowing herself to miss her father in law. Finally allowing herself to feel the loss without worrying about adding to Harry or Anne or Gemma’s grief. Her cries were loud enough that she didn’t hear the door open behind her, or the footsteps across the patio. She jumped a little when a pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. Gemma gripped her tightly as she shook.

“Was wondering when you were finally going to let it all out,” she whispered as Auroras sobs began to soften.

“I’m sorry,” Rori said, pulling back from Gemma’s hold and wiping at the tears running down her cheeks. “I’m ok. How are you?”

“Stop,” Gemma replied. “Stop acting like you’re not allowed to miss him too. It’s not a competition. I get that you’re trying to be strong for H and Mum and me, but you’re not helping anyone by holding it all in and then coming out here in the middle of the night to let it all out.”

“I just,” Aurora muttered, “I just don’t want Harry worrying about me right now. I can hold it together so that he can rely on me while he falls apart.”

“You know he’d be furious if he found out you were hurting and not letting him in,” Gemma said. “We can all lean on each other. That’s the whole point of the four of us staying here together.”

Aurora nodded in understanding, not knowing what to say since her sister in law was clearly hell bent on winning this disagreement. “Let’s go inside and make some tea.”

Both women trudged inside, settling on the kitchen stools as they waited for the kettle to boil. “It just isn’t fair,” Aurora murmured when Gemma handed a mug to her and re-joined her at the counter. “He deserved more time.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Gemma said. “I don’t even know what to say to Mum. After so many crap guys, she finally found her soulmate just to have him taken away. Makes me so angry.”

“Makes me angry too,” Aurora agreed. “Feels like we just keep losing parents. First my mum, then Jay, now Robin.”

“Makes me afraid of who’s next,” Gemma replied, gnawing at her bottom lip.

“What are you both doing up so late?” Harry mumbled from the doorway, startling both women. “It’s nearly 4am.”

“Did we wake you?” Rori asked. “Sorry baby.”

Harry shuffled further into the kitchen, immediately noticing that his wife had been crying as soon as he neared her. He didn’t say anything, instead stepping up to her side and pulling her tightly against his chest. Her arms wrapped around his bare torso, as she buried her face against one of the swallows nestled beneath his collarbones. “Please don’t pull away from me,” he whispered.

“Didn’t want to burden you,” Rori whispered back in reply.

Harry loosened the hug, pulling away enough to look her in the eyes. “You’re never a burden to me,” he promised, his voice serious. “We deal with this the same way we do everything, we do it together.”

Aurora didn’t know what to say so she remained silent and instead buried her face back into his chest and clung tightly to him, as if he would disappear the moment she let go. She never noticed Gemma slipping out of the room, but by the time she pulled herself together enough to lift her head away from Harry, the young couple were alone in the kitchen. Harry silently led her back to their room, pulling the covers over them and hugging her tightly against him, neither able to fall back asleep before the dawn light began peeking through the curtains a few hours later.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[lovepmd]

My Team HeadCannon from Explorers of the Sky

Ryan Takudo

Species: Shinx

Age: 15 Years old

Gender: Male

When Ryan was a human, he was a 15 year old university student in Nimbasa City University. Since he was a kid, he was inspired to become a Pokemon specialist when he visits to International Pokemon Convention in Hearthome City, Sinnoh. To fulfill his dream, he took the Trainer’s Exam and pass with flying colours. Obtained Tim when travelling to Hoenn with his friends when he stumbled a wild Treecko and decides to catch it. At school, his intelligence was shown as he can solve questions that was meant for higher education level. With his teacher’s approval, he finished his elementary and high school within a short time, 3 years to be exact. He took Zoologist as his major in the university, specialized in quadruped and electric type Pokemon.

One day, when he was alone at home with his and pet Pokemon, he saw something flew past by the window. He then goes out and saw an ultra-rare shiny Celebi, lying on the forest floor injured by the Darkrai. He then tried to help the Celebi but stopped by the pitch black Pokemon and knocked him out cold. After waking up, he had severe headache and being attend by his Grovyle. The Celebi had already attended by the wood gecko earlier thanks to his skills using wild berries as medicine. He realized that everything around him was stiffed, as if it the time has been stopped. Then the Time Travel Pokemon explained that his world was indeed paralyzed and must find a way to undo the situation, but not until he and the rest were running away from all sorts of Ghost-type Pokemon that hunted them down. In desperation, he and his Grovyle jumped into the Dimensional Portal created by the Celebi to redo the time but a mysterious force hit the portal and cause haywire which ultimately separated them. Unable to remember his past life, it’s up to him and his new partner to help him recover his memories and finishing his ultimate role before time runs out

Characteristics

At first, he have some trouble adapting his new body and stumbles a lot while trying to walk, but he manages to walk properly fairly quickly

Quick learner and very observant, possibly may learn a new move by simply observing and practices a lot, which some of his human traits were carried over when transformed into a Pokemon, without him realizing at all.

When in dungeons, he’s a quick thinker, critical in making quick decision when in danger, analytical in scanning the opponent’s movements in order to dodge incoming attacks. Excels in battles but not fairly well navigating through dungeons… sort of… (He’s embarrassed to admit it)

Despite being a quick learner and critical in making tactical decision, he’s quite hasty and sometimes his body work faster than his brain. He felt like being late is not an option. But luckily his partner can calm him down

A bit of geek when something interesting perk him up. Highly curious and tend to act before thinking thoroughly…(his biggest weakness which sometimes cause big troubles to the team)

He tends to smug whenever he was winning at something but almost always failed spectacularly in the process. Later, he utilizes his ‘trash talk’ ability when battling. Kinda like ‘a battle of mind before a battle of fist’ according to him, much to Mia’s disapproval.

  Ability

Ryan can summoned how much voltage does he wanted to use when using electrical attacks, like Magnemites evolution lines. He learn this ability when he first trained with Zarco, a local Electrivire when he asked for his help to master his electrical offensive moves. For example, when he wanted to use the move Spark, he will say “X VOLTS, SPARK!” where “X” is the voltage amount that he wanted to summon.

Example when he executes a move: “10,000 VOLTS, DISCHARGE!!”

Trivia

He has unusual traits as a Shinx. His eyes were blue in color instead of shiny golden color, a trait which carried over from human figure. He also have 5 pointed star shaped tail instead of four. This makes everyone scratching their heads about it, but this enable Ryan to gather 30% more electricity than any normal Shinx were and can glow 25% brighter.

He started to develop a crush on his partner when at the waterfall scene before exploring the Crystal Cave. Towards the end, he realized that he fall in love with her and affirm his love for her at the end of the story.

Mia Heather

Age: 15 years old

Species: Eevee

Gender: Female

Who doesn’t know Mia, a.k.a the “Walking Tome of Knowledge?” Her passion for adventures started when she visited the guild during the Guild’s Exhibition many years ago. Stories and tales which she heard from the guild members further fuels her interest to become an explorer in the future. One day, she found an odd looking stone with a strange engraving on her daily evening stroll at the beach, which she decides to use it as a lucky charm.

From that day, she began to study the rock, read all kinds of reading materials she could find in order to find out what stone it is. This also spark her interest in treasures and folklores. But one thing that she’s geek of is plants and berries. If Pokemon learn botany, she would be the top student in the class. With her exceptional knowledge in plants, she is a crucial asset for the team, especially when ongoing long missions which could take days to complete. She met Ryan one day after her another failed attempt to join the guild and instantly, their friendship sparked. With her new friend on her side, she finally succeeded joining the prestigious guild and her steps to become the greatest explorer became closer.

Characteristics

She always wanted to join the famous Wigglytuff’s Guild for years now, but her timid nature and lack of confidence were her biggest obstacle to overcome, which is why she doesn’t share her plethora of Pokemon and botany knowledge so often to others.

Despite that, she’s the one who never leave any teammates behind and willingly to stay, even in critical situation.

Her battling style is all about speed. She believes that speed will outcome every potential danger. Her running speed is use to its full potential but one thing she’s lacking is raw power. Usually Ryan will help her, but her timid nature sometimes get in her way, especially when she’s about to faint, hence the Run Away ability

She’s a quick adapter, meaning that she’ll fit in most of the tight situation by providing support to other teammates. Her Adaptability ability is not limited in her moveset, but her surroundings as well. Sometimes, she would lead the team, but her shyness overpowered her fairly quickly, especially meeting new Pokemon

Good sense of navigation, have sharp hearing (obviously…), exceptional memory and also second-in charge of the team. She’s also quite a neat freak as she always organized their stuffs in batches, even items in their treasure bag which she claimed for easier access… well for her and not for others actually…

Possessed exceptional knowledge in plants and berries, which allows her to differentiate good and bad berries and make special brews for emergency medicine or juices while undergo a very long missions. Also, she a good survivalist which helped the team a lot.

  Ability

She will receive a special orb which gives her ability to use a specific move pool that is associated within her evolution line. This means that she can use up to eight different type of moves within the evolution line. Her chosen moves were as follows:

Flame Charge (Flareon)

Thundershock (Jolteon)

Water Pulse (Vaporeon)

Psybeam (Espeon)

Feint Attack (Umbreon)

Icy Wind (Glaceon)

Magical Leaf (Leafeon)

Fairy Wind (Sylveon)

To activate it, she’ll have to tap the orb and summon the move she want, but up to three moves per duration. This will last up to 5 minutes before the orb glows dimly. It will be reusable once the orb glows brightly again. Once a move is summoned, it will stored in the orb as ‘memory’ and Mia can remember the moves she had summoned before.

She usually wears the orb at her neck, just like a cat wearing a neck bell. It is hidden underneath her neck fluff.

The orb have a shape like DNA structure inside it and gives out a warm rainbow glow, in which could lit up a small room. Many Pokemon mistaken for a Mega Stone. Even Ryan was surprised at this because he thought that Eeveelutions have mega evolution forms. Mia wishes that it is the true Mega Stone… but she’s grateful on what she’s given.

  Trivia

No one actually knew her origins. Heck even she doesn’t know as well. All she knows is that she lives at the Mimi the Chansey’s Town Clinic and Daycare for a good ten years before she started to live by herself at the Sharpedo Bluff.

Her features were a bit different from normal Eevees. At the end of her paws, there was a patch of white furs, kinda like she wears a socks. Her size were slightly bigger from average Eevee, but a bit smaller from a Shinx (about 40 cm in height).

Willy the Wigglytuff is actually her adoptive father figure. Stories goes by when he found a blanket at the guild’s entrance which containing a small Eevee, along with a note attached to it, stating that she came from a faraway land. Until she was 10, she was send to the Town’s Clinic and Daycare for her to live. Willy assumes her role as a father to take care of her. When she decides to join the guild, he was secretly ecstatic. Everyone in the guild doesn’t know this fact, even Charlie the Chatot.

Ryan have helped her numerous time along the way, which eventually develop a crush to the said Shinx. She actually denies whenever someone said that Ryan is her boyfriend, making her blushes madly and flustered. After took an advice from Saria the Sunflora, she firmly decides to tell him the truth in the near future, much to her amazement due to her shyness but it was too late because Ryan fades from existence. After Ryan reappears and finally confesses to her at the beach, she was overjoyed and accepted his confession. From that day, both of them became couples

Hope you’ll like my small headcannon from my team in Explorers of the Sky!

[shikastemari]

— goal; shikatemadai. ࿐ྂ。

written for Shikadai Week 2019 | day 02 - betrayal

words | 1704

rating | K

warning | none

a/n | i have no clue where i was heading with this and i made this way more dramatic than it probably should’ve (honestly, there’s someone rubbing off on me a lot lately) but here it is. also, maybe, there’ll be a part two but who knows, i don’t really like doing those.  👀

masterlist in bio

-

Shikadai never understood why the hell his parents cared so much about sports.

Yes, the two of them were respected shinobi, known worldwide by their actions in the last Shinobi War, but somehow, Shikadai doubt his father could run a mile without his smoker lungs taking a toll on him, and his mother, although incredibly talented, probably hadn’t cardio exercises as her strongest suit. 

So, the fact both were fanatic over football just made the young Nara head to hurt.

He didn’t even have to ask why both of them were arguing when he got home from school. Him being 12 years old, he had seen how argumentative both get every time a World Cup starts. Shikamaru always liked to point it out how weak Suna strategics to win games were, and Temari was a fan of showing how many times Konoha could lose opportunities to win the matches.

In other words, all of it was a real drag.

Shikadai tried to sneak in without making too much noise. If he wanted to reach his room, he would have to go through the living room, where the loud screams and curses were coming from. They were usually bad, but when the game was Konoha versus Suna? 

They were unbearable.

He was sure his father didn’t even like soccer that much, that he would do it just to piss his mom off. She was a huge fan since Shikadai could remember. The woman wanted him to learn how to kick before even learning the family jutsu’s, she was that obsessed.

“See? Your team sucks!” Temari’s cheerful voice reached his ear. Suna was probably winning if she was happy.

“Temari, we both know Suna’s goalkeeper suck. The penalties are about to start, we are still in the game,” Shikamaru retorted.

Passing through the living room, giving one quick glance to tv and he noticed the players getting together in a line, middle field. The game ended up in a tie, and now it was going straight for penalties. His parents would be hard to handle after it’s over.

“Shikadai, we didn’t see you there,” his father pointed out and the boy noticed too late he stopped to stare at the tv for too long. “Now that you are here, you can help me to put some sense into your mom’s head.”

“Dai, tell him our goalies are the best and we can totally crush his team,” Temari said, narrowing a copy of his own eyes to her husband.

Shikamaru had a cigarette on his lips, but it wasn’t lit. Temari imposed a very strict rule of no smoking inside the house. Shikadai knew it meant his father was nervous, not actually believing Konoha could win against Suna.

“Tem, the guy literally couldn’t defend a goal from Kiri. It was just terrible to watch, and you know that” Shikamaru looked at his son, waiting for some backup. He chose to remain in silence, though, earning a sigh from his father.

“It happens! It doesn’t mean he’s bad because he screwed up one time,” Temari argued.

“He did it against Iwa as well,” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

“He isn’t bad if he screwed up tw-”

“Remember when he-”

“OKAY!” She folded her arms against her chest, “I got it. Repeat one more time and I’ll tear your tongue out.”

Shikadai didn’t know how long it took from the end of the game to the penalty to start, but he was sure today was longer than usual. He did think of staying there until it started, although it would be too risky for him. There was one particular thing he was desperate to avoid.

“Who are you cheering for, Shikadai?” Shikamaru changed the attention to his kid.

And it was that exact question. Every single World Cup, Shikadai had been running away from choosing a team. As both of his parents looked at him with expectation, he felt the anxiety building up. How was he supposed to choose one of them? Why would they want for Shikadai to choose one?

He had tried before. “Both” and “none” never made a real effect and they never took it as an actual answer. “I don’t care about football” apparently wasn’t an answer good enough either. They tried hard not to push him, but deep down he knew they were eager for an answer.

“To whoever wins,” Shikadai shrugged. 

“Just tell your father you’re a Suna fan.”

“End your mom’s craziness and tell her the truth.”

“Craziness?”

That was how another fight started.

They kept arguing, although he was aware it wasn’t a real argument. Both could annoy the hell out of each other, but they would always go back to their usual self once the game was over. Shikadai would even risk saying they had a really fun dynamic. 

Shikadai risked another glance to the tv, the goalie from Suna and the opponent from Konoha were getting ready to start. Shikadai just sighed once before speaking.

“Suna won the World Cup 5 times,” he started and both of his parents turned to him, “y’a know they have a huge shot of winning also this one,” he said the last part looking at his father.

Temari smiled proudly, ready to tease Shikamaru when Shikadai kept going. 

“However,” Shikadai completed, “Konoha’s team is doing an amazing campaign this year. The attack is the best of the competition so far, and they have been destroying their opponents one by one. I think they’ll take this one.”

Both stayed silent and stared at their son, with his mouth agape. Not even his dad saw it coming. Only when Konoha scored the first goal, the couple came out of a trance. 

Shikamaru turned to say something to Temari, but stopped midway as he watched her hurt expression. Shikadai knew she must have been feeling a little betrayed and he hated he was the one causing it. He never wanted to stab any of his parents, but that was what his mom tried to hide with a sad smile.

She turned back to the television, waiting for Suna to have the next penalty, without saying a word. Shikamaru joined her, and the young Nara spotted when his old man covered her tiny hand with his own.

The path to Shikadai’s bedroom felt longer than usual. He couldn’t shake this bad feeling away for hurting his mom’s feelings. He threw a few curses at himself for not choosing to stay quiet. As soon as he reached the room, he realized there was a package over his bed.

Opening it carefully, Shikadai got himself looking at a Suna football team jersey. The shirt was beige and carried the simple shield on the right side, and behind there was his name, Nara Shikadai, in white with the number one.

Next to the bed, there was a little note with his mom handwriting. “You’re always my number one.”

The crack in Shikadai’s heart was almost audible, the weight on his heart getting worse and worse by second. He couldn’t understand why such sport could mean so much to her and he realized he never asked. Not once. While he was sure his father turned into a football fan after he met his mother, she had been on this road for a while.

Shikadai didn’t know much about her, he noticed. Not the woman behind the mom. The Temari before the marriage, before Konoha. He didn’t know her hobbies, or what she liked to do when she was young. He didn’t know about her past much, except both her parents died when she was pretty young. 

He felt terrible. As in, he failed her as a son, and as a human being. Every time they went to Suna, he was way more focused on playing with Shinki or asking his Uncles to show something cool with their jutsus.

Suddenly, Shikadai knew how to fix it. 

No clue how much time he got stuck in his room, lost in his thoughts. When he reached the living room, his parents weren’t there anymore. So, he followed to the next possible room. 

His mom sat on the kitchen table, reading a newspaper while his father was next to the oven, preparing something to eat. The scene in front of him was so unusual, it could only mean one thing.

Konoha lost.

Shikadai almost wanted to laugh, but he held it in. Again, his father was the first to spot him.

“Hungry? Hope you like ramen,” Shikamaru said and his son noticed there was a red spot on his pink apron. He couldn’t remember something red going on the ramen, but he decided not to mention it.

“Starving,” he replied, looking at his mom now, who stared him back. “Did Suna win?”

“5-3.” She replied with a small smile, “one more time, Suna is the best in the world.”

“Speaking of which,” Shikadai blurted out, taking a deep breath. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. “I want to go there.”

“To where? The stadium?” Temari questioned.

“No, to Suna.”

“But you’ve been to Suna before,” his mom pointed out.

“Yes, but I never really paid too much attention to it, did I? I wanna get to know your favorite places, where you grew up, what you used to do when you weren’t kicking dad’s ass-”

“Language, young boy,” Shikamaru intervened and Shikadai doubted the interruption was due to the wording there.

“Anyway, just show me, teach me about Suna and your past,” Shikadai let out a breath. “What do you tell me?”

His mother just stared at him, completely inexpressive. He remembered his dad once saying she could hide emotions like no one, and Shikadai didn’t quite understand it until that moment. 

It was like he blinked and the next second, two arms were wrapped around him, pulling him into the tightest hug he had been to. He heard his mother sniffing next to him, and all he could do was to involve her back.

Over her shoulder, Shikadai spotted his father’s proud smile and the older Nara blinked back at him, approving of his way of fixing things, and that was when he realized, he had scored the biggest goal of the night.

[created-by-teen-fury]

Sál Rekur|| Bella’s Story pt. 2

Hello! We got another part of Bella’s backstory. This isn’t very well edited, so sorry about that. But here you’ll learn about how she left Iceland.

Here’s part 1 if you missed it

TW: Fire

WC:1493.The longest one yet

Date: December 14th, 2002

Time: 12:33 pm

Location: Sál Rekur, Iceland

    It started off like any other day for the Noctis Umbra. Children were attending school, while their parents tended to their duties. Mid-winter was quickly approaching causing the nights to grow longer. The people of Sál Rekur were ecstatic as their most important holiday approached. The winter solstice was a time of celebration of Noctis Umbra’s Goddess, Nova.

    The children at the local school waited impatiently for the end of the day when they could return home to their parents. That night in town square there would be a festival where all would be attending. It was the start of a 3 week celebration of the longest night of the year. The 14th of december marked the beginning of the first week called Initium Tenebris. The night would be filled with dancing in the oncoming moonlight and traditional food.

    Schooling let out around 3:40 and children flew out of the school doors into the blistering cold.Younger kids watched as the older teenagers appeared in each shadow, getting closer to home each time. Parents flocked outside trying to find their kid in the snow. Ísabella watched on the steps of the schoolhouse waiting for her father. Her scarf was wrapped around her neck covering the lower half of her mouth. Her two braids whipped in the wind and she could hold back her smile as she watched snowflakes fall around her.

    It wasn’t long until a warm hand wrapped itself around her shoulder. Her smile brightened as she turned to meet the figure kneeling beside her, “Pabbi!” Her laughter filled the schoolyard as she flung herself into her father’s arm.

    He held her tightly, his own laughter slipping past his lips, “Hello to you too Lovely!” Holding Ísabella secure, he lifted her onto his shoulders allowing himself room to pick up her school bag, “And how was your day?”

    Leaning over, trying to make eye contact Ísabella started going through every detail of her day. Her father listened intently, grinning as he started the trek home. “Today Mrs. Grímsdóttir gave us cookies! They’re shaped like the moon and she even gave us 2!” Leaning down to his ear she whispered, “But I saved one for you and Mamma.”

    “Oh did you now? Very sweet of you my dear.” He giggled along with his daughter until they reached a small cabin on the far side of the island.

    A figure waited at the door, her purple hair tied up into a bun and an apron tied around her waist. Ísabella gasped, running the second her tiny boots hit the ground, “Mamma!”

    Her mother welcomed the 5 year old with open arms, engulfing her in a bear hug, “There’s my beautiful girl!”

    “Well it looks like my gorgeous Bryndis is home early,” Kissing his wife of the cheek he ushered the both of them inside.

    “They decided to let us leave earlier because of the celebration. Now I have time to actually cook dinner,” She leaned down to her daughter and started to unwrap her scarf from her neck. She placed a kiss against her forehead and patted down her hair, “Now why don’t you go brush out your hair for tonight, and I’ll be in your room soon to help pick an outfit.”

    “Okay Mamma!” Grinning, Ísabella ran to her bathroom and began brushing her hair.

    Once her daughter reached the bathroom Bryndis turned towards her husband, “I have a bad feeling about this Hymir. There have been signs everywhere, and i don’t like what they're telling me.”

    Wrapping his arms around her waist, letting her head fall into his neck, Hymir let out a sigh, “I know Bryn… We can’t stay her any longer. For Ísabella’s sake we need to flee. Tonight.”

    “But what about Initium Tenebris? She’s been looking forward to it for months?”

    “Love, I’d rather her be alive for next year’s Solstice. You know we have to do this.”

    Tears fell onto his collar bone, causing him to tighten his grip around her. Bryndis held back a sob in her throat as she lifted her head. Cupping Hymir’s cheeks she gave his a gentle kiss, “You’re right, but you know as well as I do she won’t be safe with us.”

    His blue eyes became a reflective pool, a single droplet rolling down his cheek, “Yeah… Yeah I know, but she deserves to live another year. I couldn’t forgive myself if she…” he trailed off, not daring to finish his sentence.

    Wiping his cheek, she looked towards the bathroom door, “I’ll go pack her stuff. You prepare the boat.”

    Ísabella watched as her mother folded her clothing into a small leather suitcase, “Mamma, where are we going?”

    Bryndis faltered, pondering what to say, “To the mainland.”

    Ísabella’s head tilted to the side, trying to catch her mother’s eye, “But High Priestess Celinda said that was against the rules.”

    “Well, she approved our trip.”

    Ísabella frowned but nodded her head, “Will we be coming back? Arís wanted to sleepover next week!”

    Bryndis closed her eyes and nodded, “Of course. We will be back by next week.” Closing the suitcase Bryndis excited the room, not letting Ísabella see the tear that fell from her eyes.

The time was 6:40 pm. The only source of light was from the moon itself. Music danced through the air, finding its way to every home. Though all homes were empty seeing as the people of Sál Rekur gathered in town square to enjoy the festivities.

All but one family was in attendance. Ísabella sat on the dock behind her house, swinging her legs to the beat of the music. She was once again bundled up in a heavy jacket and scarf. Her parents worked quickly, preparing the boat for departure. It was small, but sturdy enough for three people. Bryndis was able to snag the keys to it while everyone remained at the festival. They were originally locked in her boss’ desk meant to travel to the mainland in case of emergency.

“Pabbi? Are you sure we can’t stop by the festival?”

Hymir sighed and kneeled down to Ísabella’s level, “No dear, we don’t have time.”

Ísabella puffed out her bottom lip, “Not even for 5 minutes?”

He shook his head and took her into his arms, “I’m sorry Lovely, but we can’t”

Bryndis emerged from the ship’s hold, “Hymir, It’s time to go.”

Meanwhile the Initium Tenebris festival was in full swing. The town square was turned into a dance floor and was soon filled with people of all ages, basking in the moon’s light. It was rather dark due to it being a waxing moon instead of a full moon, but that had never been a problem for the Noctis Umbra.

In the distance a small orange light was turned on. It was almost unnoticeable at first, but soon, it started to grow. Brighter and Larger. By the time people started noticing the light, a fire had engulfed part of the island, sending fumes of smoke into the air. Emerging from the fire were 7 humans, dressed in masks and jackets. They had pouches at their side. All at once, they reached into the bags and pulled out a hand full of anise and threw it into the air. The wind carried it across the square. The citizens had no choice, but to breathe it in, rendering them helpless. Burns covered their bodies, both from the roaring flames and anise. It became very apparent there was no hope for the Noctis Umbra

Bryndis watch in the distance as the light spread to the house. She quickly tired to usher Ísabella into the boat, but she broke free of her grasp. Bryndis screamed after her daughter, “Ísabella!” She started to go after her but, Hymir pulled her back before tying his scarf over his jacket and running into the now burning building.

Ísabella, still with her jacket and scarf hiding half her face, sprinted for her room. She rammed herself into her bedroom door, trying desperately to get inside. Flames surrounded her now. Her coat caught on fire, and she cried out in pain quickly shedding it from her body. Hymir appeared shortly after and threw Ísabella over his shoulder, rushing out of the house.

Ísabella kicked and scream, “Pabbi! I forgot Bessi! I want Bessi!” She continued on about her sobbing about her stuffed animal orca left in her room.

Hymir once again boarded the boat placing Ísabella into the hold. He quickly covered her mouth trying to shush her. “Ísabella, Lovely we’ll get you a new one. I just need you to be quiet for me okay?”

Bryndis steered the ship from above, trying her hardest not to be spotted by the boats near the east side of the island. Using the shadows around her she was able to cloak the vessel, allowing them to fade into the night.

[diyunho]

The Joker (Jared Leto) x Reader-  “Trick or Threat?”

For Halloween, you and Jared like to borrow kids from your friends and go “Trick or Treat” with them. It’s been a tradition for a while but this year is a little bit different: your boyfriend decided to surprise you with something he knows you will love and he has no idea you have a little something for him also.

You rush down the stairs, eager to open the door: he probably forgot his keys again. Jared wasn’t home when you woke up and sent just a short text:

“Be back around 12pm,” with a heart emoji.

You open the door and freeze:

“Trick or threat?” the husky voice asks and you are stunned.

“Oh my God, Jared ! Why didn’t you tell me?! I would have been Harley!”

“Who the fuck is Jared, woman?!” he growls and you giggle. “Are you cheating on me?!” and J uses his cane to open the door wider and walks inside the house, groping you in the process.

You’ve been begging him to be The Joker for Halloween all year and he refused, saying it’s too exhausting.

“Baby, you really should have told me,” you approach and he looks around, snarling.

“Fancy house, you sure are sooo spoiled,” he ignores your complaint, stopping in the middle of the living room. Jared is wearing your favorite outfit from the movie: the black pants and white shirt from the club scene. You adore it because you think it makes his perfect butt stand out. You get on your toes and wrap your arms around his neck, frantically kissing him.

“Thank you,” you caress the green hair, smiling. “You know I have a kink for your Joker.”

“Watch the make-up, honey. They’ve been getting me ready since 6 this morning,” Jared suddenly emerges for a few moments.

“Oops, sorry,” you back out and he spanks you.

“I’m joking, Princess, Daddy likes it,” and he kisses you again while you can’t stop laughing. “Did you decide on a costume yet?”

“No, I keep on debating. Come on Jared, help me decide,” you jump off his arms, dragging him upstairs.

“Who the hell is this Jared?!” he gets pissed, in character again.

“Nobody you should be worried about, Mister J,” you play along, thrilled he did this for you: if this isn’t love, then you certainly don’t have a clue about it.

“Then why are you wearing this skimpy little nightgown, hm? Was he just here and you had fun with him? I’m gonna kill the bastard!” the tirade continues as you enter the master bedroom upstairs.

“Nooo, let’s not kill him,” you plead, pointing towards the three outfits on the bed. “We might need him later. Sit down and I will get dressed, then tell me what you think, ok?”

“Hurry up Doll, I don’t have all day!” the feistiness kicks in and it gives you a boost of energy.

“Of course, Mister J !” you grab the first item and run inside the walk- in closet to change. After you’re done, you step out and your sexy presence is greeted with a whistle of admiration and purring.

“So you like it…Daddy?” you wink, licking your lips.

“Don’t play with my emotions, you evil woman!” The Joker snarls, talking deep breaths.”I have a thing for nurses.”

“Oh, I know,” you zip down your top, tossing it in his lap.

“You’re wicked, “ he concludes, enjoying the striptease show.

“Oh, I know,” you repeat, now in just your bra and panties, grabbing the second outfit and try to get away but he snatches you and starts kissing every piece of skin he can get his lips on. “Bad Mister J,” you enjoy the pampering then manage to escape. “You told me to hurry up so be patient.”

“Patient?! What does that mean?!” J gets worked up, and you chuckle, getting dressed with the second outfit.

“Taaaa-daaaa,” you come out and he’s standing by the dresser.

“Wooow, Cat Woman! Look at those curves: I approve,” Jared grins and the silver teeth make you weak in the knees. There is something else standing out.

“Are those socks in there or are you just very happy to see me, baby?” you slowly come closer, staring at his crotch.

“They’re socks,” he adjusts his gold chains, grinning.

“Let me see,” you unbutton his pants, stick your hand in there and…pull out a pair of folded socks. You burst out laughing, amused.

“You’re so goofy,” the laughing continues as you pull out… a second pair of socks.

Jared tries not to laugh.

“That’s it, no more socks, the rest is natural,” he whispers in your ear. “Daddy saved it all for you, Pumpkin.”

“Are you taking advantage of the fact that I worship your Joker?” you jump in his arms, pecking his neck tattoo.

“Totally,” Jared shamelessly admits, heading towards the bed with the sweet burden of his existence.

“Are you sure your make-up and tattoos will be allright?” you double check because you are aware how long it takes to get him ready.

“I’m sure; they’re made to last for hours.”

“Don’t you want to see my 3rd outfit?”

“Nope, you can be Cat Woman,” he mumbles, placing you on the bed and has one more question while impatiently undressing you. “You still didn’t answer: trick or threat?” Jared purrs when you take off his shirt.

“Threat !” you moan when his hands go down your waist, cupping the side of your thighs.

“Mmmm, good girl,” that devilish smirk and the blue eyes make you lose it. “Let’s see…I’m gonna steal you from that Jared guy and have my way with his woman all over this house.”

“Sounds more like a treat,” you sigh and squeal when he bites your lip.

“Depends how you look at it Doll,” he grumbles and you dig your nails in his back. “So who do you want: Jared or The Joker, huh?” J licks your swollen lip, finding your fascination with his character irresistible.

“Both, “ you are fast to reply. “Can you take turns?” and you seem so excited and desperate there is no other choice.

“You’re such a perv, woman!” he snickers. “Exactly my type.”

The sentence makes you eagerly scratch his soft skin and the request is quick to follow:

“The Joker first, please.”

“No problem, Kitten,” and he cracks his neck, prompting a very enthusiastic scream from your part.

*******************

You already went to a couple of houses with Jake and Sarah into a new neighborhood. They are siblings: the little boy is 4 and the girl is 5, aka Spiderman and Cinderella. You ”borrowed” them from your friends for a couple of hours for some Halloween fun like you always do.

“Trick or treat?” the children inquire when the door they knocked at opens up.

“Treat!” and they are offered a bunch of candy they stash in their bags.

“Duuudddee!!” the guy exclaims when he sees Jared. “You look like The Joker; perfect cosplay, you really look like him!”

“Thank you,” he puckers his lips, amused.

“Hold on, my wife loves The Suicide Squad Joker. Honnneey!... Emma !! Hey! You gotta see this!”

“What is it?” you hear the woman’s voice and she is mesmerized as soon as she sees him.

“Jesus, you look like Mister J ! Can we take a picture?” she keeps on fangirling.

“Of course,” he agrees, the comment pleasing him.

“I thought Jared did an amazing job as The Joker! I am so obsessed with him. Sorry babe,” she addresses the husband when he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, he wasn’t too bad,” Jared flashes his smile for the picture and now she wants another one with both of you.

“Not too bad?! He was phenomenal!!!” she keeps on praising and it makes you happy.

****************

More walking around, more candy.

“Hey, Joker !!” a bunch of young guys dressed as Hobbits shout in your direction.“Where’s Harley, man?!”

“On vacation!” Jared yells back and it prompts laughter. “I have a bad Kitty with me instead!”

“Hot Kitty !!!” one of them yells and the others start howling.

You hold on to Jared’s hand, chuckling while he admonishes:

“Watch it !!! This is my Kitty, find your own!”

More laughter while they distance themselves from your small group. The kids are already ringing the doorbell from another house.

“Oh, “ the lady gasps in surprise when she notices you two waiting for the cute heroes to return by your side. “ You sure have great costumes! I have to admit that Leto butchered The Joker though,” she nods her head in denial, dropping sweets in the bags.

“Such a lack of talent,” Jared sarcastically admits. You want to say something but he squeezes your waist, signaling you not to.

“Indeed! I can’t believe how bad he was,” she goes on and you are getting irritated.

“The worst ever!” J agrees and you frown more.

*****************

“Why are you silent?” Jared intertwines his fingers with yours, awaiting on a reply.

“That lady annoyed me,” you sulk and he kisses your hand.

“I don’t care, I’m used to it. You like my Joker and that’s good enough,” Jared smiles but you know the negative comments hurt, especially after he worked so hard on the character. Contrary to what some people believe, he is human after all. “Speed up, those kids are far ahead.”

More walking, more chocolate, more candy…

“These stilettos are horrible,” the uncomfortable grimace on your face lets him know.“We’ve been walking around for two hours, I’m kind of done.”

“Just a couple more houses and then we can return our rental offsprings, ok?” J negotiates and you agree.

“Fine, but no more than that; I can barely walk.”

“Must be because you had too much fun having sex with two guys in the same time,” he snorts, teasing.

You lift your shoulders up, your cheeks burning under the mask:

“Can’t help it ! A girl has to have her fun.”

“Daddy will show you more fun after we get home, hm?” the hot breath on your neck gives you goosebumps.

“If you insist…” you pretend to be indifferent but the anticipation is making you impatient. “Can we hurry up?”

“Yeah, no problem,” he pinches your butt through the skin-tight latex suit while Jake and Sarah knock on another door.

“Get out of here: it’s my nemesis!” he turns his attention towards the young boy dressed as Batman coming out of the house to hand out candy with his dad. The 7 year old stares with his mouth open: he glances at Jared, then at The Joker action figure in his hand, then back to Jared, then back to his Joker action figure.

“Amazing cosplay, man!” his father laughs and Jared kneels by his son, entertained.

“Are you following me around, Mister Batsy?” he asks and Batman’s eyes get big. “We are actually friends, you know that, right?”

The boy can’t make a sound, just nods a yes, captivated.

“Here, a token of my friendship,” Jared takes one of his bracelets off, placing it around the kid’s wrist. “Shake hands?”

“U-hum,” the child agrees and your heart melts.

“Awwww,”  you sigh, touched by the scene unfolding in front of your eyes.

“What do you say for the gift?” the dad has to intervene in order for his son to remember his manners.

“Thank you Mister Joker,” the shy voice speaks up and it makes you teary thinking about something you found out this morning you didn’t share with him yet.

***************

“Trick or treat?” you step in the bedroom, wearing something he finds super seductive: two strings, held together by some kind of loop, then your breasts hardly covered by a few more strings and one small bow miraculously still in place. All pink.

“Holy shit, honey! Definitely a treat!” Jared decides on the spot, already in bed, fidgeting with his boxers.

“I was hoping you’re gonna say that,” you crawl in bed, holding something behind your back. “Here’s your treat,” you casually show him the positive pregnancy test and he fights with himself in order to contain the overwhelming happiness.

“This…this is the best treat I ever got in my entire life!” Jared confesses, not being able to maintain character; he still has the make-up and tattoos: they won’t be removed until tomorrow morning when he will drop by the studio.

You nervously blink and start crying, already worried about everything.

“Why are you crying, hm?” he caresses your face and you sniffle when your forehead gets kissed. “This is truly the best news. We don’t have to borrow kids for Halloween anymore, right? I mean, we still can so we can have a crowd,” he takes the pregnancy test out of your fingers, studying the red positive marking for a few seconds.“But…who’s the father?”

“What?!” you rub your eyes, waiting to hear about an over the top assumption for sure.

“Is it me or The Joker? You sleep with both, how do we know?”

This is enough to alleviate the tension and your body relaxes, a big smile appearing on your lips: Jared was counting on it since he noticed how anxious you were.

“I’m not sure…” you answer, watching him hide the test under his pillow.

“Stop fooling around, woman,” The Joker takes over, helping you get on top of him.“You know I’m possessive and jealous!”

“Are you?”

“Extremely! Now give me my other treat!” he yanks your hands away so you can get really close to him. He notices the hesitation. “What now?”

“Can I…can I have my Jared?”

“Ughh, you’re killing me, Y/N,” Jared complains, his voice returning to normal.

“The Joker can wait for his turn, I still want him,” you pull on his bottom lip and he debates.

“For the record, this is harder than any movie script, do you understand?” your boyfriend really wants to emphasize his hardship.

“I think there’s something else that’s harder,” you taunt, grinding against him.

“I swear no socks are involved,” J laughs and you giggle, tracing his jaw line.

“Certainly not,” you kiss him and whisper in his ear: “Are you excited we’re going to be parents?”

Jared’s hands hold you so tight you can’t move.

“I’m so happy…” he whispers back and lifts your chin up so you can look at each other.“But are you asking me or The Joker?”

“Both,” you humor him.

“I’m happy and he feels cocky because he’s a stud and he got the confirmation he can impregnate everything that moves!” the speech makes you laugh like crazy as you slide off Jared, snuggling to his neck in the process.

“You’re such an idiot and I love you to death,” Jared hears as he pulls on all those strings you’ve been teasing him with since you showed up in the bedroom.

“Daddy will punish you for being so disrespectful!” The King of Gotham makes his presence known once more and you protest.

“I said I want my Jared !”

“Don’t care! I’m the one doing all the difficult work here: I have to act, I have to have sex, I have to satisfy my demanding woman, I have to pay attention to all the details, I have to…”

You cover his mouth.

“Fair enough, baby,” the lecture is abruptly interrupted by your candid acceptance and he grins, victorious, while switching off the light. You gasp, enticed: the green toxic hair glows in the dark.

“You like this new turn on my Joker?” he wants to know as he tears the flimsy strings apart one by one.

“This is soooo cool!” you run your fingers through it. “It’s very Halloween-ish,” and his rough kiss leaves you breathless.

“Shut up and let me enjoy my treat, woman!” J growls and your comeback delights him:

“I’ll do whatever you say, Mister Joker.”

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[chasingthepoguelife]

A Fish and Boyfriend Part 2 (Thiam)

“Liam what the hell is this?”

“You said no animal would set foot in your house and not one was. He has been carried in. So be nice and welcome your grandbaby fish, Leo.”

“Liam come on, just because we wouldn’t let you get a dog?”

“It’s not fair mom! Besides, I didn’t even buy him. It was a gift.”

“Who would buy you a fish?”

“There’s this boy that works at the store, he’s around my age. He saw me in a few times, we got to talking and I told him why I can’t have a pet and the next day I got this guy,” Liam smiled.

“What’s his name?”

“Theo Raeken.”

“Oh that must be Joyce’s kid,” Liam’s mom said to her husband.

“He’s a cute boy huh Liam?” his mom teased.

“I-I guess mom,” Liam blushed.

“I bet he thinks you’re cute too!” Mr. Geyer chimed in.

“Well as a matter of fact he does. He gave me his number saying he’d like to take me and little Leo out sometime, if you must know.”

“Why do I get the feeling he was waiting to tell us that?”

“I know if I got a date with someone that cute at his age I would want to tell everyone.”

“Mom!” Liam covered his face. “Leo and I are going upstairs until you two can stop acting like teenagers!”

*2 hours later*

“And then he gave me his number, in a fish bowl!!” Liam squealed into his cell phone.

“Well damn, I just kind of told Corey my hands need a break on his ass and that worked for us.”

“Mason, you and Corey are always holding each other’s hand and butts, this is different.”

“Liam no doubt this Theo guy likes you, but as a fellow gay I can promise he’s thought about things from making out with you to bending you over in his bed.”

“Well maybe he’s not the only one thinking those things.”

“I knew once you got a guy in your life, our sexual humor would match up,” Mason said.

“You have to tell me, I want to call him tonight but that’s too soon right?”

“There might be a hint of desperation if you call tonight so wait at least until tomorrow to be safe.”

“That’s going to feel like 2 years Mason!”

“Well remember what happened with Brett? Do you want to go through that again?”

“Yeah ok, you’re right.”

“Just do what guys our age do. Dream about him until you see him again. Preferably in the shower or when you’re alone, just to be safe.”

“Mason! I don’t just want to get in his pants.”

“But you’ve 1000% already thought about?”

“So? Is that a crime officer?” Liam said sarcastically.

“Well I’m going to do the exact thing until Corey comes back from his trip so listen to what I told you and goodbye for now.”

Liam ended his conversation with Mason, leaving him more unsure of what to do. His first and only boyfriend, Brett Talbot broke up with him in front of everyone at a part last year. All because he thought he was too clingy, but Liam just thought he was being a good boyfriend. He didn’t want to ruin things with Theo before they even started, but his hormonal boy brain couldn’t wait anymore. Liam grabbed his phone, typing in Theo’s number, followed by his message.

Message to Theo:

So Leo and I were wondering when you’d like to take us on that date? 8:04pm

Message from Theo:

Well lucky for you and Leo, tomorrow is my day off. 8:12pm

Message to Theo:

I have cleared mine and Leo’s schedule. 8:14pm

Message from Theo:

Leo?  8:16pm

Message to Theo:

That’s what I named the fish you got me, 8:17pm

Message from Theo:

Haha no way? That’s adorable AF. Almost a cross of our names. 8:20pm

Message to Theo:

Yeah…that’s why I named him that. 8:21pm

Message to Liam:

Well you just tell little Leo to be ready at your front door by 10am tomorrow. 8:23pm

Message to Theo:

We’ll be ready and waiting by 9:45!

So Liam’s quick texting paid off, but he was in trouble when after countless tries he couldn’t fall asleep from the excitement. He tossed and turned, thinking about Theo’s smile, his eyes, and his lips, and how it would feel to hold his hand. After talking to Leo for a few hours, Liam’s eyes closed at 4:30am, but again from the excitement, he was up by 7, showering, putting on his favorite flannel and sneakers, about 3 hours too early for his date.

“Call the police, he’s up before 8am!” Liam’s mom joked.

“He’s probably gearing up to go back to the pet store,” Mr. Geyer teased.

“As a matter of fact, the pet store is coming to me!”

“Oh yeah? What do you mean?”

“Theo is coming..here..to take me out?”

“This early in the morning?”

“Well mom I don’t care what time it is, I just want to spend time with him!”

“Ok. We’ll just wait then until he comes and gets you?”

“Ugh why?? I’m already going to embarrass myself, I don’t need you two to do it for me?”

“It’s our job Liam. For now, we do have pancakes and hot chocolate. Let’s eat, and you’ll forget for a bit and be relaxed by the time Theo comes.”

After his 8th chocolate chip pancake, Liam hoped Theo didn’t have any plans to eat

“Get him a club soda,” Liam’s mom gestured to her husband.

“Don’t look at me like that mom, you know I’m a nervous eater.”

“Sweetie, it’s 9:50, you don’t have time to be nervous.”

“You sound more like Mason than a mother.”

“Well I always knew from the start he’d be a good person in your life.”

Liam got up from the kitchen table and put the backpack over the shoulders he brought this morning.

“What is that sack Liam?”

“It’s my insurance. There’s a water bottle, a blanket, cologne, and advil, just in case Theo makes me freeze or even faint!”

Liam heard his step father clear his throat, fake scratching the side of his head, and all eight of those pancakes were close to coming back up as Theo stood next to him.

“Y-you?,” Liam pointed. “Inside my house?”

“Hey Liam. I’m sorry I’m just a smidge early. You’re step father invited me in,” Theo said.

“Well I figured we could at least get a glimpse of the young man taking our boy it. Your mother is an outstanding doctor to work with, and you seem nothing short of that,” Mr. Geyer complimented.

“She’ll be happy to hear that sir. I’m sorry to cut this short but Liam and I won’t be making our plans if we don’t get going, Liam?” Theo reached for Liam’s hand.

“Is he going camping? What the hell is on his back?” Mr. Geyer asked his wife.

“Have a good time kids!” Liam’s mom yelled.

“Please say we are driving,” Liam asked desperately.

“I’m going to assume it has got to do with that portable tent on your bag?”

“Hey! It’s not that big and I need things, I’m just coming prepared,” Liam pouted.

“Ok, I’m sorry, I was just trying to get you to laugh.”

“You don’t need to try so hard,” Liam assured Theo. “You already make me smile without even doing anything.”

“Well hopefully this day will be my chance to make you smile Liam.”

“You’ll owe me an ice cream if you don’t!”

“Won’t find out until you get in the car.”

“Oh right,” Liam giggled.

The drive lasted for about 20 minutes. It was a cool spring day, allowing for a light breeze blowing over Liam’s left hand as he kept it intertwined with Theo’s right hand as he drove with his left.

“Theo, where have you taken me. I don’t recognize this place?”

“I have a feeling little Leo isn’t enough for you, so I figured the aquarium should give you that fix.”

“No fucking way!!” Liam jumped up and down in his seat.

“Not quite what I imagined when I thought of you rocking my car up and down.”

“You’re lucky little Leo isn’t around to here that language.”

“Come on you goof, maybe we’ll spot one of Leo’s relatives in there.”

The line into the aquarium was around 45 minutes. Liam of course reverted to the behavior of a 5-year-old, anxious to see all the animals. For Theo, it felt like 10 minutes watching his cute boy all excited and hyper.

“Where to first?” Liam asked.

“I’m glad you asked. Today’s visit will be a bit different, also surprising, just follow me.”

Liam followed Theo for a few minutes until he opened a door to a few people in lab coats, and the biggest tank behind them.

“They’re beautiful,” Liam spoked about the dolphins. “But they’re stuck here?”

“That’s the best part about Dr. Leslie’s work. The tank there, connects into the Pacific Ocean. The doctors control what comes in and out. Those 4 dolphins come in a few hours a day for fun and tricks, some food, and the doctors observe them for their study. After that, they’re always free to go back into the ocean,” Theo explained.

“How do you know all about this? It seems so private.”

“I’m sort of related to the head doctor, she’s my sister.”

“Theo, I thought that was you,” a female voice said. “Don’t tell me, this must be Liam. If I had a dollar for every time Theo has mentioned you this week, I’d have enough money to finish funding my studies.”

Liam laughed while Theo gave his sister an I’m going to kill you face.

“So Liam, Theo tells me how much you love animals. Here we have my dolphin friends Steve, Phoebe, and Darcus.”

“What about the fourth dolphin?”

“That’s the surprise. Leslie has been telling me about the fourth dolphin in her study and since he doesn’t have a name, I figured you could do the honors, like honorarily adopting him.”

“This better not be a joke, of course I want to name him!”

“Liam, pick out a name, and I’ll print out an official certificate.”

“Would you kill me if I wanted to name him Leo Jr.” Liam asked Theo.

“I’m not even a bit surprised, but try another name.”

Liam thought and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes.

“How about…. Sofia?”

“A son and daughter within two days? You’re a busy boy Liam. Sofia it is.”

“Hey Leslie, make sure the certificate says Sofia.”

“Just so you know, this surprise is better than my parents taking me on a summer European vacation for my birthday.”

“Well, Europe doesn’t have anything on me,” Theo chuckled.

“Here you go boys. It’s doctor approved.”

The certificate read, On this day of November 15, 2017, Raeken Sciences approves the adoption of dolphin Sofia to Liam and Theo.

“It’s stamped and has the official seal of my lab, you’ll always be Sofia’s dad.”

“Teenage parents? What have you done Leslie?” Theo joked.

Liam and Theo spent the next two hours with their new dolphin. They fed her, watched her do tricks, and took hundreds of photos, until it was time to let the dolphins back into the ocean.

“It’s incredible how they come back every day,” Theo stated.

“What’s incredible is how we haven’t eaten yet but our daughter has,” Liam joked.

“The ice cream waits for us my dear sir!” Theo yelled.

“I’ve been waiting for Theo to get a boyfriend as dorky as he is,” Leslie commented.

“Ice cream would never speak to me like that,” Theo said.

“See what I mean?” Leslie spoke.

“Yeah that’s great Leslie, bye!” both boy said.

Theo and Liam walked down the hall to the nearest ice cream vendor. They decided to share a sundae and sit on the bench overlooking the water.

“So Leslie sort of mentioned us being boyfriends and I know it’s our first date so-“

“I’d like us to be boyfriends,” Liam interrupted. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Every minute I seem to keep finding out how we like and want the same things, “ Theo laughed.

“So does that mean you want to kiss me too?” Liam asked hopefully.

“Hell yeah,” Theo said grabbing Liam’s face.

[erikredwood-21]

Chapter I: You’re not like everyone else...

The final exam is simple enough, you can take it whenever you like, and you have to answer 100 questions, you can take it with a partner but each individual has to answer 100 questions, so if you take it with a partner you have to answer basically 200 questions. Simple enough right?

  Well here’s the catch, each and every test and question is different, none of them are the same and there is no exam even similar to others. All with different questions and from a different subject.

  Some were afraid of it, some weren’t, such as Erik. Erik is part of the Redwood family, both his parents are programmers and engineers in communication devices. He wasn’t afraid of the Academy as some of the people he knew, he looked at it as another place he had to go, and he was confident he was going to graduate, after all, his brother Alexander did, so he had a chance. You had to go to the Academy, it wasn’t something you could deny or not go, after all, it was the law.

  It was reglamentary to take a test a few days before going to the Academy, it was supposed to measure your knowledge so they can arrange the students in the proper class but everyone, as far as Erik knew, everyone had to go to the beginner’s class.

  It was 5 pm according to Erik’s wristwatch, the welcoming ceremony was at 6 pm so he already got all of his things ready to go, he was organized in his own way. His room looked kind of empty since he had to take the little he had such as books, clothing, and all of that with him. The Academy had sent him a brand new laptop, since he was going to need it for it a lot, it was black with a bright purple stripe that had small golden letters that wrote “Erik R.” In the cover.

  After taking a last look to his now empty room he went to the bathroom, he looked into the mirror over the sink and a guy with dark hair and light brown eyes looked back at him. This was going to be, probably the last time he was going to be there, at least until summer when he could come back for vacations if the Academy approved it.

  He took his things and walked down stairs to the living room, his dad was sitting in the dinner table doing something in his computer, Erik thought that maybe it was work, since most of the time he was working. He left his things near the entrance door and walked towards the living room, when he entered his dad looked at him over his reading glasses, like he was scanning him.

  ‘So, it begins, huh?’ his dad asked him, his voice was kind of rough, and low.

  ‘Yes… I guess’ said Erik while he walked passed him towards the main dinner table.

  The Redwoods didn’t live in a very big house, but in one that was perfectly the right size, it was old though, sometimes it crooked loudly, mostly in winter and other times it stayed fresh even though outside was hot as hell.

  Erik saw his mother sitting in one of the edges of the table, with a folder and a lot of other papers and documents around her. She had her red hair curled up in a bun above her head and a pair of reading glasses where just under it as if she was taking a small break from a very interesting story.

  ‘Hello sweetie, you have everything ready to go?’ she asked so motherly as always but without looking at him, probably because what she was reading was important information.

  ‘Yes mom, all of it is at the door…’ Erik answered as he took a seat at a side from his mother.

  ‘… I have to go right?’ Erik asked in a slightly sad tone.

  His mother looked at him and comb his hair with her hand. ‘Yes, you have to go, it’s for your own good.’

  ‘Yeah, I know that, but, I was the smartest kid at my school, isn’t that enough to just let me graduate?’ Erik asked, his tone denoted annoyance.

  ‘Well, if you had a good grade in the test you took a few weeks ago you won’t be there for long.’ his mother answered while she arranged the documents she had over the table. Erik was indeed the smartest kid in his school, but the Academy was a big deal for everyone, no exceptions.

  ‘Well, we need to go, you can’t be late on your first day of school ‘said his father from the living room.

  Erik took his things and got inside the car, the Academy wasn’t too far but it was a long walk from home. Erik looked out the window to the numerous houses, and other places he wasn’t going to see for the next semester. When they got to the Academy entrance a bunch of other families and students were already there. Most of them with a part of the Academy’s uniform, you didn’t have to wear all of it, but at least one piece of clothing from the uniform was required to all students to wear. Erik got out the car and put on the Academy’s cardigan it was very comfortable and he was used to wear sweaters and hoodies. He could see how a large line of students and parents was being made for the newcomers, so he went straight there. When his turn arrived, Erik gave his Academy ID, his luggage, and his mother the folder she was checking one last time before leaving, it had Erik’s birthday certificate, his notes from previous years and a lot of other important documents. The lady in the counter filed it and activated Erik’s ID for him to go through to the welcoming ceremony. He looked towards the entrance and turn around to face his parents.

  ‘I guess this is it, right?’ he asked looking at his ID.

  ‘Yes pal, this is it, from here you just got to go forward’ his dad told him.

  Erik hugged his parents ‘I hope I can see you in the summer’ he said while holding them.

  ‘Don’t worry moon pie, we’ll be fine you go and learn’ said his mom while Erik walked backwards slowly. Erik wanted to take a last glance at his parents, her mom with her shiny red hair and his dad with his reading glasses.

  Erik turned around and moved towards the entrance credit post. You had to slide your ID to get in, Erik did and a green light flashed, he got in and he just followed the bunch of students that walked in front of him.

  Erik noticed there were older students with what looked like a gaffet, they were herding the bunch of new students. The older students lead the group of newcomers to a courtyard, but there was a table where all the new students had to show their ID and they gave them a bag and some other school supplies.

  When Erik got to the table he could notice that the one who was taking the ID’s and giving away the school supplies was a girl, a very young girl, maybe a year or two older than him, but he was expecting an adult, he was 15 after all.

  ‘Welcome, ID please’ said the girl with a nice and cute voice. Erik gave her his ID and she just took note of his ID number and got him a bag like everyone else, but his was different, the other students got a normal backpack, but he got a side bag with a large strap to wear across his chest, it had the same pattern as his new laptop and also his surname engraved, “Redwood” in golden letters.

  The girl gave him that and a small envelope, Erik then noticed everyone else had a white one but his was of a bright purple.

  ‘Congratulations Erik’ she said while handing him the envelope.

  ‘Thanks, I guess’ Erik answered really weirded out.

  Everything was odd, he was getting all different than everyone else, but he had no time to think about it. He walked to the courtyard and stand between the students, relatively closed to the podium, there were what Erik assumed older students sited in a row, they got the same type of gaffette like the ones who lead them there.

  For a few moments the students kind of got arranged in lines along the courtyard, and Erik just crossed his arms and stayed where he was, he wanted to get this over with. After that a loud microphone noise could be heard. There was now a man in the podium, and he started speaking.

  ‘Welcome to the Academy, I am professor Daniels, unfortunately our honourable Principal Juniper couldn’t be here with us, but she hopes as much as all of us that you find this place as home. I hope that all of you know the rules by now, answer the final test correctly and you may go, although there is not much for you out there.’ That last part made Erik think a lot, if there wasn’t much out there, why everyone was so afraid of the Academy?

  ‘Now, everyone please, put your attention at the screen’ Beside him there was a big monitor and a lot of numbers started to pop out, there was two columns one that had “0-19” and another one with “20+”. ‘This is where we’ll know who is going to the beginners program or who will go to the Standard one.’ the numbers started to stop and in the “0-19” column there was a gigantic number, but in the “20+” column there was only a 2.

  ‘You’ve all been given an envelope, inside it you’ll find your grade from the test you took to enter here, please open them.‘ said the professor and he said something to one of the older students who was beside him.

  Erik took out his bright purple envelope and opened it, but he did it so desperately that he got a paper cut in the palm of his hand. Inside there was a small paper with a number in it “21/100”. Erik couldn’t believe it, he only got 21 questions correctly, but he was certain he was going to at least get 70 correctly, or at least that was what he estimated. He looked again at the screen and he saw the “20+” column, only a 2 was beside it, so he assumed he was one of the two who got over 20.

  He was perplexed, he had never got such a low grade before, he had a very unique ability to just answer all his exams correctly, but he had never got under a 90.

  ‘Hey, Redwood?’ Erik heard behind him, he turned around and saw a tall guy. ‘Yes, it’s me, Erik Redwood’ he answered quickly. ‘Come with me, the Principal wants to see you’ said the guy to him and he walked pass him. Erik followed him between the bunch of other students and out of the courtyard.

  ‘Sorry, my name is James, this is my third year here, pretty impressive what you managed to do, I still can’t get passed the 10th question.’ said James as he walked in front of Erik. James had been in the Academy for three years now, and he couldn’t answer more than 10 questions?! All of this was getting extremely weird, Erik couldn’t process it yet.

  ‘It’s impressive that this year we got two geniuses, since I’ve been here no student had ever got over 20, I remember the highest of my year was a girl with a 7.’ said James as he called the elevator. The main building was tall and full of windows, the elevator arrived and they got in. James pushed the 7th floor button and waited beside Erik.

  ‘I still can’t believe it, I mean, you should have killed yourself studying, and I thought that one guy that got a 20 10 years ago was crazy.’ James said as they arrived to the 7th floor, the elevator door opened and Erik could notice how everything was of the same colour scheme as his stuff. They walked for a while until they found the Principal’s office, James knocked on the door and it opened slightly.

  ‘I can’t go any further, it was an honour’ said James while he walked backwards before turning around and going towards the elevator.

  Erik, opened the door and entered the office, it was completely white, only a black desk with a black chair where on the other side of the room, Erik could notice like someone was sitting behind the desk.

  ‘Mr. Redwood? ‘ the Principal asked as he heard him enter.

  ‘Yes, it’s me, Erik Redwood ‘he said once again in the same tone he answered James in the courtyard.

  ‘I am very impressed with your grade, Mr. Redwood, I never thought someone could beat that number, I was the one who established it after all.’ the principal said while she turned around. She had black hair and bright blue eyes, she was wearing the entire Academy uniform and got a pair of pointy glasses on.

  ‘What you did was, unbelievable’ the Principal said and she stood up, she took out what looked like a cell phone and clicked something, then a bunch of holographic screens appeared in front of Erik, all of them denoted him, doing the exam, saying goodbye to his parents and even through the ceremony. ‘We kept a close sight of you Mr. Redwood, since the moment you got past the 20th question correctly we knew you were going to be a great student for the Academy, but we never thought you’ll make it all the way to the 21st question.’

  Erik just, couldn’t digest it, he only got 21 of 100 questions correct and he made a major achievement? The paper cut in her hand still sting but he tried to forget the pain and think about his current situation.

  ‘So, if I did something no one else was able to for the past 10 years…’ ‘Oh there is another, there was another who made it very far, a girl was able to answer the 20th question and was for about an hour or two famous, until you came along.’ answered the Principal while she sat back behind her desk.

  ‘I hope you’ll be able to graduate Mr. Redwood, I really do, after all, you wouldn’t be the first Redwood to do it. Inside your bag you’ll find a key and a new cell phone please use them to find and enter your dormitory, you’ll be in the main dormitories after all, you are not a beginner. You are dismissed.’ the Principal said as she turned around in her chair.

  Erik was still confused, but there was nothing else for him to do but to get to his dormitory, it was beginning to get dark anyways. He opened his bag and found, between other things, a thin and almost weightless transparent acrylic plaque. Not very large but of a dark grey. He analyses it but it was just a plaque, he found a small overture in the low part of it, small enough for a card of some sort to fit in. Erik took out his ID and slide it inside the acrylic plaque. It went right in, it fitted perfectly, after a few seconds the plaque went darker and the Academy symbol popped off the screen. Apparently that was the new “cell phone”, it finished loading and a dark screen showed three stripes with options. The first one said “Dormitories” then “Map” and finally “ID”. In the low right corner there was a power symbol which Erik assumed was to turn it off, and in the low left corner there was a quarter circle with four small points. Erik looked at the screen for a few seconds and a text box appeared over the screen.

                                                 //Hello,Erik…

                                             Would you like to

                                            initiate the tutorial

                                                   Protocol? //

                                         > Yes                 > No

  Erik touched the “Yes” option and the phone initiated the tutorial, it had a lot of functionalities, it was able to weigh object over it, it had a calculator, a translator with over 200+ languages, a holographic measuring tape to up to 10km, a GPS tracker and locator, scheduling board, internet navigation and the system to emulate any kind of app needed or installed.

  Without a doubt it was a brilliant piece of technology for a student, and it was very easy to be able to understand and use. Erik started the GPS tracker and set it to Dormitories, immediately the phone showed him the way. The Academy was, how to put it, one of a kind, it had a lot of green areas for the students to be able to study or hang out, the buildings were extremely technologically advanced and had the perfect environment to study or just hang out with people. Erik noticed that in the green areas there where some places with chairs or tall trees, perfect spots for a good read.

  Erik arrived at the dormitories building, it had a bunch of small plants and most of its walls were see through. Before being able to go upstairs to his room he had to go through the cafeteria, it was white and with a bunch of black chairs and tables. It was a pretty elegant and somehow it felt cosy, like a home, of course it wasn’t the same feeling as being home, but it had an incredible alikeness.

  Erik went through the large amount of tables and chairs towards the big stairs behind of it all. He got to the first small balcony of the place and someone caught his attention. In the centre table, a blonde haired girl with a ponytail was drinking tea slowly, she was wearing a light pink sweater with dark pink accents and a rose in her collarbone. She was peacefully sited with her legs crossed she looked almost as if she was royalty. The girl noticed Erik’s presence, she stood up and gave Erik a smile.

  The girl was, extremely beautiful, her hair was of a light and almost golden blonde colour, her eyes were of an icy blue, her lips thin and of a very lightly shade of pink, her chin was somehow pointy, her nose was exactly the right size for her face, and her collarbone was, well, simply attractive, it looked smooth and delicate.

  ‘You’re Erik, aren’t you? I am Helena, Helena Silvershine, a pleasure meeting you’ she said as she bowed a little bit. This was a sign of respect, you usually did it to greet someone much older than you or at an important meeting, it was etiquette.

  Erik bowed as well ‘Erik Redwood, a pleasure to meet you too’.

  A small smile was drawn in Helena’s face, but it was soon changed by an expression of concern.

  ‘Your hand, was it the envelope? Don’t worry, mine cut me too.’ She said taking Erik’s hand to look at it closer to see if he was more hurt.

  ‘It’s ok, don’t worry, it bled for a while, but now I am fine.’

  ‘You should take care of yourself, this could get infected, here let me take care of it’ Helena looked for something in her side bag, and she drew out of it a small dark cloth, and mended Erik’s wound. She tightened it up so it wouldn’t bleed again.

  ‘Thank you… Helena…’ said Erik, looking at her was somehow relaxing.

  Helena smiled at Erik, and their eyes met. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

  ‘Huh… you’re not like everyone else, you are different… in a good way.’ Helena said as she smiled softly.

  Erik’s first day at the Academy was a really strange one and full of questions, but meeting Helena made him feel something, something deep inside him, it wasn’t love, nor attraction, it was hope, hope that he could make it out of there, hope that maybe if he got out he could find his brother, hope that everything was going to be fine as long as they stick together. Erik smiled back at her, it has been a while since he smiled, even if it was for a small amount of time, he smiled, he truly smiled, not faking it and in a genuine matter. It felt good.

[beeblackburn]

What are your other favorite novels besides TSOIAF?

Thanks for the question!

OH GOOD GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN? 

Putting a “Keep reading” cut because some spoilers for the Realm of the Elderlingsseries and much gushing over one… okay, maybe two of the The First Law sequel standalones. 

First off, most of the novels from the Realm of the Elderlings series. (I’m not totally a fan of Golden Fool and even less of a fan of City of Dragons, except for the Malta, Alise and Sedric parts. Seriously, Malta is better than you all.) Hobb has this romantic melancholy that’s dripping with atmosphere throughout her stories. And I honestly like the meandering in her stories. It builds up this idyllic atmosphere and character development before Hobb’s punctures it and her characters with extreme violence inflicted onto them.

But if I had to single out books… Mad Ship, Fool’s Errand, Dragon Haven and Fool’s Quest.

Mad Ship because I kind of love Wintrow’s character arc here, balancing out his introspective tendencies (and condescension, let’s be honest) with the pragmatism of being in very dangerous territory and having to adapt in ways he never expected from the start of the trilogy. And I rather love how it comes out here and the jarring shift in perspective he has to have.

And this was the first book I got really… engaged with Kennit as a person. Ship of Magic, I was more disgruntled and sighing at his distrust of practically everyone, enemies and allies. I liked his character and Kennit was an intriguing bastard, but he lacked a sort-of human dimension for me. Here, it becomes damn clear that Kennit’s been through so much damage.

And his relationship with Etta and Wintrow and Vivicia is just really kind of intriguing and interesting and engaging to read because it felt like new territory for these characters and I love the way they bounced off each other in this book. They fed and worked off each other splendidly and I even got a few sad feels over Kennit with his relationship with Wintrow.

(No, I’m not excusing his behavior in Ship of Destiny, just pointing out that Mad Ship gave Kennit more dimensions for me to sink my teeth into.)

Althea, Brashen and the other Vestrit family members stopped making me slap my forehead a quarter of the time as well! With a common goal and united together, they were a force to reckon with. Shame it didn’t happen a book earlier, but hey, I’ll take what I can get. Paragon and Amber’s relationship was super intriguing (Amber has the best quote in Mad Ship by far) and Paragon is… Paragon. :)

Also, I STOPPED wanting to push Malta off a bridge. Forever. After a book and a half of her being the world’s most brattiest daughter (and bridge-pushing worthy) her POV became a delight to read because she finally got her priorities straight. The intelligence and cunning was always inside her, she just focused it onto other areas.

ALSO SHE STRONGARMED A DRAGON INTO HELPING HER. Heart eyes, yo.

Fool’s Errand was just great because it was the start to a whole new Fitz. A more dangerous, more competent and “not taking any shit” Fitz. He was rude, he was addicted to elfbark, he snapped back at Chade (honestly, I don’t blame him here), he cuts off all sexual relations with Starling after realizing her marriage, he’s quite obstinate to Dutiful and… that scene. Just that scene. If you read the novel, you know the scene.

Also more Fitz and Fool is wonderful. Along with Nighteyes. It’s a great three-way dynamic between all three and Fitz continued to shine as one of my favorite fantasy protagonists ever, showing off an older, mayhaps wiser, Fitz while making me cringe as he keeps retreating, he cuts himself from people he loves and probably love him back because he thinks they won’t care for him or that he’ll just trouble them.

It’s just a really good, self-contained book in my opinion, containing a nice main plot and a few good subplots thrown into the pot. It starts off slow as Robin Hobb books are like to do and subjects you to a tense storyline full of bang fantastic finishes and narrative pay-offs like you wouldn’t believe that hurt. That really hurt and twist in your heart.

I have an irrational soft spot for Dragon Haven. Sedric, Leftrin and Alise’s arcs were all amazing and I love how Sedric and Alise navigated their respective past abusive relationships and forged onward after realizing and accepting how awful their partner was. My heart ached for Sedric and Alise, even when they were screw-ups in their own right.

Fool’s Quest is just the book that Robin Hobb kept breaking my heart every 20-30 pages. It was so packed full of call-backs, narrative pay-offs, tragedy and heartbreak and triumphs and… I actually never wanted to facepalm at Fitz once. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love how deer-headed Fitz can be sometimes, but other times, they made me sigh and see red at Fitz for being an idiot (I’m talking that scene in Golden Fool.)

Here? Absolutely none of that. Everything made dramatic and characterization sense. There’s just a beauty and believable desperation in Fitz’s inner monologue over the circumstances of this novel. I love the way the story is paced, the snowy jewel that is Hobb’s prose, the old characters I meet again (Chade and Nettle) and the new characters I learn more about and like (Shun and Lant) and the settings Fitz treks to. This novel’s what I’d actually consider the best-constructed Robin Hobb story so far. No contest.

My all-time favorite fantasy standalone though? The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie. I love it, I just love it to pieces, I have a lot of embarrassing emotions for it and I’m pretty unapologetic about it. I have reread that book about 5-6 times and it’s still hilarious, insightful, pithy and full of rich characterization that I can chuckle at and feel a twig of empathy for.

It’s full of anti-war imagery and themes, but what I especially love about it are three things in particular:

1. I love how well Abercrombie captures the “sexy” nature of military bureaucracy. He’s done it with West’s chapters in The First Law, but here, he captures how frustrating it is to deal with the chain of command from a grunt and commander perspective, given his shifting POVs and how slow and unreliable communication between the ranks can be in medieval times. 

Good and shit men die, not because the enemy host was stronger or better than their host, but because lack of military intelligence, fog of war, racial prejudice, inability to take advantage of the terrain or inter-military rivalries. Sometimes, your men die because the messenger you sent to give your orders to them got shot by a stray arrow. By sheer luck, men can lose their lives.

Also, Tunny. Tunny is a one-man commentary on military chain of command.

2. The prose. Abercrombie writes battle scenes like no one’s else business. In my opinion, he writes some of the most chaotic, blood-rushing and deafening war scenes ever, perfectly capturing what it’s like for a common soldier to fight in the middle of a warzone… and how utterly nuts it is, given all that clangor and blades flying. Basically, read the “Casualties” chapter. It’s a masterpiece.

But Abercrombie isn’t content with writing visceral, skull-bashing action, he’s also hilarious, full of sardonic asides and witticisms into his descriptions. Basically, every thought out of Gorst and Calder’s head is gold, Gorst’s in how acidic, self-pitying and sarcastic it is (oh my god, the letter he writes to the King of the Union alone… and stuff like this in the middle of a battlefield: “Gorst had the expression of a boy who had been told he could not have a puppy this year.”) and Calder in how sardonic, slippery and self-conscious it can be. 

And his prose is always clear-cut, but it sings with how accessible and seamless it feels to read. It’s beautiful in a sharp way, most sentences are meant to cut you with a feeling and they hit their marks generally. That’s the thing about Abercrombie’s works: they’re infinitely quotable, almost every line hilarious, poignant, brutal or darkly funny. 

3. THE CHARACTERIZATION BECAUSE ABERCROMBIE EXCELS HERE.

First off, I love Beck. He’s a kid who goes through a well-treaded “war is hell” arc, but it works here because 1. he wasn’t a total innocent, he was an asshole at the start and that’s okay, Abercrombie doesn’t gloss over teenage entitlement, 2. the way he finds out about how hellish war can be is rather shocking in a genre sense, 3. The First Law is all about people trying to escape the cycle of violence and failing and only getting out through death or getting out before your wrists are drenched in blood. Beck’s fate at the end is downright refreshing as a result.

Also, Gorst. Gorst is one fascinating onion from outer layer to the deepest depths of himself. You get all this noted politeness from the giant he is, his constant scathing, contemptuous inner monologue, snarking at everyone’s blaring incompetence, some truly messed-up impulses from his psyche and some really savage swordplay from a “gentle giant” of a man. Gorst is layered and the narrative pay-off for his arc at the end is truly Abercrombiesque.

Finree. Okay, this woman is awesome. Flawed and she constantly blurs the lines of decency and self-interest, love and ambition, gritted politeness and sharp bluntness, but she is awesome and she’s a fascinatingly different perspective on war, both from her relations with her commander father and husband and her own cunning. When you stare down and snipe at both Bayaz and Black Dow, wiping the smirk off Bayaz’s face, you win. You just win to me.

Craw was a cool old guy and I love how Abercrombie doesn’t really tear down the “honor gets you dead” idea that more nihilistic, darker fantasies (including his own!) here. Craw being a “Straight Edge” is actually what gains him social cache and nets him approval from others. People trust him not to stab them in the back and, for the most part, Craw’s not really punished for that so much as his sense of ethics doing it for him. Plus, it’s really fascinating to get a peek into Black Dow’s psyche through Craw’s eyes.

(Also, holy crap, Shivers. You’re scary. You’re so very scary, you’re more ruthless and nihilistic Sandor and my heart kind of hurts for you, but you’re frightening as hell.)

But yeah, I just want to talk about Prince Calder because so many emotions over this scheming bastard. His first chapter already endeared me to his characterization, being an ambitious, scheming, quippy fallen prince who has a heart of silver (bronze more like) towards his wife, his growing insecurities over his place in this warrior society gave me room to empathize with and even his blunt, direct scheming was charming in a win-less way. And his ruthlessness with strangers was par for the course of Abercrombie protagonists.

Then Scale’s initial fate on the battlefield and Calder’s reaction to it. 

Calder only grew more awesome from there when he finally decided to start walking the talk and apply himself into showing the kind of leader he could be. From the military actions he takes, to the funny stuff he commits to, to being snarky under pressure, I grew more and more respect for him not being all talk while acknowledging he’s done some ugly stuff in the past and will continue to do so in the future.

And then his interactions with Black Dow and Bayaz at the end. My brain cheered at the former and it melted at the latter. That meeting was legendary. And then his last chapter. Calder is playing a ballsy as all hell game in the North. It’s just… Calder’s got layers and probably the best character arc in The Heroes.

So yeah, The Heroes, I will always gush unabashedly. Great characters, tight pacing, wonderful themes, smooth prose, witty quotes, hilarious remarks, what’s not to love?

That being said, Red Country has really growing on me a lot in the past year ever since I got more into the Western genre and the writing style in my university courses. It might be Abercrombie’s warmest of his first six novels where not all characters are strictly bastards or monsters, some just being normal people whose only crime is being stuck in a moral rut and not being strong enough to break out of it yet or dark people genuinely trying to reach for better. Same world, but different cast of characters, a relatively moral one.

In that sense, I really appreciate Red Country as Abercrombie deconstructing himself. Temple and Shy are two normal people caught in the muck of darker people and made witnesses to even blacker deeds. It’s genuinely jarring when I read Cosca, one of my favorite anti-heroes, become a dark, dark man since last time, his humor intertwined with horror and atrocity he perpetuates onto more innocents now. And Lamb… let’s just say I got the chills reading Lamb and my reactions to them were Temple and Shy’s reactions to them.

And yet, it’s not entirely pitch-black. The same cutting humor is still there, but there’s a gentle wistfulness in this work barely there in The Heroes. There are some people who regret their black deeds of the past and some who want to rise above the mud again… and some even succeed, believe it or not. For the most overt time, Abercrombie allows some characters to change for the better. After a shitton of skulls, but it’s par for the course of Abercrombie. 

@racefortheironthrone​ also, I’m curious. I’ve seen that you’ve read Abercrombie and commented on the world-building of The First Law but what’s your take on the sequel standalones as stories of themselves?

As for other favorites… Wolf Hall (very well-written historical fiction), The Goblin Emperor (not a book for cynics), The Lies of Locke Lamora (reread 3-4 times, such a beautiful jewel of prose) and the entirety of The Dagger and the Coin quintet (seriously, read it for Geder Palliako and Clara Kalliam, such rich characters that deconstruct well-worn tropes).

[singingpeople]

5. Eric - Insights

I wanted to write this yesterday, but gave up after 200 words, because I had no idea what I was writing :D . The clown in the gif is seriously freaking me out & I doubt that I will sleep tonight... :D especially since it was the first suggestion for a gif.. :D

Thank you for 175 followers! you are the best!! This is an extra long chapter of Eric!! :)

@pathybo @jojuarez26 @diary2000 @love17mwh @tigpooh67

If someone wants to be tagged or if I forgot someone please send me a message! :)

The little stiff had to spend over a week in the infirmary, the first two days of it, unconscious. Eventhough her injuries weren’t that bad or would leave any lasting damages, Amy had taken a few hits to her head, resulting in a concussion. So she had to take one and a half weeks off training, which hadn’t done her already bad ranking any good.

The little stiff was lucky, the leaders didn’t cut initiates anymore, like they had a few years ago, since dauntless was in need of lower workers and because the council got wind of their methods.

They didn’t approve.

Why the warrior faction let some stiffs decide, what they were allowed to do, Eric had no idea, but Max had given Eaton his word, to stop the cutting, unless the initiates proved they had absolutely no business here.

So this was the new way of action in dauntless.

As told by the stiffs.

A day after the fight, Eric had been summoned to Max´ office. Having no idea why, the young leader was surprised, when his superior reprimanded him, for letting an initiate be put into the infirmary, just to spite her brother.

From that moment on, Eric knew, Four had told on him and managed to convince Max, that he shouldn’t be in charge of the further fights anymore.

How childish.

Eventhough Eric tried to argue with Max, that every dauntless would have to be able to take on a stronger opponent, because no factionless would hesitate in harming a female, Four had accused him of maliciously targeting the women in his life, just to anger him. As if Eric would stoop so low.

At least that´s what he told Max.

 But knowing his prodigy from the day he first arrived at dauntless, the head leader didn’t believe one word coming out of Eric´s mouth. Max always saw right through Eric´s bullshit and this time wasn’t an exception. The only thing that made him wonder about his motives, was the hint of regret at his actions, Max thought to detect, but it was gone, before he could be sure.

So he ordered his inferior leader to oversee training, without interfering, if he would be there at all.

Four was skilled enough to train the transfers on his own, like he had proved the two years prior.

Eric on the other hand, was desperately needed, to deal with Jeanine Matthews and her bunch of ass lickers. His upbringing in erudite and his mother´s position constituting a huge advantage to the leadership of dauntless. That the woman couldn’t take a hint and proceeded to harass Max about the collaboration of their two factions, manage to piss him off big time.

So the incident would be the perfect opportunity for Max to pass on the dirty work and make sure, two of his best fighters wouldn’t kill each other over an initiate.

Because Four made it perfectly clear, he wouldn’t hold back, if Eric did something like this to his sister, ever again.

And Max believed every word he said.

 So the next few weeks, Eric had to endure countless meetings, most of them hosted in erudite, where he had to fend of the maniacal and rather threatening ideas of Jeanine, instead of watching the fights, that were his favorite part of initiation.

After having countless slideshows presented to him, Eric seriously asked himself, how people, that prided themselves in being intelligent, could propose such dense conceptions to him.

Like hunting people, with multiple attitudes for testing purposes.

Eric knew, they were experimenting on members of their own faction, but because those did it ´voluntary´, for the sake of science, eventhough they were secretly forced to, there was nothing, the young leader could do against it.

And it pissed him off.

 Between those meetings, for which he had to travel across half of the city, the paperwork, that piled up in his office and his other leader duties, time flew and before he knew it, it was time for the final fear landscape, that was mandatory for every leader.

And Eric was late.

Jeanine had woken him up at 4 am, claiming there was a factionless attack on erudite. Being the responsible leader, Eric shot out of bed, calling the control room, where Four´s little girlfriend then told him, that there was nothing on the monitors.

But Eric had to investigate either way.

So with two patrol squads, just to be sure, they were off to the erudite sector, less than ten minutes later.

 Arriving at the place, the riot was supposed to be, there were four factionless, to be exact. Two of them were children under five kicking around a can, one old man sitting against a decaying building, sleeping, and a younger woman, that ushered the kids away, when she saw the dauntless trucks arriving.

Eric had never seen as much destruction, as it was now in front of him.

Sarcasm.

 So he went inside, to confront the witch of erudite, but when she was awaiting him, with another slideshow, that was supposed to portray, how slow the dauntless would have been, if this wouldn’t have been an exercise, but a real attack, Eric all but lost it.

The only thing keeping him from wringing the wrench´s neck, was the fact, that this would have most likely resulted in a civil war.

Not to mention, that the honorable leader of this city just waited for an opportunity to get Eric out of his way, with whatever method there was.

Even if the disappearance of Jeanine would secure Marcus´ claim for power, he hated Eric more.

And no one dared to question him, not even after the rumors, except Eric of course, which made him a threat.

 After calming down, Eric had send the squads back to the compound, knowing this would take ages and that he could ride the train back to the compound.

That was a mistake.

Of cosmically extents.

Eric should have just told Jeanine, he had something important to do for the final testing and leave. But he didn’t and she somehow managed to keep him there for over four hours, making him miss the train at 9 am.

Now it was 10.20 am and Eric hurried through the compound, that was packed with members, that couldn’t wait to hear the results, eventhough the testing hadn’t even started.

Now Eric was up for more than six hours and he was late.

If there was something the hated almost as much as cowardice, it was tardiness. Because that mirrored the weakness of one’s mind.

Detestable.

 Arriving, the young leader was reprimanded by his superior, while Four and the rest of leadership just looked annoyed, because they´ve had to wait over thirty minutes.

This made his shitty day even worse and after watching the fears of too many cowards, that believed to be dauntless, Eric was itching to punch something, but he had to be content with glaring at every single person in this room.

Maybe later, when everyone was drunk, he could edge one of the drunk bastards on, to fight him, eventhough they would run away when sober.

 After the third time, Eric had seen himself making an appearance in one of the fear landscapes, doing things to the initiates somewhere between humiliating and killing them, it was finally time for the last initiate to be put under the serum.

Having been so caught up with erudite, Eric was more than surprised, that is was Four´s sister, who seemed to rank first and as a result had to go last. Having heard of her the last time, he went over the combat records, Eric had no idea how she could have improved so much.

Especially since she was so bad in first stage, that only her knife throwing saved her from a life on the streets.

 With renewed interest, Eric watched hawk-eyed, how her brother injected Amy with the serum, whispering something to her, that made her smile, before stepping away.

The redhead closed her eyes and the screens in the fear landscape room came to life.

And what they showed, had everyone stunned in silence, before a few broke into chuckles.

 There on the screen, the little stiff was being chased by some creatures, that looked truly frightening with their wide, colorful clothes, white painted faces with huge, red painted lips, red wigs and an axe in hand.

Eric knew exactly what these things were. After all he had written a psychological report about them, like his father had demanded in middle school.

Clowns.

 Coming to a halt, after only ten seconds of running, Amy inhaled deeply, before turning back and facing the three clowns, that somehow awkwardly came after her.

Their big shoes certainly posing a disadvantage.

Using that weakness, she ran towards them, sliding down through the legs of one, before standing up as fast as possible and snatching the wig from the clown´s head, that was in the middle.

Laughing like a maniac, Amy sprinted into the direction they had come from, waving the wig in the air, before the hallway faded into a dark space.

All around the room people started laughing at the scene and it even made Eric grin a little, what he carefully hid, by leaning forward and resting his elbows on his legs, rubbing his mouth.

Her laughter still rang through his head, as the screen turned black.

 The next fear was boring and almost over as soon, as it started. Amy had to sit in a dark room, without any light, or noises, her breathing the only noise.

After two deep breaths, the dark room faded into a grey living room, Eric knew was the obligatory one in abnegation houses.

Looking around herself, Eric saw her breathing quicken and he squinted his eyes, as she closed hers, seemingly trying to calm herself.

A loud banging noise made her jump and she turned frightful towards the hallway.

“Amelia!” The deep voice was familiar to Eric, like to everyone else in this room. Eventhough the young leader was sure, no one had ever heard it so full of malice.

He noticed, how everyone seemed to sit up straight and take notice, wondering if the things they saw three years ago, would repeat themselves today.

The only person to turn away from the screen was Four and Eric saw him balling his fists, to the point that his knuckles turned white.

 “Father.” Amy replied with a shaky voice, wringing her hands in front of her.

“Tell me, Amy.” Marcus started with a sickly sweet voice, as he took threatening steps towards his daughter. “Did you know he would deflect?”

“N… no, father. I had no idea Tobias…”

Marcus interrupted her by banging his fists on the table, face red with rage.

 “Don´t you dare speak this selfish boy´s name in my house!” He screamed, pushing her away harshly. As she fell to her knees, the man they entrusted with leading their council, opened his belt buckle and pulled it out of its loops. “And never lie to me again!”

 “I wasn’t lying, father! Please!” She begged, still on her knees, not daring to stand up again, to not show any signs of resistance, that would have gotten her more lashes for sure. “I had no idea!”

 “I´m going to teach you to not be selfish anymore!” Marcus spoke harshly, just before he grabbed her neck and pushed her down to the floor. With her head down, her whole back was exposed to him and to keep it like that, Marcus put his foot on her sideways turned head, raising his belt.

“It´s for your own good.”

As the first cracking of leather hitting its target and a following whimper was heard, Eric clenched his fists, before exchanging a meaningful look with Max.

They both knew from the start, what this vile man was capable of.

And this was their evidence.

 Four´s posture was taut like a bow, fists clenched and eyes closed, he took deep breaths, as he heard the belt mutilating his little sisters.

 In the sim, Amy was mirroring him, arms crossed beneath her, as she breathed through her nose. After roughly five hits, the room around her blurred and instead of the living room, where her father had beaten her, she was now in the kitchen, peeling potatoes for dinner, just as two male voices started screaming at each other.

 Gripping the sink, Amy´s eyes wandered to the knife block, were the kitchen knives were stored. Grabbing the largest one, the redhead whirled around, as she heard leather hitting something.

But this time it wasn’t fabric, it was bare skin.

Running into the living room, which Eric only now realized, must have been the to-go-to place for punishments, a scrawny Four was standing shirtless, arms crossed behind his head, as his father let the belt slap down with vicious force. Four was looking, like he had, when he first came to dauntless, over three years ago.

No muscles, only scars.

 “No!” Amy shouted at her father, before running to stand in front of her brother, gripping the belt, that was once again coming down. But before she could tug it out of Marcus´ hand, he raised his fist, punching her in the head, so she fell to the floor.

 “What you don’t seem to understand is, that everything I do, I do for you! And you selfish little brats don’t understand, what is good for you!”  He lectured the two of them, as if he wasn’t just beating them, but rather having a calm discussion over dinner, which creeped Eric even more out.

What expired in front of him was malevolent and unnecessary violence, not to mention Marcus was beating up kids.

And his own ones at that.

 Eyeing the knife, that was now lying beside her, Amy grabbed it and hurled herself at her father, just as he pulled back, to strike again.

Marcus froze midair and as Amy took a step back, everyone inside the room went quiet, as they saw the knife, that was embedded to the hilt in Marcus´ torso.

So far, this landscape had topped everything, Eric ever saw and as Four embraced his little sister in the sim, whispers arose throughout the room.

Eventhough it wasn’t real, the girl in front of them had just killed her father, to save her brother, without a second thought.

And Eric was proud of her display of strength.

It certainly was the dauntless thing to do.

 When Eric looked up again, the little stiff stood in an amity field, the wind softly rocking the golden grain back and forth. What she was doing there, he had no idea, but there was a dark haired woman walking towards her, her locks disheveled by the wind.

Eric was blown away by the sight of his little stiff, standing in the field, her long, red hair swaying in the wind, an adorable smile on her face.

If he would have even one creative strand inside him, that had nothing to do with violence, Eric would have painted her.

Just like that.

Because the young leader knew, he would never again see such beauty and perfection ever again.

 Amy stood there for a moment, before running towards the older woman, pulling her into a hug. As the woman brushed the hair out of her face, Eric realized that she couldn’t be that much older than he was now. Maybe 5 years, give or take a few.

And she was beautiful.

Now Eric knew, where the little stiffs looks were coming from. She was a spitting image of her mother, only her hair colour a different one.

“Mom.” Amy whispered, her face adorned in adoration, while the woman smiled brightly her.

“Amelia, you are such a stunning young woman. And I am heartbroken that I couldn’t watch you grow up.” She pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead, before stepping back. “I´m sorry for leaving you. And I love you. Never forget that.”

 “No! Mom, wait…!” Amy started and took a step forward, but her mother was fading into the background, like a hologram, while Amy stayed back, her smile now replaced by a look of despair.

 Eric saw Four watching the display with regret, so he assumed, this was a metaphor for their mother’s death, most likely because she didn’t know, how she really died.

And she must have been portrayed, how Amy remembered her, because the woman on screen would have been way too young to have a grown up daughter.

 But Eric, never having a deep bond with his mother, didn’t pity Amy for not knowing hers. If she was stupid or cunning enough to engage with Marcus Eaton, she couldn’t have been a good person herself.

 The Amy on screen took deep breaths, a decent method to calm herself down, when the scene changed once again, leaving her in the outskirts of the abnegation sector.

Handing an apple to a factionless woman, Amy made her way towards the houses. Eric could have never told from outside, or inside, which one was hers.

 Looking over to the timer above the screen, Eric saw that her five fears only took her roughly one and a half minute each, leaving her with an advantage of six minutes, from the best ranking initiate till now.

If she would go on like that, she would be first, there was no doubt about it.

But Eric had assumed too fast.

  Arriving inside her house, Amy tidily put away her jacket and bag. Her father must have not been home, since she started to smile, a skip in her step.

“Toby?” She called, walking into the living room. “Where are you?”

When she didn’t get any answer, Amy furrowed her brow, sticking her head into the kitchen, but her brother wasn’t there.

“Toby, come on!” She called, before making her way up the stairs, taking the second door right.

“Tobias?” Asking hesitantly, Amy opened the door slightly, peeking inside.

 “No…” She breathed, before pushing it open with so much force, it hit the wall. Stepping inside, the monitors showed… nothing.

Just a plain grey room, without any furniture or other signs of an occupant. Running over to the built in closet, Eric saw that she started to hyperventilating, as she pulled these doors open, too.

And once again she was faced with a yawning emptiness.

 “No, no, no…” She chanted desperately, as she realized, there was no track of her brother inside this room.

 Just with like the hiding space under the floor boards and the place on the wall, where she ran her fingers across it.

And then, she started to cry.

Not normal crying but full on hysterical sobbing, while trying to get her breathing under control.

Beside her in the chair, Four was running his hands over his face, as his little sister didn’t manage to calm down this time.

 And her time was running out.

 When she was finally able to control herself again and calm her heartbeat, she had wasted over eight minutes, costing her the first ranking.

Of that, Eric was sure.

Eventhough the rest had been flawless, the last sim had been more than pathetic and it must have been her first time, conquering that fear. Otherwise she would have been better.

She would have been faster.

What a shame.

 As she came back to reality and flung herself into her brother’s arms, Max dismissed everyone. Except the leaders, that was. They would have to finalize the rankings, in excruciating hours of discussing ridiculous fears of disgraceful initiates.

The only thing saving Eric´s day was the prospects of booze later and the memory of a redhead, stealing a clown´s wig, while running away, laughing hysterically.

.

.

.

The finalizing of the rankings had taken ages and like Eric had predicted, Amy lost first place. But she ranked third, which was a miracle for a former stiff. Or if you look at the years prior, not so much.

Either way, Eric was on his way home, after a few beers with Wayne, not wanting to take any further part in the celebration or picking up a woman, because he was too tired to do so. He was just walking towards his apartment, as someone stumbled into him.

Eric was ready to snap at the idiot, that stumbled into him, just as he saw familiar red hair.

“I´m so sorry…” Amy started to slur, obviously drunk, before she squinted her eyes, scrutinizing his form. Recognizing her youngest leader, she raised one arm, pointing at him and talking in an accusing voice. “You!”

 Raising his eyebrows at her fierceness, Eric was amused by the girl in front of him. He was sure, she was so busted, she wouldn’t remember this in the morning, so there was nothing oppose to having a little fun with her.

“Yes?”

“You are a mean person.” Trying to articulate her words, Amy drawled them comically, making Eric chuckle.

Both, at her behavior and her words.

“That´s hardly something new.”

 “I know.” She said stubbornly, stumbling slightly, before sticking her pointer finger in his chest. “But it was still mean to make me fight him. Slayer is sooo huge.”

 “But that´s what makes one dauntless. To not back down, even from impossible challenges.” Eric began to lecture her, but she didn’t listen. She was distracted, with pocking his pectorals and abs in different places, which lightly tingled.

“God… are those even real?!” Stunned, Amy was now feeling the attractive man in front of her up with both hands. Due to her inebriate state, they were wandering lower and lower…

Catching both her wrists in one hand, just before they could reach the waistband of his boxers, Eric pushed her against the wall, careful to not hurt her head, while caging her in.

Having made every chance of escape futile, Eric ran his nose along her neck, making her shiver, before coming up to face her.

“Those are very much real. You want to touch them?” Eric breathed, voice low and seductively, his mouth only inches away from hers.

Enchanted, the little stiff was watching the every movement of his mouth, that hovered above hers and because she was rendered speechless, the only thing she could do, was nod.

 Smirking at the stunned silence, his muscles had her in, Eric lowered his head even more, until he was able to capture her lips with his.

Her movements were uncoordinated, but satisfying none the less. But before long, Eric pulled back, biting her lip slightly in the process.

The moan he was eliciting from her, made him chuckle, his voice raspy and body aroused.

“Well if you remember this tomorrow, you know where to find me.” Whispering seductively, Eric let go of her wrists, stepping back and retreating down the hallway. He had no idea, if the kiss or the alcohol rendered her motionless for a few seconds and he only heard the sound of disapproval coming from her, when he was already several feet away.

“Laters, stiff!” Calling over his shoulder, Eric made his way home, to either have a rendezvous with his right hand, or a cold shower. He hadn’t decided yet which one it would be. As he crossed a hallway, he saw Four searching for his little sister, so Eric didn’t have to worry about her falling into the chasm or something like that.

But as he pondered about the kiss they shared, the young leader wondered if he had just stolen the stiff´s first kiss.

If so, she was rightfully his.

She just wasn’t aware of that yet. 

But Eric had been right.

When Amy had awoken the next day, head clouded and pounding from all the alcohol, she didn’t remember the encounter in the abandoned hallway, just minutes before her brother found her and put her to bed.

 How his muscles had thoughts of licking up them, until reaching the blocks on his neck, had flashed through her mind.

How his rough, but somehow gentle touch made her skin burn.

Or how his skillful lips indeed stole her first kiss.

[acn59685-blog]

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Shane and Dana ensure their employee have the required tools to plug into ACN's tested system of success by getting consumers. That system consists of not only establishing objectives and also fantasizing huge however also constant personal growth. "Succeeding in ACN comes down to wish, decision and a willingness to grow as an individual," Shane claims.

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Effort is in Marc Isaac's blood. "My dad moved our family out of the Philippines in 1995 to ensure that we can have a much better life as well as work hard to attain the American Desire," Marc discusses. "Our moms and dads have actually constantly done whatever it requires to aid my sister as well as I; so repaying to my parents is a huge top priority."

"The outright highlight regarding ACN is seeing brand-new individuals realize that their dreams are feasible via effort, dedication and also loyalty to this firm," Aaron claimed. "My objective is to assist other people accomplish success by following the system and getting customers. We are refrained till we are all done." Michael examined service at Penn State then started offering autos, a work that made him say, "I was working hard. There is only so much time in a day." Patrick graduated from the University of Pittsburgh then dealt with his very own retailing service. Both brothers had actually accomplished some level of success, they really felt there was something missing out on. "Often individuals ask me, 'is it actually difficult as well as difficult to do this business?' My response is this: The system is straightforward. If a man from Bangladesh that has no network or education here could do it, you could as well. Adhere to the system by getting clients-- and you can discover success." Today, Michael focuses his time and also talents on assisting other individuals revise their own individual success tales. "The services are excellent; the structure is solid. We as individuals are the only variable," Michael said. "The only difference in where you are and where I am is 3 points: dedication, effort as well as time." Art's kids grew up as component of the ACN family and he mores than happy they're beginning. "This is a family company with my partner, youngsters, sibling and sister involved," he includes. "The future is brighter than the past thanks to the vision for change the company embraces." Today, James has exactly what he's constantly wanted: just the time to appreciate his life, yet he hasn't already quit introducing others to the ACN Chance. "I really feel everybody needs to know about this business. The atmosphere alone that ACN develops could make you a much better individual."