#but im rly. trying not to
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growing up!
#FALLS TO THE FLOOR!!!!#so shocking news: the silver artbook actually killed me a little. this is the first finished pic ive made since#wow isnt it crazy that 26 completed illustrations would kinda take it outta ya. bananas. i need to Not do a full bg again for a minute#i had the stupid thought like 'oohhgh i could do a series of silver and lilia as hes growing up!!' im HITTING ME!!! NO MORE SERIES!!!#I CAN DO NON-RELATED PICS OF THAT IF I MUST!!! THE PRESSURE OF A SERIES IS TOO TIRING RN!!!!#my life is a whirlwind i JUST moved and now might need to move again bc the nepotism might work and id make a ton more#im trying to sell my house and its going very poorly. im doing well at work. ID HAFTA MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AGAIN#ID BE BACK NOOOORTH id go to pennsylvania <3 im from new york so the thought of being closer to my mom is rly nice#and i have friends there both from high school and ohiiiio and new england etc etc!!!! YAY!!!#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#did u miss this. be honest. when i vanish for months at a time do u miss the rambling life updates. theyre who i am
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oversaturate
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers#and i LOVE how it looks but god it takes so long painting like this#i had a ref style i was going for that was a lot more washed out and watercoloury#and to be fair my take on it did start out looking more adjacent to that#u can still kinda see remnants of the initial watercolour washes in the collar of yuuji's jacket in th bottom one#but it Did Not Last fhdjfjjg what can i say im a gouache/oils gal#i can't use soft greys and watery inks i need stark blacks i need the reddest red the colour wheel will provide#one thing i did keep from the refs were the sharp prickly fine lines i think those look real cool against textured colour blocks#anyway ive also been having a lot of fun playing with rly rly harsh lighting on the hair#and even thinner linework put down after the colour as opposed to before#probably one of the reasons why it takes a lot longer but also it mimics traditional art a lot more#ill probably continue playing around with this sort of render ! or at least keep elements of it
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being in love with a fictional character will make u produce art u didnt know u were capable of
~
[if ur part of the "fiction doesnt affect reality" crowd: please fuck off lol]
#me: oh teehee lets just do this for fun bc im bored and want to try smth i haven't done in a year#the art: hi im gonna turn out far above what u thought u had the skillset for#im convinced this is just beginners luck DBDJDKL or like...#one of those times where u just produce rly good art for a day or two and then it never happens again DBFHDKL#ur graced by the light of some creative spirit entity and then they fuck off into the void randomly and leave u with no abilities SBJDKDL#dandy.cmd
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uhh shadowheart hip freckle. if you were wondering.
#shadowheart#lae'zel#bg3#my art#this is tame enough to post here right#it’s just undies#nsft#maybe??#tbh i rly don’t understand the ass-showing standards here anymore im just trying to be courteous
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urfgghh
#struggling not to drop off the face of the planet and web again lol#im. rly struggling#but i promised myself i wouldn't#its literally a disservice to myself and my friends and i just cant#ive done that literally enough#isolation is bad for me i have to keep telling myself this lol#even if i do fucking crave it at times its only because shit gets overwhelming thats all#when i get overwhelmed i shut down and hide#idk how else to deal#but im rly. trying not to#ohhh my god its so hard not to 100% shut down#i get in a bad mental space and pick at my brain and it just gets bad lol#then years worth of problems come up#then im focusing on shit that didn't even set me off in the first place#then everything is a problem all at once and i feel like me and my life is a mess#and then every waking minute of having my phone around is frustrating and i just want to toss it#oof#anyway i ripped half my nail off from when i umm. accidentally? cut myself a month ago#and yeah that just put me over the edge cuz i was already fucking struggling#i feel caged and trapped thats like half my problem#and like useless and um#i rly feel unaccomplished in literally anything and a waste of space#smhhhhhhhhhhh#im not gonna disappear i gotta tell myself that over and over#little steps lol#if i disappear ill like get into that 'off myself' state and i rly dont need to drop that low again even tho i kinda already have#i need distractions#i should probably go do something productive like shower and eat#voxxrambles#txt
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tag two blondes who do fuckall
#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#dungeon meshi#fanart#id in alt text#i owed it to falin to draw her w farsighted swag intact#im trying to get everyone i know into dm right now so i figure i should lean into it#will i draw other chars Maybe i do rly want to draw namari actually#and meijack.....
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Topless outdoor coffee mornings anyone??
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#I'm not mad I promise. I just dyed my eyebrows before I dyed my hair so I look rly pissed off abt everything 😂#Also i am freshly showered so I decided to dry off in the sunshine instead of the normal boring way#Trying to decide if tonights look will need clothes over the top (pop to pub version) or 😻 out kinda vibes (wine at home)#I'm leaning towards the later fr#satans knitwear#girls with piercings#alt pinup#pinup girl#Does my face give masc vibes just bc im wearing no makeup??? Kinda yeah. Very sexy of me.#Maybe it's the tired/dead eyes lmao#cheeky#Happy Friday my loves! Lots to do today but thinking about fun things for us this evening 👀✨#Spotify
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Hi friends. We finally made Pochita her gofundme. Any small amount helps even a buck or two. This is gonna be a long journey to help her live anything resembling a normal life again so i'm really grateful for all the support we've received at this time. if you can't donate please just send her psychic love 💗🙏 Thankyou so much 🐾
#pochita#Sorry if i have to reblog this a lot i swear im gonna try rly hard to get back to my usual blogging too#its just crazy right now life is crazy
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little update on what I've been up to for the last uhhh *checks timestamps* eleven months jesus fucking christ
#escaflowne#dilandau albatou#im gonna try to make an effort to actually post with any frequency again bc ive rly fallen off of posting to tumblr#and i kinda miss being more active in fandoms
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so why is Luka obsessed with Hyuna anyway?
(mostly just trying to get my thoughts on Luka down before blink gone rewires my brain)
every pet human is extremely limited in freedom, but Luka's case is definitely the worst literally even his birth was by Heperu's design... he can't control any aspect of his own life, from his participation of ALNST (twice!) to what he eats on a daily basis
*translations all by whatafruit
humans have no power over segyein, and Luka doesn't even have any power over own his own body so what can he have power over, then?
other humans, of course
most obvious in round 5: Luka would've had an easy win even if he barely tried, but he goes out of his way to provoke Mizi anyway until she finally snaps... and he smiles as he's beaten
because this is his "power." he successfully manipulated Mizi into reacting, proving he has some control over the situation no matter how pointless it is in the grand scheme of things, this is all he can influence, so he makes the absolute most of it and this control is so important to him he doesn't care about his own physical injuries
it's Hyuna talking in this comic, but clearly reflecting Luka's own mentality
while for Hyuna it's likely just her love for singing and performing (whatever happens, they can't take this away from her) for Luka I imagine it's the ability to influence others from the stage (crushing his opponents, but also shaping his fanbase?)
...so back to Luka -> Hyuna
it’s mentioned more than a few times that Hyuna’s a really talented performer, but seeing their respective stat pages really drives it in
(think the “superiority test” Hyuna was put through relates to this also)
Hyuna doesn't seem to have been created in any special way like Luka was… she just has a natural affinity to performing. and that's enough that she’s considered a real rival to Luka—Luka, who was literally made for this, and put through constant hellish training on top (the pain of having your heart stopped...) to mold him into the perfect idol
to Luka… if he can’t dominate Hyuna, he can't even take pride in his own ability (that everything he's forced to go through amounts to something?). and power over other humans is all he has, so he needs to overpower Hyuna (also he likely admires Hyuna’s talents at the same time, which just adds to his twisted feelings)
so since his ability isn't enough... by making someone think of you, only you… that’s another way of having power over someone, isn’t it
“your life is mine” “I told you I only wanted one thing”
whatever exactly happened with Hyunwoo… well that certainly worked. both removing Hyuna's most important person and making Luka someone she can't not think of (oh and he doesn't seem particularly interested in Hyunwoo despite how similar the siblings are in personality? Hyunwoo was even the first to approach Luka, not Hyuna so it's likely because he doesn't have his sister's talents)
but you know how his intimacy(?) value for her is only 70% I figure that's because she escaped, so they could never actually face off onstage... maybe he's disappointed in her "wasting" her ability
what all this amounts to is that she did end up escaping his control, and he never even got to compete against her. so until he can somehow completely overpower her, he'll be obsessed with her
I wonder if this represents his final effort to that... ultimately, he values control over his own well-being, so if he can goad Hyuna into killing him, then doesn't that cement his power over her?
and maybe "saves" him from this hellish life too
kind of a tangent, but I really like how their designs contrast this dynamic Luka looks really angelic and androgynous, so from appearance he seems fragile and like someone to be protected (which even Hyuna seemed to be tricked by when they were younger) and Hyuna obviously looks the stronger one in comparison (very #girlboss (lol...))
but their relationship is one where Luka's trying to control her and Hyuna's trying to escape it... that "beautiful lady" line of ruler of my heart always felt somewhat uncomfortable, and then learning it's actually pitiful (가련한) instead of beautiful is... ...it's a very gendered dynamic, if you get what I mean. despite their surface-level appearances going against what's considered typical
#feel free to send me asks to argue btw#im being completely serious here i wanna discuss alnst oTL#alien stage#alnst#alnst luka#alnst hyuna#hyuluka#well it's... about their relationship...#im not going to try to make sense of his relationship chart comment bc my only reaction is 'is he stupid'#ndfgkd#but the artbook rly has a lot#i can't think of round 5 without thinking of rgu so that probably influences my view of luka too...#btw you're lucky im stopping myself here and not going into some excessively pointless tangent#about how he compares and contrasts with ivan#i can make posts without talking about ivan i prommy#'but you're talking about him now' tags don't count#if you somehow got all the way down here can u listen to 'do you want to fight me' by venus hum#why mention that on this post specifically? if u listen you'll understand trust me
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Do you support a free Palestine
yes!
#i dont rly talk about it that much on here since im technically trying to keep this my silly zone outside of my work related posts#most politics i discuss on here i get dragged into from shitposts#but i do wanna make my stance on this absolutely clear :)#main reason this is silly zone is cause i cant do serious shit on every social media or itll burn me out and tumblr lends itself well to fu
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not to be dramatic but i am disintegrating .
#pls im rly not trying to be like#oMg tHEy tOucHed!!1!1!1!11!!!#but they’re so😔#dnp#dan and phil#phandom#dapg#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#amazingphil#phil lester#phan#dan and phil games#dip and pip#dnpg
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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i'm here. 🖤
#my art#the band ghost#terzomega#omega3#omega ghoul#papa emeritus iii#terzo#terzo fanart#terzo x omega#digital art#feeling a bit under the weather (literally im kinda sick) and current events just makin me feel rly down in the dumps#trying to stay sane by drawing my favorite things and watching artist do story time + art videos#these two are my comfort characters rn.
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ive been enjoying artfight SO much it's rly energizing!! crops of my first three attacks: hamal mahariel for @ghostwise, ariya blackwood for @puffy-shirt, and connor delacy for @reddragoncrush 💙🩵💜
#other people's ocs#artfight#my art#trying to make things quickly is rly pushing me to like#1) actually work on the parts i dont like working on as much#and 2) not spend so much time making everything super clean#which makes a HUGE difference to how long a piece takes#like these aren't super polished ofc but i think they're presentable!#im hoping i can apply this to my personal art too (':
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chewing him.
#this is about all i can offer rn LMAO 😭#i can’t draw rn man i’m Trying to but it isn’t working out 😭😭😭😭😭#so for now here is a tiny dumb offering it’s all i got#im rly trying to get back to it but genuinely i cannot draw rn my hands are not working with me#but anyways <3 yay <3#project sekai#my art#wonderlands x showtime#tsukasa tenma#rui kamishiro#ruikasa
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