#but i do wanna make my stance on this absolutely clear :)

[nyancrimew]

Do you support a free Palestine

yes!

[crazylittlejester]

I'd absolutely love to hear what you have to say about Time 🙃 /gen

And, I hope you are feeling well. I think you said you were dizzy? I hope that gets better 🫶

I’m feeling much better, thank you!! I hope you’re going good as well :)

Sorry this took me a whole day to type out, but I finished!! I got it!!

I have a lot more thoughts, I had to cut a lot for the sake of making it readable and not obnoxiously long so I really hope I still get my points across well 😭 , but here we go:

An Abridged Version of My Thoughts on Time (I’m Insane I’m Sorry):

Okay so I’m starting off this whole thing by saying that 100% of this is my opinion and the research I did was done specifically to back my stance (which does not make it canonical fact. You can do research to back any point. You can do research to argue against my point, even). This doesn’t make my perspective or interpretation of a character the correct one by any means, and this definitely leans towards how I personally characterize and view him and is biased in that way because I’m the one who wrote it. All of you are entitled to your own opinions, you don’t have to agree with or listen to a single thing I say. In fact if you do disagree I encourage you to reblog and share your OWN thoughts so I can read YOUR perspective! I like seeing opinions people have and I love to see how differently all of us can view the same character /gen. I just that ask if you do do this, that you be kind and respectful to myself and others :)

This entire yap, analysis, whatever you wanna call it, is my perspective on Time and my thoughts behind why I believe he acts the way he does. At some point in all this I’m specifically going to focus on how he’s acting at the end of the Dawn arc and in the more recent updates. However in order to talk about that I wanna go to the beginning and talk about his past, the environment he grew up in, his relationships with others, and how I believe that has shaped the way he functions as an adult. My apologies now for being insane, unfortunately I have no life and also a lot of thoughts, and full access to a college library full of case studies- My professors would be so proud… Hope y’all enjoy lmao

Loneliness and Isolation:

One of the first things I noticed when I started playing OOT was this divide between Link and the Kokiri. Despite the fact that none of them know he’s actually a hylian, the bullying and teasing and the way they treat him for not having a fairy feels as though they’re making him to be different from them. Even Saria and the Great Deku Tree speak to/about him in ways that make it seem that, even though they care about him, they do see him as different from the others. (Granted, Saria’s treatment of Link is likely fully an unintentional thing. She doesn’t mean to be cruel when she makes her comment about how after Link got his fairy he could be a real Kokiri because she is a child and probably didn’t think about how that would come off to a kid who’s been arguably treated as less than for not having a fairy this entire time. She’s probably aware of how upset he’s been, but they’re children and I doubt she realized her attempt at comfort potentially made Time feel worse. The Great Deku Tree, on the other hand, referring to him as ‘the boy without a fairy’ immediately makes it clear to us as the player that Link is different from the Kokiri. He knows Link is hylian, which is something the player, Link, and the Kokiri do not know at this point)

Not having a fairy like the others certainly separates Time from the Kokiri because having a fairy companion appears to be a huge deal, something everyone has in common except for him. While it isn’t really on the same scale, I imagine this feeling of not having something your friends do could be, to an extent, comparable to how it would feel if all your peers had cell phones or social media access and you did not. (BAD EXAMPLE I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT.) The ability to consume media at such a fast pace and share jokes and trends with peers has become something to bond over, and being outside of that ‘world’ would leave someone to feel like they’re missing out on something they couldn’t possibly understand unless they get it for themselves. When your friends all have phones and you don’t, you have to sit there awkwardly when they all pull them out to text people or look things up, even if you’re doing something that doesn’t even require being on your phone, like going to the mall or hanging out. Sure they might show you a meme or two, but you can’t show them your memes, or share things and exist in the online world the way they do. Time could see and interact with the others’ fairies but he didn’t have that for himself, and I imagine it was probably hard for him to bond with the Kokiri because of it. Even if they were just playing a game or messing around and he wasn’t even being teased for not having a fairy of his own, those other fairies were right there as a constant reminder that Time didn’t have his own companion because he was, for a reason he couldn’t understand, different

Having played Skyward Sword and the beginning of Twilight Princess and seeing how both of those Links are treated by the people around them in comparison to how the Kokiri interact with Time, it feels safe to say there’s a good possibility he felt out of place and a little isolated by his own community. The way he was seemingly blamed for the death of the Great Deku Tree after finding out the life altering information that he is different probably did nothing but cause further divide between himself and the Kokiri in his mind, if not completely sever the connection he had between himself and that community

Do I think the Kokiri completely excluded him and intentionally tried to isolate him? No, I do not. However it’s clear that Saria was his best friend and the others weren’t always the nicest to him. It’s not too far a stretch to say he probably felt very lonely at times in his childhood, more so than the average kid

The theme of isolation and loneliness continues when the timeline shenanigans happen at the end of OOT and Time is now the only one who knows what happened to him. He has absolutely nothing to show for what he physically just went through and he can tell people about it all he wants but they’ll never understand because for them it simply never happened. Once again Time is isolated from this community he finds himself a part of because he’s different from them in a way they cannot relate to, driving a wedge between him and the rest of society. And Malon and Zelda are not people who would intentionally drive him further from feeling like he can belong, but they will forever be different from him in a way none of them now have the power to control. He formed relationships with them and with other people that were then erased. He knows a version of them that doesn’t exist anymore (in the timeline he continued to live in), and he’s alone in that. There IS no fix to that problem

Attachment Styles and Development

Relationships are crucial to child development and the connections formed when we’re young impact the way we create and view our relationships in adulthood. Peer relationships are just as important as parental ones because they play a different role. While your friends are the ones who have more of an impact on things like your music tastes, interests, and sense of identity/role within your group of peers, it’s your parents/caregivers who teach you right from wrong (often religion plays a part in that as well though not always), are responsible for feeding you and helping you learn new skills as a young child. Having a secure attachment and good relationship to caregivers when you’re young really impacts how you seek comfort as an adult and how you form relationships with others. Children whose parents or caregivers responded to their distress in unpredictable ways (by offering comfort sometimes and being unable to other at times, for an example) are less likely to seek out those figures for comfort or be soothed by them when the comfort is offered. I have no idea exactly how old Time was when he was placed with the Kokiri or what his mother was like, but I feel it’s fair to say the Great Deku Tree was probably the closest thing to a parental figure/caregiver (while he was living with the Kokiri) that he has any memory of. And I also feel it’s fair to say that as the stationary tree guardian of a bunch of immortal children, it was pretty impossible for him to support all of those kids’ emotional needs

Making this assumption based solely on Navi’s role in the story and what she does for us as players of the game: I feel like the fairy companions might almost be more of a parental/caregiver like figure to the Kokiri children than the Great Deku Tree is, simply because they’re able to be around them more. Navi helps Time (and the player) find things, gives clues, and helps the player with the game controls, so inside the actual game I think it’d be fair to say she (and other fairies) have more of a hands on role in guiding these children than the Great Deku Tree. And again, Time didn’t have that, not until his adventure started. He didn’t have a fairy companion while his friends and peers did, he was on his own. He wasn’t getting that potential comfort from a reliable caregiver the others were, which I believe can be partly responsible for how determined he is to solve his own issues. (Of course personality also has a play in things like this, and as we all know the hero’s spirit is incredibly fucking stubborn.) He was taught through the failures of the ‘adult’ figures in his life that the only one who’d be there to really comfort him was him

Identity and Relationships

Apart from feeling alone and not having the same types of companionship his peers did, I firmly believe Time seriously struggled with identity issues as well. Being told he wasn’t enough for the Master Sword yet, just to then be suddenly physically several years older and expected to operate as an adult despite having less than a decade of life experience, back to being shoved into the body of a child after living through horrors and accumulating scars that are now just gone doesn’t real make for the most confident, mentally stable of people. The message he most likely took from that was “You’re not enough as you are.”

He was a hero who saved a kingdom, then forgotten when everything was set back, and then abandoned by the one person (fairy) who went through it all with him after it was all done. If he’d felt alone or isolated in his youth before all that happened, I can’t imagine how overwhelming all those emotions were after all that. He needed Navi because she’s the only one who can really validate what he went through, she was the only one who could have understood him. She was a guardian and a friend and he couldn’t figure out why she left him, which must’ve just been absolutely devastating.

He was still just a kid, with no one to talk to about these issues. (Though he sort of works through some of them on his own through helping others in Majora’s Mask. Granted that left him with new issues even if it may have helped him work through a few old ones. I think there are quite a lot of similarities between Link and Skull Kid, but that’s a yap for another day.) I can imagine that both his identity and what he was supposed to do with himself were things he questioned constantly, and building relationships with people was probably very difficult for him when he hadn’t fully worked out himself. And he didn’t really have someone to comfort him or help him figure all that out

At a certain point, I think the feeling of being alone became almost a comfort to him. It was the most reliable thing he had, he could handle things on his own and that was something he knew for fact. He learned how to deal with his emotions and issues (maybe not in the healthiest of ways in his youth), and instead of being so suffocating, the isolation became something he could CONTROL. With all the instability throughout his childhood, the fact that he could reliably be on his own without dealing with the unpredictability of others was probably a relief. He didn’t have to worry about people leaving or getting hurt because he couldn’t protect them, but that didn’t really replace the feeling of loneliness so much as sloppily cover it up

Malon and the ranch are things that have been able to give him something he hadn’t had in years, which was stability and companionship. He’s been alone and isolated or dealing with loss his entire life, but she’s able to provide him with something steady, something safe to come back to. That’s been absolutely huge for him in regards to the healing process, because not only is it said in LU that she believes him completely, she’s literally his biggest supporter. And having a sturdy location and person to come back to at the end of whatever little trips he probably continued to go off to gave him comfort while still allowing him to keep that feeling of control over himself and his life. Sure not everything is perfect all the time and relationships are things that you have to put time, effort, and patience into, but he’s allowed to have his support and his much needed feeling of control over his life at the same time while living in that scenario. She loves him, she loves him very much and I have no doubt they worked together to get him to the place of comfort he’s at now. The panels from any of the ‘Malon’ posts are really the most relaxed we’ve seen Time for long stretches of time, it’s clear he’s been able to make a safe space for himself there

And now here’s the part where I actually talk about the recent comic update(s)!!!!!!!! (Yippee!!!)

Time is a very quiet, stoic character in LU especially when compared to the others, which are qualities that pull a lot from the hero’s shade. He’s the unofficial official leader, and he’s at a point in his life where he’s been able to work on himself and form healthy relationships (not perfect ones, but healthy ones built on communication which is clearly a struggle for him still but I cannot afford to get into that this post because that’s way too much. If y’all want a yap about that, ask me later). He puts a lot of stress and pressure onto himself, because he feels as though he’s responsible for these younger heroes, even though some of them have far more experience than he does

But in addition to this, he’s absolutely terrified of caring about people, and he’s not used to working with other people in this area of his life. Because no one sticks around, and if they do, what’s stopping the timeline from resetting somehow and taking their memory of him away? He no longer has the stability and comfort that comes with being alone because he’s forced to work with other people, other heroes who are equal to him in that regard, and people are unpredictable. And with unpredictability comes loss of control

Anger is an easier emotion for a child to process, and express themself through. This is why depression in children often manifests itself as anger. Children dealing with depression have a harder time managing and controlling their anger and can come off as snappier, inattentive, and reckless (obviously this is not the same case for every single child). While he certainly isn’t a child anymore in LU, I think Time is still someone who when overwhelmed is quick to anger, but this does not mean that he’s not kind. He’s incredibly kind and caring, and you can tell he loves everyone around him so deeply even though he’s probably a bit angry at himself for letting them all worm their way into his heart because he’s going to have to let them go some day. But still, some of that snappiness comes through even in his adult years and he’s a lot harsher with the others than I believe he intends to be. He’s not genuinely angry at them, he’s mad at the situation they’re in right now because he’s no longer responsible for just himself. He doesn’t have control anymore, and he’s probably back to feeling like a scared child who might be about to lose everyone again and he hates that

Twilight got hurt and he blames himself for it. He’s in an unfamiliar situation with people he cares a lot about who are all just as reckless and determined as he is, and he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself because in his mind if he lets something happen to one of these boys, that’s on him and he should’ve done better

Ough (A Continuation of ‘Isolation’)

In a way Time exists on a different level of the timeline. He retained memories of things that no longer exist, and he’s witnessed the rewritting of time over and over again. The timeline he was born in may no longer be the one he exists in, though it certainly branched from that original one. He has knowledge and memories of relationships that are real to only him in the timeline where he lives, and I would argue that because of this, he lives outside of society

Now this genuinely has nothing to do with anything I just wanna yap about something because The Voices, and it’s gonna be a fucking reach but if you’ve stayed this long you must find something appealing about my incoherent rambling so allow me to draw a genuinely insane comparison between Time and his existence in society and ‘The Lady of Shallot’, written in 1832 by a poet by the name of Alfred Tennyson. If you have no idea what this is, it’s incredibly short and easy to find with a quick google search, and I encourage you to read it. But for those of you who didn’t sign up for a poetry assignment today I’ll summarize

The Lady of Shallot is cursed to stay in a tower away from the rest of society and she’s unable to look upon Camelot with her own eyes, because something bad will happen if she does though she has no idea what. Day after day she creates these tapestries of what she sees of the society behind her through a mirror. She’s unable to look at it with her own eyes so what she creates is unable to perfectly reflect what it is the world has to offer. And she’s absolutely sick of it, she sees happy people wandering down below, knights riding through, she sees through her mirror what life is like for those within society and she wants to join them. She sees a beautiful man one day (Lancelot) and decides the curse is worth it, just for a chance to leave her tower, so she turns around and sees Camelot with her own eyes. She leaves her tower and goes to join society but by the time she gets there she’s dead

Now one of the meanings hidden within this is how artists are almost outside of society and that is how they are able to so accurately depict it, and that joining society and being ‘normal’ would make them unable to keep their unique perspective that isolation provides. But I’m going to be crazy here and draw parallels to a video game character because I CAN

Time exists outside of society and is isolated from every community he tries to be a part of because the differences between him and the Kokiri/normal hylian are so significant he feels like he doesn’t belong there. Despite having built his sense of identity back up, he still, to an extent, feels like an outsider. The things he’s been through separate him from being able to just be a normal guy, and he craves so badly to be part of a community he’s almost convinced himself he CANNOT join. The chain (and Malon, but mainly the other heroes) help him have something to connect to, because while they may not have the exact same experience they understand him more than anyone else ever could. He then tries to join society, something happens, and he dies a warrior full of regrets

Is it a reach? Yeah. But I like the poem and I can’t stop thinking about the parallels (that I’ve probably completely fucking made up at this point) every time I think too long about Time and it makes me claw at the dry wall and scream. I’m so normal…

Anyways, *weak cough* thanks for reading, if you did. It means a lot that you’ve supported my insanity. I hope this is coherent-

Thanks Emmie for reading through this for me 😭, and special shoutout to every single one of you who sent me asks yesterday to remind me to write this I love you all sm actually:

@trash-aged-like-fine-wine @rebornofstars @blueskybehindtheclouds @captainn-hook @ghosttoasts

[thatcryptidinthewoods]

Strap in boys, this is a long one.

So I was looking back through the pages of the manga and I noticed something very interesting about Hyuse. It's a really subtle thing but it's been blowing my mind all the way to Saturn and back.

I had to split this post up because of the Tumblr picture limit so if you want the full version you can find it here.

When we first meet Hyuse, he's in the Aftokrator Away Ship, dressed in Aftokrator's military uniform, surrounded by fellow soldiers. And he looks like this:

Look at his hair. It's neat and tidy, slicked back to be smooth and out of the way. It's very round and flat and well-behaved, almost like it's been polished.

Soon after this, Hyuse is instructed to go out and fight Tamakoma-1. So he does. He goes with Viza and he fights Tamakoma-1.

But Tamakoma-1 isn't easy to beat. In fact, they're quite hard to beat, and Hyuse is encountering some difficulties. Their techniques and weapons are new, unusual and unknown to him - he's being exposed to how Meeden works for the first time. And his hair... scruffs just a little bit.

Just a little bit messier, not a lot to really matter. Could be just the effect of an intense fight.

Then he meets Jin.

And then he fights Jin. And after fighting Jin and learning that his fellow Aftokratans have left, he looks like this:

Those back spikes weren't like that before, were they? No, after having fought with Jin and being told he's been abandoned by his comrades, Hyuse's hair is definitely scruffier. (Also, doesn't that crack look weirdly like he's... crying? Food for thought.)

So Aftokrator loses and Hyuse is taken prisoner, and when we next see him, it's here:

Posture slouched, hands in his pockets, hood over his head. A very clear anti-social stance. He doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to talk to these people, he's pretty much doing this against his will. So he's reluctant, and he's hiding.

This is a common thing with Hyuse. It's how Ashihara communicates the distance between Hyuse and other characters to the audience; if he doesn't want to be there, he puts the hood up and he hides. And it's kinda interesting that the behaviour that is associated with Hyuse hiding is also the behaviour where he covers his hair.

His hair, which went from almost-uniform neatness in Aftokrator's ship to a ruffled mess after being on Meeden.

Do you see where this is heading? Let me keep going.

After the Aftokrator invasion, Hyuse spends some time among Tamakoma Branch as per Border's way of keeping him prisoner. He barely talks to any of the people there, but that doesn't mean he doesn't interact with them. He's still in the same space as them, sharing the same environment, so he continues to gain exposure to Meeden and its people, and he bonds particularly with Yōtarō.

Following this, the next major event in the story is the Galopoula invasion. Towards the end Hyuse meets with one of the Galopoula soldiers (Reghindetz) and demands to be taken with them so he can return to Aftokrator.

Hyuse fakes stabbing Yōtarō in order to convince Reghindetz of taking him with them, but Reghindetz flips out a completely grills him.

Chapter 135 is the first ever chapter to be titled with Hyuse's name; it's incredibly important to his character, and this panel is the centre of it. It takes up half the page it's on. Ashihara wanted to make it very clear to the audience that this moment for Hyuse is absolutely critical - and it is, because this is a major turning point in Hyuse's character growth. He's just had the blatant truth of what it means to be left behind by Aftokrator thrown right in his face.

And you wanna know what Ashihara chose to highlight in such an incredibly crucial moment for Hyuse's character?

His fucking hair.

His messy, fluffy, scruffy hair that looks absolutely nothing like it did when he first arrived in the Aftokrator ship. His hair, which has gone from neat and orderly and controlled to wild and free just from being on Meeden.

But the absolute wildest part? Hyuse looks like a teenager now. The more his hair fluffs up and gets scruffy, the more Hyuse looks like a normal everyday teenager who just grew up on Meeden/Earth. It's insane. It's surreal. It's absolutely off-the-walls batshit bonkers and Ashihara is a bloody genius.

It doesn't stop there either, because the very next thing that happens is the first time the audience gets to see Hyuse put on Lambyris. And lo and behold...

Hyuse, using Lambyris and wearing Aftokrator's military uniform, has scruffy hair.

Ashihara could've just made it so that Lambyris automatically gives Hyuse neatened hair, and excused the previous scruffiness with "he was in a fight". But he didn't. Instead he chose to show us Hyuse putting on Lambyris while looking like a normal teenager, and have his trion body load in with god damn scruffy hair.

What happens afterwards? Well...

Hyuse hides again.

Notice how he took the hood off when facing Reghindetz? He was confident then, self-assured. He had a plan and he was gonna act on it. Now, that's all been crushed. He's back to square one and worse, he's been confronted with the fact that he's been abandoned.

There's a distinct pattern to Hyuse's hiding. Whenever he's faced with something that shakes his world view and/or hurts his pride, he puts his hood up. He creates a second shield for himself and he uses it to cover up his key defining features. This isn't just anti-social behaviour, it's a defence mechanism.

The Aftokrator invasion? No hood, but the moment he's taken prisoner of war it's there. Aftokrator lost and then left Hyuse behind, and he's hiding how he's hurt by that. On top of that, he's being manhandled by Border.

Confronting Reghindetz? No hood, he didn't feel like he needed it. Post-Galopoula invasion? Hood up, head down, won't sit near anyone but Yōtarō. He's having to rearrange his whole perception of himself, Aftokrator and Meeden and it sucks.

And thirdly, confronting the Border Executives. In order for Hyuse to get back to Aftokrator, he needs to join Tamakoma-2 as their second ace, and help them get onto the Away Mission team. To do that, however, he needs approval from the heads of Border - which means he needs Osamu to plead his case.

Notice how, by having him sat down, Ashihara made Hyuse shorter than Yūma in this panel? How Hyuse, who's normally the tallest out of Tamakoma-2, is depicted as smaller than their smallest member? And even more than that, how Osamu is now the tallest?

Where Hyuse is normally the guide, the advisor, the more experienced one that the others turn to, in this situation he is the one reliant on them.

And look, he's regressed. He's gone back to that flat-eyed stare he had when we first saw him in the hoodie, sat in the back of the car.

He's been placed into a situation where he is basically powerless and completely dependent on others to survive, and in response all of his defence mechanisms have gone back up. He refuses to emote properly and only talks when he feels it's absolutely necessary, and the hood stays firmly on - hiding not only his hair but his horns as well, the key defining feature of his Neighbour heritage.

But Mikumo succeeds in getting Hyuse approved for Tamakoma-2. And Hyuse, incidentally, goes back to being depicted as the tallest of the four of them.

From this angle, it also appears that he's no longer slouching. His confidence is slowly coming back.

So at long last, in Chapter 150/151, Hyuse joins Border. He rocks up at the induction ceremony in a customised C-Rank uniform, hair fully exposed and scruffy as ever.

[yoomiwrites]

Salty Rush⁸

Summary: Some time ago, Reader was a partner of Akainu, a comrade he could rely on. Reader betrayed the navy, became part of a pirate crew...And finally the two face each other again

Note: This chapter is rather short. Why? Because the next chapter will be smut and I originally had it included here, but I'd much rather have it in it's own chapter for ya'll so that you don't have to see—or read—anything ya don't wanna.

I watched him walk away, his broad shoulders tense and his pace unyielding, as if trying to put as much distance between us as possible. My heart still raced, my mind still reeling from the kiss—the rawness, the intensity of it—but I couldn’t let him leave like this, not after what had just happened.

“Sakazuki!” I called, hurrying after him.

“Go back,” he growled, not bothering to turn around, his voice gruff and filled with warning. “Leave before I change my mind and kill you after all.”

I stopped in my tracks, his words cutting through the air like a blade. For a second, the old fear tried to creep back in, but something inside me pushed it away. I wasn’t afraid. Not of him. Not after everything.

“You think I’m scared of you?” I asked, my voice steady despite the storm of emotions swirling inside me. “I’m not. I just… I want to understand.”

He paused, but didn’t turn to face me. His back was rigid, his fists clenched at his sides as if he was trying to keep himself in control.

I stepped closer, determined to make sense of the storm between us. “You kissed me,” I said softly, “and then you tell me to leave. You’ve been pushing me away this whole time, but I am not stupid, Sakazuki. I can feel it. You still care. After all this time…”

His silence was deafening, but the tension in his stance told me everything. My heart pounded as I took another step, closing the distance between us. “Even after everything that’s happened… after all this time?” I asked, the question heavy with the weight of the years we had lost.

He finally turned, his dark eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made my breath catch. His jaw was tight, his lips pressed into a thin line as if he was fighting against himself. But then, in a voice so low I almost missed it, he answered, “Always.”

The word hung between us like a confession, a truth that had been buried for far too long. My chest tightened, the gravity of it settling deep within me. This wasn’t just a moment of weakness or confusion—it was something that had lingered between us for years, something that had never faded.

We stopped, both of us standing still as the reality of what we felt settled in. For the first time, it was clear: we had one thing in common, after everything—love. But it was a love that had no place in the world we lived in.

He was an admiral, a man bound to duty, to justice, to an unwavering belief in absolute power. And I was a pirate, a traitor in his eyes, a person who had walked away from everything the Marines stood for.

It was too late.

“It was doomed to fail from the start, wasn’t it?” I said quietly, my voice heavy with resignation. “We never stood a chance.”

Sakazuki’s face hardened, but I could see the pain behind his eyes, the war he was waging inside himself. “You made your choice,” he said, his voice cold but wavering. “You became a pirate. You turned your back on everything. On me.”

“I didn’t turn my back on you,” I said, my voice sharper now. “I turned my back on the system. You knew it was broken, too. You understood why I left, even if you never admitted it.”

His fists clenched again, and I could see the conflict tearing him apart. He had always been unwavering in his beliefs, in his sense of duty. But now, standing here, I could see the cracks in that facade.

“What do you want from me?” he asked, his voice raw, almost desperate. “You think this changes anything? You’re still—”

“I know what I am,” I cut him off. “I’m a pirate. A traitor. And you’re an admiral. You’re right—it’s too late for us. It’s too late for whatever this could’ve been.”

The silence that followed was crushing. We both knew the truth. Even though we had found each other again, even though the feelings between us hadn’t died, the reality of our positions was unchangeable.

He took a step forward, and I held my breath, wondering what he would say, what he would do. But instead, his hand hovered in the air between us, fingers twitching as if he wanted to reach out and pull me close again, but he stopped himself.

His eyes softened just a fraction, and in that moment, I saw the man I had known all those years ago—the man who had cared for me, even if he had never said it out loud. “It was always doomed,” he murmured, his voice a quiet admission. “But that doesn’t change anything.”

The weight of his words pressed against my chest, but I couldn’t let it end like this. Not again.

I reached out, fingers curling around his wrist, stopping him as he made to turn away. He stiffened at my touch but didn’t pull back. His pulse thrummed beneath my fingertips, strong and unrelenting, just like the man himself.

“Then let it be doomed,” I said, my voice barely louder than a whisper. “Let it be impossible. But don’t walk away from this. Don’t walk away from me.”

For a moment, he didn’t respond. The tension between us coiled tighter, the air thick with unspoken words, unyielding emotions. And then, as if something inside him finally snapped, he turned fully to face me.

His hand shot up, gripping my arm—not rough, but firm, grounding. His dark eyes burned into mine, filled with a fire that rivaled the magma he commanded. “Do you have any idea what you’re asking for?” he rasped, his voice low, guttural.

“I’m asking for you,” I said, unflinching.

A flicker of something—anger, longing, fear—crossed his face before he closed the distance between us in a single, decisive step. His lips crashed against mine, the kiss raw and hungry, fueled by years of repression and pain. It wasn’t gentle, wasn’t soft. It was desperate, a battle of wills as much as it was a surrender.

My back hit the rough bark of a tree, but I barely noticed, too consumed by the heat of him, the weight of his body pressing against mine. His hands, calloused and strong, cupped my face, holding me in place as if afraid I’d disappear.

I tangled my fingers in his coat, pulling him closer, needing him closer. The world around us faded—the sea, the wind, the impossible reality of who we were—all of it dissolved into the fire that blazed between us.

When we finally broke apart, both of us were breathing heavily, our foreheads resting together. His hand moved to my jaw, his thumb brushing over my cheek in a way that was almost tender, a stark contrast to the intensity of the kiss.

“This still changes nothing,” he said, his voice hoarse but resolute, as if trying to convince himself as much as me.

“It changes everything,” I countered, my own voice trembling with the truth of it. “You know it does.”

He didn’t respond, but his silence spoke volumes. He closed his eyes briefly, his brow furrowing as if the weight of his emotions was too much to bear. When he opened them again, the conflict in his gaze was as clear as the stars overhead.

“We’ll burn for this,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl. “You understand that, don’t you?”

I nodded, my fingers tightening on the fabric of his coat. “Then let it burn.”

For a long moment, he just stared at me, his expression unreadable. And then, with a deep, shuddering breath, he leaned in again, his lips finding mine in a kiss that was slower, deeper, and filled with something that felt achingly like surrender.

As we sank to the ground, the roughness of the tree at my back and the cold earth beneath us, I realized something: this moment, however fleeting, was worth every consequence.

[okkos-ferrum]

gray's return in the show and how it defines gray as a truly morally gray character

i just gotta ramble more abt this scene, with it being one of my favorite scenes in the show. but really i just wanna talk abt how this scene encapsulates gray's ... grayness... of the moral variety

especially since it is done so effectively since, like i mentioned in other posts, our screen time with actual gray and not graham or whatever is limited.

this scene sees the return of gray in the plot, picking up directly where we leave off from all the way back in episode 2

Bye-bye, Black Sheep...

I assume you prefer I continue to call you "Carmen"?

as i stated previously on other posts, because of the silly brainwashing plot, much of graham scenes can be thrown out. in a sense, it's the writers' way to put a big old pause on his character

and these are only one of the two conversations carmen and gray have in current day as themselves -- with no mind wiping or brainwashing (not including flashback cuz the actual issues of the relationship that need to be addressed havent been established yet)

so resuming directly right where we left off with gray trying to kill carmen, we return back to gray trying to kill carmen :D

but this time he did recongize carmen's name, alluding to his change ... even tho he is waving his electric stick around -- mirroring their last encounter in paris

side tangent: something i, additionally, love about this scene is just how it is blunt and honest. much of carmen sandiego's drama/conflict is built of misunderstanding and misdirection and mistrust of the characters. Which while, yes, i am eating up, but unfortuntely can cause many characters relationships to be burdened with a lot of things that can be easily cleared up with a talk. gray for once just bluntly takes a stance.

something that i do like is that in their only two scenes with each other as themselves, carmen (the pilot flashbacks) and gray (this scene) open up so fast with one another. there's never any miscommunication between them during these scenes .... well until vile barges into the conversation....

ANYWAY here we get revealed gray's full perception of himself and his goals very explicitly, especially since his memories and alliances was the biggest question over the viewers' head for most of the show

here gray explains that he believes that he is not a good person, someone incapable of change.

from his perspective, the only way he was able to be a "good" person was when he was brainwashed. and he had just had however long with his chats with maelstrom emphasizing that he has always been a bad person by nature. with the knowledge vile will forever have full control over him -- either as a vile operative or as a mindwiped civillian -- gray essentially accepts his fate as a bad person, because at the very least he is himself.

carmen may have gotten away from vile, but he is told by maelstrom it is due to her being a naturally good person. because his own perception of himself is as somebody who is incapable of good, he will never be able to leave vile now

and carmen is right there in front of him. it was his hesistance that landed him into this debacle, and with maelstrom and bellum both just past the door and carmen alone, gray has every chance to right his wrong.

but he doesnt. because he realizes that the very least he can make the choice of is never hurting carmen. as i stated in other posts, gray's main motive is to be free from any standard that could get in between him and his success. but his want for this freedom ironically got him trapped within following vile's orders. he had been so caught up in following vile that he had lost sight of himself and what he cares about.

so now he explains to carmen his absolute refusal to hurt her again, begging her to give up in stopping vile

selfish and selfless

But I'm begging you, give up trying to stop us, because I don't ever want to be put in a position to hurt you again.

gray's plea to carmen here is so perfectly two-sided

he is acting out selflessly in not allowing his alliances against carmen blind him. i mean that is what he fucked up last time in the train, where it was clear gray wanted to spare carmen - with giving her time to share her side of the story and providing the offer - put unwilling to stand against his mission. like an actual human being, gray acknowledges his mistake and is trying to amend it by stating clearly that he cares abt carmen.

he, in essence, is apologizing for trying to harm carmen by expressing his major regret. moreover, he acknowledges their chat in the pilot, accepting carmen will not return to vile. it stems likely from the ink blot scene earlier, where maelstrom speaks about nature, making a distinction between vile, and by extension, gray's, and carmen's morals. he is finally reconciling that he and carmen will not be on the same side, no matter how much he wants it to be otherwise.

it can also be viewed as a sense of wanting to protect carmen. because he feels so small compared to vile, he barely can ponder how anyone can actually succeed in going against them. i mean they brainwashed him and easily gave and took away his civilian life. in his eyes, carmen staying far from vile is the only way she could be safe

however, viewing it from another perspective shows gray's selfishness in his plea. when he speaks about never wanting to be put in a position to hurt carmen again, he kinda places such a responsibility on carmen, not recongizing he himself is capable of changing that.

Essentially saying "hey quit while you're ahead so you don't gotta make me feel guilty when doing crime" while ignoring that he is making the choice join vile

It kinda stems from his lack of faith in carmen or his own cowardice against vile or a combination of both. What may just be the only way he can protect to protect carmen comes off in his own lack of faith in her ability. as i mentioned earlier, this practically is his own resignation to his fate that vile cannot be fought against. he took his own defeat as the only way to be safe, refusing to believe carmen can successfully fight them.

while he was able to get past the hurdle of accepting carmen changing and no longer standing alongside him, he cant seem to understand his own responsibilty in this.

he's being selfish by demanding a change in carmen's behavior while he continue along with his own desires. While yes, i did just detail the various factors that led to him to such a conclusion, the window was LITERALLY OPEN for him to leave

following carmen blowing up the facility and rejecting gray's demand -- SHE IS SO REAL FOR THAT I LOVE HER SM IN THIS EP -- the wall LITERALLY IS OPEN FOR TO LEAVE CARMEN WITH

Goodbye, Gray

Idk how intentional this is, but the framing shows carmen literally, by her own will, forcing an opening for herself out of vile (both figuratively in the past and literally right now lol) while gray watches on idly, too scared to leave the grasp of vile but just watching on.

and his cowardice is followed through in the finale, with after months of idly watching carmen slip deeper into evil by the brainwashing, he actually takes actions against vile by actively choosing to work with acme, abandoning tigress, and being the one to land the memory recovery thing on her.

it is what makes gray such a stand out character in this show, admist his frustrating back-and-forth and selfishness and sometimes wasted writing. he keeps making a mistake but proceeds to fix it right after. his growth into a better person requires him to make these mistakes, because unlike carmen and most people in the show on the side of good, gray doesn't work on any moral compass. he is not actively evil and wishing to inflict harm and conflict like paper star or vile facilty, nor is he driven by morals such as team red and julia. he is driven by whatever he selfishly cares abt. and from what we see of him both in the pilot and this ep, he makes as many mistakes as he does have slivers of good actions

basically gray is an interesting character cuz he literally fucks up his personal goals, but he makes an earnest attempt to make it better lol

[matan4il]

After weeks of watching the violent protests for Hamas. The defacing of monuments. Calling for genocide. Actually physically attacking Jewish people and their supporters. The outright ugliness of it all because antizionism is just antisemitism folks..

It was refreshing to see the March for Israel today in Washington. Completely peaceful, no destruction. No calls for violence against anyone!!!! I felt like, for a moment, everyone could see what the true majority in America think. America really is pro Israel, and I'm proud of that fact.

Hope you're doing well. Are the reactions to your treatments getting better? Is there any way any of us can help you and your family?

Hi love!

Absolutely this. I've been watching vids from both pro-Israel and anti-Israel demonstrations for over a month now, and the difference is very clear. I haven't seen a single pro-Israel rally where there was violence or calls for the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians, no "Gas the Palestinians" calls, no stomping on Palestinian flags... In fact, I've heard more than one person mentioning their pain for innocent Palestinians who have also been victimized by Hamas.

I'm also gonna make it clear that those are anti-Israel, not pro-Palestinian, protests... Because those people weren't demonstrating when Palestinians were being killed by Assad. They weren't demonstrating when Palestinians were being victimized and even killed by Hamas, and the Palestinian Authority. They weren't demonstrating for Palestinians to be treated equally, and be given full rights, freedom and dignity in places like Jordan and Lebanon. If these people only take to the streets when they can blame Israel, and when they use these rallies to attack Jews, they're not pro-Palestinian. They're anti-Israel and antisemitic.

Meanwhile, Gazans themselves ask for something completely different from westerners:

And absolutely, I believe that yesterday, they also published a survey that showed that the majority of Americans stand by Israel? One Nonnie mentioned to me there's a certain difference among younger Americans. Another sent me an article that supported this:

According to a recent Harvard CAPS Harris poll, 51% of young adults can “justify” the massacres perpetrated by Hamas, in part because their main exposure to Israel since October 7 came from TikTok videos.

This is at least in part because of social media selling a simplistic narrative, but in part also because of American universities pushing it. That's been happening to a great degree because of Qatari funding of these universities. Qatar's been responsible for this, when that state is one of the greatest human rights violators, and when it has a record of antisemitic attitudes. Hopefully, now that this funding has come to light, these institutes will stop throwing their Jewish students and moral stance under the bus in favor of Qatar's money.

Thank you for asking! *hugs* I'm still having a reaction, but it's not as bad, and I'm trying to take a lot of naps to help ride out the worst of it. And thank you also for offering help! Honestly, I don't wanna ask for anything for myself or my family. If you can donate to the Israeli Red Magen David (the Israeli equivalent of the Red Cross), that would be amazing, but ONLY if you can. I don't want anyone to feel obligated, but I know that they and other rescue and different aid organizations in Israel have been working non stop, and could use any help. Thank you again! Sending ALL the love.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[thatguywhomightbeagirl]

You mother fuckers astound me, truly. You had Biden and who has two big negatives

- the question of his mental capacity

- his stance regarding Palestine

Now that Harris is up to bat you idiots are still like ‘aw I don’t know’ what the fuck? She’s not 80 years old, she has previously been kinder to Palestine when the potus she serves under seemed to make his stance very clear. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?

‘I didn’t like Biden but now that there is someone that’s better and still has a chance I’m going to vote independent’ or ‘I live in X state so my vote doesn’t matter I’m gonna vote independent’

You’re in a fucking tug of war for your life and the lives of those around you. ‘There’s some super buff people on the other side, but we can work together and win this to make sure women actually have rights’

And you idiots are like ‘no I don’t think I’m gonna make a difference in a tug of war for the fate of my soul, I’m just gonna go play basketball where the rings are 50ft high and the ball is deflated. But good luck though.’

Like I get that OnE vOtE dOeSnT dEcIdE the ElEcTiOn but a hundred votes does and those hundred votes are made up of one hundred single votes and I know it’s how it works in the US cause your country is a million kinds of fucked but what is the harm in trying to do the thing that could actually help people?

‘But she used to be a cop’

You absolute morons. I’ve seen so many people say this. I get it, I don’t like police I really don’t, but in what world is a politician really that much better? AND IN WHAT WORLD IS THE AVERAGE COP WORSE THAN ronald drumpf?

You dense shits decide to say ACAB because it gets you fucking brownie points but when you can actually choose not to help evil and malice you decide to look the other way because you don’t want people calling you out on what’s on your profile?

‘I won’t vote for the best choice because I wanna slide in the dms of this vegan trans girl’ fuck off. Did she work in a place that’s 99%filled with the worst fucking white men you know? Yeah she did but the alternative is John Wayne Gacy but he owns a bunch of properties. Do you know how much worse he is than the average police officer? I know it’s not really easy to compare evils and there’s lots of problems with it but this feels pretty cut and dry. One had jobs that people I don’t like have the other has committed some of the worst crimes imaginable and continues to enforce systems that allow them to happen.

For the love of God get your head out of your ass and vote blue, I don’t care if trump jr is announced as the newest Democrat choice, almost anyone is better than trump. It’s like if Ronald Reagan had late stage dementia or someone who seems comparable to Obama who was a very well received president and you bitches are letting Reagan go so the onlyfans girl feels comfortable calling you a good (gender).

I appreciate the idea that if the good option won’t win you guys are happy to go with what you think is the perfect option. But the perfect option has a 0% chance to win and you are doubling down there when the great option has a 40% chance to win and by going with the 0% chance it gets more likely that the absolute worst nuclear option wins?

Some of you truly astound me.

[5secondsofmoxley]

Wrestling With Feelings // Part 2

Read Part 1 here

Quick reminder, I am not a pool expert. So the beginning of this chapter is brought to you today by Google 😂

————-

“Did you not see how bad I am? I’m a lost cause.” She huffed.

“You just need some guidance on aiming. It’s pretty easy once you figure out your grip.” Hook quickly reset the table for a new game. Once the balls were set, he put the cue ball in position and turned to her.

“Why don’t you start? You get an advantage when you can choose whether you wanna go for stripes or solid. If you get a good hit, you might be able to knock a ball right off the bat.” Hook stepped back, motioning her to take his place and go for the break.

She stepped forward hesitantly. Giving him once last glance, she focused on the task at hand. Leaning over the table, she lined up her stick with the cue ball. Hook had to remind himself that he was helping her learn to play better, focusing his eyes on her hands and not her ass. But damn, if she didn’t look good in those shorts.

“Are you sure I should start and not watch you take the first hit?” Startled from his thoughts, he quickly looked at her face, hoping she didn’t catch where his stare was. Two drinks and I’m thinking like a horny teen? Hook thought to himself.

Pulling his mind out of the gutter, he stepped forward next to her. “Right off the bat, I can show you how to hold the cue. Are you a righty, or a lefty?”

“Depends on what I’m doing.” Hook blinked at her. She sighed before adding, “for the most part, I’m a righty.”

Baffled at her response, he chuckled. “What does that even mean?”

“It means I’m ambidextrous, but for most things, like writing and such, I use my right hand. I can write with my left but it’s smoother with my right. But, I’m backwards when playing hockey, I was told I held the stick like a lefty. And I carry purses on my left arm. I don’t know, Tyler, I’m just weird like that. I walk my own path.” Ignoring the fluttering in his chest from hearing her say his name for what he’s pretty sure is the first time ever, he lets out a hearty laugh. He couldn’t help but find her nervous rambling absolutely adorable.

“Okay then. So, assuming that to play pool your right arm is dominant, you want to use that to aim. Your right hand is going to grip the back end of the stick. Use your left hand for the bridge. It’s basically just your leverage to hit the cue ball. Your right hand is doing all the work to aim and push.” Tyler leaned over, showing her what he meant as he explained it. “I’m going to break, but I’ll let you take the first shot after. Next round, you’ll break.”

“And that means?” She asked sheepishly.

“It just means you’re breaking the rack. Making the first hit after the balls are set in the triangle piece.”

“Oh, makes sense.”

Tyler smiled, shaking his head before making the first shot. Once all the balls stopped, he looked to her expectedly.

“Okay, I’m going now I guess.” She stepped to the table again before looking back at Hook. “Um, which am I going for?”

“Doesn’t matter, choose whichever you think you might be able to knock into a pocket right away.” He watched her as she walked around the table, carefully inspecting her options. He could see the gears in her head turning, but when he caught sight of her best shot, he guided her in the right direction.

“Come over here.” He motioned her to follow him to the side of the table. “This solid blue is your best shot. If you hit it at the right angle, and just the right amount of force, you have almost a clear shot into the pocket.”

“Tyler,” there’s that fluttering again, “I really think you have too much faith in me.”

“Lean in for your shot, and I’ll fix your form.”

She wiped a hand down her face, staring down her so called “best shot.” Leaning over the table, she took what she had thought was the correct stance.

Tyler hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was appropriate to lean over her and move her into better form. He couldn’t figure out a way to explain it to her that she’d understand. So, he convinced himself that she’d tell him if she wasn’t comfortable, before going in for the kill.

He took a breath before stepping next to her, and wrapping his right hand around hers. He gently twisted her hand, making it more comfortable for her and giving her a better grip. Moving his left hand forward, he fiddled with her fingers for a second to make her a better bridge. His eyes flickered to her face for a second, just in time to catch her eyes flicking back up to his from his mouth.

Holding eye contact with her, everyone else in the room disappeared. All the noise was drowned out, and suddenly it was just the two of them. Tyler couldn’t hear a thing besides his own heart pounding out of his chest. He wondered if she could feel it as he caught her just slightly pressing her back more into his chest.

And in his normal awkward fashion, instead of making a move, he helped with hers.

“Pull your right hand back, and just slide it forward with enough energy to hit the ball straight to the pocket.” He pulled his hand back, and since it was still firmly wrapped around hers, he gave her the perfect shot. The cue ball made contact with the solid blue ball and knocked it right into the corner pocket.

She turned her head just in time to catch the ball falling down the picket. Squealing excitement, she grinned at Tyler. “That’s the first time I’ve ever gotten the first shot! I mean, you did all the work, but it counts right?”

He laughed at that. “Yeah, ready to go for another?”

—-

“I can’t believe I actually won! Twice!” Tyler smiled at his feet, not having the heart to tell her he let her win one game. He wasn’t entirely sure she understood that she only won because he “accidentally” knocked the 8 ball into the pocket before his final striped ball. He was proud of the fact that she did legitimately win that second time. Hook was surprised how fast she picked up pool once she knew the proper way to hold the cue.

They had played 3 games total. She really got into playing after that initial game where he taught her how to play. He would’ve let her win that game, but he knew it would’ve been too obvious since she missed every shot he didn’t help her with.

“And you said you were a lost cause.”

“I would’ve been without you.” He swore she could hear how loud his heart was beating. They were walking shoulder to shoulder back to their hotel. Sometime during their second game, Danhausen had gone over to them seeing if they were ready to go. Hook was exhausted, but when he saw the look on her face, he decided he’d stay as long as she wanted to. So, Danhausen had left without them, promising to take their luggage back and not take anymore of Hook’s chip stash.

Tyler smiled at her, not knowing how to respond. Tonight had been amazing. Though most of their focus had been on playing, they really got lost in their conversations. He didn’t think he’d spoken to anyone nearly as much as he had with her during those few blissful hours.

A gentle nudge broke him out of his thoughts. “Give me your phone.”

Confused at the demand, but not worried too much about it, Hook handed over his phone without a word. He watched as she tried to get into it, but was locked out by Face ID.

“Unlock it, dummy.”

Hook snorted at the insult, but again, obliged without question. He watched silently as she opened his texts, and started a new conversation. After a few seconds, she handed him back his phone. Looking at the screen, he sees a simple “hi” text sent to an unsaved number. Hook looked back at her, just barely catching her creating a new contact on her own phone. She glanced at him after feeling his stare.

“I needed your number so we can set up that pool game to kick Adam’s ass. I’m no expert, but you seem pretty good at pool. And if I beat you twice, imagine how we’re going to crush Cole.” She smirked, getting a good laugh out of Tyler.

“You’re hell bent on beating him, aren’t you?” He chuckled.

“You don’t even know how many times Adam has destroyed me. This vendetta has been long brewing but now, you actually gave me a good fighting shot. Especially with you as my tag partner.” She nudged him again.

Nudging her back, he looked up just in time to notice them approaching the front doors of their hotel. Trying not to be too obvious, he took a couple big strides to reach the door in order to open it for her. She offered him a soft smile as she quietly thanked him. Looking at the ground for a second, she glanced back at him with a smirk. “Glad to see chivalry is thriving with you.”

Stepping in behind her, he hoped she didn’t catch the flush of his cheeks. He couldn’t remember a time a girl made him blush like she could. Hook tried to think of something that could return the favor and maybe even surprise her.

“Well, chivalry is just one of my many charms. Care for a knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet?" Acting fast and with the help of the alcohol still in his system from earlier, he wrapped one arm around her waist, and the other under her knees to pick her up bridal style.

Gasping out a laugh, she quickly wrapped both arms around his shoulders as if afraid he’d drop her. “Tyler!” She giggled.

A few heads of the staff working through the night turned their way, but Tyler’s focus was fully on her. He couldn’t care less of who was watching them. He carried her to the elevator, managing to hit the up arrow without having to maneuver her much.

Stepping in once the doors opened, he looked down at her bright, smiling face. “What floor, milady?”

She shook her head, still laughing at the cold hearted handsome devil’s surprising silliness. “Third floor.”

Hook couldn’t help but smile to himself. “Same here.” He couldn’t thank the universe enough.

It was a short walk from the elevator to her room. He begrudgingly put her down, before asking her an important question. “Doesn’t Danhausen have your stuff still?”

“Nah, he brought it up to Kris. He knew we were staying together.” She stated, digging through her bag for her room key.

Tyler ran a hand through his hair, not sure what more to say. He wanted to say goodnight, but he also wanted to do something to guarantee they’d hang out again. He thought quick on his feet, before coming up with what he thought was the perfect excuse.

“Wanna grab breakfast in the morning? You know, for team bonding.”

A smile took over her face again. She shook her head, chuckling to herself. “Just for team bonding?”

“And for the most important meal of the day, yeah.” He played it cool, but he was almost positive she seemed to deflate just a little bit. He swore her smile dimmed for a split second. He cursed himself for that one.

“As long as you let me sleep till at least 11, and there’s coffee, I won’t say no to that.”

“Sounds good to me.” Tyler went to walk away, before she quickly laid her hand on his arm. He turned back to her, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Goodnight, Ty.” She kissed his cheek, shuffling into her room without giving him a chance to respond. He thanked the heavens she did though, he was sure there was no way she could’ve caught him blushing for the millionth time tonight.

Danhausen’s right, he thought to himself, touching a hand to where her lips touched, I do have it bad.

———————————-

{Taglist:} @shawtys-things

Let me know if you wanna be added to the tags! As of now, I think this is going to be a multi-chapter story I’ll be adding to sporadically.

[sweetkingdomstarlight-blog]

sedated

Pairing - Frank Castle x Female Reader

Words - just over 4.4k

Warnings - mild description of injuries, alcohol, mentions of blood, guns, mild drug (weed) use, nipple stimulation, fingering

a/n - Well hello there (said in an Obi Wan voice), I've got a fic for you. Written for @sweeterthanthis bittersweet symphony challenge, I stole the prompt "Trust me girl, you wanna be high for this" and created this little thing. I have to thank @samwilsonsthunderthighs for helping me out with some research and to Lau and @navybrat817 for encouraging me along the way. I really like this so if you do to let me know. Divider by the wonderful @firefly-graphics

I wake up suddenly, my heart pounding in my chest and panic rising through me. I listen carefully for another sound and slide my hand down my side, wrapping my fingers around the cold, hard metal of the baseball bat left there by my best friend when I moved in six months ago.

I slowly slide out of bed and pull on some leggings and slippers as quietly as the creaky floorboards beneath me will allow. The noise coming from my kitchen has quietened but I can definitely hear someone down there, rummaging through my things. It’s absolutely typical that this happened the one night I leave my phone on the sofa, I didn’t want to be woken by an alarm and now my one lifeline feels a million miles away.

Sneaking slowly into the bathroom opposite me I frantically look around, my eyes landing on a large bottle of hairspray and my brain quickly remembering all the times I’ve caught myself in the eyes while I’ve been distractedly chatting and getting ready at the same time.

It’ll have to do.

If I get murdered in this apartment that would sum up my pathetic life, I moved here after finding out my shithead of an ex was cheating on me and thought this would be a fresh start. I thought the area was nice, a little too quiet for my taste but exactly what I needed after finding the person who claimed to love me balls deep inside our neighbour.

I listen out for signs, anything, that tells me I might know the person currently pulling out the drawers in my freezer but I come up with nothing, I need to somehow get past them and get to my phone before they realise I’m here, I’m brave but I’m not stupid. 

I hop down each step, avoiding the spots that I’ve mapped out in my head as making noise until I’m at the bottom. The anxiety taking over my body makes me feel sick and I have to take some deep breaths before I pass out from the fear.

I can see the broken glass on the tiled floor of my kitchen and feel the chill of the night air as it pours in without restriction. I almost forget about the intruder until I hear them clear their throats, “I’m not gonna hurt ya, I just need to patch myself up then I’m gone.” I let out a pathetic shriek and stumble backwards, watching as the shadow of my nightmares comes closer, revealing itself to be a man, holding one of my dishcloths to his side and wincing in pain with every step.

Like a victim in a bad horror movie, my back hits the wall with a thud and there’s nowhere else to go, I throw the hairspray bottle at him and hold up the bat in my shaky hands, curiously he doesn’t come any closer and holds his stance, watching me with his head slightly tilted to one side. He didn’t even flinch when the bottle struck his shoulder, bouncing off him and landing on the floor between us with a thud. “Who are you? Why are you in my house?”

He holds up his hands and my eyes are drawn to the blood, slowly dripping out what seems like a gash and staining the waistband of his jeans. “I’m not here to hurt you, I didn’t think anyone was home and I needed to patch myself up.” He presses the cloth back on the wound and watches me closely, “Do you have any vodka? I could do with cleaning this up and taking the edge off.”

I’ve watched too many true crime documentaries to relax around him but somehow he’s making me feel more at ease. “In the freezer, top shelf, behind the veggies.” He turns his back on me a second later, clearly not seeing me as a threat, and reopens the freezer. I can hear him pouring out two glasses and get a shock when he reappears with one of them and holds it out in front of him, gesturing for me to take it, “You need a drink, probably more than I do right now.” Of course he’s used my Disney tumblers, I see the smiling face of Belle in yellow dress and wish for a moment I was one of those people who were a little more classy and had crystal glasses or something. “Come on now, you’ve got good liquor, we can’t let that go to waste.”

I drop my guard for a moment and take the drink from him, keeping a tight grip on the bat in case I need to swing it in his direction. He walks back into the kitchen and I follow behind him, he stands at the furthest point away from me but watches me closely as I take a seat on the stool at my breakfast bar, the bat leaning against my leg, and just watch him. He looks like he’s been in a nasty fight if the marks on his knuckles are anything to go by, I can already tell he’s struggling with patching himself up and I have to fight the urge to take over and help him out.

He takes a sip from his own drink, the matching Beast glass making me smile to myself before he tries to wash the area with vodka straight from the bottle. “Do you even know what you’re doing over there?” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them and I don’t miss the amused smirk that crosses his face, “I’ve been fixing myself up for years, I think I can handle it.” I hold my hands up and nod my head slowly, watching him closely and lean in to study his technique, his chest and arms are covered with marks and scars, some old and some new, every one of them probably tells the story of a life someone like me couldn’t even imagine.

It’s impressive that he can clean himself up so well and something in the back of my head reminds me that he’s done this before, therefore he’s probably not someone I should have in my house but he doesn’t have a bad vibe. 

That’ll probably be written on tombstone when all of this is over.

I clear my throat and point towards the small cupboard to the left of him, telling him there’s a decent first aid kit in there that he can use, wincing as he pushes the roll of kitchen towel away leaving behind the bright red fingerprints that will stain my memory when I think back to this night in the future.

Once he’s finished and cleaned up after himself he pours us both another drink, downing it and pointing to the window, “Sorry about that, you got anything I can patch it up with? I’ll pay to have it replaced.” I turn in my seat and look at the shattered glass, I’ve been so focused on the stranger drinking my Belvedere I didn’t even feel the cold but now that he’s mentioned it its all I can focus on. A quick online search doesn’t provide me with many answers so we decide between us to put an old blanket up and secure it with duct tape.

Before I can admire our patch up job the doorbell sounds, it’s four in the morning and there aren’t many people who have my address. This can mean one of two things, next doors dog has gotten out again or its my ex. I take a deep breath and turn to leave the room but a firm hand on my shoulder forces me to stop and turn, “Don’t answer it, no good ever comes from answering a door at 4am.”

I don’t get time to agree with him before I hear the shit-stain I call an ex shouting through the door and banging on the frame with his fist. “You want me to answer it? Scare him off for you?” I smile at him and shake my head, scrunching my nose and telling him I can handle it. I think he’s going to follow me but instead he leans against the counter and drinks the vodka from my glass as I walk away.

A huge part of me wants to ignore the man child on the other side of my door but if he wakes my neighbours up I’ll never hear the end of it and I really like living here. I slowly open the door and look up at him, “What are you doing here?” A slow, lazy smile crosses his face and the stench of alcohol rolls off his breath as he speaks, “I missed you, let me in baby I’ll show you how much.” Disgust rolls over me and I shake my head, chuckling and asking him to leave, instead of being a decent person he takes a step forward, trying to get into my house. “Look I was trying to be polite but you need to get the fuck out of here before I show you how my Krav Maga lessons have been going lately.”

“Ooh such a tough girl now aren’t you, where was all that sass when I had to come and rescue you that time your car broke down, or even that time you lost your friends on a night out? Come on let me in and you can show me what I’ve been missing.” I hear the footsteps behind me, strong and determinded, “Hey, you coming back to finish the movie?” He opens the door wide and I watch as he looks my unwelcome visitor up and down with a barely contained sneer, “Do you know what fucking time it is? You interrupted movie night now fuck off.”

I should feel pissed off that he felt the need to come and save me but the silent rage that pours out of my little kitchen invader seems to get the message across perfectly and it doesn’t take long before he starts to retreat. I thought that would be the end of it but I hear him whisper something about me being a slut and my feet move before my brain can stop me, he turns around just in time for me to land a punch against his jaw and a knee between his legs. The noise he makes satisfies me more than it should but watching him walk away, clutching his junk in his hand and calling me a fucking bitch is all the satisfaction I’m going to need tonight.

I turn back and look at the amused expression of the man who leans against my doorframe, “You’re going to break something if you keep punching like that, I thought you did Krav Maga?” I shake my head and giggle, “Never took a lesson in my life but it sounds good doesn’t it.”

It’s 6:30am and I’ve been learning how to punch for over an hour now. Frank, as I learned he was called after an embarrassingly long time in my house, has been teaching me some basic self defence moves. He’s a really good teacher and honestly I think I might actually start taking a self defence class up once everything is back to normal. We’ve created a weird mannequin out of my sofa cushions and its worked really well up until now but Frank wants me to punch him in the face so I get the idea of how it feels when you do land a blow. He’s been goading me and trying to get me to do it for about ten minutes now but I’ve never hit someone before and I hope never to have to in the future but he’s insistent.

The doorbell rings again and this time I’m ready, I’m not going to let him get a word in I’m just going to punch him in the face the correct way this time, show Frank that he’s a good teacher. I march quickly to the door and open it without checking and freeze on the spot when the barrel of a gun is pointed directly at me.

It all happens too quickly, an explosion of pain followed by an intense burning sensation before I hit the floor and the world goes black.

I wake up on my bathroom floor, the first thing I notice is the ball of hair in the corner that I didn’t sweep up the last time I cleaned up in here. When was that? Yesterday? I don’t even know what day it is anymore. I try to sit up but I’m greeted with a pain in my shoulder so intense I feel sick and a headache like a hostile squatter, occupying every space available. “You’re ok, just take it easy for me.” I recognise the voice but can’t picture the face of the owner, my eyes are still blurry and the light on the ceiling above only further obscures my vision. “You got shot but it went straight through, I need to patch you up but trust me girl, you’ll wanna be high for this.”

I slowly sit up and take a sip of the ice cool water offered to me and take the blunt that was previously sat in the ashtray on my coffee table, “Frank?” He doesn’t speak and instead lights it up and holds it out, I take it without saying another word and let the effects take over me. The pain still takes my breath away but the panic I should be feeling right now isn’t as strong. He wasn’t lying when he was cleaning himself up, he really is good at this and in no time at all I’m bandaged up and ready to try standing again.

This time is a lot more successful and I manage to get myself to my room, wincing when I lay down and pull the covers over me, Frank disappears for a moment and comes back with some pain relief and a cushion to put under my shoulder. He sits on the edge of the bed, pushing my hair out of my face, I notice some new bruising and cuts to the back of his hand but don’t question it, instead smiling up at him, trying to ease the guilt written all over his face, “I’m ok, you don’t have look so serious.” He lets out a long breath and runs his finger slowly down my face, trying to hold back a smile as he looks at me with an unexpected intensity, “I see the tough girl made a reappearance, get some sleep and you can punch me in the face later. Don’t think I’ve forgotten where we left things.”

It’s my turn to laugh now and the sound seems to physically relax him, I watch his shoulders drop and his jaw loosen before he stands up and turns to leave, “Can you stay?” He looks over his shoulder at me, his eyebrow cocked at me in surprise. “It’s been a long night and honestly sleeping alone doesn’t feel like a nice option right now.” I expect him to lay down beside me but instead he pulls up the chair from the corner of my room, placing the clothes I should have put away weeks ago on the floor and making himself comfortable.

My dreams are plagued with images, my ex, the gun, the bright light of my bathroom and the fresh bruising on the hand that patched me up so gently. I startle myself awake and look around the room, my heart only calming down once I realise I’m in my own bed and I’m safe. I hear a light snore and watch Frank for a moment as he sleeps with a little smile on his face, I briefly wonder what makes him happy before my bladder announces itself and shuffle my way out of bed, I don’t make it out of the room before Frank is up and telling me he can get me whatever I need, “Unless you plan on peeing for me I think I’ll handle this on my own.”

The person I see in the bathroom mirror is a bit of a shock, my eyes are bloodshot from the lack of sleep, my hair is doing the complete opposite of what I’d like it to be doing and I can see dark blood on the bandage that clearly needs changing. I decide to brush my teeth and wash my face the best I can with only one fully functioning hand, it’ll have to do for now at least I no longer have sleep crusties in the corner of my eye.

Frank isn’t in the bedroom so I quickly pull on my dressing gown and slippers and go to find him, hearing him swearing at my beloved coffee maker and judging by the squeak of the cupboard doors, looking for a coffee cup. I sneak up and press the power button, bringing the machine to life and startling the wannabe barista, “So wounds you can patch up just fine, but coffee machines leave you confused?” He throws a dish cloth at me and tells me to sit down so he can make me breakfast, I grab the painkillers and swallow some down before painfully explaining in detail how to use the machine he’s done nothing but complain about.

He’s still moaning like an old man while he gets comfortable on the stool next to me but stops as soon as he tastes the smooth Colombian blend I insist on buying from the small coffee store I found when I moved here. I put some music on for us and we eat the pancakes he makes in a content silence, only speaking to each other once we’re done and arguing about who fills the dishwasher up, I let him win but only because its the one job I hate to do.

Frank insists that I spend the day resting on the sofa and he’s taken to waiting on my every need, its funny but I know it comes from a place of guilt. I keep seeing him out of the corner of my eye just watching me, it’s very tempting to act up and pretend I’m in more pain than I am but he looks so guilty already. “Hey, you know I’m going to have to come up with a really good excuse for having a hole in my shoulder. I was thinking I tell people I went to Spain over the weekend and ran with the bulls but wasn’t fast enough. What do you think?”

The look on his face right now is a cross between incredulity and confusion which is not only hilarious but necessary to get him to relax for a second, “You know, I’m not sure anyone is gonna believe that. Why don’t you just tell them you broke your shoulder and we’ll get you a sling, much more believable.” I pretend I’m contemplating his excuse for a second, tapping my finger against my lips as I ‘think’ and watching him carefully, “Ok, that could work but alternatively how about I was on the roof investigating a weird noise and fell off, landing on one of Santa’s reindeers getting impaled on an antler?”

He covers his face with his hand and shakes his head, moaning out a no and peeking at me through his fingers, “Of all the houses to pick I had to find the comedian didn’t I.” I smirk at him and waggle my brows, “I mean you could take yourself across the street to the guy who walks his ferret if you prefer? I’ll pretend I’m not offended.”

The look on his face changes and he leans in slightly, placing his finger on my cheek and slowly moving it down to my jaw while he watches me, “I like the view here, even if its a little on the crazy side.” I smile at him and lean in to press my lips against his, he doesn’t protest so I look up at him and smile, melting into his hold as he cups my face in his hands and leans in to kiss me deeply.

The weird position I’m in sends a sharp pain down my arm and I try to hold back my reaction but he’s more intuitive than I give him credit for, I pout as he pulls away from me and try to pull him back by his t-shirt but instead he helps me get more comfortable and kisses me on the forehead, “You’ll never get better if you’re always moving it, trust me I’m an expert in this shit.” I think he’s going to sit next to me again and leave me hanging but he surprises me by moving between my legs and kneeling.

I stare at him, licking my lips and using my good hand to run my fingers through his hair, “The sofa is a lot more comfortable than the floor I hope you know that Frankie.” He hangs his head and his whole body shakes as he holds back his laugh, I lift his chin with two of my fingers to make him look at me, “Seriously, I have cushions galore here don’t punish yourself.”

“Would you stop talking, I have an effective way to take your mind off it.” He runs his hands up my thighs, settling on my hips as he watches my face. “Oh what’s that then? Do you know massage?” I watch his face as he shakes his head in exasperation, hanging his head and chuckling, “So, no massage then?”

He looks up at me with his tilted to one side, “You know I was planning on making you feel really good but if you don’t stop running that mouth of yours I’ll just go get you some painkillers instead.” He looks deep in my eyes, a slight smirk crosses his mouth as I shift slightly in my seat. Instead of answering him with something sarcastic that could potentially ruin the moment, no matter how strong the urge is, I grab the hand currently holding my hip and bring his fingers to my mouth, licking them slowly before wrapping my lips around them and sucking.

The look of shock on his face is quickly replaced with an open mouth and a quiet moan, he takes over and begins to push his fingers in and out before withdrawing them and holding them up to the light, “Got em all wet for me, what should we do with them now?” He rests his other hand on my pelvis, his thumb rubbing circles into a spot that’s a little too high for where I really want it to be. I try to circle my hips, desperate for friction right where I need it but he’s onto me and stops, sitting back on his heels and watching me. “All you gotta do is ask and I’ll give you whatever you need.”

I’m not often rendered speechless but there’s something about the way he’s looking at me, mixed with the throbbing at my core that’s making me hold my tongue. If he senses that I’m a mess he doesn’t say anything and instead sits down next to me again, looking deep into my eyes before kissing me again. This time his hand doesn’t stop exploring, he softly traces the outline of my nipple causing me to moan under my breath, “Say the word and I stop.” I shake my head and adjust in my seat, hoping his hand will go further south.

Instead he spends what feels like a lifetime just teasing and pinching them, the shots of electricity straight to my clit, “Frank please.” Almost as if he was just waiting for me to say something he moves his hand lower, I open my legs and rest my head back against the sofa.

He slaps my pussy and cups it, running his middle finger over the soaked fabric and whispering in my ear, “Can you feel how wet you are? Is all that for me?” I moan in response and grip his wrist, holding his hand in place and grinding my hips against his fingers, “Atta girl, doing such a good job.”

I don’t hold back, moaning out loud and tilting my head to the side so he can kiss my neck. He shakes his hand free and pulls my underwear to one side, sinking two fingers inside me and pumping them in and out, “Just relax, let me take care of you.”

It’s been so long since anyone has touched me like this and it feels incredible, the sounds he kisses me, swallowing the sounds I make as his fingers rub over the sensitive spot inside me that my ex always claimed didn’t exist. It’s not long before I’m moaning louder, bucking my hips to meet his hand as his fingers move in and out of me. I run my fingers through his hair with my good hand and pull at the root as I cum for the first time in too long, watching as he slowly brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean, “Feel better now?” I can’t form words just yet so I nod and smile, resting my head against his chest as I giggle to myself for letting this almost stranger do that for me.

He lets me have my moment, stroking his hand up and down my back and kissing the top of my head, “This might be the quietest you’ve been since I crashed into your life, if I knew all it would take was an orgasm I’d have been on my knees from the beginning.” That makes me laugh even more, the movement shooting shards of pain into my shoulder and causing me to wince. It didn’t go unnoticed and Frank was quickly helping me sit back in my seat, getting me a drink and making sure I was comfortable.

I didn’t miss the way he had to readjust himself as he stood and I bit the inside of my lip to stop the smug grin that was threatening to burst free. “You know Frank if you need to sort yourself out the shower is all yours.” He turns and flips me off, shaking his head and heading to the kitchen, I might have to keep him around for a little while longer.

[nerves-nebula]

You have a very clear stance about wanting there to be more examples of CSA in media, which I agree with wholeheartedly! Media like that has the chance to save people’s lives! But I never felt like it was my place to write about since I never experienced it. What are your thoughts on who is and isn’t “allowed” to make art about it?

(I’m sorry if this puts you on the spot, feel free to delete if you want!)

anyone is allowed to make anything about whatever they want forever, even if it's shitty and i personally hate it, and im not joking. i don't begrudge ppl for writing about a subject, i just have my own opinions on how they do it. and so does everyone else. sometimes I'll say "I wish this hadn't been made" or say something is a waste of time and is awful or detrimental but i don't believe in the concept of actually trying to enforce who should make what kind of media because I don't think that will lead to anywhere but censorship.

and censorship has never stopped awful things from being made, for the most part it just ends up blocking art that makes people in the majority feel uncomfortable.

sometimes I stop when i'm reading something and think "wow, this is really good, I wonder if the author is like me?" and sometimes they are, but sometimes they're just trying to express something real and that makes it FEEL like they're like me. and it doesn't really matter, because you shouldn't have to disclose your trauma to be allowed to write about it in the first place.

like, i enjoy talking about my personal experiences but it would be absolutely WILD to say that people aren't allowed to make art until they confirm or deny an incredibly personal and painful experience to you. and also you can just lie about that if you wanna write about the subject, so all it would really accomplish is punishing CSA victims who dont wanna talk about it but do wanna ART about it.

annyyyway that's the gist of it. there was this good post about censorship i reblogged a while back that goes into this more and that i mostly agree with (idk i havent read the whole thing in a while so I'm not gonna say i endorse all of it but yea i recall it being good)

[ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask]

In the nook of a valley that looked like it was ripped straight out of a postcard for “Adventurer’s Paradise,” Vannak-134 and Riz-028 stood awkwardly side by side. The scene was something out of a nature documentary, except the majestic beasts here were two supersoldiers in state-of-the-art MJOLNIR armor, not exactly blending in with the scenery.

Vannak, towering and clad in dark blue that screamed 'I’m here to party, but also I might accidentally demolish your house,' wore his EOD-variant helmet like it was part of his skull. Riz, on the other hand, was a study in black and subtlety, her armor sleek and adorned with a helmet that was more 'mysterious avenger from a sci-fi serial' than 'standard issue.' Those antennas on her head? They screamed 'I'm listening to your secrets, but also, I can't get good radio reception here.'

They were supposed to be scouting, or patrolling, or some other military term that meant 'walk around and make sure nothing explodes.' But there they were, staring at a waterfall as if it held the secrets of the universe, or at the very least, the secret to breaking the ice and admitting, "Hey, I kinda like you."

"Bet I can beat you to the top," Vannak said, breaking the silence with all the subtlety of a grenade in a china shop. His voice had that deep, rumbling quality, the kind that in ancient times made people think, 'Yep, that’s a leader,' or 'Maybe he’s a god,' but now just made Riz roll her eyes so hard she might've seen her brain.

Riz turned, her posture all 'challenge accepted,' but with an air of 'I’m also judging you.' "Wanna bet?" she threw back, her tone light, her dialect crisp with a hint of mockery, as if she was saying, 'Oh, we're doing this again? Alright, Shakespeare.'

The air between them, usually charged with the electricity of unspoken things and the lingering question of 'What are we, really?' was now laced with the anticipation of their ridiculous challenge. It was their thing, finding the most absurd ways to compete because apparently, talking about feelings was too mainstream.

"Okay, hotshot," Vannak chuckled, the sound muffled by his helmet, "loser buys dinner. And not just any dinner, but something from the black market of the mess hall."

Riz’s laugh cut through the sound of the waterfall. It was clear, almost musical, if music was made by sarcastic supersoldiers. "Deal. But when I win, I want one of those steaks you swear are 'just as good as real meat.' You know, the ones you talk about with the same reverence most people reserve for holy relics."

"You’re on," Vannak shot back, his stance ready, like a knight of old, if knights were into futuristic armor and making bets instead of jousting. "Prepare to be disappointed when it's your turn to raid the kitchen."

They squared up at the base of the cliff, the tension palpable, if you ignored the fact that this was all over a race to the top of a waterfall. "Ready to eat my dust?" Riz taunted, bouncing on the balls of her feet like a boxer ready to enter the ring."In your dreams," Vannak retorted, with the confidence of a man who has absolutely no idea if he can actually make good on his words.

Then, they were off, scrambling up the cliffside like two oversized mountain goats with an affinity for heavy metal—music or armor, take your pick. They climbed, occasionally slipping in their haste, the sound of their armor clanking against rock mixing with the constant roar of the waterfall. It was a symphony of chaos, a testament to their stubbornness and perhaps, a metaphor for their approach to personal issues—climb first, think later.

Halfway up, Riz nearly lost her grip, her foot slipping on a wet rock. Vannak reached out, grabbing her arm in a move that was part knight in shining armor, part 'oh no, we’re both going to die.' For a second, they locked visors, the world narrowing down to this moment of accidental intimacy.

"Thanks," Riz muttered, yanking her arm back like it was on fire, her tone a mix of gratitude and 'I'll never live this down.'

"Don't mention it," Vannak replied, his voice a weird blend of smug and genuinely concerned, like a puppy that's just saved its owner from tripping but also kinda caused it in the first place.

The race resumed, with more caution this time, as if they’d both been reminded that, yes, gravity still existed and, no, their armor couldn’t fly. When they finally reached the top, panting and probably a few dignity points lighter, they collapsed side by side, looking out over the valley below.

"So, about that dinner…" Riz started, breaking the comfortable silence.

"We'll see," Vannak replied, his tone light, but his unspoken words heavy with the promise of more than just a meal....

This was excellent. Your gift for imagery continues to astound me, and the ridiculousness of this event was so fun! I love the idea that Riz and Vannak are so bad at talking that they’d rather beat each other up than ask each other on a date.

The pining is adorable and the competition is even better. I loved it all.

[nyaagolor]

what do you think of Carmine and Kieran so far? My stance is that even though neither of them are abusive and do care deeply about each other (and seeing people say they are abusive, especially about Carmine, makes me really sad), I do think that their relationship is definitely NOT a "normal sibling relationship" and both of them do have a bunch of Capital I Issues. But them having Capital I Issues that complicate their relationship while still caring (which FURTHER complicates things) and not being bad people at all is what make them so interesting to me and it's a vicious cycle I LOVE VICIOUS CYCLES OF MISCOMMUNICATION AND MESSY RELATIONSHIPS!!! I'm so normal (lying)

absolutely adore them, Pokemon has really filled this game to the absolute brim with characters who 1. Behave like real people 2. Have actual personalities with arcs that don't act like complete archetypes. God fucking Bless.

The general reaction to the DLC tho has surprised me in the worst way possible. The characters in these games are significantly better written than any pokemon characters in the past but ultimately, they are still pokemon characters. Most of their personality traits are made abundantly and explicitly clear to the audience by the story's end. There is not much digging you really have to do here

And yet! I'm sitting here watching Carmine's reception and thinking back to Nemona, because both of them have a pretty clearly defined personality that I really didn't think were possible to misinterpret. Despite the fact that they are laughably easy characters to understand on a fundamental level people STILL have managed to mischaracterize them to the point of consistently putting discourse on my dash about it. "Carmine is abusive" Carmine is like 15. She is a teenage girl with a younger brother. This is how teenagers behave, especially insecure ones like Carmine is implied to be. She overcompensates and is kind of rude like 3 times and lets her caring nature slip constantly because she feels things extremely strongly. She gets really worked up over everything Because She Is A Teenager. I don't understand why this is difficult

I'm not even sure I would go as far as to say Carmine has Capital I Issues (tho that's a lil subjective, ymmv?) because everything just kinda feels like pretty typical teenager stuff? Like yeah she has issues but they're pretty much exactly what happened to like half the people I knew in high school. And honestly I adore that, it resonates with a lot of people and feels like a good representation of actual teenagers and their problems. It's not especially grandiose but it IS real. Her and Kieran's relationship having strain because they are both kids figuring out how to deal with each other and their emotions is a dope conflict to display in a pokemon game and I think fits in with the more grounded arcs and conflicts we've seen in the base game. It's nice

Kieran's fucked in the head tho idk what that bitch's problems are but I wanna watch him lose it. it'll be funny as hell. I hope his relationship with Carmine gets better but I want it to get worse first

[simplepotatofarmer]

not to rehash this but since certain things were brought to my attention, i want to make my stance absolutely clear so it can't get twisted again:

i do believe that if you reply to someone on a public website, you can hardly be surprised if they reply back. if you're actively engaging with someone, that is the risk you take. a lot of cc's do this: wilbur, dream, quackity, tubbo as well as people like lil nas x and other celebrities. these are people. i may not always agree with what they say, but they are allowed to respond to people.

people should not be harassed, end of story. the fans then dogpiling a person isn't okay. it just isn't. and there's something to be said for a cc's responsibility when it comes to being careful about how and who they respond to but as we saw last month, a lot of people feel that a cc isn't responsible for their fan base's actions. so either they are or they aren't and i see a lot of hypocrisy on this subject. it's frustrating.

there has to be a point when people who dislike someone need to stop going out of their way to interact with that person. there's just gotta.

there's been plenty of times i've strongly disagreed with dream. i think his tweets from last year about liking when someone goes private/deactivates aren't great! i don't like it! i also acknowledge that was said during a time when he was facing a lot of queerphobia and since then, he's told his fans not to send hate. he's a flawed person and i get it.

this past tweet when i saw it read to me like the joke tweets he had been sending to his fans that day as well. it seemed silly and unserious. when i made my tweet, the two people in question had both made tweets about being surprised dream replied, hence the whole 'why are you surprised' aspect. no one had gone private and at no point was i saying 'if they don't wanna get harassed they shouldn't reply to him'. i was saying, literally, why are you surprised when the person you interacted with/engaged with replied to you.

i don't think any of this is an unreasonable stance to have.

[milks-thoughts]

✮ 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊 + 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 + SIDE BLOGS ✮

✮ 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊 ✮

Hiii! My name's Emira, or really anything you want to call me!

some things I should clear up really fast;

I have auADHD (autism and ADHD, it was a double diagnosis) so sometimes things can take a while, or get pushed out really fast

my updates are inconsistent, it’s going to be even more so considering I’m getting a job </3

I do best when I have more creative liberties, the shorter the requests better the post

If your blog has ONLY NSFW posts you will be blocked if you interact with my stuff on this blog! Go to my NSFW

Sometimes I struggle writing S/O with gender juice so please be patient if you request a gendered MC (Y/N, S/O whatever you wanna call ‘em!!)

✮ 𝙍𝙐𝙇𝙀𝙎 ✮

My rules are really basic, if there’s something I haven’t covered please just ask. Usually if I’m not comfortable I’ll try finding a compromise (things marked in pink writing are ones I plan on changing as I get better at writing)

I Will Write:

✮ angst

✮ fluff

✮ @bu$3 (ONLY IF THE CHAR ISN’T THE @BU$3R)

✮ gore

✮ Yandere

I Won’t Write:

✮ NSFW

✮ inc3st OF ANY KIND

✮ selfcest, that’s icky

✮ age regression

✮ SIDE BLOGS ✮

✮ ART BLOG

✮ NSFW BLOG

✭ OC (rp) BLOG

✮ 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 ✮

Key:

🌸 -> fluff

🥀 -> angst

💥 -> trigger heavy

✨ -> mild triggers

💧 -> no triggers

🌈 -> platonic

🌕 -> romantic

ALL:

Hang Out Times

turtles trying to teach their s/o something, and their stance is just a little bit off so they come up behind them to fix their posture 🌸💧🌕

SOS she’s in disguise

Boys with a wolf yokai reader (reader uses a cloaking broach) 🌕✨🌸

December Days

The beginning of the Hamato family's precious [ ] 🌸✨🌈

Raph:

Transfixed

S/Os stim being their name: Raph ver 🌸💧🌕

Little One

the turtles have a little sibling, guess who decides he's gonna take care of 'em? 🌸✨🌈

My Baby

Raph adopts a child in the apocalypse 🥀💥🌈

You Will Be Okay

Raphs younger sibling gets taken by the Kraang as well 🥀✨🌈

Fox in sheep’s clothing

Reader goes absolutely feral when Ms. Cuddles starts kidnapping their brothers 🌸💧🌈

Leo:

Copy Cat

S/O that stims their name Leo ver. 🌸💧🌕

Cuddle Time!

cuddle time with Leo and Mikey (separately) 🌸💧🌕

🫧Bath Time🫧

Leo washing little sibling headcanons, sibling post to Little Ones 🌸💧🌈

Saddest little baby in the room

Future Leo gets sent back in time and a young reader takes him in 🌸💥🌈

You were always gold to me

Leo has a shadow and he doesn’t know how to handle it, sibling post to Little One 🌸✨🌈

Take A Hint

The spa episode, only, Leo gets hit on 🌸💧🌕

It Was Not Your Fault But Mine

F!Leo gets an apprentice, he doesn’t do so good teaching them 🥀💥🌈

Take My Fathers Conscious From Me

Reader is ready for revenge 🥀💥🌈 (part 2 of It Was Not Your Fault But Mine)

He Doesn’t Deserve You

Reader gets cheated on, they spend the rest of the day in the hidden city 🥀/🌸✨🌈

Donnie:

And It Was Nice

Reader and Donnie's relationship in the apocalypse 🥀✨🌕

PB&J

S/O that stims their name, Donnie and Mikey ver 🌸💧🌕

You Seem So Lonely

F!donnie acquires a child 🥀💥🌈

Sticky Notes

Donnie’s S/O has memory problems 🌸💧🌕

He Didn’t Want To Make It Messy

Donnie’s S/O gets hurt in battle and Donnie retaliates 🥀✨🌕

Please Don’t Take My Sunshine Away

Donnie’s child is sweet, too sweet. This world isn’t built for sweet things anymore 🥀✨🌈

MUSCLES

Donnie has a boxer s/o <3 🌸💧🌕

Mikey:

PB&J

S/O that stims their name, Donnie and Mikey ver 🌸💧🌕

Cuddle Time!

cuddle time with Leo and Mikey (separately) 🌸💧🌕

Nothing Left To Lose

Mikey’s S/O gets seriously hurt, he doesn’t like this 🥀(🌸)✨🌕

[strangeswift]

just wanna make my stance very clear bc i have been passionate about this concept for literal Months. (but absolutely no shade to anyone who disagrees)

this is a pro- mike cheats on el with will blog 👍

obviously not like. in the way that i think cheating is good. i just mean For The Story. would eat it up in fics or in canon (because i am not a coward and it would be absolutely delicious.)

i am of the opinion that they both Would do it, totally fine if you disagree. i think mike is gonna feel pressure to stay with el because she is literally tasked with saving the world and her best friend is in a coma, and he feels she needs his support, But i think his feelings for will are gonna become harder to ignore. and he doesn't do it maliciously Obviously, he feels awful about it and so does will, but neither of them can stay away from each other and That's what makes it so delicious.

also not saying this is Likely to happen in canon just saying i would enjoy it if it was. because i like angst. ok 👍

[carmenlire]

I've had this taegyu idea floating around since january but I'll readily admit that it is extremely similar to httbt so like on one hand I am absolutely a reader who often thinks "man I wanna read what I just read but new" plus it's in an entirely different fandom but on the other hand like it's literally rockstar beomgyu and probably math teacher taehyun (or maybe grad student, potentially gym owner?).

(lowkey i ended up like fully plotting out the fic/recapping my twt thread so i'm putting the rest under a cut lol.)

like whereas alec was a top 40 sensation solo pop artist, very much channeling biggest name in the industry, beomgyu would be frontman for an indie/niche band (honestly i'm picturing chase atlantic 100% whereas alec was like a tswift) but his band still sells out its tours and is somewhere on the charts, making a very respectable sum.

Beomgyu is feeling ennui, uninspired, very jaded but in a more. . . angsty way than alec? i imagine this fic to be darker/more emotional than httbt with A Big Conflict towards the end where one of them severely fucks up in classic fic fashion.

of course, i've already thought of the opening scene and it makes me realize how totally predictable i am because it's an extremely late night/early morning run-in where taegyu are obviously at very different points in their lives but they have A Conversation and it's the first time beomgyu has felt interested/intrigued by something in forever and taehyun-- actually here's a difference-- he actually has no idea who beomgyu/his band is. beomgyu, ofc, likes that. taehyun just sees a hot guy who's a little fucked up but aren't we all.

looking at my twt thread, i talk a lot about how during that first meeting, beomgyu talks a lot in half-truths, unsure if he can trust taehyun and taehyun is just blunt as always, very no bullshit. they both walk away feeling amped up-- beomgyu feels a little bit like he got an ass kicking, a breath of fresh air and taehyun is intrigued in his own way about this guy who's full of contradictions.

they keep running into each other at the park at these really intimate hours (beomgyu clearing his head/going out whenever there's less of a chance of him being seen and taehyun on his morning runs). eventually one morning, the sun is shining when they both look up and taehyun recommends a lowkey breakfast spot he knows nearby.

despite there clearly being something between them, beomgyu isn't in a place to be in a relationship and taehyun is up front about what he wants/needs and they both respect the other. of course, that doesn't stop them from growing closer until they're like best friends.

constantly texting, both of them start to depend on the other-- on their phone calls, a few minutes of stolen time, on finding the most out of the way restaurants with the best samgyeopsal.

everyone around them knows Something's going on even if taegyu remain infuriatingly tightlipped, both of them wanting to protect this thing between them. the secret relationship aspect is a lot more illicit in this than it was in httbt-- there might not be tabloids to worry about but beomgyu's had a lot of years in the business to grow jaded even if he wishes he could be as open as taehyun. There are some growing pains even if they are both fully invested/committed, even if beomgyu loves being with taehyun and can't get enough.

i'm picturing a classic fic blow-up thanks to beomgyu's rockstar past (?) clashing with taehyun's firm stance on open communication and no bullshit (the blow-up is nothing out of the usual for fic but bc i tend to really love Healthy Communication, i've never written this kinda conflict before but i do think it'll actually fit this au setup and not merely be an excuse for angst lol).

anyway, they totally break up over That Mess and cue beomgyu losing it a little. he gets drunk, writes songs about taehyun, implicitly dedicates those songs to him on stage. he hooks up with someone and feels fucking awful.

he ends up eventually (let's be real they'll probably only be broken up for like a month bc i can't do too much angst lol) doing some soul searching/reflecting on the past months with taehyun and realizing the error of his ways (and even as he was doing it, he was kicking himself bc he didn't even mean the words, he didn't wanna hurt taehyun but his mouth just started without his brain and heart's input rip).

meanwhile taehyun is totally heartbroken (while he seems fine on social media he's kinda falling apart irl) but he was always up front about what he needed from beomgyu if they were gonna do this and he won't bend his own needs and worth just to be with beomgyu.

obviously happy ending!!!! and you know i'll have to include some serious established relationship fluff to make up for all the pain :')

all of which to say..... like i know the premise is very similar to httbt and i feel like there's even more of a spotlight on it since it is obviously my most prolific work (which did also come from a chase atlantic song lmao) but there are differences too???? so like i should just write what i want right?? like especially because i'm worried about being too close to my own work, like it doesn't even matter? and there are some key differences? idk :( i just know i really like the idea.