#but im not masculine! its different

[transmandrake]

Hrm hrm I hate that this is kinda becoming my Thing but this is my blog so I can do what I want-

Thinking on trans intercommunity issues and how utterly abysmal we are, like two brick walls we're both building leaving anyone who doesnt fit the narrative in the middle.

And I think one issue is the lack of clarity between genders as identities and as political, social structures.

I don't think it's real helpful to wax on about trans men being men, not being men, 'socialisation', misandry, etc etc without clarifying and understanding gender as not just like, an aesthetic, a personal framework, but as a vessel of societal structure.

I think, for trans women in particular, and transmisogyny as a (imo flawed but not baseless) concept, where identifying as a woman, presenting as a woman, is a political position of vulnerability, as well as an identity.

The reverse, and here is where I think a lot of hurt comes from, is that the opposite is laregly untrue for trans men, because... Well, the patriarchy and misogyny suck. We / they reject it.

Identity, and political social role, are incongruent for most trans men. Rejecting this paradigm is, to me, the source of (again flawed but useful) concept of transandrophobia- A type of man who embraces masculinity, manhood, identity, but rejects the corresponding structural role.

Conversely of course some trans men are misogynistic...? No, that's not right to me. Everyone is misogynistic because we live in a misogynistic society.

Some trans men embrace the structural role. They are not the focus of transandrophobia because they do not contradict the system. Presumably, they benefit from this.

This is I think where the source of 'misogynistic trans men' comes from...

But as detailed I think this is a systemic issue, not a trans or gendered issue. Women are plenty misogynistic where it benefits them- it is transphobic to suggest trans men are uniquely prone to this because of their gender.

Of course I think society pressures trans men into fulfilling their expected role- Specifically, with the intention that they will fail.

This is unique to trans men systemically (but not socially) as trans women are already seen as failing at their intended structural role- succeeding as a woman is seen as accepting their lesser status.

In a misogynistic society, you can fall, but not rise. (Socially however we are all pressured to perform- but I feel this is different.) and so a trans man, in a... less transphobic society, is accepted as a man if they check the boxes.

But as detailed, to check the boxes is to be complicit in patriarchy and misogyny as systems.

Trans men are uniquely discriminated against, even or especially by 'trans-friendly' spaces, because their identity is contradictory to their chosen role.

Trans men whose identity and role matches, pass the test.

Therefore... no trans man can pass *systemically*. It is not possible. Not without upholding the system. And the system is not our friend.

It does not matter how easy or hard it is for a trans man to pass *socially* or *perceptually* because they will never be accepted on these terms alone. The system does not allow them to exist- transandrophobia is the result. It is the pressure to either lower yourself to the status of woman, or betray yourself.

And betrayal is not final- just as cis men need to perform to the system, perform misogyny, trans men are still trans, are still subject to transphobia, and so no matter their 'sacrifices', they will never be free. There is always another checkbox.

To bring it around... Honestly? Yeah, I think trans women 'have it worse'. I worry about anyone who presents like that to society, as society is particularly and remoreselessly cruel to them.

But trans men are not unique forces of misogyny or patriarchy. The suggestion... is transphobic. When you say these things, you are actually *agreeing with the system* that they should fulfill their role.

There is no shortage of voices that want us / them to shrivel up and shut up so we / they stop being living contradictions.

There is also no shortage of voices insisting we 'man up' (a neverending pursuit) and fulfill the role we're expected to. Acceptance in the patriarchy is conditional, and the condition is self-annihilation.

Those who choose this are, while tragic and pitiable, fully culpable and complicit. But not monstrous either. It is after all what everyone wants and expects.

This dynamic is complex, and the concepts of gender, passing, presenting, sex... I think we are hurting each other because the system has been neglected in the conversation. I think this is what transmisogyny attempts to address, but... well, it neglects the unique systemic pressures on trans men.

So is transandrophobia the solution as a concept? Honestly neither works. I like transunity as a term but its still underdeveloped and evidently hasnt fostered much unity.

Misogyny is not the force at work here alone. Misandry is not the missing piece because it is not systemic.

But the patriarchy is. And no one is exempt from that.

[perilegs]

i'm trying to watch a trans guy critique some video game trans rep bc i'm interested in hearing more trans ppl talk about it. but he's very. i'm paraphrasing here but "why would anyone ever in a million years want their rpg character to have top surgery scars. isnt that a constant reminder to you and everyone around you about how you were born" and "you don't work on transitioning. you just need hormone treatment and possibly some--"

[blinday]

It is lovely to me how Zelda in the games showcases how the feminine power works. The game's protagonist is Link, but Zelda is in the title. We play ad Link, but everything we do is somehow related to Zelda. She is the meaning behind every step, and the reason Link grows, because he wants to save her. And in turn, Zelda takes care of Link, of the kingdom.

She is strong without needing to wield a sword, independent without refusing to be helped, a warrior that fights in ways more complex than physical. Link is the main character, he makes the decisions on what happens through the adventure, but Zelda is the soul. There wouldn't be an adventure without her.

[trollsbetumbling]

have some crappy ninjago art cause i was feeling nostalgia and fanfiction fueled hyperfixation coming soon

[biohazard-inevitable]

Hair

They say that hair holds stories, that the style is what makes a man.

They say long locks make you a pansy and a real man should have it short lest they be mistaken for a girl.

Where I grew up, every man buzzed their hair down.

It was a shame for it to be long and shaggy, and mothers would fuss over you, insisting upon a haircut.

For girls, it was fine.

They could have hair as long as they wanted or as short as they needed, so long as it wasnt buzzed as short as a man’s.

Being anything else just wasn’t a thing round these parts where churches chimed every sunday, pastors clammoring around resturants and filling their quotas in a single lunch.

So I buzzed mine.

I tried as hard as I could to seem as manly as possible

To appear as bull of a brute as any cowboy should.

I wore all the boy things and had all the short boy hair.

My scalp was sensitive anyways, so I thought it didn’t bother me.

It was better shorter.

Wasnt it?

I still gazed and clammored about the anime boys I saw on screen or in Otome games though.

I gushed about how pretty they were with hair down their backs like a silken curtain, or whipping wild through the air like the mane of a lion.

Legolas was never deemed as not manly enough

Beither was Zen or inuyasha or the undertaker.

A crush, I supposed.

Because of course thats all it was.

I was a gay little boy with gay little crushes and my type was men with long, Beautiful hair.

Right?

My hair was a dull, discolored brown from the shimmering blonde it used to be, the blonde I remember from kindergarten.

I tried to return to that blonde with bleach.

My school didnt allow unnatural colors, so anything was better than that matted, oily brown.

Shaved short and as platinum as a ken doll, I should have been as man as ever.

4 years, I stayed like that, and while the short hair was easy to take care of, I felt as hideous as a pile of sludge.

It didnt matter if I was loved for my looks, I supposed.

Wouldn’t that be too vain of me?

Boys weren’t supposed to care about what they looked like, they werent supposed to coo and admire Beautiful hair or seethe in jealousy that their sister looked so much better and has such long, goregous hair.

It wasn’t until after high school that I began to explore.

Covid let me grow my hair out more, though I still trimmed the sides.

I let my bangs grow long and shaggy over my face, like a veil to hide me from the world.

Eventually I dyed it again, this time going with that green I had always wanted to try, the one I had seen on my favorite youtuber growing up, fluffy and emerald.

Still, for years more, I kept it short. Only allowing that fringe to hover over me as some sort of style.

Recently though, I’ve realized I want that hair that those anime men had.

I want that soft curtain rolling down my back like waves of an ebony river, flecks of mossy green dotting it like a miasma of toxin flowing through the oily black stream.

I want the hair like the ring girl

The people around me are foolish and prudent to think the length of ones hair makes you more or less of a man.

I know that now, and I’m glad I do.

I want to stop pretending not to like things

[sieglinde-freud]

WHERE WERE THE AWAKENING SECOND GEN ON JULY 21ST 2023

[uranium]

this show is kind of making me have a bit of a gender crisis. if i may be real

[lovelyrotter]

yknow i love transmasc/tboy dirk always and forever but the way some ppl treat transmascness vs transfemmeness in HS's narrative........kinda sucks. like the whole thing about how being transfeminine is a literal transient experience and lets the character in question (any character) truly escape the oppression of HS's narrative-as-a-character which is patriarchal and toxic (lord english, hussie-the-character to an extent. i guess. idk ive seen a lotta ppl lump SI-hussie in w/ this), which is great and does hold weight as an analytical lens esp with how hussie irl is nonbinary. but where does this leave transmasc characters. why are we treating (headcanoned) transfemme HS characters like this and then tbh gleefully dooming (headcanoned) transmasc characters to eternal narrative suffering brought by LE and then mocking them for being ''gross tboys'' full of ''icky testorerone'' so its their fault theyre in this perpetual torment really? because they ''''chose to be a man''''? dunno man its starting to feel bad. especially since some bnf's who are really into this fan theory do actually kinda treat the general idea of transmasculinity like somthing to hold with tongs at arms length away from them. as if its alien or infectous or something and then get really mad when equally dysphoric transmascs do the same with feminity. why are we dooming dirk strider to eternal toxic-masculine suffering and what does that say about how we treat real life transmasc folks both in and outside of the fandom

[tea-cat-arts]

Aight, as someone who makes a lot of characters buffer when I draw them, I get why so many people in this fandom want to bulk up Xie Lian, but here's the thing:

The man doesn't eat. He's got a mortal body, and he canonically has wack eating habits (like, to the point I'm pretty sure Hua Cheng expresses concern about it book 5). How's the man supposed to be bulking up when he doesn't eat? (Also like... some people just don't get bulging muscles. Doesn't mean they're any less strong, it's just not immediately visible. Even during his first ascension, he was described as feminine looking to the point some people forgot he was a martial god, so I wouldn't be surprised if he fell into that category)

Anyways, unrelated, but I think it'd be nice if he got a slight tummy post canon. Let trash grandpa enjoy good food and retirement

[popponn]

bllk sometimes genuinely reads like part shonen sports manga, part psychological manga, and part self-improvement book

[alchemiclee]

I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.

for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.

when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.

equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?

I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?

I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!

BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS

(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either 😅 can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)

[plumbus-central]

trans teen rick working through some stuff

on one hand he gets make up smeared on his face (which he hates at this age), but on the OTHER hand minnie is gonna get real close to his face and tell him how pretty he is.......much to think about

[kurakuradonn]

Hum. I think I just found out my gender identity.

[c1trvswurld]

Controversial opinion if all time maybe, but I will always side eye a person who is so adamant about denying the fact transmasc experience a unique form of oppression and then silence transmasc when talking about it only then to go " nooonooo me a non trans masculine person will find the term your actually looking for, actually let me just make a whole new term that weakens the impact of your oppression."

Also do not ever expect me to join in on queer discourse again it hurt my brain scrolling thru tags😭

[anachronistic-falsehood]

sometimes im like man i wish i could go by multiple different names and then i remember Oh Yeah I Can Literally Do That Bc I Can Do Whatever I Want Forever

[bgbrry]

i wish there was a way to mute "jonathan sims in a skirt" as a concept but alas i apparently remain the only hater here.